# Anxious new cat owner - need support!!



## DigbysMum (Sep 24, 2019)

Hi all! I adopted an 8-10 year old black cat this weekend called Digby. He had been in foster care for a while but I was told how lovely and friendly he was by the shelter and his foster parents so we took the plunge. I never had pets growing up, but about 3 years ago we got a puppy and sadly we had to return him after a week. I found him too much to handle and my son (who was 5) was terrified of this bitey, scratching, jumping puppy! Anyway, I felt I could cope with a cat - particularly an older, mellow one. 
So anyway all is going well - he is eating well, using the litter tray and will sit up next to us on the sofa for head scratches. My husband didn't want him in our bed so he's in our kitchen diner overnigjt which he seems fine with (no issues so far). My son loves him and he's really chilled and is happy to be petted and stroked (although won't sit on our laps).
So all sound great, right? So why am I struggling so much?? I'm an anxious wreck and having to work really hard not to have panic attacks. Taking him back isn't an option so I know I just have to work though it myself. I also know it's a reflection on me and not on Digby. Just wondered if anyone else felt the same after taking home their fur babies? I over analyse everything he does, constantly worry if he's happy and that he's not bored. It's driving me mad! Please offer words of encouragement!!


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## Bertie'sMum (Mar 27, 2017)

First off - thank you for adopting an older cat so many people automatically go for kittens when, IMO, older cats are a far better option as you know their history.
and, secondly, thank you for adopting a black cat (I have a real soft spot for black cats !); for some odd reason they often struggle to get adopted along with their black 'n white cousins.

I think I can understand your concerns - you suddenly have a new 'person' to be responsible for and, yes, it can seem overwhelming to start with. But from what you've said he seems to be settling in really well after such a short time and I'm sure that after a couple of weeks you'll be wondering how you ever managed without him  With your son (about 8 now ?) to entertain him I'm sure he won't be bored and if he's content to let you stroke/pet him then he's certainly not unhappy. Just take it one day at a time.


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

It might be helpful reading Mrs Funkin thread in Cat Chat too. She was, still is a very anxious owner, which isn't a bad thing. 

Am a dog owner, in the dog world we call it puppy blues, it's not just when you get a new puppy though. It can happen anytime you get a new dog addition. It happens often out of the blue, and you don't have to be a first time owner or have anxiety either for it to occur. It does pass.. How long does it take to pass, is like asking how long is a ball of string. However just to emphasis its completely normal. 

.


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

Even those of us who have had many cats get anxious about a new member of the family and wonder how the newcomer will fit in. Once you get to know Digby better in a while, it will all seem a lot easier. Its the most wonderful thing when you bond with an animal and understand each other. It's obviously making your son happy which is a real positive after the puppy so, as @Bertie'sMum says, take one day at a time, and before you know it you will be enjoying your new pet. He sounds lovely and its great he's settling in already so well. If you have any concerns, there are lots of us who can help you. Can we see a photo of him please?


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## DigbysMum (Sep 24, 2019)

Thanks guys - I really appreciate the responses! He's spent most of the day on the sofa bed on the study but has just appeared for dinner and has come into the lounge to say hi, so he seems pretty relaxed. I just hate the anxiety as it makes me feel so ill. I've lost 3 pounds this week already . I'm just hoping I'll get used to having him around soon!


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## DigbysMum (Sep 24, 2019)

Funnily enough I started reading Mrs Funkins thread but it started making me more anxious as there were lots of things I'd never considered to worry about!!


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## SbanR (Jun 16, 2017)

Welcome! What a handsome, sleek panther you have
If you have any queries, please post as there are many experienced members around and you should get a few answers. I would suggest though that you post in Cat Chat as more folk will see it
And of course, post More photos! There's a photo thread in CC


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## Veronica Chapman (Dec 28, 2018)

Hi Digby's mum, as said before, good on you for adopting an older rescue cat .
Digby is absolutely gorgeous and landed well on his paws. He looks very happy and sound settled in your home. 
We had several older rescue cats and our last was adopted 4 years ago when Benji was 8. Sadly he became ill and our Vet did everything he could to, but resulting with having put down. Benji was a Bengal, he was chatty and playful,we loved him. Unfortunately, he was a rascal for scratching carpets and very territorial. 
It's been about 4 months since he passed, we are still very upset and didn't want to adopt another cat.
Hearing your story has encouraged us to think about offering our home to another older cat. You are doing good, relax and enjoy Digby. He seems to be a good boy.
Veronica x


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## Huds (Mar 26, 2019)

Hi. I had my first cat at 11, just love, no anxiety. She lasted 23 years and died soon after I had my first child. Then the anxiety kicked in. Post natal depression. Another daughter. A milder form of pnd. Adopted two cats. Same feeling! It only lasted a week or 2. Then the trust builds and the routines and habits become predictable and life becomes safer and you will love the kitty !
I adopted a wonderful dog who turned out to be way too much for me to handle emotionally and physically and after 6 months returned him to his foster. Utterly heartbroken but know my limits. Wait. Cats don’t need you as much as you think. Food, comfort, cuddles, health care. Warm lap or space to chill. I love their independence. Trust the kitty and relax.....x


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## Alastairsowner (Oct 7, 2019)

I adopted Alastair on Saturday. He’s a 7 year old black and white cat with FIV. Today has been the first day of his new routine of me not being around (I work every day, and I’m gone between 7 and 7), so I’ve been very anxious and worried about he’s coping with being alone. Heading home now to see how he is and spend the evening with him. I haven’t been this worried about anything since I went through my mortgage process. 

attached photo of Big A (aptly named by the girls from work).


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## Treaclesmum (Sep 26, 2011)

Oh bless him, what a cutie pie! The rescue would have said if he wasn't good with being left for a long time during the day. He looks a very sweet and playful little guy, I hope you enjoy many long happy years with him.


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

Alistair's lovely. Don't worry, cats spend a lot of time sleeping when they're on their own. You could get him some things to keep him occupied if you think he'll be bored like a cat tower, you could leave a radio on but I'm sure he'll be fine on his own. Enjoy your evening.


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