# Cats reacting to house guest



## BandB (Apr 4, 2014)

My brother arrived last night for a three week stay and my two cats have really shown displeasure. This morning my husband had to go looking for them with their food and we ended up feeding them in the bedroom as they seemed so nervous. My boy cat is hiding under the bed etc... I'm worried. My brother is more a dog person but I'm positive he wouldn't hurt them. They are not overly used to men in the flat and I'm wondering if they will settle down. My mum was with us over the summer and they were totally fine with her. I don't like seeing my cats distressed. 
Any advice would be appreciated.


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## Ely01 (May 14, 2014)

Give them a couple of days to adjust maybe? 
I d say there is a level of normality to them behaving different, they are living an unusual situation and wondering how their life and environment Iis going to be affected by this stranger with a big voice.

Oleg hides away for a day or so when he stays with a friend but then is usually fine. When we have visitors staying however he becomes a little hyper/voicy, nothing bad but he s clearly a little unsettled. We never had anyone staying for more than a long weekend tho so not sure if he would finally settle.


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## oggers86 (Nov 14, 2011)

All 3 of mine are very unsociable when it comes to strange people. They do get better as time goes on so I think in time your 2 will eventually realise your brother isn't a threat and start to come out of their shell. Make sure they have plenty of hiding places that they feel secure in.


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## Jannor (Oct 26, 2013)

2 of mine don't like visitors much either.

Get your brother to ignore them totally then hopefully they'll creep out and have a look at him when they're ready and accept him.

Mine are always better with the visitors that ignore them!


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## BandB (Apr 4, 2014)

Thank you again or your responses. They are still pretty skittish around him. He's completely ignoring them. They will now sit in the room but any quick moves and they run.
They are definitely stressed as they haven't eaten tonight. I do hope they settle down soon.


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## BandB (Apr 4, 2014)

Still no change, in fact my girl cat is getting worse. She won't play, hardly touches her food and is just hiding constantly. I'm not happy.


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## Ely01 (May 14, 2014)

Poor souls (and brother!), right I don t know, does anybody have any ideas?

I m wondering if you could keep them in a room or an area of your home/house where your brother doesn t go, see if they are more comfortable that way... or ask your brother to stick to some areas...
Not sure.

Your brother has been ignoring them fine but I would ask does he understand their shyness, is he ok with them?


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

BandB, I do sympathise with you - 2 of my cats absolutely hate me having guests staying, and get very stressed by it. For that reason I no longer have guests staying in the house, and instead put them up at a nearby Guest House, at my own expense sometimes! That way my cats are not upset. 

For the moment I can only agree with the previous poster who suggested confining your cats to an area of the home where your brother does not have access. Not ideal, but it may be the only way you will get the cats to calm down and to both start eating again. 

Perhaps before his next visit you could research local Guest Houses.


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## BandB (Apr 4, 2014)

Thanks all. He admitted last night that he really doesn't like them. He won't communicate with them or try to touch them. He smokes too and although he doesn't in the house his clothes smell and I really do think it's upsetting them. He's going through a tough time and up until 3am and they don't know what's going on. The whole thing is upsetting me. My boy cat is clinging to me at night but my girl cat is getting more and more distance. A hotel might be the only option but not sure how well it will go down.


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

I have found it does soften the blow if I offer to pay for the hotel! :lol: But I have never offered to pay for someone for 3 weeks:frown2: Just a few days bed & breakfast, at a nearby pub. 

I am sure you're right if your brother doesn't like your cats they are sensing negative vibes from him. And as he smells of stale tobacco imagine what an overpowering smell his clothes must have to their sensitive noses.:shocked: 

I do think it is very noble of you to have someone staying in your house who smells of stale tobacco. Even though he is not smoking in the house, the horrible smell is ever present, and I'm afraid I just could not (and would not) stand it myself.


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## BandB (Apr 4, 2014)

I haven't seen him for seven years and what I've found is an utter shock, his sleep patterns are in reverse and he didn't even ask if the time span of the visit was convenient, the ticket was booked before we knew it. He's lost his job in Africa, is depressed etc... Such a difficult situation but I cannot go on like this for another three weeks. The stale smoke smell is driving me insane. I can see his state of mind and I'm treading carefully but to what damage to my own life. I'm on holiday this week but I'm back next week and my routine is tight. Sorry this post has become about more than just the cats. I adore them and don't want them upset. I'm sitting here in tears whilst he sleeps since it was nearly 4am when he went to bed. Yes three weeks is a long time to offer to pay for someone and he certainly doesn't have the money. He's arrived with about a £100.


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## Ely01 (May 14, 2014)

Your cats probably sense he is not comfortable with them and maybe even his general distress. Different rythm (no routine) and stale tobacco as a bonus although to tell you the truth I am a light smoker (10 to 20 week, outside) so my cat is familiar with the smell and it doesn t upset him. Probably more the mood thing...

I hope it gets better with confining the cats for now.

Not ideal but I guess your brother is your brother. I was going to ask alternatively could he stay with friends but I guess if he s in a bit of a state it may not be a solution.
Or could the cats stay with cat loving friends for a little 3 week break if you like? Or cat sitters. 
Sometimes...


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

BandB, I am sorry you are having a difficult time, I do sympathise, it sounds awful. I think it might be quite awkward to ask your brother to leave and go to a hotel, even if you are offering to pay the bill. So I was wondering if instead it might be possible to arrange some kind of a trip for him, for a couple of days, which would at least give you and the cats a bit of a breathing space. 

You live in a wonderful part of the world, with plenty of things going on to interest tourists I would think. Is there anything that might interest your brother? And if you could present the idea to him as "a gift" (perhaps an early Christmas gift?) to cheer him up, take his mind off things etc, then hopefully he might be less offended than just being asked to leave? 

If I had someone staying in my house who, for example, smelled of stale sweat constantly, I would have to say something. Smelling of stale tobacco is just as bad in my book. I know it might be a bit embarrassing to broach the subject but to be fair to your brother he may not realise how bad he smells. In my experience smokers usually have no idea how horrible they smell to non-smokers. 

Laundering his clothes for him or getting them dry cleaned would I am sure help a lot, and maybe you could present the idea in a nurturing kind of a way, e.g. don't be too specific about the smell, just that his clothes could do with freshening up, and say that living with him you have noticed this. (don't mention your cats!). As he is feeling low atm, he could probably do with a bit of mothering from a kindly sister.


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## BandB (Apr 4, 2014)

We talked about things yesterday. He had no idea about the smoke as he's so used to it. He's trying to ensure he gives his clothes a quick burst of fabreeze when coming back in. He also made a bit more effort with the cats yesterday. Talked to them and reached out his hand. It's small but it's something. He really only has me so we will have to work through this. He apologized for storming into my life after so long and said he would try and consider us more. He's got a long road ahead. I like the idea of giving him a short break somewhere as it's a big birthday coming up. He might like the solitude but I'll have to see. Thank you everyone again for all your time taken in replying and showing concern.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Glad you talked, your brother sounds like an okay guy, if he was able to accept your concerns and listen to them without getting defensive. Hope your girl kitty is doing better by now. 

Not sure if him leaving for a few days then coming back again would be the best thing for them, they'd have to get used to him all over again. Cats like consistency. If he's going to be there three weeks, might as well let them adjust to it.

A feliway diffuser might help them, or some Rescue Remedy, a drop or two a day.


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## BandB (Apr 4, 2014)

He left. Long story. Sad. But he left early. Cats however, were instantly happier. The are both currently curled up on my knee something they wouldn't do when he was here.


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## Ely01 (May 14, 2014)

Hi BandB, I m sorry...relieved for the cats but sorry for your brother and for you I m sure.

Hope things will get better for him with a bit of time.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Thanks for the update. Glad your cats are happy again!


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