# Think i going mad



## Guest (Nov 16, 2012)

Well it been 8 long hard miserable weeks without my princess kira , just dont know how i am ever going to get over having her PTS doesnt seem to matter that I had her PTS for all the right reasons , just really want to hold kiss and hug my little princess just cant seem to get her out off my head she is there all the time in my thoughts , I know it never going to get easier no matter what i do from here , really wish she hadnt had the problems she had . I know i have her memories but i dont want memories i want her - here with me like the good days and it breaks my heart to know that i cant , miss her more than i can ever say :crying::crying:


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## Cromford (Nov 12, 2012)

You are not going mad and I take some comfort from knowing I am not alone in having very similar thoughts, doubts, concern and feelings of guilt.

My vet said to us that 'if you are even thinking it might be his time, then it IS his time'. I think there is some wisdom in that.

RIP Kira.


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## MrsLen (Sep 3, 2012)

lisa14061975 said:


> Well it been 8 long hard miserable weeks without my princess kira , just dont know how i am ever going to get over having her PTS doesnt seem to matter that I had her PTS for all the right reasons , just really want to hold kiss and hug my little princess just cant seem to get her out off my head she is there all the time in my thoughts , I know it never going to get easier no matter what i do from here , really wish she hadnt had the problems she had . I know i have her memories but i dont want memories i want her - here with me like the good days and it breaks my heart to know that i cant , miss her more than i can ever say :crying::crying:


You are most certainly not going mad, these are perfectly normal feelings to have. I know at the moment it feels like it will never get easier but I promise you it will. Having a pet PTS is one of the most difficult decisions to make, and one of the most painful and traumatic experiences to go through. You did right by Kira by setting her free and acted out of love and you are only honouring her memory by grieving as you are. Just give yourself time - 8 weeks is nothing.

Do whatever you need to to get through this. I keep a photo of my Molly beside my bed, her photo is the screensaver on my phone and I say her name aloud at least once a day. Perhaps this is an odd thing to do but it helps. When I feel able to I intend to make a memory box/book with photos and memories of her. I have also seen a rose named 'Our Molly' which I intend to plant come spring.

Above all else, take care of yourself.

x


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

The rose sounds like a wonderful idea...I bet it's beautiful. XX
My lovely neighbour, Joy, had a 'flowering cactus'...every year it did not flower and she would give it a kick and say she was going to dump it. She gave it to me and said maybe it would flower for me, it never did for her. She died suddenly...she was young...and the plant has flowered EVERY single year since her death. It is a beautiful vivid pink and every time I see the flowers I think of Joy kicking it and saying I could have it!!


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## Knightofalbion (Jul 3, 2012)

My heart goes out to you...

No, dear Lisa, you aren't going mad. Grief effects people in many different ways. Some will weep openly like a child; some will be strong because they have to be, even though they're crushed inside; some will have 'delayed' shock' and will seemingly be numb to it all. 
Everyone deals with it in their own way.

Though it's true to say, the more you love someone, the more it hurts to lose them. But of course the great comfort is to know that they're safely gathered in on the 'Other Side' and you'll meet again when it's your 'time'.

Eventually the sorrow subsides and you can look back on precious memories with a happy smile and a happy heart...

(If you have lost a loved one, human or animal, send them thoughts of love. They DO receive them.)


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## Guest (Nov 18, 2012)

Hi just want to say thanks for everyone who has posted reply , not been on to reply sooner , life just feels like nothing , everything inside seems to be gone just got an empty heart as my girl Kira had it all , seem to be going thru the numb stage now and it just a horrible empty feeling and i hate it, as much as i love my 12yr old son , fiance and his 5mth lab puppy floyd i just seem so distant from them all , am sure will move on from this stage off grief , just so numb and dead inside :cryin:


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## Jemimma (Nov 15, 2012)

Hi Lisa,
I am so sorry for your loss. You are not going mad. As another poster has said do whatever you need to do, even if it might seem bizarre! 

It is now 5 months since Phoebe passed over but for a good few months after I had to keep wrapping her little box of ashes up in a big soft blanket and cuddling her. I used to come in from work and cuddle her most days before I did anything else - all my worries and stress would melt away just at the sight of her little face.

We all understand what you are going through and there is no easy quick fix but be glad that you share such a deep love and know that one day you will be reunited again and it will seem like you were never apart.xxx


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## Guest (Nov 18, 2012)

We are foster carers for gsd rescue so am hoping doing some good will help me keep busy , we possibly have a foster dog coming to us tomorrow as his sister maybe getting adopted tomorrow and rather than leave Jack in kennels on his own it has been decided he would be best in a foster home , feel priveledged that we are getting to help all the unwanted dogs that have no home and at least if he is still without a home at christmas he wont be spending it in a kennel environment and that makes me feel good that we can help in this way , i think putting my time and effort into fostering rescue dogs will in the long term help with losing my baby girl , she was my best friend , my protector , my life and i worshipped the ground she walked on as she did me , some days are obviously harder than others but some days are so low and so hard to get through , i hope helping all the unwanted dogs in rescue that come to us for fostering will help me feel like i helping those in need , and maybe just maybe i can help ease the heartache off losing my best friend in the whole world , and she did the unselfish act off leaving us behind so that a dog in need could get a glimpse off what she had and what it is like to have a family and people that love and worship them , and that not everyone will dump them when they had enough off them or grown bored of them for whatever there reasons are (Jack along with his sister April were dumped at the kennels )


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## Guest (Nov 19, 2012)

Just to let you know our first foster boy is here and he is absoloutely gorgeous and is now as i write this settling down for a nap , has been a very stressful traumatic day for him .


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## Cromford (Nov 12, 2012)

lisa14061975 said:


> Just to let you know our first foster boy is here and he is absoloutely gorgeous and is now as i write this settling down for a nap , has been a very stressful traumatic day for him .


Good news Lisa.

I can sense your spirits raising and that is good to know.

It's almost 10 days for us now. The pain is slowly easing and I'm more able to look objectively at what happened and realise that Scrabble was indeed old and that he was in pain and that the outlook for him was not bright. We did spare our best pals suffering, even if it meant we hurt ourselves in the process.

I hope that our experiences can act as some small comfort to those following behind us.


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Dear Lisa - and all the others on here who have lost a much loved friend - you are on that sad, rocky, lonely road called Grief.

It is different for every single person. It began with your loss, and, although it may seem neverending right now, it WILL eventually lead you to better times.

It is a road that we mostly walk alone, but sometimes we can walk the walk with each other. This is what we can do for each other on here.

Lisa, it is no time at all since you lost your Kira. I hope that fostering the pup will give you a new purpose - distraction can help immensley, because it gives you a break from the grief. Kira would want you get some comfort where you can. That's OK.

And it is wonderful that you can, in Kira's memory, help a pup in need.

You are not going mad, far from it. Be kind to yourself, and when the grief eases a little, you will hopefully in turn be able to walk the walk a little with someone else on here going through the same thing. - just as the people on here are doing for you.

Take care.


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## Guest (Nov 19, 2012)

I really appreciate everyones help on here and you are right summersky one day i will be able to help someone else who is in my situation now , our foster dog is 6yr old approx our lab puppy is my partners lab puppy who we had when my princess baby girl Kira was around , I know my girl would not hold it against me for helping GSD's in need as she knew my love for the breed and i have never had any other breed before except for our gorgeous Lab puppy , My foster dog Jack who arrived her only earlier this afternoon is an absoloute stunner and i know my girl would love me for doing this and showing a dog that there is people out there willing to give unconditional love , i promised myself and my OH that i wouldnt get attached to our foster dog but cant help it i hope no one comes forward to adopt him just so he can have the rest off his days with us be given the love he deserves (then i dont have to tell the OH i fell for our first foster boy lol)


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## mum to 14 kitties (Oct 31, 2012)

Hi, I have followed posts with very tearful eyes and just wanted to share, we lost Pugsley our cherished 6 year old tom cat to FIV 21st December 2010 and his brother Murphy, May 21st 2011 to Cancer. We have portrait pictures of both in the living room so that they are still very much part of the family. After we lost the boys we said we would take no more....until the quads were born. Kittens of a tiny rescue puss, Tyler, Coco, Charlie and Buster were born, I looked at Buster and could only see Murphy as a baby (more tears). I took my hubby to see who decided we would take all kittens so they stayed as a family. Interestingly, Buster (Murphy look alike) developed a food intolerance which would most likely be unmanageable if he were an out door cat!!

Sooo, all are fine and while I still miss my boys I know the rescue work we do is worthwhile!

I look forward to seeing Murph and Pugs at Rainbow bridge much as I miss them now but I could never cross without them.


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

I just think that life takes us down a path that is hard to understand at times, but seems to take shape before our eyes.

We too, have taken on needy animals - rabbits in our case, - largely as a result of one super special bun that we loved and lost, but will never be forgotten.

I really belive that good can come out of bad.

I lost my one and only dog oh so many years ago, and I will never forget him. He was put to sleep at 12 1/2, after a brain haemmorhage, but I know that he is OK, young and running free.


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## fluid (Nov 26, 2012)

Hello I would just like to pass on my message to Liza, 8 weeks is nothing, I would like to share somthing with you, last Sat our lovely dog a yorkie cross called Poppy jumped as she done dozens of time before.

But this time she let out a awfull scream, then silence she had fractured her spine, me and my wife didn't know waht was going on, having never seen such a thing, her front paws were piting out and very stiff, I placed her on the floor and she crawled into her basket, her back legs dragging behind.

We rushed to the emergency vets, it tooke and age for thr vet to deal with her then the news, but the severity of the injury still was not known.

We might have to drive to a specalist and At a cost of thousands of pounds, we said whatever it takes lets give her a fighting chance.
The vet said we would have to wait to here from the specialist, before we could leave, but not before a x ray to see the extent of the damage.

It was a bad fracture with a 5% chance of recovery, but he advised that she might not make it even then and said it would be better to send her peacfully from this world.

I stayed with her to the end, me and my wife have cried and cried, I feel sick with emotion sick with guilt, did i make the right chioce for Poppy, these things go over and over in your head.

Its a horrible feeling you have and I and my wife have because everthing with a dog is part of your life, but you're not going mad, you will get better over time,
You will never forget them but I promise you the pain will ease.

I know this because Three years ago another dog of mine called max died he was 10 so like Poppy it was not expected, so the grief was terrible, it took me about a year to feel better and three years on I still kiss him photo and think about him.

I loved me lovely funny little girl Poppy her death was unexpected and sudden and like a nightmare, tears are rolling down my face typing this a feel heartbroken.
But I like you are grieving and its a process you will have to go through, but you will come through it, its very very hard I know a thousand thoughts are racing through your head, and I would love Poppy to come walking in to the room.

I belive they pass on to a spiritual world and we see them one day, but even if you don't believe this, they are not in pain they loved you in this world as you adored them, we give them the best years we can, and somtimes that is cut short, life does give and sadly take away, we search for answers, and we ask why, for me it tells us that giving love to your dog or family is the best and good thing to do, and things like this make youe realise that life is so important, and for our dogs we give them all the love we can and I know you did.


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## fluid (Nov 26, 2012)

Hello I would just like to pass on my message to Liza, 8 weeks is nothing, I would like to share somthing with you, last Sat our lovely dog a yorkie cross called Poppy jumped as she done dozens of time before.

But this time she let out a awfull scream, then silence she had fractured her spine, me and my wife didn't know waht was going on, having never seen such a thing, her front paws were piting out and very stiff, I placed her on the floor and she crawled into her basket, her back legs dragging behind.

We rushed to the emergency vets, it tooke and age for thr vet to deal with her then the news, but the severity of the injury still was not known.

We might have to drive to a specalist and At a cost of thousands of pounds, we said whatever it takes lets give her a fighting chance.
The vet said we would have to wait to here from the specialist, before we could leave, but not before a x ray to see the extent of the damage.

It was a bad fracture with a 5% chance of recovery, but he advised that she might not make it even then and said it would be better to send her peacfully from this world.

I stayed with her to the end, me and my wife have cried and cried, I feel sick with emotion sick with guilt, did i make the right chioce for Poppy, these things go over and over in your head.

Its a horrible feeling you have and I and my wife have because everthing with a dog is part of your life, but you're not going mad, you will get better over time,
You will never forget them but I promise you the pain will ease.

I know this because Three years ago another dog of mine called max died he was 10 so like Poppy it was not expected, so the grief was terrible, it took me about a year to feel better and three years on I still kiss him photo and think about him.

I loved me lovely funny little girl Poppy her death was unexpected and sudden and like a nightmare, tears are rolling down my face typing this a feel heartbroken.
But I like you are grieving and its a process you will have to go through, but you will come through it, its very very hard I know a thousand thoughts are racing through your head, and I would love Poppy to come walking in to the room.

I belive they pass on to a spiritual world and we see them one day, but even if you don't believe this, they are not in pain they loved you in this world as you adored them, we give them the best years we can, and somtimes that is cut short, life does give and sadly take away, we search for answers, and we ask why, for me it tells us that giving love to your dog or family is the best and good thing to do, and things like this make youe realise that life is so important, and for our dogs we give them all the love we can and I know you did.


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

So sorry for your sad loss, Poppy is out of harms way and has no pain now.

Your story makes me even more determined to close off our wall to stop our quite unelegant maddie leaping to see next doors schitzu even if it does draw comments from the dogs owner


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

So sorry for the loss of your Poppy.

You did the right thing for her at the end.

((((((((((((((Run free Poppy))))))))))))))))


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## Palerider957 (Oct 18, 2012)

I am so sorry for your loss. I absolutely believe you are getting great advice on this forum. You will never forget, but the pain will eventually ease. With time you will remember to good times you had with your beloved friend, and realize that all you did was out of love.

I think getting some grief counseling is a very reasonable step if you don't feel your pain easing over time, or if depression gets worse. 

If roles were reversed, how would you want your lost friend to feel about you? You would want them to remember the love you gave them, to always remember the good, but to eventually let the pain pass and life continue.....knowing you will eventually see each other again.


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## Guest (Nov 30, 2012)

Thanks so much for everyones kind words and telling me it will get easier , I have lost a dog before again a GSD same problem but she was older , I just feel me and my girl were cheated with the time we had two years is nothing in time and my OH has said many times it will be the best two years she could have asked for with us both showing the same amount off love and loyalty to each other , I started to heal when i had my foster boy Jack (GSD) as i was doing something good with the breed i have always loved , but all the emotions are coming back since he now got a forever home (yes i did cry when he left).

Just seem to think sometimes that i let my girl down if only i had picked up on something earlier would the outcome off been any different , could i off done more before she was in the pain she was and before the painkillers would off had no effect whatsoever (which they didnt and was 1 off the main reasons for me letting her go , could never off been selfish enough to off kept her alive just because i couldnt bear the thought off life without her ). 

I am absoloutly dreading christmas as there will be no presents for her under the xmas tree (never missed her at xmas time ) there will be no extra lot off xmas dinner for her (just used to give her abit off turkey , carrots and cpl off potatoes with bit off gravy xmas was the only time she ever got our food)
just feels like i have lost my best friend ever , my soul mate , my guardian . 

I know in time it will get easier it now been 10weeks and feels like a lifetime and still find it very difficult to come to terms with , although i can laugh at the things she used to do that were funny as she was abit off a joker at times i do keep telling myself that now she at rainbow bridge she is pain free and it is all i have ever wanted since i let her go , oh dear the floodgates are opening up again , i just glad she is pain free and that somehow , someday will be easier


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## fluid (Nov 26, 2012)

Lisa I too foster dogs, but I just want to talk about some of the points you've raised, the feelings of guilt the feeling of detatchment, sick feeling in your stomach the emptyness in your heart.

I and many others feel exactly the same, I feel alive but dead inside, but when you look at your life with your dog, so so much is tied up with her a walk to her fave park a vist to a relaltive her funny ways, how objects like a toy or blanket, suddenly become objects of great sadness.

I feel lucky that I have 2 dogs along with my wife to look after and care for and any dogs passing through us on their way to a permenant home.

You are doing great work and make no mistake you did the right thing in regard of letting her go, the last 2 dogs of mine died young Max 10 and Poppy 9, Poppy fractured her spine jumping of the bed, somthing she's done a thousand times,
but that day turned into a nightmare, we had to make that awfull choice
and I stayed with her to her last second of life.
I know we done the right thing 100%, but doubts do creep in, but that is normal, a thousand vets will tell you it was the right thing to do.

I took me about a year to feel better about max and even though Its brings it sadness to think about him you reflect more on the happy times, when max died I got blackie about 5 weeks later, mayby to soon but he came from a rescue center, it helped but 2 weeks into walking him, somthing spooked him, he ran from the woods heading towards a main road, all I was waiting for was the screech of tyres.

I ran after him, and for some reason, he had not crossed the road and turned left into a driveway, I knelt down a said blackie everthing is going to be alright, and from that day on he never ran off.

Blackie had come from a rescue organisation and to this day we are part of that organisation, as foster carers, I said to my wife after Poppy I could not face this ever again so when Blackie and Zowie go that will be it, she said I coudn't see life without dogs, and she's right we give them the best lives we can, foster ones our own dogs now and in the future, but what we have to face up to is this, if we compare a dog to our own child, our children will have to deal with our death.

Dogs of course have a lifespan of 15 16 years and through accidents, cancer half of that, somtimes less, so in effect we are putting ourselves in a postion where we will have to face the agony of death, but would you or I have it any other way, as one foster carer said, we take the pain for them.

At the moment you feel your in a black tunnel, but one day there will be a pinprick of light, that light will grow and grow intill you emerge from the blackness into light.


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

You DID do right by her, it's just a natural stage of grief to question and doubt the decisions you made.

And yes, Christmas will be hard, same as the first Christmas after the loss of any family member. Perhaps you can do something in her memory -a photo pride of place, a donation of some food or toys to a local rescue or GSD rescue.

No one can possibly replace Kira, but will you be fostering over Christmas? That might help a little.


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## Guest (Dec 3, 2012)

Summersky said:


> You DID do right by her, it's just a natural stage of grief to question and doubt the decisions you made.
> 
> And yes, Christmas will be hard, same as the first Christmas after the loss of any family member. Perhaps you can do something in her memory -a photo pride of place, a donation of some food or toys to a local rescue or GSD rescue.
> 
> No one can possibly replace Kira, but will you be fostering over Christmas? That might help a little.


Hi , we are hoping to be able to get a foster dog in for xmas ,it just depends if the rescue centre we foster for need us to take in a foster dog , will just have to wait to see if we get a call , we did have a lovely poem done for our girl kira it was a memorial (indoor) it done on photo card and has her name and her picture on one side and then her poem we still need to get it framed which i am going to get this week


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

That sounds lovely.

Take care.


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## Guest (Dec 3, 2012)

Summersky said:


> That sounds lovely.
> 
> Take care.


thanks take care too


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## mum to 14 kitties (Oct 31, 2012)

For what its worth Lisa and Fluid and anyone else in your position, I think you are amazing!! You put your feelings last to help those who need you and that is something only the strongest, most dedicated people can do. I rescue, but have not got the strength to let them go hence 14 cats, 3 horses and a sadly lost rat last summer. I lost brothers Pugsley and Murphy (kittens I rescued before they opened their eyes) 2 years ago at 6 years old and still miss them dreadfully, they will always be a part of the family and never forgotten.

Whether you believe or not, I had a session with a Reki master a couple of weeks ago who identified a cat (Murph by description) as my spirit guide so I know when I feel him he is truely with me. You make such a difference to the lives of our furry friends and accept the occassional heart ache that goes with it. Please dont doubt yourselves, love sometimes makes the hardest decisions for us.

Mandy. xxx


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2012)

mum to 14 kitties said:


> For what its worth Lisa and Fluid and anyone else in your position, I think you are amazing!! You put your feelings last to help those who need you and that is something only the strongest, most dedicated people can do. I rescue, but have not got the strength to let them go hence 14 cats, 3 horses and a sadly lost rat last summer. I lost brothers Pugsley and Murphy (kittens I rescued before they opened their eyes) 2 years ago at 6 years old and still miss them dreadfully, they will always be a part of the family and never forgotten.
> 
> Whether you believe or not, I had a session with a Reki master a couple of weeks ago who identified a cat (Murph by description) as my spirit guide so I know when I feel him he is truely with me. You make such a difference to the lives of our furry friends and accept the occassional heart ache that goes with it. Please dont doubt yourselves, love sometimes makes the hardest decisions for us.
> 
> Mandy. xxx


Hi Mandy thanks for post , letting my foster boy Jack go was very hard , cried as he left us and he was only with me a week , had i not had to make the decision to have my princess kira pts there is no way i would off been able to foster an older dog , she would not off taken very well to another dog trying to become top dog (she was incredibly dominant my OH can vouch for that when he came into our lives but she was looking out for her family ) . But saying that she took amazingly well to the fox red lab puppy my OH and I got she loved him to bits , I plan to get another shepherd and am hoping it will be from a rescue , been a fosterer is something I do for my love off the breed and i genuinely feel she unselfishly gave her life up so we could help less fortunate dogs than herself (i have to think that or i cant come to terms with losing her at such a young age ) i cant let the heartache off losing her be for no reason so what better reason than helping dogs in need , it doesnt make losing my girl any less painful guess it just keeps my mind busy as become down in the dumps again since foster boy has gone , have never been without a GSD in my life always had one since i was 6yr old , Keep telling myself it better to off loved and lost her than never to off loved and known such an amazingly loving and loyal dog that she was , she adored me as much as i adored her and she will always be my best friend and my princess girl , the devastion she has left behind in my heart is hard to bear but it good to know that what i feel is perfectly normal and i cant wait to eventually be able to think off her and no longer have tears pouring out some days i can handle thinking off her and all i remember is the laughs with some off her quirks and silliness and other days i just long for her back home , but what is more important to me is that she no longer suffering and that means more to me than anything else .
Have put photo off our foster boy Jack (who now has left us and our lovely fox red lab Floyd )


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## fluid (Nov 26, 2012)

mum to 14 kitties said:


> For what its worth Lisa and Fluid and anyone else in your position, I think you are amazing!! You put your feelings last to help those who need you and that is something only the strongest, most dedicated people can do. I rescue, but have not got the strength to let them go hence 14 cats, 3 horses and a sadly lost rat last summer. I lost brothers Pugsley and Murphy (kittens I rescued before they opened their eyes) 2 years ago at 6 years old and still miss them dreadfully, they will always be a part of the family and never forgotten.
> 
> Whether you believe or not, I had a session with a Reki master a couple of weeks ago who identified a cat (Murph by description) as my spirit guide so I know when I feel him he is truely with me. You make such a difference to the lives of our furry friends and accept the occassional heart ache that goes with it. Please dont doubt yourselves, love sometimes makes the hardest decisions for us.
> 
> Mandy. xxx


Thank you Mandy my real is Clive god knows where fluid came from, I can let go of the rescues because I know they are going on to loving owners the rescue center I use makes sure the new owners are suitable.

Also some of the rescues are facing being PTS so they are a priority and to see them from deaths door to a new owner is great, I don't doubt myself and never will and as for strength well, my dog Blackie came from a rescue center, its how I got involved with fourpaws, Blackie was a frightened collie who lived on a farm owner died then he was taken into kennels.

from the kennels Blackie was rescued by fourpaws, I for the first time went on their web site saw Blackie and applied for him.
He was very insucure but over the weeks his convidence grew, but somthing happened that i'll never forget , I was out walking with him, we were quite far into the woods, I thought he was ready to come of the lead.

He turned and ran. heading straight for the road, I was running after him expecting the worse, I got to the road and blackie had turned left into a driveway and was cowering down, I knelt down and looked him in the eye and said, Blackie everthing is going to be all right, from that day on he never ran off.

Blackie is a happy 5 yr old collie and is right by my side as I type, through Blackie, me and my wife became involved in the charity, so I see him as a little miricle, that day he knew he was safe, all you can do is give a dog or any other animal love and attention, they understand that and it makes them happy, its dogs like blackie that give me the strength and I would urge anyone to get a dog from rescue or the dog pound.


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## Davejc1 (Nov 23, 2012)

"If it should be I grow frail and weak, and pain should keep me from my sleep, then will you do what must be done, for this--my last battle---cant be won.

Not my words, but some it up perfectly. 

Ben, my gsd/great Dane cross(big boy!) was pts nine years ago gone July. 
I still weep uncontrollably at least once a week. But then I've been told I'm soft.
I cry at the Stallone film daylight, where they have to leave the dog behind inthe tunnel ....
It is the worst/hardest/most horrible, guilt ridden decision a pet owner has to make. But as someone's vet told them, if you are thinking it could be time, it almost certainly is.


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## Guest (Dec 6, 2012)

Davejc1 said:


> "If it should be I grow frail and weak, and pain should keep me from my sleep, then will you do what must be done, for this--my last battle---cant be won.
> 
> Not my words, but some it up perfectly.
> 
> ...


Hi Davejc1 , thanks for post , I have that if it should be poem on the front off my girls cremation card and her personalised indoor memorial it makes me cry when i read it . Have heard what that persons vet said before too and it is true i would cry at that film as well you should see me when i watch eight below my 12 yr old son calls me rotten for the amount off times i cry watching it . I wouldnt call you soft because you still cry over your ben , a dog is a member off the family and they deserve to be treated that way , i think we find it so hard as we do love them so much and for them to no longer be there , no longer greeting us when we come home , not there when we wake in the morning or go to sleep at night . 
Maybe having to make the decision to put my girl to sleep has made the grief harder to cope with for me , as it was my decision to let her go and have a pain free life at rainbow bridge and i am beginning to think its guilt over that decision (even though it the right decision - vet fully backed my decision and said he would be doing the same if she had been his girl) . I truly hope i never have to make a decision like that again as you said its the worst and horribilist decision you have to make just dont want to ever have to do it again , my OH has always said emotionally i am a strong person but i dont think i am that strong emotionally and he said he cant believe i would fall apart the way i have over her as he has never seen me so devasted but i keep trying to stay strong but like you sometimes i just cant control the tears and cant stop them from coming no matter how much i try to fight it .


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## Davejc1 (Nov 23, 2012)

Eight below? I ll see your eight below and raise you a turner and hooch followed by a K-9!!!! I cried at all of them. 
Drug dealers, robbers and murderers I can deal with. Only time I've had to be physically restrained at work was with an RSPCA case.....how are you getting on with your adopted-step-god-dog-in-law (twice removed)? Is he keeping you busy?


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