# Re-homing dates - advice needed pls :)



## mollyjester (Dec 7, 2014)

Hey

I am not a breeder but actually the adopter and I need some advice. As the advice relates to the adoption date I thought asking some breeders may be the best idea as you may be able to give me some advice/prospective. 

Anyway, we have sourced, met, played with and revisited a kitten several times and are smitten (no pun intended) and subsequently paid a non-refundable deposit to secure said kitten.

At the time of paying the deposit we were given an adoption date of 18 December (the kitten was born around 27-28 September). 

During our last visit the breeder advised us that the date now had to be pushed back to at least the 23 December because of a delay with the first injections. She then mentioned how she was going to struggle to let the kittens go and how difficult she was finding it. Before we left the date had changed to 24 December because she wanted to keep an eye on the kittens after their injections. 

That close to Christmas would be difficult at the best of times but due to a family member being diagnosed with a terminal illness our fairly quiet Christmas has now become much busier and we have family staying that week. This would have been OK if the date had remained around the 18th and it would have given the kitten some time to settle in and get to know us before anyone else arrived.

I now have major anxiety about whats best to do. I spoke to the breeder to voice some difficulty but she simply said she would just keep the kitten over the whole of the Christmas and New Year period. The kitten will already be coming up to 13 weeks before Christmas so if we did that she would be nearly 16 weeks before we brought her home. I understand from books etc that from 13 weeks is the time kittens bond with their human and I really don't want to loose that time.

My husband has suggested that we ask our vet (we have used him for 20+ years so have complete faith) to do the second vaccination and microchip her at our cost rather than the breeders on the proviso that we pick kitty up on the 18th.

I spoke to the Vet and he is happy to do this and will even send proof and can contact the breeders vet to coordinate (if required). I am just really anxious that if I ask the breeder is just going to say 'no' and keep the kitten. She really has us cornered.

Am I being too anxious - is there are reason that would make her refuse our suggestion? Is there anything I can do? 

Any advice would be much appreciated. It is getting to the point where we may have to walk away but we have spent so much time with the kitten and she is such a sweetie I really can't


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

I would want my vet to do both vaccinations and the chip and I think the kitten will be 13 weeks on the 28 Dec. The sensitive period for kittens is over well before that and my advice would be to wait until the household is back to normal. You don't say when that is.


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## havoc (Dec 8, 2008)

I wouldn't let a kitten go before it had completed a full course of vaccinations and spent another few days with me to check all is well, the GCCF recommendation is a clear seven days. Your breeder is following the rules and recommendations of the GCCF. I understand your frustration but one kitten in a litter with a slightly upset tum at just the wrong time means delaying vaccinations for the lot. Everything you've said this breeder is doing is exactly what I'd do and just like her, if the revised date doesn't suit the buyer I'd offer to hold the kitten until they're ready. There's nothing untoward in the breeder's behaviour I can see in your post, they're doing everything right. 

And adding, it wouldn't be at all unusual for a breeder to say how hard it will be to let kittens go. We fall in love with all our kittens, I've probably said so to 90% of my kitten buyers in conversation and not one of them hasn't got their kitten


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## spotty cats (Jul 24, 2012)

16 weeks isn't too old, several smaller breeds don't leave until 15-16 weeks as they're not heavy enough to be neutered before that age. It's really not a problem at all.

And as others have posted it sounds like the breeder is doing the best for her kittens along with following protocols, nothing wrong with that.


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## moggie14 (Sep 11, 2013)

Hi and welcome 
Your kitten is 12 weeks old on 20th December. If he had his second set of jabs on that day then he would need to stay with the breeder until at least 27th December. Depending on when your guests leave could you arrange to pick him up between Christmas and New Year?
The breeder has got her dates mixed up or wrong by mistake I think and this has made you suspicious which is understandable, but I don't think there is anything untoward going on


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## alixtaylor (Jan 24, 2013)

Though I agree that the breeder is acting correctly in waiting until after the vaccinations etc, surely they would have known the potential adoption date would be later than the 18th December? There seems to be no reason behind the delay of the vaccinations and even if it was given on time, the actual leave date wouldn't be until at least the 27th-28th December. 

Definitely don't worry about taking home at 16 weeks this shouldn't be a problem in regards to socialising. However I understand this can be frustrating when you have made plans/booked time off work. If it is going to be busy in your house over the holidays then this may be a blessing in disguise.


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## havoc (Dec 8, 2008)

> surely they would have known the potential adoption date would be later than the 18th December?


We should always get it right. We should have calendars which span exactly the time from birth of a litter to thirteen weeks on one page so when we're counting weeks to put in the date of first vacs we never ever get it wrong. We shouldn't be shattered from concentrating on the welfare of cats and kittens. We should be machines but we're not.


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## alixtaylor (Jan 24, 2013)

havoc said:


> We should always get it right. We should have calendars which span exactly the time from birth of a litter to thirteen weeks on one page so when we're counting weeks to put in the date of first vacs we never ever get it wrong. We shouldn't be shattered from concentrating on the welfare of cats and kittens. We should be machines but we're not.


I'm not sure this was necessary. I understand mistakes can be made and that the welfare of cats is priority and I'm not suggesting they should take the kitten any earlier. However a 10 day difference can have a big impact on the buyer when they have put plans in place and it can be difficult to move time booked off work etc at late notice.


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## havoc (Dec 8, 2008)

> However a 10 day difference can have a big impact on the buyer when they have put plans in place and it can be difficult to move time booked off work etc at late notice.


Any date a breeder gives can only be provisional, especially prior to first vaccinations but at any time. I'd delay pickup the day before if a kitten even looked a bit off colour - something as simple as not being overly keen to eat one meal. A buyer would be quick enough to complain if a breeder had let them have a kitten which wasn't 100% - and rightly so.


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## MCWillow (Aug 26, 2011)

My last 2 kittens were over 16 weeks when I got them home. They have bonded with us no problem at all


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## mollyjester (Dec 7, 2014)

Thanks all who replied. 

Firstly we are spaying the kitten ourselves at six months, neither us or the breeder agree with a 4 month spay. Our vet has confirmed this with the breeder and agreed to write to her when the spay is completed.

Secondly - my question was never an attempt to obstruct the welfare of the kitten but as someone who is very experienced with cats and kittens I cannot see the difference between me keeping an eye on the kitten after the final injections and the breeder? At least with me the kitten will be within the family areas which it isn't at the moment.

I don't have much experience with pedigrees which is why I asked a breeders opinion and as there are guidelines in place it helps to explain the situation a little better but 7 days after an injection seems silly to me.

As someone rightly pointed out the issue is the changing of the dates. I understand that mistakes happen and dates change but the way its been communicated hasn't been great and moreover its Christmas. Aside from the family drama etc it is impossible to change leave dates at the last minute and as I work from home I had agreed to work from 22-24 and had booked the 18-22 December off. I am struggling to move this now.

It's a shame as if I was told from the outset I would have to wait until January I probably wouldn't have proceeded as I don't want a 16 week old kitten. I want to bond with it and I want it to settle into our routines. As foot note the cat is definitely not a small breed (Ragdoll). :001_wub:


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## Zephodi (Jul 2, 2014)

I can't help with any of the other stuff, but wanted to chip in and agree with MCWillow; my youngest cat was over 17 weeks old when we got him. His 'original' rehoming date would have been a week and a half before our holiday. While at first I was a bit disappointed that we wouldn't have him straight away at 13 weeks, we agreed that it wasn't fair to take him right before, just to have to put him in the cattery along with our eldest (which I think would have led to a variety of settling issues with both). We decided to wait until after we got back, also to give Odi some time to readjust after his first time away from home.

Now Zephyr is even more cuddly than Odi and he has bonded with us really well. I do believe waiting until the household is more settled is a better choice, as the age of a kitten or cat has nothing to do with their ability to bond with you. 
I completely understand being miffed about the dates being changed and with it being the holiday season (I definitely would be if I had time booked off!). But to be honest (and I'm really sorry if this seems rude) at 16 or whatever weeks that is still the same kitten and it seems you're saying you wouldn't want it simply because of it's age, which I find really hard to understand if you want a pet to love


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

If you don't want a kitten that age tell the breeder and back out. You will probably lose your deposit but that's your choice. If someone backed out on me for that reason I'd refund their deposit once I'd sold the kitten.

You might not see a difference between you keeping an eye on the kitten after it's final vaccination and the breeder doing so, I do. You don't know the kitten plus it will be in a strange house. If it was subdued how would you know if it was behaving normally because it was in a strange place or abnormally because of a reaction? I also wouldn't want my kittens to leave unless I'm sure they are well.


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## oliviarussian (Sep 2, 2010)

Hopefully this babe will be part of your family for the next 15 years or so... Another couple of weeks is a drop in the ocean to the years of pleasure you will have together, I can understand your disappointment and inconvenience of having to change your plans but I would much rather be getting a kitten from a breeder who is going by the rules and doing the best by her kittens ensuring they are fit and healthy after their vaccinations before they go to their new family!


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## gskinner123 (Mar 10, 2010)

mollyjester said:


> Thanks all who replied.
> 
> I don't have much experience with pedigrees which is why I asked a breeders opinion and as there are guidelines in place it helps to explain the situation a little better but 7 days after an injection seems silly to me.
> 
> ...


It would seem such a shame to back out of having this kitten for the sake of a couple of weeks. Despite the unfortunate error over dates, the breeder sounds excellent when there are so many these days who seek to cut corners and want to be shot of kittens at the earliest opportunity.

Most of my kittens leave for their new homes at around 13 weeks and often a week or so later due to a combination of things - maybe if I've not been able to vaccinate bang on 9 and 12 weeks old and then the new owners cannot collect their kitten on a specific weekend. I can honestly tell you that it will make no difference whatsoever when it comes to bonding with a kitten that is 13 weeks or several weeks older.


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## havoc (Dec 8, 2008)

> Secondly - my question was never an attempt to obstruct the welfare of the kitten but as someone who is very experienced with cats and kittens I cannot see the difference between me keeping an eye on the kitten after the final injections and the breeder?


This isn't something the breeder makes up. It is part of the GCCF Code of ethics. Presumably one of the reasons you have chosen a breeder who abides by these is because you want a properly registered, carefully reared kitten. Your breeder isn't being awkward. We don't have the choice of picking and choosing which bits we like or are convenient.


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## moggie14 (Sep 11, 2013)

If I understand correctly, your kitten will be 14 weeks old on Saturday 3rd January - could you not collect her that weekend?
If I had fallen in love with a particular kitten it wouldn't bother me waiting until then


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## messyhearts (Feb 6, 2009)

TBH if you came to me & said what you said here you'd get your deposit back & no kitten. If the 13-16 week period outweighs the rest of the kitten's lifespan when taking a kitten of mine then I'd have very strong reservations about letting them go to that home whatsoever.


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## lisajjl1 (Jun 23, 2010)

messyhearts said:


> TBH if you came to me & said what you said here you'd get your deposit back & no kitten. If the 13-16 week period outweighs the rest of the kitten's lifespan when taking a kitten of mine then I'd have very strong reservations about letting them go to that home whatsoever.


TBH I actually had very similar thoughts when reading through this thread - kittens are ready to leave when they really are ready to leave and sometimes dates just do have to change.

I think maybe sometimes new families don't realise how incredibly stressful and traumatic it is for a kitten to leave its Mum, siblings and birth home...mine leave when I feel they are ready, usually its 13 weeks, sometimes 14/15 weeks or older.

They all stay for at least a week after second vaccination - even though I have never had a kitten have a systemic reaction to a vaccine I have had injection site issues come up after a few days which have needed further treatment and that's just one complication of many possibilities, some far worse - think we have all heard the worst case scenarios.

I currently have a kitten who was born early and had several setbacks early on, although he is now on an even keel he is still smaller than I would have liked and so I have decided to delay his vaccinations until 12 and 15 weeks and he will be expected to leave us at 16 weeks providing all is well.....later if its not! His new family have no issue with this at all, neither would they have an issue with him staying longer if I felt in his best interests.

I am afraid if I was asked to let a kitten leave after first vaccination and without the second vaccination and health check I would be worried about the buyers priorities.


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## MCWillow (Aug 26, 2011)

mollyjester said:


> Thanks all who replied.
> 
> Firstly we are spaying the kitten ourselves at six months, neither us or the breeder agree with a 4 month spay. Our vet has confirmed this with the breeder and agreed to write to her when the spay is completed.
> 
> ...


I cant see why a couple of extra weeks and the size of the breed come into it to be honest.

My youngest two, came to me after they were 16 weeks old. They are now 2.5 yrs old. They are Ragamuffins - Cedar is over 8kg, and Blossom 7kg (if weight matters).

Out of my 5 cats, those two are the cuddliest, the most likely to snuggle on your lap, and very much orientated towards the two legged creatures they share their lives with.

I really don't see your problem


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Bringing a kitten home during a holiday isn't the best timing anyway. How can you pay proper attention to the new little one during all the other stuff going on? I'm surprised the breeder was willing to let the kitten go on the 18th, and I am glad it's now been delayed until after the holidays. _For the kitten's sake_ it is better to bring the baby home when all is quite and peaceful.

No trees, decorations, or company. Just the family, calm and safe, while kitten gets settled.

I also don't understand your problem with a week or two difference in age, but everyone has their own preferences. If that's such a big deal to you, I agree you should back out of the contract and look elsewhere.


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## mollyjester (Dec 7, 2014)

lorilu said:


> Bringing a kitten home during a holiday isn't the best timing anyway. How can you pay proper attention to the new little one during all the other stuff going on? I'm surprised the breeder was willing to let the kitten go on the 18th, and I am glad it's now been delayed until after the holidays. _For the kitten's sake_ it is better to bring the baby home when all is quite and peaceful.
> 
> No trees, decorations, or company. Just the family, calm and safe, while kitten gets settled.
> 
> I also don't understand your problem with a week or two difference in age, but everyone has their own preferences. If that's such a big deal to you, I agree you should back out of the contract and look elsewhere.


It hasn't been delayed until after the holiday? Also if the kitten is here over the holidays it will have MORE attention as we work (although I am semi-retired now) and have the 2 1/2 weeks over Christmas and new year off. :confused1:


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## mollyjester (Dec 7, 2014)

Thanks again everyone for the CONSTRUCTIVE advice.

Let me be CLEAR - from the outset of this thread I said I was attached to the kitten and I had taken several hours out over the last several weeks to go and see the kitten and spend time with it. Backing away wasn't something that I said was going to necessarily happen I expressed my frustration because of the date change - had it not been over Christmas perhaps the dates wouldn't have mattered so much. I also said that IF from the start I had been told I would get a 16 week old kitten I wouldn't have gone ahead - this was not me saying I am washing my hands of it and will be demanding my deposit back - don't assume - it makes an ass of me and u! 

It was good to hear from those who had adopted older kitten and that things had worked out OK - it has been really reassuring and I am sure when the kitten is ready and comes home everything will be fine. I am a worrier hence the reason for the thread but only because I do actually care. The implication from anyone on here that I don't is plain rude. I asked the question because I was worried, frustrated and didn't have the prospective a breeder would have.

The concerns about age were born from the fact I have rescued and fostered kittens all of my life so every cat I have had so far I have had from 3-6 weeks old and often hand reared. They were very bonded, excellent cats. Obviously its not the ideal but for that reason, I perhaps wrongly, thought it was best to get the kitten at 13 weeks rather than 16...just my view, perhaps naive. In my many years of having kittens I have vaccinated them, spayed/neutered them and have done just fine - the pedigree way of doing things is a nuance to me. 

Thank you once again for all the constructive and positive advice, its a shame some chose to see this as a negative rather than a chance to inform. :thumbup:


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## spotty cats (Jul 24, 2012)

MCWillow said:


> I cant see why a couple of extra weeks and the size of the breed come into it to be honest.


I had mentioned in my reply it's common for smaller breeds here to leave later as they don't weigh enough at 10-12 weeks to be neutered, nothing to do with the OP's kitten just pointing out the added time makes no difference.
My Singapura didn't arrive until 16 weeks and he settled just fine.



mollyjester said:


> Firstly we are spaying the kitten ourselves at six months, neither us or the breeder agree with a 4 month spay.


There's nothing wrong with early neutering, and it's better to get it done before the first heat cycle. Early neutering (from 1kg/8 weeks) has been done for decades outside the UK, and the UK is slowly beginning to catch up.


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## VeeVee (Mar 24, 2014)

i think the bonding with humans is strong as long as cats have had human contact since teeny which your kitten has and seems to be having lots of love from the breeder which should result in a balanced happy cat :thumbup:

I have adult rescue cats and I can assure you that you bond with a cat at any age, personality etc. as long as you are willing to put some effort into the relationship. There is no perfect age to adopt. 

Any chance you can postpone a few days leave and take them after New year?


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## chloe1975 (Mar 17, 2013)

I can see this from both sides. My first pedigree pet I bought was delayed by a couple of weeks and I was so frustrated as I was so excited to bring her home. But the breeder had been ill and the vaccinations were delayed. But at the end of the day I really wanted that kitten, I had my heart set on her and I was travelling a long way to pick her up so another couple of weeks really wasn't a big issue in the long term.

However now I am on the other side as a breeder I now know how easy it is for things to get delayed. There can be a delay in vaccinations for a variety of reasons or a vaccination reaction can cause delays. There are also occasions when I have held back a kitten for a couple of weeks as I have felt they aren't ready to leave mum (you know when they are ready). I have been lucky I suppose, I make sure at the start that new owners realise that kitten collection dates are provisional and can change. I expect new slaves to accept that this is a live animal and therefore things change. However I am also very flexible with people in terms of their collection. I will often hold kittens back for weeks because new owners have holidays etc. I even kept a kitten for 5 months because the owner had fallen in love with her but knew they couldn't take her yet as they were getting married and moving house and didn't want the kitten to be stressed which was fine and by the time they collected her (which was incredibly hard for us) they decided to take a friend for her as well.

I also would be worried about taking a kitten over the Christmas period. I personally don't allow kittens to leave from the 15th of December until the new year (except in exceptional circumstances) as moving to a new home is stressful for a kitten and I want the best for them. That is my choice as a breeder. But I take your point about taking time off. I try to plan litters to ensure that there are no kittens ready to leave in December. I have had a dozen or so calls over the last couple of weeks asking if I have any kittens 'ready for Christmas'.

Hopefully you will sort it out and in a few weeks you will bring your kitten home and you will soon forget about having to wait a bit longer once they are home and you have the next hopefully 15 years together.


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## havoc (Dec 8, 2008)

I'm one who would return a deposit if they'd paid one and suggest the buyer went elsewhere. Nobody has ever tried it with me but I have been asked for advice occasionally by novice breeders and I've always told them to ditch the buyer.


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

mollyjester said:


> Thanks all who replied.
> 
> Firstly we are spaying the kitten ourselves at six months, neither us or the breeder agree with a 4 month spay. Our vet has confirmed this with the breeder and agreed to write to her when the spay is completed.
> 
> <snip>


Not sure why you don't agree with spaying before 6 months. I'm assuming a Ragdoll isn't (usually) an early maturing breed, so at 4 or 6 months you would be spaying before her first call. It's desirable to do so, it minimises her chances of breast cancer later in life, plus in any breed some kittens start calling exceptionally young which can be a shocking experience for their owners especially if they are cats that spray & pee when in call...

I do accept you wouldn't want a vet to do a 4-month spay as a favour. I wouldn't either. My own kittens are neutered a few days after their 12-week vaccination by a vet who regularly neuters kittens from as early as 8 weeks for a local rescue, and who has had years of practise at the special demands it places. All my kittens have bounced right back.


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## Taylorbaby (Jan 10, 2009)

mollyjester said:


> Thanks all who replied.
> 
> Firstly we are spaying the kitten ourselves at six months, neither us or the breeder agree with a 4 month spay. Our vet has confirmed this with the breeder and agreed to write to her when the spay is completed.
> 
> ...


What a shame she doesn't believe in EN  The difference between a 4 - 6 month old kitten is nothing, maybe a bit bigger in size, that's pretty much it, if its a size issue. The kittens have less drugs used on them, recover SO quickly, 2 hours for my recent litter, recover with littermates and mum in their home 

13 weeks / 16weeks, Im not sure where you are getting the dates from as someone said the kittens is 12weeks on dec 18th? Why cant she leave for another 4weeks?

Kittens are ready when they are ready, vets change protocols on vaccinations, Ive turned up with a litter of 6 only to be told, I need to wait another week... Also then to be told my vet wont vaccinate on a Friday anymore! Just one of those things.

Breeders have to keep kittens after their 2nd vac, say you take him and the kitten gets ill? Who gets the blame? For the sake of another few days...



messyhearts said:


> TBH if you came to me & said what you said here you'd get your deposit back & no kitten. If the 13-16 week period outweighs the rest of the kitten's lifespan when taking a kitten of mine then I'd have very strong reservations about letting them go to that home whatsoever.


I did this last year, something happened totally out of my control, needed to keep kitten for another 7days, deposit was refunded asap after I spoke to the new owner, wont mention what was said!! Vvery glad it happened kitten went to a amazing owner instead!



lorilu said:


> Bringing a kitten home during a holiday isn't the best timing anyway. How can you pay proper attention to the new little one during all the other stuff going on? I'm surprised the breeder was willing to let the kitten go on the 18th, and I am glad it's now been delayed until after the holidays. _For the kitten's sake_ it is better to bring the baby home when all is quite and peaceful.
> 
> No trees, decorations, or company. Just the family, calm and safe, while kitten gets settled.
> 
> I also don't understand your problem with a week or two difference in age, but everyone has their own preferences. If that's such a big deal to you, I agree you should back out of the contract and look elsewhere.


Why not? Not everyone celebrates Christmas, not everyone has a big family and party over Christmas life style, some people just do nothing and treat it as another day and then they get a holiday off, so it can be a good time to have kittens home 



havoc said:


> We should always get it right. We should have calendars which span exactly the time from birth of a litter to thirteen weeks on one page so when we're counting weeks to put in the date of first vacs we never ever get it wrong. We shouldn't be shattered from concentrating on the welfare of cats and kittens. We should be machines but we're not.


Some people looking for kittens don't seem to realise anything! I got back to a lady on the 24th nov, she replied to me on the 6th dec saying she liked the kitten, I though that's lovely but he has a home... Did she think I was sitting there waiting for her reply all that time?? :confused1:

Ive been so ill and totally forgot the date my litter was born, It wasn't until a kitten owner asked to view them that I checked my dates, I really don't know where the time goes, but it was visiting time! I was thinking I had weeks left


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## Bluefluffybirmans (Jun 9, 2014)

My two had runny tummys so my initial meeting them was delayed, even that I was gutted at having been waiting for them months before they were even born (waiting list) but I loved that I'd picked such a responsible breeder, she wouldn't let me visit until they were perfectly healthy and then after they were better and all injections done my husband's week off was delayed so I got them a bit later then expected. Not quite the same obviously but I can understand your excitement!

However your kitten will bond to all of you just fine and it will be so much better and easier without the Christmas chaos! 

While I think early neutering is a very good thing, my vets around here wouldn't do it, mine were done at six months and flew though the operation, chasing each other like loons by that evening, you're meant to keep them still how?


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## mollyjester (Dec 7, 2014)

:mad2: I am not sure why a few people are all for the breeder to throw my deposit back in my face. I have said several times that I was asking advice about whether I should even have a discussion about the adoption date, I have taken the advice given with thanks and will wait. I have managed to rejig a few things including family and work and all of this was with the kitten's welfare in mind so please don't think I am a bad potential owner - that is very far from the truth.

I can understand why some breeders would be cautious about Christmas adoptions and of course the whole kitten as a present thing, that isn't the case with us and the timing was coincidence as we had been looking for the right kitten for a while. I don't think no adoptions past 15 December is necessary (but to each their own) I would probably exercise discretion if it were me. 

Thank you again for the helpful comments. I agree with Bluefluffybirmans and would say that while it is disappointing I would be more understanding of the situation if it was something like poorly tummies or issues with feeding as I except its a case of cat and breeder mum knows best there. :thumbup: But I do take on board that dates change and vets appointments can be problematic especially with a litter of 8 (which this breeder is handling).

In regard to the spay I have always tried to catch them as early as possible due to the cancer benefits but our vet still likes them to get a bit bigger before he will do it. He tends to go by size rather than age these days. My last 2 had theirs done somewhere around six months but as we weren't entirely sure of their ages it was difficult to know. 

I will take the kitten for a check up with my vet when she arrives anyway - it was already booked but I've had to cancel due to the take move but when we get there I will take his advice on when she should be spayed. I would guess that as she is a larger breed an earlier spay is quite likely.

I didn't ask the breeder especially why she disliked the 4 months spay but she mentioned liking them to be a bit bigger too.


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

People are only suggesting the breeder return your deposit (not 'throw it in your face' - over-emotive phrase IMHO) if you decide not to go ahead with the kitten on the new dates.


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## havoc (Dec 8, 2008)

> I am not sure why a few people are all for the breeder to throw my deposit back in my face.


Your breeder will do as she chooses. Some of us have said what we would do. You have discussed this with your vet. You have come onto a forum to discuss it with strangers. The one person who seems to be left out of the discussion so far is the breeder. That strikes me as pretty weird. When my buyers choose a kitten it's the start of a long relationship based on trust and mutual interest. Money may change hands but my decisions over where my kittens go are far from commercial. If a potential new owner isn't happy with my protocol while my kitten still belongs to me it's unlikely to turn into the ongoing relationship I'm used to and look for so I'd back out.


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## messyhearts (Feb 6, 2009)

You've asked for an opinion in the breeding section so breeders would consider it from the breeder perspective.

Based on your comments as I have never met you so don't know you, that would be my personal decision but your breeder will or should have a relationship with you to know you as a person better than 3 brief statements on a forum.

I stand by what I said though as that is my opinion & if I was the breeder it would be my kitten to make said decision. 

I don't think I am AT ALL being rude or unhelpful in telling you how a breeder MAY react given YOU are in this situation. You're entitled to dislike this advice/comment as if I put myself in your shoes & was thinking like you are I wouldn't be very happy to lose a kitten I had picked out.


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## Code (Sep 18, 2014)

As a new owner, not a breeder, I think if they are a bit older when you get them they will be just fine. The lovely breeder i found kept the boys an extra week (until 14 weeks) as I was away with work and preferred to take them when I had a couple of weeks off to settle them. They have bonded with us just fine and a few weeks later they are certainly bigger but the same young and sweet kittens who are cuddly, confident and happy to meet visitors and sit on any lap! I actually felt better/more confident taking them older, they had longer with their mum who was still feeding them, they were healthy and well grown, confident, personalities emerging, etc.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Taylorbaby said:


> W
> 
> Why not? Not everyone celebrates Christmas, not everyone has a big family and party over Christmas life style, some people just do nothing and treat it as another day and then they get a holiday off, so it can be a good time to have kittens home


Yes but this poster stated:



mollyjester said:


> Hey
> 
> *That close to Christmas would be difficult at the best of times but due to a family member being diagnosed with a terminal illness our fairly quiet Christmas has now become much busier and we have family staying that week. This would have been OK if the date had remained around the 18th and it would have given the kitten some time to settle in and get to know us before anyone else arrived*.
> 
> I now have major anxiety about whats best to do. * I spoke to the breeder to voice some difficulty but she simply said she would just keep the kitten over the whole of the Christmas and New Year period.* The kitten will already be coming up to 13 weeks before Christmas so if we did that she would be nearly 16 weeks before we brought her home. I understand from books etc that from 13 weeks is the time kittens bond with their human and I really don't want to loose that time.


I think the OP was being much too optimistic about the kitten's ability to "settle in" and be ready for a tumultuous household, even by planning on the 18th..

If I was buying a kitten and the breeder was looking out for the kitten's best interests, I'd be grateful, knowing I'd chosen a breeder who cares about the cats.

In addition if I were a breeder, I would not let any kittens go during holidays, unless I was sure it was someone like me, who does nothing for holidays but use the days to stay home and rest..

Many shelters will not do adoptions in December because pets as gifts are often impulse, and then the pet suffers. I realize a kitten purchase from a ethical breeder is not the same thing, but I think it's great the breeder is watching out for the kitten, first and foremost.


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## Bluefluffybirmans (Jun 9, 2014)

What happened OP, what did you decide to do?


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