# An Announcement....



## crofty (May 2, 2008)

Hi guys

I wanted to post here where i know people.

I am 7 weeks pregnant.... it wasnt planned my pill has failed, i have had a problem with a different pill in the past about 6 years ago but miscarried before i knew.

We made the decision to trust this pill but after two years I have fallen pregnant. My other half says its not the right time as his work is so stressful ( hes a surgeon) but i didnt feel i could go through an abortion... he tried to bully me to do it, went on a conference to america and said he'd move out when he got back if i was going to have the baby. He never contacted me once to ask if i was ok and has shown me no compassion what so ever.

So as he said he has moved out and left me.

I am going to have this baby, my family and friends cannot believe what he has done and are supporting me 100%.

This is why i havent been around much, im finding this very tough, i feel hurt and betrayed.


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## noushka05 (Mar 28, 2008)

how cruel of him! im so sorry Crofty....good luck with the baby im certain you wont regret your decision, and with the help and support of your family everything will be fine x


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2010)

crofty said:


> Hi guys
> 
> I wanted to post here where i know people.
> 
> ...


What a pathetic excuse of a man! Wishing you all the very best, and hoping all goes well for you and your baby! You must be absolutely gutted!

As for daddy! Hit him where it hurts, May sound not very symperthetic not maybe! but you can make him pay for thisfor a very very long time! He may be able to move out and 'forget' don't allow him that convenience!

Again, all the best!


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## snoopydo (Jan 19, 2010)

Bless you Thats so terrible..You are so lucky to have a supportive Family around you...Good on you for looking out for your Baby..Maybe in a few months your partner may regret his decision when the reality of being a father kicks in But then it will be too late for him..Can't believe he Bullied you to have an Abortion...It's HIM who will have to live with that.

Men like this really annoy me .. It takes 2 to make A baby but some men just walk away from their responsibitie's it's callous and cruel. Babie's do not ask to be conceived you should be really proud of your courage to go it alone.

You stick to your Guns you've made a brave move your baby is lucky to have such a lovely mum..He/She will know how his/her Dad walked out in a few years.....It will make you to even closer.

Keep us up to date with your pregnancy remember there's always someone here to talk to if you need to.

Stay Strong for yourself and your little one.


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## Kammie (Apr 4, 2009)

How horrible! If I were you and I know it will be hard but forget about him, you have your family around to support you and us lot on here to talk if need be. Even if he decides later on that after thinking about it he is ready and wants to come back I wouldn't take him, if he's like that he honestly isn't worth the time.

I got pregnant whilst on the pill as well to the point I just thought stress was messing my body up and was still taking the pill 12 weeks into the pregnancy before I even thought to do a test. 

Remember if you need to talk theres always one of us around.


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## Allana (Jul 7, 2010)

Oh Crofty what a horrible place to be in right now! :frown: 
Sending you lots of ((((HUGS)))). 

I cant believe your partner has done this to you, but you have already shown what a strong person you are by standing your ground on your decision to keep your baby. 

You will be a great mum and out of all this heartache you a bringing a wonderful little life into the world who will love you so much.


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## PembrokeMadhouse (May 18, 2009)

I have had my experiences of the medical profession. Surgeons are funny characters ... prima dona is a good word ... may be he will come around if he sees you are serious (that's if you want him to).

Other than that, I think there are a lot of single mums on this forum, me included, and we will all tell you it is the most rewarding and wonderful thing to have a child (although some days it may not feel like it).

It is his loss and your gain. Just make sure little one doesn't have too much of the prima dona in him! 

It's going to be hard but I am sure with support and us nutters on here, you will pull through. PM me if you want. 

Clare x


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## Ty-bo (Jun 27, 2009)

Havent been on here in ages but just want you to know my heart is with you.

Sounds like you and your little one are better off without that kind of selfish person in your life.

I wish you the very, very best for the future. You are truley amazing....

xxx


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## AmyCruick (Jul 20, 2009)

Oh crofty, I'm really sorry to hear about your partner moving out  Good on you for sticking to your guns though as you would have regreetd an abortion if that wasn't what you truly wanted.

You've got 3 men who I'm sure will help you along and keep you smiling (Joey, Dreamer and Teddy) and I'm sure Tink will be willing to lend a hand too!

You'll be a fab mum as your so caring and loving and I hope it all goes smoothly for you from here on in!

Good luck and keep us updated


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## Argent (Oct 18, 2009)

Couldn't just read this and not reply...I don't know you, but I'm so sorry about that coward bullying and leaving you like that. 

You're so lucky to have your family supporting you. My mum was a single mother when she had me, and my grandparents more than made up for it  Your baby will be just fine - keep us updated on the pregnancy, I love hearing about it X3 (can't wait to have my own!)


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## emzybabe (Jun 30, 2009)

Crofty this is so heartbreaking, I know you will be a fantastic mum. I am so sorry he is being so selfish, you deserve much better than this. We are all here for you and I know your family will be fantastic too. I know you have the strength and courage many dont to stand up for what you believe in. Life can be unkind and unpredictable but I'm sure this will be the best choice you ever make. *hugs*


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## Lollie1515 (Feb 9, 2010)

im so sorry to hear what that pathetic excuse of a man has done. made me well up. 

Be strong and keep your chin up love, we are all here for you.

Congratulations on your pregancy and keep up updated  xxxxxx


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

Aw I'm sorry  that's awful of him... Maybe he is using it as a scare tactic to make you feel like you should go through with a termination?? If he is and tries to come back, personally I'd tell him where to get off!!

Don't give in, that baby in your tum is worth a thousand of him... your going to experience a love that no man could ever compete with


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## jaxb05 (Apr 12, 2009)

Oh Crofty ((((hugs)))), I am so sorry that he has done this on you. What an ass! I am so glad that you have decided to have the baby and I am sure you won't regret it. It's really good that you have people around you who are willing to support you. Hope the pregnancy goes well. x
Jacqui x


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## frags (Feb 5, 2009)

Ive had better on the bottom of my shoe!

How can a man try to make you terminate your child?!!!

Hun your better of without him! Dont let him come and go as he pleases either.

You will do just fine, awwww Crofty is gonna be a mummy


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## niki87 (Nov 18, 2009)

Oh well firstly I would like to say how brave you are in keeping the baby! Thats very admirable!

What a poor excuse for a man. You and the baby are better off without him...he is a coward and you deserve better as you are obvoiously very strong in yourself!

I am glad your family are being very supportive! That will help! To be honest I had an easier job bringing up my little one on my own than my sis did with someone so I think you will be fine!

Finally congratulations!!! A baby is a real gift from above  :thumbup:


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2010)

Oh noo I'm sorry Crofty 

I know you are probably bored of hearing this but you are better off without him if he can't step up to the mark 

It sounds like you have a great support network behind you :thumbup:

Be strong hun [hugs]


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## CarolineH (Aug 4, 2009)

What a ratbag! :incazzato: Needless to say, you and your baby will be far better off without him and his stinky attitude.  You sound like you have a supportive family and that will be invaluable. My very best to you for the future.


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

Words fail me!!! What a complete and utter B*****D and a doctor at that  !! You are better off without a man with that sort of attitude.
Wishing you all the best Crofty. It's good that your family are happy to stand behind you and there'll be a new little Crofty bouncing around on a New Forest pony in the future


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## David C (Sep 6, 2010)

Crofty i dont know you and have not been on this forum very long but my heart goes out to you , you have had one misscarrige so please try and look after yourself and dont get to stressed out over this man as he obviously isnt worth crap doing this to you . You have your family and friends their to support you so turn to them and feel the love they have for you .

Good luck and G-d bless , David


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## angelblue (Aug 4, 2009)

so sorry to hear about the well what should we call him not a man anyway better of without him hun ,congrats on the pregnancy and plz look after yourself xx


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## blue butterfly (Jan 3, 2010)

Hey Crofty, I don't know you but I really think you are better off without that idiot now. How dare he try and push you into terminating your child, that is awful.

It's great that you have your family and friends for support.

Good luck with your pregnancy, take care of yourself, you're gonna be a fab mummy I'm sure.

Claire x x


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## crofty (May 2, 2008)

Thanks everyone

Im just trying to think positive and concentrate on baby and making sure i protect him/her. I know I am doing the right thing, just wish it hadnt worked out this way and wish id seen through him sooner, he had everyone fooled. xx


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## MissusMayhem (Aug 14, 2010)

crofty said:


> Hi guys
> 
> I wanted to post here where i know people.
> 
> ...


you can do it!! horrible man doesnt deserve what chance has given him! us women, we are stronger then we realise, good luck not that you will need it and hope all is well with the little one =]
mayhem xxx


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## Acacia86 (Dec 30, 2008)

Oh my god Crofty. I feel so so sorry for you, but you will be AMAZING. Stay strong and look after yourself, try not to get to stressed (i know its so much easier said than done)

You will do it and be so great at it, you will look back at the worry and laugh to yourself. Its does seem daunting at first but it really is amazing how you will just adjust. 

Thinking of you. xx


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2010)

Could not read this without commenting.

Men are strange creatures. If you want to keep the baby keep it, its your body and your ex isnt being very mature about it.

How long were you together?

It maybe a shock to him and he may come crawling back in a few weeks/months. But after that....I would just kick him in the bits and tell him to get stuffed. :001_cool:


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## crofty (May 2, 2008)

shetlandlover said:


> Could not read this without commenting.
> 
> Men are strange creatures. If you want to keep the baby keep it, its your body and your ex isnt being very mature about it.
> 
> ...


We were together 2 and half years and we'd talked about marriage and when we have babies. He just doesnt think its the right time, he wouldnt discuss anything he just moved out took half the furniture and hasnt contacted me since. He changed his status to single on facebook without warning me so i came online to loads of questions from people i wasnt ready to tell so flipped, i told everyone i was pregnant and that he's left me, he then threatened to do me for defamation of character!!!! So ive deleted all our mutual friends and am just cutting him out of my life, he's selfish and controlling.


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2010)

crofty said:


> We were together 2 and half years and we'd talked about marriage and when we have babies. He just doesnt think its the right time, he wouldnt discuss anything he just moved out took half the furniture and hasnt contacted me since. He changed his status to single on facebook without warning me so i came online to loads of questions from people i wasnt ready to tell so flipped, i told everyone i was pregnant and that he's left me, he then threatened to do me for defamation of character!!!! So ive deleted all our mutual friends and am just cutting him out of my life, he's selfish and controlling.


Oh sweety,

What a scum-bag, I'm so sorry you had to find out his real personality this way.

Sending huge hugs your way, hopefully now you can concentrate on what is important in your life....
Stay strong hun xxx


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## Lollie1515 (Feb 9, 2010)

seriously this bloke isn't worth the S**t on your shoe. what an complete ******************* haha! im so angry for you. I really wish you all the best. As i said we will all be supportive.

You go girl, you don't need that pathetic waste of space.

Hugs xxxx


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## RockRomantic (Apr 29, 2009)

crofty said:


> We were together 2 and half years and we'd talked about marriage and when we have babies. He just doesnt think its the right time, he wouldnt discuss anything he just moved out took half the furniture and hasnt contacted me since. He changed his status to single on facebook without warning me so i came online to loads of questions from people i wasnt ready to tell so flipped, i told everyone i was pregnant and that he's left me, he then threatened to do me for defamation of character!!!! So ive deleted all our mutual friends and am just cutting him out of my life, he's selfish and controlling.


he sounds like an absolute ****. your worth a million of a sorry excuse for a 'man' like him

Just concentrate on you and the little missy..or mister! 
Wishing you all the best xx


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## BooBooChick (Oct 5, 2010)

I am new to this site but i jut had to say that you are so so brave and my god that baby will have the best mummy  

God bless you for sticking to your guns. As for him - he aint worth the space he takes up on this planet !

Good luck to you and your baby - stay cool and relaxed and take the high road.

Enjoy your pregnancy as you don't get those days back again


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## jaxb05 (Apr 12, 2009)

What a total prat. That is such a disgusting thing to go onto facebook and say he is single. That is his baby you are carrying and he seems not to give a damn. Defamation of character - yeah right!! You have said nothing but the truth. What an idiot. I am so sorry Crofy - you must be feeling so hurt. Just try to stay strong.
Love, Jacqui x


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## niki87 (Nov 18, 2009)

crofty said:


> We were together 2 and half years and we'd talked about marriage and when we have babies. He just doesnt think its the right time, he wouldnt discuss anything he just moved out took half the furniture and hasnt contacted me since. He changed his status to single on facebook without warning me so i came online to loads of questions from people i wasnt ready to tell so flipped, i told everyone i was pregnant and that he's left me, he then threatened to do me for defamation of character!!!! So ive deleted all our mutual friends and am just cutting him out of my life, he's selfish and controlling.


As long as it is true I don't think you're under any legal threat! xx


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## Pudding (Oct 7, 2010)

How cruel of him! You will be better off without him.
It may seem hard right now, but you will be fine, you have your family 
Soon you will have someone who will love you no matter what.
And there is no reason why, if you want to, that you cannot find Mr new
Good luck......


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## emzybabe (Jun 30, 2009)

wow I dont think Ive heard of anything so selfish. Look after yourself Lara you deserve so much better and I'm sure you'll find a million men who want to be with you and have children with you, your stunning, very intelligent, and most importantly can stand up for anything you believe in. I am so proud of you for not backing down.


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

You and your baby are better off without him. Even if he does try to come back I wouldn't go near him but he should pay he is jointly responsible for the baby. You and the baby will be fine without him


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## umber (Feb 15, 2009)

Hey crofty not sure if my pm went through just to let you know my heart goes out to you! Like others have said I'm ao proud of you! Your an amazing person who deserves so much better than him! Enjoy the beautiful blessing and gift that has been given to you I know you will make a fantastic mummy! I'm here for u should u need anything!

Hugs and kisses

Xxx


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## AmyCruick (Jul 20, 2009)

Defamation of character?! He's defamated that himself by the sounds of it! 

It sounds like you're staying strong, its so difficult when you find out people aren't who you thought they were and sometimes you never figure out how or why they can behave the way they do. At least you did found out he wasn't who you thought before you were married and had wasted half your life with him. 

I'm sure you'll meet someone who treats you well and is everything you wanted and more, good luck and keep us updated.

Sending hugs your way - Alan and Lottie also sending hugs!!


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## lauren001 (Jun 30, 2008)

Although it is very sad that he is not standing by you and your baby, you are lucky in that you have found out about him before you wasted another second with him.
Moving out his furniture, not speaking to you and stating that he is single on Facebook, are not the actions of a man who is just a bit scared of commitment and is a bit "shocked".

I am sorry but I feel this is just an excuse to split up from you. He perhaps has been thinking this for a while and has just seized the opportunity as soon as you refused the termination. He may even have known that you would never terminate the baby before he made that demand, so you were always in a no win situation.

Surgeons do tend to be selfish, often very controlling people as their job demands so much from them and they love being in control.

I would run as fast as you can away from this man, his actions here are not a caring individual and if he does return you will always be left wondering if he is going to leave you whenever there is another "crisis". 
My advice would be, do not try and manufacture excuses for him, he has left you when you are at your most vulnerable and he obviously thinks in a very egocentric, selfish manner. So is that someone who you want to spend your life with? Pandering to *his* every need at the expense of your own needs or that of your children. 
Move forward with your baby and your family as they are the ones who truly care for you.


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## crofty (May 2, 2008)

lauren001 said:


> Although it is very sad that he is not standing by you and your baby, you are lucky in that you have found out about him before you wasted another second with him.
> Moving out his furniture, not speaking to you and stating that he is single on Facebook, are not the actions of a man who is just a bit scared of commitment and is a bit "shocked".
> 
> I am sorry but I feel this is just an excuse to split up from you. He perhaps has been thinking this for a while and has just seized the opportunity as soon as you refused the termination. He may even have known that you would never terminate the baby before he made that demand, so you were always in a no win situation.
> ...


He paid the rest of my loan off two weeks before this happened and now he wants the money back, if he wanted to split up then why would he do that? He'd tried to convince me to let him for ages as it all comes from the same pot he said and that he earnt more than me.


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## lauren001 (Jun 30, 2008)

> He paid the rest of my loan off two weeks before this happened and now he wants the money back, if he wanted to split up then why would he do that? He'd tried to convince me to let him for ages as it all comes from the same pot he said and that he earnt more than me.


Control perhaps.
By being beholden to him over the loan, he would have the upper hand over you. It may be because you will not "do as you are told" over terminating the pregnancy that he has now left.
I do not know, you are the best judge of your relationship, but IMO anyone that can walk away so totally from someone who is having their baby is not someone to base your future life and happiness around.


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## niki87 (Nov 18, 2009)

From the sound of him...I wouldn't put it past him to be doing all this to try and deliberately make you miscarry again.

I would tell him you will go through a third party but you do not want direct contact. Then if he persists you hav reason to get a restraining order. He has been warned.

You need to not to worry. Tip...go to Mothercare or somewhere...go buy some baby clothes! I used to just go through my collection of baby clothes  So teeny tiny!!!!!!!


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## emzybabe (Jun 30, 2009)

lol does he realise how much he'll have to pay in child benefits! I'm sure once he realizes how long term this is he'll at least stop being so petty. try to relax, I know its hard but take care of your self, sleep, eat and exercise well


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## crofty (May 2, 2008)

I think it is a control thing, he cant stand me disagreeing with him, he thinks he's always right.

Oh he isnt contacting me but he will again all he cares about is me giving him back the money he gave me. Im going to ignore hiom, if he wants to go to court then fine but i dont see how i will be made to pay back a gift and i cant afford to now, he's left me on my own pregnant to rent and pay bills on my own, i cant exactly get a lodger and dont want to the way things are.

Im just trying to stay as positive as i can, all this stress has made my mum poorly again too


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## billyboysmammy (Sep 12, 2009)

Forget about the loan, it was a gift, and the chances of the small claims going against you are slim to nil.

He will be the one worried about paying maintenance :lol:

You will get through this, i cant imagine going through pregnancy on your own, your a very brave person, but you will survive and realise you and your child will be better off without him xx


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## Paws&Claws (Aug 29, 2009)

How did i miss this?!
Aww Crofty i dont know what to say.. (without swearing anyway)

You are definately better off without him and karma has ways of making us see something that otherwise we wouldnt have seen. Unfortunately it looks like one of them times. Sending hugs to you and pm me if you need a rant or chat  xxx


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

A agree about the loan being as gift... he wont be getting that back!!!

Three little letters for you....... C....S....A 

The money he is on, you and your baby will be all good..


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## lizward (Feb 29, 2008)

Well, what a charmer. It reminds me of a letter I saw in a paper a couple of days ago, the partner had forced her to have one abortion which she had regretted ever since, they had children, then she fell pregnant again and he said she was being selfish for wanting to keep the baby, he promised to marry her if she had an abortion. She said she'd leave him if he tried to force her. Good for her, and good for you. It's supposed to be the WOMAN'S choice isn't it, so why does it seem that so often the one making the choice is actually a man who refuses to commit to the woman?

You stick to your guns. And as for the money, unless he has something in writing, he has no way to make you pay it back. Ignore any threats, ignore any solicitor's letters, ignore anything short of a County Court summons and if you get one of those, just turn up at court and say you dispute the facts. The onus is then on him to produce a contract which of course he will not have.

And make sure you get the CSA to chase him for child support too - don't forget he is obliged to pay that regardless of the fact that he is not married to you and regardless of the fact that he wants you to have an abortion (in fact my guess is that is precisely why he wants you to have an abortion!)

Liz


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## niki87 (Nov 18, 2009)

I really hope your mum gets better too! Let her look throught the baby clothes too  xx


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## hazyreality (Jan 11, 2009)

Only just got back on here myself after a chaotic few weeks, just wanted to say what a prat your partner is! and how sorry I am that you are having to deal with all that when you should just be happy about the baby 
You are a very brave person and the baby will be lucky to have a mum like you!

*Heidi*


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## ClaireandDaisy (Jul 4, 2010)

I brought up 3 children on my own when my coward of an ex moved out. That was the best thing that ever happened to me. I went on to have the life I wanted and am very happy - and don`t regret a thing. 
Be positive. It`s good you found out what a loser he was now rather than later. Best wishes to you and your baby. 
x


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