# Fight with the OH - rant



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

I warn you now there will be swearing 

So the buzzer went for our food OH went to answer, I thought I would put my painkillers in my water (I take them with food) but I couldn't find them so I started looking, he got the food then came back in

I was still looking, he asked me what I was looking for so I told him, he asked where I put them and I said I didn't know, he just stood there, didn't even bother helping to look

While he was watching, he said "where's the other food" (we ordered from Chinese and Indian) so I said "how am I supposed to know"

Just after I said that the door went, he got the food, I found my pain killers

Then as we were washing our hands, he said "you're nasty, you were nasty to me there" I asked him when and he said when he asked me where the food was

Is he ******* kidding? How the **** am I supposed to know where it is?!!? Also I was pissed he wasn't helping me look, especially as earlier on I helped him look for something 

So it escalated from there, he wouldn't listen to me, he shouted, I shouted

He said that I can't talk to him like that (but it's ok for him to call me nasty for nothing!!) 

Then he said I don appreciate him, what the ****!! I say please and thank you, I buy him whatever he wants, it's thanks to me we can still live in this ******* flat (how about some appreciation for that!!) the clothes I bought recently were for him!

It's sorted now but grrrrrr


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## piggybaker (Feb 10, 2009)

You know wine his great wine pain killers , they give you the whatever feeling! Sleep it will be yesterday's chip wrappings tomorrow Hun...


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Nothing's perfect Tinks. Better to rant on here than sit and stew at home. Get it out. Don't let it fester. Life's too short.

We all get on each other's nerves at times. Let it go.


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

Tone of voice can be hurtful even if we dont mean it and its in frustration, you prolly snapped at him a lil more edgy then needed lol


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## Guest (Oct 5, 2013)

We all have arguments, I've had my fair share with OH...... some nasty words have been said by both me and OH (to each other) but we always apologise and move on. It's the heat of the moment thing. Hope you're feeling better soon, it'll all blow over by tomorrow.


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## tincan (Aug 30, 2012)

Never go to bed on a barny Tinks ..... Resolve & Rest  

Tomorrow is another day


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

I actually *do* think you were snappy with him - I don't think it was intentional though.

You were worried about your pills, he was worreid that all the food hadn't arrived. So you both had your minds on different things. You EXPECTED him to stop dealing with the food and look for your pills, and you snapped. You probably didn't mean to, you probably didn't even realise. You basically asked a man to multitask - and that is rarely a good thing to do.

Tome of voice is often not what we think it is. I was talking to my daughter and she snapped at me, at which point I got cross. She asked her father 'did I really sound nasty?' and he told her she did. SHe hadn't meant it, it just came out that way.

By the way, constantly keeping tabs on who did what - you helped him look for something so he should do the same for you etc - is petty. You do things for each other, because you love each other or care for each other. Not because they owe you as you did something for them previously. Life is never even.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Yes well it seems lots of giving from me and not much from him at the mo


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## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Yes well it seems lots of giving from me and not much from him at the mo


Ok I will ask 

You say he cares for you 24/7 so in my mind basically he is your carer and looks after you without respite as you don't like him going out on his own..that to me is a massive commitment to some one..

..yet you never have a good word to say about him (apart from he is hot which to me means nothing at all)

So what do you give to him.,and pls keep it clean


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Yes well it seems lots of giving from me and not much from him at the mo


Tinks he gives everything to you... his time, his caring for you and your needs, what do you want him to do? have a look at him from diff eyes for just one minute and you may see a loyal long suffering man beside you.


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## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

My husband is my carer, but first and formost he is my husband i wouldnt ever dream of saying he gives nothing back hes amazing he does nearlly everything for me , i dont need flowers or chocolates altho i do get them i know he loves me because of how he loves and cares for me, yes there are cross words but then he deals with and does a hell of a lot for me and the home everyday, just be patient with him tink if he didnt love you he wouldnt do the things he does for you


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2013)

In some respects as far as partners go Tinks it don't sound like you have done too badly, it could be a lot worse.

Take my other half for example, I've had an outside drain blocked now for over a week, I'm still waiting for him to go out with the rods to do it, he probably won't do it until I stop mentioning it, by that time I will have gone out there and done it myself 

He won't wash up or use a dishwasher, he won't use a vacuum or sweep a floor, won't even flick the washer on, or use a tumble dryer if I ask him to switch it on, he couldn't cook to save his life, he won't even make a cup of tea or coffee as it's so bad when he does, I can't drink it so I don't ask anymore :laugh:

He's forgiven for all of the above as he does work extremely hard and he's a good dad despite him being crap round the house :laugh:


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## catz4m8z (Aug 27, 2008)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I was still looking, he asked me what I was looking for so I told him, he asked where I put them
> :


frankly I would be more annoyed at this comment! If you knew where you put them they wouldnt be lost would they??
D'oh!!


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## myshkin (Mar 23, 2010)

Try flipping it Tink. Imagine it was the other way round, try talking to him like it was the other way round. That's it, do it. Not that easy is it?

Appreciate it missis!


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## piggybaker (Feb 10, 2009)

So Tink how are things this morning....xx


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

nicolaa123 said:


> Ok I will ask
> 
> You say he cares for you 24/7 so in my mind basically he is your carer and looks after you without respite as you don't like him going out on his own..that to me is a massive commitment to some one..
> 
> ...


Re the going out thing, we both decided to be together 24/7

You make it sound like its all me!



catz4m8z said:


> frankly I would be more annoyed at this comment! If you knew where you put them they wouldnt be lost would they??
> D'oh!!


Haha exactly!

It wasn't that though its that he stood there and watched me struggle trying to find them

Oh and he snapped at me before I did him, I accidentally knocked a glass of water and it spilled just a little and he was like "why don't you pick something up!!!"

I might be getting the wrong end of the stick here but it seems that a lot of people think I should let him get away with anything and that everything is my fault just because he's my carer

It's not like he does literally everything, I do help when I can, even if its just reading the back of the packet of food for him or handing him a tassimo disc to put in the machine or handing him a bit of kitchen roll or a tea towel so he can wipe up, it's not like I'm sat on my arse while he does literally everything, I get the impression that's what people think

I always say please and thank you (he doesn't) I go out when I'm ill just because he wants to see a certain film (he wouldn't even consider going out if he was ill and I wanted to see film) I rub him, give him sympathy if he hurts himself (I never get so much as a "are you ok") and then there's the other unmentionable stuff I do even when I'm ill, no matter how ill, tired or in pain I am I do it

I dress in clothes he likes, have my hair how he likes, I never ask for any of that off him



piggybaker said:


> So Tink how are things this morning....xx


He's been in a bad mood with me because we weighed ourselves and I lost fat but he didnt, I suppose that's somehow my fault too!

I say been, he seems ok now but the touchy feely has stopped


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## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Re the going out thing, we both decided to be together 24/7
> 
> You make it sound like its all me!
> 
> ...


Im sorry but you have just made it sound all you you you, not what he does for you again im sorry but that guy deserves a lot more thanks and gratitude then you give him especially how you spk about him on here!!!


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

LolaBoo said:


> Im sorry but you have just made it sound all you you you, not what he does for you again im sorry but that guy deserves a lot more thanks and gratitude then you give him especially how you spk about him on here!!!


Ok fair enough


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## sskmick (Feb 4, 2008)

catz4m8z said:


> frankly I would be more annoyed at this comment! If you knew where you put them they wouldnt be lost would they??
> D'oh!!


Its a comment that is made - where did you have them last. Its as daft as I searched high and low and they were in the last place I looked. Why would you continue looking once you found them.  

Lovers tiff Tinks, kiss and make up


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Crikey, if I came on here each me and the OH got on each others' nerves, I'd never be off! It's a normal part of most relationshiops.

T'aint worth prolonging the silly things Tinks. Let it go.

Hope things are more stable today.


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## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Ok fair enough


Nice to see you up and about Tink...how is the night time sleep going?


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Summersky said:


> Crikey, if I came on here each me and the OH got on each others' nerves, I'd never be off! It's a normal part of most relationshiops.
> 
> T'aint worth prolonging the silly things Tinks. Let it go.
> 
> Hope things are more stable today.


Lol

I only came on here as I needed to get it out



Lavenderb said:


> Nice to see you up and about Tink...how is the night time sleep going?


Thanks

It's going good, easier than I thought to get up earlier

We are going to bed about 3 - half 3, getting up half 10 - 11

Days still seem to be going quick!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Re the going out thing, we both decided to be together 24/7
> 
> You make it sound like its all me!
> 
> ...


Thank you - please DON'T mention it. But if you are doing stuff you'd rather not, that is your choice.

Your previous comment about how if it wasn't for you, the pair of you "wouldn't even be able to afford the flat" (or words to that effect) also seems a bit out of order to me - loving couples don't treat each other, and think about each other, the way the two of you appear to.

If you don't want to go to the pictures, tell him to go on his own. Keep a mobile phone handy if you're worried about being alone for two hours. It isn't healthy for either of you to be in each other's pockets like this. No the wonder you drive each other crackers!


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

lostbear said:


> Thank you - please DON'T mention it. *But if you are doing stuff you'd rather not, that is your choice.*
> 
> Your previous comment about how if it wasn't for you, the pair of you "wouldn't even be able to afford the flat" (or words to that effect) also seems a bit out of order to me - loving couples don't treat each other, and think about each other, the way the two of you appear to.
> 
> If you don't want to go to the pictures, tell him to go on his own. Keep a mobile phone handy if you're worried about being alone for two hours. It isn't healthy for either of you to be in each other's pockets like this. No the wonder you drive each other crackers!


Hang on, we don't live off take aways 

*The point I was trying to make though is I do stuff for him, people are trying to make out I don't, when the reality is I do what I'm able to*


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## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

Do you think you will marry him? How did you meet?


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## shetlandlover (Dec 6, 2011)

The guys with you 24/7, he doesn't leave you at all because of your health. I think that's pretty much dedication, helping you around, cooking for you, cleaning your flat. You nor him really work, you sell things on ebay which likely means your income is benefit based (nothing wrong with that, disabled people deserve the help) but that doesn't mean you have provided the flat/house for him.

You should appreciate him, he should appreciate you. Tbh if you think what he said was out of order you should hear my hubby, drives me up the wall sometimes but we are a team.

You can't live your life point scoring, I did this for him, I expect him to do that for me. There's a quote that springs to mind.....Although you're not married you have been together long enough for it to be like a marriage.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Lavenderb said:


> Do you think you will marry him? How did you meet?


We won't get married

We met through a friend

Basically my friend at school tried to set me up with her neighbour (who turned out to be an illiterate chav) the guys cousin took my number out of his phone and we started texting, we met and there was no feelings there (my side) so we agreed to set each other up with friends, so he gave my number to my (now) OH, we text, met up and the rest as they say is history



shetlandlover said:


> The guys with you 24/7, he doesn't leave you at all because of your health. I think that's pretty much dedication, helping you around, cooking for you, cleaning your flat. You nor him really work, you sell things on ebay which likely means your income is benefit based (nothing wrong with that, disabled people deserve the help) but that doesn't mean you have provided the flat/house for him.
> 
> You should appreciate him, he should appreciate you. Tbh if you think what he said was out of order you should hear my hubby, drives me up the wall sometimes but we are a team.
> 
> You can't live your life point scoring, I did this for him, I expect him to do that for me. There's a quote that springs to mind.....Although you're not married you have been together long enough for it to be like a marriage.


So it's ok I take the blame for everything? Because that's how it is, exerytime something goes wrong, gets lost, gets broken, we argue it's always my fault

I admit sometimes it is but not all the time!

I remember a particularly bad fight, he smashed things up (scales, hamster balls, wooden clothes horse, a lamp my aunt gave us) he said it was my fault

What caused it? Me asking if I could move the settee forward a bit so I could see the TV better

People on here talk like he's nothing but an angel and I'm nothing but a bitch, we can both be angels and bitches, we are both right and wrong, but no, it seems like I'm always in the wrong and I should let him get away with anything as he's my carer and has given up so much to care for me which isn't the case as we were together all the time anyway before this disability affected me like this, it's not like he had to give up work or anything to care for me, he hasn't given up anything to care for me

I'm not bitch some people think I am!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> e
> *
> I'm not bitch some people think I am![*/QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Of course he's not perfect - I'm not, you're not, nobody is.

Perhaps the best way is not to take the rise - or bite your tongue, rather than start what you know will turn into another row.

Being together 24/7 without a break is bound to put a strain on your relationship, even if it is by choice.

It does take two to argue, so how about trying the "walk away"/no response/OK I hear what you say technique? How do you think he would react?

It might just break the cycle - unless he is one of those people who "needs" the confrontation, and gets off on arguments. And don't try it if you think he might turn physical.


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

Tinks that sounds toxic, you _both_ have no right to talk down to or intimidate each other thru smashing things. If you or him are frustrated to that point then something is seriously wrong and you need to re evaluate if you should be together.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

lostbear said:


> I don't think anyone has called you that (not that I've read). What you seem to do is take any comment which tries to offer a point of view other than your own (in order to bring a bit of balance to the situation) and turn it into a personal accusation. You then claim people are calling you lazy, bitch, etc etc etc, when most of them have just said that there are two sides to every story.
> 
> You don't seem to be happy with your OH. You feel that you are doing all the giving and he is doing all the taking. Why stay in the relationship?


Oh I know no one called me a bitch, it's just that's how I feel people see me 

It's not that it's all me give, him take, I'm just sick of getting the blame all the time and feeling like I just have to put up with it cause he's my carer


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## we love bsh's (Mar 28, 2011)

My OH wouldnt be happy if i came on here telling people our problems and tbh i wouldnt cause by the next day everything would be resolved and id feel very silly telling the world my problems however each to their own.

When 2 people live together especially been together 24/7 its normal to rub each other the wrong way.


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## redroses2106 (Aug 21, 2011)

you shouldn't be keeping score lol, I think if I were with some 24/7 they would drive me a bit crazy as well  do you have any friends maybe one night he could go out with some the guys and you could get in some wine and nibbles and maybe have some of your girly friends round? just give you both a little break but you wouldn't be on your own


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Summersky said:


> Of course he's not perfect - I'm not, you're not, nobody is.
> 
> Perhaps the best way is not to take the rise - or bite your tongue, rather than start what you know will turn into another row.
> 
> ...


If I walked away (which would me more like a stagger away lol) he would just follow, if I ignored him he would call me ignorant, the last one may well work



Waterlily said:


> Tinks that sounds toxic, you _both_ have no right to talk down to or intimidate each other thru smashing things. If you or him are frustrated to that point then something is seriously wrong and you need to re evaluate if you should be together.


Tbf that was ages ago, it's been no where near as bad since


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## shetlandlover (Dec 6, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> So it's ok I take the blame for everything? Because that's how it is, exerytime something goes wrong, gets lost, gets broken, we argue it's always my fault
> 
> I admit sometimes it is but not all the time!
> 
> ...


But you have to remember that being a carer is very draining and difficult, many people have sympathy for the sufferer but forget about the person who's taking the lead carer role.

I'm sure you both do things wrong, every relationship works the same way.

I'm sure spending ALL the time together makes you both short with each other but you should be working together not pulling apart. Otherwise it's best to reconsider your relationship.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

redroses2106 said:


> you shouldn't be keeping score lol, I think if I were with some 24/7 they would drive me a bit crazy as well  do you have any friends maybe one night he could go out with some the guys and you could get in some wine and nibbles and maybe have some of your girly friends round? just give you both a little break but you wouldn't be on your own


No we don't want that

We don't want to be apart really

And all my mates have kids so are always busy and live miles away


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## Jenny1966 (Feb 7, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Oh I know no one called me a bitch, it's just that's how I feel people see me
> 
> It's not that it's all me give, him take, I'm just sick of getting the blame all the time and feeling like I just have to put up with it cause he's my carer


Trouble is you are 'putting up with it' just because he is your carer .......... if your relationship gets you down that much then maybe it's time to rethink why you actually stay in it. If you didn't need a carer would you still be there?


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Jenny1966 said:


> Trouble is you are 'putting up with it' just because he is your carer .......... if your relationship gets you down that much then maybe it's time to rethink why you actually stay in it. If you didn't need a carer would you still be there?


Yeah I would because I do love him and it's not bad all the time


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## Jenny1966 (Feb 7, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Yeah I would because I do love him and it's not bad all the time


Then maybe focus on the good, rather than always focusing on the bad 

Maybe you should start telling everyone about his good points, rather than always ranting about his bad ones


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

Tinks, I can see two problems here.

1. You don't have any close female friends that you can have a good moan with. Most women whinge about their fellas to their closest mate. It gets it off their chests, clears their head and they can get back into the thick of it, feeling refreshed and able to cope with the crap again. Your only form of release is this forum and, unfortunately, you leave yourself wide open to everyone's opinion. Some of those will not be as understanding andwill point the blame at you and that will not make you feel any better.

2. When people are in physical pain, they can answer questions in a much sharper tone that they either realise or intend to. You have seen yourself doing this on here. Much better of late, credit where it's due hun, but in the past you know that many of your replies caused a lot of trouble.


It is natural to see other peoples faults more quickly than our own. Most relationships see the problems as being the fault of the other person. It takes a VERY well adjusted person to step back and see their own input to the situation. I was once given some great advice - when resolving issues in the home, put yourself as the first person. So, for example, if you were talking to your OH you would say " I am finding it when you do 'such-and-such'. I probably wouldn't if I was in better health / feeling better but when I feel like this, I can't really cope. Please could I ask you to do ------- instead. It would really help me a lot. Thank you so much." We all know what you really mean is "look [email protected], you're really make a right f*ck up of that, why don't you just do it like this???"   

Men need their egos stroked, a man who is with you 24/7 may need it a bit more. Think of blokes being like dogs - everytime they do a good deed, you have to pat them on the head and tell them what a good boy they have been!  :lol: :lol:


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> No we don't want that
> 
> We don't want to be apart really
> 
> And all my mates have kids so are always busy and live miles away


Then, instead of going out separately, why not ask some of your mutual friends round? They could pick up takeaway on the way over, to save the stress of cooking.

That would at least give you a break from the intense 24/7 relationship that you have, without actually being apart.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Jenny1966 said:


> Then maybe focus on the good, rather than always focusing on the bad
> 
> Maybe you should start telling everyone about his good points, rather than always ranting about his bad ones


Ok well.....

He's good with the pets, it's cute when he's showing them around the flat :laugh:

He can be loving at times

He can be kind

He's funny

His cuddles are nice



MoggyBaby said:


> Tinks, I can see two problems here.
> 
> 1. You don't have any close female friends that you can have a good moan with. Most women whinge about their fellas to their closest mate. It gets it off their chests, clears their head and they can get back into the thick of it, feeling refreshed and able to cope with the crap again. Your only form of release is this forum and, unfortunately, you leave yourself wide open to everyone's opinion. Some of those will not be as understanding andwill point the blame at you and that will not make you feel any better.
> 
> ...


I wouldn't really talk to female friends, I would rather talk to strangers, people who don't know us

That's good advice, will try that

Don't get me wrong I all but feed him a treat when he does something good lol I do appreciate it and I always say thank you

I just don't appreciate always being made out to be in the wrong


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Summersky said:


> Then, instead of going out separately, why not ask some of your mutual friends round? They could pick up takeaway on the way over, to save the stress of cooking.
> 
> That would at least give you a break from the intense 24/7 relationship that you have, without actually being apart.


Good idea!

Or if I'm up to it we could all get together for a meal


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## ginge2804 (Nov 5, 2011)

Waterlily said:


> Tone of voice can be hurtful even if we dont mean it and its in frustration, you prolly snapped at him a lil more edgy then needed lol


I know this!! ME and bf are always arguing over stupid things, and both of us can never understand why the other is getting so upset... and sometimes it really is the tone in which you say things...

Ill say things to bf being perfectly fine, but he'll get annoyed, and vice versa, and it really is the tone in which we both say things without meaning to...

I know how you feel though think, I have a bf that I do loads for, and he does not a lot for me.. He will let me stand for ages looking for something, and then go 'ohn actually, I think there...' 

Just take a deep breath, you got your good and tablets, so just... give him the silent treatment for a while :lol: Joking...glad everything is ok now!!


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## ginge2804 (Nov 5, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Good idea!
> 
> Or if I'm up to it we could all get together for a meal


Were abouts are you tink?

Not to sound like a stalker, but if your near me, I would be up for a meal or something???
Me and bf are the same, we do everything together, so doing couple things is something we love!!


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## Etienne (Dec 8, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Ok well.....
> 
> He's good with the pets, it's cute when he's showing them around the flat :laugh:
> 
> ...


To me your making him sound like he is your dog and not your so called b/f if that can also be called the right term


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## Cosmills (Oct 3, 2012)

We all have our bad days and say things we don't really mean and do things without really thinking of others and also take our OH,s for granted ... If my hubby was with me 24/7 he would drive me up the bloody wall , but he is my hubby and I love him dearly ... Never go to bed on a argument


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## cinnamontoast (Oct 24, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> People on here talk like he's nothing but an angel and I'm nothing but a bitch, we can both be angels and bitches, we are both right and wrong, but no, it seems like I'm always in the wrong and I should let him get away with anything as he's my carer and has given up so much to care for me which isn't the case as we were together all the time anyway before this disability affected me like this, it's not like he had to give up work or anything to care for me, he hasn't given up anything to care for me
> 
> I'm not bitch some people think I am!


We only get your side of things so if you think people have that impression of you, then it's because of what you've said.

And to say he's given up nothing to care for you is not true, is it? Going out with his mates, having time on his own, putting himself first, being able to go to the gym, his independence and masculinity. According to you, because of you (your benefits, presume) he can afford to live in the flat.

Does the DSS know you have an income selling on eBay? You have been made aware that people have seen other stuff you've posted on here and now there are lots of pics of you on here: you really ought to take more care about what you say and post on here. If your bf ever saw all of your rants about his behaviour, given he doesn't want his pic on the Internet, would he be happy?

It wouldn't kill you to be a bit nicer about him and a whole load more grateful, cos were he to leave tomorrow, you'd be up a heck of a creek.

I think you're making a massive mountain out of a molehill over this. At least you HAVE a bf who looks after you.


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## piggybaker (Feb 10, 2009)

I wasn't gonna jump on the band wagon but WL is right Tink you are talking about him in an odd way! Heis supposed to be someone special to you! Be careful to look after what you have or one day it could go....


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## sharonbee (Aug 3, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> So it escalated from there, he wouldn't listen to me, he shouted, I shouted


Hope you have sorted out your differences now, have you tired talking to each other rather than shouting? Just asking as me and my husband have never shouted at each other in the 12 years we have been together. We have always said if we disagree about anything then we need to talk about it, if something is upsetting us we need to sit and talk it through, it really is much better than shouting, once shouting and swearing has started in a relationship then surely the respect for each other has gone too...or maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I feel in my own opinion.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

ginge2804 said:


> I know this!! ME and bf are always arguing over stupid things, and both of us can never understand why the other is getting so upset... and sometimes it really is the tone in which you say things...
> 
> Ill say things to bf being perfectly fine, but he'll get annoyed, and vice versa, and it really is the tone in which we both say things without meaning to...
> 
> ...


I wouldn't mind but early on in the relatio ship I did literally everything, I cooked, washed dishes, did laundry, cleaned, put laundry away, emptied bins, all he did was Hoover once a week

Even when he had cancer I did everything, I was at his beck and call, I even put up with his mood swings (while keeping a lid on my own) I put up with him having ago at me for not picking up a package which was miles away and I wouldn't be able to get to on public transport, yet when he was shouting at me, let it slide

I'm not saying I did those things so he would one day do them back but I'm a big believer in treating others how they treat you



ginge2804 said:


> Were abouts are you tink?
> 
> Not to sound like a stalker, but if your near me, I would be up for a meal or something???
> Me and bf are the same, we do everything together, so doing couple things is something we love!!


I'm in Newcastle, where you from?


----------



## oggers86 (Nov 14, 2011)

If it makes you feel any better, today is my birthday yet I made the breakfast and the cups of tea AND when I told him to get me something nice from the supermarket he came back with something he wasnt sure I liked. I dont. 

He is however forgiven (well mostly ) as we have just got back off honeymoon and it has been a very long journey which has taken it out of both of us. 

Sometimes you really do need to focus on the good things which I know can be hard. Sometimes I stew so much on his faults and see someone saying how amazing their husband is and it makes me really annoyed. Yet when I focus on the good things I see that actually things are not so bad after all. 

Although he now owes me 2 cups of tea in bed as punishment. Sadly it will probably be weeks before I get them as no doubt I will be on earlies at the weekend and he has them off. Booo.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Etienne said:


> To me your making him sound like he is your dog and not your so called b/f if that can also be called the right term


It was a joke



Cosmills said:


> We all have our bad days and say things we don't really mean and do things without really thinking of others and also take our OH,s for granted ... If my hubby was with me 24/7 he would drive me up the bloody wall , but he is my hubby and I love him dearly ... *Never go to bed on a argument*


I think in all our years we've done that once and it was awful, never again



cinnamontoast said:


> We only get your side of things so if you think people have that impression of you, then it's because of what you've said.
> 
> *And to say he's given up nothing to care for you is not true, is it? Going out with his mates, having time on his own, putting himself first, being able to go to the gym, his independence and masculinity*. According to you, because of you (your benefits, presume) he can afford to live in the flat.
> 
> ...


It is true actually, as I said we were together 24/7 before he became my carer, he had to give up none of that because he did none of that previous to being my carer



sharonbee said:


> Hope you have sorted out your differences now, have you tired talking to each other rather than shouting? Just asking as me and my husband have never shouted at each other in the 12 years we have been together. We have always said if we disagree about anything then we need to talk about it, if something is upsetting us we need to sit and talk it through, it really is much better than shouting, once shouting and swearing has started in a relationship then surely the respect for each other has gone too...or maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I feel in my own opinion.


We are both quite immature arguers  he won't let me speak which annoys me then I get angry and shout which in turn annoys him

If I walk away he will follow and continue, if he walks away he will come back and continue

If I don say anything he will call me ignorant and keep pushing and pushing till he gets me to bite



oggers86 said:


> If it makes you feel any better, today is my birthday yet I made the breakfast and the cups of tea AND when I told him to get me something nice from the supermarket he came back with something he wasnt sure I liked. I dont.
> 
> He is however forgiven (well mostly ) as we have just got back off honeymoon and it has been a very long journey which has taken it out of both of us.
> 
> ...


 shocking behaviour!

Happy birthday :thumbup: and congrats on the wedding, where was the honeymoon?


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

You shouldn't be playing point scoring in a relationship, which from here it does sound like that is what's happening, in the long run its not relevant and won't get you both anywhere. 

I think your boyfriend does give up alot for you with out you having to ask, that speaks in volumes in itself how much he cares for you. 

Lots of arguments are escalated quickly over nothing really but it does sound like you have a good one there so don't dwell on the little things he doesn't do and look at all the other things he does for you.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

CaliDog said:


> You shouldn't be playing point scoring in a relationship, which from here it does sound like that is what's happening, in the long run its not relevant and won't get you both anywhere.
> 
> I think your boyfriend does give up alot for you with out you having to ask, that speaks in volumes in itself how much he cares for you.
> 
> Lots of arguments are escalated quickly over nothing really but it does sound like you have a good one there so don't dwell on the little things he doesn't do and look at all the other things he does for you.


I disagree that he's given up stuff

Yeah I agree we shouldn't be points scoring but as I say I go by the treat others as they treat you mantra


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I disagree that he's given up stuff
> 
> Yeah I agree we shouldn't be points scoring but as I say I go by the treat others as they treat you mantra


If somebody is spending 24/7 with you of course they are giving some things up, and to be honest it's not at all healthy.I love my partner unconditionally but I couldn't spend 24/7 with him it would drive me mad and him and that's where the tit for tat arguments start.

What if he wants some time to his self or wants to socialise with friends or family alone he can't , am not saying that's your fault as he has made that decision but he has done that for you so surely he must be giving things up.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

CaliDog said:


> If somebody is spending 24/7 with you of course they are giving some things up, and to be honest it's not at all healthy.I love my partner unconditionally but I couldn't spend 24/7 with him it would drive me mad and him and that's where the tit for tat arguments start.
> 
> What if he wants some time to his self or wants to socialise with friends or family alone he can't , am not saying that's your fault as he has made that decision but he has done that for you so surely he must be giving things up.


In that case, am I giving things up for him?


----------



## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

oggers86 said:


> If it makes you feel any better, today is my birthday yet I made the breakfast and the cups of tea AND when I told him to get me something nice from the supermarket he came back with something he wasnt sure I liked. I dont.
> 
> He is however forgiven (well mostly ) as we have just got back off honeymoon and it has been a very long journey which has taken it out of both of us.
> 
> ...


Happy Birthday


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> In that case, am I giving things up for him?


I don't know are you?


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## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

Happy Birthday Oggers.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

CaliDog said:


> I don't know are you?


Well if he is, I must be too


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

Your OH truly has my sympathies.


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Well if he is, I must be too


If you are both missing out on things so you can be together 24/7 is not healthy.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

CaliDog said:


> If you are both missing out on things so you can be together 24/7 is not healthy.


But that's it, we aren't missing out on things

There's nothing we are missing out on


----------



## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

My Oh just took the girls out 1 at a time because I'm in pain and can't walk far today, he won't go oh I walked the girls you do that, and I wouldnt to him he's aslso cooking a roast dinner and done most of housework is he doing it to get anything out of it.... yes he is,my thanks for being amazing ,is he moaning about it yes probably but 2 himself, never 2 me unless its been a [email protected] day n he needs to vent, he didn't do any of what he does to get brownie points, I shouldn't be on my own but I make a point of going and laying down in bedroom with the girls TV on' painkillers in draw, drink on side TV on mobile n house one if needed and then he goes out for a couple of hrs to see friends xx


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## Milliepoochie (Feb 13, 2011)

I don't feel I cam comment on your situation / relationship as I don't know you but I do know if my husband wrote things like this down for others to read rather than speak to me about how he felt I would be very very upset.

I think you both need to communicate more and talk about the comments youve raised in this thread.


----------



## Marycat (Jul 29, 2013)

oggers86 said:


> If it makes you feel any better, today is my birthday yet I made the breakfast and the cups of tea AND when I told him to get me something nice from the supermarket he came back with something he wasnt sure I liked. I dont.
> 
> He is however forgiven (well mostly ) as we have just got back off honeymoon and it has been a very long journey which has taken it out of both of us.
> 
> ...


 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! xx


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Milliepoochie said:


> I don't feel I cam comment on your situation / relationship as I don't know you but I do know if my husband wrote things like this down for others to read rather than speak to me about how he felt I would be very very upset.
> 
> I think you both need to communicate more and talk about the comments youve raised in this thread.


As I said I'm a shouty arguer, I find posting on here to get it out and then chatting to him better


----------



## oggers86 (Nov 14, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> It was a joke
> 
> shocking behaviour!
> 
> Happy birthday :thumbup: and congrats on the wedding, where was the honeymoon?


Isnt it just!

Honeymoon was Singapore for the Grand Prix and then we flew to Bali for 10 days, then back to Singapore for the night before flying back to England the next night.

13 hour flight from Singapore to London, not good :nonod:


----------



## oggers86 (Nov 14, 2011)

Marycat said:


> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! xx


Thanks 

(Stupid thing says my message is too short)


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

oggers86 said:


> Isnt it just!
> 
> Honeymoon was Singapore for the Grand Prix and then we flew to Bali for 10 days, then back to Singapore for the night before flying back to England the next night.
> 
> 13 hour flight from Singapore to London, not good :nonod:


Ouch to the flight

Honeymoon sounded wonderful (minus the Grand Prix  )

Pleased you enjoyed it


----------



## oggers86 (Nov 14, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Ouch to the flight
> 
> Honeymoon sounded wonderful (minus the Grand Prix  )
> 
> Pleased you enjoyed it


The GP wasnt all that bad, I havent suddenly converted to a mad GP fan but it was a great experience. Bali was lovely and perfect for me, all inclusive food and drink 24/7, bright blue skies and blazing sunshine with a beach and a pool.

I can practically see my tan fading already :crying:


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

oggers86 said:


> The GP wasnt all that bad, I havent suddenly converted to a mad GP fan but it was a great experience. Bali was lovely and perfect for me, all inclusive food and drink 24/7, bright blue skies and blazing sunshine with a beach and a pool.
> 
> I can practically see my tan fading already :crying:


Slap a bit o the ol fake stuff on


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## astro2011 (Dec 13, 2011)

My OH would love your honeymoon. Unfortunately it's gonna be the Maldives for us


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

astro2011 said:


> My OH would love your honeymoon. Unfortunately it's gonna be the Maldives for us


How selfish of you, you should let him do what he wants


----------



## astro2011 (Dec 13, 2011)

Haha! No chance! I went to Dubai he's going to the Maldives!


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## tincan (Aug 30, 2012)

astro2011 said:


> My OH would love your honeymoon. Unfortunately it's gonna be the Maldives for us


There's no place like the Maldives ... Paradise on earth been 5 times


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## tincan (Aug 30, 2012)

Soz Tinks didn't mean to knock off topic


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## Etienne (Dec 8, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I wouldn't mind but early on in the relatio ship I did literally everything, I cooked, washed dishes, did laundry, cleaned, put laundry away, emptied bins, all he did was Hoover once a week
> 
> *Even when he had cancer I did everything, I was at his beck and call, I even put up with his mood swings (while keeping a lid on my own) I put up with him having ago at me for not picking up a package which was miles away and I wouldn't be able to get to on public transport, yet when he was shouting at me, let it slide*
> 
> ...


I would have thought that was the least you could do for him considering his illness. You are a lucky women to have him still with you, with your attitude towards me I would have waved goodbye long ago


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

tincan said:


> Soz Tinks didn't mean to knock off topic


That's ok..... I'll chin ya later


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Etienne said:


> I would have thought that was the least you could do for him considering his illness. You are a lucky women to have him still with you, with your attitude towards me I would have waved goodbye long ago


Yet when the coin is flipped it's a different story?


----------



## EmCHammer (Dec 28, 2009)

It's very hard to judge people's relationships so none if us know how tinks and her oh are together in real life. Although some may not agree but letting off steam to friends or in this way an open forum can be a way of diffusing situations or also getting people's comments on another perspective on the situation and makes you maybe see that things may be out if proportion or why the other person may behaves like they do. It's not a fix for what may be bugging you or fixing those issues.

My oh is my best friend and love spending time being with him doing stuff we do have time out its called work lol. We argue like cat and dog at times over complete crap we are immature arguers too and mostly it's over misinterpretation rarely the big stuff


----------



## Etienne (Dec 8, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Yet when the coin is flipped it's a different story?


Seems to me this is a one sided relationship


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

EmCHammer said:


> It's very hard to judge people's relationships so none if us know how tinks and her oh are together in real life. Although some may not agree but letting off steam to friends or in this way an open forum can be a way of diffusing situations or also getting people's comments on another perspective on the situation and makes you maybe see that things may be out if proportion or why the other person may behaves like they do. It's not a fix for what may be bugging you or fixing those issues.
> 
> My oh is my best friend and love spending time being with him doing stuff we do have time out its called work lol. We argue like cat and dog at times over complete crap we are immature arguers too and mostly it's over misinterpretation rarely the big stuff


Exactly!



Etienne said:


> Seems to me this is a one sided relationship


I don't know where you get that from!


----------



## loubyfrog (Feb 29, 2012)

Hope you and your OH have made up now Tinks.

Maybe you both have the same personality so you both argue the same way....there's nothing worse than having a heated debate with someone just has stubborn as you. Two people trying to have the last word isn't good at all.

The thing is it takes two people to have a argument so to be fair you are both at fault to be fair...it's not like you can argue with yourself is it.

My advice would be...don't hold Grudges,if you do Tinks they will eat you alive.

I would suggest popping on the sailor costume as a way of saying sorry to your OH but seen as your thread got closed about it,I'll not bother!!


----------



## Etienne (Dec 8, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Exactly!
> 
> I don't know where you get that from!


From reading most of your threads for the pass few weeks


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

loubyfrog said:


> Hope you and your OH have made up now Tinks.
> 
> Maybe you both have the same personality so you both argue the same way....there's nothing worse than having a heated debate with someone just has stubborn as you. Two people trying to have the last word isn't good at all.
> 
> ...


Yeah we have



Etienne said:


> From reading most of your threads for the pass few weeks


Well you're wrong


----------



## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Well you're wrong


Its just how it reads tinks, I doubt anyone means offence.. You never post anything positive about your partner never post a thread saying how grateful or something you both did that was fun. Its only ever been him painted as a horrible man and Im sure you didnt intend that.


----------



## Etienne (Dec 8, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Yeah we have
> 
> Well you're wrong


Off course you would say that, but there is nothing you have written so far, is enough to make me change my views. This is just my opinion


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

cinnamontoast said:


> Does the DSS know you have an income selling on eBay? You have been made aware that people have seen other stuff you've posted on here and now there are lots of pics of you on here: you really ought to take more care about what you say and post on here. If your bf ever saw all of your rants about his behaviour, given he doesn't want his pic on the Internet, would he be happy? .


Does DSS mean Housing Benefit?


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

Etienne said:


> Off course you would say that, but there is nothing you have written so far, is enough to make me change my views. This is just my opinion


Oh your not allowed an opinion, you are just causing agro.

Poor bloke, i bet he feels trapped! At lease if a dog was being abused as much as he is then we could call the RSPCA.

I hope he reads what nasty horrible things has been written about him.


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

BenBoy said:


> Does DSS mean Housing Benefit?


Nah the dole..and you are only allowed to earn about a tenner a week if you are 'working' and claiming.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Waterlily said:


> Its just how it reads tinks, I doubt anyone means offence.. You never post anything positive about your partner never post a thread saying how grateful or something you both did that was fun. Its only ever been him painted as a horrible man and Im sure you didnt intend that.


I'm not really a lovey dovey mushy person though

I've posted about going to the cinema to him which is always fun


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

harley bear said:


> Nah the dole..and you are only allowed to earn about a tenner a week if you are 'working' and claiming.


We aren't on the dole


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## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

harley bear said:


> Nah the dole..and you are only allowed to earn about a tenner a week if you are 'working' and claiming.


Oh right, thanks


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> We aren't on the dole


No your claiming disability benefit...which means you are unable to provide your own income as your disabled...selling on ebay is providing yourself with an income


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## tincan (Aug 30, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> That's ok..... I'll chin ya later


He he .... you will have too catch me first mrs


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

harley bear said:


> No *your claiming disability benefit*...which means you are unable to provide your own income as your disabled...selling on ebay is providing yourself with an income


No I'm not


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

tincan said:


> He he .... you will have too catch me first mrs


I'm great with a lassoo


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> No I'm not


ok so your living on fresh air? and your oh is your 'carer'.


----------



## witchyone (Dec 16, 2011)

from what I have read so far on here you and your bf don't seem to like each other that much. So why are you together ? You don't want a physical relationship with him and tbh I cant understand why a red blooded male is with someone who dosnt want to get close  Sorry to be blunt but does he or you have learning difficulties ??? Or both of you ? Sorry but I cannot for the life of me get my head round your relationship. If he wants to be a carer why dosnt he go into that profession and get paid for it instead of getting moaned at by you


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

harley bear said:


> ok so your living on fresh air? and your oh is your 'carer'.


You don't have to get paid to be a carer

And no, I didn't say we live off fresh air, we get WTC


----------



## loubyfrog (Feb 29, 2012)

Tinks may be claiming Disability living allowance (DLA)

That isn't means tested and you can earn a wage and receive DLA too.

Just hope your putting money away for your tax and N.I with your Ebaying funds Tinks.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

witchyone said:


> from what I have read so far on here you and your bf don't seem to like each other that much. So why are you together ? You don't want a physical relationship with him and tbh I cant understand why a red blooded male is with someone who dosnt want to get close  Sorry to be blunt but does he or you have learning difficulties ??? Or both of you ? Sorry but I cannot for the life of me get my head round your relationship. If he wants to be a carer why dosnt he go into that profession and get paid for it instead of getting moaned at by you


No, neither of us have LDs

We do have a physical relationship just not full sex

I want it on record (for when someone kicks off) I did not bring up my physical relationship with my partner

And I do like him, in fact I love him but it's not good all the time, no relationship is! Some rant to friends or family, she write a diary, I rant on here


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

Did you see my pm tinks?


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> You don't have to get paid to be a carer
> 
> And no, I didn't say we live off fresh air, we get WTC


So what is it you sell on ebay? I want in! You must make an absolute fortune to work part time, earn enough so your oh doesnt have to work etc etc etc...
OHhhhh just a thought ONLY you could get tax credits if you are working..if you qualify for tax credits on a part time wage then you are very much likely to be entitled to ALOT of housing benefit.....

and alsoooooo your OH would have to be claiming JSA to get his NI paid as the tax credits wouldnt support him staying at home if there were no children to look after...... soooooo to qualify as a 'carer' then you would have to be on some sort of incapacity benefit.

:001_tongue:


----------



## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

as you are together 24/7, and probably in the same room most of the time, the chances are he would read all this. Poor bloke. It must be demoralising. What does her say?

And to redress the balance, tell us some of his good points. 

When you are at home 24/7, how do you spend your time? Any shared hobbies?


----------



## cinnamontoast (Oct 24, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> But that's it, we aren't missing out on things
> 
> There's nothing we are missing out on


You're living an artificial, 24/7 together relationship. I'm amazed you can sustain it.

And if your bf is your full time carer, not doing another job, then he must be receiving benefits of some kind (to which he's entitled). If you are disabled, then why aren't you receiving DLA? I can't imagine living in a council flat allows you to store lots to sell on eBay and do you go to the Post Office constantly cos you never mention that at all.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

harley bear said:


> So what is it you sell on ebay? I want in! You must make an absolute fortune to work part time, earn enough so your oh doesnt have to work etc etc etc...
> OHhhhh just a thought ONLY you could get tax credits if you are working..if you qualify for tax credits on a part time wage then you are very much likely to be entitled to ALOT of housing benefit.....
> 
> and alsoooooo your OH would have to be claiming JSA to get his NI paid as the tax credits wouldnt support him staying at home if there were no children to look after...... soooooo to qualify as a 'carer' then you would have to be on some sort of incapacity benefit.
> ...


You don't know much do you, we have a couples claim for WTC that's working tax credits

He's not a carer that gets paid


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

Goodness me! Is this still going?? 

It was just a row..

What does your oh do when you are on the Internet tinks? Maybe switch off for a while and spend some time with him, building your relationship rather than dissecting it on here!


----------



## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

People getting DLA or ESA are allowed to earn or work 16 hours a week I believe


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> You don't know much do you, we have a couples claim for WTC that's working tax credits
> 
> He's not a carer that gets paid


Yes you can have a couples claim but he would have to be working also..and he wouldnt be getting his NI paid if YOU are the one working and claiming the wtc on his behalf.

So if hes a carer that doesnt get paid, IF you are disabled then why doesnt he go through the correct channels and claim as a carer?

Or are you making your life up as you go along?


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

Maybe its best to keep your personal life off the forum tinks in terms of how you live etc, someone could report you


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

Like i said what are you selling?

and please do explain how you can calculate your hours and prove what you have worked to actually qualify selling tat on ebay as a job?


----------



## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

Tinks, you said your mantra is to treat people as they treat you.

My mantra is:
Treat people the same way as you, yourself, would like to be treated.


----------



## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

harley bear said:


> So what is it you sell on ebay? I want in! You must make an absolute fortune to work part time, earn enough so your oh doesnt have to work etc etc etc...
> OHhhhh just a thought ONLY you could get tax credits if you are working..if you qualify for tax credits on a part time wage then you are very much likely to be entitled to ALOT of housing benefit.....
> 
> and alsoooooo your OH would have to be claiming JSA to get his NI paid as the tax credits wouldnt support him staying at home if there were no children to look after...... soooooo to qualify as a 'carer' then you would have to be on some sort of incapacity benefit.
> ...


To be a carer and get carers allowance you need..

To earn less than £100 per week
To care for someone whom receives middle or higher rate dla
And if you do qualify for carers allowance then you do get your ni contributions paid.

So there you go!


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

Tink you really ought to be claiming DLA if you struggle with walking. If your oh got sick who would look after you?


----------



## witchyone (Dec 16, 2011)

In the words of dragons den, i'm out


----------



## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

jaycee05 said:


> People getting DLA or ESA are allowed to earn or work 16 hours a week I believe


DLA is not means tested or based on how many hours you do or dont work. You get it if you need more care than someone else.


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

Summersky said:


> as you are together 24/7, and probably in the same room most of the time, the chances are he would read all this. Poor bloke. It must be demoralising. What does her say?
> 
> And to redress the balance, tell us some of his good points.
> 
> When you are at home 24/7, how do you spend your time? Any shared hobbies?


yeah this!! I work as a carer and I am bloody good at what I do, and as most people who do this work know even though we do make a difference, we are very unappreciated and always hear what we don't do or haven't done and its frustrating , where as when you hear that one word thank you or a complement it makes a huge difference!

I couldn't imagine doing it 24/7 and being criticised all the time, now that would be frustrating.


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

harley bear said:


> Like i said what are you selling?
> 
> and please do explain how you can calculate your hours and prove what you have worked to actually qualify selling tat on ebay as a job?


With respect HB...it's not really your business. I don't think it is right for anybody to be discussing the ins and outs of benefits on the internet.

It's like somebody asking you how much your Husband earns and if he pays tax, national insurance, etc.

Salaries/benefits are a personal subject and this thread is about Tink having a row with her OH...nothing to do with benefits


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

BenBoy said:


> Maybe its best to keep your personal life off the forum tinks in terms of how you live etc, *someone could report you*


By which you are implying that she is doing something illegal ???


----------



## vickie1985 (Feb 18, 2009)

oh well do this every day!! We did it twice today already and i didnt get home from work until 3pm...

I cant even remember why now lol. Most likely thought we was been snappy or nasty! usually is that!


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

jaycee05 said:


> People getting DLA or ESA are allowed to earn or work 16 hours a week I believe


There is no limit to how many hours you can work on DLA, as far as I know.

ESA I am not at all sure about but surely if you are getting ESA, it means you are incapable of work ??? Happy to be corrected.


----------



## Guest (Oct 6, 2013)

For goodness sake!

This is how it actually is on a Tinks thread.

''Squeeeeeeeeeeee look at meeeeeeeee, I have nothing better to do, so I'll give Tinks a hard time, constantly''


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

SirHiss said:


> For goodness sake!
> 
> This is how it actually is on a Tinks thread.
> 
> ''Squeeeeeeeeeeee look at meeeeeeeee, I have nothing better to do, so I'll give Tinks a hard time, constantly''


LOL think of the grief her poor OH gets...thats if she actually has one :huh:


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

chichi said:


> By which you are implying that she is doing something illegal ???


Oh no I wasn't implying that at all, should have worded it better. I just meant if people got the wrong end of the stick or something like that


----------



## Guest (Oct 6, 2013)

harley bear said:


> LOL think of the grief her poor OH gets...thats if she actually has one :huh:


I don't doubt she has one. It's probably six a dozen of one and half a dozen of the other, whose to know what he would say if he were here? He might just think or say the same things about her.



BenBoy said:


> Oh no I wasn't implying that at all


I think you were.

Your like a dog with a bone, it's boring.


----------



## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

jaycee05 said:


> People getting DLA or ESA are allowed to earn or work 16 hours a week I believe


DLA isnt means tested ESA is


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

BenBoy said:


> Oh no I wasn't implying that at all, should have worded it better. I just meant if people got the wrong end of the stick or something like that


Oh okay but I think it would be pretty awkward for somebody to report "Tinktinktinkerbell" as I don't think that's Ops real name


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

SirHiss said:


> I don't doubt she has one. It's probably six a dozen of one and half a dozen of the other, whose to know what he would say if he were here? He might just think or say the same things about her.
> 
> I think you were.
> 
> Your like a dog with a bone, it's boring.


Think what u like


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

witchyone said:


> In the words of dragons den, i'm out


Wait for me!

(chases after Witchy, gasping for breath because slightly unfit and more than slightly fat)

Are we going to the pub? Can I have pork scratchings?


----------



## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

harley bear said:


> LOL think of the grief her poor OH gets...thats if she actually has one :huh:


Yeah cos your OH hit the jackpot with you aint he? !!


----------



## MissShelley (May 9, 2010)

BenBoy said:


> Oh no I wasn't implying that at all, should have worded it better. I just meant if people got the wrong end of the stick or something like that


But you'd have to be a very sad person to go reporting someone to the DLA on the back of something you have read on the internet... And you's have to have a lot more detail than what Tinks has offered out. All you'd do is make yourself look like the biggest berk going.


----------



## Guest (Oct 6, 2013)

BenBoy said:


> Think what u like


Written words, speak volumes.

Your inability to stay off a Tinks thread, when it's very obvious what you think, also speaks volumes.


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

gorgeous said:


> Yeah cos your OH hit the jackpot with you aint he? !!


And you mean what by that?


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Summersky said:


> as you are together 24/7, and probably in the same room most of the time, the chances are he would read all this. Poor bloke. It must be demoralising. What does her say?
> 
> And to redress the balance, tell us some of his good points.
> 
> When you are at home 24/7, how do you spend your time? Any shared hobbies?


His good points below

Hobbies, shared ones

Watching films on DVD/TV, playing wii, going to the cinema, going out for a meal, playing with pets

He also likes computer games, astrology, weight training and he plays guitar

I like reading and nail art



tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Ok well.....
> 
> He's good with the pets, it's cute when he's showing them around the flat :laugh:
> 
> ...


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

chichi said:


> Oh okay but I think it would be pretty awkward for somebody to report "Tinktinktinkerbell" as I don't think that's Ops real name


Good point, it isn't hard to trace someone tho nowadays, unfortunately


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

SirHiss said:


> Written words, speak volumes.
> 
> Your inability to stay off a Tinks thread, when it's very obvious what you think, also speaks volumes.


What do I think, please enlighten me?


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

SirHiss said:


> For goodness sake!
> 
> This is how it actually is on a Tinks thread.
> 
> ''Squeeeeeeeeeeee look at meeeeeeeee, I have nothing better to do, so I'll give Tinks a hard time, constantly''


I don't think that's the case I think people are just sick of seeing threads by tink that just don't add up and escalate quickly for then people to be called bullies I know nobody has been called a bully yet but am sure that will be next and get told they victimise her. It's getting beyond a joke if your not happy with your partner leave because am almost sure you won't find another one that will willingly care for you 24/7

Right off my soap box now am out too and think will use the ignore button from now!


----------



## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

harley bear said:


> And you mean what by that?


Why are you confused?

Some of your comments to Tinks are rather below the belt.

And I do not like to see the vulnerable bullied..never have done and never will!

I have read many of your posts and it has brought me to the conclusion that yes your man is very lucky!!


----------



## witchyone (Dec 16, 2011)

lostbear said:


> Wait for me!
> 
> (chases after Witchy, gasping for breath because slightly unfit and more than slightly fat)
> 
> Are we going to the pub? Can I have pork scratchings?


Pub it is then. You can have as many pork scratchings as you like, i'm having cheese and onion crisps. First round is on you though


----------



## Guest (Oct 6, 2013)

CaliDog said:


> I don't think that's the case I think people are just sick of seeing threads by tink that just don't add up and escalate quickly for then people to be called bullies I know nobody has been called a bully yet but am sure that will be next and get told they victimise her. It's getting beyond a joke if your not happy with your partner leave because am almost sure you won't find another one that will willingly care for you 24/4
> 
> Right off my soap box now am out too and think will use the ignore button from now!


Who cares if they do or don't add up, who exactly is she hurting?

It don't hurt or bother me, so why would it hurt or bother anyone else?

It's real obvious to me why threads degenerate.


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

Here we go again


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

gorgeous said:


> Why are you confused?
> 
> Some of your comments to Tinks are rather below the belt.
> 
> ...


Ahhh but you see no one is being bullied..what she bangs on about doesnt add up..


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

BenBoy said:


> Good point, it isn't hard to trace someone tho nowadays, unfortunately


And you think the Authorities would spend days trying to track down "Tinktinktinkerbell" of Petforums, just because somebody with nothing better to do thinks she should be paying more tax on a piddly ebay shop WITHOUT any proof whatsoever, in the world, at all, nothing!

The Tax Man and benefits offices have people fiddling thousands (millions even) so I doubt Pet Forums would be a place for them to search out Tink :huh:


----------



## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

well this is fun.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

nightkitten said:


> Tinks, you said your mantra is to treat people as they treat you.
> 
> My mantra is:
> Treat people the same way as you, yourself, would like to be treated.


True

Even then though it still doesn't work, I gave my all when I cared for him

He got snippy at me because I lost fat this month and he didnt



Lavenderb said:


> Tink you really ought to be claiming DLA if you struggle with walking. If your oh got sick who would look after you?


We would manage



chichi said:


> With respect HB...it's not really your business. I don't think it is right for anybody to be discussing the ins and outs of benefits on the internet.
> 
> It's like somebody asking you how much your Husband earns and if he pays tax, national insurance, etc.
> 
> Salaries/benefits are a personal subject and this thread is about Tink having a row with her OH...nothing to do with benefits


That's why I've stopped answering her



vickie1985 said:


> oh well do this every day!! We did it twice today already and i didnt get home from work until 3pm...
> 
> I cant even remember why now lol. Most likely thought we was been snappy or nasty! usually is that!


Water off a ducks back with you then?



MissShelley said:


> But you'd have to be a very sad person to go reporting someone to the DLA on the back of something you have read on the internet... And you's have to have a lot more detail than what Tinks has offered out. All you'd do is make yourself look like the biggest berk going.


I've already been reported by some sad individuals



CaliDog said:


> I don't think that's the case I think people are just sick of seeing threads by tink that just don't add up and escalate quickly for then people to be called bullies I know nobody has been called a bully yet but am sure that will be next and get told they victimise her. It's getting beyond a joke if your not happy with your partner leave because am almost sure you won't find another one that will willingly care for you 24/7
> 
> Right off my soap box now am out too and think will use the ignore button from now!


I'm not unhappy with him all the time!


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

chichi said:


> And you think the Authorities would spend days trying to track down "Tinktinktinkerbell" of Petforums, just because somebody with nothing better to do thinks she should be paying more tax on a piddly ebay shop WITHOUT any proof whatsoever, in the world, at all, nothing!
> 
> The Tax Man and benefits offices have people fiddling thousands (millions even) so I doubt Pet Forums would be a place for them to search out Tink :huh:


Crikey, I was merely advising Tinks to be careful what she says online.

I think you need to take a chill pill!!!!


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

It would really easy if her name was tinktinktinkerbell


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

harley bear said:


> And you mean what by that?


I could just feel the "how very dare you" vibes coming from that post and yet Tink gets grilled on a daily basis on here. Imagine how she feels :nonod:


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

harley bear said:


> No your claiming disability benefit...which means you are unable to provide your own income as your disabled...selling on ebay is providing yourself with an income


NOT TRUE

DLA is a non means tested benefit; anyone who has a disability can claim regardless of their income.


----------



## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

I get DLA and my husband gets carers allowance


----------



## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

harley bear said:


> Ahhh but you see no one is being bullied..what she bangs on about doesnt add up..


But who is adding it up?

Tinkz is harmless. Just leave her be and stop the mean comments. Its not very attractive.


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

Could do with Murray Walker here


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

Lavenderb said:


> Could do with Murray Walker here


Whose Murray Walker?


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

BenBoy said:


> Crikey, I was merely advising Tinks to be careful what she says online.
> 
> I think you need to take a chill pill!!!!


If I need a chill pill....you need a "mind your own business" pill .... nuff said


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

BenBoy said:


> Whose Murray Walker?


Was just about to ask that lol


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

Lavenderb said:


> Could do with Murray Walker here


Maybe a pit stop is needed


----------



## witchyone (Dec 16, 2011)

CaliDog said:


> I don't think that's the case I think people are just sick of seeing threads by tink that just don't add up and escalate quickly for then people to be called bullies I know nobody has been called a bully yet but am sure that will be next and get told they victimise her. It's getting beyond a joke if your not happy with your partner leave because am almost sure you won't find another one that will willingly care for you 24/7
> 
> Right off my soap box now am out too and think will use the ignore button from now!


how do I find the ignore button ?


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

chichi said:


> If I need a chill pill....you need a "mind your own business" pill .... nuff said


Mind my own business? I was advising her to be careful......I wasn't asking her anything personal!!!!!!!!


----------



## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

Like wimbledon this thread..balls being thrown at all and everyone and at different angles......just waiting for the next one to hit me on my barnet!


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

witchyone said:


> how do I find the ignore button ?


On the wall...socket, switch to off


----------



## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

What a boring world it would be if we didn't have petforums


----------



## tincan (Aug 30, 2012)

Look folks this is how simple it is .....


If you don't like what Tinks posts 

Don't ruddy read or comment on it 

How hard is that :huh: 

Benefits, DLA , Ebay , Dole , DSS , HMRC ..... whatever has SFA to do with her opening thread ... :nonod::nonod:


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Lavenderb said:


> On the wall...socket, switch to off





paddyjulie said:


> What a boring world it would be if we didn't have petforums


:laugh: :laugh:


----------



## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> His good points below
> 
> Hobbies, shared ones
> 
> ...


It's great that you have shared hobbies - and good that you like other stuff too. I'm glad you said he is kind. That's important.

I hope that the original argument has long since blown over.

Sirhiss, You are new to here, and so don't have the history. When you do, it's easier to understand why some people get so fed up. And yes, some people go too far - but others just get exasperated. I don't agree with bullying in any shape or form, but I do understand why people get frustrated when their suggestions are rejected out of hand.


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

Tinks..you may have missed my question 

What does the other half do when you are on the forums?


----------



## Marycat (Jul 29, 2013)

I am ready to smack some arses and not in a kinky way! Naughty forum members. If you think Tinks is attention seeking keep away from her threads! Simples no?


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

In lane 1 we have

Harley Bear......like a bull in front of a red rag this one

In lane 2

Benboy......shes going to bore us all to death


lane 3

Gorgeous....trying to keep calm and order whilst swigging the voddy

lane 4 

tink tink tink who the feck is this thread about anyway


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

_"One day I hope for a world where a Tink thread doesn't get closed"
_
_Bearcub, 2013_


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

BenBoy said:


> Mind my own business? I was advising her to be careful......I wasn't asking her anything personal!!!!!!!!


Sorry, I told you yesterday, where Tink is concerned, I'm not buying the "BB is all sweet, innocent and helpful" story. You have blown hot and cold toward Tink for over a week now.

At least HB comes out, says it how she feel it is. I respect her for that.

You, on the other hand, seem to be slightly underhand...


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

gorgeous said:


> But who is adding it up?
> 
> Tinkz is harmless. Just leave her be and stop the mean comments. Its not very attractive.


I have an opinion so i will say it! Its a free country.

Maybe people should grow a back bone and tell her the truth instead of being silly and pandering to all this bull!

Right tinky tink. You bf doesnt want to know you in the bedroom and is constantly looking elsewhere..You can bet he feels like that because you treat him like total shite and talking about him the way you do is shameful!

You say he hasnt given anything up for you but he chooses to be your carer and he doesnt get a freakin bean for it and on top of that has to put up with all the crap you give him!

Honey your partner deserves a medal for what he does! Start treating him with some respect, change your attitude towards him and he might start to look at you rather than other women.


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

nicolaa123 said:


> Tinks..you may have missed my question
> 
> What does the other half do when you are on the forums?


He quietly works out an escape route....one brick at a time baby


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

witchyone said:


> Pub it is then. You can have as many pork scratchings as you like, i'm having cheese and onion crisps. First round is on you though


Oh, er - I seem to have forgotten my purse . . . (embarrassed cough) . . . any chance of a sub?


----------



## Guest (Oct 6, 2013)

Summersky said:


> It's great that you have shared hobbies - and good that you like other stuff too. I'm glad you said he is kind. That's important.
> 
> I hope that the original argument has long since blown over.
> 
> Sirhiss, You are new to here, and so don't have the history. When you do, it's easier to understand why some people get so fed up. And yes, some people go too far - but others just get exasperated. I don't agree with bullying in any shape or form, but I do understand why people get frustrated when their suggestions are rejected out of hand.


If people are getting fed up then maybe it's time to stop reading any topic opened by Tink, I've been here long enough to see what keeps going on.

It's ugly, spiteful and downright vindictive, those are not nice qualities at all.


----------



## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

Lavenderb said:


> In lane 1 we have
> 
> Harley Bear......like a bull in front of a red rag this one
> 
> ...


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

Lavenderb said:


> He quietly works out an escape route....one brick at a time baby


Oh that really tickled me!! :w00t:


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Summersky said:


> It's great that you have shared hobbies - and good that you like other stuff too. I'm glad you said he is kind. That's important.
> 
> I hope that the original argument has long since blown over.
> 
> Sirhiss, You are new to here, and so don't have the history. When you do, it's easier to understand why some people get so fed up. And yes, some people go too far - but others just get exasperated. I don't agree with bullying in any shape or form, but I do understand why people get frustrated when their suggestions are rejected out of hand.


Yeah it's blown over

Been a bet snippy today, nothing too bad



nicolaa123 said:


> Tinks..you may have missed my question
> 
> What does the other half do when you are on the forums?


Yeah I did sorry

He's on his kindle, reading sites, playing a game etc


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

BenBoy said:


> Whose Murray Walker?


He's retired now, but used to commentate on formula 1 on telly.


----------



## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

Hold on till I pour myself a gin , I'll be back in a sec. 

No fighting.................................. Until I'm back :w00t:


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

harley bear said:


> I have an opinion so i will say it! Its a free country.
> 
> Maybe people should grow a back bone and tell her the truth instead of being silly and pandering to all this bull!
> 
> ...


:laugh: :laugh:


----------



## witchyone (Dec 16, 2011)

lostbear said:


> Oh, er - I seem to have forgotten my purse . . . (embarrassed cough) . . . any chance of a sub?


oh dear, this is getting a habit now isn't it


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

SirHiss said:


> If people are getting fed up then maybe it's time to stop reading any topic opened by Tink, I've been here long enough to see what keeps going on.
> 
> *It's ugly, spiteful and downright vindictive, those are not nice qualities at all.*




Not sure it's got to that as yet!


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

harley bear said:


> I have an opinion so i will say it! Its a free country.
> 
> Maybe people should grow a back bone and tell her the truth instead of being silly and pandering to all this bull! .


This completely people are too scared too speak out and step on egg shells in fear of being called a bully and be banned, or really do belive all this shite. . . . .


----------



## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

nicolaa123 said:


> [/B]
> 
> Not sure it's got to that as yet!


True..I'll admit to reading worse :yikes: :yikes:


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

*


bearcub said:



"One day I hope for a world where a Tink thread doesn't get closed"

Click to expand...

*


bearcub said:


> _
> _
> _Bearcub, 2013_


"_One day I hope for a world where a Tink thread doesn't get posted"

lostbear, 2013_


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

lostbear said:


> *
> 
> "One day I hope for a world where a Tink thread doesn't get posted"
> 
> lostbear, 2013*


*



I have every right to post a thread on here*


----------



## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

Lavenderb said:


> In lane 1 we have
> 
> Harley Bear......like a bull in front of a red rag this one
> 
> ...


Dont mind if i do have a wee drinkie....cheers! Xxx


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Yeah it's blown over
> 
> Been a bet snippy today, nothing too bad
> 
> ...


So you are together doing separate things..hmmmm maybe find a hobby you can do together that way you can build on your relationship..


----------



## Cheryl89 (Jun 24, 2013)

Just one quiet thread peeps. No arguing or anything  general chat should be banned unless it's about knickers or songs :lol: 

Oi I want some pork scratchings please :lol: x


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

Summersky said:


> Sirhiss, You are new to here, and so don't have the history. When you do, it's easier to understand why some people get so fed up. And yes, some people go too far - but others just get exasperated. I don't agree with bullying in any shape or form, but I do understand why people get frustrated when their suggestions are rejected out of hand.


Okay, It's fair to say that in the early days, Tink had many of us pulling our hair out at some of her threads (don't be offended Tink)....often replying to our posts with one line replies and disregarding advice. Yep...been there...felt like shouting at the laptop on many an occasion.

Since then, however, she has explained a lot, opened up to PF members....told of her health condition. She now gives detailed replies...seems to be concerned and caring towards members that don't hound her and generally seems to be doing all she can to make her life better.

There will of course be people that cannot be doing with Tinks threads and that is absolutely fine but why oh why, don't they just pop her on ignore. It's really simple.....


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

witchyone said:


> oh dear, this is getting a habit now isn't it


You dont wanna see how she catches a free lift home at night


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

nicolaa123 said:


> So you are together doing separate things..hmmmm maybe find a hobby you can do together that way you can build on your relationship..


We do, do things together


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

lostbear said:


> *
> 
> "One day I hope for a world where a Tink thread doesn't get posted"
> 
> lostbear, 2013*


*

OMG i nearly spat my cake all over my laptop :thumbup:*


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

paddyjulie said:


> Hold on till I pour myself a gin , I'll be back in a sec.
> 
> No fighting.................................. Until I'm back :w00t:


Hurry up then - we're champing at the bit here.


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

nicolaa123 said:


> So you are together doing separate things..hmmmm maybe find a hobby you can do together that way you can build on your relationship..


Is there something wrong with doing seperate things from your partner all of a sudden?!


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)




----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

nicolaa123 said:


> So you are together doing separate things..hmmmm maybe find a hobby you can do together that way you can build on your relationship..


She tried...explanation on the sailor suit thread


----------



## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

im Just reading and looking online for dog harness i seem to spend my life looking for s$odding harnesses 

I actually dont know why ive just told you all that oh well i am here still lol


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

bearcub said:


> Is there something wrong with doing seperate things from your partner all of a sudden?!


People on here are always telling me I should do thing separate from him lol


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

CaliDog said:


>


Crap! I cant rep you again!!!

NICE ONE


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Nothing I've said on here is bullshit!


----------



## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

lostbear said:


> Hurry up then - we're champing at the bit here.


Done... Poured myself two..so as not to miss anything :w00t:


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

harley bear said:


> Crap! I cant rep you again!!!
> 
> NICE ONE


Thanks for that by the way


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

bearcub said:


> Is there something wrong with doing seperate things from your partner all of a sudden?!


Of course there isn't..it's healthy..

I was asking the question as tink spends a fair amount of time on forums and maybe her and her oh arnt connecting even tho they are together 24/7


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

I'll revise my original statement.

_One day I hope for a pf where people who have an issue with certain posters feck off and go and do something else with their lives_


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

witchyone said:


> oh dear, this is getting a habit now isn't it


Look, just because I've forgotten my purse seven or eight times, or maybe nine or ten - eleven, possibly - okay, okay, this makes twelve, or it could be thirteen - fourteen, tops - definitely not more than fifteen, anyway - there's no need to get snippy!

It was different the time you cadged all my tic-tacs off me . . . (LOL)


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

CaliDog said:


> Thanks for that by the way


Your welcome, you are spot on btw


----------



## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

Just off to see if I can find some popcorn!


----------



## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> People on here are always telling me I should do thing separate from him lol


Well my OH is at work at this very moment and I'm sitting on my arse drinking Gin at home, it works for us


----------



## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

nicolaa123 said:


> So you are together doing separate things..hmmmm maybe find a hobby you can do together that way you can build on your relationship..


My OH is here in same room well he was hes now in bedroom with one of the dogs, but when hes in lounge hes normally either on his lappy or his phone whilst im on my lappy i cant see where there is an issue actually as being in same room but doing own thing :huh:


----------



## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

SirHiss said:


> If people are getting fed up then maybe it's time to stop reading any topic opened by Tink, I've been here long enough to see what keeps going on.
> 
> *It's ugly, spiteful and downright vindictive, those are not nice qualities at all.*


Nothing I say to Tinks is ever any of these. We are not all the same. And yes, sometimes it does go too far - but Tinks does choose to keep comnig back.

People come on the forum for many different reasons - some to share, some to pass a little time, some because they are housebound, alone and oh so lonely, some to try and help a bit, Some to learn, some to have fun, some for attention they don't get elsewhere.

If you really don't like what you read, please flag it up and the mods will look into it.


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I have every right to post a thread on here


I didn't say you hadn't.


----------



## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

Theres a toilet roll thread somewhere


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

paddyjulie said:


> Well my OH is at work at this very moment and I'm sitting on my arse drinking Gin at home, it works for us


Cheers 



LolaBoo said:


> My OH is here in same room well he was hes now in bedroom with one of the dogs, but when hes in lounge hes normally either on his lappy or his phone whilst im on my lappy i cant see where there is an issue actually as being in same room but doing own thing :huh:


Exactly lol

It's not like we do nothing together


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

I find it funny though, with all the nastiness and bitchiness that has gone on, on PF over the last couple of weeks, with people deliberately trying to cause others to be upset and hurt, I saw none of the Tink Hounders (you know who you are) standing up to the "Trolls" yet they will not think twice about coming and giving Tink a good grilling and giving her grief because they don't believe her posts/don't agree with her posts, etc.

I wonder if Tink is an easy target, because she doesn't get nasty...threatening or rude.


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Lavenderb said:


> You dont wanna see how she catches a free lift home at night


You SWORE you wouldn't tell anyone!:scared:


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

chichi said:


> Sorry, I told you yesterday, where Tink is concerned, I'm not buying the "BB is all sweet, innocent and helpful" story. You have blown hot and cold toward Tink for over a week now.
> 
> At least HB comes out, says it how she feel it is. I respect her for that.
> 
> You, on the other hand, seem to be slightly underhand...


So I cant be nice to her as well as sharing my opinion which maybe be a disagreement? I have to be sweet no matter what.....:huh:

I haven't actually said anything horrible to Tinks on this thread!


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

LolaBoo said:


> My OH is here in same room well he was hes now in bedroom with one of the dogs, but when hes in lounge hes normally either on his lappy or his phone whilst im on my lappy i cant see where there is an issue actually as being in same room but doing own thing :huh:


Maybe I have not explained myself properly..

I will try again..

For two people that are with each other 24/7 does not mean that you spend "time" together in a positive way. If they could find something they both enjoyed doing (and not feeling they have to do it to make the other one happy)

Then time together could be spent in a more positive way and the relationship strengthened..

Hope I am clearer this time


----------



## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I have every right to post a thread on here


Of course you do. It livens it up.


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

chichi said:


> I find it funny though, with all the nastiness and bitchiness that has gone on, on PF over the last couple of weeks, with people deliberately trying to cause others to be upset and hurt, I saw none of the Tink Hounders (you know who you are) standing up to the "Trolls" yet they will not think twice about coming and giving Tink a good grilling and giving her grief because they don't believe her posts/don't agree with her posts, etc.
> 
> I wonder if Tink is an easy target, because she doesn't get nasty...threatening or rude.


Any moment now Tink is going to post the Dita smiley....you have been warned:crying:


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

chichi said:


> I find it funny though, with all the nastiness and bitchiness that has gone on, on PF over the last couple of weeks, with people deliberately trying to cause others to be upset and hurt, I saw none of the Tink Hounders (you know who you are) standing up to the "Trolls" yet they will not think twice about coming and giving Tink a good grilling and giving her grief because they don't believe her posts/don't agree with her posts, etc.
> 
> I wonder if Tink is an easy target, because she doesn't get nasty...threatening or rude.


it's not about standing up to trolls I speak my mind and tell it how it is whether that's a troll or regular poster.


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

LolaBoo said:


> My OH is here in same room well he was hes now in bedroom with one of the dogs, but when hes in lounge hes normally either on his lappy or his phone whilst im on my lappy i cant see where there is an issue actually as being in same room but doing own thing :huh:


Think I may start following OH to the toilet, it would be better for our relationship


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

harley bear said:


> Crap! I cant rep you again!!!
> 
> NICE ONE


I can - and have!


----------



## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

nicolaa123 said:


> Maybe I have not explained myself properly..
> 
> I will try again..
> 
> ...


they could get a red room and have bondage sessions .........


----------



## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

Just like you all 2 know ive not took me tablets yet so excuse me ramblings


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

chichi said:


> I find it funny though, with all the nastiness and bitchiness that has gone on, on PF over the last couple of weeks, with people deliberately trying to cause others to be upset and hurt, I saw none of the Tink Hounders (you know who you are) standing up to the "Trolls" yet they will not think twice about coming and giving Tink a good grilling and giving her grief because they don't believe her posts/don't agree with her posts, etc.
> 
> I wonder if Tink is an easy target, because she doesn't get nasty...threatening or rude.


I value being on here and don't want to get banned so I do refrain from saying things

There's soooooo much I want to say! Thank god for the diary on my ipad 



nicolaa123 said:


> Maybe I have not explained myself properly..
> 
> I will try again..
> 
> ...


Again

We do, do things together


----------



## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

bearcub said:


> Think I may start following OH to the toilet, it would be better for our relationship


You mean you don't  I thought that's what partners did


----------



## suewhite (Oct 31, 2009)

Come on be honest you all love Tinks threads why if you did'nt would you keep coming back?:smile5:


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

lostbear said:


> I can - and have!


Why thank you ms lostbear


----------



## EmCHammer (Dec 28, 2009)

Me and OH spend lots of time together but I spend time apart reading tinks threads for some time out 

I don't know why people take it all so seriously - its a forum, real life is whats real to me I come on here to share dog stuff not get obsessed over other peoples lives that I don't know and spend all night posting about them 

Actually I do, its better than telly at the moment on here he said she said - who cares!


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

BenBoy said:


> So I cant be nice to her as well as sharing my opinion which maybe be a disagreement? I have to be sweet no matter what.....:huh:
> 
> I haven't actually said anything horrible to Tinks on this thread!


Over this week you were making snippy comments here and there...then yesterday trying to push a Snow White costume on her (wonderfully kind but strange after nit picking at her).

Then on this thread you implied that someone may report her,,,which to me implies you think she's doing something illegal/immoral, whatever.

I can't keep up with people who change like the wind....


----------



## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

Well I see the witches coven have been convening again!!!! 

6 pages and most of it giving Tinks grief - YET AGAIN!!! Pathetic!!!

Has it occured to anyone that Tinks OH might be a total contol freak and he is getting off on having this woman quite literally at his beck and call????

Everyone goes on about what he has 'given up' to be with her. Tinks tells us he is no different in his lifestyle now than he was before she became so poorly. That speaks VOLUMES to me!!! Having seen 1st hand relationships just like this, it troubles me just how in charge this person is.

Tinks, you may not be aware of his controlling nature, people that closely involved in the relationship rarely are. Give away points are the fact he won't leave an arguement, he follows you if you try to. This is a control mechanism.

He may have you believing that he is doing so much for you but do not be fooled that you are not also feeding his need to be the person in charge. I can see that you try to assert yourself but this results in conflict. You then come here, to vent and hopefully get some support, but due to how you word your posts, it comes over all wrong.

I know that you are in a difficult position and getting out of this situation - if you ever wanted to - would be very difficult. But I have come to believe that your OH is lucky you have not kicked him into touch by now and NOT the other way round.

Big hugs to you hun
xx


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> *I value being on here* and don't want to get banned so I do refrain from saying things
> 
> There's soooooo much I want to say! Thank god for the diary on my ipad
> 
> ...


That's really nice to hear, Tink.

You've got one hell of a thick skin, if I had to read through the sort of crap you get from some people on this forum I think I'd have moved to a remote island with no internet connection by now. 
You put a lot of personal stuff out there but people do obviously want to read it


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

CaliDog said:


> it's not about standing up to trolls I speak my mind and tell it how it is whether that's a troll or regular poster.


Must have missed you and HB on recent threads where certain ex members were calling respected members on here all sorts :wink:


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

chichi said:


> Must have missed you and HB on recent threads where certain ex members were calling respected members on here all sorts :wink:


Ex members? You have totally lost me i have no idea who is who when people come back under different names and tbf i dont really care.


----------



## witchyone (Dec 16, 2011)

lostbear said:


> Look, just because I've forgotten my purse seven or eight times, or maybe nine or ten - eleven, possibly - okay, okay, this makes twelve, or it could be thirteen - fourteen, tops - definitely not more than fifteen, anyway - there's no need to get snippy!
> 
> It was different the time you cadged all my tic-tacs off me . . . (LOL)


More like twenty times, I have been counting  As for the tic tacs, you have mistaken me for someone else you went to the pub with and accidentally forgot your purse. You seem to have a reputation for doing this


----------



## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

LolaBoo said:


> Just like you all 2 know ive not took me tablets yet so excuse me ramblings


ahahaha  ramble on.. ♥ led zep


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

chichi said:


> Must have missed you and HB on recent threads where certain ex members were calling respected members on here all sorts :wink:


Yes I must of missed them I don't have the time to be on here 24/7 :wink: I work 48 hours a week, but I would have spoke my mind then like I am now.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

MoggyBaby said:


> Well I see the witches coven have been convening again!!!!
> 
> 6 pages and most of it giving Tinks grief - YET AGAIN!!! Pathetic!!!
> 
> ...


Thank you

What you say does make sense, I think we are both controlling in a way



bearcub said:


> That's really nice to hear, Tink.
> 
> You've got one hell of a thick skin, if I had to read through the sort of crap you get from some people on this forum I think I'd have moved to a remote island with no internet connection by now.
> You put a lot of personal stuff out there but people do obviously want to read it


Thanks

I mean it, I love being on here


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

chichi said:


> Over this week you were making snippy comments here and there...then yesterday trying to push a Snow White costume on her (wonderfully kind but strange after nit picking at her).
> 
> Then on this thread you implied that someone may report her,,,which to me implies you think she's doing something illegal/immoral, whatever.
> 
> I can't keep up with people who change like the wind....


Tinks wanted to dress up so I offered her a costume that's gathering dust in my spare room....nothing more to it than that.

I am a very open and truthful person, Tinks knows that I think she should lay off posting certain threads to ignite certain responses. Its her choice what she does with that advice.

I think you need to stop trying to read so much into my posts


----------



## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Thank you
> 
> What you say does make sense, I think we are both controlling in a way
> 
> ...


hugs noodle* you keep holding your head up.


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

suewhite said:


> Come on be honest you all love Tinks threads why if you did'nt would you keep coming back?:smile5:


I like the offshoots. Me and a few of the girls are at the pub now, arguing about who pays for the snacks and wondering how we'll get home without money for a taxi. THAT is why I follow Tinks threads . . .


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

harley bear said:


> Ex members? You have totally lost me i have no idea who is who when people come back under different names and tbf i dont really care.


But you do care about what Tink is up to, her ebay shop, her benefits, the outfits she posts, etc?

That is having selective PF interest, if you ask me...you keep out of the dodgy threads, where you might have sh1t slung at you but get well and truly involved in Tink threads, where you can say what you want and will always have another two or three sticky beaks to stand alongside you and have a Tink bashing party :wink:


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Waterlily said:


> hugs noodle* you keep holding your head up.


Oh I will, I won't be bogged down!


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

BenBoy said:


> Tinks wanted to dress up so I offered her a costume that's gathering dust in my spare room....nothing more to it than that.
> 
> I am a very open and truthful person, Tinks knows that I think she should lay off posting certain threads to ignite certain responses. Its her choice what she does with that advice.
> 
> I think you need to stop trying to read so much into my posts


And coming from the person who googled Tink and put one of TINKS photos on Tinks thread. Me thinks you have a sticky beak :wink:


----------



## tincan (Aug 30, 2012)

lostbear said:


> I like the offshoots. Me and a few of the girls are at the pub now, arguing about who pays for the snacks and wondering how we'll get home without money for a taxi. THAT is why I follow Tinks threads . . .


You need a sailor suit lovely  or a corset ..... and bobs your taxi lol


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

chichi said:


> And coming from the person who googled Tink and put one of TINKS photos on Tinks thread. Me thinks you have a sticky beak :wink:


Yes I was open and truthful that I googled Tinks! As said before, I am certainly not the only one!


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

Tinks..what about counselling? Would you and the other half be up for that?


----------



## cinnamontoast (Oct 24, 2010)

lostbear said:


> Oh, er - I seem to have forgotten my purse . . . (embarrassed cough) . . . any chance of a sub?


Come to my place! I'm making Werthers dishwasher vodka, this expresso and peach vodka in the freezer, red wine and litres and litres of bourbon. It's the OH's, but he won't mind as long as he can take the mick out of your accent.


----------



## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

BenBoy said:


> Yes I was open and truthful that I googled Tinks! As said before,* I am certainly not the only one*!


Oh well, that makes is all alright then doesn't it!!!!!


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

CaliDog said:


> Yes I must of missed them I don't have the time to be on here 24/7 :wink: I work 48 hours a week, but I would have spoke my mind then like I am now.


Nobody makes you come onto Tinks threads if they get to you, especially with all those long hours you work; I'm sure you need to chill :wink:


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

nicolaa123 said:


> Tinks..what about counselling? Would you and the other half be up for that?


OH no

Me, I'm going to see the doc to get referred for my insecurity


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

chichi said:


> But you do care about what Tink is up to, her ebay shop, her benefits, the outfits she posts, etc?
> 
> That is having selective PF interest, if you ask me...you keep out of the dodgy threads, where you might have sh1t slung at you but get well and truly involved in Tink threads, where you can say what you want and will always have another two or three sticky beaks to stand alongside you and have a Tink bashing party :wink:


I keep out of the dodgy threads? do i? i very rarely come on here these days and miss all the shite slinging so you obvioudly have no clue what you are talking about!

Anyone who knows anything about me will know i will say what i think no matter which thread i am on! You know why? because i dont talk bull!


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> OH no
> 
> Me, I'm going to see the doc to get referred for my insecurity


That's good for you..shame about him as I think it would really help you both as a couple..


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

BenBoy said:


> Yes I was open and truthful that I googled Tinks! As said before, I am certainly not the only one!


I couldn't be bothered to google a member, unless I thought they were some paedo or rapist, then maybe I'd dig deep in case somebody got hurt. Tink is completely harmless...I am sure most would agree on that.


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

BenBoy said:


> Yes I was open and truthful that I googled Tinks! As said before, I am certainly not the only one!


After hearing on here that she has been banned from a number of forums curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know why so I have Googled her today and she was found out to be a lying troll and was banned from a few forums.


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

witchyone said:


> More like twenty times, I have been counting  As for the tic tacs, you have mistaken me for someone else you went to the pub with and accidentally forgot your purse. You seem to have a reputation for doing this


No - it was definitely you. Don't you remember, you were trying to slip a roofie into Billy No-Teeth's drink, but you'd run out so you whinged on until I gave you me tic-tacs. They were lemon and lime ones, too - my favourite.

Did they work BTW? You never said.:thumbup::wink5:


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

MoggyBaby said:


> Oh well, that makes is all alright then doesn't it!!!!!


Why isn't it alright?! its a free country and if Tinks was shy then she wouldn't be all over the net!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Guest (Oct 6, 2013)

BenBoy said:


> Tinks wanted to dress up so I offered her a costume that's gathering dust in my spare room....nothing more to it than that.
> 
> I am a very open and truthful person, Tinks knows that I think she should lay off posting certain threads to ignite certain responses. Its her choice what she does with that advice.
> 
> I think you need to stop trying to read so much into my posts


Why should she refrain from posting what she wants just because you feel it is best?

Over the past few days I have seen some of the nastiest things said, not just directed towards Tinks but to others, some of the most nasty expletives littering this place directed towards other human beings.

I'm quite mindful there are younger members here, what is all the vitriol here teaching them? It's definitely not cool, or okay.


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

harley bear said:


> I keep out of the dodgy threads? do i? i very rarely come on here these days and miss all the shite slinging so you obvioudly have no clue what you are talking about!
> 
> Anyone who knows anything about me will know i will say what i think no matter which thread i am on! You know why? because i dont talk bull!


Well, you have been around enough to give Tink a good bashing over this weekend, have you not.

Thanks for not talking bull :wink:


----------



## CaliDog (Jun 3, 2012)

chichi said:


> Nobody makes you come onto Tinks threads if they get to you, especially with all those long hours you work; I'm sure you need to chill :wink:


No they don't but I enjoy this forum as do many others so browse various threads and am perfectly calm thank you :w00t:


----------



## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

chichi said:


> Well, you have been around enough to give Tink a good bashing over this weekend, have you not.
> 
> Thanks for not talking bull :wink:


Over the last few months my life has been manic and i have only popped on a few times and mainly in the bump buddies thread.

TBF i couldnt give a shite what you believe or dont.


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

tincan said:


> You need a sailor suit lovely  or a corset ..... and bobs your taxi lol


They are both outfits that would benefit the voluptuous woman . . . Yeah, okay, I'll give it a go.

Benboy - you still got that Snow White kit goin' beggin'?


----------



## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

You and I, and a little toy shop
Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got
Set them free at the break of dawn
'Til one by one, they were gone

Back at base, bugs in the software
Flash the message, "Some thing's out there"
Floating in the summer sky
Ninety-nine red balloons go by

Ninety-nine red balloons
Floating in the summer sky
Panic lads, it's a red alert
There's something here from somewhere else

The war machine springs to life
Opens up one eager eye
Focusing it on the sky
Ninety-nine red balloons go by

Ninety-nine Decision Street
Ninety-nine ministers meet
To worry, worry, super-scurry
Call the troops out in a hurry

This is what we've waiting for
This is it boys, this is war
The President is on the line
As ninety-nine red balloons go by

Ninety-nine knights of the air
Riding super high-tech jet fighters
Everyone's a super hero
Everyone's a Captain Kirk

With orders to identify, to clarify and classify
Scrambling in the summer sky
As ninety-nine red balloons go by
Ninety-nine red balloons go by

Ninety-nine dreams I have had
Every one a red balloon
Now it's all over and I'm standin' pretty
In this dust that was a city

If I could find a souvenir
Just to prove the world was here
And here is a red balloon
I think of you and let it go


----------



## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> OH no
> 
> Me, I'm going to see the doc to get referred for my insecurity


Not just your insecurity hun. You live in a very isolated environment with just one other person to give you support. But that support may very well be purely on his terms. I would suggest this be looked at too. This control is also a form of abuse but one that is much harder to identify because the controller is usually very manipulative.

You say you are also controlling but I disagree with that. I think you may try to assert yourself to try and maintain some form of identity & independence but your OH feels threatened by this and so retaliates. His recent 'oggling' of beauties in front of you at the same time you are trying to lose weight and do more with yourself.... It's so clear now I am ashamed I didn't see this before.


----------



## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

[youtube_browser]xyshsGOnFHg[/youtube_browser]


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

SirHiss said:


> Why should she refrain from posting what she wants just because you feel it is best?
> 
> Over the past few days I have seen some of the nastiest things said, not just directed towards Tinks but to others, some of the most nasty expletives littering this place directed towards other human beings.
> 
> I'm quite mindful there are younger members here, what is all the vitriol here teaching them? It's definitely not cool, or okay.


I said it was up to her whether to take my advice or not, my point was to stop the nasty comments towards her from posting certain threads about her OH or her disability which always seem to ignite certain comments following on from threads before, before I was even on here. But these comments don't seem to bother her, so fair enough.

I haven't said anything nasty over the past few days.


----------



## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

Right so who now has 99 red balloons stuck in their head mwahahaha


----------



## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

harley bear said:


> Over the last few months my life has been manic and i have only popped on a few times and mainly in the bump buddies thread.
> 
> TBF i couldnt give a shite what you believe or dont.


You are such a pleasant member HB. When you need a shoulder to have a rant or a bit of support on here, perhaps you'll think back to this weekend, when you have been a complete b1tch to Tink.....sorry......but like you, I speak my mind, no matter who it is.

Tbh, the HB Ive seen on these Tink threads, is not the HB I thought I knew. Perhaps I had you wrong


----------



## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

lostbear said:


> They are both outfits that would benefit the voluptuous woman . . . Yeah, okay, I'll give it a go.
> 
> Benboy - you still got that Snow White kit goin' beggin'?


Yep that's if your being serious :001_tongue:


----------



## oliviarussian (Sep 2, 2010)

Waterlily said:


> [youtube_browser]xyshsGOnFHg[/youtube_browser]


that's the best thing I have seen all year! :lol::lol:


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

cinnamontoast said:


> Come to my place! I'm making Werthers dishwasher vodka, this expresso and peach vodka in the freezer, red wine and litres and litres of bourbon. It's the OH's, but he won't mind as long as he can take the mick out of your accent.


Aaah! Thanks pet - ahl be alang inna minit. Sound like w' goanna have a great neet in!

Y' OH can laff at uz as much uz 'e likes as long as keeps pourin' :wink:

Burree might be a bit disappointed, like, cos Ah divvent hev un axunt. 'E cun laff at me pashun fu' pork scratchin's iffi likes.


----------



## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

chichi said:


> You are such a pleasant member HB. When you need a shoulder to have a rant or a bit of support on here, perhaps you'll think back to this weekend, when you have been a complete b1tch to Tink.....sorry......but like you, I speak my mind, no matter who it is.
> 
> *Tbh, the HB Ive seen on these Tink threads, is not the HB I thought I knew. Perhaps I had you wrong*


I think maybe just a bit slower than others have been....


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## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

MoggyBaby said:


> Not just your insecurity hun. You live in a very isolated environment with just one other person to give you support. But that support may very well be purely on his terms. I would suggest this be looked at too. This control is also a form of abuse but one that is much harder to identify because the controller is usually very manipulative.
> 
> You say you are also controlling but I disagree with that. I think you may try to assert yourself to try and maintain some form of identity & independence but your OH feels threatened by this and so retaliates. His recent 'oggling' of beauties in front of you at the same time you are trying to lose weight and do more with yourself.... It's so clear now I am ashamed I didn't see this before.


But to also balance this out..we do only hear tinks side of the story..not that I am saying she is lying..

No-one really knows what goes on behind closed doors..

For all we know tinks could have him chained up 

I hope the doctor can help you tink!


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## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

I think the 'The shiteth hath hitteth the fan'...............Wanders of to the toilet roll thread


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

chichi said:


> You are such a pleasant member HB. When you need a shoulder to have a rant or a bit of support on here, perhaps you'll think back to this weekend, when you have been a complete b1tch to Tink.....sorry......but like you, I speak my mind, no matter who it is.
> 
> Tbh, the HB Ive seen on these Tink threads, is not the HB I thought I knew. Perhaps I had you wrong


I have learnt a lesson over the last 24 hours about the people on this forum..i will no longer be talking to anyone about anything to do with my personal life. 
I do not seek attention and i do not make up total bull about my life.

I pity the people on here who are following her about like lost sheep, its beyond silly.


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## witchyone (Dec 16, 2011)

lostbear said:


> No - it was definitely you. Don't you remember, you were trying to slip a roofie into Billy No-Teeth's drink, but you'd run out so you whinged on until I gave you me tic-tacs. They were lemon and lime ones, too - my favourite.
> 
> Did they work BTW? You never said.:thumbup::wink5:


Its all been selectively blanked from my memory banks now. last thing I remember is you handing me orange tic tacs as you gracefully slid from the bar stool and ended up on the floor with you legs in the air, yet again  Honestly these evenings out with you are getting a bit repetitive. We are running out of pubs to go to now because of your habit of lying on the floor with your knickers on show  We are banned from every pub in town, happy now


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

harley bear said:


> I have learnt a lesson over the last 24 hours about the people on this forum..i will no longer be talking to anyone about anything to do with my personal life.
> I do not seek attention and i do not make up total bull about my life.
> 
> I pity the people on here who are following her about like lost sheep, its beyond silly.


Are you jealous?


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2013)

harley bear said:


> I have learnt a lesson over the last 24 hours about the people on this forum..i will no longer be talking to anyone about anything to do with my personal life.
> I do not seek attention and i do not make up total bull about my life.
> 
> I pity the people on here who are following her about like lost sheep, its beyond silly.


Nice assumption, quite wrong.

I pity people who just can't leave it.

Live and let live.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

nicolaa123 said:


> That's good for you..shame about him as I think it would really help you both as a couple..


He's not really a counselling type of person, he's a bit meh about me going



CaliDog said:


> After hearing on here that she has been banned from a number of forums curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know why so I have Googled her today and she was found out to be a lying troll and was banned from a few forums.


Lying - no
Troll - no
Banned - yes
Opinionated - hell yes
Not a sheeple - farm right!



MoggyBaby said:


> Not just your insecurity hun. You live in a very isolated environment with just one other person to give you support. But that support may very well be purely on his terms. I would suggest this be looked at too. This control is also a form of abuse but one that is much harder to identify because the controller is usually very manipulative.
> 
> You say you are also controlling but I disagree with that. I think you may try to assert yourself to try and maintain some form of identity & independence but your OH feels threatened by this and so retaliates. His recent 'oggling' of beauties in front of you at the same time you are trying to lose weight and do more with yourself.... It's so clear now I am ashamed I didn't see this before.


Oh moggy, you don't know the half of it I'm controlling as hell

I don't like him looking at other women, if there is a program about it in TV or a film with half naked women on I will go in a mood

I won't let him watch porn

Yeah writing that I am lucky to have him 

That said, I do kinda agree with you about the looking at other females thing, I think he enjoys me being upset about that


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

nicolaa123 said:


> But to also balance this out..we do only hear tinks side of the story..not that I am saying she is lying..
> 
> No-one really knows what goes on behind closed doors..
> 
> ...


Indeed she may. But everyone is much quicker to believe the worst rather than thinking this could be a girl who really, really needs our support.



harley bear said:


> I have learnt a lesson over the last 24 hours about the people on this forum..i will no longer be talking to anyone about anything to do with my personal life.
> *I do not seek attention* and i do not make up total bull about my life.
> 
> I pity the people on here who are following her about like lost sheep, its beyond silly.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

.


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

bearcub said:


> Are you jealous?


Are you being serious?

yeah course i am... :w00t:


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Oh moggy, you don't know the half of it I'm controlling as hell
> 
> I don't like him looking at other women, if there is a program about it in TV or a film with half naked women on I will go in a mood
> 
> ...


daffuq :huh:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Waterlily said:


> [youtube_browser]xyshsGOnFHg[/youtube_browser]


You know these fighting grannies are specially bred for it, don't you? They're kept in horrendous conditions and goaded with scones kept just out of their reach until they are mad with rage, then they're set against each other. I'm putting together a petition to have this cruel 'sport' banned. At present it is self-regulated, so you can imagine how little regulation there actually is.

STOP THE CRUELTY - VOTE "GRANDMA"!


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Oh moggy, you don't know the half of it I'm controlling as hell
> 
> I don't like him looking at other women, if there is a program about it in TV or a film with half naked women on I will go in a mood
> 
> ...


Errrr Tinks, may I suggest you edit the above post as I have done before the coven jump on it and give you more grief. Too much info hun...


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

harley bear said:


> I have learnt a lesson over the last 24 hours about the people on this forum..i will no longer be talking to anyone about anything to do with my personal life.
> I do not seek attention and i do not make up total bull about my life.
> 
> I pity the people on here who are following her about like lost sheep, its beyond silly.


I don't make up bull or attention seek either


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## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I won't let him watch porn
> 
> I won't let him masturbate
> 
> ...


I cant believe u said the M word :nonod:


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

harley bear said:


> Are you being serious?
> 
> yeah course i am... :w00t:


You do sound a bit irrationally p!ssed off though


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> He's not really a counselling type of person, he's a bit meh about me going
> 
> Lying - no
> Troll - no
> ...


phahahahahahahaha


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## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

Waterlily said:


> daffuq :huh:


Don't read such posts Lils (I have put my sunglasses on, lol)


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

MoggyBaby said:


> Errrr Tinks, may I suggest you edit the above post as I have done before the coven jump on it and give you more grief. Too much info hun...


Done

Just wanted you to see it works both ways


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## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

Why on earth don't you let him do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

BenBoy said:


> I cant believe u said the M word :nonod:


Haha, this is Tink....expect the unexpected. Gotta love her


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

chichi said:


> Don't read such posts Lils (I have put my sunglasses on, lol)


no no I was just thinking how much I personally would miss it :001_tongue:


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## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

BenBoy said:


> I cant believe u said the M word :nonod:


At least she was being polite..she could have said a whole lot worse :lol: :lol:


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## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

Whats masturbate

Does it involve socks


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

BenBoy said:


> Why on earth don't you let him do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


She wants to do it for him.....but he wont let her :w00t:


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

BenBoy said:


> Why on earth don't you let him do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I feel it's disrespectful to do that while your partner is in the next room



chichi said:


> Haha, this is Tink....expect the unexpected. Gotta love her


It's like sex and the city

Some of you are a bunch of Charlottes and I'm Samantha   :laugh:


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

harley bear said:


> She wants to do it for him.....but he wont let her :w00t:


Actually he does sweetheart


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

I am nearly pissing myself at this thread, so fkn funny.


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Actually he does sweetheart


Well what are all these threads about then?

Aww my oh dont want me near him hes always looking at other women blady bla


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## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Actually he does sweetheart


:yikes:


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

harley bear said:


> She wants to do it for him.....but he wont let her :w00t:


From the same person who thought fit to moan about a sailor outfit.....

Double standards or what??


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

witchyone said:


> Its all been selectively blanked from my memory banks now. last thing I remember is you handing me orange tic tacs as you gracefully slid from the bar stool and ended up on the floor with you legs in the air, yet again  Honestly these evenings out with you are getting a bit repetitive. We are running out of pubs to go to now because of your habit of *lying on the floor with your knickers on show * We are banned from every pub in town, happy now


At least I've got some on, pet - your handbag must be full of your smalls by now - I'm surprised you can get it shut!:lol:

Anyway - seeing as we're barred everywhere, d'ye fancy coming to Cinnamontoast's with us? She's making Werther's Vodka in the dishwasher and she's very hospitable - if I give her a buzz and ask I'm sure she'll be happy to have you round. After all she hasn't met you yet, so she won't know any better. Plus, if she's okay with me going round, she can't have many - er, any - objections to you. :thumbup:


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## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

Sex in the city 
Hmm get ya ding dong cold well i suppose it goes pinggggggggg


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2013)

Think I am going to exit this now before the other half starts getting any ideas :w00t:


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Waterlily said:


> I am nearly pissing myself at this thread, so fkn funny.


Tena Lady Extra 10S - Herbal Health Pharmacy


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## Jenny1966 (Feb 7, 2011)

Is it just me, or has this forum gone crazy :nonod:


I don't think I've ever seen it so bad ....... though I'm sure there are some people who will say it has been  




I think general chat has become worse than cat chat, cat breeding, dog chat, dog breeding all together 



On another forum I used to be on, when things got really bad, the mods shut the site down ...... first for a day, then 2 days, then a week ...... people soon learnt that the crap had to stop


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Actually he does sweetheart


You go Tink!!!!! :thumbup:


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## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

LolaBoo said:


> Whats masturbate
> 
> Does it involve socks


Apparently that's the safe way to do it


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

harley bear said:


> Well what are all these threads about then?
> 
> Aww my oh dont want me near him hes always looking at other women blady bla


I never once said he doesn't want me near him


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

So you admit your a to$$er? :w00t:


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## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

harley bear said:


> *I have learnt a lesson over the last 24 hours about the people on this forum..i will no longer be talking to anyone about anything to do with my personal life. *
> I do not seek attention and i do not make up total bull about my life.
> 
> I pity the people on here who are following her about like lost sheep, its beyond silly.


That's a shame if you let a couple of threads cloud your opinion of people on a forum that are actually quite fond of you.

If I am one of the sheep to which you refer, I'd like to think I just show Tink a bit of kindness, as an older woman (probs old enough to be her Mum - only just mind, lol), who sees she just needs a bit of support at times. Not much to give really, is it.


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## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

Ahhh abit of light sunday entertainment


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I never once said he doesn't want me near him


Tell him if he keeps doing it himself he will get hairy palms


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

harley bear said:


> So you admit your a to$$er? :w00t:


dammit i tried not to laugh.. but alas:blush:


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## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

Your buggered if theres holes in the socks


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

I think this has gone on for long enough


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