# Still regret getting puppy after 4 months...will it stop?



## Skinnywhippet

I've had my girl 4 months now, from 9wks old. By most standards she's a "good" pup - toilet trained quickly, non destructive. We had big issues early on with separation but are making progress, provided I follow a tediously fixed routine prior to leaving her (walk, feed, wait for her to settle -takes about 90 mins) she's ok for 2hrs.

Problem is, I still wish I didn't have her. I have mild depression /anxiety issues and one of the reasons for getting her was to help me live in the moment more and hopefully be more relaxed and happier. It's *so* not worked out that way.

I had a huge bout of anxiety the first week we got her cos she whined all the time, screamed when I left the room & I was worried about neighbours freaking out. Since then I've spent hours every day working on her routine , crate training her (in literally 5second increments to start with as she didn't take to it easily) reading stuff, socialising her, walking her. Spent a fortune on kit and meds and vet bills and behaviourist and doggy daycare when I need to be out.

I think I may just be wrong for having a dog. When I think about her I just see a huge burden of responsibility and a decade of endless picking up poo, worrying about her behaviour (latest talent is stealing picnics from people in the park where i exercise her, so even walking her is stressful as i'm on alert for small children she might lick, food she'll steal, other dogs which might not be friendly. All being worked on in training but in the mean time i get yelled at a lot!), and never being able to go anywhere - I'm scared to leave her anywhere overnight in case it screws up our hard won sleeping thru the night routine. I'm sick of turning down social invitations and wracking my brain for how to work around her ...she also gets travel sick badly and needs meds 2hrs before any trip more than 10mins, so what with that and the sep anx training and the normal exercising schedule, every day has to be planned like a flaming military operation.

Sorry for the venty ramble; I know most people would not be bothered by any of this, but I feel totally trapped and miserable! Rehoming isn't really an option unless I want to risk my relationship, as o/h doesn't want to be *that* person...tho his help is limited to the 10pm potty trip cos he's busy earning our living. Everyone says "yeah but you'd not be without her, right?" and I think yes, I totally would, if I could just turn the clock back.

So, did anyone else feel so negative about their dog after this long? I know it's me as much as (or more than) her, but what would your advice be?


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## catz4m8z

I think everyone goes through 'what have I done' phases after getting a new pup and it can last quite a while. I do recognize alot of the behaviours mentioned though!! esp the picnics (can still remember someone shouting "that dog stole my chips!!") and the car sickness (last car journey saw me soaked to the underwear in vomit from all 3 dogs!).
Why not try and think of all the positive things about your pup. There must be somethings you like about her!


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## cinnamontoast

I had massive puppy blues, got two springer brothers, one is a 'hard' dog and I cried over the fence to the neighbour regularly! It turned around and became easy once I found a good trainer and once they grew up a bit. It probably will get better, you have to wait it out, frankly or talk to your partner and rehome her carefully with his agreement.


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## MollySmith

A dog cannot fix you*. My mum is bi-polar, I have depression and other stuff going on and we got Molly at 10 months old because she's a dog and brings with her all the things that dogs do. It was hell last summer. Truly hellish not helped by my husband having a serious accident and a head injury. She's not, for me, a surrogate child and does not replace that grief. It sounds to me like you were expecting too much from your pup and feel let down by her. We all spend money on training, vets etc - that's clear from any thread on dogs or books and if you thought otherwise then you should have researched more, that is not your dog's problem.

The good news is that it does get better. Truly it does. And you are not alone. I bet anything that this thread will have lots of people empathising with the OMG what have I done because we all realise that whilst there a squillions of books on parenthood and support in the community, there is very little for overwhelmed pet owners. Honestly, apart from that Molly has to climb onto our bed and wake us up, she does get me up each morning by being daft, loveable and joyful.

I've said before to people that a diary or a blog is a good idea. I was told to do this for myself before Molly to help record feelings during a very bad blip and I still do. Try that with your pup and read back what you've done. I realise your thread is a rant but I can see that you've conquered lots of things.

Share a few photos and ask some questions here might also help you to bond with her. Can you take her out with you? It's maybe not about being trapped but altering what you do and where you go so she can come along too and that's not a bad thing. People cooing over your dog is a reminder how lucky we are to have them. The more you involve her then the better, well rounded and well socialised dog she'll become and, from one who has a dog with lead reactivity, that's exceptionally fortunate  What's her name?

*Edited to say that a dog can help to fix you but is not the complete reason, Dogless explains it loads better in her post.


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## redroses2106

I think anyone who says they haven't had an omg what have I done moment is probably telling porkies, I certainly have had a fair few especially in the beginning it was a huge shock to the system! I think you should give it more time and RELAX with it a bit more, stop worrying so much about her, she is probably picking up on that and that is why it takes so long to settle her, if she is ok for 2 hours she could probably be ok for 3 or 4 just don't make a huge fuss before leaving her, the travel sickness can't really be helped it's not her fault and giving her a tablet isn't a big deal stick it in some cream cheese  if you are worried about taking her to busy places put her on a long lead this gives her some freedom but you are still in control and can easily reign her in. perhaps talk to your OH about how you are feeling and see if he could help out a little bit more with her, if you tell him how anxious and worried she is making you I am sure he would be happy to try to help out a little more, you just need to spell things out for men. 

hope things pick up for you soon


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## springfieldbean

I understand all of what you're going through - our pups sounds very similar. But it sounds as though you don't get enough support from your OH - even though he's working full time could he do a bit more, like some pre-work morning walks as well as the bedtime wee walk?

It's true that it does get easier. At about 6 months there was a noticeable difference with Sherlock - still a lot of work and unpredictable but definitely more obedient, and he stopped being interested in other people so we didn't have the jumping on children/into the middle of picnics type problems to worry about. He also became a lot happier being left alone, so that wasn't a worry any more. So the worries and anxieties do start to reduce. He's 2 now, and still dictates our lives but I don't find it nearly so stressful any more.

Since the very early puppy days I've always got more pleasure than stress from having a dog though - I love the cuddles and companionship and walking's my favourite pastime, so those things really help outweigh the worries. If you're not enjoying the good parts of being a dog owner at all, unless your partner takes more responsibility for your girl, I think you do have to seriously consider rehoming her. She should be making you happy, as well as you making her happy.


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## Kivasmum

As already said I think most people get the puppy blues, I know I did! I spent nights crying because I felt in over my head, worried that I was screwing it all up and even resenting my dog for making my life such a misery at times! But, and its a big but...she also brought me laughs and cuddles and companionship and loyalty and pride, because although it seems like all your efforts are wasted on the naughty pup, eventually they do get it, everything you do for her, all the hours training and stressing will pay off eventually. Sorry for the ramble ha ha I guess what I mean is everything you're feeling is normal and is probably felt by 90% of new puppy owners, and I personally think the other 10% are fibbing


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## terencesmum

I don't mean to scare you, but I had that "What the hell have I done?" feeling until Terence came out of his teenage stage recently. He is completely adorable and I love the bones of him, but, oh my god, he's put me through the mill. I cried regularly in all sorts of different settings. 
Dogs do tend to be a big responsibility and that will never change. Pup will always depend on you to supply all sorts of things. Maybe speak to the OH about how stressed you are getting and ask for help from him. Men tend to be a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to supporting their better half.


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## Mulish

I'd wanted a dog for about 30 years so when we were finally in a position to get one I was so excited I didn't even mind all the provisos my hubby put on it (size, type, colour etc) I'd always imagined myself with a great big dog who I could socialise and train well enough to take anywhere. S/he would adore our children and they him/her and we'd all live in some rose tinted, telly ad ideal of family life.

What we got was a smallish mongrel who barks at random things, attacks hoovers and brooms, steals any food/socks/shoes he can get to and tugs the clean washing off the line. He does love the kids but the younger ones have to be monitored with him constantly, especially my toddler. I can take him places but have to be extra vigilant because he's small enough to be trodden on and lots of people will suddenly swoop down to fuss him which he hates. It's not relaxing at all. He isn't the dog I imagined for all those years and one of my friends even said to me he doesn't 'suit' me.

So I do have days where I wonder what I've done and he starts to seem more like another responsibility but I realise it's not him, it's me and my unrealistic expectations. He is a good dog, we all love him and his quirks. Someone said on another thread you have to train the dog you have and that's true of accepting them, too.

Try and include your pup in doing things you do enjoy. Taking mine for a walk, watching him boing through the long grass like he's on springs and seeing the sheer joy he gets from just rolling about (usually in something stinky) cheers me up loads. Do you have any friends with dogs or maybe group walks near you? It can be a good chance to socialise and get fresh air for you, too. Don't make any hasty decisions but don't keep her and be miserable out of a sense of duty, either.


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## Dogless

I think it sounds like you have just got overwhelmed by normal puppy stuff and the realisation you've made a huge commitment and have to change your life accordingly.

You can take some of the pressure off (and the being shouted at) by investing in a longline to use until you have trained a reliable recall.

I disagree with MS in that in my experience a dog can go a long way towards "fixing you" in a multitude of ways. It shouldn't be the sole reason for getting a dog at all and you mustn't place such a burden of expectation upon a pup - but once you learn to relax and enjoy them they can be an amazing comfort, focus, reason to get up early and way of seeing new places and meeting new people. 

If you really have decided that dog ownership isn't for you though OP I would discuss things with your pup's breeder. May be a good idea to talk to them anyway as they will hopefully be willing and able to help and advise on all the issues you're finding difficult.


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## tailtickle

Hello Skinnywhippet, I think you have gone into _overload_, i.e. During these past 4 months .....

_*Since then I've spent hours every day working on her routine , crate training her (in literally 5 second increments to start with as she didn't take to it easily) reading stuff, socialising her, walking her. Spent a fortune on kit and meds and vet bills and behaviourist and doggy daycare when I need to be out. *_

Your mind was overloaded, and is now convincing you that this is how it will continue, and as good as it gets! 
The good news, is this is not so!

I also feel that perhaps based on that thought in the back of your mind, you may be afraid to love this young dog? So therefore convincing yourself of all the negatives, to protect you from loving and enjoying her. 
However, I feel sure you want to, based on all that you previously did.

Perhaps the realisation of a change in life-style is a little scary, especially when you have anxiety issues. Try to embrace these changes, as changes happen during the course of life (dog or no dog). Sadly with depression, we are inclined to look inwardly, but this little dog is going to help you look outwardly. 

You even said that she is _"a good pup"._ It is not uncommon to be unprepared for what having a puppy/dog is like, and thinking - Please can I have my old life back!! hmy: :wink:

This little dog is ready to trust you, and will love you, no matter what anyone else should think. 

Enter her _innocent accepting world_, and laugh and love with her. You will begin to move forward (in good ways) - allowing your dog to show you how. :wink: :001_smile:

tailtickle x


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## MollySmith

Dogless said:


> I think it sounds like you have just got overwhelmed by normal puppy stuff and the realisation you've made a huge commitment and have to change your life accordingly.
> 
> You can take some of the pressure off (and the being shouted at) by investing in a longline to use until you have trained a reliable recall.
> 
> *I disagree with MS in that in my experience a dog can go a long way towards "fixing you" in a multitude of ways. It shouldn't be the sole reason for getting a dog at all and you mustn't place such a burden of expectation upon a pup - but once you learn to relax and enjoy them they can be an amazing comfort, focus, reason to get up early and way of seeing new places and meeting new people.*
> 
> If you really have decided that dog ownership isn't for you though OP I would discuss things with your pup's breeder. May be a good idea to talk to them anyway as they will hopefully be willing and able to help and advise on all the issues you're finding difficult.


You've explained what I meant but failed to articulate. A dog can help in a multitude of ways but isn't the sole reason as you say. Much better put and you are absolutely right 

She does help me to live in the moment, when I'm interacting with Molly or doing my crazy singing on walks, I am not thinking about other things that I know would overwhelm me. The sting of redundancy was tempered by spending time with Molly and focusing on her lead work has been a useful and positive reward for her humans


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## labradrk

Skinnywhippet said:


> I've had my girl 4 months now, from 9wks old. By most standards she's a "good" pup - toilet trained quickly, non destructive. We had big issues early on with separation but are making progress, provided I follow a tediously fixed routine prior to leaving her (walk, feed, wait for her to settle -takes about 90 mins) she's ok for 2hrs.
> 
> Problem is, I still wish I didn't have her. I have mild depression /anxiety issues and one of the reasons for getting her was to help me live in the moment more and hopefully be more relaxed and happier. It's *so* not worked out that way.
> 
> I had a huge bout of anxiety the first week we got her cos she whined all the time, screamed when I left the room & I was worried about neighbours freaking out. Since then I've spent hours every day working on her routine , crate training her (in literally 5second increments to start with as she didn't take to it easily) reading stuff, socialising her, walking her. Spent a fortune on kit and meds and vet bills and behaviourist and doggy daycare when I need to be out.
> 
> I think I may just be wrong for having a dog. When I think about her I just see a huge burden of responsibility and a decade of endless picking up poo, worrying about her behaviour (latest talent is stealing picnics from people in the park where i exercise her, so even walking her is stressful as i'm on alert for small children she might lick, food she'll steal, other dogs which might not be friendly. All being worked on in training but in the mean time i get yelled at a lot!), and never being able to go anywhere - I'm scared to leave her anywhere overnight in case it screws up our hard won sleeping thru the night routine. I'm sick of turning down social invitations and wracking my brain for how to work around her ...she also gets travel sick badly and needs meds 2hrs before any trip more than 10mins, so what with that and the sep anx training and the normal exercising schedule, every day has to be planned like a flaming military operation.
> 
> Sorry for the venty ramble; I know most people would not be bothered by any of this, but I feel totally trapped and miserable! Rehoming isn't really an option unless I want to risk my relationship, as o/h doesn't want to be *that* person...tho his help is limited to the 10pm potty trip cos he's busy earning our living. Everyone says "yeah but you'd not be without her, right?" and I think yes, I totally would, if I could just turn the clock back.
> 
> So, did anyone else feel so negative about their dog after this long? I know it's me as much as (or more than) her, but what would your advice be?


And breath!!! you sound super stressed at the moment.

Yes, it can be normal to feel negative about a dog/puppy. Especially if it's first dog, or you have other things going on in your life or if that dog doesn't meet your expectations (for whatever reason). Even though I have had dogs my whole life, I really struggled when I got Bo my Slovak. All my previous dogs had been much easier to handle but she was a wild child who never slept and was hyper and demanding all the time. She's not easy now 4 years down the line but I adore her and wouldn't be without an ASBO dog in my life. "Normal" dogs seem really boring compared to her!

I think dogs can be good and bad for anxiety. I get the vibe from your post that you are particularly worried about the impact of your pups behaviour on others (neighbours and barking, people in the park, your friends and social occasions etc.). As already mentioned, there is no reason your pup should be mugging people in the park - use a lead. I have a dog who would gladly do the same so if there are people about in close proximity, she's on a lead. I've recently started using a Flexi on for her (ONLY in open areas on a harness - never the streets) which is a great compromise if they are unable to be let off.

Dogs don't need a regimented routine. Their behaviour is usually WORSE for it because they come to expect things at specific times and then play up when they don't get it. It also makes YOU feel restricted when it is really not necessary to be so. 

Travel sickness they usually grow out of. Not always, but mine all did. Same as kids are often travel sick when they are young but grow out of it - pups are the same.

Sod the routine and training for a bit and just try to enjoy her.


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## Barcode

Skinnywhippet said:


> Problem is, I still wish I didn't have her. I have mild depression /anxiety issues and one of the reasons for getting her was to help me live in the moment more and hopefully be more relaxed and happier.


That's a mighty big expectation for one dog, and for yourself. An expectation that may be exacerbating your existing mental health issues. I have been taking citalopram for years for similar reasons, and I really didn't think of our first dog as a fix. As it turned out, I really do enjoy our walks when I don't have to think too much, and they can get you into a better routine, but I think it's important not to have big expectations of either yourself, or your dog.



> (latest talent is stealing picnics from people in the park where i exercise her, so even walking her is stressful as i'm on alert for small children she might lick, food she'll steal, other dogs which might not be friendly.


I'm a bit perplexed by this: surely, she is on-lead in this sort of environment? Perhaps you could do some heelwork going past? (e.g., get a tasty treat, get her to focus on you, reward for passing calmly?). You cannot control the wider environment, but you can control your dog.



> I'm sick of turning down social invitations and wracking my brain for how to work around her ...


Can you not just, e.g., take her to the pub? to meet friends etc? Now, you don't have to take her EVERYWHERE, but a dog that does this sort of stuff can become a confident dog, and can be left at home eventually. I do think that, at four months, you shouldn't be expecting to be able to go out for hours.

When Scrabble was 4 months I was teaching, and would pop back home between lectures for walks/play etc. I wouldn't have done it if she had to be left longer than, say, about two hours. We now have Matilda who is nine months, and it's only over the past month that we've gone out to the pub for an hour or so and left them both alone together. All I can say is that what you're describing is all quite normal for four months and it DOES improve as your dog becomes more settled.



> Rehoming isn't really an option unless I want to risk my relationship, as o/h doesn't want to be *that* person...tho his help is limited to the 10pm potty trip cos he's busy earning our living.


I'm also perplexed by this. What does your OH do between returning home and 10pm? My OH also leaves for work at 8 am (I'm at home ostensibly writing up a thesis), but when she comes home, we all go for a walk, play in the garden or whatever. Neither one of us has set jobs, we just do what needs to be done. Going out to work hardly precludes helping at home. I do hope I'm reading your post wrong and am happy to be corrected.

And yes, I still have 'What the heck have we done' moments. Don't beat yourself up for that - it would be odd if you didn't.


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## WeedySeaDragon

Dogless said:


> I disagree with MS in that in my experience a dog can go a long way towards "fixing you" in a multitude of ways. It shouldn't be the sole reason for getting a dog at all and you mustn't place such a burden of expectation upon a pup - but once you learn to relax and enjoy them they can be an amazing comfort, focus, reason to get up early and way of seeing new places and meeting new people.


Absolutely agree with this.

I have fairly severe depression and anxiety and the dogs are an amazing source of comfort for me at times. However, I also have an amazingly supportive and understanding OH who takes on all the day to day doggy stuff when I'm not doing so well, leaving just the lovely bits for me. If it was just me and the dogs then I would seriously struggle, just as the lovely bits are an amazing help for me when I'm emotionally fragile the bad bits can be utterly soul destroying if OH isn't here to help.

Things will get better and whippets (I'm presuming you have one from your username!!) are such lovely little dogs I would say it's definitely worth it. Both of ours have suddenly calmed down at about 7-8 months and they go, almost overnight, from being utter horrors to wonderful. Neither of them are 'perfect' and they still have their moments but overall they're now easy and hugely fun to be around.

However, if you are getting absolutely no joy from her at all (even when she's being good) then it's foolhardy to struggle on out of a sense of duty as it will be no good in the long run for either of you.

I'd say don't rush into anything just yet. Talk to your OH, if you're on good terms with the breeder then talk to them as well.


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## Skinnywhippet

Oh my goodness, thank you all for being SO kind. Honestly i kind of expected to get my @ss kicked for being stupid and selfish :blushing:

To clarify a few things....
I know the pup can't fix me, and that was not the main reason for getting her (ironically, the biggest is that o/h is a dog person and has talked about wanting one pretty much since the day we met 12 years ago. More on that in a moment...) but i did hope it'd have a positive effect on my state of mind. Bless her, a couple of nights ago i was bawling and she did that "disney" thing of coming and putting her head gently on my knee (made me bawl more, natch, poor mite!), but most of the time i am, as somebody rightly said, super stressed. 

Re long lines and parks, this is a whippet thing i think. She has two modes - slow meander and 100mph, and i love to watch her do the latter. It's also part of her play mode with other dogs, and watching her try to play while tangled / confined on a lead isn't so nice. Sadly i've not found any 2 acre perfectly fenced empty fields so the park is the best we have...I do mostly keep her on a long line unless she's focused on playing a fetch game with me or playing with another dog, but that often means she does an unexpected 0-60 acceleration and hurts both of us when she hits the end of the line (she's on a harness but it can hardly be comfortable!) You'd think she'd have learned by now but apparently not 

The Man situation. Yes, you are all totally right, and believe me i have spelt it out to him more than once. In addition to the work involved caring for her, every time we've had a "challenge" (travel sickness, separation issues, barking at people) it's been me who's had to solve it - he basically just shrugs and says his dog as a kid arrived perfect and he doesn't know what to do. Even when i put stuff in front of him to read he'll not get around to it. Rationally, i think this is pretty outrageous, as I was kind of relying on him - it's my first dog, and we were a cat family when i was a kid so i find them really hard to read. 
But, everyone has their weak points, and proactively helping out with things that are driving me insane, but which don't seem a big deal to him - that's his. You'll just have to trust me when I say that he is great in other ways, and until now it's not been a big strain on the relationship - we are both ambivalent about kids and don't plan to have them, which is lucky 'cos after this I certainly wouldn't be having them with him  
But yes, I am disappointed in his response, and of course that's adding to the stress.

Anyway, there are lots of good suggestions in everyone's responses and I will try them where I can - she (sorry, she's Minnie!) does come with me everywhere when practical, but that's often just as stressful...last weekend we ended up in a packed pub where there was nowhere for me to settle her down and she kept nearly getting trodden on! I love taking her to dog training as she can just be a dog there, even though the little ratbag barks for at least the first half to try and get everyone's attention...well done me for researching a quiet breed and then getting the only loud one ever 

Thankyou all again for the support xx


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## Skinnywhippet

Trying with a photo for you - this was a couple of months back now, posing with her beloved rubber chicken!


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## GingerRogers

I have no advice really never having had a puppy but with my latest I totally appreciate how utterly overwhelmed you can become with all the stuff you need to know and deal with and she isnt my first dog  but I do have a husband similar to your OH . He wanted her but wont do anything much with her, he is getting there now I even got him reading half a dog training book the other day. Re the long line thing, I know its nice to see them run free but really you will save yourself some grief if you stick with until you got a good recall, have you tried any impulse control (just copying advice from others there but) it helps with the dashing off and whilst on the line for the sudden stops

I did have to say how utterly beautiful she is


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## Firedog

Skinnywhippet said:


> Trying with a photo for you - this was a couple of months back now, posing with her beloved rubber chicken!


She is adorable.:001_wub::001_wub:


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## Freyja

She sounds to me as if she is a normal teenage whippet even if she is a little young for normal teenager fun and games. Believe me I have 6 whippets now but have had a lot more and know the tricks they can get up to. 

To stop the stealing of people and children in the park put her on a harness and on a ling line that way she can still run round and you will still be able to bring her back to you if needed. I'm afraid other dogs not being quite so friendly there is not a lot you can do teach her to approach other dogs nicely and not bouncing in their faces and nipping.

It is all worth while in the end whippets make super pets and are very loving dogs. They do settle down at between 10-12 months.

I have got to dash off now as I have to collect my OH from work but will be back later.


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## GingerRogers

Freyja said:


> She sounds to me as if she is a normal teenage whippet even if she is a little young for normal teenager fun and games. Believe me I have 6 whippets now but have had a lot more and know the tricks they can get up to.
> 
> To stop the *stealing of people and children *in the park put her on a harness and on a ling line that way she can still run round and you will still be able to bring her back to you if needed. I'm afraid other dogs not being quite so friendly there is not a lot you can do teach her to approach other dogs nicely and not bouncing in their faces and nipping.
> 
> It is all worth while in the end whippets make super pets and are very loving dogs. They do settle down at between 10-12 months.
> 
> I have got to dash off now as I have to collect my OH from work but will be back later.


Well thats a whole other issue and needs addressing before Minnie is arrested 

Sorry couldnt resist


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## chichi

I wonder if the dog picks up on your stress...they are so perceptive and I believe the owners mood often affects a dog.

If you really feel you have bitten off more than you can chew...I would speak to her Breeder. If I thought one of my pups were being thought of this way...I would be heartbroken and would ask for the pup to be returned so that I could rehome her.

Its all well and good your OH wanting to keep her but seems you are doing 95% of the dogs care which .... clearly .... you are struggling with.

I think its perfectly normal for a new owner to feel overwhelmed but this seems to be more of a problem than just the settling of a family after adding a canine family member imho.

As an adult dog.... things are sure to get calmer and easier but she will still be a massive tie ....as all dogs are. Some people cope with that responsibility without batting an eyelid....others struggle. Only you know whether having a dog is too much for you. 

If she were a pup I had bred I would want you to call me for support and help.....and I would be there for the pup if needed.

I hope things improve for you as you do sound very stressed and upset by the situation.


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## Mollyspringer

She really is gorgeous and I feel for you I really do. We've had all your issues with Molly, she's 2 and we do still have some of them, but they're completely overtaken by the love and loyalty she shows us. AND I've had her steal someone's food in the park-I just pre-empt the situation now and distract her before she can steal! I love the social side of our walks-I can chat to anyone when I take her out-very rarely will anyone want to speak if no dogs are involved!
Hang in there-you'll get lots of advice on here from some very knowledgeable people-support and advice go a long way to helping xx


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## Apollo2012

I had puppy blues a couple time when Apollo was younger, the day after I got him I was freaking out and didn't think I could do it as he is the fist dog I've had since my two dogs I grew up with died, then a few times while he was growing up going through various stages especially with his nervousness. but once he hit a year old he is like a changed dog, yes he still has issues but we work on them all the time, he is happy to just chill at home now his separation anxiety gets better every day and he's a joy to have around. but even when I would be freaking out or crying not knowing if i should keep him I would think about it seriously and think about how I would feel if he wasn't here and I know I couldn't be without him. he's my baby

I agree on trying to include your dog in things that you do, I love to walk along the beach early in the morning or in the evening anyway but being able to do it with Apollo too makes it so much better, when Apollo was young I used to take him everywhere with me just so he had loads of different experiences and I think it made us a lot closer


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## Skinnywhippet

chichi said:


> I wonder if the dog picks up on your stress...they are so perceptive and I believe the owners mood often affects a dog.
> 
> If you really feel you have bitten off more than you can chew...I would speak to her Breeder. If I thought one of my pups were being thought of this way...I would be heartbroken and would ask for the pup to be returned so that I could rehome her..


I'm quite sure she does pick up on it yes, and as i've been frantic more or less since she arrived, i do think she'd have been calmer with a less rubbish owner!

Hmm her breeder...okay, this is a mistake i made. As i say, i wasn't brought up with dogs, and before I got her I thought that 1) whippets don't really have any major hereditary issues so health checking not such a big deal as with, say, labs, and 2) you should see the pups with mum to be sure they're not puppy farmed. That was all I knew. I did that, in fact her mum and dad and a full sister from a previous mating, all very happily at the breeder's house. However, the lady is really a backyard breeder doing it to make a bit of extra cash. She's a perfectly nice lady and not doing anything bad, but not the kind of breeder who gives a "bring the pup back if anything ever changes" sort of undertaking. So that isn't really an option, and it's the one thing that despite being a planning obsessive, i somehow didn't research enough


----------



## Dogless

I have no advice on the "man thing" .... mine wanted a dog as much as me yet has very little input - he walks with us maybe once per month if that, nothing to do with training, the vet etc.

When we got our first dog since being married he was only home once a month so everything was down to me (could take Kilo to work, luckily) and now we live together and have two dogs....he is still only home for one week in every four and everything is still down to me . 

If you learn how to train a man you'll make a fortune  .


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## Supasilvfoxy

Not got really much to add to the advice and support you have already had Skinnywhippet.

I wanted to say though that your puppy is beautiful and seems to be getting herself ready to heap on you much love and comfort. Life has a way to giving us kicks from time to time just to make sure we're paying attention and not getting too complacent. Your girly will help you through lots of life's hiccups, I know mine do, all she will require is your love and attention, which is not much when you consider how much love and attention she is going to bestow on you in the future.

All this negative stuff you are going through at the moment with her is just a blip and the day will come when all of a sudden you will realize that all your hard work is worth it.

I've found this and hope it may help a little: when a non-dog lover gets one - chatting at the sky

Much love and happiness to you, your OH and of course Minnie (gorgeous Minnie)


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## MollySmith

Oh she's beautiful, hello Minnie  I love whippets, we met one last year on holiday, called Kev and I've loved them since, he was such a character.

I've having a few tears here for you. I do think they pick up on stress so much - mine has since we had here, even yesterday when I was worried about going on a long drive to get to an interview. Tiny little things.

I don't know how to train a man either. My OH falls asleep watching favourite telly programmes never mind articles on dogs but I've found that making him come to our classes to watch (he doesn't take the lead!) means he learns a little bit by osmosis or something. Bribery with beer works too. You mentioned that he said his dogs arrived perfect as a child, might his family beg to differ?

Have you worked on recall so you can think about letting her off lead safely? Maybe if you say roughly where you live some people might be able to suggest some good walks for you? I struggled to find any when we first got Molly and the difference between a well walked dog and one itching to go out is massive for us anyway. Plus it's hugely uplifting to see them run. I found beaches to be helpful for Molly as her lurcher part makes her much like Minnie 0mph or 90mph! Driving with Dogs website has walks and http://www.wheretowalkies.co.uk covers Midlands areas.

Good luck and licks and wags to Minnie, you will get there. Just sharing the problem is half the battle won.


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## lulubel

Skinnywhippet said:


> The Man situation. Yes, you are all totally right, and believe me i have spelt it out to him more than once. In addition to the work involved caring for her, every time we've had a "challenge" (travel sickness, separation issues, barking at people) it's been me who's had to solve it - he basically just shrugs and says his dog as a kid arrived perfect and he doesn't know what to do. Even when i put stuff in front of him to read he'll not get around to it. Rationally, i think this is pretty outrageous, as I was kind of relying on him - it's my first dog, and we were a cat family when i was a kid so i find them really hard to read.


I would try pointing out to him that it's very unlikely that his dog as a kid arrived perfect. It's far more likely that his parents put in a lot of time and effort to train his perfect dog. I grew up with dogs, but I don't remember the process of house training, for example. I remember my mother occasionally wiping up wees, but I don't remember how my Emma went from puppy with no bladder control at all to adult dog who would _never_ go in the house. I suspect his situation is very much the same, and perhaps he needs reminding of it.

As for your obsession with routine, it sounds like OCD on your part to me, and not a problem with your puppy. The best advice I can give, as someone who suffers with OCD, is to find some small, innocent things to target, and let the rest go. Line up the pleats in the curtains so they are spaced evenly. Position throws so there is exactly the same amount hanging down each side of the chair - use a tape measure if you have to. Position the things that live on the kitchen worktops so they are evenly spaced and always in the same order. Believe me, these kind of things help, and they're harmless. Of course, your man will mess them up again, and you'll have to go along behind him putting them "right" but make sure he understands why you're doing it - so you have control over a few minor things in return for accepting a bit of chaos in the important areas of your life - and you will probably find things get a lot easier.


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## BaileysNose

I find the first year very hard like you.. I had some real up and downs and moments where I thought 'what have I done?' And I have done it twice so I must be a bit thick  

I also think it takes quite a while for a dog to really bond with you - puppies need you which is different. They are too busy being puppies to worry much about you. Once the dog gets older your relationship becomes different, usually for the better!

Where abouts are you based? Perhaps you could meet someone on here to go for walks with? Sometimes these things seem less stressful when you have someone else to walk with and share experiences.


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## Janey D

I just wanted to say I really admire your honesty in admitting that you are finding it hard. We decided on a rescue dog rather than a puppy and like another poster I envisaged some kind of lassie come home scenario.

Bertie came into my life when things were difficult and I thought having a dog to focus on and work with would help. Bonkers idea, it just made me more stressed! I do love getting out and walking him though and going off down the fields where we are unlikely to encounter any other dog walkers is the best thing ever.

Its a rollercoaster and the one thing your learn on here is that there are an awful lot of less than perfect dogs. Good luck with her, I am sure it will all work out in time.


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## LinznMilly

I didn't feel like that with a puppy, because I haven't had a puppy , but I HAVE felt like that when I got Milly. My _Dog _was she a wake up call.  After going from having a relatively well rounded (HA!) dog in Max, to getting a 1y/o whirlwind on legs that's better known as Milly, I can hand on heart say I had the same "OMG, what have I done" feeling with her - on and off, I admit, for well over a year.

Someone on another forum gave me the best advice I've come across to date - and it's been the thing that's kept Milly here in my darkest moments: When you feel so bad that you resent the change in your life, and you'd gladly pay someone to take her away - LOOK at her - _really _LOOK at her. Because whenever I looked at Milly, I felt myself melting in her eyes and for that brief moment in time, I'd forgive her anything (then she'd go and do something naughty and I'd be saying "_MILLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!" :sneaky2: :001_tt2:

As someone has already said before me, keep a diary of events about her. Or, if that's not your thing (it isn't for me) keep a mental list of all the things you've achieved - and _allow _yourself to feel the pride that you've taken this blank canvas and shaped her into what she's become. Because you have. No-one else (judging from your posts you're OH hasn't been much support), just _YOU_. I've had Milly for just over 2 years now, and when I think of how far I've come with her, I still catch my breath and think "my god! How have I done all that?" (And before anyone starts on me, no, I'm not suggesting I'm the only one to think/feel that way).

From your posts, I think, deep down, you DO love Minnie, you're just overwhelmed. There's an undercurrent to your posts which suggests that, under the stress, and feelings of regret, is a not-so-small amount of affection for that little whirlwind. :001_tt2:

Milly's a lurcher, but I agree - there's no feeling quite like seeing a sighthound going from a standing start to full speed.


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## chichi

Skinnywhippet said:


> I'm quite sure she does pick up on it yes, and as i've been frantic more or less since she arrived, i do think she'd have been calmer with a less rubbish owner!
> 
> Hmm her breeder...okay, this is a mistake i made. As i say, i wasn't brought up with dogs, and before I got her I thought that 1) whippets don't really have any major hereditary issues so health checking not such a big deal as with, say, labs, and 2) you should see the pups with mum to be sure they're not puppy farmed. That was all I knew. I did that, in fact her mum and dad and a full sister from a previous mating, all very happily at the breeder's house. However, the lady is really a backyard breeder doing it to make a bit of extra cash. She's a perfectly nice lady and not doing anything bad, but not the kind of breeder who gives a "bring the pup back if anything ever changes" sort of undertaking. So that isn't really an option, and it's the one thing that despite being a planning obsessive, i somehow didn't research enough


Firstly.....you are NOT a rubbish owner.....rid yourself of that idea. If anything...it sounds like you are trying to be SUPER owner to your lovely little dog but you are only human....you have other things going on in your life and you need a break from time to time. Give yourself a break.

Okay...so the breeder is not going to be a safety net in this case. Never mind. I think you will get much support from this forum as and when you need it.

Please try to chill....I am sure your little girl will also relax more if you do. It is understandable that you get stressed at certain situations but tbf I think many young dogs would help themselves to a yummy picnic given half a chance. Park walks are a nightmare to me...I much prefer forest walks where you mostly see other dog walkers just passing by....minding their own business. Parks tend to be full of grabby little kids.... trying to fuss your dogs *shudders*

I think with a little support you will get your head around the hard work and responsibility and your little girl will become your pride and joy. I have a house full of Chis and I have days when I wish myself a million miles away....but mostly I just love having their little faces watching my every move...eagerly trying to please me and showering me with love and affection. Dogs are just amazing....especially once they are no longer teenagers and become your best friend/companion!


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## Skinnywhippet

Oh yes Min is beautiful and I do love her, but at the moment rather than making me happy it just makes me anxious! I should probably also cut back on my forum reading because while i agree people need to know about dangers to dogs, if you're a bit perfectionist like me it gets to the point where you daren't leave the house for fear of a potential deathtrap.

Just off the top of my head:
Too much exercise - joint damage
Too little exercise - boredom and exacerbating her separation issues
Feeding the wrong thing - let's not even go there
Feeding at the wrong time - bloat
Treats and chews - anything she's interested in will almost certainly be potentially fatal
Sticks - imminent death from splinters / blockage or just spearing herself in the head from falling on it
And so on. As I say, i know why people need to know, but I don't think i personally process this information well - at one point i started to be amazed she'd survived the week :001_tt2:



LinznMilly said:


> Milly's a lurcher, but I agree - there's no feeling quite like seeing a sighthound going from a standing start to full speed.


There really isn't. And mostly i love it, but it doesn't half remind you that you've let a wild animal into your house doesn't it!



MollySmith said:


> Have you worked on recall so you can think about letting her off lead safely? Maybe if you say roughly where you live some people might be able to suggest some good walks for you?


Yes the recall is a work in progress  I work with her daily and we do classes once a week. She's not bad until the distractions start, then it's another story. There's no treat on earth I can offer her which competes with another dog or a small child, and she's not big on blind obedience so I need to be on alert to keep her well away from problems! 
I'm mostly in London so finding walks isn't too hard (lots of big parks near us), but finding empty ones is harder - they do exist but aren't practical on a daily basis. The upside is she does get lots of dogs to play with!



Supasilvfoxy said:


> I've found this and hope it may help a little: when a non-dog lover gets one - chatting at the sky


 Thanks, yes the first part of that is very much me - i'm a big griever over change! Still waiting for the puppy magic though 

Thanks again everyone who replied, I really really appreciate every single one


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## MollySmith

Skinnywhippet said:


> Oh yes Min is beautiful and I do love her, but at the moment rather than making me happy it just makes me anxious! I should probably also cut back on my forum reading because while *i agree people need to know about dangers to dogs, if you're a bit perfectionist like me it gets to the point where you daren't leave the house for fear of a potential deathtrap. *
> 
> Just off the top of my head:
> Too much exercise - joint damage
> Too little exercise - boredom and exacerbating her separation issues
> Feeding the wrong thing - let's not even go there
> Feeding at the wrong time - bloat
> Treats and chews - anything she's interested in will almost certainly be potentially fatal
> Sticks - imminent death from splinters / blockage or just spearing herself in the head from falling on it
> And so on. As I say, i know why people need to know, but I don't think i personally process this information well - at one point i started to be amazed she'd survived the week :001_tt2:
> 
> There really isn't. And mostly i love it, but it doesn't half remind you that you've let a wild animal into your house doesn't it!
> 
> Yes the recall is a work in progress  I work with her daily and we do classes once a week. She's not bad until the distractions start, then it's another story. There's no treat on earth I can offer her which competes with another dog or a small child, and she's not big on blind obedience so I need to be on alert to keep her well away from problems!
> I'm mostly in London so finding walks isn't too hard (lots of big parks near us), but finding empty ones is harder - they do exist but aren't practical on a daily basis. The upside is she does get lots of dogs to play with!
> 
> Thanks, yes the first part of that is very much me - i'm a big griever over change! Still waiting for the puppy magic though
> 
> Thanks again everyone who replied, I really really appreciate every single one


Yup I know what you mean. When I was younger I just walked my gran's dogs and never gave it a thought. Probably because there was no internet to fuel bleak thoughts. We all did fine and I never lost a dog and I realise that the more I walk Molly the easier it becomes and the less there is to worry as you get to know your dog. There is a good article in the August _Your Dog_ magazine on recall btw


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## Gemmaa

Skinnywhippet said:


> Oh yes Min is beautiful and I do love her, but at the moment rather than making me happy it just makes me anxious! I should probably also cut back on my forum reading because while i agree people need to know about dangers to dogs, if you're a bit perfectionist like me it gets to the point where you daren't leave the house for fear of a potential deathtrap.
> 
> Just off the top of my head:
> Too much exercise - joint damage
> Too little exercise - boredom and exacerbating her separation issues
> Feeding the wrong thing - let's not even go there
> Feeding at the wrong time - bloat
> Treats and chews - anything she's interested in will almost certainly be potentially fatal
> Sticks - imminent death from splinters / blockage or just spearing herself in the head from falling on it
> And so on. As I say, i know why people need to know, but I don't think i personally process this information well - at one point i started to be amazed she'd survived the week :001_tt2:
> 
> There really isn't. And mostly i love it, but it doesn't half remind you that you've let a wild animal into your house doesn't it!
> 
> Yes the recall is a work in progress  I work with her daily and we do classes once a week. She's not bad until the distractions start, then it's another story. There's no treat on earth I can offer her which competes with another dog or a small child, and she's not big on blind obedience so I need to be on alert to keep her well away from problems!
> I'm mostly in London so finding walks isn't too hard (lots of big parks near us), but finding empty ones is harder - they do exist but aren't practical on a daily basis. The upside is she does get lots of dogs to play with!
> 
> Thanks, yes the first part of that is very much me - i'm a big griever over change! Still waiting for the puppy magic though
> 
> Thanks again everyone who replied, I really really appreciate every single one


Yeah, definitely stay away from the internet. Things I'd been doing for years and with absolutely no problems, I suddenly started doubting. 
I changed things to go along with what the 'experts' say, and on walks I ended up needing a bag to carry all the stuff that I'd never needed before, I started getting really stressed when it came to buying new food, or finding something safe for them to chew...you just need to find what works for you .


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## cinnamontoast

Skinnywhippet said:


> And so on. As I say, i know why people need to know, but I don't think i personally process this information well - at one point i started to be amazed she'd survived the week :001_tt2:


I know what you mean! The first couple of mornings, I crept downstairs thoroughly expecting them to have passed away in the night! 

Dogs are often tougher than we give them credit for. It sounds like you'd benefit from a good trainer who will train the dog and teach you to relax!


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## LinznMilly

Skinnywhippet said:


> Oh yes Min is beautiful and I do love her, but at the moment rather than making me happy it just makes me anxious! I should probably also cut back on my forum reading because while i agree people need to know about dangers to dogs, if you're a bit perfectionist like me it gets to the point where you daren't leave the house for fear of a potential deathtrap.
> 
> Just off the top of my head:
> Too much exercise - joint damage
> Too little exercise - boredom and exacerbating her separation issues
> Feeding the wrong thing - let's not even go there
> Feeding at the wrong time - bloat
> Treats and chews - anything she's interested in will almost certainly be potentially fatal
> Sticks - imminent death from splinters / blockage or just spearing herself in the head from falling on it
> And so on. As I say, i know why people need to know, but I don't think i personally process this information well - at one point i started to be amazed she'd survived the week :001_tt2:


Yup, been there with Mill. All work and no fun, seems like a chore, etc. It does get easier. 

Too much exercise - Unless I'm very much mistaken, that's only whilst they're puppies, or if they've got pre-existing joint problems, so it shouldn't be too long before you don't have to worry about exercise length. Plus - and again, I stand to be corrected - isn't that more for onlead, street walking than offlead on grass? 

Too little exercise - Yeah, possibly - UNLESS you introduce mental stimulation in the form of kongs, treat dispensers, etc. A 5min mental workout can be just as tiring as an hour long walk.

Treats and chews - A little of what you (or she) fancies should be OK - with supervision.

Sticks - invest in a Kong safe-stix or a Frisbee, as a possible alternative? Milly's obsessed with her ball, and I've got my eye on what looks like a potentially Milly-proof Frisbee for her.



> There really isn't. And mostly i love it,* but it doesn't half remind you that you've let a wild animal into your house doesn't *it!


Especially when said sighthound kicks you in the head, like Milly did with me yesterday  . My own fault for being stupid enough to sit down on the grass whilst my little whirlwind was offlead, I suppose.



> Yes the recall is a work in progress  I work with her daily and we do classes once a week. She's not bad until the distractions start, then it's another story. There's no treat on earth I can offer her which competes with another dog or a small child, and she's not big on blind obedience so I need to be on alert to keep her well away from problems!


When I was teaching Milly recall, I had no less than 5 (yes FIVE) differently flavoured treats on me at any one time. Not knowing which flavour she was going to get next was the answer for us.


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## tinaK

I haven't read all of the replies, so sorry if I repeat anything. I suffer from Bipolar and with it comes bad anxiety.

I bonded with my first dog Clover quite quickly, but to be honest I didn't with my second until she was at least 6 months old. I almost resented her.

But it really does get better. You get into a routine that's suits you both. I sometimes have fears I will find my dogs dead  Horrible feeling

As people on here say when I'm ill, I'm doing good enough for my dogs.. and I love both of them very much


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## MollySmith

How are you Skinny Whippet? Been thinking about you and I hope you're coping okay.


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## lostbear

Skinnywhippet said:


> Trying with a photo for you - this was a couple of months back now, posing with her beloved rubber chicken!


Oh, Dear God - she's GORGEOUS!!!!!

If you decide you can't cope, can I have her?


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## lostbear

LinznMilly said:


> I didn't feel like that with a puppy, because I haven't had a puppy , but I HAVE felt like that when I got Milly. My _Dog _was she a wake up call.  After going from having a relatively well rounded (HA!) dog in Max, to getting a 1y/o whirlwind on legs that's better known as Milly, I can hand on heart say I had the same "OMG, what have I done" feeling with her - on and off, I admit, for well over a year.
> 
> Someone on another forum gave me the best advice I've come across to date - and it's been the thing that's kept Milly here in my darkest moments: When you feel so bad that you resent the change in your life, and you'd gladly pay someone to take her away -* LOOK at her - really LOOK at her. Because whenever I looked at Milly, I felt myself melting in her eyes and for that brief moment in time, I'd forgive her anything *(then she'd go and do something naughty and I'd be saying "_MILLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!" :sneaky2: :001_tt2:
> This is so true - best advice EVER!
> 
> As someone has already said before me, keep a diary of events about her. Or, if that's not your thing (it isn't for me) keep a mental list of all the things you've achieved - and _allow _yourself to feel the pride that you've taken this blank canvas and shaped her into what she's become. Because you have. No-one else (judging from your posts you're OH hasn't been much support), just _YOU_. I've had Milly for just over 2 years now, and when I think of how far I've come with her, I still catch my breath and think "my god! How have I done all that?" (And before anyone starts on me, no, I'm not suggesting I'm the only one to think/feel that way).
> 
> From your posts, I think, deep down, you DO love Minnie, you're just overwhelmed. There's an undercurrent to your posts which suggests that, under the stress, and feelings of regret, is a not-so-small amount of affection for that little whirlwind. :001_tt2:
> 
> Milly's a lurcher, but I agree - there's no feeling quite like seeing a sighthound going from a standing start to full speed.


I think that you are right and skinnywhippet really wants the best for Minnie - otherwise she'd be in the RSPCA rescue kennels already.

SW - you just need someone to reassure you that things will get better, and that what is happening is normal. ANd both of those are true.

You are a new mother - just as much as if this was a baby person - when you are waiting for them to arrive you live in a mental fantasy land of fairy dust and rose petals and rainbows and baby smiles. When the sprog comes along you're in the real world of dirty nappies and sick down your blouse and 2 am feeds and squalling that never seems to stop! Exactly the same with your puppy - and just as with a baby, she will grow and learn and you will look at her and think - "She's the best. We are so lucky to have her in our lives" and be ready to tear the throat out of anyone who threatens her in any way.


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## Lilylass

catz4m8z said:


> I think everyone goes through 'what have I done' phases after getting a new pup and it can last quite a while.


Another one just popping in to say that you're not alone - and it's not just with pups either

I really, really wondered if I'd made a mistake a couple of weeks after I'd got Maisie - she had loads of hang ups (still has some but she's made HUGE progress) and she was so ..... as my mum says "high maintenance" compared to Ben (who was about the most laid back dog that ever lived ) and I really didn't think we'd ever bond

It took a while - but we've totally bonded now and I wouldn't be without her.

Yes, she's not the easiest dog in the world (by a long shot ) and she still is - and probably always will be - high maintenance

But she makes me smile everyday - from the moment I come downstairs to find her on her duvet at the bottom of the stairs, squeaking one of her toys, until last thing at night, when I hide her gravy bone and watch her trying to find it


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## SusieRainbow

I can sympathise too ! We got our rescue dog in January and to start with I was overwhelmed with her 'neediness ' ! She caused problems with my daughter because I felt unable to leave her ( separation anxiety in dog AND owner ! ) and I worried about every poo, cough, shiver, you name it. Finding a food I was happy with has taken forever, it's been hard work but mainly of my own doing. 
Now, after 6 months we're settling down and she's so sweet and affectionate it feels like she's been here forever. I can't say I've ever regretted getting her, but have to admit life was simpler 'before Tango ' , wouldn't have it any other way now. I have to admit to being a born worrier and Tango is certainly a target for my anxiety.


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## Skinnywhippet

MollySmith said:


> How are you Skinny Whippet? Been thinking about you and I hope you're coping okay.


Thank you! I think we're doing a bit better. On thursday while taking a quiet walk, she accidentally jumped into a drainage ditch invisible under very high weeds. After a very loud splash and heartstopping few seconds of silence, she arrived back covered in black smelly mud...i did try to hose her down outside but she objected to the cold water and wouldn't keep still enough, so i had to take her in for a warm bath . The bathroom will never be the same again, but I laughed (almost) all the way through it and she amazed me by doing a STAY (in my most life depends on it voice) in the bath while i went to get a towel for her from the other room.

SusieRainbow yes that's exactly it, i'm a born worrier to and she's a great focus for my anxiety. I'm doing everything you describe. The frustrating thing is that i've never been like this with my cats, i just seemed to "get" them and they were both just..easy, well behaved, didn't do stupid things that endangered their health all the time!! Minnie has an on / off loose tummy - 99% certain caused by her constantly eating stupid things. Today it was green baby walnuts in the field where pup training is held, she made herself sick while we were there and i'm now back to cleaning up extreme yuckiness from the other end. I absolutely hate that I now obsess about her flaming poo quality...seriously, what has life come to! :yikes:


----------



## LinznMilly

Skinnywhippet said:


> Thank you! I think we're doing a bit better. On thursday while taking a quiet walk, she accidentally jumped into a drainage ditch invisible under very high weeds. After a very loud splash and heartstopping few seconds of silence, she arrived back covered in black smelly mud...i did try to hose her down outside but she objected to the cold water and wouldn't keep still enough, so i had to take her in for a warm bath . The bathroom will never be the same again, but I laughed (almost) all the way through it and she amazed me by doing a STAY (in my most life depends on it voice) in the bath while i went to get a towel for her from the other room.
> 
> SusieRainbow yes that's exactly it, i'm a born worrier to and she's a great focus for my anxiety. I'm doing everything you describe. The frustrating thing is that i've never been like this with my cats, i just seemed to "get" them and they were both just..easy, well behaved, didn't do stupid things that endangered their health all the time!! Minnie has an on / off loose tummy - 99% certain caused by her constantly eating stupid things. Today it was green baby walnuts in the field where pup training is held, she made herself sick while we were there and i'm now back to cleaning up extreme yuckiness from the other end. I absolutely hate that I now obsess about her flaming poo quality...seriously, what has life come to! :yikes:


She's sounding more and more like Milly every time you mention her  Good job she's less than a year old or I'd be accusing you of stealing me lurcher  

You're doing great Skinnywhippet. :thumbup:


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## lozb

Skinnywhippet said:


> I absolutely hate that I now obsess about her flaming poo quality...seriously, what has life come to! :yikes:


Welcome to the wonderful world of owning a dog 

She is Gorgeous & I'm sure things will work out just fine 

I rescued a cross about 6 months ago to live with our golden retriever and had Many 'what have I done' moments but now, I wouldn't be without her - neither would my golden...

It'll come right in the end - dogs have a way of making it so  xx


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## MollySmith

You're welcome  

I like the life depends on it voice! Well done you and Minnie for making you laugh. Molly can't swim, well she does but with so much splashing and she gets so excited with her friends that she forgets that she hates water and goes in. I've just had to do the voice (I shall now refer to is as life depends on in voice) as madam wants to check on hedgehogs and is having a toy throwing paddy.

Do you know if my husband and Molly go even a few minutes over their walk time I get twitchy. I'm paranoid about the gates on our driveway and as for leaving her :yikes: she's fine, I'm sitting at the table wondering and asking anyone whose not drifted off, what is my dog doing now. It must be love. You're doing brilliantly :thumbsup:

I can't offer an analogy based on children but I know that my husband and I had conversations about dogs whilst we were away on holidays - we called the dog NED - non existent dog - and never imagined when we got Molly she would be lead reactive. What you imagine sometimes never prepares you for the reality, other peoples dogs always seem easier as do childhood ones I find for me but it does change as you learn about each other, it's a mad but lovely thing.


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## MyMillie

lostbear said:


> I think that you are right and skinnywhippet really wants the best for Minnie - otherwise she'd be in the RSPCA rescue kennels already.
> 
> SW - you just need someone to reassure you that things will get better, and that what is happening is normal. ANd both of those are true.
> 
> You are a new mother - just as much as if this was a baby person - when you are waiting for them to arrive you live in a mental fantasy land of fairy dust and rose petals and rainbows and baby smiles. When the sprog comes along you're in the real world of dirty nappies and sick down your blouse and 2 am feeds and squalling that never seems to stop! Exactly the same with your puppy - and just as with a baby, she will grow and learn and you will look at her and think - "She's the best. We are so lucky to have her in our lives" and be ready to tear the throat out of anyone who threatens her in any way.


Oh my goodness!!....you said this so PERFECTLY!!....speaking of someone who has had 4 children.....and puppies!! 

OP.....you WILL get there!!...deep breathe at times of frustration, and all will be well


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## Buzzard

We have all had those moments. When we got Mac as a pup we were prepared for hard work.........but maybe underestimated just how MUCH hard work it was going to be! He is a high maintenance dog, requires a lot of training and walking. We have had him a year today, he is 14 months old and alas it is getting easier. Or maybe we just have grown to love the little monkey so much over the last year we no longer find it such hard work! Hang in there, it will get easier.


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## Indiandpuppy

Skinnywhippet said:


> I've had my girl 4 months now, from 9wks old. By most standards she's a "good" pup - toilet trained quickly, non destructive. We had big issues early on with separation but are making progress, provided I follow a tediously fixed routine prior to leaving her (walk, feed, wait for her to settle -takes about 90 mins) she's ok for 2hrs.
> 
> Problem is, I still wish I didn't have her. I have mild depression /anxiety issues and one of the reasons for getting her was to help me live in the moment more and hopefully be more relaxed and happier. It's *so* not worked out that way.
> 
> I had a huge bout of anxiety the first week we got her cos she whined all the time, screamed when I left the room & I was worried about neighbours freaking out. Since then I've spent hours every day working on her routine , crate training her (in literally 5second increments to start with as she didn't take to it easily) reading stuff, socialising her, walking her. Spent a fortune on kit and meds and vet bills and behaviourist and doggy daycare when I need to be out.
> 
> I think I may just be wrong for having a dog. When I think about her I just see a huge burden of responsibility and a decade of endless picking up poo, worrying about her behaviour (latest talent is stealing picnics from people in the park where i exercise her, so even walking her is stressful as i'm on alert for small children she might lick, food she'll steal, other dogs which might not be friendly. All being worked on in training but in the mean time i get yelled at a lot!), and never being able to go anywhere - I'm scared to leave her anywhere overnight in case it screws up our hard won sleeping thru the night routine. I'm sick of turning down social invitations and wracking my brain for how to work around her ...she also gets travel sick badly and needs meds 2hrs before any trip more than 10mins, so what with that and the sep anx training and the normal exercising schedule, every day has to be planned like a flaming military operation.
> 
> Sorry for the venty ramble; I know most people would not be bothered by any of this, but I feel totally trapped and miserable! Rehoming isn't really an option unless I want to risk my relationship, as o/h doesn't want to be *that* person...tho his help is limited to the 10pm potty trip cos he's busy earning our living. Everyone says "yeah but you'd not be without her, right?" and I think yes, I totally would, if I could just turn the clock back.
> 
> So, did anyone else feel so negative about their dog after this long? I know it's me as much as (or more than) her, but what would your advice be?


Your Dog | Help - I hate my puppy! | The Your Dog Blog

I have depression and have had some moments like this but I love Marnie with all my heart. And would miss her and never want to give her up. Sometimes when my friends ask me out or I get bitten I think grrrr but then I see her running towards me when we are doing re-call and I realise I wouldn't change it for the world.


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## sskmick

Skinnywhippet said:


> I've had my girl 4 months now, from 9wks old. By most standards she's a "good" pup - toilet trained quickly, non destructive. We had big issues early on with separation but are making progress, provided I follow a tediously fixed routine prior to leaving her (walk, feed, wait for her to settle -takes about 90 mins) she's ok for 2hrs.
> 
> Problem is, I still wish I didn't have her. I have mild depression /anxiety issues and one of the reasons for getting her was to help me live in the moment more and hopefully be more relaxed and happier. It's *so* not worked out that way.
> 
> I had a huge bout of anxiety the first week we got her cos she whined all the time, screamed when I left the room & I was worried about neighbours freaking out. Since then I've spent hours every day working on her routine , crate training her (in literally 5second increments to start with as she didn't take to it easily) reading stuff, socialising her, walking her. Spent a fortune on kit and meds and vet bills and behaviourist and doggy daycare when I need to be out.
> 
> I think I may just be wrong for having a dog. When I think about her I just see a huge burden of responsibility and a decade of endless picking up poo, worrying about her behaviour (latest talent is stealing picnics from people in the park where i exercise her, so even walking her is stressful as i'm on alert for small children she might lick, food she'll steal, other dogs which might not be friendly. All being worked on in training but in the mean time i get yelled at a lot!), and never being able to go anywhere - I'm scared to leave her anywhere overnight in case it screws up our hard won sleeping thru the night routine. I'm sick of turning down social invitations and wracking my brain for how to work around her ...she also gets travel sick badly and needs meds 2hrs before any trip more than 10mins, so what with that and the sep anx training and the normal exercising schedule, every day has to be planned like a flaming military operation.
> 
> Sorry for the venty ramble; I know most people would not be bothered by any of this, but I feel totally trapped and miserable! Rehoming isn't really an option unless I want to risk my relationship, as o/h doesn't want to be *that* person...tho his help is limited to the 10pm potty trip cos he's busy earning our living. Everyone says "yeah but you'd not be without her, right?" and I think yes, I totally would, if I could just turn the clock back.
> 
> So, did anyone else feel so negative about their dog after this long? I know it's me as much as (or more than) her, but what would your advice be?


Your post should head every advertisement for pets needing a home. Everything you have said is so true, you have a beautiful well behaved pup/dog to me ie not descructive, quick to house train. All the negatives you have pointed out is a question of ongoing training, which for me I enjoy. Its rather like having a two to three year old child for some 15 years.

Poo scooping, or "[email protected] shovelling" as I call it becomes a nothing, just part of our daily walk. Duke does a mandatory three poos a day usually on the same walk. Having cats I clean the cat litters twice a day and disinfect once a day. Now there are times when that becomes a ball ache. Then my two rabbits I clean them out every day and disinfect at the same time, again days like the past few weeks aren't a problem in fact I actually enjoy making them clean and tidy, however cold wet winter days I dread, it then becomes a chore. I am frozen, soaked to skin and I still have to take the dog for a walk when all I want to do is dry off and warm up.

What keeps me going is the love of my pets, and their love in return, unfortunately you haven't developed a bond for your dog. Pets aren't for everyone but it would seem you feel trapped because your husband wants the dog. This is compounded by your illness, the dog hasn't turned out to be the therapy you had hoped for.

I would keep your dog on a long line lead then he can have a controlled amount of freedom and you won't get shouted at.

As for a routine before leaving him I think most people have a similar routine. We can't go to see relatives down South because of our pets, (I'm not prepared to pay a minimum boarding of two nights for one night - not with six pets). Unfortunately there are things we pet owners have to sacrifice for our pets.


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## Picklelily

Skinnywhippet I have had dogs for over 40 years and the only ones I didn't feel like this with initially were the ones I had as a child. I'm sure my Mum felt like that though especially as she isn't a dog lover at all. I love dogs but every time I'm like OMG! Even my vet commented this time on how shell shocked I looked.

The feeling gradually fades but its over months you suddenly think wow I haven't regretted this dog for months.

When you get your first dog nobody tells you it changes your life as much as having a child. Puppies are hell!

People always say mmm I love the smell of puppies I think its a horrid smell. 

I have adored everyone of my dogs but those first few months are hell and even up to 2 there are days you think oh god why did I have a dog. Don't get me wrong I love the cuddles, they are cute and sweet but they are exhausting, hard work, embarrassing, messy, naughty.

After 2 they are mostly joy apart from if they are sick.

Your honey will get his comeuppance one day. I have always done the bulk of the work with our dogs. This one she is different she is a Daddy's girl. Take this morning I'm up first I let her out in the garden she casually comes in says hello and then sneaks upstairs and jumps all over him until he gets up and spends time with her. Mum is only good enough if Dad isn't in. 


Children are different Dad has to help. 

So relax you aren't the only one otherwise I wouldn't crave a four legged fiend every time my home is without one.


Edit should just say had this one 7 months now still feeling like that a lot of the time.


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## Skinnywhippet

lostbear said:


> If you decide you can't cope, can I have her?


Aww  there's a waiting list...my dog owning friends all adore her, and tell me she's a perfect puppy etc etc and can they please have her! It's another reason i feel so bad and ungrateful


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## Picklelily

Skinnywhippet said:


> Aww  there's a waiting list...my dog owning friends all adore her, and tell me she's a perfect puppy etc etc and can they please have her! It's another reason i feel so bad and ungrateful


Don't feel bad and ungrateful remember they aren't living with her and training her, you are. Be proud though that you are doing such a fantastic job.


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## Alice Childress

Picklelily said:


> People always say mmm I love the smell of puppies I think its a horrid smell.


Oh! That reminds me of one of my worst 'oh my god' moments with Maggie. Day two, I woke up (if you can still call it waking up when you've barely slept in two nights) with a full blown migraine, feeling incredibly sick with it. My nausea made the smell of Maggie unbearable, and worse than that, even once the migraine had eased off, for the next few days I associated her smell with feeling sick and really struggled to be close to her  I felt so guilty for hating her smell so much. Thank goodness, after a few days I didn't notice it anymore and then gradually I began to really like her smell - especially her paws! I love the smell of her paws.


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## Ruby Wednesday

Hi Skinnywhippet, I'm struggling with a new puppy at the moment. I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow on the advice of my daughter who thinks I may be depressed. I was wondering how you are getting on now?


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## Kchip

Ruby Wednesday said:


> Hi Skinnywhippet, I'm struggling with a new puppy at the moment. I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow on the advice of my daughter who thinks I may be depressed. I was wondering how you are getting on now?


Hope your ok, I really understand. How are things with your puppy?


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## jayelle

I have read all the posts on this thread, have tried to be understanding, but I do find it so hard to relate to this problem. My sympathies lie entirely with the dog. I am sorry! A dog is not a drug, nor a counsellor or therapist and should not have been acquired to fix your own problems. (I realise it is easy to be wise after the event.) 

I think it would be kinder to rehome your girl to a home where she would be loved and appreciated for what she is.

I have always lived with dogs and I know what a responsibility puppies are. (I have two 15 week old pups who joined my family 4 weeks ago and they are hard work.)

As I say, I do find it difficult to understand this owner's attitude. To me, the hardest part of owning dogs is the day when you have to say a final "goodbye" Each time I feel as if my heart will break, but after while I find I still have a little place in my heart that is big enough for another dog to love. (or, this time, two.)

I am not trying to be unkind. I feel sorry for this lady, I really do, but the dog can make no decisions for herself and needs to be given priority.


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## Kchip

jayelle said:


> I have read all the posts on this thread, have tried to be understanding, but I do find it so hard to relate to this problem. My sympathies lie entirely with the dog. I am sorry! A dog is not a drug, nor a counsellor or therapist and should not have been acquired to fix your own problems. (I realise it is easy to be wise after the event.)
> 
> I think it would be kinder to rehome your girl to a home where she would be loved and appreciated for what she is.
> 
> I have always lived with dogs and I know what a responsibility puppies are. (I have two 15 week old pups who joined my family 4 weeks ago and they are hard work.)
> 
> As I say, I do find it difficult to understand this owner's attitude. To me, the hardest part of owning dogs is the day when you have to say a final "goodbye" Each time I feel as if my heart will break, but after while I find I still have a little place in my heart that is big enough for another dog to love. (or, this time, two.)
> 
> I am not trying to be unkind. I feel sorry for this lady, I really do, but the dog can make no decisions for herself and needs to be given priority.


The dog has obviously been given priority, it's clear to see that when reading through the OP's posts, I don't think someone who put their own needs first would spend so much time and energy worrying that they are doing the best for their dog. We all need a little support and encouragement sometimes so It's really good that there is a place here where people can voice their concerns, and get genuine feedback and advice. It's definitely helping me in a similar situation where sometimes worries take over. It doesn't mean the dog is not a priority, precisely the opposite. This was also started a while ago so hopefully things are a bit better now.


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## Guest

MollySmith said:


> Oh she's beautiful, hello Minnie  I love whippets, we met one last year on holiday, called Kev


Just knowing that there is a dog in this world called Kev, makes it a better place. Just need to meet one called Dave now and my life will be complete 

Kev the Dog (please tell me they called 'Kevin!' When doing recall?!?)


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## Ruby Wednesday

Hi Kchip, we're hanging in there, thanks. Doctor says I don't need antidepressants but she's given me diazepam to have in case I feel the need. I've bought some Kalms and will try those first, would rather not take diazepam unless I have to. 

Still feeling a bit overwhelmed but am determined to do all I can to get through this with Ruby. It's hard to play with her at the moment as she nips at me so much, doesn't seem to do it much with hubby. I'm sure that basic obedience training will help. Still working on toilet training as well so have that challenge also. 

Skinnywhippet, hope you and your puppy/dog are doing well now.


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## ellenlouisepascoe

We have all been there and to be honest I bet every single one of us has a day we wish our dogs would just poof into thin air and give us a minute to ourselves. 

When Blade was younger I thought every single day " What the hell have I done!" He bit me constantly, he hung from our other dogs ears constantly, he peed and pood in the house constantly it's only over the last couple of months we've all settled into a routine and I'm starting to enjoy him immensely! 

All the heartache and headaches and sleepless nights do pay off , everything you put in now will pay off in the end. All the money on training and gizmos to keep your dog occupied will all pay off.

I'd be lost without my two now , their my reason for getting up on a morning and the reason I rush home every single night. My husband still laughs at me as every night when we drive home all I talk about is seeing my pups


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## MrsGiggles

I haven't read the replies yet but iam so glad you posted this,bernie is 6 months old and even though I love him to bits,I regreat getting him,I haven't fully bonded with him yet,he sufferes from SA which doesn't seem to be getting any better,and I feel awful for thinking this,I've wanted a dog which seems like forever and it feels like this,going to read the replies now


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## jayelle

Sorry, I was not intending to be unkind. I did say I have every sympathy with "Skinnywhippet" and I know we all need support at times, but I felt so sorry that the little dog was, unwittingly causing so much unhappiness to her owner. Dogs are so sensitive and she was bound to have picked up on her owner's vibes.

We are not all the same. We don't all look at things from the same perspective and I was trying to look at the problem for a different angle. I have no experience of the sort of mental issues SK is sadly afflicted with, but I have had experience of of unwanted and unloved dogs, so that was the focus of my perspective.

As you say, the posts go back a long way. (that will teach me to read dates as well as posts.) I hope the lady has resolved her problems in a way which is right for her and her lovely dog. 

But believe me my previous post was not intended to hurt or upset anyone. It was written out of concern for the dog.


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## Scabbers

Women get post natal depression sometimes after having their baby. That does not make them bad parents any more then having the puppy blues make you a bad owner.

I would die of shock if someone said they HADN'T to be honest. 

It is perfectly normal. It is just an adjustment issue more then anything. Maby ask your other half to puppy sit on a day off and just sleep all day


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## Skinnywhippet

MrsGiggles said:


> I haven't read the replies yet but iam so glad you posted this,bernie is 6 months old and even though I love him to bits,I regreat getting him,I haven't fully bonded with him yet,he sufferes from SA which doesn't seem to be getting any better,and I feel awful for thinking this,I've wanted a dog which seems like forever and it feels like this,going to read the replies now


Mrs Giggles I really think SA is one of the worst things to cope with, especially if you are emotionally sensitive to the dog's distress and prone to worrying and guilt. At 6 months old i still felt the way you do; i think the extreme dependence of the SA can make some people put up emotional "walls" so as not to bond with the pup, because you're so terrified that you can't meet their overwhelming, desperate needs. Looking back that's how i felt, and that part of me has gradually reduced but even now there's a bit of my feelings i block out so i don't cry every time i have to leave the house!! If you've not had a dog with SA tendencies you just can't even begin to imagine the impact it has on your every waking moment.

Well as this thread got lively again I thought i owed you all an update 

It's my girl's first birthday tomorrow and (as you all knew they would be!) things are much much better. I no longer feel as though i have a small, noisy, unpredictable, suicidal, baffling stranger living with me.

On the plus side: i basically love everything about her in terms of her temperament, behaviour, and generally she is a lovely being to have around. Except:

On the minus side: the GUILT! This is my problem to work on and of course not her "fault", but because she is a little highly strung and sooo hates being alone, I feel bad about leaving her for more than an hour every. single. time. As a result I still voluntarily restrict my life a lot - very much more than other dog-owning friends do.

I've been to the cinema once since she arrived, and spent most of it worrying about how long the film was.

Most of our friends are a way away and we don't go to stay with them like we used to because it's just too hard - 100% of the time she freaks out if left in a strange place, and i can't face the lengthy explanations about why we can't possibly pop out for a drink unless they can search out a dog friendly pub, and going out for a nice meal is out of the question.

Without wittering on for ages, basically i wish i'd realised how important a laid back, go with the flow personality was in order to balance out my own anxious nature; and how impossible i'd find it to balance her needs with mine - at the moment i prioritise hers almost entirely.

So, she's happy, healthy, obedient and lovely. I'm...OK, I guess. But still not at the stage where i can't imagine life without her; i'm afraid i very much can, and if i could turn the clock back i think i'd still likely make a different decision.

However: THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS WANTING TO REHOME HER NOW, OR NEGLECTING HER, OK 

She is my responsibility and i'll do everything I need to to give her a great life, even if it means mine is less great as a result, at least for now. Hopefully one day quite soon we'll get a better balance 

Oh, edited to add - Ruby Wednesday, please don't be scared of taking the diazepam - i know all the scare stories about addiction and that, but nothing bad will happen from taking occasional pills when you most need it. A small dose won't make you feel "drugged up" or anything, instead (in my experience) it will give you the head space to get things back in perspective again, and get some rest or whatever you most need to get back on track. They are wonderful things and Kalms or whatever just don't compare. Just don't let yourself take them regularly over long periods and they're quite safe OK? Good luck.


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## victoria171168

Could you find a doggy daycare facility so you can do things without feeling guilty.

With as dogs it takes lots of baby steps but it is achievable to lead a normal life


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## MrsGiggles

Skinnywhippet said:


> Mrs Giggles I really think SA is one of the worst things to cope with, especially if you are emotionally sensitive to the dog's distress and prone to worrying and guilt. At 6 months old i still felt the way you do; i think the extreme dependence of the SA can make some people put up emotional "walls" so as not to bond with the pup, because you're so terrified that you can't meet their overwhelming, desperate needs. Looking back that's how i felt, and that part of me has gradually reduced but even now there's a bit of my feelings i block out so i don't cry every time i have to leave the house!! If you've not had a dog with SA tendencies you just can't even begin to imagine the impact it has on your every waking moment.
> 
> Well as this thread got lively again I thought i owed you all an update
> 
> It's my girl's first birthday tomorrow and (as you all knew they would be!) things are much much better. I no longer feel as though i have a small, noisy, unpredictable, suicidal, baffling stranger living with me.
> 
> On the plus side: i basically love everything about her in terms of her temperament, behaviour, and generally she is a lovely being to have around. Except:
> 
> On the minus side: the GUILT! This is my problem to work on and of course not her "fault", but because she is a little highly strung and sooo hates being alone, I feel bad about leaving her for more than an hour every. single. time. As a result I still voluntarily restrict my life a lot - very much more than other dog-owning friends do.
> 
> I've been to the cinema once since she arrived, and spent most of it worrying about how long the film was.
> 
> Most of our friends are a way away and we don't go to stay with them like we used to because it's just too hard - 100% of the time she freaks out if left in a strange place, and i can't face the lengthy explanations about why we can't possibly pop out for a drink unless they can search out a dog friendly pub, and going out for a nice meal is out of the question.
> 
> Without wittering on for ages, basically i wish i'd realised how important a laid back, go with the flow personality was in order to balance out my own anxious nature; and how impossible i'd find it to balance her needs with mine - at the moment i prioritise hers almost entirely.
> 
> So, she's happy, healthy, obedient and lovely. I'm...OK, I guess. But still not at the stage where i can't imagine life without her; i'm afraid i very much can, and if i could turn the clock back i think i'd still likely make a different decision.
> 
> However: THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS WANTING TO REHOME HER NOW, OR NEGLECTING HER, OK
> 
> She is my responsibility and i'll do everything I need to to give her a great life, even if it means mine is less great as a result, at least for now. Hopefully one day quite soon we'll get a better balance
> 
> Oh, edited to add - Ruby Wednesday, please don't be scared of taking the diazepam - i know all the scare stories about addiction and that, but nothing bad will happen from taking occasional pills when you most need it. A small dose won't make you feel "drugged up" or anything, instead (in my experience) it will give you the head space to get things back in perspective again, and get some rest or whatever you most need to get back on track. They are wonderful things and Kalms or whatever just don't compare. Just don't let yourself take them regularly over long periods and they're quite safe OK? Good luck.


It's nice to read your update,I hope you keep going from strength to strength x


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## shirleystarr

victoria171168 said:


> Could you find a doggy daycare facility so you can do things without feeling guilty.
> 
> With as dogs it takes lots of baby steps but it is achievable to lead a normal life


Now that's a good idea or if you want to out for a meal or see a film in the evening I am sure a dog sitter would help out not sure how much they cost but its worth thinking about


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## Skinnywhippet

shirleystarr said:


> Now that's a good idea or if you want to out for a meal or see a film in the evening I am sure a dog sitter would help out not sure how much they cost but its worth thinking about


I do have a couple of dog sitters i use for when i'm out on client site with work, but they're not cheap around here (£45 for a day often) and don't always have space, because i'm only doing it on an ad hoc basis and of course regular clients get priority. But yes that's how i manage when i need to be out for more than 3-4 hours.

I've also recently found a wonderful home boarding place for holidays, where she wouldn't be alone at all and i'm absolutely certain she'll be happy as a clam, so will be booking a break for the spring. As you say, baby steps


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## Rolosmum

I never once regretted getting my pup, not that that helps you, but maybe take some pressure off of yourself, dont try to like them so much. Just relax and let them worm their way in in time, I would be very surprised if it doesnt happen. I trained four lab pups and really didnt like them, but i was trying to hard to, I took the pressure off of myself and just let them be around me doing what i needed to do to get basic training in and without trying they all became special to me, which is something i never thought would happen, because I only love and generally like springers.


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## Ruby Wednesday

A Very Happy First Birthday Minnie. Hope you both have a lovely day and so glad to hear things are better.


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## AllThingsBright&Beautiful

I know i'm very late to this post.. but i wondered how you are getting on with Minnie?


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