# Rep



## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

What are your thoughts on the rep system?

Should it be removed? I know a lot of people have voiced that opinion and have felt it causes more issues than anything else.

Quite a few times I have gone into cat forum and seen newbies have red rep and can't see why when all they have asked is for some form of advice and help. I get rep is rep why care. So why do people do it. I do find it quite sad to see some newbies have red rep when they really haven't done anything. Simply because those who are on the forum do see those with a red square to clearly be trouble. 

Thoughts?


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

My tuppence ha'penny's.

Red rep is just a base for causing trouble because it is almost always awarded with an unnecessary insult.

Then, when you believe your sense of moral outrage should be justified and you respond according to your principles the original sender runs off crying to the mods :cryin:


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## Lexiedhb (Jun 9, 2011)

The only time I have not liked the Rep system is when there ends up being a "tit for tat"...... 

Usually i forget its even there


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Zaros said:


> My tuppence ha'penny's.
> 
> Red rep is just a base for causing trouble because it is almost always awarded with an unnecessary insult.
> 
> Then, when you believe your sense of moral outrage should be justified and you respond according to your principles the original sender runs off crying to the mods :cryin:


Well, I've given red rep probably no more than five times since I've been on the forum.

The last one I gave was to a member calling people racist.

It just seems there's a lot of newbies who come on here seeking advice and they're red repped. Some can be a little more understanding but I've just read a thread now and the newbie in question has a red square. They probably don't even know what it is but I found it unfair on their part and I couldn't understand why they had received it either. Some people hand them out like sweets.

I think it's unfair because when we see a member with a red square or more than one we immediately assume they must be unpleasant to have received such reps. But it's not always the case.


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## catpud (Nov 9, 2013)

I like the green rep - the posts they are received on are usually those posts that you have thought really hard about, researched and made sure they are useful and clear, and if not then it's posts that are full of good news and such, it's nice to know somebody thinks you posted well, or did something good. 

The red rep, yes I can see that it might be misused. I have never given or received red rep, it seems like something that should be reserved for particularly nasty or dangerous posts, and I would point out on the rep what it was given for, I wouldn't then insult the person. 

It is worrying if requests for advice are being met with red rep - surely pointing out what can be improved and explaining to the poster would be of more use in those cases? 

I think maybe some extra monitoring is in order to make sure people are not being bombarded with red rep for advice requests if that is happening.


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## javi (Feb 10, 2015)

So being a newbie myself, i haven't a clue what reps are 
Green rep, red rep? i'm curious...i take it red reps aren't good...how do i find out if i have them?


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Blackcats said:


> It just seems there's a lot of newbies who come on here seeking advice and they're red repped. .


Your original post names Cat Forums as the worst of the culprits.

And that's why I steer clear of the place.:yesnod:

I don't have a Cat.:nonod:


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## missRV (Nov 9, 2012)

I like the rep system, I like giving green blobs when someone spends time to answer questions, I also like to write on people's VMs to communicate gratitude. 

As for the red reps, I don't see the point of branding someone just because you don't agree with what they're saying. If I really dislike a post for good reason then I will report it.


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

I have a cat, but I never post in the Cat section - I think cat people are far worse than dog people :lol:

This isn't me wanting a red rep by the way :lol: :nonod:


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

I find the rep system quite good. I rarely give it and rarely receive it (never red) so when given or received it seems rather nice 

On the odd occasion, I have given rep to someone as a support when others seem to be rather judgmental, it's sometimes better to give support on the QT. It can be done through the pm system too, but not to newbies unfortunately, and they sometimes do need support from the masses on here


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

I've only given rep to a handful of people....and have never red repped someone. I just don't see the point in getting myself that worked up over a thread that I end up feeling the need to 'red rep ' them as it means nothing. Or even stick them on ignore which I've never done either. So, no, it doesn't bother me. I think it's a nice added touch to show appreciation of someone's post etc, but I guess it's nothing that couldn't be done by leaving them a message to show your appreciation too.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Zaros said:


> Your original post names Cat Forums as the worst of the culprits.
> 
> And that's why I steer clear of the place.:yesnod:
> 
> I don't have a Cat.:nonod:


I wouldn't know to be honest. I only venture into general and the cat side so have no idea what could be the worst side of the forum in regards to red reppers.

I see it a lot more within the cat section. Some justifiable. Others not so much.

I think the rep system should be removed entirely and just stick with the thank and liking system.


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## Mr Gizmo (Jul 1, 2009)

javi said:


> So being a newbie myself, i haven't a clue what reps are
> Green rep, red rep? i'm curious...i take it red reps aren't good...how do i find out if i have them?


Here you are. 

http://www.petforums.co.uk/forum-help-and-suggestions/9469-how-leave-rep.html

ETA:-to find out if you have received rep. click on edit profile in top left corner of screen below thw the banner.

http://www.petforums.co.uk/usercp.php


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Hanwombat said:


> I have a cat, but I never post in the Cat section - I think cat people are far worse than dog people :lol:
> 
> This isn't me wanting a red rep by the way :lol: :nonod:


Hahaha.

I've ventured into dog chat a few times. Don't own a dog myself but it's always interesting to read some of the threads.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Blackcats said:


> What are your thoughts on the rep system?
> 
> Should it be removed? I know a lot of people have voiced that opinion and have felt it causes more issues than anything else.
> 
> ...


I give rep when I think someone has made a really useful or prophetic post.

I have never given red rep - just not bothered enough to waste my time on someone.

I have only received one red rep and I simply ignored it. Apparently, it was because I was being obtuse  :dita: BOVVERED? 

So, I don't honestly take much notice of red rep.


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## ForestWomble (May 2, 2013)

I think the rep system should stay. 

As for the Red rep........ maybe it could be set that only once you have been here a little you can be given red rep to stop the newbies being given red rep for no reason. Maybe rep giving could be monitored?


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## soulful dog (Nov 6, 2011)

I didn't even realise you could give rep. I've noticed the green dots under people's names but thought it was linked to the likes/thanks people got from their posts. 

I'll probably just continue to thank/like posts and leave it at that, the rep system seems a little superfluous in addition to that, especially if people are using it negatively?


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## javi (Feb 10, 2015)

Mr Gizmo said:


> Here you are.
> 
> http://www.petforums.co.uk/forum-help-and-suggestions/9469-how-leave-rep.html
> 
> ...


Thank you for the help, i think i get it now 
Oh and i got a green rep aswell :thumbup:


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## redroses2106 (Aug 21, 2011)

I don't really care - I never remember to check mines, it would be nice to get a notification when you get repped so you could thank the person, but wouldn't lose any sleep over a red one, have gave out two or three I think I usually just "like" posts and rarely rep, people give red reps out for their own reasons, I don't judge a newbie who has a red square I will reply to them exactly the same as I would to someone with a green square - in the grand scheme of life it is a pretty insignificant thing tbh, but I see no reason to get rid of the system


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

I like the rep system and I would like it to stay.

There are occasions when posts are made that are worth much more than just a 'like' and being able to give rep is a way of showing how worthy that post was to you as an individual.

It is too easy to be 'like' happy - reps require more thought and effort. As such, they are often more appreciated by the recipient for that reason.

I have used red rep a handful of times. The recipients usually ended up being banned for trolling so the bad rep was deserved.

People who do tit-for-tat red repping are simply pathetic and not worthy of discussion.

.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

I can think of at least one case where someone had red next to their name for daring to disagree with the PF hive mind on a particular issue. A perfectly reasonable poster who wasn't aggressive or trolling, just had a different view.
I have never given red rep or received it, seems like it's only good for causing ill feeling.


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## Valanita (Apr 13, 2010)

I have never used a red rep. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. 
When I have tried to give a good rep, because it was deserved I was told I had to spread it around & that person couldn't have one.
I rarely give out good reps so I think that is unfair.
So yes, scrap the ruddy things, but keep the likes & thank yous for posts.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Didn't the forum once have stars on threads where you could rate them or something? I'm sure I've seen that mentioned and told it still applies to somewhere. 

I agree with the positive rep side of things. It's nice to receive it and I enjoy giving it to people when I really do like their post. I give a lot of positive rep to the posts in discussions which go through both sides of the discussion, looking at difference of opinions. A lot of thought goes into it and there's understanding too.

But the red rep does cause so many problems. And we can't get rid of one and not the other I guess. There are some people who red rep for tit for tat and continuously red rep members. I don't understand it to be honest. And from past experience of that, this is why I feel it's unfair when newbies get red rep for simply asking for advice. Some people's attitude change then in their posts. Totally uncalled for.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

I like the rep system too although I've never given a red rep and doubt I ever will. Like others I would report a post if I felt it was bullying or too OTT with foul language but I don't think anyone should be given red rep for just asking a question or for having a different opinion to someone else. I do think red rep is open to abuse from people being vindictive. So I guess I would keep the green rep but get rid of the red rep if there was ever a vote.


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

I thought people only had a red rep if they had been reported for bad posts? I have given a couple of red ones I think, is that what they get when you click on the warning triangle?

Do we not all start on no squares? I never noticed in the begining tbh. I like green ones though


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

*I like the good rep. but would like to see the red rep gone. But in it's place we should have a don't like button. *


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

JANICE199 said:


> *I like the good rep. but would like to see the red rep gone. But in it's place we should have a don't like button. *


It would be interesting to see which people would dislike your posts, ha.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Muttly said:


> I thought people only had a red rep if they had been reported for bad posts? I have given a couple of red ones I think, is that what they get when you click on the warning triangle?
> 
> Do we not all start on no squares? I never noticed in the begining tbh. I like green ones though


Nope, nothing to do with reporting posts. Red rep is given just like you would give green rep. The more red you get the more squares get removed or if you have none then a red square becomes added. Like green adds squares.

The red triangle is to report a post.


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

Blackcats said:


> It would be interesting to see which people would dislike your posts, ha.


*haha i usually get to find out via my posts.*


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## Guest (Feb 23, 2015)

I like the green  Both giving and receiving 

The red I just don't get. To my way of thinking, if a post is bad enough to warrant red-rep, it's bad enough to report. So I just report without bothering to engage the person further with red-rep. I would never give red rep over a difference of opinion or even a strong disagreement. That's the nature of forums... *shrug*


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## catz4m8z (Aug 27, 2008)

Ive never given any rep, good or bad....also never liked anybody either! If I have an opinion I prefer to type a response rather then clicking on a little button!
TBH half the time I forget that there are real people on the other end of this forum!


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

Blackcats said:


> Well, I've given red rep probably no more than five times since I've been on the forum.
> 
> The last one I gave was to a member calling people racist.
> 
> ...


I think there have been a fair few trolls coming on here too...and some of them got red repped cos I gave one out which is not a regular thing for me.

The green blobbies are good, shows you agree and its a good point. We should have another rep colour...maybe purple or something for when someone posts and excellent point and it makes you question something you always thought was correct.

Trolls can only be newbies if you think about it cos they don't waste time and months being good and then go nuts and troll. Not usually anyway.

All the members I have seen with a couple of red blobs have been suspect anyway.


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

ouesi said:


> I like the green  Both giving and receiving
> 
> The red I just don't get. To my way of thinking, if a post is bad enough to warrant red-rep, it's bad enough to report. So I just report without bothering to engage the person further with red-rep. I would never give red rep over a difference of opinion or even a strong disagreement. That's the nature of forums... *shrug*


Sometimes a post can just be downright rude. Not enough to warrant reporting but enough to merit a disapproving red-rep. The 5 or 6 red reps I have given have always been for really rude posts.

I fail to see the point in red-repping for someone having a difference of opinion - that defeats the whole point of a discussion!!! 

.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

ouesi said:


> I like the green  Both giving and receiving
> 
> The red I just don't get. To my way of thinking, if a post is bad enough to warrant red-rep, it's bad enough to report. So I just report without bothering to engage the person further with red-rep. I would never give red rep over a difference of opinion or even a strong disagreement. That's the nature of forums... *shrug*


Completely agree. I've never given red rep for someone's difference of opinion. It's nice to hear other people's views. That's what a discussion is. My favourite threads to read.

Which is why I don't understand with some threads where discussions get pretty heated people become too personal just because someone doesn't agree and it makes them a monster because they don't.

On IG I was following an animal revenge page. They raised important issues into animal cruelty and made people aware. However, I felt they were being more forceful than educating when they put posts saying meat eaters wouldn't care about their posts of animal cruelty and it was for the vegetarians. I said it was unfair to say such a thing and if they really felt that way and if the meat eaters against such acts suddenly stopped giving support they'd lose a lot of people.

There were a few rude comments. I unfollowed them in the end because it was the same posts all the time.

My opinion wasn't wanted so it was the easiest thing to do.


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

ouesi said:


> I like the green  Both giving and receiving
> 
> The red I just don't get. To my way of thinking, if a post is bad enough to warrant red-rep, it's bad enough to report. So I just report without bothering to engage the person further with red-rep. I would never give red rep over a difference of opinion or even a strong disagreement. That's the nature of forums... *shrug*


what would warrant reporting?

I have reported posters when I see them bullying others. I have red repped when I see posters posting stuff that is designed to flame everybody else.

A difference of opinion is healthy..even when some don't and won't ever see eye to eye on any given subject..as long as it doesn't get personal and nasty, that's fine with me.


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## porps (Jun 23, 2011)

its pixels on a screen

Always find it amusing when people say "im red repping you for this post!"... like i should care for some reason


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## Guest (Feb 23, 2015)

lilythepink said:


> what would warrant reporting?
> 
> I have reported posters when I see them bullying others. I have red repped when I see posters posting stuff that is designed to flame everybody else.
> 
> A difference of opinion is healthy..even when some don't and won't ever see eye to eye on any given subject..as long as it doesn't get personal and nasty, that's fine with me.


I go by the TOU



> Respect
> This is a site which enjoys the company of members from all over the world. While healthy debate is encouraged, please have the courtesy to respect the views of others. Please do not use obscene or offensive language, or engage in personal attacks or "flaming" of other members. This will not be tolerated and Pet Forums staff will be entitled to suspend users accounts.


If it's to the point that I would give red rep for it, it's probably to the point where a mod needs to know about it.

Sometimes I doubt myself and think I'm just being overly sensitive, so in those cases I leave it alone. 9X out of 10 the poster goes on to escalate and become without a doubt abusive and worth reproting.

But yeah, if the poster is getting personal to the point it needs to be reported, I sure don't feel the need to engage further with a red rep.


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## Fleur (Jul 19, 2008)

I've never used Red rep - I don't really see the point and I think it can promote bad feeling.
I do use green rep - not as often as I should though as I often forget  - and I like it - it's a way of showing support, thanking someone for going above and beyond for someone else.
And sometimes when all hell has broken out it's useful to show someone they have support.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

I think over half the red repping comes from little squabbles elsewhere (FB) that follows a person onto PF 

That's why, half the time you can't see why!!


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

I did my first negative rep yesterday as I thought something was appallingly badly timed and I reported a user now not here for his being very insensitive to a post on childlessness that it actually took my breath away.

But I do give out good rep now and then for posts that mean a lot to me or have cheered me up, made me smile. I think it's a good thing to do and in our wee world means a lot when it can get heated. I will also say that I liked the post. 

I am however terrible at liking and thanking posts, a poor habit and I should try to do that more.


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## poohdog (May 16, 2010)

*Never take any notice of it...*


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## Guest (Feb 23, 2015)

MollySmith said:


> I did my first negative rep yesterday as I thought something was appallingly badly timed and I reported a user now not here for his being very insensitive to a post on childlessness that it actually took my breath away.
> 
> But I do give out good rep now and then for posts that mean a lot to me or have cheered me up, made me smile. I think it's a good thing to do and in our wee world means a lot when it can get heated. I will also say that I liked the post.
> 
> I am however terrible at liking and thanking posts, a poor habit and I should try to do that more.


Now I'm curious wondering what warranted a red rep from you!


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## MontyMaude (Feb 23, 2012)

Hanwombat said:


> I have a cat, but I never post in the Cat section - I think cat people are far worse than dog people :lol:
> 
> This isn't me wanting a red rep by the way :lol: :nonod:


I think Cat Chat is positively warm and fuzzy compared to some is the threads I've seen in dog chat :eek6:

I dislike the repping systeming, I much prefer the likes because it's all out in the open, but I would love a dislike button, and it has been known that people have deviously warned others over the wrath of their red rep because supposedly the more green blobs you have the more your repping is worth or more importantly how much you can take away, plus some seem to think that they are something special because the have a lot of green blobs, I would just prefer a like/dislike button and no green blobs so everyone is on a level playing field.


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## Jellypi3 (Jan 3, 2014)

MontyMaude said:


> I dislike the repping systeming, I much prefer the likes because it's all out in the open, but I would love a dislike button, and it has been known that people have deviously warned others over the wrath of their red rep because supposedly the more green blobs you have the more your repping is worth or more importantly how much you can take away, plus some seem to think that they are something special because the have a lot of green blobs, I would just prefer a like/dislike button and no green blobs so everyone is on a level playing field.


Totally agree with this. I have even seen posts where people have taken the advice of people with lots of green blobs and ignored those with fewer blobs.

I say remove the blobs and just have likes and dislikes


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Blackcats said:


> What are your thoughts on the rep system?
> 
> Should it be removed? I know a lot of people have voiced that opinion and have felt it causes more issues than anything else.
> 
> ...


I've given a lot of green reps - I think it is encouraging for new or under confident members.

I have only given two red reps, and they weren't for things said to me, but for nasty comments made to/about other people, and I have explained why (Not - "You are a snide b'stard" - More like "That was a cruel and unnecessary comment and it's only purpose was to make the OP feel like cr*p.")

Twice I have received a flurry of tit-for-tat reps from whoever, and from their cronies, along with some foul abuse. If it makes them happy - so be it. Perhaps take away the red rep system. I like to be able to give a green.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Valanita said:


> I have never used a red rep. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
> *When I have tried to give a good rep, because it was deserved I was told I had to spread it around & that person couldn't have one.*
> I rarely give out good reps so I think that is unfair.
> So yes, scrap the ruddy things, but keep the likes & thank yous for posts.


This annoys me too - if someone posts ten good posts, why shouldn't you be able to credit them for it?


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

ouesi said:


> Now I'm curious wondering what warranted a red rep from you!


Hehe  It was a thread you were on!


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

JANICE199 said:


> *I like the good rep. but would like to see the red rep gone. But in it's place we should have a don't like button. *


I did suggest this idea once.:yesnod:

But it didn't appear to be received so well.:sad:

Perhaps, just to liven the place up a little, we could have an 'Eff Off' button instead:001_unsure:

Something along the lines of a buzzer type of affair that flashes up an on screen notification with the words;

HEY, YOU THERE; EFF OFF! AND WHEN YOU GET THERE KINDLY EFF OFF FROM THERE TOO.
THEN EFF OFF A BIT MORE AND KEEP ON EFFIN OFF UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF PLACES TO EFF OFF TO.

The concept would certainly get my support and if the powers that be completely reject the idea, then I'm more than certain they'll soon become acquainted with my Grandma's favourite finger.:001_smile:..........


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## Polski (Mar 16, 2014)

Blackcats said:


> What are your thoughts on the rep system?
> 
> Should it be removed? I know a lot of people have voiced that opinion and have felt it causes more issues than anything else.
> 
> ...


Yes, I saw one today that had single figure number of posts and was red...I looked at all their posts and nothing warranted red rep but there was one post where they could possibly have been educated a little. Someone else obviously thought the same as me because I was going to give a green blob to get rid of the red but someone beat me to it.

I'm not sure about doing away with it but maybe link red rep to reporting, if they get reported for a post and the mods delete/or have need to edit then it stays. I don't think its fair that you can red rep purely for a difference of opinion or for naivety etc. Never given one, doubt I ever will.


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## Guest (Feb 23, 2015)

MollySmith said:


> Hehe  It was a thread you were on!


 As long as I was not the one causing offense!


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

ouesi said:


> As long as I was not the one causing offense!


Nope, not at all


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## Laurac (Oct 1, 2011)

I think it would be a good idea to get rid of rep and likes. I fully admit to using the red rep a few times in a peevish manner and have immediately regretted it. The like button arguably stops people voicing an opinion - either by pressing the like button instead of commenting or more importantly being put off commenting because their view is at odds with the opinion that has already garnered lots of likes. If there were no likes and no rep everyone would be posting on a level playing field without being influenced in any way.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Polski said:


> Yes, I saw one today that had single figure number of posts and was red...I looked at all their posts and nothing warranted red rep but there was one post where they could possibly have been educated a little. Someone else obviously thought the same as me because I was going to give a green blob to get rid of the red but someone beat me to it.
> 
> I'm not sure about doing away with it but maybe link red rep to reporting, if they get reported for a post and the mods delete/or have need to edit then it stays. I don't think its fair that you can red rep purely for a difference of opinion or for naivety etc. Never given one, doubt I ever will.


I gave them a green one and so did someone else as it was purple after so must have been someone new to the forum as well.

Was a shame to see it to be honest. I could have just said nothing and let the thread continue as it was going fine but if nothing gets said you then get those people who give the red rep out a lot to continue to do it and it does cause issues on the forum when people start to get targeted.

I think you can report negative rep and have it removed but it still lowers your score I think. So if the red rep is removed the red square still stays. Just you can't view it on your rep part.

I still don't think it warranted a red rep. I see so many people truly believe dry food is good for their cats, particularly when they have their vets recommend it.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Jellypi3 said:


> Totally agree with this. I have even seen posts where people have taken the advice of people with lots of green blobs and ignored those with fewer blobs.
> 
> I say remove the blobs and just have likes and dislikes


Agree with this absolutely.

I remember someone once mentioned this. ''Why does someone post something and it gets ignored and then someone says the same thing and they get dozens of replies and likes, etc.''

I have noticed that a lot. And the person pretty much repeating what the first person says gets listened too.

More blobs doesn't make anyone more educated.


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## Polski (Mar 16, 2014)

Blackcats said:


> I gave them a green one and so did someone else as it was purple after so must have been someone new to the forum as well.
> 
> Was a shame to see it to be honest. I could have just said nothing and let the thread continue as it was going fine but if nothing gets said you then get those people who give the red rep out a lot to continue to do it and it does cause issues on the forum when people start to get targeted.
> 
> ...


Thats the one. I didn't read all the comments on the thread, just read all their comments to see what warranted a red and nothing did. It really should be used in the very worst cases, only those that are reportable IMO


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Laurac said:


> I think it would be a good idea to get rid of rep and likes. I fully admit to using the red rep a few times in a peevish manner and have immediately regretted it. The like button arguably stops people voicing an opinion - either by pressing the like button instead of commenting or more importantly being put off commenting because their view is at odds with the opinion that has already garnered lots of likes. If there were no likes and no rep everyone would be posting on a level playing field without being influenced in any way.


I agree with this actually. I've never thought about it before but there have been times where I've been reading a thread and have worried in voicing my opinion because all the posts are of a different opinion to mine and have a lot of likes.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Polski said:


> Thats the one. I didn't read all the comments on the thread, just read all their comments to see what warranted a red and nothing did. It really should be used in the very worst cases, only those that are reportable IMO


I know. I looked for the post people had mentioned that could have been the reason and I could not find it.


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

sometimes a like says it all, or says what somebody or even a few have already said. Sometimes there are no words and a like is all that is needed


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Blackcats said:


> I see so many people truly believe dry food is good for their cats,* particularly when they have their vets recommend it*.


One simply should not believe everything a vet tells them just because the vet is being paid commission for pushing Hills or Purina or whatever else they happen to be inundated with as flavour of the month.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

And it's nice to see we're at page 6 talking about reps and an argument hasn't broken out. I will admit to slightly worrying about posting this at first as rep threads have caused issues in the past.

So kudos!


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

Blackcats said:


> I agree with this actually. I've never thought about it before but there have been times where I've been reading a thread and have worried in voicing my opinion because all the posts are of a different opinion to mine and have a lot of likes.


Be like me and be at odds with the majority. Odd how you then find that you are actually in the silent majority of those people that don't feel the need to ram things down others throats


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

lilythepink said:


> sometimes a like says it all, or says what somebody or even a few have already said. Sometimes there are no words and a like is all that is needed



*Like*:001_smile:​


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

Blackcats said:


> I agree with this actually. I've never thought about it before but there have been times where I've been reading a thread and have worried in voicing my opinion because all the posts are of a different opinion to mine and have a lot of likes.


That's exactly the reason why you should put your opinion forwards. I think a lot of people are a bit like the emperors new clothes and just go with the flow and don't have an opinion of their own.

Its ok to disagree...even better when someone can put forwards a good viewpoint that does differ from your own...cos that's the post that makes you think...and change can be a wonderful thing.


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

rona said:


> Be like me and be at odds with the majority. Odd how you then find that you are actually in the silent majority of those people that don't feel the need to ram things down others throats


and because you are at odds with the majority, your posts are the very ones that make me listen all the harder.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Zaros said:


> One simply should not believe everything a vet tells them just because the vet is being paid commission for pushing Hills or Purina or whatever else they happen to be inundated with as flavour of the month.


True but some people put a lot of trust in their vets so if they tell them dry food is good they believe it. I've seen so many newbies come on here and show such surprise when members explain why wet food is better and dry isn't very good for felines at all.

People don't lie and people don't deserve red rep because of it. Just my opinion though.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

lilythepink said:


> and because you are at odds with the majority, your posts are the very ones that make me listen all the harder.


Yes agree.

And those from people who have had experiences in the discussion. I may not agree but huge respect to them for speaking up.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> Yes agree.
> 
> And those from people who have had experiences in the discussion. I may not agree but huge respect to them for speaking up.


That's the difference thought isn't it. Some can't bear to be disagreed with and others just put forward their own opinion/experiences without any concern if others agree or not.


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

Blackcats said:


> Completely agree. I've never given red rep for someone's difference of opinion. It's nice to hear other people's views. That's what a discussion is. My favourite threads to read.
> 
> *Which is why I don't understand with some threads where discussions get pretty heated people become too personal just because someone doesn't agree and it makes them a monster because they don't.*
> 
> ...


BIB is what I recently just discovered for the first time. Did upset me some what too....
I think you'll always have the forum members who just can't make their point without getting personal etc. But it does make them less credible IMO. But it's the nature of forums I guess.

Still didn't red rep them or ignore them though


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

rona said:


> That's the difference thought isn't it. Some can't bear to be disagreed with and others just put forward their own opinion/experiences without any concern if others agree or not.


Oh totally isn't it? Especially the political threads - I just keep as far away from them as I can. Give me five lists or a quiz any day, better for my sanity


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

Members here come from all over the world. So many of differing age groups and common denominator is pets.

Bound to have a differing opinion and nobody should be ridiculed for that opinion.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> Oh totally isn't it? Especially the political threads - I just keep as far away from them as I can. Give me five lists or a quiz any day, better for my sanity


The trouble with me is I often see them as very funny :blushing:


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

rona said:


> The trouble with me is I often see them as very funny :blushing:


I do now, I didn't for a while! But GC is much nicer after a few members were banned


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

MollySmith said:


> Oh totally isn't it? Especially the political threads - I just keep as far away from them as I can. Give me five lists or a quiz any day, better for my sanity


Same here. Just like the discussions that come up quite a bit on meat eaters. I just read them now as they got round in circles and posts back and forth. Members posting articles and the other still sticking to their opinion where more articles are thrown at them.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

MollySmith said:


> I do now, I didn't for a while! But GC is much nicer after a few members were banned


I agree. In fact I think this year so far and last has been quite quiet on the forum with not much hassle. There were a few members who kept making new accounts after getting banned but it stopped quickly.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Blackcats said:


> Same here. Just like the discussions that come up quite a bit on meat eaters. I just read them now as they got round in circles and posts back and forth. Members posting articles and the other still sticking to their opinion where more articles are thrown at them.


Add to that 
raw feeders
UKIP
Benefits
and endless others.. usually threads started by those who are now banned 

It is daft, we've all got things to learn and I can now pick out both on here and dog chat who will post things worth reading and those who rant. The ranters are mostly on ignore apart from the one who are amusing.

But yes, luckily (and finally) the most irritating people have gone for now.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Laurac said:


> I think it would be a good idea to get rid of rep and likes. I fully admit to using the red rep a few times in a peevish manner and have immediately regretted it. The like button arguably stops people voicing an opinion - either by pressing the like button instead of commenting or more importantly being put off commenting because their view is at odds with the opinion that has already garnered lots of likes. If there were no likes and no rep everyone would be posting on a level playing field without being influenced in any way.


I can honestly say it doesn't have that effect on me. I'll voice my opinion whether it goes against the majority or not and how many likes a post has doesn't influence how I reply to it at all.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> I can honestly say it doesn't have that effect on me. I'll voice my opinion whether it goes against the majority or not and how many likes a post has doesn't influence how I reply to it at all.


Sorry not liking to keep you quiet  I agree with what you're saying. Like doesn't equate acceptance from the overall thread just a few people, generally I don't think.

*goes back to Broadchurch*


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

rona said:


> The trouble with me is I often see them as very funny :blushing:


*Could that be because you do not understand them?*


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

MollySmith said:


> Add to that
> raw feeders
> UKIP
> Benefits
> ...


You made me think of T&T with that list. They're banned for some reason. 

Can miss a lot on the forum, even in the space of five minutes on some days.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Blackcats said:


> You made me think of T&T with that list. They're banned for some reason.
> 
> Can miss a lot on the forum, even in the space of five minutes on some days.


I think he asked to be banned to cut down on his forum use which he finds difficult to limit otherwise.


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## myshkin (Mar 23, 2010)

The reps can be a nice way of showing support for people who (sensibly) don't want to publicly disagree with the vocal majority.
Most of my rep comes from those times when it appears that no-one agrees and the mob has declared my opinion to be null and void......the reps come from those who had more sense than to get into the debate but are glad someone challenged the schoolyard complacency of "lots of people agree so I must be right".
But overall, reps and likes feed into the schoolyard way of thinking - it's another form of peer pressure which affects people's decision to post or not.


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

myshkin said:


> The reps can be a nice way of showing support for people who (sensibly) don't want to publicly disagree with the vocal majority.
> Most of my rep comes from those times when it appears that no-one agrees and the mob has declared my opinion to be null and void......the reps come from those who had more sense than to get into the debate but are glad someone challenged the schoolyard complacency of "lots of people agree so I must be right".
> But overall, reps and likes feed into the schoolyard way of thinking - it's another form of peer pressure which affects people's decision to post or not.


emperors new clothes brigade....don't have their own opinion on anything.lol


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

myshkin said:


> The reps can be a nice way of showing support for people who (sensibly) don't want to publicly disagree with the vocal majority.
> Most of my rep comes from those times when it appears that no-one agrees and the mob has declared my opinion to be null and void......the reps come from those who had more sense than to get into the debate but are glad someone challenged the schoolyard complacency of "lots of people agree so I must be right".
> But overall, reps and likes feed into the schoolyard way of thinking - it's another form of peer pressure which affects people's decision to post or not.


Said far better than I :thumbsup:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

myshkin said:


> The reps can be a nice way of showing support for people who (sensibly) don't want to publicly disagree with the vocal majority.
> Most of my rep comes from those times when it appears that no-one agrees and the mob has declared my opinion to be null and void......the *reps come from those who had more sense than to get into the debate but are glad someone challenged the schoolyard complacency of "lots of people agree so I must be right".*
> But overall, reps and likes feed into the schoolyard way of thinking - it's another form of peer pressure which affects people's decision to post or not.


I agree - especially as sometimes bullying starts and it becomes a feeding frenzy of spite and nastiness. Most people, very understandably, just want to steer clear because they know it is difficult to get a point across with the bullies - they will deliberately twist and misrepresent what has been said and it is just too exhausting.

I think that this is not only unfair on people in the discussion, but also to new members who might look at the carnage and think - "Blimey! I daren't comment/ask a question here." We'll put people off.

I think being forthright is fine - though sometimes with new members who might not have learned to express themselves well in posts, maybe it should be curtailed - but rudeness and misrepresentation (not misunderstanding - that is different and can get explained if people are courteous to each other) isn't appropriate at any time.

There are some people who seem to see "trigger" words, and disregarding the rest of the post, charge in on their hobby horse and disrupt everything, taking the thread off topic, intimidating others, and generally not giving the author of the "offending" post a chance to explain.

I don't like that sort of behaviour.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Blackcats said:


> Didn't the forum once have stars on threads where you could rate them or something? I'm sure I've seen that mentioned and told it still applies to somewhere.
> 
> I agree with the positive rep side of things. It's nice to receive it and I enjoy giving it to people when I really do like their post. I give a lot of positive rep to the posts in discussions which go through both sides of the discussion, looking at difference of opinions. A lot of thought goes into it and there's understanding too.
> 
> But the red rep does cause so many problems.* And we can't get rid of one and not the other I guess. *There are some people who red rep for tit for tat and continuously red rep members. I don't understand it to be honest. And from past experience of that, this is why I feel it's unfair when newbies get red rep for simply asking for advice. Some people's attitude change then in their posts. Totally uncalled for.


Sure we can. This is the only forum using rep that I know of that has both. Most places that use rep have disabled the negative rep option.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

If it goes then we need a way of contacting newbies to support them off forum.

Going against the masses usually ends up with a row and that doesn't help a person in need


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## Jesthar (May 16, 2011)

lostbear said:


> I agree - especially as sometimes bullying starts and it becomes a feeding frenzy of spite and nastiness. Most people, very understandably, just want to steer clear because they know it is difficult to get a point across with the bullies - they will deliberately twist and misrepresent what has been said and it is just too exhausting.
> 
> I think that this is not only unfair on people in the discussion, but also to new members who might look at the carnage and think - "Blimey! I daren't comment/ask a question here." We'll put people off.
> 
> ...


Agreed - personally I'd add 'passive-aggressive use of emoticons' to the intimidation list, too. The amount of times I have seen genuine questions or viewpoints met with a brief, dismissive (or even snide) comment with a , ,  or  tagged on the end is rather depressing at times.

Personally I think the likes and rep system is OK.

'Like' allows me to say 'This post is good' without having to actually waste a post and creating unnecessary extra reading to say it. The newer 'Thank' element allows me to go take that one step further if I really appreciate a post beyond the point of just liking it.

Rep I reserve for posts that really, really earn it - those that are spectacularly helpful, supportive or insightful (or - occasionally - brilliantly funny!).

I have never red repped anyone, and I've only come close once (that member ended up banned anyway). I have been red repped once, but that was a misunderstanding, and once that was cleared up they green-repped it away. Oddly enough, that member also ended up banned eventually.

I don't think that a 'Dislike' option would be good, though. Red rep is invisible to all but the repper and the rep-ee, and still causes enough of a ruckus from time to time. Visible negativity will only take things one way - downhill, angrily!


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

I think the "like" systemi is much more open to abuse, and much more intimidating to newbies, than the "rep" system. The rep system is private, and once you have a certain number of green squares against your username, it doesn't matter how many reps you receive, no-one knows about it. As Myshkin has pointed out, it is a very good way for people to let you know they agree with you and support you, without falling foul of the people who disagree with you.

The "like" system, however, is abused almost every day on the forum. For example, there is one poster on here who autiomatically "likes" every post that disagrees with something I write - it's a childish, schoolyard way of poking at someone. Doesn't bother me in the least - I just laugh at her every time she does it because she ends up "liking" some stupid posts - but if she were to take a dislike to a newbie and do that it would be upsetting and very visible.

I don't mind either the "rep" system or the "like" system - I use both regularly. I very rarely use red rep - and not because several people on the forum are banding together to make he use of red rep seem reprehensible, but because if I disagree with someone so much I much prefer to say so in a post in plain view.

But then, I'm not the sort of two-faced person who pretends to be really nice - especially to newbiies - and then gives their true nature away in their abuse of "likes".


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

Spellweaver said:


> I think the "like" systemi is much more open to abuse, and much more intimidating to newbies, than the "rep" system. The rep system is private, and once you have a certain number of green squares against your username, it doesn't matter how many reps you receive, no-one knows about it. As Myshkin has pointed out, it is a very good way for people to let you know they agree with you and support you, without falling foul of the people who disagree with you.
> 
> The "like" system, however, is abused almost every day on the forum. For example, there is one poster on here who autiomatically "likes" every post that disagrees with something I write - it's a childish, schoolyard way of poking at someone. Doesn't bother me in the least - I just laugh at her every time she does it because she ends up "liking" some stupid posts - but if she were to take a dislike to a newbie and do that it would be upsetting and very visible.
> 
> ...


I think this happens a lot....some snide people like anything that is posted where we disagree...and you are right, it is childish


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

lilythepink said:


> I think this happens a lot....some snide people like anything that is posted where we disagree...and you are right, it is childish


What makes me laugh is that they don't realise how open their actions are - and how it exposes their two-facedness.

I'd much rather have someone (and there are plenty on the forum, thank goodness) with whom I can have a good old healthy disagreement, without rancour, on one subject, and then absolutely agree with them on another. They more than make up for the snide, two-faced folk and make it a pleasure to be on the forum.


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## myshkin (Mar 23, 2010)

lilythepink said:


> I think this happens a lot....some snide people like anything that is posted where we disagree...and you are right, it is childish


After I clicked like, I realised that I'm liking something that those people would disagree with and now my brain is all tangled up!

I realise the irony in liking that post! 😅


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## porps (Jun 23, 2011)

i wouldnt mind seeing dislikes aswell as likes, and then switch to only positive repping. that might be ok


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Spellweaver said:


> I think the "like" systemi is much more open to abuse, and much more intimidating to newbies, than the "rep" system. The rep system is private, and once you have a certain number of green squares against your username, it doesn't matter how many reps you receive, no-one knows about it. As Myshkin has pointed out, it is a very good way for people to let you know they agree with you and support you, without falling foul of the people who disagree with you.
> 
> The "like" system, however, is abused almost every day on the forum. For example, there is one poster on here who autiomatically "likes" every post that disagrees with something I write - it's a childish, schoolyard way of poking at someone. Doesn't bother me in the least - I just laugh at her every time she does it because she ends up "liking" some stupid posts - but if she were to take a dislike to a newbie and do that it would be upsetting and very visible.
> 
> ...


Some childish personal vendetta then?

It's quite sad to be honest. There's been plenty of times I haven't agreed with your posts and agreed with others and there's been plenty of times I've agreed with your posts and not others in discussions. It sounds like someone is holding a grudge against you to be honest and will like the opposite comment regardless if they think you are right? Some silly subtle way in telling you?

I do hate those people who hold grudges against you and have to let you know in their silly ways. By, as you say, liking comments that disagree with you always, posting sarcastic comments on your threads, etc.

I know a lot of people have said they don't see the point of the ignore facility but it does work wonders. Though the downside is you can still see their posts if they are quoted and what posts they like on your threads.

I've always admired your posting to be honest. If you want to say something you'll say it but there are members on here that if you disagree with them the same people who follow them on all their threads jump in and feel they need to defend them and turn a discussion into some silly game amongst each other talking in riddles. It can put you off big time.

I still think rep system should go, and I don't know about the dislike option. I think that would cause just as much issues as the red rep to be honest and everybody can see.


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## Guest (Feb 24, 2015)

Spellweaver said:


> What makes me laugh is that they don't realise how open their actions are - and how it exposes their two-facedness.
> 
> I'd much rather have someone (and there are plenty on the forum, thank goodness) with whom I can have a good old healthy disagreement, without rancour, on one subject, and then absolutely agree with them on another. They more than make up for the side, two-faced folk and make it a pleasure to be on the forum.


This  Im happy to disagree with folks and discuss why. Some of the most vehement disagreements Ive had with people are people I very much respect and enjoy exchanging messages with. We might be going at it on one thread while green repping and liking each others posts in another thread. To me that is healthy. Agreement all the time over everything just feels weird


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

I personally think a 'dislike' button would be a bad idea.
I do like the rep bit as I often look at it and lots shows that that person has made lots of useful posts, kinda shows their credibilty. (if people are using it properly that is).


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## sarybeagle (Nov 4, 2009)

On my phone its impossible to rep someone  the pop up opens but when you go to type it vanishes. No amount of repeatedly pressing it makes it stay and work. 

Its a shame as I often see such lovely posts and advice and I think that deserves rep. So instead I give a thank u instead.


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## porps (Jun 23, 2011)

sarybeagle said:


> On my phone its impossible to rep someone  the pop up opens but when you go to type it vanishes. No amount of repeatedly pressing it makes it stay and work.
> 
> Its a shame as I often see such lovely posts and advice and I think that deserves rep. So instead I give a thank u instead.


a decent pf phone app/site would be much apprieciated by a lot of people i think


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## ItsonlyChris (Mar 12, 2013)

I've never really cared about likes or reps since it's all up to you guys to decide on whether you want to give any but manipulating the system is a bit weird.

I remember going through a topic and liking everyone's posts one night because I was particularly happy.


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

myshkin said:


> After I clicked like, I realised that I'm liking something that those people would disagree with and now my brain is all tangled up!
> 
> I realise the irony in liking that post! &#55357;&#56837;


lol. maybe we should have an irony button.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

Blackcats said:


> I know a lot of people have said they don't see the point of the ignore facility but it does work wonders. Though the downside is you can still see their posts if they are quoted and what posts they like on your threads.


The ignore facility is great. :thumbup:

I wouldn't listen to certain people in real life. I certainly don't want to converse on here either 



ItsonlyChris said:


> I've never really cared about likes or reps since it's all up to you guys to decide on whether you want to give any but manipulating the system is a bit weird.
> .


Tis weird isn't it. Also weird to notice something like that


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

or just a I don't agree button but going to follow the rest of the thread anyway cos its interesting?


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## myshkin (Mar 23, 2010)

How about a "just following because I've seen cryptic posts about rows I've missed and am trying to work out who's not talking to each other" button.
It would take up half the screen...


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

Spellweaver said:


> What makes me laugh is that they don't realise how open their actions are - and how it exposes their two-facedness.
> 
> I'd much rather have someone (and there are plenty on the forum, thank goodness) with whom I can have a good old healthy disagreement, without rancour, on one subject, and then absolutely agree with them on another. They more than make up for the side, two-faced folk and make it a pleasure to be on the forum.


I love it when I have a fixed view on something and then I see a discussion and it makes me think maybe there s something fo me to learn here.

I really hate it when there is a discussion going and the holier than though, the emperors new clothes brigade all join together and between them they don't have an idea but its trendy so they bully newbies...like they will join in so they don't become the next target.

Everyone is an expert in their own field, even if they don't know it.


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

myshkin said:


> How about a "just following because I've seen cryptic posts about rows I've missed and am trying to work out who's not talking to each other" button.
> It would take up half the screen...


now you lost me...who isn't speaking to who?


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

myshkin said:


> How about a "just following because I've seen cryptic posts about rows I've missed and am trying to work out who's not talking to each other" button.
> It would take up half the screen...


I did a whole thread once, ran to about 10 pages I think, with someone I have on ignore. Didn't have to read the posts because I knew exactly what they would be saying :lol::lol::lol:

Quite amusing reading what others were saying though :laugh::laugh:

Am I BAD? :blushing::blushing::devil:


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

rona said:


> i did a whole thread once, ran to about 10 pages i think, with someone i have on ignore. Didn't have to read the posts because i knew exactly what they would be saying :lol::lol::lol:
> 
> Quite amusing reading what others were saying though :laugh::laugh:
> 
> Am i bad? :blushing::blushing::devil:


:d:d:d:d:d:d


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## myshkin (Mar 23, 2010)

lilythepink said:


> now you lost me...who isn't speaking to who?


I don't know! That's why I have to have a nosey! :laugh:


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

lilythepink said:


> :d:d:d:d:d:d


OOoo errr

Did you notice that in my post the Is were in capitals, but in your quote they weren't? :yikes:


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

I have one poster (now I think banned, not T&T who was actually fair at apologising) who I have never 'spoken' to in a thread. I refused to after an incident. I managed it for a whole year without putting them in ignore as I wanted to see what a total w....r they were


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## MontyMaude (Feb 23, 2012)

I have never put anyone on ignore as I'm far too nosey and want to see the drivel they post


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

rona said:


> I did a whole thread once, ran to about 10 pages I think, with someone I have on ignore. Didn't have to read the posts because I knew exactly what they would be saying :lol::lol::lol:
> 
> Quite amusing reading what others were saying though :laugh::laugh:
> 
> Am I BAD? :blushing::blushing::devil:


I'm so tempted to find this thread and have a guess at who it was. :lol:


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

Blackcats said:


> I'm so tempted to find this thread and have a guess at who it was. :lol:


I don't think I actually started the thread 

It was a few months ago now


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

lilythepink said:


> I love it when I have a fixed view on something and then I see a discussion and it makes me think maybe there s something fo me to learn here.


Absolutely - it's one of the best things about being in a discussion. I'll argue until the cows come home if I think I'm right, but on the occasions when I have thought, "Hang on a minute, she/he has a good point" I really feel I've learned something.

I feel really sorry for the people who are so afraid of having their own point of view challenged that they put people on "ignore". What must it be like to be so insecure? The only time I would advise the "iognore" button is if you are being attacked or bullied - then it is a very useful tool.



lilythepink said:


> I really hate it when there is a discussion going and the holier than though, the emperors new clothes brigade all join together and between them they don't have an idea but its trendy so they bully newbies...like they will join in so they don't become the next target.
> 
> Everyone is an expert in their own field, even if they don't know it.


Again - totally agree. I think some people forget that just because the PF emperors new clothes brigade (love that phrase!) say something is so, then it doesn't actually mean it is so. Those of us who have been around for a while know that, but newbies must think "wtf have I stepped into here!"


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

rona said:


> I don't think I actually started the thread
> 
> It was a few months ago now


Ooops. I thought you said you had started the thread.


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

MollySmith said:


> I have one poster (now I think banned, not T&T who was actually fair at apologising) who I have never 'spoken' to in a thread. I refused to after an incident. I managed it for a whole year without putting them in ignore as I wanted to see what a total w....r they were


This is what I do. I often ignore posts in that I take no notice of posts, or ignore cetain posters because I don't choose to reply to them, but I don't use the "ignore" button. I'd much rather see what people are saying than hide them away.

What really makes me laugh is the posters who say they have someone on ignore and then two or three posts later they answer points that the person they "ignore" has made. That happens quite a lot - and not just because someone else has quoted them either! And call me naughty, but I sometimes post things that I know they will rise to - and lo and behold; they do!


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Spellweaver said:


> Absolutely - it's one of the best things about being in a discussion. I'll argue until the cows come home if I think I'm right, but on the occasions when I have thought, "Hang on a minute, she/he has a good point" I really feel I've learned something.
> 
> I feel really sorry for the people who are so afraid of having their own point of view challenged that they put people on "ignore". What must it be like to be so insecure? The only time I would advise the "iognore" button is if you are being attacked or bullied - then it is a very useful tool.
> 
> Again - totally agree. I think some people forget that just because the PF emperors new clothes brigade (love that phrase!) say something is so, then it doesn't actually mean it is so. Those of us who have been around for a while know that, but newbies must think "wtf have I stepped into here!"


Are there really people who put others on ignore because they don't want their opinion challenged? Genuinely curious.

I know there are some people who go into a thread and post their opinion, leave it and don't care to see what others think about it. I think that's fair to be honest. It's a choice to get into a discussion or not. I know with discussion threads some people feel those that do that should go back to thread and answer questions being asked but then discussion threads doesn't mean people aren't allowed to post unless they decide to stay in on the discussion.

I love discussing opinions. I love discussions in general. Sometimes I post and other times I just read. All depends on the thread. I enjoy someone taking notice of my opinion and me taking notice of there's. You can learn a lot in discussions and become educated. It's nice to hear different opinions.

The best discussions are the ones where people can disagree but don't become personal to each other and take it to heart too much, etc. Those people you agree with at one point and don't the next but it's a healthy sort of thing.

If there are people who put others on ignore because they don't want their opinion challenged fair enough I guess. Though I suppose just choosing not to answer would be easier enough.

I only block those that I feel are continuously rude in their posts. You can tell are trying to bait. People who seem to only get in on threads to wind other people up, etc.

It's easier than saying something and getting a thread closed I think.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

I think most of this stuff goes over my head, I haven't a clue who is in the emperors new clothes brigade and I've only known one or two threads get really nasty. Lots of different opinions and debate can get quite heated but I do remember being shocked at a couple of things I saw posted on someone's wall by another member. I can't imagine doing that, I haven't got anyone on ignore either and the few people I've really not been impressed with because of the way they talk to other people I just don't get involved with.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Spellweaver said:


> This is what I do. I often ignore posts in that I take no notice of posts, but I don't use the "ignore" button. I'd much rather see what people are saying than hide them away.
> 
> *What really makes me laugh is the posters who say they have someone on ignore and then two or three posts later they answer points that the person they "ignore" has made. * That happens quite a lot - and not just because someone else has quoted them either! And call me naughty, but I sometimes post things that I know they will rise to - and lo and behold; they do!


You see, that's almost what I'm afraid I'd do and frankly I'm daft enough too 

What I hate more though than anyone being all 'new clothes' on me or bullying is when I've suggested a solution to a problem or given a link. Then the OP reps or thanks someone else who has done the same thing just more recently. That sounds so pathetic now I've said it 

I have no idea who the new clothes people are - bit worried it's me - a huge part of this just goes way over my head.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

MollySmith said:


> You see, that's almost what I'm afraid I'd do and frankly I'm daft enough too
> 
> What I hate more though than anyone being all 'new clothes' on me or bullying is when I've suggested a solution to a problem or given a link. Then the OP reps or thanks someone else who has done the same thing just more recently. That sounds so pathetic now I've said it
> 
> I have no idea who the new clothes people are - bit worried it's me - a huge part of this just goes way over my head.


Ha, I used to do that. When you had someone following you on all your threads and trying to derail it and make it personal by getting others involved and red repping you with vile comments behind the scenes made it hard to ignore such a person....on ignore.

Thankfully those sort of wacko members have gone so it's easier now.

I can see though why a lot of members just read and don't post. I go through that phase now and then.


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> I think most of this stuff goes over my head, I haven't a clue who is in the emperors new clothes brigade and I've only known one or two threads get really nasty. Lots of different opinions and debate can get quite heated but I do remember being shocked at a couple of things I saw posted on someone's wall by another member. I can't imagine doing that, I haven't got anyone on ignore either and the few people I've really not been impressed with because of the way they talk to other people I just don't get involved with.


the emperors new clothes brigade is no one in particular....its just any sheep that follow some supposed guru round and agree and like and thank them for any post


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## myshkin (Mar 23, 2010)

Blackcats said:


> Ha, I used to do that. When you had someone following you on all your threads and trying to derail it and make it personal by getting others involved and red repping you with vile comments behind the scenes made it hard to ignore such a person....on ignore.
> 
> Thankfully those sort of wacko members have gone so it's easier now.
> 
> I can see though why a lot of members just read and don't post. I go through that phase now and then.


There is one infamous member who regularly returns in new guises. He hates my guts because I always recognise his writing style and leave a reference to his first username on his threads, then he follows me round baiting till he loses the plot and calls me a [email protected] and gets banned.
Then I ask myself what I'm doing with my life and take a break.


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Blackcats said:


> Are there really people who put others on ignore because they don't want their opinion challenged?
> 
> Genuinely curious.


Yes there are. Apparently I'm on someone's ignore list :yesnod:

Although how they managed to create a thread and have a good old 8itch about what I posted on another thread of theirs is completely beyond me.:confused1:

Must be a great world to live in especially when there's no one left in it to challenge or contest your opinions. :laugh:


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Zaros said:


> Yes there are. Apparently I'm on someone's ignore list :yesnod:
> 
> Although how they managed to create a thread and have a good old 8itch about what I posted on another thread of theirs is completely beyond me.:confused1:
> 
> Must be a great world to live in especially when there's no one left in it to challenge or contest your opinions. :laugh:


No idea who you're on about. But they can't obviously have you on ignore if they're bitching about what you post.


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

Zaros said:


> Yes there are. Apparently I'm on someone's ignore list :yesnod:
> 
> Although how they managed to create a thread and have a good old 8itch about what I posted on another thread of theirs is completely beyond me.:confused1:
> 
> Must be a great world to live in especially when there's no one left in it to challenge or contest your opinions. :laugh:


I believe Henry VIII lived in such a World.

He just chopped off the head of anyone who disagreed with him.


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

Blackcats said:


> Are there really people who put others on ignore because they don't want their opinion challenged? Genuinely curious.


Im on at least two peoples ignore list, 
but, 
thats their prerogative with the present system
and 
the only reason I know is they joined threads I was posting in and took time to let me know

does it bother me? no because, tbh, if they have a problem with me or my opinions/comments/style of writing, then its exactly that, their problem

plus lets face it
its not like its real life, is it


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

Blackcats said:


> [BAre there really people who put others on ignore because they don't want their opinion challenged? Genuinely curious.


Oh yes - I can think of at least one person (can't give a name because she's banned at the moment) who has posted quite openly on the forum about putting people on ignore because she doesn't like the way they make her feel when they disagree with her opinions on a certain subject. She has quite openly urged others to do the same. And some others of the same opinions as her on that certain subject agreed with her.



Blackcats said:


> I love discussing opinions. I love discussions in general. Sometimes I post and other times I just read. All depends on the thread. I enjoy someone taking notice of my opinion and me taking notice of there's. You can learn a lot in discussions and become educated. It's nice to hear different opinions.
> 
> The best discussions are the ones where people can disagree but don't become personal to each other and take it to heart too much, etc. Those people you agree with at one point and don't the next but it's a healthy sort of thing.


Totally agree. I've had some of the best discussions on here with people whose opinions differed from mine, but where we have expressed those opinions without descending to name calling and snide comments. I really enjoy that and it's one of the main reasons I come on general chat. I also really like the fact that these people are the ones with whom I may have a totally opposite opinion on one matter, but be in total agreement with them on another.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

myshkin said:


> There is one infamous member who regularly returns in new guises. He hates my guts because I always recognise his writing style and leave a reference to his first username on his threads, then he follows me round baiting till he loses the plot and calls me a [email protected] and gets banned.
> Then I ask myself what I'm doing with my life and take a break.


Charming. I think that's really bang out of order to be honest.

No member is perfect but you do get those really wacko ones who slip through.

There's so many members who keep making new accounts that it's hard to keep up. Some members cotton on quicker than others though
.


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

lilythepink said:


> I really hate it when there is a discussion going and the holier than though, *the emperors new clothes brigade* all join together.....


Every now and again someone somewhere posts the most priceless phrase one could ever possibly have the learned good fortune to read.

Today Lily' you are that someone, somewhere. :yesnod:

Spectacular!

Bravo!


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## Jonescat (Feb 5, 2012)

It is quite hard to work out what is going on sometimes. 

It's funny though how sometimes I post on a controversial thread and am completely ignored because people are so busy arguing with each other! Kinda shows that the argument is what they enjoy. 

I haven't used red rep but wouldn't rule it out. It has come close with some posts but usually the person gets banned first. I do use and like the like button, and the green rep button sometimes. 

I also think that sometimes people call reactions bullying too soon. I don't think the cat threads are any worse than the dog threads, I have seen some shocking arguments in dogs! I try not to comment on some topics - ike dry food - unless it hasn't been said already and I do think that may be that is a discipline some people could use a bit more often. 

And finally - sometimes life gets in the way and by the time I get back to the thread it is locked or gone so far in an angry direction that I don't want to get involved any more.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Its one of the things I love about this forum, how most people can have lively discussions and disagreements in one thread then be agreeing with each other in another thread and not carry things over. I can't imagine why anyone would want everyone to agree with them all the time anyway. One of my best friends I used to dog walk with regularly had a totally different view to me on almost everything yet we got along great.


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## Tigerneko (Jan 2, 2009)

I like the rep system - maybe it would be helpful if people could choose to activate or deactivate it on their profiles, so that only users with the system activated can be repped. 

I think it is being used far less now that the 'like' and 'thank' system is in place, but in a way, it makes it all the more nice when someone takes the extra few seconds to give you a rep point 

I don't use the forum very much any more, so obviously I don't use the rep system. I used to use it a lot though & have given out both green and red. Red gets reserved, as others have said, for downright nasty people, or dangerous/very bad advice. I also like to give trolls a few red berries for their diet


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

myshkin said:


> How about a "just following because I've seen cryptic posts about rows I've missed and am trying to work out who's not talking to each other" button.
> It would take up half the screen...


Or how about a "I really don't give a flying feck to be honest, I'm just reading this thread because I am bored and I've done all the others" button. 



lilythepink said:


> I really hate it when there is a discussion going and the holier than though, *the emperors new clothes brigade* all join together and between them they don't have an idea but its trendy so they bully newbies...like they will join in so they don't become the next target.


Who are these naked people - I'm intrigued... 



lilythepink said:


> the emperors new clothes brigade is no one in particular....its just any sheep that follow some supposed guru round and agree and like and thank them for any post


Ahhhhh......... So no naked people then? Apart from Zaros. 

Personally, I don't see the point in joining a discussion just to agree with everyone else - that's not a discussion. And to do so because you're worried that others will judge you for being different.... That's just weird because very few of us here actually know each other in real life so why get so het up on what a bunch of strangers will think? 

I like to read other folks differing opinions - which is a good thing otherwise yon Spellweaver wifie & The Purple One and I would never speak.  I don't like, however, reading other opinons when they are stated in a rude or overbearing manner.

I also hate bullying but I think sometimes what is intended as good-natured bantering can either be misconstrued as bullying or descends into bullying because the joke goes too far. There are some folks, however, who do take things too seriously and need to lighten up.

Jumping on the backs of newbies is bang out of order and, more than once in the Cat section, it has been necessary to suggest some members get off their opinionated high horses and stop berating the OP and try helping instead. I suspect it is the same in Dog. There is no need for it but, it has to be said, it is not as bad as it used to be. More than once I have been accused of being 'pink & fluffy' which REALLY pisses me off because I hate bl00dy pink!!!!

.


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## stuaz (Sep 22, 2012)

I have been around on this forum for a while now and to be honest I have never repped someone and don't look at the reps people give me, mainly because it doesn't alert me.

I do give likes and thanks where needed though probably more sparingly than some. I think a dislike button would have its use but then I wonder if would be abused and cause more arguements?

I'm not part of any PF clique though so I don't know all the drama really so maybe that's why I use the like system as its meant to be rather than as a statement of such. 

I certainly don't take notice of the reps when responding to someone, I respond based on the post the user made, not if they have red marks or low post count.


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## myshkin (Mar 23, 2010)

stuaz said:


> I have been around on this forum for a while now and to be honest I have never repped someone and don't look at the reps people give me, mainly because it doesn't alert me.
> 
> I do give likes and thanks where needed though probably more sparingly than some. I think a dislike button would have its use but then I wonder if would be abused and cause more arguements?
> 
> ...


I do think often we respond differently to people we "know", which contributes to people feeling there are cliques. I'd quite like to do an experiment with myself, to see if I react to posts differently if I don't know who the poster is....but I think I'd recognise people without the names, so it wouldn't really work....now my brain is tangled up again, too much thinking for one day!


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

myshkin said:


> I do think often we respond differently to people we "know", which contributes to people feeling there are cliques. I'd quite like to do an experiment with myself, to see if I react to posts differently if I don't know who the poster is....but I think I'd recognise people without the names, so it wouldn't really work....now my brain is tangled up again, too much thinking for one day!


When I came back under a different name for a while. The same people gravitated towards me 

Was an interesting experiment :yesnod:


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Zaros said:


> Your original post names Cat Forums as the worst of the culprits.
> 
> And that's why I steer clear of the place.:yesnod:
> 
> I don't have a Cat.:nonod:


I have cats and a dog so participate on both cat and dog forums. I honestly could not say which is the worst for red repping, but i have frequently encountered the patronising attitude of dog owners, who dont own cats.

As for reps, I couldn't care less if they exist or not. If I have something to say, I dont need to hide by red repping and insulting someone in private. If I can't say something in public then I won't say it at all. I think it is cowardly to abuse someone in private. If people want to red rep, keep comments constructive, it should not be used as an excuse to get personal or hurt someone.


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## shadowmare (Jul 7, 2013)

I just never understood the point in the rep system here.. I'm a member of a few other forums and they don't have "like" or rep buttons and yet somehow they function just fine and seem to have much less drama! 
What is the rep meant to indicate anyway? How many people have given some mystical good reputation for someone's post? Funnily enough I've seen many times where people interrupt a thread with a "That was a great post! I have given you a rep". Then I look at the post and think "yeah, it was a good post in the sense of someone expressed their opinion", sometimes the post is pretty much the same as several posts before that (which i guess the rep giver decided did not deserve a green blob?) and sometimes the post is literally just someone's opinion about some other member  
I see rep here as likes on FB. Someone might have plenty of them but at the end of the day it means nothing in the real world, does it?


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## MCWillow (Aug 26, 2011)

What_ really_ p!sses me off - is when I am being accused or targeting certain members, and slating them.

I respond to _posts_. I hardly notice who the person is I am responding to - and I don't target people.

If people have a problem with what I am saying, thats fine - but don't bloody accuse me of some sort of member targeting campaign, claiming they are the next on the list!

Trust me - you don't feature that high up on my radar - I don't know how many times I have said it before, and am now saying it again - I respond to _what_ is being said, _not_ who is saying it.

Awaiting a few more red berries - but ya know what , they is _so_ pretty


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> I think he asked to be banned to cut down on his forum use which he finds difficult to limit otherwise.


Ah, I see. I remember he was saying that for months.

I wondered if T&T has come back under Canology? Just the posting on the pension thread seems T&T posting style but I don't want to ask in that thread when it's irrelevant.

The forum has a way of gripping you to stay.


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## myshkin (Mar 23, 2010)

rona said:


> When I came back under a different name for a while. The same people gravitated towards me
> 
> Was an interesting experiment :yesnod:


We like who we like. I'm a proper fence sitter, I guess, because I think we are influenced by people we like, but there again we like people for a reason....like everything, not black and white.



MCWillow said:


> What_ really_ p!sses me off - is when I am being accused or targeting certain members, and slating them.
> 
> I respond to _posts_. I hardly notice who the person is I am responding to - and I don't target people.
> 
> ...


Ridiculous that you would be accused of such nonsense, to be honest, you are one of the most principled people on here. One of the things that complicates things, I think, is that principled people gain respect, so it's easy for people to say they are part of a "popular" gang or "clique". You give your genuine opinion, it needs no justification!

For me, it's attitudes. I can completely disagree with anyone without falling out, but if people have a rude, over sensitive to their own feelings without considering others' feelings, shyte stirring, or belittling attitude on a consistent basis, I respond quite snappily. I don't react on the basis of one reply to me, but it looks that way to anyone who hasn't been in my head when I'm reading posts. And there are some huge wooden spoon wielders round here who I don't have on ignore, but choose to ignore.....the whole forum thing is quite interesting in terms of seeing how people behave when you don't know their reasons kind of thing.

Ug, always ramble when I'm doing the supposed to be asleep thing! :laugh:


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## myshkin (Mar 23, 2010)

Blackcats said:


> Ah, I see. I remember he was saying that for months.
> 
> I wondered if T&T has come back under Canology? Just the posting on the pension thread seems T&T posting style but I don't want to ask in that thread when it's irrelevant.
> 
> The forum has a way of gripping you to stay.


Edited: I was totally wrong, one and the same! Did a search and straight away saw it...I hang my head in shame and hand over the sockpuppet spotter cap to Blackcats!


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

myshkin said:


> There is one infamous member who regularly returns in new guises. He hates my guts because I always recognise his writing style and leave a reference to his first username on his threads, then he follows me round baiting till he loses the plot and calls me a [email protected] and gets banned.
> Then I ask myself what I'm doing with my life and take a break.




scary stuff.


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

Zaros said:


> Yes there are. Apparently I'm on someone's ignore list :yesnod:
> 
> Although how they managed to create a thread and have a good old 8itch about what I posted on another thread of theirs is completely beyond me.:confused1:
> 
> Must be a great world to live in especially when there's no one left in it to challenge or contest your opinions. :laugh:


I would find that so boring...I like to listen to anothers opinion, even if I don't agree with it.


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

Spellweaver said:


> Oh yes - I can think of at least one person (can't give a name because she's banned at the moment) who has posted quite openly on the forum about putting people on ignore because she doesn't like the way they make her feel when they disagree with her opinions on a certain subject. She has quite openly urged others to do the same. And some others of the same opinions as her on that certain subject agreed with her.
> 
> Totally agree. I've had some of the best discussions on here with people whose opinions differed from mine, but where we have expressed those opinions without descending to name calling and snide comments. I really enjoy that and it's one of the main reasons I come on general chat. I also really like the fact that these people are the ones with whom I may have a totally opposite opinion on one matter, but be in total agreement with them on another.


there are several members very quiet at the minute....maybe I am on their ignore list?
and so what????????????lmao


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

lilythepink said:


> I would find that so boring...I like to listen to anothers opinion, even if I don't agree with it.


Makes the forum a much nicer place 

Got 8 on mine


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

Blackcats said:


> Ah, I see. I remember he was saying that for months.
> 
> I wondered if T&T has come back under Canology? Just the posting on the pension thread seems T&T posting style but I don't want to ask in that thread when it's irrelevant.
> 
> The forum has a way of gripping you to stay.


If he had been banned because he asked, then it would say "Guest" under his username as it did the last time he asked this. 

Which is why he has sneaked back on as Canology.


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

*This has been an interesting thread. If nothing else it has shown me i'm not very forum savvy. Banned members, people in new clothes, ect ect. *


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

myshkin said:


> For me, it's attitudes. I can completely disagree with anyone without falling out, but if people have a rude, over sensitive to their own feelings without considering others' feelings, shyte stirring, or belittling attitude on a consistent basis, I respond quite snappily. I don't react on the basis of one reply to me, but it looks that way to anyone who hasn't been in my head when I'm reading posts.


I tend to be like this. if I receive a rude, name-calling, personal attack post from someone, I usually either ignore the nastiness and reply as normal, or make fun of the nastiness. If it continues, however, I find myself recting in kind and giving as good as I get. And you can bet your bottom dollar that the minute I do that, the original perpetrator of the nastiness will start to cry out that they don't know why I am being personal or why they are being "bullied".

(Thank goodness for the mods, I say; because the last person who tried that was bannned. I dread to think what this place would be like without the mods keeping a lid on things)


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Spellweaver said:


> If he had been banned because he asked, then it would say "Guest" under his username as it did the last time he asked this.
> 
> *Which is why he has sneaked back on as Canology*.


Are you sure? it did enter my head but I thought the politics were wrong :001_unsure:


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## Guest (Feb 25, 2015)

Spellweaver said:


> I tend to be like this. if I receive a rude, name-calling, personal attack post from someone, *I usually either ignore the nastiness and reply as normal, or make fun of the nastiness.* If it continues, however, I find myself recting in kind and giving as good as I get. And you can bet your bottom dollar that the minute I do that, the original perpetrator of the nastiness will start to cry out that they don't know why I am being personal or why they are being "bullied".
> 
> (Thank goodness for the mods, I say; because the last person who tried that was bannned. I dread to think what this place would be like without the mods keeping a lid on things)


Ha ha! Same here  I take it as a personal challenge to see how long I can ignore the nasty and respond to the other content. Though I do resort to making fun too. Well, not really making fun, but just laughing at the silliness of being so rude. Strangely it never seems to be well received when you try to turn nasty in to funny   
Actually, thats not true, goats are always well received, though a certain member with canine halitosis didnt really appreciate them. 

My current head-desk frustration is the posts that begin with say, Im having trouble riding my bicycle. So about 5 posters write long, detailed posts with tips and suggestions to try, and the OP comes back with how dare you say I cant ride a bicycle! Im not an idiot you know! I never said I was having trouble riding a bicycle! 
So you go back and read thinking you must have misread, but nope, there it is in black and white. :001_unsure: :001_huh: :blink:

Instead of a dislike option, I think I would use a do you read what you write? or do you ears hear what your mouth is saying? option.


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

I'm far to nosey to have an ignore list :tongue_smilie:

Hey, I gave someone a Rep this morning, figured it out lol  Please keep it!!

So does your rep go up when people like or thank your posts too then? Because I have only received 3 reps. It say 862 points....


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

Rona just answered my question, I now have 863  Thanks Rona!!


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> Are you sure? it did enter my head but I thought the politics were wrong :001_unsure:


Check out the syntax - the sentence and paragraph formation are almost identical. So is the formation of quasilogical arguments. And if that is not a great enough coincidence, how about the fact that one joined on the day the other was banned?


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

Spellweaver said:


> If he had been banned because he asked, then it would say "Guest" under his username as it did the last time he asked this.
> 
> Which is why he has sneaked back on as Canology.


Well, when I saw he was banned I went through his posts and could see nothing to warrant it which is why RPH reply seemed to fit why.

As I know he had mentioned he wanted to leave the forum.

Anyway, it doesn't matter either way. I was just genuinely curious as the posting seemed the same. And I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but most newbies don't sign up and go straight into general chat and only stay there. Most wouldn't know there was a general chat until they signed up.


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

Spellweaver said:


> Check out the syntax - the sentence and paragraph formation are almost identical. So is the formation of quasilogical arguments. And if that is not a great enough coincidence, how about the fact that one joined on the day the other was banned?


*Quite the detective! *


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## Guest (Feb 25, 2015)

Hahahahaha! I just happened upon a canology post. Yep, thats T&T  
Has anyone alerted the mods? Or should we just let him sit there pretending to be hidden?


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

ouesi said:


> Hahahahaha! I just happened upon a canology post. Yep, thats T&T
> Has anyone alerted the mods? Or should we just let him sit there pretending to be hidden?


*Oh much better to let them have their 5 mins of fun.*


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

JANICE199 said:


> *Quite the detective! *


Heh heh - I know - and I'm usually the very last one on the forum to find out what's going on. Bit I've been watching him and staying away from threads where he's been particularly active - probably wouldn't have said anything on this thread if Blackcats and Myshkin hadn't got there before me 

That's why I haven't posted anyhting on your pensions thread Jan - not 'because I haven't got anything to say about it, but because I didn't want to give him an opportunity to start off at me again.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

I had my suspicions about CANOLOGY, glad it wasn't just me. 2/10 to T&T.


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

It has to be said that these kinds of threads reveal SO much about PF members.

What they say and what they actually do...... Singing:

.


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## silvi (Jul 31, 2014)

I haven't been on this forum that long (but I do post a fair bit) and I admit I have never used the rep button as I thought it was okay just to thank and like .

As to the 'Emperor's new clothes' people....
There are a few posters on this forum who I will tend to agree with and you will find me liking their posts. Nothing wrong with that and, to be honest, sometimes it is easier and quicker just to 'like' something than to add a very similar comment. Doesn't mean I will agree with everything they say though and if I don't, and if I have the time, I will say so.

I'm also one of those people previously mentioned who will post a comment (sometimes a long one) and then not return to the thread for ages. Sometimes that's about time (I'm usually working while I'm on here), but at other times it's because I have said my bit and have nothing more to say on the subject...at least for the time being.

When I first started posting on forums a few years ago, I used to take part in all sorts of arguments and found that they were taking over my life and making me angry about things I could do nothing about. That's why now I have a more 'relaxed' attitude to it all I guess.

But I do take a covert interest in certain posters and their arguments. And I'm beginning to recognise when certain banned posters come back under another username...
I'm just nosy I guess!


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

MoggyBaby said:


> It has to be said that these kinds of threads reveal SO much about PF members.
> 
> What they say and what they actually do...... Singing:
> 
> .


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

Spellweaver said:


> Heh heh - I know - and I'm usually the very last one on the forum to find out what's going on. Bit I've been watching him and staying away from threads where he's been particularly active - probably wouldn't have said anything on this thread if Blackcats and Myshkin hadn't got there before me
> 
> That's why I haven't posted anyhting on your pensions thread Jan - not 'because I haven't got anything to say about it, but because I didn't want to give him an opportunity to start off at me again.


go on, I dare you.............lolololol


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## sarybeagle (Nov 4, 2009)

i am obviously blinkered lol as I have no idea who or what you mean when referring to banned members returning 

I once got very burnt by a forum friendship (on here) and after that I just keep to myself, ill say my piece on a thread if its of interest or experience or I can help but other than that I dont follow certain members or only like their posts etc.


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

sarybeagle said:


> i am obviously blinkered lol as I have no idea who or what you mean when referring to* banned members* returning.


I have a question re: the above :yesnod:

What follows is that question.

A couple of weeks ago I noticed a particular member, appearing as 'Guest' had submitted a thread which, in itself, was composed with evident ill feeling towards certain members.

Oh bu66er it....sod this going round the bloody houses lark.....Am I to understand Jon bda has been banned also?:001_unsure:

Oh and by the way, How does one appear on PF's as 'Guest'?

:blushing: Okay, so that's actually two questions. Math was never a strong point of mine anyway.:001_tt2:


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

I saw that thread.

I thought it's when you post as a member but instead of getting banned, your account becomes completely removed so after, all your posts still show but as a guest because the account no longer exists.

Not sure if the mods removed his account or he asked for it to be deleted though.

Or I could be wrong and his account still exists under banned and he made a guest account. But I thought they stopped allowing guest sign ins.


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## sarybeagle (Nov 4, 2009)

Is guest when you've been banned temporary for breaking forum rules for a time frame of say days or weeks but a banned title under your name means that's it,banned totally?

I remember members used to plead to be banned to stop them posting, I never understand that. Why can't you just not log in instead?? Why the physical restriction needing to be put in place?? Or do I not understand obsessive compulsion to go on forums lol!

The only names I remember from previously resulting in banned member returning under a different name was DT. But I'm talking about 2 or more years back since I was last on here. And the other names gone blank now! ut:


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

sarybeagle said:


> Is guest when you've been banned temporary for breaking forum rules for a time frame of say days or weeks but a banned title under your name means that's it,banned totally?
> 
> No, if you're banned it will always appear under your name. Nobody else will know for how long the person is banned unless they ask a mod. I think guest is when your account has been removed from the forum but posts still show as guest thereafter.
> 
> ...


DT is still around. I wasn't on the forum when she was double trouble.


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

sarybeagle said:


> Is guest when you've been banned temporary for breaking forum rules for a time frame of say days or weeks but a banned title under your name means that's it,banned totally?
> 
> *I remember members used to plead to be banned to stop them posting, *I never understand that.


I really wouldn't know chuck. That's why I asked the question:001_smile:

TAF I am:blushing:

And I remember members used to plead to have me banned to stop me posting.

I never understood that either:wink:


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## Nagini (Jan 13, 2014)

don't care either way whether the rep system goes or stays , it's not real life.


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## Guest (Feb 25, 2015)

My understanding (from another forum, but same format as this one) is that a ban can be temporary or permanent and will show as banned under that username. 

Temporary banned members can return after the ban period, and depending on the ban, they can still see the forum, just can't post.
Permanent bans I don't think they can even see the forum. (Unless they're good at faking IP addresses). 

When it shows as guest under the user name that means the account has been disabled for whatever reason. Sometimes banned members ask to have their accounts disabled, sometimes members ask to have their accounts disabled for totally different reasons.

That said, nothing on the internet is private. There is always a way to access what has been posted and who posted it


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## kaz_f (Mar 8, 2009)

I don't really use the rep system. I use the like thing sometimes that's all. I am the kind of person who can have a totally different opinion to someone and enjoy the discussion around it and respect their opinion without taking anything personally. Lately, in the pensions thread someone said something that made me evaluate my point of view and think it through again. So we live and we learn. And that's all good. I would never come onto a discussion thread with the attitude of 'this is my opinion and it's not moveable' cos that's not how intelligent thinkers work


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

I'm genuinely amazed that people run two accounts! I never did work that out until today - you are a master detective Spellweaver!

If I didn't want to post I'd just change my passwords and run my fingers over my keyboard so I had no idea what it was. Then at least I've have a moment to pause whilst I requested a new password to ask myself if I did.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> I'm genuinely amazed that people run two accounts! I never did work that out until today - you are a master detective Spellweaver!
> 
> If I didn't want to post I'd just change my passwords and run my fingers over my keyboard so I had no idea what it was. Then at least I've have a moment to pause whilst I requested a new password to ask myself if I did.


You've obviously never been targeted behind the scenes


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

rona said:


> You've obviously never been targeted behind the scenes


Only once and it wasn't very nice.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> Only once and it wasn't very nice.


I was targeted by a mod on another forum because I didn't agree with what they were saying. They threatened to give out all my private details, so I disappeared for a while.

I also had someone being very nasty when my mother died 

I don't worry about the silly squabbles, but those instances weren't good


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

rona said:


> I was targeted by a mod on another forum because I didn't agree with what they were saying. They threatened to give out all my private details, so I disappeared for a while.
> 
> I also had someone being very nasty when my mother died
> 
> I don't worry about the silly squabbles, but those instances weren't good


Oh rona, that's awful. Just dreadful and I am so sorry to hear that. Not good is an understatement.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> Oh rona, that's awful. Just dreadful and I am so sorry to hear that. Not good is an understatement.


Sometimes there's just good reason to either change name or hide for a while. 
Know a couple of people who have had to hide from stalkers and others from violence.

It's not just sneaky or silly reasons that people do things like that


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

rona said:


> I was targeted by a mod on another forum because I didn't agree with what they were saying. They threatened to give out all my private details, so I disappeared for a while.
> 
> I also had someone being very nasty when my mother died
> 
> I don't worry about the silly squabbles, but those instances weren't good


I think that's terrible that someone would be like that at a time of grieving for you.

There's some arseholes who go way below the belt.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

rona said:


> Sometimes there's just good reason to either change name or hide for a while.
> Know a couple of people who have had to hide from stalkers and others from violence.
> 
> It's not just sneaky or silly reasons that people do things like that


Yes true, I can understand having to hide away, I had to be careful after my ex and his family are still around so I'm careful on Facebook.

But to threaten you is unfair and wrong. Luckily the only person that has been very rude to me is here as a guest and the behind the scenes person doesn't appear to be here now.


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

rona said:


> Sometimes there's just good reason to either change name or hide for a while.
> Know a couple of people who have had to hide from stalkers and others from violence.
> 
> It's not just sneaky or silly reasons that people do things like that


I did. I had an account on here before this one and I asked the mods to delete. I left for a few months and came back under a new name to stop certain people from knowing. They caught on though but I also can see why some people come on here and change their names to hide away from some people.

To do that in real life though is very very serious.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> Yes true, I can understand having to hide away, I had to be careful after my ex and his family are still around so I'm careful on Facebook.
> 
> But to threaten you is unfair and wrong. Luckily the only person that has been very rude to me is here as a guest and the behind the scenes person doesn't appear to be here now.


The stupid thing was, I hadn't said anything bad. Just disagreed with them.

Reported them to the site owner, but of course got nowhere


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

I had a horrible time when I was expecting in a fertility group. The scan appointment was conducted by a new nurse who said no sac. All the women in the group wanted to know the result and were bugging me on my phone assuming that it would be good news. I posted the this news. At a second scan during the same appointment a more experienced nurse said no heartbeat. I didn't even think to say the next bit until a week or two later as I was in bits. Then when I updated, I was accused of lies that it would upset those at scans ut: - a loss is a loss no matter how it happens. Banned by the mods - all sorts of horrible pm's. My OH had complained to the clinic and we got an apology and I scanned in a small bit and posted it to the group as proof under another name and then left. 

Horrible. People can be wicked.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> I had a horrible time when I was expecting in a fertility group. The scan appointment was conducted by a new nurse who said no sac. All the women in the group wanted to know the result and were bugging me on my phone assuming that it would be good news. I posted the this news. At a second scan during the same appointment a more experienced nurse said no heartbeat. I didn't even think to say the next bit until a week or two later as I was in bits. Then when I updated, I was accused of lies that it would upset those at scans ut: - a loss is a loss no matter how it happens. Banned by the mods - all sorts of horrible pm's. My OH had complained to the clinic and we got an apology and I scanned in a small bit and posted it to the group as proof under another name and then left.
> 
> Horrible. People can be wicked.


Just horrid


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## Blackcats (Apr 13, 2013)

MollySmith said:


> I had a horrible time when I was expecting in a fertility group. The scan appointment was conducted by a new nurse who said no sac. All the women in the group wanted to know the result and were bugging me on my phone assuming that it would be good news. I posted the this news. At a second scan during the same appointment a more experienced nurse said no heartbeat. I didn't even think to say the next bit until a week or two later as I was in bits. Then when I updated, I was accused of lies that it would upset those at scans ut: - a loss is a loss no matter how it happens. Banned by the mods - all sorts of horrible pm's. My OH had complained to the clinic and we got an apology and I scanned in a small bit and posted it to the group as proof under another name and then left.
> 
> Horrible. People can be wicked.


That's an absolute disgrace. Why are people always accused of lying? There are some damn right ugly people around and I don't believe in the noncence that words on a screen can't hurt you.

I hope the admin on that site banned all those people being heartless and spiteful to you. It's even sadder you had to do that to prove to them that you weren't lying. 

I was told once that baby and parenting forums can be one of the worst places for nasty people.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Ah well, I hope these people don't sleep at night. We can only hope. I don't think I would if I'd be so awful to someone myself and I think we've no danger of sinking to their low life level.

I had to send a blunt email on Monday at work and it bugged me until I spoke to the person today


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Blackcats said:


> That's an absolute disgrace. Why are people always accused of lying? There are some damn right ugly people around and I don't believe in the noncence that words on a screen can't hurt you.
> 
> I hope the admin on that site banned all those people being heartless and spiteful to you. It's even sadder you had to do that to prove to them that you weren't lying.
> 
> I was told once that baby and parenting forums can be one of the worst places for nasty people.


Nope, sadly not. I was banned. The ban was lifted when I posted proof but I sent an email telling them to shove up their foofoos. It was a class email as a recall, I wish I'd kept it 

Yes I think you're right, in my experience they aren't very nice and ultimately with ones that are about fertility, there will be several left having not won the baby prize whilst everyone forgets the boundaries and posts up scan photos and birth pictures. Having been one who never got the prize, it's very isolating and I'm truly glad to not be part of that and in some ways it's made me a better person. Gateway Women for those who have moved on somewhat is a lovely space I must say and it's given me a lot of strength.


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## myshkin (Mar 23, 2010)

MollySmith said:


> I had a horrible time when I was expecting in a fertility group. The scan appointment was conducted by a new nurse who said no sac. All the women in the group wanted to know the result and were bugging me on my phone assuming that it would be good news. I posted the this news. At a second scan during the same appointment a more experienced nurse said no heartbeat. I didn't even think to say the next bit until a week or two later as I was in bits. Then when I updated, I was accused of lies that it would upset those at scans ut: - a loss is a loss no matter how it happens. Banned by the mods - all sorts of horrible pm's. My OH had complained to the clinic and we got an apology and I scanned in a small bit and posted it to the group as proof under another name and then left.
> 
> Horrible. People can be wicked.


Awful 😞 I think people can be competitive about pain, whatever form it takes. The most amazing people I know are sympathetic to others because their trauma makes them more able to feel what others go through. 
I thank my lucky stars I will never experience the kind of grief you have felt, don't really understand the mentality you have described. People can be pretty poo sometimes xx


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## Guest (Feb 26, 2015)

Molly, Im so sorry 

I never know what to say at things like that, its just horrible, but I feel like there is nothing adequate to say other than ((hugs))

myshkin makes a good point, people are competitive about pain and hardship, but there is no need to be cruel


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

MollySmith said:


> I had a horrible time when I was expecting in a fertility group. The scan appointment was conducted by a new nurse who said no sac. All the women in the group wanted to know the result and were bugging me on my phone assuming that it would be good news. I posted the this news. At a second scan during the same appointment a more experienced nurse said no heartbeat. I didn't even think to say the next bit until a week or two later as I was in bits. Then when I updated, I was accused of lies that it would upset those at scans ut: - a loss is a loss no matter how it happens. Banned by the mods - all sorts of horrible pm's. My OH had complained to the clinic and we got an apology and I scanned in a small bit and posted it to the group as proof under another name and then left.
> 
> Horrible. People can be wicked.


Oh Molly - that is dreadful!

Your own personal pain must have been devastating, and then people who should know better compounded it with sheer spite.

No-one should have to experience something like this. How cruel some people can be.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

rona said:


> I was targeted by a mod on another forum because I didn't agree with what they were saying.* They threatened to give out all my private details,* so I disappeared for a while.
> 
> I also had someone being very nasty when my mother died
> 
> I don't worry about the silly squabbles, but those instances weren't good


That is totally shameful!

Confidentiality is paramount - there is so little privacy online as it is.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Nagini said:


> don't care either way whether the rep system goes or stays ,* it's not real life.*


(_*GASP*_) 

Wash your mouth out with SOAP!


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## sarybeagle (Nov 4, 2009)

Blackcats said:


> I was told once that baby and parenting forums can be one of the worst places for nasty people.


They certainly are. I was a member of a parenting forum (babyworld) from 2004-2011 whilst on my trying for a baby journey. It was a minefield and often changed rules daily to fit in with which ever member was in favour at the time! 
You weren't allowed to be uspet if you couldn't conceive and already had one child (I'm not insinuating its on par with never conceiving, that's the worst pain in the fertility world.) 
But you weren't allowed to share your upset if your own fertility treatments failed, as mine did.however once those around me went on to conceive and have their own child, when they then came back to TTC again it was then allowed to be ok to post your upset on not falling pregnant with a child. But again only amongst those who'd previously had trouble. It was an awful atmosphere and j think the huge emotional subject only fueled it.

I once set up a TTC forum with fellow members, I gave a friend an admjn account. She then went to town and deleted messages, changed log ins and generally caused a lot of upset and then told everyone it was me. I got banned from my own page. Everyone turned on me, I showed proof of what my activities history showed but they believed her. She blamed me on causing her stress and failing her treatment. I left forums after that.

18 months later I got a fb request from a few girls, they'd found out she was trolling the main babyworld forum and her story on losing her baby around 20 weeks was fake and her husband had phoned someone to tell them he and her had destroyed my forum as fun. It took a lot to let those girls back in my life.

I was then made a mug on here and I don't let anyone in now. I won't be made to lie to cover peoples lies and have someone constantly dropping all their baggage at my door without a thought to what I have going on in my own life. But since coming back on here I see ones left and not posted, the others are banned.

Having said that, on the babyworld forum I made friendships with 12 girls who I still text and chat with daily, we've been thru so much as a friend group from deaths in family, stillbirths, marriages, births. Losing one of our girls to cervical cancer brought us all closer and they are my best friends in the world. Ive known them 12 years now. I'd be lost without them. So not all internet interactions are bad


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

javi said:


> So being a newbie myself, i haven't a clue what reps are
> Green rep, red rep? i'm curious...i take it red reps aren't good...how do i find out if i have them?


You start life with one green blob; you have two which means you must have received at least one reputation point (rep) and it is customary to send a thank you message. If you go to edit profile at the top left of the page, scroll down and you will see your latest reputation points, which post it was for and who left it.

I think I only got one red one along with several other people for having the nerve to point out the truth about Cesar Millan. Oh, I tell a lie; there was another one for the same reason - telling lies about Cesar and his followers!


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

*sarybeagle*, what you've said rings true to me - I recall someone on fertility friends doing the same, infiltrating the group with false stories and it's so hard to take. I am sorry you've had to go through that too. ((hugs))

It's a very strange position to be in, when TTC and then others are successful and women who remains friends despite vastly different outcomes have a very strong friendship. My closest friend is my god daughter's mum and my best friend from my IVF days went onto have her son through donor treatment. It's a very rewarding friendship but one made through difficult times.

And it is lovely to hear such kind words here, thank you - it is so very much appreciated.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

MollySmith said:


> *sarybeagle*, what you've said rings true to me - I recall someone on fertility friends doing the same, infiltrating the group with false stories and it's so hard to take. I am sorry you've had to go through that too. ((hugs))
> 
> It's a very strange position to be in, when TTC and then others are successful and women who remains friends despite vastly different outcomes have a very strong friendship. My closest friend is my god daughter's mum and my best friend from my IVF days went onto have her son through donor treatment. It's a very rewarding friendship but one made through difficult times.
> 
> And it is lovely to hear such kind words here, thank you - it is so very much appreciated.


There is someone on an author's forum I go on who has libelled people on her blog, even posting that one is a meths addict and a lesbian and all sorts. Unfortunately one gets a lot of loonies on these forums and not much to be done about it. We have had people pretending to own a dog, even making up stories about them and posting photos, when they don't have a dog at all. We have had people having dogs put down and putting them in shelters, while saying they died of all sorts or got run over. We even had someone post that her parents had been killed just to get attention. It is bizarre how these people come out of the woodwork, but what can you do? I don't let them bother me, I find them amusing but some people are very sensitive. But what sort of mod would threaten to give out your private details, for any reason? I have used someone's email address in an emergency situation, but give out details? Some are just power crazed.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

We used to have a member who, when disagreed with, posted in legal terminology demanding private details so that he could sue. Anyone who liked the post he objected to was getting sued as well. He was hilarious. There is another so-called dog trainer who pops up every time his name is mentioned anywhere threatening to sue; pathetic.


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

Molly and Sarybeagle - I've just read your posts and I'm sitting here with tears dropping down onto the keyboard. How can people be so nasty?

I've never been able to have children. After 10 years of trying, fertility treatments and praying, I finally managed to get pregnant, only to lose the baby at 20 weeks. The emotional pain is unbearable, and to have that compounded as you two have is beyond belief. 

This was happening to me in the late seventies/early eighties, when there was no such thing as the internet. I felt so alone with my pain - no-one to talk to other than family and friends who thought they were being helpful and encouraging when they told me to "pull myself together" and "oh, now you've done it once; you'll get pregnant again!" Quite a few times lately I have thought how much better it must be these days with forums and people to talk to who can understand what you're going through - crikey, how wrong was I?

Despite your head telling you not to take any notice of these kinds of things, they stay with you and have the propensity to hurt long after the event. When I miscarried I was put in a four bedded ward with three young girls who had all got pregnant accidentally and were there for abortions. We were all recovering from the op and a nurse came in with condoms for the other three and a pep talk on how to avoid getting pregnant. After she had gone the other three made a huge joke of it, throwing the condoms to each other and saying, "I don't want 'em, here, you have 'em." And all the time I was laying there in pieces with my most cherished dream shattered. That was in the early 1980s and it still hurts as much today.

My heart goes out to you both.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Spellweaver said:


> Molly and Sarybeagle - I've just read your posts and I'm sitting here with tears dropping down onto the keyboard. How can people be so nasty?
> 
> I've never been able to have children. After 10 years of trying, fertility treatments and praying, I finally managed to get pregnant, only to lose the baby at 20 weeks. The emotional pain is unbearable, and to have that compounded as you two have is beyond belief.
> 
> ...


I am so so so sorry. You have mentioned briefly about not having children and I had no idea you had been through so much. I do often think that the NHS can be the worse places - prior to having an agreement with Bourn Hall, all fertility treatment took places in the maternity hospital here in Cambridge and it was awful to walk through there.

It's a strange thing the internet for that - I think if I had been alone without it that would have been so isolating. Conversely since being online more, I've been much more aware of mothers day and general baby celebrations more than I probably would be if I wasn't. Maybe - I don't know. It's something we've talked about at the Gateway Women meet ups a lot, as without the net, we'd never know each other either. Have you heard of them, it might be worth seeking them out. The other group is on Google and it's called Ghost Orchid Women but it's not moderated as well but it's free. GW have an annual fee but they do lots of meet ups and things.

Thinking of you xx


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Spellweaver said:


> Molly and Sarybeagle - I've just read your posts and I'm sitting here with tears dropping down onto the keyboard. How can people be so nasty?
> 
> I've never been able to have children. After 10 years of trying, fertility treatments and praying, I finally managed to get pregnant, only to lose the baby at 20 weeks. The emotional pain is unbearable, and to have that compounded as you two have is beyond belief.
> 
> ...


When I went in to be sterilised after three children, they had women in the same ward who had had miscarriages and I remember one girl who was on her fifth abortion. She was not popular. I think it is disgraceful to put these people in the same ward as people like yourself. When I had my eldest it was in a lovely little nursing home, converted house, and one girl had a stillbirth. They kept her in the delivery room until they had cleared out an unused room on the ground floor and made it habitable, so she did not have to share a space with new mothers and their babies. That was the way it should have been. SW I am sorry for your pain; I can't say I know what it is like, because I don't, but I know how insensitive people can be. I had one woman tell me if she had a child like my son, born with brain damage, she would have left him in the hospital.  She very nearly got my fist in her face.


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## Guest (Feb 26, 2015)

Spellweaver and Scarybeagle, yet again Im left with no words...
Hugs to both of you....


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

newfiesmum said:


> When I went in to be sterilised after three children, they had women in the same ward who had had miscarriages and I remember one girl who was on her fifth abortion. She was not popular. I think it is disgraceful to put these people in the same ward as people like yourself. When I had my eldest it was in a lovely little nursing home, converted house, and one girl had a stillbirth. They kept her in the delivery room until they had cleared out an unused room on the ground floor and made it habitable, so she did not have to share a space with new mothers and their babies. That was the way it should have been. SW I am sorry for your pain; I can't say I know what it is like, because I don't, but I know how insensitive people can be. *I had one woman tell me if she had a child like my son, born with brain damage, she would have left him in the hospital. * She very nearly got my fist in her face.


OMG - that's deadful! It never ceases to amaze me how unthinkingly cruel people can be.

When my sister was pregnant with my youngest niece, she had an amniocentesis test and they told her there was a high chance of the baby being born with Downs Syndrome. My mother's comment was, "Well, of course you will get rid of it - there are enough cabbages in this world."  I can't remember being as shocked at anything else she has said, either before or after.

My sister's reply was that she would love this baby no matter what, and that there was no way she was going to abort. My OH and I supported her in this, and told her we would help any way we could. But it caused a severe rift in the family, with me and my sister on one side and my mother on the other.

It wasn't until my niece was born and was not Downs Syndrome that my mother apologised. I often wondered if she would ever have apologised if my niece had been born with Downs Syndrome.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

MollySmith said:


> *sarybeagle*, what you've said rings true to me *- I recall someone on fertility friends doing the same, infiltrating the group with false stories* and it's so hard to take. I am sorry you've had to go through that too. ((hugs))
> 
> It's a very strange position to be in, when TTC and then others are successful and women who remains friends despite vastly different outcomes have a very strong friendship. My closest friend is my god daughter's mum and my best friend from my IVF days went onto have her son through donor treatment. It's a very rewarding friendship but one made through difficult times.
> 
> And it is lovely to hear such kind words here, thank you - it is so very much appreciated.


What a sick and twisted thing to do!

What is it with these people?


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Spellweaver said:


> Molly and Sarybeagle - I've just read your posts and I'm sitting here with tears dropping down onto the keyboard. How can people be so nasty?
> 
> I've never been able to have children. After 10 years of trying, fertility treatments and praying, I finally managed to get pregnant, only to lose the baby at 20 weeks. The emotional pain is unbearable, and to have that compounded as you two have is beyond belief.
> 
> ...


This used to be very common at one time. Now the NHS usually has more compassion.

What a dreadful, painful experience for you.

My heart goes out to you, too.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Reading some of the terribly sad stories a lot of you have experienced makes me even more aware how blessed I was to be able to conceive and bear healthy children.

I had problems with doth deliveries and almost died the second time (repeated haemorrhages and massive blood loss over a period of months - in and out of hospital - ambulance knew the way to our house on its own), but my children's lives were always safe, and I had wonderful care, kindness and support from the hospital staff from consultants down to domestics. I've been very, very fortunate.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

ouesi said:


> Spellweaver and Scarybeagle, yet again *Im left with no words...*
> Hugs to both of you....


Who are you?

What have you done with Oozey?


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

silvi said:


> I haven't been on this forum that long (but I do post a fair bit) and I admit I have never used the rep button as I thought it was okay just to thank and like .
> 
> As to the 'Emperor's new clothes' people....
> There are a few posters on this forum who I will tend to agree with and you will find me liking their posts. Nothing wrong with that and, to be honest, sometimes it is easier and quicker just to 'like' something than to add a very similar comment. Doesn't mean I will agree with everything they say though and if I don't, and if I have the time, I will say so.
> ...


I totally agree and also have nothing to add, so I liked your post


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## silvi (Jul 31, 2014)

Reading of some of the experiences of forum posting described on this thread, I'm gobsmacked!
I know that this happens of course, but to read about the stalking and horrible posts some of you have received leaves me almost lost for words.

And here was I worried about getting into a nasty argument .

There truly are some really sick people out there .


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

silvi said:


> Reading of some of the experiences of forum posting described on this thread, I'm gobsmacked!
> I know that this happens of course, but to read about the stalking and horrible posts some of you have received leaves me almost lost for words.
> 
> And here was I worried about getting into a nasty argument .
> ...


cos they can get away with us cos there are no consequences. Even suing someone for defamation or libel etc...is beyond your average person in the streets means anyway


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## sarybeagle (Nov 4, 2009)

We've had all sorts of trolls on the bw forum, at one point you never believed what some one wrote or posted and we all ended up posting pics with our user name on a piece of paper and dated with a newspaper or some other way. 
All because one girl who had kept up a fake profile for almost 3 years, in that time she had lost a baby at both 23 weeks and became pregnant again (in extreme circumstances if memory recalls right) she then had baby early and baby died.
But people were on to her and found images she had copied from other forums and the baby in the pic was some poor ladies little girl. She was claiming it was her son. Think along the lines of catfish. 
People had donated ALOT of money for her baby.

There was no baby  this girl never had kids. It messed up a lot of people especially those who had lost children.

I left the infertility board never 'graduating' as we all called it. It truley opened my eyes to the internet and how crazy some people are. 

SW my heart goes out to you it really does. 

During my fertility treatment and investigations the infertility clinic was run alongside the antenatal clinic!! I understand the drs work in both areas but sitting in a room crying with bumps all around u and watching them coming out the scans cooing over a scan pic and when it was your turn you came out empty handed. It just made a sad and emotional time much harder. When I discharged myself from the clinic I wrote that in my feedback form. It was just cruel. 

Gosh sorry gone right off on a tangent from rep didn't I! X


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

newfiesmum said:


> You start life with one green blob; you have two which means you must have received at least one reputation point (rep) and it is customary to send a thank you message. If you go to edit profile at the top left of the page, scroll down and you will see your latest reputation points, which post it was for and who left it.
> 
> I think I only got one red one along with several other people for having the nerve to point out the truth about Cesar Millan. Oh, I tell a lie; there was another one for the same reason - telling lies about Cesar and his followers!


My rep list is quite colorful at the moment. Red and green, it's like Christmas LOL!


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Spellweaver said:


> OMG - that's deadful! It never ceases to amaze me how unthinkingly cruel people can be.
> 
> When my sister was pregnant with my youngest niece, she had an amniocentesis test and they told her there was a high chance of the baby being born with Downs Syndrome. My mother's comment was, "Well, of course you will get rid of it - there are enough cabbages in this world."  I can't remember being as shocked at anything else she has said, either before or after.
> 
> ...


Probably not. The trouble with people like your mother is they have no idea what they are missing. Downs people are lovely and can be taught so much these days; it is a great achievement to have a special child and see them grow up to live alone with support, like my son. I know someone whose sister's child had german measles (rubella) while my friend was pregnant. She didn't catch the disease, but still her mother in law told her to drink a bottle of gin and take a hot bath (there was no abortion then). She felt the same as your sister.

I have had people say things like: will he ever get better? or Is there no cure? I always tell them if he woke up tomorrow perfectly normal he wouldn't be Ian, would he? These are all reasons to prefer dogs.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Agree I am totally shocked at some of the experiences people have had with other forum members, I've obviously been very lucky as apart from one or two people (on another forum) who decided to make a disagreement personal I've not had any problems. I've actually met some lovely people and made some good friends through forums. When we had our motorhome we regularly used to meet up with people we knew through forums if we were in their area and I'm still in contact by email with lots of them now even if most of them have drifted away from forums to facebook which I still refuse to join. I've been amazed at the kindness of strangers, how despite having disagreements from time to time when someone is in trouble/need everyone rallies round and trys to help.


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## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

I couldn't care any less about the rep system if I'm honest..I actually thank people for any red berries that I receive because most of the time they are just petty and thanking someone for them really gets up peoples noses :dita:
I have only given one red berry in the whole time here and that was for blatant dangerous advise.


One thing I have learnt over my years of forum life is to not step out and try to help...That just gets you a big fat kick in the teeth!!!
I am very careful about which threads I partake in these days and when I do I leave any emotion at the door.

Which is a shame because I helped many fluffs on this forum over my time, but now it all happens off the forum or not at all :sosp: All because of one delightful child and her groupies...


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

StormyThai said:


> I couldn't care any less about the rep system if I'm honest..I actually thank people for any red berries that I receive because most of the time they are just petty and thanking someone for them really gets up peoples noses :dita:
> I have only given one red berry in the whole time here and that was for blatant dangerous advise.
> 
> One thing I have learnt over my years of forum life is to not step out and try to help...That just gets you a big fat kick in the teeth!!!
> ...


Really, Bernie, it would be a shame to avoid helping because of one person, but I know how you feel. Someone else went to a lot of trouble to foster a dog for someone who was supposed to be in an abusive relationship, but no such thing.


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## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> Really, Bernie, it would be a shame to avoid helping because of one person, but I know how you feel. Someone else went to a lot of trouble to foster a dog for someone who was supposed to be in an abusive relationship, but no such thing.


Oh I still help..the main difference is that the forum doesn't get to hear about it any more 
I'm not opening myself up for that level of abuse again..anyone would think it was me that neglected those animals....


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Sadly I have found that extreme insensitively applies in real life and I never know if that&#8217;s worse? On a forum it can be extremely frustrating as you can imagine the instigator gloating and not realising that you&#8217;re in tears. At least in real life you can fight back but if it&#8217;s work or family you can&#8217;t escape. My parents and I didn&#8217;t talk for two years after I met my OH and they said that we&#8217;d have deformed children because of our age gap. That after a still born baby and with no actual scientific proof. I have many many horror stories and I&#8217;ve had to end so many friendships because of repeated judgements. Fortunately(ish) I used most of it in my latest postgrads assignment, the walk in our shoes link below, and got a distinction for it. I suppose that&#8217;s something positive.

I know the mods here have kindly removed a thread I started on childlessness because one person replied and was so rude, he said &#8216;would I employ someone to push prams away from me&#8217;. I didn&#8217;t have the strength to argue with someone of such little intelligence but I&#8217;m the one left remembering it. If that person was still allowed to post here, I doubt they'd remember. Sometimes it&#8217;s best to delete though I hate to give mods more work. 

People are crap but sometimes you find such kindness on threads like this it makes you think again - hence why rep matters sometimes.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

StormyThai said:


> Oh I still help..the main difference is that the forum doesn't get to hear about it any more
> I'm not opening myself up for that level of abuse again..anyone would think it was me that neglected those animals....


Anyone who matters (like me:ihih knows the truth. You did your best and that's all anybody can do.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

StormyThai said:


> Oh I still help..the main difference is that the forum doesn't get to hear about it any more
> I'm not opening myself up for that level of abuse again..anyone would think it was me that neglected those animals....


I know a similar thing happened to a member recently who really tried to help then got blamed for doing something she hadn't actually done. Although I understand sometimes its kinder to remove threads or posts in this case it left someone taking the blame for something they hadn't done. Its such a shame if that kind of thing puts people off helping animals in need.


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## Guest (Feb 26, 2015)

MollySmith said:


> Sadly I have found that extreme insensitively applies in real life and I never know if thats worse? On a forum it can be extremely frustrating as you can imagine the instigator gloating and not realising that youre in tears. At least in real life you can fight back but if its work or family you cant escape. My parents and I didnt talk for two years after I met my OH and they said that wed have deformed children because of our age gap. That after a still born baby and with no actual scientific proof. I have many many horror stories and Ive had to end so many friendships because of repeated judgements. Fortunately(ish) I used most of it in my latest postgrads assignment, the walk in our shoes link below, and got a distinction for it. I suppose thats something positive.
> 
> I know the mods here have kindly removed a thread I started on childlessness because one person replied and was so rude, he said would I employ someone to push prams away from me. I didnt have the strength to argue with someone of such little intelligence but Im the one left remembering it. If that person was still allowed to post here, I doubt they'd remember. Sometimes its best to delete though I hate to give mods more work.
> 
> People are crap but sometimes you find such kindness on threads like this it makes you think again - hence why rep matters sometimes.


Yep, for every crap poster, there are plenty of other kind ones, and that matters more in the end 

I had a mod delete all my posts on a difficult/personal thread where one poster in particular decided to target me, both on the thread and behind the scenes. Not gonna lie, it sucked. But it also alerted me to the wonderful and kind members who are on this forum.

Like so much in life, you gotta take the good with the bad. And the bad helps you appreciate the good.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

ouesi said:


> Yep, for every crap poster, there are plenty of other kind ones, and that matters more in the end
> 
> I had a mod delete all my posts on a difficult/personal thread where one poster in particular decided to target me, both on the thread and behind the scenes. Not gonna lie, it sucked. But it also alerted me to the wonderful and kind members who are on this forum.
> 
> Like so much in life, you gotta take the good with the bad. And the bad helps you appreciate the good.


I mostly look to my dogs for the good:001_unsure:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

MollySmith said:


> Sadly I have found that extreme insensitively applies in real life and I never know if thats worse? On a forum it can be extremely frustrating as you can imagine the instigator gloating and not realising that youre in tears. At least in real life you can fight back but if its work or family you cant escape. My parents and I didnt talk for two years after I met my OH and they said that wed have deformed children because of our age gap. That after a still born baby and with no actual scientific proof. I have many many horror stories and Ive had to end so many friendships because of repeated judgements. Fortunately(ish) *I used most of it in my latest postgrads assignment, the walk in our shoes link below,* and got a distinction for it. I suppose thats something positive.
> 
> I know the mods here have kindly removed a thread I started on childlessness because one person replied and was so rude, he said would I employ someone to push prams away from me. I didnt have the strength to argue with someone of such little intelligence but Im the one left remembering it. If that person was still allowed to post here, I doubt they'd remember. Sometimes its best to delete though I hate to give mods more work.
> 
> People are crap but sometimes you find such kindness on threads like this it makes you think again - hence why rep matters sometimes.


Very moving accounts - and a very special link. Thank you.

And I know who made the spiteful "prams" comment. That person isn't worth the steam off your p1ss, trust me. You are not the only person they have been cruel to - the fault is in them and them only.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

sarybeagle said:


> We've had all sorts of trolls on the bw forum, at one point you never believed what some one wrote or posted and we all ended up posting pics with our user name on a piece of paper and dated with a newspaper or some other way.
> *All because one girl who had kept up a fake profile for almost 3 years, in that time she had lost a baby at both 23 weeks and became pregnant again (in extreme circumstances if memory recalls right) she then had baby early and baby died.
> But people were on to her and found images she had copied from other forums and the baby in the pic was some poor ladies little girl. She was claiming it was her son. Think along the lines of catfish. *
> People had donated ALOT of money for her baby.
> ...


What a piece of sh1t she is. People like this have more than a screw loose - they are deranged, To hurt people, to scam them emotionally and financially - you have to be very mentally sick indeed, even if you seem tone a fully-funstioning member of society.

And to use the picture of someone else's child! (Which I assume that poor mother last) - It defies description.


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Nagini said:


> don't care either way whether the rep system goes or stays , it's not real life.


You mean I'm a figment??


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

lostbear said:


> What a piece of sh1t she is. People like this have more than a screw loose - they are deranged, To hurt people, to scam them emotionally and financially - you have to be very mentally sick indeed, even if you seem tone a fully-funstioning member of society.
> 
> And to use the picture of someone else's child! (Which I assume that poor mother last) - It defies description.


What about the bloke who got to VIP status, had thousands of posts, was an inspector for the council overseeing puppy breeders, had a wife called Katie who couldn't go far from home because she was waiting for a kidney transplant? Anyone remember him? Turned out to be a female who had done this on other forums.


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## sarybeagle (Nov 4, 2009)

newfiesmum said:


> What about the bloke who got to VIP status, had thousands of posts, was an inspector for the council overseeing puppy breeders, had a wife called Katie who couldn't go far from home because she was waiting for a kidney transplant? Anyone remember him? Turned out to be a female who had done this on other forums.


No? Wow its incredible the lengths people will go to!

Lostbear. Yes it was heartbreaking for the lady who had lost the little girl. It was only because someone recognised the photo from another forum. This girl tried to back peddle saying the hospital had given her he wrong info or scan pic (I forget which as it was 8+ years ago) 
We had a few funny trolls. Ones whod try and post the most outrageous things or enflame the mods.

The best outing of a troll yet was when she was mid argument on a thread and she posted her actual members name instead of the fake one. She had logged back in as her real account but posted as the troll acc she was claiming to be arguing with. It was hilarious. No such thing as being able to edit your post then so wow did it kick off with quotes and screen grabs


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

newfiesmum said:


> What about the bloke who got to VIP status, had thousands of posts, was an inspector for the council overseeing puppy breeders, had a wife called Katie who couldn't go far from home because she was waiting for a kidney transplant? Anyone remember him? Turned out to be a female who had done this on other forums.


*Was he here long? I don't remember him.*


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

JANICE199 said:


> *Was he here long? I don't remember him.*


Oh, yes, quite some time. He built up loads of reps as well. Turned out to be a previously banned female.


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

I can't believe the lengths some people will go to  These people who make up identities and keep them up for months and even years either need medical help, or they ought to be making a fortune writing fiction.

I'm beginning to be able to spot the phonies - for example, people who come on here and never post about their animals, not even in an introductory post, but come straight on here and never stray from general chat. I know general chat is popular and there are no rules to say you must own animals to join PF- but why join an animal forum in the first place if you don't want to talk about animals but only want to debate current affairs? Why not join a current affairs forum instead?

Thank goodness we have vigilant mods who eventually root out these trolls.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Spellweaver said:


> I can't believe the lengths some people will go to  These people who make up identities and keep them up for months and even years either need medical help, or they ought to be making a fortune writing fiction.
> 
> I'm beginning to be able to spot the phonies - for example, people who come on here and never post about their animals, not even in an introductory post, but come straight on here and never stray from general chat. I know general chat is popular and there are no rules to say you must own animals to join PF- but why join an animal forum in the first place if you don't want to talk about animals but only want to debate current affairs? Why not join a current affairs forum instead?
> 
> Thank goodness we have vigilant mods who eventually root out these trolls.


I quite enjoy some of the trolls; some of them are really entertaining. Don't forget the woman who joined complaining about how people were always objecting to her staffie, because of his breed. She even posted pictures, apparently a show dog she had found on an internet site. All sorts of disasters happened because she had the nerve own a staffie, but she actually didn't have one, or anything else for that matter. Weirdut:


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

sarybeagle said:


> No? Wow its incredible the lengths people will go to!
> 
> Lostbear. Yes it was heartbreaking for the lady who had lost the little girl. It was only because someone recognised the photo from another forum. This girl tried to back peddle saying the hospital had given her he wrong info or scan pic (I forget which as it was 8+ years ago)
> We had a few funny trolls. Ones whod try and post the most outrageous things or enflame the mods.
> ...


I got banned from an authors forum (not hard over there) but easy to sign up under another id, which I did. Someone posted asking what happened to the original me, and many people were on it saying how they missed the original me, while I posted under the new id that I was glad to see the back of her and she was a terrible know all! Then someone came along telling me off because I was defaming someone who couldn't answer back:001_tt2: Best laugh I've had in ages.


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

Spellweaver said:


> I can't believe the lengths some people will go to  These people who make up identities and keep them up for months and even years either need medical help, or they ought to be making a fortune writing fiction.
> 
> I'm beginning to be able to spot the phonies - for example, people who come on here and never post about their animals, not even in an introductory post, but come straight on here and never stray from general chat. I know general chat is popular and there are no rules to say you must own animals to join PF- but why join an animal forum in the first place if you don't want to talk about animals but only want to debate current affairs? Why not join a current affairs forum instead?
> 
> Thank goodness we have vigilant mods who eventually root out these trolls.


*:cryin: You talking about me? 
I hardly ever talk about my dogs, or show pictures. But i love talking in general chat.*


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

JANICE199 said:


> *:cryin: You talking about me?
> I hardly ever talk about my dogs, or show pictures. But i love talking in general chat.*


No, you numpty! 

You often join in on threads about animals (and animal trainers ) and it's obvious you have dogs - you do talk about your poodles quite often. I suspect if I looked at my posts, more of them would be in general chat than not but, like you, no-one on here would think I hadn't got dogs. The genuine are as easy to spot as the trolls!

I love your general chat theads btw - you have the knack of starting threads that generate a lot of discussion. :thumbsup:

What I meant was that most genuine people come on here with something pet related, see general chat and think, "Oooh, might join in there as well". It just strikes me as odd that someone would come on here with something not pet related and get stuck straight into polotical threads on general chat.


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

Spellweaver said:


> No, you numpty!
> 
> You often join in on threads about animals (and animal trainers ) and it's obvious you have dogs - you do talk about your poodles quite often. I suspect if I looked at my posts, more of them would be in general chat than not but, like you, no-one on here would think I hadn't got dogs. The genuine are as easy to spot as the trolls!
> 
> ...


*In my defence, if i spoke a lot about my dogs i'd probably be classed as a bad owner. ( joking)
Kia is so defiant it's unreal, and Mia is so laid back she's boring.:devil::lol::lol:*


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## noushka05 (Mar 28, 2008)

Blackcats said:


> What are your thoughts on the rep system?
> 
> Should it be removed? I know a lot of people have voiced that opinion and have felt it causes more issues than anything else.
> 
> ...


I quite like the rep system I don't even mind getting red reps, I haven't had many but some of the messages have been really quite funny lol. The best red rep ive ever had was a red rep by proxy. Comedy gold:lol:

I've only dished out red on a handful of occasions, I cant even remember the last time I gave one its so long ago. The system is open to abuse though, which is a shame.


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

noushka05 said:


> I quite like the rep system I don't even mind getting red reps, I haven't had many but some of the messages have been really quite funny lol. The best red rep ive ever had was a red rep by proxy. Comedy gold:lol:
> 
> I've only dished out red on a handful of occasions, I cant even remember the last time I gave one its so long ago. The system is open to abuse though, which is a shame.


Heh heh - reps by proxy are so funny! The last red rep I got was from the member I mentioned earlier who "likes" every post that disagrees with my posts. Or rather, not from her, but her partner. She pretends she has me on ignore so she can't actually red rep me; so she got her partner, who is also a member but who rarely posts and who hadn't posted at all on that thread, to red rep me. How childish is that?

Rep abuse? Yes, of course it is. But as you say, it's comedy gold. You can't help but laugh at those kind of antics.


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

newfiesmum said:


> Probably not. The trouble with people like your mother is they have no idea what they are missing. *Downs people are lovely and can be taught so much these days; it is a great achievement to have a special child and see them grow up to live alone with support, like my son.* I know someone whose sister's child had german measles (rubella) while my friend was pregnant. She didn't catch the disease, but still her mother in law told her to drink a bottle of gin and take a hot bath (there was no abortion then). She felt the same as your sister.
> 
> I have had people say things like: will he ever get better? or Is there no cure? *I always tell them if he woke up tomorrow perfectly normal he wouldn't be Ian, would he?* These are all reasons to prefer dogs.


Oh yes! I work with children with additional needs. their spirit and determination in the face of such challenges is inspirational; and the kids with Down syndrome have always been amazing. Stubborn, maybe, but sociable, engaging, highly likeable and with great sense of humour.  and like you say, if you took the Down's or whatever out of them, they wouldn't be them.



newfiesmum said:


> What about the bloke who got to VIP status, had thousands of posts, was an inspector for the council overseeing puppy breeders, had a wife called Katie who couldn't go far from home because she was waiting for a kidney transplant? Anyone remember him? Turned out to be a female who had done this on other forums.


Blimus.

Naive in real life I am not, but this is incredible. I still join in what I think are troll led threads, sometimes for a bit of fun, but down in rabbit world, I join in in the hope that even if the troll is having a laugh, others may read and learn.

There are some very sad people with small lives out there.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

noushka05 said:


> I quite like the rep system I don't even mind getting red reps, I haven't had many but some of the messages have been really quite funny lol. * The best red rep ive ever had was a red rep by proxy.* Comedy gold:lol:
> 
> I've only dished out red on a handful of occasions, I cant even remember the last time I gave one its so long ago. The system is open to abuse though, which is a shame.


Sorry to be thick but what is a rep by proxy?


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2015)

Spellweaver said:


> What I meant was that most genuine people come on here with something pet related, see general chat and think, "Oooh, might join in there as well". It just strikes me as odd that someone would come on here with something not pet related and get stuck straight into polotical threads on general chat.


I still remember how and why I first joined. 
I was searching the 'net for Steve White's rules of punishment, and found a good discussion going on in Dog Training and Behavior, my first post was on that thread. I stayed in T&B for a long time, the rest of the forum frankly scared me 
I finally mustered up the courage to post in general, went against the grain, (politely I thought) and got jumped on from all directions. So back to T&B I went to lick my wounds :lol:

I'm finally comfortable enough to post on *some* general threads, others, if I see who is participating, I just opt out. Not worth it.


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2015)

JANICE199 said:


> *In my defence, if i spoke a lot about my dogs i'd probably be classed as a bad owner. ( joking)
> Kia is so defiant it's unreal, and Mia is so laid back she's boring.:devil::lol::lol:*


Well despite having two cats, you won't see me posting in Cat Chat much. 
I'm an unfit cat owner


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> I got banned from an authors forum (not hard over there) but easy to sign up under another id, which I did. Someone posted asking what happened to the original me, and many people were on it saying how they missed the original me, while I posted under the new id that I was glad to see the back of her and she was a terrible know all! Then someone came along telling me off because I was defaming someone who couldn't answer back:001_tt2: Best laugh I've had in ages.


Bad Mod!

Bad, bad Mod!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Spellweaver said:


> Heh heh - reps by proxy are so funny! The last red rep I got was from the member I mentioned earlier who "likes" every post that disagrees with my posts. Or rather, not from her, but her partner. *She pretends she has me on ignore so she can't actually red rep me; so she got her partner, who is also a member but who rarely posts and who hadn't posted at all on that thread, to red rep me.* How childish is that?
> 
> Rep abuse? Yes, of course it is. But as you say, it's comedy gold. You can't help but laugh at those kind of antics.


I would be proud of a red berry obtained under such circumstances.


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## soulful dog (Nov 6, 2011)

Jeez there is some shocking stuff in this thread! Trolls are one thing...... but, well it just shows you there are some truly crazy people out there. 

On a related note, once upon a time I used to run a pretty popular forum, the admin side of it dealing with the trolls was a pain, but dealing with the downright nasty folk, that was the bane of my life. Even got sent threatening letters at one point. Glad I'm not involved with any of that now, and that experience is just one of the many reasons I tend to lurk more than I post.


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## Pupcakes (Jun 20, 2011)

I got a red rep once (but it came up grey due to the now-gone-members bad rep themselves) because in my sig I had a funny gif of a Jack Russell slipping over!

Apparently "animal abuse isnt funny"


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2015)

Pupcakes said:


> I got a red rep once (but it came up grey due to the now-gone-members bad rep themselves) because in my sig I had a funny gif of a Jack Russell slipping over!
> 
> Apparently "animal abuse isnt funny"


:lol:
We have some awesome siggys on here. Moggy has a kitten gif siggy I love, then someone has a dog running over a kid in a puddle that's hilarious. 
There have been some great gif siggies on here


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## Pupcakes (Jun 20, 2011)

ouesi said:


> :lol:
> We have some awesome siggys on here. Moggy has a kitten gif siggy I love, then someone has a dog running over a kid in a puddle that's hilarious.
> There have been some great gif siggies on here


Its mad isnt it! I love a good gif in a siggy!

Here is the offending gif - still gets me everytime!


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

ouesi said:


> :lol:
> We have some awesome siggys on here. Moggy has a kitten gif siggy I love, then someone has a dog running over a kid in a puddle that's hilarious.
> There have been some great gif siggies on here


I don't know who it was, but someone used to have a signature pic which said: I got sick of old people at weddings telling me 'you'll be next' so now I do the same to them at funerals!

That used to crack me up.


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

StormyThai said:


> Oh I still help..the main difference is that the forum doesn't get to hear about it any more
> I'm not opening myself up for that level of abuse again..anyone would think it was me that neglected those animals....


That's what I'm doing from now on. No one else will know about the progress or struggles I make/have with Cash now, or any of my dogs. I know there will be people storing the info away to use at a later date.

What I do with them is my business and my business alone


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Dogloverlou said:


> That's what I'm doing from now on. No one else will know about the progress or struggles I make/have with Cash now, or any of my dogs. I know there will be people storing the info away to use at a later date.
> 
> What I do with them is my business and my business alone


I'm really sorry to hear that, I love hearing about your gang, we all have struggles now and then. I think its really sad if you don't feel able to discuss them on a pet loving forum but can understand why if you've had a bad experience. Please don't stop posting the lovely photos though.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Spellweaver said:


> I can't believe the lengths some people will go to  These people who make up identities and keep them up for months and even years either need medical help, or they ought to be making a fortune writing fiction.
> 
> I'm beginning to be able to spot the phonies - for example, people who come on here and never post about their animals, not even in an introductory post, but come straight on here and never stray from general chat. I know general chat is popular and there are no rules to say you must own animals to join PF-* but why join an animal forum in the first place if you don't want to talk about animals but only want to debate current affairs? Why not join a current affairs forum instead?
> *
> Thank goodness we have vigilant mods who eventually root out these trolls.


I suspect it's because they like to feel they're the cleverest person in the room and see a pet/general interest forum as an easy target full of fluffy minded simpletons. Never mind that there are some very intelligent and clued up people on PF, put some of these pretenders (I think we all know who in particular I mean...) in amongst a serious discussion of politics and they'd be made mincemeat out of.


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## DogLover1981 (Mar 28, 2009)

Don't remember ever getting negative rep and don't really check the rep thing often. I don't really see the point of negative rep and don't give it myself. I see the likes as nice way to tell someone you enjoyed reading their post or found it interesting.


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> I'm really sorry to hear that, I love hearing about your gang, we all have struggles now and then. I think its really sad if you don't feel able to discuss them on a pet loving forum but can understand why if you've had a bad experience. Please don't stop posting the lovely photos though.


I could never not post photos


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

picaresque said:


> I suspect it's because they like to feel they're the cleverest person in the room and see a pet/general interest forum as an easy target full of fluffy minded simpletons. Never mind that there are some very intelligent and clued up people on PF, put some of these pretenders *(I think we all know who in particular I mean...)* in amongst a serious discussion of politics and they'd be made mincemeat out of.


I'm sure we do


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Spellweaver said:


> I'm sure we do


Well I don't and it's going to keep me awake all nighthmy:


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2015)

newfiesmum said:


> Well I don't and it's going to keep me awake all nighthmy:


Janice told me not to tell you! 

You're a mod and you'll ruin the fun


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Dogloverlou said:


> I could never not post photos


I was out with Molly today, trying to practice her 'gives' as she still occasionally steals a ball, chews it and I have to replace it which is of course a huge bad bad thing. I thought at the time of doing this training, the wrath of PF would be on me and I decided that I simply couldn't give a flying (rude word). Since I've taken the advice on here with a pinch of salt, left the 'what are you working on' thread and taken life at my pace which can be slower than others, I'm much happier with my dog. So I honestly don't blame you. I've met Ty and he's a flipping legend of a dog and I love him to pieces and will always be my number one dog crush. You're an awesome person too as well as a fab photographer. The best pictures I have of Molly were taken by you.

Nobody's dog is perfect and it's the imperfections that we learn from even if some on here won't admit to that


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

ouesi said:


> Janice told me not to tell you!
> 
> You're a mod and you'll ruin the fun


I think I do but I often get the feeling that life is happening several planes above me so I'm probably totally wrong  Hell, I can't even multiquote properly.


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## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

MollySmith said:


> Nobody's dog is perfect and it's the imperfections that we learn from even if some on here won't admit to that


How very dare you :yikes:

I'll have you know Thai IS perfect...my handling skills on the other hand..now THAT is where there are imperfections :001_tt2:


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2015)

MollySmith said:


> I think I do but I often get the feeling that life is happening several planes above me so I'm probably totally wrong  Hell, I can't even multiquote properly.


Tails and Trails is CANOLOGY 

Not a huge secret, just funny if you're easily entertained like I am on a rainy sunday afternoon.

I think he knows we know though, CANOLOGY seems to be laying low since someone brought it up on this thread


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

StormyThai said:


> How very dare you :yikes:
> 
> I'll have you know Thai IS perfect...my handling skills on the other hand..now THAT is where there are imperfections :001_tt2:


:idea:Ah so that's it. My dog is perfect, me on the other hand ut:


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

ouesi said:


> Tails and Trails is CANOLOGY
> 
> Not a huge secret, just funny if you're easily entertained like I am on a rainy sunday afternoon.
> 
> I think he knows we know though, CANOLOGY seems to be laying low since someone brought it up on this thread


Oh of course!  I had forgotten that and was stupidly thinking of something/one else


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

its the imperfections of a dog that makes the perfect


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## noushka05 (Mar 28, 2008)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> Sorry to be thick but what is a rep by proxy?


Its a rep given on behalf of someone else RPH This ~ (literally lol) >>>



Spellweaver said:


> Heh heh - reps by proxy are so funny! The last red rep I got was from the member I mentioned earlier who "likes" every post that disagrees with my posts. Or rather, not from her, but her partner. She pretends she has me on ignore so she can't actually red rep me; so she got her partner, who is also a member but who rarely posts and who hadn't posted at all on that thread, to red rep me. How childish is that?
> 
> Rep abuse? Yes, of course it is. But as you say, it's comedy gold. You can't help but laugh at those kind of antics.


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

ouesi said:


> Janice told me not to tell you!
> 
> You're a mod and you'll ruin the fun


*tut tut I saw that...*


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