# My 2 Ragdoll kittens don't like to be held.



## Moominmama (Aug 5, 2013)

Hi Everyone,
I'm new to this forum and would appreciate any advice you can give. I have had two Ragdoll kittens for 2 weeks and they are now 10 weeks old. They are very beautiful and we adore them but they just don't like being held and miaow and struggle after a few seconds of gentle and secure holding.
They were raised in a family home and were well socialised. They are very lively and spend lots of time playing together as well as with us. They purr when we come into the room and most nights they snuggle down between us to sleep on our bed. They have lots of toys and plenty of stimulation and are healthy and seem happy.
Daisy, our little girl kitten is more outgoing than her brother Donovan who is a little shy.
I have discussed this issue with my vet and she has advised that I pick them up regularly even if it is just for a few seconds. I've been doing this but feel bad as the kittens obviously don't like it.
I know some people will point out that the kittens are young and should have been with their Mum till at least 12 weeks. We bought them from a lady who breeds them occasionally as a hobby. We saw Mum and Dad and they seemed well adjusted and happy. I assume she didn't want the expense of vaccinating them which is why they were advertised to go at 8 weeks.
We chose Ragdolls after researching the breed characteristics and are worried that we will have Ragolls who are not typical of the breed. Has anyone else had this issue and has anyone who has had a kitten like these had it develop into a loving and affectionate adult cat. I know it may be that they are still young and are still adjusting to life away from their Mum but we have had kittens before and although it was a long time ago we can't remember having such problems with picking them up.
Any advice would be welcome.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Best wishes
Moominmama


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## Lunabuma (Dec 12, 2011)

Hello and welcome! We'd looove some photos of them, I bet they are gorgeous.

Unfortunately, they can't be well socialised if you got them at 8 weeks old and this may be part of the problem. Kittens should be with their mum and litter mates until at least 13 weeks to ensure this.

I'm guessing not but did you get any registration papers with them, proof of vaccinations etc?


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

Well you have hit the nail on the head really - you wanted ragdolls but bought them too early. It is possible that the 'breeder' doesn't have the best stock to work from, and at 8 weeks they still have a lot to learn form their siblings and their mum about being sociable. My kittens are now 6 weeks old and are fine with all and sundry coming in and picking them up. I have handled them for day 1. Sounds like your breeder hasn't handled them enough. It is very possible that you have Ragdolls that won't be up to the breed standard, or you might. That's the risk you take not buying from a proper hobby breeder who keeps the kittens until 13 weeks - they might not be the best *quality* kitten you can buy.

I too am a hobby breeder and think you will find most are - doesn't stop me raising my kittens to 13 weeks and registering then. Not made any money on a litter yet. Definitely a hobby.

However, you now have them and they sound lovely apart from not wanting to be handled, I would accept them for what they are, handle them regularly, two or three times a day until they learn that being handled is nothing to worry about. I'm teaching mine at the moment that dangling upside down is fun! Two love it at the mo.


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## Moominmama (Aug 5, 2013)

Hi,
Unsurprisingly I didn't get any papers as their parents are not registered. We didn't feel it was important and to be honest just fell in love with the kittens. I'm hoping that they will grow in confidence and trust us a bit more, allowing us to handle them without upsetting them.
They are affectionate in their own way so its fingers crossed that things will improve.
However, if anyone has any advice on how to proceed it would be much appreciated.
I will post some photos and yes they are gorgeous!
Best wishes
Moominmama


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## smiler84 (Feb 4, 2012)

If you want guaranteed cuddle cats you're best off buying a teddy bear. You're most likely to get breed characteristics from well bred and well socialised litters but at the end of the day they're all different and some will be more comfortable with it than others.


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## Cookieandme (Dec 29, 2011)

When I went to view April she sat on my knee for about 30 mins, since I brought her home she has not once sat on my knee and hates being handled :cryin:


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## Moominmama (Aug 5, 2013)

Thanks Cookie. Your post made me feel a bit better! I'm sure your cat is loving in other ways and perhaps thats what we will have to accept with ours too.
I feel a bit naive and stupid and I know people will think its our own fault for buying kittens at 8 weeks but I genuinely didn't think it was so important for them to be with their Mum till 13 weeks. Obviously now I'm a bit wiser but its too late. My kittens are wonderful and give us so much pleasure and I am hoping that they will develop into good natured adult cats. They are very 'purry'. I know cats all have their own personalities. We have two adult cats who we rehomed 4 years ago from a friend who got a puppy who just overwhelmed the cats. They are mother and daughter so have never been separated but Moonicus, the daughter, is terribly shy and doesn't like to be held. She's quite a strange girl but we love her for who she is.
We are very slowly trying to introduce our kittens to our moggies but so far the adults are not impressed and walk away. Another issue to tackle!!!! Any advice on this one folks?
Best wishes
Moominmama


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

Try picking them up when they are drowsy and let them rest comfortably against your chest. Talk to them very softly and gently and stroke them...
They may be more willing to stay in your arms that way than when they are full of play and energy.

When I got Gaudi at 12 weeks, he didn't like to be held at all. So I put a shirt of mine in his bed, so he would associate my scent with being safe and comfortable, and when he wanted to sleep, I took him to bed with me and let him sleep against my chest while I cradled him in my arm, or I sat in a chair, cradling him in my arms.

He became the most cuddly cat I ever owned, he loved to sleep in my arms or against my chest...

After Gaudi's death (I lost him to FIP at 10 months old), I got his brother, who had never been held till he came to me at over a year old. Connor still doesn't like to be picked up, but he is no longer uncomfortable with it, he just doesn't really like to be restricted like that.


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## Figaro (Jul 27, 2013)

I'm sure they will come round once they know cuddles and strokes are nice. I brought my kitten home too at 8 weeks and he doesn't mind one bit, so soppy. You trusted the breeder so don't feel bad about getting them early.


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

Gaudi hated being held, too......


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## Moominmama (Aug 5, 2013)

You've given me hope! Gaudi is beautiful. You are very lucky and Gaudi is lucky to have a brilliant Mum.


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

We were very lucky to have him, he was gorgeous.
Unfortunately, his life was very short, he had an incurable disease and died before he was a year old, but in that short time he managed to give enough love to last a lifetime.

He was my little angel, and I guess angels never stay long, but if you are allowed to share your life with one for a little while, it is a blessing beyond belief.


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## cats galore (Jul 17, 2012)

Jiskefet said:


> We were very lucky to have him, he was gorgeous.
> Unfortunately, his life was very short, he had an incurable disease and died before he was a year old, but in that short time he managed to give enough love to last a lifetime.
> 
> He was my little angel, and I guess angels never stay long, but if you are allowed to share your life with one for a little while, it is a blessing beyond belief.


what a beautiful way of saying something that was obviously heartbreaking for you


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## catgeoffrey (Jun 28, 2012)

Our bsh hated being held at first but now has cuddles and face rubs every morning and at bed time. He isn't a lap cat or overly cuddly but he's brill! 
You'll learn their characteristics over time and keep handling them to get them used to it and just enjoy your little bundles of fluff! 
Pictures please!


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

cats galore said:


> what a beautiful way of saying something that was obviously heartbreaking for you


I simply have to believe this to cope with the loss of my little man.

I do believe that some poor cats and dogs that were called to the bridge without having known love, without having found a human who will come and collect them, are given a second chance. That they are sent back, just for a short time, to find a human to love, a human they want to wait for at the bridge. And I think it is both a great honour and a great responsibility to be selected to give a pet this second chance.


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## catlove844 (Feb 15, 2011)

I cant add much more, but your kittens have missed out on a lot, paperwork shows the lines of the cat, not pedigree registration, so you have 2 cats but their mum dad may LOOK like a ragdoll, but both might be crosses, their grandparents may have been another breed. No paperwork so mum/dad might be siblings, who knows? There is also health tests, did the 'loving' breeder HCM PKD test the mum/dad? To make sure the kittens do not suffer? 

You must stop picking them up, the more you do it the less they will trust you! Would you want to kept being picked up by complete strangers? Leave them be and let them come to you!


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## oggers86 (Nov 14, 2011)

Neither of mine are fans of being picked up. Elise sometimes tolerates it but mostly yowls like she is being tortured. That is her usual way of expressing her displeasure, god knows what the neighbours think! Elsa tolerates it better, she gets picked up a lot more because of that but she has learnt just to be patient and let the crazy lady cuddle her. If she could eye roll I am certain she would!!

My mums ex stray loves being cuddled and he acts like a big teddy bear.

I wish mine were more snuggly but that just isn't their personality.

_Posted from Petforums.co.uk App for Android_


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## smiler84 (Feb 4, 2012)

arthur gives amazing cuddles, but only when he wants to! It's completely on his own terms, and if I try to ambush him for a cuddle he swiftly puts me back in my place!


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## JordanRose (Mar 10, 2012)

Like the others have said, it sounds as though you've gone to an unscrupulous breeder and their socialisation has not been complete.

Even if your kittens are full Ragdolls (which is questionable given that they're unregistered and without papers), they still need to be well handled to become happy about being picked up. The cuddliness is a trait of Raggies but not something that necessarily happens automatically.

My cat hates being handled. He loves to be on my knee and gives the best cuddles in that respect but I just can't pick him up- sometimes I would love to give him a big squishy cuddle but have to accept that this is how he is. 

At 10 weeks, I imagine you could get them to tolerate being held with short, regular handling however, without being handled from birth they may never be completely at ease with being picked up.


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