# im starting to hate my dog...



## laydeeartois (Nov 1, 2013)

Ok so I know hate is a strong word...and don't take this 'rant' the wrong way cause I love animals I have grew up with them all my life...
myself and my partner have a 2yr old Lakeland terrier. I loved him when we first got him would play with him all the time walk him etc. he took to my partner straight away, we thought it was cute how he followed him around wagging his tail. But now its out of hand.
If my partner goes into a different room our dog will immediately jump up to follow him, he follows him to the toilet etc. If my partner sits down to play with our sons (we have 2 sons together) the dog will jump up and go over trying to get involved. 
He has a big cushion which he lays on in the kitchen (we just got a new sofa so he isn't allowed in the livingroom) , and he constantly lies on the floor next to the door to be next to my partner , the thing that annoys me is, if my partner goes out, the dog will lie on his cushion and not move. He doesn't eat or get off his cushion until my partner comes home.
So when my partner is in I tell the dog to lie down, I don't think he should need to follow my fiance around all day or be near him constantly, but my partner thinks im cruel and should let the dog do it.
This is splitting us up I've really had enough. Someone please help ? 
Sorry the rant is long, there's loads I could add :laugh: thanks any useful advice will be appreciated.


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## ellenlouisepascoe (Jul 12, 2013)

Seems a little harsh to "hate" him over that but yes your dog sounds like he needs to learn to be alone 

He needs to know that being on his own and leaving humans alone is a good thing, when your husband is playing with the kids toss the dog a kong filled with peanut butter , or a bone to chew on something to keep his mind occupied.

There are also some tips you may find helpful on this page.

http://www.deesdogs.com/documents/teachingyourdogtostayhomealone.pdf

Following you everywhere is normally a stage they go through however can become habit.

Don't be stressed with the dog, he's just doing what he's been allowed to do for 2 years , would you not allow him into the living room if he learned to stay on his bed?


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## hazel pritchard (Jun 28, 2009)

Sadly this dog has been allowed to behave like this ,so now he has to be taught to change that, if he feels that things at home are stressed he will pick this up, can i ask does he have a kong toy? i think these are great to give to dogs so they can amuse themselves for short bursts of times, they can be filled with your dogs food then frozen, then give to your dog to play with while you and your partner are playing with your children, this will teach your dog to amuse himself , it sounds like he has seperation issues ,and this will take time and loveing to sort out,also not all of a sudden being allowed in a room where the person he feels he needs to be with is going to cause alot of distress


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## Paula07 (Aug 23, 2010)

My Nick was the exact same when I got him, whenever he got up I just put him back on his bed, he got it eventually. 

You need to teach a good solid 'stay' - but you are both going to have to be on board im afraid. 

Oh the joys of being single .


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## Malmum (Aug 1, 2010)

Are you jealous of this dog? Because hating it for being close to your partner sounds as if you are. If it doesn't bother him why does it bother you?

The dog can likely feel your dislike towards him and steers clear of you, if you gave him affection and played with him perhaps he'd be closer to you too. When I read the title I expected to find an aggressive/destructive dog, not a loyal companion who loves his master.


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## Mese (Jun 5, 2008)

My dog Gypsy constantly follows me around , infact all 3 of my dogs do but she is the 'worst' at being my shadow
Does it bother me ... not at all as none of them have SA they just like being with me when im around , they will go off and play or whatever but each one will come and check-up on what im doing at intervals , if im out they settle down and do their own thing 
Im dumped like a hot brick by Toffee as soon as their Dad , my ex , comes around to see them though , Steve is Toffee's god :laugh:

Im afraid im with your partner on this issue though , as long as the dog isnt showing signs of SA when he isnt around then wheres the problem , dogs do lie around and sleep a lot (or so im told , my three are on the go 24/7 , lol)

Are you maybe a little jealous that your dog prefers your partner to you , which is perfectly natural , at first it used to bother me that Toffee didnt give a damn about me when Steve was around even though it was me who does everything for the dogs , now I find it cute how much Toff loves Steve and Steve is devoted to Toff (he loves all the dogs but its soooo obvious Toff is his fave)

Have you ever recorded the dog when no-one is around to see his reaction , does he have SA or is it just a preference for your partner ? ... dogs do kinda pick who _their_ human is going to be


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## Guest (Nov 2, 2013)

It just sounds like a dog who loves his master to me - I don't think this behaviour is out of the ordinary at all. Of course when your parter and sons sit down and play together the dog wants to be involved - I can't do anything on the floor without having my dog all over me, likewise my dog often follows me to the toilet too unless she's preoccupied with something. It's not the dog's fault, he just loves his person! Certainly seems extreme to say you hate him because of it.

If there are times when it isn't suitable for the dog to be so close to your partner why not put up a baby gate somewhere (kitchen?) so he can still see and hear everything but not get 'in the way', or as others have said, give him a kong or good chew for him to amuse himself with.

You said "I loved him when we first got him would play with him all the time walk him etc." so it sounds like you don't do these things anymore? I think the best solution to your problem (if you can call it a problem) is for you to start building a bond with the dog too. Why not, when your partner and the kids are playing, take the dog out for a walk or play with him out in the garden? He may always love your partner best, but if you put the effort into forming a bond with him then he may begin to be happier to spend time with you too rather than just focusing on your partner.


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## Mumtomaddog (Sep 17, 2013)

No offence meant whatsoever but i agree with others, it sounds like you're a little jealous? 

Part of me thinks that if he isnt distressed in any way, does it matter that he follows your OH around all the time... other part of me thinks that it needs working on because while ever you continue to 'hate' your poor dog, he will pick up on it and no wonder he is more for your OH.

Our dog follows me around like my shadow, wherever i am, he's there, even if everyone else has food! It doesnt *really* bother me too much and certainly i dont think anyone in out house dislikes him in any way because of it. It's just that i am with him, i feed him, i walk him, i train him because i'm at home with him at the moment. Maybe you have to try and do more with him and build up a bond with him. He certainly doesnt deserve to be disliked because he favours one person over the other.


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## dorrit (Sep 13, 2011)

I think resent is the word you are looking for . You resent the fact that the dog ( you dont mention his name) has bonded with your OH and not you.

In this situation you are the one who can make that change by engaging more with your dog. He will feel your animosity so you have to get your own feeling under control before you do anything else.

My own velcro dog Remy is constantly at my side but my OH has worked with him for 7years trying to gain his trust and affection. He has got the trust but Remy never goes to OH for affection.

OH is a big enough man to understand that theres nothing personal about it but Remy feels happier when Im around.

I think if you work on your own attitude and emotions the rest will follow.


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## Buzzard (Aug 10, 2012)

Mac is like that when by hubby is at home, but as its me and him in the daytime now both kids are at school and hubby at work he follows me around then too. Do you try playing with the dog much? I think it may help if you and your children try to interact more with the dog, by playing or training tricks etc. Good luck.


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## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

I like terriers, love their tenacity, loyalty.love them...and I think Lakelands are really smart little dogs but they can be really strong willed too.

I dont think you hate your dog and agree with dorrit you resent him.

Some dogs just pick one person, behave well for other people but just want 1 boss.

We have a Bullmastiff.she wasn't my choice of dog but my husbands and she dotes on his every word . He is away from home a lot and when he isn't here, she is good for me...he walks through the door and thats it......goes deaf every time I open my mouth unless its feeding time.Thats ok.....not a problem as long as she is under control when needs to be.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

I agree with all the other comments.

Sounds a bit to me like the novelty of having a dog has worn off a bit. Now you want him to fit around your life. Not wanting attention or play and stay on his cushion in the kitchen - out of the way 

When you first got him you made him the centre of your world and he probably can't understand why he no longer is.

Dogs need to be taught to settle and be happy on their own for short periods. There are no short cuts and it takes time to teach this. It's more likely to work when they have had their exercise and some play time with their family.


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## ClaireandDaisy (Jul 4, 2010)

Jealousy is a very unattractive emotion. Animals have no agenda. If you don`t give the dog rewarding attention, he will ignore you. Simples.


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## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

ClaireandDaisy said:


> Jealousy is a very unattractive emotion. Animals have no agenda. If you don`t give the dog rewarding attention, he will ignore you. Simples.


This a thousand times 

My OH started making noises because my dog bonded with me pretty much instantly, my boy is my shadow and loyal friend...where ever I go he is sure to follow me...
I reminded the OH that if he played a part in training and actually spending time with the dog then things may change, so he started to step up to the mark.

I won't lie, Thai is still very much my dog but he now looks up to my OH as well...

So yeah, crack on with actually spending some rewarding (for him) time with him and he may start to look to you as well as your OH


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## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

laydeeartois said:


> Ok so I know hate is a strong word...and don't take this 'rant' the wrong way cause I love animals I have grew up with them all my life...
> myself and my partner have a 2yr old Lakeland terrier. I loved him when we first got him would play with him all the time walk him etc. he took to my partner straight away, we thought it was cute how he followed him around wagging his tail. But now its out of hand.
> If my partner goes into a different room our dog will immediately jump up to follow him, he follows him to the toilet etc. If my partner sits down to play with our sons (we have 2 sons together) the dog will jump up and go over trying to get involved.
> He has a big cushion which he lays on in the kitchen (we just got a new sofa so he isn't allowed in the livingroom) , and he constantly lies on the floor next to the door to be next to my partner , the thing that annoys me is, if my partner goes out, the dog will lie on his cushion and not move. He doesn't eat or get off his cushion until my partner comes home.
> ...


You have used love in the past tense for your dog :sad:

I agree that if the dog doesn't have separation anxiety when in the house totally alone, I don't see a problem here. Ben will sometimes follow me or my hubby out a room, sometimes he doesn't if he is sound asleep but even then he has one eye open seeing what is going on.

You say you dog isn't allowed in the living room anymore because of the new sofa, couldn't he be allowed in there on his cushion and taught that he isn't allowed on the sofa? We just had a new lounge and some of my family say Ben shouldn't be allowed in there....meaning he would be alone whilst we sit in there all evening watching TV?! I don't think so. I have a dog because I enjoy his company.

I would be interested to know your dogs exercise/training routine and what mental stimulation he has.


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## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

Poor dog 

So not only has he been stopped getting on the sofa which is fair do's your choice, but he's not even allowed in the same room as it :sad: Or near you husband whilst on it :sad: what's up with putting the cushion on the floor next to the sofa 


Jealousy is not pretty emotion at all.


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## Emma P (Sep 21, 2013)

I don't understand what the problem is. Your dog has bonded with your OH and not you because you're "starting to hate him". I have a terrier and he spends most his time with me as he goes to work with me. He and I are very bonded but that doesn't mean my hubby hates him for it and because he doesn't hate him, my Terrier has a bond with him too. Dogs are clever enough to know when someone doesn't like them. 
So your boy isn't allowed in the living room anymore and he's not allowed to get involved when your OH and children play and he's banished to his cushion in the kitchen at all times? That seems a bit unfair to me. He's a part of your family, he's not allowed to be involved. Using love in the past tense, you've really fallen out of love with him? 
I work with dogs and have had them in my life since I was 7 just like you have. I have had a lot of people tell me their problems with their dogs and I've tried to find a solution for them. Most of the time the people aren't willing to make a massive effort to solve the problem and the dog ends up being rehomed, thankfully to people who can meet the needs of the dog and solve the problems. But avoiding rehoming is the best way. 
I would say you need to reconnect with your boy, remember what you felt for him as a pup. Do you and him spend any fun time together? Walks, playing, just sitting with him watching tv? Don't distance yourself from him. When I sit with my boys I have one cuddled into each side of me on the couch and my big lad at my feet. Has he had any basic training? Reward based training is an amazing way to connect with your pooch. They start to see you as fun and interesting and the giver of chicken  It's the best feeling ever to see a dog look at you with that look, it has been documented in the past that when a dog has respect and love for a human you can see it in the way they look at that person, it's like when they know they are loved and they're happy. 
I'm sure you want that for your dog. 
I myslef had problems with one of my dogs who was driven my his hormones and would not listen to a word I said when he turned from cute puppy to a hormonal 'teenager' at 9 months. It was like everything I taught him and the bond we developed had gone. But I persevered with him and I got his attention back. I never stopped loving him, it wasn't his fault he acted the way he did. And he's just gone and won his very first Competitive Obedience show   
Please keep updating this thread because I'm really interested to hear if any progress has been made with him. 
I hope you don't think the start of my post is a bit argumentative  That's the last thing I want.


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## Sarah1983 (Nov 2, 2011)

What a sad, sad post  Perhaps if you didn't resent the poor dog so much he'd like you a little more.

Do you do anything with him? My dog mostly ignores my OH because he does next to nothing with him. It's me who does all the walks, the feeding, the training, most of the play and just general interaction. Why is he banished from the living room because you have a new sofa? I can understand when he's wet and muddy and I can understand not wanting him on the sofa. But to banish him to the kitchen when you're all sitting in the living room seems very unfair to me. Especially if he's previously been allowed in the living room with you.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

sigh  why not get a few throws for the sofa if you are that concerned about the dog being on it? Or just allow him on it only when he's clean/dry? Automatic reaction is to blame the dog, but whose the real problem here


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Malmum said:


> Are you jealous of this dog? Because hating it for being close to your partner sounds as if you are. If it doesn't bother him why does it bother you?
> 
> The dog can likely feel your dislike towards him and steers clear of you, if you gave him affection and played with him perhaps he'd be closer to you too. When I read the title I expected to find an aggressive/destructive dog, not a loyal companion who loves his master.


What she said.

If you have always allowed the dog into the living room and suddenly he can't come in because a new sofa is more important, then obviously he is going to give all his attention to the person who gives him the most attention.

Quite honestly, I don't know what your problem is.


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## laydeeartois (Nov 1, 2013)

No, you see I don't hate the dog, I hate the way he behaves. Maybe I am a little jealous...but only because my partner wont do anything about it. Our vet said he has seperation anxiety and gave us things to do to help, eg. Making him stay in a different room to learn he doesn't need to be next to my partner 24/7. But my partner wont do anything because he loves the dog and doesn't think its wrong.
And in reply to do I walk.him, yes I walk him everyday, I feed him and everyone in the household plays with him on a daily basis. 
I love my dog....just not his ways. If my children follow my partner about he gets angry, yet he lets the dog do it ? I don't think its fair.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

Right so its your partner then isn't it? I hate it when people say they hate the dog or its behaviour and its not even the dog's fault. Like yesterday when I was looking after mum's puppy and he did a poo in the middle of the kitchen floor - dog's fault? No its mine for not being patient and forgetting to keep him outside for a bit longer.


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## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

laydeeartois said:


> No, you see I don't hate the dog, I hate the way he behaves. Maybe I am a little jealous...but only because my partner wont do anything about it. Our vet said he has seperation anxiety and gave us things to do to help, eg. Making him stay in a different room to learn he doesn't need to be next to my partner 24/7. But my partner wont do anything because he loves the dog and doesn't think its wrong.
> And in reply to do I walk.him, yes I walk him everyday, I feed him and everyone in the household plays with him on a daily basis.
> I love my dog....just not his ways. If my children follow my partner about he gets angry, yet he lets the dog do it ? I don't think its fair.


Do u mean the dog has separation anxiety from your partner when he isn't around or separation anxiety when he is totally alone in the house?

Do you both walk him together or separate?


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## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

laydeeartois said:


> *No, you see I don't hate the dog, I hate the way he behaves.* Maybe I am a little jealous...but only because my partner wont do anything about it. Our vet said he has seperation anxiety and gave us things to do to help, eg. Making him stay in a different room to learn he doesn't need to be next to my partner 24/7. But my partner wont do anything because he loves the dog and doesn't think its wrong.
> And in reply to do I walk.him, yes I walk him everyday, I feed him and everyone in the household plays with him on a daily basis.
> I love my dog....just not his ways. If my children follow my partner about he gets angry, yet he lets the dog do it ? I don't think its fair.


Then do something about it....
Find yourself a good positive trainer and learn to bond with your dog, you need to put the effort in and when you do your dog will reward you ten fold...

If I am brutally honest you sound like you are resenting that your OH spends more time with the dog than he does the kids, if that is the case then kick him up the backside to get him interacting with the kids and when he is with the kids you could be training your dog creating a better bond between the two of you.

When you bring a dog into your home you learn to adapt to our pets ways, I love my Thai's little "things", they make him who he is. Now that doesn't mean that I don't work on the things that need working on, it means that I accept Thai for who he is.....

Personally I am failing to see what the problem is, most people would kill for a bond like the one that your Oh has with his dog.... Remember, dogs choose their people, not the other way around


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## Emma P (Sep 21, 2013)

This thread is called 'I'm starting to hate my dog..." So do excuse us that thought you hate your dog. A lot of good advice has been given by people on here, I hope you take it on board and put it into practice. Vets are not always the best for advice, as strange as that may sound. I have an amazing vet, but he isn't always right so don't take what he says as gospel. Use Youtube, this forum, friends, whatever you can to get a good idea of what to do. You'll be surprised at how quick your boy changes and gets better once you start helping him. 
Don't blame the dog (in not saying you are) there's a reason he's doing what he's doing and it's up to you as his owner to help him. You've made the first step by coming on here and asking for help which means you care. 

If you really put the effort in and take the advice given by people on here you'll do great.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

laydeeartois said:


> No, you see I don't hate the dog, I hate the way he behaves. Maybe I am a little jealous...but only because my partner wont do anything about it. Our vet said he has seperation anxiety and gave us things to do to help, eg. Making him stay in a different room to learn he doesn't need to be next to my partner 24/7. But my partner wont do anything because he loves the dog and doesn't think its wrong.
> And in reply to do I walk.him, yes I walk him everyday, I feed him and everyone in the household plays with him on a daily basis.
> I love my dog....just not his ways. If my children follow my partner about he gets angry, yet he lets the dog do it ? I don't think its fair.


It is not your dog's fault but those of the humans as you're not presenting a united front which one imagines you must surely do with your children? Same principle applies with your dog. If I'm honest you come across as a little resentful and petulant and it won't help your pup if he can sense that in your moods. He'll get away with more with your partner and, much like if you're sharp when you call him on a walk, he'll be much more likely to come back to a friendly name call in a cheery voice.

I think that crate training might help and there are resources on that in the stickies, baby gates and kongs. Both of you need to pop him behind a baby gate with a kong, not just you. Your resentment/hatred of the dog won't be solved until your partner is consistent too.

Like Stormy Thai mentioned with her dog, I found that Molly became attached to me. She'd run off on walks with my husband, generally play merry hell with him and be a better _behaved_ dog with me. He didn't do any training, rarely treated her for good behaviour and treated her like he thinks dogs were treated when he was a child. Not cruelly I must stress but a bit indifferent. I got a behaviourist involved and we began from scratch with clicker training and very quickly it's sorted itself out. She'll probably always be my dog but she's happy to listen and be involved with my husband but I had to let go a bit myself too. You need extra support from your partner and maybe going through some training with a professional might be the answer if he won't listen to you.

SA is an awful problem and it's not something you should hate your dog for, that's very sad when there are resources to help fix that.

Have you thought about interactive games you can do with him, my OH plays tuggies with Molly (managed carefully so she has learned drop and play commands) and that's their special game. She'll find her tug toy in scent work games and then seek him out for a game. I am apparently not good enough for tuggies


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

I personally wouldn't be bothered about the dog following my OH around, or with it wanting to play with him and the kids - in fact, as long as the dog knows never to nip, and the boys know not to be too rough with the dog, this is a great way of them all bonding with each other.

Do you miss the times when you played with the dog yourself? Is there no time (OH at work or pub, kids at school or locked in cupboard under stairs) when you could have some fun with him again?


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## Mese (Jun 5, 2008)

lostbear said:


> OH at work or pub, kids at school or locked in cupboard under stairs


Im glad I dont live with you :laugh:


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## Tracyplum (Oct 20, 2013)

My dog loves my OH, he follows him around and often goes everywhere with him, even the pub. When we moved in together they became ' best buds' or ' co-pilot' as my OH calls him. I'm fine with it because I always have one of the other dogs or cats keeping me company. If a firework goes off outside my dog will I come to me for protection though! So long as there is no aggression I can't see the problem.


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## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

My dogs follow me everywhere when I'm at home. I have a couple on the chair behind me atm...and several around my feet. When I move, they will follow me. When I go out, they sleep in their beds, play with their toys, etc (so I am told)....a couple sit by the door awaiting my return. I don't see it as a problem. When we play, the dogs join in. If it is not appropriate for them to play at that point, they are told "bed" ... they go.

My dogs share the sofas and just about everywhere else in the house (not upstairs though, as I worry about them with the stairs). They are family members.

OP your dog doesn't sound like a problem at all. In fact, I expect a lot of dog owners would be envious that you have such a lovely loyal dog, that doesn't appear to have any issues (ie aggression, dirty in the home, etc). 

Appreciate your dog. He sounds lovely.


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## bay20 (Aug 14, 2013)

laydeeartois said:


> No, you see I don't hate the dog, I hate the way he behaves. Maybe I am a little jealous...but only because my partner wont do anything about it. Our vet said he has seperation anxiety and gave us things to do to help, eg. Making him stay in a different room to learn he doesn't need to be next to my partner 24/7. But my partner wont do anything because he loves the dog and doesn't think its wrong.
> And in reply to do I walk.him, yes I walk him everyday, I feed him and everyone in the household plays with him on a daily basis.
> I love my dog....just not his ways. If my children follow my partner about he gets angry, yet he lets the dog do it ? I don't think its fair.


I still don't seevwhat the big issue is with him following your other half around? Dogs are bought into our lives for manyreasons including to keep us company and vice versa. Sounds to me likewise have more of a problem with your partners ways rather than your dogs. My dog misses my oh when he isn't here but I'll distract him with walks, games, interaction and naps. I think it's lovely he has such a bond, some dog owners I no crave that from their more aloof dogs. If the separation anxiety the vet says he has is making him miserable this does need addressing but to me sounds like a dog who loves his owner. Try to see this as a positive thing. It's not harming anyone is it? And when ou want to play with your children the suggestions of a baby gatevand kong would be mine so he still sees you all but learns to entertain himself. Good luck and hope you an enjoy your dog again soon


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## laydeeartois (Nov 1, 2013)

He has nipped my children and myself a couple of times when we've been near my partner. We walk him seperate, my partner walks him every night and I walk him on a morning and on an afternoon. I appreciate all your advice but I obviously didn't paint a clear picture of the way our dog behaves. 
I blame my partner not the dog, obviously I know he will only understand what he is allowed to do when both people are doing it. I just feel this is getting worse, my partner doesn't want to change what the dog does so where does that leave us? 
P.s. He does pee on the floor but only when my partner isn't in, we do have safety gates up for the children but the dog stands at the gate al day while my partner is in. 
As I write this my partner is not in and the dog is sound asleep on his cushion, he will be there until later, I could put all his toys infront of him and he still wouldn't move unless my partner was here.


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## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

laydeeartois said:


> He has nipped my children and myself a couple of times when we've been near my partner. We walk him seperate, my partner walks him every night and I walk him on a morning and on an afternoon. I appreciate all your advice but I obviously didn't paint a clear picture of the way our dog behaves.
> I blame my partner not the dog, obviously I know he will only understand what he is allowed to do when both people are doing it. I just feel this is getting worse, my partner doesn't want to change what the dog does so where does that leave us?
> P.s. He does pee on the floor but only when my partner isn't in, we do have safety gates up for the children but the dog stands at the gate al day while my partner is in.
> As I write this my partner is not in and the dog is sound asleep on his cushion, he will be there until later, I could put all his toys infront of him and he still wouldn't move unless my partner was here.


He has nipped your children :eek6:
I think you should have been completely honest in your first post


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## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

laydeeartois said:


> *He has nipped my children and myself a couple of times when we've been near my partner.* We walk him seperate, my partner walks him every night and I walk him on a morning and on an afternoon. I appreciate all your advice but I obviously didn't paint a clear picture of the way our dog behaves.
> I blame my partner not the dog, obviously I know he will only understand what he is allowed to do when both people are doing it. I just feel this is getting worse, my partner doesn't want to change what the dog does so where does that leave us?
> P.s. He does pee on the floor but only when my partner isn't in, we do have safety gates up for the children but the dog stands at the gate al day while my partner is in.
> As I write this my partner is not in and the dog is sound asleep on his cushion, he will be there until later, I could put all his toys infront of him and he still wouldn't move unless my partner was here.


That above (in bold) is not something I got from reading your previous posts. Nipping is of course NOT ACCEPTABLE but not something I've had to deal with. I am sure you will get lots of good advice from other members on here though, as to how to tackle that situation.


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## laydeeartois (Nov 1, 2013)

He has never _bit my children, but he has went for them and nipped them whilst hes been lying down and my youngest has crawled over to him. He doesn't like people next to my partner, I think hes the one that's jealous...yous obviously think im the jealous one. Seriously yous would have to be here 24/7 to truely understand the extent of it all_


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## bay20 (Aug 14, 2013)

laydeeartois said:


> He has nipped my children and myself a couple of times when we've been near my partner. We walk him seperate, my partner walks him every night and I walk him on a morning and on an afternoon. I appreciate all your advice but I obviously didn't paint a clear picture of the way our dog behaves.
> I blame my partner not the dog, obviously I know he will only understand what he is allowed to do when both people are doing it. I just feel this is getting worse, my partner doesn't want to change what the dog does so where does that leave us?
> P.s. He does pee on the floor but only when my partner isn't in, we do have safety gates up for the children but the dog stands at the gate al day while my partner is in.
> As I write this my partner is not in and the dog is sound asleep on his cushion, he will be there until later, I could put all his toys infront of him and he still wouldn't move unless my partner was here.


So what is it exactly you would like you dog to do or stop doing? Stop pining for your oh? Stop following? Stop sleeping when he's not there? Play when you want him to play? Not to stand at the gate? Its quite a long list for one dog to stop but does all sound linked to a separation anxiety. The peeing on the floor especially. A dog behaviourist trainer might be able to help. The nipping is a problem to and needs to be addressed. Get a professional in. It will take hard work and time. But he may always still prefer your oh and follow him, which isn't the worst thing in the world. But some of the other items might need sorting.try to consider the end result you'd like. Is it too much to ask? A dog who doesn't show affection, doesn't sleep when he wants, and play when you want him to? I do understand te nipping is an issue tho so try o get advice on that


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Sounds like he is guarding and you will need to get help from someone who can advise how to address this. It cannot be ignored - and your husband needs to take it seriously. However, it can be addressed with the correct, calm, reward based training  

There will be some knowledgeable people along, no doubt, to offer advice.


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## Emma P (Sep 21, 2013)

Ok, more and more info keeps coming out. I agree with the last few posts, what exactly is it you would like help with? Although even if you told us I think the dog isn't the problem. If your OH doesn't want to change anything and won't change anything I don't think advice from us is going to help you. You can do everything to try and sort it but if your bloke isn't willing to change anything the dog will only become more confused. I can sense your frustration through your posts and I totally understand it. I would feel the same if my hubby refused to help but because I'm pretty much the boss when it comes to our dogs I don't have that problem. 

If you can just say exactly what you need advice on someone will have the answer for you. As far as I can see, nothing will help or work without your bloke's co-operation.


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## laydeeartois (Nov 1, 2013)

I just want advice on how to make my dog understand he can be normal even when my partner isn't here. Yous think im being horrible about my dog, when im actually doing this because I care, I don't like him standing at the gate etc cause I don't want him to feel he _needs_ to be with my partner 24/7 as my partner is only here on weekdays, which means the dog is sleeping on his cushion and not eating every weekend. I don't think its healthy hense why I want help with this. I don't actually have a problem with the dog following my partner about, I just don't think its healthy and surely im right about that?


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## bay20 (Aug 14, 2013)

laydeeartois said:


> I just want advice on how to make my dog understand he can be normal even when my partner isn't here. Yous think im being horrible about my dog, when im actually doing this because I care, I don't like him standing at the gate etc cause I don't want him to feel he _needs_ to be with my partner 24/7 as my partner is only here on weekdays, which means the dog is sleeping on his cushion and not eating every weekend. I don't think its healthy hense why I want help with this. I don't actually have a problem with the dog following my partner about, I just don't think its healthy and surely im right about that?


I see where your concerns are. I personally would work on building my own bond with your dog when your partner is actually there as well as when he's not so he can see how much fun you are to be around as well. Games and training. Maybe take him to a dog training class on the weekends when your oh is away on your own to help build that bond? And if he anxiety continues consider a behaviourist who can witness the behaviour first hand n offer help. Best of luck x


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## springerpete (Jun 24, 2010)

I hate to use the word 'love' in the context of my dogs relationship with Rose and myself, I'm not sure dogs see the world in quite the same way as we do, what I do know is that given the choice my lads would rather be with me. Not because they aren't bonded with my wife, they are, and she with them, to the point of spoiling them sometimes, they can get away with far more with her than they ever can with me. I'm much firmer with them which might, if you were the original poster, lead you to think that they'd rather be with her than me. This however, isn't the case, my lads would much rather be in my company, Why.? Because I'm the one that takes them out to work, I'm the one that tramps through muddy woods in all weathers, and I'm the one who often gets down on the floor and allows them to gently maul me about. In short, I'm the one who indulges them in doing all the things they enjoy above all else. Is my wife jealous of our relationship, not a bit of it, she understands, if she wants a cuddle ( Daft bugger,) she gets one, whether the dogs want to or not. ( Only joking,) I could be wrong, and I'm happy to be corrected on this, but I believe a dog, or dogs, associate people with certain aspects of their lives, Rose is usually the one who feeds them, she spends hours grooming them, ( A losing battle with Skye.) and is the one who is a little indulgent with them. You'd expect them to prefer her company than mine, not the case, as I said, they know full well that I'm the one that gives them the chance to do what is most important to them.
This may not make much sense to anyone but it's the way I see it.


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## Meezey (Jan 29, 2013)

Threads like these concern me because why is the major issue for hating the dog purely the fact the dog is bonded with OH,then when people see no issues with it suddenly the dog is a dog that shuts down and goes for children,I can hand on heart say if I thought there was any thruth in it, surely a Mothers FIRST concern would be her children? Then the fact the dog goes in to shut down and lastly the fact it follows her OH ....


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

laydeeartois said:


> He has never _bit my children, but he has went for them and nipped them whilst hes been lying down and my youngest has crawled over to him. He doesn't like people next to my partner, I think hes the one that's jealous...yous obviously think im the jealous one. *Seriously yous would have to be here 24/7 to truely understand the extent of it all*_


_

Because of this....



laydeeartois said:



*I just want advice on how to make my dog understand he can be normal even when my partner isn't here. *Yous think im being horrible about my dog, when im actually doing this because I care, I don't like him standing at the gate etc cause I don't want him to feel he needs to be with my partner 24/7 as my partner is only here on weekdays, which means the dog is sleeping on his cushion and not eating every weekend. I don't think its healthy hense why I want help with this. I don't actually have a problem with the dog following my partner about, I just don't think its healthy and surely im right about that?

Click to expand...

.... I recommend this

Welcome to APDT - Association of Pet Dog Trainers UK

You are correct, we don't know what it's like... we don't know what your children were doing when the dog nipped/bit whatever, what your partner is like... there are so many variables, you owe it to your dog to get a professional involved as I said a few pages back. Is there any reason why you wouldn't?_


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## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

laydeeartois said:


> I just want advice on how to make my dog understand he can be normal even when my partner isn't here. Yous think im being horrible about my dog, when im actually doing this because I care, I don't like him standing at the gate etc cause I don't want him to feel he _needs_ to be with my partner 24/7 as my partner is only here on weekdays, which means the dog is sleeping on his cushion and not eating every weekend. I don't think its healthy hense why I want help with this. I don't actually have a problem with the dog following my partner about, I just don't think its healthy and surely im right about that?


Get yourself a positive behaviourst that will come out to you for 1-1 training, there is nothing else anyone can advise as they haven't seen the dog..
Get someone in now, you need help with this and your OH needs to be on board to help this dog through his problems....

P.s your dog is normal.


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## pupster (Oct 12, 2013)

I do think the way you have posted on here makes you sound jealous of something that could be rectified quite easily if you participated more with your terrier ... some dogs bond better with humans and in your case it is your partner my advice would be to take on more of a role with the dog start training him with treats reinforcing what you would like him to do ...just telling him becomes boring and he will often pick up on your resentment towards him due to the factors you have already mentioned !
Become a fun mummy enjoy your dog there very special start reinforcing boundaries to get the results you want in around the kids etc if you want more info feel free to pm me and get advice from a qualified dog trainer/behaviourist all the best!


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## MerlinsMum (Aug 2, 2009)

StormyThai said:


> Get yourself a positive behaviourst that will come out to you for 1-1 training, there is nothing else anyone can advise as they haven't seen the dog..
> Get someone in now, you need help with this and your OH needs to be on board to help this dog through his problems....
> P.s your dog is normal.


Totally agree, and this is the place to start looking for someone to help - 
APBC Members by Region | Association of Pet Behaviour Counsellors

A behaviourist will help you better than a trainer in this instance.


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## BenBoy (Aug 31, 2013)

MerlinsMum said:


> Totally agree, and this is the place to start looking for someone to help -
> APBC Members by Region | Association of Pet Behaviour Counsellors
> 
> A behaviourist will help you better than a trainer in this instance.


Also, if you have insurance its worth asking if they would cover a behaviourist as mine did


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## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

Now that you post more it has become clear that the little dog does have a few problems, one being resource guarding you husband . It would really help you all if you could see a behaviourist who hopefully will be able to help you work through this problem. Because let's be honest the little dog isn't happy either ...

Wish you luck


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## Emma P (Sep 21, 2013)

What you need is far clearer now. Firstly, if the dog is guarding your OH and nipping you or your children, growling etc. when you go near him that has to be stopped immediately. You have to tell your bloke that this is absolutely unacceptable. I have had people tell me their dog growls when their OH gets into bed when the dog is on the bed. My answer?..... Get the dog off the bed!!! Any time a dog is possesive of a toy, a person, anything, that thing is to be removed. The idea being if they act possessive the thing they want most is taken away so they learn that possessive behaviour will not be tollerated. If your dog is around your OH and doesn't 'allow' you or your kids near him the dog should be removed. One of my boys can be possessive over toys when other dogs are around, my little terrier actually. Totally a terrier trait. If he gets that way the toy he wants so bad is taken off him. Eventually he has learned there's no point in doing that. I never shout and I certainly don't smack him, I calmly take the toy with no eye contact then I carry on with what I was doing. Simple. 
There are people who inadvertantly or on purpose make their dogs needy usually becuase they love the thought that their dog NEEDS to be with them and falls apart without them. Does your OH fall into that category? I really hope not. To keep a dog in a state such as this is cruel. It doesn't sound like he has seperation anxiety at all, nothing you have said screams anxiety problem to me. Apart from the not eating. If he is in such a state when your bloke isn't there that he won't eat there is something horribly wrong going on in this dogs head. Something that is going to end in the dog becoming very ill. 

One thing I need to know though, why is the dog on the other side of the gate when your bloke isn't there? He's left looking at you and your kids (his family) from a distance all the time your bloke isn't there? He gets no human contact? I just don't want to make any assumptions about your situation so I'd rather ask to make sure it's clear 

You obviously care about your dog, or you wouldn't be asking for help. I've seen people get rid of and ever have their dogs put down for way less. So you're not giving up and that's good.


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## laydeeartois (Nov 1, 2013)

*in reply to EMMA...* The dog chooses to stay on his cushion when my partner isn't here, that's what I said a few posts back. When my partner is here he stands at the gate staring at my partner, when my partner goes , he lies on the cushion and wont move until my partner returns. So he isn't looking at us from a distance, he doesn't look at us at all. My children play with him all the time, but hes not interested if my partner isn't here as all he wants to do is sleep until he gets home. This is the thing that worries me. 
And also, in reply to the other person, my kids ARE my main priority and the 'nipping' got nipped in the bud as soon as it started. 
Please try and understand, its only frustrating for me as I think its unhealthy for the dog. I do not in any way treat my dog badly, I feed and walk him everyday, I just feel so sad he feels he needs to sleep for 3 days a week none stop, apart from walks and getting fed.


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## MerlinsMum (Aug 2, 2009)

laydeeartois said:


> *in reply to EMMA...*
> And also, in reply to the other person, my kids ARE my main priority and the 'nipping' got nipped in the bud as soon as it started.


How did you deal with this? Just asking, as it may have a bearing on his general behaviour.


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## laydeeartois (Nov 1, 2013)

I didn't do much really, just sat my youngest next to him and told the dog it was ok whilst he stroked him etc. Took his bones away when he went for them while he was eating. He hasn't did it for a while now, so I think we got there in the end. 
Like I keep saying I only want what's best for him.  
May i ask also, when my partners in, the dog stares at me constantly :/ just lies there and stares at me....anyone know why? :/


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## laydeeartois (Nov 1, 2013)

May I also add, we haven't had him since he was a puppy. He is 2½ now and we got him when he was a year old, the girl that gave him to us had a 3yr old and a baby.


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## MerlinsMum (Aug 2, 2009)

laydeeartois said:


> I didn't do much really, just sat my youngest next to him and told the dog it was ok whilst he stroked him etc. Took his bones away when he went for them while he was eating. He hasn't did it for a while now, so I think we got there in the end.
> Like I keep saying I only want what's best for him.
> May i ask also, when my partners in, the dog stares at me constantly :/ just lies there and stares at me....anyone know why? :/


OK I can see a few pointers here. 
While it's good to reassure the dog it's ok when you have a child nearby, you'd need to have a good knowledge of canine body language to know if the dog was really comfortable. A better way might have been for the child to feed him some tasty treats,like chicken, cheese or ham, so the dog gets to associate the presence of the child with nice things happening.

Same with your interactions with him, dogs appreciate kindness, and special high-value treats given freely and without prejudice would certainly raise you in the dog's estimation of "Nice people to know".

When dogs have bones, or any other toy or treat that they will guard, they MUST be left alone. They are allowed to enjoy something that precious in private. They are also allowed to eat their own meals in private. If your dog is growling when he has a bone, or when eating his dinner, then let him have his privacy. Certainly do not allow children anywhere near the dog at those times.

There are ways to train dogs out of guarding their high-value toys, or their food bowls, but they do not include removing the bone or bowl... they focus instead on removing the reasons why the dog feels he has to guard - i.e. take away the people and he will be happy.

I was taught from a very young age (I was 6 when we had our first family dog) to NEVER go near the dog when it is eating, when it has a bone, or to disturb it when it is asleep. If your children are encroaching on these special times then I am not surprised the dog is reacting and nipping.

If you are worried about taking away something the dog may have stolen, then the approach to that is quite different to removing the dog's own possessions (his bone, his bowl, his space, his sleep). The latter are basic rights of any animal and human, and need to be respected.


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## moggiemum (Mar 28, 2013)

quote;
May i ask also, when my partners in, the dog stares at me constantly :/ just lies there and stares at me....anyone know why? :/



sorry i m not trying to make fun or light of the situation but you made me remember something and it made me smile.

i used to moan and whinge to my mum ," mum he keeps looking at me" - about my brother when we would fight and argue.

my mum used to calmly say back to me " well you must be looking at him to know that he's looking at you"

maybe your dog is only looking at you because you are looking at him?

best wishes edit; sorry i havent read all of the thread


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## Emma P (Sep 21, 2013)

MerlinsMum said:


> OK I can see a few pointers here.
> While it's good to reassure the dog it's ok when you have a child nearby, you'd need to have a good knowledge of canine body language to know if the dog was really comfortable. A better way might have been for the child to feed him some tasty treats,like chicken, cheese or ham, so the dog gets to associate the presence of the child with nice things happening.
> 
> Same with your interactions with him, dogs appreciate kindness, and special high-value treats given freely and without prejudice would certainly raise you in the dog's estimation of "Nice people to know".
> ...


I'd have to disagree with some of what's written here. A dog cannot be allowed to get their way when guarding food, toys or bones. Especially around children. I 100% agree that kids shouldn't be allowed to annoy the dog when they're eating, chewing their chew toys and certainly not when they're sleeping but to not do anything about the dog growling, bearing teeth or snapping when people are around 'his' things is only going to lead to trouble. 
I hate all this Ceasar Milan crap that says you have to dominate the dog with force, you absolutely don't. But you also can't allow a dog to think it rules the roost. The owner is the boss. By moving away from a dog standing over it's dinner growling and leaving him alone you're just saying "that's fine, we'll let you choose when we can come back into the room you're eating in". What's to say the dog won't start thinking the couch is his, or your bed is his or you are his and do the same thing? A growl is something that shouldn't be ignored, of course. That's what a growl is, a warning he might bite. If he has it in him to bite that is. If you find the dog is growling around his toys or food surely if he's in your home and your loyal pet you should hope he hasn't got it in him to bite and you can confidently and swiftly remove what he is becoming protective over to let him know that's not acceptable behaviour. If he has got it in him to bite, a professional is needed to sort that out.


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## Dogless (Feb 26, 2010)

Emma P said:


> I'd have to disagree with some of what's written here. A dog cannot be allowed to get their way when guarding food, toys or bones. Especially around children. I 100% agree that kids shouldn't be allowed to annoy the dog when they're eating, chewing their chew toys and certainly not when they're sleeping but to not do anything about the dog growling, bearing teeth or snapping when people are around 'his' things is only going to lead to trouble.
> I hate all this Ceasar Milan crap that says you have to dominate the dog with force, you absolutely don't. But you also can't allow a dog to think it rules the roost. The owner is the boss. By moving away from a dog standing over it's dinner growling and leaving him alone you're just saying "that's fine, we'll let you choose when we can come back into the room you're eating in". What's to say the dog won't start thinking the couch is his, or your bed is his or you are his and do the same thing? A growl is something that shouldn't be ignored, of course. That's what a growl is, a warning he might bite. If he has it in him to bite that is. If you find the dog is growling around his toys or food surely if he's in your home and your loyal pet you should hope he hasn't got it in him to bite and you can confidently and swiftly remove what he is becoming protective over to let him know that's not acceptable behaviour. If he has got it in him to bite, a professional is needed to sort that out.


But all dogs have it in them to bite, whether pets or otherwise. I think by the time a dog is actually growling it has gone too far *for that day* and you just need to leave it alone. As soon as you know there is a problem you can start to work on it in my mind - prevent things getting to the growling stage in the first place. For instance my youngest dog had a whirl at guarding the sofa from my eldest when he was about 4 or 5 months old. I just developed a routine of the youngest getting off the sofa and going into his crate whilst the eldest came in and got onto the sofa - the youngest could then come back onto the sofa if he wanted to. Now the youngest is fine to be on the sofa as the eldest gets on - he has stopped feeling the need to guard it. They have both also been taught to back off something and sit whilst the item is removed - before they have tried the strategy of RGing items from humans.


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## Jobeth (May 23, 2010)

I personally think if a dog is resource guarding his food from a person they have found out that people aren't trust worthy to have around their food and that trust needs to be restored. I've always hand fed and put food in to my dog's bowls when they were puppies. I've never taken things away and now if I do go near them when eating they aren't bothered as they know nothing bad will happen.


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## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

Emma P said:


> I'd have to disagree with some of what's written here. A dog cannot be allowed to get their way when guarding food, toys or bones. Especially around children. I 100% agree that kids shouldn't be allowed to annoy the dog when they're eating, chewing their chew toys and certainly not when they're sleeping but to not do anything about the dog growling, bearing teeth or snapping when people are around 'his' things is only going to lead to trouble.
> I hate all this Ceasar Milan crap that says you have to dominate the dog with force, you absolutely don't. But you also can't allow a dog to think it rules the roost. The owner is the boss. By moving away from a dog standing over it's dinner growling and leaving him alone you're just saying "that's fine, we'll let you choose when we can come back into the room you're eating in". What's to say the dog won't start thinking the couch is his, or your bed is his or you are his and do the same thing? A growl is something that shouldn't be ignored, of course. That's what a growl is, a warning he might bite. If he has it in him to bite that is. *If you find the dog is growling around his toys or food surely if he's in your home and your loyal pet you should hope he hasn't got it in him to bite and you can confidently and swiftly remove what he is becoming protective over to let him know that's not acceptable behaviour.* If he has got it in him to bite, a professional is needed to sort that out.


That is one of the quickest and best ways to up the anti with a resource guarder. The dog will not associate you taking a high value item off them as "Oh, ok, mummy says that is unacceptable I must not growl"......what it does say to the dog is "Huh? you gave that to me, that is very tasty so i must make sure that everyone knows it is mine" (cue you taking high resource item)....."WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT, that was mine, I told you that was mine"
In short, you are confirming to the dog that he does need to protect his "things" because who knows when it will be stolen from me..

How do you know if a dog has a "bite" in them until they actually bite? You don't, so why on earth would you push for a bite?

Think of it this way:
You are sat in a restaurant and you order your favorite meal. 
The waiter brings your meal over and places it in front of you.
You take a bite and maybe make some yummy noises and you remind your fellow restaurant goers to leave your food alone as it is nice and you want it..

The waiter misinterprets what you are doing and finds it unacceptable to takes your dinner away from you there and then.

Now what?
Well most logical people would go batty, some may use a fork to try to stop the waiter, some may just plainly punch the waiter out...

Do you see where I am going with this?

The OP's dog has already nipped, why push things so the dog feels the need to escalate things to be heard..
No one (well I most certainly am not) is saying you should ignore anything, but how you have advised to fix things could spell disaster for all involved.

The first and foremost thing the OP should do is find a behaviourist that can help her and her dog to bond and can help guide them in the right direction with SA, resource guarding or whatever this may be.

I'm hoping the OP has taken that on board, although anyone that has mentioned this has been ignored so who knows....


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

laydeeartois said:


> I didn't do much really, just sat my youngest next to him and told the dog it was ok whilst he stroked him etc. Took his bones away when he went for them while he was eating. He hasn't did it for a while now, so I think we got there in the end.
> Like I keep saying I only want what's best for him.
> May i ask also, when my partners in, the dog stares at me constantly :/ just lies there and stares at me....anyone know why? :/


Dogs tend to stare at you a lot when they are insecure and want to know your every move. It usually happens in dogs who are new to your home and unsure of whether they are going to be staying or not.



Emma P said:


> I'd have to disagree with some of what's written here. A dog cannot be allowed to get their way when guarding food, toys or bones. Especially around children. I 100% agree that kids shouldn't be allowed to annoy the dog when they're eating, chewing their chew toys and certainly not when they're sleeping but to not do anything about the dog growling, bearing teeth or snapping when people are around 'his' things is only going to lead to trouble.
> I hate all this Ceasar Milan crap that says you have to dominate the dog with force, you absolutely don't. But you also can't allow a dog to think it rules the roost. The owner is the boss. By moving away from a dog standing over it's dinner growling and leaving him alone you're just saying "that's fine, we'll let you choose when we can come back into the room you're eating in". What's to say the dog won't start thinking the couch is his, or your bed is his or you are his and do the same thing? A growl is something that shouldn't be ignored, of course. That's what a growl is, a warning he might bite. If he has it in him to bite that is. If you find the dog is growling around his toys or food surely if he's in your home and your loyal pet you should hope he hasn't got it in him to bite and you can confidently and swiftly remove what he is becoming protective over to let him know that's not acceptable behaviour. If he has got it in him to bite, a professional is needed to sort that out.


If a dog does not like people around his food, the best thing is to leave him and his food alone. I do not agree with taking anything away from a dog that belongs to the dog, especially food. I grew up around big dogs and we were always taught that if you go near the dog when he is eating and get bitten, then that is your own silly fault.



StormyThai said:


> That is one of the quickest and best ways to up the anti with a resource guarder. The dog will not associate you taking a high value item off them as "Oh, ok, mummy says that is unacceptable I must not growl"......what it does say to the dog is "Huh? you gave that to me, that is very tasty so i must make sure that everyone knows it is mine" (cue you taking high resource item)....."WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT, that was mine, I told you that was mine"
> In short, you are confirming to the dog that he does need to protect his "things" because who knows when it will be stolen from me..
> 
> How do you know if a dog has a "bite" in them until they actually bite? You don't, so why on earth would you push for a bite?
> ...


I agree 100% but - I am not going to lunch with you:yikes:


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## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> I agree 100% but - I am not going to lunch with you:yikes:


I'm feisty, so I have been told


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## Emma P (Sep 21, 2013)

I see some people disagree with how I believe dogs guarding things should be dealt with, that's cool that's what forums are for. I totally see the point that you wouldn't want to push for a bite. There are different kinds of biting though. There's the standing their ground, full eye contact, properly viscious biters that really mean business and can do a lot of damage and there's the frightened, no eye contact, snap then immediately back off biters who know that was probably the wrong thing to do. Yeah all dogs have it in them to bite BUT if it is your dog you have to trust them enough to know they wouldn't resort to that, no matter what. Especially if there are small children around. I would hope that if you thought your dog was likely to bite in any situation other than injury (some badly injured dogs do lash out at those trying to help) you would do something about it way before a bite happened. I'm can only talk from my expreience having had a very possessive dog in the past. She was my first dog, a family dog, and everything was fine until she sustained an injury on a walk where here head must have gotten a huge bang. There were no broken bones so we could only assume it did something to her head. She became possessive of her bed and growled whenever anyone went past. We did what you suggest to do and we let her be. She started to do the same with her bowl. She then started to do it when we played with her. Every time we would stop what she didn't want us to do. She then did it when we sat on the couch and finally she did it when she lay on our beds. By this point we didn't trust her at all not to bite, we knew she would resort to that and one day she did. Thing is, it was my little sister who was 11 at the time that she let rip on. She had sat on her bed while the dog was there and she repeatedly bit her over and over. I don't believe a warning growl even happened that time. Dogs that don't growl before a bite are the most dangerous ones. It was a horrible experience to go through and my parents made the descision to have our dog PTS. By this point no training would have helped as she was a very dangerous dog. This was way back when I was 13 (I'm 28 now) so things were different back then and obviously I know now that something should have been done way before the bite happened. So that's why I think letting the dog havie it's way when it growls can escalate to something really scary. 
Everyone has their own opinion though and not all methods work for every dog and if the methods you believe in work then who am I to say you're wrong??  I don't have the right to do that and I'm sorry to Merlin's Mum if that's how I came across. Don't want to piss anyone off  
Anyway, we haven't heard from the lass that put this up for a while to see if she's going to take any of the advice given..... I hope she does.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Emma P said:


> I see some people disagree with how I believe dogs guarding things should be dealt with, that's cool that's what forums are for. I totally see the point that you wouldn't want to push for a bite. There are different kinds of biting though. There's the standing their ground, full eye contact, properly viscious biters that really mean business and can do a lot of damage and there's the frightened, no eye contact, snap then immediately back off biters who know that was probably the wrong thing to do. Yeah all dogs have it in them to bite BUT if it is your dog you have to trust them enough to know they wouldn't resort to that, no matter what. Especially if there are small children around. I would hope that if you thought your dog was likely to bite in any situation other than injury (some badly injured dogs do lash out at those trying to help) you would do something about it way before a bite happened. I'm can only talk from my expreience having had a very possessive dog in the past. She was my first dog, a family dog, and everything was fine until she sustained an injury on a walk where here head must have gotten a huge bang. There were no broken bones so we could only assume it did something to her head. She became possessive of her bed and growled whenever anyone went past. We did what you suggest to do and we let her be. She started to do the same with her bowl. She then started to do it when we played with her. Every time we would stop what she didn't want us to do. She then did it when we sat on the couch and finally she did it when she lay on our beds. By this point we didn't trust her at all not to bite, we knew she would resort to that and one day she did. Thing is, it was my little sister who was 11 at the time that she let rip on. She had sat on her bed while the dog was there and she repeatedly bit her over and over. I don't believe a warning growl even happened that time. Dogs that don't growl before a bite are the most dangerous ones. It was a horrible experience to go through and my parents made the descision to have our dog PTS. By this point no training would have helped as she was a very dangerous dog. This was way back when I was 13 (I'm 28 now) so things were different back then and obviously I know now that something should have been done way before the bite happened. So that's why I think letting the dog havie it's way when it growls can escalate to something really scary.
> Everyone has their own opinion though and not all methods work for every dog and if the methods you believe in work then who am I to say you're wrong??  I don't have the right to do that and I'm sorry to Merlin's Mum if that's how I came across. Don't want to piss anyone off
> Anyway, we haven't heard from the lass that put this up for a while to see if she's going to take any of the advice given..... I hope she does.


I am sorry for the loss of your dog, but it was obviously in some sort of pain or had some sort of brain damage. Had a dog of mine suddenly started guarding, or behaving any differently to normal, after an injury he would have been taken straight to a vet and diagnosed with whatever was causing the problem as it is obvious to me that it was a medical problem, not a behavioural one. That is a totally different scenario. In my thirty years experience as a dog owner, I have found that a resource guarder is usually one who has either had to fight for every moutful among his litter or has had his food taken away at some point.


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## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

Ummm, I didn't say you should let the dog be when resource guarding is apparent, what I said is taking the item away that the dog is resource guarding is just confirming that the dog needs to be protective.

There are much better and safer ways of dealing with resource guarding...

But my main point is, not one of us have seen this dog and how they act, so none of us can tell what is actually going on. Yes it sounds like resource guarding, doesn't mean that it actually is...

Which is why only a behaviourist should advise after seeing the dog for themselves.


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## Emma P (Sep 21, 2013)

My dog was taken to the vet multiple times and the vet could never find anything physical that would be causing her behaviour... It was a long time ago and the technology available back then for scanning etc. wasn't as advanced as it is now. 
Thank you for the symapthy though 

This thread isn't about me though, I hope the lass contacts a reputable behaviourist and gets her pooch sorted. 

The staring thing is a little un-nerving and the whole idea of how the dog is behaving when your OH isn't there is really worrying. 

I think everyone on here has pointed to behaviourists in this situation and that will be your best bet. Trying to get him to interact with you and your kids with toys and attention seems not to be working at all. A professional will be able to tell you what to try next. There's a vast amount of info on the internet and in books so finding someone who has or is going through the same thing could also help.


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## laydeeartois (Nov 1, 2013)

*sorry haven't been able to get online...* Thanks to everyone for their advice I have been looking up dog behaviourists and hopefully will find a suitable one to help. I have been showing the dog more attention and even been leaving the gate open so he can come in if he chooses...he still hasn't changed though. He still chooses just to lie on his pillow when oh is out and follow my oh around when hes here.
Hopefully il get in contact with a behaviourist asap. Thanks again for all your advice. I would like you to know I've taken it all on board.


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## chichi (Apr 22, 2012)

laydeeartois said:


> *sorry haven't been able to get online...* Thanks to everyone for their advice I have been looking up dog behaviourists and hopefully will find a suitable one to help. I have been showing the dog more attention and even been leaving the gate open so he can come in if he chooses...he still hasn't changed though. He still chooses just to lie on his pillow when oh is out and follow my oh around when hes here.
> Hopefully il get in contact with a behaviourist asap. Thanks again for all your advice. I would like you to know I've taken it all on board.


I suppose old habits take a time to sort with him still following your OH etc but you sound positive as to getting the dog the help he needs...so best of luck with him.


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## bay20 (Aug 14, 2013)

laydeeartois said:


> *sorry haven't been able to get online...* Thanks to everyone for their advice I have been looking up dog behaviourists and hopefully will find a suitable one to help. I have been showing the dog more attention and even been leaving the gate open so he can come in if he chooses...he still hasn't changed though. He still chooses just to lie on his pillow when oh is out and follow my oh around when hes here.
> Hopefully il get in contact with a behaviourist asap. Thanks again for all your advice. I would like you to know I've taken it all on board.


Great to hear you've taken the first steps to helping your dog. It will take time (weeks or maybe months) and patience but you'll get there.the behaviourist will help for sure. Keepus updated


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