# Struggling to cope with new puppy?



## Kirstychilds (Nov 13, 2012)

I got a 10 week old chihuahua puppy, he's absolutely adorable but I get really stressed out with his crying and having to take care of him. He's really well looked after but I've spent literally every waking moment with him for the past 4 days. I feel like I don't have a life anymore, and it's really upsetting me. 

I hate the idea of having to give him up, it makes me so upset but I feel like feeling this way is ruining my health. I feel like I can't relax. 

Has anyone else felt like this in the beginning?


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## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

Absolutely, Try not to worry the first few weeks are a real struggle and there will be times when you feel like you have made a mistake. Trust me though my Bubba is 11 months now and all the hard work really does pay off i promise. Id be lost without hime now. With the crying im not going to be much help im affraid as Bubba only cried for the first 2 nights we just ignored him as horrible as that sounds it did work. We got him a cuddly toy about his size which to this day he still cuddles up to. 
I really hope things work out for you and there is light at the end of the tunnel.


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## LouLatch (Jul 2, 2012)

It is really hard to start with, all ive ever wanted is a puppy and then a couple weeks after i got my cocker i wished he was grown up.
Like button50 said its so worth it! 
As for the crying try giving him a toys to cuddle up to so he thinks hes with his mum and litter mates, you could also try a warm hot water bottle wraped in a few blankets this will also make him think hes with with his litter mates as it will represent their body heat. Make sure it is wraped up in blankets so not to burn him.

Please stick with him, he will love you for it!


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## Guest (Nov 13, 2012)

Hang in there. The first few weeks are hard. My boy is 3 months old, had him 3 weeks and the worst thin was accidents indoors but getting good at going outside. The first 2 wek it was hard but it got better, stick with it and you'll start finding it easier with your pup.


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## BabyBlu (Nov 8, 2012)

Tell me about it! Im in the same boat! Im not thinking about giving her up but, boy, it is a challenge.
I've got an 11.5 week staffie and she has been with me 9 days. Her sense of humour already is hilarious which totally makes up for everything.
Like you though, I imagined that a puppy would take up a lot of time but I didn't realise she would take up ALL my time. It is like having a baby... and i've never had one! 
I think the crying when I am even just a little bit away is the worst.
Today was a good day, she only wee'd outside and she was so happy and playful. Even when I went out for 4 hours to get my computer fixed she was so happy and up for a game, instead of being so so over worried about my absence and stressed looking.
don't cave in at night. She is sleeping in the kitchen and each night is getting better. We are not letting her in the bedroom and I am glad as I do need a bit of private time and space and I am hoping she will be the better for it too.
Feel free to pm me if you need support
x


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## BabyBlu (Nov 8, 2012)

Oh and I got one of those cuddly toys that you can heat up in the microwave, lavender scented, she loves lavender, I put that in her bed at night


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## Achoo (Nov 8, 2012)

You didn't think about this before you got the dog?

Crate train him, at least that way you will get a solid few hours rest. 
Pandering to his incessant needs at this age will give you the perfect case for a severely neurotic dog. So please grin and bare it until he can crate trained or...do it now.


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## Achoo (Nov 8, 2012)

BabyBlu said:


> Oh and I got one of those cuddly toys that you can heat up in the microwave, lavender scented, she loves lavender, I put that in her bed at night


Wow. Whoever invented that is laughing all the way to the bank. Did it work? Of course not. Dogs don't cuddle down with a hot water bottle. Especially not 10 week old dogs. They need far, far more than that. They are not little babies.


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## PennyGC (Sep 24, 2011)

ok you've brought a baby into your home (your choice) and you're surprised the baby is taking up your time? sorry, but what did you expect?

puppy days don't last forever, you can train your pup now to be more independent and soon you'll be wanting a pup again.... have a read of Gwen Bailey's 'The Perfect Puppy' to see what you can do and how your pup should be developing...


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## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

Kirstychilds said:


> I got a 10 week old chihuahua puppy, he's absolutely adorable but I get really stressed out with his crying and having to take care of him. He's really well looked after but I've spent literally every waking moment with him for the past 4 days. I feel like I don't have a life anymore, and it's really upsetting me.
> 
> I hate the idea of having to give him up, it makes me so upset but I feel like feeling this way is ruining my health. I feel like I can't relax.
> 
> Has anyone else felt like this in the beginning?


Its still early days yet, they do get stressed when leaving mum and litter mates and relocating. Having him have constant access although may quieten him isnt the answer though as they can become over dependant and then cant cope at all on their own.

Old tricks that often work, is leaving them with an old t-shirt or jumper you have worn as having your smell can re-assure them, also leaving an large stuffed toy with them too can help, as in the litter they sleep touching and often atop of each other so it gives them something to cuddle up too. Leaving them with a radio on turned down low on a talking station can help too. Dog appeasing pheromone diffusers can also help puppies settle, I still use them for fireworks and times of stress and find that they help a lot.
Adaptil helps dogs and puppys learn settle travel and in kennels

You need to start leaving him for short sessions while you are in and gradually build the time up. Baby or dog control gates on the room where he is left can help rather then closing a solid wood door on them, as they tend to panic and feel more isolated. After a play session when he is likely to have gotten rid of excess energy, and be tired and more easy to settle, just pop him in his bed in a separate room, and just leave him. Leaving with a kong or a treat toy with food from his allowance or something to chew often helps too. You need to walk away with no fuss. At first return before he gets stressed and vocal, just let him out ignore him for a minute or two, then call him to you and lots of praise and fuss. You then need to as he copes build the time up. If you establish a routine several times aday and then keep that routine when you do go out he should settle eventually.

If you are going to consider crate training, then they need to be intoriduced and trained to it. Done wrongly they can get stressed and wont settle.


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## Shadowrat (Jan 30, 2011)

Achoo said:


> You didn't think about this before you got the dog?


I researched, for about 10 years, I knew how to crate train, how to toilet train, I knew about the biting, the wreckage, and I knew a pup would be hard work, but even I wasn't prepared for _how much_ work. Just because someone is shell shocked in those first few puppy days, it doesn't mean they didn't think about it. Its something you can't truly know until it happens. I think everyone is a bit shocked and exhausted at first, the phrase 'puppy blues' exists for a reason.
I certainly had it. I'd wanted a dog since I was 16 or so, and a dobe specifically from about 20, and didn't get Dres til I was 30, so thats 10 years I swotted up on everything puppy.
But it was still surprising just how much he took over my life.

I never, ever for a second considered giving him up, though, as once an animal comes here, it is family and we don't give up. 
But I certainly had a few 'what have I done?' moments.
Even now, with dres at 10 months, I have periods of thinking I can't cope. 
But I persevere, and he is slowly becoming easier, and obviously, I love him to death.
But even that took time. I'd say that while I had a fondness for him and cared a lot about him, I didn't truly LOVE him or have a strong bond until he was about 6 months. At times, I wondered if I'd ever actually feel a bond with him in the way I do with my rats. 
It just took time, was all, but I felt ashamed at first for not instantly bonding strongly with him, as I always do with new rats.
But now.....I wouldn't be without him.

But yes, while I get your point that people shouldn't rush in and expect a puppy to be easy, I also understand that with all the research and readiness in the world they can sometimes be a shock to the system.

There is no shame in admitting you're stressed or depressed about a new pup, none at all. Most of us have been through that.


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## Sarah1230 (Jun 12, 2012)

Give it chance , I have had my newfie puppy 7 weeks now, and at first I was so stressed thought I had made the wrong choice, even broke down in tears haha and my parents were even going to ring the breeder to find him a new home, (so glad we didn't) but It gets easier, and when he is grown up it will be soo worth it! I also have ocd, it made things alot worse for me, I didn't think it would because I had a rescue dog and I was fine, but this time I guess he is a puppy, puppies have accidents inside ect.. but even with that Things have got better, so stick with it. It will get better, puppies are just hard work but they are not puppies forever so try and enjoy it, maybe someone could help you out a bit a couple of times a week or something so you can have a bit of time to yourself?  My pup cried for the first week or so, but we gave him a massive teddy about his size and that really helped plus a shirt or something that has your scent on it! Alot of people struggle for the first couple of weeks or soo. You will be fine


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## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

PennyGC said:


> ok you've brought a baby into your home (your choice) and you're surprised the baby is taking up your time? sorry, but what did you expect?
> 
> I really dont think anyone expects or realises until they have one how tough it is having a puppy. But by people giving support and reasurance does make you feel like their is light at the end of the tunnel. Advice is better than criticism which i believe is what the member needs right now!!


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## BabyBlu (Nov 8, 2012)

Achoo said:


> Wow. Whoever invented that is laughing all the way to the bank. Did it work? Of course not. Dogs don't cuddle down with a hot water bottle. Especially not 10 week old dogs. They need far, far more than that. They are not little babies.


don't be so rude! How dare you! I do not think my dog is a baby. I read in a dog book that pups like something warm in their bed as it replicates their mum and siblings. When I take her in the garden she goes crazy for the lavender hedge.
It is my lavender microwave thing for my neck. I put in in her bed and she likes it. Our vet actually sells something similar for dogs
ignoramus !!!!!


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## BabyBlu (Nov 8, 2012)

and if you see my posts you will see i am doin g all I can as recommended by several books and my vet


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## PennyGC (Sep 24, 2011)

a bit of 'realism' or 'shake up' is also needed... plenty of tea and sympathy from others... what's also needed is for someone to say 'get a grip' in a nice way....


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## BabyBlu (Nov 8, 2012)

This is not my thread, and it is fine to say 'get a grip' in a nice way but it is insulting to say that I think my dog is a baby and that it takes a lot more than a hot water bottle to rear a pup.
Really??!!! 
I thought you just bought one and left it to manage by itself!! 
Seriously, it can be overwhelming. People have come to this forum for support and help BECAUSE they care about their pets and they need help and advice, not insults.
I am 48. I have wanted a dog since I was 20 but I was wise enough to know that it would be selfish of me as I did not have the right lifestyle. Last year I left my work to start my own business and for the first year I seriously contemplated buying a dog, or getting a rescue dog, but I held out incase for some reason my new business did not work out and I needed to go back to work. A year later and my own business still going well I started to think very seriously about it. I did a lot of research, looked at my lifestyle. At 48 I am no longer going out every night. I don't have children due to health issues in the past so I thought I had a lot to offer a dog and a lot of love to give. I went down the rescue dog path but I was concerned about getting a staffie who may not be very well socialised and be too much to handle in London parks around other dogs, especially for a first time owner so I bought one from a kennel club breeder with the view that I would be able to spend a lot of time socialising her.
I read up on the breed beforehand, considered other breeds, but I love staffies so that was the choice I made.
I bought a baby gate and a pen, baskets, everything really. I have been overwhelmed as it is upsetting when the pup cries all night - you feel you are doing something wrong despite following all the advice to the letter.
I have been at home solidly for 2 weeks now and there are moments when you feel for your own sanity! I need some socialisation myself!
My girl Edie IS settling in. She is happy, playful, exuberant and loving all day.
She has learnt 4 commands already with clicker training. Tonight we are going to a puppy socialisation class.
I was prepared for it to be hard at first. But to be honest all the books and websites in the world don't prepare you for how tough it will be.
I have no intention of giving up, she is a puppy and I treat her as one. She is not my baby, but she is my puppy that I love. I feel an enormous responsibility for her welfare. 
I am walking the line every moment between giving her too much attention and not enough; letting her have her independence and keeping my eye on her; disciplining her without anger; loving her without mollycoddling her; letting her be a dog whilst realising she is still a puppy.

Mean replies are totally unneccessary


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## LauraJane9 (Oct 3, 2012)

BabyBlu said:


> This is not my thread, and it is fine to say 'get a grip' in a nice way but it is insulting to say that I think my dog is a baby and that it takes a lot more than a hot water bottle to rear a pup.
> Really??!!!
> I thought you just bought one and left it to manage by itself!!
> Seriously, it can be overwhelming. People have come to this forum for support and help BECAUSE they care about their pets and they need help and advice, not insults.
> ...


It sounds to me as though you are doing great, I am in the same boat and I think the worst part is always wondering if your doing things right, I'm calmer with this puppy because it's my second but I still worry and second guess myself but that's ok because if I wasn't I'm sure that would mean I was doing it wrong!

To the OP, hang in there, there is great advice on this forum (just ignore the negative nellys), a crying puppy is horrible but just realise that by teaching them some independence now you are setting them up for a happier healthier life down the road.


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## Skoust (Feb 12, 2012)

Ohh I can totally relate! There have been a couple of times where I've wondered whether I knew exactly what I was getting in to despite all of the research  

As others have said, hang in there. It will get better! If you don't have one already, I would recommend a play pen of some sort so that you can leave your pup for short periods and not worry about them getting hurt or causing havoc.


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## ClaireandDaisy (Jul 4, 2010)

It gets better. Then it gets worse when they hit teenage. Then it gets better again. Then they get old and break your heart. 
Dogs are not disposable. This is your responsibility and you need to rise to the challenge.


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## PennyGC (Sep 24, 2011)

young of any species are 'babies' I certainly wouldn't think of ANY pup & compare to a human! Lol, what a thought!

All 'babies' need time and imput, pointing this out isn't 'mean' but is something which should be considered when you take on any young creature.

My first dog after many many years of waiting, hoping and researching was a 5 year old - I was at work and didn't have the time for a pup, but gave a home to a needy dog. My next was a pup and I was very lucky, still a lot of effort but she was a very good pup... I've had others who weren't, but I was expecting a 'baby' to act like one and need a lot of time and input.

It's hopeless if all the comments are the same, I haven't been mean, just pointing out the obvious.... pups can be hard work, keep us up many nights etc etc I hope you found the book I suggested useful.


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## Shadowrat (Jan 30, 2011)

PennyGC said:


> young of any species are 'babies' I certainly wouldn't think of ANY pup & compare to a human! Lol, what a thought!


I dunno, there are definitely a lot of similarities. Like having to get up many times a night, (sometimes I had to sit up and wait for Dres to settle back down before I went back to bed, then I'd be up 30 minutes later) the having to plan your life around whether you can get someone to look after them for you if you have to go out, having to plan your 'me time' around when they're asleep, having to teach them how to behave in public, having to endure tantrums when they can't get their way, having to 'secure' your home of any tiny thing that could be grabbed and put in a mouth, and so on.


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## Bagrat (Jun 4, 2012)

On the subject of warmth for pups. In the 50's - yes I know I'm old, my Mum and Dad got me a pup. I don't remember any books on how to bring up a dog but I know we had a stone hot water bottle which no longer graced my bed but was wrapped up in a blanket to go in the pup's basket by my Dad.


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## Buzzard (Aug 10, 2012)

I think it's very early days to be struggling with the demands of a puppy. Our pup is 6 months old, and still takes up lots of time, oodles of patience and wakes up early to boot. But he is our baby and we adore him. I know it will get better, just like the sleepless nights and fussy eating my children gave me!


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## BabyBlu (Nov 8, 2012)

As a newbie myself I think it's just the shock of the new and the fear you are not doing things right despite all the research. I don't mind putting in the hours. One needs to acclimatise so I think its ok to be freaked out to start with, we will find a rhythmn and work with it and when strong bonds are made they cant be broken easily
:001_wub:


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## Dot (Jun 23, 2010)

Bagrat said:


> On the subject of warmth for pups. In the 50's - yes I know I'm old, my Mum and Dad got me a pup. I don't remember any books on how to bring up a dog but I know we had a stone hot water bottle which no longer graced my bed but was wrapped up in a blanket to go in the pup's basket by my Dad.


My choc lab, sadly no longer here, loved a wrapped hot water bottle at night when he was a puppy. Went out like a light!


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## kellyamina (Nov 9, 2012)

Stick with it, it will get easier very soon!
I havent had a puppy for 8 years now, and Id forgotten what hard work it is when I got Ralph 4 weeks ago...that and I think as Ive got older it feels harder! Hes just turned 14 weeks now and Im sure all of a sudden hes either become much easier or Ive got used to it.....and life is becoming 'normal' again.
I now just need to sleep for a week to catch up!


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## kellyamina (Nov 9, 2012)

Also, I agree with those who say he needs to become more independent.
Get a cage if you havent got one already, and leave him in it for an hour here n there, if he whines walk away and ignore him till he gets used to it.


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## BabyBlu (Nov 8, 2012)

Thank you!!!
My Edie loves her hot water bottle. Actually it is a long 'Bagpuss' cat that goes around my neck for migraines, filled with lavender and grains that get nice and warm when you microwave them, but not dangerously hot.
I KNOW she loves it as she stole it from the sofa when I had got up to make a cup of tea and dragged it into her bed!!
So cute, I let her have it. So now our evening routine is me putting on radio 4 and heating bag puss in the microwave, getting her kong from the freezer, making sure there are no tea towels to destroy!


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## BabyBlu (Nov 8, 2012)

PennyGC said:


> young of any species are 'babies' I certainly wouldn't think of ANY pup & compare to a human! Lol, what a thought!
> 
> All 'babies' need time and imput, pointing this out isn't 'mean' but is something which should be considered when you take on any young creature.
> 
> ...


It wasn't your post that got my back up. I didn't think you were mean. It was another poster. And definitely lots of different advice is needed. 
:001_wub::001_wub:


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## Frankthewonderhound (Aug 7, 2012)

Try and remember, it's a dog at the end of the day, NOT a baby that you would never imagine leaving alone for one second at that age, he/she will be fine, yes your pup will fret, whine etc if you are not around should you slope off for a power hour (this is me assuming you are going to crate train the dog, something I cant recommend highly enough) and when you come back all is well again, your dog_ needs _to gain some independance for the times that come when you simply cannot be there, there's a rule in my house:

''The world still revolves around humans, not the dog''

us not living with this mantra would make sure our little ball of fluff had us right where he wanted us...right by his side 24/7 which unfortunately for the dog isn't feasible, it's a dog....remember that.


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## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

Regarding the hot water bottle being stupid...









That was guaranteed to make him sleep everytime.


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## BabyBlu (Nov 8, 2012)

omg so cute!!


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## sillysausagedog (Nov 5, 2012)

No matter how prepared you are, the sleep deprivation (if you get up in the night with your pup) is an absolute killer. Everything seems impossible when you're trying to function on 4 hours of broken sleep!

After a week my pup started to sleep midnight-6am, and I can't tell you how much easier it made everything. Hang in there.


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## ElvieMogs (Mar 22, 2012)

The OP is obviously really interested in our advice. She hasn't been on since her one and only post to start this thread it p*****s me off when people post a question then disappear!


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## BabyBlu (Nov 8, 2012)

Hmmn. It would be nice to know how she is getting on...


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## Sarah1983 (Nov 2, 2011)

ElvieMogs said:


> The OP is obviously really interested in our advice. She hasn't been on since her one and only post to start this thread it p*****s me off when people post a question then disappear!


I always look at it a different way. The OP may not have been back but chances are there are plenty of others having the same problem who find the advice useful even if they've never posted and never do.


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