# I still cry about the death of my cat 14 years ago



## Damaris (Jul 10, 2019)

I got my first cat 'Spikkel' (dots in Dutch) when I was just a toddler. When my parents divorced, Spikkel and I went to live with my mum in London and I visited my dad in the Netherlands every other weekend. One time after spending a weekend with my dad, I missed Spikkel more than usual. I remember I bought him a teddybear and while in the train back home my sister and I couldn't stop talking about how badly we wanted to see Spikkel again. However, once we arrived home my mum immediately told us to sit on the couch before we were able to run to him and she told us that Spikkel fell out of the window (we lived on the 8th floor) and died.... We immediately fell to our knees crying. Although it now sounds awfully lugubrious, she had put his body in the freezer in order for us to still have a chance to say goodbye before he was cremated. (I am so happy my mum did that as it allowed me to hug him one last time) I still remember it so clearly how he looked.. blood had come out of his nose but for the rest he looked like he was sleeping. I prayed to God to bring him back to life because I could not live without my friend and I remember my tears falling on his little face. When we brought him to the crematorium, I cut some of his hairs to save and keep close to me but I still feel guilty for having done that. I felt disturbed at the sight of the bald patch on his stomach - as if I had ruined his peace. He was 8 years old but the move from the countryside to a life inside a city apartment was literally killing him... 

This happened more than 14 years ago and I am now an adult woman but I still cry about it...... 

I am so happy to have found this forum and community of people who are going through similar emotions due to the loss of their beloved pet and to be able to talk about it without shame or fear of people thinking that I have gone absolutely mad for still mourning the death of a cat 14 years ago.


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## hypercat54 (Jul 10, 2019)

Hi I understand. What a terrible thing to happen to your lovely cat and how devastated as a child you must have been. Don't worry about crying for him as I still do occasionally after my first cat died in 1989. She was only 9 and my perfect pet. I still feel guilty as I was very busy at the time and didn't pay her enough attention when she was ill. It turned out she had lung cancer which was awful. 

I don't care much about people but I want to spend eternity with all my beloved pets, and I am sure they are currently having a wonderful time in Rainbow Bridge. x


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## Damaris (Jul 10, 2019)

hypercat54 said:


> Hi I understand. What a terrible thing to happen to your lovely cat and how devastated as a child you must have been. Don't worry about crying for him as I still do occasionally after my first cat died in 1989. She was only 9 and my perfect pet. I still feel guilty as I was very busy at the time and didn't pay her enough attention when she was ill. It turned out she had lung cancer which was awful.
> 
> I don't care much about people but I want to spend eternity with all my beloved pets, and I am sure they are currently having a wonderful time in Rainbow Bridge. x


Thank you. I am sorry to hear about how your first cat passed. Despite what happened, I am sure she loved you very very much and if she could come back and choose her own owner, she would choose you again.

Like you, my empathy for people in general has quite some limits but I have an infinite source for animals of all kinds. They are so pure and love unconditionally. I am actually considering quitting my job in order to work with animals instead for this exact reason.


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## Jackie C (Feb 16, 2016)

Pets aren't_ just_ pets, they are our friends and companions and part of the family. We therefore grieve for them in a very similar way. x


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## Mrs Brown (Jun 26, 2019)

Damaris I will do just one thing after reading your very sad story.

Send you some of these. So glad you found this forum as I did recently as it has been such a great support to me and of course everyone else here. Please continue to share anything you want to talk about. x


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## Damaris (Jul 10, 2019)

Jackie C said:


> Pets aren't_ just_ pets, they are our friends and companions and part of the family. We therefore grieve for them in a very similar way. x


You are completely right Jackie! They are family and so we mourn them like it. However, many people in my environment don't see pets as members of the family and therefore just don't understand my emotions or even how I treat my current cat.. I am luckily to have a very understanding mum and sister but other than that I am pretty much alone. So I am very happy to meet more likeminded people here on this forum!


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## Damaris (Jul 10, 2019)

Mrs Brown said:


> Damaris I will do just one thing after reading your very sad story.
> 
> Send you some of these. So glad you found this forum as I did recently as it has been such a great support to me and of course everyone else here. Please continue to share anything you want to talk about. x


Thank you or the love Mrs Brown


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