# Really need some horse advice (sensitive subject)...



## Born2BWild (Jun 6, 2012)

Hi all...

Please be gentle/kind!

A little history on my horse...

I have a 15hh Welsh D mare who is 20-22 years old.

I first started working with her when she was 13/14 and took her on fully when she was 14/15 (approx).

She was rideable (just - quite a nutter!) but then was early retired due to intermittent lameness when ridden.

I then loaned/rehomed as a companion on the condition I would always get her back should her new carer/owner not be able to look after her when she was around 16. 

I got told in 2011 she had been put down due to colic then in May 2012 found out she was alive when a potential buyer of hers tracked me in the passport for history.

I had to pay a dealer to get her back and had found out she had been from home to home - one only lasting 24 hours.

She has always been quite a bolshy mare, I had her on her own for a while which she didn't cope with at all, went absolutely crazy!

She has now been in private paddocks with another horse since January this year...they both LOVE eachother and they never part. If separated they break through fences to get to eachother!

However, the other horse is 30-32 and is suffering with her age...huge loss of condition and weight, on a lot of food just to keep her going and her owner and I are expecting the time to be near.

Now, the advice I need...

I really don't know what to do...do I let my mare go with her, happy with her best friend until the end? 

She will not cope on her own, she will pace around all day and be even harder to handle...at the moment she is strong and pig headed to handle and gets feisty with her back legs...something I have to be careful with for my own safety, unborn child's safety and 3 year old sons safety! But she manageable...I know she won't be if on her own...

I can't afford a second horse/pony as a companion and it is private paddocks as part of a house so not sure I could even stay once their horses' time comes...

I cannot rehome her as a companion as very few would want a bolshy retired horse in their 20's and it wouldn't be fair on her after all she's been through...

I also cannot have her in a livery yard situation as she stresses with horses coming and going (being brought in to be stabled, ridden, groomed etc) and would struggle to afford livery bills on top of feed, farrier, worming, insurance etc bills.

Really not sure what to do and would be grateful for others advice/help...

Thank you...


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## AlexArt (Apr 25, 2010)

I think you've answered your own question - pts. If she were my mare I'd do the same, it is far better to pts than pass on from pillar to post or to leave a distressed mare, harsh I know but there are far worse things than being dead! 

I'd pts while she is happy, she's had a good run and is not a bad age at all, she's happy with her best buddy, I'd give them the summer to enjoy and then have them both pts come autumn before they start to loose condition etc. That's what I've done with oldies of various species, ie sheep,horses, etc if needs be, it is so much kinder to them. You will get bunny huggers saying that life should be continued regardless of quality and happiness to the animal as they seem to have a hang up on death, but you are the one who knows your mare the best and what is best for her quality of life in the end, it's your decision at the end of the day and no-one can make it for you. 
Good luck whatever you choose as it's never an easy decision. I've left old vaguely healthy animals in the past that should have been pts when their best buddy died but i didn't and I've regretted it everytime as even with a new buddy they are never happy!


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## Born2BWild (Jun 6, 2012)

AlexArt said:


> I think you've answered your own question - pts. If she were my mare I'd do the same, it is far better to pts than pass on from pillar to post or to leave a distressed mare, harsh I know but there are far worse things than being dead!
> 
> I'd pts while she is happy, she's had a good run and is not a bad age at all, she's happy with her best buddy, I'd give them the summer to enjoy and then have them both pts come autumn before they start to loose condition etc. That's what I've done with oldies of various species, ie sheep,horses, etc if needs be, it is so much kinder to them. You will get bunny huggers saying that life should be continued regardless of quality and happiness to the animal as they seem to have a hang up on death, but you are the one who knows your mare the best and what is best for her quality of life in the end, it's your decision at the end of the day and no-one can make it for you.
> Good luck whatever you choose as it's never an easy decision. I've left old vaguely healthy animals in the past that should have been pts when their best buddy died but i didn't and I've regretted it everytime as even with a new buddy they are never happy!


Thank you for your reply...it's so hard, I love her so much but want to do what is best. I would rather put her to sleep happy then wait for a couple of months after her friend is put to sleep where she will be mentally unstable and unhappy. It's such a difficult decision, I want to do what's best for her sanity but at the same time love her so much and feel heartbroken I'm making such a decision...


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## RachJeremy (Sep 14, 2012)

There was a post a while back, that received quite a few negative responses in regards to someone who owned two ponies having one put down for illness and having the other elderly pony put down too, with no given reason.... Many people saying the owner didn't even give the pony a chance... And that the owner was irresponsible and the vet was "trigger happy"... One of which insisted she was a horse person. Any horse person would see it the same as you have the last few bits, like AlexArt and like myself... YOU know your horse better than anyone, and if you've already arranged for her to be put down in the past and gone through that length to get her, and know that nothing you can do will keep her happy, i would have her put down too... Horses can have and suffer a lot of stress after the death of a beloved friend of theirs. Some of which can result in colic or much worse. If i was the horse in question, i would rather have the owner make the apparently 'harsh' decision to have me (as a horse) put down, rather than to suffer the panic and fear of suddenly losing my friend and being on my own. Try to think what your horse would prefer. Which by the sounds, you know how she'll react and you know in a way you'll be doing the right thing. 

Hope everything goes ok, and i hope this time everything goes as planned and you don't find her somewhere where she isn't meant to be. Maybe if you can pluck the courage make sure you don't send her away to be put down, go with her or have her done at home. 

Sending hugs your way.


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## cava14 una (Oct 21, 2008)

I agree with the others last happy summer and let them both go together before bad weather starts. Not easy to do but the best thing for her IMO


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## Born2BWild (Jun 6, 2012)

Thank you for your replies...

When I loaned/rehomed her before the person told me she had died to make money as she sold her to a riding school! (Bearing in mind she was retired and rehomed as a companion AND on the condition I get her back in the event she couldn't look after her any more!) It's a strange, if not worse, feeling that I have in the past mourned her believing she had died and now I'm going to have to go through that all again...I never thought of this moment coming, I know it would eventually come but never thought of it. I keep thinking she could go on for years but then think she may but that could be years of unhappiness, lacking stability and insanity which wouldn't be fair on her.

She is a very special mare who has got me through some tough times and given years of happiness...I would only want her to be happy in return for what she has given me. 

I keep thinking 20ish is young, I guess I'm comparing her to her friend who has done extremely well for her age at 30ish. 

This is so hard! I hate making tough decisions, but know its only mine to make and I guess it's the pressure of being sure I have made the right decision. 

When the time comes I have always set a promise, not only to my horse but all my animals, that I will be with them when the end comes...it's only right for them to be pts in my arms so they don't have to be alone.

So many ifs and buts running through my mind...


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## toffee44 (Oct 21, 2011)

Just to say I put Toffee down in Wednesday and I know what things are going through your head. But you, like me, know your horse and know what's right. Toffee was 20 this year and sounds very like your mare !!!


"Better a day too soon than a day too late"


Will PM you in a bit x


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## reallyshouldnotwearjods (Nov 19, 2012)

agree with all else, I would pts at the end of the summer (but I would also keep my eye out for something as you never know what is around the corner) x its tough to make these decisions but thats horses for you x good luck x


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## Born2BWild (Jun 6, 2012)

Thank you for your replies...in a way I am feeling coward trying to get people to make a decision for me but know I can't and have to make it myself.

I know she won't cope on her own at all, and loosing her best friend will hit her hard as they are so attached!

Thanks again everyone xx


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## Goldstar (Nov 12, 2011)

I don't know much about horses but going by what the others have said then I think the kindest thing would be to let her go with her friend. You know her best and will make the best decision for her in the end x


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

If she's a potential danger to other people including kids and unmanageable in so many other situations, I'd suggest PTS. You could then look for a pony for the kids or something more suitable for them that you could still ride?


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## toffee44 (Oct 21, 2011)

Born2BWild said:


> Thank you for your replies...in a way I am feeling coward trying to get people to make a decision for me but know I can't and have to make it myself.
> 
> x


I made my mum and sister come and see Toff before we did what needed

Xx


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## Zayna (Apr 19, 2009)

I think deep down you know what you have to do but it's hard to admit it to yourself. shes made it to a good age dont feel bad about it. I do not envy you having to make such a hard choice xx


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