# My cat is too polite!



## quienesesa (Oct 10, 2013)

Hi all.

In june 2013 I got a 6 year old longhaired domestic named Daphne. She's pure white, with different coloured eyes and is deaf.

As deaf cats tend to do, she used to really mew loudly in the night. after a few months we have got this out of her, although there is still one issue.

In the night, she wants to jump on the bed to be with us. We have no problem with that, however she will mew really really loudly for permission to jump on the bed! She won't just jump up, she waits for one of us to pat the bed as a signal for her.

She has a great diet, good toilet movements, a bed she loves downstairs and another bed in our bedroom, she's learning to play well, so i know shes a happy bunny! I just cant figure out this permission thing.

We put a big wooden box at the end of the bed, so instead of one big jump, she can take two smaller steps up to the bed, we thought it would help. She has been using it, but still mews for permission.

getting enough sleep is a real problem at the mo, so any suggestions would help!

The only thing I can think of is that her previous owner trained her to not go on beds. how can i retrain her? thanks so much for your help! x


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## oliviarussian (Sep 2, 2010)

Sorry can't offer any advice..... but just to say she sounds like an absolute little darling!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

She sounds lovely! You are so lucky to have her in your lives. Hopefully over time she will come to realise how welcome she is and will jump on your bed without an 'okay' signal.


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## quienesesa (Oct 10, 2013)

ah thanks guys. yes i hope she'll grow out of it and just come up on the bed naturally  in the meantime, i need some bloody sleep! x


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

She is gorgeous! :001_wub: 

I suggest earplugs............or shutting her out of your room (which you may not want to do). 

Perhaps try putting a few dry treats on the bed at bedtime where she usually jumps up, so she gets the idea you intend her to be on your bed.


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## carly87 (Feb 11, 2011)

Could you bring her favourite dangler toy to bed with you? Then go to bed early for a few nights and, when in there and before she's had a chance to jump up, start wiggling the dangler to get her interest. Drag it up onto the bed and flick it around so that when she follow,s she gets to run all over the bed whilst seeing you in there. This will help her realise that it's Ok to jump up. I'd not recommend this for cats who didn't have such good manners, but sometimes you've just got to teach them that it's ok to be "naughty" as they see it, some of the time!


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## DENISE R (Apr 16, 2012)

All I can say is she is soooooo beautiful, my baby Ruby just sits by the bed and waits for me to get in first, I can potter around downstairs for ages and she will be sitting waiting lol, and then jumps on but rarely sleeps on the bed, once again she is gorgeous :thumbup:


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## quienesesa (Oct 10, 2013)

Thanks for all your nice comments guys!

Carly, that's a brilliant idea, I will give that a try!! thanks so much! 

The trouble is, despite being 6 years old, she's never had toys before, so I've been teaching her to play! At first she didn't know what to do, but she loves shoelaces, I could use those to entice her!

She also loves drinking straws. the other night she went potty for half an hour, throwing a straw in the air and chasing it. melted my heart!!!


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## carly87 (Feb 11, 2011)

I had one exactly like this who I got at 3 years old. Didn't have a clue what toys were, didn't come on the bed until given permission, drank cuddles like she'd had none in ages, was such a good little soul... But you know, when there's no naughtiness there, there's a part of the personality missing, and they just feel like little robots.

It took me 6 months to get her to smack a dangly toy, then a further few months before she broke her own code of manners and jumped right on top of me in the bed to catch a feather I was teasing her with. Then she stopped dead, froze like a statue and just stood there like "OMG, what have I just done! Uh-oh, something bad's gonna happen, right?" The only bad thing that happened to her that night was lots of cuddles and treats, and an extended play session with that naughty feather!

This cat was so polite that she used to tap you with a paw to ask if it was Ok to request a cuddle! And would never come onto your lap without being set there by you, but would stand or sit beside you on the arm of the chair and just look at you.

Now? Well, this morning she howled and yelled and screamed at me for treats, bounced with all four feet from the floor right up onto my belly to wake me up, sat down on my chest and yelled min my face because I wouldn't let her under the covers, barged all the other cats out of the way so that she could run and get on my chair before I did... I have to be very careful not to tell her off too harshly when she's naughty because she takes it very hard and will regress quite quickly into this subservient, timid little mouse, and even when she's being naughty you can apparently (I'm blind), see her looking over her shoulder, watching all the time as if to say "Is this all right? It's Ok right?", so I'm still guilty of encouraging her to show behaviours that I'd be less tolerant of in the other cats.

Hope this helps!


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## quienesesa (Oct 10, 2013)

Chillminx thanks so much for that advice! I will try with a few treats!

Carly, daphne sounds just like your cat!!! She will tap us gently to ask for a cuddle bless her! Fingers crossed she will come out of herself more and more as time goes on. It was really great to read your account of your cat, and how well she is doing now! You're so right, it was like a piece of Daphne's personality was missing, poor thing. 

Thanks so much, it's brilliant to read your stories


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