# Rehoming where to start please help me



## Lola90 (Oct 24, 2016)

Hi I need some help.

We have a 6 year old lab lurcher cross that we rescued when she was a year old. She's a lovely dog, house trained and loves adults but we have had a baby and she really hasn't taken to him at all. 
She was really well trained when we got her and we kept this up and knowing we would eventually have a baby we tried to expose her to kids but she was always really barky and growly with them. Obviously this made it really difficult for us to try to get her used to them as it's not something I want to risk. 
Now we've had our baby and although she keeps herself to herself she has growled at him and shown her teeth a few times when he's tried to stroke her - I know what you're going to say - don't let him near her, however, she will come over to me when he's sat on my lap to be stroked so I will obviously give her attention but on the couple of occasions he's reached her hand out she's become really growly. 
We also have two niece and nephews and whenever she's been around them in the house she just barks at them and I can tell she's anxious about them. 
We've given her her own space in the house with toys, treats, little brain training activities but I'm so worried about when he's going to be walking soon. She often sits on her bed growling even if he's just in the room and I sometimes feel like she's really unhappy
She deserves to have long walks everyday and sometimes I can't juggle both him and her. I feel like she's anxious on the walks too and there's been a few instances recently when she's gone for dogs, I can only see this being because of our baby.

I don't want to take her to a shelter, I want to find her a home with the right people and want to know if anyone has any tips on where to go for this. I know it can be a long process but I really don't want her ending up in a shelter becoming more anxious and then potentially going to the wrong people.

Please help me, this is the worst situation to happen and I feel so awful about it but I just think she's really unhappy at the moment and constantly on edge. She deserves so much more than she's getting


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Going through a rescue doesn’t always mean them going into kennels. Some will assess the dog and prospective owners and process the move from home.

I would avoid a private rehome yourself. A rescue will be better placed to check out the person and match the dog with a suitable, adult only home.

In the meantime, I would give the dog a quiet area to settle where she cannot be disturbed or approached by your child (or any other).

Make sure she’s settled safely there when your child is up and about to avoid any chance of trouble.


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## bunnygeek (Jul 24, 2018)

It would be much better to find a reputable rescue willing to take her own with those known behavioural issues. Trying to do it yourself means she could well end up in exactly the same situation - a family with kids - as you are now and her behaviour may get worse. A good rescue will have time to work with her, let her decompress, they will do thorough homechecks and matching and offer the new adopters with a lifetime of behavioural support.


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## Ian246 (Oct 27, 2018)

bunnygeek said:


> It would be much better to find a reputable rescue willing to take her own with those known behavioural issues. Trying to do it yourself means she could well end up in exactly the same situation - a family with kids - as you are now and her behaviour may get worse. A good rescue will have time to work with her, let her decompress, they will do thorough homechecks and matching and offer the new adopters with a lifetime of behavioural support.


Actually, it could turn out worse than that. The ne'er do wells who want dogs for all kinds of cruel purposes can come up with all sorts of plausible stories. As has been said, best to go through a reputable rescue centre that can properly assess your dogs needs and pair her up with the right folks.


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## hamsterlover123 (Mar 20, 2021)

True, 
don't do business with RSPCA
Maybe a private re-home would work as long if the person is someone you deeply trust and does not have kids
I would not recommend a Local shelter
Use a shelter that has lots of support/donations if you can.
Do a check-up on the shelter that will rehome her. Make sure you can contact them all times and they are not un-kind to you, because they could also be un-kind to the dogs, 
Some shelters might let you keep the dog in your house until they find a suitable home in case you are afraid of the kennel. 
Your dog is probably not the "ugly" dog no one likes (I don't really get those people) and it is trained and all that so I think it would adopted quickly! 
If you are super concerned about the look (cause that plays a big part when it really should not) you can get your dog groomed. 
I hope this helps!


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## Ian246 (Oct 27, 2018)

hamsterlover123 said:


> don't do business with RSPCA


sorry, @hamsterlover123, can you substantiate that statement?! Why are you telling the OP not to 'do business' with the RSPCA?!

I volunteered for the local RSPCA kennels and, given that I felt they did the absolute best for their dogs, I'm interested as to what you base your statement on. :Bored I'm particularly perplexed, given that you then go onto say, "Use a shelter that has lots of support/donations if you can." Surely the RSPCA meets that particular requirement...although you then say, "I would not recommend a Local shelter". So, not the (probably) biggest national animal charity...and not local rescues? I'm struggling to find the middle ground, especially given that the RSPCA operates locally (but do you understand that?)

So, let me get this right:
NOT a local shelter. Why?
NOT the RSPCA. Why?
One that gets lots of support/donations. How, precisely, do you establish that?

By the way, Wainwrights shelter, near me, is local, but was set up by the author, hiker and animal-lover of the same name and is well-supported. How does that fit your theory?:Banghead
You clearly have great experience of various rescue shelters up and down the country - how have you obtained that, I wonder?

in fact, having just checked your recent posts, it doesn't even look like you live in the U.K. so, what is ACTUALLY your experience of the RSPCA?! Or is your knowledge of rescues international?


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

Give Dogs trust a call. They may not take your dog ut I'm sure they can give expert advice 
https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/rehoming/giving-up-your-dog/


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## Ian246 (Oct 27, 2018)

Ian246 said:


> sorry, @hamsterlover123, can you substantiate that statement?! Why are you telling the OP not to 'do business' with the RSPCA?!
> 
> I volunteered for the local RSPCA kennels and, given that I felt they did the absolute best for their dogs, I'm interested as to what you base your statement on. :Bored I'm particularly perplexed, given that you then go onto say, "Use a shelter that has lots of support/donations if you can." Surely the RSPCA meets that particular requirement...although you then say, "I would not recommend a Local shelter". So, not the (probably) biggest national animal charity...and not local rescues? I'm struggling to find the middle ground, especially given that the RSPCA operates locally (but do you understand that?)
> 
> ...


I guess not, then....


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

hamsterlover123 said:


> I would not recommend a Local shelter


Why not? Are you familiar with rescues local to the OP?



hamsterlover123 said:


> Your dog is probably not the "ugly" dog no one likes (I don't really get those people) and it is trained and all that so I think it would adopted quickly!
> If you are super concerned about the look (cause that plays a big part when it really should not) you can get your dog groomed.


What on Earth does this mean? Did the OP say her dog is 'ugly'? Why would she have her dog groomed?


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## hamsterlover123 (Mar 20, 2021)

Ian246 said:


> sorry, @hamsterlover123, can you substantiate that statement?! Why are you telling the OP not to 'do business' with the RSPCA?!
> 
> I volunteered for the local RSPCA kennels and, given that I felt they did the absolute best for their dogs, I'm interested as to what you base your statement on. :Bored I'm particularly perplexed, given that you then go onto say, "Use a shelter that has lots of support/donations if you can." Surely the RSPCA meets that particular requirement...although you then say, "I would not recommend a Local shelter". So, not the (probably) biggest national animal charity...and not local rescues? I'm struggling to find the middle ground, especially given that the RSPCA operates locally (but do you understand that?)
> 
> ...


So most local shelters do not have much money and may not be able to take care of your dog well (depending on your locations) 
From my knowledge of many articles, it says that the RSPCA puts down an unnecessary amount of animals when they are healthy and you can see more on that even on this forum with the RSPCA exposed thread. (sorry for the knowledge but I get it from my sources I am just trying to help the person rehoming their dog)
(sorry for not specifying enough and I am just trying to help I meant to harm)


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## hamsterlover123 (Mar 20, 2021)

Rafa said:


> What on Earth does this mean? Did the OP say her dog is 'ugly'? Why would she have her dog groomed?


 When people look at dogs they want to adopt they most likely want a cute one and would want to adopt a cute on more than an average one
grooming is if you are SUPER concerned that the dog would not get adopted cause it was not cute enough but that takes it to a bit of a extreme as there is probably someone who would gladly take in her dog as their new furbaby


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

How do you know what other people are looking for in a dog?

The OP would certainly be wise to rehome her dog through a reputable Rescue.

Your 'advice' here is questionable.


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## Ian246 (Oct 27, 2018)

hamsterlover123 said:


> So most local shelters do not have much money and may not be able to take care of your dog well (depending on your locations)
> From my knowledge of many articles, it says that the RSPCA puts down an unnecessary amount of animals when they are healthy and you can see more on that even on this forum with the RSPCA exposed thread. (sorry for the knowledge but I get it from my sources I am just trying to help the person rehoming their dog)
> (sorry for not specifying enough and I am just trying to help I meant to harm)


Where are you getting your information from? 'Most' local rescues don't have much money? How have you surveyed them? What on earth does that have to do with anything, anyway?! They are - generally - charities, so they rely on donations (and numbers expect 'donations' from people who take dogs on), so, yes, they are not flush with cash, but that has absolutely nothing to do with how well they care for the animals they take on.
You're making completely unfounded assertions with no evidence to back them up. You said not to do business with the RSPCA and my challenge to that - particularly given that you don't appear to live in England - has been neatly ignored. You're basing your answer on stupid rumours - and I can assure you that you are INCORRECT. The RSPCA, as policy, does NOT put down any dog that can reasonably be kept alive. The RSPCA continually refutes these ridiculous rumours. Yet, you're writing it as if it's Gospel - and you don't know what you're talking about. We had dogs waiting for homes for two years, simply because they were difficult and, for whatever reason, they didn't appeal to prospective owners. They were cared for just the same as the 'cute' ones (I regret descending to your terminology here) and eventually, to our great joy, they were successfully rehomed. Yes, regrettably, some dogs they receive are in such a state that putting to sleep is the only option - the sort of decision you and I - well, I - would make as well.) Frankly you're spouting crap. Stop it.
So, I'm challenging you. Stop making sweeping assertions like this unless you can back them up with some sort of evidence. In particular, STOP criticising the RSPCA of whom you have no direct experience.
You are not helping anyone here - all you're doing is confusing things - and making yourself look very foolish.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

@hamsterlover123 it appears from your posts that you don't have a great deal of experience with rescues so please refrain from giving out opinions that are not fact, it is confusing for less experienced pet custodians who are reading this thread looking for proper answers.

It may also result in them making the wrong choice when looking for somewhere for their pet to go in the difficult event that they have to rehome them.

The best course of action here is for the OP to go through a reputable rescue.


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## Silverpaw (May 8, 2019)

I'm a bit late to this but felt I had to comment after reading some of the 'advice' given.I totally agree that the best way forward is to secure a place in a good rescue,do your own checks to see how they operate eg do they offer life time back up,behavioural support to adopters etc.Finding a suitable home yourself is a total lottery and offers your dog no ongoing support,they 'adopters' can do what they chose once the dog is theirs.
Re comments specifically about the RSPCA,one of my previous dogs came from the RSPCA at the age of twelve months.She had been re-homed once and handed back to them.I dread to think what might have happened to her if they hadn't been there for her.She was the most precious girl imaginable.
Lot's of local rescues that I am aware of work tirelessly to raise funds.The people involved in them give up their time and deal with lots of problems that the rest of society creates (as do the RSPCA).I am sure there are some that are run with dubious motives, including some of the overseas ones.Again, before supporting any rescue and certainly before entrusting them with a precious dog,it is necessary to do due diligence.
As for making judgements about people choosing cute, fluffy dogs,or whatever,I think that is a sweeping generalisation.Many people who deserve to take on a rescue dog are,I hope,not as shallow as that.
I hope the dog in question gets a good home that will be forever.However,if circumstances change or things break down,a good rescue will be there to pick up the pieces, that's what they do.


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

hamsterlover123 said:


> When people look at dogs they want to adopt they most likely want a cute one and would want to adopt a cute on more than an average one
> grooming is if you are SUPER concerned that the dog would not get adopted cause it was not cute enough but that takes it to a bit of a extreme as there is probably someone who would gladly take in her dog as their new furbaby


I think you've been watching too many Disney movies.


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## Ian246 (Oct 27, 2018)

SusieRainbow said:


> I think you've been watching too many Disney movies.


I think she (or he) is making it up as they go along!


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## hamsterlover123 (Mar 20, 2021)

So sorry for creating a little buzz here! I guess my info was incorrect just ignore it then. Don't worry I will delete it so future people looking for advice in a similar situation don't get my incorrect info, but let's not focus on me and focus on helping her, please!


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

hamsterlover123 said:


> So sorry for creating a little buzz here! I guess my info was incorrect just ignore it then. Don't worry I will delete it so future people looking for advice in a similar situation don't get my incorrect info, but let's not focus on me and focus on helping her, please!


Can I suggest you don't give advice on such subjects as -A) UK rescues are very different to US rescues, and B) you have no relevant experience of either.


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## Ian246 (Oct 27, 2018)

Like @SusieRainbow said.


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

hamsterlover123 said:


> but let's not focus on me and focus on helping her, please!


Well, this is a bit rich.

Some of us have focused on trying to help the OP. We had to switch focus to you to try and stop you from giving bad advice.

You derailed the thread, not us.


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## Ian246 (Oct 27, 2018)

Rafa said:


> Well, this is a bit rich.
> 
> Some of us have focused on trying to help the OP. We had to switch focus to you to try and stop you from giving bad advice.
> 
> You derailed the thread, not us.


Yup! The irony is palpable.:Banghead


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

Lola90 said:


> Now we've had our baby and although she keeps herself to herself she has growled at him and shown her teeth a few times when he's tried to stroke her - I know what you're going to say - don't let him near her, however, she will come over to me when he's sat on my lap to be stroked so I will obviously give her attention but on the couple of occasions he's reached her hand out she's become really growly.


Hi Lola, 
In February when you first posted about helping your dog accept the baby I suggested lots of safe spaces for her and a few blogs to read. Have you been able to implement any of that?

I'm also rather confused. Your son is what, 3 months old? How is he reaching out to stroke her at 3 months? 
If she is coming to you with your son on your lap, have her lay down near you but away from your son, or simply encourage her to go lay down somewhere else and then when you're not holding your son, give her plenty of attention.

She needs to learn coping skills too. If she's uncomfortable with baby, encourage her to move away from him. 
At 3 months, there shouldn't really be any dog/baby interactions, there is no reason why they need to interact at all, and as she sees him more as a non-issue she may very well relax more around him.


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