# Anyone have any general questions about their dog?



## 4RottyGirl (Oct 6, 2013)

I have years of experience in veterinary medicine, training, grooming, etc. Please feel free to ask away!


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## Bobbie (May 3, 2008)

Ok a question about grooming. I have a Rough collie and no matter how much I groom the hair behind the ears one shake of his head and he looks like a mad professor. I do know its to do with the wax behind the ears but they always look like I haven't bothered to groom them.


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## Freyja (Jun 28, 2008)

Another one on grooming.

I have a veteran whippet bitch 9 and a half years old she is a brindle and white parti colour. Untill he passed away a couple of months aoh she slept with an even older veteran who was slightly incontinent. Dispite changing their beds every day it has stained her coat a creamy yellow on her legs and thighs. I have tried the whitening shampoos but nothing will get her back white. I show her in veteran classes and have been told she is a lovely bitch but would do better if I could get her white. She is bathed regulary and she is not incontinent her bed is always dry now but is still changed every week.

Any advise on how to get her white?


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

As I didn't want to ignore your post I'd like to present you with the following problem;

Oscar (Saplaninac) has become a great concern to me of late.

It seems it doesn't matter what I'm doing or where I'm doing it he has developed a habit whereby for no apparent reason he charges at me and crashes in between my legs.

Once there he comes to a sudden and full stop.

Now the problem is Oscar stands 79cms at the shoulder, my inner leg measurements are 75cms, and because of his height I'm left balancing precariously on tip toes.

Add these figures to his weight, 70kilos plus, I'm sure you realise he is a serious force to be reckoned with.

So this is my question to you;

Is Oscar trying to kill me? :confused1:
:wink:


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## GingerRogers (Sep 13, 2012)

Zaros said:


> As I didn't want to ignore your post I'd like to present you with the following problem;
> 
> Oscar (Saplaninac) has become a great concern to me of late.
> 
> ...


I can answer that, and the answer is absolutely not  but since your nearby forest was chopped down he misses having logs to jump over and so is attempting to knock you to the floor and use you as a log jump  simples.


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## BessieDog (May 16, 2012)

My Irish setter's ears have gone blond. I've been told this is because the groomer cut them too short. Can I do anything to get them brown again?


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## emmaviolet (Oct 24, 2011)

Bobbie said:


> Ok a question about grooming. I have a Rough collie and no matter how much I groom the hair behind the ears one shake of his head and he looks like a mad professor. I do know its to do with the wax behind the ears but they always look like I haven't bothered to groom them.


I know I'm not the OP, but sometimes a bit of a trim helps with that.


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

GingerRogers said:


> I can answer that, and the answer is absolutely not  but since your nearby forest was chopped down he misses having logs to jump over and so is attempting to knock you to the floor and use you as a log jump  simples.



If there's any truth to your theory should I be watching out for any signs of him cocking his leg up to pee on me?:huh:

:wink:


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## GingerRogers (Sep 13, 2012)

Zaros said:


> If there's any truth to your theory should I be watching out for any signs of him cocking his leg up to pee on me?:huh:
> 
> :wink:


Well yes, but even a squatter can inflict unpleasant damp patches on a prone manlog :nonod:


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## dandogman (Dec 19, 2011)

I've got a long/rough coated Jack Russell... do I have to have her hair cut or can I leave it natural?


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## metaldog (Nov 11, 2009)

dandogman said:


> I've got a long/rough coated Jack Russell... do I have to have her hair cut or can I leave it natural?


Hi Dan 

Rough coated JRTs should be hand stripped, never cut as it ruins the texture of the coat.


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## metaldog (Nov 11, 2009)

4RottyGirl said:


> I have years of experience in veterinary medicine, training, grooming, etc. Please feel free to ask away!


Hello and welcome to the forum 

It is lovely of you to offer advice to help fellow dog lovers in this way. However with this being the internet and all I wondered if you would make a post about your actual experience, where you have worked, for how long and what your qualifications are


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## Emmastace (Feb 11, 2011)

Well the OP has done what they have said on the tin and lots of questions asked. Giving an answer was never promised and they seem to have fulfilled that bit too


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## springerpete (Jun 24, 2010)

I have two dogs, a Goldie and a Springer. My problem is that whilst my Retriever remains reasonably clean on our walks my spanner manages to find disgusting muck to get himself covered in. Do you think a visit to a ''Behaviourist' might be useful in trying to sort out his obsession??????


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## Westy (Feb 19, 2013)

Well I Hope that 4RottyGirl comes back to reply to all these urgent questions as there's obviously nobody else here with any experience. :nonod:

I see that she's already replied to a 3 year old post.


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## dandogman (Dec 19, 2011)

metaldog said:


> Hi Dan
> 
> Rough coated JRTs should be hand stripped, never cut as it ruins the texture of the coat.


Yes, that's what I meant, I was just wondering if I *have* to have it done, or can I leave it to grow naturally and keep on top of grooming? or will be be uncomfortable?


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## Burrowzig (Feb 18, 2009)

Zaros said:


> As I didn't want to ignore your post I'd like to present you with the following problem;
> 
> Oscar (Saplaninac) has become a great concern to me of late.
> 
> ...


No, he just thinks your family is big enough as it is.....


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## metaldog (Nov 11, 2009)

dandogman said:


> Yes, that's what I meant, I was just wondering if I *have* to have it done, or can I leave it to grow naturally and keep on top of grooming? or will be be uncomfortable?


I would have it done if I had a rough coated JRT, no it shouldn't hurt and she will be cooler in summer if she is stripped regularly  It's twice a year if memory serves me well


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Burrowzig said:


> No, he just thinks your family is big enough as it is.....


LMAO.

He does tend to catch me awkwardly at times and if he does happen to do me some serious injury I'll have my revenge by taking him to be castrated the minute I can walk again.:wink:


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## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

BessieDog said:


> My Irish setter's ears have gone blond. I've been told this is because the groomer cut them too short. Can I do anything to get them brown again?


Move out of Essex.


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## Emmastace (Feb 11, 2011)

BessieDog said:


> My Irish setter's ears have gone blond. I've been told this is because the groomer cut them too short. Can I do anything to get them brown again?


I know this sounds stupid.....but could it be the sun? I have had to keep Mylo out of the sun all summer and only let him outside really early or late because the liver colour fades to a gingery blond in the sun especially on the head and ears where the hair is finer.


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## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

4RottyGirl said:


> I have years of experience in veterinary medicine, training, grooming, etc. Please feel free to ask away!


I'm getting on a bit now and have started going grey. Do you have any experience of using 'Just for Men' and can you recommend something for the weekend ?


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## Mulish (Feb 20, 2013)

springerpete said:


> I have two dogs, a Goldie and a Springer. My problem is that whilst my Retriever remains reasonably clean on our walks my spanner manages to find disgusting muck to get himself covered in. Do you think a visit to a ''Behaviourist' might be useful in trying to sort out his obsession??????


I'm no expert but I'd definitely get your goldie to a behaviorist asap. A dog coming back reasonably clean from a walk? Very worrying indeed :nonod:


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## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

Mulish said:


> I'm no expert but I'd definitely get your goldie to a behaviorist asap. A dog coming back reasonably clean from a walk? Very worrying indeed :nonod:


Some of you aren't taking this thread seriously. Just ignore them OP. I realise that in a moment of weakness I may have posted something silly but my strength has returned. Do you have any spaces on Wednesday for a sack, back and... aaarrrghhhhh.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

diefenbaker said:


> Some of you aren't taking this thread seriously. Just ignore them OP. I realise that in a moment of weakness I may have posted something silly but my strength has returned. Do you have any spaces on Wednesday for a sack, back and... aaarrrghhhhh.


I saw your name as contributing to the thread and wondered what wise questions you had. 

I would like to know the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything. My dog said it wasn't 42. Is she deliberately trying to confuse me?


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## springerpete (Jun 24, 2010)

MollySmith said:


> I saw your name as contributing to the thread and wondered what wise questions you had.
> 
> I would like to know the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything. My dog said it wasn't 42. Is she deliberately trying to confuse me?


Without a doubt...Everyone knows that the answer to the ultimate question is 42. Your dog is lying to you.


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

I have a Briard a double coated breed, should his under coat be stripped out in the summer or is that defeat the reason they have a double coat.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

springerpete said:


> Without a doubt...Everyone knows that the answer to the ultimate question is 42. Your dog is lying to you.


*sobs* I knew it. In that case OP, tell me how to cure a dog from lying.


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## CheddarS (Dec 13, 2011)

I have tears running down my face, perhaps comedian could be added to cv.


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## BessieDog (May 16, 2012)

diefenbaker said:


> Move out of Essex.


You can take the girl out of Essex....,



Emmastace said:


> I know this sounds stupid.....but could it be the sun? I have had to keep Mylo out of the sun all summer and only let him outside really early or late because the liver colour fades to a gingery blond in the sun especially on the head and ears where the hair is finer.


She's an Essex girl! She spends her life in the sun! 

And when exactly is the OP coming back?


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## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

Just reading through this thread is cheering me up 

I have a question regarding grooming. What in the world can one do with...

THIS!!!


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Lauren5159 said:


> Just reading through this thread is cheering me up
> 
> I have a question regarding grooming. What in the world can one do with...
> 
> ...


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## BeauNoir (Sep 16, 2012)

Beard net?


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## Malmum (Aug 1, 2010)

Zaros said:


> As I didn't want to ignore your post I'd like to present you with the following problem;
> 
> Oscar (Saplaninac) has become a great concern to me of late.
> 
> ...


Ha ha ha - made me lol Zaros, you kidder you!


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## 4RottyGirl (Oct 6, 2013)

If you regularly have him shaved down then yes, that's probably the cause of the change in coat color. Considering of course they're no underlying health issues. The only thing you can do and it still may not work is : stop shaving now. When getting professional grooming from now on, have them do a bath and tidy. They will wash, brush out and dry your dog then only trim up the feet and sanitary areas. if the coat is still clipped short, brush regularly and brush agains t the way the hair lays. Constant brushing at home to promote the hair to grow, stopping shaving and adding something like fish oil to his food MAY grow his coat back. Although, it will probably never be the same. Dont feel like you've done anything bad, he's a pet not a show dog.


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## 4RottyGirl (Oct 6, 2013)

Your pup is adorable! The thing I love about wired terriers is you can do whatever you want with thay awesome hair! Most people in Vegas prefer short on the body, tail trimmed and a tight schnauzer face and a lot of times these guys get mowhawks


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## 4RottyGirl (Oct 6, 2013)

I didn't expect so many to have such good questions especially in less than 24 hrs! Thank you. I want to get back to all of you so if you don't hear from me and need to message me please.


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## 4RottyGirl (Oct 6, 2013)

Freyja said:


> Another one on grooming.
> 
> I have a veteran whippet bitch 9 and a half years old she is a brindle and white parti colour. Untill he passed away a couple of months aoh she slept with an even older veteran who was slightly incontinent. Dispite changing their beds every day it has stained her coat a creamy yellow on her legs and thighs. I have tried the whitening shampoos but nothing will get her back white. I show her in veteran classes and have been told she is a lovely bitch but would do better if I could get her white. She is bathed regulary and she is not incontinent her bed is always dry now but is still changed every week.
> 
> Any advise on how to get her white?


Try dawn in the areas where she is stained be sure to rinse well and follow with a conditioner. Also, I would get the bed out of the equation.


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## 4RottyGirl (Oct 6, 2013)

dandogman said:


> I've got a long/rough coated Jack Russell... do I have to have her hair cut or can I leave it natural?


Unless you plan to show her, you can do whatever you like and fits your lifestyle. Traditional method is hand stripping, but its very costly for the common pet owner and is only required in show.


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## 4RottyGirl (Oct 6, 2013)

springerpete said:


> I have two dogs, a Goldie and a Springer. My problem is that whilst my Retriever remains reasonably clean on our walks my spanner manages to find disgusting muck to get himself covered in. Do you think a visit to a ''Behaviourist' might be useful in trying to sort out his obsession??????


Springers were bred to get dirty. Only things I can recommend is have a groomer clip the hair on his feet to help with dirt, keep him out of the mud.


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## 4RottyGirl (Oct 6, 2013)

Zaros said:


> As I didn't want to ignore your post I'd like to present you with the following problem;
> 
> Oscar (Saplaninac) has become a great concern to me of late.
> 
> ...


You need to either get UN scared of this dog and take charge as well as get him fixed immediately. If you are not going to take charge and follow thru then he's better off elsewhere. And considering breed and signs of dominance, I would consult a trainer experienced with that behavior.


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## 4RottyGirl (Oct 6, 2013)

Happy Paws said:


> I have a Briard a double coated breed, should his under coat be stripped out in the summer or is that defeat the reason they have a double coat.


If he isn't being shown you can keep his coat however you like


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## pogo (Jul 25, 2011)

4RottyGirl said:


> You need to either get UN scared of this dog and take charge as well as get him fixed immediately. If you are not going to take charge and follow thru then he's better off elsewhere. And considering breed and signs of dominance, I would consult a trainer experienced with that behavior.


Haha clearly sarcasm isn't your strong point :lol:


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## Freyja (Jun 28, 2008)

4RottyGirl said:


> Try dawn in the areas where she is stained be sure to rinse well and follow with a conditioner. Also, I would get the bed out of the equation.


If you had read my post properly you would see the cause of the problem was an incontinent male who she slept with. The bed is changed at least once a week she is not incontinent. You say take the bed out of the equation what do you suggest I give her to sleep on considering she is an elderly whippet?


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## GingerRogers (Sep 13, 2012)

Hilarious. There was me feeling a little bad about playing silly in a new posters trying to be helpful thread.
:w00t:

I am not sure a Vegas cut will suit an English terrier not least as they will lose all their wetherproofing if clipped and not stripped.

Zaros if you weren't already it seems you need to be very scared now :crying:


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

4RottyGirl said:


> Unless you plan to show her, you can do whatever you like and fits your lifestyle. Traditional method is hand stripping, but its very costly for the common pet owner and is only required in show.


Well my mum's Border Terrier gets hand stripped twice a year at a price of £30 a time; hardly costly. Dan I would only recommend hand stripping for Molly, anything else will damage her coat.



4RottyGirl said:


> If he isn't being shown you can keep his coat however you like


Can't wait to see what you go for Happy Paws, perhaps dreadlocks?! :w00t:


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## Mulish (Feb 20, 2013)

4RottyGirl said:


> You need to either get UN scared of this dog and take charge as well as get him fixed immediately. If you are not going to take charge and follow thru then he's better off elsewhere. And considering breed and signs of dominance, I would consult a trainer experienced with that behavior.


I entirely agree. Zaros you need to start charging through Oscars legs as fast as you can, show him who's boss!

GingerRogers, I felt a bit bad, too, but don't now. Also, I think Ninja would look awesome with an Elvis quiff for her Vegas show


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

I have just spat my tea out reading through this again!

Every Monday morning should start like this one:w00t:


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## Dogless (Feb 26, 2010)

My two shorthaired dogs look a little mundane and pedestrian next to all of the long haired dogs who have flowing coats. Are there any hair extensions available for dogs?

Also, the youngest loves to roll in decomposing animals and fox poo, is this behaviour a cause for concern?


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

Dogless said:


> My two shorthaired dogs look a little mundane and pedestrian next to all of the long haired dogs who have flowing coats. Are there any hair extensions available for dogs?
> 
> Also, the youngest loves to roll in decomposing animals and fox poo, is this behaviour a cause for concern?


These look quite fetching, don't you think?




























:w00t:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Zaros said:


> As I didn't want to ignore your post I'd like to present you with the following problem;
> 
> Oscar (Saplaninac) has become a great concern to me of late.
> 
> ...


No - he is trying to maim you so that he can toy with you in your agony, and possibly bring all his doggy pals round for a fun session of 'tormenting dad'. Chihuahuas in particular rarely get to be in this position of absolute power, and it would make Oscar very popular with all the other dogs. You will probably find that he tries it most frequently when you are opening biscuits, putting food out etc. This is so that he can offer refreshment during the interval (when they will all take the opportunity to pee on you . . .)

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Lauren5159 said:


> Just reading through this thread is cheering me up
> 
> I have a question regarding grooming. What in the world can one do with...
> 
> THIS!!!


I'm afraid that all you can do with that is shower it with LOVE! :smile5:

EDIT: How do you keep a light-coloured carpet so pristine? Or do you have a new one fitted every week? (and if so, do you negotiate BOGOF deals, and how would I go about it?)


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Malmum said:


> Ha ha ha - made me lol Zaros, you kidder you!


:wink:

He often does this as a sign of affection. Especially when I've been out or after I've given him a stiff talking to about his often stubborn behaviour on leash walks when he thinks I should go his way instead of him going mine.

He'll simply slump down and refuse to budge.

Like a spoilt kid really.

The trick I've discovered best works is this;

After I've finished my lecture, one I know he rarely, if ever, listens to, I'll throw the leash down on the floor and walk away.

A few metres or so further on and I'll look back to find he's got to his feet and is charging over towards me.

BANG!

I'll scruff his bum a bit whilst balancing on one leg and he'll suck up my affections by thrusting himself up even further.

I suppose it's his way of saying to me 'Ah come on, it was only a joke!'

That's Oscar though. A mischievous not so little devil from the word go. :laugh:



4RottyGirl said:


> You need to either get UN scared of this dog and take charge as well as get him fixed immediately. If you are not going to take charge and follow thru then he's better off elsewhere. And considering breed and signs of dominance, I would consult a trainer experienced with that behavior.


Signs of dominance from Oscar towards me?:laugh:

This is a joke I've missed.

Right? :confused1:

However, just in case you're been absolutely serious in your reply then perhaps you'd be so good as to enlighten me about the breed a little further. Should you choose to do so then I must warn you now, if you copy/paste hogwash from the internet I will know :yesnod: :wink:



GingerRogers said:


> Zaros if you weren't already it seems you need to be very scared now :crying:


:huho you think the wearing adult diapers is something I seriously need to consider just in case he decides to turn on me then?



Mulish said:


> I entirely agree. Zaros you need to start charging through Oscars legs as fast as you can, show him who's boss!


I often done this on many occasions and he loves it. Troube is he pulls a fast one by dropping his massive bulk onto me.

Perhaps I've complacently misread the signs of his enthusiasm to play along and in actual fact he's just trying to asphyxiate me. :blush:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

BessieDog said:


> You can take the girl out of Essex....,
> 
> She's an Essex girl! She spends her life in the sun!
> 
> And when exactly is the OP coming back?


Poor soul has probably lost the will to post.


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## BeauNoir (Sep 16, 2012)

I have a grooming question - I really want to dye my dog red and green for Christmas (he's skinny like a twig, may as well make him a candy cane) but he is black, so how many packets of bleach will it take to lighten a greyhound? I have about £8 on my boots card.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

SirHiss said:


> These look quite fetching, don't you think?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Those dogs - why . . . They're . . . they're . . . BEAUTIFUL!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

BeauNoir said:


> I have a grooming question - I really want to dye my dog red and green for Christmas (he's skinny like a twig, may as well make him a candy cane) but he is black, so how many packets of bleach will it take to lighten a greyhound? I have about £8 on my boots card.


I think the best thing would be to remove the black with a blowtorch. You would then be left with a hairless (though somewhat crispy) dog, which could be economically painted using whatever you have to hand in the shed.

You can keep your Boots Card bounty to treat yourself to matching temporary hair dyes.

BTW - your dog's hair may NEVER grow back, but as any woman will know, personal agony is a small price to pay for beauty and/or fashion. You may have to invest in a onesie for the cold weather (for the dog, that is)


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Zaros said:


> As I didn't want to ignore your post I'd like to present you with the following problem;
> 
> Oscar (Saplaninac) has become a great concern to me of late.
> 
> ...


I think it is obvious, Zaros, that he is trying to spoil your fun with your human companion. Either that or he has heard so many people tell you you could ride him, that he thinks he will give it a try. I think the former myself.


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## ClaireandDaisy (Jul 4, 2010)

Yes please!!!!! I have a question!!!!!




SO......what qualifications do you have? 

references would be nice too. 

thanks!


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## BeauNoir (Sep 16, 2012)

lostbear said:


> I think the best thing would be to remove the black with a blowtorch. You would then be left with a hairless (though somewhat crispy) dog, which could be economically painted using whatever you have to hand in the shed.
> 
> You can keep your Boots Card bounty to treat yourself to matching temporary hair dyes.
> 
> BTW - your dog's hair may NEVER grow back, but as any woman will know, personal agony is a small price to pay for beauty and/or fashion. You may have to invest in a onesie for the cold weather (for the dog, that is)


Brilliant idea - he already has multiple onesies and the wife is always going on about getting a hairless!

Off to the shed... I'll post pictures when he's good n' toasty. :wink:


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

lostbear said:


> I think the best thing would be to remove the black with a blowtorch. You would then be left with a hairless (though somewhat crispy) dog, which could be economically painted using whatever you have to hand in the shed.
> 
> You can keep your Boots Card bounty to treat yourself to matching temporary hair dyes.
> 
> BTW - your dog's hair may NEVER grow back, but as any woman will know, personal agony is a small price to pay for beauty and/or fashion. You may have to invest in a onesie for the cold weather (for the dog, that is)


Or, either a sack, back and follow my drift? :w00t: Then invest in a can of black spray paint  May save the loss of hair via blowtorch


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## Bloodraine5252 (Jan 13, 2013)

This.Thread.Is.Awesome!


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

4RottyGirl said:


> You need to either get UN scared of this dog and take charge as well as get him fixed immediately. If you are not going to take charge and follow thru then he's better off elsewhere. And considering breed and signs of dominance, I would consult a trainer experienced with that behavior.


OMG! Dominance theory as well? Are you serious?

I have a question please: How do you groom the bum of a 12 stone dog who decides that the best way to keep you away is to sit on it and refuse to move? Bearing in mind that the only person available, me, is only 9 stone.

I suppose I shouldn't laugh, really, a woman in my elevated position, but this has really made my day!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

BeauNoir said:


> Brilliant idea - he already has multiple onesies and the wife is always going on about getting a hairless!
> 
> Off to the shed... I'll post pictures when he's good n' toasty. :wink:


See - a bit of lateral thinking and you have killed two birds (and possibly one dog) with a single blowtorch/stone!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> OMG! Dominance theory as well? Are you serious?
> 
> I have a question please: How do you groom the bum of a 12 stone dog who decides that the best way to keep you away is to sit on it and refuse to move? Bearing in mind that the only person available, me, is only 9 stone.
> 
> I suppose I shouldn't laugh, really, a woman in my elevated position, but this has really made my day!


We have the same problem with Loki - (12+ stones). It is a three-person job, and he has short hair.


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## Tyton (Mar 9, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> I have a question please: How do you groom the bum of a 12 stone dog who decides that the best way to keep you away is to sit on it and refuse to move? Bearing in mind that the only person available, me, is 9 stone?


I know you were asking tongue in cheek, but having been there too - I usually end up kneeling one side with my arms under Tyton holding/cajoling him up while OH does the grooming. OH suggested a chair/pouffe. Stand the dog over it so he can't sit down as his stomach is supported. Has worked for ours.

Alternative is have a play wrestle til he's upside down on his back, all four furry legs in the air and groom the tangles out while he's wriggling on his back (that's my method )


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## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

lostbear said:


> I'm afraid that all you can do with that is shower it with LOVE! :smile5:
> 
> EDIT: How do you keep a light-coloured carpet so pristine? Or do you have a new one fitted every week? (and if so, do you negotiate BOGOF deals, and how would I go about it?)


PHOTOSHOP!

....Okay! It isn't actually my carpet  It's my mum's. I have wooden floors. Admittedly, having dogs defeated my carpets a long time ago 

My mum is a kept woman... Waaaaay too much time on her hands


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

newfiesmum said:


> *I think it is obvious, Zaros,* that* he is trying to spoil your fun with your human companion.* Either that or he has heard so many people tell you you could ride him, that he thinks he will give it a try. I think the former myself.


Ah! It's all becoming very clear to me now.

He doesn't like the idea of me going to bed anytime before midnight and he doesn't like the idea of me laying in bed anytime after 4:00am. Hence his all too reliable bloody wake up calls.

So now you're trying too tell me he's calculated that if he does me irreparable physical damage it would inevitably mean I spend less time with my wife and more time with him.

Oh my good God!

This must be what they meant when they claimed the Sar' was a forward thinker.

I thought Oscar was just a demanding dog but now I realise he really is dominant.

I know it's a bit late in the day now but I think I should have invested in at least one doggy book. :blushing:


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## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

Oh! That brings up a new question... My mum sent me that picture after I told her Skip wouldn't dig in her garden... So, how do you over-ride the natural terrier instinct to dig? 

As for going with the Vegas style, grooming wise... I think I'd be smacked in the face, here in Scotland if I said to a groomer, "you know, like they do in Vegas?"


----------



## Freddie and frank (Mar 26, 2012)

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

:thumbup:

That's all I have to say about this thread. .........cause I'm not quick witted enough to add a post, but it's entertaining.


----------



## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

4RottyGirl said:


> You need to either get UN scared of this dog and take charge as well as get him fixed immediately. *If you are not going to take charge* and follow thru then *he's better off elsewhere.* And *considering breed *and signs of dominance, I would consult a trainer experienced with that behavior.


Apologies to those who were deriving a great deal of amusement and pleasure from the reading of this thread, but from here on in, my attitude takes a decidely duller tone.

Since reading the above post I've allowed your words to fester within me, and, in all seriousness, I'm actually quite upset that you dared to submit the above without first asking about Oscar's age/immediate environment/standards of living/how we've provided for his everyday needs and requirements/health care etc, etc, etc.

More so because you further claimed to have 'considered the breed.'

What's more, you angered greatly me with your flippant remark 'If you're not going to take charge he's better off elsewhere.'

Well let me tell you something now; if we hadn't have 'taken charge' of Oscar and he had been 'elsewhere' then the poor bloody dog wouldn't have been alive today.:angry:

Speechless!


----------



## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

My terriers don't dig...are they broken?
Should I get new ones? They don't match any of the furniture, so it might be a good idea.


----------



## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

Zaros said:


> Apologies to those who were deriving a great deal of amusement and pleasure from the reading of this thread, but from here on in, my attitude takes a decidely duller tone.
> 
> Since reading the above post I've allowed your words to fester within me, and, in all seriousness, I'm actually quite upset that you dared to submit the above without first asking about Oscar's age/immediate environment/standards of living/how we've provided for his everyday needs and requirements/health care etc, etc, etc.
> 
> ...


I did pick up on that too... But I didn't think it was my place to say anything :nonod:


----------



## Tigerneko (Jan 2, 2009)

4RottyGirl said:


> You need to either get UN scared of this dog and take charge as well as get him fixed immediately. If you are not going to take charge and follow thru then he's better off elsewhere. And considering breed and signs of dominance, I would consult a trainer experienced with that behavior.


I'd definitely 'follow thru' if Oscar charged at me!

:scared:


----------



## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

I have to agree with Zaros, despite the levity of the thread, it's horrible that someone would suggest rehoming based off ONE forum post that they didn't even interpret right.

I've always said I wish there was a rule on forums about suggesting rehoming and worse euthanasia. It's such a double edged sword this information age...

It's often those with no credentials, no experience, no significant knowledge, who are the quickest to tell random strangers to rehome or PTS their dog. 
Meanwhile those who DO know what their talking about, know enough to know you can't diagnose a dog over the internet and stay quiet.

Sorry to get serious on an otherwise very funny thread  
Off my soap box now!


----------



## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

ouesi said:


> I have to agree with Zaros, despite the levity of the thread, it's horrible that someone would suggest rehoming based off ONE forum post that they didn't even interpret right.
> 
> I've always said I wish there was a rule on forums about suggesting rehoming and worse euthanasia. It's such a double edged sword this information age...
> 
> ...


Agree. I think the OP needs to be rehomed to another forum. Actually no, because there isn't anyone daft enough on here to believe this twaddle and enough very clever people who know far more than this person does without many years of experience in the dark crevices of dominance theory.


----------



## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Lauren5159 said:


> I did pick up on that too... But I didn't think it was my place to say anything :nonod:


It's a public forum, you would have been well within your rights to question the post.:yesnod:

In the beginning I allowed the words to slide but as I've previously said, the words have gone rotten.

If we had listened to the experts, if we had listened to most vets opinions Oscar would have been destroyed just over three years ago.

It's a bloody good job I wasn't easily influenced or convinced back then because if I had been then wouldn't have been able to submit my original post and it wouldn't have been able to flush out a charlatan. :wink:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Lauren5159 said:


> PHOTOSHOP!
> 
> ....Okay! It isn't actually my carpet  It's my mum's. I have wooden floors. Admittedly, having dogs defeated my carpets a long time ago
> 
> My mum is a kept woman... Waaaaay too much time on her hands


My God - how I envy her


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## Alice Childress (Nov 14, 2010)

For someone to come online and announce that they are an expert in all things dog (with no prior knowledge to the level or expertise of the forums established members), and then go on and start spouting dominance theory (a demunked, out dated, disproven theory 4RottyGirl), is ridiculous and quite scary. Not to mention then flippantly suggesting someone rehome their dog  

I'm afraid 4RottyGirl that you have exposed yourself as someone who is not up to date with dog behaviour, and hence should not be offering any advise to people on the assumption that you are an expert. I recommend you go and read up on 'the dominance myth'.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Zaros said:


> Ah! It's all becoming very clear to me now.
> 
> He doesn't like the idea of me going to bed anytime before midnight and he doesn't like the idea of me laying in bed anytime after 4:00am. Hence his all too reliable bloody wake up calls.
> 
> ...


Damn right! You could have clipped him round the ear with it when he tried his back-street neutering methods!

(To save your blushes, I won't ask if he has been successful)


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Lauren5159 said:


> Oh! That brings up a new question... My mum sent me that picture after I told her Skip wouldn't dig in her garden... So, how do you over-ride the natural terrier instinct to dig?
> 
> As for going with the Vegas style, grooming wise... I* think I'd be smacked in the face, here in Scotland if I said to a groomer, "you know, like they do in Vegas?"*


*
*

And quite right, too. In fact, if someone killed you I'm pretty sure they would get a verdict of 'justifiable homicide' - no jury would convict.:nonod:


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## JenKyzer (Jun 25, 2013)

Ok guys... You've had your fun.. Please can we ask serious questions now.. OP is clearly experienced and may take her time replying as she must be such a busy lady with her abilities  

My serious question... Is my dog broke/am i just a rubbish owner??
I see you can talk dominance so u may be able to help my awfuly rude shar pei.

Problem number..
1. She sleeps all day. Is she trying to be alpha as she sleeps when i don't ? Should i sleep too & i be the one to wake her up with a good shake??
2. Insists on getting in bed with us.. & inbetween us.. Is she trying to break us up?? OH says she just wants a cuddle...... Does he love her more than me!?
3. Wants feeding before us.. Should i shut her away in a dark room until we have eaten or is it ok to feed before us then she sleeps when we eat?? 
4. Dislikes other dogs... My positive clicker methods & using a lead clearly arent working as she still grumbles at other dogs after my hard work for 4months. I want other dogs to run up to us crazily offlead whilst their owners dont care & her not to bat an eyelid!!!! I would love to offlead her and let her run wild too whilst i check PF on my phone.. is this ok??

I was going to email Jeremy Kyle with our issues but hopefully you can help


----------



## Tigerneko (Jan 2, 2009)

Zaros said:


> Apologies to those who were deriving a great deal of amusement and pleasure from the reading of this thread, but from here on in, my attitude takes a decidely duller tone.
> 
> Since reading the above post I've allowed your words to fester within me, and, in all seriousness, I'm actually quite upset that you dared to submit the above without first asking about Oscar's age/immediate environment/standards of living/how we've provided for his everyday needs and requirements/health care etc, etc, etc.
> 
> ...


Yep, on a serious note, the OP really should probably reconsider most of this 'advice' she is giving out, especially since the majority of it she has given so far has been inaccurate, thoughtless and downright dangerous!

In fact, I don't think i've ever seen such an arrogant, condescending attitude on a forum - just to pitch up and profess to be the fountain of all knowledge to a forum with thousands of members, as though she knows more than ALL of us put together :nonod:

I would love to hear of her experience with Sarplaninacs, it must be pretty extensive if she's able to immediately 'diagnose' Oscars' behaviour from one single post.... especially given that it obviously wasn't a 'serious' one in the first place!

Lets hope one of her four Rottweilers never decides to run towards her :scared:


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Gemmaa said:


> My terriers don't dig...are they broken?
> Should I get new ones? They don't match any of the furniture, so it might be a good idea.


They may not be irreparably broken. Try murdering someone and burying them in a shallow, unmarked grave in the garden. If, when the police come round, your dogs don't drop you in it by appearing covered with soil, and each clutching a decaying body part, then yes - you need new ones. Have you had these long? They may still be covered by the warranty (An extended warranty is always a good idea with terriers - there are so many ways they can break-down due to the high-excitability factor - and of course, although most of them are British designed, a lot of them aren't produced in British factories any more, so getting the parts is difficult - you may have to import some 'dig and destroy' chromosomes from as far away as Taiwan, and quite frankly, the quality isn't there.)

I think re-cycling your old ones (little old ladies tend to really like terriers, and I daresay that if you contributed them to a jumble sale, someone would maim a neighbour to get them) and getting new, shiny, furniture appropriate terriers would be a good idea.

One of the joys of terrier ownership is being able to look out of the kitchen window, at what looks like an artist's depiction of 'no-man's land' after the Battle of the Somme, and think - "Only this morning we had grass and flowers in there", and then be able to turn to the living room, clear the flying unpholstery stuffing out of your eyes, and start working out which bit of debris used to be the sofa, and which a chair etc. I pity you for missing out on this because of your sub-standard terriers. Of course, if you tried to save money by buying reconditioned, or factory-seconds, you have only yourself to blame, I'm afraid.:nonod:


----------



## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

*peers over her copy of Cesar Millan: Be The Pack Leader.*

So Zaros, I think what we can interpret, is that whenever Oscar tries to get between your legs and topple you to the floor, you should be trying with all your strength, to pin him to the floor. After all, that's what an aloha wolf would do right? 

In all fairness, I think a big wolf would have trouble pinning Oscar to the floor, so you may need help with this... 

You see, PF people, WE are boss! WE make the rules. Our dogs ARE below us. WE must all make a stand! Exercise, discipline and THEN affection... 

Animal, dog and THEN breed! 

Rules, boundaries an limitations...

THAT is where we are going wrong with our unruly dogs! 

HAIL CESAR!!!!

:nonod::huh:


----------



## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

lostbear said:


> They may not be irreparably broken. Try murdering someone and burying them in a shallow, unmarked grave in the garden. If, when the police come round, your dogs don't drop you in it by appearing covered with soil, and each clutching a decaying body part, then yes - you need new ones. Have you had these long? They may still be covered by the warranty (An extended warranty is always a good idea with terriers - there are so many ways they can break-down due to the high-excitability factor - and of course, although most of them are British designed, a lot of them aren't produced in British factories any more, so getting the parts is difficult - you may have to import some 'dig and destroy' chromosomes from as far away as Taiwan, and quite frankly, the quality isn't there.)
> 
> I think re-cycling your old ones (little old ladies tend to really like terriers, and I daresay that if you contributed them to a jumble sale, someone would maim a neighbour to get them) and getting new, shiny, furniture appropriate terriers would be a good idea.
> 
> One of the joys of terrier ownership is being able to look out of the kitchen window, at what looks like an artist's depiction of 'no-man's land' after the Battle of the Somme, and think - "Only this morning we had grass and flowers in there", and then be able to turn to the living room, clear the flying unpholstery stuffing out of your eyes, and start working out which bit of debris used to be the sofa, and which a chair etc. I pity you for missing out on this because of your sub-standard terriers. Of course, if you tried to save money by buying reconditioned, or factory-seconds, you have only yourself to blame, I'm afraid.:nonod:


Well, at least my terrier isn't broken...

Quite the contrary, I think he's very well made! But then, so was all my furniture, until I brought him home :blush:

Maybe he's just soooo dominant that in his eyes, the only good thing I should have, is him...


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Tigerneko said:


> I would love to hear of her experience with Sarplaninacs, it must be pretty extensive if she's able to immediately 'diagnose' Oscars' behaviour from one single post.... especially given that it obviously wasn't a 'serious' one in the first place!


*To be honest, and I'm ashamed to admit this, but I've been deliberately leading the OP astray just as I have many folks regarding Oscar's temperament.

For example;

This is me with Oscar.



The picture is an illusion.:sad:

I'm having to pretend we're having a tender few moments together when, in the face of harsh reality, my hand is actually laid stewing in the bottom of his stomach.

The arm it was once attached to trapped firmly up to the elbow between his very large bone breaking jaws. *:blush:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Lauren5159 said:


> **peers over her copy of Cesar Millan: Be The Pack Leader.**
> 
> Not sure if I would be letting people know if I had my own copy of this . . .
> 
> ...


You've got me worried now - you don't have any plans for annexing the Sudetenland and then marching into poland, do you?

Only askin'.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Zaros said:


> *To be honest, and I'm ashamed to admit this, but I've been deliberately leading the OP astray just as I have many folks regarding Oscar's temperament.
> 
> For example;
> 
> ...


Holy sweet eggs and biscuits! That is one BIG dog!


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## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

lostbear said:


> You've got me worried now - you don't have any plans for annexing the Sudetenland and then marching into poland, do you?
> 
> Only askin'.


HOW DO YOU KNOW?!!!

Shhh, don't tell anyone!

P.S. I don't have a copy. I actually had to Google the name of one of his books lol.


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## PennyGSD (Apr 16, 2012)

Zaros said:


> *
> This is me with Oscar.
> 
> 
> :*


*

We need more pictures. Many, many more pictures.*


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Lauren5159 said:


> HOW DO YOU KNOW?!!!
> 
> Shhh, don't tell anyone!
> 
> ...


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

Lauren5159 said:


> *peers over her copy of Cesar Millan: Be The Pack Leader.*
> 
> So Zaros, I think what we can interpret, is that whenever Oscar tries to get between your legs and topple you to the floor, you should be trying with all your strength, to pin him to the floor. After all, that's what an *aloha wolf* would do right?
> 
> ...


Just for everybody's reference this is an Aloha dog, a close relation to the Aloha wolf:


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Tyton said:


> I know you were asking tongue in cheek, but having been there too - I usually end up kneeling one side with my arms under Tyton holding/cajoling him up while OH does the grooming. OH suggested a chair/pouffe. Stand the dog over it so he can't sit down as his stomach is supported. Has worked for ours.
> 
> Alternative is have a play wrestle til he's upside down on his back, all four furry legs in the air and groom the tangles out while he's wriggling on his back (that's my method )


All very good if there are two of you, but there is only me. I gave up long ago, just have a quick go when he is lying down. Trouble is, he always lies on the same side so he always has one side scruffy.



Zaros said:


> Apologies to those who were deriving a great deal of amusement and pleasure from the reading of this thread, but from here on in, my attitude takes a decidely duller tone.
> 
> Since reading the above post I've allowed your words to fester within me, and, in all seriousness, I'm actually quite upset that you dared to submit the above without first asking about Oscar's age/immediate environment/standards of living/how we've provided for his everyday needs and requirements/health care etc, etc, etc.
> 
> ...


Colin, we all know you have more known of the livestock guardian, and especially Sars, than anyone else on here and so does Oscar, so don't get upset.

This has happened before when someone joined announcing themselves a dog behaviourist with no qualifications and spouting rubbish. She got sorted out as well, but it was not nearly so funny.

(Behave, Margaret - you are supposed to be a moderator)


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## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

bearcub said:


> Just for everybody's reference this is an Aloha dog, a close relation to the Aloha wolf:


LMAO! My bad!

But I do like the Aloha dog much more than an Alpha dog


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## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

lostbear said:


> Lauren5159 said:
> 
> 
> > HOW DO YOU KNOW?!!!
> ...


----------



## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

Lauren5159 said:


> Just reading through this thread is cheering me up
> 
> I have a question regarding grooming. What in the world can one do with...
> 
> THIS!!!


Gas Mark IV for 90 minutes and serve with a nice Chianti.


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> I have a question please: How do you groom the bum of a 12 stone dog who decides that the best way to keep you away is to sit on it and refuse to move? Bearing in mind that the only person available, me, is only 9 stone.
> 
> I suppose I shouldn't laugh, really, a woman in my elevated position, but this has really made my day!





lostbear said:


> We have the same problem with Loki - (12+ stones). It is a three-person job, and he has short hair.


You could try some Veet for Men - Home

Have one cold bucket of water ready to chuck over yourself when you realise what a stupid deed you did and your vet on speed dial:w00t:


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

diefenbaker said:


> Gas Mark IV for 90 minutes and serve with a nice Chianti.


Don't forget the Fava beans!


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## Meezey (Jan 29, 2013)

Ohhh you guys make me laugh, just noticed OP's threads and she is expert in lots of things  Maybe I should ask for help with my Rottweiler who insist on taking up all the sofa, sit on our laps still, who thinks he's a cat and howls the place down when the little piggy goes wee wee wee all the way home


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## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

Meezey said:


> Ohhh you guys make me laugh, just noticed OP's threads and she is expert in lots of things  Maybe I should ask for help with my Rottweiler who insist on taking up all the sofa, sit on our laps still, who thinks he's a cat and howls the place down when the little piggy goes wee wee wee all the way home


You get no help! There is no help for a Rottie with such horrible manners.

Looks like your only option is to send him my way


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Meezey said:


> Ohhh you guys make me laugh, just noticed OP's threads and she is expert in lots of things  Maybe I should ask for help with my Rottweiler who insist on taking up all the sofa, sit on our laps still, who thinks he's a cat and howls the place down when the little piggy goes wee wee wee all the way home


You MUST NOT put up with this DOMINANT behaviour.

WRESTLE him to the GROUND. KEEP him there (have the local emergency room on speed dial). INSIST that he sings the words and doesn't just howl. And MAKE him get a MOP and CLEAN UP after your badly trained PIGGY, too.

People like you should not have pets!


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## Milliepoochie (Feb 13, 2011)

I need some help - 

My girl Millie (In my sig below) is 4.5 years old. 

Over the last year she has got increasingly grey around the muzzle area  andis now spreading to her ears and the back of her neck 

Why has she gone so grey so early in life? and what way can I remedy this?

Hubby was working on the car on Staurday and did consider smothering her muzzle in oil  but we are now looking for a more permanent solution.:w00t:

Any ideas?

Millie is my first dog so im quite a novice really and we really dont know where to turn?


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## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

Meezey said:


> Ohhh you guys make me laugh, just noticed OP's threads and she is expert in lots of things


Oh good. I'm having some problems with my Large Hadron Collider. I appear to have inadvertently created a black-hole and the world is coming to an imminent end. Please get back to me ASAP.


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## BeauNoir (Sep 16, 2012)

Milliepoochie said:


> Hubby was working on the car on Staurday and did consider smothering her muzzle in oil  but we are now looking for a more permanent solution.:w00t


I just use mascara on Quinn. Although doing it in teal is way more fun than black. :w00t:

OP will be able to tell us what brand is best for definition. :001_tongue:


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## Bobbie (May 3, 2008)

Well as I was the first to ask a question its a bit much that I get no reply:nonod:


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## Westy (Feb 19, 2013)

Did anyone see her other posts? Very broad experience.

Yesterday, 06:27 AM
4RottyGirl 
_ 2 Green Spotted Puffers -Las Vegas, NV
2 green spotted puffers with complete set up, tank is brackish. Make me an offer, they come with everything. I'm in northwest las vegas.
_

and

Yesterday, 06:14 AM
4RottyGirl 4RottyGirl is offline
Pet Forums Newbie

_Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 16
4RottyGirl is on a distinguished road
Experienced Chin Owner Here to Help!
I am very familiar with pet chinchillas and keeping them properly cared for. Please feel free to come to me with any questions!_


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

SirHiss said:


> You could try some Veet for Men - Home
> 
> Have one cold bucket of water ready to chuck over yourself when you realise what a stupid deed you did and your vet on speed dial:w00t:


Actually, somebody seriously suggested that to me once, when I was having so much trouble with Joshua. He had a very unstable stomach and I was always having to wash his bum, which meant sedating him because he would bite if you went near his bum. She thought it would be a good idea to put hair remover cream on his bum when he was asleep.

You have to be careful what you suggest on this forum; you never know who may be watching:nonod::blush:


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Westy said:


> Did anyone see her other posts? Very broad experience.
> 
> Yesterday, 06:27 AM
> 4RottyGirl
> ...


I'm not sure what a green spotted puffer is, but Las Vegas is rather a long way to go for one. Obviously doesn't realise this is a mainly UK forum, though I suppose one of our American guests might be interested in a green spotted puffer.:crying:


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

lostbear said:


> Holy sweet eggs and biscuits! That is one BIG dog!


People keep telling us the exact same thing here too.:yesnod:

But always from a distance.:wink:

To us he doesn't appear big at all. To us he's just a baby.

But on a very sad note, Oscar is much hated in the area we live because of his overall size and they often do stupid things to make him even more suspicious of their presence.

That's why we all like Grandma's house.:001_smile:

The folks in Grandma's village have known my wife since she was a wee thing and have come to accept the silly things she often does in life.

Things such as owning dogs as big as cows, as they once described them, and marrying a crazy englishman. :wink:


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Zaros said:


> People keep telling us the exact same thing here too.:yesnod:
> 
> But always from a distance.:wink:
> 
> ...


I am always getting told that mine are massive, but they don't look that big to me. I just think that retriever, GSDs, etc have shrunk! Definitely not as big as they used to be. I would love to meet Oscar and Zara.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

diefenbaker said:


> Oh good. I'm having some problems with my Large Hadron Collider. I appear to have inadvertently created a black-hole and the world is coming to an imminent end. Please get back to me ASAP.


Oh, Bollix - not again!

Now I have to eat the entire contents of my emergency chocolate tin so that they are not wasted. The number of times I've had to do this because you insist on messing about with the fabric of the universe - I'm getting pretty fed up!

This had better not be another false alarm. The last time I was forced to devour 19 Fry's chocolate cream bars in a single sitting, and obviously I have replenished them, as well as adding some minty aeros and some After eights. If you make me sick for nothing, I'm going to be very very angry!

Lucky for you I can't run very fast, or I would have caught you and brayed your lights out after the last time!


----------



## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Milliepoochie said:


> I need some help -
> 
> *My girl Millie (In my sig below) is 4.5 years old.
> 
> ...



The enclosed product works on various things that look aged by time and weather

Whether it will do for you only time will tell.:wink:


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Zaros said:


> People keep telling us the exact same thing here too.:yesnod:
> 
> But always from a distance.:wink:
> 
> ...


It's the same with our great dane - we are so used to him he looks like a 'normal' dog to us, and it's only when we hear children saying "Daddy, that girl's got a horse" in Pets at Home, that we realise he is a little larger than your average family pet. But of course, he doesn't have the sheer massive bulk of your dogs (I'm sure they're just big-boned)


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## Howl (Apr 10, 2012)

Gemmaa said:


> My terriers don't dig...are they broken?
> Should I get new ones? They don't match any of the furniture, so it might be a good idea.


I was going to ask this. My griffs scurf about and snuffle into the sofa but have so far never dug a hole even at the beach 
If the breed standard says this is a known behaviour can I ask for my money back?

Also despite being pretty trainable I have yet to manage to train her to lie down. I have tried all the tricks. Is she being dominant :001_tongue:


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## BeauNoir (Sep 16, 2012)

How can I get my greyhound to sit?


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## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

lostbear said:


> Oh, Bollix - not again!
> Now I have to eat the entire contents of my emergency chocolate tin so that they are not wasted. The number of times I've had to do this because you insist on messing about with the fabric of the universe - I'm getting pretty fed up!


Make sure you keep any foil wrapping and make a hat to shield your brain. There's a serious photon leakage here and I'm running short of dilithium crystals to plug the hole. It's not time to retreat to the bunker yet but I would recommend making your next post from under the table.


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Bobbie said:


> Ok a question about grooming. I have a Rough collie and no matter how much I groom the hair behind the ears one shake of his head and he looks like a mad professor. I do know its to do with the wax behind the ears but they always look like I haven't bothered to groom them.





Bobbie said:


> Well as I was the first to ask a question its a bit much that I get no reply:nonod:


Never fear an idiot's here!

Applying similar reasoning to that of the OP I am now quite able to address your little problem on their behalf.

If they're causing you so much bother it is possible to have them removed and then either sewn together to make a nice little purse or simply turned into novelty ear rings.

Let me know which you would prefer and I'll book you in somewhere.:wink:


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## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

BeauNoir said:


> How can I get my greyhound to sit?


Place him in front of this thread and give him some popcorn.


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## Julesky (Feb 10, 2012)

BeauNoir said:


> How can I get my greyhound to sit?


Offer him/her a seat


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

newfiesmum said:


> I am always getting told that mine are massive, but they don't look that big to me. I just think that retriever, GSDs, etc have shrunk! Definitely not as big as they used to be. * I would love to meet Oscar and Zara*.


And once you had returned back to england you would no doubt ban me for life because of Zara's bad behaviour. :yesnod: 
:wink:


----------



## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

newfiesmum said:


> OMG! Dominance theory as well? Are you serious?
> 
> I have a question please: *How do you groom the bum of a 12 stone dog who decides that the best way to keep you away is to sit on it and refuse to move? Bearing in mind that the only person available, me, is only 9 stone.*
> 
> I suppose I shouldn't laugh, really, a woman in my elevated position, but this has really made my day!


Move nearer to me & I'll get the kids to all lie under him so he can't sit down, give him a pile of roast chicken to eat & the in the resulting distraction we can give his bum a good going over :w00t: simples


----------



## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

lostbear said:


> It's the same with our great dane - we are so used to him he looks like a 'normal' dog to us, and it's only when we hear children saying "Daddy, that girl's got a horse" in Pets at Home, that we realise *he is a little larger than your average family pet. But of course, he doesn't have the sheer massive bulk of your dogs (I'm sure they're just big-boned)*


The skeletal frame on a Sar' is heavy boned, just as all Molossers are, but what makes them appear so large in life is their incredibly thick 3 ply coats.

However, there are exceptions to their size standard of course and poor Oscar just happens to be one of those exceptions.

Bless his little cottons.:blush:


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

Milliepoochie said:


> I need some help -
> 
> My girl Millie (In my sig below) is 4.5 years old.
> 
> ...


:idea:

Rather than trying to disguise the grey why not use it as an opportunity to change Millie's hair colour altogether?


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

diefenbaker said:


> Make sure you keep any foil wrapping and make a hat to shield your brain. There's a serious photon leakage here and I'm running short of dilithium crystals to plug the hole. It's not time to retreat to the bunker yet but I would recommend making your next post from under the table.


I'm securely sub-tabled and enfoiled - they don't put foil on the sweets these days, so I've had to use kitchen stuff. Not as colourful as I'd like, but it'll do - in the post-apocalyptic world I may possibly be fortunate enough to wake up in, I doubt thare'll be much in the way of haute courture anyway.

There is a large spider under this table. Will I mutate with it, like in that documentary film with Jeff Goldblum and that fly? (I think it was a documentary - it was about the last time one of your 'little experiments' went wrong, I think). I don't mind being a spider mutation, but should I get some extra socks?


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

diefenbaker said:


> Place him in front of this thread and give him some popcorn.


She's trying to get him to sit, not forcing him into a coma!


----------



## Milliepoochie (Feb 13, 2011)

bearcub said:


> :idea:
> 
> Rather than trying to disguise the grey why not use it as an opportunity to change Millie's hair colour altogether?


Well it would give her a more 'distinguished' look!

There we were trying to hide it when we should of been embracing it all along


----------



## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Zaros said:


> And once you had returned back to england you would no doubt ban me for life because of Zara's bad behaviour. :yesnod:
> :wink:


I think I'm quite used to a badly behaved giant dog! Has she ever had to have the fire brigade out to rescue her from the river, or had the police turn up because she refused to get out of the car?


----------



## Mulish (Feb 20, 2013)

diefenbaker said:


> Oh good. I'm having some problems with my Large Hadron Collider. I appear to have inadvertently created a black-hole and the world is coming to an imminent end. Please get back to me ASAP.


My Ceasar Salad's Guide to Showing Physics Who's Boss book says you should try turning it off and then back on again.


----------



## Freddie and frank (Mar 26, 2012)

Zaros said:


> *To be honest, and I'm ashamed to admit this, but I've been deliberately leading the OP astray just as I have many folks regarding Oscar's temperament.
> 
> For example;
> 
> ...


BIG DOG.....BIG POOPER SCOOPER.....top left hand corner :biggrin:

Fabulous dogs btw.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

BeauNoir said:


> How can I get my greyhound to sit?


Obviously !!! - give up your seat on the sofa and offer it to him / her!! What are you thinking of expecting the poor hound to sit on the FLOOR !!:nonod:


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Mulish said:


> My Ceasar Salad's Guide to Showing Physics Who's Boss book says you should try turning it off and then back on again.


That's a thought - have you checked that it's plugged in?


----------



## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

lostbear said:


> There is a large spider under this table. Will I mutate with it, like in that documentary film with Jeff Goldblum and that fly? (I think it was a documentary - it was about the last time one of your 'little experiments' went wrong, I think). I don't mind being a spider mutation, but should I get some extra socks?


The spider is one of my operatives. As him about the weather in Minsk to make contact then pass him the brown envelope.


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

diefenbaker said:


> The spider is one of my operatives. As him about the weather in Minsk to make contact then pass him the brown envelope.


Too late! I used the envelope to splat him with. Now it's raining. It looks as though it might continue for forty days and forty nights. My ark is in the other room and there appears to be a small Leviathan in the kitchen. It is eating crisps. Is this The Apocalypse?


----------



## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

lostbear said:


> Too late! I used the envelope to splat him with. Now it's raining. It looks as though it might continue for forty days and forty nights. My ark is in the other room and there appears to be a small Leviathan in the kitchen. It is eating crisps. Is this The Apocalypse?


It depends on the flavour of the crisps. If they are Worcester Sauce it is time to retreat to the bunker. Do not come out until you are given the all-clear in this thread.


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

diefenbaker said:


> It depends on the flavour of the crisps. If they are Worcester Sauce it is time to retreat to the bunker. Do not come out until you are given the all-clear in this thread.


It is worse - they are prawn cocktail. There were 217 bags of them in the cupboard because I get the variety packs but nobody likes these. It has eaten them all and is now wrestling with a Behemoth for possession of the fridge contents!

Well! Well done you! (sarcastic voice) You've caused the end of the world AGAIN! You just never learn, do you? I suppose you're pleased with yourself!

Well, let me tell you it isn't big, and it isn't clever!

Oh - hang on - yes it is. . . .

If I survive this latest episode, I'm going to drag you down here by your electrons and stick a broom in your hand and make you clean up all the Leviathan and Behemoth pooh - that stuff is NASTY!


----------



## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

lostbear said:


> If I survive this latest episode, I'm going to drag you down here by your electrons and stick a broom in your hand and make you clean up all the Leviathan and Behemoth pooh - that stuff is NASTY!


Judging by the last posts in this thread it's just you and me left now. And I'm about to be atomised by the flux capacitor. The future of mankind is in your hands. There's no pressure.


----------



## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

diefenbaker said:


> Judging by the last posts in this thread it's just you and me left now. And I'm about to be atomised by the flux capacitor. The future of mankind is in your hands. There's no pressure.


You're just being silly now! Such an informative thread, brought to silliness, such a shame:nonod:


----------



## BeauNoir (Sep 16, 2012)

P.S. I will totally take all of those prawn cocktail crisps off your hands.

BESTEST FLAVOUR EVER


----------



## Mulish (Feb 20, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> You're just being silly now! Such an informative thread, brought to silliness, such a shame:nonod:


Just what I was thinking. As one of the leaders here, NM, maybe you should alpha roll them both?



BeauNoir said:


> P.S. I will totally take all of those prawn cocktail crisps off your hands.
> 
> BESTEST FLAVOUR EVER


I know! What is this blasphemy? We have full on fights of epic proportions the like of which hasn't been seen since the final battle in the Lord of The Rings trilogy over the prawn cocktail crisps in this house.

Maybe we are leviathans? It would explain the tentacles...


----------



## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Mulish said:


> Just what I was thinking. As one of the leaders here, NM, maybe you should alpha roll them both?


Ooh! That sounds like fun!


----------



## springerpete (Jun 24, 2010)

4RottyGirl said:


> Springers were bred to get dirty. Only things I can recommend is have a groomer clip the hair on his feet to help with dirt, keep him out of the mud.


I wish someone had told me that before I bought him, where were you.????


----------



## Meezey (Jan 29, 2013)

springerpete said:


> I wish someone had told me that before I bought him, where were you.????


OMG how did I miss this ahahahaaaahahahahahahahahah that has so just made my day not your response Pete, but the keep him out of the mud that is just priceless and has amused me no end........ So make sure when he's working next time you cover all the mud and puddles...


----------



## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

springerpete said:


> I wish someone had told me that before I bought him, where were you.????


In Las Vegas with two green spotted Puffers


----------



## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

I'd like to know if I've got time to have my tea before the end of the world, since it's a rather nice rib eye steak. And will I have to have it a bit rarer to make sure I manage to eat it before the world ends, or can I relax a bit if it's not imminent??


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

SirHiss said:


> In Las Vegas with two green spotted Puffers


You really know how to have a good time!


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> I'd like to know if I've got time to have my tea before the end of the world, since it's a rather nice rib eye steak. And will I have to have it a bit rarer to make sure I manage to eat it before the world ends, or can I relax a bit if it's not imminent??


Oh - have you not been vapourised either? Enjoy your steak - I expect it'll be well done soon enough.


----------



## springerpete (Jun 24, 2010)

I wonder if the OP has realised that her slightly pompous introduction has brought a reaction she wasn't expecting. Been some great responses though, I hope she has a sense of humour.


----------



## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

springerpete said:


> I wonder if the OP has realised that her slightly pompous introduction has brought a reaction she wasn't expecting. Been some great responses though, I hope she has a sense of humour.


I think they'll fit right in with me here, I've managed to get called arrogant today already


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

diefenbaker said:


> Judging by the last posts in this thread it's just you and me left now. And I'm about to be atomised by the flux capacitor. The future of mankind is in your hands. There's no pressure.


No probs - especially as four charming gentlemen on horseback have just turned up and are drinking tea in the kitchen. Apparently they were looking for a dragon. I said "Sorry, there's only me!" Oh, how we laughed!

One of them's got a nasty skin condition and a very runny nose - I don't fancy repopulating the world with him, and another is terribly thin (I gave him an extra bourbon). The other two aren't bad, though. . .


----------



## Picklelily (Jan 2, 2013)

Oscar clearly has been reading up on dominance theory and wants Zaros to take charge. The bumps to the nether regions are to get Zaros to empty his bladder and start territory marking. Obviously Oscar thinks you haven't adequately displayed your masculinity to err in doors and is plotting for you to spread your pheromone's around as any good bloke should. Once you do this fellers from miles around will come to challenge you for your good ladies hand. Your boy is such a romantic :001_tt1:

Unfortunately due to your negligent lack of peeing on corners, some of the fellers have turned up at Lostbear's house. Its not expected they will all survive as a couple of them are to her liking and the two that are left are much too skinny:crying: Pity because those horses would make a nice snack for Oscar. 


Could someone please update me on the end of the worlds progress? As I have a long and boring meeting to attend tonight. If the worlds going to end I really can't be bothered to go.

Lostbear I can help with the chocolate but not if I have to drink tea with those blokes you have round


----------



## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Meezey said:


> OMG how did I miss this ahahahaaaahahahahahahahahah that has so just made my day not your response Pete, but the keep him out of the mud that is just priceless and has amused me no end........ So make sure when he's working next time you cover all the mud and puddles...


Pete could always buy him some little bootees.



springerpete said:


> I wonder if the OP has realised that her slightly pompous introduction has brought a reaction she wasn't expecting. Been some great responses though, I hope she has a sense of humour.


I doubt it. She didn't seem to know that Zaros' post was pure sarcasm and has managed to upset him, which should get her banned for a start! I just cannot believe the audacity of some people, I really can't.


----------



## Meezey (Jan 29, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> Pete could always buy him some little bootees.
> 
> I doubt it. She didn't seem to know that Zaros' post was pure sarcasm and has managed to upset him, which should get her banned for a start! I just cannot believe the audacity of some people, I really can't.


 I know this forum has some very seriously knowledgeable people in all the sections, so a bit insulting to all those who have been here so long helping people, because of course what the hell have the 194,807 members been doing all this time with no one to answer their questions christ there must have been a collective sigh of relief that someone had come to save them from this void of ignorance..........................................


----------



## BessieDog (May 16, 2012)

I forget who posted the pics of the wigs (and not going back over umpteen pages to check), but one of those would cover Bess's ears nicely! 

Just don't know what the judge would think. 

Oh, the OP said that it didn't matter as I had a pet dog and didn't show! 

Slightly presumptuous of her!


----------



## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

BessieDog said:


> I forget who posted the pics of the wigs (and not going back over umpteen pages to check), but one of those would cover Bess's ears nicely!
> 
> Just don't know what the judge would think.
> 
> ...


It was me :001_tt1:

Theres more to feast your eyes upon, don't they look marvelous?

I can just picture members rushing out to buy some of those to keep their dogs warm this winter:w00t:


----------



## Julesky (Feb 10, 2012)

Are those dogs wearing wigs???

I thought that them post makeover 

Illusion ruined.

Off to break it to the dog.... he thought they were natural babes


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Picklelily said:


> Oscar clearly has been reading up on dominance theory and wants Zaros to take charge. The bumps to the nether regions are to get Zaros to empty his bladder and start territory marking. *Obviously Oscar thinks you haven't adequately displayed your masculinity to err in doors and is plotting for you to spread your pheromone's around as any good bloke should. Once you do this fellers from miles around will come to challenge you for your good ladies hand. *Your boy is such a romantic :001_tt1:
> 
> For crying out loud, don't encourage territory marking. It's bad enough that blokes pee round the back of pubs, petrol stations, hedges, along the sides of roads, up trees etc - now you tell me that when they are doing this they are thinking "The Crown and Anchor is MINE! Sniff this and weep, lesser men who cannot pee as high as me!" For a kick-off, the territory belongs to the Alpha female - Mrs Zaros will marmalise him! (In case you are wondering, men, us ladies mark our territory with cushions and decorative toilet seat covers - that sort of thing.
> 
> ...


You're out of luck - sorry. The chocolate was a the first casualty of the Apocalyptic Era. I've got some broccoli if you want.


----------



## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

Breaking news, I have finished my tea (with the help of the girls), so any apocolypse can now happen as far as I'm concerned, with or without prawn cocktail crisps or broccolli. Random thought, broccolli flavoured crisps...........


----------



## Meezey (Jan 29, 2013)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> Breaking news, I have finished my tea (with the help of the girls), so any apocolypse can now happen as far as I'm concerned, with or without prawn cocktail crisps or broccolli. Random thought, broccolli flavoured crisps...........


I love Broccoli but seriously Broccoli flavoured crisps? That's just minging SL......................... :nonod:

What apocalypse did I miss the email or thread about it?


----------



## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

Meezey said:


> I love Broccoli but seriously Broccoli flavoured crisps? That's just minging SL......................... :nonod:
> 
> What apocalypse did I miss the email or thread about it?


I get them, it's like when you know you shouldn't imagine people naked, my brain just works that way 

There is an imminent apocolypse, there was a question earlier on the thread to try and avert it, but I'm not sure it's been resolved.

Oh no, Bruce Forsyth just popped into my head, sometimes I wish I could swap brains.


----------



## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> Breaking news, I have finished my tea (with the help of the girls), so any apocolypse can now happen as far as I'm concerned, with or without prawn cocktail crisps or broccolli. Random thought, broccolli flavoured crisps...........


NOOOO! Don't jinx it! I'm waiting on my Domino's pizza arriving... Once I've had a glass of wine and ate my body weight in pizza, then it can happen 

I'll skip the broccoli crisps though :/


----------



## BessieDog (May 16, 2012)

SirHiss said:


> It was me :001_tt1:
> 
> Theres more to feast your eyes upon, don't they look marvelous?
> 
> I can just picture members rushing out to buy some of those to keep their dogs warm this winter:w00t:


The second one down would be perfect for Bess!


----------



## Meezey (Jan 29, 2013)

There will be nooooooo apocalypse not on my time people, I'm still at work and if there is an apocalypse before I get home there will be hell to pay..........

Still not hmmm I wondered Stilton and Broccoli Crisps now that might work...


----------



## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

Meezey said:


> There will be nooooooo apocalypse not on my time people, I'm still at work and if there is an apocalypse before I get home there will be hell to pay..........
> 
> Still not hmmm I wondered Stilton and Broccoli Crisps now that might work...


Ok, this is how my brain works, I'm thinking it's strange that there aren't many more vegetable flavoured crisps, because, after all, potatoes are a veg, so why not?? Hmmmmmmm..........


----------



## BessieDog (May 16, 2012)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> Ok, this is how my brain works, I'm thinking it's strange that there aren't many more vegetable flavoured crisps, because, after all, potatoes are a veg, so why not?? Hmmmmmmm..........


There's marmite. Yeast extract is sort of a vegetable?

Cheese and onion?

Salt and vinegar?


----------



## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> Ok, this is how my brain works, I'm thinking it's strange that there aren't many more vegetable flavoured crisps, because, after all, potatoes are a veg, so why not?? Hmmmmmmm..........


That's a very good point!

I quite fancy parsnip and carrot flavour... That would be interesting


----------



## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

BessieDog said:


> There's marmite. Yeast extract is sort of a vegetable?
> 
> Cheese and onion?
> 
> Salt and vinegar?


The only vegetable I can think of is onion, of course there are pickled onion monster munch as well, which are fabulous. Oooh, and chillies, obviously sweet chilli type crisps......


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

Lauren5159 said:


> That's a very good point!
> 
> I quite fancy parsnip and carrot flavour... That would be interesting


Have you ever tried those roast vegetable crisps, I think Tyrells do them. They're soooo good


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> The only vegetable I can think of is onion, of course there are pickled onion monster munch as well, which are fabulous. Oooh, and chillies, obviously sweet chilli type crisps......


Prawn Cocktail crisps have no prawn in them at all, it's tomato, paprika and sugar that creates that prawny taste :yesnod:


----------



## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

Meezey said:


> There will be nooooooo apocalypse not on my time people, I'm still at work and if there is an apocalypse before I get home there will be hell to pay..........
> 
> Still not hmmm I wondered Stilton and Broccoli Crisps now that might work...


What you saying? There won't be an apocalypse.

I was quite looking forward to putting my suit on


----------



## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

bearcub said:


> Prawn Cocktail crisps have no prawn in them at all, it's tomato, paprika and sugar that creates that prawny taste :yesnod:


I doubt there's much roast chicken in the roast chicken flavour either, but it's still somehow really appealing........


----------



## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

BessieDog said:


> There's marmite. Yeast extract is sort of a vegetable?
> 
> Cheese and onion?
> 
> Salt and vinegar?


Whoa. Stop. Hang on there a moment buddies.

You have MARMITE FLAVOURED CHIPS??? (sorry, crisps) :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:


----------



## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

McKenzie said:


> Whoa. Stop. Hang on there a moment buddies.
> 
> You have MARMITE FLAVOURED CHIPS??? (sorry, crisps) :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:


Yes, and brown sauce and tomato ketchup flavoured crisps. Oooh, just thought of another, weren't there tomato flavoured snaps at one point??


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

SirHiss said:


> What you saying? There won't be an apocalypse.
> 
> I was quite looking forward to putting my suit on


I see . . .you are preparing to come back as a baked potato in your next life, , ,


----------



## Firedog (Oct 19, 2011)

Does anyone remember the hedgehog flavoured ones, I bet there wasn't any hedgehog in them either.


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

McKenzie said:


> Whoa. Stop. Hang on there a moment buddies.
> 
> You have MARMITE FLAVOURED CHIPS??? (sorry, crisps) :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:


That made me throw up a little, as well.


----------



## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> Yes, and brown sauce and tomato ketchup flavoured crisps. Oooh, just thought of another, weren't there tomato flavoured snaps at one point??


Oh I am SO living in the wrong country :nonod:

Brown-sauce-and-tomato-ketchup-flavoured? :w00t: Or, brown-sauce-flavoured and tomato-ketchup-flavoured? :blush:


----------



## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

Firedog said:


> Does anyone remember the hedgehog flavoured ones, I bet there wasn't any hedgehog in them either.


Yes!!! I never did get round to trying them.


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Firedog said:


> Does anyone remember the hedgehog flavoured ones, I bet there wasn't any hedgehog in them either.


Please! Let me keep my illusions . . .


----------



## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

lostbear said:


> I see . . .you are preparing to come back as a baked potato in your next life, , ,


There is honestly no other way:nonod:


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

McKenzie said:


> Oh I am SO living in the wrong country :nonod:
> 
> Brown-sauce-and-tomato-ketchup-flavoured? :w00t: Or, brown-sauce-flavoured and tomato-ketchup-flavoured? :blush:


The second one.


----------



## Meezey (Jan 29, 2013)

I bluddy love Marmite I do :001_tt1:


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

McKenzie said:


> Whoa. Stop. Hang on there a moment buddies.
> 
> You have MARMITE FLAVOURED CHIPS??? (sorry, crisps) :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:


You could easily replicate that over in NZ...

Just take a jar of this:










and a packet of these:










Dunk, and enjoy


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

SirHiss said:


> There is honestly no other way:nonod:


Sadly, I think you may be right.


----------



## RioDa (Oct 2, 2013)

I've got a question about dog carting. I wanted to train my Rottweiler to pull things, such as carts etc. I don't know hardly anything about it though. What procedures do you take to start, I don't know about the harnesses, training etc so would just like some advice please.


----------



## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

This thread seems to have gone in a potato direction....... generally speaking


----------



## Meezey (Jan 29, 2013)

bearcub said:


> You could easily replicate that over in NZ...
> 
> Just take a jar of this:
> 
> ...


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Vegemite is nothing like Marmite........ I might just go and cry in a corner now...


----------



## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

bearcub said:


> You could easily replicate that over in NZ...
> 
> Just take a jar of this:
> 
> ...


Oh no, I couldn't possibly eat VEGEMITE :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: It needs to be MARMITE!!!










Black gold that stuff is. In fact, the entire country ran out for a while there - it was Marmageddon, which fits quite nicely with the direction this thread took a few pages ago :lol:


----------



## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

Meezey said:


> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Vegemite is nothing like Marmite........ I might just go and cry in a corner now...


But sadly down under Marmite is as rare as hens teeth  or so I'm told. It's marmageddon I tells ya.


----------



## Guest (Oct 7, 2013)

bearcub said:


> But sadly down under Marmite is as rare as hens teeth  or so I'm told. It's marmageddon I tells ya.


Snap!!! :lol:


----------



## LexiLou2 (Mar 15, 2011)

I HAVE to know if hedgehog flavoured crisps didn't have hedgehog in them then HOW did they make the hedgehog flavour?!?!


----------



## BessieDog (May 16, 2012)

Will you all stop talking about food!  I'm now fancying crisps! Any flavour.


----------



## LexiLou2 (Mar 15, 2011)

Its ok the end of the world is upon us, eat as many crisps as you want......


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

LexiLou2 said:


> I HAVE to know if hedgehog flavoured crisps didn't have hedgehog in them then HOW did they make the hedgehog flavour?!?!


And who could argue if they _weren't _ authentically hedgehog flavour? Did they have a gypsy taste-tester at the factory?


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

LexiLou2 said:


> Its ok the end of the world is upon us, eat as many crisps as you want......


There aren't many left - the Leviathan got them. It's licking the bags out now.


----------



## LexiLou2 (Mar 15, 2011)

lostbear said:


> There aren't many left - the Leviathan got them. It's licking the bags out now.


Even the hedgehog flavoured ones?!?! Have you alpha rolled it and put its in its place?! Does it not know the importance of hedgehog flavoured crisps?!


----------



## BeauNoir (Sep 16, 2012)

You lot are really unhelpful to dieters! I'm off to the shop before it closes in 15 mins.

For crisps. 


Yumyumyumyumyumyum


OOH!!! I have some in the cupboard!!! CHEESE PUFFS SAVE THE DAY!!


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## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

I have a really important question now, ok, so it's based on the crisp theme, not entirely potatoes as they are corn based snacks but, which is it, wotsits or quavers?


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

I have no idea what's going on but mine's pickled onion Monster Munch.


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## BeauNoir (Sep 16, 2012)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> I have a really important question now, ok, so it's based on the crisp theme, not entirely potatoes as they are corn based snacks but, which is it, wotsits or quavers?


Wotsits hands down.

Quavers went for the whole healthy approach, reminding me they are 'only 99 calories' on the packet which makes me hate them.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> I have a really important question now, ok, so it's based on the crisp theme, not entirely potatoes as they are corn based snacks but, which is it, wotsits or quavers?


Quavers, if I have to choose, but both smell like feet


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## LexiLou2 (Mar 15, 2011)

quavers but would prefer beef monster munch yummy!!!


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## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

LexiLou2 said:


> quavers but would prefer beef monster munch yummy!!!


Another thread entirely, but did you get my message about the thread on here in diet and nutrition, shar pei with lots of allergy issues?


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

BeauNoir said:


> You lot are really unhelpful to dieters! I'm off to the shop before it closes in 15 mins.
> 
> For crisps.
> 
> ...


Narrow escape there BN!


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> I have a really important question now, ok, so it's based on the crisp theme, not entirely potatoes as they are corn based snacks but, which is it, wotsits or quavers?


I've learned from experience that wotsits are not corn based snacks, they are a danger to ones health and dignity.

I have never shown anyone this picture before, but this is what happened to me after eating one too many bags of wotsits in a sitting


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

LexiLou2 said:


> Even the hedgehog flavoured ones?!?! *Have you alpha rolled it and put its in its place?*! Does it not know the importance of hedgehog flavoured crisps?!


You're kidding, right? You have seen a Leviathan? They're eighty feet long with teeth like scimitars. It's made a right mess of the kitchen cupboards, I can tell you. The cat's at it now - she's trying to bat it in the air with her paws prior to killing it, but it seems to be a bit on the heavy side.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

BeauNoir said:


> Wotsits hands down.
> 
> Quavers went for the whole healthy approach, reminding me they are 'only 99 calories' on the packet which makes me hate them.


I agree - who the hell do they think they are? I wouldn't be half the woman I am today if I took dietary advice from corn-based snacks.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> Another thread entirely, but did you get my message about the thread on here in diet and nutrition, shar pei with lots of allergy issues?


For a moment there I thought I'd stepped into the twilight zone . . .


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## BeauNoir (Sep 16, 2012)

lostbear said:


> Narrow escape there BN!


I know, walking is not one of my strong points, that's why I got sighthounds.

Although people keep telling me that my greyhound needs to go out for at least 2 hours per day. Maybe OP will be able to shed some light? How long should I be exercising my greyhound for?

See - brought it right back to topic.


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## LexiLou2 (Mar 15, 2011)

lostbear said:


> You're kidding, right? You have seen a Leviathan? They're eighty feet long with teeth like scimitars. It's made a right mess of the kitchen cupboards, I can tell you. The cat's at it now - she's trying to bat it in the air with her paws prior to killing it, but it seems to be a bit on the heavy side.


More the reason to show its who's boss, if Zaros has to be 'unscared' of Oscar, you can't be showing this any fear and well if you can't (wo)man up and take charge....its going to have to go to a home where someone can!!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

bearcub said:


> I've learned from experience that wotsits are not corn based snacks, they are a danger to ones health and dignity.
> 
> I have never shown anyone this picture before, but this is what happened to me after eating one too many bags of wotsits in a sitting


Bliddy hell! Is Kent anywhere near Essex? Are you also wearing white stilettos? Is there a teacup chihuahua in your manbag? (If you'll pardon the phrase?)


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## Freddie and frank (Mar 26, 2012)

what on earth has happened to this thread????? :lol::lol:

you can still get tomato flavoured snaps...:yesnod: and i vote for cheese and onion hula hoops mmmmmmm....and i actually quite fancy broccoli flavoured crisps :huh:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

BeauNoir said:


> I know, walking is not one of my strong points, that's why I got sighthounds.
> 
> Although people keep telling me that my greyhound needs to go out for at least 2 hours per day. Maybe OP will be able to shed some light? How long should I be exercising my greyhound for?
> 
> See - brought it right back to topic.


There was a topic?


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

LexiLou2 said:


> More the reason to show its who's boss, if Zaros has to be 'unscared' of Oscar, you can't be showing this any fear and well if you can't (wo)man up and take charge....its going to have to go to a home where someone can!!


I'll stick it in the post. recorded delivery. You're not wriggling out of this one. I have one packet of paprika and chilli thingies that I will use to lure it into the box, but if I were you I would get a few tubes of Pringles in - it's going to be hungry when it arrives.

I don't suppose you want a Behemoth as well? It's not quite as big - looks a bit like a hippo, but fatter.


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

lostbear said:


> Bliddy hell! Is Kent anywhere near Essex? Are you also wearing white stilettos? Is there a teacup chihuahua in your manbag? (If you'll pardon the phrase?)


It's not fake tan if that's what you're implying  It's a combination of wotsit crumbs and colouring and it just won't come off 

But yes Kent is near Essex lol, next county across from the River Thames :smile:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

bearcub said:


> It's not fake tan if that's what you're implying  It's a combination of wotsit crumbs and colouring and it just won't come off
> 
> But yes Kent is near Essex lol, next county across from the River Thames :smile:


That dust on the Wotsits is a bugger isn't it? Lily pollen is a doddle compared to it. And of course, the temptation to lick off the delicious salty chemicals, even in public, is overwhelming. Do people keep licking you? Do you mind? Do you rub Wotsit crumbs over your flesh in order to tempt people?


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## metaldog (Nov 11, 2009)

It's really wonderful that you all want to contribute to the which are the best crisps debate. But seriously, what are your qualifications in regard to discussing fried potatoe/corn snacks eh?

My B-I-L works for Walkers Crisps at Leicester so if anyone has any questions about crisps feel free to ask me because I'm an expert and have loads of experience of eating crisps.

At Walkers when the crisps come out of the fryer before they get flavoured they are called [naked crisps] which sounds a bit like snack porn to me 

Crisp sandwiches anyone?

:lol:


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## Lauren5159 (May 28, 2013)

metaldog said:


> It's really wonderful that you all want to contribute to the which are the best crisps debate. But seriously, what are your qualifications in regard to discussing fried potatoe/corn snacks eh?
> 
> My B-I-L works for Walkers Crisps at Leicester so if anyone has any questions about crisps feel free to ask me because I'm an expert and have loads of experience of eating crisps.
> 
> ...


Oh! A crisp sandwich... Has to be smokey bacon if there's bread involved!

Unless it's a sandwich with something already on it. Then I stick to ready salted crisps on the side


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## metaldog (Nov 11, 2009)

Lauren5159 said:


> Oh! A crisp sandwich... Has to be smokey bacon if there's bread involved!
> 
> Unless it's a sandwich with something already on it. Then I stick to ready salted crisps on the side


I love smokey bacon crisps, I would never sully them with bread & butter 

Cheese and onion crisp sandwiches are yum


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## lozzibear (Feb 5, 2010)

*sigh* This thread has disappointed me...


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## metaldog (Nov 11, 2009)

lozzibear said:


> *sigh* This thread has disappointed me...


You don't like crisps :crying: :crying: :crying:


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

lostbear said:


> That dust on the Wotsits is a bugger isn't it? Lily pollen is a doddle compared to it. And of course, the temptation to lick off the delicious salty chemicals, even in public, is overwhelming. Do people keep licking you? Do you mind? Do you rub Wotsit crumbs over your flesh in order to tempt people?


no...

:idea: lol


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## Firedog (Oct 19, 2011)

Has anyone tried cheese and onion crisps dipped in salad cream.?.....yummy.


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## RioDa (Oct 2, 2013)

Feeling like an outsider as I don't eat crisps, except Pringles, only Pringles. :wink:


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## Malmum (Aug 1, 2010)

This thread has had me in stitches.  poor OP was only trying to help but you lot are so mean, just looked back on it and seen its digressed to crisps - somehow - ha ha! Me, I'm a Frisps fan but only boring old ready salted. 

Ah well if nothing else the OP will see PFers have a wicked sense of humour. Will look back in a few hours - wonder what the subject will be then.


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## Guest (Oct 8, 2013)

metaldog said:


> It's really wonderful that you all want to contribute to the which are the best crisps debate. But seriously, what are your qualifications in regard to discussing fried potatoe/corn snacks eh?


I'll let you know when I have finished cooking.












lozzibear said:


> *sigh* This thread has disappointed me...


In a good way or bad way?:w00t:


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

lostbear said:


> And who could argue if they _weren't _ authentically hedgehog flavour? Did they have a gypsy taste-tester at the factory?


That is racist! Take it back at once


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Malmum said:


> This thread has had me in stitches.  *poor OP was only trying to help but you lot are so mean*, just looked back on it and seen its digressed to crisps - somehow - ha ha! Me, I'm a Frisps fan but only boring old ready salted.
> 
> Ah well if nothing else the OP will see PFers have a wicked sense of humour. Will look back in a few hours - wonder what the subject will be then.


I'm afraid when a newcomer comes on to an established pet forum without even bothering to read any of the informative posts, and says: Hey, look at me, ignore all those qualified experts and bring your questions to me, well what else do they expect? And even when asked a simple question replies with "get a trainer", I'm afraid it is too tempting.

Though how it digressed to crisps, I really could not say.


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

newfiesmum said:


> how it digressed to crisps, I really could not say.


Nor could I. Neither Zara Or Oscar like crisps.

Although having said that we've not really tempted either one of them with the snack.

Oscar's strictly a meat eater and h has no time for vegetables regardless of their form.

Zara on the other hand has the more adventurous palate and does have a weakness for boiled potatoes.

However, many moons ago in another life in England I used to have a cat that adored cheese and onion crisps and would often sit on the arm of my chair pawing at the packet until I gave her the odd one or two tit bits.


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## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

The crisp thing was nothing to do with me, honest guvnor :aureola:


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## tinaK (Jun 12, 2010)

Clover is quite partial to a bag on ready salted


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## Freddie and frank (Mar 26, 2012)

Good morning folks. 

Here's one for you .....did you know that all walkers crisps best before dates are a Saturday


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## Julesky (Feb 10, 2012)

Freddie and frank said:


> Good morning folks.
> 
> Here's one for you .....did you know that all walkers crisps best before dates are a Saturday


Mind blown.


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## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

Freddie and frank said:


> Good morning folks.
> 
> Here's one for you .....did you know that all walkers crisps best before dates are a Saturday


Now I'm going to be wondering all day just how that may have an effect, if any, on the end of the world........


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Thank goodness I don't like crisps. I would be sorting through the cupboard with a calendar to see what dates are on them.


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

Freddie and frank said:


> Good morning folks.
> 
> Here's one for you .....did you know that all walkers crisps best before dates are a Saturday


Sounds like a conspiracy worth the subject for the next Dan Brown novel :yesnod:


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## MyMillie (Jun 17, 2012)

Meezey said:


> I bluddy love Marmite I do :001_tt1:


Hope you only get it from the Marmite "re-homing" center :lol:


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## Freddie and frank (Mar 26, 2012)

newfiesmum said:


> Thank goodness I don't like crisps. I would be sorting through the cupboard with a calendar to see what dates are on them.


I actually did when my sons mate told me..... Sad I know and I was like 'oh my god, how strange'


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## SLB (Apr 25, 2011)

It's gotta be Cheese and Onion - all the way. Although I am partial to some Onion Ring crisps - but they gotta be Tesco's ones - LOADS of flavour on those!

Now I am going to be hungry for my driving lesson!


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## Tigerneko (Jan 2, 2009)

I am disappointed to see that 4RottyGirl hasn't been back on to answer our questions 

Maybe she could have a go at analysing OUR behaviour


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## Vicki (Jul 28, 2009)

SLB said:


> It's gotta be Cheese and Onion - all the way. Although I am partial to some Onion Ring crisps - but they gotta be Tesco's ones - LOADS of flavour on those!
> 
> Now I am going to be hungry for my driving lesson!


Cheese and onion flavoured crisps are the best! I really miss those, I ate loads of them when I was in Leeds for my education. Unfortunately that's not a popular flavour in Sweden, so the only place you can get it is Subway and they only have small bags that you get with your meal.


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## BessieDog (May 16, 2012)

Tigerneko said:


> I am disappointed to see that 4RottyGirl hasn't been back on to answer our questions
> 
> Maybe she could have a go at analysing OUR behaviour


She's probably analysed it, noted we're all nut cases and decided never to return! 

And of course, if she's American she won't understand the crisp discussion at all! :nonod:


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

BessieDog said:


> She's probably analysed it, noted we're all nut cases and decided never to return!
> 
> And of course, if she's American she won't understand the crisp discussion at all! :nonod:


I don't understand that myself!


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

BessieDog said:


> She's probably analysed it, noted we're all nut cases and decided never to return!
> 
> And of course, *if she's American she won't understand the crisp discussion at all!* :nonod:


That's because they don't have crisps they have chips and they don't have chips because they have french fries.

You can buy chips in a gambling casino in Las Vegas but they're not edible and can also have your chips but you won't be around to eat them.

All very confusing aint it?:confused1:


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## BeauNoir (Sep 16, 2012)

Naw, I was really hoping that OP would have been back and helped me with my questions.


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## millybultitude (Oct 8, 2013)

I'm curious as to what to do about my puppy, we're getting her at 6 weeks old because the breeders ill health. She would of already had one injections - I'm not sure how many she needs and what ages? 
Thanks


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## Guest (Oct 8, 2013)

BessieDog said:


> She's probably analysed it, noted we're all nut cases and decided never to return!
> 
> And of course, if she's American she won't understand the crisp discussion at all! :nonod:


Theres another expert poked their head around 

Poor soul may stumble across this one


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

Zaros said:


> LMAO.
> 
> He does tend to catch me awkwardly at times and if he does happen to do me some serious injury I'll have my revenge by taking him to be castrated the minute I can walk again.:wink:


Oscar htinks one entire male is enough in a pack...


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## sailor (Feb 5, 2010)

Slight accident with the potato masher..... how do you get tomatoe stains off the ceiling?

Being serious :skep:

I think I might just have to repaint the ceiling, but hoping for an easier solution... oh how I hate painting ceilings.

Ps - I find wotsits stick to my teeth (probably eating them wrong) :mellow: so I prefer quavers


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

sailor said:


> Slight accident with the potato masher..... how do you get tomatoe stains off the ceiling?
> 
> Being serious :skep:
> 
> ...


Hold your mop the wrong way round and mop the ceiling :yesnod:


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## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

bearcub said:


> Hold your mop the wrong way round and mop the ceiling :yesnod:


But you can only use this method if you reverse gravity first. I'd be grateful if you'd limit your gravity reversal field, as I am quite enjoying relaxing on the sofa


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## foxyrockmeister (May 30, 2011)

sailor said:


> Slight accident with the potato masher..... how do you get tomatoe stains off the ceiling?
> 
> Being serious :skep:
> 
> ...


Well tomato ketchup is good for getting rid of fox poo, so maybe it works in reverse too, you could try rubbing some fox poo into your ceiling.


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## bearcub (Jul 19, 2011)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> But you can only use this method if you reverse gravity first. I'd be grateful if you'd limit your gravity reversal field, as I am quite enjoying relaxing on the sofa


Hmm I may struggle with that, haven't quite mastered the art of containing it yet :frown5:


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## Sleeping_Lion (Mar 19, 2009)

foxyrockmeister said:


> Well tomato ketchup is good for getting rid of fox poo, so maybe it works in reverse too, you could try rubbing some fox poo into your ceiling.


Or rub a dog that's rolled in fox poo on your ceiling? Or following the gravity reversal theme, they could naturally roll in the tomato sauce??


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## foxyrockmeister (May 30, 2011)

Sleeping_Lion said:


> Or rub a dog that's rolled in fox poo on your ceiling? Or following the gravity reversal theme, they could naturally roll in the tomato sauce??


I can lend Lily


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## sailor (Feb 5, 2010)

bearcub said:


> Hold your mop the wrong way round and mop the ceiling :yesnod:


Excellent idea!



Sleeping_Lion said:


> But you can only use this method if you reverse gravity first. I'd be grateful if you'd limit your gravity reversal field, as I am quite enjoying relaxing on the sofa


I shall try to find the gravity reversal switch.....



foxyrockmeister said:


> Well tomato ketchup is good for getting rid of fox poo, so maybe it works in reverse too, you could try rubbing some fox poo into your ceiling.


And if that doesn't work, I assume I need to rub more ketchup into the ceiling to get rid of the fox poo?



Sleeping_Lion said:


> Or rub a dog that's rolled in fox poo on your ceiling? Or following the gravity reversal theme, they could naturally roll in the tomato sauce??





foxyrockmeister said:


> I can lend Lily


When should I expect her? 

What if the tom stains remove the fox poo quicker than the fox poo can remove the tom stains? Judging by the percentage of fox poo that makes up Lily... she might disappear :skep:


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