# r.i.p oscar



## shamus

we had to have our beautiful dog Oscar put to sleep yesterday as he was diagnosed with kidney disease three weeks ago and it got him very quick,for the last few weeks we tried everything to get him eating all the renal foods from vets all home made etc..but nothing worked he just would not eat and lost two kg in weight in two weeks and yesterday started moaning and shivering badly so we rang the vets and they said the kindest thing was to lay him to rest as his last bun levels were so high even after iv fluids.he was our life he was nine years old and a foxhound cross by a whippet so one of a kind and was the most kindest and well behaved dog you could ask for we all have cried so much as we miss him and are really struggling to come to terms with it god bless him.gone but never forgotten ever.


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## Honeys mum

So sorry for your loss, have fun at the bridge beautifull Oscar. Knowing you were truly loved.


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## shamus

thanyou so much just cant stop crying miss him.


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## Jackien4

So sorry to hear this sad news . It is so very upsetting when we loss our lovely dogs . I went through it five months ago. It still upsets me so much but somehow you learn to cope with it. You did the only thing that you could . He is at peace now .


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## shamus

thankyou I keep second guessing if I did enough for him but I know I couldn't,renal disease is so horrid,


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## Charity

I'm so sorry about your beautiful boy. Their loss leaves a big hole in our lives and hearts. RIP Oscar.


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## shamus

thankyou so much I cant eat sleep cant stop crying just can not deal with this so many mixed emotions,how do you cope with it?


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## Hanwombat

I'm so sorry! He was a very handsome boy !


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## Sophie17

R.I.P. Oscar
I'm sorry for your loss.


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## Honeys mum

I find this always helps me, hope you can find some comfort from it. That is if it's worked.


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## shamus

thankyou all for your kind words I just miss him so very very much.


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## Sled dog hotel

So very sorry to hear of your loss. They are such a big part of our lives and family, it is so heartbreaking to have to make the decision even when we know that this time we just cant make them well again and it is the most kind and right thing to set them free from anymore pain and suffering.

Such a range of emotions hits you all at once, its so hard to cope with, you also feel that you are never going to ever get through it, but you will you just need time to allow yourself to adjust and grieve properly for him. It will although it doesn't feel like it now get better.

I'm sure that Oscar had a wonderful life with you and that he also left knowing how much he was very loved.

May your spirit run forever free in sunshine Oscar.


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## shamus

he was just such a character and I felt blessed everyday to of known him,he did have a great life we went camping all over the place and he loved it,our whole life revolved around our boy,wherever we went he did.such a great loss.


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> he was just such a character and I felt blessed everyday to of known him,he did have a great life we went camping all over the place and he loved it,our whole life revolved around our boy,wherever we went he did.such a great loss.


Its not something every one feels they want to do or may need, but Blue cross have a Pet bereavement service, you can email them or talk to them and they will offer support in your loss, there are also helpful leaflets and information that you can download and that can sometimes help with how to cope with your loss. If you feel it is something that you may want to do or may help if you feel you may need it, details are on the link. The service is entirely free.

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-support

Many of us have lost dogs on the forum, so we do understand how you are feeling, so please don't feel you are alone.


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## shamus

thankyou I am now in contact with bluecross as I need help as am having bad thoughts.


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## branwen

So sorry for your loss.

RIP sweet Oscar.


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## shamus

thanks for your comments heres another of my baby.


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> he was just such a character and I felt blessed everyday to of known him,he did have a great life we went camping all over the place and he loved it,our whole life revolved around our boy,wherever we went he did.such a great loss.


Our memories are something that nothing can ever take away. Although remembering times is painful at first and brings tears and sadness, in time you will find that thinking of him and the memories of what you shared instead of bringing sadness and tears, will be remembered with a smile again even though it wont do at the moment.

I am glad too that you think contacting the Blue cross service may help you.


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## Honeys mum

Aww that is such a lovely photo of your lovely boy., he was gorgeous, bless him.


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## shamus

thankyou he was a very handsome boy one of a kind foxhound x whippet with the best character and love for us that had no bounds,when I got up in the morning to go to work he would always give me a great morning welcome and when I came home also.i would dance with him to music and he would spin in circles to the music,the house is just so quiet and empty just so hard to believe chronic renal failure got the better of him in just three weeks,it has devastated our lives.


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## Britt

So sorry for your loss


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## shamus

thankyou very much talking to people on here is helping and talking to blue cross.


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## Jackien4

Hope you are ok. It is very hard lossing a lovely pet. As they are part of the family. But try to stay strong for the rest of your family and friends who love you. I felt just like you do when I lost my buster five months ago. It's still hard at times but not like it was when it first happened . You learn to cope more. Being on here has helped me a lot . As you try to help people on here with there worries and upsets . You also read some funny stories about other dogs . In a way I feel that buster is here with me. As I relate things that he has gone through in his life and I hope that it helps other owners on here . So stay strong and it will get better for you . You just have to take a day at a time.


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## Honeys mum

I know just how you are feeling, it's always so upsetting when we lose our beloved furry friends. Try and focus on all the happy times you had together and the memories that will stay with you forever.

Glad to hear that Bluecross is helping you, and also everyone on PF is always here for you when you need to talk.
Take care.


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## shamus

another pic of my boy got to share some of the pics of him as it helps me think he lives on in other places,


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## MilleD

That's a great photo. Sorry to hear what's happened . It will take time, but gradually it will feel different. I've always found that looking at pics and videos, whilst does turn on the tears, makes me feel better in a strange way. Because they live on in our memories and the pictures rejuvenates them and makes it feel like they are with us again.

I hope you get the support you need x


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## shamus

spme more pics,this was his last walk in the morning before he fell asleep and I was blessed we had a little bit of snow because he loved it,


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> another pic of my boy got to share some of the pics of him as it helps me think he lives on in other places,


I know you are already talking to the Blue cross pet bereavement and glad you are finding its helping together with posting on here. I notice too that you say it helps to know as you feel he lives on in other places. I don't know if you spotted it or not on the Blue Cross website but there is also a section where you can create an on line memorial for him.

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-memorials


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## Sophie17

He is a beautiful boy. 
How nice that he could go for a walk before he fell asleep.


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## shamus

I have now done a memorial on blue cross thanks so much.


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> I have now done a memorial on blue cross thanks so much.


Glad it may have helped, I wasn't sure if you would have spotted the bit about the Memorials or not.

What some people find helps too, is creating a memorial like planting a tree or some flowers in the garden. Even if you haven't got a garden you can get a nice pot and larger plant and maybe under plant it with some nice flowers. Its sometimes nice to get something that is in flower at the time of year that you lose them and that will then flower every year at the same time again in remembrance. Just a suggestion in case its something you feel you may like to do but hadn't thought of. it can sometimes help.


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## shamus

thankyou I have put some memorials in my garden and that is a nice idea about the plants thankyou.


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## Honeys mum

Such lovely pics of your beautiful boy.
So good that he had that last lovely walk in the snow.


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## shamus

when I think about his last day it all fits into place the last walk in the snow and he waited until my wife got home from work on Saturday afternoon so the whole family was together like he waited so we could all say goodbye.


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## shamus

seems to be getting a bit better today I broke down this morning when I came down stairs and the lights started flickering which seemed so overwhelming,i can look at my babys photos better now but still cry but I am trying because I know he would not of like seeing me like this,im taking one day at a time.


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## Sophie17

I just don't have adequate words to let you know how sorry I am for what you are going through. I find consolation our pets are now in a beautiful other world.


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## shamus

I always knew when my boy went it was going to hurt but never as bad as it has been,the shock finding out 3 weeks ago he had renal failure then losing him so quick is just too overwhelming.


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## Sophie17

I understand. It is very unfair that losing him so quick. The first days we feel unbearable, the world seems to have stopped for us. Only time will help the healing. It will be easier.


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## shamus

I don't want to wish time on but I wish it would hurry up as I just cant stop hurting so bad nothing is helping I keep feeling ok and then I just break down.my children are ok but sad my wife is as heartbroken as me,such a great great loss.


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## Sophie17

I know the pain. So many here do. We are learning that we have to figure out how to live with the loss.


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## shamus

I have lost nans and granddads and don't mean to sound disrespectful but this hurts so much more.


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## Sophie17

Many of us feel the same way. Our pets are so close to us.


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## MilleD

They are. I found one of my cats dead on a neighbours drive at the age of six. One minute she was sitting watching me wash my bicycle, then when she didn't come in that night I started worrying and found her a couple of hours later. No obvious injuries, just as if she was having a snooze.

I think because we spend so much time with them, it's difficult to let go when they are gone. I sort of understand the grandparents thing too, although all mine were gone before I turned 21 and that's a while back so maybe it's me that's changed.

I'm glad you are feeling a little better now. But it can take a while.


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## shamus

he was a really funny boy,here he had ripped the stuffing out of his bed and I caught him in the act,hes trying so hard not to look guilty,god bless him.


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## Honeys mum

Aww, that's a lovely pic of Oscar,such a handsome boy.. He looks so angelic there, as if to say, honsetly it wasn't me , bless him. Another happy memory for you and your family to cherish.
Take care.x


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## shamus

thanks honeys mum,things are getting easier , my talking with blue cross has been about sharing good memories and talking about my boy,the one thing that plays over and over in my head is why my boy what did he ever do to deserve this?


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> thanks honeys mum,things are getting easier , my talking with blue cross has been about sharing good memories and talking about my boy,the one thing that plays over and over in my head is why my boy what did he ever do to deserve this?


He did nothing to deserve it and neither did you, also it was nothing that he or you did that caused it. Some things when they become ill we can fix or at least manage with medical help to relieve symptoms and give a good quality of life and to give them longer with us. Some things we cant make them better or even give medication to help relieve symptoms and give them longer or not much time anyway. No one, human or animal deserves to become ill, sometimes its just the genetics we have been dealt pure and simple, some people, dogs, any animal or all living creatures for that matter will be lucky and be dealt healthy genes for a long and healthy life, some are not so lucky.

My youngest who was from a rescue litter born in the RSPCA, of the four that survived there is only one who so far at not long turned seven has escaped ill health.
Her and two of the others have a genetically predisposed condition, one of the three was also born with liver shunt, the other brother died at 5 years sadly and unexpectedly with kidney failure, likely due to the fact that he was born with something called renal dysplasia where the kidneys don't fully develop. She is a cross breed like your boy was, so even that cannot save them and the so called genetic diversity, they will become what is passed on to them and that goes for all things including health and longevity

Its hard to bear especially when we lose them in younger years and they don't even make true older age. All we can do is love and cherish them and give them the best lives we can while they are with us, in the hope it will be longer time as possible.


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## shamus

thanks sled dog hotel,made me feel a bit better thanks so much


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> thanks sled dog hotel,made me feel a bit better thanks so much


Glad it helped. So many feelings hit you, they are hard to cope with, and not just the loss and sadness either. It also seems quite common or for some to beat yourself up too. I know I have found something everytime and friends have too to question yourself and put yourself through it, even when I know I'm beaten by the illness or condition and there wasn't any other choice but to make the decision to set them free from any pain and suffering. So if you are doing anything like that aswell, then it is perfectly normal and I like most I know have found it is just part of the grieving process. Talking about how you feel can help though and I'm pleased that its helping you.


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## Honeys mum

Pleased to hear that the Bluecross and talking about your lovely boy is helping.
It's still early days yet, but one day in the future you will be able to think about Oscar and smile, without feeling sad.

"The greatest gift" by Karla Bertram Maybe this will help,


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## shamus

one week on I have stopped the really loud outbursts of crying but a new thing happened this morning I had a panic attack and thought I was having a heart attack,i came down stairs this morning and just became so overwhelmed.


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## shamus

well its been just over two weeks and I still cry from time to time,i have bought a new pup a little Labrador hes so cute and it has helped me fill the emptiness in the house but I feel so guilty about having him,but he isn't to replace Oscar as he was too special have I done the wrong thing?


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> well its been just over two weeks and I still cry from time to time,i have bought a new pup a little Labrador hes so cute and it has helped me fill the emptiness in the house but I feel so guilty about having him,but he isn't to replace Oscar as he was too special have I done the wrong thing?


What you are now worrying about and asking have I done the wrong thing, is something a lot of people feel, when they lose a dog and get another, its also something that stops many people from getting another too, or sometimes for a very long time.

Feeling guilty or disloyal to your other dog that you have lost is a very common feeling to have for a lot of people. Fact is that each dog is special and individual in their own way, like you say he isn't to replace Oscar, you cant replace Oscar even if you wanted too, because every dog is special an individual and we learn to love them for who they are, so a lost very cherished and loved dog can never be replaced. It doesn't mean though that you shouldn't or cant ever love again and want to share your life with another dog who will be special for him or herself and be loved just as much eventually.

Oscar I'm sure had a very happy life with you, and didnt want for anything, I'm sure too he knew how much he was loved and loved you as much in return. I'm sure too that he wouldn't want you to be sad and feel your life was empty without him, and wouldn't mind in the least that you now have another little pup who needs a good and loving home and will help you fill your life again.

Don't feel guilty or feel you have done the wrong thing. Oscar was a big part of your life, he will still be remembered and loved even though he is no longer with you. No one can take that away ever. I wish you and the new puppy lots of love and happiness and I'm sure Oscar would too.


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## Honeys mum

Please don't feel guilty because you have a new puppy, as Sdh says you haven't done anything wrong.You have done what is best for you, and you haven't replaced Oscar by getting another puppy.

Oscar was very special in his own way, as your new puppy will be eventually.Oscar was a very much loved dog, and had a very happy life with you, and his memories will always be with you forever., he wouldn't want you to be unhappy.

I wish you many happy times with your new baby, who will I'm sure given time will enrich your life as your lovely boy did.


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## shamus

thankyou so much for your kind words you have made me feel better,i think I will always miss Oscar and theres nothing I can do to help that and its something I will have to learn to deal with till the day we meet again. many thanks for all your support from you guys you have helped me a lot and I know theres going to be more bad days ahead but I am feeling stronger than I was.i have never experienced such loss as this and again am truly greatful for all your help.


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## PetloverJo

So to hear of your loss RIP Oscar


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> thankyou so much for your kind words you have made me feel better,i think I will always miss Oscar and theres nothing I can do to help that and its something I will have to learn to deal with till the day we meet again. many thanks for all your support from you guys you have helped me a lot and I know theres going to be more bad days ahead but I am feeling stronger than I was.i have never experienced such loss as this and again am truly greatful for all your help.


Glad that it has helped and you feel a bit better now. When you do get bad days don't forget there is someone here to help, it will get easier in time even though at times now you feel it wont. We would love to hear about the new puppies progress too.


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## Honeys mum

Sled dog hotel said:


> Glad that it has helped and you feel a bit better now. When you do get bad days don't forget there is someone here to help, it will get easier in time even though at times now you feel it wont. We would love to hear about the new puppies progress too.


I second all of that too.


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## shamus

hi folks.still cry every night and sometimes at work I still miss Oscar so much,it is easier now not so raw,anyway new puppy keeping the house alive and not feeling empty now.will post some pics soon.


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## Honeys mum

Thankyou for the update shamus.It's still early days so,your bound to still be missing Oscar, but it will get easier as time goes by.
One day in the future, you will be able to remember your lovely boy without feeling sad. I know just what your going through, but try to think of all the lovely times you had together.
Glad to hear your new puppy is helping to keep the house from being so empty for you and your family..
Look forward to seeing pics, when you feel ready.

Take care.


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> hi folks.still cry every night and sometimes at work I still miss Oscar so much,it is easier now not so raw,anyway new puppy keeping the house alive and not feeling empty now.will post some pics soon.


It will take time you need to give yourself time to grieve, but really glad the little one is making it easier for you.


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## shamus

hi folks,ive been having some really bad days and nights absolutely beside myself with heartache,i keep looking at my new pup and really starting to love the little guy but am feeling so unfaithful to Oscar its so confusing,i still cry a lot at times and little pup looks at me and starts to lick me.its just so hard.


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> hi folks,ive been having some really bad days and nights absolutely beside myself with heartache,i keep looking at my new pup and really starting to love the little guy but am feeling so unfaithful to Oscar its so confusing,i still cry a lot at times and little pup looks at me and starts to lick me.its just so hard.


Its not unusual for people to feel unfaithful when they have lost a beloved friend, sometimes it can actually stop people even thinking of getting another because they feel disloyal.

You are not being unfaithful or disloyal to Oscar, while he was with you he didn't know one day without love and care, you gave him I'm sure a wonderful life. That's all we can do cherish them when we have them and make sure they have everything we can give them and hope that it will continue tor a long long time to come. Sometimes our wish is granted, other times it isn't and the time is cut short, how ever long we have them it will never be long enough anyway.

The puppy isn't a replacement taking Oscars place or anything else He cant, like Oscar he is or will be special in his own way, he is an individual too as Oscar was. All the pup wants is your love and care, and will earn it in his own right. It doesn't mean that you love Oscar any less, will forget him, or you with lose that special place Oscar held in your heart either. Its possible to let more then one dog into your life and cherish each one just as much. I'm sure Oscar wouldn't want you to be alone, and would be glad you have the puppy for company.


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## shamus

thankyou sled dog hotel you always make me feel better with your replies,sometimes I just get so muddled up with my thinking and when you reply you unravel whats going on in my head thanks so much.i hold Oscars ashes every night and say goodnight and just hope he hears me.


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## Honeys mum

Please don't feel you are being unfaithful to Oscar, as sled dog hotel you are not.
It's obvious Oscar had a wonderful life with you, and knew nothing but love.Your new pupy will never replace Oscar, all dogs are special in their own way.
Just try to enjoy your new puppy, the love you had for Oscar will always remain in your heart.



shamus said:


> .i hold Oscars ashes every night and say goodnight and just hope he hears me.


For what it's worth, I have four of my girls ashes in caskets in my lounge, and when we go away, even if it's only for a day, they go with us.

I'm sure Oscar hears you, I hope you find comfort in having him with you.


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## shamus

thanks honeys mum,it does feel comforting with his ashes here,i always feel like hes here with us I just miss him so much he was my rock in life when I had a bad day at work or wherever he always made me feel ok again,god bless him.


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> thankyou sled dog hotel you always make me feel better with your replies,sometimes I just get so muddled up with my thinking and when you reply you unravel whats going on in my head thanks so much.i hold Oscars ashes every night and say goodnight and just hope he hears me.


Its still early days and you are still adjusting and grieving for Oscar, there is never a right or wrong way to grieve only a way that is right for you, and although it still doesn't seem like it now at times, in time it will get better. Although Oscar is no longer physically with you, he is still there with you in your memories and will always have his special place in your heart. When you are grieving and trying to work your way through the emotions and feelings it is very easy to feel alone and muddled. You are not alone though, there are people here who have been through it and understand, and it sounds like the little one in his own way is trying to tell you he is there too, and will help you heal and give you comfort.


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## Lol byrne

Hi just reading your thread and I am also grieving the loss of my best friend Barney who was 16 yrs and 10 mths and a huge part of our lives. Very early days and I am devestated I am just waiting for the return of his ashes which I hope will help in my grieving process. Just curious as to how long you waited to get a new dog. Was it too soon, you should have done it sooner or do you regret getting a another. Did you use the previous dogs stuff for your new one or buy all new. I feel it maybe either comforting or upsetting be curious to know which one you felt xxx
Hope ur a bit further in your recovery process xx


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## shamus

hi lol byrne sorry its a late reply,getting a new dog after a couple of weeks has helped no end but the love I had for Oscar is still strong I still cry every night I say goodnight to his ashes and picture,but my little pup who I would not be without now helps me no end,it is true you feel mixed emotions when you get your new dog,you feel disloyal and feel like you are replacing him but then you feel a new bond being created and you still feel the bond for your lost one so you realise you are not replacing him,i personally feel had I not got our pup so soon I would of never of got another as the feeling I had were so overwhelming that I would of been very ill.i put all of Oscars belongings in a box and put a note in it from all the family saying what they will miss about him and how much they loved him and put it in the loft.sorry for your loss I know it hurts like hell im so sorry for you god bless your loved one.


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## shamus

hi folks thought I would update on things,life has got easier I have learnt the truth that Oscar is not coming back which I know sounds silly but that's how I felt like he would come back,i still and always will miss my best mate and never stop loving him god bless him,i thought I would post some pics up of barney our new pup

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## Sled dog hotel

Barney is gorgeous and I hope having him is giving you some comfort. Glad too that you have started to come to terms with the loss of Oscar, it takes a long while to adjust, but he will always be there in your heart and memories and no one can take that away.


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## shamus

it is hard to adjust to the loss but I just knew I had to as i was very ill not eating or sleeping and that's when getting barney put things in order and made me realise and I am not being heartless but life has to go on.


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> it is hard to adjust to the loss but I just knew I had to as i was very ill not eating or sleeping and that's when getting barney put things in order and made me realise and I am not being heartless but life has to go on.


It is very hard to adjust they become such a big part of our lives. but life as you say must go on. Just because we have lost doesn't mean that we cant love again, all dogs are special and unique in their own way and we can love them for who they are and what they mean to us. Its obvious that what you and Oscar shared was very special, and I'm sure that Oscar wouldn't want you to be sad and not love again and let another dog into your heart. However long we have them will never ever be long enough,
but I'm sure Oscar left knowing how much he was loved and had a wonderful life with you.


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## shamus

Oscar certainly was very loved by everyone,when I told people who I would see out on our walks that he was gone had a tear for him he was just such a big character and had so many play dogs from our walks.i can honestly say he never wanted for anything he had everything a dog could of wished for and shown so much love by everyone and he loved it.


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## Honeys mum

Barney is a real handsome boy. So pleased to read that having him is helping you through the loss of your lovely Oscar, and that he has helped to make life a little easier for you.
It's still early days yet for you, and clear to see Oscar was very special to you, and a very much loved boy who had a very happy life with you and your family.I'm sure he wouldn't want you to feel sad, he will always have a special place in your heart.
Every dog is special in the own different way. I'm sure Oscar would want you to enjoy Barney, and love anther dog again.

Look forward to seeing more pics of Barney.


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## Calvine

shamus said:


> I have lost nans and granddads and don't mean to sound disrespectful but this hurts so much more


@shamus. I just caught up with this thread and feel so much for you. The guilt you (we all) feel with a pet is likely due to the fact that as often as not _we_ are the ones to make the agonising decision to stop their pain and illness. You did not want to see him suffer any longer; it is very natural to wonder ''what if'' and ''if only''. There is always guilt and doubt when a pet dies, especially if it is not terribly old as Oscar was not.
I am glad you now have another dog. He will never be a replacement for Oscar and there will be no comparison.; he will have his own personality and quirks.
It does seem so unfair sometimes. My cat has just recently been diagnosed with kidney disease (he is only six years old). I ask myself why t would happen to a cat which has had the best care and diet since I got him. He has been fed wet food, no dry, seen vet for regular annual MOT. The vet admits to being ''mystified'' as he looks and acts as tho' he is fit and healthy...no weight loss, simply excessive drinking.
I hope your new puppy does much to fill the void left by Oscar's passing. Some pictures would be lovely!


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## shamus

hi calvina thanks for your kind words it was very hard to deal with when he got diagnosed with the kidney disese,oscar was absolutely fine before I took him to the vets,only clue was he was drinking more but after vets put him on a fluids drip and kept him in for 2 days he was never the same when he came home,he just started getting picky with food then stopped eating altogether and just would lie on the sofa,but as soon as you said walkies he came to life and off we would go but he got slower and slower and just couldn't make it anymore and in the end started shivering with pain so it was the only thing we could do as the kiney disease was to bad it was all so quick from diagnosis to having him put to sleep.i tried every day with so many different foods and tablets but he just gave up and I knew he had enough god bless him and now he runs in rainbow bridge,i just feel so blessed to of been his best mate miss him all the time and I think I always will.


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## jill3

So sorry for your loss of Oscar. It is one of the worse things of having a pet is saying good bye to them. Reading through your thread I now hear that you have a new pup called Barney.
He does look a lovely Boy. I think he will do you the world of good.
We never forget our lost ones. They will always be with you.
We have 3 lovely cats now but I never forget the ones we have at Rainbow Bridge.


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## Quietus Vet Home Visits

I agree. Bluecross which is staffed by caring volunteers is a great resource.

I was talking to their coordinator the other day and she told me that they "listen and signal".

Which means they listen for as long as you want to talk.
They will, if you want, give you information on who to call for more help if you want.
They are not a counselling service as such.

Fab people.
Talking is so important.


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## shamus

hi again folks I thought I would let you know how im doing,i went downhill badly for a while and just couldnt get it together even with barneys help and it was very hard and probably the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life.i am now starting to get on with life again and still miss my Oscar very dearly and do still cry and my heart still aches but it has got easier.my panic attacks have subsided a lot and can sleep now but I find myself thinking im starting to forget Oscar and then get in a panic and have to keep looking at his pictures.oh I miss him so but know I have to get on with my life but feel so guilty trying to do so,any way barneys doing well and I am probably too paranoid about him with his health as the vets said I don't need to worry so much as I was taking him to the vets for anything but I think I cant go through with anything happening to him.


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## kimthecat

I'm glad you are coping a little better and barney is doing well. 
You are still grieving and guilt is part of that , not having panic attacks or sleeping better doesn't mean you are forgetting him . You will never forget him and you wont stop missing him , but hopefully soon you will be looking at his photos and remembering the happy times and the joy he brought you.


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## Honeys mum

Glad to hear you are learning to cope a little better, and that Barney is doing well. He must be a great help to you and your family.Try not to worry, you will never forget your lovely boy Oscar, he will always have a place in your heart. Remember there's a saying, Dogs leave footprints on your heart, and they do.. Loving Barney as well, doesn't mean you will forget him.

As Kimthe cat says, one day soon you will be able look at Oscar's photos, and remember only the good times you had together.
Thanks for the update, look forward to maybe seeing some pics of Barney in the future.


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## shamus

heres some pics of barney now growing well,


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## Calvine

shamus said:


> New heres some pics of barney now growing well


Thank you for the pictures. He's lovely; and he looks so calm and quiet.


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## Sled dog hotel

shamus said:


> hi again folks I thought I would let you know how im doing,i went downhill badly for a while and just couldnt get it together even with barneys help and it was very hard and probably the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life.i am now starting to get on with life again and still miss my Oscar very dearly and do still cry and my heart still aches but it has got easier.my panic attacks have subsided a lot and can sleep now but I find myself thinking im starting to forget Oscar and then get in a panic and have to keep looking at his pictures.oh I miss him so but know I have to get on with my life but feel so guilty trying to do so,any way barneys doing well and I am probably too paranoid about him with his health as the vets said I don't need to worry so much as I was taking him to the vets for anything but I think I cant go through with anything happening to him.


So sorry to hear that you had a period where you found it so hard to cope again, but glad to hear you are managing to cope again. Please try not to feel guilty. I know that Oscar had a wonderful life with you and never knew a day without love or everything a dog could possibly want and need. Sadly not all dogs can have such a wonderful life but Oscar did and he left you knowing how much he was loved.

Barney looks like he is doing well and growing into a handsome young dog, he has such a kind and gentle face.


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## matty1878

Thoughts are with you. My boy hasn't got long left and I'm utterly dreading it but also making the most of every moment


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## shamus

matty1878 said:


> Thoughts are with you. My boy hasn't got long left and I'm utterly dreading it but also making the most of every moment


I know how you feel all I can say is try to make there last time with you special and give them what ever they want,i thought I was a strong minded person and don't let things bother me but this absolutely knocked me flat, but I do feel your pain and very sorry you have to lose your best friend.


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## Quietus Vet Home Visits

The power of this thread is that it lets people talk about their feelings.

I find my clients cope so much better when they talk - ideally before, during and after. 

The 'before' is actually probably the most powerful time to talk. It enables people to get some kind of perspective on what's happening.
I find it helps people to be more at ease with their decisions. 
There is actually quite a lot to think about, so the more things you settle before the event, the more room you have in your head and heart to handle your pet's passing.

All the best matty


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## Honeys mum

What lovely pictures, thankyou for sharing. Aww, Barney is such a handsome boy, and looks so contented. I'm sure Oscar would be so pleased that you have him in your life.

Take care.


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## shamus

Honeys mum said:


> What lovely pictures, thankyou for sharing. Aww, Barney is such a handsome boy, and looks so contented. I'm sure Oscar would be so pleased that you have him in your life.
> 
> Take care.


thanks for your kind words,yes barney is being spoiled like Oscar was and he is very content and happy.he makes us all happy and makes life feel good again,but there are days that just hit you out of the blue,my whole experience with losing Oscar has been traumatic and devastating but having barney to love and be loved by has made life worth living again.At one point over the months I seriously considered ending my life but got help from the doctors and realised how selfish it would of been on the rest of my family but I just needed the pain to go away,those thoughts have gone and I am dealing with it much better now and it has helped a lot talking to you guys,i just know I will never forget Oscar till the day I die he was closer to me than anybody we had such a bond which is why it hurt me so so bad god bless him my lovely boy forever missed.got to go now as welling up.


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## Honeys mum

So glad you are coping and starting to feel better, that's brilliant, well done.You are on the way up now shamus, and things can only get better.
Just enjoy your lovely Barney, and Oscar bless him will always have a place in your heart..
Take care, and keep in touch on PF.


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## shamus

merry Christmas my beautiful boy oscie sadly still very missed and Christmas is making things feel so bad again,but got to be strong and be happy.merry chritmas everybody and most of all to all of you that helped me with comforting words thankyou,


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## Calvine

And a happy Christmas to you and your family. How is Barney now? He must be a big lad by now.


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## MilleD

Merry Christmas to you to.

I remember your thread being not long after I joined PF and thinking what a wonderful compassionate bunch were on here.

Hope you and Barney have a fab one.


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## Honeys mum

Merry christmas to you and your boy, hope its a good one for you and your family.


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## shamus

hi all,yes barneys a big boy now and hes just brilliant and I love him to bits but do find myself worrying too much about him and keep taking him to the vets for any silly thing really,but as the vets said its all about losing Oscar why I do it.its so good to come on here and know that you all know what I have gone through many many thanks and will post some pics soon of grown up barney.


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## shamus

1 year today my beloved boy oscie has been gone, god love you like we did,miss you my best friend forever missed not a day has been gone that I haven't thought about you sweetheart may you be having fun at rainbow bridge.xxxxxxx


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## Sophie17

I sympathize with you. We will never forget them.


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## Caroline Bell

what a beautiful dog.so sorry for your loss.i lost my beautiful jake on march 10th and i can relate to what you are saying.it is so hard and seems so unreal.we are all so heartbroken.hope you have lovely memories of oscar.


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## shamus

Caroline Bell said:


> what a beautiful dog.so sorry for your loss.i lost my beautiful jake on march 10th and i can relate to what you are saying.it is so hard and seems so unreal.we are all so heartbroken.hope you have lovely memories of oscar.


thankyou for your kind words caroline I am so sorry you have lost your loved one,its not easy at all I think you just have to take one day at a time,it does get easier as one year on now I don't have the gut wrenching pain I had but still yearn for oscie,i think you never forget them just you learn to cope.But for me getting my new boy barnie helped a great deal.again so sorry for your loss.


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## Caroline Bell

shamus said:


> thankyou for your kind words caroline I am so sorry you have lost your loved one,its not easy at all I think you just have to take one day at a time,it does get easier as one year on now I don't have the gut wrenching pain I had but still yearn for oscie,i think you never forget them just you learn to cope.But for me getting my new boy barnie helped a great deal.again so sorry for your loss.


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## Caroline Bell

shamus said:


> thankyou for your kind words caroline I am so sorry you have lost your loved one,its not easy at all I think you just have to take one day at a time,it does get easier as one year on now I don't have the gut wrenching pain I had but still yearn for oscie,i think you never forget them just you learn to cope.But for me getting my new boy barnie helped a great deal.again so sorry for your loss.


hi thank you for replying and your advice.its been 12 days and its so difficult and i cant stop crying.my husband picked jakes ashes up yesterday and i told him i cant look at them.i can relate to your story as we lost our dogs too quick.oscar was a beautiful dog and i love your pictures of him.so sorry you lost oscar.how long after oscar did you get barnie and how old is he.thanks again for your post xxx


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## shamus

Caroline Bell said:


> hi thank you for replying and your advice.its been 12 days and its so difficult and i cant stop crying.my husband picked jakes ashes up yesterday and i told him i cant look at them.i can relate to your story as we lost our dogs too quick.oscar was a beautiful dog and i love your pictures of him.so sorry you lost oscar.how long after oscar did you get barnie and how old is he.thanks again for your post xxx


hi caroline sorry its such a late reply,i don't come on here much as I get upset,i got barnie two weeks after Oscar passed away everything just fell into place almost as if Oscar was making it happen for us to get barney.i felt guilty at first but it saved me really as the grief was just far too much for me,i hope you are coping better now as it is hard but just take one day at a time and if you see another dog you will know in your heart if you should or should not home it.take care.


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## shamus

merry Christmas my beloved boy,my second Christmas without you pup but I never stop kissing your picture goodnight,miss you as much today as the day I lost you,merry Christmas to you all and be strong as I know it hurts like hell losing your loved ones god bless them all.


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## shamus

two years today my beloved boy crossed to rainbow bridge I still have a cry for you and miss you so much god bless your soul sweetheart,rip my sweetheart.


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## Sassy'sMom

Those of us that truly love our fur (and feathered) babies will always miss them. I still cry when I think about my fur babies that have passed on even with it being many years. Time helps to bear the pain but the pain never goes away.


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## shamus

yes too true, I really do hope I see my boy again,i don't come on here much beacause it hurts to read of the loses but I just want to say for all of you that lose your loved ones it may not feel like it now but it really does get easier but you never never forget them,god bless you all.


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## BlessedbyJack

Dear Shamus
I've just been reading of your loss of Oscar and am so very sorry but the bond of love can never be broken and he was very beautiful and very loved. Your barney is gorgeous too and I know its been very hard journey but they will be forever in our hearts. My mum and I lost our sweet gentle cat Jack only tuesday a few days ago but feels like a lifetime ago. I am longing for him and cannot bear the pain I can't swallow my throat feels like its closing up and my insides feel like they died too. I can only think of the next hour or just sit thinking of him its so painful so hard.
I just wanted to reply and send you all a hug.
God bless x


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## shamus

hi BlessedbyJack yes the feelings you have now are what I felt and I know people say it gets easier and it genuinely does but it doesn't go away completely,i cry sometimes at work now and then and still miss Oscar so much and I wonder if hes missing me but then I think he would want me to be happy and get on with life with barney which is what gets me through it,im so sorry for your loss of jack,he looks a lovely boy and just cherish the times you had and stay strong try not to let the pain take you down a dark path as its so hard to get back up trust me ive been there.if you need to cry for jack just let it out and don't care whos around got to get your emotions out,god bless you and jack and may he be free now in rainbow bridge.


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## BlessedbyJack

Thank you for your kind words...yes our boy was beautiful inside and outside so gentle loving and brave and so handsome. He spoke everytime he saw us even if we went into a room doing something and he had just seen us he was a chatty boy his meows often sounded like he was trying to say words and if I said to him are you having a chat baby boy? he would meow a little hmm that sounded like yeh I am..he truely was one of a kind... I just long for him its killing me.
Sorry, I loved him so much always will just like you love Oscar and I know he would want you to be happy with barney I think they rest better knowing we have other furbabies looking after us...
Thanks again for your support


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## shamus

merry chrismas oscie, and to you all,god bless.


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## ttaylor45

shamus said:


> thankyou he was a very handsome boy one of a kind foxhound x whippet with the best character and love for us that had no bounds,when I got up in the morning to go to work he would always give me a great morning welcome and when I came home also.i would dance with him to music and he would spin in circles to the music,the house is just so quiet and empty just so hard to believe chronic renal failure got the better of him in just three weeks,it has devastated our lives.


I also lost my toy poodle Pepe to kidney disease just 7 weeks ago he was also suffering from glaucoma and cataracts so had lost nearly all his sight and i lost my other toy poodle Rusty in May this year with a growth near his liver. I miss them both so much and still feel heartbroken although I try to think of all the good times we had over the years.


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