# My staffie is scared to come home



## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

Ive recently moved house, got a lovely huge garden for maisy (my staffie) to play in though all maisy wants to do is run away for freedom. ive tried hiring a dog walker which she loved, just got her out about for longer walks but that didnt stop her from running out the garden, we have sent £300 on the dog warden to get her back several times and we all got pretty fed up with this happening (nearly everyday sometimes) my partner also tried punishment when she got home, he would smack her bum and put her in her cage, never hurt her in the way of making her cry out but just so she knew she was in trouble. although the issue now was today... he ran away again for the first time in a week and somebody called me to say they had found her, when i met them they opened the car door and maisy was sat in the footwell shaking, ive never raised a hand to her ever and never thought she would be afraid of me. she totally refused to get out of the car and then after we had managed to get her out she tried to jump back in. i have been very upset about this tonight and i don know what to do to make it better. my partner no longer raises a hand to her when she gets home and she is very happy at home. she gets lots of cuddles and attention, we do treat her well and i now she loves us, i just hate seeing her so frightened of being told off. can anyone help? thanks in advance


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## Debbierobb109 (Mar 23, 2013)

the damage has kinda already been done....the dog seen the opportunity to go out of the garden so she did....and not to annoy you, but because it was easy to do it, the dog knows no difference...and upon returning she was being physically punished for doing so.......so hit when she returned....so its natural that she would associate coming home to punishment.
what your boyfriend done didnt teach the dog not to run away, it released HIS frustrations and made the dog scared in the process.
do you have a fence or anything surrounding your garden?? how was she escaping? 
you need to dog proof your garden first of all then work on gaining your dogs trust again, work on a good recall too.


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## Fleur (Jul 19, 2008)

Debbierobb109 said:


> the damage has kinda already been done....the dog seen the opportunity to go out of the garden so she did....and not to annoy you, but because it was easy to do it, the dog knows no difference...and upon returning she was being physically punished for doing so.......so hit when she returned....so its natural that she would associate coming home to punishment.
> what your boyfriend done didnt teach the dog not to run away, it released HIS frustrations and made the dog scared in the process.
> do you have a fence or anything surrounding your garden?? how was she escaping?
> you need to dog proof your garden first of all then work on gaining your dogs trust again, work on a good recall too.


Totally agree with this - the dog escaping once is an accident, after that it's your fault for not securing your house and garden.
Make sure the house is secure and then do some rewards based training to build trust again - lots of yummy treats and a favourite toy along with patience and calm attitude.


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## Guest (Aug 21, 2013)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> Ive recently moved house, got a lovely huge garden for maisy (my staffie) to play in though all maisy wants to do is run away for freedom. ive tried hiring a dog walker which she loved, just got her out about for longer walks but that didnt stop her from running out the garden, we have sent £300 on the dog warden to get her back several times and we all got pretty fed up with this happening (nearly everyday sometimes) my partner also tried punishment when she got home, he would smack her bum and put her in her cage, never hurt her in the way of making her cry out but just so she knew she was in trouble. although the issue now was today... he ran away again for the first time in a week and somebody called me to say they had found her, when i met them they opened the car door and maisy was sat in the footwell shaking, ive never raised a hand to her ever and never thought she would be afraid of me. she totally refused to get out of the car and then after we had managed to get her out she tried to jump back in. i have been very upset about this tonight and i don know what to do to make it better. my partner no longer raises a hand to her when she gets home and she is very happy at home. she gets lots of cuddles and attention, we do treat her well and i now she loves us, i just hate seeing her so frightened of being told off. can anyone help? thanks in advance


How is the dog able to get out?
If I got smacked for coming home, I sure wouldn't want to.
Why not secure your yard and supervise the dog so that she can't escape? Seems a simple solution to me...


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

My garden is huge! there are hedges surrounding the garden with little gaps here and there, she can also jump on the wall surrounding the front of the house as the garden goes right around the sides of the house as well. it would be absolutely impossible to fence or secure every part of the garden and even if i could get it fenced in it would cost 1000s which is money i dont have. i am also renting so i don't think the landlord would agree to me fencing around the whole property. don't judge me. i love my maisy to bits. i have looked for advice all over the internet and i am simply asking for good advice. maisy being a staffie breed makes her a difficult breed to train. shes been very destructive, attacks over dogs off the lead (now she always wears a muzzle off lead) and then she starts to run away. i feed her good food, she gets cuddles every night, plenty walks and affection. my partner has simply been fed up with her running away and even though he loves her he has tried so hard to train her, she is alot better with other dogs now and shes no longer destructive in our house, he has done a very good job training her. you would be driven mad if she escaped from you house nearly every day no matter what you did. one day she managed to push one of our windows open and escape when we were out. you tell me thats not going to annoy anyone. also i think not alot of people would not keep a dog that cost them £300 in dog warden fees.but i love her and wont give up on her like most people would. i dont see how this really is my fault at all. i have tried everything to stop her from running away, even putting her on a lead in the garden 10 metres long but she wants to escape even more. :nonod:


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## SleepyBones (Apr 17, 2011)

> all *maisy* wants to do is run





> but that didnt stop *her*





> to get *her* back several





> *he *ran away again for the first time in a week and somebody called me to say they had found *her*


Maybe 'he'she' is peeassssed off because you cant make your mind up if heshe is male or female.
.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

i dont see how this is my fault. my garden is absolutely massive! hedges surround the garden with a small wall at the front. the dog can go right around the sides of the house to get to the front from the back. maisy escapes over the wall or through little gaps in the hedges. we dont like to keep her in all day either, she needs fresh air and time to play outside, its really hard to have an eye on her every second especially when i have two kids to look after aswell. we are very calm with her now and my partner doesnt tell her off when she gets home for escaping. im simply asking abit of advice on how to keep her in the garden. i have tried long 10 metre lead in the garden but that makes her want to escape even more and she sulks and cries when i put her on the long lead. so that didnt work. we have tried lots of nice treats when she gets home from running away and that didnt work either.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

i put he once as you can see, i was typing quickly and obviously missed the s on the front. does that really matter??! dont post on here if you are not going to say anything useful.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

Fleur said:


> Totally agree with this - the dog escaping once is an accident, after that it's your fault for not securing your house and garden.
> Make sure the house is secure and then do some rewards based training to build trust again - lots of yummy treats and a favourite toy along with patience and calm attitude.


i dont see how any of this is my fault. my garden is huge. there are hedges all the way around with little gaps everywhere. if i was to fence the whole garden you are talking 1000s and i rent so i dont think the landlord would agree. she has lots of toys, she gets lots of attention and walks. the only thing i can do for her not to escape is not let her outside enless she needs a wee. thats a bit cruel dont you think?


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

its not that easy. it may sound simple to you but it is impossible to secure the whole garden. i cant keep my eye on her all the time as i have two very young children.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

maisy gets lots of love and attention, my partner loves her as well. at least i haven't given up on her like most people would, she hasn't been the easiest dog to train, she has chewed up most of the house, she went through a stage of attacking other dogs and now running off and cost me £300 in dog warden fees. not alot of people would still have her. i think at least i am trying. i do look after her, she gets lots of walks and play time. shes a lucky dog compared to most. dont judge me just because we have tried to train her a different way to what some people would. we dont know what to do? what else are we supposed to do? the punishment was last resort and it hasn't worked, fair enough. thats why i am asking everyone What shall i do?


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## SleepyBones (Apr 17, 2011)

> dont post on here if you are not going to say anything useful.


I will try my best not to, it won't be easy for me but I will try!
.


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## Sarah1983 (Nov 2, 2011)

Unfortunately your only options are to either secure the garden, keep her on a leash in the garden or build a secure enclosure you can let her out into.

I've been there with an insecure garden. I also had an extremely dog aggressive dog who had a history of killing other animals. He was ONLY outside on a long line. In summer I rigged up a way of securing his line so that he could lie out and sunbathe but not go off hunting.


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## Dogless (Feb 26, 2010)

Sarah1983 said:


> Unfortunately your only options are to either secure the garden, keep her on a leash in the garden or build a secure enclosure you can let her out into.
> 
> I've been there with an insecure garden. I also had an extremely dog aggressive dog who had a history of killing other animals. He was ONLY outside on a long line. In summer I rigged up a way of securing his line so that he could lie out and sunbathe but not go off hunting.


Agree ^^^. Kilo was on lead in the garden when we had an insecure one.

Could you not build a "dog run" or fence some of the garden OP?


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

Yes u think you are both right. I would love to be able to trust her but she not giving me much choice. She hated the lead in the garden because she kept getting tangled up around things, what would be the best thing to make a large pen with? It would need to be quite tall as she jumps really high. Thank you for the helpful responses x


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## Guest (Aug 22, 2013)

SleepyBones said:


> I will try my best not to, it won't be easy for me but I will try!
> .


Won't say anything ^^


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## Sarah1983 (Nov 2, 2011)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> Yes u think you are both right. I would love to be able to trust her but she not giving me much choice. She hated the lead in the garden because she kept getting tangled up around things, what would be the best thing to make a large pen with? It would need to be quite tall as she jumps really high. Thank you for the helpful responses x


Now that I'm afraid I can't help you with as it's not something I've ever done. You can buy kennel runs but I dunno what sort of price you'd be looking at for them. Some have a wire roof on, some a proper roof, either would stop her jumping out. Perhaps have a look at what they're made out of and see if you can make one out of the same sort of stuff if you're pretty handy at DIY


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## Hopeattheendofthetunnel (Jun 26, 2013)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> Ive recently moved house, got a lovely huge garden for maisy (my staffie) to play in though all maisy wants to do is run away for freedom. ive tried hiring a dog walker which she loved, just got her out about for longer walks but that didnt stop her from running out the garden, we have sent £300 on the dog warden to get her back several times and we all got pretty fed up with this happening (nearly everyday sometimes) my partner also tried punishment when she got home, he would smack her bum and put her in her cage, never hurt her in the way of making her cry out but just so she knew she was in trouble. although the issue now was today... he ran away again for the first time in a week and somebody called me to say they had found her, when i met them they opened the car door and maisy was sat in the footwell shaking, ive never raised a hand to her ever and never thought she would be afraid of me. she totally refused to get out of the car and then after we had managed to get her out she tried to jump back in. i have been very upset about this tonight and i don know what to do to make it better. my partner no longer raises a hand to her when she gets home and she is very happy at home. she gets lots of cuddles and attention, we do treat her well and i now she loves us, i just hate seeing her so frightened of being told off. can anyone help? thanks in advance


None of us can undo a mistake - the best thing, the most productive thing, is to learn from it, not repeat it and do better. Which is what you are trying to do.... so I don't entirely understand the tirades from others. Once we knew better, we do better.

Time as well as lots of love and patiencd from your partner can hopefully mend her shaky confidence. It would be great if he could take her on some walks, feed her
some meals and generally has lots of positive interactions with her.

As to addressing the running off from the garden - several possibilities:

* could you fence off a section of your garden to make it escape proof?

* you could investigate invisible fencing ( not cheap, but you don't have to visually divide up the garden)

* or you could tether her to a very long line when unsupervised.

The ONLY thing I wouldn'd do is just hope that she won't run off any more. She will. YOU know where your garden boundry is, but she doesn't. If you think about it - how can she? And when she gets punished for going AWOL, all she understands that people are really cross for some reason and hit her. But she will be totally clueless as to WHY. She can't connect leaving the garden with you being furious. She truly will think you are livid for her coming home.

Good luck!


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## Fleur (Jul 19, 2008)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> Yes u think you are both right. I would love to be able to trust her but she not giving me much choice. She hated the lead in the garden because she kept getting tangled up around things, what would be the best thing to make a large pen with? It would need to be quite tall as she jumps really high. Thank you for the helpful responses x


I would never advise leaving a dog tethered unsupervised but for when you are in the garden with your children how about a zip line - a high line like a straight washing line with a long line clipped to it so your dog can run up and down. A friend on mine had a set up like this for her spaniel, you have to supervise and ensure the dog can't get tangled in anything or you risk strangulation however it worked well for my friend.


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## Debbierobb109 (Mar 23, 2013)

not sure how big your garden is but you can make budget fences. you can get posts and galvanised wire mesh/reclaimed wood/plastic panels/aviary panels etc...maybe you could fence off a section of the garden.....its YOUR responsibility to keep your dog safe, she doesnt know that its not safe for her to go roaming so its up to you to keep her safe, if you dont enclose some of the garden then she is always going to escape. saying its not your fault is ridiculous...of course its your fault, she has escaped more thann once so you are aware of the danger, its not a one off, training a dog takes patience , if you dont make it fun for the dog to learn then she wont be interested and you will just end up going round in circles.


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## LittleSherlock (Jan 30, 2013)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> its not that easy. it may sound simple to you but it is impossible to secure the whole garden. i cant keep my eye on her all the time as i have two very young children.


If you can't keep an eye on her the entire time she is in an unsecured garden then you shouldn't let her out in the garden. Why does she need to be out there unsupervised anyway?
We have a secure garden, but Sherlock is never out there alone or where I can't see him.
Its not the dog's fault - any dog that sees an opportunity to go and explore will do so. She doesn't know any better, but you do, and you knew she could escape from the garden and continue to let her out unsupervised, and then seem annoyed with her that she leaves the garden?

Either you need to secure the garden, build a secure area in the garden, or keep her inside and only let her out while you are there to supervise.

PS I'm also not sure where your idea that Staffies are a difficult breed to train came from


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

Stafford are not an easy breed to train, Maisy is definitely not the smartest of dogs. Why do you think so many staffers have no homes? I would never give her away or give up on her, at least she has a stable home unlike others of her breed. Don't you think it's a bit unfair if I let her in the garden for a quick wee and bring her straight back in? Dogs can't be locked inside 24/7 also she jumps out of my conservatory window which I have to have open because its like a sauna! There's no door separating the conservatory from the rest of the house either. Me and my partner have decided to put a strong fence up at the back of the garden, it will be costly but I don't have much choice. We have bought her a huge kennel to shelter in if it rains and she will have lots of toys and food with her. The only thing I don't like about it is that I won't see her as much during the day and she won't have quite as much room as I would like for her to stretch her legs but its still big enough for about 3dogs so it's plenty big enough to play in. Everyone learns from mistakes and as someone mentioned on another post...how am I supposed to know what to do? Now I know what's best and the fence will be up over the weekend. I may even post a pic of it once finished. Maisy has been a lot happier the last few days as I have asked my partner to walk her and give her lots of praise and love. She seems on the mend now.


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## sharloid (Apr 15, 2012)

You can't keep letting your dog out in the garden if she keeps escaping. You've been very lucky so far that she hasn't been injured or worse. Poor, poor dog. It is absolutely your fault if she's getting out, and it would be your fault if she got killed by a car. 

Surely it would be better for her to be inside the house with the family than outside in the garden by herself? If she keeps escaping then there's obviously nothing there to occupy her.


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## LittleSherlock (Jan 30, 2013)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> Stafford are not an easy breed to train, Maisy is definitely not the smartest of dogs. Why do you think so many staffers have no homes? I would never give her away or give up on her, at least she has a stable home unlike others of her breed. Don't you think it's a bit unfair if I let her in the garden for a quick wee and bring her straight back in? Dogs can't be locked inside 24/7 also she jumps out of my conservatory window which I have to have open because its like a sauna! There's no door separating the conservatory from the rest of the house either. Me and my partner have decided to put a strong fence up at the back of the garden, it will be costly but I don't have much choice. We have bought her a huge kennel to shelter in if it rains and she will have lots of toys and food with her. The only thing I don't like about it is that I won't see her as much during the day and she won't have quite as much room as I would like for her to stretch her legs but its still big enough for about 3dogs so it's plenty big enough to play in. Everyone learns from mistakes and as someone mentioned on another post...how am I supposed to know what to do? Now I know what's best and the fence will be up over the weekend. I may even post a pic of it once finished. Maisy has been a lot happier the last few days as I have asked my partner to walk her and give her lots of praise and love. She seems on the mend now.


I know dozens of Staffies and none of them have been any more difficult to train than any other dog - it just takes time and patience and perseverance - just like any other dog. Lots of Staffies end up in rescues because Owners don't take the time to give them the attention and exercise that they need.

I also know dozens of dogs, and there are dogs on here that are always in doors. Several people have dogs in flats with no garden and survive just fine. My own dog only goes out into the back garden most days for toilet trips. Sometimes on the weekends he will be out all day, but I or my OH are always out there with him - if we are not, he is brought inside. This doesn't mean he is locked in doors all day long - he gets a 1hr walk in the morning, and a 90 minute walk later in the day and we play/train with him during the day and other than that he pretty much sleeps. This is actually a normal routine with a dog.

I also only open windows in the house that I know he can't get to, so high up windows, or I keep him out of the room that the window is open in if there is a risk he might get out. That is my responsibility as his owner.

I'm glad you've decided to invest in a secure fence. Just please accept that none of the escaping behaviours you have described are your dogs fault. She is being a dog. It is our responsibility to keep our dogs safe and secure.


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## Hopeattheendofthetunnel (Jun 26, 2013)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> We have bought her a huge kennel to shelter in if it rains and she will have lots of toys and food with her. The only thing I don't like about it is that I won't see her as much during the day and she won't have quite as much room as I would like for her to stretch her legs but its still big enough for about 3dogs so it's plenty big enough to play in.


Maybe I am having a dim day...but I don't understand your new proposed containment system.

Why won't you see her as much during the day just because the garden will be fenced?

Are you planning to keep her permanently in the kennel and garden from now on?

Entirely your business if you do, of course, but not an improvement in living situation for your dog.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

Staffies are very smart dogs, that's why she's running away because she's bored. And its your fault, you decided to get the dog despite having two young children. 
I'm not impressed with your partner hitting her : that's really going to encourage a dog to come back isn't it?
My mum has a big garden similar to yours, she's managed to fence it all the way round, don't know how much it cost but it wouldn't have been £1000s of pounds. Having a rented house is not much of an excuse - ask the landlord's permission to fence it? If not, look for another house with a secure garden and better fencing.
It does sound like you are intending on keeping her outside - do you ever walk the dog?


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

None of you seem to have a clue of my situation! I didn't post on here to get grief! She is very well looked after, and I know a lot of Staffies that either bite other dogs, be over exited and jump up at people, chew the house up! Don't anyone tell me about wether a Staffie can be difficult to train or not enless you actually have one! I'm not saying Maisy is bad and I know it's not her fault, I'm not stupid! I had Maisy before I had my kids too, and being young I didn't know how hard it would be to look after a dog, but I do it! And she loves it here, I'm doing all I can so keep your nasty comments to yourselves! As for the fence she will not be up there perminantly it's an enclosed area that my partner will make will a large kennel inside for a bit of shelter and shade(which is really important!) if she wants to use it. None of this is my fault! I am trying so hard! I felt it would be really mean to leave her indoors everyday,especially as Maisy cries at the door 24/7. She loves it outside especially if its sunny and she will sun bath. I also can't be with Maisy outside all the time as I have two children of 2 and 4 years old. If one cries I have to run in the house, Maisy rebels and sometimes won't come in because she wants to stay outside, I don't have time to drag her in if my kids are wailing! Try having 2 young kids and a dog. At least I don't give up on her. You cant even guarantee good homes for dogs anymore. I am not a bad person and I look after my dog!e


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

Hopeattheendofthetunnel said:


> Maybe I am having a dim day...but I don't understand your new proposed containment system.
> 
> Why won't you see her as much during the day just because the garden will be fenced?
> 
> ...


Maisy will only be in there a few hours a day and it will be at the back of the garden so she won't see us as much. I have to do it at the back of the garden because there is no where else to do it. She will still come in the house if its really horrible weather and she will still sleep in the house.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

Exactly, we don't know your situation, we can only go on what you've told us. Is your partner building an enclosed dog run? Or is it just a kennel? That's what I couldn't figure out, but you wouldn't need to build a very high run if you put a bit of it reaching inwards over the top so the dog won't attempt to jump out. I'm asking a genuine question here, not a dig, do you actually walk the dog and give her some mental stimulation? I understand staffies can be stubborn, but eventually they will learn.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

Wiz201 said:


> Staffies are very smart dogs, that's why she's running away because she's bored. And its your fault, you decided to get the dog despite having two young children.
> I'm not impressed with your partner hitting her : that's really going to encourage a dog to come back isn't it?
> My mum has a big garden similar to yours, she's managed to fence it all the way round, don't know how much it cost but it wouldn't have been £1000s of pounds. Having a rented house is not much of an excuse - ask the landlord's permission to fence it? If not, look for another house with a secure garden and better fencing.
> It does sound like you are intending on keeping her outside - do you ever walk the dog?


I think this quote is really nasty! I can't move, I'm in a contract. I would never move anyway because my house is amazing! It would cost me 1000s to fence the entire garden. Are you a gardener? Do you know how much wood costs these days? And you don't seem to understand how big my garden is, I'm not living in a shitty little house with a crap little garden that most people would call big(like yourself I suppose). It's impossible to do! The fact I'm renting is a very good excuse! It's not my house! As for my partner, I don't wether you are impressed or not. He never made her squeal out like she was hurt. And he only did it a couple of times . And not that's its right but a lot of people hit there dog if they are being bad, go have a go at them! I have never laid a hand on my dog! Also I had Maisy before I had children. Maisy won't be kept outside its just for during the day.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

Wiz201 said:


> Exactly, we don't know your situation, we can only go on what you've told us. Is your partner building an enclosed dog run? Or is it just a kennel? That's what I couldn't figure out, but you wouldn't need to build a very high run if you put a bit of it reaching inwards over the top so the dog won't attempt to jump out. I'm asking a genuine question here, not a dig, do you actually walk the dog and give her some mental stimulation? I understand staffies can be stubborn, but eventually they will learn.


It will be an enclosed dog run but fenced around properly and will be about 6ft high. The kennel is just so she can get out of the sun and rain if she needs to. She gets walked everyday for about half hour a day and we take her to idles woods a couple times a week for at least 2hours a time as its a long walk but really nice, I wasn't aiming my previous message at everyone, I just love my dog and people are treating me as I'm I'm cruel.


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## LittleSherlock (Jan 30, 2013)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> I think this quote is really nasty! I can't move, I'm in a contract. I would never move anyway because my house is amazing! It would cost me 1000s to fence the entire garden. Are you a gardener? Do you know how much wood costs these days? And you don't seem to understand how big my garden is, *I'm not living in a shitty little house with a crap little garden that most people would call big(like yourself I suppose)*. It's impossible to do! The fact I'm renting is a very good excuse! It's not my house! As for my partner, I don't wether you are impressed or not. He never made her squeal out like she was hurt. And he only did it a couple of times . And not that's its right but a lot of people hit there dog if they are being bad, go have a go at them! I have never laid a hand on my dog! Also I had Maisy before I had children. Maisy won't be kept outside its just for during the day.


I think you need to take a step back - the people here are responding to the information you have given us. We would react the same to anyone who told us they had or had allowed a member of their family to hit their dog - once is too many times to hit a dog - you asked for advise and you were given it - just because it isn't what you want to hear or are willing to do is no reason to make personal attacks on people.

I have experience with Staffy's as friends and family members and none of the behaviour problems you have listed are unique to Staffy's - all dogs do those things if they aren't trained properly.

Your dog keeps escaping an unsecure garden and you asked how to stop it happening and how to stop your dog being afraid of coming home, and we told you to put up a fence - this is extremely sensible and wise advise - and not to punish her for doing something that she doesn't even know is wrong. You made several attempts to divert the blame onto the dog and said in several several posts that her escaping frequently is not your fault - then whose fault is it?

You have been rude and dismissive of any attempt members here have made to give you advise and help your dog - you obviously feel you know best, which is fine, but don't get nasty to people who are trying to do good by your dog.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

LittleSherlock said:


> I think you need to take a step back - the people here are responding to the information you have given us. We would react the same to anyone who told us they had or had allowed a member of their family to hit their dog - once is too many times to hit a dog - you asked for advise and you were given it - just because it isn't what you want to hear or are willing to do is no reason to make personal attacks on people.
> 
> I have experience with Staffy's as friends and family members and none of the behaviour problems you have listed are unique to Staffy's - all dogs do those things if they aren't trained properly.
> 
> ...


I've never said it was my dogs fault. Nor is it mine! I have explained my situation clearly and answered everyone's questions. Maybe you should start from the beginning and read them all again. Like I said before... I have tried so hard to stop Maisy leaving and in my situation it is hard! Not all dogs are the same, Maisy is very good and we have trained her well. We just can't stop her from roaming around.dont just assume that I haven't trained her correctly and that I don't look after her. Just because you have seen your friends Staffie doesn't mean you know mine at all or that you are an expert on the breed. I have only been as rude as everyone else has been to me.


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## LittleSherlock (Jan 30, 2013)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> I've never said it was my dogs fault. Nor is it mine! I have explained my situation clearly and answered everyone's questions. Maybe you should start from the beginning and read them all again. Like I said before... I have tried so hard to stop Maisy leaving and in my situation it is hard! Not all dogs are the same, Maisy is very good and we have trained her well. We just can't stop her from roaming around.dont just assume that I haven't trained her correctly and that I don't look after her. Just because you have seen your friends Staffie doesn't mean you know mine at all or that you are an expert on the breed. I have only been as rude as everyone else has been to me.


If its not your fault that your dog is allowed to escape from your unsecure garden then whose fault is it exactly? You can stop her from roaming around as we have all said -until now you have chosen not to stop her by letting her out somewhere you know is not secure - if she got out and got hit by a car or bit somebody and got pts for it that WOULD be your fault - extreme I know but it could easily happen.

Everyone here has just answered your question - you asked, how do you stop her roaming, and the unanimous answer was to secure the garden or keep her indoors when you can't supervise her outside.

I think there's nothing more anybody can add or that you can take from this thread. You have a plan to put her somewhere more secure and thats really ultimately all that matters. It just saddens me that you still think that all her escaping was not your fault


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

So if your partner only hit her once or twice then why mention it? Anyway, sounds like you're starting to manage the situation now. I may have come across as being rude but I was only defending the dog based on the information given to me.


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## Nonnie (Apr 15, 2009)

Well i have two Staffies, so i guess one could class me as experienced whatever that actually means. 

Firstly, 30 mins a day for a high energy, intelligent breed, is nowhere near enough exercise. Can you double this and split it into two walks?

Apart from this 30 min walk, what else do you do with her? What daily training? What mental stimulation do you provide?

To be honest, she sounds bored, so no wonder she would rather stay outside, and escape from your garden as its a self rewarding behaviour and obviously far more exciting and fulfilling than anything you are providing. The fact she has also been destructive is a clear indicator that her mind needs more to do.

If fencing isn't an option, then a decent harness and a tie out stake and line would work.

Staffies are no harder to train than any other breed. It all boils down to commitment, consistency, and finding out what motivates the individual as a reward.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

LittleSherlock said:


> If its not your fault that your dog is allowed to escape from your unsecure garden then whose fault is it exactly? You can stop her from roaming around as we have all said -until now you have chosen not to stop her by letting her out somewhere you know is not secure - if she got out and got hit by a car or bit somebody and got pts for it that WOULD be your fault - extreme I know but it could easily happen.
> 
> Everyone here has just answered your question - you asked, how do you stop her roaming, and the unanimous answer was to secure the garden or keep her indoors when you can't supervise her outside.
> 
> I think there's nothing more anybody can add or that you can take from this thread. You have a plan to put her somewhere more secure and thats really ultimately all that matters. It just saddens me that you still think that all her escaping was not your fault


It doesn't have to be anyone's fault, why had something got to be blamed on someone? Yes my question was answered with a load of nasty comments aswel . I didn't post on her to be given grief ! And no it NOT my fault. I do all I can. If I find I cannot afford this fence then Maisy will just have to stay in all day.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> It doesn't have to be anyone's fault, *why had something got to be blamed on someone*? Yes my question was answered with a load of nasty comments aswel . I didn't post on her to be given grief ! And no it NOT my fault. I do all I can. If I find I cannot afford this fence then Maisy will just have to stay in all day.


Because she is _your_ dog therefore it's _your_ responsibility to keep her safe.

You have had lots of really good suggestions for how to manage the situation, & so far the only nasty comments I've seen have been by you, directed at several members who have taken the time to respond.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

there is nothing wrong with a dog staying in all day, my retrievers are happy with this arrangement as long as they are walked, which I know you said you do. Leave her with a stuffed frozen kong and she'll be happy.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

Wiz201 said:


> So if your partner only hit her once or twice then why mention it? Anyway, sounds like you're starting to manage the situation now. I may have come across as being rude but I was only defending the dog based on the information given to me.


I mentioned it as I was worried about Maisy as she's very timid sometimes. She's still well looked after


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

simplysardonic said:


> Because she is _your_ dog therefore it's _your_ responsibility to keep her safe.
> 
> You have had lots of really good suggestions for how to manage the situation, & so far the only nasty comments I've seen have been by you, directed at several members who have taken the time to respond.


I have hardly been nasty. Just because you don't know my situation doesn't mean that you or anyone can say poor dog as if its been neglected or its your fault! When did I ask anyone if it was my fault? Keep that bit of information to yourselves.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

Nonnie said:


> Well i have two Staffies, so i guess one could class me as experienced whatever that actually means.
> 
> Firstly, 30 mins a day for a high energy, intelligent breed, is nowhere near enough exercise. Can you double this and split it into two walks?
> 
> ...


Maisy is not destructive at all. She wa when she was a puppy. I think I walk her enough considering she gets let off the lead twice a week at the woods. I think that makes up for it. She also has lots of toys and we do give her lots of stimulation. I was outside in the rain one evening kicking a ball around the garden with her. Like I said she's well looked after. She's just curious of the outside world.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

i will get a kong, thanks for the suggestion.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> I have hardly been nasty. Just because you don't know my situation doesn't mean that you or anyone can say poor dog as if its been neglected or its your fault! When did I ask anyone if it was my fault? Keep that bit of information to yourselves.


Nobody has said 'poor dog' on this thread, you have volunteered information about your partner hitting your dog, which people are not going to like (myself included) & to which they will respond- most people on here aren't keen on animals getting hit. You have claimed your (dog aggressive!)dog regularly escapes, therefore this is an issue you have to address, because what you are letting your dog do is illegal. You have had advice, but keep coming up with excuses for not implementing any of them, that is down to you. If you can't or won't do something about your unsafe garden, then the only option is not to let her out unsupervised. Simples


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

simplysardonic said:


> Nobody has said 'poor dog' on this thread, you have volunteered information about your partner hitting your dog, which people are not going to like (myself included) & to which they will respond- most people on here aren't keen on animals getting hit. You have claimed your (dog aggressive!)dog regularly escapes, therefore this is an issue you have to address, because what you are letting your dog do is illegal. You have had advice, but keep coming up with excuses for not implementing any of them, that is down to you. If you can't or won't do something about your unsafe garden, then the only option is not to let her out unsupervised. Simples


when did i say my dog is aggressive? read properly! someone stated poor dog. you obviously didnt read it all did you. dont be a know it all, and if your not going to say anything useful then dont bother. thanks for the load of rubbish ive just had to read its amusing.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

sharloid said:


> You can't keep letting your dog out in the garden if she keeps escaping. You've been very lucky so far that she hasn't been injured or worse. Poor, poor dog.
> 
> Can you read this? thanks very much..


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> *when did i say my dog is aggressive*? read properly! someone stated poor dog. you obviously didnt read it all did you. dont be a know it all, and if your not going to say anything useful then dont bother. thanks for the load of rubbish ive just had to read its amusing.


Here you go, from your second post:


> shes been very destructive, attacks over dogs off the lead (now she always wears a muzzle off lead) and then she starts to run away.


I would be very unimpressed if your out of control dog attacked my onlead dog just because you couldn't take responsibility for her.

You carry on being rude, it's making you look foolish, not me


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## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

If a dog of mine could get out the garden, I wouldn't let her in the garden without a leash...end of.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

simplysardonic said:


> Here you go, from your second post:
> 
> I would be very unimpressed if your out of control dog attacked my onlead dog just because you couldn't take responsibility for her.
> 
> You carry on being rude, it's making you look foolish, not me


if you look properly i also stated that she is not like that anymore. she always has a muzzle on for precaution though. i always take responsibility for her. she is not destructive anymore either, obviously im doing something right. stop trying to come up with excuses to make me look bad. you obviously haven't got anything better to do? and learn how to read, how old are you? and i dont care about your opinion. find something else to do, have a go at your mum or something, bed time soon.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

paddyjulie said:


> If a dog of mine could get out the garden, I wouldn't let her in the garden without a leash...end of.


tried that, as soon as you let her out for a wee in the morning or night she runs within seconds. i think that makes it worse for them and they want to go more, im also concerned that she will chock herself as she gets caught up in the lead all the time.


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## paddyjulie (May 9, 2009)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> tried that, as soon as you let her out for a wee in the morning or night she runs within seconds. i think that makes it worse for them and they want to go more, im also concerned that she will chock herself as she gets caught up in the lead all the time.


You walk with her on the lead .


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> if you look properly i also stated that she is not like that anymore. she always has a muzzle on for precaution though.* i always take responsibility for her. *


Except when she is allowed to escape, sorry, but that's not responsible dog ownership.



Tonipascoe11 said:


> she is not destructive anymore either, obviously im doing something right. *stop trying to come up with excuses to make me look bad*. you obviously haven't got anything better to do? and learn how to read, how old are you? and i dont care about your opinion. find something else to do, have a go at your mum or something, bed time soon.


You're doing a fine job of that yourself


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

simplysardonic said:


> Except when she is allowed to escape, sorry, but that's not responsible dog ownership.
> 
> You're doing a fine job of that yourself


bye now not interested.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

Funnily enough I was losing interest too after giving good advice you turned around.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

turned around in what way?


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## MrRustyRead (Mar 14, 2011)

so your dog keeps escaping because your garden isnt enclosed...... surely this should of been something you thought about before you got the dog.


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## MegrezBC (Jul 13, 2012)

So, let me get this straight You leave your dog unsupervised in a garden you know it can escape from and then punish it when it gets back You then wonder why your dog doesnt want to come back and is frightened of you? AND you call yourself a responsible dog owner?! Sadly, its owners like you who give staffies a bad reputation  
You need to do a lot of positive training and quickly! Sounds like this dog also needs more exercise and stimulation too.


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## Hopeattheendofthetunnel (Jun 26, 2013)

Could we perhaps please start to cut the OP some slack?

She is a mum with 2 young children, living in a rented place, trying to do the right thing for her dog.

Does she do it EXACTLY how we would do it? Likely not.

But what she also doesn't do is tie her dog to a lamp post at a service station and drive off. What she also doesn't do is just drop her off at the next Cats and Dogs Home. What she also doesn't do is beat her senseless just for kicks.

Yet....this is exactly what happens to many dogs.

So if we want to go on a crusade of animal defence maybe we ought to pick a more worthy target than a fellow dog owner coming on a forum asking for help. Because this is turning really ugly.

Please?


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## Dogless (Feb 26, 2010)

Maybe if you can't secure the garden you could look at doing some training out there with your dog on a longline?

You can buy fun agility sets pretty cheaply (Zooplus is good) or do some scent work or clicker training. Impulse control games can be very good indeed for using both mental and physical energy and if you are interested in any of these I'm happy to go into more detail, recommend books etc.

Finally a plea to please ensure your dog never, ever gets out unmuzzled again if she has attacked dogs in the past. My own dog was attacked last month by a dog who escaped it's garden and although the physical injuries are healing well he is psychologically a total wreck. It is going to take me a long, long time to "rebuild" him I suspect (if I ever can).


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## lozzibear (Feb 5, 2010)

Wow, remind me never to come on here to ask for advice... oops, I forgot, I have learnt that already myself 

Now, I do not condone for one minute that the OPs partner hit the dog and my heart did drop when I read that, HOWEVER the OP clearly states in the OP that she (assuming the OP is a she, sorry if you aren't ) herself has never raised a hand to the dog AND that her partner no longer raises a hand to the dog AND that she is very upset about the dog being scared... Now, while I don't condone the punishment of the dog, I don't think there is a need for people to criticise the OP in the way they have when she mentioned all of that in the OP. Now, maybe it was just me, but the impression *I* got from the OP was that she has learnt that the punishment was not the right way to go about things. So, is all the criticism on that point really necessary? Me, I think not. That is merely my opinion, and going by the thread I am, sadly, in the minority 

I also don't condone letting the dog escape repeatedly BUT the OP is on here, asking questions to HELP the situation. If she really didn't give two hoots then she wouldn't be on here. And she has now said she is getting a run for the dog so she is now taking responsibility for the situation. And then we get onto the exercise issue... Now, yes I do agree that 30 minutes isn't a lot for a dog, especially a dog of a breed like a SBT. However, the OP does also state that she gets a two hour walk in the woods a couple times a week and plays in the garden with her dog too. So, it isn't as though she barely gets walked... could she get more? Of course, but she still gets walked which is more that a lot of other dogs in this country get!

I know I am in the minority with my opinions, but to be honest, I no longer give two hoots. I really do not get the necessity of being nasty/rude/critical etc to people who come on and ask for help... I am of the opinion that offering advice in a friendly, helpful manner goes a lot further than being critical and making people feel like crap... but hey, that is just me.

To the OP, I hope you can get everything sorted with Maisy and that you stick around here  There are lots of friendly people on here.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

lozzibear said:


> Wow, remind me never to come on here to ask for advice... oops, I forgot, I have learnt that already myself
> 
> Now, I do not condone for one minute that the OPs partner hit the dog and my heart did drop when I read that, HOWEVER the OP clearly states in the OP that she (assuming the OP is a she, sorry if you aren't ) herself has never raised a hand to the dog AND that her partner no longer raises a hand to the dog AND that she is very upset about the dog being scared... Now, while I don't condone the punishment of the dog, I don't think there is a need for people to criticise the OP in the way they have when she mentioned all of that in the OP. Now, maybe it was just me, but the impression *I* got from the OP was that she has learnt that the punishment was not the right way to go about things. So, is all the criticism on that point really necessary? Me, I think not. That is merely my opinion, and going by the thread I am, sadly, in the minority
> 
> ...


The OP has been aggressive & rude to people offering perfectly reasonable advice in a perfectly reasonable manner. Politeness works both ways 

ETA: I hope the OP finds a solution to their dog running off


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## hazel pritchard (Jun 28, 2009)

Hi OP , could you maybe join a dog training club? that way your dog and you will learn how to recall your dog(at the club i go to we have staffies there who seem to learn really quickly while having fun at training at the same time) i would also recommend taking your dog into your garden on a long lead and having lots of great games so your dog will see its a fun place to be, it does take dogs a time to settle in a new place, if your dog does not feel settled in the new home yet maybe you could put a few old jumpers of yours in his bed so at least he will have comfort there, hope all works out ok and your dog settles soon xx


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## lozzibear (Feb 5, 2010)

simplysardonic said:


> The OP has been aggressive & rude to people offering perfectly reasonable advice in a perfectly reasonable manner. Politeness works both ways
> 
> ETA: I hope the OP finds a solution to their dog running off


I didn't say she hadn't been, but I think it is a natural defense when people feel criticised. It happens time and time again on here (and other forums) and I am not at all surprised. The way people responded to her OP - that would get a lot of people's backs up. I have been in that situation myself, and I have reacted similarly - it isn't nice when people make you feel like a s*** owner. I now do my very best to not react to those people, even stepping away from the computer and thinking about my response before I type, otherwise my hands will take over and god knows what I will end up saying  But, it took time for me to be able to do that - I used to get so angry that yes, I would write an angry response. So, I fully understand why people do that when people respond in the way they did in this case.

The was people act when criticised - as shown in this thread - is exactly why I think it is better for people to take a helpful, friendly approach because people are far more likely to listen.

ETA: Also, the rude/angry responses from the OP seemed to come after rude posts from other members first... she seemed perfectly polite, IMO, to those who actually offered proper advice - until the point where the keyboard warriors appeared.


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## caroleduffin (Mar 12, 2009)

Hi. This really sounds like a classic case of wrong breed of dog for the domestic situation! Unsecured garden, busy owners, small children and difficult powerful breed of dog. Most breeds of dog would go exploring from a garden like this. May sound harsh, but I don't think you will be able to alter this situation, and disaster will occur. Good luck. Carole


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## Paula07 (Aug 23, 2010)

I have only had a quick look through this so sorry if I have missed anything. 

I agree with what others have said OP, Maisy is your dog therefor your responsibility. My dogs are only out in the garden when I am there to supervise them and I have a large garden enclosed by a six foot fence.

It sounds as if Maisy is lacking in mental stimulation and possibly exercise. Maybe you could increase her walks and do some training with her? I spend about half and hour to an hour a day training Nick tricks, he loves it and it tires him out. I appreciate not everyone has time for this but even 15-20mins with a couple of good walks throughout the day. Also I would keep her on a longline when out in the garden so she can go about her business, but unless you are with her I don't see the need for her to be outside. I hope you manage to get things sorted.


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## Tonipascoe11 (Aug 21, 2013)

lozzibear said:


> Wow, remind me never to come on here to ask for advice... oops, I forgot, I have learnt that already myself
> 
> Now, I do not condone for one minute that the OPs partner hit the dog and my heart did drop when I read that, HOWEVER the OP clearly states in the OP that she (assuming the OP is a she, sorry if you aren't ) herself has never raised a hand to the dog AND that her partner no longer raises a hand to the dog AND that she is very upset about the dog being scared... Now, while I don't condone the punishment of the dog, I don't think there is a need for people to criticise the OP in the way they have when she mentioned all of that in the OP. Now, maybe it was just me, but the impression *I* got from the OP was that she has learnt that the punishment was not the right way to go about things. So, is all the criticism on that point really necessary? Me, I think not. That is merely my opinion, and going by the thread I am, sadly, in the minority
> 
> ...


Thank you very much. It was really upsetting yesterday when everyone was so judging of me. Work for the pen starts tomorrow morning which I'm very excited about! I wasn't going to ever use this site again but as I can see there are still nice people on here xx


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

LittleSherlock said:


> If you can't keep an eye on her the entire time she is in an unsecured garden then you shouldn't let her out in the garden. Why does she need to be out there unsupervised anyway?
> We have a secure garden, but Sherlock is never out there alone or where I can't see him.
> Its not the dog's fault - any dog that sees an opportunity to go and explore will do so. She doesn't know any better, but you do, and you knew she could escape from the garden and continue to let her out unsupervised, and then seem annoyed with her that she leaves the garden?
> 
> ...


*
*

I would agree with that - we have had four, and they've all been very bright and eager to please. They are very energetic, though, and can get over-excited and forget themselves.

However OP, I completely empathise with you regarding how destructive they can be - ours pulled off wallpaper, ate flooring and dug through doors! Boredom when they were left alone. Cost us a bliddy fortune!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> None of you seem to have a clue of my situation! I didn't post on here to get grief! She is very well looked after, and I know a lot of Staffies that either bite other dogs, be over exited and jump up at people, chew the house up! Don't anyone tell me about wether a Staffie can be difficult to train or not enless you actually have one! I'm not saying Maisy is bad and I know it's not her fault, I'm not stupid! *I had Maisy before I had my kids* too, and being young I didn't know how hard it would be to look after a dog, but I do it! And she loves it here, I'm doing all I can so keep your nasty comments to yourselves! As for the fence she will not be up there perminantly it's an enclosed area that my partner will make will a large kennel inside for a bit of shelter and shade(which is really important!) if she wants to use it. None of this is my fault! I am trying so hard! I felt it would be really mean to leave her indoors everyday,especially as Maisy cries at the door 24/7. She loves it outside especially if its sunny and she will sun bath. I also can't be with Maisy outside all the time as* I have two children of 2 and 4 years old. If one cries I have to run in the house, Maisy rebels and sometimes won't come in because she wants to stay outside, I don't have time to drag her in if my kids are wailing! *Try having 2 young kids and a dog. At least I don't give up on her. You cant even guarantee good homes for dogs anymore. I am not a bad person and I look after my dog!e


Been there, done that, and you're right - it's hard work and very frustrating sometimes. If she likes being outside and you are able to give her a kennel and run, I'd say go for it. She'll be okay a couple of hours a day out there and you will be able to get on with your babies. In the cold weather she will be best in the house, though. You must stop her escaping - not just because it's costing you a small fortune, but because she could get stolen or run over, or cause someone else to have an accident, or even kill a dog or cat. I think you are doing the right thing by giving her an outdoor run. A good outdoor toy for staffies is a boomer ball - you may have one - if not, they're a pretty heavy, solid ball that the dog can't chew, but can easily push about and chase. Our Grace loves it. You may find that she barks more when she is outside because she will be aware of people and dogs going past - hopefully she won't be too bad, but it might be a good idea to sit her run away from areas that have a lot of foot-traffic.

I hope you get sorted out. It isn't easy, butyou'll get there.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Hopeattheendofthetunnel said:


> Could we perhaps please start to cut the OP some slack?
> 
> She is a mum with 2 young children, living in a rented place, trying to do the right thing for her dog.
> 
> ...


Thank you! Some sanity at last! - I can see that she's at the end of her tether and worried that she'll have to part with her pet - she's also got two young kiddies that HAVE to be her first priority.

Her partner has smacked the dog out of frustration - no, it's not ideal - it's not even excusable, but these are human beings who get worried and frustrated and angry when they're pushed past their limits. Have none of us never done something we regret? I know I have.

Please let's just help her to get the problem sorted. Staffies are very affectionate and sensitive (many people don't realise this) and they can be easily affected by something like a smack, but treated kindly she will soon learn to trust again. They are also energetic, intelligent, adrenaline junkies - they live for fun and frolics, and that can make them hard work. OP had the dog first - look how many people get rid of their dogs when they even have a baby on the way - she hasn't and she's doing her best. Let's give her a break here.


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## lozzibear (Feb 5, 2010)

Tonipascoe11 said:


> Thank you very much. It was really upsetting yesterday when everyone was so judging of me. Work for the pen starts tomorrow morning which I'm very excited about! I wasn't going to ever use this site again but as I can see there are still nice people on here xx


I have been in that situation myself... I was actually in a similar situation recently where people, who I thought knew me and therefore knew how much I love my dogs, basically accused me of putting myself first and not caring about my dog... and so towards some people I reacted in a similar way to you - so much so that some people actually commented that they had never seen me post like that so that was clearly showing them just how much I was upset and hurt.

That is great news about the run! I have a dog similar to yours, he is a BC and he does not like being inside too often... I usually have to force him in the house at night because he wants to lie out there! Even in the winter, when it is snowing, he will lie there and sleep... he is a bleeding nightmare  

there are some lovely people on here... and we often disagree with each other but then in other threads chat away like good friends


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