# HELP! naughty neighbours "adopting" cats



## 3muskateers (Jun 6, 2010)

Hello there, 

Hope it was a pleasant weekend where you are. 

I'm wondering if anyone out there could provide some advice for me. We are having a little bit of a issue on our street and I'm not sure if I am over-reacting a touch (I don't think I am, but need a bit of a sense check).

Over the past 2 months, one fairly new neighbour on our street has decided to take in (not one, but three) cats on our street. This neighbour is not a pet-owner, is married and has two children who are teenagers. 

Over the last few months, this neighbour and her family:
- have had three neighbourhood cats in her house
- have fed the cats
- have had the cats stay overnight upstairs in her children's rooms (I only know this because I can see the cats sitting on the children's windows from our garden as the cats basque in the sun) 

Initially, this neighbour was hosting and feeding just one of our neighbour's cats, then she was hosting a second neighbour's cat (both of these two cats have urinary tract medical conditions, one is old and very, very week at the moment). The two owners of these two cats have individually put notes in this neighbour's post box, requesting that the cats not be fed due to their medical conditions. 

Most recently, the neighbour has started inviting our one-eyed cat into her house and feeding him. In addition to being fed, he has also been upstairs in her house ...(which was a complete surprise to me when I knocked on the neighbour's door at 11pm after calling for our cat for 20 minutes outside our windows - only to see the daughter grasping at our cat's legs as she grabbed him to bring him down her staircase). This left me shocked as our cat has weak hips requiring expensive medical attention and can't actually climb up or down stairs very well (and does not respond very well to being "grabbed").

I'm not really sure what to do. A few weeks ago (before my cat was in her house), this neighbour and I did bump into each other one afternoon. During our chat, she mentioned that she didn't want to fall out with any of our other neighbours due to a cat issue. I thought that was innocent of her, but when I then found our cat in her house just a week or so later, I was a bit shocked to be honest. Sadly, I believe that she continues to have our cat in her house even though I have been very direct about saying that we are not open to "sharing" our cats in this way. I don't know if I should think that this neighbour is simply ignorant of pet care or, god forbid, just blindly inconsiderate. 

Any advice? 

I'm thinking that it might be best to invite her over for a cup of tea to talk through the medical issues that our cats have and to acknowledge that I understand she will do what she wants regardless of what I as a pet owner request. And with the latter in mind, it is important that she understand each of our cats particular medical and individual needs. 

Am I being a bit too protective? I don't feel like I am. 

Any advice?


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

Apart from the obvious ... talking to her over a cup of tea, appeal to her better nature. I think the only other option you have is to keep your cat indoors. I don't think the police ca do anything, as presumably she lets them back out again after a while?

Unless of course you call it animal cruelty if you make her aware of your cats injuries and she continues to grab its legs ....


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## CarolineH (Aug 4, 2009)

I have a neighbour like that.  I tried keeping my cat in for a few weeks then allowing him out with a disc on that said 'Do not feed. Diabetic!' (he isn't really) to no avail. I tried to have civil words with the woman, she just paid lip service and carried on. 

My cat is now 17 and he still goes there for his meals.  He always comes back here though which is my main concern. Most local cats end up going to her place for food and I know she ended up with another neighbours cat permanantly. I won't have anymore cats when Ziggy is gone because of her - just not worth the hassle. There just does not seem like there is anything you can do about people like that?


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## tafwoc (Nov 12, 2009)

I have 2 neighbours like this, right next door to me. All 3 of my cats go around to theirs, and i hear them asking saying 'oh you poor things, haven't they fed you.' Yes we have, they are just pigs! Who are getting fat. 
They still come back here to sleep, have seen one of them in their window before. We get on very well with our neighbours though.


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## katie200 (May 11, 2009)

my fkuffy used to go see a old neighbour on our street after she found him and she would feed him and he had stayed there and some times he would come home with out his colour and the next day i would find it in the letter box so i talked to her when walking the dog and said she can stroke him in her garden but not feed him because it made him ill and not to take his colour off and after that she would stroke him in her garden as he went to see her but stoped feeding him and takeing him in just remind her that cats ant play things and your cats have a home with you and if her kids want a pet get one of there own be nice about it tell her no matter what your cat ant to be feed or takeing in to her house


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## dee o gee (May 21, 2010)

Have never been in this situation so can't offer any advice. All I can say is I don't think its unreasonable to be annoyed about this, Id be furious with them, cats are not toys that can be shared and given back when they get bored.

Years ago I had a neighbour that had cats that I used to bring into the house and feed, but I was very friendly with this neighbour and the only reason I done it was because these cats were just fed and then thrown outside to roam around, used to keep them inside every halloween night and allowed them to sleep in front of the radiator most evenings, neighbour was well aware of it and most likely didn't care as it meant she had to spend less money on feeding them. When they were moving to a new area I offered to 'adopt' them but of course she didn't agree, both cats went missing within months presumed dead.  But of course the kids got new kittens soon after.  They done the same thing with the new lab puppy and wondered why the had to rehome him because he was 'untrainable', they now want a gsd puppy because they are better behaved.


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## lizward (Feb 29, 2008)

I'm afraid my parents do this frequently, at one stage they had four cats who had adopted them, plus what they called "the night shift" who polished off whatever luxuries the "adopted" cats thoguht were beneath them. At one stage the real owners took their cat home since my paretns did have the decency to advertise that they had found him, and he reappeared at my parents' house 30 minutes later. However I have also been on the other end of this and know the distress it can cause when someone takes in a supposedly stray cat which has a perfectly good home and loving owners who are desperately searching for it.

What is really annoying about it is that there are plenty of rescues overflowing with cats looking for wonderful homes. But my father is of a generation that refuses to pay for a cat. He's happy to fork out a £1000 vet bill but he wobn't pay to get the cat. And what is even more annoying to me is that when I have had a cat I need a new home for, my parents have never, not even once, been willing to take on my cat. But I know very well that if my cats lived next door they'd move in there in a matter of hours if they had the chance!

Liz


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## billyboysmammy (Sep 12, 2009)

I think youve had some excellent advice so far, and no i dont think your overreacting.

Its important to remember that there are 2 sides to the story though. If your cat was genuinely lost and some kind person had been feeding her for you... you would be very grateful. On the other hand, someone deliberatly "taking" a cat is another thing entirely.


I would be inclined to invite her for a cup of coffee, and then discuss exactly what the problems are. She needs to be aware of how much harm she could be causing to the cats with bladder and kidney problems, cats on medication, and especially the hip problems considering you have witnesssed her daughter grabbing the cat to prevent it escaping. Explain just how much pain the cats are in due to her food/handling, just how much the vets bills are mounting up and how much you need her help so this doesnt happen again. With any luck she will see sense. 

I would also offer to help her find a cat for herself. She may not wish to go to rescue (althouth offer to go with her), but there are always cats free to good homes in the local papers. Maybe not kittens, but certainly older kittens and adults.

If all that fails, I can only think of 3 feasable soloutions. 

1 - neighbours cat proof their gardens so their own cats cat roam.
2 - her immediate neighbours catproof all the adjoining fencing to her gardens (so cats cant get into her garden) - but that wont protect them from the front door
3 - microchip all cats, and then threaten to call the police for theft (i doubt the police would do much tbh, but the threat might work)

those are last resorts though, i would try talking to her again and again first. xxx


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## hobbs2004 (Mar 12, 2010)

Agree with you and the others - you are certainly not over-reacting!

Only like to throw one more idea into the mix. When you talk to her over tea and a bicci, it may be worthwhile pointing out a few cat shelters in the area where they can get their own cats from - there are so many cats that are currently in rescues that need a good home. 

Maybe she can take one or two or three of these in and leave the neighbourhood ones alone 

Edit: Lol BBMammys has beaten me to my thoughts! Well, as we say at home doppelt haelt besser - things said/done twice stick better or something to that effect lol


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## Montys_Mum (Jun 4, 2010)

Oh god how awful! I'd hate anyone to take my cats in and especially hurt them in such a way (pulling legs).
We are lucky, our neighbours also have cats and sometimes 1 of theirs pops into our conservatory (that's were our cats are fed), but is often chased off by one of our own. And the same happens vice versa.
But to deliberately take in someone else's pet, knowing that they don't want them too, knowing it isn't a stray! I'd be angry and worried.
Contact the police, maybe if one of them was willing to come over and have a word with your neighbour that might help. Alternatively, how about the RSPCA? If you report how your neighbour treats your cats etc they might well be happy to step in. And a visit from an official might just wake your neighbour up.
Good luck.


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## NEW2CATS (Aug 28, 2009)

i would be annoyed too op

if i were you i would have a word over a cuppa and if it looks like you are not getting anywhere say to her if you want to share my cat you have to share the vet bills too - am sure that would put her off!!


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## lillylove (May 4, 2010)

people like this don't want their own cats though - it would mean they would have to fork out vets bills and cattery's when they want to go on holiday! 

We had issues with a girl who lived near us, not quite the same 
A cat was being badly neglected by other neighbours for about 2 years, and the cat chose to basically live with us - and we paid its vets bills. 
When the people moved a few miles away, they already had 2 kids and a puppy by then and took the cat.:
2 years later, we come home to find said cat sitting on our garden wall 
It appears that the cat (purdy) had been hanging around our area for some time, and a nearby neighbour had decided to feed her. Purdy would take the food and have a little cuddle, but then would rip up her flat to get back over our house. The girl took to shutting the cat inside the flat as to not lose her to us, but the cat was very unhappy and would escape. The cat didn't belong to anyone so we didn't have a claim over her, but the number of times the girl came knocking on our door demanding her cat back regardless of where the cat wanted to actually live. We would give it back as she wasn't neglecting it, but it would just come straight back! It took her quite some time to give up on the cat as she wasn't getting anywhere with trying to make her stay in her flat.


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## Argent (Oct 18, 2009)

I'd be furious OP, this is why I want my future cat to live as an indoor cat. I'm actually fuming for you right now >.< I've had to stand by and watch our next door neighbours kids man-handle my rats, I know that feeling.
Definately have another talk with them and make your intentions clear.


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## hobbs2004 (Mar 12, 2010)

lillylove said:


> people like this don't want their own cats though - it would mean they would have to fork out vets bills and cattery's when they want to go on holiday!


I think this is putting a bit strongly - we don't know this particular family, do we?

Why are people so radical in their views (calling in the police, the rspca). Yes, what she is doing is not great and should be discouraged but what is wrong with just having a chat with her first and politely clarifying things?


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## billyboysmammy (Sep 12, 2009)

hobbs2004 said:


> I think this is putting a bit strongly - we don't know this particular family, do we?
> 
> Why are people so radical in their views (calling in the police, the rspca). Yes, what she is doing is not great and should be discouraged but what is wrong with just having a chat with her first and politely clarifying things?


I have to say my suggestion was put forward as a last resort! I thought i made that clear on my post.

Its not time for all out war yet, now is the time for the nice approach and to keep going until they see sense.

However, if you have played every nice card under the sun, blocked cats entrance to her garden and she is still going against your wishes, then the threat is there to be used... but only when every other avenue has been explored and exhausted!


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## Ally-Kats (Jan 8, 2009)

I have been on the receiving end of unwanted attention from a neighbours kitten.Her cat used to come in through the cat flap which I then locked.However if the house door was opened he would literally fly in from wherever he had been hiding,Scamp would grumble at him but he took no notice.He used to eat Scamps food, lie in his basket and generally make a nuisance of himself.We tried everything to discourage him but he took no notice.Our neighbour was out all day and the cat had no access to the house so when it was cold we used to find him curled up in our porch.He was well fed and looked after by his owner but he just liked our house too. Eventually she gave the cat to a friend of hers and that solved our problemAlthough we do miss the little rascal. But I would never take someone elses cat in or feed it as this would encourage it. My neighbour was fine with the knowledge that he sneaked in to our house,I lost count of the times I had to put him outside only to find he had run around to the other side of the house and got in if the door or window was open.Hope your neighbour listens to you and leaves the cat outside and stops feeding it.Goodluck


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

Theres a similar situation ongoing in my street at the moment (well actually my street is where the cats owner lives, and the street around the corner is where the woman who feeds this cat lives). Initially I was in support of the cats owners, the woman around the corner shouldnt feed their cat when theyve politely asked her not to, shouldnt let her inside her home when theyve politely asked her not to, and so on. However after speaking to the woman around the corner.. its not as clear cut as I first thought. We had a terribly harsh winter and this cat was outside every night. This is when she started feeding and letting the cat inside. At that time she had no idea if the cat even had an owner. Now the rules have changed (so to speak) but the cat doesnt really know or understand the new rules and will howl for an hour long on the outside windowsill of her kitchen, or sit howling at her front door. If she opens a door or a window the cat is inside like a shot. Im not saying it would be impossible for her to refuse entry to this cat, but I can see her side of the story. Its not always that clear cut. The cat obviously enjoys its lodging with the neighbour woman. 

I really think the only way to stop this is to cat-proof your own garden so your cat cant get out. 

I think as cat owners we cant have it both ways. When they poo or pee in our neighbours gardens we expect our neighbours to understand that cats are free spirits and we cant train them where to poo or pee when theyre outdoors. Well isnt it similar with feeding an outdoor cat? If the cat is happy to go back to someones home, and is happy to bed fed and watered and temporarily boarded there??? Isnt this also because cats are free spirits??? 

Of course I would hate my cats going into someone elses home, or being fed without my knowledge, but thats just one of the many reasons I have a cat run and a cat-proofed garden. 

Sometimes, to be able to have things our own way, the initiative has to begin with ourselves.


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## 3muskateers (Jun 6, 2010)

THANK YOU for these informative and compassionate replies! You've shared great ideas and suggestions. I will make a few of the suggested contacts and feedback to this thread. 

(ps -- If you can believe it, this neighbour of ours is in the adjoining house in our semi-detached. They know all of our cats by name and also know all of our neighbours' cats by name. There isn't a question of any of the cats being strays. Such curious neighbourly behaviour. hmmmm)


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## billyboysmammy (Sep 12, 2009)

3muskateers said:


> THANK YOU for these informative and compassionate replies! You've shared great ideas and suggestions. I will make a few of the suggested contacts and feedback to this thread.
> 
> (ps -- If you can believe it, this neighbour of ours is in the adjoining house in our semi-detached. They know all of our cats by name and also know all of our neighbours' cats by name. There isn't a question of any of the cats being strays. Such curious neighbourly behaviour. hmmmm)


Perhaps she thinks she is being neighbourly and helpful!

There is a little old lady in our area who feeds everything and anything. She always has a pocket of dog treats for any dogs she meets out on walks, never asks just gives. She puts out cat food by her doorstep every evening too. She thinks she is being nice, but as she doesnt ask it puts alot at risk.

I know people have tried talking to her about it before, but being a senile old bat of about 90 she doesnt take a blind bit of notice. Those concerned could take things further, but threatening her really would get them nowhere. What she does do now though is give the dogs the treats she knows they can have, she must spend a fortune on all the different types. However the situation with the tin of cat food is still the same 

It could be worse though... imagine your neighbour hated cats and put out poison... it can and does happen.


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## Leah84 (Jun 22, 2009)

i don`t think you`re over reacting at all, i`d be furious if anyone took my cat in and probably wouldn`t have the patience to sit down for a chat with them. if the chat doesn`t work then maybe try ringing your local council and report her as a nuisance neighbour??

my boy is an indoor cat purely cause i live next door to a woman who i`m positive just takes in every cat she finds and keeps them. we always have new ones appearing in our garden and i can smell her from a distance :scared:


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## cleancage (Jan 23, 2010)

I absolutely adore cats, and I was a cat foster mum for a rescue, 10 or so years ago, and not in the area that I am now living. But I will not have a cat in the house and I will not adopt a cat.

Because in the 1990's (where I was living at the time) I had exactly the same problem as you are talking about.

I was living in a row of cottages that were along a walking path that led up to the hills. The pathway went directly in front of the doors and windows of the cottages and the garden was on the other side of the path.

At the time I had two tortoise shell cats of my own, and the foster cats. One of my tortoise shell cats was very friendly, and a neighbour in a cottage a few doors down started inviting her in.

I wasn't sure that that was what was happening until I was walking home one day and saw her putting my cat out. I challenged her, and her reply was that the cat was keeping her company. She was in fact feeding my cat and claiming it as her own. I was not the happiest person in the world, as you can imagine.

The offending person was about 18 - 19 years of age, it was her first home and she was just starting out in life. So when I saw her mum in the village I politely explained what had been happening and how I felt. The mum turned around and told me that it did not matter, as her daughter had been going through a bad time and the cat was good for her and my behaviour was just causing her daughter more problems, and that I should think of other people's feelings.

What about my feelings??????????????? and what about my cats feelings??????????????

I never did really resolve the problem, so I stopped cat fostering, and since the two tortoise shell twins left us, as all our animals eventually do. I have never had another cat, even though I love cats, and my greyhound is cat (dog, child, human, ferret, and anything else) friendly.


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## dharma66 (Oct 25, 2009)

I'd just loike to add my voice to the chorus of 'nope, not overreacting'.

I think a quiet chat is fair. Especially a she has said she doesn't want to fall out over cat issues.

I have, out of interest, been on the other end of this. A close neighbour of ours got a long haired moggy for his teenage daughter about 8 years ago. Two years later, she left to go to university, and has never come back home (except for the odd visit).

The cat is, frankly, usually in a bit of a state. Because it's so fluffy, its difficult to tell that it is in fact very, very underweight (ribs easily discernible, hip bones protruding, vanishingly thin waist). Also, it regularly has fur that is very badly felted in huge patches that are very, very tender to the touch. Once every year or so, its owner takes it to be shaved. It is always left out overnight, and is often seen howling at the several doors where it occasionally gets let in for some warmth. It was, in act, left out overnight even when we had 14 inches of snow this year!

We took pity on this cat a few years ago, and started letting it in. Once it got to trust us (which took a lot of effort - it was very skittish indeed), it would just find a warm spot, sleep for anything up to six hours straight, grab a bit of food and then leave.

Unfortunately, it started spraying. We started to make efforts to discourage it, but one day it's owner spotted it running into our house, and was very displeased, so we stopped letting it in.

It's now virtually feral, but it will still come to me, and even four years after we last let it in, it sits howling at our back door once every few months, apparently out of desperation.

So, whilst the OP's situation seems different, it's worth remembering that not all neighbourhood adoptions are entirely naughty.


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## dharma66 (Oct 25, 2009)

On another tack...

Whilst I stand by my 'not all adoptions are naughty' statement, it's obvious that random adoptions of perfectly healthy cats, with good homes, is a very real problem.

I'm fortunate to have never been on that end of things, and I have to say, I would be very upset if I were. It's clearly been a very upsetting experience for many people here.

I believe the police are very reluctant to get involved in such matters, but I wonder if we should just accept their reluctance? And I wonder if there are mechanisms in law that might apply here that have perhaps not been tried?

I know we don't like to think of our cats as 'property', but, from a legal perspective, I'm fairly sure they technically count as 'livestock'. Do we have any (UK) lawyers on these forums? Is there a legal angle we could take, in the more extremely persistent cases? Perhaps there's a way of using ASBO's?

At the end of the day, if the people who take cats in like this lived several miles away from the original owner, it would be considered theft. Why should they get away with this same theft just because they only live up the road?


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## billyboysmammy (Sep 12, 2009)

dharma66 said:


> On another tack...
> 
> Whilst I stand by my 'not all adoptions are naughty' statement, it's obvious that random adoptions of perfectly healthy cats, with god homes, is a very real problem.
> 
> ...


law on cats tends to be fairly complicated, but they are not classed as livestock.

If we were talking about a puppy, they are covered by all the same consumer laws as when we buy a washing machine or toaster! If someone stole your washing machine you could call the police.

Cats on the other hand arent really fully grouped as either "purchases" or "wild animals" its sort of a combination of the two.

Cats are allowed to roam freely, and it is an offence to trap, harm or kill them. However contrary to popular belief if a cat damages someone property there are certain laws which can be used against the owner. If a cat continually fouls someone propertyy there are laws to be used to address it.

Under the current laws, a cat is considered property however its owner is not protected in the same way as other consumers for other products (e.g. hoover, washing machine, dog).

Sadly the police tend to be very dismissive of cat theft reports, however if you can prove the cat is yours (microchip, photos etc), and you know where it is, then you might have more luck (as in the case of a neighbour taking the cat).

sal x


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## Montys_Mum (Jun 4, 2010)

hobbs2004 said:


> I think this is putting a bit strongly - we don't know this particular family, do we?
> 
> Why are people so radical in their views (calling in the police, the rspca). Yes, what she is doing is not great and should be discouraged but what is wrong with just having a chat with her first and politely clarifying things?


I got the feeling a quiet chat had been tried?

Hence I suggested if police won't pay a visit for a chat, how about RSPCA?


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## Miss.PuddyCat (Jul 13, 2009)

I dont have outdoor cats so havent been in the spot the op is But I have taken in cats.

Horris used to live in a cardboard box on next doors step with a bowl of food. One winter night my mom brought him inside as he was fallowing her around her car. We put up ads for Horris to see if he was owned but no one replied. So we kept him.

Same thing went for Soda found her as a small 5 week old kitten on the side of a busy highway. Put up ads no one claimed her.

The only one we didnt put up ads is for Decker because the only way decker could have gotten on our deck was if she was tossed over the large fence. The people in the building beside us had just moved out.

A few people around here put food out because there seems to be alot of strays/dumped cats they stick aroudn for awhile until the animal services comes to get them.


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## lillylove (May 4, 2010)

hobbs2004 said:


> I think this is putting a bit strongly - we don't know this particular family, do we?
> 
> Why are people so radical in their views (calling in the police, the rspca). Yes, what she is doing is not great and should be discouraged but what is wrong with just having a chat with her first and politely clarifying things?


no we do not, but people have already approached her to ask her not to take them in.

Basically it is getting the best of an animal without being completely responsible for them. That is why people enjoy doing it.

Taking in or caring for a neglected animal is completely different and I completely understand why, (and have fed an obvious neglected animal), but its obvious here that the 3 cats are not being neglected in any way, so it is concluded that there is no other reason to befriend people's animals apart from the fact that you want a pet to cuddle and nurture, but not one of your own to be responsible for it. Otherwise you would go and get your own wouldn't you? This is why you need to approach her - I think police is OTT at this stage, but speaking to her in a calm and nice way, and suggesting her getting her own pet is the best idea.

Because cats basically choose where to stay or go, its very common that they go to other peoples houses to get fed, and why its difficult for the police to remove cats - because they choose. Obviously the cats are not unhappy with either situation right now - they are getting their cake and eating it. But she is putting their health at risk by not even feeding them the appropriate food and needs to be made aware of this.


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## lillylove (May 4, 2010)

Also from the first post a few other things become clear that I would be really annoyed about:

At 11pm at night, your pet is shut inside someone elses house with a child
When you called it, they tried to remove it from your sight?
Instead of letting it out when you were calling it, you had to call at their house? 

This doesn't suggest to me its a kind lady feeding a cat for a quick cuddle, its someone taking advantage of someone elses pet when it doesn't belong to them, and actively encouraging it to stay in their house 

I would be tempted to ask her the following:
If your pet has an accident within her home, is she willing to pay for its vets fees? Or will she bring it straight back to you?
I bet you if she caught your cat weeing in her house she would be quick to stop it coming back. 

I feel for the cat, because obviously its an affectionate animal and enjoys the attention but that doesn't mean it wants to be inside their house late at night. It doesn't have much choice with a closed door does it?

Its extremely unfair to cause owners to panic and worry because their pet has not come home all night long - only to find its because someone fancied it sleeping on their bed at night!


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

lillylove said:


> that doesn't mean it wants to be inside their house late at night. It doesn't have much choice with a closed door does it?


I fostered enough cats (all legally and above board, lol) to know that if a cat doesn't want to stay in your house at night, you'll be in no two doubts about that fact. They *do* let you know! No one would put up with all that scratching and meowing and lack of sleep, not to mention the actual damage they can and will inflict on your home in their attempts to get out.

These things are seldom as black and white as they seem on the surface. Not to say the OP is lying, of course not, but no doubt if the neighbour was to post it would give us another angle to the story.

Either way, I sincerely doubt this particular cat is being "held against its will". If it was, it would only ever happen once, it would never go back for a second lock-down against its will.


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

One of my cats has medical issues that require a specific diet. I have an elderly neighbour that likes to 'share' other people's cats, rather like OP above.
First I explained the situation to her nicely, then I explained again that the food she was feeding the cat was making him ill and showed her the vet bills. She ignored me and carried on. Next I chatted to my vet about the issue and he suggested speaking to the RSPCA. They were very helpful and told me that as the neighbour had been made aware that to carry on feeding the cat was making it ill, it would actually count as animal cruelty. They visited the lady and explained this in no uncertain terms.
Comimg from a figure of authority the information seemed to sink in.


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## lillylove (May 4, 2010)

Tje said:


> I fostered enough cats (all legally and above board, lol) to know that if a cat doesn't want to stay in your house at night, you'll be in no two doubts about that fact. They *do* let you know! No one would put up with all that scratching and meowing and lack of sleep, not to mention the actual damage they can and will inflict on your home in their attempts to get out.
> 
> These things are seldom as black and white as they seem on the surface. Not to say the OP is lying, of course not, but no doubt if the neighbour was to post it would give us another angle to the story.
> 
> Either way, I sincerely doubt this particular cat is being "held against its will". If it was, it would only ever happen once, it would never go back for a second lock-down against its will.


I definately agree with you, I am sure the cat is 'getting its cake and eating it' I mean its fed by 2 people and cuddled, I am more of the angle that it causes worry for the owner really. I have stood outside for long periods of time worrying about cats and calling them in at night. Its natural to start to worry that something bad may have happened to the pet you love. Its unfair to shut it inside your house when it isn't yours to own. Pet it in your garden by all means, or let it wander indoors if it doesn't bother you, but I doubt she has a cat flap so it can come and go as it pleases


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## 3muskateers (Jun 6, 2010)

Hello, 

Thanks so much to everyone who has replied. Your responses have been so helpful. 

My neighbour and I have finally had a chance to chat. I must admit, our conversation was not exactly what I had planned nor was it what I would call silky smooth, however, the outcome was very good and I feel much more at peace with things. I also feel like I have learned a few lessons about neighbourly ettiquette. So, for what it is worth, I'll share so that perhaps others can learn from me (and from a few of my mistakes).

As it turns out, my neighbour genuinely said she never meant to do any harm and was surprised when I mentioned my shock and concern about our cats' well-being, particularly the one-eyed one. I think she didn't realise how burdened I have felt over these last several weeks about this matter. 

In our conversation, we discussed my concerns about our cats, particularly the one-eyed cat with the bad hips. She was surprised and apologetic. She had innocently thought that he was having trouble jumping and falling off of things because of his one eye (this had me gasp again,:scared: but I couldn't get angry because I realised she really didn't know how unstable he was). In addition to me sharing my concerns, my neighbour also shared her concerns with me, primarily that she wanted to be clear that she wasn't trying to take our cats at all and that she felt that I may have thought she was planning to. She also pointed out that in hindsight, it might be best to alert new neighbours immediately of my cat's condition (I see where she is coming from and I feel slightly guilty about this. But to be fair, our one-eyed cat has never been one to approach anyone else but us).

Without going into all the details, we talked for some time and shared our individual perspectives with each other. We both agreed that we didn't want to fall out as neighbours. And, also agreed that we may have been making some assumptions that were inaccurate - on both sides. And, practically speaking, we agreed that we would try to put up a little fence to block the gaps in the hedge to help the kitties stay "in vision" (this was the neighbour's suggestion). We also talked about food and the importance of not feeding the cats. 

All in all it was a very healthy discussion...and to be honest, I feel a bit silly for letting my emotions get the best of me (I am usually such a rational person). I am hoping that my neighbour was sincere in her comments and that we will respect each other, our cats and our adjoining gardens. 

Thanks again for all your support. 

Watch this space...


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## roontona (Sep 1, 2010)

Hi 

I have a question related to this, recently a small cat not much past a kitten came into our garden while I was putting the washing out and I stroked it. Now it seems to think it lives at my house and keeps appearing at the patio door wanting to be let in. We have not let it in or fed it at all, I have tried shoeing it away as nicely as possble but it just keeps coming back.

Is there a way of discouraging this?

Also it has no name or address on the collar so don't know which of my neighbours own it!

Also it does disappear now and again so I assume it is going home for food and it does not appear hungry.

Thanks


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## billyboysmammy (Sep 12, 2009)

there is a paper collar you can print off on the rspca website.

Fill that in with your details and ask the owner to contact you, at least then you will know where it lives so you can return it should it decide to move in 

as for discouraging, a water pistol usually works well, but just make sure you know who the cat belongs to first.

x


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## genuine (Mar 23, 2012)

hi all,
i was furious when my cat gradually was groomed by a neighbour,
a very unfriendly cat towards humans but loved to be around foxes and other cats.
all my hard work getting the confidence of the cat (cats protection) and insurance and special cat food for teeth from vets only year old.
then neighbour gradually intices in etc, at first i was vengeful, but then confronted lady with all her lies- but amazingly on a positive he had made human contact, as of now hasn't done anything wrong but now informed she should comply- lawfully warned so after chatting to lady explained not feed to feed cat or let it in her home- as i was after compensation for vet bills and my stress (£1000 should do, we will see what her response is-i said throw water over him, he must not like you.
but there is side of me that says she just lonely and she hasn't mistreated cat. trouble is obviously
he is not eating my vet food at all
he does not recognise me as owner
loosing sense of home
so kept him in but he is meowing every minute
hopefully the several other cats will take his territory over there
while i give him love and affection
someone said put butter on feet that usually has a homeful effect may give a go.
any other help or thoughts welcome 
from genuine


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