# when does the pain stop



## Vickie1 (Dec 30, 2011)

Our lovely cat Biggles was PTS a couple of days ago and i find myself increasingly weepy. Last night both me and my partner cried like babies when we got home from work. Even though i know it was the right thing to do he was so peacuful and sleeping before we took him to the vet.

I can't get his little face out of my mind, his pleading and frightened eyes at the vets. I feel totally devastated by his passing. Our house just feels empty without his presence. Please someone offer me a ray of hope.x


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## Ang2 (Jun 15, 2012)

Oh my heart breaks for you. Please take a little solace in knowing that some owners have waited too long and seen their beloved pets suffer a terrible agonising death - thrashing about, afraid, and totally distressed. 

Its the last gift we can give them - a peaceful, painless and dignified end. Hugs to you x


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## Cromford (Nov 12, 2012)

Vickie,

We know exactly how you feel. Scrabble used to love going to the vets, but on that last visit he wet himself as he lay in the waiting room. Was he afraid? Did he know? Was it simply that his legs had gone and he had struggled to get out of the house to go to the loo? Those questions still haunt me.

Sadly the reality is that having our best friends PTS is a no-win choice. The timing is always wrong because we don't have 20:20 hindsight nor do we have crystal balls. We make the decision at the time because we love them and don't want to see them suffer.

For us the worst of the pain and the daily tears lasted a couple of weeks. It still hurts now 5 weeks later and the smallest reminder has me welling up. Life just isn't the same without them. 

I have found that as the days go by, there are moments when a smile fills the void. A happier memory invades your thoughts. I'm told the pain never really goes away, but that it becomes easier to deal with as we realise how lucky we were and how empty our life's would have been without them.

Did we time things right for Scrabble? We hope so but we harbour annoying doubts. Did we do what we did because we loved him? Absolutely. That is as certain for us as I'm sure it is for you and Biggles.

I hope your pain eases soon.


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## Space Chick (Dec 10, 2011)

The pain does get easier with time. My heart breaks for you, as I remember how raw these emotions feel.

I still have ocassional tears over a year after losing my beloved terrier when something reminds me of him. However, the happy memories and smiles return more when I think of him.

Ultimately, Biggles was an important member of your family and you will naturally grieve his passing, even though you did the most loving thing but making sure he didn't suffer.

I send you and your husband love x


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## jonb (Nov 15, 2012)

it does get easier,try and think of the good memories thats what we do.
Sophie passed a month today,trip to the beach was very quiet without her


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## welshjet (Mar 31, 2011)

Oh vickie xxx

I think your post is one that we all ask ourselves 

I lost suki a fair few years ago now and i still cry sometimes. But my memories also make me smile and think of the mischef that she used to get up too.

Nobody can say when, but you will heal and you will realise one day that despite that hurt and sadnesd, your memories will be treasured xxx


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## Knightofalbion (Jul 3, 2012)

Vickie1 said:


> Our lovely cat Biggles was PTS a couple of days ago and i find myself increasingly weepy. Last night both me and my partner cried like babies when we got home from work. Even though i know it was the right thing to do he was so peacuful and sleeping before we took him to the vet.
> 
> I can't get his little face out of my mind, his pleading and frightened eyes at the vets. I feel totally devastated by his passing. Our house just feels empty without his presence. Please someone offer me a ray of hope.x


The more you love someone, the more it hurts when they go away.

When does the pain stop? I don't think you ever stop thinking about and missing those who have passed over, but the pain subsides when one comes to realise and accept that death is not the end and you will see them again.

When your 'time' comes all those you have loved and who have loved you (who have passed over) will be there to greet you.

Animals have souls just as we do. So in the afterlife reunion, both people AND pets will be there.
There are some accounts of NDEs involving pets in my 'NDE: Dogs in the afterlife' thread further down the section.

Dogs, cats, horses, whatever, if there was LOVE the love bond will bring you back together.

You gave him a happy, loving home, cared for and protected him for all those years. And when the time came and he was suffering, it was the greater act of love to set him free.
You did right by him in life and death.

Animals are on their own evolitionary path. Your tender love has helped him more than you can ever know.


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## MrsLen (Sep 3, 2012)

Vickie1 said:


> Our lovely cat Biggles was PTS a couple of days ago and i find myself increasingly weepy. Last night both me and my partner cried like babies when we got home from work. Even though i know it was the right thing to do he was so peacuful and sleeping before we took him to the vet.
> 
> I can't get his little face out of my mind, his pleading and frightened eyes at the vets. I feel totally devastated by his passing. Our house just feels empty without his presence. Please someone offer me a ray of hope.x


My heart goes out to you, really it does. The pain never really stops but the grief gets easier to deal with as time goes by. It has been almost 4 months since we had our Molly PTS and I am still crying almost on a daily basis. It's very early days for you yet. You need to let yourself grieve properly and try not to rush it. Like you, I replayed the scene over and over in my head for weeks afterwards but this will stop. Don't get me wrong, if I think about what happened with our Molly at the vets, it brings me to tears every time but it's not on my mind 24/7 like it was at first.

Grieve as long and as much as you need to but know that you did right by your beautiful Biggles. I'm sending you lots of love and strength to get through the coming days and I hope you will find comfort in this forum, just as I do, because we truly do all know you feel right now.

Take care x


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## Vickie1 (Dec 30, 2011)

All your words are of great comfort. We know that it was the correct decision. Even the vet said it was it better to put biggles to sleep whilst he could still walk and wasn't in great pain or distress. I suppose we could have given him a few days longer but his quality of life would have been so poor we;d have regretted not doing it sooner.

The vet and nurse were fantastic. They were so patient and gentle with Biggles and us really. It's all just such a shock. He'd been doing so well over the last year since his heart problem started and even the cardiac vet said his heart was now stable and fine. Then he developed cancer...we never saw it coming, just side swiped us totally.

He was such a loving and trusting boy. Always wanting to be with us, always sitting with us and asking us to stroke him (which we did enthusiastically). He made going home at the end of the day something to look forward to as he always greeted us and was always very vocal and happy. we feel he was robbed of life. But at least he made it to 14..trouble is we wanted him to live forever. He always will though in our hearts and thoughts and we know that one day we'll meet again at the rainbow bridge with all our loved ones. God bless everybody on here you are truly wonderful, caring people with hearts of pure gold. x


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## Cromford (Nov 12, 2012)

Vickie, 

Your last post had me 'peeling onions' again. It struck so many chords. Scrabble would spend his days keeping me company in my office. if I went out even for minutes, I was assured of a "Wheaten Greeting" when I came back inside. Whirling 360's make you feel so special.....I miss those most.

From a personal perspective, though your words of thanks are greatly appreciated, they really are not necessary. The thing is it is therapeutic (for me) to know that my feelings of guilt, desolation and pain are not unique. It's a way of sharing our grief and when you have lost a special member of the family that's an important gift granted by others, in this case by you and Biggles.


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## Vickie1 (Dec 30, 2011)

I've done something useful today. I've volunteered to help out at my local dog shelter! I'm sure biggles will be approving of this..in fact i can hear him miowing and purring with satisfaction laid on his back in the sun at rainbow bridge!

I feel a bit better today. Our other cats are keeping us busy as they always do.

We will get biggles ashes back next week and we'#re getting a beautiful sleeping cat casket for him....that will be a sad day no doubt.

Plus i get redundancy in april (a lot of money!) and we're going to book a long overdue holiday somewhere warm


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## MrsLen (Sep 3, 2012)

Vickie1 said:


> I've done something useful today. I've volunteered to help out at my local dog shelter! I'm sure biggles will be approving of this..in fact i can hear him miowing and purring with satisfaction laid on his back in the sun at rainbow bridge!
> 
> I feel a bit better today. Our other cats are keeping us busy as they always do.
> 
> ...


Good for you! It's wonderful that you have volunteered - I'm sure Biggles is very proud of you.


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## Cromford (Nov 12, 2012)

Wow Vickie...that's fantastic and very brave of you too...I hope it helps your recovery and expect it will.

Dogs are VERY perceptive and even though they will recognise you as a 'cat person' they will see that you have a good heart in spite of that.  You'll be welcomed as they set about the slow conversion process.....

I'm sure Biggles would approve. When do you start? I want to watch this .....


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## Vickie1 (Dec 30, 2011)

Well i am a dog person as well. I had a lovely dog 20 years ago who was also PTS at 14yrs old. I seem to have an affinity with anything with 4 legs and fur!

Just 3 months ago on holiday i was stood outside our caravan at 11pm looking at the stars when i noticed a badger just 6ft away looking at me! i'd seen him run past earlier and he came back to check me out! (it was beautiful). I love dogs as well.

We've decide to get a kitten in a few months time as chloe our younger cat would appreciate some company.

I start my voluntary work in january...and i can't wait.


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## rose (Apr 29, 2009)

Sorry about Biggles  The pain will ease, I remember how so much crying makes your head hurt. So pleased you have found something to help get you through, such a brave thing to do. Take care, and RIP Biggles - at peace xx


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## Cromford (Nov 12, 2012)

I hope it all works out for you Vickie....even if I harbour niggling doubts about a serial cat owner claiming to be a dog lover....

From a Scot I wish you a very very Happy New Year. I know the shelter dogs just got lucky...and that makes me happy .


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## monkeymummy32 (May 22, 2012)

So sorry to read about your loss of Biggles.
I can relate clearly to how you currently feel as we had one of our cats pts in April due to a brain tumour. Didn't see it coming at all - within 2 weeks of the onset of symptoms, he was gone. For 2 solid weeks my eyes were permanently red and swollen. I cried so much. I remember my husband coming home from work and us both just holding each other and crying before even saying hello. As the weeks pass by, you'll find that you'll cry less and less and you'll be able to remember all the good times you've surely shared. I found that once we had the casket home, I felt more at ease with everything as he was back home where he belongs. Sending you healing vibes xx


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