# need some help and friendly advice :)



## AlexTurley (Oct 30, 2011)

basically iv been riding since i was a child i am now 21. i gave it up a lot thro secondary school and came back to it wen i was 18 but since coming back iv had a bit of hard time and now im really frustrated and my confidence is shattered.

basically the one riding school i was at for a year i ended up aving one horse who would always spook every lesson but i was doing ok with controlling it altho it did knock my confidence a bit. but then i was put on a larger horse that was younger and had a accident were my knee was squished between a tree and i ended up on crutches for six months before i finally got surgery. and this left my confidence shattered. 

i did after this tho go on a long ride wen i was back with old friends in wales and was perfectly fine and out for four hours was a lovely day. 

but since then i was just working in a few yards not really riding.

n then had another accident with a horse in stable - she just basically spooked from the horse next door and i had turned my back to walk out n her she ended up doing a very small rear but caught my back.

now iv recently been at derwen stud and i couldnt even walk into the stable to put a feed bucket in the corner.

all of this has now left me completly annoyed , disapointed really. i am stil nervous and i realise it will take time but i dont no were to start with improvin any of this - horses n riding used to be a huge love of mine but now i can barely stand near one and its quite upsetting. - can anyone suggest were i need to start and wot i can do. will it just be a case of going to a new riding stables and explaining all this to them and going from scratch again? i really want to sort all this out. 

Thank You in advance  im normally in the cat section haha


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## emmaluvsmango (Jul 10, 2008)

do you think it may help to part loan a very steady horse, you could really create a bond with? I always feel very nervous on other peoples horses and riding school horses, but i became very relaxed when I part loaned, and now I own my boy im so chilled out with him. Ive recently had an accident where bob slipped and fell over, im unable to ride although im getting better slowly may also need an op on my knee, but if id done this on any other horse i wouldnt want to get back on. instead i cant wait to get back on, me n bob are a team, we both had a bad day that day, but we will realise our dreams and explore the hills together  don't give up on what u love! x


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## AlexTurley (Oct 30, 2011)

to be honest i hadnt thort of part loaning think more because iv been doubting my riding abilitly than anything. - the horse i had a accident were on cructches for ages i was having trouble riding all lesson - he was very young and not listening to a thing i was telling him but then the people who av ridden there for years also say they have problems with him some even he lays down while there riding him n trys to roll :/


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## Baileys Blind (Jan 23, 2012)

As emmaluvsmango says I'd be tempted to look for a part loan or a horse that is rock steady and bond with that one horse.

If you look on Pre loved there's loads advertising wanting people to part loan their horses out :thumbup:


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## AlexTurley (Oct 30, 2011)

right thank you  i just didnt no were to start as so frustrating and dont want to give it up.

a lot the threads id seen people were advised against so i didnt no wot people thort about my circumstances  ill av a look and see if there are any in my area x


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## Leam1307 (Feb 12, 2010)

Hi there, i know this was posted a few weeks ago and wondered how you had got on. Personally if your really nervous about just going in the stable i wouldnt loan just now. Do you have any friends who have steady horses that you could go visit, get used to them on the ground for a few weeks, just getting your confidence up brushing etc. before moving onto something like loaning. Its abig step if your nervous, i.e you would need to go try the horse to make sure it is suitable for when you do ride so you would have to be able to walk straight in, brush tack up, ride etc before you agreed to take it.

Unfortunately some things you never get over, i had a horse about 10years ago that pinned me in the stable and would try to kick/squish you when ever she could. I stopped riding for 8 years. Got another horse and now my new boy ive had 4 weeks.. still really nervous going around his back end or even doing up leg straps on rugs etc.

I think start off small, maybe make a list of this you would like to achieve e.g. be able to walk into the stable with feed bucket.. and stick at that with the same horse until you feel comfrtable. then move onto the next item on the list.. maybe brushing all over or even start with just the front half. What you have to remember is horses have a brain of their own and are sensitive to people (they have to be since they dont speak english) and therefore if your nervous they will get nervous as they dont understand what you are worried about. It just all takes time.

Sorry for the long post and i would like to hear updates if you dont mind? Theres not alot of horsey talk on this forum much. like you im usually in the cat section.


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## emmaluvsmango (Jul 10, 2008)

Any updates of how your getting on with this? Ive got my knee op this thursday, really anxious about it, but im so excited that in a couple of months i'll be back riding again. 

Ive be part loaning my boy out to a lovely lady while im poorly, who is also going to carry on with him once im better too  She had only ridden at riding schools so lacked experience and confidence, so ive been there everytime shes down to guide her and help. Shes doing fab now, I hope your able to do something like this. 

emma x


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## RachJeremy (Sep 14, 2012)

Have you tried popping up to a local riding school and asking if you can 'help out' with the yard duties during a morning or afternoon, that way you can just be around the horses to start off with. Be honest about what you're like with horses and state you're doing it because of them reasons. Usually as long as it's free help, they don't mind lending a hand. And then maybe you could start maybe grooming horses or ponies ready for lessons, providing their safe and calm. And then seeing where it goes from there 
Riding schools can do this, as where i work at the moment, we have 3-4 helpers when i work on a Sunday. One of which is my boyfriend, who when he started helping had practically no experience with horses at all. Now he's not bad with them and getting quite confident even around difficult horses. 

Hope this helps


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## princesscorbs (Oct 30, 2012)

i agree with Leam, small goals and work up to he big ones like riding and being confident again,

small achievable goals, then you can think of he bigger picture, and look back and see how much you have a chieved, i bet in a few months youll wonder what all the fuss was about, 

try and stay calm, i dont have to tell you that horses have good senses you know that, so not going to patronise, 

i also think visiting a horse or a friends horse is better than loaning at the minute, as your not so cinfident that can rub off onto the loan horse and youll be back to square one, i really wish you all the best, 

take some deep breaths and try not to think of what has happened, try and think if having the happiness you had back with your horse/horses, try and be positive 9 i cant imagine how hard it must be)

try and get your friend to go in the stable with you or just stand outside so your not alone and then the fear may not be so bad, then eventually just do it on your own, i bet youll do it without thinking 

Stay calm relaxed and positive and little by little youll be beack to doing what you loved


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## sillygilly (Oct 6, 2009)

I would find out if you have a branch of Riding for the Disabled in your area. I you could volunteer and as the horse have to be steady and dependable, Im sure you would be able to lead one and gradually build up your confidence. The looks on the childrens faces is such a joy you would probably forget your own fears .


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## Ponies78 (Aug 24, 2013)

Ditto RDA volunteering. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's meant to be fun! Small steps, watching a lesson, a low level group lesson, not so much focus on you and may not push your riding abilities so build up your confidence.

So many ways to help you. You have to trial and error what will work for you.


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