# URGENT Resident Cat sleeping outside 4 weeks after kitten arrived!



## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

URGENT HELP NEEDED

A little update.
So here are our cats
Lulu our resident gorgeous but now I realise a little timid 5 year old cat

Oslo a bundle of live and fun 16 week male who we have had for 6 weeks & bought from local person. He is socialised well but I think may be part Bengal given his energy levels, jumping & climbing skills , chirruping & love of water! Never known such a high energy kitty before!

So I think we did everything by the book.
Separate rooms & swapping scents
Feliway diffuser in all rooms
Making a fuss of both cats equally.
Giving Lulu high places to retreat etc…
But when after a week we tried introductions Lulu would just bolt out of her car flap & only very occasionally did she come in. She was however coming in at night. 

She is presently refusing to come into the house. Even at night when her cat flap is open, her food is down, she can come to my room (her favourite place to chill & so far Oslo free) & Oslo is secure in the front room (having had free run of house during my day whilst Lulu us chose by to be out (except my bedroom ). 

It may be my fault as I tried to hurry things along the other week as I had a planned surgery & needed msg free no room fir a friend to sleep in so she could look after me. With this pressure I stupidly decided to put Mr Oslo in the large puppy crate we had first used but to position this in the dining room/kitchen. 

At bedtime Mr Oslo went into the crate in situ in kitchen diner, with everything he needed to be comfortable. I put a large blanket over the top & side de & his pyramid bed & a box to retreat into. He cried for a little while. Eventually Lulu came in through the cat flap, ate some of her food & then proceeded to yowal & pace around house, waking everyone up. We tried again for 2 more nights but it was the same, she was so unhappy & wouldn’t even settle in my room (normally her favourite place to chill out). She’s now totally reluctant to come in at all, sleeping in garden & fear doesn’t now trust me. It’s truly breaking my heart seeing her like this. I had her at vets 2 weeks ago to ensure no underlying medical problem making her feel worse, they gave the all clear but I am not convinced as she had a watery eye & was sneezing. 

I have had to go back to Mr Oslo in the front room at night. 

I have since given Lulu some magnesium supplements (to calm her stress levels) & L-lysine to boost her immune system. Her eye is clear. 

Meanwhile Lulu is very reluctant to come in , even in the heat we have had.
I feed her at door & have made a cosy spot fir her in the shed. But it’s breaking my heart.
I hadn’t realised Me Oslo was going to be equally hyper as loving & wondering if they will ever get along.
He really wants a playmate I think, but Lulu is clearly saying she doesn’t want this now, just Hoping it’s not never as will have to seriously consider rehoming Mr Oslo !
Any more advice would be most welcome please as I am also rather ill & weak & this additional stress is exhausting.


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## Treaclesmum (Sep 26, 2011)

Hi Adena,
I do feel for you as I've been through some similar times recently myself.
Last year I sadly lost my British Blue, Gracie to a sudden illness. Seeing my other cats looking sad, I adopted another British Shorthair called Pudding, aged 3. She is also a high energy cat, more so than I would expect for her breed!
However I thought they were getting on fine until a few weeks ago, Jumpy started spending more time outdoors and kept going over a neighbours fence 3 doors down, almost as if he wanted to move there!
Once I realised this, I bought 3 plugins, 1 Pet Remedy and 2 Feliway Friends, and put them in different rooms. Since then things have improved quite a bit and this morning they were all very relaxed, sociable with each other and enjoying their healthy food again.
So I really recommend getting some plugins as they have made a big difference. Even my lively cat Pudding is calmer now and will settle down for longer. I find that sometimes she runs around more when she is feeling anxious, so maybe your new kitten Mr Oslo is the same. Do try the plugins and see if this improves things 
EDIT: I've just seen you've tried Feliway, but do try Pet Remedy as well as I find it works very well to help cats relax. Also make sure their food bowls are not too close together and they have one litter tray per cat plus one spare. It's very early days with your new kitten so he is bound to calm down to some extent as he grows up, However I realise you want to make sure your other cat feels confident enough to come indoors. Is she using the spot you've made for her in the shed?


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

Hi Treaclesmum
Thanks for your reply & suggestions
I have sime PetCalm spray which I use in their bedding - but Me Oslo seems to get excited by it rather than calmer! Unsure if Lulu likes it or not.
She is using the space in the shed & then comes to me & the French doors for fuss, play & food. Yesterday after some catnip play she was brave enough to come into the house although Oslo was in the front room. Really just trying to go at her pace & not lose her trust. It’s just so incredibly tiring & frustrating as it feels like I am constantly looking tosee if Lulu is there/calling her & then funding & removing Mr Oslo so I can get outside &/or open the French doors. I never imagined it would be like this x


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## Treaclesmum (Sep 26, 2011)

Adena said:


> Hi Treaclesmum
> Thanks for your reply & suggestions
> I have sime PetCalm spray which I use in their bedding - but Me Oslo seems to get excited by it rather than calmer! Unsure if Lulu likes it or not.
> She is using the space in the shed & then comes to me & the French doors for fuss, play & food. Yesterday after some catnip play she was brave enough to come into the house although Oslo was in the front room. Really just trying to go at her pace & not lose her trust. It's just so incredibly tiring & frustrating as it feels like I am constantly looking tosee if Lulu is there/calling her & then funding & removing Mr Oslo so I can get outside &/or open the French doors. I never imagined it would be like this x


Hi, it's good news that she is coming into the house even though she knows he is in there. It sounds like she will come around to accepting him in time. I dont find the sprays very good so I would stick with plug ins. But its great that she is keeping close by and coming to you regularly, these are all positive signs.


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

As I wrote this Lulu is currently cuddled up next to me on her old spot on my bed. Hallelujah x

We have had a fair bit of progress this last week with her choosing to come in more frequently, usually when Mr Oslo is not around. My bedroom is still a Lulu only zone as feel she still needs a sanctuary to retreat to. However, they have both eaten in the same room, although Mr Oslo was put in his crate for his breakfast as he still wants to jump at her. I am going to carry on like this until after he has been castrated (next week ) as his hormones are definitely a major factor right now at 18 weeks. 
I’ll keep you posted x


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

A little update here.
So it’s 3 weeks since Mr Oslo’s castration. He has a definitely calmer, but still can get over excited / over tired & give the odd hard bite/nip at us humans. 
Sadly Lulu is determined to keep her distance, rarely venturing in & choosing to sleep outside. She lets me brush her & enjoys a good fuss outside, but getting her in even with treats requires lots of time & patience, abs she often just eats the treats & then turns in her heels back out again & that’s not with Me Oslo in the room! We still have Feliway friends, Pet Calm diffusers etc . 
& hoping to persevere but other than forcing an introduction I am running out of ideas. 
It’s been 3 months & things are no better


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## TTouch (Apr 20, 2021)

First off you have done and are doing the right things

My observation from what you have written is you have allowed the kitten free roam in the house which means he has scent marked every room and clearly Lulu feels anxious about having her home took over by the intruder, so she is chosing to sleep elsewhere, where he can't go.
My concern if Lulu was mine would be Lulu could choose to 'move house' and go somewhere else who doesn't have what she sees as an intruder...and cats are well known for doing that ( I had one who was a consistnt 'house mover' ) however Lulu has not chosen to pack her bags and move, she has decided to stay but camp and that is a real positive.



Adena said:


> It's been 3 months & things are no better


Step back and think about all the improvements you clearly have achieved in the last 3 months, things have got better from what you have written you are just frustrated as Lulu is making the decisions, however they are decisions that are fairly positive


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

TTouch said:


> First off you have done and are doing the right things
> 
> My observation from what you have written is you have allowed the kitten free roam in the house which means he has scent marked every room and clearly Lulu feels anxious about having her home took over by the intruder, so she is chosing to sleep elsewhere, where he can't go.
> My concern if Lulu was mine would be Lulu could choose to 'move house' and go somewhere else who doesn't have what she sees as an intruder...and cats are well known for doing that ( I had one who was a consistnt 'house mover' ) however Lulu has not chosen to pack her bags and move, she has decided to stay but camp and that is a real positive.
> ...


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

Thank you fir your reply.
Yes I am rather frustrated as it’s a bit exhausting.
Do you have any other advice? X


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

If the weather where you are is anything like it is where I am, it's jolly hot. Sleeping outside might also be a comfort choice. Hope for cooler weather!


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## TTouch (Apr 20, 2021)

The issue is you can't 'force' Lulu to like him and if you want her back and relaxed in the house looking at it through her eyes she has to travel through several rooms where his smell is to get to your bedroom ( where he isn't allowed so his smell is not in there) however she doesn't/can't risk the 'intruder run' through all the other rooms to get there...so does her outdoor camping as it is less stressful for her. 
If you steam clean the room that is closest to the outside ( likely the kitchen) of all his smell and don't allow him to go in there, give her a bed, litte tray and feed her in there and see if that helps her feel more comfortable, she is able then to mark her own scent in that room to reclaim it and you will see her doing that as she rubs around furniture, maybe uses the litter tray, eats and drinks and the next time she comes into it she is likely to remark by rubbing, you will know she is just threatened by him/his smell..... the issue is that if you force 'introductions' you could end up back at the same point or worse as stressed cats can start to pee elsewhere ( outside their litter box ) as the smell of their own urine gives them a feeling of comfort


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

This is true TTouch. I hadn’t thought about it like this. thank spent today thoroughly cleaning the kitchen/dining room & Lulu did come in & then went upstairs to sleep. I intend on limiting Oslo’s access in there &/or cleaning the floor more often. I just wish there was a quicker fix .


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

Lulu & Mr Oslo


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## TTouch (Apr 20, 2021)

Adena said:


> This is true TTouch. I hadn't thought about it like this. thank spent today thoroughly cleaning the kitchen/dining room & Lulu did come in & then went upstairs to sleep. I intend on limiting Oslo's access in there &/or cleaning the floor more often. I just wish there was a quicker fix .


Oh that is good...today is day one and hopefully you have found the answer that is a fairly quick fix but you have made sure it is Lulus home now and it will be up to her how long she decides if the invader turns into a freind or not, you can't force that, she may choose in her own time just to tolerate him but that is better than camping out.....and just think about it you will have the cleanest kitchen in the whole neighbourhood


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

So we have a little success. Lulu has slept inside upstairs with me for the past 2 nights
The hardest part is keeping Me Oslo out of the kitchen diner as he’s very persistent, determined & fast. It’s also a suave he likes to ‘run’ in as it’s the longest space in house. So far I am managing to limit his time in there & then hoover & mop floor for Lulu. 
Baby steps x


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## TTouch (Apr 20, 2021)

Adena said:


> So we have a little success. Lulu has slept inside upstairs with me for the past 2 nights
> The hardest part is keeping Me Oslo out of the kitchen diner as he's very persistent, determined & fast. It's also a suave he likes to 'run' in as it's the longest space in house. So far I am managing to limit his time in there & then hoover & mop floor for Lulu.
> Baby steps x


At least you have found the answer now and hopefully with Lulu feeling safer in the house and spending time in there with nothing 'bad' happening to her, she will learn from that so it is more likely she will begin to tolerate sharing the house space with him


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## Mrs Rh (Aug 8, 2020)

I have similar problems (not as bad)…I put my older kitten (Trevor) onto Yucalm which has helped and I have feliways. Can I ask…is there a difference between Feliway and Feliway friends ? I’ve put my new feral kitten (Stanley) in a bedroom with his Pen, but I leave the doors open. Stanley doesn’t venture out and Trevor doesn’t venture in! Hoping they can move forward.


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## TTouch (Apr 20, 2021)

The original FELIWAY (now called FELIWAY CLASSIC) contains a synthetic copy of the feline facial pheromone cats use to mark their territory as safe and familiar. FELIWAY FRIENDS is a synthetic copy of the pheromone produced by mother cats during lactation.


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## Mrs Rh (Aug 8, 2020)

TTouch said:


> The original FELIWAY (now called FELIWAY CLASSIC) contains a synthetic copy of the feline facial pheromone cats use to mark their territory as safe and familiar. FELIWAY FRIENDS is a synthetic copy of the pheromone produced by mother cats during lactation.


I see the error of my ways…order Feliway friends and it should be here today. I just want them both to be happy.


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## Catastrophee (Aug 15, 2021)

Hi Adena, I wondered if things are improving with your cat and kitten?

I’m going through the same issue and am VERY close to rehoming the kitten. He attacks my older cat every single time he moves - the older cat is stressed, as am I!

Interested to hear if yours worked things out as I’m thinking it might be better for me to rehome now rather than wait if it’s a lost cause


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

Good morning
Sorry to hear you are having similar issues & I get how stressful it is for all of you. Our progress & journey has not been linear & we are still struggling here & I did make contact with some cat rehoming organisations (was told they were full).

The main issue is that I cannot make Lulu come inside (without feeling like I am trapping her) & with the weather so nice outside she’s been spending more time there. An aside factor is that since her brother isn’t around other make cats are coming into our large garden so she’s getting stressed about territory/boundaries outside too!
I cleared the dining room/kitchen area for her but she doesn’t reliably use it. 
Mr Oslo is getting quite big & we can’t keep him coupes up in the front room - plus the kitchen/dining room has the most space for play/chase. He will be wanting to go out soon so have started putting him in a cat harness to introduce outside. I had hoped we would be in a better position regarding introducing but when Lulu just a runs away we haven’t got very far!
Sorry to not have any good news


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## Catastrophee (Aug 15, 2021)

Thank you for replying! I’m not hopeful to be honest - I think I am going to contact the breeder and ask her to find a new home for the kitten. Hate seeing my big soppy boy so stressed. Sorry you’re not having much luck either x


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## Pdub (Aug 12, 2021)

Hi,
Have you had any further progress with the situation or is it much the same?
I am only 3 weeks in with my 2 cats we tried introducing in first week- obviously went terribly wrong as the new one (rosie) ran and attacked the old one (paulie). They now haven't seen each other for the last nearly 2 weeks and won't do for another 2 with the advice of a cat behaviourist. 
Despite the lack of physical contact, paulie is struggling knowing she's here and as you are experiencing, spending a lot more time outside. 
I so wish I hadn't put us in this situation! Not good for any of us.


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

Hi
Sorry to hear you are in similar situation.
It’s still pretty much the same here. Mr Oslo goes out in garden in a harness & Lylu will come over to say ‘hi’ but he just seems to wants to bite her! She has fit better at standing her ground with him & batting him on the nose, but other times age will just run away.
I really need to speed things up as he desperately wants to explore garden on his own which he can only do if I have got Lulu inside (a job in itself!). It’s exhausting & not the cosy family we have envisaged. 
I am thinking about locking them in same room for small periods of time, with Oslo in the large crate. But don’t want to upset either of them. Something does have to give as it’s getting colder & darker now & I want Lulu back inside x


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## Pdub (Aug 12, 2021)

Adena said:


> Hi
> Sorry to hear you are in similar situation.
> It's still pretty much the same here. Mr Oslo goes out in garden in a harness & Lylu will come over to say 'hi' but he just seems to wants to bite her! She has fit better at standing her ground with him & batting him on the nose, but other times age will just run away.
> I really need to speed things up as he desperately wants to explore garden on his own which he can only do if I have got Lulu inside (a job in itself!). It's exhausting & not the cosy family we have envisaged.
> I am thinking about locking them in same room for small periods of time, with Oslo in the large crate. But don't want to upset either of them. Something does have to give as it's getting colder & darker now & I want Lulu back inside x


Sounds virtually the same as my situation! We really can't carry on like this for much longer as it's so stressful.
Have you spoken to your vets about trying fluoxetine? Rosie has an appt on Tuesday.
Seems some have had success with it in these situations.


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## Adena (Jun 6, 2021)

Pdub said:


> Sounds virtually the same as my situation! We really can't carry on like this for much longer as it's so stressful.
> Have you spoken to your vets about trying fluoxetine? Rosie has an appt on Tuesday.
> Seems some have had success with it in these situations.


Morning 
Fluoxetine has not been suggested - Lulu was been Alphazium magnesium based calming tablets which she's been taking for 3 months now. Not sure I'd want her to have Fluoxetine- but then again I don't know anything about the efficacy of it.
I can't remember peaceful life before all this drama which has been going on since April!


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