# My beautiful cat died at Christmas



## Mark09 (Jan 4, 2020)

My lovely cat Poppy died just before Christmas 2019 ( 21st). It was unexpected and has left me heartbroken. She had been unwell and we were going to take her to the vet that day, but when I got up early that morning I found her lying beside her bed.

I am haunted by what I saw because she was lying on her side staring forward, she let out a low meow type sound and twitched her right leg. I thought she was trying to speak to me but noticed she was not breathing. She took an airless gasp then became still then did it again about 20 seconds later. I was in a panic and we lifted her onto a towel and rushed her to the emergency vet. She did not move or make a sound in the car, when we got to the vet it was clear she had gone. Her face had relaxed and she looked like a cheeky kitten. I have cried everyday for two weeks ( I am male) and feel I will never get over it. I also hate going to bed and have panic attacts/ flash backs to seeing her die. I had no idea I would be so badly affected, we did love her so much and I knew it would hurt but not this much. Coming home is horrible also and seeing her empty bed. I hope they go to a lovely place when they leave us.


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## Penrick (May 8, 2019)

Mark09 said:


> My lovely cat Poppy died just before Christmas 2019 ( 21st). It was unexpected and has left me heartbroken. She had been unwell and we were going to take her to the vet that day, but when I got up early that morning I found her lying beside her bed.
> 
> I am haunted by what I saw because she was lying on her side staring forward, she let out a low meow type sound and twitched her right leg. I thought she was trying to speak to me but noticed she was not breathing. She took an airless gasp then became still then did it again about 20 seconds later. I was in a panic and we lifted her onto a towel and rushed her to the emergency vet. She did not move or make a sound in the car, when we got to the vet it was clear she had gone. Her face had relaxed and she looked like a cheeky kitten. I have cried everyday for two weeks ( I am male) and feel I will never get over it. I also hate going to bed and have panic attacts/ flash backs to seeing her die. I had no idea I would be so badly affected, we did love her so much and I knew it would hurt but not this much. Coming home is horrible also and seeing her empty bed. I hope they go to a lovely place when they leave us.


I'm so sorry to hear about Poppy. Anytime to lose a beloved pet is awful, let alone just before Christmas. Everything you are feeling is normal. Not nice but normal. Yes it's horrid, the feelings of grief are horrid. I lost my pony over a year ago and still have very upsetting days, especially over the Christmas period when I wished she was here. It doesn't matter if you are male or female, grief is grief. I suppose the hardest thing might be that maybe we don't expect to see men so emotionally upset over the death of an animal, even though that is very wrong. The one thing I came to understand was that those nearest and dearest to you, the ones you expect to understand, may not, so you may need to seek emotional support elsewhere, like this forum or within other groups. It's very early days for you and your grief must be so raw. What a beautiful cat Poppy looks, she must have given you so much wonderful company. Sending hugs. Pennie


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

I'm very sorry about your beautiful Poppy and it must have been horrible to witness. There's no shame in showing your grief, she was a precious member of your family. Most of us here have lost our cats at some time or another so understand how heartbreaking it is. The pain will ease as time goes by and you will be able to think about her and smile one day. She will always be in your heart.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

So sorry for your loss 

What a horrible shock for you.

It sounds like she passed quickly and without suffering so try to take comfort in that.

Give yourself time to grieve - take care.


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## Tanya1971 (Jan 7, 2020)

Mark09 said:


> My lovely cat Poppy died just before Christmas 2019 ( 21st). It was unexpected and has left me heartbroken. She had been unwell and we were going to take her to the vet that day, but when I got up early that morning I found her lying beside her bed.
> 
> I am haunted by what I saw because she was lying on her side staring forward, she let out a low meow type sound and twitched her right leg. I thought she was trying to speak to me but noticed she was not breathing. She took an airless gasp then became still then did it again about 20 seconds later. I was in a panic and we lifted her onto a towel and rushed her to the emergency vet. She did not move or make a sound in the car, when we got to the vet it was clear she had gone. Her face had relaxed and she looked like a cheeky kitten. I have cried everyday for two weeks ( I am male) and feel I will never get over it. I also hate going to bed and have panic attacts/ flash backs to seeing her die. I had no idea I would be so badly affected, we did love her so much and I knew it would hurt but not this much. Coming home is horrible also and seeing her empty bed. I hope they go to a lovely place when they leave us.


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## Tanya1971 (Jan 7, 2020)

I KNOW exactly how you feel. It really helped me speaking to pet bereavement. My heart goes out to you. You’re not alone in feeling this way xxxx


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## jasmine2 (Apr 30, 2019)

Mark09 said:


> My lovely cat Poppy died just before Christmas 2019 ( 21st). It was unexpected and has left me heartbroken. She had been unwell and we were going to take her to the vet that day, but when I got up early that morning I found her lying beside her bed.
> 
> I am haunted by what I saw because she was lying on her side staring forward, she let out a low meow type sound and twitched her right leg. I thought she was trying to speak to me but noticed she was not breathing. She took an airless gasp then became still then did it again about 20 seconds later. I was in a panic and we lifted her onto a towel and rushed her to the emergency vet. She did not move or make a sound in the car, when we got to the vet it was clear she had gone. Her face had relaxed and she looked like a cheeky kitten. I have cried everyday for two weeks ( I am male) and feel I will never get over it. I also hate going to bed and have panic attacts/ flash backs to seeing her die. I had no idea I would be so badly affected, we did love her so much and I knew it would hurt but not this much. Coming home is horrible also and seeing her empty bed. I hope they go to a lovely place when they leave us.


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## jasmine2 (Apr 30, 2019)

I’m so sorry to hear it, what the vet said happened to her?


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## Mark09 (Jan 4, 2020)

Penrick said:


> I'm so sorry to hear about Poppy. Anytime to lose a beloved pet is awful, let alone just before Christmas. Everything you are feeling is normal. Not nice but normal. Yes it's horrid, the feelings of grief are horrid. I lost my pony over a year ago and still have very upsetting days, especially over the Christmas period when I wished she was here. It doesn't matter if you are male or female, grief is grief. I suppose the hardest thing might be that maybe we don't expect to see men so emotionally upset over the death of an animal, even though that is very wrong. The one thing I came to understand was that those nearest and dearest to you, the ones you expect to understand, may not, so you may need to seek emotional support elsewhere, like this forum or within other groups. It's very early days for you and your grief must be so raw. What a beautiful cat Poppy looks, she must have given you so much wonderful company. Sending hugs. Pennie


Thank you so much Pennie, We are a bit better now time has passed but are missing her now because she loved the garden. She would have loved the lockdown because we would be with her all day


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## Mark09 (Jan 4, 2020)

Charity said:


> I'm very sorry about your beautiful Poppy and it must have been horrible to witness. There's no shame in showing your grief, she was a precious member of your family. Most of us here have lost our cats at some time or another so understand how heartbreaking it is. The pain will ease as time goes by and you will be able to think about her and smile one day. She will always be in your heart.
> 
> View attachment 428226


Thank you so much, and I love that picture


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## Mark09 (Jan 4, 2020)

Tanya1971 said:


> I KNOW exactly how you feel. It really helped me speaking to pet bereavement. My heart goes out to you. You're not alone in feeling this way xxxx


Thank you


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## Mark09 (Jan 4, 2020)

jasmine2 said:


> I'm so sorry to hear it, what the vet said happened to her?


She was aneamic ( low oxygen in blood) Thank you and take care


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