# Struggling



## Katy09876 (Apr 22, 2021)

My cat was run over almost a week ago. The person who hit him kindly took him to the vets which I know a lot of people wouldn't do. I received a phone call to let me know what had happened and they would be back in touch with more updates within the hour. They called to let me know my cat had died and were doing CPR. A couple of minutes later they called back and said they had a heartbeat. I went into the vets and it was them keeping him alive, there was nothing more they could do so I agreed the best thing for him would be to be put to sleep. 

I've lost pets before but I have felt nothing like this. He hasn't had a long healthy life, he was 3. I cannot stop going through this day in my head. What if I'd not left the back door open as long maybe he might not have gone out. As far as I was aware he was upstairs asleep on my bed when I did eventually shut the back door and go out to my parents house. How can everything have changed in such little time. 

I can't bare the thought of his last moments in pain and without me ( the vet told me on the first phone call she would have to sedate him as he was in so much pain she couldn't run tests)

I lie awake all night thinking of him, I spend the day angry at people for talking about anything other than him. I keep telling myself I've lost humans, I can deal with this. I feel like people think I'm stupid for been so upset and that no-one cares.

I feel stuck in a rut as I just can't seem to pull myself together and try to move on. I don't really know what I'm looking for. Advice or maybe quite selfishly someone who feels the same as me but I thought typing out the thoughts that are constantly running through my mind might help. 

He really was such a character and he certainly knew I loved him as I gave him more cuddles than he probably wanted.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

So sorry for your loss


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

@Katy09876: So heart-breaking when you lose a pet at any time, but when it is so sudden and traumatic it's unbearable. If there is one redeeming factor in what must have been a terrible shock for you, it is that someone had the decency to take him to a vet - he could have gone off and died somewhere and you would never have had any sort of closure. It must have been awful. too, for the person who was involved. 
I remember some years ago seeing a beautiful black cat hit by a car, slowed down then drove off. I took her to a vet but by the time I got there she had passed; there was no microchip. I went into Tesco on the way home and the assistant gave me a strange look and asked me if I was OK as I looked so white. The next day I went back and put up posters where it happened saying which vet she was at. I looked later for ''Missing Cat'' posters but none appeared. What made me even more sad was when I contacted the vets later, she was never claimed, as if I was the only person to grieve for her. She was a big beautiful young black cat and it still upsets me to think of her owners not getting her back. 
Sorry you lost your lovely boy.


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## Katy09876 (Apr 22, 2021)

Lurcherlad said:


> So sorry for your loss


Thank you


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## Katy09876 (Apr 22, 2021)

Calvine said:


> @Katy09876: So heart-breaking when you lose a pet at any time, but when it is so sudden and traumatic it's unbearable. If there is one redeeming factor in what must have been a terrible shock for you, it is that someone had the decency to take him to a vet - he could have gone off and died somewhere and you would never have had any sort of closure. It must have been awful. too, for the person who was involved.
> I remember some years ago seeing a beautiful black cat hit by a car, slowed down then drove off. I took her to a vet but by the time I got there she had passed; there was no microchip. I went into Tesco on the way home and the assistant gave me a strange look and asked me if I was OK as I looked so white. The next day I went back and put up posters where it happened saying which vet she was at. I looked later for ''Missing Cat'' posters but none appeared. What made me even more sad was when I contacted the vets later, she was never claimed, as if I was the only person to grieve for her. She was a big beautiful young black cat and it still upsets me to think of her owners not getting her back.
> Sorry you lost your lovely boy.


You are right, I can only imagine the worry of not knowing, at least I know what happened however upsetting it is.

Thank you for your story. It's great to know that there is people out there like you who would help someones pet.


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## Jacknmack10 (Sep 21, 2021)

I'm so sorry for your loss


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## urbantigers (Apr 13, 2014)

I’m sorry for your loss. I think your feelings are perfectly normal. It’s particularly difficult when you lose a young pet suddenly. It can feel as though nobody else really understands and you’re expected to get over it really quickly. It’s awful to think of our pets dying in pain but it sounds as though they sedated him pretty quickly so that would have helped.

Not the same as your experience, but I lost one of my cats suddenly age 8. He was an indoor cat and was fine when I left for work in the morning, but I returned to find him paralysed as the result of a blood clot in his neck. I never knew how long he’d been lying there, possibly in pain. He died later that day at the vets. Family and friends expressed sympathy at first but then it was over for them. It was the end of October when he died, and when I went to family at Christmas it was like he’d never existed for them but I still felt very sad.


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

So sorry for your loss.


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## Lucy Burfield (Jan 4, 2022)

Im so sorry for your loss.

I read your post and it hit home with me. We lost our youngest cat a week before Christmas and after a very long story it looks like he was hit and killed by a car. I can't stop crying.

There is some large building work being done near us and the contractors said they saw a dead cat one evening but the next day it had gone. I'm so angry that the person who removed him didn't take him to a vet. He was microchipped so it would have saved us 3 weeks of heartache searching for him, we would have had the chance to say goodbye and bury him as well as knowing for definite it was him.

It must have been so traumatic for you when he was at the vets. He knew he was loved by you and that's what you have to hold on to.

How are you feeling now? They say time heals and I was wondering if you have found that?


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## Katy09876 (Apr 22, 2021)

Lucy Burfield said:


> Im so sorry for your loss.
> 
> I read your post and it hit home with me. We lost our youngest cat a week before Christmas and after a very long story it looks like he was hit and killed by a car. I can't stop crying.
> 
> ...


Hi, I'm so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine the pain of not knowing.

Time really is a healer. It still hurts but not at all like it did 2 months ago. I felt like I was drowning in the grieve and didn't think it would ever get better but it has done.

I created a memory book of him and ordered a collage photo frame to hang above where he used to sleep. I also joined the Blue Cross Pet Loss Community group on Facebook so I could read about other people's stories and how they were dealing with it which did bring some comfort.

I read online about challenging my thoughts by replacing the image I'd created of him been run over with the image of the very first time I met him.(easier said than done) but I am slowly remembering the good times and thinking less about his final moments.

I hope you begin to feel better soon, I know it feels like it never will.


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