# When does it get easier?



## piggylove (Feb 24, 2013)

A week has passed since Albert has passed away. I still feel sad and miss him so much. I haven't cried today but I don't think 5 minutes has gone without me thinking about him and what happened  when does it get easier? How can I distract myself?


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## The3DChis (Jan 17, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss.
I know what you are going through.
We lost 2 of our huskies recently, our big boy River and a week later his sister Misty, both to cancer.
Was so quick and totally devastating!!!
I think of them all the time too.
I Have a wee cry now and then and sometimes a smile when i think of the good times or when they made us laugh.
But it really isnt easy at all when it is so raw.

It's not something you will ever get over i dont think, but it will get a bit easier, and hopefully you will smile more in the future when you think of your wee one.
xx


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## dorrit (Sep 13, 2011)

A week is a short tme to get over the loss of a loved one.

As time passes and you pick up your new routine without him things will ease .. 
In the beginning I kept looking for the third bowl that was Oscars, when taking pictures I kept panning to the left where he normally stood...

Gradually the gaping hole they leave softens a bit and tears become resevered for the private moments when you choose to think back ..

((((hugs))))


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It does take time but it does get better, try to think of the happy times slowly they will help you come to terms with your loss.


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## Lealou (Feb 25, 2010)

im so sorry to hear about your loss i lost my 10 yr old chinese crested on boxing day and think of her everyday but it does get easier, remember the good times sometimes can bring a wee smile to your face thinking of the cheeky things they did
BIG HUGS XXXX


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## lisa0307 (Aug 25, 2009)

So sorry to read this hun...don't think a day goes by that I don't think about the pets we've loved and lost over the years...it never leaves you but it will get easier...just remember all the good times when you start to feel sad...thinking of you at this very sad time x


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## jonb (Nov 15, 2012)

so sorry for your loss
it does get easier,we lost Taz in June suddenly ,then Sophie passed after a short illnessstill expect to see Sophie waiting out in the garden
and have Taz doing her heavy breathing at mealtimes...


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

piggylove said:


> A week has passed since Albert has passed away. I still feel sad and miss him so much. I haven't cried today but I don't think 5 minutes has gone without me thinking about him and what happened


its been 12 years since we lost our last dog, the pain fades but never truly goes away, the day to day living takes priority but now and then i think of the old mutt, we still laugh how she would totally destroy our bed if we left her alone, how she would chase a ball but never bring it, how she would walkies for 2 hours then hold her 1+2 till she got back to our garden and how she would tiptoe out the coral we made for her and the pups to avoid feeding them.....

gone yes, forgotten no

http://www.petforums.co.uk/rainbow-bridge/264453-forever-sadie-day.html


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## denflo (Apr 29, 2011)

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. A week is really no time at all to expect things to have become easier. The day I had dreaded for years came to me last October when I lost my beloved Dennis, my best friend; I still cry pretty much every day and am doing so typing this thinking of him. It has got better in between the tears though, it just takes time, don't ask too much of yourself, this is grief you are going through, it doesn't just go away, unfortunately, it is the price we all pay for loving so much. 

Be kind to yourself and in time, you will remember the good things through the tears and sadness and you will find yourself smiling about the things dear Albert got up to. You can't rush yourself through these things. Take as long as you need, it is a personal thing to everyone, many of us here know what you are going through, remember that however much it feels like it, you are not alone in what you feel.


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

Always remember you gave them a loving caring home with warmth, food and bed, i dont think they would want you upset, the last days may have been traumatic for all but dont dwell on them, think of the good times

too many never get what you (and i) gave them, those are the unlucky ones


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## piggylove (Feb 24, 2013)

Thank you guys for all your kind words  they really have helped me feel better.

There will always be a place in my heart for my Albert, I just need to try remember the good times and not the past week. I guess a part of me will always be sad that he is gone. But I'll always love him and I know time will heal.


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## LynzSweetie (Feb 26, 2013)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. 

Everyone posting here has been through exactly the same thing - a week is not a long time at all, let yourself grieve, you are heartbroken, allow yourself to be. 

It will get easier every day, I promise you - you will remember all the cherished things that happened and will feel proud and honoured that you had the chance to know such a lovely creature. 

Do you have any other pets? If so - remember that they are alive, and they need you to love them - throw yourself into that love which meant the world to you, if you don't have pets - maybe you should do a little work with some other animals, put that love to good use, and know that you gave Albert a wonderful, joyous life and that he was thankful to you for all of it.

It has been 3 years or more since I lost my last cats, it is only now that I have found the ability to love another cat again - it is a personal process, and you need to allow yourself to pass through that pain. 

We are all here for you and can help you through, I hope you feel more hopeful very soon xxx


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## piggylove (Feb 24, 2013)

Thank you! I still find myself thinking about him and the accident all the time. There is probably not 5 minutes that go past where I don't think about him. 

I don't have other pets at home  we are thinking about getting another guinea pig maybe in a couple of months. But my partner and I loved him so much that we just do not know if we can love another guinea pig like him again. That's why we are waiting a while before getting another.

How long did it take before you got another pet?

I am thinking of doing a career change and doing vet nursing eventually. So that I can try save animals who were hurt like Albert.


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

Everybody is different when loosing a much loved pet.
We lost a very young cat and a very old cat with in 24 hours 13 months ago and it is still heart breaking for both myself and Hubby.
The only thing that could help us get back into our work and everyday living was to get another kitty.
We only had one cat left and she was heart broken too. She wouldn't eat or do anything.
I remember looking on the Internet crying at the same time whilst looking for another British Short hair. We found one and he has fitted in nicely.
We all love him so much. He has made our House a home again.

So I know that when the time comes for you to get another piggy or two
You will love him/her as much. They are all different, colours and personalty.

As for the career change I think that is a brilliant idea and I am sure Albert would be very proud of you xx


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Accidents do happen - they happen to all of us, and they are a part of life - but when they do, we always blame ourselves. So I really, really understand where you are right now. Desperately missing Albert, still not quite believing he has gone, still blaming yourself and wishing you could turn back time.

So don't expect to suddenly stop grieving. But be assured that things will get better, and you WILL be able to look back and remember the special and happy times.

When you are ready, do something in Albert's memory - perhaps a collage of pictures, perhaps a little book of memories, perhaps adopting some needy piggies.....

You could warn people of the risks of leaving piggies unattended, even for a second - and in doing so, you may well save the life of another.

I am sure that if Albert could talk to you today, he would tell you not to worry - he is OK. And he would want you to go on and enjoy your life, and remember him with a smile not a tear - which you WILL do in time.

Don't torture yourself with "if onlys".

There is often a reason for things happening, and good can often come out of bad, so whether you make that career change to help other animals, or rescue and rehome a pair of needy piggies, then you will honour Albert's memory.

Take care.


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## LynzSweetie (Feb 26, 2013)

piggylove said:


> Thank you! I still find myself thinking about him and the accident all the time. There is probably not 5 minutes that go past where I don't think about him.
> 
> I don't have other pets at home  we are thinking about getting another guinea pig maybe in a couple of months. But my partner and I loved him so much that we just do not know if we can love another guinea pig like him again. That's why we are waiting a while before getting another.
> 
> ...


It took me since 2010 - Present day to get Sweetie, sometimes you love something so much that you cannot believe you could ever love like that again - but you can, and you will - in your own time, when you and your partners hearts have healed up just a little, there could be another guinea pig that needs you just as much, you can carry on sharing that love - wouldn't it be a shame if you didn't?

You sound very much like me, shortly after I lost my boys - I didn't think that I could ever love another creature as much as I loved them, to this day I love them more than I have ever loved any other animals - they were my rock and my anchor in life, and without them life seemed meaningless - three years down the line, I still love them with all that I ever did, but there is a part of my heart free now, a part that wants to remember, in front on my eyes, the things that made my heart love those cats so much - Sweetie is not Cuddles or Smudge, but she is a beautiful girl who shares a lot of their traits and many of her own, and I love her deeply.

Our pets are our friends, our family, sometimes the thing we love more than anything else - like our children in a way in how much they need us and love us - only your heart can tell you when you're ready to take on another guinea pig, and if you take weeks, months, or like me, years, to get to that stage, it is totally okay - you will know when and if you are ready and you can go as slowly as you need to.

Albert was loved, he was so lucky to have you for the length of his life, he wouldn't want you to close yourself off from loving another pet, that first day you ever met him, you didn't know he would mean so much to you, you can never replace him but you can go on with life, and in time, like I have, you will learn to see another guinea pig as a extension of your family, a brother/sister to Albert you could say, a totally new and separate personality.

It will get better, you will never love Albert less, the great thing about love is that it always multiplies, you have room enough in your heart, you just need to give yourself time to find that space that is inevitably in there.

It's going to be okay, I promise xxx


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## sskmick (Feb 4, 2008)

I think you are being harsh on yourself, it takes as long as it takes before the heavy dark cloud starts to lift and you can think about him without getting upset. Even in years to come you will smile more than shed a tear, you will still shed a tear every now and then.

Everyone deals with their grief differently, for me I have to get another pet. A young pet gives me something to focus on as they need that bit extra TLC. Some people feel they are betraying their lost pet bringing another in too soon.


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## piggylove (Feb 24, 2013)

Thank you guys for all your lovely posts. They are really helping me with this.

I know if Albert had died of old age it would have been a lot easier. But the whole thing is just so traumatic  I didn't even really leave him unattended. I left him with one of the assistants in the shop. And I'm quite angry because I'm pretty sure he saw the whole thing happen and didn't do anything to stop it. (He made a comment that really hacked me off as it happened) And although he probably didn't realize that Albert was going to be as seriously injured as what he was, I'm still very bitter about it because he was with him when it happened and he should have tried to stop it. I never want to go back there ever again and it's my step mums shop. And my step mum keeps txting me and calling me but I just don't feel like talking right now. 

I think I will like to get another one eventually, but I'm just full of all this guilt, anger and bitterness at the moment. I just want Albert back  

Hopefully with time I will start feeling better. I hate feeling like this.

I feel so dramatic and this is so totally not me either.


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

you're not dramatic at all - all the anger and guilt are part of the grieving process, and it can't be rushed. It's different for everyone too.

Albert will always have a very special place in your heart. You will never forget him, so in a way, he will always be with you. 

Some people like to have a locket with a photo, others like a photo by the bed.

And why should you go back to the shop until you feel ready - just write and explain.

Give yourself time. It WILL get easier.

We have pet bereavment services here - do you have anytihng like that near you? You can usually find them on the net. They can be very supportive, which some people find helpful.


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## piggylove (Feb 24, 2013)

Yes, I think I will get some pictures printed of him and get them framed. I also have had him cremated and his little casket is kept with all my teddies, his dog teddy which was with him throughout his stay at the vets, his chew toy and a wooden cross- which are all in my room. This makes me feel better that I still have him.

There are breavement services over here. But I feel a little awkward about it - although I probably shouldn't. I joined the forum after his passing as I thought it would help the healing process due to lots of people in here having been in simular circumstances. And it has helped talking with everyone and reading other people's stories. Gives me a little more hope


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## thorex (Sep 19, 2012)

Hi Piggylove
I know how you feel and I can't say it gets any easier, they take a piece of your heart and you will only get it back when you meet again.
I miss my boys so much, my darling Rex (RIP 14-12-10) and my teddy Thor (RIP 03-02-11), no a day goes by I don't think about them, I want to cuddle them, kiss them.... :crying:, but I have to wait until we meet again.

Just remember you may not see them but they are here with us,


I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep

I whined to you softly As you brushed away a tear, "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You were thinking of the many times, Your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care. I want to re-assure you, That I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, As you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me"

You looked so very tired, And sank into a chair, I tried so hard to let you know, That I was standing there.

It's possible for me, To be so near you every day. To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, Then smiled, I think you knew In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

An when the time is right for you, To cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you, And we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, There is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out

Then come home to be with me.

Until we meet again


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Piggylove - as you can see from the posts, it is different for everyone, but in time there is resolution.

Another legacy that Albert will leave, is that he will equip you with the knowledge and understanding and compassion to support others who find themselves in the same heartbreaking situation. 

Perhaps on here, perhaps elsewhere.

Take care.

RIP Albert - you had a lifetime of love, and it was only a freak accident that took you too soon.


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