# my ben



## Cathylou (Jun 17, 2013)

On June 15 I finally took my friend to the vet. For a few months he was bowing and stretching out licking his front paws. Then he was getting sick to his tummy, I changed dog food ..he seemed ok , then it would start up again. then he starting to go away from me ..not sleeping with me , he always did , he seemed to want to be alone. Always by my side 24-7 he stopped coming out with me on the last day...he didn't want his favorite treats. Turned his head away. The vet said it was likely his stomach , x rays , and blood work. I did not have the money but could not see him in pain anymore . It was off and on . His hind right leg looked stiff , I don't know where the pacrease is on a dog but he did yelp 2 times lying on that side. Altho they could not feel a tumor in his stomach. I didn't do pain mangage ment as the vet said for how long . My buddy was a border collie and 14 years old. I want to believe I did the right thing for him. It's so hard I can't stop crying, I miss him so much. I'm besides myself. He was going away and starting to go under the table etc. The vet said it was a sign he was sick and needed to go as dogs have been doing that for generations. When will the pain stop. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. thank you.


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

You stopped his suffering when you thought it best, he was your pal for 14 years, you gave him a great life and we all have to make that decision sooner or later, we have 3 dogs and 2 cats, we wish they could live forever but they cant, its a cruel twist of fate that a dog will never let you down but when you have to make the decision you feel as if youve let THEM down, you havent, they had someone who cared for them, lucky them

R.I.P. [email protected] bridge forever young again


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Cathylou said:


> . My buddy was a border collie and 14 years old. I want to believe I did the right thing for him. It's so hard I can't stop crying, I miss him so much. I'm besides myself. He was going away and starting to go under the table etc. The vet said it was a sign he was sick and needed to go as dogs have been doing that for generations. When will the pain stop. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. thank you.


Believe it - you have done the right thing. It is terribly hard for you - I have been through it and you feel like a murderer - all you can think is 'What if . . . " (What if I'd had more money and could have afforded surgery; what if I'd noticed sooner: what if I'd gone to a different vet . . . .).

You gave your wonderful companion 14 years of love, and he returned it unreservedly. If you had been a millionaire, you could not have done more for him - to put an elderly dog through prolonged and uncomfortable treatment is not a kindness - it is something we do for ourselves, not for our pet.

You gave him enough love to let him go when the time came - the hardest thing any of us have to do. You will never forget him, and nor should you - he was part of your life for a long time. You will find that the pain becomes bearable, but that will take some time. One day you will realise that he hasn't been the first thing you thought of when you woke up - and you will feel like a traitor. Don't! It is the start of the healing process. Just think of all the wonderful times you enjoyed together, the companionship you shared, and how lucky both of you were to find each other and to have that very special relationship.

Losing a pet is no less painful than losing anyone else that you love. Many people think that you should get over an animal quickly and expect you to 'pull yourself together'. If you come across that attitude, ignore it. Love is love; grief is grief; pain is pain. No-one has the right to judge how deeply you should grieve.

Look at the pictures you have of him, talk about (and to) him, remember everything he was when he was healthy and young and fit, as well as when he was old and in need of relief from distress. You will see him around you for some time. Often out of the corner of your eye, or in the shadows, but also perhaps quite clearly. People used to think I was crackers, but I saw my little yorkie come trotting down the stairs to greet me for about three months after she died suddenly. I am convinced she came back to help me cope with her tragic and unexpected death, though I know a lot of people will say it was my imagination.

You will still never forget him. Take as much time as you need. Keep loving him, because he still loves you (love never ends). Accept the pain as the price of the gift of his love all of those years. It really is a small price to pay, even though it seems unbearable at present.

My heart and prayers are with you. Be kind to yourself, and don't try to mask how you are feeling so that other people don't feel uncomfortable. You need this grieving time, and he deserves your love still.


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## lisa0307 (Aug 25, 2009)

Oh hun I'm so very sorry for your loss....we've all been through it and really feel your pain ...I know it doesn't seem like the pain will ease but it does get better and you will remember the great times you shared with Ben.
Thinking of you at this awful time.
R.I.P. Dearest Ben x


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss of your best friend Ben.
You certainly did do the right thing.
There's always if's and but's. This is only natural when going through bereavement.
He had a great 14 years with you and now he is having fun at Rainbow Bridge where one Day you will meet with him again.

R.I.P Ben and run free at the Bridge xxx


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

I'm so sorry about your Ben. I know there isn't a lot I can say which will help and others have said it all. Sleep in peace Ben until you meet your Mum again.


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## Tropical Fish Delivered (Sep 25, 2012)

So So Sorry sounds like you did the right thing to me, watching an animal suffer is only for the benefit of the owner not the animal. Things will get easier RIP Ben


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## Cathylou (Jun 17, 2013)

Thank you all for all your kinds words and truly understanding. Yes I do see him around me in the car , in the yard , everywhere. The only thing is he can't kiss away my tears, but I know he is saying don't cry mommy. I don't think I have ever felt so much pain where it feels unbearable at times. When i'm out I want to run home to grieve. You all know what i'm talking about. I'm so glad I found this place . I went and had a paw print made today, they had not sent him away yet. Thank you all once again...forever grateful


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## Cathylou (Jun 17, 2013)

this took my breath away...thank you so very much


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## jonb (Nov 15, 2012)

so sorry for your loss,we`ve all asked was it the right time to say goodbyewe had 2 of our beloved dogs pass last year,but at least they`re pain free and waiting for you at the bridge
take care
RIP Ben run free at the bridge til you meet again


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## ClaireandDaisy (Jul 4, 2010)

Bless him. x Remember the happy times and remember he is always in your heart.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Cathylou said:


> Thank you all for all your kinds words and truly understanding. Yes I do see him around me in the car , in the yard , everywhere. The only thing is he can't kiss away my tears, but I know he is saying don't cry mommy. I don't think I have ever felt so much pain where it feels unbearable at times. When i'm out I want to run home to grieve. You all know what i'm talking about. I'm so glad I found this place . I went and had a paw print made today, they had not sent him away yet. Thank you all once again...forever grateful


What a beautiful thing to do.


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

If you can afford it have him cremated and keep or scatter his ashes

I regret not having our old dog (sadie) come back to us


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## Cathylou (Jun 17, 2013)

I still feel him is this normal? My Stomach feels ill


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

Cathylou said:


> I still feel him is this normal? My Stomach feels ill


nope, we both felt our dog get on the bed between us the 1st night we had without her, as she had fo about 10 years

your Ben has gone on ahead and waits patiently for you

dont fret


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## Cathylou (Jun 17, 2013)

Hello everyone, last Saturday , as you know I had to put my Ben down. I was in such a state, I could not remember my pin number for the life of me and punched in the wrong code. So on the Monday I went to the bank and they reset it. I then went to the Vets to pay..Ben was still there and had not been sent off for creamation. So I opted to have a paw imprint made with his name and my love on it. I came home. My landlords loved Ben also and said ..call to see if he is still there, bring him home and we will make a spot for him. For the life of me I thought no way was he still there now being Tuesday. He was, so I picked him up today Wednesday, We bought a burning bush for him and a beautiful flowering yellow tree and a pink begonia. Glisting stones and lights. his favorite toys are with him also.
I INSIDE feel such a relief knowing he is just outside by my patio in all his beauty and surrondings. It has made all the difference in the world to my grieving. I was able to hold him one more time. I now feel like I have had closure with him. It has given me some peace as I sit outside. Thank you everyone for your support.


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

He will watch over you...and you may feel that sometimes...he is in best hands ever...


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## springerpete (Jun 24, 2010)

Cathylou. I cant really add much more than the previous posters have said. You have my sympathy.
Over the years, and they've been many, believe me, I'm guessing that I'm much older than you, I've had to face up to making the same decision. It's never easy and it doesn't get any better the more you have to make that choice. In time the pain will ease, the memories are with you for ever, and that's good, cherish them, think of the good times you shared, the walks in summer sunshine, the cuddles on a chilly winters evening.
Often when out with my young lads I become aware that the old boys are stilll with me, just out of sight, going about their business of hunting the woodlands and perhaps keeping a watchful, and maybe critical eye on the new lads. The grief has gone, as it will for you, and what's left is a profound sense of gratitude that for a good few years I shared my life with wonderful animals, each and everyone of them were a joy to be around, just as your Ben must have been.
Take care. Pete.


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## dogandbone (Apr 21, 2010)

My thoughts are with you, RIP Ben xx


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## Cathylou (Jun 17, 2013)

Thank you for your kind words. A twist of Fate happened on Thursday. Wed , I went to get Ben and gave him a private burial. Thursday I was at the store. In a car was a dog who barked at me..i looked from a distance he looked like Ben. I asked the woman if I could see her dog...as I drew near ..he was an Australian shep . She is in the American military . Posted here for 3 years. I told her how I had just lost my Ben...we chatted more. She said , she had said to her husband ..they need to find a good home for Buddy as he is one year old and home alone. She arrived later that day with Buddy. Altho, it is soon after Ben, I feel this is fate.


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