# Scrabble.



## Cromford

Beautiful to look at and so very faithful, we lost our lifelong friend, our family guardian and devoted companion last Tuesday.

I wrote the below a few hours after he left us.

13½ years ago our daughter, an only child of 8, fulfilled her ambition to get a dog. She wanted a Westie, and I, as the dog-walker elect, did not. We spent ages browsing through dog books. What we wanted was something cuddly and irresistibly cute for Hayley, but a spirited dog that would protect us and make those that might wish us harm think twice. A family guardian, a best friend and someone to show us the real meaning of 'coming home'. We discovered Wheatens and through our friends M&J we were blessed with Scrabble. He was all of those things ….and more …oh so very much more. It's 5:00 a.m. the morning after we buried Scrabble in the garden he loved. I can't sleep, I feel desolate and guilty and I'm waiting on a new day dawning so I can go say sorry for taking him on that last trip to the vets.

The memories he has given us will stay forever. He loved our daughter Hayley and took his role of protector very seriously. It was only a game, but he played for real, taking great joy in clamping his jaws on my arm whenever I threatened to 'go get her'. I always laughed as his expression changed at those words, his ears pinned back determinedly as if to say 'oh you think so do you?' It'd be over in a blur, a short chase ending with teeth marks on my arm. These were a statement of intent and a badge of honour for Scrabble. He'd only let go if I said sorry and promised not to chase Hayley, who by now would be in fits of laughter as Scrabble reduced me to pleading forgiveness. Hard but fair was Scrabble.

We ran miles together Scrabble and me. When the women of the household decided I was getting in their way or when they were simply having one of their 'men!' days, which I seem to trigger often, he was there for me, loyal and true. The woods and fields of Derbyshire were the backcloth to our man to man conversations, he always understood, and god help any rabbit or squirrel that had the audacity to get in the way of our mano-et-mano exchanges. We spent hours at Monsel Head, Dovedale, or on and around Matlock Golf Course, which we would claim as our own whenever the snow fell. Cromford canal was a particular favourite and when the train on the adjacent railway line came by walkers would be scattered like bowling pins along the tow path as he set about righting the affront of being overtaken. Nobody ever complained. Many smiled. He had a Wheaten Whirl and a wag of the tail to melt the coldest of hearts….

Friday nights were magic. We could leave the girls watching Corrie whilst we snuck off on a walk that somehow always meandered past the village pub. Life can't get better than a pint and a shared bag of pork scratchings in front of the pub's fire with your dearest friend.

When I had to travel on business, I knew he would watch-over and protect the girls. After one particularly long trip I returned to find that I had competition for bed space as he had sensed Liz's unease at being alone too long. This was to become a problem only solved by the purchase of a super king size capable of accommodating 3 including a sense of duty and a wet nose. He'd snuggle down between us and then, when he thought he had seen us off to sleep, he'd jump off the bed and find his own spot on the floor only returning to the bed to waken us with a paw on our chest as time came to start a new day.

A year ago we noticed Scrabble struggle to get off the bed. The vet diagnosed arthritis but the anti-inflammatories triggered renal failure. We stopped giving the Metacam as soon the blood tests revealed the problem and instead Scrabble got weekly visits to hydrotherapy. He loved swimming with his new friend Sam, but wasn't too sure about the Jacuzzi. It did him good though.

As the months went-by Scrabble's eyes started to fail and stiff limbs and dull eyes meant he lost enthusiasm for his walks, often stumbling, where he had once bounced with that typical Wheaten joie de vivre. Nevertheless, when Hayley came home for a visit from University, a few short days before he left us, Scrabble made sure she got a welcome home befitting royalty. She was, after all, his life mission. That same day I was on my way out, half way up the 30 steps that rise up the length of the long steep incline of our back garden. Scrabble appeared at the back door of the house and did something that had become increasingly difficult for him; he bounded up the garden towards me as if to say 'Heh wait for me, I'm coming too'. I wish I could have taken him; he waited by the garden gate watching as I got in the car to drive off before he turned and slowly started to amble back to the house. It was a poignant moment, something inside me told me he was saying goodbye, and not just for the trip I was making. We had a bond did Scrabble and I. We understood one another.

Last weekend the trauma of endless days of fireworks ground him down. We tried everything to protect him, drawing curtains, playing loud music, building him a den and simply being there for him. It was to no avail. The days of panting and anxiety took their toll on already fragile internal organs and by Monday night Scrabble's legs refused to do as he told them. I went to bed with a heavy heart. On Tuesday morning Scrabble rallied a little managing to get up and briefly go in the garden. He had had bad days before due to his arthritis and we clung to the false hope his temporary improvement offered. It didn't last though and by the afternoon Scrabble was in real distress, trembling and panting uncontrollably. His eyes told us he couldn't understand what was happening to him and that he was in pain. There were no fireworks to explain his fear and we could not watch him suffer the torment he was in. Liz and I carried him to the vets. We stayed with him to the end, cradling his head and hugging him in thanks for everything he had given us. That final act of love was the hardest thing we have ever done or ever will, but he had earned that.

We have found him a spot half way up the garden so that he can continue to overlook the house and its occupants. He would have wanted that. The sun is coming up and I'm off to say sorry. The day feels hollow and what was once a happy home seems to have become just a house, an empty shell without him.

Thanks Scrabble. We miss you more than I thought possible. Run free at the bridge fellah.


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## Luz

So sad for you and your family. What a lovely tribute to him. Please don't feel guilty, you ended his sufferng.


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## Cromford

Luz said:


> So sad for you and your family. What a lovely tribute to him. Please don't feel guilty, you ended his sufferng.


Thank you Luz. I think the guilt is natural so though it hurts I can accept it as an emotion rather than a punishment for wrongdoing.

Our daughter is away at Uni and my wife works mornings whilst I work from my home office. Those morning hours are hardest. He used to sit with me and we would keep one another company.


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## suewhite

So sorry for your loss, I went through the same a short while ago my boy was the same age as Scrabble and all I can think is what a great life they had unlike some dogs doesn't help a lot but maybe just a bit.Suexx

RIP Scrabble


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## Cromford

suewhite said:


> So sorry for your loss, I went through the same a short while ago my boy was the same age as Scrabble and all I can think is what a great life they had unlike some dogs doesn't help a lot but maybe just a bit.Suexx
> 
> RIP Scrabble


Many thanks Sue.

We are still struggling to come to terms with a loss that hit us like a sledgehammer. You are right, Scrabble had a great life in the Derbyshire countryside and he was a much loved family member. Other dogs don't have such good fortune. It is a consolation that we were able to do that for him and one day the 13 plus years of joy will help ease the sting of the loss and the sense of guilt for our part in that.


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## Knightofalbion

That must be one of the most touching tributes we've ever had on 'Rainbow Bridge'.

It is the most difficult thing of all to have a much loved pet put to sleep. But he was suffering...It was the greater act of love to set him free, even though it broke your heart.
You did right by him, in life and death.


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## Cromford

Thank you Knight. 

It was from the heart. All dogs are capable of inspiring powerful emotions but Scrabble was special, he was MY dog.


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## missRV

What a lovely post about your beautiful Scrabble. So sorry for your loss


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## Cromford

missRV said:


> What a lovely post about your beautiful Scrabble. So sorry for your loss


Thanks.

A grown man but not had a dry-eyed day yet. Gradually getting better, but I sense a long haul ahead....


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## Colliebarmy

What a lucky dog, to have had such a life and such an owner

Colm Wilkinson - Bring Him Home (Les Misérables) [720p] - YouTube


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## Rottiemama

I am so sorry for your loss. Your words have brought me to tears. I recognise the feelings, the hopelessness, the pain and that empty gap in your chest where you feel as though someone has pulled your heart right out, without anaesthetic.
I can feel your guilt, and all those horrible questions we ask afterwards. The questions we never get the answers to. The what if's and those other cruel ones that pop up all the time, doesn't matter how hard you try to push them away. 
It's such a sad and trying time, and it feels as though life will never be the same again.
The guilt eats a person alive. But I can promise you, one day soon, you will get a sign from somewhere, someone, something , and you will KNOW, that what you did was an act of love and kindness, and that Scrabble appreciated the release from the pain.

All the best to you in this terrible time.

RIP Scrabble. Time to run without pain again at the bridge.


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## Cromford

Colliebarmy said:


> What a lucky dog, to have had such a life and such an owner
> 
> Colm Wilkinson - Bring Him Home (Les Misérables) [720p] - YouTube


Many thanks. What a nice thing to say.

No way am I playing that YouTube clip though......this IPad ain't waterproof...


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## Cromford

Rottiemama said:


> I am so sorry for your loss. Your words have brought me to tears. I recognise the feelings, the hopelessness, the pain and that empty gap in your chest where you feel as though someone has pulled your heart right out, without anaesthetic.
> I can feel your guilt, and all those horrible questions we ask afterwards. The questions we never get the answers to. The what if's and those other cruel ones that pop up all the time, doesn't matter how hard you try to push them away.
> It's such a sad and trying time, and it feels as though life will never be the same again.
> The guilt eats a person alive. But I can promise you, one day soon, you will get a sign from somewhere, someone, something , and you will KNOW, that what you did was an act of love and kindness, and that Scrabble appreciated the release from the pain.
> 
> All the best to you in this terrible time.
> 
> RIP Scrabble. Time to run without pain again at the bridge.


We appreciate your sympathy very much. We simply had no concept of how terrible these last few days would be.

Perhaps that's why our dogs make us love them as much as we do. They know they have to bank years of positives to make the pain bearable.


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## Colliebarmy

Stroke my head, pat my head, 
as youve done down the years
cry a little but not too long, 
can you scratch behind my ears?
ive lived with you all this time so can i just say thanks
its been a gas, ive had a ball, but now i leave your ranks
so you take care, well meet again, im absolutely sure
ill not forget our wild wet days.....walking on the moor

(or on *t'moor* depending how far into Derbyshire you are...)


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## Cromford

Colliebarmy said:


> Stroke my head, pat my head,
> as youve done down the years
> cry a little but not too long,
> can you scratch behind my ears?
> ive lived with you all this time so can i just say thanks
> its been a gas, ive had a ball, but now i leave your ranks
> so you take care, well meet again, im absolutely sure
> ill not forget our wild wet days.....walking on the moor
> 
> (or on *t'moor* depending how far into Derbyshire you are...)


Scrabble was a fair weather dog, and would not be caught out on the moors in the rain. In fact, my golfing friends and I would rely on him more than the Met Office. Scrabble under the dining room table was a sure fire sign not to go golfing.

On the other hand, he did love having the back of his ears scratched. He would press his muzzle between my knees inviting me to stretch his floppy ears out on my legs to give them a good scratch. His bum would wriggle in pleasure and when done I would be rewarded with a Wheaten Whirl...

I can feel the warmth of his head against me still...


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## Colliebarmy

Our new girl Maddie only needs a stroke on her back ans she collapses in a heap, rolls over like a wooly womble of a dog, legs akimbo

yes, we let em into our lives and under our skin, and sometimes (uninvited) into our bed......must stop that one, and yes, the kids want em, and who ends up with them once the nest empties?...


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## Cromford

Colliebarmy said:


> Our new girl Maddie only needs a stroke on her back ans she collapses in a heap, rolls over like a wooly womble of a dog, legs akimbo
> 
> yes, we let em into our lives and under our skin, and sometimes (uninvited) into our bed......must stop that one, and yes, t*he kids want em, and who ends up with them once the nest empties?*...


Ah so very true but until this week, that really didn't bother me. He brought something special into our family. It's just the sheer excruciating pain and guilt of the goodbye that makes you think twice.

Coincidently, Maddie was the name of Scrabble's mother....


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## jill3

What a Lovely tribute to your Best Friend. it did make me cry, because I know your pain and like you we work from home, so we also know about the empty house.
I hope the happy memories will replace the pain and tears you have now.
It is early Days.
Because you love Scrabble so much you did the kindest thing for him. He is now free from pain and having fun at Rainbow Bridge.
I am a beleiver that one day we will meet up our pets again.

I hope one day in the future you House will become a home once more x

R.I.P Scrabble and run free at Rainbow Bridge xx


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## Cromford

jill3 said:


> What a Lovely tribute to your Best Friend. it did make me cry, because I know your pain and like you we work from home, so we also know about the empty house.
> I hope the happy memories will replace the pain and tears you have now.
> It is early Days.
> Because you love Scrabble so much you did the kindest thing for him. He is now free from pain and having fun at Rainbow Bridge.
> I am a beleiver that one day we will meet up our pets again.
> 
> I hope one day in the future you House will become a home once more x
> 
> R.I.P Scrabble and run free at Rainbow Bridge xx


Thank you Jill, and sorry if it made you cry. Scrabble was well known locally, and it wasn't only kids that fell under his spell. Believe me, he has induced enough tears to make a small lake for the dogs at Rainbow Bridge to go swimming whilst they wait.

That's the trouble with pets....they go die on you....


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## LPC

I can truly sympathise with how you feel. Forget all those clichés about "Be a man! No tears allowed!" That only bottles the emotions up.

Sounds like Scrabble had a fabulous life with you and the rest of your family. A true family member! A loyal and loving companion! So you have many happy memories to treasure.

The "Rainbow Bridge" is, of course, poetic in its imagery. But with love such as you describe, you will meet again! Have no doubts of that. Love knows no bounds.

You are welcome to contact me via my website, if that would help. In any event, rest assured of my sympathies and warmest best wishes!


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## Cromford

LPC said:


> I can truly sympathise with how you feel. Forget all those clichés about "Be a man! No tears allowed!" That only bottles the emotions up.
> 
> Sounds like Scrabble had a fabulous life with you and the rest of your family. A true family member! A loyal and loving companion! So you have many happy memories to treasure.
> 
> The "Rainbow Bridge" is, of course, poetic in its imagery. But with love such as you describe, you will meet again! Have no doubts of that. Love knows no bounds.
> 
> You are welcome to contact me via my website, if that would help. In any event, rest assured of my sympathies and warmest best wishes!


How kind LPC and thank you for your words and thoughts.

I do know that Scrabble enriched our life's and that he has left an indelible mark that will never leave us.


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## Calvine

Poor you, but what a lucky dog to have had you for all this time. I have an elderly cat right now, 16 and starting to look frail, altho not in pain and eating well...I am dreading the day. XXX Best wishes.


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## Cromford

Calvine said:


> Poor you, but what a lucky dog to have had you for all this time. I have an elderly cat right now, 16 and starting to look frail, altho not in pain and eating well...I am dreading the day. XXX Best wishes.


How nice of you. Of course it was us that had our life's enriched by Scrabble, WE were the lucky ones.

Hopefully you have many happy days ahead with your old friend. Cherish your time together.

Scrabble was very stiff from his arthritis and was losing interest in walks. It had become a daily challenge to get him to eat, though once started he was fine. In fact one thing that made his passing harder to take was the fact he didn't look too bad, certainly not losing weight for example.


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## Colliebarmy

Seems like a lifetime ago we lost our previous dog, 11 year IS a lifetime (if your 11) but my mistake was going 9 years saying "no more dogs"...

http://www.petforums.co.uk/rainbow-bridge/264453-forever-sadie-day.html


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## 1966 kerry

im so sorry to hear about scrabble it was a lovely tribute i am thinking of you and your family at this sad time


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## Cromford

1966 kerry said:


> im so sorry to hear about scrabble it was a lovely tribute i am thinking of you and your family at this sad time


Thank you Kerry. I see your in Derbyshire so I hope we didn't bowl you over during one of our canal side runs.

Your message is greatly appreciated. It was around this time last week that I started getting really concerned that the anxiety of all those fireworks were taking a toll....so feeling a bit down. Your support is very kind and welcome.


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## Cromford

One week today. It's going to be a long day.

I'm off to Cromford Canal to do a long run. Scrabble is coming too, in my heart and in my memories.


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## suewhite

From ford said:


> One week today. It's going to be a long day.
> 
> I'm off to Cromford Canal to do a long run. Scrabble is coming too, in my heart and in my memories.


Morning Andy, hope you have a good run I am sure Scrabble will be watching you,its a lovely day here.Suex


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## MrsLen

From ford said:


> Beautiful to look at and so very faithful, we lost our lifelong friend, our family guardian and devoted companion last Tuesday.
> 
> I wrote the below last Wednesday.
> 
> 13½ years ago our daughter, an only child of 8, fulfilled her ambition to get a dog. She wanted a Westie, and I, as the dog-walker elect, did not. We spent ages browsing through dog books. What we wanted was something cuddly and irresistibly cute for Hayley, but a spirited dog that would protect us and make those that might wish us harm think twice. A family guardian, a best friend and someone to show us the real meaning of coming home. We discovered Wheatens and through our friends M&J we were blessed with Scrabble. He was all of those things .and more oh so very much more. Its 5:00 a.m. the morning after we buried Scrabble in the garden he loved. I cant sleep, I feel desolate and guilty and Im waiting on a new day dawning so I can go say sorry for taking him on that last trip to the vets.
> 
> The memories he has given us will stay forever. He loved our daughter Hayley and took his role of protector very seriously. It was only a game, but he played for real, taking great joy in clamping his jaws on my arm whenever I threatened to go get her. I always laughed as his expression changed at those words, his ears pinned back determinedly as if to say oh you think so do you? Itd be over in a blur, a short chase ending with teeth marks on my arm. These were a statement of intent and a badge of honour for Scrabble. Hed only let go if I said sorry and promised not to chase Hayley, who by now would be in fits of laughter as Scrabble reduced me to pleading forgiveness. Hard but fair was Scrabble.
> 
> We ran miles together Scrabble and me. When the women of the household decided I was getting in their way or when they were simply having one of their men! days, which I seem to trigger often, he was there for me, loyal and true. The woods and fields of Derbyshire were the backcloth to our man to man conversations, he always understood, and god help any rabbit or squirrel that had the audacity to get in the way of our mano-et-mano exchanges. We spent hours at Monsel Head, Dovedale, or on and around Matlcok Golf Course, which we would claim as our own whenever the snow fell. Cromford canal was a particular favourite and when the train on the adjacent railway line came by walkers would be scattered like bowling pins along the tow path as he set about righting the affront of being overtaken. Nobody ever complained. Many smiled. He had a Wheaten Whirl and a wag of the tail to melt the coldest of hearts.
> 
> Friday nights were magic. We could leave the girls watching Corrie whilst we snuck off on a walk that somehow always meandered past the village pub. Life cant get better than a pint and a shared bag of pork scratchings in front of the pubs fire with your dearest friend.
> 
> When I had to travel on business, I knew he would watch-over and protect the girls. After one particularly long trip I returned to find that I had competition for bed space as he had sensed Lizs unease at being alone too long. This was to become a problem only solved by the purchase of a super king size capable of accommodating 3 including a sense of duty and a wet nose. Hed snuggle down between us and then, when he thought he had seen us off to sleep, hed jump off the bed and find his own spot on the floor only returning to the bed to waken us with a paw on our chest as time came to start a new day.
> 
> A year ago we noticed Scrabble struggle to get off the bed. The vet diagnosed arthritis but the anti-inflammatories triggered renal failure. We stopped giving the Metacam as soon the blood tests revealed the problem and instead Scrabble got weekly visits to hydrotherapy. He loved swimming with his new friend Sam, but wasnt too sure about the Jacuzzi. It did him good though.
> 
> As the months went-by Scrabbles eyes started to fail and stiff limbs and dull eyes meant he lost enthusiasm for his walks, often stumbling, where he had once bounced with that typical Wheaten joie de vivre. Nevertheless, when Hayley came home for a visit from University, a few short days before he left us, Scrabble made sure she got a welcome home befitting royalty. She was, after all, his life mission. That same day I was on my way out, half way up the 30 steps that rise up the length of the long steep incline of our back garden. Scrabble appeared at the back door of the house and did something that had become increasingly difficult for him; he bounded up the garden towards me as if to say Heh wait for me, Im coming too. I wish I could have taken him; he waited by the garden gate watching as I got in the car to drive off before he turned and slowly started to amble back to the house. It was a poignant moment, something inside me told me he was saying goodbye, and not just for the trip I was making. We had a bond did Scrabble and I. We understood one another.
> 
> Last weekend the trauma of endless days of fireworks ground him down. We tried everything to protect him, drawing curtains, playing loud music, building him a den and simply being there for him. It was to no avail. The days of panting and anxiety took their toll on already fragile internal organs and by Monday night Scrabbles legs refused to do as he told them. I went to bed with a heavy heart. On Tuesday morning Scrabble rallied a little managing to get up and briefly go in the garden. He had had bad days before due to his arthritis and we clung to the false hope his temporary improvement offered. It didnt last though and by the afternoon Scrabble was in real distress, trembling and panting uncontrollably. His eyes told us he couldnt understand what was happening to him and that he was in pain. There were no fireworks to explain his fear and we could not watch him suffer the torment he was in. Liz and I carried him to the vets. We stayed with him to the end, cradling his head and hugging him in thanks for everything he had given us. That final act of love was the hardest thing we have ever done or ever will, but he had earned that.
> 
> We have found him a spot half way up the garden so that he can continue to overlook the house and its occupants. He would have wanted that. The sun is coming up and Im off to say sorry. The day feels hollow and what was once a happy home seems to have become just a house, an empty shell without him.
> 
> Thanks Scrabble. We miss you more than I thought possible. Run free at the bridge fellah.


A beautiful tribute to a beautiful love. I'm so sorry for the loss of Scrabble, he sounds so lovely. Take care x


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## Cromford

Thank you MrsLen. He was such a loving and faithful dog (they all are, but he was OURS) that I felt I had to at least try to convey what he meant to us. 

I just got back from running the length of Cromford Canal and back. Scrabble loved that place and would often come running with me when he was younger. We would often end the run in the meadows by Matlock Rugby Club and he liked to go for a swim in the river to cool off before getting back in the car to come home. He was well known to many of the regular walkers on the canal side and I had at least two 'something in my eye' moments today as folks stopped me to ask where he was....It's a nice tribute to a wonderful dog that folks who would only know us by sight, are missing him too.


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## Cromford

One week on and I'm feeling down tonight.

It's the nagging doubt that we betrayed him at the end, it just won't go away. 

It isn't rational, because Scrabble's legs were no longer capable of supporting him and his panting and shaking suggested he was suffering. The problem was our vet didn't think it was fair to examine him. 'I don't want to poke or prod him' was the essence of his remark. I think Scrabble's internal organs were shutting down on him but I don't Know for sure. I think he was in real pain, but again I can't be certain, what if he was just anticipating more fireworks?

I'm sure such feelings are common amongst those that have had to make that most awful decision, but it's scant consolation. 

Why am I writing this tonight? I think it is because I hope it will help others that have to endure this trauma in future. I'm down tonight because it is a week exactly since my best mate left me. In spite of my gloomy mood tonight, things are slowly getting better. I am having more memories that don't make me cry. Was able to go tidy the spot we buried him in and to mow the grass as a mark of respect. 

I miss my m8 so much and wish I could turn the clock back 8 or 9 years. I hope he forgives us. 

I'm certain he knows we loved him, and that's the biggest comfort of all.


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## LPC

Cromford said:


> It's the nagging doubt that we betrayed him at the end, it just won't go away.


I'm so glad that you're feeling better. Of course, there will be "good days" and "bad days", but the only way forward is really to treasure all the good moments you had together.

Regarding any "nagging doubts" you may have, I think that in your heart you know that you did what you believed to be the best for him. Nobody wants a beloved pet to suffer, and your motives were the highest. So time to put away those nagging doubts!


Cromford said:


> Why am I writing this tonight? I think it is because I hope it will help others that have to endure this trauma in future.


Yes, there is no better thing which you could do to honour his name. Your experience could make a world of difference for others and help them immensely. 


Cromford said:


> I hope he forgives us. I'm certain he knows we loved him, and that's the biggest comfort of all.


IMHO no forgiveness is necessary, as you did what you thought best for him. But you're right: he knows you love him (notice that I didn't put "loved" in the past tense), all right! That's 100% certain.

Warmest best wishes to you!


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## delca1

I'm so sorry you no longer have Scrabble with you. Freeing him from pain is not betrayal, you made the right and fair decision. 
These pets leave such gaping holes in our lives when they move on but it does get easier as the days go by. 
It's 9 months since I took Jaz on her final journey to the vet. I felt bad too, but looking back I wouldn't change that decision.
Cherish your memories of a wonderful companion.

Run free at the bridge beautiful Scrabble x


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## MrsLen

Cromford said:


> One week on and I'm feeling down tonight.
> 
> It's the nagging doubt that we betrayed him at the end, it just won't go away.
> 
> It isn't rational, because Scrabble's legs were no longer capable of supporting him and his panting and shaking suggested he was suffering. The problem was our vet didn't think it was fair to examine him. 'I don't want to poke or prod him' was the essence of his remark. I think Scrabble's internal organs were shutting down on him but I don't Know for sure. I think he was in real pain, but again I can't be certain, what if he was just anticipating more fireworks?
> 
> I'm sure such feelings are common amongst those that have had to make that most awful decision, but it's scant consolation.
> 
> Why am I writing this tonight? I think it is because I hope it will help others that have to endure this trauma in future. I'm down tonight because it is a week exactly since my best mate left me. In spite of my gloomy mood tonight, things are slowly getting better. I am having more memories that don't make me cry. Was able to go tidy the spot we buried him in and to mow the grass as a mark of respect.
> 
> I miss my m8 so much and wish I could turn the clock back 8 or 9 years. I hope he forgives us.
> 
> I'm certain he knows we loved him, and that's the biggest comfort of all.


The guilt is the worst part, I thought it would crush me at first. But then I saw this poem elsewhere on this forum and, even though it brings me to tears every time, I think it says it all. It has helped me and I hope it helps you too:

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.


----------



## Cromford

Thanks LPC and Delca1.

It's 8 days now and still not one has gone by without both my wife and I having our 'something in my eye' moments. There's always an object, a thought or remark that triggers a wobble or worse. Yesterday it was the walkers at Cromford canal recognising me and asking where he was. There was also the dark moment of remembering 'what we were doing this time last week'. 

I wouldn't say either of us are feeling better, but we are slowly coming to accept the new reality that Scrabble's welcome homes are now memories we need to cherish. It can also be a case of 'one step forward two steps back' when something triggers sadder thoughts and of course the pain is still there but we are at least beginning to realise how lucky we were that he came into our life's and that is something we will always be thankful for.


----------



## Cromford

MrsLen,

Lovely sentiments in that poem. I can now mark today down as another with a 'something in my eye' moment.


----------



## Cromford

Scrabble in his prime.


----------



## Cromford

And doing the job he loved.


----------



## Cromford

Championship rossetes.

Puppy Sausage Race & Most 'kisses' in a minute.


----------



## Cromford

In his garden. Close to where he's now sleeping.


----------



## MrsLen

What a beautiful boy. He's gorgeous!


----------



## Cromford

And a temperament to match made him an all round heartbreaker MrsLen. 

I just wish I had been a better photographer


----------



## Cromford

It's the daftest of things that can trigger a black moment. Habits of a lifetime that still endure....like preparing his food at tea time...you forget he's no longer around and in that moment of forgetfulness (or is it wishful thinking?) you drop your guard and the hurt returns.


----------



## happysaz133

Scrabble was beautiful, sorry for your loss.


----------



## MrsLen

Cromford said:


> And a temperament to match made him an all round heartbreaker MrsLen.
> 
> I just wish I had been a better photographer


Your photography is fine - it's just that I doubt any photo would do him justice!


----------



## MrsLen

Cromford said:


> It's the daftest of things that can trigger a black moment. Habits of a lifetime that still endure....like preparing his food at tea time...you forget he's no longer around and in that moment of forgetfulness (or is it wishful thinking?) you drop your guard and the hurt returns.


I know what you mean. Every time I go my parents' I forget - just for a second - that Molly won't be there and then it all comes flooding back. I was the same on Bonfire Night, all the fireworks were going off outside and I found myself thinking 'I hope Molly's OK'. Silly, really, but she was in my life for 16 years so it will take a while for it to properly sink in that she's gone. The beauty of it though is that she may have only been with us for 16 years but in actual fact she'll be with me forever because she is part of who I am.


----------



## Cromford

MrsLen said:


> I know what you mean. Every time I go my parents' I forget - just for a second - that Molly won't be there and then it all comes flooding back. I was the same on Bonfire Night, all the fireworks were going off outside and I found myself thinking 'I hope Molly's OK'. Silly, really, but she was in my life for 16 years so it will take a while for it to properly sink in that she's gone. The beauty of it though is that she may have only been with us for 16 years but in actual fact she'll be with me forever because she is part of who I am.


I never really understood the pleasure folks get from fireworks. Organised displays with music....perhaps...but wasting money on supermarket bought fireworks only serves to terrify animals for days on end. I'll hate early Novembers all the more now.

It's funny though...one of the problems getting a good photo of Scrabble was that he disliked cameras. I think it was the shutter noise....but at any rate if you pointed a camera at him he'd be off. Thinking back, if that was enough to spook him, it certainly puts his hatred of fireworks into perspective.

Oh those small things....we have had to stop putting things like wellies or rubbish bags in the porch. Peripheral vision and frosted glass makes you think it's someone waiting to come in from the garden.

We miss him terribly, as I'm sure you miss Molly......oh oh....today's something in my eye moment just arrived....


----------



## MrsLen

Have a good cry! Better out than in, I always say.

I'm having a little cry at my desk at work as we speak . Even now, 11 weeks later, I still have good days and bad days. I have just been looking at all the replies I got when I first posted on here which is why the tears are flowing!

x


----------



## Cromford

MrsLen said:


> Have a good cry! Better out than in, I always say.
> 
> I'm having a little cry at my desk at work as we speak . Even now, 11 weeks later, I still have good days and bad days. I have just been looking at all the replies I got when I first posted on here which is why the tears are flowing!
> 
> x


I'm losing weight.

Every time I feel a 'wobble' coming on I get my running gear on and go pound some of the miles we used to do together.

I had no conception of how difficult it'd be to say goodbye. It's been just the most awful gut wrenching and painful thing I have ever experienced.

A small price to pay for all the joy he brought us.


----------



## Colliebarmy

Why worry
There should be laughter after pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now
Why worry now


----------



## Colliebarmy

MrsLen said:


> Have a good cry! Better out than in, I always say.
> 
> I'm having a little cry at my desk at work as we speak . Even now, 11 weeks later, I still have good days and bad days. I have just been looking at all the replies I got when I first posted on here which is why the tears are flowing!
> 
> x


11 years here.....

maybe if we had gone for another dog straight after it would hurt less but we left it 9 years and the memories flooded back


----------



## Cromford

Colliebarmy said:


> Why worry
> There should be laughter after pain
> There should be sunshine after rain
> These things have always been the same
> So why worry now
> Why worry now


Ah m8 it was the sunshine and laughter he brought us that caused the pain when he left us behind....

Wouldn't change it for a thing.


----------



## Colliebarmy

Ive still got Sadies collar in an old toffee tin...


----------



## Cromford

Colliebarmy said:


> Ive still got Sadies collar in an old toffee tin...


Scrabble got buried with his collar and lead and his favourite toy. Maybe we are hoping to use them sometime in the future or perhaps we saw them as 'honours' for a job well done? Anyway that felt like the right thing for us...but obviously these choices are very personal and emotional. There's no right or wrong.

As chance would have it, I had to clip him a few days before he left us. I have a few locks of his coat taking pride of place in my desk drawer now....


----------



## Colliebarmy

My real regret is only having about 4 photos of Sadie, it was before the advent of digital cameras and the costs of processing/printing meant we didnt take many, ive got about 5000 of the current pack plus movies


----------



## Cromford

Colliebarmy said:


> *My real regret is only having about 4 photos of Sadie*, it was before the advent of digital cameras and the costs of processing/printing meant we didnt take many, ive got about 5000 of the current pack plus movies


Ah that's a regret of mine too. Scrabble was awfully camera shy (as I mentioned above) and I am a pretty useless photographer. The one decent photo at the start of this tribute was taken as he was about to clamber over a style in a dry stone wall, so I was able to get over first and ambush him....Shame because he was a beautiful dog.


----------



## jonb

so sorry about scrabble RIP he looked a handsome dog


----------



## Cromford

jonb said:


> so sorry about scrabble RIP he looked a handsome dog


How very kind of you jonb, thank you.

He was a lovely dog with a lovely temperament. Kids often likened him to a teddy bear and he seemed irresistible to them. It was common for toddlers to grab hold of his coat to steady themselves and often that meant Scrabble losing clumps of hair, but he loved kids and would simply wag his tail and try to give them a lick (which we had to try and guard against as parents didn't always appreciate that!). He would tolerate pain inflicted by those that loved him. Perhaps he was teaching us, showing us how to cope with the pain that his passing has caused us to endure?

Sleep well Scrabble. Rest and get ready for another day of fun with your new friends at the bridge.


----------



## delca1

As Jaz got older I knew that I wouldn't get another dog, when she was pts in Feb we were all so gutted, it was a terrible time. 
We now have Indie and she has really helped, me especially, my 'never again' didn't last very long but I am so glad it didn't.
Indie has not replaced Jaz and never will but we all adore her as much as we did Jaz.

I still 'see' Jaz in the corner of my eye, many things trigger the memories too but I can now think of her with out tears. I hope you and your family are ok x


----------



## Cromford

delca1 said:


> As Jaz got older I knew that I wouldn't get another dog, when she was pts in Feb we were all so gutted, it was a terrible time.
> We now have Indie and she has really helped, me especially, my 'never again' didn't last very long but I am so glad it didn't.
> Indie has not replaced Jaz and never will but we all adore her as much as we did Jaz.
> 
> I still 'see' Jaz in the corner of my eye, many things trigger the memories too but I can now think of her with out tears. I hope you and your family are ok x


Thank you so much for your message delca.

Tonight was always going to be a trial. It's the first time I've been in our house absolutely alone since we lost our boy. I don't mind that per se, it's just that it brings home how empty and hollow the house seems without him. Your message had me welling up again. I wonder if I will ever be able to control my emotions again when it comes to my m8?

It is all still too painful for us to even think about another dog. I wouldn't rule it out, but I can't imagine that happening anytime soon, it'd feel disloyal even if it isn't. I know you will understand my feelings at this stage of our healing process.

I'm so sorry about Jaz but it is great to know that Indie has helped lift your spirits and make your family unit whole again.

God bless.


----------



## Colliebarmy

Cromford, your thoughts about a new dog are like anyone's who have lost a long-time buddy, nothing can truly fill the sudden void left behind, but maybe in a while, a month, 6 months or a year, maybe you will give another dog a chance of a nice life, not a replacement, but a new chapter.

When you rescue a dog, you save 2, the one who you take home and the one who can have its space in the kennels.

Give a dog a chance maybe?

Look at us, 3 rescues laying about our house...:001_wub:


----------



## Cromford

Colliebarmy said:


> Cromford, your thoughts about a new dog are like anyone's who have lost a long-time buddy, nothing can truly fill the sudden void left behind, but maybe in a while, a month, 6 months or a year, maybe you will give another dog a chance of a nice life, not a replacement, but a new chapter.
> 
> When you rescue a dog, you save 2, the one who you take home and the one who can have its space in the kennels.
> 
> Give a dog a chance maybe?
> 
> Look at us, 3 rescues laying about our house...:001_wub:


What a bonnie pack CB! Lucky to have you come into their life's.

It's hard to argue against your thoughts, and I'd never say never, but we are, as I think you know, still hurting too much to consider the possibility on the short term.

The house is now too big, so we are thinking of moving. We also put a lot of time and emotion into Scrabble's last year or two and feel a break from dogs is the right thing for us at this point in time.

My wife did remark this morning on how she saw a beautiful pup in town today. So who knows how things may change?


----------



## Colliebarmy

The centre (red) one (maddie) came as a very quiet introverted newbie 8 weeks ago, shes now the gobbiest fuss hunter, leaping at (and missing) the bed, ragging Glen, and has made it up with Tilly (who she had a few spats with), she hasnt messed in the house once, leaps forward on the lead in bunny hops, wanting to get to people and dogs, stroke her back and she collapses in a heap, legs in the air.


----------



## Cromford

Colliebarmy said:


> The centre (red) one (maddie) came as a very quiet introverted newbie 8 weeks ago, shes now the gobbiest fuss hunter, leaping at (and missing) the bed, ragging Glen, and has made it up with Tilly (who she had a few spats with), she hasnt messed in the house once, leaps forward on the lead in bunny hops, wanting to get to people and dogs, stroke her back and she collapses in a heap, legs in the air.


Maddie sounds like great fun and she's obviously hugely grateful for what you have done for her. I get the impression you are both starting to develop huge expectations of one another......

Hope it all works out great. I'm pretty sure it will.


----------



## Cromford

Colliebarmy said:


> What a lucky dog, to have had such a life and such an owner
> 
> Colm Wilkinson - Bring Him Home (Les Misérables) [720p] - YouTube


I weakened. I watched. I cried.


----------



## Rolacolacube

Rest in peace dear Scrabble - you were such a handsome boy. Your tribute just made me burst into tears. The love, friendship and bond you shared was truly special.

I am so sorry for your loss xx


----------



## Cromford

Rolacolacube said:


> Rest in peace dear Scrabble - you were such a handsome boy. Your tribute just made me burst into tears. The love, friendship and bond you shared was truly special.
> 
> I am so sorry for your loss xx


Thank you so much. He was absolutely my best friend and I will never forget him.


----------



## lozb

What a heartfelt tribute to Scrabble, what a wonderful relationship & time you all spent as a family together...
A time to be treasured & remembered forever, what amazing memories you have created for you, your wife & your daughter.
Scrabble will, no doubt, be at the bridge, very proud of his time with you all.
Big hugs to you..xxx


----------



## Cromford

lozb said:


> What a heartfelt tribute to Scrabble, what a wonderful relationship & time you all spent as a family together...
> A time to be treasured & remembered forever, what amazing memories you have created for you, your wife & your daughter.
> Scrabble will, no doubt, be at the bridge, very proud of his time with you all.
> Big hugs to you..xxx


Thank you so much lozb.

I hope he is at the bridge. It would be too painful to endure if his last contact with me was that experience at the vets.

God bless and to you and yours and Scrabble, sleep well.


----------



## cheekyscrip

RIP Scrabble...run free... say hello to Cheeky....


so sorry for your loss...


----------



## Cromford

cheekyscrip said:


> RIP Scrabble...run free... say hello to Cheeky....
> 
> so sorry for your loss...


Thank you cheekyscrip. It was two weeks today. I'm heading over to Cromford to go running and in my heart Scrabble is coming with me....just like he used to.

I hope Cheeky and Scrabble are getting on great!


----------



## Cromford

We have buried Scrabble in our garden in a raised flower bed that is about 3-4 feet long and 1.5 to 2 feet wide. 

I really want to make it a special corner of our garden. Any PF gardeners got suggestions on how to plant it? 

It'd be nice to have colour and scent pretty much all year round. My m8 loved daffodils and always cocked his leg on them when he saw a clump (or did this mean he didn't like daffies?).

Astilbe are on my list, as are forget-me-nots and bleeding hearts. The plot gets decent sun and has a fine loamy soil, but the garden is quite elevated and can be exposed to wind. Any thoughts? Help me make it a fitting memorial.


----------



## Cromford

Feeling a bit down tonight. 

Been down to London to visit daughter. First time I'd seen her since Scrabble left us. We were both determined to be brave for one another ...but failing. Brought it all back. I love my boy and miss him terribly.


----------



## Cromford

A daily thought, a silent tear, a constant wish that you were here.
Gone are the days we used to share, but in our hearts you are always there,
No words suffice, except to say, you are still loved in every way,
Sad are the hearts that loved you, silent tears still fall,
Living our lives without you, is the hardest thing of all.

5 weeks on...without him the world seems lonely.


----------



## Rottiemama

It takes a long time to move onwards after such a loss..... and just when you think, you are starting to 'move on', you realise you are still grieving. 

All of the best to you and your family.


----------



## Cromford

Rottiemama said:


> It takes a long time to move onwards after such a loss..... and just when you think, you are starting to 'move on', you realise you are still grieving.
> 
> All of the best to you and your family.


So true Rottiemama. It's often simple things...like going running at the canal without him. He hadn't come with me for a couple of years and yet, as I find now, people still remember him and stop me to ask where he is.

The folks we got him from have kept a girl from every litter since Scrabble's so he has lots of surviving relatives. They also publish programmes for dog shows. Today we got a calendar from them dedicated to Scrabble. A greatly appreciated gesture, but mY eyes look like I have been peeling onions again.

Thank you for your kindness and Merry Xmas to you and yours.


----------



## Colliebarmy

I keep thinking maybe I shouldnt fuss any of our three, try to keep a distance but then one of em nuzzles in or rolls over for a fuss and its hard not to


----------



## Cromford

I've taken to stealing a wee bit of therapy when I bump into dog walkers CB. It's going to take a while...

Give your troop a fuss from me....


----------



## jonb

came home from work on Monday and for a moment I forgot Sophie had gone,still expect to see her in the garden
it takes time...


----------



## Cromford

jonb said:


> came home from work on Monday and for a moment I forgot Sophie had gone,still expect to see her in the garden
> it takes time...


Hi Jonb. I so understand. Habits of a lifetime and the reminders.

It was only yesterday that I could bring myself to get rid of his bed and then only because Liz made me as she didn't want it to upset daughter when she comes home from Uni for Xmas. Have a feeling that could be another emotional moment.

Sometimes the reminders are more subtle. Scrabble, being a whiskery fellow would often get some of his dinner lodged there. If it was a meal he enjoyed (can't remember many he didn't) he would sneak into our hall and wipe his whiskers on the walls to dislodge the remnants. His licking never quite compensated for the muck and dirt he deposited. I can't yet bring myself to clean away the knee high streaks of mucky wall. Suspect I'll be told to soon.

Thankfully I have a few locks of his coat hidden away....just for me...

I hope you are coping. It's because of what Sophie and Scrabble gave us it is so hard to move on. Frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way...


----------



## Cromford

Colliebarmy said:


> I keep thinking maybe I shouldnt fuss any of our three, try to keep a distance but then one of em nuzzles in or rolls over for a fuss and its hard not to


This one made me smile this morning. It reminded me of how Scrabble would take up residence under our dining table if the weather was turning. He was more accurate thn the met office.

He never listened to the weather forecast like this though...


----------



## Colliebarmy

Our three bolt to the door for walkies but brake hard if it raining, they love snow bur not rain...


----------



## MrsLen

Cromford said:


> The folks we got him from have kept a girl from every litter since Scrabble's so he has lots of surviving relatives. They also publish programmes for dog shows. Today we got a calendar from them dedicated to Scrabble. A greatly appreciated gesture, but mY eyes look like I have been peeling onions again.
> 
> This has brought me to tears yet again. That is so unbelievably kind of them to do!


----------



## Cromford

Hi MrsL

He was a lucky boy was Scrabble. 

M&J would insist on having him back whenever we went on holiday. I think it was because M related to the 'man to man' contact too. J would always insist they kept bitches to maintain the bloodline. Whatever the reason Scrabble was very much part of their family too. He touched many people in his own special way...it's some comfort to know he had a good life..


----------



## MrsLen

Of course he had a good life with you. He was obviously a very special dog x


----------



## Cromford

MrsLen said:


> Of course he had a good life with you. He was obviously a very special dog x


Ach MrsL ..every dog that owns a family is special.


----------



## MrsLen

You're absolutely right!


----------



## Cromford

MrsLen said:


> You're absolutely right!


All the more so when speaking of Molly or Scrabble...


----------



## MrsLen

Oh dear...here come the tears again!


----------



## Cromford

Downstairs, on tiptoes and paws
Quietly so's not to disturb the girls
You look watchfully as I open the fridge
It bulges like a ripe fruit, aromatic and inviting.
A tail wags.

We will share, as always,
Eggs, scrambled to a yellow fluffiness
And smoked salmon. Your nose twitching in anticipation.
Buck's Fizz for the ladies. Tea for me, we have work later...
We eat first, then trays prepared its back upstairs.

To Liz first, I point to her and nod at you
And you spring onto the bed to tell her 'breakfasts ready'
'Get-up there's things to be done' 
An unappreciative grunt as you land turns to a smile and a giggle under the onslaught 
Of a wet nose and a paw on each shoulder..so she can't escape

Hayley next...

Whilst they eat and dress, we turn chefs,
You always happy to lend your palate, just to test of course
It's an important meal we must get it right,
Pigs in blankets that's the taste to strive for..
Turkey or alternative, trussed, stuffed and in the oven
Starter made and veggies prepped, we've got it under control..

Then our favourite bit.
Walking boots, your collar and lead, hats, coats, maybe gloves,
Up through the village we four would head, towards the woods,
People stop to offer festive greetings
And to scratch a Wheatens ears.

Following the footpath through the fields and over the styles
Where your photo was taken,
WellWood, Swinepark Woods and Dethick Church 
Where Florence Nightingale once prayed
But it's the field beyond we like. 
Rabbits to chase! I had to grip your lead tightly...and run...fast!

The Jug and Glass next. A traditional country pub
Where dogs were always welcome
Especially scruffy looking chaps with golden locks, big brown eyes
And a love of people. Especially if they had pork scratchings!
A beer for me, mulled wine and mince pies for the girls
Then home...the smells of cooking await.

After dinner it's time for presents!
Squeaky reindeers were your favourite,
But snowmen and Santa's were rag-dolled enthusiastically
and you let us know if we got too close
...that it was your toy.

In the evening you curl up beside me
As we let our meals go down
Mutually content.
Each with the company of our best friend.
A perfect end to a perfect day.


Christmas won't be the same without you mate.
Have fun with your pals at the Bridge. 
I'll be thinking of you.

And to all others that have lost family members I wish you happy memories as we raise our glasses to absent friends.


----------



## Cromford

Farewell to an Annus horribilis.

We all miss you mate.

Hayley, Andy and Liz.


----------



## Cromford

What a hold he had over us. 3 months to the day and thinking about him still evokes the strongest emotions. I can still feel his warmth as I carried him home as if it were yesterday.


----------



## Jackie99

Im so sorry for your sad loss xx Writing this through tears having read your post. Run free now Scrabble x


----------



## Cromford

Jackie99 said:


> Im so sorry for your sad loss xx Writing this through tears having read your post. Run free now Scrabble x


Thank you for your lovely comment Jackie.

Forgive me if I say I have mixed emotions about it, but that is a good thing as it suggests I might be starting to mend. I'm not expressing this very well, but what I am conscious of is that Scrabble would not have liked to think of people crying because of him, he brought such fun and joy to those lucky to meet him. On the other hand his parting still makes me cry, as I have these last few days due to the significance of the dates. It is also nice to know my tribute to him conveys the special place he had in our family.

Think of yourself as one of his Cromford canal skittles....and smile.


----------



## peter0

I don't venture in this part much as i find it upsetting so i missed this when posted.

He sounded such a brilliant boy and wad obviously very loved by you and your family, they really know how to make us happy!

He sounds a lot like my Tess with his antics, she to would 'protect' me when my dad would pretend to attack me and she also had arthritis which we managed to help her with and it made her last couple months better and happier. I'm sure they will be up there together and be great friends.

Reat in peace Scrabble, sleep tight.


----------



## Cromford

peter0 said:


> I don't venture in this part much as i find it upsetting so i missed this when posted.
> 
> He sounded such a brilliant boy and wad obviously very loved by you and your family, they really know how to make us happy!
> 
> He sounds a lot like my Tess with his antics, she to would 'protect' me when my dad would pretend to attack me and she also had arthritis which we managed to help her with and it made her last couple months better and happier. I'm sure they will be up there together and be great friends.
> 
> Reat in peace Scrabble, sleep tight.


Thank you Peter. That's very kind of you especially with your own loss still so raw. My thoughts are with you and your family. It's a horrible experience as I don't think we realise quite how special they are until they are gone.


----------



## jonb

Cromford said:


> What a hold he had over us. 3 months to the day and thinking about him still evokes the strongest emotions. I can still feel his warmth as I carried him home as if it were yesterday.


still find Sophie`s fur here and there as she`s telling she`s still here watching and howling in my ear in our camper


----------



## fluke13

I know how hard it is we had to do the same for Fluke our 13 year old collie cross in september. 4 months on and thinking about her still chokes me up. As a tribute to her i had her name tattoed on my left ankle as she always used to sit by my left leg. We are in the process of giving another rescue dog a loving home and although i'm excited i'm also so very sad as it truly means shes gone but never forgotten.


----------



## jonb

fluke13 said:


> I know how hard it is we had to do the same for Fluke our 13 year old collie cross in september. 4 months on and thinking about her still chokes me up. As a tribute to her i had her name tattoed on my left ankle as she always used to sit by my left leg. We are in the process of giving another rescue dog a loving home and although i'm excited i'm also so very sad as it truly means shes gone but never forgotten.
> View attachment 105327


my other half had `Taz`(her recently departed dog)name and a forgetmenot tattooed on her arm
good luck with the new dog
quite like that tat


----------



## Bisme

Cromford said:


> They know they have to bank years of positives to make the pain bearable.


I lost my cat tonight and this quote just resonates. Thank you.

I have 9+ years of positives, hopefully the pain becomes bearable soon.


----------



## Cromford

Bisme said:


> I lost my cat tonight and this quote just resonates. Thank you.
> 
> I have 9+ years of positives, hopefully the pain becomes bearable soon.


Dear Bisme,

I feel for you. The pain is hard to endure because they were truly special presences in our life's. I think I shed a tear every day for at least 10 weeks. It seemed interminable at the time but eventually a smile creeps in as the memories evolve from painful reminders to gratitude and a realisation of how lucky we were that they owned us.

My sincerest condolences.


----------



## Cromford

fluke13 said:


> I know how hard it is we had to do the same for Fluke our 13 year old collie cross in september. 4 months on and thinking about her still chokes me up. As a tribute to her i had her name tattoed on my left ankle as she always used to sit by my left leg. We are in the process of giving another rescue dog a loving home and although i'm excited i'm also so very sad as it truly means shes gone but never forgotten.
> View attachment 105327


I love the tattoo and think you are incredibly selfless to take on another dog as you are. We can't bring ourselves to do that because we don't want to suffer the pain of parting again.

Hope it works out and your new owner settles in well.


----------



## Cromford

3 months today.

Your still with us in our thoughts and hearts.


----------



## jonb

hi thinking of you today...


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## Qontry

My thoughts and prayers are with you. We, too, are grieving the recent loss of our best friend, Kodiak.
*******************************************************


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## Colliebarmy

*"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"*

applies as much to 4 legs as to 2....more so i think

run free Scrabble


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## Cromford

The weekend following the 3 month anniversary and I have taken time out to read all the very kind and comforting messages once again. A few tears have flowed...I think I need to 'man-up', but I cant help the fact that I miss my mate....terribly.


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## Colliebarmy

Cromford said:


> The weekend following the 3 month anniversary and I have taken time out to read all the very kind and comforting messages once again. A few tears have flowed...I think I need to 'man-up', but I cant help the fact that I miss my mate....terribly.


Us men dont lose it over dogs do we...........much.....


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## Cromford

it's six months now to the day.

We don't cry as much as we used to, but there isn't a day goes by without us thinking about you and the joy and pleasure you brought to us. We miss you mate, especially the welcome home play crouch, bum in the air and tail wagging in a celebration of the fun that surrounded you and that you shared so willingly with anyone that was fortunate enough to encounter you. 

I still go running along the towpath that was once our special place. I think other dog owners might avoid me now because I am inclined to 'steal' their pals, if only for a few minutes and as a brief reminder of you. They also have to listen to me telling them about our runs and the pain of losing you and berating them that they don't appreciate what they have. Not nearly enough. 

Winter started when we said goodbye on November 6th last year. It has been a long and unrelenting winter ever since. Scrabble you brought us sunshine on even the darkest and coldest of days. 

We have had your portrait painted and it is now hanging in the spare bedroom that you claimed as your own. We are also working hard on your spot in the garden. We have planted heady aromatic hyacinths and double headed daffodils. They bring some colour and vibrancy to the garden, but they don't remotely match up to you. We hope you always peed on daffodils because you liked the scent! There's also Forget-Me-Nots, and Bleeding Heart, Lilly of the Valley and Camelia. A riot of scent and colour to take us through the year. We hope you like it. We tend it lovingly. 

I'm in tears now....again!

We plan on selling the house. It is no longer a home without you. If we do move you will be coming with us in our hearts. 

You were special. A life experience. Guardian, protector, companian and best friend. When our time is up and our race is run what greater consolation could there be than to find you waiting at the bridge.

Love you mate.


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## janette shepherd

what a beautiful memorial tribute to scrabble.
I hope that in time i can do something similar in memory of Bob .It has only been 6weeks for me and i'm still in bits and i miss my boy so much.
I know exactly what you mean when you say the house is not a home without them.
Wait for us at the bridge Scrabble and Bob.x


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## Cromford

janette shepherd said:


> what a beautiful memorial tribute to scrabble.
> I hope that in time i can do something similar in memory of Bob .It has only been 6weeks for me and i'm still in bits and i miss my boy so much.
> I know exactly what you mean when you say the house is not a home without them.
> Wait for us at the bridge Scrabble and Bob.x


Ah Janette, I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss. Both Liz and I have lost parents, so we know what it is to grieve, but losing Scrabble was more painful than we could have imagined. Making that fateful decision about someone that gave you their unconditional love made the parting hurt so terribly.

They become part of you and sometimes life revolves around them. Life must be empty for those that have not been lucky enough to have the experience. I'm sure Bob is waiting.


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## jonb

sorry I didn`t see this yesterday,hope you are doing ok on this day..

what a lovely tribute to Scrabble
we have photos up of Sophie and Taz on our wall,
weird how I keep seeing people who I didn`t even realize noticed me and the dogs asking where the old girl is...
RIP Scrabble and run free with Sophie and Taz at the bridge...


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## janette shepherd

Cromford said:


> Ah Janette, I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss. Both Liz and I have lost parents, so we know what it is to grieve, but losing Scrabble was more painful than we could have imagined. Making that fateful decision about someone that gave you their unconditional love made the parting hurt so terribly.
> 
> They become part of you and sometimes life revolves around them. Life must be empty for those that have not been lucky enough to have the experience. I'm sure Bob is waiting.


Strange isnt it i lost both my mum and dad (dad last year ) and i feel guilty and embarressed that losing my boy is so much more painful.x


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## MrsLen

Cromford said:


> it's six months now to the day.
> 
> We don't cry as much as we used to, but there isn't a day goes by without us thinking about you and the joy and pleasure you brought to us. We miss you mate, especially the welcome home play crouch, bum in the air and tail wagging in a celebration of the fun that surrounded you and that you shared so willingly with anyone that was fortunate enough to encounter you.
> 
> I still go running along the towpath that was once our special place. I think other dog owners might avoid me now because I am inclined to 'steal' their pals, if only for a few minutes and as a brief reminder of you. They also have to listen to me telling them about our runs and the pain of losing you and berating them that they don't appreciate what they have. Not nearly enough.
> 
> Winter started when we said goodbye on November 6th last year. It has been a long and unrelenting winter ever since. Scrabble you brought us sunshine on even the darkest and coldest of days.
> 
> We have had your portrait painted and it is now hanging in the spare bedroom that you claimed as your own. We are also working hard on your spot in the garden. We have planted heady aromatic hyacinths and double headed daffodils. They bring some colour and vibrancy to the garden, but they don't remotely match up to you. We hope you always peed on daffodils because you liked the scent! There's also Forget-Me-Nots, and Bleeding Heart, Lilly of the Valley and Camelia. A riot of scent and colour to take us through the year. We hope you like it. We tend it lovingly.
> 
> I'm in tears now....again!
> 
> We plan on selling the house. It is no longer a home without you. If we do move you will be coming with us in our hearts.
> 
> You were special. A life experience. Guardian, protector, companian and best friend. When our time is up and our race is run what greater consolation could there be than to find you waiting at the bridge.
> 
> Love you mate.


Another beautiful tribute to Scrabble. I hope things start to get easier for you soon.


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## Cromford

janette shepherd said:


> Strange isnt it i lost both my mum and dad (dad last year ) and i feel guilty and embarressed that losing my boy is so much more painful.x


I think it's two big factors Janette.

First of all people have expectations of one another we don't always live up to them, which creates disappointment, even arguments and fall-outs. You can fall out with your dog but never for more than a minute and they always make you feel guilty for doing so. They love you at all times and in all moods.

Secondly, the PTS aspect is just horrible. We didn't realise how difficult it would be even though Scrabble was old and at the time he was suffering and not at all himself. The doubts and guilt are natural but jeez it takes time to come to terms with them. At the time our vet said something we thought quite unfeeling. He simply said 'if you are even thinking it's his time then it's his time'. We have come to recognise that there was in fact a wisdom, no doubt borne of experience, in those words. We were generally inconsolable for 3 or 4 months, but we can now go tend his plot where we buried him without wearing dark glasses and with pockets stuffed with tissues. I stopped posting in here for a while because although it was a great help and there are many many folks I owe a big thanks to, I felt I was becoming a bore and that folks deserved a rest from our loss. That I'm posting again to mark the 6 months is an indication we are getting there. In time you will too. Bob gave you his all. He deserves to be grieved for.


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## janette shepherd

Thank you so much
For the last seven years it had just been Bob and myself.
The pts aspect will haunt me forever even though i made the decision to prevent Bob suffering it hurts like hell.x


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## Bisme

janette shepherd said:


> Strange isnt it i lost both my mum and dad (dad last year ) and i feel guilty and embarressed that losing my boy is so much more painful.x


You're not alone.

I've cried more tears in the last 3 and a bit months over my amazing boy than I have in the last 13 and a half years since my father died.

Our owners have the most amazing ability to reach out and grab our hearts and we are never the same again thank goodness.

I'm grateful to my parents for giving me an education, a level of confidence, a backup system, an ability to discuss and argue, and a whole lot of other stuff.

I'm grateful to my amazing boy for giving me absolute unconditional love and teaching me how to give it in return.

And most especially I'm grateful I now know which was the more valuable lesson.


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## Firedog

One of the girls in Cat Chat lost her cat and yesterday she put up a thread about a memorial stone she had got for him for her garden.I believe she got it from Stoodley Jones Workshop on line.Might be nice to have a stone to put in amongst the beautiful plants you have planted for him.

I also wanted too say sorry for your loss.He sounded a wonderful dog.


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## Cromford

Firedog said:


> One of the girls in Cat Chat lost her cat and yesterday she put up a thread about a memorial stone she had got for him for her garden.I believe she got it from Stoodley Jones Workshop on line.Might be nice to have a stone to put in amongst the beautiful plants you have planted for him.
> 
> I also wanted too say sorry for your loss.He sounded a wonderful dog.


Thanks Firedog. I will look into that. Appreciate you bringing it to my attention.


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