# Missing my boy so much!



## Sarah michelle (Jul 19, 2017)

I lost my lovely boy chico 2 days ago. After battling kidney disease for over 2 years it was finally time to put him out of his misery. 
If it wasn't heartbreaking enough to see him battle this awful disease, to then watch him go downhill quite quickly at the end and then decide to end things is hurting me so bad. I feel so utterly robbed. Those final minutes just keep replaying in my mind and the guilt is overwhelming. 
He was everything to our family and I feel so scared that Im going to have to live without him. 
When will this pain end and when will I feel happiness again?


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## kimthecat (Aug 11, 2009)

I'm so sorry to hear about Chico. Don't feel guilty , you did everything you could .
I hope time will help ease your pain .


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## Sarah michelle (Jul 19, 2017)

kimthecat said:


> I'm so sorry to hear about Chico. Don't feel guilty , you did everything you could .
> I hope will help ease your pain .


Thank you for your message. 
Its day 5 and Im starting to feel slightly better. 
Honestly do not think I will ever get over loosing him, and I have never gone through anything as painful as this. Just so grateful he was in my life in the first place.


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

I''m so sorry you've lost your precious boy. Our pets are part of our family just like humans and the more we love them, the deeper the pain when they are no longer with us. Don't feel guilty, there wasn't anything you could do and it was a kindness to end his suffering. Things do get better with time I promise you and he will always be in your heart.

_You can shed tears that he is gone, or you can smile because he has lived_


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## Paw Campus (Jul 8, 2017)

sorry to hear about your lovely pie. Don't feel worried, u did everything you could too.I hope it helps relieve your pain


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## Sarah michelle (Jul 19, 2017)

Charity said:


> I''m so sorry you've lost your precious boy. Our pets are part of our family just like humans and the more we love them, the deeper the pain when they are no longer with us. Don't feel guilty, there wasn't anything you could do and it was a kindness to end his suffering. Things do get better with time I promise you and he will always be in your heart.
> 
> _You can shed tears that he is gone, or you can smile because he has lived_


Thank you for taking time out of your day to reply and for your kind words. 
This is the first forum I have ever been a part of, and the reason I joined was to speak to like minded people or people that understand. 
I feel it getting slightly easier by the day and that gives me hope too. Grateful he was a part of our family and worth every bit of pain Im going through now.


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## Caroline Bell (Mar 14, 2017)

hi sarah so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy chico.i lost my beautiful jake in march.my story is under the heading heartbroken and devastated.after i lost jake i kept going through everything that happened.also questioning what had happened.but as the months have gone on i realise we did the best for him.i think about him every day but it changes your life having to live without them.it does get easier but you go through so many different emotions.i still talk to jake and look where he sat in the house.he will always be with us.be kind to yourself and you only did your best for chico.we have supported each other through this.the pain will ease and you will feel happiness again but chico will always be in your heart.let us know how you are getting on. sadly its so hard when we lose them.take care caroline x


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## Sarah michelle (Jul 19, 2017)

Caroline Bell said:


> hi sarah so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy chico.i lost my beautiful jake in march.my story is under the heading heartbroken and devastated.after i lost jake i kept going through everything that happened.also questioning what had happened.but as the months have gone on i realise we did the best for him.i think about him every day but it changes your life having to live without them.it does get easier but you go through so many different emotions.i still talk to jake and look where he sat in the house.he will always be with us.be kind to yourself and you only did your best for chico.we have supported each other through this.the pain will ease and you will feel happiness again but chico will always be in your heart.let us know how you are getting on. sadly its so hard when we lose them.take care caroline x


Hi Caroline, thank you for your message. 
Im very sorry for your loss. 
I will check out your post. Sounds like Jake was a wonderful boy who was loved immensely. 
I miss chico so so much and I just cant believe Im not going to see his gorgeous little face ever again. 
I take comfort from what you say, as I do believe it will get easier as its only been a week today. Last week was such a blur and I feel reality has kicked in now. 
Im going on holiday on Wednesday for 2 weeks so Im hoping I will come back feeling better and stronger. 
Would love to stay in touch and will definitely let you know how Im getting on. 
Take care x


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## SpencerK (Apr 15, 2012)

So so sorry for your loss - some people handle this kind of grief differently. I think it has to do with what kind of life you already have, do you have other pets, kids to keep your focused. I lost my son, my boy my best friend Barns 6 months ago, and I can honestly say there is not hardly an hour that goes past where I do not get that horrible rush of pain - from the stomach - reminding me of him, his ways - how he loved me, how he acted. I'm just as upset now as I was putting him to sleep. I can never see myself being truly happy again, but this is my life - I have no kids, I grew up without parents, so having the kind of love Barns showed will only happen once or twice in my life. I fear I will forever live in sadness. Now, I'm only like this because I do not have kids and put everything I am into my cats, I do hope you are not so obsessive like me and in time you will cherish Chico's memory, and not mourn it like me. All the best and RIP little one.


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## Sarah michelle (Jul 19, 2017)

SpencerK said:


> So so sorry for your loss - some people handle this kind of grief differently. I think it has to do with what kind of life you already have, do you have other pets, kids to keep your focused. I lost my son, my boy my best friend Barns 6 months ago, and I can honestly say there is not hardly an hour that goes past where I do not get that horrible rush of pain - from the stomach - reminding me of him, his ways - how he loved me, how he acted. I'm just as upset now as I was putting him to sleep. I can never see myself being truly happy again, but this is my life - I have no kids, I grew up without parents, so having the kind of love Barns showed will only happen once or twice in my life. I fear I will forever live in sadness. Now, I'm only like this because I do not have kids and put everything I am into my cats, I do hope you are not so obsessive like me and in time you will cherish Chico's memory, and not mourn it like me. All the best and RIP little one.


Hi there, 
Im so sorry for your loss. You are going through such a tough time and I can fully relate. 
I will honestly never get over chico. He was the love of my life. 
I have 2 children which has honestly helped alot with this, but the love I have for chico is on par with my kids. Just completely and utterly broken. 
I hope happier times come your way soon. Your not alone in your grief. 
Take care of yourself x


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## Caroline Bell (Mar 14, 2017)

hi sarah thanx for repling. how did your holiday go and how are you feelng.i think of jake every day and miss him so much.take care caroline x


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## Sarah michelle (Jul 19, 2017)

Caroline Bell said:


> hi sarah thanx for repling. how did your holiday go and how are you feelng.i think of jake every day and miss him so much.take care caroline x


Hi Caroline, we are still on our holiday and it is really taking our mind off of things. I still think of him loads every day and I know when we get home it will hit us hard again. 
Have you got anymore pets? 
I honestly do not think I can cope not having a dog so we will think about getting another dog quite soon. x


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## Caroline Bell (Mar 14, 2017)

hi sarah we are back from our holidays as well.it does take your mind off things but you are right its when you get back and they are not there.i accidentally came across of some photos of jake tonight and i was so upset,i find it too soon to look at them.it will get easier but dont be scared.i felt like that and when it gets hard i talk to family.getting another dog could be the answer as we are all different.try and be sure thats what you want and its the right time.we havent got any other pets but my husband does say we should get another dog but thats as far as it goes at the moment.keep in touch and cherish your happy memories of chico.take care and i hope you had a good holiday xx


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