# Struggling to process 2 months later



## Furmum3 (Apr 28, 2021)

Hi. Sorry this might be long, so 2 months ago we had to put one of our dogs to sleep, she was 6 weeks away from turning 5 years old. A loyal, sweet, gormless shiht tzu. I just want to share my story and maybe gather some thoughts from others. I can’t get over having put her to sleep. I do know we done the best thing for her at the time, with the information and resources we had that night but after months of researching I wish we’d have waited and tried more. So basically she randomly one day was presenting with neck pain, she couldn’t lift her head, she wouldn’t eat (her fave thing was food) and she wasn’t acknowledging us at all. She just didn’t want to move. So we took her to the vets and was thought to be a herniated disc, she was given a pain relief shot and prescribed anti inflammatory (matacam I think) when she came home she had a drink! First drink since onset of pain. On the next morning I managed to get some chicken into her and a small drink of water this was such a relief but she was panting, still not wanting to move etc. A few hours passed and she started to walk wobbly when going out to do a wee. Also letting out small yelps when going to the garden. By the night after I’d gotten my children to bed , I got her out of her bed to try some food. She didn’t want to eat and I sobbed my heart out to her, so she got up and ate, she obviously done this for me not because she wanted to. But as she was stood at the bowls she was falling over, her front paw started knuckling. She couldn’t stand up. Panting like crazy.I immediately took her to an emergency vet, when our ride arrived she barked at the knock of the door, but at the end of the bark there was heart wrenching cries mixed in. It obviously pained her to bark. And she was drooling like mad all the way there. Anyway we got her to the emergency vet, to which the vet was saddened to tell us that her back leg was also going, she was paralysed and she was in visible pain. He told us we’d need to find a specialist within 24hrs for surgery or PTS. Now another thing that haunts me, we didn’t have the thousand of pounds for the surgery, if we did, I’d have taken her for it with no second thoughts. But we didn’t. Anyway he told us she wouldn’t get better without surgery, she’d either stay the same which he doubted given how fast the illness was progressing and effecting her, or she’d get worse and possibly go into respiratory failure if the nerves which controlled the lungs where compressed. (They think it was the discs in her neck). This was early hours of the morning, an emergency situation, something needed doing now because she was suffering. We asked the vet for an honest opinion of what he would do if it was his dog, he said the kindest thing to do was to put her to sleep. Honestly she hated strangers and she didn’t even react at the vets. She was that depressed. The surgery was going to be £5000 minimum and it’s not a guaranteed fix either. Although id still have tried if I had the money. I didn’t know anything about this disease at this point. We decided to end her pain, we couldn’t see her suffer anymore and we didn’t want to bring her home in that state, having a possibility our kids finding her dead from respiratory distress and just witnessing it all in general. This dog had been in our family longer than our youngest child and i hope I never have to see a dog experience pain like that again. Now I’m not sure if she had deep pain sensation or not, just that she was paralysed, in severe pain and couldn’t stand, eat, or drink. I don’t feel bad about ending her pain. I’m glad she isn’t suffering anymore but I’m guilty we didn’t have pet insurance or money to try treatment. I miss her so much and still can’t sleep 2 months after. Thanks for listening


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