# Cat Behaviourists?!



## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Is there anyone who would like a challenge?! I am so desperate to be able to see what is going on with Madam Popcorn and how we can help her but I am at a loss as most cats are predictable and she is not! 
Yesterday she spent the entire day charging at me and spitting, then at 2am she jumped on me woke me up, meowed and wanted petting!? Then today she has been lovely again all purry and head bumping not one spit or charge!?! There is no pattern to her behaviour and I am at a loss at what to do! 
The other weird thing is tonight she sat on the bannister and after she launched herself at OH last night from there I was slightly wary BUT she tilted her head 90degrees and meowed like she wanted a stroke however her tail was wagging so I was not about to approach her! She did it again when I spoke to her and then jumped down and wandered off to my bed. 
I cannot read her at all as she flips in a split second so have no idea if I should have stroked her or if I was right to be wary!? But now I'm walking on eggshells as I just never know how she's going to be!! 
All the cats in JGs videos are the same all the time but she isn't! She will ask for a stroke and head bumps then attacks your head or hand!? 
Help please!!!


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## Guest (Sep 23, 2021)

Hi,
I am not a behaviorist but my first two thoughts are: One I mentioned before possibly neurological and the second I can think of is overstimulation or possibly touching a no go area for her. Not her belly (which I think you don't touch) but some other area that may be a trigger. 

With overstimulation, cats are fine and happy up to a point and then it is too much. But this involves touch. They normally give a warning such as tail swinging before any attack. Usually it involves too much petting. So for that, pet only once or twice or less than usual and see if she requests more or is fine as is. Watch for any signs of agitation and stop well before. 

For the other random angry moments, I lean more towards something else. She may be just warning you away and saying I want to be alone now but in a very strong way. Or it may be neurological and you will not know the trigger or what is going on to create the reaction. She may have been born with a brain issue or an injury before you got her.
That is if it is neurological, it may not be.

One other thought, as Popcorn does react strongly at times, I imagine you and your family keep an eye on her mood. Cats do see stares sometimes as aggression so I would, say when passing her in the hallways pretend not to see her and look away. Might be hard to do but try it and see if that helps. 

If she is meowing for example, on the bannister and tail swinging she may want play vs petting. One of my cats meows and walks around or goes to the toy cupboard and sits when he wants play. Rather than pet her in a possibly wound up mood I would try a wand toy (long like the Da Bird). 

As she came to you very young at first she may not have learned proper play inhibition from playing with her littermates and part of her aggression may be because she did not learn proper cues as a youngster.

My cats sit or stand and face each other and swing tails as an intro to a play fight. 

Could be she is inviting you to a play fight.  I would not want to get into a play fight with Popcorn but as she is a cat and if I understand correctly, not been around other cats since very young - she may be in part wanting to use her cat instincts on her human family.


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## Cully (May 16, 2018)

What do you do when she attacks your hand? Do you pull your hand away for example? How do you defend yourself?
Does her tail swish or is it just the tip?
When she spent the day hissing and spitting at you, how had the day been? Had she been unable to go out because of the weather, or had you been doing something that irritated her i.e. vacuuming.
Had she been looking out of the window at birds, another cat, heard a noisy car/motorbike etc?
Does she attack you when you've been texting on your phone, or writing i.e. doing a crossword?
No I'm not barmy asking daft questions. There's a reason.


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Cully said:


> What do you do when she attacks your hand? Do you pull your hand away for example? How do you defend yourself?
> *I pull my hand away and low growl at her!
> 
> Does her tail swish or is it just the tip?
> ...


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

J. Dawson said:


> Hi,
> I am not a behaviorist but my first two thoughts are: One I mentioned before possibly neurological and the second I can think of is overstimulation or possibly touching a no go area for her. Not her belly (which I think you don't touch) but some other area that may be a trigger.
> 
> With overstimulation, cats are fine and happy up to a point and then it is too much. But this involves touch. They normally give a warning such as tail swinging before any attack. Usually it involves too much petting. So for that, pet only once or twice or less than usual and see if she requests more or is fine as is. Watch for any signs of agitation and stop well before.
> ...


*I honestly have no idea!! I'm hoping she will play fight with Mittens!!

Thank you for all the advice! She's just so sporadic it's unnerving!! Lol


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## Maurey (Nov 18, 2019)

Tbqh I think you’re just complicating the entire situation with a kitten — it’s not fair on either of them. A trained behaviourist is definitely a good idea, but a second cat is going to make sorting out her issues more difficult, imo. You won’t know what’s being caused by the underlying behavioural issues, and what’s her reacting to the stress of the kitten.


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Maurey said:


> Tbqh I think you're just complicating the entire situation with a kitten - it's not fair on either of them. A trained behaviourist is definitely a good idea, but a second cat is going to make sorting out her issues more difficult, imo. You won't know what's being caused by the underlying behavioural issues, and what's her reacting to the stress of the kitten.


I had already spoken to the vet about a kitten and the vet said because he's a boy and a kitten there is no reason just because Popcorn hates people that she would automatically hate another cat as long as she is still top cat which she is. She has met Mittens and did nothing other than look at him and continue eating her food. No spitting no attacking not even a growl. Nothing. 
Popcorns issues are with people!


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## Maurey (Nov 18, 2019)

Things like redirected aggression are a potential consequence of stress induced by strange animals on a cats’ territory, especially if you didn’t do a gradual intro. Just because she’s not taking it out on the kitten doesn’t mean his presence isn’t a stressor.


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Maurey said:


> Things like redirected aggression are a potential consequence of stress induced by strange animals on a cats' territory, especially if you didn't do a gradual intro. Just because she's not taking it out on the kitten doesn't mean his presence isn't a stressor.


We are still going but have so far done a 3 week VERY gradual intro and they have only seen each other twice but separated through a screened door so far. I have followed all the advice Chillminx posted on a past thread plus Jackson Galaxy's advice for cats like her. 
Popcorn has been behaving like this for 8 years now since we got her. When she was 2 she took a chunk out of my OH eye attacking her face in the middle of the night. 
It's only now seeing Mittens I've realised how abnormal her kitten behaviour was which is why I am trying to see if there's anything I can do to help her. Not because this is a new problem as it's not!


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## Yoninah (Sep 24, 2021)

popcornsmum said:


> She will ask for a stroke and head bumps then attacks your head or hand!? Help please!!!


Not sure I can give you help but I can offer you my sympathy cos we have the same problem.

Briefly, we adopted a Calico 59 days ago, pretty sure she came from a household where she suffered some abuse. No one could get near her without being swiped at the Shelter but she chose us so we brought her home.

We have seen amazing improvement in her but we are at a loss as to why she 'swipes'. She will approach us and ask to be petted and then swipes us. She presses her head under our hand and then - zap! - she swipes. Claws are retracted so no deliberate damage (although the dewclaw can break the skin surface). She also bit this morning but didn't draw blood.

We know that swiping can mean (in her) 'Don't brush me with that, try something else' but she can press us into stroking her with a hand only for her to strike.

We have been observing this for a few weeks since we were able to start petting her and we can honestly say that it doesn't make sense, it isn't logical. It isn't over-stimulation because she can approach us when there has been no contact and it can happen immediately - then she's calm after.

And it's not a Calico trait, either. Our only explanation so far is that she's fearful of hands/forearms - which could be explained by the previous owners - as we get no problem with torso, legs or feet.

I know this doesn't help - but at least I can agree with you that 'cats happen'.


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Yoninah said:


> Not sure I can give you help but I can offer you my sympathy cos we have the same problem.
> 
> Briefly, we adopted a Calico 59 days ago, pretty sure she came from a household where she suffered some abuse. No one could get near her without being swiped at the Shelter but she chose us so we brought her home.
> 
> ...


Wow this is identical behaviour to Popcorn! If you ever find out a cause I'd be super interested to hear it!!!


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

J. Dawson said:


> Hi,
> I am not a behaviorist but my first two thoughts are: One I mentioned before possibly neurological and the second I can think of is overstimulation or possibly touching a no go area for her. Not her belly (which I think you don't touch) but some other area that may be a trigger.
> 
> With overstimulation, cats are fine and happy up to a point and then it is too much. But this involves touch. They normally give a warning such as tail swinging before any attack. Usually it involves too much petting. So for that, pet only once or twice or less than usual and see if she requests more or is fine as is. Watch for any signs of agitation and stop well before.
> ...


I thought I'd give you a wee update! Thank you so much as I followed your advice of not making eye contact - at all - ever! This seems to work well! Madam has had a brilliant 4 days and noone has been attacked or spat at or booped since Tuesday night!! Shes been amazingly calm and happy! 
This morning was major progress with her and Mittens as often when he meows she will attack us BUT this morning he meowed and she approached the lounge door, sniffed it and walked away upstairs PAST me and my son in the hall not a swipe, hiss or boop she just wandered up the stairs, onto my bed and washed herself!!! Neither of us looked at her which I think was the key!!! 
The thing is she can often go days or weeks being lovely then suddenly turn! So God knows if this will last but I hope so!! Lol


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## Yoninah (Sep 24, 2021)

popcornsmum said:


> Wow this is identical behaviour to Popcorn! If you ever find out a cause I'd be super interested to hear it!!!


I have been assuming that your cat wasn't adopted so the trait isn't a throwback to something she experienced prior to her presence.

This gives me a problem with ours because we put the behaviour down to being hit with a hand when she was weeing over the edge of the litter tray repeatedly - the report we got was that this had gone on for many months and Vet visits had diagnosed a UTI (which may have been wrong). She was still being treated for a UTI at the Shelter we adopted her from.

HOWEVER, if yours wasn't adopted and can't have had any -ve reaction to a hand interaction then our assumption is probably wrong and - alas! - looks like it's a mystery as to where it comes from.


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Yoninah said:


> I have been assuming that your cat wasn't adopted so the trait isn't a throwback to something she experienced prior to her presence.
> 
> This gives me a problem with ours because we put the behaviour down to being hit with a hand when she was weeing over the edge of the litter tray repeatedly - the report we got was that this had gone on for many months and Vet visits had diagnosed a UTI (which may have been wrong). She was still being treated for a UTI at the Shelter we adopted her from.
> 
> HOWEVER, if yours wasn't adopted and can't have had any -ve reaction to a hand interaction then our assumption is probably wrong and - alas! - looks like it's a mystery as to where it comes from.


No she's been with me since a kitten and never been manhandled or anything! But she was kept in a cupboard for 10 weeks until my friend got her and gave her to me so it's possible that didn't help as I couldn't even pick her up really as a kitten!


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## Guest (Sep 25, 2021)

Glad that may be helping @popcornsmum ~ fingers crossed ☘


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

So Popcorn just mystifies me so much having spent so long researching ways to try and "tame" her I find myself studying her behaviour. Tonight was a new one! So Popcorn actually plays Tag (she started playing this as a kitten and has done for 8 years now well when she chooses!) 
She will run up Tag you on the leg, run off and hide behind the bedroom door and wait for you to walk in before she jumps out, waits for you to Tag her (a gentle touch on her) and then she runs and hides on the top stair and the game continues until she gets bored and goes off to eat usually ! (It's always the same hiding places!!) But tonight she tagged me, ran and hid behind the bedroom door but when i walked in and tried not to look at her she actually did a low meow at me which she hasn't done during a game of Tag before. Now she had initiated the game, she was playing gently up until the meow so i immediately stopped playing and left her alone but she came up to me with a straight up tail, no micro signs of aggression, put her head up to be stroked then booped my hand when I went to stroke her! It's almost like she wants to play and she wants a stroke but she can't always handle it when you give it


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Breakthrough!!!!!! 

Besides from Popcorn seemingly not being that bothered of Mittens now having seen him 4 times and she just looks at him and nothing more. BUT tonight she was playing with Monk Monk on the bed and as she finished Bunny kicking him she was all overstimulated so turned towards me and looked like she was about to pounce on me (in bed!) with giant wide eyes and her ears back! So I immediately clicked my fingers pointing to the ground and sternly said DOWN, DOWN Popcorn (she understands the word DOWN and LAY DOWN) and she looked then retreated to her own towel on the bed and lay down!! No attacking me or anything! Usually when she's played before we can give her a treat she attacks us from being overstimulated but not tonight infact I can't even remember when she properly attacked me last now!


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## Yoninah (Sep 24, 2021)

popcornsmum said:


> Usually when she's played before we can give her a treat she attacks us from being overstimulated but not tonight infact I can't even remember when she properly attacked me last now!


Glad to hear that you've seen some improvement. Attached is a photo of our cat taken yesterday. No one could get near her without being swiped or 'bitten' - she's still swiping a little as we discussed earlier (and hissing) but she seems to be realising that humans have their advantages.


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Yoninah said:


> Glad to hear that you've seen some improvement. Attached is a photo of our cat taken yesterday. No one could get near her without being swiped or 'bitten' - she's still swiping a little as we discussed earlier (and hissing) but she seems to be realising that humans have their advantages.


Aw bless her! Popcorn is currently kneading my stomach and drooling on me!


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)




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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Little update: Popcorn is very tolerant of her mad baby brother as long as he doesn't approach her whilst she's eating or laying on my pillow! He's had a couple of hisses from her when he tried to share her food (we now feed them in separate rooms again as Mittens scoffs his food then wants Popcorns and as she eats slower and grazes we didn't think it fair on her) but she's not booped him nor spat or anything else. 
My pillow is Popcorns spot (when I'm not on it!) And actually she did try to turf me off it at midnight by meowing in my face and walking round my head because she wanted to lay on it!!!! But I told her to lay down on her towel by my feet and she did!


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## Cully (May 16, 2018)

popcornsmum said:


> Little update: Popcorn is very tolerant of her mad baby brother as long as he doesn't approach her whilst she's eating or laying on my pillow! He's had a couple of hisses from her when he tried to share her food (we now feed them in separate rooms again as Mittens scoffs his food then wants Popcorns and as she eats slower and grazes we didn't think it fair on her) but she's not booped him nor spat or anything else.
> My pillow is Popcorns spot (when I'm not on it!) And actually she did try to turf me off it at midnight by meowing in my face and walking round my head because she wanted to lay on it!!!! But I told her to lay down on her towel by my feet and she did!


It all sounds good doesn't it. Slowly getting there. Things are so different from just a few weeks ago.


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Cully said:


> It all sounds good doesn't it. Slowly getting there. Things are so different from just a few weeks ago.


She's really doing amazingly! We are all quite surprised! Lol


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

I'm not sure how I can get Mittens to stop eating Popcorns food. Everytime they see each other Mittens wolfs his food down and makes a beeline through to Popcorns and she keeps hissing at him. I try to distract him to play with laser and wand toys but he's food obsessed!


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

popcornsmum said:


> I'm not sure how I can get Mittens to stop eating Popcorns food. Everytime they see each other Mittens wolfs his food down and makes a beeline through to Popcorns and she keeps hissing at him. I try to distract him to play with laser and wand toys but he's food obsessed!


 Maybe mittens needs more food


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## Cully (May 16, 2018)

popcornsmum said:


> I'm not sure how I can get Mittens to stop eating Popcorns food. Everytime they see each other Mittens wolfs his food down and makes a beeline through to Popcorns and she keeps hissing at him. I try to distract him to play with laser and wand toys but he's food obsessed!


Yes I agree with @OrientalSlave that Mittens might need more food, but you could also try one of those slow feeder bowls so he takes longer to eat. Have a look at this link. There are plenty to choose from.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Simply-Pet...r+bowl+wet+food&qid=1633508137&sprefix=catslo


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## Guest (Oct 6, 2021)

I agree, if good quality food, feed him as much as he wants. 
Also microchip feeders may work to keep food seperate.


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Mittens is currently eating 4-5 pouches a day and never leaves any! He'll be 20 weeks on Saturday. 
A mix of NM, WW, Whiskers/Felix kitten and Webbox kitten all wet foods. Sadly we seem to have a shortage of kitten foods up here right now so it's whatever the shops have in stock and I can't even buy NM in bulk as the shops only ever seem to have the odd box each week! 
He will scoff one pouch and seemingly be full as he goes to lay down or play with his toys but as soon as he sees Popcorns food he jumps up and beelines for it then gets a hiss! 
I think i will try a slow feeder and that microchip feeders might be the answer! 

It's the only time she will hiss at him tbf to Popcorn so it's still progress!!! We just need to solve the problem!!!


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## Cully (May 16, 2018)

I think that in general you cannot over feed a growing kitten and it's probably the most important time in their life they get plenty to eat. Is he still getting wormed regularly (just to rule out a possible reason for eating so much).
I've noticed a shortage in kitten food recently, but I don't think feeding food for adults will do much harm in the short term.


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

popcornsmum said:


> Mittens is currently eating 4-5 pouches a day and never leaves any! He'll be 20 weeks on Saturday.
> A mix of NM, WW, Whiskers/Felix kitten and Webbox kitten all wet foods. Sadly we seem to have a shortage of kitten foods up here right now so it's whatever the shops have in stock and I can't even buy NM in bulk as the shops only ever seem to have the odd box each week!
> He will scoff one pouch and seemingly be full as he goes to lay down or play with his toys but as soon as he sees Popcorns food he jumps up and beelines for it then gets a hiss!
> I think i will try a slow feeder and that microchip feeders might be the answer!
> ...


Have you looked into switching to tins from Zooplus? I don't bother buying kitten food, mine get good quality foods mostly made in Germany that use meat as the sole protein source and label what all the meat or meats in the tin are. Whiskers, Felix, Webbox and probably some others you list have 'meat (and/or fish) and meat derivatives' on the label so you really don't know what you are feeding them.


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## Cully (May 16, 2018)

"Meat and animal derivatives" is a generic term that *covers all animals and parts such* as heads, feet, guts, lungs, hair, feathers and wool!
Which when you think about it is what cats eat when they consume the whole rodent/bird etc in the wild.
I agree that good quality food may suit many owners but not everyone can afford to feed it everyday and shouldn't be put off from buying the likes of Felix, Sheba etc just because derivatives doesn't 'sound' very pleasant. Indeed for those with picky eaters, Felix, Whiskas etc are often the only option if that's all the cat will eat. When mealtimes become a battle of wills, it rarely ends well.
Just my opinion of course.


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

Cully said:


> "Meat and animal derivatives" is a generic term that *covers all animals and parts such* as heads, feet, guts, lungs, hair, feathers and wool!
> Which when you think about it is what cats eat when they consume the whole rodent/bird etc in the wild.
> I agree that good quality food may suit many owners but not everyone can afford to feed it everyday and shouldn't be put off from buying the likes of Felix, Sheba etc just because derivatives doesn't 'sound' very pleasant. Indeed for those with picky eaters, Felix, Whiskas etc are often the only option if that's all the cat will eat. When mealtimes become a battle of wills, it rarely ends well.
> Just my opinion of course.


I don't have a problem that 'meat & meat derivatives' includes bits of animals people don't eat.

I *do* have a problem that it doesn't state what the meat is, and changes in that meats go in (beef, pork, chicken, anything else cheap) can cause upsets.


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## Cully (May 16, 2018)

OrientalSlave said:


> I don't have a problem that 'meat & meat derivatives' includes bits of animals people don't eat.
> 
> I *do* have a problem that it doesn't state what the meat is, and changes in that meats go in (beef, pork, chicken, anything else cheap) can cause upsets.


True. Whatever the main food is stated to be, chicken is found in most of them, even fish recipes. If your cat appears sensitive/allergic to some food type, it helps to know exactly what it is.
It is a problem, but considering how long its taken for all ingredients to be listed on food for human consumption, I'm not holding my breath for the same to apply in the pet food industry anytime soon!!


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

Cully said:


> True. Whatever the main food is stated to be, chicken is found in most of them, even fish recipes. If your cat appears sensitive/allergic to some food type, it helps to know exactly what it is.
> It is a problem, but considering how long its taken for all ingredients to be listed on food for human consumption, I'm not holding my breath for the same to apply in the pet food industry anytime soon!!


The German foods from ZooPlus do list fully which is why I buy them


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2021)

@popcornsmum 
That is a good suggestion from @OrientalSlave 
Better quality foods also tend to fill the belly better and keep cats full for longer. If he is eating partly a mix of Whiskas type food then it will not be as filling.
Rosie's Farm & Feringa are some good choices from ZP. 
Might help especially now if hard to find better quality foods in shops at the moment.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

popcornsmum said:


> I'm not sure how I can get Mittens to stop eating Popcorns food.


 I had one who would (truly) only eat what she could steal from another cat. Even when they were given exactly the same!


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## Cully (May 16, 2018)

Calvine said:


> I had one who would (truly) only eat what she could steal from another cat. Even when they were given exactly the same!


My friends two who are brothers eat at the same time, but the younger one holds back while his older bro licks all the jelly off both plates first.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Cully said:


> his older bro licks all the jelly off both plates first


 That is really sneaky!


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Thanks for advice will order Mittens some food from ZP. They are still kept separately because Popcorn doesn't want to share her space of our bedroom which is totally understandable so she has upstairs and Mittens has downstairs apart from the kitchen which is Popcorns as well! One odd thing ive noticed is Popcorn asks to come into the lounge a few times a day so we let her in, Mittens is unsure as to how she will be but she wanders around sniffing but doesn't fully come in the room just sticks to the edges then totally ignores him then walks out. 
Is it that she can't see him as he's not on the ground as like he's always on the sofa or my lap or up the cat tree? 
Anyway she's totally fine no aggression or anything just calm and when she wanders back upstairs and I come up she's not attacking me or anything like she use to? I just wondered why she is so calm!?!? Lol


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

So Popcorn is being Popcorn and does the occasional growl, hiss and swipe at Mittens when he approaches her but then runs away! As soon as he's out of sight she's back to being lovely again! Clearly she knows he's here so why is she fine when she can't see him altho she must be able to smell him and knows fine well his camp is in the lounge!?

Tonight tho she really took the biscuit! I'd got into bed and switched the lights off. She did her usual came up to me for strokes and was all happy and purring then she head nudged me which again is usual except she tried to get me off my pillow by laying half on my head!! She has never done this as she aways sleeps by my feet for 8 yrs now! 
So I do not want her by my head as I don't trust her not to attack me in the night if I move suddenly but obviously I can't lift her off as she will attack my arms!!! Lol I mean look at that glare and outstretched paw!! 
Guess I'm pillowless tonight!


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## Cully (May 16, 2018)

popcornsmum said:


> So Popcorn is being Popcorn and does the occasional growl, hiss and swipe at Mittens when he approaches her but then runs away! As soon as he's out of sight she's back to being lovely again! Clearly she knows he's here so why is she fine when she can't see him altho she must be able to smell him and knows fine well his camp is in the lounge!?
> 
> Tonight tho she really took the biscuit! I'd got into bed and switched the lights off. She did her usual came up to me for strokes and was all happy and purring then she head nudged me which again is usual except she tried to get me off my pillow by laying half on my head!! She has never done this as she aways sleeps by my feet for 8 yrs now!
> So I do not want her by my head as I don't trust her not to attack me in the night if I move suddenly but obviously I can't lift her off as she will attack my arms!!! Lol I mean look at that glare and outstretched paw!!
> ...


Oh heavens! She's saying, "Go on. I dare you!"
What about you using another pillow and putting 'her pillow' by your feet?


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Cully said:


> Oh heavens! She's saying, "Go on. I dare you!"
> What about you using another pillow and putting 'her pillow' by your feet?


She is being a pickle! She eventually moved off but she's back on my pillow now!


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

Quick update: They are separate for most of the day still but Popcorn is doing fine, hisses at Mittens occasionally but not all the time and Mittens still wants to play with her! 
I don't know Mittens full background other than I suspect he was also from a BYB then someone brought him but was "allergic" to him (and didn't like Mittens boundless energy and friendliness) so he was taken to CP aged 14 weeks and we got him at 15.5 weeks. But I suspect Mittens may have been taken away from his mother too early or just not socialised as he does not get social cues like Popcorn hissing and he attacks our feet rather alot! He's so sweet but hates being held and will lay next to me only occasionally on my lap! I'm just worried he turns into another Popcorn!!!


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## Milo’s mum (Aug 23, 2019)

I am new to second cats….but am starting to have some observations.
When Milo was baby and only cat, he had to communicate with us and he learned his name.
We have our games and play chase. He chases us. We chase him.
He loves me as his mummy but he is not a lap cat. He does not like to be carried. He does not sleep in my bed- his choice.
Milo is a very intelligent cat - he is curious, naughty and explorer. He is constantly in mischief if he gets bored.
Now Luca - he pays no attention to us humans. He does not respond to any calling.
He does not seek human company.
He wakes up and looks for Milo.
Milo is his companion. His enemy. His playmate. His entire existence is Milo.
I am there to serve the food. Perhaps if I miss a meal he might notice me.
But Luca is more tolerant to cuddles. He occasionally would come to bed with us.
Mittens reacts in a similar way as a second kitten.
Then there is personality.


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## Guest (Oct 21, 2021)

@popcornsmum 
I wonder if Mittens is not picking up on Popcorns hints due to kitten energy and extreme desire to play. If he gets bopped a few times he may learn

One of our kittens used to attack feet but only feet in socks . To counter we used lots of redirecting with wand toys. 
Kicker toys are great for redirecting play as well.

How are things progressing now?


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

J. Dawson said:


> @popcornsmum
> I wonder if Mittens is not picking up on Popcorns hints due to kitten energy and extreme desire to play. If he gets bopped a few times he may learn
> 
> One of our kittens used to attack feet but only feet in socks . To counter we used lots of redirecting with wand toys.
> ...


I think you are correct and Mittens is being neutered in Nov so hopefully will calm down!
Well I'm away but OH is keeping them in check and during tonight's video call Mittens was running around the house and Popcorn was sat on the kitchen top looking less than amused! But that said she's never once gone for him since theyve been actually in the same rooms together just a swipe and hiss as a warning then he turns meerkat and goes on his back legs!. She defo hates humans more than other cats! Lol


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

My last update here because after 11 weeks of living with us things are nice and settled now between Popcorn and Mittens. 2 weeks on from neutering Mittens and he has totally calmed him down and Popcorn is back to her usual boopy self with us but leaves Mittens alone and totally tolerates him. We're very lucky in that we have enough space so each cat has their own high zones, play areas, litter trays and sleeping areas.
Popcorn knows she is still top cat and still sleeps with us and still wakes us for strokes at 3am so she clearly doesn't hate us for adopting Mittens!


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

What a wonderful update , I never doubted for a minute that you would all find a way to make this work.
Well done Popcorn and Mittens and more importantly well done to you and your OH for putting in all the hard work


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## popcornsmum (Jan 19, 2015)

buffie said:


> What a wonderful update , I never doubted for a minute that you would all find a way to make this work.
> Well done Popcorn and Mittens and more importantly well done to you and your OH for putting in all the hard work


Thank you so much Buffie for your kind words. It has definitely been a challenge keeping them separate for so long and doing slow introductions but it worked and I think Popcorn surprised us all by not being agressive to Mittens despite her attitude with us!! He's had his fair share of hisses, growls and swipes when he's tried to play with her tail:Hilarious but she's remarkably tolerant and now he is neutered he is much calmer which pleases Popcorn!! She will sleep on our bed during day (she's always done this!) and if he wanders up there she opens one eye but stays where she is and he just wanders about then comes back downstairs! It's all very calm!


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## pokimon (Dec 7, 2021)

popcornsmum said:


> Is there anyone who would like a challenge?! I am so desperate to be able to see what is going on with Madam Popcorn and how we can help her but I am at a loss as most cats are predictable and she is not!
> Yesterday she spent the entire day charging at me and spitting, then at 2am she jumped on me woke me up, meowed and wanted petting!? Then today she has been lovely again all purry and head bumping not one spit or charge!?! There is no pattern to her behaviour and I am at a loss at what to do!
> The other weird thing is tonight she sat on the bannister and after she launched herself at OH last night from there I was slightly wary BUT she tilted her head 90degrees and meowed like she wanted a stroke however her tail was wagging so I was not about to approach her! She did it again when I spoke to her and then jumped down and wandered off to my bed.
> I cannot read her at all as she flips in a split second so have no idea if I should have stroked her or if I was right to be wary!? But now I'm walking on eggshells as I just never know how she's going to be!!
> ...


What I usually do is to find out my cat's behaviour and engage in activities to distract/tire them out. Sometimes they may be a little too stress from being bored or doing the wrong activities. For example, my cat is an extrovert so toys and outdoor activities really help to keep her engaged in playtime. There are many personality quizzes out there for your cats but the most accurate and simple one I found is from catscollars(dot)com/cat-personality-quiz/


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