# Overwhelmed with guilt and grief



## hanabanana (Mar 6, 2021)

Ten days ago my beloved cat Moo Moo left the house. I could have never expected this as she was terrified of the outdoors and never went outside. I was always careful with doors etc but somehow she got out. I didn't know and went to bed. The next morning it was clear she was gone when she didn't come for food. I cancelled work and spent 9 hours searching for her that day on foot. I continued to search for 9 days, some days for an hour and some days for 4 or more. I had one or two days that I didn't search at all and now am so full of guilt. She was found dead ten days in by the bin. It turns out a neighbor had found her in there garden and put her there. I searched a 5 mile radius for days and in turns out she was petrified and hiding in a neighbors garden too afraid to come out. She must have suffered an agonising death of starvation. She was only two years old and terrified of everything. Even her own shadow. I am so annoyed with myself for not searching every single neighbors garden myself. Some neighbors said they would look and I went along with that. I should have insisted I do it, but I felt intrusive. One of my friends told me I didn't need to search her garden as she had dogs and I wouldn't find my cat there. They would. I said she might be hiding and she said there was no where to hide. With my lack of experience I took this as fact. In turns out Moo Moo was found in her dry garden, hidden away. the only garden on the street where no one looked for her. I am so full go grief for my beautiful cat who was so kind and loving and young and afraid. I am so full of guilt. I let her down and I let me daughter down - Moo Moo was her best friend. How can I ever forgive myself? In hindsight I should have listened to the research. I should have realized that an afraid cat would stay close. I should have gone through every garden with a fine tooth comb instead of searching miles away. I don't know how to forgive myself.


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

I am so very sorry for your loss. Sometimes things happen and we cannnot reverse it.
Please don't beat yourself up about it. You did all you could. You trusted your neighbours to look in their gardens etc and some didn't. It was not your fault.
I have had cats all my life and over the years have learn't a lot, but it is only because I too have felt guilty over some things that have happened. Having pets is a learning curve and over the years you get better. You pick up tips from other pet owners. 
You sound like a lovely person please try and remember the good times you had with Moo Moo.
I hope it will not put you off from having a new little one in your life some time. It also might help your Daughter too.
Take care and hope you will feel better soon x


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## hanabanana (Mar 6, 2021)

jill3 said:


> I am so very sorry for your loss. Sometimes things happen and we cannnot reverse it.
> Please don't beat yourself up about it. You did all you could. You trusted your neighbours to look in their gardens etc and some didn't. It was not your fault.
> I have had cats all my life and over the years have learn't a lot, but it is only because I too have felt guilty over some things that have happened. Having pets is a learning curve and over the years you get better. You pick up tips from other pet owners.
> You sound like a lovely person please try and remember the good times you had with Moo Moo.
> ...


Thank you so much for your kind reply. It really helped.


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## [email protected] (Jan 14, 2017)

apologies, posted incorrectly


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