# Still struggling with the loss and devastated beyond words



## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Lucy my wonderful Persian cat passed away 25th October 2016 whilst undergoing a procedure and we were due to collect her when she suddenly died in recovery at the vets. A day has not gone by since losing Lucy that I have not sat and cried and cried. I am finding it difficult to believe I will never see her beautiful furry face again. We had been together for just over 13 years and my heart is breaking. This forum has been fantastic and I have received so many wonderful comments and advice. She has now returned to her favourite place by the fire in a beautiful wooden casket and I light a candle for her every night. R.I.P. Lucy, I will love you forever sweetheart.


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

They never leave you xxx


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## Sophie17 (Feb 16, 2015)

It is so hard to adjust to this new "normal". I'm so sorry, hope you find comfort.


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## JerryRosie2014 (Aug 31, 2016)

I'm so sorry to read this, it sounds like you are feeling exactly like me  it's been 6 days and I'm still crying although today I've been able to eat! I have his ashes in a cat shaped urn and I have placed them on his favourite blanket on top of the leather beanbag cube that he loved and placed his photograph there, it's like a grave and people will think I'm bonkers but I don't care! I talk to him and cry and keep watching videos of him which is silly as it makes my heart break more ;-( he was only 2 and I should have had years more with him , I hope you're ok I'm always around to talk as I know exactly how you feel xxxxxx


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Thank you for your lovely reply and its a comfort to know I'm not alone and also not the silly lady who cant cope. I too have watched videos of Lucy which is probably the worst thing I could do really. I constantly rush around the house looking for a photo I have lost of her or screaming how do we download videos to keep safe, I have been driving my husband mad. I feel so silly for being so upset but I cant help it and I still cant talk about her without crying buckets. I actually have had someone say to me well she was just a cat get over it!! Hope your feeling a little better. I think I have also just sent a message to you earlier? Thanks again, people say life goes on but its so hard to deal with the pain isn't it. x


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## JerryRosie2014 (Aug 31, 2016)

sue m said:


> Thank you for your lovely reply and its a comfort to know I'm not alone and also not the silly lady who cant cope. I too have watched videos of Lucy which is probably the worst thing I could do really. I constantly rush around the house looking for a photo I have lost of her or screaming how do we download videos to keep safe, I have been driving my husband mad. I feel so silly for being so upset but I cant help it and I still cant talk about her without crying buckets. I actually have had someone say to me well she was just a cat get over it!! Hope your feeling a little better. I think I have also just sent a message to you earlier? Thanks again, people say life goes on but its so hard to deal with the pain isn't it. x


Oh she's lovely!! ❤ I'm the same with the videos! I'm terrified I'll
Lose them if my phone breaks! Do you have Facebook? I'm currently uploading them all to a Facebook album and I've set it so only I can see it so nobody things I'm barmy! I just want them all duplicated just in case xxx


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## JerryRosie2014 (Aug 31, 2016)

JerryRosie2014 said:


> Oh she's lovely!! ❤ I'm the same with the videos! I'm terrified I'll
> Lose them if my phone breaks! Do you have Facebook? I'm currently uploading them all to a Facebook album and I've set it so only I can see it so nobody things I'm barmy! I just want them all duplicated just in case xxx


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Hi, I am so useless with tech stuff, and I'm only in my 50's, so no Facebook I'm afraid. I must get into the 21st century. I tried to download some photos of Lucy on to dvd, they seemed to burn but are not there, or seems they are no there. Don't play on tv or computer. I also had to drag and drop every photo, must be a simple way to do that. I must learn maybe keep me busy so I can stop crying.


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## JerryRosie2014 (Aug 31, 2016)

I have no idea how to burn them to a disc either I have been thinking of doing the same, have someone who can help or someone you could send them to? I sent a few to my mum xx


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

Sending hugs to both of you. 

Just a suggestion, but have you thought about getting the photos printed and in a lovely album or scrapbook? When I lost my first dog, I found it really comforting to do this, and also reassured me that I wouldn't lose her photos. I know some people can't cope with photos after their pet dies, but as you are both wanting to look at them now, I wondered if this might help?

I hope the pain eases a little soon and you are able to enjoy remembering the good times. xxx


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Thank you, yes that actually was the first thing I have done made a photo album. Unfortunately though I think my family think I am going mad as I carry it with me when we meet up. Even as far as I got the vets report and have put that in there as well. A scrap book also sounds like a great idea so thank you I will put one together. Lovely comments, thank you they help. x


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

If it gives you comfort, then it doesn't matter what they think. I slept with my dog's collar under my pillow for weeks! 

Maybe a memory bead would help? Memories in glass can infuse ones with either your pets ashes, fur or bits of bedding etc. I have ones for all my furries, including Bonnie, who is still with me.


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## Jackie C (Feb 16, 2016)

It's so hard, Sue. 
I lost my beloved Betty on Tuesday, and I'm heartbroken. They are part of our family, and we grieve for them like they are a part of the family. (TBH, I am grieving for Betty _more_ than I would for certain members of my human family, but that's another story). You wouldn't expect to get over a close family member quickly, so don't expect to get over your beloved Lucy quickly, either.

I have my favourite photo of Betty on my phone, so whenever I pick my phone up, I look at her. She's also my background photo on my laptop. I've ordered a large multi-picture frame for her, and have ordered photos of her. 
You can get lots of things online. I have also ordered a mug with her wee face on and two key rings!



sue m said:


> Hi, I am so useless with tech stuff, and I'm only in my 50's, so no Facebook I'm afraid. I must get into the 21st century. I tried to download some photos of Lucy on to dvd, they seemed to burn but are not there, or seems they are no there. Don't play on tv or computer. I also had to drag and drop every photo, must be a simple way to do that. I must learn maybe keep me busy so I can stop crying.


Do you have a sympathetic friend or family member who can do it for you? I know how to do it, but I can't explain it without being in front of your computer.

I am sorry for your loss x


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Jackie C said:


> It's so hard, Sue.
> I lost my beloved Betty on Tuesday, and I'm heartbroken. They are part of our family, and we grieve for them like they are a part of the family. (TBH, I am grieving for Betty _more_ than I would for certain members of my human family, but that's another story). You wouldn't expect to get over a close family member quickly, so don't expect to get over your beloved Lucy quickly, either.
> 
> I have my favourite photo of Betty on my phone, so whenever I pick my phone up, I look at her. She's also my background photo on my laptop. I've ordered a large multi-picture frame for her, and have ordered photos of her.
> ...


Thank you so much. Sorry to hear you lost Betty and I completely understand what you mean about family members, I too have a few, the last time I felt like this was when I was 15 and lost my mother very suddenly. It hurts when you cant say goodbye and that has now happened with little Lucy. I'm not sure many people are sympathetic these days. My closest friend hasn't even found a moment in the last five weeks to have a coffee, despite me crying down the phone. You certainly become aware who your friends are when you need them. I think I will look into getting a few things done of Lucy, on line if I'm brave! A cushion with Lucy did come to mind but of course she sat on the sofa with us so maybe a little difficult at the moment. I have a silver heart shaped box with her hair in it and the mug sounds great like you have of Betty arriving soon, although perhaps not at the moment. I cant even think or talk about Lucy without crying at the moment. I'm so sorry about Betty, is that a photo of her? What happened if you don't mind me asking. Again thank you for your kind words, they mean so much. x


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

I'm so sorry. I know it's hard. I lost one of my boys on the 16th November this year. He always slept on my pillow wrapped around my head like a hat. I'm having difficulty sleeping because I cannot feel him against my head anymore.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

This is my Jake. He was 15 and 7 months.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

sue m said:


> she was just a cat get over it


@sue m: My beautiful Gatsby had to be PTS (CKD) on 2 August aged six (if that) and I still wake most nights and talk to him as tho' he was under the duvet (his spot). And I can tell you, Sue, in all honesty, I have wept more tears for him that I did for either of my parents. I think this was maybe because I did not ''agree'' to have my parents PTS...also I was not living with them or close to them when they died. And TBH, I was not that close to them. Gatsby was my soul-mate, despite only having him for four years...we loved each other unconditionally from the moment he arrived from Romania, and I never saw Gatsby hiss or spit or scratch; not me or the other cats. In fact, the first thing he did when he arrived after a 72-hour journey from Romania was to jump up on to my shoulder (me, a total stranger) and head butt my left ear...about ten minutes later he ate the dinner I had put down for him. After that he was on my shoulder every single day. He is the one cat I will never forget as long as I live.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Sacremist said:


> This is my Jake.


He was a beautiful boy.


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## Char8607 (Dec 4, 2016)

I am so sorry to hear about Lucy. I know how you're feeling, one of my beautiful boys had to be PTS in the early hours of Friday morning. I've never felt pain like this so I do know what you're going through. God bless all our beautiful animals xx


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## Jackie C (Feb 16, 2016)

sue m said:


> Thank you so much. Sorry to hear you lost Betty and I completely understand what you mean about family members, I too have a few, the last time I felt like this was when I was 15 and lost my mother very suddenly. It hurts when you cant say goodbye and that has now happened with little Lucy. I'm not sure many people are sympathetic these days. My closest friend hasn't even found a moment in the last five weeks to have a coffee, despite me crying down the phone. You certainly become aware who your friends are when you need them. I think I will look into getting a few things done of Lucy, on line if I'm brave! A cushion with Lucy did come to mind but of course she sat on the sofa with us so maybe a little difficult at the moment. I have a silver heart shaped box with her hair in it and the mug sounds great like you have of Betty arriving soon, although perhaps not at the moment. I cant even think or talk about Lucy without crying at the moment. I'm so sorry about Betty, is that a photo of her? What happened if you don't mind me asking. Again thank you for your kind words, they mean so much. x


That is her in the photo, yes. To me, she was the most beautiful and prettiest cat I have ever seen. Her face was perfect.

She was only 11. We took her to the vets, as she was off her food and drooling and they found a large in-operable mass under her tongue. In the space of two weeks, she rapidly deteriorated. She went from being a happy, loving cat to being unhappy and weak. We'd only had her 10 months, as we rescued her from neglect. I know she died knowing she was loved.

Take comfort that Lucy passed away knowing that she was truly loved. I think they love us too. x

I am waiting for one of these with Betty's face on and a poem on the back. 
https://www.zazzle.co.uk/pet_memorial_keychain_prayer_on_back-256791335037278821


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## Jackie C (Feb 16, 2016)

Char8607 said:


> I am so sorry to hear about Lucy. I know how you're feeling, one of my beautiful boys had to be PTS in the early hours of Friday morning. I've never felt pain like this so I do know what you're going through. God bless all our beautiful animals xx


I'm so sorry. x Do you have a picture? x

Due to allergies, I've not "owned" a pet throughout my adult life, until Betty came to us when I was 41. When she died, I didn't think I could feel pain like it for an animal. I still go upstairs and wonder where she is for a second or two.


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## Char8607 (Dec 4, 2016)

This is our beautiful boy, can't even look at a picture without welling up.xx


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## Jackie C (Feb 16, 2016)

Char8607 said:


> View attachment 292345
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> 
> 
> This is our beautiful boy, can't even look at a picture without welling up.xx


Awww, he's SO handsome. Lovely and fluffy and he's a gorgeous colour. x So sorry he's gone.


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## Char8607 (Dec 4, 2016)

To


Jackie C said:


> Awww, he's SO handsome. Lovely and fluffy and he's a gorgeous colour. x So sorry he's gone.


Thank you I know I'm extremely biased but he was utterly gorgeous just a ball of fluff with fluffy ears and tufty paws. Breaks my heart that he's no longer here and looking back on recent photos he does look poorly but we just didn't see it.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Char8607 said:


> View attachment 292345
> View attachment 292347
> 
> 
> This is our beautiful boy, can't even look at a picture without welling up.xx


Gorgeous!


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

sue m said:


> Lucy my wonderful Persian cat passed away 25th October 2016 whilst undergoing a procedure and we were due to collect her when she suddenly died in recovery at the vets. A day has not gone by since losing Lucy that I have not sat and cried and cried. I am finding it difficult to believe I will never see her beautiful furry face again. We had been together for just over 13 years and my heart is breaking. This forum has been fantastic and I have received so many wonderful comments and advice. She has now returned to her favourite place by the fire in a beautiful wooden casket and I light a candle for her every night. R.I.P. Lucy, I will love you forever sweetheart.


Lucy is beautiful.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Jackie C said:


> the most beautiful and prettiest cat I have ever seen


Really pretty...the white bib is amazing. You must miss her enormously.(XX)


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Sacremist said:


> Lucy is beautiful.


Thank you so much, means the world. Lucy will be sadly missed forever. I have never felt pain like it and didn't think it was possible. Thank you. x


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Char8607 said:


> View attachment 292345
> View attachment 292347
> 
> 
> This is our beautiful boy, can't even look at a picture without welling up.xx


He truly is so beautiful. When Lucy passed away I rushed around trying to find every photo of her. When I now look at them, crying of course, I can see she was not well and we just couldn't see that. R.I.P. Cloud. Hopefully Cloud and Lucy are together at Rainbow bridge.


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Sacremist said:


> This is my Jake. He was 15 and 7 months.


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Oh my god, he is so beautiful, those eyes are amazing. Bless him. x


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Jackie C said:


> That is her in the photo, yes. To me, she was the most beautiful and prettiest cat I have ever seen. Her face was perfect.
> 
> She was only 11. We took her to the vets, as she was off her food and drooling and they found a large in-operable mass under her tongue. In the space of two weeks, she rapidly deteriorated. She went from being a happy, loving cat to being unhappy and weak. We'd only had her 10 months, as we rescued her from neglect. I know she died knowing she was loved.
> 
> ...


Betty was beautiful, how sad. Yes they know we love them to bits. x This was Lucy in happier times.


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Jackie C said:


> That is her in the photo, yes. To me, she was the most beautiful and prettiest cat I have ever seen. Her face was perfect.
> 
> She was only 11. We took her to the vets, as she was off her food and drooling and they found a large in-operable mass under her tongue. In the space of two weeks, she rapidly deteriorated. She went from being a happy, loving cat to being unhappy and weak. We'd only had her 10 months, as we rescued her from neglect. I know she died knowing she was loved.
> 
> ...


The chain looks like a fantastic idea.


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## sue m (Nov 3, 2016)

Calvine said:


> @sue m: My beautiful Gatsby had to be PTS (CKD) on 2 August aged six (if that) and I still wake most nights and talk to him as tho' he was under the duvet (his spot). And I can tell you, Sue, in all honesty, I have wept more tears for him that I did for either of my parents. I think this was maybe because I did not ''agree'' to have my parents PTS...also I was not living with them or close to them when they died. And TBH, I was not that close to them. Gatsby was my soul-mate, despite only having him for four years...we loved each other unconditionally from the moment he arrived from Romania, and I never saw Gatsby hiss or spit or scratch; not me or the other cats. In fact, the first thing he did when he arrived after a 72-hour journey from Romania was to jump up on to my shoulder (me, a total stranger) and head butt my left ear...about ten minutes later he ate the dinner I had put down for him. After that he was on my shoulder every single day. He is the one cat I will never forget as long as I live.


Oh he sounded so lovely, wonderful story. On your shoulder! That mad me laugh because Lucy would NEVER even be held at all, let alone sit on your shoulder. She was better when we collected her from the breeders at 4 months I think but then became all on her terms and was only a lap cat later on when she felt cold. Gatsby reminded me of Bob the Street Cat being on his shoulder. He sounds like a wonderful cat and I am so sorry for your loss. R.I.P. Gatsby x


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

sue m said:


> This was Lucy


So beautiful...you must miss her dreadfully. (XX)


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

sue m said:


> Oh my god, he is so beautiful, those eyes are amazing. Bless him. x


Thank you, he did have the prettiest eyes of any cat I have ever had.

The pain of losing a pet is pretty horrific. Caring for them creates a very strong bond of love.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

I've just received two beads for two of my deceased cats from memories in glass. They are beautiful. I need fourteen in total so can only buy two at a time when I've saved more money. I'm going to make them into a necklace with some silver separator beads in-between.


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## Jackie C (Feb 16, 2016)

sue m said:


> Betty was beautiful, how sad. Yes they know we love them to bits. x This was Lucy in happier times.
> View attachment 292675


Awww, she's stunning. x She's a big ball of gorgeous fluff!


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## Char8607 (Dec 4, 2016)

sue m said:


> He truly is so beautiful. When Lucy passed away I rushed around trying to find every photo of her. When I now look at them, crying of course, I can see she was not well and we just couldn't see that. R.I.P. Cloud. Hopefully Cloud and Lucy are together at Rainbow bridge.
> View attachment 292672


Oh what a beautiful girl. My brother has a Persian called Bruno and I know how very attached they become to their owners and how characterful and human like they are. Let's hope Cloud and Lucy along with all our other loved animals have found one another over the bridge and become beautiful fluffy friends.xx


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## Char8607 (Dec 4, 2016)

E


Sacremist said:


> This is my Jake. He was 15 and 7 months.


What a stunning boy xx


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

So sorry for your loss. All of you.
Dear OP, please if you can turn you pain into saving those that could be helped?
When my dog passed away and all family were really affected I went o the shelter to save the life I could save and took young injured dog that was to be put down.
We saved each other.

If you cannot maybe contact local shelters and ask how you can help?
Fostering maybe?


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