# advice please re daughter



## mstori (May 22, 2009)

Hi, 

i dont know much about horses at all apart from they are beautiful, fun and cost a lot :smilewinkgrin:

My daughter has been riding once a week since she was about 5 (with some time off inbetween) and jumping was introduced about 6 months ago. She is 9.

She has been to 3 riding schools and has recently returned to the one she started at as they have indoor and outdoor facilities.

Now we have an issue that the horse that she was confident on was sold. We can not afford her own and whist her dad has a car he works long hours, i dont drive so a horse loan/share would be out of the question.

How important is it that she has the same horse each week?

Obviously i think it would be, but I dont really know for sure. It cant be guaranteed that the same horse can be made available and this week she took a fall that really knocked her confidence.

We have been told from every school that she has natural talent has been put in groups with older riders with much more riding experience. we have even had strangers come up to her and my ex (who takes her) and have been shocked that she has had such little riding experience so we would really like her to continue as its something she is really passionate about.

When she is older we would look into a loan/share but basically can anyone offer any advice for the age she is at now? the stables have suggested she go down in holidays sometimes to which we will do.

To me 9 seems young to be jumping and thinking about it as more than just a "fun thing to do" but others have said thats about right? Im not from a horsey background so any advice would be appreciated thanks.


----------



## Elles (Aug 15, 2011)

It's not important that she has the same horse each week. It's important that any pony is a good match for her, but it doesn't need to be the same one.

If she's losing confidence, she doesn't necessarily need to be in a class with older, more experienced riders, even if she is talented. She doesn't need to be jumping. Some 9 year olds are quite confident and happy jumping small jumps, but not all.

If it's a good riding school, they will take into account that your daughter is losing confidence and match her with a safe, well schooled pony that is a confidence giver and not push her too hard, but rather encourage her to progress. She's pretty much guaranteed the odd fall, but it shouldn't be caused by pushing her too hard on an unsuitable pony.

What does your daughter say? Is she pleased to be back at the school with the good facilities, or did she prefer one of the other schools? Do you have any video of her riding?


----------



## mstori (May 22, 2009)

Elles said:


> It's not important that she has the same horse each week. It's important that any pony is a good match for her, but it doesn't need to be the same one.
> 
> If she's losing confidence, she doesn't necessarily need to be in a class with older, more experienced riders, even if she is talented. She doesn't need to be jumping. Some 9 year olds are quite confident and happy jumping small jumps, but not all.
> 
> ...


thanks, it seems it quickly went from fun to formal if that makes sense. She loves all the schools, but this fall on sunday really hurt her. She is lucky as she has only had 3 falls and this is her worst one. we have a little footage but its from ages ago, will try and find it, will be on laptop somewhere.

I think her dad needs to have a chat with them. We were lead to believe at one of them that it needed to be the same horse and this place said it didnt matter so was conflicting advice and when you do not know you wonder if they just say what will make them the more money. At this place the main benefit was the class can be run regardless of weather where the other one if it was bad weather they could only go on a hack (?)

thanks for replying.


----------



## Elles (Aug 15, 2011)

I seriously wouldn't worry too much about her riding different ponies. It will stand her in good stead when you come to buying her one, as she'll have experience of different types and sizes of ponies. I teach people who own their own horses and often if they come to me because they have lost confidence with their horse, I'll send them off to a school to ride other horses and learn to have fun again. 

If your daughter prefers one of the other schools though, I also wouldn't worry about her having a lesson each week. Hacking can be good fun and let her practice without pressure. If she does ride the same pony each week, it shouldn't be a problem either, though for my own children I would prefer if they could get to ride a few different ponies, when they had their own, that was the only one they rode. 

The main thing is that your daughter is happy, enjoying her riding and that she's riding safe, well schooled ponies in a safe environment, whether that is out hacking, or in a school and that the instructor is capable, adores children as well as horses and is trustworthy and considerate. Is the school BHS and/or ABRS approved?

What happened for her to fall? How did they treat her afterwards? Did they have an accident book? How badly was she hurt? Does she wear a back protector when she's jumping? I'll presume she has a well-fitting hard hat, any school would be very foolish to allow anyone, let alone a child ride without.


----------



## mstori (May 22, 2009)

that puts my mind at rest thanks and makes sense. It would seem better that she has lots of experience with different tepmprements. She was very lucky on the fall as the horse seemed to know and slowed down, was calm and lowered her neck so that she slid down. It was just the height and the way she landed. She has bad legs anyway and hurt her back and legs. She swore she wasnt going back, but i doubt that will last!

Just checked the website and I cant see if it is bhs or abrs approved but will check. We loved the last one, but one day at saddle club we found out there had been an incident when the kids had had no adult supervision which could have been very severe. then although we didnt leave her alone again we noticed a few more things.

Her dad takes her and she does have her own body protection (like Harry Hall Zeus Body Protector - Childs do you mean?) i hope she was wearing it! and her own hat so they fit her correctly.

couldnt find any footage on laptop will have to ask her dad or brother (the kids are at his til next week) only thing i has was her fourth ever lesson! the rest were all pics.. such a difference, was lovely looking back though


----------



## Elles (Aug 15, 2011)

> was lovely looking back though


 You reminded me of some pics I have of my daughter in the field with two of my horses. When my daughter was young and still thought mum was perfect. lol

yes to the body protector.


----------



## mstori (May 22, 2009)

beautiful pics.. the second is exactly lookswise what my daughter wants!

heres a couple of codie, my daughter. the white pony she was about 5/6 going through to now, her being 9..sorry they are so big lol my lappi was refusing to let me use the other options.


----------



## Elles (Aug 15, 2011)

Love the first pic, with all the pink and the girl running alongside who seems to be really concentrating on your daughter. :001_tt1:

Picture 2 looks like a naughty welshie x pony, but your daughter looks very happy.

Picture 3 the pony is a bit wide for her, she seems to be concentrating hard and the pony looks quiet.

Picture 5 is the same pony as picture 3.

Picture 6 is a jump that didn't go quite right.  The pony is taller, but looks a better shape/type for your daughter. I would have liked to see the pony with a neck strap and jumping a little neater, maybe he's not very old, but I like that pony.

The final picture, looks like a quality pony who is probably a bit quick and could be strong. The pony has an ill-fitting martingale and a dutch gag snaffle and your daughter has safety stirrups. I would expect your daughter to be riding ponies of about this size and type, or a little shorter, at riding schools and for her to like this pony, though she could be a little over-horsed on him, it depends on how confident she is and how well behaved he is. He's probably not one of the ponies all the kids get to ride.

Are my guesses right?


----------



## mstori (May 22, 2009)

haha how did u get that from a few pics! spot on!

picture 2 was one of her favourites, he was very naughty but she eventually learnt how to get him under control and was sad when he was sold. 

Cant remember which one but one of them would only do things for her. was sold because he was no good for teaching. wish we had been able to buy him as they were really well suited. Everyone commented.

the one u said was a jump gone wrong was infact taken just before she fell.. we were so annoyed we werent recording because she landed on her feet!  

the last one was the pony she fell of at the weekend and is one of the "good ones" which is why they can not guarantee she will always be available. They arent very good pics. Her posture etc arent good on them but the best ones are on my proper lappi.


----------



## Elles (Aug 15, 2011)

> the last one was the pony she fell of at the weekend


Ah. It does sound as though the riding school may have over-horsed her with this pony. Easily done if you have a kid in your class who seems talented and only so many ponies to choose from.

If your daughter has fallen a couple of times before and not been worried about it, but has had a real knock to her confidence this time, I would really talk to her about it. If she appears to be less than 100% confident and happy about going back, I would listen to her. She may be better going back a step or two and having fun with a confidence giving pony for a while, rather than riding one of the 'best' ponies in a jumping class. 

Let me know how she gets on?


----------



## jessegee (Mar 21, 2011)

I am in my forties now, but I remember when was a child I outgrew my pony and went up to a horse at a young age, I missed the simple fun and activities that " grown ups " dont do 

Before I owned my pony, I most enjoyed the stables where I could muck in and look after them in exchange for 1 hours ride a week
Every day I came back exhausted , filthy and overwhelmingly happy!

jessegee


----------

