# Molly and Candy: not good news



## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Hi, all,

Okay, after taking lots of conflicting advice (crating v. allowing cats to sort out their own pecking order) we decided to let Candy and Molly (our rescues) do things nature's way and have gradually been allowing the two of them to mix, to the point where Molly is in the house during the day. I will say up front that part of this is due to my continued health problem as I don't have a great deal of enery for anything other than getting better. 

At first this was quite successful; Candy would stalk Molly, Molly would do her hiss and swipe with maybe a bit of yowling, Candy would get fed up, they'd go off and ignore each other. I've even posted some up-beat messages about it.

But yesterday and especially today things have deteriorated. Molly is now getting very confident and is going for Candy when Candy isn't expecting it. In addition they are fighting (and I mean fighting) when the children are around and there have been a few near misses with the kids getting caught up in it even though they know to keep out of the way (e.g. panic-stickien Candy jumping up with claws out to where dd2 was sitting). Then this evening Candy was eating and Molly had finished (they are fed in separate rooms) and Molly tried to attack Candy whilst she was eating, then went for my OH when he shooed her away (ears back, yowling, swiping).

It is getting to the stage now where we do not feel it is safe for the cats to be around together with the children around - not made easier by the fact this is half term - and we've also noticed that Candy is starting to show signs of feeling nervous which she hasn't before.

OH says that he is happy to carry on with both cats but neither cat seems happy and neither are we. I know that taking on rescues isn't a picnic but the fighting is escalating, not receding, and it is horrible for the children too.

If Molly - or Candy - goes back I will feel forever guilty that I haven't been able to make this work. At the same time I've been told my recovery is months away and this is making me more tired and more stressed than I need to be. 

And (being blunt) I am worried that all you lovely people will judge me as not being sufficient enough a cat lover to make this work. :frown:


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## Kiwi (Nov 18, 2010)

Don't you worry about what folk on PF are thinking because I am sure that most of us will be more worried about you and your health than that you don't care or haven't done enough to help these cats get along. Is there anything more we can do to help with advice? Have you thought about getting the help from a cat behaviourist? If you really have reached the end of the line, then getting one (or both) of them rehomed may be the best way forward for them and for you. Don't feel bad about it hun, maybe Molly and Candy would never get on happily and are better apart. It happens. Hope you feel better soon xx


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## Guest (Feb 22, 2011)

Not only that - but I think one of the worst thing a pet owner can do is keep hold of an animal through guilt if you know it's not happy. I honestly think you're being super brave and responsible hen 

Em
xx


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Thank you, both of you, I can hardly see the screen for crying. 

If it were just my health that was the issue we'd keep going. But I genuinely think these cats are never going to get on and I'm not sure that they are even going to reach the stage where they will just ignore each other. 

I'm so gutted, and my little boy will be beside himself as he loves Molly the best - he even bought himself a little B&W kitten cuddly today because it looked like her. :frown:

But they have fought all day today. :frown:


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## honeysmummy (Oct 17, 2010)

troublecat said:


> Thank you, both of you, I can hardly see the screen for crying.
> 
> If it were just my health that was the issue we'd keep going. But I genuinely think these cats are never going to get on and I'm not sure that they are even going to reach the stage where they will just ignore each other.
> 
> ...


I feel like crying for you ...what a horrible position to be in ...sending you a big hug....you have tried and i do agree..it would be more selfish to keep the cats if they continually stressed each other out

you also have your health and children to think about..really sorry troublecat ... do what you have to do xx


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## Kiwi (Nov 18, 2010)

So do you think you might keep Molly then and just rehome Candy? If you can keep one, cats have been noted to have a tremendously positive effect in terms of healing. Whatever you decide, we are all with you. And no need for tears when you are doing the right thing eh? x


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## GeordieBabe (Apr 7, 2009)

so sorry they didn't work out hun, you did everything you could for them, im sure if one of them goes back they will get another good home, just make sure you tell the rescue no good with other cats, so the same mistake can't happen
don't beat yourself up over it hun you tried your best


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Thank you, everyone, your support is really helping me right now. 

Kiwi, the worst part is that it would be Molly that we would have to let go. She's far more difficult to handle (we've never been able to pick her up) and also is the one who has shown genuine aggression towards OH. But it took her a long time to find a home with us and she's the typical kind of cat who gets left on the shelf - apparently timid (she isn't, but seems that way at the shelter), 7 yrs old, black and white. I think she's gorgeous but she's not conventionally pretty. I feel so guilty about everything - I insisted on getting Molly when really the signs weren't good. I just felt so sorry for her. :frown:

At the time our local RSPCA was being bombarded with people looking for cats and if I'd left her maybe she'd have found her forever home. My only consolation is that I can see from their website that they are still homing cats at a rate of knots so hopefully she wouldn't be there for too long. :frown:

There were times when I was very sick that Candy came to lay with me and her presence did make a huge difference.

Geordiebabe, at least I hope that what we've learned from having Molly will help her to get a good home this time. She is very affectionate and doesn't show her best side when she meets people at the shelter, but she def. isn't keen on OH which makes me wonder if there has been a man in her life who was unkind. And definitely she wants to be on her own!

Em and Honeysmummy, thank you, I don't feel very brave but I do think it'd be the best for both cats. I just had to tell my little boy which wasn't easy. :frown:

I think it is still possible given what we've learned about her since having her and also her body language that Candy is trying to play with Molly when she keeps stalking and pouncing, although I'm not 100% sure. She's a very active cat who likes to play and we think we might look into getting a male kitten as a playmate once I'm feeling better. But that is for the future.

Thank you all again, I really appreciate your support.


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

OK, so far I've not seen anything to suggest you've tried my advice on previous threads to the extent it needs for success  

You know it's fine by me if you want to give up after trying the easy route with it not working out ... But it would be such a shame for you all, especially the cats.


Throwing cats together and letting them get on with it works with most kittens, and most good tempered cats if you're lucky. You had neither, so that's why I gave you the advice on trying slow introductions from scratch. I appreciate it might seem like hard work, but really it's not. The rewards of success would very much make it worth while. You can't give up on it after a few days admitting defeat because that's really not trying it to the extent it needs for success.

Something else too. Cats scrap, to the point they make each other squeal sometimes. Also unless you are incredibly lucky to get a cat that has forgotten it's got claws then you get scratched now and then. It's all perfectly normal! If they are both still eating and drinking they can't be that unhappy 

The only reason I'm saying this the way I am is because you're clearly upset about this. I'm trying to get you to see it really doesn't have to be this way if you really want to make it work. What's a couple of months work compared to years and years of companionship for you and your children? I appreciate that some cats will never get on no matter what you try, but honestly I don't think you've tried everything just yet.


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

Sorry you feel things aren't working out but I agree with Aurelia, introductions between any animals take time & patience. It may seem like you have been trying for a while but this can take months but as you have made improvements so far there is no reason why you won't continue to.

I have been lucky when introducing cats, I have had two in the past that tolerated each other & the two I have now get on very well but they still have fights - most animals will have squabbles & they usually sound alot worse than they actually are.

We recently rehomed a second dog who has been alot more hard work & the cats have taken alot longer to get used to her. With our first dog everyone was fine within days but we were incredibly lucky. But things don't always go as planned with animals & you have to accept that there will be set backs - it's normal.

despite my two cats getting on I have to seperate them whilst they are eating (have done for years!) as Basil is so greedy he will bully Winnie away form her bowl - I have to either keep him out of the room or literally stand gurard over her. Maybe keep both cats in different rooms until they have finished eating so there are no problems.

The cats have had massive changes to their lifestyle & will take time to adapt, I think it's unrealistic to expect things to go smoothly so quickly.


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Aurelia, I know that you have our best interests at heart. We have feliway and we have done the scent swapping thing. We haven't tried crating for a variety of reasons. One, Molly is very hard to handle so it would mean only Candy gets put in the crate each time (well, actually it'd be a pet carrier). Two, I've been getting two very distinct lines of advice, both on here and from a professional behaviourist who was helping me for free as a favour (unfortunately she can't come and help in person as she's in the US). One line is to let nature take its course, the other is the crating method. The first didn't seem like the 'easy' option, but the most natural option - maybe that was wrong. :frown: Third, my recovery isn't going as well as I'd hoped  and when I saw the GP on Friday he told me to expect it to be the summer before I am back to anything like my usual strength, and that maybe in a month or so I will be feeling a little better than I do now. So this isn't going to be down to me to sort, but my OH, and although he is happy to do whatever I want him to, I feel this is difficult for him. I'm supposed to be in bed most of the time and maybe making a cup of tea, not a lot else. 

I accept that we will get the odd scratch, I can remember having some monsters from my very lovely moggy I had as a child, usually because I'd pushed my luck. But yesterday was just so horrible. My OH knows how attached I am to Molly and has said that he is happy to keep going for my sake. :frown: Whatever choice I make I feel it is wrong and I am so very tired.

I know what the rewards are in these things; our last cat was a semi-feral who had never been handled; it took a lot of love and patience but he became the perfect pampered lap cat and getting a relationship with him was one of the most satisfying things that I have done.

Cleo, I hear you. I know it is a massive change for them. :frown:

I'm going to give it all a break today and see how things look later on.


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## catsmum (Feb 4, 2011)

if you cant crate them you could always use doors as barriers and keep them in seperate but adjoining rooms but it would be best to get a behaviourist in to guide you through this whole process. normally thats one home visit lasting 2 or 3 hours and maybe another follow up home visit the next week then a phone consultation once a week or if needed more home visits. They deal with these problems daily and really know what they are doing. Everything your saying sounds perfectly normal and expected, I am sure it could be sorted out with a little guidance from a behaviorist.


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Catsmum, I have found a behaviourist that isn't too far from us, it will cost about £200-£250 to consult her inc. travel expenses which we could afford at a pinch. When you say separate them using doors do you mean just shutting them in different rooms? When the door to Molly's room is shut and I am in there Candy waits outside for the chance to leap in and ambush her but otherwise she pretty much ignores it. 

One thing I've been mulling over is what truly is in the cats' best interests. Let's assume that I do spend months working so that the cats reach the stage where they ignore each other and stop the constant fighting. I may be able to enjoy the companionship of both and they may be happy so long as they keep out of each other's way. But is that really kinder than allowing Molly to find a loving home where she will be the only cat, and Candy the chance to get a young playmate?


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## Dally Banjo (Oct 22, 2009)

So sorry things are'nt working out  it must be very hard for you all. Some cats just like being loners. We are very very lucky that our pensioners tolerate Tango, & Louie when he was a kitten, but Simba has always been used to a multi cat household & the other 3 pensioners are all the same age & used to it to but I would never try & bring in an adult cat as much as I would love to help the ones in the rescue I think it would cause major problems & we could end up with alot of very unhappy cats  I do feel guilty when I see the poster at the vets of all the lovely cats in the rescue but all our cats were from rescues :thumbup: except the MC's I do think that they would be ok with older cats in the future when the pensioners have gone to the bridge but hopefully that is along time off yet 

Sending you all huge hugs & realy hope they settle down together but if not you have to do whats best for them & yourselfs x


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

I am so sorry that things are not improving for you, this must all be very difficult. For me...the key fact here is your illness, it must be incredibly hard for you trying to deal with the cats whilst just feeling lousy all the time.
I hope you are able to come to some conclusion soon.
xx


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Thank you, Dally. It wasn't until after I got Candy and Molly that I read up on this and realised that multi-cat households aren't natural ways for cats to live. That doesn't mean it can't be overcome, but I can see how some cats are just happier on their own. We know nothing about Molly's old life, except that someone cared enough about her to make a note of her birthday. :frown:

Candy had a companion but she was already homed separately due to an error at the centre. Her buddy was another young cat and I reckon they must have played together a lot, they certainly looked happy together in their little pen - but the other cat was already promised to someone else.


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

I'm not sure if you know but I'm disabled. I live my life more or less how you are being poorly now. I do push myself to do more, but it often means I get sick for a while and I end up laid up good and proper. So I can completely empathise there.

Try the crate/carrier thing. I understand that initially you would rather try the 'natural way' who wouldn't. But what I was trying to say is that giving up when the natural way doesn't work is not trying everything you can. It's not cruel to try the crating method. It's not like they will be spending long periods of time like that. Also it shouldn't be too stressful for either of them, because if there are signs that it is, that is when you end the session. Eventually the session would lengthen up to about 30 mins or eve push to an hour. The signs you get that it's working is the wanderer approaching the carrier and neither cat hissing or spitting. It then gets better from there.

It's not much work to do this when you think about it. It literally takes a few minutes to pop one cat in the crate and let the other one in to wander around then separate them afterwards. If you change the bedding around, that too only takes a few minutes.

As for whether any of it's fair if it works out the way you described ... Well you won't know until you try!


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Aurelia, no I didn't know. I am frustrated beyond belief at the moment so I can only imagine how it must be for you. Thank you for being so kind when really I'm just having a big whinge. I've also been very scared by this even though I'm through the worst and now just need to rest and recuperate <wuss emoticon>. What I find really frustrating is that this situation probably would never have got this far had I been well when the cats came home. 

I really don't see that we will be able to crate Molly - at best she squirms and at worst she hisses when we try to pick her up. It'd only be Candy - would that matter? <hopes that we don't need to get Molly to the vet any time soon...> Also I suspect that if Candy were in a carrier Molly will just wander off - she's not remotely interested in Candy unless she's in her face - whereas Candy would definitely investigate if Molly were in one.

Paddypaws, thank you, crossed posts. I think the problem I have is that the situation with the cats makes me sad which isn't great for feeling better. But maybe I just need to get on with life and stop feeling sorry for myself.


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## catsmum (Feb 4, 2011)

you can crate cats by feeding them only in the crate


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## Kiwi (Nov 18, 2010)

Sorry to but it but if you have a good pair of fire gloves, they should work a treat in picking Molly up to put in her crate. It sounds like she is just not used to being handled. I also had to use a grooming mit on Sweetie (an ex-barn cat) until she got used to being touched/stroked. Spraying the gloves and mit helps too. x


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Catsmum, thank you, we have carriers, not crates. Don't know if that is big enough?

Kiwiw, thank you for your concern. I don't think we have any decent gloves around at the moment - reminds me of a rabbit that we had once, OH had to pick her up wearing heavy duty builder's gloves!  Molly is quite happy to be stroked and actually pushes your hand and likes a hard stroke down the length of her back; as soon as you put a hand under her to pick her up though there is trouble. :eek6:


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Molly and Candy just ended up together again (not by design) and I watched to see if I could get any clues as to what is ahppeneing. Except for yesterday with the food Molly is trying to avoid confrontation, I am certain of that, but whenever Candy gets close she hisses and swipes, ears flat.

It's Candy that I can't figure out. Molly just sloped off quietly and Candy was happy lying on a cushion (or so I thought) but Candy left her cosy bed and pursued her around the sofa. Molly then left the room so Candy followed her again. 

Candy's ears are up and her coat is flat when she does this. Her tail swishes but nothing like I've seen her do when she's spotted an alien cat in the garden. Sometimes she'll go up to sniff Molly but a lot of the time she'll stalk and pounce.

I'd find it helpful to get clear as to whether Candy sees herself in a battle for dominance or if she's actually trying to get Molly to play and hasn't yet learned that Molly is just not interested.

Can anyone help?


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## Kiwi (Nov 18, 2010)

Sounds like an attempt to play to me but you need someone more experienced to help with that. I do think that rubbing them down with each others' scent might help - especially a piece of bedding or a cloth which has been thoroughly rubbed around the other's neck. I can't remember if you've tried a feliway diffuser but it might help Molly to relax and Candy to calm down. They might also benefit from some Zylkene for a few days. Sorry if this is repeating earlier posts but I have to dash in a minute. x


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Hi, Kiwi, thank you, we've got the feliway spray and I've been doing the scent rubbing thing.

I keep thinking it's play but then she's relentless in going back for more which made me think it was aggression. Or is she just very, very slow on the up-take???? 

The vet did say she had some meds they could take last time I was in there but she said they were new to the market and she wasn't sure how effective they'd be. 

Maybe I'm too airy fairy in my views of animal thinking but I do have serious doubts about imposing my ideal (i.e. these two cats living together) when one clearly wants to be on her own and the other quite possibly wants a playmate.  Maybe this is in neither cat's interest.

Or I could possibly be talking cobblers, it has been known. <sigh>


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## Kiwi (Nov 18, 2010)

Not cobblers but everything seems an uphill task when you aren't well  
Trying to stop a young cat from playing is nigh on impossible and it has nothing to do with being thick. Molly needs some peace too tho.
I think it is really important to try Aurelia's suggestion about the crating. It would only be temporary but might help a lot. Also, to separate their food bowls and move them closer together over time.


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

Also the feliway spray is only a temporary thing. You'd have much more success with plugins that can be left on all the time hun.


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## Dally Banjo (Oct 22, 2009)

I would get the plug in one they are much better for the house :thumbup: I use the spray in the carrier when they have to go to the vets


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

The reason I bought the spray is because a) one flashpoint area doesn't have a socket near by b) according to the website you can't use them under furniture and the socket in the cat room is under my desk and c) I'd read about the possible fire risk and felt a bit . But I freely admit that c) is probably me being being a wuss.

The other thing I read on Feliway's own site is that you need to clear it with your GP if you have asthma so I'd need to check with my GP too just to be on the safe side as I have to be careful about what I am breathing in.  I've only used the spray in small doses so far and got OH to squirt it!

Kiwi, I didn't mean to imply that Candy's thick, but when I spoke to the RSPCA about it they said that if Candy was being playful Molly would give her a good telling off and pretty soon she'd get the message. Well, Molly is giving Candy a good telling off and Candy is till going back for more, and more, and more - it's relentless! I've tried distracting Candy by playing with her and giving both cats treats but to no avail.

They are fed separately, Molly in her cat room and Candy in the kitchen, but the other night Candy had slept through tea time and Molly happened to wander out of the cat room just as Candy was getting a late meal so she thought she'd muscle in. In future we'll know to keep doors closed until all the food has gone - Molly has a huge appetite!


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

MY husband has asthma (cronic) it doesn't effect him at all, and he sleeps in the same room where the downstairs one is plugged in.

Also I think the fire risk is only if you let it run dry, like all plug ins you get ... you know the stinky ones we buy to make our homes smell nice :lol:

If you want to try it and it doesn't work out I'm sure someone on PF will buy it off you when theirs is due for a refill.

You only need one upstairs and down stairs, you can plug them in anywhere, it doesn't have to be the main room where the kitties are. It takes a couple of weeks for the effects to take hold in more than the room it's plugged in, but it does drift nicely I believe.


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

That's useful to know, Aurelia, thank you. :thumbup:

I think the stinky plug-ins are one of the reasons that psychologically I struggle with the idea. :arf: :lol:

Good idea about flogging it if it doesn't work! :thumbup:

So would it be best to get one for the cat room and one for the living area, or do I need one for each room?


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

One for upstairs and one for downstairs is fine, plug them in where ever, so long as it's not in a confined space the feliway goodness should drift.


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

I have been reading this thread but have avoided commenting as I have no experience of cat intro's.I have ,however used the services of a pet behaviourist,two infact.The first one came to the house and spent over an hour just observing how Meeko reacted to situations and just generally "behaved" in his own environment,then she explained at length ,her findings and how I should approach his rehab.He had/has aggressive behaviour problems.I found her help invaluable,You can be given all the tips,ideas,ect but it is only when the behaviour is seen by those who understand it that the correct advice can be structured.Feliway diffuser,felifriend ,rescue remedy and a great deal of determination to succeed is required.I had no choice but to make this work,I felt with a kitten ,if I couldnt sort out his problems, I could not pass him on to someone else.It is not an overnight thing I started this 9months ago and although things are much better we still have a way to go.If you do decide to use a behaviourist ,and I do think it is your best option,ask for recommendations
from your vet.There are a lot of "pet behaviourist's "out there but there are not too many good ones.


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Thank you, Buffie, rather stupidly I hadn't even considered that the PB I found on the net might not be any good! 

I will ring my vet tomorrow for recommendations.


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## koekemakranka (Aug 2, 2010)

I used a behaviourist for my two cats. The advice, although seemingly simple, worked wonders. Do bear in mind that the cats may never become best friends and sometimes the best you can hope for is mutual tolerance (as it has turned out in my case).
I am sorry if I am asking you to repeat yourself, but how long was the newer cat "isolated" in a seperate room before they were allowed to mingle freely? I kept my new cat in the spare bedroom for three weeks before giving her the run of the house. During that time I switched their blankies and toys daily so that they could get used to one another's scents, brushed them both with the same brush and after the first week, allowed the new cat a daily investigation of the entire house (while the old cat got to sniff around "her room). I found that they were quite intrigued enough by the smells, sounds but no visible danger and so when they finally met face-to-face, they didn't seem to take it badly at all. Of course there were fights after that, but not nearly as bad as those you have described (and my female is actually quite an aggressive cat).

Did you try that?


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Hi, Koek,

This is one of the most frustrating things - both cats are new and came from the rescue centre at the sam etime. They weren't together at the centre but had been socialised for an hour or so daily for a week and were getting on 'like a house on fire'. We followed the RSPCA advice to have them *together* in a 'cat room' and they seemed happy enough for the first week-2 wks. I can't say for certain when the problem started as it was during this period that I ended up in hospital but Candy started to (I think) try and play with Molly, which is when Molly got all hissy and that is when we separated them. I was really unwell at the time and I wonder now if we'd kept them together whether they would just have sorted it out - they were certainly okay for the first few days.

Molly is very confident in the house and is certainly not scared of people. Candy just doesn't get the message that Molly doesn't want to play. We have done scent swapping and grooming, it's probably only crating and feliway plug-ins I haven't tried yet.

I'm still struggling with this idea that I am imposing my will on them by trying to get them to live together when it isn't really in their best interests.


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## Jansheff (Jan 31, 2011)

troublecat said:


> I'm still struggling with this idea that I am imposing my will on them by trying to get them to live together when it isn't really in their best interests.


I've got two teenagers and often feel like this!  It's an ongoing battle.

I really hope it works out for you.


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Jansheff said:


> I've got two teenagers and often feel like this!  It's an ongoing battle.
> 
> I really hope it works out for you.


I've got 3 kids with 4 yrs between the oldest and youngest - boy am I going to be in for some fun! 

Thank you for your good wishes, I am sure it will work itself out in the end.


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## fuzzymum (Nov 29, 2010)

hey you, just catching up on things here! soooooo....

when you say serious fight what do you mean? it sounds to me as if Candy is trying to be playful. How does she react when Molly tells her off?

Its hard work, but trust me, it will be so worth it in the end. It can be confusing getting alot of different advice, but most of it is valid. All of the options given to you are worth exploring, none of them are the "wrong" thing to do - and hey, if it works for your girls then who cares what anybody thinks about it?! Try everything!

And please don't feel like you are being cruel, or a bad owner or anything of the such. The fact that you have asked for advice, are open to opinions and are still giving them a chance proves to me that you care deeply about the cats. From what I've heard i think you are a wonderful person so stop putting yourself down!

Keep at it, be strong  xx


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Hi, Fuzzymum,

I think you are probably right in that Candy is trying to be playful, except taht everything I've been told is that after a couple of tellings off from Molly she'll get the message - which she isn't! The fighting is hissing,yowling and growling, Molly has her ears flat, pouncing, swiping and scratching. I can't say for sure about biting. Candy will back off and looks scared but then go back for more, quite often several times in a short time period. 

Aww, very kind of you to say I'm wonderful - I'm not, well not any more than anyone else!  I don't think I'm being cruel, so much as wondering if it is misguided to keep on trying to force these particular two cats to get to the stage where they will ignore each other when Molly would be happier on her own and Candy clearly needs a companion. Candy bothers us throughout the night and I've tried getting up to see if she needs anything and all the signs are that she just wants someone to be up and about with her - in fact if she keeps waking OH up at night it'll be Candy looking for a new home, not Molly!  I don't think Molly will ever give her the companionship Candy needs. 

Anyway, the current plan is to go back to the beginning - I'm not doing anything now until the Feliway has arrived. I'm still doing the scent swapping and spending a lot of time with Molly each day. I couldn't speak to anyone at the vet this week so will try again on Monday. I think that part of the problem this week was that I got very, very tired (it was my little girls' birthday) and when I get tired it all seems so much more overwhelming.

Thanks again, Fuzzy, for all your help, and everyone else. It seems to me there are lots of wonderful people on this forum! :thumbup:


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

fuzzymum said:


> hey you, just catching up on things here! soooooo....
> 
> when you say serious fight what do you mean? it sounds to me as if Candy is trying to be playful. How does she react when Molly tells her off?
> 
> ...


It is good to see that you are encouraging T.C to carry on ,but,while I agree with you, I have to disagree with ,try this,try that,well ok try something else, all this is doing is confusing the cats.You have to find out what the root of the problem is and address *that*.This is not a *one size fits all* situation,the only way to fix this situation now is to find the correct approach and stick with it,changing methods will just make things worse.Please get the help of a reputable behaviourist and take it from there.


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

That's a good point, Buffie. At the moment Molly is happy in her cat room and Candy is in the house things are relatively peaceful until I get to talk to someone. 

The cats probably are confused - I know I am! :eek6: I'm going round in circles in my head as to what is best for them


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## fuzzymum (Nov 29, 2010)

I was thinking in my head that i needed to say give each method time....forgot to type. if you see the other threads patience and time have been my main advice! sorry about that, was tired  just meant that before she gives up, she needs to try everything....

definitely a behaviourist is the way to go! although i'm not entirely convinced that Candy needs a playmate - she's still settling and i think that when you eventually let her out to play in the big wide world, she will bother you less at night.

any wise words from the RSPCA yet? xx


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## troublecat (Feb 1, 2011)

Hi, Fuzzy,

Sorry to hear you're tired - you have my sympathies on that one!

My reasoning for Candy needing companionship is a) she seems to be relentless in trying to get Molly to play with her; b) she pesters us like mad to get up with her but doesn't actually seem to want anything than someone being downstairs with her and c) she had a companion before with whom she looked quite chummy (they slept curled up together, something I don't ever see her doing with Molly. :frown

Although Molly doesn't like being picked up she's big on people and is really affectionate. I think I have bonded much better with Molly although I know it is early days. I guess Molly is the type of cat that I really like! 

As for the RSPCA, I can't get any answer on the phone - I might try again today but I know they get manically busy at the weekend. 

The children will be back at school on Monday which will make things abit easier. 

TC xx


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