# I'm going to have to rehome my rats :-(



## polishrose

I'm gutted but have no choice. I may also need to rehome some hamsters.i don't want to say too much on a public forum but social services are involved. The rats and my ex's dog are what they picked on the most. There are other reasons obviously but not something I want to discuss on here. I'm so upset and don't know what else to do. I've been chatting to bernie so she knows all the details. I'm just gutted.


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## Lavenderb

Have you been given a time limit to rehome them? How many in total? Not a nice situation to be in but you sometimes have to make decisions like that and I'm sure Bernie will help you too.


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## polishrose

2 weeks I've been given to rehome the rats and the other dog. She said possibly some hamsters too but she'll assess that when she comes back in 2 weeks. Life's crap right now. I'm a total failure.


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## Bloodraine5252

Where are you?

Could fostering help until your back on your feet?

So sorry to hear about this, my heart goes out to you xxx


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## Lavenderb

polishrose said:


> 2 weeks I've been given to rehome the rats and the other dog. She said possibly some hamsters too but she'll assess that when she comes back in 2 weeks. Life's crap right now. I'm a total failure.


You're not a failure. Life throws troubles your way sometimes and you have to prioritise. I've had to rehome some of my pets due to circumstances and illness. People can judge but noone knows how you feel. Where do you live? so that anyone willing to help can arrange transport.


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## polishrose

Bloodraine5252 said:


> Where are you?
> 
> Could fostering help until your back on your feet?
> 
> So sorry to hear about this, my heart goes out to you xxx


It will definitely help in the short term. I don't know how long it would be for though. I don't know how long social workers are going to be involved for. I've never had any dealings with them before.


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## polishrose

Bloodraine5252 said:


> Where are you?
> 
> Could fostering help until your back on your feet?
> 
> So sorry to hear about this, my heart goes out to you xxx





Lavenderb said:


> You're not a failure. Life throws troubles your way sometimes and you have to prioritise. I've had to rehome some of my pets due to circumstances and illness. People can judge but noone knows how you feel. Where do you live? so that anyone willing to help can arrange transport.


I am a failure. I can't do anything right. I can't even keep the house tidy. I'm rubbish. I'm in cheltenham. I can drive 30 miles or so but can't do longer distances due to health. I feel terrible right now.


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## Bloodraine5252

polishrose said:


> It will definitely help in the short term. I don't know how long it would be for though. I don't know how long social workers are going to be involved for. I've never had any dealings with them before.


Have you posted this on the rat forum? If your not a member would you like me to post on there for you?

How many do you currently have?

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! Things happen in life that are not in your control. Please don't think your useless


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## halfeatenapple

Polish stop. You are not a failure. Some **** things happen, some things out of our control, some things in our control. Either way you are human and mistakes are made/ bad things come at us. Failure would be giving up. Don't give up.

I hope your boys find a home soon x Keep smiling. xxxx


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## polishrose

No I haven't posted there. Bernie is willing to foster them for me but is 168 miles away so I would have to get some help with transport. I can't drive that far. I feel so bad for having to do this. I hate myself.


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## Bloodraine5252

I wish I could help but I'm a bit far away to be of any use. I really hope you can get something sorted. If you want me to post on FR let me know.

I've got everything crossed for you. I don't know your situation or know you that well but can tell you care so much. Xx


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## Lavenderb

polishrose said:


> I am a failure. I can't do anything right. I can't even keep the house tidy. I'm rubbish. I'm in cheltenham. I can drive 30 miles or so but can't do longer distances due to health. I feel terrible right now.


I've had involvement from social services through no fault of my own so I can understand how you feel. As soon as they can see your situation is fine they will step back and leave you alone. This is just a blip, you will overcome. The rats will be found a good home.


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## polishrose

Thank you both. It means a lot to me. I feel very alone right now.


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## Bloodraine5252

polishrose said:


> Thank you both. It means a lot to me. I feel very alone right now.


If you ever want to talk to someone who is not involved drop me a pm, I might not be able to offer advice but I never mind listening to people and sometimes it can help xx


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## halfeatenapple

polishrose said:


> I am a failure. I can't do anything right. I can't even keep the house tidy. I'm rubbish. I'm in cheltenham. I can drive 30 miles or so but can't do longer distances due to health. I feel terrible right now.


If being unable to keep the house tidy makes you a failure than I am too. I understand that you feel terrible, believe me, but the rats will be found a good home, you can take as ling as you need sorting yourself/life out and then when you are ready you can have rats again. This isn't the end of the world. It is a crap time.

Repeat after me: 'This too shall pass'

I honestly do understand. I don't want to go into detail on here but after my ex left me and my baby son a few years ago... well I fell apart (biggest understatement), but four years on finally things are going well. It will pass. It took something happening for me to try sort things out and get on with the things I couldn't change. Maybe this is that time for you.

This too shall pass x

Hugs x


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## polishrose

Thank you both. I'm not really up to talking right now but I might pm
You both later today.


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## niki87

Hun you have my number...feel free to text at any time...or ring if you want...will definitely be able to talk from about 8pm.

Please don't despair. You are a wonderful lady who has lovely kids...and from what I saw...a really special bond with them. And I have been to your house...there was nothing wring with it and the rats and mice (as these are the only ones I saw) were kept in spectacular conditions!! I would make the point they can't force you to rehome...but I know you won't want to rock the boat with them.

I might be able to help...though I might be looking at the trains...as we are not going that way. I can certainly foster and possibly rehome (with me if they get on with my boys) the rats if we can sort out transport.


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## Maltey

Oh polish rose I'm so sorry 
I could foster some or help with transport or both. I'm about an hour from Bernie I think but I'm heading that way in a few weeks anyhow- if they can be brought closer this way I can definitely get them to Bernie.


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## polishrose

Niki thank you. I've struggled for a few months now with things. You came when I was in a good patch but yes now she's been round I can see how bad it's got. I'll write more later when I feel up to it. Right now I'm sorting clothes. The mountains of them. Things have got on top of me and I only have 2 weeks to sort it out.


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## polishrose

Maltey thank you transport would be very helpful especially as time is so tight


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## LittlePaws AnimalRescue

I'm really sorry to hear what's happening polishrose 

I am in the same kinda area as Niki and Bernie and have a couple of spare cages (a barney and an Alaska) if you need any hamsters fostered or rehomed and you need to let some animals go this way.

*hugs* to you.


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## Maltey

Just let me know how I can help


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## blade100

Oh no hun im so sorry to hear this.
I'm around 80 miles away from you but if you want me to foster your boys for you I'd do that.


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## polishrose

Thank you all so much. I am so grateful to have such good friends here. I will be here after work this evening to organise things. Zosia is so upset about the rats. She's the one who is most attached to them, all the rodents in fact. She's not taking it well at all. :-(


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## fatrat

I'm so sorry to hear that... I wish there were something I could do to help, but I've got no room 

Hope you're ok xx


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## Eriya

I'm so sorry this is happening  I would offer to help but live too far. Hope everything works out for you and your pets!


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## polishrose

Thank you all. I'm shattered. I have 2 huge bags of clothes ready to give away. Next load being sorted and I still have to go to work


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## Laura123

Oh honey what a horrible position to be in. The worst bit is over, deciding that the tidy up needs done and that the animals have to go for a bit. Just keep reminding yourself and the kids it's just till you get organized. As you sort and organize just keep reminding yourself that the sooner it's done the sooner they will be back. Take it a bit at a time. Sit down and write a plan of action.( I also have kids and the clutter and mess does overwhelm you at times). When I have been successful I have sat down and written down step by step what I am going to do. As you work you start to tick off the list so get a sense of how far you have come and a sense of accomplishment. You'll get there. Don't beat yourself up you are trying your best. You should keep posting as you work. 3 bags is a great start. Hugs XXX


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## polishrose

Laura thank you. I'm exhausted now and about to head off to work. Taking one of my daughters with me as I won't manage it in my own. I'm going to take those clothes to the shop first thing tomorrow. I don't think I'll manage to do it all in 2 weeks though. It's very overwhelming.


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## Bloodraine5252

polishrose said:


> Thank you all. I'm shattered. I have 2 huge bags of clothes ready to give away. Next load being sorted and I still have to go to work


If your struggling for money can you not take this close to one of those clothes banks? They take soft toys and stuff too...It won't be loads but everything helps


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## polishrose

Bloodraine5252 said:


> If your struggling for money can you not take this close to one of those clothes banks? They take soft toys and stuff too...It won't be loads but everything helps


Yes that's where I take them.


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## HazelandDan

PR i'm so sorry to hear your situation. As everyone else has said, try not to despair and worry yourself too much, it's only temporary. 

As I mentioned in another post, we're in Leeds but come down to cheltenham area quite often, next time is 7th June, so if you need any help with transport or a temporary foster home while you get everything back under control we're more than happy to help.

I'm not entirely sure where bernie and others are, but we have our own car and are happy to drive distance, so would be happy to help out in any way we can, just let us know! Hope work is taking your mind off things a little. Thinking of you and your family xxx


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## simplysardonic

Oh hun so sorry things are tough right now, I'm the wrong side of Bernie to offer any transport help.

I don't know if it's any help but I'm heading to South Wales in late July once school breaks up, if you still need to get the ratties to Bernie's I can detour & pick them up on the homeward journey.

Keep your chin up, you'll get through this & if you need to talk my PM box is open xx


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## niki87

HazelandDan said:


> PR i'm so sorry to hear your situation. As everyone else has said, try not to despair and worry yourself too much, it's only temporary.
> 
> As I mentioned in another post, we're in Leeds but come down to cheltenham area quite often, next time is 7th June, so if you need any help with transport or a temporary foster home while you get everything back under control we're more than happy to help.
> 
> I'm not entirely sure where bernie and others are, but we have our own car and are happy to drive distance, so would be happy to help out in any way we can, just let us know! Hope work is taking your mind off things a little. Thinking of you and your family xxx


And we pass through Leeds when we go up North...will be going up the weekend of the 8th and two weeks after that!! So we can transport down...I can travel to Bernie's as we are not far from her too.


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## HazelandDan

niki87 said:


> And we pass through Leeds when we go up North...will be going up the weekend of the 8th and two weeks after that!! So we can transport down...I can travel to Bernie's as we are not far from her too.


It sounds like this could all be relatively straight forward to arrange if you need us PR!


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## polishrose

You're all wonderful. I'm so grateful to be on this forum. I appreciate your offers of help so much. I'm not thinking straight right now. Just got back from work and can barely keep my eyes open. I'll write tomorrow. It's been such a stressful day today. Made worse because it was unexpected. :-(


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## LittlePaws AnimalRescue

I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight PR and that you wake up tomorrow feeling a little better. Not easy in your situation I know. x


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## ForestWomble

I am very sorry to hear what is going on for you right now.

I can't offer any help as I live in completely the wrong direction, but it looks like you have plenty of offers anyway 

Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and I hope that everything works out right in the end. 

And please don't beat yourself up over this, bad things happen unfortunately (I should know, I've had a lot of problems and a history of having to deal with social services) but things do sort themselves out in the end. 

Take Care.


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## Laura123

Hoping things seem better today. Listen, don't think " I can't do this!!". Think I have my plan. If S.W. come back and they can see that you have a plan of action and have made a good start even thought you're working and have the kids. It is difficult but you can do it.Even show them your plan and what you have ticked off as done. How did you get on today ?


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## polishrose

I've cleared my bedroom of clothes that needed ironing/sorting.All I need to do in there is hoover which I will do in a bit.There was a huge pile-about 10 baskets full. I have more bags to take to the cash for clothes place.I'm going to do some more ironing tonight as there are 2 baskets in the corridor.There's loads more to wash in the bathroom though.I bought hoover bags as my last one split yesterday.The kitchen is a state. I don't even know where to start with that.I have to move 2 hamsters from there too.They're in mini dunas.No space in my bedroom.No space anywhere really so am wondering where to put them.


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## halfeatenapple

When I get into this kind of state I sod the ironing... there is just too much... so I fold and put away... that in itself will take out a few of the crinkles but mostly it gives you breathing space and you can quickly iron the things that desperately need it as and when you want to use it.


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## halfeatenapple

As far as the kitchen goes... Bin. Bin bin bin bin bin. Buy some paper plates to use while you sort things so you are not adding to the mess... (I have done this)

Set a timer (microwave timer?) for fifteen mins... and do some flinging or whatever for that time... then move on to something else... be ruthless x

I have hoarding tendencies but recently I have managed to break that and realise I cope better the less there is in the house to deal with. Get rid get rid. bin bin... No it's not great for the environment but when we're in this kind of state (and I really really do know!!) then you have to sod the living green thing and be ruthless. I wish I could come and help x


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## polishrose

It won't all fit into wardrobes if it's not ironed.I don't have enough wardrobe space-all the kids are sharing one between 2 and a chest of drawers between 2 and it's not really enough.Can't afford more furniture though.


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## newfiesmum

polishrose said:


> It won't all fit into wardrobes if it's not ironed.I don't have enough wardrobe space-all the kids are sharing one between 2 and a chest of drawers between 2 and it's not really enough.Can't afford more furniture though.


What about some of those vacuum bags? You can get loads in there and they squash almost flat.


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## halfeatenapple

If you cant fit it in the wardrobe you prob have too much? Other wise you need neat piles in a corner somewhere... but you gotta fold it obv... 

Remember you cant put stuff away if there is no where to put it so if you have to empty cupboards into a box/bag and then put back what actually goes there and hold the rest of the stuff to go where it should go... do that. Always ask yourself 'do I really need this?' answer quickly and don't linger on things x


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## Laura123

halfeatenapple said:


> When I get into this kind of state I sod the ironing... there is just too much... so I fold and put away... that in itself will take out a few of the crinkles but mostly it gives you breathing space and you can quickly iron the things that desperately need it as and when you want to use it.


I would agree. I always iron as I go now as the kids stuff usually needed iron again by the time they had rummaged aabout to get something specific out. If you get some money from the bags you might want to think about usuing it to get some bags done by the laundry. My friends washing mahine broke adn she said it cost £20 for two big bags and the clothes came back folded and ready to be put away. You sound as if you're doing great. Did you make a list and tick it off ? I'm telling you it's very satisfying as you tick them off


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## polishrose

If it was a wardrobe for one child I would agree with you but as they're sharing they really don't have enough space and there's no attic here to put things in.I am being quite ruthless now though and anything stained/ripped/too small is going, as is stuff they don't like/don't wear at least once a month.I've got my eye on a few chests of drawers on ebay going cheap...that would help


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## halfeatenapple

Once a month?!?!?!?! 

My son only has enough clothes for about 9 days!!! Max!!!

You can be far more ruthless than that.. the less you have to wash the more often you are forced to do it as well! x


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## Maltey

If only you were closer- I'd definitely come help with chucking, ironing, cleaning, folding etc. (it's much more fun than doing my own!)
The launderette idea is pretty good- like Laura said when we didn't have a washing machine we took stuff to the launderette and it was £9 to get it washed, dried and it came back folded ready to go away. The bag was huuuuge too. I actually debated whether to buy a washing machine after that!
It might seem like money going to waste but it would help a lot mentally to feel like that's another weight you don't have to worry about.
I'm another that doesn't iron- most of the wrinkles come out as they dry then it goes away and if it needs ironing when it comes to wearing it I do it then. 
How about some of those plastic drawers? You can cram loads in there (ask me how I know  ) and they're much cheaper than wooden ones. 
Vacuum bags are a good call too (ask me how I know about that too!) Do you have any family that could store some stuff for you?


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## loubyfrog

So sorry you're going through a rough patch PR. 

Just a thought but are you on facebook,My town has a freecycle page on there and people post things they no longer need but are in too good of condition to throw away....maybe your town/area has one too.Theres always someone giving away storage,wardrobes,drawers etc.

If you type in "free" and your area in the search box something may come up.

Hope this helps you a little and that your back on track very soon.xx


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## polishrose

I'm useless at decluttering-always have been.I'm already on freecycle but seem to miss out on a lot.I have had some good things off there though. We just have too much stuff here.


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## sully

Im so sorry you are having to go through this. I hate social services at the best of times although havent had any dealings with them apart from normal stuff in army wife life 37years ago. I wish i could help you sort stuff too! x


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## Maltey

Hey PR I might have some practical help but not sure if it's going to be quick enough. I'm going to a show in Sussex 23rd June. There are some people going to the show from Wiltshire- if you can get them to Wiltshire they can take them to the show where I can collect them and get them to Niki if Niki can get them to Bernie?
Not sure if the end of June is going to be out of time though?


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## GingerJasper

Hi PR your on the right track, look at what you have acheived so far. Your already decluttering, also have been on here to ask for help and your getting some great advise. I buy those vacum bags and put all those thick jumpers etc in them. I also have hoarding tendancies and know that its very very hard to start as all you can see is a mountain of stuff and moving it from one place to the other isn't really doing anything but the closer those piles get to the door the closer they are to being gone. 

Try looking in the next country on freecycle and hopefully you'll get a bargain there. Already suggested but if a friend or neighbour has some room in a shed or garage that you can store stuff that will help. I also dont have experience with social services but in a negative way they have given you the jolt that you may have needed.

Take this negative and turn it into a positive. Good luck and sending you lots of positive decluttering vibes and big hugs


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## polishrose

I think end of June is going to be too late. I need to get some of those vacuum bags. I'm going to do that today. I have got 2 more huge bags ready to take to the shop. I have hoovered the living room and straightened the rug. Taken the dog beds outside to air. Done more washing and it's out on the line and another load is on. Planning to sort out the kitchen today well at least make a start on it. I am gathering all ex's clothes together in 1 huge bags and he is picking those up after work at 4 pm. The bathroom downstairs is fine. After that its the top floor and loads of rubbish that I need to take to the tip. I also need to make that partition for the gerbils so I can have them in one cage not 2.


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## Bloodraine5252

You're doing really well 

As has been suggested, what about this plastic chest of drawers to store some stuff. I think asda do the small ones and pound stretcher do bigger ones. Decent price too and wouldn't look out if place with kids stuff in them.

Do you have any space for under bed storage? Any kinds of baskets would work.

I find stuff looks tidier if its in boxes and the boxes are arranged neatly so even if there's a few boxes it looks neater than piles of stuff if you know what I mean?

Keep up the progress, you should be proud of yourself right now


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## Laura123

By the sounds of things honey your doing really well. Remember that you may have room under the beds that you could use to put your storage bags. We have a Home Bargins shop that had the underbed sorage bags and the vacuum bags for a few pounds. Next time you sit for a cuppa write down everything you have accomplished already. I'm serious, it really helps to see how far you've come and and give a sense of achievement. You can do this as halfeatenapple said, BE RUTHLESS. If it hasn't been used for a couple of months chuck it. Sending big hugs and ruthless energy vibes XXX


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## polishrose

They're all divan beds so no space underneath. Some have drawers so that's where blankets are kept. There's a plastic drawer set on eBay finishing in a few hours. It's only 99p at the moment. I'm going to to buy some more storage boxes with lids today too. I use them already for the animal stuff. I'm so tired today. I couldn't sleep yesterday.


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## Maltey

PR would you like me to put a transport request up on FR?
I feel like we can't help you with the in-house stuff but at least we might be able to take the weight of the animals off your mind. But please tell me if you'd rather I stopped interfering!!


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## polishrose

Yes please do. It's one less thing to think about. I can't seem to think 
Straight at the moment. I've got some storage boxes now and took the clothes to the shop. Made £13.27. Getting ready to go upstairs and carry on sorting things out. I need a friend with OCD or something to come help me. I'm really annoyed with myself actually. It's such nice weather today and we're stuck here instead of being able to go out and enjoy the sunshine.


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## Colette

So sorry to hear you're going through this 

I really wish I could help; but I'm too far away and have no space for more furries. If I was closer I would have loved to help with the clearing - I'm the queen of de-cluttering lol.

On the plus side it's looking good so far - you seem to be doing really well and have people on here supporting you. You can do it! 

One of my favourite poems (which I was given by my mum when I had life crap happening)

When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When care is dragging you down a bit
Rest if you must but don't you quit!
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint on the clouds of doubts
You never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!


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## sully

polishrose said:


> They're all divan beds so no space underneath. Some have drawers so that's where blankets are kept. There's a plastic drawer set on eBay finishing in a few hours. It's only 99p at the moment. I'm going to to buy some more storage boxes with lids today too. I use them already for the animal stuff. I'm so tired today. I couldn't sleep yesterday.


Divan beds are usually just material stapled to a wooden base, if you undo the very bottom plasticky base material underneith and lift the bed up you should be able to put some of the storage bags inside the hollow base , also poundland did do vacuum storage bags for a quid each?


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## Laura123

How are things going Honey???


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## blade100

Yes how's things going hun?


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## polishrose

I'd be feeling better if I was sleeping better I think.2 hours really isn't enough.


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## halfeatenapple

How's things going PR? x


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## polishrose

so-so...I have made progress with the house but I have a nasty cold today which means I can barely breathe so can't do anything other than really easy stuff.I can't bare the thought of the rats going  It's all arranged,I just have to find someone to help me put the cage in the car as it's too big and heavy to do alone and the kids are at their dad's this weekend.Zosia and I have had lots of extra cuddles with them.She's so upset.They are the friendliest, most easy to handle rodents we have.I'm just feeling depressed-we've done so much over the past week and yet there's still so much to do.I need to buy more boxes today for storage.The kitchen is still a mess-can't seem to get to grips with it.


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## blade100

Who's having your ratties Hun? Is it bernie?


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## polishrose

Yes eventually. First Jenna then sharon then niki then on to bernie.


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## kodakkuki

well at least they are going to a home as awesome as you were.
do *not * let this all get on top of you- it's not worth it... i had a clear out (of my new flat) last week- the place is still a tip from it but i ended up sitting on the floor crying at the mess... needless to say that didn't help in the slightest.
look after yourself hun; i'm sure with where they are heading the ratties won't hold it against you! X


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## blade100

They will have a fantastic home with bernie! And you'll get plenty of updates I'm sure.


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## polishrose

blade100 said:


> They will have a fantastic home with bernie! And you'll get plenty of updates I'm sure.


I know...I'm still struggling with it though.


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## blade100

Of course hun but to know there going to a fab home must be a load off your mind. Not the outcome you want though.

You never know you maybe able to have them back at some point?

Have you sorted out a home for your dogs?


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## polishrose

No I'm having trouble with that.Milly is allowed to stay as she was really well behaved and also mine.Inka is the one they want gone as she's my ex's.Trouble is he won't take her but won't let me rehome her either.He doesn't get it.


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## blade100

Oh Hun, very sorry.
Could you get in touch with gsd rescue?
They have assers/volunteers that come out to you and find the best home for each dog and there needs.
They either go to a fosterer or stay in your home till they find a perm home.

I own and adore gsds, as you can see from my sig pic.


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## polishrose

Would you like inka?  She's lovely. I just can't cope with her right now and social wants her gone too.


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## blade100

Aww bless, unfortunately blade isn't keen on dogs in his house he gets grumpy.
However he's fine in the garden and on walks with other dogs.
My mums 3 border collies are his special bitches and their allowed in he says.

Do you have a pic of inka?


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## polishrose

Yep here you go


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## kodakkuki

she looks like such a sweetheart. if i had space (or this was a years time) i'd be swimming over to take her home! have you been in touch with breed rescue? i'm sure they'd have a fantastic family waiting to snap her up!


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## sully

She is a beautiful dog!


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## polishrose

She is lovely but has soooo much energy-she's only a year old so I know it's a few more years till she calms down.


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## sully

Wow, shes only a baby, im only used to chihuahuas so a big difference in size, mine were about the size of Inka's head!


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## polishrose

I saw some chihuahuas yesterday in the pet shop(I was buying food for the dogs and was most impressed to find they stock orijen and canagan) and they have longer legs than I imagined


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## sully

polishrose said:


> I saw some chihuahuas yesterday in the pet shop(I was buying food for the dogs and was most impressed to find they stock orijen and canagan) and they have longer legs than I imagined


Thats very unusual to find them in a petshop as they are a bit more specialised than a normal pup due to having molera like a baby


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## blade100

Oh my god!!!!!!!!! 
She's stunning, I think if you were nearer I'd be tempted to try her with blade and see how they got on.
Is she from a breeder? She looks like a good example of the breed.


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## polishrose

She is rather gorgeous.She's actually from Poland.If she didn't bark so much and chew so much and pull so much on the lead she'd be much easier to cope with.


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## blade100

Oh bless she's just got lots of energy to burn off.
She is def a beauty.
I'd seriously get in Touch with gsd rescue though as they find and vet any homes suitable for inka.


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## polishrose

sully said:


> Thats very unusual to find them in a petshop as they are a bit more specialised than a normal pup due to having molera like a baby


Nooo I meant someone came in with some chihuahuas to the pet shop-they don't sell puppies there.


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## polishrose

blade100 said:


> Oh bless she's just got lots of energy to burn off.
> She is def a beauty.
> I'd seriously get in Touch with gsd rescue though as they find and vet any homes suitable for inka.


Trouble is my ex is threatening me if I rehome her.Not sure where I stand legally on this.


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## Guest

You could explain the situation to Social Services (they are human) explain that he has you over a barrel regarding ownership and there may be a way they can force his hand in a way that they won't be hard on you.

Legally she's his dog but you have possession, so he either has to take her, or relinquish ownership to you so you can begin to sort something out for her. Terrible shame, feel very sorry for you.


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## polishrose

JeanGenie said:


> You could explain the situation to Social Services* (they are human)* explain that he has you over a barrel regarding ownership and there may be a way they can force his hand in a way that they won't be hard on you.
> 
> Legally she's his dog but you have possession, so he either has to take her, or relinquish ownership to you so you can begin to sort something out for her. Terrible shame, feel very sorry for you.


I'm not convinced.The lady who came was most unpleasant and made me feel like a cockroach or something


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## blade100

Sorry to ask and tell me to mind my own business but why do you have to rehome your pets?what reasons do they have?
Can you ex not have her back?


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## Guest

polishrose said:


> I'm not convinced.The lady who came was most unpleasant and made me feel like a cockroach or something


Can you not request a different social worker? Surely if she made you feel so bad, you shouldn't have to 'work' with her.

They should be there to help and support you, not cast judgements, or belittle you


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## polishrose

Basically my ex and I had a row and police were involved and they automatically inform social so they came to visit and decided the house was too cluttered and there were too many pets so told me I need to rehome his dog and the rats and possibly some hamsters too.He won't take her back as he's homeless and can't take her to work with him-he's a lorry driver.I'd be happy to keep her if I didn't already have a dog and if my health was a bit better.I can't believe they're making all this fuss about a messy house.I don't know what they expected to see?A spotless house with 6 kids?Not really likely is it?I've been in hospital 3 times since we moved here and been unable to do much for a few months due to recovering from 2 operations.I also work part time in the evenings.There's kids getting beaten up and starved and they're worried about a messy house?She told me it was the worst house she'd ever seen-I was tempted to ask her if drug users have nice clean houses then, or alcoholics who are drunk all the time.But I'm not going to risk my kids being taken away so I'm doing what they said and rehoming some of the pets


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## Guest

polishrose said:


> Basically my ex and I had a row and police were involved and they automatically inform social so they came to visit and decided the house was too cluttered and there were too many pets so told me I need to rehome his dog and the rats and possibly some hamsters too.He won't take her back as he's homeless and can't take her to work with him-he's a lorry driver.I'd be happy to keep her if I didn't already have a dog and if my health was a bit better.I can't believe they're making all this fuss about a messy house.I don't know what they expected to see?A spotless house with 6 kids?Not really likely is it?I've been in hospital 3 times since we moved here and been unable to do much for a few months due to recovering from 2 operations.I also work part time in the evenings.There's kids getting beaten up and starved and they're worried about a messy house?She told me it was the worst house she'd ever seen-I was tempted to ask her if drug users have nice clean houses then, or alcoholics who are drunk all the time.But I'm not going to risk my kids being taken away so I'm doing what they said and rehoming some of the pets


If you clear the house, I don't think they can forcibly make you rehome your pets, I suppose it's more to do with what they think you can manage, sensibly

Sounds to me the social worker has a problem with your animals, they should always remain professional, have you asked her the reason why you must rehome your animals even if you clear your house? If you can't get answers, speak to her supervisor, don't ever be afraid to question them.

Clean and tidy mean different things to different people, SS cannot just storm in and take your children away, it really does take a lot to get to that stage and they have to have a pretty good reason to get things to that stage. For SS to get involved over the state of someones home it literally has to be bad, really bad, by that I mean the absolute pits, basically hazardous to the children, I'm not talking a few dirty dishes and a big pile of washing.

You've obviously been given chance to put things right? Which has prompted the clean up, so I really can't work out why you need to let go of some of your animals Sounds as if you've just been very unlucky to have been given a caseworker that is power mad who has stormed in with threats to take your children if you don't do as she says

Horrid, horrid situation, you have my every sympathy, you are entitled to seek legal advice on all the points you raised, you also need someone on your side prepared to fight your corner, so I'd seek some. Best of luck with everything and don't allow yourself to be bullied with veiled threats, or backed into a corner by anyone.


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## newfiesmum

I think this is disgusting, quite frankly. I would say this creature thinks that rats are not fit for pets, and she is taking the GSD reputation to heart. And she is power crazed.


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## polishrose

Thank you.I've done a fair bit-it's mostly clothes and books and boxes not yet unpacked-and things like the hoover that has no home as there's no cupboard under the stairs etc.I'm trying to be ruthless when I declutter too. I've got a horrible cold since yesterday and can barely breathe as my nose is totally blocked and I keep coughing so haven't done much except 3 loads of washing.


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## halfeatenapple

I disagree with some of this. If SS sees a house unfit for children living in this does become their concern. All of it. It wont just be about clutter but about hygiene and cleanliness for the childrens' sake. A lot of children, and a lot of animals in a small space with the clutter IS a problem. When it comes to children it shouldn't be a case of 'well this person with their drugs is worse'

I am absolutely NOT passing judgement on you. I did not cope AT ALL when my sons father left. For probably about two years I didn't cope. It took me a while to sort myself out. So I really DO understand. I hate remembering.

They kind of CAN force the re-homing of pets in that if they think the pets being around are harmful in some way and the parents aren't changing the situation they can take children out of that situation. Like someone said, if you properly clean up you could try and talk to them about keeping the animals under certain conditions.

You can't ask for a different social worker. Or in my experience you couldn't (exes kids).

ETA - It may take a lot for the SS to take kids but by not just going with them PR could in fact make them stick around longer and have them come checking more regularly. I would pick my battles personally. I am so so so sorry you are going through all of this. It really is horrible <hugs>


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## Guest

halfeatenapple said:


> You can't ask for a different social worker. Or in my experience you couldn't (exes kids).


You can ask for a different social worker, it's your legal right.


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## halfeatenapple

I did n't know that... SS can be very awkward and have fab excuses for things. Like I said, these are the people who decide what happens with your kids and can stay involved for a long time if they feel its needed. I'd pick my battles.

The quicker SS are out of your lives the better. It's really awful for your rats and Inka but it's probably for the best long run and there is no stopping you having more in future. I would at least query about keeping them if you sort the house out but I wouldn't push it.


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## polishrose

The lady who came to the house isn't the social worker who will be assigned to me-that's someone else.I have no idea who.All I know is to expect a visit some time next week as she asked how long it would take to sort the living room out and I said 2 weeks as the older kids are at their dad's this weekend-they get back in about an hour and with me working evenings and coping with a 3 year old and the others in the daytime I don't get much chance to sort through boxes etc.


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## Guest

halfeatenapple said:


> They kind of CAN force the re-homing of pets in that if they think the pets being around are harmful in some way and the parents aren't changing the situation they can take children out of that situation. Like someone said, if you properly clean up you could try and talk to them about keeping the animals under certain conditions.
> 
> You can't ask for a different social worker. Or in my experience you couldn't (exes kids).
> 
> ETA - It may take a lot for the SS to take kids but by not just going with them PR could in fact make them stick around longer and have them come checking more regularly. I would pick my battles personally. I am so so so sorry you are going through all of this. It really is horrible <hugs>


Just a few more points.

If PR clears her house or at least shows the effort to put in a good start, I can't see how they have the power to force someone to remove their animals from a situation, they may however view her as being uncooperative, legally, they can't make you do anything at all unless a court order is in place. Non cooperation won't get you very far as they'll see it as someone not putting their children first.

PR is entitled to see whatever they have on file about her from this first meeting, you are allowed to access your records at any time and it may be worth doing, just so she can get a feel as to regards whether this may be a power crazy person that initially first dealt with the referral.
This is how you access your records, relating you yourself and your children.
Get copies of your Social Services files and your Children?s files

They can't just walk in and start removing peoples children, it doesn't quite happen like that, it has to go to conferences and they then have to decide whether to apply to the courts, if PR has done everything that's been asked of her regarding clearing the house, I can't see them doing this, she'd also know whether it's gone to conference, as her attendance would have been requested and she will have need to have gone to one of these.



halfeatenapple said:


> I did n't know that... SS can be very awkward and have fab excuses for things. Like I said, these are the people who decide what happens with your kids and can stay involved for a long time if they feel its needed. I'd pick my battles.
> 
> The quicker SS are out of your lives the better. It's really awful for your rats and Inka but it's probably for the best long run and there is no stopping you having more in future. I would at least query about keeping them if you sort the house out but I wouldn't push it.


There is no doubt they can be awkward, but PR does have rights and if she feels she has been treated unfairly, abruptly or harshly, she does have a right to complain about this treatment, they are a public service and there to support, not realistically to pull apart families.



polishrose said:


> The lady who came to the house isn't the social worker who will be assigned to me-that's someone else.I have no idea who.All I know is to expect a visit some time next week as she asked how long it would take to sort the living room out and I said 2 weeks as the older kids are at their dad's this weekend-they get back in about an hour and with me working evenings and coping with a 3 year old and the others in the daytime I don't get much chance to sort through boxes etc.


I feel you've been placed under an awful amount of pressure, all too quickly, especially when you are recovering from operations and illnesses.
It may be you have to downsize on some of your animals in order for you to beable to cope more easily, I just cannot see how they can force you to start removing animals 1) If they have nowhere to go and 2) If they are not legally yours to have removed.

If they do insist that you must start removing your animals, ask them how it's possible in the above instances, and if you can't legally, tell them they must help you do it, so the onus falls on them and not you.


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## polishrose

Thank you.It's 2 am so my thoughts aren't very coherent but I will read all this again tomorrow properly.


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## halfeatenapple

JeanGenie said:


> Just a few more points.
> 
> If PR clears her house or at least shows the effort to put in a good start, I can't see how they have the power to force someone to remove their animals from a situation, they may however view her as being uncooperative, legally, they can't make you do anything at all unless a court order is in place. Non cooperation won't get you very far as they'll see it as someone not putting their children first.
> 
> PR is entitled to see whatever they have on file about her from this first meeting, you are allowed to access your records at any time and it may be worth doing, just so she can get a feel as to regards whether this may be a power crazy person that initially first dealt with the referral.
> This is how you access your records, relating you yourself and your children.
> Get copies of your Social Services files and your Children?s files
> 
> They can't just walk in and start removing peoples children, it doesn't quite happen like that, it has to go to conferences and they then have to decide whether to apply to the courts, if PR has done everything that's been asked of her regarding clearing the house, I can't see them doing this, she'd also know whether it's gone to conference, as her attendance would have been requested and she will have need to have gone to one of these.
> 
> There is no doubt they can be awkward, but PR does have rights and if she feels she has been treated unfairly, abruptly or harshly, she does have a right to complain about this treatment, they are a public service and there to support, not realistically to pull apart families.
> 
> I feel you've been placed under an awful amount of pressure, all too quickly, especially when you are recovering from operations and illnesses.
> It may be you have to downsize on some of your animals in order for you to beable to cope more easily, I just cannot see how they can force you to start removing animals 1) If they have nowhere to go and 2) If they are not legally yours to have removed.
> 
> If they do insist that you must start removing your animals, ask them how it's possible in the above instances, and if you can't legally, tell them they must help you do it, so the onus falls on them and not you.


I agree with everything you say. I know she has rights, she knows she has rights but in the situation it's not as easy as that. Sometimes the best thing to do is to buckle under and do as someone asks for the sake of peace and long term. If she does whatever they request as quickly as possible they will be more likely to keep their nose out in future. It's not about what they actually go ahead and force and I doubt very much, no matter how awkward they find PR that they actually would take kids away. They can move kids into temp accommodation pretty quickly though (usually with family). It's about long term and future involvement. I'd do whatever just to get them out of my life ASAP. 
Besides, 6 kids and the amount of animals PR has sounds a lot to deal with for anyone but especially with illnesses etc. It will be hard but maybe this is a good thing for now? This is not a nice way for it all to happen sure but maybe this will be good for you PR and give you a bit of a break? It sounds like you need it. xx

Why does PR not have rights to re-home Inka? Her ex is no longer there. Inka has been with PR since she was a puppy. He left Inka there. I would have thought that PR has every right, even legally surely? (I have no idea on this btw - would just be very surprised) Genuine questions as I really don't understand.


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## polishrose

OK I'm awake now properly.I've never had dealings with social services before so really didn't have a clue what they can and can't do, other than what I've read and seen on the news.I really think the lady just doesn't like animals-she made me shut the dogs in the kitchen as she's scared of them-ok I can understand that,but she was horrified at the rats and mice and obviously knows nothing about them as she asked why I had 6 rats instead of 1.However I don't want to be branded uncooperative or something so would rather do as I'm told and get rid of social as quickly as possible.The ratties will have a good home with Bernie I know they will and she has said I can have them back as soon as the situation with social is sorted.Inka is the biggest problem-but I've worked out why ex isn't keen on taking her back-he wants to get back together with me and thinks keeping Inka here will make me more likely to consider it.


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## niki87

polishrose said:


> OK I'm awake now properly.I've never had dealings with social services before so really didn't have a clue what they can and can't do, other than what I've read and seen on the news.I really think the lady just doesn't like animals-she made me shut the dogs in the kitchen as she's scared of them-ok I can understand that,but she was horrified at the rats and mice and obviously knows nothing about them as she asked why I had 6 rats instead of 1.However I don't want to be branded uncooperative or something so would rather do as I'm told and get rid of social as quickly as possible.The ratties will have a good home with Bernie I know they will and she has said I can have them back as soon as the situation with social is sorted.Inka is the biggest problem-but I've worked out why ex isn't keen on taking her back-he wants to get back together with me and thinks keeping Inka here will make me more likely to consider it.


Tell him he has more chance if he helps you out with Inka...not that he does....no harm saying that


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## Lavenderb

I think unless any of you have physically seen the op's house then you should refrain from giving too much advice. My own experience of social services have been positive and they don't get involved unless its needed and once things are heading in the right direction they step back. Op don't be afraid to ask for more time to clear your home and only do what you can manage. There's nothing to be ashamed of, no one is perfect, not even social workers


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## halfeatenapple

Lavenderb said:


> I think unless any of you have physically seen the op's house then you should refrain from giving too much advice. My own experience of social services have been positive and they don't get involved unless its needed and once things are heading in the right direction they step back. Op don't be afraid to ask for more time to clear your home and only do what you can manage. There's nothing to be ashamed of, no one is perfect, not even social workers


That's advice...


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## Lavenderb

halfeatenapple said:


> That's advice...


I didn't say don't give 'any' advice. Feel free to read my post again


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## niki87

I have seen OP's house....


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## Lavenderb

niki87 said:


> I have seen OP's house....


Thats fair enough. I'm sure things will be sorted soon...I didn't want PR feeling overwhelmed by too much emphasis on negative interaction from social services...they are there to guide and help.


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## halfeatenapple

Lavenderb said:


> I didn't say don't give 'any' advice. Feel free to read my post again


I think we can all decide how much advice we can/should give cheers.


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## ForestWomble

Hi.
I hope things are going well and you are recovering from your cold.
Regarding re-homing Inka do you have a Dogstrust near you? Maybe you could talk to them, explain your situation, they may know the whole legal thing and take her and find a good home, or they may even agree to keep her until you are ready you have her again? (I don't know this, but it is worth a try)

Oh, and another thing, regarding social services, yes I had a bad time with them when I was a teenager, but when I was moved to the adult team, I had a lovely social worker who would bend over backwards for me, she did everything in her power to make things right for me, so when you get the one who is assigned to you, well, you may have a pleasant surprise.


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## Lavenderb

Animallover26 said:


> Hi.
> I hope things are going well and you are recovering from your cold.
> Regarding re-homing Inka do you have a Dogstrust near you? Maybe you could talk to them, explain your situation, they may know the whole legal thing and take her and find a good home, or they may even agree to keep her until you are ready you have her again? (I don't know this, but it is worth a try)


Exactly the point I was trying to explain...talk to people who actually know the legalities...not just emphasizing bad experiences which does nothing to help the op. I hope you are making progress PR


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## halfeatenapple

Lavenderb said:


> Exactly the point I was trying to explain...talk to people who actually know the legalities...not just emphasizing bad experiences *which does nothing to help the op*. I hope you are making progress PR


Don't be so daft. If you sugar coat everything and only know good experiences you are not prepared for bad experiences. I've been involved with a lovely social worker as well as some awful ones. It was pot luck. (1 nice one to 3 awful ones) I would have had a massive shock if I had got the nice one first and then the horrible awkward unhelpful ones after her. Knowing bad experiences does help the OP. It prepares her. Everyone on this thread is trying to be helpful whether they share their positive or negative experiences/legal knowledge or advice. Why don't you just keep your nose out and let others be helpful in their own way and decide what advice/help you can give for yourself? I have advised what I would do in this scenario as I have had to think about it in the past. How helpful that is to the OP is none of your business to be frank.


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## Lavenderb

halfeatenapple said:


> Don't be so daft. If you sugar coat everything and only know good experiences you are not prepared for bad experiences. I've been involved with a lovely social worker as well as some awful ones. It was pot luck. (1 nice one to 3 awful ones) I would have had a massive shock if I had got the nice one first and then the horrible awkward unhelpful ones after her. Knowing bad experiences does help the OP. It prepares her. Everyone on this thread is trying to be helpful whether they share their positive or negative experiences/legal knowledge or advice. Why don't you just keep your nose out and let others be helpful in their own way and decide what advice/help you can give for yourself? I have advised what I would do in this scenario as I have had to think about it in the past. How helpful that is to the OP is none of your business to be frank.


Why should I keep my nose out? This has been posted on a public forum. ??


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## Guest

halfeatenapple said:


> I agree with everything you say. I know she has rights, she knows she has rights but in the situation it's not as easy as that. Sometimes the best thing to do is to buckle under and do as someone asks for the sake of peace and long term. If she does whatever they request as quickly as possible they will be more likely to keep their nose out in future. It's not about what they actually go ahead and force and I doubt very much, no matter how awkward they find PR that they actually would take kids away. They can move kids into temp accommodation pretty quickly though (usually with family). It's about long term and future involvement. I'd do whatever just to get them out of my life ASAP.
> Besides, 6 kids and the amount of animals PR has sounds a lot to deal with for anyone but especially with illnesses etc. It will be hard but maybe this is a good thing for now? This is not a nice way for it all to happen sure but maybe this will be good for you PR and give you a bit of a break? It sounds like you need it. xx
> 
> Why does PR not have rights to re-home Inka? Her ex is no longer there. Inka has been with PR since she was a puppy. He left Inka there. I would have thought that PR has every right, even legally surely? (I have no idea on this btw - would just be very surprised) Genuine questions as I really don't understand.


Usually if you do everything they ask of you, they will disappear pretty quickly. 
Thing is, with the animals PR is being told to rehome, time is of the essence as far as the next meeting goes, I suppose.

Being as PR does have 'ownership' of Inka, there's absolutely no reason why she cannot rehome her, however if the Ex decides to make things difficult it could make the situation a whole lot worse, especially when SS are involved over a domestic incident.

Maybe it would be a whole lot better for her if she asked them for some assistance with rehoming Inka, rather than just doing it, at least when the time comes, SS will inform/contact the Ex of their intentions to get the ball rolling as far as Inka is concerned if he refuses to get her removed from the home himself, or won't allow PR to do it.

They could request that he signs over ownership to her if they can't help in any other way, it's worth asking them.
At least that way, there's no comeback for PR, SS would be forcing his hand, rather than PR

If she asks for some help with Inka if they do require she's rehoused, it gives the Ex very little choice but to comply with them.


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## newfiesmum

JeanGenie said:


> Usually if you do everything they ask of you, they will disappear pretty quickly.
> Thing is, with the animals PR is being told to rehome, time is of the essence as far as the next meeting goes, I suppose.
> 
> Being as PR does have 'ownership' of Inka, there's absolutely no reason why she cannot rehome her, however if the Ex decides to make things difficult it could make the situation a whole lot worse, especially when SS are involved over a domestic incident.
> 
> Maybe it would be a whole lot better for her if she asked them for some assistance with rehoming Inka, rather than just doing it, at least when the time comes, SS will inform/contact the Ex of their intentions to get the ball rolling as far as Inka is concerned if he refuses to get her removed from the home himself, or won't allow PR to do it.
> 
> They could request that he signs over ownership to her if they can't help in any other way, it's worth asking them.
> At least that way, there's no comeback for PR, SS would be forcing his hand, rather than PR
> 
> If she asks for some help with Inka if they do require she's rehoused, it gives the Ex very little choice but to comply with them.


Couldn't you get someone to look after Inka for the day the SS is coming?


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## halfeatenapple

JeanGenie said:


> Usually if you do everything they ask of you, they will disappear pretty quickly.
> Thing is, with the animals PR is being told to rehome, time is of the essence as far as the next meeting goes, I suppose.
> 
> Being as PR does have 'ownership' of Inka, there's absolutely no reason why she cannot rehome her, however if the Ex decides to make things difficult it could make the situation a whole lot worse, especially when SS are involved over a domestic incident.
> 
> Maybe it would be a whole lot better for her if she asked them for some assistance with rehoming Inka, rather than just doing it, at least when the time comes, SS will inform/contact the Ex of their intentions to get the ball rolling as far as Inka is concerned if he refuses to get her removed from the home himself, or won't allow PR to do it.
> 
> They could request that he signs over ownership to her if they can't help in any other way, it's worth asking them.
> At least that way, there's no comeback for PR, SS would be forcing his hand, rather than PR
> 
> If she asks for some help with Inka if they do require she's rehoused, it gives the Ex very little choice but to comply with them.


Good point. 2 weeks for re-homing any animal really isn't long. (esp with rats - what percentage of the population would house rats?!) As long as PR is seen to be trying to do all they ask even if she needs some assistance with it. I guess you're right.


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## halfeatenapple

Lavenderb said:


> Why should I keep my nose out? This has been posted on a public forum. ??


Exactly, where people can post their own advice and opinions and don't need some randomer telling them what advice they should/should not be giving. Anyway :Yawn:


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## DKDREAM

halfeatenapple said:


> Exactly, where people can post their own advice and opinions and don't need some randomer telling them what advice they should/should not be giving. Anyway :Yawn:


is there any need to argue like this??? I feel sorry for the OP having to rehome animals.


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## Laura123

How's the declutter going? Did you get any of the vacuum bags? Maybe your nose is blocked from the dust and stuff as you're cleaning. It may be worth getting a D.I.Y. mask. Laura XXX


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## Jugsmalone

DKDREAM said:


> is there any need to argue like this??? I feel sorry for the OP having to rehome animals.


Yes, I was thinking the same thing.

OP, unfortunately I don't have any advice to offer but I hope you manage to get things back on track.


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## halfeatenapple

DKDREAM said:


> is there any need to argue like this??? I feel sorry for the OP having to rehome animals.


Sorry, will stop now


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## DKDREAM

halfeatenapple said:


> Sorry, will stop now


it must be so hard for the OP  I hope they can sort things.


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## sully

Polishrose, how are you?


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## fatrat

I hope things are going ok xx


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## polishrose

The Ratties have just gone. Zosia is taking it very hard and I'm crying too. May need to take a break from here for a bit. Can't cope with the arguing.


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## halfeatenapple

polishrose said:


> Can't cope with the arguing.


Sorry PR


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## Laura123

Hope you're not away too long. Take care and be good to yourself. Be busy and keep gutting. Good luck. Will keep chaecking for an update.


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## niki87

Oh hun please don't go...most of us care a lot about you and how everything is going!! And the people who have "argued" are only ignited with a passion about your situation.

Btw am sorry about the rats...but maybe if all this blows over soon you can get them back!! Must be so hard on your daughter though! She clearly loved them a lot...especially Klaus...she did so well with him!!!


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## polishrose

Have started a new thread on the subject of the rats.


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