# Pining Cat



## Bigsize9foot (Sep 6, 2017)

Hi

I have 2 siblings aged 2 1/2. My male cat is very poorly and has been at the vet ICU for the last 2 days. We are hopeful he will come home tomorrow but his prognosis is so poor we don't know for how long. 

My female is very unsettled. I think she has been looking for him and she is very subdued. They have always been very close. 

What can I do to help my female both now and in future? 

Thank you
B


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## SbanR (Jun 16, 2017)

I'm sorry your boy is now very poorly. I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions as to what you can do now but would suggest that when he does pass, if at all possible, to have his body home for a while so that his sister can see his body. It might help her realise that he's gone.


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## Bigsize9foot (Sep 6, 2017)

SbanR said:


> I'm sorry your boy is now very poorly. I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions as to what you can do now but would suggest that when he does pass, if at all possible, to have his body home for a while so that his sister can see his body. It might help her realise that he's gone.


Thanks. I've done some reading online and this was mentioned. Id find that too hard and we have kids who would find that too traumatic.

At the moment she seems to want to be in their bed all the time. We're hoping to get him home tomorrow although I don't know for how long. 
Thanks x


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

@Bigsize9foot - one of my previous elderly cats died at home and I made sure the rest of my cats saw his body. They sniffed him, hesitantly, and seemed puzzled. The next day I took my cat's body to the pet crematorium. I couldn't have kept him in the house any longer, it would have been too upsetting for me and my OH.

The following day 2 of the cats began looking for the missing cat and one continued to search for him for days.

That particular cat was the only one who died at home, the rest died, or were pts at the vets. I haven't brought any of their bodies home from the vet, they have been taken straight to the Pet Crematorium. I would find it much too sad to bring their bodies home to show my other cats, and I am not convinced it would stop the rest of my cats from missing their pal the next day, and searching for them for days afterwards. But they do accept the loss far more quickly than I do.


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## SbanR (Jun 16, 2017)

Bigsize9foot said:


> Thanks. I've done some reading online and this was mentioned. Id find that too hard and we have kids who would find that too traumatic.
> 
> At the moment she seems to want to be in their bed all the time. We're hoping to get him home tomorrow although I don't know for how long.
> Thanks x


I'm so very sorry. I remember your previous threads on his heart problems.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Talk to your girl about it, what's happening and what is going to happen, and when he comes home, talk to them both. Allow your children to participate in these conversations as well.

When you bring him in for the last time, be sure she says good bye as you leave with him in the carrier. You will likely have some time with him after he has his final shot. when you come home, let her smell your hands as you her again where he is now.

Of course she will still grieve and maybe look for him, but in her heart she will know.

I am so sorry you and your family are going through this @Bigsize9foot .


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## Bigsize9foot (Sep 6, 2017)

chillminx said:


> @Bigsize9foot - one of my previous elderly cats died at home and I made sure the rest of my cats saw his body. They sniffed him, hesitantly, and seemed puzzled. The next day I took my cat's body to the pet crematorium. I couldn't have kept him in the house any longer, it would have been too upsetting for me and my OH.
> 
> The following day 2 of the cats began looking for the missing cat and one continued to search for him for days.
> 
> That particular cat was the only one who died at home, the rest died, or were pts at the vets. I haven't brought any of their bodies home from the vet, they have been taken straight to the Pet Crematorium. I would find it much too sad to bring their bodies home, and I am not convinced it would stop the rest of my cats from missing their pal the next day, and for days afterwards. But they do accept the loss far more quickly than I do.


Thank you. That helps with that decision x


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## Bigsize9foot (Sep 6, 2017)

lorilu said:


> Talk to your girl about it, what's happening and what is going to happen, and when he comes home, talk to them both. Allow your children to participate in these conversations as well.
> 
> When you bring him in for the last time, be sure she says good bye as you leave with him in the carrier. You will likely have some time with him after he has his final shot. when you come home, let her smell your hands as you her again where he is now.
> 
> ...


Thank you xx


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## scatatonic (Dec 13, 2019)

We had this with one of ours. Allowed one of our cats to have kittens and kept two from the litter. They were inseperable for 20 years. Then the female disappeared one day... I thought she had gone off to die. Two weeks later she turned up in a terrible state, looked emaciated and her mouth was all torn and infected. The male was very distressed but didn't want to go near her. We tried antibiotics but she couldn't eat and had to put her to sleep a couple of days later. He seemed sad after that but I think he knew she had gone. We got another kitten and he adored it, totally rejuvenated him. There is so much about cats being solitary animals but in my experience some cats are quite the opposite!


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## Mrs Funkin (Mar 12, 2018)

Oh I'm so sorry to read what you and Archie are going through @Bigsize9foot  I shall hold you in my thoughts. Sending strength to get through the tough days ahead.


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## Bigsize9foot (Sep 6, 2017)

Archie went to Rainbow Bridge tonight. Even though we were well prepared for this day we are still devastated. He was only 2. 

Luna continues to pine. She doesn't do much except lie in their bed. She's eating reluctantly. She seems to have withdrawn some affection and lost her spark. She and Archie would always play together racing round the house. It's so sad to see her like this and I don't know how to help :-(


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

I am so very sorry to hear this sad news hun. xx Only 2 years old! Such a shame for his life to be so cut short!

Poor Luna, bless her. It is very upsetting to see them, when they miss their playmate or sibling. 

When one of my cats died suddenly a couple of months ago, his brother spent days searching for him around the house and in the garden. It was heartbreaking. The brothers were always together, indoors or out in the garden. The remaining brother luckily has the 2 girls for company, and he's always got on well with them. 

All you can do is be there for Luna whenever she needs you. Chat to her, and try and find things to gently distract her. At only 2 y/old I expect she loves to play with you. She will be OK in a while. 

Thinking of you and dear Luna with much sympathy.

RIP beloved Archie. xx


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## Mrs Funkin (Mar 12, 2018)

I'm so so sorry. Run free, Archie, may the Bridge be covered in your favourite treats - and may you know that you were so loved. Luna and all of your human family, look after each other. Sending strength for the coming days.


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## TriTri (Oct 31, 2017)

So sorry to hear this @Bigsize9foot & sweet Luna.

R.I.P dear Archie.


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## SbanR (Jun 16, 2017)

I'm very sorry to read this sad news.
I had this years ago with my kitten pining for his big brother and refusing to eat. I thought I was going to lose him.
All you can do is as CM says. Be there for Luna, love and comfort her.

RIP dear Archie


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

So sad to hear this news; Archie was so young. Yes, they do grieve for their missing friends, I'm sure of that. XX


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## Jojomomo (Apr 16, 2017)

I'm so sorry to hear about Archie, RIP little one. Sending love to Luna and you all xx


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## Bigsize9foot (Sep 6, 2017)

Hi all, 
Luna continues to pine. Like me she seems to have good days and bad days. I play with her but I can see she misses playing with him as they were always tearing round the house after each other and would always be found curled up next to each other. She had a few days of coming down to see us but now she doesn't really. She sits herself a lot and just looks sad. She has been going out but comes back to the house often - I'm not sure if this is to look for Archie or to check we are still here. My husband says she needs a friend but I think it is too soon and I worry that she wont take to a new cat and we'll then be even worse off. 
I know its early days- only 2 weeks- yet it feels like a lifetime :-( 
Is there anything I can do for her?


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