# Puppy not going to sleep at night without me but sleeps through once asleep



## Borderpup

Hi 

I wonder if someone could help me. 

In many ways, my 9 week old puppy has been doing quite well with nighttime sleeping. Most nights he sleeps through, or if he does wake up its only once. 

This is great, but I'm concerned because he won't go to sleep on his own, without me being in the room. If I just put him in his room with a Kong, for example, and walked away he would howl the house down. I think this would continue for some time, so I don't want to start it if there's another way. 

What I currently do is wait until he has just dropped off in the living room, then put him in his crate in his room with a Kong. He wakes up a bit while being transported, and eats the treats from the Kong, but won't drop back off to sleep without me being there. 

If he wakes up in the night, I calmly take him to the garden, so he can do his business. I don't talk to him, or turn the lights on, and then take him straight back to his crate as soon as he's finished. Despite this, he's then wide awake, and takes some time to go back to sleep. I don't fuss him or talk to him, but I sit in front of the entrance to his crate block the way. He tries to get out, but I don't let let him past me. I just calmly move him further into the crate, and keep repeating this until he flops down on one of his cuddly toys. This is a low key affair; he's not panicking to get out, he just quietly persists. Eventually, he falls asleep. 

My concern is that, if I just now start walking away at bedtime and after taking him out, it will completely disrupt his good sleep pattern. 

Is there a way to gradually wean him off needing me there to fall asleep? Has anyone else had this problem? 

In the daytime, he will go to his crate to sleep, but it is his idea then. I want to get to a place where I can give him his Kong, and put him in his room when I decide it's bedtime. 

I'd be grateful for some advice. 

By the way, he is currently sleeping in a room with an open crate. We previously had him in our bedroom with the crate door closed, but when I tried to leave him in it and ignore his crying after I'd taken him out, he got distressed it got a bit dangerous to leave him in the crate. That's how I got into the habit of staying outside the crate and not letting him out. I thought he'd get the message that bedtime is for sleeping, and nothing else. 

Now his crate door is open I would feel more comfortable leaving him to cry, as he would probably just do that at the room door and not risk getting his foot caught in the crate. However, if there's a gentler way to do it, I'd rather do that. 

Also, I give him a hot water bottle, and a heartbeat toy in his crate. . 

Thank you for reading


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## Lizz1155

You're doing really well considering he is only 9 weeks old  I'm assuming you've only had him for a week or so, so it's not surprising that he's having a few issues settling at night.

However (and this is only in my experience, bringing up one young puppy) - if he's not willing to go to sleep without you, he's probably not tired enough for bed. With a young puppy (and an adolescent dog), you've got to ensure that they're actually tired and ready for bed, otherwise they just will not settle. You've gotta wear them out 

For example, my dog's bedtime has always been between 9.30 and 10pm. So as a puppy he used to get a short walk at 7.30 (just down the road and back), play in the garden til 8.30, come back indoors, play and chew something until bedtime (to prevent him falling asleep _before_ bedtime). For me, it was also really important to make sure that he didn't nap after 7pm ( it's 6pm, now that he's older). After that, he's beginning to get very sleepy around 9.30, so I just take him for his last toilet-break, then crate him.

He's always slept in his crate in the dining room - I was next to his crate for the first night, downstairs in the lounge for the second night, and in my own bed by the third night. (But doing night-time toilet breaks until 17 weeks).


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## Wiz201

Teddy (now 9 weeks) sleeps through the night in the crate. He gets a good play session late at night and he cries for a few mins but then he seems to know its night time and he goes to sleep. I'd be tough and try to ignore him.


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## Borderpup

Hi

Thank you both for your replies. 

Yes I've had him for just over a week, so he is doing really well when I think about it. It feels like I've had him a lot longer than that though! 

I've been making sure he's worn out, and closed his eyes before carrying him to his crate, but I think the Kong actually wakes him up a bit. I started to give it to him so he could have something nice to associate with bedtime, but maybe I should just put him in his crate when nhe's nearly asleep instead. 

When your pup gets up to go to the toilet, does he settle back on his own, or do you have to sit with him? Mine can take about 20 mins to settle, with me in the room. The only thing I can do is take him out if I hear him waking up, i.e. before he wines. He then settles in a few minutes. 

I think it will be better when he's had his second vaccinations, and can go for a walk before bed. 

It's funny, when I've had dogs before, I've just given them a treat and walked away. I didn't give it a second thought, even if they cried. I must be going soft


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## Lizz1155

Borderpup said:


> Hi
> 
> Thank you both for your replies.
> 
> Yes I've had him for just over a week, so he is doing really well when I think about it. It feels like I've had him a lot longer than that though!
> 
> I've been making sure he's worn out, and closed his eyes before carrying him to his crate, but I think the Kong actually wakes him up a bit. I started to give it to him so he could have something nice to associate with bedtime, but maybe I should just put him in his crate when nhe's nearly asleep instead.
> 
> When your pup gets up to go to the toilet, does he settle back on his own, or do you have to sit with him? Mine can take about 20 mins to settle, with me in the room. The only thing I can do is take him out if I hear him waking up, i.e. before he wines. He then settles in a few minutes.
> 
> Mine was actually ok at settling back by himself, but I may have just been very lucky. It reached a stage where I'd take him out to the toilet, then he'd voluntarily crate himself when he came back in (initially I just used to throw a treat into his crate to get him to go back in, then sneak out the room). It may also have helped that he was crate-trained at his breeders - i.e he was used to sleeping in a crate.
> 
> My pup had a habit of pooping in his crate during the night, and not waking anybody until he'd pooped in there, so I ended up doing night-time toilet breaks until he was 17 weeks old. (Because it was easier to set an alarm and take him out then to clean up a messed crate and comfort a distressed puppy at 4am every night  ). Some nights this actually did involve me waking the puppy up to take him out/carrying him outside tucked under my arm, however he always peed and poop within 3 minutes of being taken outside. I think I did night-time toilet breaks longer than most people do it for. But it has really paid off - no accidents indoors since 13 weeks old. Pup's don't have control of their bladder and bowels until 12 weeks, and after that they learn to gradually gain control - so I was doing 3am toilet breaks until 14 weeks old, and then gradually increasing the time by half and hour each night, until he could go through til morning.
> 
> I think it will be better when he's had his second vaccinations, and can go for a walk before bed.
> 
> It's funny, when I've had dogs before, I've just given them a treat and walked away. I didn't give it a second thought, even if they cried. I must be going soft


He sounds adorable. What breed of puppy is he?


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## Wiz201

I'd guess he's taking longer to settle because you're there, and he's wondering whats happening. To encourage him to settle, just put him back and walk out the room without speaking, putting the light out.


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## Amelia66

Are you sure he isnt finding the 'im not letting you out of the crate' as a form of game, after all it means he gets your attention for extra time before bed. We find the best way is to put our pup in her crate after toileting and then leave her with no fuss. She used to whine for a while and then settle now she very rarely whines and if she does it isnt for long. You may just have to give him some tough love otherwise he is never going to go to sleep without you there.


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## Borderpup

Lizz1155 said:


> He sounds adorable. What breed of puppy is he?


He's a Border Collie, and is very lovely. 

Thank you for all your replies. I think we've had a breakthrough!

I made sure he was extra tired when I put him to bed, gave him his Kong, and just walked away. Things went very quiet, and he was asleep when I went back in a few minutes later!

He's still sleeping through, so is doing really well. Each night I've put him to bed when he's been a little less tired than the previous night, and last night, he wasn't very tired at all. He whimpered twice, but then went to sleep.

I think the reason he wouldn't go down when he was in our bedroom was because he could see me, and then he'd want to be with me. Now he's in his own room, there are no distractions. He has nothing else to do but sleep.

He's not even crying to get out the room in the morning when my husband comes down to make breakfast. He just sits patiently behind the glass door until we let him out.

I've been holding off updating the thread in case I jinxed his progress. I've been touching wood every day.

Now I've sorted his bed time, his house training has gone to pot. He was doing so well, but now he is weeing every 5 minutes, even though he can hold it at night and when he's asleep at other times. He's asking to go out, but then goes before I can get to the door.

He's going for his second jabs on Wednesday, so I'll speak to the vet.

Thanks again for replying


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## Lizz1155

Well done! :thumbup1: 

Peeing accidents before getting to the door are normal at such a young age. Unless I've miscalculated, he's still under 12 weeks old? Pup's don't have any control over their bladder and bowels until 12 weeks, after which they gradually gain continence. This means that most people tend to schedule their pup's toilet breaks, rather than relying on them asking to go out until they are older than 12 weeks. At the moment, he probably only realises that he needs the toilet a second or two before he actually has to go to the toilet - it's not a case of him not knowing he has to ask and go outside to the toilet, it's that he can't physically hang on long enough to get there. 

It gets a lot easier when they're 14-17 weeks old and fully continent


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## jmk

I got my pup staff at 9 weeks she did cry for a week but if I was with her she did relax. So I put a radio in her room and yes it worked she cry for about 10 mins then relax.the poo and wee thing like others have said so young cant hold it in so forgive that.


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