# New dog. I cant bond



## Kyla254 (Sep 13, 2019)

So I have a dog who is 15 months old we thought he would love a friend as he loves other dogs and would be company for him when at work. However we adopted another same breed and age and it's been a week of hell. She is so hyper compared to my dog and there energy levels do not match. My dog has been getting aggressive which he never has done before over toys food and chews. He is constantly on edge and barking at things he never did like slightest noises. I feel like I cant bond with the new girl cz of how she is making my existing sog feel.
I actually would feel relieved if she weren't here. Was on a walk with them tonight and she keeps pushing my dog out the way when they are both sniffing stuff she is constantly head butting him so to speak. He got so wound up that they ended up having a spat on the pavement next to the busy road which was hard to manage trying to stop them going into road then again near our house.
I'm getting really stressed out and when I try to talk to my husband about it he doesnt want to know. He says what do u want me to say or then says well I will take her out seperate but that's not always do able as he works when I'll b doing school run with the dogs before my work.
I've literally been crying tonight and still not hes but saying a thing to me. I feel I cant cope


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## Linda Weasel (Mar 5, 2014)

Honestly it sounds as if this isn’t working.

I might be a bit premature here but can you return her to the rescue centre before too much harm is done?

I base this on the fact that even your original dog is unhappy with the situation.


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## Ian246 (Oct 27, 2018)

It’s not entirely clear to me what you’re looking for here. What are you asking?
I will say that the new dog really needs time to settle in - if you’re willing to give it. And it’s likely to take more than one week. I’m surprised the dogs weren’t introduced to one another before the rescue centre handed her over, but there we go. She’s no doubt confused and possibly frightened. If you’re not willing to help her settle, then - as ‘Linda Weasel’ says - you need to return her to the rescue centre. And if you’re going to do that, I’d recommend you do it sooner rather than later.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Very early days so the new dog must be feeling a bit confused and anxious at the big change. I’m sure she will settle given time.

Interactions with your older dog need better management to avoid any dramas.

Fix up a baby gate so they can both have chill out time away from each other - especially when you’re not there.

Try walking them separately sometimes and maybe keep the new dog on a leash if together so she can’t crowd your older dog all the time?

If you really can’t cope with her then get her back to the rescue ASAP to limit any upset for her.


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## Kyla254 (Sep 13, 2019)

We did have meetings and they went so well. My existing dog has got on with her alot better now. I still cant get the bond with her. I've tried I really have I've been playing with her on our own and spending alone time with her. I just don't feel anything towards her and I can't explain why. Its kicked my anxiety and depression back I was in a good place and now I'm feeling constantly stressed and depressed its started to effect my family relationships now. What I was looking for in my post is anyone who has been through similar experience and has got better.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Well it's only been a little over a week. Things like this take time and effort to settle into place, it doesn't happen instantly, nor do bonds happen instantly. If you want this to work you will need to change your attitude a bit, you are expecting too much here, and decide that you are going to make it work and put in the time and effort.

My concern is your husband, isn't he helping you at all? Was he against getting a 2nd dog, is that why he's so indifferent? He needs to step up and help, you work together as a team.

How old are the kids? There may be ways they can become involved too. This should be a family project not just you struggling along.

Do the dogs have ways to get away from one another?


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## Biggles50 (Oct 5, 2019)

Did the two dogs spend time together and I do not mean 10 minutes I mean regular get togethers over a period of days and all away from your home?

If not and you just brought the new dog home then it is not surprising there are problems.

I take it from your Husbands attitude that he was not in favour of getting another dog?

Take it back, its not worth the aggravation or stress that it is causing.


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## Golightly (Oct 6, 2019)

If it's any comfort it took me a long long time to bond with Bailey a rescue dog. I think I was expecting too much from him too soon. When you already have a dog or had a well mannered dog then you can't help making comparisons which in hindsight is very unfair on the new dog who has just come from one scary situation into another one. So if you feel it could work then do try to see her in a new light and welcome her warts and all.


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