# How do I bond with my Kitten??



## karamelkittykat (Apr 11, 2010)

I have had this kitten for well over 2 weeks now, and i still think she dont really know me..sometimes when im walking around she will run and hide, shes hyperactive, everytime i try to pet her she will bite and scratch me..she just turned 8 weeks old..i dont know what i can do to make her like me more..any ideas? i think maybe she got scared because of these little punishments i give her for biting and scratching like sprinkling water..or bite her back a little or flick her ears..the only time she will be so near to me is if we're sleeping cuz she will sleep on the same bed as me..does anyone have any tips? thank you


----------



## Leah100 (Aug 17, 2008)

Stop punishing her, she's a baby, she doesn't understand what you're doing, you'll end up with her being head shy and aggressive.

She hasn't been socialised very well, and you need to put in the effort now with time tlc and lots and lots of patience and play.
Get some fishing rod type toys so she can get her play hunting games done at a safe distance from your fingers and body. 

Be quiet and gentle and offer her treats by hand so she associates your hands with nice things not punishment.

be patient, do not get cross or physical, you won't teach her anything and she will avoid you.

play and play and play , lots of toys, just like her littermates would be playing.


----------



## dharma66 (Oct 25, 2009)

If she just turned 8 weeks old, and you've had her for well over two weeks, then she left her mother way, way too soon.

That makes her just over 5 weeks when she left her mother!?

Kittens should not leave their mother until 8 weeks at the very, very earliest. The GCCF stipulates 13 weeks...

She's missed out on a lot of instruction from her mother and her litter mates, particularly about controlling her level of force used during play, and with getting on with other 'people'.

At the moment,, she's still of an age when they naturally tend to focus on 'social play', that is, playing with their litter mates. Over the next few weeks, if she were with her mother, her focus would start to turn more towards 'object play'.

You need advice from people who are used to bringing up very young or orphaned kittens. There are few people on this forum with that experience, so hopefully someone will spot your post. 

For now, I would suggest you try to get her interested in toys, particularly the 'bird on a stick' type. If you choose a toy such as this, that you can hold and join in the play with her, you'll get the bonding effect you want, but you will have your hands safely out of the way.

This should help her to refrain from play fighting you.


----------



## shutterspeed (Mar 23, 2010)

I adopted a cat from a shelter that was already shy when I got him. He was about 12 weeks then. I have tons of photo's on which you can see the fear in his eyes. When he sits somewhere, he runs away when I get nearer. I kind of ignored his behaviour, just let him be himself. I found out he adores cheese. Everytime I make myself a sandwich, he's there and he takes the tiniest piece from my hands. I also bought these very very small treats which he takes too.
He's 11 months now and slowly he starts to get more confident. I can stroke him now when he sits somewhere.
Patience dear, a lot of patience!
It's good she sleeps on your bed, you are less of a threat to her then. She can come closer when you are asleep if she wants.
Succes!!


----------



## bimbleweb (Apr 15, 2009)

Letting the little one sleep on your bed is great. 
Please don't punish it  It's only a baby and kittens do bite and scratch when they play. If you punish the kitten, it will be scared of you and other people 

When I first brought home one of my boys, he ran around the house for 3 days solid. Hissing, hiding even climbing the walls! By sitting in the same room as him for long periods, he soon realised that I wasn't trying to 'get him'. I placed his food bowl on the other side of the room from me and over a period of days gradually moved closer to it. Within a week he would let me stroke him while eating and started to follow me around while I carries a teaser stick 

Patience is what's needed.
Good luck!


----------



## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

I agree with the others that you should not punish her she is a very tiny baby and will end up being frightened of you.
Have you thought of getting another kitten? Two kittens have so much fun 
together. When i had mine (16 years ago!!) They took all their energies out on each other.When they were awake they played all the time. Then they would sleep together. 
Having two is a lot easier and you will still play and bond with them.
When you leave one on it's own you tend to feel guilty but when you have two you can go out for an evening knowing that they have company.


----------



## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

dharma66 said:


> If she just turned 8 weeks old, and you've had her for well over two weeks, then she left her mother way, way too soon.
> 
> That makes her just over 5 weeks when she left her mother!?
> 
> ...


Couldn't agree with you more. I responded on the OP's other poster a couple of days ago and said the exact same thing.

KaramelKittyKat, did you get in contact with the breeder and ask her if she has a solution? The more I think about this (and that she came from a breeder as a replacement for a another kitten you bought from her last who died suddenly, so the original breeder - with 15 years breeding experience! - got her friend to provide you with this kitten) well, to be honest, in your position, I would ask the breeder to take the kitten back and say that you'll happily take one from their next litter but that after seeking advice you feel 6 weeks old is just way too young and you'd be looking for your next kitten to be much closer to the 12 week old mark. (personally I'd hold out for the 12 week mark, not any younger). Good breeders (fosterers, rescue centres) do not rehome 6 week old kittens.

This kittens is missing vital socialization with it's mother and siblings. Anything we humans can provide is always going to be second best to what nature intended. And like I said on my other thread, I have tons of experience with rescue kittens and orphans, but even I am not so good at dealing with the inappropriate biting and scratching that orphan kittens often tone. Without my own two cats (who are used to stepping in with fostered orphan kittens) I would be at a total loss.

Some people think in our human terms that 3 or 4 weeks isn't much... but in the life of a very young kitten it's a massive amount of time. The difference in a 6 week old kitten and a 12 week old kitten isn't just size, size is the least of it... the socialization is critical. I can get orphan kittens to a healthy weight, to use litter trays etc, all that is quite easy compared to the "this is how hard you can bite and scratch". In the nest with her mother and siblings, your kitten would bite her brother too hard, he'd bite her back in the same sore way, and that's how she learns her boundaries.


----------



## lynguistic (Apr 8, 2010)

play with her, run with a string around your house(might sound crazy) but when i was a kid raising my kitten i ran around the house for hours having her chase a string behind me, she turned out to be the most loving cat i could of ever asked for, she even gave me kitty kisses


----------



## karamelkittykat (Apr 11, 2010)

thanks guys for the reply, i went to the petshop the other day and bought a bunch of toys and treats, theres this kitbits from whiskas and the guy at the petshop gave me dried fish..but unfortunately she doesnt like any of them..i tried to put it on the tip of my fingers..she would sniff it then just either scratch my fingers or run away. Im getting experated...also i noticed that she would scratch the floor as if she would try to burry the food that i put for her in the bowl..does this mean that she doesnt like the food? i mean she eats it anyways, but after a few bites she would do that act..
i got her like those fish rodes ttoys and she seemed really into it..but sometimes i think shes smart enough to see that my hands are the one controlling it so she attacks my hands..i dont understand..what does this behaviour means? she would sleep sometimes on the bed with me..and jump up to my on my bed in the middle of the morning and tries to scratch my face..and when im walking around in my room she would run hysterically away from me and hide somewhere with her eyes peeking slowly from the corner to watch me..im getting quite sad as i have had her for a month now and shes treating me as if im some kinda sworn enemy
and as for the breeder i emailed her and asked if she could take Ziya(the kittens name) back and let her hang out with her mom and the other 3 growned cats.but no response..im deciding if i should call her. i dont know what to do..im so affected with this..sometimes i wish she could try to understand and give me a chance to warm up to me..
also i notice whenever she starts scratching and biting me thats when she purrs.and when i pick her up and try to cuddle her in my arms she starts to struggle and meow as if i was hurting her..


----------



## MerlinsMum (Aug 2, 2009)

bimbleweb said:


> Letting the little one sleep on your bed is great.


Totally agree with this - for some reason it seems important to cats to sleep with you.... _especially_ if they don't have another cat for company.

I have been known to sleep on the floor for a few nights to bond with a new, shy, kitten! It does work, as you are much less tall & scary when you are lying down, and they learn to trust you very quickly, as you're also very peaceful and calm when you're asleep.


----------



## karamelkittykat (Apr 11, 2010)

I just got her to fall asleep in my arms..as im typing here..shes sleeping on my arms


----------



## lynguistic (Apr 8, 2010)

aww thats sweet =) good going!:thumbup::thumbup:


----------



## Guest (Apr 14, 2010)

Some cats just don't like to be picked up and cuddled my two don't but do choose to come and sit on me and be stroked and sleep on me when they want to, maybe just give her some space and stop picking her up and see if she will come to you.


----------

