# I think I let my cat go to soon



## DonnaF

I am filled with guilt and dread that I let my cat go too soon, she was 16 breathing loud and stopped eating this was 3 months ago.

There was a mass in her larynx with her age and how weak she was having a biopsy could be dangerous and if it was or wasn't cancer there was still nothing they could do due to where the mass was. He put her on steroids which helped her breathing for a while and she started eating again but over the last month it started to get worse to the point she was heavily breathing all the time and eating less and less and sometimes almost choking on what little food she did eat.

A week ago we were worried when her breathing got really bad one evening after we picked her up and I thought we were going to lose her then but it calmed down to the 'normal' laboured breathing. 

2 days ago her breathing seemed worse and she was having to open her mouth to help her breathe, she had also eaten very little over the last week and we noticed that she couldn't seem to settle she wouldn't sit or lay in the same position for more than about 5 minutes, worried that eventually she might not be able to breathe at all, the lack of food and not seeming to settle, we booked her in that afternoon and had her put down, it was all very quick and I still can't get my head around it all.

I keep thinking back and although her breathing was laboured and she wasn't eating much she was still eating a little. She was still drinking, moving around, she could still jump, purr, clean herself (although not as often). She was still alert even trying to hiss at the vet, she was sleeping more and more but would still come outside with us or see what the delivery drivers where dropping off. I couldn't see any visible signs that she was in any distress but I know they are good at hiding it.

I know they say better too soon than too late and the vet seemed to think it was time but he thought that a few months ago but she perked up. 

I just keep going over what if, I'm annoyed with myself for not asking the vet more questions and explaining the positives more, the pain and grief of it all is unbearable especially when I'm wondering if we could have had more time with her, I just feel that she might not have been quite there yet and I've taken that away from her. From the moment we booked her in I didn't feel right about it and I wish I waited, my fear was that she wouldn't die peacefully but I think it may have overshadowed that she wasn't quite there yet.


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## Lurcherlad

Honestly, we all think that afterwards. It’s a normal reaction to a horrible situation.

From what you say, I think you did the right thing and let her go before she showed signs of suffering which, given how stoic cats are will have been when she was really struggling and probably in a lot of pain.

A natural death is rarely peaceful .... if only they all passed in their sleep .... but they rarely do 

So sorry for your loss.


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## Bertie'sMum

I am so sorry for your loss but I agree with @Lurcherlad - I recently lost my little Bertie, he was only 11; he already had congenital heart failure which we were managing OK but then he started vomiting and stopped eating altogether. He also developed a very distended tummy - taking everything into acount the vet did an ultrasound scan and discovered a mass in his stomach. The likelihood was that it was cancer and because of his heart problems he most likely would not have survived the general anaesthetic necessary to surgically investigate. I'm a firm believer in "a week too soon, rather than a week too late" so took the very hard decision to let him go. He went very peacefully laying in my arms - I don't regret my decision because his quality of life was so poor at that stage - it's the last act of love that we can bestow on our pets, to let them go when it is time.

I like to think that he has now joined my other cats at Rainbow Bridge where they are all now happily playing together, no more suffering and no more pain.


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## Jackie C

How you are feeling right now is perfectly normal and natural. Our cats aren't just pets, they are part of the family and the grief is very real. My Holly died three weeks ago, and we're still sad and I still get upset at the thought of her. I still have things running around in my mind, "What if..." "Should we have done...."
As cat guardians, we are also their advocate. We need to know when it's time to say goodbye, it's the hardest thing to do, but it is the last act of love you can do. We want to hold onto them for longer, we still want to hear them purr and be around longer, but we have to put aside our own pain and do what is best for out cat. You did what was best, at the right time. It is better a little too soon than too late, as you say, cats can hide pain and suffering as a survival instinct. Cats do not understand the concept of life and death like us. She would not have understood that the last time she closed her eyes, she wouldn't open them again. 

I am so sorry for your loss, the pain is horrendous, the loss is real, the love they show us and the love we feel is beyond anything. RIP, and run free, sweetheart. xx


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## foxo

Jackie C said:


> How you are feeling right now is perfectly normal and natural. Our cats aren't just pets, they are part of the family and the grief is very real. My Holly died three weeks ago, and we're still sad and I still get upset at the thought of her. I still have things running around in my mind, "What if..." "Should we have done...."
> As cat guardians, we are also their advocate. We need to know when it's time to say goodbye, it's the hardest thing to do, but it is the last act of love you can do. We want to hold onto them for longer, we still want to hear them purr and be around longer, but we have to put aside our own pain and do what is best for out cat. You did what was best, at the right time. It is better a little too soon than too late, as you say, cats can hide pain and suffering as a survival instinct. Cats do not understand the concept of life and death like us. She would not have understood that the last time she closed her eyes, she wouldn't open them again.
> 
> I am so sorry for your loss, the pain is horrendous, the loss is real, the love they show us and the love we feel is beyond anything. RIP, and run free, sweetheart. xx


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## DonnaF

Thank you all for taking the time to reply and I'm so sorry for your loss.
I think I'm finally accepting I done the right thing, just got to get through the grieving process now.


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## TTouch

DonnaF what you are feeling is very normal grief, KNOW you did the right thing for your cat.


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## Kittynanna

I think you absolutely did the right thing, from what you described it was time......

One of the hardest decisions ever, but the right one.

So very sorry for your loss.


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## slw

I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. 

I went through very similar last year. My 15 year old girl had a mass in her larynx. It was removed by my vet, but they weren’t able to take a margin of tissue from around the mass. The larynx is such a tiny area and plays such an important role with breathing and swallowing. 

Anyway, a few weeks after surgery we were back to square one - either the mass had grown back or there were adhesions. Either way she had been through enough and you can’t ask your pet whether they want to go through surgery again. I was advised not to anyway. We said goodbye and it broke my heart. I felt she hadn’t given up either and it still troubles me today. 

I do hope you find peace that you saved your cat from any suffering and surgery - I’m sure she would thank you. It’s hard but your feelings show how much you cared. X


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## lorilu

DonnaF said:


> Thank you all for taking the time to reply and I'm so sorry for your loss.
> I think I'm finally accepting I done the right thing, just got to get through the grieving process now.


When cats struggle to breathe they become deeply stressed, terrified even, even without other pain or suffering. You absolutely did the right thing and I'm glad you are starting to feel better about it. You did right by her all the way to the end.

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## DonnaF

slw said:


> I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.
> 
> I went through very similar last year. My 15 year old girl had a mass in her larynx. It was removed by my vet, but they weren't able to take a margin of tissue from around the mass. The larynx is such a tiny area and plays such an important role with breathing and swallowing.
> 
> Anyway, a few weeks after surgery we were back to square one - either the mass had grown back or there were adhesions. Either way she had been through enough and you can't ask your pet whether they want to go through surgery again. I was advised not to anyway. We said goodbye and it broke my heart. I felt she hadn't given up either and it still troubles me today.
> 
> I do hope you find peace that you saved your cat from any suffering and surgery - I'm sure she would thank you. It's hard but your feelings show how much you cared. X


Thank you for your kind words and I'm so sorry for your loss and what you have been through, 3 weeks on and it's still very painful and although I now feel it was the right decision I think that decision will always haunt me but at least it saved her from any further pain and suffering.

I hope you have also found peace that you done the right thing for your cat and you're right we are feeling this way because we cared so much.


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## Luckysdad

I'm so sorry for your loss, the fact that you are feeling guilty and worry that you let her go to soo shows that you are a caring owner.
I can only speak from my own experience with my previous cats, but you probably made the right decision for her. 
One of my previous cats, Blanche, had tumours and we tried everything to get her better for months up till the point where our vet took us to the side and told us that we had tried enough and that it was time to let her go. I still sometimes wonder if that was the right decision, but now that time has passed I know and accept that it was.
It's hard to let them go, but sometimes we have to.


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## Colliebarmy

Three Rescues In Our Life.....




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Colliebarmy


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Sep 27, 2012




Glen, Tilly and Maddy...





I shall forever wonder what if....

What if he had a few more days, maybe a week?

But he was not eating, faltering in his steps, his bladder was leaking, he had been ill 6 months, his January ECG showed CHF

He picked in Jan on his new meds, he took to his renal food, but at the end of April he was going downhill

may 28th we said goodbye in a gentle, painless, orderly way, with us holding him tight....

Im sure back in jan the vet thought he had only a month, but he made it to 5 months almost


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## CCD

Aww I’m so sorry for ur loss. I had to get my dog put down on Monday, and I’ve been thinking the same. What if she could have got better? But it is for the best, she sounded like she was getting to the end of her life and this way she didn’t go suffering x


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## Happy Paws2

I'm sorry for your loss. We all go though the, should I had done this or should we have done that when we say Goodbye to our beloved pets it's natural but in your heart you know in your heart you did the right thing for her. Be kind to yourself and remember the happy time you shared. X


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## Colliebarmy

There is never a right time, but i do know now why people say they tell you, both glen and maddie gave me a look that said they had had enough


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