# Absolutely Heartbroken



## Jamie Young (Jun 19, 2021)

So this morning I had the biggest shock of my life, my beautiful baby of just over a year old. I found dead in the garden shed. I checked him over for any obvious marks but found nothing. My mind bongles on and on with what could’ve possibly happened to him. Maybe internal injuries from being hit from a car, maybe heart issues or maybe the rumours of one of our neighbours being a poisoner is true. I don’t know if I want to lay him peacefully to rest or get a post mortem done to found out exactly what’s happened, 

completely heartbroken 

R.I.P Cosmo


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## Jackie C (Feb 16, 2016)

I am so sorry for your loss. I am assuming your sweet baby is a cat? His death is very very raw and new for you right now, the shock of find him must have been dreadful. The pain is at its worse and you simply don't know what to do, I understand that. Right now, you want answers. I get that.

Cat poisoning does happen, sometimes accidental, sometimes on purpose. But it is still relatively uncommon. But an RTA is far more common and far more likely. We lost our beautiful Holly just over a month ago, she was hit by a cat, but we at least know what happened. I don't think I would want to know if my cat was poisoned, because if she was, I know I would be angry beyond anything I'd ever been angry about before. I know it would eat me up inside to know that some evil person did that to her. I dread to think how I would feel or act if I had an idea who it was.
Often cats who have been run over by a car will try and get home, and have injuries that are internal and can't be seen from the outside. A few x-rays might shed light if he had injuries. To check for poisoning might not be easy and would possibly cost a lot of money, as a post-mortem might not show obvious signs. You might not get an answer. Even x-rays in themselves cost a lot.

The decision to investigate the cause of death is a personal one that everyone will have a different opinion on to you. It's your decision to take. Ask yourself, how would you feel if you found out it was poison? Would it help your pain? Would it make it worse by adding anger into your grief?

I found my grief was helped by having a small personal service to say "goodbye" to my Holly. We had her cremated, and couple of weeks later, we planted a holly bush and buried the ashes in with the bush and added a few ornaments and we will be adding a plaque with her photo on. I don't wish to dwell on her death, I want to remember her when she was alive and the joy she brought us. Whilst the manner of her death will always stay with us, I know the joy of her life will live longer and grow stronger.

Remember to allow yourself to grieve. Cats are more than "just a pet", they are part of the family, they are a good friend who shows us love beyond words. Our grief for them is strong and hard.

RIP, run free Cosmo, sweet boy.


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## Lumboo (Mar 31, 2011)

Jamie, I am so sorry for your loss. It's absolutely heartbreaking. 

Like Jackie, when my cat Wilbur died, we had him cremated and his ashes now sit on the piano, because he absolutely loved listening to music.

Cosmo came home to you, which shows that even though he was only a year old, he wanted to be in his safe place with you, because you were his comfort.

Please take heart from that fact xx


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

What a terrible shock to find such a young cat has passed away. A vet may be able to tell you without too much investigation that Cosmo was hit by a car; they can tell, apparently because their claws are scuffed. My little Trilby, a housecat, was clearly in pain, took her to the vet who said she had been hit by a car and that her pelvis was fractured. I said it was impossible as she was a housecat but three vets at the same practice looked at her feet and said ''RTA''. No-one knows how she got out and back without being seen. Your cat would make his way back to a place of safety, his home, as long as he was able, even though he was fatally injured. RIP Cosmo.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

@Jamie Young ETA: If your cat had been deliberately poisoned (or accidentally, eg ingesting a toxic plant) I am fairly sure there would be signs of illness beforehand - vomiting, salivating, inappetence and general malaise. Poor little chap, you must be devastated.


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## Jamie Young (Jun 19, 2021)

Calvine said:


> @Jamie Young ETA: If your cat had been deliberately poisoned (or accidentally, eg ingesting a toxic plant) I am fairly sure there would be signs of illness beforehand - vomiting, salivating, inappetence and general malaise. Poor little chap, you must be devastated.


Thank you for your kind words, he was out of the house for 3 days before we found him, but for our cats that's normal to go off for several days and come back, so we actually don't know if he was un-well or not. Heartbreaking it really is but I have arranged a post mortem for him. Other wise my heart will never be at rest


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## Jamie Young (Jun 19, 2021)

Lumboo said:


> Jamie, I am so sorry for your loss. It's absolutely heartbreaking.
> 
> Like Jackie, when my cat Wilbur died, we had him cremated and his ashes now sit on the piano, because he absolutely loved listening to music.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much,

Very kind words x


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Jamie Young said:


> Thank you for your kind words, he was out of the house for 3 days before we found him, but for our cats that's normal to go off for several days and come back, so we actually don't know if he was un-well or not. Heartbreaking it really is but I have arranged a post mortem for him. Other wise my heart will never be at rest


I used to feed a beautiful Maine Coon for a friend, heard from them last week that Jax had died. Apparently he walked into the room, gave a ''funny little cough'' and collapsed and died with no other warning at all. He had been fit and well, and eating and behaving normally; he was 18 months old. As young as Cosmo was, it could indeed have been a heart attack. I hope the vet will give you answers which put your mind at rest one way or another.


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## Jamie Young (Jun 19, 2021)

Calvine said:


> I used to feed a beautiful Maine Coon for a friend, heard from them last week that Jax had died. Apparently he walked into the room, gave a ''funny little cough'' and collapsed and died with no other warning at all. He had been fit and well, and eating and behaving normally; he was 18 months old. As young as Cosmo was, it could indeed have been a heart attack. I hope the vet will give you answers which put your mind at rest one way or another.


I really hope so, I'm just struggling to come to grips with the situation. I just miss him so much


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## Jamie Young (Jun 19, 2021)

Jackie C said:


> I am so sorry for your loss. I am assuming your sweet baby is a cat? His death is very very raw and new for you right now, the shock of find him must have been dreadful. The pain is at its worse and you simply don't know what to do, I understand that. Right now, you want answers. I get that.
> 
> Cat poisoning does happen, sometimes accidental, sometimes on purpose. But it is still relatively uncommon. But an RTA is far more common and far more likely. We lost our beautiful Holly just over a month ago, she was hit by a cat, but we at least know what happened. I don't think I would want to know if my cat was poisoned, because if she was, I know I would be angry beyond anything I'd ever been angry about before. I know it would eat me up inside to know that some evil person did that to her. I dread to think how I would feel or act if I had an idea who it was.
> Often cats who have been run over by a car will try and get home, and have injuries that are internal and can't be seen from the outside. A few x-rays might shed light if he had injuries. To check for poisoning might not be easy and would possibly cost a lot of money, as a post-mortem might not show obvious signs. You might not get an answer. Even x-rays in themselves cost a lot.
> ...


cats are certainly more then "just a pet" they're truly a family member, this loss is horrible. Thank you for your kind words x


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## Jackie C (Feb 16, 2016)

Jamie Young said:


> Thank you for your kind words, he was out of the house for 3 days before we found him, but for our cats that's normal to go off for several days and come back, so we actually don't know if he was un-well or not. Heartbreaking it really is but I have arranged a post mortem for him. Other wise my heart will never be at rest


If he had been poisoned, he would have felt very poorly for a couple of days, showing signs of being very ill and would have come home long before he was dying. I think the clues say he was sadly the victim of an RTA. 
Obviously, it's still very upsetting, but I think you can be reassured that it's highly unlikely he was poisoned. 
But if a PM will help you, that's your decision.



Jamie Young said:


> I really hope so, I'm just struggling to come to grips with the situation. I just miss him so much


It's still very raw for you. I was crying for days after my baby was run over, as it happens so quickly. It's not as if they're old, had a great long life and you can see them slow down (although it's still very hard when they've gone as well, obviously). I still miss her, I still "see" her out of the corner of my eye, I still "hear" a noise and think it's her. I still walk past the bedroom and think I'll pop my head round the door to see what she's doing. It's only a second, but it happens.

Give yourself time to heal and permission to grieve. Cosmo was a member of your family, love is love.

I read this and I found it useful:
http://theralphsiteshop.com/moving-forward-not-moving-on/#comments


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## Jamie Young (Jun 19, 2021)

I don’t know if this notifies everyone but I thought I’d post a little update. I did go down the root of sorting a post mortem out for him. We did have confusion though. We found him on the Saturday Morning and I rung up my out of hours vet. She told me that post mortem couldn’t do the procedure or even contacted until the Monday. I believed that and went on with it and took him in to be put into cold storage as advised by the vet too. 

today I got a phone call from a different member of staff at the same vet saying that she couldn’t get hold of the post mortem people and said that might not be able to do one as he’d been kept in cold storage which the post mortem people doesn’t recommend and say that they’d ideally like the body to be fresh and taking in same day which if I knew I probably would have done.

In other words they wanted £320 for the post mortem to be completed and the down side was that they’d for some reason need him to be cremated, which we didn’t want and that would’ve cost an extra £100. So me and my family have decided we didn’t want that and put us through my grief and especially Cosmo and to get him back and bury peacefully for a final time.

I’m full of emotions right now and feel like it’s my fault for putting him through all of this but this is what I got advised from a “professional vet” and I was too gullible to believe it. At the moment we’re all still devastated but at least we know we can get him back and he can be at peace where he belongs. Yes, we didn’t get the answers we wanted but we’ve got to accept sometimes in life you can’t get the answers you seek.

R.I.P Cosmo, we all love you so much and you’ll forever remain a special place in all of our hearts. 

Love you loads mate x


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## Jackie C (Feb 16, 2016)

Sorry to hear you got mixed messages from the vet.

Cosmo will always have a place in your heart. You could find a corner in your garden and call it Cosmo's Corner. You could bury him there and plant a bush or something and have a little ceremony to say goodbye to him. I found that helped me a great deal, and when I sit in the garden, I look at her corner and although I still feel sad, I smile at the joy and love she brought us.

Here is the thread with the photos of her plant pot: https://bit.ly/3zKH6Dm


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

It's a shame that you could not get the answers you would have liked. At least he will be home with you at last. RIP dear chap.


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