# I miss my boy...



## ZoeM (Jul 16, 2015)

Three weeks ago, I was spending the last few days with my boy, making it his best few days before I could have the vet come out and help me say goodbye. It is still so so so hard. It's a physical horrendous ache that has hit me out of nowhere today so I have written a little poem for him. My Snafu, Sir Snafu.

I miss my boy, my life, my friend.
I wished your life would never end.
I fixed the pain whenever I could.
Now of that, you're free, I guess that is good

You seemed so tired, you got so slow,
Your muscles lost, your bones did show.
A limping stead, and aching teeth,
Didn't hinder your birthday, you made your 18th!

Just one more year, that's all I asked.
But month by month, the pain you masked.
Your raucous greeting when I came home
Grew quieter until I could no longer moan,
That you shouted at me when you wanted fed.
Or your bottom wiped, or you wanted your bed.

I'd do anything now to hear that strident mew.
Please wake me up 4 or 2.
With the retch of a hair ball being vomited up.
Or your bum in my face - an extreme closeup.
Please scatter your litter all over the floor.
I'll kiss every inch of you, kiss every paw.

Finding your fur on my clothes now just makes me cry.
There aren't enough words in a simple goodbye.
Because now, there's a space where once you did lay.
And your box, on the couch, I can't put away.

Rest in Peace Snafu, Tolerant grandfather to feral kittens, friend to the timid, patient brother to Mara, best friend to the human.









The best kitten in the unexpected litter and the last of his line.








Best buddies, now together








Before the cat flap was invented








Trying to figure out the cat flap (it took him a year)








Snaf in a box








Friend to the timid








My best friend


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## cava14 una (Oct 21, 2008)

RIP gorgeous boy. Sorry for your loss


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## Bertie'sMum (Mar 27, 2017)

@ZoeM 
so very sorry to hear that Sir Snafu has gone to Rainbow Bridge - it's been one year and 7 weeks since old Harrycat went to the bridge and I still miss him; like you I wasn't ready and wanted just one more year. They say that "time heals" - it doesn't really but it does take away that deep hurt and replaces it with memories of better, happier times.

RIP handsome boy.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Sorry to hear of your sad loss; he was lovely.


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## Citruspips (Jul 6, 2011)

Lovely words they have brought tears to my eyes.


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## Matrod (Dec 22, 2014)

It’s so bloody hard isn’t it  such lovely words & a tribute to Sir Snaf xx


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## oliviarussian (Sep 2, 2010)

Lovely tribute to Snaf, sleep tight precious boy xx


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## ZoeM (Jul 16, 2015)

Thank you everyone.

It is so bloody hard @Matrod It's like someone has ripped a piece of me away. I can't stand coming home. It's just so empty and quiet. Though Mara is here, she's never one to show much affection or even come downstairs to greet me. I am desperate to fill that gap.


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

I'm so sorry precious Sir Snafu has gone to sleep. He was such a beautiful boy. Even though we have other cats, there's a big hole left when one goes. Sweet dreams Sir Snafu xx


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

So sad  Beautiful words and precious memories of your darling boy


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## ZoeM (Jul 16, 2015)

Thank you @lymorelynn x


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## Bella's Human (Mar 14, 2018)

I'm sorry for your loss


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## SpencerK (Apr 15, 2012)

My heart goes out to you - its hard, awfully hard, I know.  He was a gorgeous boy xx


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## ZoeM (Jul 16, 2015)

Thank you all xxx


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## BlessedbyJack (Feb 23, 2011)

I'm so sorry for your loss its so unbelievable painful, my mum and I are going through terrible grief we lost our baby Jack a few days ago.
Your poem is beautiful tribute to your baby. RIP Sir Snafu x


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## ZoeM (Jul 16, 2015)

BlessedbyJack said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss its so unbelievable painful, my mum and I are going through terrible grief we lost our baby Jack a few days ago.
> Your poem is beautiful tribute to your baby. RIP Sir Snafu x


Thank you so much @BlessedbyJack I am so sorry for your loss too. I have just seen your posts about Jack and I can understand your pain. My other boy went downhill very quickly and though I realised he was poorly, it was still a shock at the vets. I am unutterably grateful that I could let Snafu rest at home but I know that's not always an option for others and I feel for them.

Your boy had a fantastic life and I know it doesn't make it easier on your heart when you are missing him so immensely, but his long life is a testament to your great love and care for him. Hang onto the good memories, look at old pictures, and talk of all the silliness he got up to in his healthier earlier times. My Snafu was a clumsy soft-hearted boy who wasn't the brightest of sparks, and after a few weeks, already I find the pain of his passing easing into the memories I was so lucky to have of him. With so much love to you and your Mum xxxx


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## ZoeM (Jul 16, 2015)

Happy Birthday to my gorgeous boy who would have been 19 today.

I was so close to having you for that extra year, but it would have been a painful and uncomfortable last few weeks. I'm glad you're at rest now. The memories of you are slowly being replaced to the deafening meow that greeted me when I got in from work. You'd clearly not been fed for weeks and had to tell me so. Your deafness broke my heart, but it made you a more chilled out cat, less startled by naughty foster kittens breaking things, and less jumpy when visitors were rowdy. To me though, your increasing deafness stole my friend from me and I had to admit I was talking to myself when I addressed you. No longer did you answer me. It took me some time to realise you weren't being ignorant, you'd never been an ignorant cat - apart from when I returned from holiday or had to take you to the vets. Sorry to leave you with others. You were my boy and I know it was my lap you loved best of all, even if I encouraged you to share your love with friends.

You turned me from a dog person to a cat person, and you changed our friend from indifferent to adoring. You were a cat in a million. When she sat down and confessed to how bad a time she was having she began to cry and you padded over to her and settled on her lap. The expression on her face was something I will never forget. You purred your healing purrs and she tentatively stroked your head. From then on she was your willing slave, and a year ago today, she turned up at the house with wrapped gifts that you were too old to fully appreciate. Your humans enjoyed the cake though and you the cat treats and tuna I knew you loved.

I miss you so much Snaf. You are irreplaceable and today my heart aches with loss.


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## Forester (Dec 2, 2012)

What a lovely tribute to a much loved friend. He will never leave you Zoe, he'll always be there in your heart.

RIP Sir Snaf.


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## BlessedbyJack (Feb 23, 2011)

What a lovely post and beautiful photo of your boy Snafu, he was such a handsome boy Zoe and your post is full of the love that you gave to Snafu and that bond is always going to be there. I believe the love and special bond we have with our furbabies can never be broken even when they are taken to Rainbow bridge where I'm sure he is having a happy birthday with his friends, I know our Jack will look after him and our Beckham will too...
I know how much the aching hurts my mum and I have it too, just be kind to yourself and remember I'm thinking of you xx

Sorry forgot to say big thank you for your reply on Sunday I thought I'd replied back but don't know what I'm doing half the time at the moment...but thanks again xx


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## ZoeM (Jul 16, 2015)

Thank you @Forester and @BlessedbyJack for your kind words xx


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

I’m so sorry. Hugs! RIP Snafu


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

So sorry for your loss


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