# my cat doesn't like us or want to be petted!



## regattah

We got our cat from a rescue centre as a kitten and we've now had him for over a year. He'd probably been taken from his mum too soon as he would always want to suckle on our clothes or the sofa throws whenever we were 'allowed' the honour of petting him for a brief moment. He doesn't do the sucking thing anymore, probably because I stopped him from doing it whenever he tried. He did get cross with me and I'm sure it's made the affection thing even worse. He will allow us to stroke him only for a very short time before he moves away, he's never once in his life climbed on anyone's knee and won't stay there if you lift him on. He's also a real hunter, but never brings us his presents, he just leaves them in the garden (not that that's a bad thing)! Is it too late to encourage emotional attachment? 
I'd really appreciate some advice!


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## Siamese Kelly

Just everything on his terms at the moment,if he allows you pet him as you have for short periods and don't try to push him for anything more,also if you pet him by his head first try and pet him from his side or just his back,sometimes as with people it takes a while and sometimes full on "on ya lap" affection just isn't for themJust chat to him as your going about the house and let him come to you and if he doesn't thats okay tooHas your lad been neutered and does he go out?


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## regattah

thanks for responding. In answer to your questions, yes, he has been neutered and yes, he does go out. Infact he spends most of his time outside.


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## Guest

I think it really depends on the individual cat.

I know alot of people that really do believe that all cats are cuddly and affectionate and are lap cats, when that isn't always the case.

Not all cats enjoy LOTS of attention or to sit on peoples laps.
We all know cats are very independent animals and everything like petting and cuddles etc is normally pretty much always on their terms.

I have 2 cats who are now just over 2 years old, neither of them will sit on your lap and never have. Yes, they love lots of cuddles and petting. Bailey accepts all this attention all the time, he will never walk off or not want it... he is very cuddly, but still wont sit on our lap. With Cleo... she only wants cuddles when she wants them, otherwise she just walks off.

I also often find kittens or young cats are just too preoccupied with life to want to sit around too much. When they get older I personally find they tend to then get more affectionate and sit around for cuddles alot more.


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## Siamese Kelly

Being that he's an outsider cat,maybe something has happened with another local cat thats scared himHe's a little older and as with us humans,cats change too and so your still learning each others little quirks and this may be one of hisOur old man moggie Noodles is pretty predictable but he still does surprise us on the rare occasion he gets a spurty and a mind too


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## LousKoonz

As some have already said not all cats are lap cats and i have a couple that wouldn't sit on your lap, but will have a fuss on their terms xx

my oldest mog isn't a lapcat and was a bonefied hunter until he had to become an indoor plus cat proof fenced garden cat x he'd rather only talk to me when he wants feeding but more occasionally as he's gotten older he comes for a fuss and even curls up on bed when we're in it now (5 minutes later he gets bored and gets off though lol) xx

Some cats are just more independent than others, but give him time and persevere, as he ages he may get better hun  xx


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## Janee

My semi feral is not and never will be a lap cat. 

She adopted us, and slowly got used to coming indoors. She got great pleasure from snuggling up to our neutered Maine coon, but she only tolerated males in my family touching her. She did not want me to touch her even though I fed her.

Since the death of my MC she changed. My boys were at uni, and she wanted affection but on her terms. She slowly allowed me to stroke her but no way would she come to sit on my lap.

That is an extreme.

I have since adopted 2 MC adults. The female is cuddly and sits on laps, wants fuss and sleeps on the end of the bed.

The male will tolerate stroking, will come and nuzzle in the middle of the night but much prefers male company. He will actively seek to sit on son's lap while at PC and will climb up onto my husband's shoulders.


All cats are different and they all have the capacity to change, if they want to.


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## deedeedee

Hi - I have a MC who wont let us stroke her and wont sit on our laps but she will lay on me when we are in bed but not my OH.  she even ducks if we try to stroke her and does the limbo under our hand  lol but loves her grooming sessions and will lay for ages getting brushed. 

Our Siberian kitty is the total opposite and is so affectionate.. 

suppose they are all different.
D x


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## sskmick

I have two brothers both complete opposites, one demands attention. He is content to be with me all the time. If I put him down he comes back purring and rubbing his head on me, well how can you resist.

The other one is a little more independent shall we say. I have to stroke him as he is passing. He will only let me hold him for a short time.

In fact I held him in my arms a bit too long yesterday and he struggled so violently he flipped out of my arms, did a backwards somersault and landed on his neck, fortunately he was okay.

Sue


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## jeanie

I have two rescue cats both were ferels, one has come round to us stroking her but the other wont let us touch her at all, , you may just get one quick stroke if shes not looking but thats as far as we can go with her, they are both indoor cats and we have had them 3 years now, we can leave the doors windows open but none will attempt to go outside i think they maybe think they will have to stay outside again like before when they were abused by everyone the CPL said, im pleased though as i would worry so much if they wandered off , Lilly the softest one has to attend vet every 3 mths as she has allergys , and daisy just whales terrible till we bring her back, even trying to get frontline on daisy is bad it takes ages but none are nasty they never bite or scratch just wriggle so much to get down and meow really loud and Daisy will pee if we dont let go of her, but they are both loved very much.


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## Gidjacat

I just rescued a feral cat. I've had him indoors for about 3 weeks. I've made some inroads and for a while he was accepted petting, even purring. He accepts treats and even played a little bit with a catnip mouse that I wiggled around for him.

For some reason, for the past 3 days he does not want to be touched and hisses. I tried wiggling the catnip mouse and struck out violently (but didn't get me). 

He is eating, using his litterbox. His eyes are bright and clear. I wonder if something else is wrong -- maybe he used his scratching pad and tore at a nail a little bit? Something might be sore or off?

I'm concerned because he's due for his Revolution treatment in a week, and as it is, I can't get close enough to administer it.

I'll give him some space for a few days and see if he improves. If it becomes obvious that something is wrong, then I'll have to wrestle him into a carrier and get him to the vet.

Any thoughts?


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## Clare7435

Not al cats like being close and friendly and that's perfectly natural....Tilly allows me 10 minutes at half five in the morning when I have my first cuppa and other than that it's petting and cuddles on his terms...it depends on how many treats I have in my pocket and wether he knows it's lunch time lol. He's more than loving with my sister though...when she visits he's on her like a rat up a drainpipe...she has 2 cats and is one of these pople who spoils her cats in all the wrong ways and they're little monsters so maybe he picks up on this and thinks he can get his own way with her.

Clare xx


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## Gidjacat

Thanks, Clare7435, for the reassurance.

My little guy really surprised me. I did give him a few treats last night, and he jumped up, out of his corner (where he's been staying for the past 3 weeks), rubbed his chin on the corner of the wall, my chair, and me! Came out, ate his dinner. Stretched and yawned, and back to his corner.

Not bad for a feral cat in captivity for only 3 weeks! So apparently I need to give him his space, and let him come to me.


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## NEW2CATS

one of my cats doesnt like to be fussed either.
however the one time she will let me stroke her is when she is eating. so i always get my little strokes in then.


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