# Scared of my own dog



## JulieGa (Jun 15, 2017)

hello, trying to get some advice on what i should do. 
I own a 15 month old cross breed he is a american bulldog cross labrador and I am scared of him. 
I know it sounds very strange and when i tell peopel this they think im odd. Ive lived with dogs all my life but never an aggressive one. It all started when he was around 5 month old and he bit me for me trying to get him off the sofa. He will nip me and bite me daily, sometimes in an aggressive way sometimes in a playful way. I have tried literally every training method under the sun to stop this behaviour, i'm constantly covered in bruises from him. If he acts aggressive towards me with anything i ask him to do I tend to give up at the fear of being bitten. 

I struggle to look him in the eyes or i feel hugely uncomforable when he stares at me. I often feel like he's staring me down. 
I feel he has no respect for me and hes probably acting the way he is because of the nervous behaviour I give towards him. 

it all came to a head yesterday, all i did was walk past him and without a warning or a growl or anything he lunged at me and i was too scared to come out of my bedroom for around an hour. Eventually I came out and he was sat in his bed, tail wagging and came over to me for a smooth. Even when he comes over for a smooth or a bit of affection I feel like he always has this look in his eye that he could snap at me at any second and I find it really hard to trust him. 

I do love him despite all of this and i would love for it to work out but i don't see that happening. I don't honestly think i am the right owner for him. I feel hugely sad about it because i have failed this dog. Do you think there is anyway around this even though im so fearful of him? 

He has been to the vet and has been checked over to see if the aggression was due to ill health, it is not. I feel like the only thing I can do is hand him over to someone who could make his life better and him less fearful/aggressive. 

Please help me, im at my wits end.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Get a vet referral to a good behaviourist. One who uses positive, reward based methods.

If you say your rough location someone will recommend one, I'm sure.


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

If he's been to the vets and been checked over, to make sure it's not medical. The next best thing would be for the vets to refer you to a behaviourist 

Many behaviourists, good ones do not advertise, and a behaviourist would give you a better understanding of the breed and why your dog acts the way he does. Ways to help you and him. Giving you perspective can definitely help things.

Behaviourists, especially those referred by vets can often be claimed on insurance policies, so hopefully this can be done in your case if you are insured.


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## JulieGa (Jun 15, 2017)

I don't know if i want that. I feel like i should just give him up all together as how can i get over my fear of him? i really do not trust him


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## JulieGa (Jun 15, 2017)

I'm in Exeter, Devon.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

JulieGa said:


> I don't know if i want that. I feel like i should just give him up all together as how can i get over my fear of him? i really do not trust him


Well, it's possible you are not reading his body language correctly and he is not being aggressive so much as over zealous and badly behaved. Using incorrect methods to manage a dog can lead to these issues, however, with the right advice and training things could change.

As for him staring you down, dogs dislike direct eye contact.

I think you owe it to him (and yourself) to at least have the situation assessed. However, only you can decide if you are prepared to do this.

The trouble is you can't pass him on without being honest and if you say he is aggressive then he will struggle to find a good home.


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## JulieGa (Jun 15, 2017)

I think you're right just struggling with it all today


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## kimthecat (Aug 11, 2009)

I would contact a behaviorist as soon as possible I don't personally know these people but they trained with COAPE and use Positive reinforcement .
http://www.petmattersdevon.co.uk/index.php

I did a search for your area and some trainers came up, dog whisperer types which I would avoid .


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## Rott lover (Jan 2, 2015)

A behaviorist wont only deal with his behavior but also you and you your fear and confidence


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

If you are frightened, he will be picking that up. At the moment, it's a vicious cycle as the more fearful and jumpy you get, the more nervy and snappy he is likely to be. Contact a good behaviourist asap - they can help both you and your dog, and you may find that just by listening to what they have to say, you start to feel more in control and less fearful. If after taking that step, you still feel you can't cope, you can consider rehoming. But at least see what the behaviourist has to say first.


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## Blitz (Feb 12, 2009)

I am not sure you can rehome him. To rehome privately would be irresponsible and most rescues will not take on an aggressive dog or if they do he will languish in kennels for years unless that perfect person comes along who has the experience and the desire to work with him.


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## Guest (Jun 15, 2017)

JulieGa said:


> hello, trying to get some advice on what i should do.
> I own a 15 month old cross breed he is a american bulldog cross labrador and I am scared of him.
> I know it sounds very strange and when i tell peopel this they think im odd. Ive lived with dogs all my life but never an aggressive one. It all started when he was around 5 month old and he bit me for me trying to get him off the sofa. He will nip me and bite me daily, sometimes in an aggressive way sometimes in a playful way. I have tried literally every training method under the sun to stop this behaviour, i'm constantly covered in bruises from him. If he acts aggressive towards me with anything i ask him to do I tend to give up at the fear of being bitten.
> 
> ...


It does sound like you're overdogged. 
I'm going to go against the grain and agree with you that you are probably not the right home for him. No shame in that at all, not all dogs and owners are a compatible match, it happens.

I do agree with getting a hold of a credentialed behaviorist - not a dog whisperer type, in order to have him assessed. If he is just an obnoxious teen he may indeed find a good home with someone more experienced, something the behaviorist should be able to help you with too.


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## MiffyMoo (Sep 15, 2015)

I was in your position with my boy last year. Thankfully I got a great behaviourist in, and got a few hard truths. Basically my boy is very insecure and easily gets overwhelmed; I was failing him by not reading him properly and his stress was building and building. The fact that I was a wreck around him was making it so much worse. Now we're great and he's my little guy who, rather than turning on me when he's scared, will come and have a little lean against me or, more recently, is coming and snuggling up for me to rub his tummy until he feels a little better.

As @ouesi said, you are outdogged at the moment, as I was, and I really felt that I had let him down.

Give both of you a break by getting a professional in as a first step, and you will be able to make an informed decision with the help of someone who knows exactly what they're talking about.

I had good feedback from my bitch that he was a good guy. She hates strangers in her home, but this photo was taken about 5 minutes after he arrived


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## cbcdesign (Jul 3, 2014)

Dogs don't trust people that are scared of them and you unfortunately allowed your dog to get the upper hand when you wanted him off the sofa and tried to exert force to do so rather than using a positive method. Ever since he bit you the relationship has been a poor one. I agree with the others, get an expert behaviourist to help you. They can see how you interact with the dog and help teach you how to interact with him properly and how to correct unwanted behaviour using positive methods. If you are not willing to do that rehoming is the other option but I would advise you to try the behaviourist first. You will probably surprise yourself!


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Sorry to hear this Julie; it's a hard situation to be in. There are a lot of knowledgeable people on the forum and hopefully one will be along before long to give you advice, and a recommendation for your area. You sound so depressed that I feel really sorry for you.


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## smokeybear (Oct 19, 2011)

If you are scared of your dog you will not be able to move forward. You may find that a couple of weeks break might help if you can find someone to either kennel or foster him when you can take stock and evaluate the stress you have been under. Often it is only when the stressor is removed that you will realise how much stress you are under and if you wish to carry on. This behaviour is going to get stronger, as this dog "grows" and if you do not do something now you may live to regret it.


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## kimthecat (Aug 11, 2009)

MiffyMoo said:


> I was in your position with my boy last year. Thankfully I got a great behaviourist in, and got a few hard truths. Basically my boy is very insecure and easily gets overwhelmed; I was failing him by not reading him properly and his stress was building and building. The fact that I was a wreck around him was making it so much worse. Now we're great and he's my little guy who, rather than turning on me when he's scared, will come and have a little lean against me or, more recently, is coming and snuggling up for me to rub his tummy until he feels a little better.


Amazing .  how did you find this guy ?


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## MiffyMoo (Sep 15, 2015)

kimthecat said:


> Amazing .  how did you find this guy ?


He's registered with one of these behaviourist organisations, which are the only two that Petplan pay out on:

Association of Pet Behaviour Counsellors

• Canine and Feline Behaviour Association


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## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

Where abouts are you?
If we know where you are then a behaviourist can be recommended 
Once the behaviourist has assessed your boy then you can work out if you are able to work with him or if he is best rehomed.

If you are going to rehome him then please work with a rescue and don't rehome him privately.


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

StormyThai said:


> Where abouts are you?
> If we know where you are then a behaviourist can be recommended
> Once the behaviourist has assessed your boy then you can work out if you are able to work with him or if he is best rehomed.
> 
> If you are going to rehome him then please work with a rescue and don't rehome him privately.


OP said in an earlier post that she's in Exeter.

I'd second the plea not to rehome privately - my girl was privately rehomed by her original owners via a 'good home wanted' ad in the paper - she went to someone who abused her horrifically and was then going to have her destroyed when he got tired of her - it's taken years to undo the damage and she still has issues.


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## cbcdesign (Jul 3, 2014)

StormyThai said:


> If you are going to rehome him then please work with a rescue and don't rehome him privately.


Yep I too think that is a must. A reputable rescue has the experience to property assess the dogs temperament.


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