# Can't come to terms with my cat Gizmo passing



## richardmartin1961 (Apr 15, 2014)

Hi all,

First time I have ever posted on this forum, but just cannot get my head together.

My best pal in the whole world died last night suddenly. He was all cuddled up with me purring away, and then he jumped off as he normally does, and went into another room. I went in tht room about 10 minutes later to get something and he was lying on the floor in an awkward position. I rushed over to him, and when I got to him, he made a little cough, and exhaled, and stopped breathing.

My mind when blank, and all I could do was yell. I phoned my wife and suggested I go to a neighbors which I did and they rushed me to the local vets. It was very much too late. He had died in the house. I knew he had gone, but I was cuddling his lifeless body all the way to the vets, stroking him and telling him to hang on.

He had had a heart attack at the age of 2.5 years old. I had him from 16 weeks old, and he was the most affectionate, friendly, cuddly cat I have ever had. I just refuse to believe he has gone, and am devastated.

I have a second cat who is his brother, so am just trying to focus on him, but I have a baby on the way in 6 weeks, and always thought our kids will grow up with our two little kitties, and they would live till at least 20 years old. Its just so not fair that he has been taken from me at only 2 years of age.


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## Dianne58 (Feb 22, 2014)

Awww sweetheart how awful for you  you are probably in shock at the moment  I wish I had a magic wand to take away your pain  he was so young as well  which I think makes it harder for you :001_wub: try and concentrate on his brother and remember him with love and fond memories x x x


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## richardmartin1961 (Apr 15, 2014)

Thanks for the reply Dianne.

I'm sat here with Oscar (his brother) on my lap, he seems ok for now, but its in the evenings they normally played together.

I just really cannot believe he is gone. We left him at the vets last night as I was so devastated. For some reason I've hoped they were going to call and say he has woken up - silly I know, but it's all I can cling on to. I need to call them to instruct them on what to do with the body. Its just really not fair, I'm a 30 year old man, and I can't stop crying. My little friend has gone. I feel so angry as well!


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## Dianne58 (Feb 22, 2014)

richardmartin1961 said:


> Thanks for the reply Dianne.
> 
> I'm sat here with Oscar (his brother) on my lap, he seems ok for now, but its in the evenings they normally played together.
> 
> I just really cannot believe he is gone. We left him at the vets last night as I was so devastated. For some reason I've hoped they were going to call and say he has woken up - silly I know, but it's all I can cling on to. I need to call them to instruct them on what to do with the body. Its just really not fair, I'm a 30 year old man, and I can't stop crying. My little friend has gone. I feel so angry as well!


You are angry because you have been denied all those years with your lovely fur baby :001_wub: but with time it will get better :001_wub: are you having him cremated? as you could scatter him in the garden where he used to play? that's what I did with my dogs poppy and pebbles :001_wub: and then I planted a rose in the garden in their memory :001_wub: don't be afraid to cry it is a testament to how much you loved him x x x


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## Acrophylla (Apr 16, 2008)

It may be too late, but if you can, I strongly recommend you bring the body home and let Oscar see it, so he knows for sure that his brother has died. He can then grieve too and won't go searching for his missing brother. When I have buried cats in the garden, the other cats always watch, usually from a distance, and then go the grave afterwards when they think I am not watching.
And don't feel bad about getting so upset, it is a normal reaction for someone who obviously cares about their pets.


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## richardmartin1961 (Apr 15, 2014)

Hi,

Unfortunately it is too late, I asked them to cremate him about an hour ago, and they said there is a pickup in the next few minutes. I decided on the cremation, as I couldn't bring myself to go to the vets to bring home his lifeless body.

I've opted for a private cremation, so I can get his ashes back. My wife and I are going to buy something to plant in the garden, scatter his ashes at the base, and then get a memorial stone as a tribute.

I wasn't thinking last night, and do wish I'd taken him home then. Obviously my head wasn't in the right place. I do feel I've let him down by leaving his body alone in the vets. I just hope they treat him with respect he deserves during the cremation process.

I still feel like I'm sat about 10 foot behind me while I'm writing all this, and can't quite believe what is happening.


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## shamykebab (Jul 15, 2009)

Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about Gizmo - you must be in shock.

I lost a cat at 16 months old in an accident and I couldn't believe how I felt afterwards. I too kept thinking he'd just wake up, that he was just sleeping.

The sadness and anger will pass eventually, and you'll be able to look back with fondness and love. We planted a pear tree where we buried him, since he always reminded me of a little pear when he used to sit watching me work.

Don't be afraid to grieve - you loved him very much.

x


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## lobus (Aug 28, 2012)

I know only too well how you are feeling and it is always horrendous to lose a beloved family member. I have grieved for ages for many of my animals, but you will get over it. And you have to if you have a sibling, and more especially a wife to care for. Be strong!


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## GingerJasper (Oct 29, 2012)

I saw this post earlier as I knew it would make me tear up. Its very hard to get over the death of a beloved pet no matter how long or short a time you have them with you.

Bringing Gozmo back and putting him in your garden will help you to still be near him.

Sending big hugs to you.


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## richardmartin1961 (Apr 15, 2014)

Thanks all for your comments.

I can't remember the last time I was this upset about something. I know time heals emotional wounds, but I kind of don't want the hurt to go away. It doesn't feel right that I should get on with my life, while my innocent little kitty was taken away from me so unfairly. As you say though, I've got to look after my other cat, and be strong for my wife. In 6 weeks time, my first child will be borne.

Was really looking forward to having my 2 cats in the family and my kids growing up with them. I've read online that the heart failure in young cats can actually be quite common, so I know I'm not alone in loosing my cat so young.

Both cats were a present when my last cat died very young - only had her 2 weeks, so thought my bad luck had finished there.....

RIP Gizmo. I will always remember and love you.


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

Richard I am so sorry for your loss. I too know how painful this is. We lost our cat to a Heart problem at the age of 3.
We were Heart broken and very Angry and we felt that our Boy was cheated of a good life.
I know you will be thinking the same.
My Hubby was in bits. I have never seen him cry so much.
Give yourself plenty of time to grieve and don't feel that you have to hide your feelings. If you want to cry then cry. 
It is good that you know where you are going to put Gizmo's Ashes. 
We did feel a bit better once we had Harley's Ashes home with us.
By giving Oscar lots of attention will help the both of you too.

R.I.P Gizmo and Run Free at Rainbow Bridge xx


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## richardmartin1961 (Apr 15, 2014)

Yes, thats exactly it. We loved him so much, and would have had an amazing life. Feel completely cheated. I think my wife is a bit stronger than me when it comes to these sorts of things.

been back at work today. Its tough. Oscars not really left us alone, normally he's quite an independent cat. Im hoping to get his ashes today, so we can say goodbye to him properly.


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## richardmartin1961 (Apr 15, 2014)

Also, our other cat oscar, is behaving strangely which is to be expected.

whenever we go into another room, he grabs one of his toys, and follows us. Its heartbreaking.


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## Polly G (Apr 30, 2013)

So sorry that you have lost your lovely Gizmo - it is so very painful when they are taken so young x


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## shamykebab (Jul 15, 2009)

It took my other cat a while to get over Plato's death, they were very close - he would sit for ages on the spot where we buried Plato, under the pear tree. 

Oscar will come to terms with the loss eventually. Sending hugs xx


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## koolchick (Apr 5, 2011)

Just read this honestly what you are feeling is completely normal and let's face it if you had come to terms with losing your cat in the short time you have had it would indicate you didn't have a strong bond. I think losing a young pet cat or dog is worse because there is so much more life they could of had. I've only ever had dogs but I can honestly say the loss of my last dog was by far the worst. It was the least expected and the youngest dog I've lost. Was in a car accident that I was lucky to survive. He'd never been ill or anything. Took me a few month to come to terms with losing him and part of that time I had to recover from the accident learning to walk again then get used to being home with no dog as I've always had a dog all my life. Even silly things upset me like the back gate being left open because I'd always had to make sure it was closed so my dog couldn't get out. I eventually got another dog (pup at time) who has helped me move on.


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## richardmartin1961 (Apr 15, 2014)

Its nice to be able to share my thoughts here, as most of my friends/family don't really understand.

his ashes are now home, so we can spend the weekend giving him a propper goodbye. Im just sat infront of the tv at the moment with my little oscar trying to think of better times.


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## Mozzie (Jan 29, 2014)

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## GRoberts (Feb 12, 2014)

So sorry so hear about your loss. :sad:


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

I'm so sorry about your little one. Life seems very unfair sometimes. Something like this makes us feel so helpless and out of control but time will make it easier and he will always be in your heart. There's absolutely nothing wrong with crying over someone you loved, my OH does it every time we lose a pet and we have lost all three of ours in the last twelve months. I'm glad you've got Oscar to give you and your wife some comfort and you him.


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## lisa0307 (Aug 25, 2009)

So very sorry for your loss hun....we've all been there and feel your pain 
R.I.P. Gizmo sweetie xxx


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