# Regret for my dog



## BeckyBamboozle (Dec 30, 2010)

Today me, my brother, and Dad took our dog Millie to the vets to be put down. She has been suffering from a bladder tumour for months now and we all knew eventually it would come to this. However, I can't help but feel so regretful. The procedure of putting her to sleep was not what I expected at all. At first they couldn't find the right vain and she was very distressed. When it worked, she didn't drift away peacefully. She was jerking and seemed panicked. It was so horrible to watch and I just feel so upset. I wonder now if it was the right choice. She has been quite miserable and not been eating recently, and the vet said she would starve herself to death. But, in the past the vet has said she ought to be put down as soon as possible, and then she has pulled through and returned to her normal self. I can't help but wonder if we had let her carry on, would she have pulled through again? I know her death was inevitable, but was this the right time? I've been with Millie all my life and I just can't accept that I'm never going to see her again. I have never lost someone I love so much and the pain is unbearable. All I can think about is what she would have wanted, and I just don't know if we made the right choice.


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## Ditsy42 (Aug 13, 2010)

Oh i'm really sorry 2 hear u lost your best friend 

It's the hardest thing as an owner but the kindest 4 your pet and u were there at the end, it's never an easy decision and I truly feel 4 u.

When we lost our old girlie 2 a tumor it was an awful time and I still think of her every day, the good memoreis more so nowadays, the pain does get better, but it takes time xx


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## Doolally (Oct 12, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Bladder tumours are nasty horrible things and will only get worse and can make them feel very rough

I think it was a very selfless and caring thing to do to let her go before she suffered. 

I'm sorry it didn't go smoothly. She will have been unaware of what was going on. Often after they have gone, they twitch, sometimes sigh and go to the toilet, but it's all involuntary muscle movements, just the body shutting down, but she will have already been gone.

Please take comfort in the fact she's at peace now and not suffering from a nasty tumour that would never have got better.


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## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

You did do the right thing, in fact it was the only thing that you could do. It wouldnt be fair to her when they look unhappy and dont want to eat anymore its their way of saying that they need to go. You did make the right decision for her, shes now free and not in pain. You will be sad,you will miss her and you will question that your judgement was right. It was the right decision what you are feeling now is what everyone who loses their beloved pet goes through everytime, your not alone and we do understand how you feel.


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## BeckyBamboozle (Dec 30, 2010)

Thankyou so much for your replies, they're so kind and have made me feel much better. It will take time to move on, but I just have to look back on the happy memories we shared, and know that she is in a better place.


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## Ditsy42 (Aug 13, 2010)

I found putting a scrap book together with pics of her life helped me, I keep them in a safe place and often go through them recently had a canvas done of her and she has pride of place on my wall


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## BeckyBamboozle (Dec 30, 2010)

Awww, that's a lovely idea  it sounds like a really nice way to remember your dog!


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## Lulu's owner (May 1, 2009)

I'm sorry you've lost your dog. It is a very sad day for you, and I know how upsetting it is when euthanasia doesn't go 100% by the textbook image and, unfortunately, the vet can't always find a vein easily (especially if your pet is elderly, I think). Nonetheless, it is still by far the most humane way for your dog to go, and I am sure she was only feeling mild discomfort from the little needle prick.


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## Kinjilabs (Apr 15, 2009)

So so sorry for your loss, I have had a couple of my dogs that didnt "go" text book, but was assured by my vet that it wasnt distressing for them, it will get easier for you and your family, like others have said remember the good times, and in the months to come you will be able to talk and laugh at the good times you had together.

Take care x


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## Petloversdigest (Dec 10, 2010)

All my sympathy to you - I think everyone feels a sense of guilt even though it is the right thing to do - I found the ceremony of lighting a candle in the evenings a good way to just acknowledge my sense of loss when Cassie was put down. I did this for a while until I was a bit more adjusted to what had happened.


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## BeckyBamboozle (Dec 30, 2010)

Thankyou for the kind messages, they're so thoughtful and helpful. x


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## Nellybelly (Jul 20, 2009)

I am really so sorry for your loss

I was in a similar position almost 2 years ago, when we had to have my boy put to sleep. Thankfully, our vet was beyond amazing about the whole thing, and he sedated Nelson first before putting the lethal dose into his vein...but Nelson was so calm already at that point...

But irresepctive of that, you definitely did the right thing for your dog. You had the power to take away her hurt and put it on yourself, and that is a very brave very caring thing to do. It is the last act of kindness you could offer to your dog. And I don't think the twitching was painful for your dog, she was probably not fully conscious at that point anyway, but more hard for you. So I believe it was harder for you, but not necessarily for your girl, if that is any consolation.

Again, I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss


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## MissShelley (May 9, 2010)

RIP Millie! Have fun at bridge sweetness.

So sorry for your loss hon  We had our boy pts in October so know exactly how you feel.

I know the jerking was distressing for you to witness, but believe me, it wouldn't be been distressing for Millie, she would of felt no pain sweetheart... It happens sometimes when they can't inject into the vein. 

Max had to be pts straight into his kidneys as all his veins had sunk... That broke my heart, but he was in no pain.

You did the right thing for her, just keep the happy memories alive, if you do that then she will stay in your heart forever xxxxxxx


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## CAstbury (Oct 24, 2010)

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Unfortunately, at present - your memory is full of the last images you saw of her. Over time, this will be replaced by memories of the special times you had together.

She wouldn't want you to be sad - cherish the memories.

Thinking of you at this sad time xx

*hugs*


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## BeckyBamboozle (Dec 30, 2010)

awww thankyou so much! xxx


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