# My 3 year old labrador isn't very affectionate



## lizziebrewster (Nov 2, 2016)

I have a three year old labrador girl who's still fairly excitable, likes the ball being thrown and loves food etc etc. However when it comes to displaying affection, she doesn't seem to like it.
Quite often if she's done something good and I want to reward her by patting her, she'll just move away from my hand. She is quite an independent dog and often will sleep in different rooms to us in the evening, rather than sitting with us. She went to puppy class and was well socialised with humans as a puppy.
I've tried encouraging her gently to sit by me and rewarding her when she does, or rewarding her when she lets me pet her (mainly around her ears/neck/face).

I know lots of people say that dogs get more affectionate with age, however I know of lots of dogs who are younger than her who are far more loving. Does anyone have any advice?

Thank you!


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## WillowT (Mar 21, 2015)

I think some dogs are just like that. It might just be her personality. 
We have a lab x and she was a snuggle monster from the day we brought her home! Mind you she still thinks she is that small and do those things lol.
Has your dog changed much from when she was a puppy? Or has she always been like this? If so, it may just be her.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Yeah, some dogs are just not cuddly. If she was like that as a pup, it will be something you will have to get used to as just the way she is.


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## lizziebrewster (Nov 2, 2016)

When she was tiny she used to come and sit on our laps and fall asleep, but she's always been super excitable and full of energy. I know some dogs just aren't totally affectionate like others are, but I was wondering if there was any way we could encourage her? Or do you think now she's like this, she won't change much?


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Hmm... If it is the way she is, there may not be much. Some of the people on here have more experience than me so may have some tips. But I would say, don't force it. Don't make her come to you and be cuddled cos if it is something she doesn't like, forcing her will make her feel worse. Let her come to you. And if she does, praise her calmly. Don't touch her and then just let her walk away when she wants to. She needs to see that coming to you is a good thing. Keep doing this and hopefully gradually she will see that you are a nice thing to lie on. 

But if that doesn't work, you may just have to accept her as not cuddly and find other ways to bond.


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## Guest (Mar 25, 2017)

lizziebrewster said:


> I have a three year old labrador girl who's still fairly excitable, likes the ball being thrown and loves food etc etc. However when it comes to displaying affection, she doesn't seem to like it.
> Quite often if she's done something good and I want to reward her by patting her, she'll just move away from my hand. She is quite an independent dog and often will sleep in different rooms to us in the evening, rather than sitting with us. She went to puppy class and was well socialised with humans as a puppy.
> I've tried encouraging her gently to sit by me and rewarding her when she does, or rewarding her when she lets me pet her (mainly around her ears/neck/face).
> 
> ...


How are you petting her? 
Most dogs don't like hands coming at their face, and definitely don't like being patted on the top of the head.


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## lizziebrewster (Nov 2, 2016)

ouesi said:


> How are you petting her?
> Most dogs don't like hands coming at their face, and definitely don't like being patted on the top of the head.


We often stroke her back, and around her neck/chest. She doesn't like being patted/stroked on her head no, but she loves her ears being rubbed. I wonder if she is just quite and independent dog will decide when she wants to be petted?


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## Sarah1983 (Nov 2, 2011)

My Lab isn't a sit and have cuddles type of dog and he'd rather play than sit and be petted for the most part. He's 6 in May, I seriously doubt that's going to change somehow lol. He'll actually move away if I sit next to him on the sofa! Now and then he'll come and cuddle up for 10 minutes and those moments feel extra special somehow because they're so few and far between. My last dog was a real lapdog and would have spent his life cuddling up to you somehow so Spen was a bit of an adjustment but I can't say it bothers me now. He has his own ways of showing affection, we have fun training and playing so it's not like there's no bond or anything. And there are time he does enjoy a good fuss. I just accept that he isn't a touchy feely sort of dog for the most part.


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## Guest (Mar 25, 2017)

lizziebrewster said:


> We often stroke her back, and around her neck/chest. She doesn't like being patted/stroked on her head no, but she loves her ears being rubbed. I wonder if she is just quite and independent dog will decide when she wants to be petted?


I'd find the kind of pets she likes and stick to those. And don't force it. Not all dogs are in-your-face affectionate. Just like humans, some are touchy, some are not


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## lizziebrewster (Nov 2, 2016)

Sarah1983 said:


> My Lab isn't a sit and have cuddles type of dog and he'd rather play than sit and be petted for the most part. He's 6 in May, I seriously doubt that's going to change somehow lol. He'll actually move away if I sit next to him on the sofa! Now and then he'll come and cuddle up for 10 minutes and those moments feel extra special somehow because they're so few and far between. My last dog was a real lapdog and would have spent his life cuddling up to you somehow so Spen was a bit of an adjustment but I can't say it bothers me now. He has his own ways of showing affection, we have fun training and playing so it's not like there's no bond or anything. And there are time he does enjoy a good fuss. I just accept that he isn't a touchy feely sort of dog for the most part.


Our dogs must have been separated at birth lol, he sounds identical to my dog


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## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

Every dog is different. Our extremely ancient Labrador has never been overly affectionate. He's the sort to come over and wag his tail a couple of times or occasionally ask for a bum scratch but that's about as far as it goes. By contrast I used to look after another male the same age as him who was the polar opposite, really loving and a big lapdog who craved that sort of attention.

My pointer is more like a cat, anything affectionate is completely on her terms and if you advance on her she'll look disgusted and move away. Whereas the big scary GSD will roll over for a tummy rub 

They are all different!


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## Burrowzig (Feb 18, 2009)

Just because your dog doesn't go in for the sort of displays of affection you were expecting, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you and trust you. You could even take her lack of display to indicate her total confidence in you which needs no reinforcement.


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