# 4 Cats down to 3 - one behaving very strangely



## Clare :) (Mar 22, 2011)

Hello, 

I'm very new so please be gentle!! I really need some advice though.

Last Tuesday one of our cats died very suddenly. He was less than a year old and seemed fit and healthy. In the middle of the night I woke to him struggling to breathe. OH took him to the vets but he was there less than an hour before he sadly passed away. They are unsure as to why he died. The vet said, "It was just one of those things."

We have 3 other cats. A brother and a sister (one pair) and the brother of our cat who passed away (our other pair). They are all coming up to or are just a year old. They have all always got along very well. There have obviously been moments when they have had little spats but it's mostly hissing from the female and the boys leave her alone very quickly. Until now.

I've expected the 3 other cats to be looking for Dexta (our cat that died) and to call him but not much of that has happened. I've also expected a certain amount of unsettled behaviour and we have given the cats a lot of reassurance and love and extra treats (but obviously not too many!). Dexta's brother, however, seems to have suddenly become quite aggresive. I assume it's because he's been unsettled by his brother going. He keeps chasing our female cat around. (I know there is no "funny business" going on because they have all been "done".) 

I assume there is a shift in the pecking order taking place and that's why he's become so aggresive but he won't leave the other two alone. They can be the other side of the room and he will go up to them and sniff around them. The other male is much larger but doesn't take any notice (which is a good thing because he could possibly take his head off with one swipe!), the female however bops him and hisses and then runs off. He never used to run after her but he now does. 

Will this behaviour settle down? Is it just the period of adjustment in the ranks when one has gone?

We were thinking of getting another gentle cat for him to be with (we know this could blow up in our faces but he has always "latched" on to one of the other cats). I think he's trying to bond with the female (they used to be very good friends and you didn't see one without the other) and I think she's grown up and doesn't want to know him and he doesn't understand. Should we try to get another cat/kitten? 

I know it's only a week ago but I'm so worried about the 3 that are left. 

Any ideas, reasons or otherwise greatfully received!! Thank you in advance.


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## Gratch (Aug 22, 2010)

I'm sorry I don't have advice but didn't want to read and run. I'm really sorry about your cat. It's always hard losing a pet but one so young is especially hard since we tend to expect atleast 15 with them  RIP Dexta

Hopefully someone that can help will be along soon


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

I'm sorry for the unexplained loss of your cat 
I think you already know the reasons for the problems you are having with the remaining three and I would agree with you that it is a change in the pecking order. I think in your case a Feliway plug in would help the situation a great deal.
Bringing in another kitten or cat could go either way and I would not recommend getting one just for the sake of Dexta's brother. As you say yourself it could all blow up and in the end cause more hassle than you have at present. I would only suggest getting another cat if *you * really want one.
Good luck with them and again sorry for your loss.


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## honeysmummy (Oct 17, 2010)

lymorelynn said:


> I'm sorry for the unexplained loss of your cat
> I think you already know the reasons for the problems you are having with the remaining three and I would agree with you that it is a change in the pecking order. I think in your case a Feliway plug in would help the situation a great deal.
> Bringing in another kitten or cat could go either way and I would not recommend getting one just for the sake of Dexta's brother. As you say yourself it could all blow up and in the end cause more hassle than you have at present. I would only suggest getting another cat if *you * really want one.
> Good luck with them and again sorry for your loss.


Hello... i am a new cat owner myself...but agree with above post..even though the other cats are not actively looking for dexta..they feel the void just the same and will need to adjust to this...it sounds corny but time is a great healer...feliway plug ins are great and just lots of love and attention...which you are giving lots of anyway

can i just say..i am so sorry for your loss..i felt quite emotional reading your post ..this forum is great for receiving support when you need it..i know that very well !!

we are all here if you need us...hoping things will start to settle soon

sending you hugs 

kelly xx

ps run free at rainbow bridge little dexta xx


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## Catlover2 (Oct 12, 2009)

Hi there

Very sorry to hear of your loss. I had the same experience as you a year ago (see below). My 3 settled within no time at all but we didn't :cryin: Hence adopting another cat a few months later.

Only you can decide if another one is the right thing to do. I'm sure they will settle soon enough.

Good luck!
~x~


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## honeysmummy (Oct 17, 2010)

Catlover2 said:


> Hi there
> 
> Very sorry to hear of your loss. I had the same experience as you a year ago (see below). My 3 settled within no time at all but we didn't :cryin: Hence adopting another cat a few months later.
> 
> ...


sorry for your loss Catlover2 x


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## paşa's mummy (Feb 5, 2011)

i am sorry i dont have any advise but iam so sorry to hear of your loss.
good luck with the other 3.
amy
x


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## Angie2011 (Feb 2, 2011)

So soory for your loss! welcome.


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## Clare :) (Mar 22, 2011)

Thank you everyone for your lovely posts.

Although we didn't have Dexta for long I still expect him to come running down the stairs when I get home. We were supposed to spread his ashes yesterday as it would have been his first birthday but the weather wasn't very nice here and as it was his brother's birthday we decided it perhaps wasn't the right time. 

Well we have a bit of good news, we have decided to get another kitten who will be joining us in the middle of April. We are trying to tie it in with all the bank holidays so we can all spend a lot of time settling the new kitten in with the other 3. They seem to have settled an awful lot more now though. 

We decided that we should let Yoda (Dexta's brother. The name is the fate of agreeing that the kids can name the cats!)out for a while. He's been a house cat until now but he's been showing more interest in going out and it's made him so much happier. He's spending a lot more time with our other male cat and we even found them curled up together last night so we are much more relaxed about them. 

Sorry Catlover2. It's really not easy losing a cat, let alone one so young. I notice you have Mainecoons and a Norweigan Forest. Dexta was a Birman as is Yoda but the other two we have are Mainecoon crosses. They are gorgeous cats. We were very close to getting a Norweigan Forest this last time but a lady near us had a Bengal that needed a home so we are going to have it. It made the decision for us about whether to have another one or not. 

Again thank you all for your lovely messages. Just having people that understand helps a lot. Thank you.


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## colliemerles (Nov 2, 2007)

_i am so sorry to hear of your loss of Dexta, how awful and so young to.
Birmans are lovely cats, i used to have some many years ago.
I am glad your remaining three cats have settled down, and i look forward to hearing about your new arrival in April._


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