# Abyssinian’s nature



## Gem79 (Jul 31, 2019)

Hi all we have an aby who is 3. She is so beautiful really sweet but we can’t get her to give us cuddle. That might sound silly when we got her we really hoped for a cat that would enjoy cuddles and strokes and though she does the odd time it’s not very often. She just wants to hunt and she likes chilling out in the spare room when she is in. Are we doing something wrong or is this really just her nature and is there anything we can do to help her engage with us more?


----------



## ChaosCat (Dec 7, 2017)

Hello and welcome to this forum.
Cats choose the level of interaction they like. Some are cuddle bugs and some let you know it’s an honour if you may pet them for two minutes. It’s very much in their character.

You don’t say anything about playing. Maybe you can build up a better contact by offering her to play with wand toys or balls? As she likes to hunt that might be the way to her heart.


----------



## spotty cats (Jul 24, 2012)

Abys aren’t generally a cuddly breed. They’re very active and intelligent but tend to prefer being near rather than on your lap.

As with other active breeds, they like company and don’t tend to do well as only cats.


----------



## Gem79 (Jul 31, 2019)

spotty cats said:


> Abys aren't generally a cuddly breed. They're very active and intelligent but tend to prefer being near rather than on your lap.
> 
> As with other active breeds, they like company and don't tend to do well as only cats.


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Hello @Gem79 - my sister used to have an Abyssinian. A strikingly beautiful cat whom she got as a kitten. My sister adored the cat - and so did I! 

As a kitten the cat was very playful and loved interacting with her humans. But as she matured she became less and less sociable.

My sister lived in a quiet rural area and allowed her cat to go out. It was evident the cat loved to hunt, and was an excellent hunter. As time went by she would only come home every few days, for a day, and then she was gone again. By then my sister was the only person she would allow to touch her or stroke her. She would hiss and spit if anyone else went near her. Her demeanour had become that of a feral cat.

My sister later learned there were some lines of Abyssinians who had this wild aspect to their nature. But that was over 30 years ago, I don't know if things are the same these days, with some lines of Abyssinians.

If you are certain your cat's standoffishness is not related to a health problem you may have to accept her need for a lot of personal independence is just her nature. The same as it was with my sister's cat.

I would love to see a photo of her, if you have one to share.


----------



## Gem79 (Jul 31, 2019)

Thank you for replying. Does your last comment mean that she would appreciate company from another cat?


----------



## Gem79 (Jul 31, 2019)

ThNk you Chillminx here is photo


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

At the age of 3, having been an only cat all her life she is used to it and is probably happy with the status quo. 

She may interact with you even less if you were to bring in another cat. Or she may be very territorial and not want another cat in her home.


----------



## Gem79 (Jul 31, 2019)

We were thinking of getting a Burmese.....


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Awww, bless her, she is gorgeous! I really do love Abys! Thank you for the photo. 

If you were to get another cat I would get another Abyssinian. It may work.


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Sorry Gem, cross posted with you. 

I don't know a great deal about Burmese, as I have never had one. But isn't it a very confident breed that is very people-orientated? if so this could result in your Aby being pushed into the background......and becoming even less sociable with you.

I think if you were not going to get another Aby I might consider getting a laid back, gentle sociable breed such as a BSH. They get on well with other cats as well as being sociable and affectionate with humans.

However I must say I am a bit worried how your Aby would take to any new kitten in her home as she has been an only cat for so long. As she is evidently a keen hunter it means she will be very protective of her territory (both indoors and outdoors) It would be very sad if by bringing in a new kitten caused your Aby to leave home.

If you do decide to go ahead I do recommend slow and gradual introductions using the "safe room" method with a transparent barrier such as a tall pet gate, or a mesh screen door (the latter being my preference for introductions).


----------



## Gem79 (Jul 31, 2019)

That’s all good advice thank you. 
I feel that the Aby would be quite motherly actually.... But im not entirely sure what I am basing that on. Maybe because when my children are sick she shows great afffection she is also quite sweet with the new kittens next door....
I thought she would really enjoy the company. I definitely wouldn’t have another aby I love her but we really need a cuddly cat. My 8 year old girl is so sensitive and would benefit from the company of an animal which would respond to her affection.


----------



## Ottery (Jun 14, 2019)

Beautiful cat!

I have had a lot of Burmese (I currently have five) and they are a very people-orientated breed, so you should get cuddles from a Burmese. However they are also great hunters and if they have good hunting territory you may not experience the full cuddlesome side of their nature until they are 2 or 3 years old - outdoors is just too exciting. We looked into getting two Abys several years ago but there were none available in the time frame we were looking. From what I read about them, they have a fairly similar nature to Burmese - athletic, affectionate, clever, nosy.

There is no way of knowing if your Aby would welcome another kitten. She may be set in her ways and perfectly happy, and not want to share her territory. Or she may love the company. You can't predict it. But it's unlikely another kitten will make her more affectionate to you - if they get on they will spend time together, if she hates the new arrival she may well give you the cold shoulder and spend more time outdoors.

(My profile pic is my brown Burmese, Monty, sadly no longer with us.)


----------



## Gem79 (Jul 31, 2019)

Thanks Ottery. 
Beautiful Burmese 
Thanks everyone for taking the time to get back to me. We will keep thinking about it. 

Maybe the Aby is showing us affection in a different way I’ve never had a cat before so this is all new to me. She follows us the whole way to the park sometimes and sometimes the supermarket she follows the children to school sometimes and once even ran in to their classroom with them. 
I suppose this is her telling us that she lives us? Am I right?


----------



## alixtaylor (Jan 24, 2013)

We have a 5 year old red silver Abyssinian and he is the biggest cuddle bug! Attention is his main deal, he will want strokes or cuddles above anything else, even food or play!

As people have mentioned Abys don't tend to be lap cats as they're too active, but they usually do crave attention and like to be around or near their humans. They are usually friendly with humans, other cats and dogs. Vivi has always very readily excepted any other cats into the household. This might not be true of all Abys, but is the general rule.

I do tend to find male cats are more affectionate, but that's just from the cats I've owned or met.


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

@Gem79 - cats vary a lot., with different temperaments and different preferences.

My two girls (non-pedigree) are quite independent, not lap cats, and they don't like being picked up. They are very sociable and friendly with me and my OH but they don't like visitors though. They are curious about everything and very interested in e.g. watching wild life for hours in the garden. They are very active cats.

By contrast my boys are more laid back, very affectionate and love lap sitting. At the age of 9 they're a few yrs older than the girls and are less curious about their environment than the girls are. Though they were terrors for hunting when they were young adults!

My experience over many years of living with different cats is my male cats have always been more outwardly affectionate than my females, but the females are very loyal to their humans. I love the characters of all my cats - for different reasons.


----------



## alixtaylor (Jan 24, 2013)

chillminx said:


> @Gem79 - cats vary a lot., with different temperaments and different preferences.
> 
> My two girls (non-pedigree) are quite independent, not lap cats, and they don't like being picked up. They are very sociable and friendly with me and my OH but they don't like visitors though. They are curious about everything and very interested in e.g. watching wild life for hours in the garden. They are very active cats.
> 
> ...


I would completely agree with @chillminx our girls have always been loyal, they struggle more when we're away and tend to be more cautious of strangers, even though they don't seek affection as often they clearer are deeply bonded to us and miss having us around!


----------



## spotty cats (Jul 24, 2012)

Abys and Burmese get on well, I wouldn’t put a BSH with an Aby - you want to match energy levels.

I know lots of Aby and Burmese pairs along with several breeders who do both breeds and have spent loads of time with them over the years in their homes and at shows.

Our Oci’s are an Aby derived breed but much more affectionate and cuddly. They too blend well in Aby homes.
Our girls are just as smoochy, cuddly and affectionate as the boys.

Unusual your breeder allowed you to let her roam, usually there’s an indoor / enclosure clause. We don’t breed cats to be road kill


----------



## Gem79 (Jul 31, 2019)

She doesn’t breed them to be prisoners either.


----------



## Ottery (Jun 14, 2019)

I have had Burmese cats from many different breeders over the years and not a single one of them asked me to enclose them. I am sure all of us want our cats to have the best lives they can.


----------



## spotty cats (Jul 24, 2012)

Gem79 said:


> She doesn't breed them to be prisoners either.


I'm sorry your home would be a prison rather than a cat wonderland of toys, climbing spots, attention and affection


----------



## Gem79 (Jul 31, 2019)

it’s not so much the love and toys spotty Cats it’s those pesky walls!


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

I agree Gem79


----------



## Rufus15 (Dec 4, 2015)

Gem79 said:


> it's not so much the love and toys spotty Cats it's those pesky walls!


Darn those pesky walls, how dare they keep cats safe from poisoning, cars, theft, evil people, other animals....


----------



## Ottery (Jun 14, 2019)

I think we all have to weigh risk against quality of life for our cats. There is no right answer, it depends on the situation and the cat.


----------

