# my Pumpkin Face is now an angel



## Foxxycat (Nov 17, 2018)

Hi there, I am new to the site. Sadly Saturday night I hadd to abruptly let me pumps go due to complex health issues. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what happened. my girl was 15. Was pretty bright eyed and smooth fur. She suffered with moderate arthritis and we were treating it with dasquin, pred and laser therapy when I could afford it. as well as asthma which she got Flovent daily. She slept outside on our deck most days. Now that winter is here she spends her time in the library or next to my partner on the couch.

Thanksgiving day i noticed her eating wasn't as rambunctious. She usually loves her food and treats. So we got treats into her and she started sneezing and green goop started to appear. Monday we went to the vets. She was 11.2lbs. She was down from 12.2 in July of this year. But she was an old cat. They treated for an URI.

Fluids meds xrays blood work. $570 later. Uggg. Nothing was obvious. Kidney value on the high normal end but nothing obvious. White blood cells were high but they said it was from stress. Same with sugar.

Her xrays were inconclusive. Only showed asthma symptoms. She developed asthma in her later years. She's been on Flovent since last November. The vet didn't see anything obvious other than the URI symptoms of sneezing and congestion. So they treated her with fluids, Cerenia and mirtazapine to get her to eat.

When we got home she started eating. And went to the cat box many times which they told me was normal.

Tuessay she was back to being picky. I started to notice a bit of pot belly look that prior weekend which was why we did xrays to make sure she wasn't retaining fluids.

So Wed then same. I noticed her output decreased quite a bit but still going. She didnt have as much energy. She was moving more slowly than i ever seen but when I called the vet they said it's probably because of her not eating. So Thursday night I brought her back.

The scale showed she was now 12.2lbs we just figured the scale was wrong. More fluids and meds. Now added zithromax for the infection.

So it was more of the same. Friday they told me to give her fluids. I questioned them and said what about her heart murmur? They said she would be fine. Well that's the first mistake I made.

By Saturday afternoon it was obvious my girl was extremely uncomfortable and depressed. I told my partner we have to bring her in. I didn't even think to tell him to say goodbye. I figured we could do something. Anything.

At the vets she was now 12.5lbs. Thats when it hit me. My girl had something unfixable. They wanted to do xrays and send for an ultrasound. I said whats the treatment if we find something? She couldn't really say. I said she's 15. Her kidneys have pretty much shut down. I said there's not much we can do to reverse this. I said I want her put down and if this makes me a bad mom so be it.

The vet was great and said she didn't want me to go down a path if it wasn't necessary. I said but the facts speak for themselves. I love her so much to put her down before she suffers anymore. I said look at her. Look in her eyes. She's got that look. Please help her. As I was crying.

So she was given the 2 shots. The first one took quite a bit of time to work. Which I am thankful for. That gave us 3 minutes to say goodbye. I gazed into her eyes as she left consciousness. They came in to finish. They had to do another way due to not finding any veins. The vet said it's obvious we did the right thing just in time. If they couldn't find a vein then she was sicker than we thought. My girl was a strong fighter and the energy she displayed despite the heart and kidney problems.

Looking back I just tell myself I did the best I could with what I had. I could have listened to the vet last year and maybe sent for an Echo but she hated the vets and honestly I just wanted her home comfortable. I guess now it doesn't matter does it? I often wonder if things would have been different if she wasn't on so many medications. Just goes to show the body is a delicate balance and we can only do the best we can.

Fly free Pumps. I will always love you.


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## MaggieDemi (Nov 17, 2018)

@Foxxycat --T, you did the best you could. Nobody could have tried harder. Please go easy on yourself. Medical issues are always a delicate balancing act. Should Haves & Could Haves never help us, they only cause pain. May your pain lessen in the coming days...
I'm sending all my love, hugs, and kisses to you, Jon, and Honeybee. May they encircle you and bring you comfort at this devastating time.


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

My cat was put to sleep in June, just before her 19th Birthday. I knew in the morning it would be her last day with us, she'd lost weight, wouldn't eat anything and looked really miserable. 
We found her asleep in a flowerbed, picked her up and took her to the vet. The vet said she had a kidney tumour, nothing to be done, and injected straight into the tumour. She died instantly.
We'd had her from a tiny kitten.
I'm sorry for your loss , you made your choice out of love for her , she would thank you.


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## Foxxycat (Nov 17, 2018)

Thank you. I do love my girl. I always will. Crying too. But if I didn't cry it would mean my soul is dead.


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## MaggieDemi (Nov 17, 2018)

Foxxycat said:


> But if I didn't cry it would mean my soul is dead.


I know your soul isn't dead, my dear girl. You have a beautiful soul. ((Hugs))


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## Kittynanna (Feb 15, 2015)

Thinking of you....so very sad.


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## Foxxycat (Nov 17, 2018)

MaggieDemi said:


> I know your soul isn't dead, my dear girl. You have a beautiful soul. ((Hugs))


@MaggieDemi :Happy thank you dear girl


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

What a beautiful cat; sorry you have lost her. xx


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