# I feel like giving up on my cat. please help me



## nhoxbongun (Apr 21, 2014)

Hi, i live in an apartment and just recently adopted a Balinese cat. Hes around 2 years old. it has been 1 month and he will not come out under the bed. I have a small apartment and i live with my brother. During the day he would just sit and hide under the bed and refuse to go out. At night he would go out to eat his food and then use the litter box then jump on the table to look outside the window. I got him out once and it seemed like he loves it when i pet him. It seems like he loves to hang out with me and loves to be pet but he would just refuse to get out of his hiding spot at all cost. And when he is finally out if he sees either me or my brother he would dash right back to his hiding spot. I find it interesting that one time he would went out on his own to use the litter box in the morning but then he would go right back to his hiding spot. 
Please help me because i'm feeling more and more distant toward him as time goes by


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## Lilylass (Sep 13, 2012)

What's his background?

This is fairly common for rehomed cats - I never even saw smudge for order 3 weeks when I got him & it took several months before he'd let me stroke him / sit beside him

Don't give up on him' it could be that's all he knows

Try reading out loud to him so he gets used to your voice / a feather toy on a dangler pole may be irresistable to him - but don't try to push it too fast too quickly - let him come to you etc


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## CoCoTrio (Jan 3, 2013)

Yes, give him time. It might take several months for him to decide that it's all ok and he can relax. Please don't give up on him! Love him for who he is, however he is. Make the place as inviting for him as possible, avoid loud noises, talk to him, avoid eye contact, don't rush him or force him into any contact, let him come to you. You are very very important for him, even if he's taking time to realise and appreciate it.


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Balinese cats are very beautiful aren't they? As a breed they are basically long haired Siamese as I understand. I would love one! 

By nature Balinese (and Siamese) are normally friendly, sociable and inquisitive, so the fact your boy is not being like this at present indicates he is very fearful and unsure of himself. But at least he is coming out from his hiding place at night and is eating and using his litter tray. It would be so much more worrying and stressful for you if he wasn't doing that. By eating the food he is acknowledging that he needs you and is grateful to you. 

Do you know his history? It could be that he was in a home where he was left alone for hours on end day after day, whilst the owner was out at work. Siamese thrive on human companionship and don't cope well at all with being left alone a lot. Perhaps that's why he has been re-homed, because the previous owner was not able to give him the time and attention he needs. Maybe he was even kept as a stud cat, and left alone in his pen outside a lot of the time. Whatever the case something has happened to make him very withdrawn and untrusting of humans, but now he has found you, and you are a caring person who has the ability to make his life much better and happier for him.

I think in time, you will have a wonderful companion in your gorgeous cat, as his breed is highly intelligent, chatty and loves to interact with humans.
As others have said, you need to let him get to know you slowly at a pace he can handle. I am sure the rewards you get will be well worth the time and patience you put in now. 

I agree with the previous suggestions of sitting on the floor in his room and reading quietly out loud to him, so he gets used to the sound of your voice. Let him decide when he wants to come out of hiding. Don't ever pull him out from under the bed as you risk destroying any chance of him trusting you. 

Let him come to you when he is ready. Don't rush him. If he approaches you don't pick him up, don't make sudden movements, just gently put out your hand for him to sniff, and offer him treats on the floor near you. 

Buy Flying Frenzy and Da Bird rod toys - they have lots of lovely attachments to add on.  A piece of string slowly pulled across the floor towards you may encourage him out, even a little way at first, then gradually more as his confidence grows, little by little. 

Please don't give up on him, I beg you. Keep coming back here and letting us know how things are going and we will endeavour to give you all the support we can. OK?

One day, in the future, when he is confident enough for you to get a photo of him I would love to see his picture!


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

Just leave him be and let him come out in his own time. I'd hate to see him go back to the rescue just because he hides all the time.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

I've had a balinese before, in another year or so, you'll be wishing he would be quieter! They're very vocal once they are settled in.


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## nhoxbongun (Apr 21, 2014)

Hello again, thank you so much for your advises and supports. I guess the reason i feel this way is because i adopted a kitty last year and shes all i want for as a pet. She started hanging out with me just after 5 days and she loves cuddling with me. Shes super active, smart and cuddly. I moved out after a year and has been missing her every since. 
I guess thats why i kinda feel frustrated with my new cat Mouse. 
He is still hiding under the bed still. I got her a new toy, its a puffy bag hang on a string and i stuffed cat nip in it. He smelled it but so far doesnt wanna play with it. Also im letting him listening to music for cats 
He let me pet him and would enjoy it at times and even run his face on my hand and use his hands to grab my fingers. 
As for my apartment, its not really possible to be complete silent since i have children under my floor and sometimes people running up and down the stair. He freaks out over any sudden noise and if he sees my brother he would be super freak out and just goes to the corner under the bed. 
His past owner was a cat lady who had 5 cats or maybe more but for some reasons she gave them all away.


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## ForeverHome (Jan 14, 2014)

Please do not try to take him out of his safe place. He will come out when he feels safe and ready to. Unfortunately, pulling him out of it when he is not ready will set you both back, and it will take even longer. He needs to trust you, and that means you making him feel safe, you can't rush a cat. As above - talk to him, sit quietly, and be patient. You will be rewarded, in his own good time.


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## purrrfectposts (Jun 5, 2014)

Just like the others have said give him time. He needs time to adjust and get used to the new environment. In a few months you will wonder what you were worried about.

Becky


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

This thread is now two months old, I hope the OP is doing ok


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## misskate (Jan 21, 2014)

I hope you haven't given up on your cat! I adopted a middle-aged kitty (she was about 7) from a family whose youngest child was allergic. She did not come out from under the bed for months, except when I was asleep. She would eat, use the litter box and then sleep at my feet. 

It took three years for her to sit on my lap. She started by sitting in another room, and then in the hallway, and then in the same room, then on the couch, then next to me on the couch until finally she wanted to be on me all the time. She was such a sweet cat and I never knew I could be so patient, but it was so worth it to let her come to me. I wanted her to feel like she was always in control. 

She passed away a couple of years ago from liver failure and I miss her to this day. 

(I realize this thread is a little old, but I wanted to share my story about my cat, Comfort, so thank you!)


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