# Looking after dead neighbours cat



## Duoikari (Feb 7, 2016)

Hi all, 
I am very sorry to say that our neighbour died yesterday at the age of 42, I am not sure of the details but it would appear that her cat was locked in her with her for several days. 

Instead of her being rehomed me and my partner have taken her in and I was wondering if anyone can give me some advice or information. 

She has previously been a very timid cat, when she used to see me and my partner she used to run indoors. She is also primary an indoor cat, however I believe my neighbour used to let her out in our shared garden(we live in a block of 12 flats). 

She has been settling in well and I have just left her to do want she wants and come tome when she wants. However last night she was up pretty much all the night scratch and meowing at the door and I am not sure what to do. 

As she had been in the flat with her owner for so long I think she might want to go into the garden, either that or she is trying to get back to her home(the flat next door). I am worried about letting her out as she doesn't really come when I call her, but I feel like it might be cruel keeping her in the flat until she adjusts which might take a few days or possible a week. 

She has her own bowls and litter box from where she used to live and I bought her some femiway and a toy to help her adjust. 

Another issue is she doesn't seem to like my partner, she also acts strange around me. She will come up to me and rub herself against me but then hisses and runs away, she might also rub herself against me then start rubbing herself on the floor in front of me. 

I have tried to read up online as I have owned cats but not for a long time, but any advice or help you can give will be helpful. 

Thanks


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

I would be inclined to try and keep her in for a bit longer, so that she can get used to you (especially as you say she was a bit scared of you and OH before). The last thing you want is her to run off and be out on her own somewhere.

It's a lovely thing you have done, taking her in, but I think you will have some disruption until she settles. She is no doubt extremely confused and is missing her home and especially her owner and has no idea of what has happened. 

Cats are well known for their "cupboard love", so hopefully she will learn quickly that you are her slave  and be more comfortable around you and your OH.

If you decide she does need to be let out, I would suggest putting a collar on her with your details on so that if she wanders you can be contacted. Is she chipped? Perhaps a trip to the vet to check and if not have a new one put in with your details. It's also worth trying to find out if she has been vaccinated, wormed, and especially spayed, etc.


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## kittih (Jan 19, 2014)

The rubbing is depositing her scent which is a good thing. The hissing means she is nervous and conflicted. As her confidence grows that will lessen. For now let all interactions be on her terms. Let her seek you out to interact with rather than the other way around.

When I was taking in a feral cat and her kittens it helped to just be in the room reading or doing other quiet activities and ignoring the cat. So no eye contact, speaking to it and moving gently. Gently throwing tasty treats near by and playing at arm's length with a wand style toy helped give positive interactions.

Sometimes it also helps to sit on the floor as then you are not leaning over or so high up which can be threatening.

Don't let kitty out for a few more weeks. I am sure she will want to get back to her familiar haunts but any activity there might scare her.

To encourage her to see your house as her home, if she will let you gently rub her with a clean cloth ( face and top of tail at the base of she is OK) and then wipe the cloth around parts of your home that are at her head height. It may also be useful to have any items that might have had her previous owners scent one ( if that is possible) to also give a sense of comfort.

She should settle soon.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Sad story and she is likely confused and scared, especially if she has had just one lady owner before. It might be an idea to let your husband feed her some of the time, she will then get the idea that he's not a bad chap.
As for letting her out, I'd say a few weeks. Being from next door in one way is good in that if she gets out it is likely where she will head so you will know where to find her, but at the same time it is so close that I imagine initially she will go back there fairly often. Not sure what the situation is currently, but you don't want to risk her slipping back in thro' a door that may be left open by someone and getting locked in there again.
How kind of you to take her in...lucky cat to have you as a neighbour!


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## Duoikari (Feb 7, 2016)

Hi all, 

Thank you very much for all your advise and your support. 

Just to update you all on the situation, my neighbours brother has come forward and is willing to take the cat. I don't know what to do, as she has settled quite a lot with me but she is the only thing that he has left to remind him of her sister  and I feel I have no right to keep her.

He also has another cat and I don't know whether it would be a good thing for her.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

I would think a family member has the right to claim her tbh.

My mum was always adding to the cat family (waifs and strays always knew where to come ) and they all got on, so I wouldn't worry too much on that score.


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## kittih (Jan 19, 2014)

Unless your neighbour specifically left the cat to you I think the brother has a right to claim her. However why not give him your contact details and tell him that if it doesn't work out for any reason you will have her back.


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## LoopyL (Jun 16, 2015)

Her brother must be very upset at losing his sister so young   so would give him her cat + the advice given to you above & to do 
intros to his existing cat _very_ carefully to avoid traumatising her cat even more. You could also suggest you keep her for a while to give
him time to organise funeral etc which takes time & will keep him out of his house for hours at a time. I wouldn't let her out at all while she's
with you. Very well done taking her in :Cat


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Duoikari said:


> Hi all,
> 
> Thank you very much for all your advise and your support.
> 
> ...


''He is willing to take the cat'' does not sound the same as ''he wants the cat'' to me...although he may well. He may think that you have taken her out of the goodness of your heart and that he feels, as next of kin, that he should offer? He is decent tho' and a cat person, which is good news.
I recall a friend of mine, Ken, whose elderly lady neighbour died, leaving an elderly cat. Ken, an ex-policeman, heard banging at the back door of the neighbour's house and went out to investigate and found one of her three sons boarding up the cat flap. Ken, a real cat person, asked the son where the cat was and what was happening with her to which the son replied that he did not know and cared even less. Not one of the three sons would take responsibility for the cat's welfare, let alone give her a home. The flap was sealed and the cat left in the garden to fend for herself...she had been the mother's beloved companion for many years. Ken immediately took the cat in and kept her.
Some cats are not so lucky...and yes, agree with LoopyL who suggested you offer to keep her until he has organized all that needs to be done at this sad time. Do keep us updated.


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## Duoikari (Feb 7, 2016)

Calvine said:


> ''He is willing to take the cat'' does not sound the same as ''he wants the cat'' to me...although he may well.


That is my issue too. I felt like he wasn't snatching her off me because it was his sisters, although i think he's just concerned as his other cat (7 months old) might not get along with her, his words were 'He'd eat her alive' but i feel like being around a more confident cat might help her. When he came down the other day he did bring a carrier with him to take her so he was willing to take her but my OH told him to speak to me first.

I think again, he is upset and confused, he still has no idea of how she died and seem to only come around the other day for information, however he did offer then to take the cat but again expressed his concerns. He also had a falling out with his sister last year and is struggling himself and i wonder if him having the cat will help him with his lose.

He is coming around for her tonight and i shall tell him i will be more than willing to take the cat back if it doesn't work out.

I shall keep you all informed!


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## Duoikari (Feb 7, 2016)

*UPDATE*

Hi all, 

Just thought i'd give you all an update. I got home yesterday and waited for the Brother to come (was suppose to come at 5pm to get the cat) and i got a text at 4:50pm to say that he had spoke it over with his wife and because of both his other cat and his son they have decided not to take her. 

He did say he would find somewhere for her but i told we would be more than happy to keep her!
Me and my other half had already grown quite attached to her and did really want her to go, especially as she is starting to settle. 

Thank you all for your help and advise and you will probably here from me in the future on other boards.


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## lisa0307 (Aug 25, 2009)

Great news....please make sure that if she's microchipped, you get the ownership details transferred in to your name. Just in case she was to go missing in the future, you want them to have all the details up to date x


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## kittih (Jan 19, 2014)

Also if the brothers happy to do so ask him to find any paperwork relating to the cat at his sisters home to give to you including any vaccination or microchip details etc. Do you know which vet she used. Maybe if the brother is happy to write a letter explaining the circumstances of transfer of ownership the vet may be happy to discuss the cats medical history with you.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Great news...a new home _and_ another cat would have caused her even more stress. If you can find out at some point who her vet was (?) you'll be able to ascertain what treatments she's had done. Really glad it's worked out like this; she's a very lucky cat.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

She's better staying in her local environment where she knows the area and I believe she'll settle in faster without the burden of another cat.


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## LoopyL (Jun 16, 2015)

Brilliant news  what is her name?
I still wouldn't let her out for a few weeks til she's relaxed around both of you


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## Simons cats (Nov 4, 2014)

What a sad story but with a happy ending. Glad she's staying with you. let her adopt you on her terms. She's confused but once she knows what a wonderful person you are, which you obviously are, then you'll be owned!


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## Sh N (Dec 2, 2015)

Good Luck, and when you can, please post some pictures!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Duoikari said:


> I think again, he is upset and confused, he still has no idea of how she died and seem to only come around the other day for information, however he did offer then to take the cat but again expressed his concerns.* He also had a falling out with his sister last year and is struggling himself *and i wonder if him having the cat will help him with his lose.
> 
> He is coming around for her tonight and i shall tell him i will be more than willing to take the cat back if it doesn't work out.
> 
> I shall keep you all informed!


 A bereavement when there has been bad feeling is horrifically difficult to deal with - natural grief and pain are compounded by guilt and self-blame. He might even have said something like "Oh - drop dead!" and is now torturing himself. And for her body to have remained undiscovered for some time - that must make him feel dreadful. I think he has a lot of issues to deal with without thinking of adopting her cat.

You could suggest that you keep the cat until he has sorted out all necessary arrangements (there will most probably be an inquest) and come to terms with his sad loss. He must be in an awful state, poor man.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

lostbear said:


> A bereavement when there has been bad feeling is horrifically difficult to deal with - natural grief and pain are compounded by guilt and self-blame. He might even have said something like "Oh - drop dead!" and is now torturing himself. And for her body to have remained undiscovered for some time - that must make him feel dreadful. I think he has a lot of issues to deal with without thinking of adopting her cat.
> 
> You could suggest that you keep the cat until he has sorted out all necessary arrangements (there will most probably be an inquest) and come to terms with his sad loss. He must be in an awful state, poor man.


See the latest post, the man has decided that he's not going to have the cat


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Wiz201 said:


> See the latest post, the man has decided that he's not going to have the cat


Thanks Wizz - I hadn't realised - thought I'd read to the end but obviously not!


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## Duoikari (Feb 7, 2016)

Her name is cooper and I am not sure what breed or age she is. I showed a friend at work and she said looks rather young. The IAMS food she has is aged 1-6 years, will wait until the brother goes into the flat(which might be a couple of weeks or months) to see if he can find anything. I have told him I am here if he needs me. 

I think she might be a Bombay cat? Towards the end of the month we will try to take her to the vets if the brother doesn't find out more. Hopefully he can get something that belongs to the owner to help her.

I was worried last night as she slept in a bed that I made for using a box, towel and old duvet and didn't come out for the entire night. Worried she might be mourning and I can't help


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## Sh N (Dec 2, 2015)

@Duoikari She is beautiful. Looks a little bit like my little girl!
All she needs now is some love, cuddles and patience. Let her get to know you on her own terms. If she is sleeping, eating and using the litterbox, it means that she regards your home as a place where she can let her guard down and relax. 
If she is accepting food from you, that shows that she will eventually move on. Also, if she looks interested, try playing with her with one of those flying frenzy toys. playtime is a great bond for both you and her and will give her confidence and the urge to come out of her shell.

Good Luck! Again, she is a very lucky girl to have someone like you take her in.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Duoikari said:


> Her name is cooper and I am not sure what breed or age she is. I showed a friend at work and she said looks rather young. The IAMS food she has is aged 1-6 years, will wait until the brother goes into the flat(which might be a couple of weeks or months) to see if he can find anything. I have told him I am here if he needs me.
> 
> I think she might be a Bombay cat? Towards the end of the month we will try to take her to the vets if the brother doesn't find out more. Hopefully he can get something that belongs to the owner to help her.
> 
> I was worried last night as she slept in a bed that I made for using a box, towel and old duvet and didn't come out for the entire night. Worried she might be mourning and I can't help


Gorgeous - I love a "black and midnight" cat.


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

That's great news, everyone's happy. Much better that puss can stay where he's familiar.


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## LoopyL (Jun 16, 2015)

Cats like to sleep in boxes especially when turned into a cosy nest :Happy sounds like she's settling down with you very well 
Cooper is very beautiful  I like fluffy black cats  :Cat


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

Duoikari said:


> Her name is cooper and I am not sure what breed or age she is. I showed a friend at work and she said looks rather young. The IAMS food she has is aged 1-6 years, will wait until the brother goes into the flat(which might be a couple of weeks or months) to see if he can find anything.


Lovely cat, she might just be a typical short haired mog type just like mine. My female cat is not particularly big either but she's 9 years old so size doesn't always match age. Some cats don't fill out until middle age either so might look immature even past 1 or 2 years old.
She won't be mourning the loss of her human, cats live in the here and now so she probably won't remember her now. Her sleeping patterns are probably just out of sorts slightly but my cat after fussing on an evening will sleep for most of the night.
I would not recommend IAMS as a food to continue her on, I don't rate it myself. There are better foods in the PF feeding guide in the nutrition section.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Duoikari said:


> Her name is cooper and I am not sure what breed or age she is. I showed a friend at work and she said looks rather young. The IAMS food she has is aged 1-6 years, will wait until the brother goes into the flat(which might be a couple of weeks or months) to see if he can find anything. I have told him I am here if he needs me.
> 
> I think she might be a Bombay cat? Towards the end of the month we will try to take her to the vets if the brother doesn't find out more. Hopefully he can get something that belongs to the owner to help her.
> 
> I was worried last night as she slept in a bed that I made for using a box, towel and old duvet and didn't come out for the entire night. Worried she might be mourning and I can't help


Oh yes, she's gorgeous. I think the fact she sleeps all night is actually rather a good sign. I've had new cats that cried and loitered round the door all night, clearly unsettled...and many cats just hide away to begin with. But black cats do tend to be sensible and easy to own - at least mine all have been. But two of mine sleep on my bed and in the morning they have not moved an inch and don't stir until the light goes on. It sounds as though Cooper is starting to settle. I am glad that it has worked out well and that she is with you...how does she react to your husband now?


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## Shrike (Jun 25, 2015)

I'd be inclined to get her vet checked sooner rather than later, though she does sound like she's ok - just a bit confused about why she's now in a new space. I'd keep her in your flat for a few weeks before letting her out - and do this before a mealtime so you can tempt her back in! I expect she'll try to go back to her old flat though, but hopefully she'll soon learn where she lives now.
To find her old vet - do a search for "vet near me" which will give you some vet finding websites. Use this to find the nearest vets and then give each of them a call explaining the situation. If you know the late neighbour's full name that will be good, although my vet also indexes on the pet's name.


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## ALR (Apr 16, 2014)

Give her some time. It takes weeks for cats to get used to new environment and this cat has gone through a lot. It sounds as though she's doing very well with you. If she's eating, drinking and going to the toilet fine, then you can wait before taking her to the vet. If not, then she'd need a vet check earlier.

A cardboard box with bedding in is heaven for a cat so I'm not surprised that she didn't come out until she did (warm, safe and snuggly). If your neighbour's brother is decided then you'll need to change her microchip details and might need his permission. The vet will probably give him a call. It might help sending him pics of the cat looking relaxed and happy so he feels relieved. When things like this happen, family members are worried they're not doing 100% by their departed family member and it would be good to put his mind at rest.


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## p_marrison (Apr 25, 2016)

Hi there, apologies for Hijacking the thread but was wondering if i could get some advise as im in a similar situation as @Duoikari was.

I just found out my neighbor i was caring for passed away in hospital last night. He was a single male living alone and left his fairly young cat behind. I was caring for the cat feeding her and checking up on her visiting his flat everyday.
He has no other family as far as im aware of and i am thinking of taking in the cat iin permanently or until i can find her a new home. Me and my neighbor live a a small block flat where only our 2 flats were accessible via a hall way through the main door. 
I have moved her food and bed out into the hallway and leave my main door open so she can adjust a little but she keeps going down to my deceased neighbors door, scratching away and meowing which upsets me and is ruining the carpet outside. does anyone have any advice for me to make her more comfortable relocating to my apartment?

thanks


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## LoopyL (Jun 16, 2015)

Poor cat is bound to be confused but perhaps if you gave her a bed of your old neighbours jumper/whatever she'd feel reassured
by having something with his smell on in her new place? Very well done to you for adopting her :Happy


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## ALR (Apr 16, 2014)

This cat is very lucky that she has you. In cases where I've heard of a cat losing their owner, the poor cat is very confused (some people even think the cat mourns). But with time and patience she will come around. 

I would keep her indoors for a few weeks. Your place doesn't smell of her territory but within a few weeks, it will. Giving her a familiar scent is also a good idea until she settles. Once she starts going out she will check out her old home but the more she doesn't get a response the less she'll go round there. At some point, I'm sure the flat next door would have new owners. The best thing for them to do is to ignore her. 

Give her a lot of hiding places at yours and lot of time to settle. Let her get used to your voice and read to her if you can. If she'll play with toys, I'd play with her a little every day. Play tends to uplift a cat and it's a form of therapy but she might not want to play at first so take it progressively. 

Is she microchipped? If so, you'd need to change her details to your name. The vet would be able to do that if you explain the circumstances.


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