# New cat - a few questions



## Messyfreckle (Mar 3, 2013)

Hi, 

I'm brand new to the world of cats so apologies if this sounds rather basic! 

I got a re homed cat yesterday after months of searching and research. I thought I was totally ready for a cat, but now I'm not so sure. I feel very anxious and on edge. 

The cat I re homed is almost 2yrs old and is a moggy. He's a male cat who has been neutered and is up to date with all his jabs and treatments. 

I bought him home yesterday and got him all settled in. He seems really friendly and was straight out of his carry crate and into my lap for a cuddle. He's very affectionate...but i think maybe too affectionate. He wants to be literally as close to me as he can, his head sandwiched right against mine. I got no sleep last night because he was constantly patting my face and trying to snuggle up to me. It sounds cute, but it's very tiring. 

Is this something he is likely to get out of in the next few days or does this sound like a personality thing? He seemed quite aloof with his previous owners... Friendly and playful, but nowhere near as needy as he seems at the moment. 

I'm also concerned he's not used his litter tray since I got him home. It's been almost 24hrs and he's had 2meals since (dinner last night and brekkie this morning). Is this normal? 

He hasn't really been playing much either. As he's an indoor cat I'm a bit concerned he won't get enough energy spent, and end up keeping me awake every night wanting attention. 

Like I say , i'm a first time cat owner and despite doing all my research, i'm finding it much more difficult in practice. 

Tomorrow I'm back at work so he will be home alone all day. I've been out today for a while to get him used to being alone, but I'm quite worried how he will be, having experienced his neediness. 

I'm sure this is all perfectly normal, but I'm just a bit overwhelmed by it, which has taken me by by surprise. 

Any advice/reassurance welcomed!


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

Hi and welcome to the world of cat slavery 
I'm glad to hear your new boy has settled in so quickly and want to reassure you that it is very natural to be apprehensive now that you actually have him home.
Often when cats move to a new home they take a day or so before using the litter tray but watch to make sure he isn't going elsewhere. Are you using the litter and type of tray as he was used to before?
You can encourage him to play with toys like laser pens, dangling, fishing rod types of toy or even playing a game of fetch. If you are at work all day you can play those games in the evening which should tire him out so that you can get a good night's sleep  A meal at bedtime should help him to sleep too but if he really is troublesome you could try shutting him into a room at night where he has access to his litter tray and a drink.
I'm sure he will be fine and less needy once he settles in properly but I'd also recommend a feline friend to keep him company if you are still concerned


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## shortandfurry (Jan 30, 2013)

Messyfreckle said:


> I got no sleep last night because he was constantly patting my face and trying to snuggle up to me. It sounds cute, but it's very tiring.


Call me mean, but I wouldn't put up with that for more than 5 minutes.

Be gentle at first but tell him off, and put him where you want him to sleep - end of the bed, the floor, a bed/cushion somewhere, whatever.
If he carries on after you've told him off, scold him and physically put him off the bed, or out of the room if necessary.

Do you have anywhere established that's "his" space/bed?


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## Toby Tyler (Feb 17, 2013)

lymorelynn said:


> Hi and welcome to the world of cat slavery
> 
> I'm sure he will be fine and less needy once he settles in properly but I'd also recommend a feline friend to keep him company if you are still concerned


Welcome to the forums Messyfreckle 

You are going to love the wonderful world of cat slavery. There are so many on here to offer you advice and support. Personally I think it's lovely he has taken to you so quickly. Sounds like he may be a 'Velcro' cat, which many people, myself included, love. He's going to be a big lover boy :001_wub:

Second the suggestion to consider a playmate to occupy him. You would be surprised at how taking care of two is actually easier than caring for one. - and twice the fun! Also far less worry when you are away.

There is a Cat Cuddles thread in Cat Chat if you need any further convincing that two are twice the joy!


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Hi Messyfreckle

Sometimes cats can be very clingy when they are in a new environment, or with humans they don't know. It is placatory behaviour, stemming from anxiety. Basically the cat is saying "I am a nice cat, please look after me, and don't hurt me". My surmisal is reinforced by the fact you say he was not like this with his last owner.

I have no doubt this clingy kind of behaviour will lessen in time, once your cat feels settled and safe in your home. But hopefully, he will continue to be affectionate with you.

As for how to manage him at night, personally I do not think scolding him is the answer, at any point at present. My view is he is already displaying behaviour indicative of anxiety, and scolding him is likely to make him worse. You don't want to stop him snuggling with you by making him too afraid to do so.

Personally I do not have my cats sleeping with me at night, as after years of experience I have learnt they often disturb my sleep, one way or another.
So my cats sleep downstairs, shut in the (large) sitting room over night, with their litter trays and water bowl. When they first came to live with me as rescues, the routine at bedtime was to feed them a nice tasty bowl of wet food, stroke them, then I'd sit quietly in the darkened room with them, with a radio playing classical music very softly. I sat still, and didn't pay them any attention and pretty soon they would settle down for sleep, and I could tiptoe out of the room and go to my bed.

After a few weeks of this they were in the routine and I no longer had to stay with them to get them to settle. They would just eat their supper and then put themselves to bed. They are always still asleep in the same places in the morning when my OH gets up to let them out, and then they come up on the bed for a morning snuggle with me!

It is true my cats have each other for company over night, but in the past I have followed the same routine when I had only one cat, and it worked well too.

As you are planning on keeping your cat indoors all the time, it is important he has enough daily stimulus, and gets enough exercise. So provide plenty of climbing opportunities for him, such as several tall cat trees, and maybe put up some shelves for him to sit high up. Here are some ideas to inspire you, you could copy

Image Search Results for shelving for cats

Also possibly consider getting an cheap powered treadmill (the type for humans) which you can use for supervised play with a laser toy.

If your house is big enough to provide enough space for 2 indoor cats then I'd consider getting a cat companion for him. Perhaps a young female.


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## CoCoTrio (Jan 3, 2013)

Messyfreckle said:


> I got no sleep last night because he was constantly patting my face and trying to snuggle up to me.


That does sound tiring, but very lovely too. :001_wub: I'm a little envious.


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## Messyfreckle (Mar 3, 2013)

It is lovely, and I do feel bad moaning about it, but I do need my beauty sleep and I don't think it's particularly healthy for the cat either. We'll see how he is once he's settled in.


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## Messyfreckle (Mar 3, 2013)

CoCoTrio said:


> That does sound tiring, but very lovely too. :001_wub: I'm a little envious.


It is lovely, and I do feel bad moaning about it, but I do need my beauty sleep and I don't think it's particularly healthy for the cat either. We'll see how he is once he's settled in


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## Toby Tyler (Feb 17, 2013)

chillminx said:


> Hi Messyfreckle
> 
> As for how to manage him at night, personally *I do not think scolding him is the answer,* at any point at present. My view is he is already displaying behaviour indicative of anxiety, and scolding him is likely to make him worse. You don't want to stop him snuggling with you by making him too afraid to do so.
> 
> If your house is big enough to provide enough space for 2 indoor cats then I'd consider getting a cat companion for him. Perhaps a young female.


I have to strongly agree with this. Cat's don't respond to scolding or other 'negative' reinforcement like water squirting (except in dire circumstances), IMO.

If one of my lot jumps on the kitchen table or counter, where they are not allowed, I say 'down' and their name firmly but in a normal tone of voice. I might shake a finger at them for good measure  Amazingly they do jump right down. Of course they are told what good boys they are when they mind their mum


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## Kyria (Oct 29, 2011)

I dont think you should scold him. He doesnt know you. I feel you need to make him feel loved and secure and let him know you are a nice human who will always take care of him.
When Tipsy my 2 year old first came to live with us he was quite clingy, he would love nothing more than a good old cuddle and fall to sleep on your lap.
How things have changed, now he knows that this is his home, although still loving he wont sit on our laps and only will sit or be picked up on his terms.
I think this is because he knows this is his forever home and he feels secure and comfortable with us. Id make the most of it


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## Messyfreckle (Mar 3, 2013)

chillminx said:


> Hi Messyfreckle
> 
> Sometimes cats can be very clingy when they are in a new environment, or with humans they don't know. It is placatory behaviour, stemming from anxiety. Basically the cat is saying "I am a nice cat, please look after me, and don't hurt me". My surmisal is reinforced by the fact you say he was not like this with his last owner.
> 
> ...


Thanks ever so much for the reassurance 

I also agree telling off isn't the way forward to deal with the nighttime stuff... I think tonight I'm going to try him with the bedroom door shut. I wanted to let him have roam of the flat and although his bed is in the living room, I didn't want to shut him in there but I might have to try it, at least until he's settled and is familiar with his own bed.

Unfortunately I don't have space for 2 cats, so a playmate is not an option. I've got him a variety of different type of toys for stimulus as a scratch post/tree. I'm going to go tomorrow and get a laser pen and a rush mat for scratching.

I've got a spray bottle of water (mist) for disciplining as I found he's a bit of a pain when I'm having dinner, waiting to be right in my face the entire time. Used it with a "no" warning word to keep him off me while I'm eating, making sure I gave him lots of praise after I'd finished for being good.


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

I dont think scolding him is the answer either, i think he is showing tou how pleased he is and happy to be in a new loving home
He will probably grow out of this behaviour before long when he feels more secure, 
I would pet him and cuddle him, then show him gently where he should sleep, then pet him again in the morning so he knows you were not cross with him, 
At least he isnt an offhand cat that you are going to have to struggle with settling in


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## Tao2 (Sep 9, 2012)

Just want to give you my experience if it helps: many years ago we rehomed a male cat, approx 2-4 years old. When we got him home he was very bold and OTT affectionate to the point of insanity!! We got absolutely no sleep the first night as he was either jumping all over us, or, when we locked him out of the room, yowling and shredding the carpet to get back at us! Me and OH cowered in bed and discussed wether or not to return him next day. Fortunately we didn't and had him for 14 wonderful years. Naturally he calmed down a lot!! Hang in there! And let us know how things are going. And photos!..


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## Messyfreckle (Mar 3, 2013)

Tao2 said:


> Just want to give you my experience if it helps: many years ago we rehomed a male cat, approx 2-4 years old. When we got him home he was very bold and OTT affectionate to the point of insanity!! We got absolutely no sleep the first night as he was either jumping all over us, or, when we locked him out of the room, yowling and shredding the carpet to get back at us! Me and OH cowered in bed and discussed wether or not to return him next day. Fortunately we didn't and had him for 14 wonderful years. Naturally he calmed down a lot!! Hang in there! And let us know how things are going. And photos!..


Thanks for the reassurance!

He actually calmed down lots last night. I thought i'd give him one last go at a night with free roam of the flat. I figured if he was still being disruptive, i'd close the bedroom door tonight. As it was, he was fine. He was no longer pawing my face or needing to be right on top of me at all times, and was quite contented sleeping either on top of the wardrobe or curled up at the bottom of my bed.

Long may it continue!

Today is the first day he's been left home alone, as i'm at work all day. Quite nervous about how he's gonna be when I get in. Especially as I need to do a flea treatment tonight as i'm not sure when he had his last one with his previous owners. I'm fairly sure he's not going to have been destructive...but we'll see!


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## Messyfreckle (Mar 3, 2013)

Here he is! He's such a cutie, and so so small, though fully grown.


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

shortandfurry said:


> Call me mean, but I wouldn't put up with that for more than 5 minutes.
> 
> *Be gentle at first but tell him off, and put him where you want him to sleep - end of the bed, the floor, a bed/cushion somewhere, whatever.
> If he carries on after you've told him off, scold him and physically put him off the bed, or out of the room if necessary*.
> ...


I have to disagree that is very harsh and will only make him fearful and insecure 

Welcome to the forum Messyfreckle,your boy is a very handsome lad,what is his name,sorry if I missed it 
As you seem to have found out he is only finding his feet and learning all about his new environment and new slave


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## Messyfreckle (Mar 3, 2013)

buffie said:


> I have to disagree that is very harsh and will only make him fearful and insecure
> 
> Welcome to the forum Messyfreckle,your boy is a very handsome lad,what is his name,sorry if I missed it
> 
> As you seem to have found out he is only finding his feet and learning all about his new environment and new slave


Yeah I think just giving him a week or so to settle in, but making sure I don't encourage or create any bad habits for him that are going to be difficult to break.

He's called Milo, and is quite a cutie! Got him insured today with Pets At Home, and am going to the vets tonight to register him and set up an appointment for a general check up.


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

Messyfreckle said:


> Yeah I think just giving him a week or so to settle in, but making sure I don't encourage or create any bad habits for him that are going to be difficult to break.
> 
> He's called Milo, and is quite a cutie! Got him insured today with Pets At Home, and am going to the vets tonight to register him and set up an appointment for a general check up.


Welcome Milo .
Hope your vet appt goes well.if you have any other concerns/worries or just want to join in the madness that is "Pet Forum" there is always someone around 
Just one little question for you,regarding your pet insurance,have you insured Milo with a "life long" policy that is a policy that will pay out a set amount every year if Milo has an illness/injury that will be with him for more than a year or is it a "12 month" policy....one that only pays out a set amount for 12 months.


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## Jansheff (Jan 31, 2011)

He's lovely. My 3 all are shut in the kitchen at night as well, or the Burmese insist on sleeping DOWN the bed and Raffy on top of someone and he's heavy. They have a routine now of being fed last thing and shut in - in fact they often tell us it's bedtime by trying to get us to feed them.

We often get up half an hour early and let them free for a snuggle before getting up though!


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## Meezey (Jan 29, 2013)

He is a little cutey good luck with him, I'm sure he will settle in no time, welcome to you both, hope his first day home alone went well too


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

Oh he is LOVELY and I am very glad to hear that he is settling in now and calming down.


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## Toby Tyler (Feb 17, 2013)

He's beautiful and so distinguished looking in his tuxedo  You are going to have so much fun and love from your Velcro boy :001_wub:


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