# Kitten behaviour/suckling etc



## londonkittens (Sep 24, 2013)

Bonkers and Boo Boo are 12 weeks old today. We got them at 6 weeks as their mother was rejecting them and the breeder wanted them gone. We have been overwhelmingly lucky with them - they settled immediately, we've had no sleepless nights, they're in rude health, they eat well, they take their wormer etc easily and they have always been perfect with their litter tray.

After a week of having them my husband went away with work (bad timing but we were expecting to get them at 12 weeks, when he would be back, not 6). For the first four weeks they were here I was home with them pretty much 24/7 - the longest they would have been left was about 4 hours. In the past few weeks I've had to go out a bit more, but still they've still had me around most of the time.

He got back last week. The kittens were happy to see him back, and were very affectionate with him. They've been sleeping on his chest and running to greet him when he gets in. However, they have suddenly also become extremely clingy with me. Right now, as I write this, I have one in my lap and one on my arm and they are both suckling my jumper. They're doing this all the time. This morning my husband let them into the bedroom and they both crawled into the bed and sucked on my pyjamas immediately.

They've always been very affectionate, and will follow me about the flat and sit at my feet when I'm doing chores etc, but now if they're not playing they actually want to be physically attached to me all the time, instead of sleeping in one of their many beds and cat trees. Yesterday, when I was getting dressed. Bonkers jumped from the bed onto my back and just clung there, like a backpack.

If I remove them they jump back on. I do most of my work from home and really cannot give them undivided attention 24/7, but at the same time I don't want to discourage this loving behaviour, because it is really lovely. I don't mind the suckling behaviour either. I know it's for comfort and may be because they were separated from their mother way too early, but when I'm at home I always wear loungey clothes and I don't mind them getting soggy.

When I go out/overnight they are contained in the kitchen diner, where they have a changing selection of toys, two beds, a cat tree, food etc (and I put a litter tray in for the period they are in there). They don't get upset when this happens and don't cry. From what I can gather they eat, play and fall asleep, and are usually still soundo when I go in to let them out in the morning. I could put them in there for a few hours every day while I work, but I would much prefer it if they could learn to be a bit more independent while I'm here and retain the run of the house.

I assume that the reappearance of my husband might have triggered this period of clingyness, but at the same time, they are happy to sit on him to be loved, go to him voluntarily, and will sleep on him, so they are obviously comfortable with him around. They're not spooked by any of the fireworks etc that have started going off around here at night from what I can see (they ignore them).

Does anyone have experience of this and advice on how to handle it?


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

I think you are right about the suckling because they left their mum too young, I had a cat who did this all her life,until she passed away at 18 years old, she was only 7 weeks when I got her, and it didn't bother me at all,
As for this change when your husband came back, I don't really know unless its because they are treating you as they would their mum eg; running to mum when they are worried about something and feeling safe , it might well stop again when they are used to him being there again
Sorry that's all I can think of


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## londonkittens (Sep 24, 2013)

Thanks Jaycee, I did think it might be that. 

It's very nice that they are so attached to me, and I'm glad that I can provide them with the security that they need (they are babies after all), but I do want them to have a degree of independence too. They will be house cats, but there will be times when I have to go away for extended periods of work, leaving my husband at home (holding the babies - so to speak), so I want to encourage their self confidence too. It's not an issue for the time being, as I probably won't need to go away until they're at least six months old, if not older, by which time they will have matured a lot, but I don't want to ingrain any bad habits now.


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

I'm very pleased to hear these little kits are doing so well in spite of being taken from their mum so young. Well done you! 

I think it would be a good idea to settle them in the Kitchen Diner with some food, water & litter tray for a few hours every afternoon (a time when most cats sleep) whilst you work. I had to do this with my 2 kittens years ago when I worked from home. When I allowed them free run of the house I got no work done, as they were constantly interrupting demanding my attention, wanting cuddles or playtime, and objecting noisily to being ignored. 

Giving them some time apart from you during the day will encourage more independence, which will be a good for them, and they will get used to the temporary separation, especially if you make it a similar time every day. Cats and kittens thrive on routine.

It may be cute they are so clingy now, when they are little, but would not be so much fun if they remained clingy as adults. 

I am sure, as a previous poster has said, some of their increased clinginess is due to your husband's return and the kits feeling an underlying anxiety at a *new* human coming into the house (they may not remember him from before he went away). They are very keen to make friends with him, hence all the snuggles etc because instinctively they know it is their best chance of *taming* the humans!  Once they are used to him I am sure they will be less demonstrative all the time.


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## londonkittens (Sep 24, 2013)

Thanks Chillminx. Sorry I didn't get back to this sooner.

You're both absolutely right. Husband has been back 2 weeks now and the cats have completely settled down. They're still cuddly, but no longer clingy and the suckling, though still happening occasionally, is very much reduced. Bonkers' new favourite thing is to lie across my husband's left shoulder as H goes about his business in the house. He'll stay up there for ages and complains loudly if he is evicted before he's ready 

I've started to pop them in the kitchen for a few hours during the day when I need quiet to work and they just go and sleep on their cat tree until I let them out (or will even continue sleeping once the door is open).

They had their booster jabs at the weekend and the vet commented on how they were two of the happiest, healthiest kittens he'd ever seen. Very pleased as you can imagine


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

Suspect the 'breeder' simply wanted rid. Not many cats stop suckling at 6 weeks - Lola is still letting Eadlin suckle (no milk though) and Eadlin is now over 4 months old! My first cat, Sparky, was still happily suckling her kittens when they were 13 weeks old.


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## we love bsh's (Mar 28, 2011)

Iv never been completely convinced that early weaned kittens equals suckling kittens reason been is my kittens leave at 12/13 weeks and some have been sucklers.

Are these pedigree kittens or mixed breed kittens? Just curious as you say breeder was going to keep them till 12 weeks.


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## tochica (May 6, 2013)

Smokey suckles too. According to the vet and from pics around the net they were like four weeks old when we took them, my dad's dog found them in a bush while we were walking her. There are a lot of strays here, but I am more inclined to believe they had been thrown away, as we had been walking past this street every day and there was no sign of kittens, and there was no sign of mum either. 

Anyway we've always assumed she suckles because she was separated way too young. Bandit was suckling for a week or so and then stopped. Smokey does it a lot. We used to put her on the ground or move away from her when she starts or give her a threat to take her mind off but nothing helped long term. Since she'd been ill few weeks ago we just let her suckle. I wouldn't say she is clingy although she spends most of her sleeping time during the day on my oh's lap. It's not that it bothers us I am just not sure if it's bad for her as it doesn't feel right but then I read of tons of kittens that do that so... She mainly likes suckling on fleecy things but when none available she suckles on her paws.

Edit: There is a stray who had 4 kittens this summer and four more on top from another cat who wasn't feeding them. They used to stay on this small electricity building (i don't think you have them in the uk) that's just across our flat and we observed them a lot. Anyway she used to feed all 8 and she fed them until they were like 5 months old, at least her own were as the black ones were a bit younger.


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## Cosmills (Oct 3, 2012)

Am not convinced at all ... I think ppl are to quick with the leaving mum to quick statement , yes it can be but not all the time .. I have two adult girls that still have a little suck and they didnt leave mum until 14 weeks also have 18 week old kittens that also suckle and they didnt leave my queen until 15 weeks ... I really do put it down to comfort .. They may grow out if it they may not ...


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

Well kittens that carry on suckling at an older age do it because its a comfort thing maybe, but kittens at 4weeks suckle because they need to have milk off mum and miss that when taken away too soon, just my opinion really


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## meg2 (Oct 25, 2011)

hi mine left mum at 6 weeks also, she also will suck my jumper when she settles down for a sleep. it's so sad when she is looking for the nipple and gets frustrated when she cant find one, she looks at me and meow's, poor little love, she manages to suck on the fluffy bit of the jumper and settles down.
she is 12 weeks now and is doing this a lot less.


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## tochica (May 6, 2013)

Smokey is 6 months now and she does it a lot, I don't think she will grow out of it. I am not sure if she does it because she was separated early but I've always assumed so. OH also thinks she does it for comfort as she mainly starts when she comes to cuddle. If she is say asleep and you go and stroke her it will most likely set her off. I just can't figure if she really enjoys it or does it frustrate her. I just hope it's the former.


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## turnips (Sep 20, 2013)

Jupiter's been doing this since we got him at 10 weeks, he's currently 16 weeks. He does it less than he used to, and I don't mind really. He only suckles on my boyfriend's and mine dressing gowns, and only when one of us is wearing ours. He doesn't seem to mind that there's no milk, and he seems happy doing it so I just view it as a chance for a morning cuddle.


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## we love bsh's (Mar 28, 2011)

strange how its mostly dressing gowns isnt it.


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

My 18 year old cat did this all her life, she passed away a few months ago, but she used to suck on my pyjama sleeves, so yes it does seem to nightwear for some reason, unless its just they are settled down then too
She was very young when I got her and so small she used to craw up my sleeve and I would carry her around all day like that if she wanted


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## Aeschylus (Sep 19, 2013)

I had a cat years ago that did this and I think (but I'm not sure) that she stayed with her mum until 12 or 13 weeks.

On the other hand, one of the kittens I have now was 6 weeks old when she was taken from her mum, and she doesn't do it. 

There might be a correlation with age of leaving the mother cat, but I'm not sure how significant it is. I remember that back in the day I thought the sucking was kinda cute.


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

Aeschylus said:


> I had a cat years ago that did this and I think (but I'm not sure) that she stayed with her mum until 12 or 13 weeks.
> 
> On the other hand, one of the kittens I have now was 6 weeks old when she was taken from her mum, and she doesn't do it.
> 
> There might be a correlation with age of leaving the mother cat, but I'm not sure how significant it is. I remember that back in the day I thought the sucking was kinda cute.


Wiggins is a terrible suckler and he was with his mum until 11 weeks or so....she was still feeding them at this stage.
I thought he had grown out of it....but since the advent of winter and the return of fleece clothing, he has picked up where he left off. It is quite funny, but he is VERY insistent when he wants to latch on.


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## carly87 (Feb 11, 2011)

I suspect it's nightware because that, more than any other piece of clothing, is really saturated in our smell, which they will view as their safety.

I think there's a slight correlation between leaving mum and suckling, but I would say that there's a larger correlation between an event in their life which the kitten views as traumatic, and I would say this triggers the suckling. It just so happens that leaving mum can be pretty traumatic. I have one girl here who is 17 months, is still with her mum, and who suckles on my hands and arms any chance she gets. It all started when her siblings began to leave for new homes. She didn't show any more overt distress than any of the other kittens, but when the last one left, her suckling reached a frenzy, and took months to die down enough that she could be easily discouraged. Still though, if she's feeling tired or upset or just a bit uneasy, she'll come for a suck. After 14 months, I've got her to the stage where she's content if she can just put her face in my hand rather than suckling skin, but that's taken so much hard work.


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## Aeschylus (Sep 19, 2013)

carly87 said:


> I have one girl here who is 17 months, is still with her mum... Still though, if she's feeling tired or upset or just a bit uneasy, she'll come for a suck. After 14 months, I've got her to the stage where she's content if she can just put her face in my hand rather than suckling skin, but that's taken so much hard work.


That's really interesting: her mum's there but she comes to you - perhaps because her mum won't allow it? Or she just prefers you?

I have friends who did extended breastfeeding, until the kids were five or six, and people criticised them saying, "They only do it for comfort," and I thought: So what? What's wrong with comforting them?

And it's not exactly the same, but I have the same response about cats who suck: if it comforts them, and they're not sucking on something that could harm them, where's the problem? Just my two cents.


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## carly87 (Feb 11, 2011)

Her mum weaned her kitts at 5 weeks and would allow comfort suckling only after that. That completely stopped by 12 weeks, but none of the kittens minded. Mum is quite firm about not sucking, so she comes to me instead. Although from about 4 weeks, this particular kitten did view me as her safe place, running to me when play got too rough or something new scared her etc, so it doesn't really surprise me that it extended to suckling. It can be hard though as she's a very anxious little soul. Appears bubbly and bright on the surface, but if I go away for a few days, she picks at her food. If things change in the house, she has to wait for me to go through the changes with her and reassure her that everything's Ok. If something new happens, she comes to me to almost ask what it is and to see whether she should worry or not. I think personality has a lot to do with suckling too, particularly in her case, as she definitely uses it as a reassurance, a baseboard if you will, to reassure her that the rest of the world is Ok.


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## londonkittens (Sep 24, 2013)

we love bsh's said:


> Are these pedigree kittens or mixed breed kittens? Just curious as you say breeder was going to keep them till 12 weeks.


They're moggies, although we're starting to believe that Boo Boo has Bengal cross in him owing to his developing markings, build, demeanour etc. The breeder is our neighbour, and when he first offered us the kitts we said yes but we wanted them to stay with mum upto 12 weeks. He said yes at the time, but looking back he really wasn't keen at all. He was considering a rescue centre as well, so I don't think he was keen to keep hold of them.

We looked after mum and kittens during week 5-6 as he went away on holiday (yes, I know) and we did witness her repeatedly refusing to feed them. Honestly? I don't think he was feeding her enough to sustain herself and the kittens (one pouch of Whiskas and a handful of Go Cat split between her and the kitts per day!) and she also didn't have anywhere she could go to have a little peace from the marauding kittens, so I think she just got thoroughly fed up. We increased the food drastically but I think the damage was done. By the time we took them she would leave whichever room they were in. If they came too close she would attack, and not in a 'mummy teaching her kittens' way.

Edited to add - it seems to be a fleece/wool thing with the suckling. I recently bought a fleece onesie and the second I sit down they're all over it. We also had a fleece blanket which I've had to consign to the cat bed as they love to lie on it and suckle. My woolly cardigan is also a big hit.


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

londonkittens said:


> > I don't think he was feeding her enough to sustain herself and the kittens (one pouch of Whiskas and a handful of Go Cat split between her and the kitts per day!) and she also didn't have anywhere she could go to have a little peace from the marauding kittens, so I think she just got thoroughly fed up.
> 
> 
> When I hear things like this (which I often do) it makes me wonder whether there are ANY responsible caring breeders of moggies
> Or are nearly all moggie kittens born these days because the owner of the mother cat was too lazy or selfish to bother getting her spayed before she came into heat!:mad2: Sometimes I despair, I really do....


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## londonkittens (Sep 24, 2013)

Oh this was definitely 'an accident'. 

If any good can come of this (apart from our wonderful boys of course) he has now had her spayed and I have seen mummy cat out and about and she looks in fantastic health. Her weight is back up and her coat is gleaming. 

And, thankfully, at least our boys were very healthy.


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## tochica (May 6, 2013)

carly87 said:


> I think personality has a lot to do with suckling too, particularly in her case, as she definitely uses it as a reassurance, a baseboard if you will, to reassure her that the rest of the world is Ok.


That's very interesting as Smokey is just the opposite. She seems a lot less bothered than her sister about unusual stuff going on. Like for example they were drilling today next door and of course she hid together with Bandit but on the 10th minute she stopped caring and even continued playing while Bandit stayed hidden until it stopped. She also doesn't seem to mind strangers too. When we found them she was literally walking towards the dogs mouth! And she wasn't scared of us at all from the very beginning while Bandit took few days to stop hissing at us. Of the two Smokey is definitely more clingy, thought.

Apart from that Smokey is also very intent when she suckles. If you put your hand under her chin she might stop and fall asleep like that but she would start again the moment you remove your hand. As I said earlier she likes fleecy things but she will suckle on her paws too, doesn't seem to like fingers though. We are just not sure if we should discourage her or not, as she would take a treat or you can engage her playing and she would forget to suckle but stroking and cuddling almost always sets her off.


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## carly87 (Feb 11, 2011)

But Apache's not afraid of things as long as I'm around. She doesn't hide when the hoover comes out, is always willing to go and meet a stranger, and loves an adventure. When I say changes, I mean big changes like a sofa move etc, something that makes a big change in her environment.


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## tochica (May 6, 2013)

Oh I see. Something like the gamma type P. M. describes at What Cat Personality Will Be a Good Match? I suppose. I am not sure if Smokey is like that, they both seem excited when stuff are moved around. They love it when their cat tree gets moved during the Saturday's cleaning for example. To be honest Smokey is a lot harder for me to figure.

What I can't seem to find answer to is should we encourage her to stop suckling or should we let her be.


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## carly87 (Feb 11, 2011)

I encouraged Apache to stop suckling, mainly because I didn't like huge wet patches on my clothing, and didn't want her to suckle on visitors' clothing, as I cna't vouch for where it's been (not that she's ever tried). Different people have different views though, so just go with your gut.


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## Aeschylus (Sep 19, 2013)

chillminx said:


> londonkittens said:
> 
> 
> > When I hear things like this (which I often do) it makes me wonder whether there are ANY responsible caring breeders of moggies
> ...


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