# Is it too much to ask



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

That I get a little support and that I'm able to talk to my boyfriend

I'm on the 5:2 diet ad I struggled a bit today so I was just having a little complain to my boyfriend, trying to tell him how I was feeling (which isn't easy for me and now I remember why)

A few weeks ago he was complaining that I'm always speaking to people on forums and that I shoud speak to him more

So anyway when I was having a little rant, what did he do

Did he let me rant and then give me a hug? No

Did he tell me I'm strong and that I'm going to make a success of this? No

Did he offer me words of motivation? No

Did he try to make me feel better? No

He said..... "Don't complain because there's nothing I can do" 

He seems to think that people should only complain if something can be done

He did give me a hug and he asked me how I felt, I said like **** and instead of asking why he took a huff and was like "oh well if I make you feel like **** I won't bother hugging you"  I never even mentioned him!

Now I have supported this man through a lot and i listen to him rant and complain but when it comes to me needing him it's like he's not there, it's almost as if he's like oh just get over it or in a round about way telling me I'm not allowed to complain, i know people are probably going to say I'm being dramatic or that it's somehow my fault but is it too much to ask that I get a little bit of support?


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## moggiemum (Mar 28, 2013)

aww give him a hug and say your sorry for ranting, it d be worth it just to see the look of suprise on his face


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## Mese (Jun 5, 2008)

My ex was very undemonstrative vocally & physically when it came to me needing boosting up ... his way of doing things was to give practical advice on the situation but show his support in other ways , maybe bringing me a little surprise pressie or buying me my fave food ... all done in a very offhand way , it was just his way (and seeing as he is still my best friend its still his way , lol)

Maybe your fella is 'wired' the same way hun , if thats the case its better to understand that and not expect him to give more than he can , expecting anything else is setting him up to fail and you to be miserable , which just makes your situation even worse

You have your online friends for a emotional boost and support , it sounds like you're better off using them for that and your bf for everything else (that sounds awful but you know what I mean , lol)


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Mese said:


> My ex was very undemonstrative vocally & physically when it came to me needing boosting up ... his way of doing things was to give practical advice on the situation but show his support in other ways , maybe bringing me a little surprise pressie or buying me my fave food ... all done in a very offhand way , it was just his way (and seeing as he is still my best friend its still his way , lol)
> 
> Maybe your fella is 'wired' the same way hun , if thats the case its better to understand that and not expect him to give more than he can , expecting anything else is setting him up to fail and you to be miserable , which just makes your situation even worse
> 
> You have your online friends for a emotional boost and support , it sounds like you're better off using them for that and your bf for everything else (that sounds awful but you know what I mean , lol)


He doesn't really show it in other ways

I don't really have any online friends


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## porps (Jun 23, 2011)

i'm the same tbh... if ppl moan to me my first thought is generally "what dya expect me to do about it?" (assuming theres actually nothing i can do). Hell, even when people cry over the death of someone they knew my first thought is usually "crying isnt achieving anything".

if i ever do manage to offer comfort to someone it's only because i'm choosing not to voice thoughts such as these anymore cos i know they'll be percieved as heartlessness, and instead say the kind of things i think my mother or sisters would say in the same situation, even if it sounds to me like im just repeating meaningless cliches.


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## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

No,you deffo aren't asking for too much Hun. When you're in a relationship then you both should be there to support each other through the good times and the bad. You know where I am if ever you need someone to talk to x


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## grumpy goby (Jan 18, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> He doesn't really show it in other ways
> 
> I don't really have any online friends


Isn't being your FT carer showing he cares? he is with you 24/7 and cooks, cleans and helps you get about etc...

Maybe those actions speak louder than words.

_Posted from Petforums.co.uk App for Android_


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

grumpy goby said:


> Isn't being your FT carer showing he cares? he is with you 24/7 and cooks, cleans and helps you get about etc...
> 
> Maybe those actions speak louder than words.
> 
> _Posted from Petforums.co.uk App for Android_


Carers aren't always carers because they care, I need support doing this diet otherwise I'm never going to be able to do it


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

xgemma86x said:


> No,you deffo aren't asking for too much Hun. When you're in a relationship then you both should be there to support each other through the good times and the bad. You know where I am if ever you need someone to talk to x


Thank you, that means a lot


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## grumpy goby (Jan 18, 2012)

But he isn't a carer in the sense that he's paid to do it... he is a carer because you are his girlfriend... he is doing it purely out of the goodness of his heart.

Not a lot of men would do that you know... maybe it needs to go both ways?

Not everyone is the vocal supportive type, I'd have thought you of all people would appreciate that as tour not exactly the fluffy type yourself.

He may well feel that he is already supporting you in every way he can by looking after you every day 24hrs

_Posted from Petforums.co.uk App for Android_


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## porps (Jun 23, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Carers aren't always carers because they care, I need support doing this diet otherwise I'm never going to be able to do it


It sounds to me like your setting it up in your head to be his fault if you fail.



tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Did he tell me I'm strong and that I'm going to make a success of this?


If you know what you want to hear why dont you tell yourself that, instead of telling yourself that you will fail without support?


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

grumpy goby said:


> But he isn't a carer in the sense that he's paid to do it... he is a carer because you are his girlfriend... he is doing it purely out of the goodness of his heart.
> 
> Not a lot of men would do that you know... maybe it needs to go both ways?
> 
> ...


Yeah well he knows I need to be supported with this diet and I'm sorry but telling me not to complain isn't supportive

And I support him, as you say I'm not fluffy so it's hard for me but I still do it, it's not like we are both inundated with supportive people

And I've sat and listened to him complain countless times


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

porps said:


> It sounds to me like your setting it up in your head to be his fault if you fail.


Not at all, if I fail it will all be on me

But a lot of people need support when they are trying to lose weight



> If you know what you want to hear why dont you tell yourself that, instead of telling yourself that you will fail without support?


Because it doesn't work when I tell myself

That's why my blog in here worked but now I don't even have that for support, I have no support


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## Mese (Jun 5, 2008)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> He doesn't really show it in other ways
> 
> I don't really have any online friends


Well theres a reason you stay with him , so he must show you he cares in some way

As for online friends you have people on here who give you advice and show support , they may not be good friends in the sense of the word but they care about you and your situation or they wouldnt bother posting


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## grumpy goby (Jan 18, 2012)

Ok I get to use my new life motto.

Be the f'cking boss.

No one but you has control of your destiny. No one but you will make or break achieving this goal.
No one but you has control of what goes in your mouth.

Take control of your sh't.

Stand up, move on, quit moaning. be the boss.

_Posted from Petforums.co.uk App for Android_


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Mese said:


> Well theres a reason you stay with him , so he must show you he cares in some way
> 
> As for online friends you have people on here who give you advice and show support , they may not be good friends in the sense of the word but they care about you and your situation or they wouldnt bother posting


I'm not allowed to talk about my diet on here apparently


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## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I'm not allowed to talk about my diet on here apparently


Wtf? Why not?


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## grumpy goby (Jan 18, 2012)

xgemma86x said:


> Wtf? Why not?


Go check out the 5 2 diet threads in health to answer that.

Its not that she's not allowed, its just they get closed down due to arguments. (Can't start a new thread to continue a locked one)

_Posted from Petforums.co.uk App for Android_


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## Cheryl89 (Jun 24, 2013)

I prefer PF to actually talking to my OH sometimes with certain subjects, he can be quite blunt with things and doesn't usually help me out emotionally wise - but mind you I'm very independent and strong minded but when I need a chat he'll sit and listen to me of course 

A few weeks ago when I found my neighbours cat dead, it really upset me for the whole day but as my OH doesn't really like cats but I adore them he had nothing to say - so I was mega p'eed off at him for around 3 days lol :nono:

Hope you get the support you search for from him soon as you are in a relationship so it does work both ways x


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## IrishEyes (Jun 26, 2012)

porps said:


> Hell, even when people cry over the death of someone they knew my first thought is usually "*crying isnt achieving anything".*


But it does, crying is a stress reliever.

OP, I think men are just wired differently to us women, I do think they tend to complain less than us and aren't really comfortable when we offload onto them as they don't really know what they are supposed to do with that! They tend to keep things to themselves.

Of course, only you know him so it's not for us to judge on whether or not he is supportive enough.


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## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

grumpy goby said:


> Go check out the 5 2 diet threads in health to answer that.
> 
> Its not that she's not allowed, its just they get closed down due to arguments. (Can't start a new thread to continue a locked one)
> 
> _Posted from Petforums.co.uk App for Android_


I'm in the process of reading them and seems to me that people have started about her for no reason  Doesn't make sense.


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## grumpy goby (Jan 18, 2012)

xgemma86x said:


> Quote:
> 
> Originally Posted by grumpy goby
> 
> ...


I know. but as it happened on three seperate threads they just said stop reposting as it will just continue.

_Posted from Petforums.co.uk App for Android_


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## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

Tink, it seems to me you have wrapped yourself up in a bubble...that being 'your oh and forums'. You need to experience more of what life has to offer...and quit with the 'I can't do it cos I'm disabled' crap. You can find your own way of doing things if you try hard enough and I know that because I'm disabled too, but I will be bolloxed if I'm letting someone else do everything for me. Ffs where's your backbone girl.


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## porps (Jun 23, 2011)

IrishEyes said:


> But it does, crying is a stress reliever.


You may well be right - i certainly never claimed that i was right about it, just that it was the thought that always pops into my head. I also tend to think that crying is something babies and women (mainly) do for attention (wether they know thats the reason they are doing it or not) and that adults should grow up instead of tear up. I'm not saying im right about these things, i'm just trying to show that while a seeming lack of caring may seem strange to an openly emotional person that openly emotional person will seem equally strange to someone like me... basically similar to what you said in the rest of your post


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

Tinks, men are wired up to be 'fixers' & 'do-ers'- this means when you have an issue, they think they need to 'fix' it. Therefore, they get ar$ey when you need emotional support because they can't 'do' anything to 'fix' it. They just are not comfortable with emotions.

That is why you need to be a bit less 'in your face' with folks here because there are a lot of women on this forum who would be more than happy to give you the support you need in this - hell, there ain't a woman alive who hasn't tried to diet at least once in her life, and we all know how tough it can be - but you are so defensive, and quite often rather rude, that you push us away and people finally give up and don't bother.

I know how it feels to be with an emotionally defunct, verbally paralysed bloke - when God was giving out basic bloke emotion stuff, Derek was off at a football match!!!  Finding PF was a lifeline for me and I have been lucky enough to make some fantastic friends here who give me all the emotional support I need whenever I need it. And they even let me just rant because I need to get it off my chest.

Try to make friends here Tinks and you'll find your struggles a bit easier to deal with.


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## IrishEyes (Jun 26, 2012)

porps said:


> You may well be right - i certainly never claimed that i was right about it, just that it was the thought that always pops into my head. I also tend to think that crying is something babies and women (mainly) do for attention (wether they know thats the reason they are doing it or not) and that adults should grow up instead of tear up. I'm not saying im right about these things, i'm just trying to show that while a seeming lack of caring may seem strange to an openly emotional person that openly emotional person will seem equally strange to someone like me... basically similar to what you said in the rest of your post


I think some women do use crying as a form of manipulation/attention seeking but many cry simply because they feel the need. I don't think that crying is reserved for children only but I do understand that some people cry and some do not. We all have our own ways of coping, I will cry at times but not in front of people (makes me feel vulnerable!) and not very often as I tend to channel any stress in different ways.

I think I've only ever seen two men cry in my life, one was genuine the other was purely for manipulation.. men can be crafty too!


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## catz4m8z (Aug 27, 2008)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> He seems to think that people should only complain if something can be done


well, thats just man logic and as someone else said its hardwired into their caveman DNA!! Men dont understand the cathartic benefits of a good ol' rant or moan which doesnt have a solution at the end.
And god forbid you should cry due to an unfixable problem coz they tend to get all annoyed and go hide in the shed or down the pub!

Personally I dont get the attitude. Why complain if a problem can be fixed...just fix the ***ger!! Makes more sense to save all your complaining for when you cant do anything else about it!


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## Spirited (May 20, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> That I get a little support and that I'm able to talk to my boyfriend
> 
> [...... trying to tell him how I was feeling (which isn't easy for me and now I remember why)]
> 
> ...


Sounds to me like hes feeling. I dunno. Helpless? Is thta the right word?
Maybe a bit insecure or unsure how to help?
I wouldnt go at him about "not being there" for you when his words sound more like hes on shaky ground than anything else. 
Kind of goin through that with the hubby right now over finances because work is really spotty for him. Any time bills are brought up I can see him get defensive. Not his fault hes where he is right now its just the economy we live in and hopefully when things get back on track he'll be his old confident self.


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

grumpy goby said:


> Ok I get to use my new life motto.
> 
> Be the f'cking boss.
> 
> ...


what she said ..



MoggyBaby said:


> there are a lot of women on this forum who would be more than happy to give you the support you need in this


I'm one of them tinks.. just be real


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

IrishEyes said:


> But it does, crying is a stress reliever.
> 
> OP, I think men are just wired differently to us women, I do think they tend to complain less than us and aren't really comfortable when we offload onto them as they don't really know what they are supposed to do with that! They tend to keep things to themselves.
> 
> Of course, only you know him so it's not for us to judge on whether or not he is supportive enough.


Trust me my OH is not for keeping complaining to himself :laugh: and he can complain with the best of em



MoggyBaby said:


> Tinks, men are wired up to be 'fixers' & 'do-ers'- this means when you have an issue, they think they need to 'fix' it. Therefore, they get ar$ey when you need emotional support because they can't 'do' anything to 'fix' it. They just are not comfortable with emotions.
> 
> That is why you need to be a bit less 'in your face' with folks here because there are a lot of women on this forum who would be more than happy to give you the support you need in this - hell, there ain't a woman alive who hasn't tried to diet at least once in her life, and we all know how tough it can be - but you are so defensive, and quite often rather rude, that you push us away and people finally give up and don't bother.
> 
> ...


I'm not comfortable with emotions, I can only seem to show anger

But if he needed me I would get over that and be there for him

And thank you



catz4m8z said:


> well, thats just man logic and as someone else said its hardwired into their caveman DNA!! Men dont understand the cathartic benefits of a good ol' rant or moan which doesnt have a solution at the end.
> And god forbid you should cry due to an unfixable problem coz they tend to get all annoyed and go hide in the shed or down the pub!
> 
> Personally I dont get the attitude. Why complain if a problem can be fixed...just fix the ***ger!! Makes more sense to save all your complaining for when you cant do anything else about it!


Exactly! If I could fix the problem I would lol



Spirited said:


> Sounds to me like hes feeling. I dunno. Helpless? Is thta the right word?
> Maybe a bit insecure or unsure how to help?
> I wouldnt go at him about "not being there" for you when his words sound more like hes on shaky ground than anything else.
> Kind of goin through that with the hubby right now over finances because work is really spotty for him. Any time bills are brought up I can see him get defensive. Not his fault hes where he is right now its just the economy we live in and hopefully when things get back on track he'll be his old confident self.


I hope things pick up for you both


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Lavenderb said:


> Tink, it seems to me you have wrapped yourself up in a bubble...that being 'your oh and forums'. You need to experience more of what life has to offer...and quit with the 'I can't do it cos I'm disabled' crap. You can find your own way of doing things if you try hard enough and I know that because I'm disabled too, but I will be bolloxed if I'm letting someone else do everything for me. Ffs where's your backbone girl.


Thank you, we are trying to go out more


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I'm not comfortable with emotions, I can only seem to show anger


You seem to be able to control it tho, and if people understood where you were coming from, you'd get support regardless of if you arent good at expressing yourself, or if you have moments of anger. Most of us here have our own quirks and uh.. issues.. but we still support each other... cos we are genuine even in our faults. ... its all about intention for me, not perfection lol


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Waterlily said:


> You seem to be able to control it tho, and if people understood where you were coming from, you'd get support regardless of if you arent good at expressing yourself, or if you have moments of anger. Most of us here have our own quirks and uh.. issues.. but we still support each other... cos we are genuine even in our faults. ... its all about intention for me, not perfection lol


If only you knew! I do sometimes have trouble controlling my anger


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## CRL (Jan 3, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> If only you knew! I do sometimes have trouble controlling my anger


i have the same problem, when i get stressed i get angry, and working with a phychotic resident on a residential unit who leaves little time for other residents and shouldnt be in our home, gets me extremely angry. and that is why ive booked a doctors appoitment, because i shouldnt be getting angry. its affecting my wellbeing, and in the end it could affect the residents. it isnt atm as i can control it, but what if i couldnt? 
if your anger is affecting you then go to your doctor and get it sorted. there are no excuses.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

CRL said:


> i have the same problem, when i get stressed i get angry, and working with a phychotic resident on a residential unit who leaves little time for other residents and shouldnt be in our home, gets me extremely angry. and that is why ive booked a doctors appoitment, because i shouldnt be getting angry. its affecting my wellbeing, and in the end it could affect the residents. it isnt atm as i can control it, but what if i couldnt?
> if your anger is affecting you then go to your doctor and get it sorted. there are no excuses.


What would the doctor do?


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## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

I'm the same. I can't always control my anger 

I'm here for support too Hun


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

See tink, no matter what the problem, theres always someone here that can relate. You arent alone.


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## CRL (Jan 3, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> What would the doctor do?


well thats what im going there to find out.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

CRL said:


> well thats what im going there to find out.


When you find out could you let me know please?

I don't think I'm ready to go yet but I will bare it in mind

Thank you Gemma and lily


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## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> What would the doctor do?


Tink I'm dosed up to me eyeballs on Prozac and its fine actually. I have never felt more chilled out in my life. Way hey :lol:


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## loubyfrog (Feb 29, 2012)

Tinks....Ive just read through this thread and now I'm wondering if there are 2 Tinktinktinkerbells on this forum as you seem like such a different person from a week or so ago ....so open,honest and not an ounce of defensiveness in sight.

I like this tinks very much (but not that you're fed up BTW)

Sorry that you're feeling a little deflated,we all have days when we feel that we have the whole weight of the world on our shoulders and no-one is around to help.

Cancel all your boring plans and do something this evening that you really really enjoy,hopefully you'll feel a little less stressed once you have done it.


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## Goldstar (Nov 12, 2011)

You have friends on here, people who do care about you, people that try to help you feel positive  and I am another that will support you if you need it. I know we haven't always agreed on various threads in the past but that's exactly where it is, in the past  

Some men (and women) are afraid to show emotion, afraid of seeming weak or vulnerable themselves maybe. Just think positive, sometimes just thinking positive can help you achieve things you may find challenging.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Lavenderb said:


> Tink I'm dosed up to me eyeballs on Prozac and its fine actually. I have never felt more chilled out in my life. Way hey :lol:


I appreciate meds are workable for some people but its not really a route I want to go down

Maybe I just need a different boyfriend



loubyfrog said:


> Tinks....Ive just read through this thread and now I'm wondering if there are 2 Tinktinktinkerbells on this forum as you seem like such a different person from a week or so ago ....so open,honest and not an ounce of defensiveness in sight.
> 
> I like this tinks very much (but not that you're fed up BTW)
> 
> ...


Lol thanks

I didn't have anything planned for tonight as it happens, it's a fast day and I can't really be bothered lol


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

Goldstar said:


> Some men (and women) are afraid to show emotion, afraid of seeming weak or vulnerable themselves maybe.


Its a shame cos its the opposite, people dont look down on someone that opens up (fark the ones that do) it makes them feel braver as well to also open up, and the chain carrys on, has a ripple affect, and changes the atmosphere.


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## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I appreciate meds are workable for some people but its not really a route I want to go down
> 
> Maybe I just need a different boyfriend
> 
> ...


It wasn't a route I was expecting either but its better than being miserable and losing the person I am.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

I don't feel ADs will help my problem, I feel they would just mask it


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## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I don't feel ADs will help my problem, I feel they would just mask it


Ad's don't fix you. They level you out so you learn to cope better. Your habit of staying up all night can be an indicator of depression...erratic sleeping patterns.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

My boyfriend must be depressed to then

Or I dunno maybe we just prefer it this way, as I said in another topic, TV is better at night and it makes the days go faster


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## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> My boyfriend must be depressed to then
> 
> Or I dunno maybe we just prefer it this way, as I said in another topic, TV is better at night and it makes the days go faster


If the Tv is that important to you have you got sky+ or a recording device. I really do think more daylight and routine would help you. Even though i work nights im still out walking the dog at 8am and with the weather being nice im out in the garden as much as possible. I do find that i dont need much sleep with a healthy diet and fresh air.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

button50 said:


> If the Tv is that important to you have you got sky+ or a recording device. I really do think more daylight and routine would help you. Even though i work nights im still out walking the dog at 8am and with the weather being nice im out in the garden as much as possible. I do find that i dont need much sleep with a healthy diet and fresh air.


We don't have sky + or a recording device

Really don't want to go to bed earlier


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## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> We don't have sky + or a recording device
> 
> Really don't want to go to bed earlier


I just thought it would help you, When i first started on nights i was moody and it did effect me. But a good routine and fresh air really sorted me out.


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## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

I hated having to work night shifts. Glad I gave it up.


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## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

This is partly why I suggested giving up the energy drinks, they can cause mood swings, amongst other things.


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## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

xgemma86x said:


> I hated having to work night shifts. Glad I gave it up.


I agree but the pay is far better than day shifts. Its also better for my pooch as hes only on his own for an hour a day. Somedays though i would love a normal 9-5. Friday nights is the worse.


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## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

Gemmaa said:


> This is partly why I suggested giving up the energy drinks, they can cause mood swings, amongst other things.


They really do my team have pretty much all given them up bar 1 who is a right moody so and so.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> We don't have sky + or a recording device
> 
> Really don't want to go to bed earlier


But wouldn't it be worth trying to get into a normal sleep routine, even if only on a temporary basis, just to see if it makes a difference to your overall wellbeing?


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## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

button50 said:


> I agree but the pay is far better than day shifts. Its also better for my pooch as hes only on his own for an hour a day. Somedays though i would love a normal 9-5. Friday nights is the worse.


Oh yes the pay is deffo alot better but doing night shifts was making me ill. I did them for just over 2 weeks and had to quit my job otherwise i'd have caused myself a serious accident driving home at 6am


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## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

xgemma86x said:


> Oh yes the pay is deffo alot better but doing night shifts was making me ill. I did them for just over 2 weeks and had to quit my job otherwise i'd have caused myself a serious accident driving home at 6am


I was like that at the begining. The latest i finish is 3am so not too bad.


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## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

button50 said:


> I was like that at the begining. The latest i finish is 3am so not too bad.


Now that I could possibly manage but I was doing 10pm-6am,then getting home at 6:30am and sleeping til about 8am then getting up. Not healthy in the slightest.


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## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

grumpy goby said:


> I know. but as it happened on three seperate threads they just said stop reposting as it will just continue.
> 
> _Posted from Petforums.co.uk App for Android_


Well in that case then,shouldn't the trolls causing the arguments be punished instead of Tinks??


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

button50 said:


> I just thought it would help you, When i first started on nights i was moody and it did effect me. But a good routine and fresh air really sorted me out.


It's not like I would be able to go out every day even if I did get up earlier

Thank you for the suggestion though



Gemmaa said:


> This is partly why I suggested giving up the energy drinks, they can cause mood swings, amongst other things.


Tbf I was moody before I started drinking them



simplysardonic said:


> But wouldn't it be worth trying to get into a normal sleep routine, even if only on a temporary basis, just to see if it makes a difference to your overall wellbeing?


I know it wouldn't, I felt the same when I used to go to bed earlier

In face I felt worse as I didn't get to spend as much time with the hamsters


----------



## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

xgemma86x said:


> Now that I could possibly manage but I was doing 10pm-6am,then getting home at 6:30am and sleeping til about 8am then getting up. Not healthy in the slightest.


No thats not good at all. most nights i can get away by 1. So most of the time 5 hours solid sleep does me fine.


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> It's not like I would be able to go out every day even if I did get up earlier
> 
> Thank you for the suggestion though
> 
> ...


What is stopping you going out for 10 minutes on a bad day? You are lucky you have the choice. I have to drag my kids about with me to carry stuff but I still get myself out even on the days when I feel like absolute shite because if I don't then my life will start to fall apart. You seem to have an excuse for everything. There are people much worse off than you who make an effort. Why the downer on everything?


----------



## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> It's not like I would be able to go out every day even if I did get up earlier


Im not being rude but why not?, you dont have to be doing anything just sit in the garden a nice park enjoy the fresh air.


----------



## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

button50 said:


> No thats not good at all. most nights i can get away by 1. So most of the time 5 hours solid sleep does me fine.


Now that's not too bad. I'd be sleepy on 5 hours sleep but i'd manage.


----------



## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

xgemma86x said:


> Now that's not too bad. I'd be sleepy on 5 hours sleep but i'd manage.


Good dog walk sorts me out lol


----------



## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Tink, I know you like your TV & I don't know how many hours you spend watching it each day, or how much time you spend online, but I'm willing to bet it's a good few hours. 

Years ago, before I kicked myself up the bum, before I had dogs to take out every day, I watched a lot of telly, at least 4 hours a day, & I can honestly say it made me feel crabby, unwell, tired & depressed. 

But even then I was out for at least an hour each day taking children to school (hubby had the car each day) & doing a bit of shopping.

How often do you go outside, just for a walk in a park or whatever? Every day? Once a week? Never?

Do you enjoy growing plants? Maybe have a garden, or a balcony or windowsill? Or have some house plants? You could try to maybe get a few seedlings growing, maybe grow some herbs that you can then add to your meals.

If you can do that you'll have a tremendous sense of achievement (& be doing better than me, I kill off my potted plants in record time), & you may find you have a real aptitude for it.


----------



## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

Tink..if you always do what you have always done you will always get the same results and feel the same way.

If you was happy doing what you do everyday then that would be great, but from what you post you clearly are not happy.

The only person that can change things is you and the only reason you should do it is for you. When you are really ready to make a change you will know.


----------



## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Sorry you're having a down day, and that your OH was less than supportive. Some men are just like that.  But then you can always come on here, and you can see by plenty of replies that people do care and are interested.

Hopefully, your weigh in will give you a postivie boost - and I and many others will be celebrating with you!

Take care.

I'm sure your OH cares a lot in his own way.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Lavenderb said:


> What is stopping you going out for 10 minutes on a bad day? You are lucky you have the choice. I have to drag my kids about with me to carry stuff but I still get myself out even on the days when I feel like absolute shite because if I don't then my life will start to fall apart. You seem to have an excuse for everything. There are people much worse off than you who make an effort. Why the downer on everything?


Not being funny but you seem hell bent on comparing me to yourself and every disabled person

We aren't all the same and just because one can do it doesn't mean others can

I went out yesterday and that's left me feeling ill, I had to sleep in my clothes because I didn't have the energy to change last night and I knew I wouldn't when I got up today, so there is no way I could get changed (I sit in shorts and a t-shirt in summer) put shoes on, go out, get in the life, go downstairs and walk to either the park or a seat, I'm hoping I will have enough energy to go out later in the week


----------



## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

So what year did you actually resign from the Arsenal Bobsleigh team Tink?:wink:

Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video Hosting


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Not being funny but you seem hell bent on comparing me to yourself and every disabled person
> 
> We aren't all the same and just because one can do it doesn't mean others can
> 
> I went out yesterday and that's left me feeling ill, I had to sleep in my clothes because I didn't have the energy to change last night and I knew I wouldn't when I got up today, so there is no way I could get changed (I sit in shorts and a t-shirt in summer) put shoes on, go out, get in the life, go downstairs and walk to either the park or a seat, I'm hoping I will have enough energy to go out later in the week


So find a way around it. Buy a mobility cart. I'm just not getting this. You sit up all night and then wonder why you havent got any energy during the day??


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> *Carers aren't always carers because they care*, I need support doing this diet otherwise I'm never going to be able to do it


Sorry - I only speak English.


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

simplysardonic said:


> Tink, I know you like your TV & I don't know how many hours you spend watching it each day, or how much time you spend online, but I'm willing to bet it's a good few hours.
> 
> Years ago, before I kicked myself up the bum, before I had dogs to take out every day, I watched a lot of telly, at least 4 hours a day, & I can honestly say it made me feel crabby, unwell, tired & depressed.
> 
> ...


We've done the plant thing, it just attracted insects

I go out once maybe twice a week, never for a walk as I can't walk far and well it's quite frankly boring and not worth the pain

We did when we have those few days of sunshine go sit on the field



Summersky said:


> Sorry you're having a down day, and that your OH was less than supportive. Some men are just like that.  But then you can always come on here, and you can see by plenty of replies that people do care and are interested.
> 
> Hopefully, your weigh in will give you a postivie boost - and I and many others will be celebrating with you!
> 
> ...


He complains if I talk to people on here yet I feel like I can't go to him

Men (some)



jon bda said:


> If only you could get out lots to go to the cinema...oh wait...


Hardly "lots" really



Zaros said:


> So what year did you actually resign from the Arsenal Bobsleigh team Tink?:wink:


Please don't post my pictures



Lavenderb said:


> So find a way around it. Buy a mobility cart. I'm just not getting this. You sit up all night and then wonder why you havent got any energy during the day??


You're right, lets not get into this


----------



## MrRustyRead (Mar 14, 2011)

:

Didnt realise Series 100 of the Tink Show was starting today...

:Yawn:


----------



## Cheryl89 (Jun 24, 2013)

I fancy some ice cream (trying to change subject lol) 

:smilewinkgrin:

X


----------



## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

jon bda said:


> If only you could get out lots to go to the cinema...oh wait...


Was there really any need??


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Cheryl89 said:


> I fancy some ice cream (trying to change subject lol)
> 
> :smilewinkgrin:
> 
> X


I don't like ice cream much (shocker) lol


----------



## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> *We've done the plant thing, it just attracted insects*
> 
> I go out once maybe twice a week, never for a walk as I can't walk far and well it's quite frankly boring and not worth the pain
> 
> ...


You could try companion planting, Google it. I find the whole subject of compatible plants really fascinating, & the companion planting I've done in the past has been surprisingly effective.


----------



## Cheryl89 (Jun 24, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> I don't like ice cream much (shocker) lol


Haha I prefer a nice Creme brûlée but know I should only eat sorbet  lol


----------



## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Please don't post my pictures


:huh:Well, they're available to all on Google anyway so I don't really see why you would have a problem with me posting one or two attached with an innocent caption?

Unless you're trying to hide something of course?

Whích is futile here on the net because everything you post Google owns. :yesnod:


----------



## Cheryl89 (Jun 24, 2013)

simplysardonic said:


> You could try companion planting, Google it. I find the whole subject of compatible plants really fascinating, & the companion planting I've done in the past has been surprisingly effective.


I totally love a bit of gardening (and it gives me space from OH) double winning  xx


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

simplysardonic said:


> You could try companion planting, Google it. I find the whole subject of compatible plants really fascinating, & the companion planting I've done in the past has been surprisingly effective.


Had never heard of that till now

Interesting, will keep it in mind

Thanks


----------



## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Cheryl89 said:


> I fancy some ice cream (trying to change subject lol)
> 
> :smilewinkgrin:
> 
> X


Please, don't mention food







After the mammoth picnic lunch I had with the kids & friends today, I don't think I will ever want to eat again!


----------



## Cheryl89 (Jun 24, 2013)

simplysardonic said:


> Please, don't mention food
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Bahahaha, I know it's terrible!!!! Although I was good for dinner  garlic chicken thigh & veg - yummy  lol x


----------



## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> It's not like I would be able to go out every day even if I did get up earlier
> 
> Thank you for the suggestion though
> 
> ...


Tinks, I 'liked' your post above because it is probably the nicest one of your replies I have ever read.  You didn't make snappy replies and nothing there was in your face. In fact, all of your responses here - even the bit negative on yourself ones - have been much more pleasant to read. I don't know if you have had to make extra effort in these replies but a huge well done girl for showing us, and YOURSELF, that you DO have a nice person in there under the aggro. Let her out more often hun, she seems really nice.



jon bda said:


> If only you could get out lots to go to the cinema...oh wait...





MrRustyRead said:


> :
> 
> Didnt realise Series 100 of the Tink Show was starting today...
> 
> :Yawn:


Guys, I appreciate you are not paid up members of the Tinks Fan Club but this has been a very positive thread for both Tinks and other members so please don't drag it down into the gutter again.

If you can't add to the good feeling going on, then please don't contribute. It will only make you look petty if you do.


----------



## MrRustyRead (Mar 14, 2011)

MoggyBaby said:


> Guys, I appreciate you are not paid up members of the Tinks Fan Club but this has been a very positive thread for both Tinks and other members so please don't drag it down into the gutter again.
> 
> If you can't add to the good feeling going on, then please don't contribute. It will only make you look petty if you do.


urmmmm we must be reading a different thread... i cant see much positive on here


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Cheryl89 said:


> Haha I prefer a nice Creme brûlée but know I should only eat sorbet  lol


My dad keeps telling me I loved them as a kid but I honestly can't remember lol



Zaros said:


> :huh:Well, they're available to all on Google anyway so I don't really see why you would have a problem with me posting one or two attached with an innocent caption?
> 
> Unless you're trying to hide something of course?
> 
> Whích is futile here on the net because everything you post Google owns. :yesnod:


If I wanted them on here I would post them myself


----------



## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

MoggyBaby said:


> Tinks, I 'liked' your post above because it is probably the nicest one of your replies I have ever read.  You didn't make snappy replies and nothing there was in your face. In fact, all of your responses here - even the bit negative on yourself ones - have been much more pleasant to read. I don't know if you have had to make extra effort in these replies but a huge well done girl for showing us, and YOURSELF, that you DO have a nice person in there under the aggro. Let her out more often hun, she seems really nice.
> 
> Guys, I appreciate you are not paid up members of the Tinks Fan Club but this has been a very positive thread for both Tinks and other members so please don't drag it down into the gutter again.
> 
> If you can't add to the good feeling going on, then please don't contribute. It will only make you look petty if you do.


Well said.

I've known Tinks for quite a number of years and she is a good person. She's helped me with alot (my pets,personal problems,etc). People just need to give her a chance instead of trolling every thread she posts or posts in.


----------



## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

MrRustyRead said:


> urmmmm we must be reading a different thread... i cant see much positive on here


Yes..... We must be!!!


----------



## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> My dad keeps telling me I loved them as a kid but I honestly can't remember lol


I used to go crazy for those creme caramels, sort of a creme brulee without the burnt bits. Nowadays I like the brulee better, mm crunchy topping :001_tt1:


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Maybe your OH feels the same as we often do here - disheartened that you never seem to even want to try anything that anyone suggests.

You are very negative about everyone's attempts to help you. People on here really DO care, and a lot of them have experienced something similar to what you are going through. They describe the things that helped them, but you always have a 'reason' why it won't work for you - you never try anything; or you (rarely) try something once, but don't give it a chance to have an effect. In the same way that you can't do one day of dieting and become thin, or one day of exercise and become fit, you can't have one instance of getting fresh air and expecting it to lift your mood.


Living with a depressed person is very difficult. Perhaps your OH is as much in need of support as you are.

Please don't think I'm trying to undermine you saying this, but as you are aware, only you can change your life. "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got"


----------



## MrRustyRead (Mar 14, 2011)

MoggyBaby said:


> Yes..... We must be!!!


Well i hope Tink takes this advise an implements it into her life to give back what she has lost.


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

MrRustyRead said:


> urmmmm we must be reading a different thread... i cant see much positive on here


So you can't see all the suggestions people including myself are giving to Tink in the hope that one of them at least may offer her a chance of a better life? 

Those are positives. And the fact that Tink is replying that she will at least try some is also 'positive'.


----------



## MrRustyRead (Mar 14, 2011)

Lavenderb said:


> So you can't see all the suggestions people including myself are giving to Tink in the hope that one of them at least may offer her a chance of a better life?
> 
> Those are positives. And the fact that Tink is replying that she will at least try some is also 'positive'.


only skim read it so didnt notice these


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

MrRustyRead said:


> only skim read it so didnt notice these


*sucks air through teeth* that bliddy Mavis will be after ya!!!


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

simplysardonic said:


> I used to go crazy for those creme caramels, sort of a creme brulee without the burnt bits. Nowadays I like the brulee better, mm crunchy topping :001_tt1:


I may have to try them, Christmas it is lol



lostbear said:


> Maybe your OH feels the same as we often do here - disheartened that you never seem to even want to try anything that anyone suggests.
> 
> You are very negative about everyone's attempts to help you. People on here really DO care, and a lot of them have experienced something similar to what you are going through. They describe the things that helped them, but you always have a 'reason' why it won't work for you - you never try anything; or you (rarely) try something once, but don't give it a chance to have an effect. In the same way that you can't do one day of dieting and become thin, or one day of exercise and become fit, you can't have one instance of getting fresh air and expecting it to lift your mood.
> 
> ...


I don't think I'm depressed though, having a couple of bad days doesn't = depression


----------



## loubyfrog (Feb 29, 2012)

Tinks....What do you enjoy doing? What hobbies have you got? What gives you a buzz (& please don't say energy drinks)

If you tell us what you enjoy doing then maybe we can help you find something similar,new and exciting that may give you a bit of a boost and enthusiasm.

I'm sure a lot of members on here have some great hobbies that they would happily share with you

We all need something worthwhile to give us motivation to get up on a morning (for me its my family and pets) so let us find that something for you.


----------



## Guest (Aug 28, 2013)

xgemma86x said:


> Well said.
> 
> I've known Tinks for quite a number of years and she is a good person. She's helped me with alot (my pets,personal problems,etc). People just need to give her a chance instead of trolling every thread she posts or posts in.


Will step away from this now then Gem and Mogs, but her views on disabled people and the fact she has been banned elsewhere for forcing the 'no sex. no babies' thing down peoples throats along with homophobic comments...who is the troll...


----------



## moggiemum (Mar 28, 2013)

hi tinks,just wanted to say not keen on football but that pic shows you have really pretty eyes


----------



## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

jon bda said:


> Will step away from this now then Gem and Mogs, but her views on disabled people and the fact she has been banned elsewhere for forcing the 'no sex. no babies' thing down peoples throats along with homophobic comments...who is the troll...


I admit I used to troll her threads on a different forum (about the no sex,no babies thing)years ago and even got banned for it  BUT then I took the time to get to know her properly and saw she isn't as bad as people make out she is.


----------



## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

What hobbies do you have other than your hamsters,Tv and the internet? maybe someone on here does have a shared interest that you may enjoy chatting together about.


----------



## Guest (Aug 28, 2013)

xgemma86x said:


> II took the time to get to know her properly and saw she isn't as bad as people make out she is.


But it seems everything is negative...this thread she's saying she can't go outside for even ten minutes to get a bit of fresh air and sunshine...on her other...how many films has she gone to the cinema too see in the last week or two?


----------



## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

jon bda said:


> But it seems everything is negative...this thread she's saying she can't go outside for even ten minutes to get a bit of fresh air and sunshine...on her other...how many films has she gone to the cinema too see in the last week or two?


I've seen her mention about 2 I think


----------



## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

button50 said:


> What hobbies do you have other than your hamsters,Tv and the internet? maybe someone on here does have a shared interest that you may enjoy chatting together about.


From what I remember when I asked a while back, tattoos was one  which means she's in good company as there's quite a lot of us inked folk


----------



## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

simplysardonic said:


> From what I remember when I asked a while back, tattoos was one  which means she's in good company as there's quite a lot of us inked folk


Im inked too.


----------



## moggiemum (Mar 28, 2013)

me too...........................


----------



## Firedog (Oct 19, 2011)

And me........


----------



## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

MrRustyRead said:


> urmmmm we must be reading a different thread... i cant see much positive on here





MrRustyRead said:


> only skim read it so didnt notice these


I haven't skim read it, I've read it all, and while I can see positive suggestions from other members, I can only see the same old excuses from Tinks.

Granted, not quite as blunt as some of the other threads, but negatives to the positive suggestions all the same. 'Tis a shame really as there's some good advice on here.

So I agree with you RR. Only difference is, you skim read, I read it all


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

loubyfrog said:


> Tinks....What do you enjoy doing? What hobbies have you got? What gives you a buzz (& please don't say energy drinks)
> 
> If you tell us what you enjoy doing then maybe we can help you find something similar,new and exciting that may give you a bit of a boost and enthusiasm.
> 
> ...


My pets help me get up too



moggiemum said:


> hi tinks,just wanted to say not keen on football but that pic shows you have really pretty eyes


Thank you



button50 said:


> What hobbies do you have other than your hamsters,Tv and the internet? maybe someone on here does have a shared interest that you may enjoy chatting together about.


Tattoos, reading, playing games on my iPad, watching films



jon bda said:


> But it seems everything is negative...this thread she's saying she can't go outside for even ten minutes to get a bit of fresh air and sunshine...on her other...how many films has she gone to the cinema too see in the last week or two?


One in the last week, 2 in two weeks

So yeah hardly "lots"



button50 said:


> Im inked too.


What you got?



moggiemum said:


> me too...........................


 I don't know why I'm shocked at this


----------



## MCWillow (Aug 26, 2011)

Me three...... 

What sort of books do you like Tinks, I read loads too, so might be able to suggest some stuff you haven't read, but might like to


----------



## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> What you got?


A very floral back, What books do you like?


----------



## Guest (Aug 28, 2013)

xgemma86x said:


> I've seen her mention about 2 I think


Thought it was more, or did i include what she was off to see?  Anyway...not bad going for a housebound person who couldn't go downstairs to collect a saucepan the other week...


----------



## Guest (Aug 28, 2013)

button50 said:


> A very floral back


You are Cheryl Cole and i claim my £5
:lol:


----------



## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

dougal22 said:


> I haven't skim read it, I've read it all, and while I can see positive suggestions from other members, I can only see the same old excuses from Tinks.
> 
> *Granted, not quite as blunt as some of the other threads*, but negatives to the positive suggestions all the same. 'Tis a shame really as there's some good advice on here.
> 
> So I agree with you RR. Only difference is, you skim read, I read it all


Little steps for the forum.... Big steps for Tinks.


----------



## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

jon bda said:


> Thought it was more, or did i include what she was off to see?  Anyway...not bad going for a housebound person who couldn't go downstairs to collect a *saucepan* the other week...


Don't mention pangate. It brings back memories of my suggestion to cook in dolls house saucepans to cut down on portion size. I'm thinking right now I should have taken a leaf out of my own book as I've scoffed a large bar of fruit and nut.

I feel very sick. And it's nearly bedtime. I need to find a bucket


----------



## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

MoggyBaby said:


> Little steps for the forum.... Big steps for Tinks.


Absolutely, that's why I mentioned it; it is noticeable. So, if Tinks can make changes like that, perhaps the negative responses might change too?

I live in hope :lol:


----------



## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

MCWillow said:


> Me three......
> 
> What sort of books do you like Tinks, I read loads too, so might be able to suggest some stuff you haven't read, but might like to


Should change this to the inked pet forum :laugh:

Usually chick lit

And I'm partial to a touch of point horror


----------



## loubyfrog (Feb 29, 2012)

MoggyBaby said:


> Little steps for the forum.... Big steps for Tinks.


That's exactly what i was going to say.

One small step for PF.....A giant leap for tinks.

I've got a tattoo too...got it 20 years ago when i was 18 but wish I'd picked something a bit more creative,It's crap!!!!

Would love to get another but it hurt so much last time (on my shoulder blade) that I daren't...I would love a little frog as thats my little nickname for my Daughter.

What Tats have you got Tinks and would you like any more?


----------



## Marycat (Jul 29, 2013)

Hiya Tinks.. sorry for being nosy but I was just wondering what is your disability hon?


----------



## MCWillow (Aug 26, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Should change this to the inked pet forum :laugh:
> 
> Usually chick lit
> 
> And I'm partial to a touch of point horror


Have you read any Jodi Piccoult, they're really good, not sure if they are classed at chicklit though 

And what is point horror - I have loads of horror


----------



## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

jon bda said:


> You are Cheryl Cole and i claim my £5
> :lol:


Not quite Jon...Sorry


----------



## 3dogs2cats (Aug 15, 2012)

MCWillow said:


> Have you read any Jodi Piccoult, they're really good, not sure if they are classed at chicklit though
> 
> And what is point horror - I have loads of horror


Oh I`m glad you asked that, I don`t know what it is either.


----------



## button50 (Apr 16, 2012)

3dogs2cats said:


> Oh I`m glad you asked that, I don`t know what it is either.


I read point horror years ago when i was at school i used to love them. Try some Patricia Cornwell


----------



## MCWillow (Aug 26, 2011)

Just googled point horror - seems to be written for young adults.

In which case I would say read some Darren Shan - I love Darren Shan (hes one of my guilty pleasures  )

Also the Watch books are brilliant

Amazon.co.uk: sergei lukyanenko


----------



## reddd123 (Mar 30, 2013)

I've just read this thread and think I need to see a therapist ..


----------



## MCWillow (Aug 26, 2011)

reddd123 said:


> I've just read this thread and think I need to see a therapist ..


There ya go, type in your postcode and take your pick 

BACP - British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy


----------



## reddd123 (Mar 30, 2013)

MCWillow said:


> There ya go, type in your postcode and take your pick
> 
> BACP - British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy


cheers  but seriously tink should choose one thing from this thread about what she could do that would help her and prove to everyone that read this thread that she can do something.

because I don't believe she wants to change enough


----------



## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

reddd123 said:


> cheers  but seriously tink should choose one thing from this thread about what she could do that would help her and prove to everyone that read this thread that she can do something.
> 
> because I don't believe she wants to change enough


The key is to make small changes otherwise you are setting yourself up to fail because you give everything up in one hit and its too much.

If Tink could start with one night a week of going to bed and sleeping all night that would be better.


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

MCWillow said:


> Have you read any Jodi Piccoult, they're really good, not sure if they are classed at chicklit though
> 
> And what is point horror - *I have loads of horror*


Yeah, it's called your photo album!!!! :lol: :lol:

Sorry Hilda, couldn't resist............


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## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

Marycat said:


> Hiya Tinks.. sorry for being nosy but I was just wondering what is your disability hon?


Hey fellow blonde bombshell, you're not allowed to ask that question. Don't be so blooming nosy 

.


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

reddd123 said:


> cheers  but seriously tink should choose one thing from this thread about what she could do that would help her and prove to everyone that read this thread that she can do something.
> 
> *because I don't believe she wants to change enough*


Put-downs like that won't help! 

Don't you know it is always easier to believe the one negative statement someone makes about you than the hundreds of positive ones made by many others.


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## reddd123 (Mar 30, 2013)

MoggyBaby said:


> Put-downs like that won't help!
> 
> Don't you know it is always easier to believe the one negative statement someone makes about you than the hundreds of positive ones made by many others.


shhh moggy...im trying to use reverse phychology to inspire her!


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## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

reddd123 said:


> shhh moggy...im trying to use reverse phychology to inspire her!


It doesn't work


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## 3dogs2cats (Aug 15, 2012)

MoggyBaby said:


> Put-downs like that won't help!
> 
> Don't you know it is always easier to believe the one negative statement someone makes about you than the hundreds of positive ones made by many others.


Oh god ain`t that the truth!! It would be lovely if all negative things washed over us like water off a ducks back but that one tiny negative remark, even when made by some-one you don`t even know never mind respect, is all to easy to believe.


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## reddd123 (Mar 30, 2013)

3dogs2cats said:


> Oh god ain`t that the truth!! It would be lovely if all negative things washed over us like water off a ducks back but that one tiny negative remark, even when made by some-one you don`t even know never mind respect, is all to easy to believe.


alright I didn't mean it in a negative way even though they were negative words..

sorry tinks!


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## Lavenderb (Jan 27, 2009)

MoggyBaby said:


> Yeah, it's called your photo album!!!! :lol: :lol:
> 
> Sorry Hilda, couldn't resist............


OMG Hilda, do you want me to duff the old bat up? :lol:


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## MCWillow (Aug 26, 2011)

MoggyBaby said:


> Put-downs like that won't help!
> 
> Don't you know it is always easier to believe the one negative statement someone makes about you than the hundreds of positive ones made by many others.


Says the woman who just said all my horror is in my photo albums :cryin:

Luckily I know I am feckin gawjus :lol: :lol: :lol:

Seriously, what Mavis said is true - if you already have low self esteem, and someone comes along and tells you are useless/fat/ugly - whatever - you believe it even more so.

When you don't believe in yourself, you find it hard to accept that other people _do_ believe in you.

Tinks_ does_ want to change, or she wouldnt have started her diet. Whether anyone else thinks she is doing it right or wrong, its still something she is doing, for herself, and doing it in a way she knows she can handle right now.


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## Guest (Aug 28, 2013)

MCWillow said:


> Tinks_ does_ want to change, or she wouldnt have started her diet. Whether anyone else thinks she is doing it right or wrong, its still something she is doing, for herself, and doing it in a way she knows she can handle right now.


How many years did she do the bodybuilding thing for?, sucking down supplements to build mass...rod for ones own back?


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Glad to see loads of positive support on here for you. 

If you were fit and well, what would be your perfect day??


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

loubyfrog said:


> That's exactly what i was going to say.
> 
> One small step for PF.....A giant leap for tinks.
> 
> ...


Garfield on my left shoulder, inner left forearm I have a blue dragon, angel bird, devil bird, inner right forearm I have NUFC and three of my micey gurls

Definitely getting more

Getting my hamster rocky and the rest of my hamsters paw prints on my right forearm, I want a skull, a dolphin, a turtle, a bat and bee 



MCWillow said:


> Have you read any Jodi Piccoult, they're really good, not sure if they are classed at chicklit though
> 
> And what is point horror - I have loads of horror


I've heard JP books are good, will have a look for them, thanks



button50 said:


> I read point horror years ago when i was at school i used to love them. Try some Patricia Cornwell


Thanks



MCWillow said:


> Just googled point horror - seems to be written for young adults.
> 
> In which case I would say read some Darren Shan - I love Darren Shan (hes one of my guilty pleasures  )
> 
> ...


Thank you



Lavenderb said:


> The key is to make small changes otherwise you are setting yourself up to fail because you give everything up in one hit and its too much.
> 
> If Tink could start with one night a week of going to bed and sleeping all night that would be better.


My sleeping will stay the same, it's how me and my OH prefer it

But I am making other changes, such as my diet, eating more home cooked meals now, already tried mushroom stroganoff, home made turkey meatballs/burgers and home made skinny chicken Kiev

Tomorrow for tea I will be having home made crunchy buttermilk chicken and I think I'll have it with roasted green pepper and spring onion



MCWillow said:


> Says the woman who just said all my horror is in my photo albums :cryin:
> 
> Luckily I know I am feckin gawjus :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> ...


Exactly willow, thank you


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Summersky said:


> Glad to see loads of positive support on here for you.
> 
> If you were fit and well, what would be your perfect day??


Up, ready, hit the weights, shower, change, cinema, meal, home, run, bed

Obviously there's things in between that such as playing with pets and watching TBBT


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## 3dogs2cats (Aug 15, 2012)

Does your user name have any special meaning to you Tink. Just thinking about tattoos, I haven`t got any but my daughter has a large Tinkerbelle on her back with fairy dust going all down her leg to her toes. Tinkerbelle is a name she uses ..... god you are not her are you  will give your dad an heart attack if he finds out you support NUFC


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

3dogs2cats said:


> Does your user name have any special meaning to you Tink. Just thinking about tattoos, I haven`t got any but my daughter has a large Tinkerbelle on her back with fairy dust going all down her leg to her toes. Tinkerbelle is a name she uses ..... god you are not her are you  will give your dad an heart attack if he finds out you support NUFC


I might be her mmmmwwwaaahhhh 

I had a hamster called Tinkerbell, when we had treats for her we used to say tinktinktinkerbell to wake her


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Up, ready, hit the weights, shower, change, cinema, meal, home, run, bed
> 
> Obviously there's things in between that such as playing with pets and watching TBBT


Much more energetic than my ideal day!

That would be - up at 8.30 (lay in), wake up to a sunny day, everything with the pets OK, family well, spend time in garden, out for day (no work), lunch with OH (rare occurence), walk along sea front with OH, home, family barbie, no family crises, phone elderly parents - all OK, tea, bath (soak and read a book), few glasses of wine and bed at 11.30. Boring eh?


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Summersky said:


> Much more energetic than my ideal day!
> 
> That would be - up at 8.30 (lay in), wake up to a sunny day, everything with the pets OK, family well, spend time in garden, out for day (no work), lunch with OH (rare occurence), walk along sea front with OH, home, family barbie, no family crises, phone elderly parents - all OK, tea, bath (soak and read a book), few glasses of wine and bed at 11.30.


Ooh forgot things

The weather has to be chilly, enough so I need to wear a fleece, my hams and mice are alive and healthy and at least one of the girls has hamster babies

My family and OH are healthy

And when we get home there's a rocky marathon on TV

Your day sounds lovely!


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Ooh forgot things
> 
> The weather has to be chilly, enough so I need to wear a fleece, my hams and mice are alive and healthy and at least one of the girls has hamster babies
> 
> ...


Thank you.

Aaah. I've never seen hamster babies.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Summersky said:


> Thank you.
> 
> Aaah. I've never seen hamster babies.


Hamster babies are the cutest thing ever........ Till they pee on you or bite you :laugh:


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## xgemma86x (Feb 13, 2009)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Hamster babies are the cutest thing ever........ Till they pee on you or bite you :laugh:


Since when did you get fur babies?


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

xgemma86x said:


> Since when did you get fur babies?


Haven't got them yet lol

Well I got ebony, penny and Amy but I think you've seen them

Berny doesn't seem to want to have babies


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

button50 said:


> I read point horror years ago when i was at school i used to love them. Try some Patricia Cornwell


Cornwell's great, I'm currently reading Port Mortuary.

Tink, do you go to boot sales or in charity shops? I love them as you never know what you'll find & they're cheap too, some books are just pennies :thumbup1:



MCWillow said:


> Just googled point horror - seems to be written for young adults.
> 
> In which case I would say read some Darren Shan - I love Darren Shan (hes one of my guilty pleasures  )
> 
> ...


My daughter loves Darren Shan, I've got a copy of Cirque Du Freak somewhere which I still need to read (problem with having so many books is I can often never find the one I'm looking for!).

As for the Watch books, I never realised they were books, I thought they were just films  I now have them on my Amazon wish list


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

simplysardonic said:


> Cornwell's great, I'm currently reading Port Mortuary.
> 
> Tink, do you go to boot sales or in charity shops? I love them as you never know what you'll find & they're cheap too, some books are just pennies :thumbup1:


Patricia Cornwall is good for about the first 6 Scarpetta books but the character becomes very annoying after that. Arrogant & paranoid. I ended up want to give her a good slap!!!

Kathy Reichs novels, on the other hand, are very similar to Cornwalls but her main character is much more likeable and easier to take to. I would truly recommend her. 

Minette Walters is also a good crime thriller author and I find her enjoyable and easy to read.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

MoggyBaby said:


> Patricia Cornwall is good for about the first 6 Scarpetta books but the character becomes very annoying after that. Arrogant & paranoid. I ended up want to give her a good slap!!!
> 
> Kathy Reichs novels, on the other hand, are very similar to Cornwalls but her main character is much more likeable and easier to take to. I would truly recommend her.
> 
> Minette Walters is also a good crime thriller author and I find her enjoyable and easy to read.


Have to say I agree with you, she has gone off the boil, but I always feel compelled to read them anyway.

I haven't tried Kathy Reichs yet, my mate Spunky keeps nagging me to but I haven't seen any of her books around, though I think he passed on a couple of them to me, I can't seem to find them in the labyrinth that is my upstairs cupboard


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Morning ladies Singing:

I feel sick :incazzato:


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## Cheryl89 (Jun 24, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Morning ladies Singing:
> 
> I feel sick :incazzato:


why??? Whats wrong? x


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

Cheryl89 said:


> why??? Whats wrong? x


Dunno, just feel a bit queasy


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Morning ladies Singing:
> 
> I feel sick :incazzato:


Why? Tummy sick? Was it something you ate?


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Dunno, just feel a bit queasy


Do you have any peppermint tea in? That is good for queasy tums.

If not, sip some hot boiled water. Yes, both of these taste bleugh, but they will make you feel better.


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

MoggyBaby said:


> Do you have any peppermint tea in? That is good for queasy tums.
> 
> If not, sip some hot boiled water. Yes, both of these taste bleugh, but they will make you feel better.


Not got any peppermint tea

Will try water, thanks


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Nibbling a ginger biscuit might also work good for nausea 

I feel sick when I have migraines, & I have a sick phobia, so every time I feel nauseous I get a bit panicky that I've got a bug


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

simplysardonic said:


> Nibbling a ginger biscuit might also work good for nausea
> 
> I feel sick when I have migraines, & I have a sick phobia, so every time I feel nauseous I get a bit panicky that I've got a bug


Would hate to have a sick phobia

Not that I enjoy being sick mind but sometimes it's a regular thing so yeah, would hate to have a phobia of it

I think it's more the lack of food, was a fast day yesterday, will have something after I weigh


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

MCWillow said:


> Have you read any Jodi Piccoult, they're really good, not sure if they are classed at chicklit though
> 
> And what is point horror - I have loads of horror


Jodie Picoult is brilliant.

So is Salley Vickers, Joanne Harris, Kate Atkinson and Hilary Mantel.

(I do like some male writers, too, but most of them are dead . . .)


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

MoggyBaby said:


> Patricia Cornwall is good for about the first 6 Scarpetta books but the character becomes very annoying after that. Arrogant & paranoid. I ended up want to give her a good slap!!!
> 
> Kathy Reichs novels, on the other hand, are very similar to Cornwalls but her main character is much more likeable and easier to take to. I would truly recommend her.
> 
> Minette Walters is also a good crime thriller author and I find her enjoyable and easy to read.


I'd second all of these comments - especially the Patricia Cornwell ones. SHe got very repetitive and filled pages with boring rubbish about Scarpetta's anorectic lesbian genius billionaire naive, Lucy - obviously her contract must say the books have to be a certain length, so she fills in with thousands of redundant (and worse - boring) words.


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## LolaPup2013 (Jul 5, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> That I get a little support and that I'm able to talk to my boyfriend
> 
> I'm on the 5:2 diet ad I struggled a bit today so I was just having a little complain to my boyfriend, trying to tell him how I was feeling (which isn't easy for me and now I remember why)
> 
> ...


Im having the same feelings about my bf. I feel like i make all the effort and its just pathetic now.

I WISH my bf would have the maturity to say to me about speaking to people on Forums and instead speaking to him....

Im pretty sure theres no hope for us, merely because he doesnt make any effort.

Id be greatful your bf even said tht in the first place, Men will never be perfect at reading us women and our messages - he at least said come to me if u need to talk and being a man and their pride he probably wants to fix things and because he cant fix this because its a diet youve chose and hes probably also sensitive to even commenting as ur on a diet implies you want to loose weight and thats dangerous territory for men :lol:


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

tinktinktinkerbell said:


> Ooh forgot things
> 
> The weather has to be chilly, enough so I need to wear a fleece, my hams and *mice are alive and healthy *and at least one of the girls has hamster babies
> 
> ...


You have mice? I used to have mice!!! I had over 200 mice !!!!! If I had the time and money and somewhere to keep them, I would have mice again - I LOVE mice!


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## DoodlesRule (Jul 7, 2011)

loubyfrog said:


> Tinks....Ive just read through this thread and now I'm wondering if there are 2 Tinktinktinkerbells on this forum as you seem like such a different person from a week or so ago ....so open,honest and not an ounce of defensiveness in sight.
> 
> I like this tinks very much (but not that you're fed up BTW)
> 
> ...


I too think you are letting a nicer person sneak out Tinks  Do you feel better in yourself? Diet does have a big impact on mood you know and as your diet gets better so do you - keep going :thumbup1:


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## tinktinktinkerbell (Nov 15, 2008)

lostbear said:


> You have mice? I used to have mice!!! I had over 200 mice !!!!! If I had the time and money and somewhere to keep them, I would have mice again - I LOVE mice!


Yeah I've got 4 very adorable little girls 

200 mice! Yikes!!

How many cages did you have to have?


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