# My big fat gypsy wedding



## Sandysmum (Sep 18, 2010)

I've just finished watching this and I'm going to ask the question that everybody watching it will want to know the answer to.
How on Earth can they afford weddings like that?????
I don't mean coz they're travellers, that's got nothing to do with it.But these are the kind of weddings only pop stars and famous footballers could afford.I can't even begin to imagine how much that castle cake cost and some of the dresses must have cost a fortune.


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## jamie1977 (Jan 17, 2011)

Cos the men have well paid jobs such as builders, tarmac layers, scrap metal dealers etc. Plus with cheap living conditions, it all adds up. Fathers save up from the moment their daughters are born as weddings etc are a massive deal.


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## poohdog (May 16, 2010)

Well paid?....You mean they're rip off merchants charging the earth to people that are daft enough to deal with them.


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## Sandysmum (Sep 18, 2010)

I know loads of non travellers who have worked hard and saved hard but couldn't afford anything like the scale of wedding in the programme. I really am not having a go at them,I understand that they work and save. I suppose what I'm wondering is, do the community help each other to pay for these lavish weddings. All the weddings in the series that I've seen so far have been so expensive looking that I can't see how one family, no matter how much they work and save, could possibly afford them.


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## lifeizsweet (Jun 7, 2009)

jetsmum said:


> I know loads of non travellers who have worked hard and saved hard but couldn't afford anything like the scale of wedding in the programme. I really am not having a go at them,I understand that they work and save. I suppose what I'm wondering is, do the community help each other to pay for these lavish weddings. All the weddings in the series that I've seen so far have been so expensive looking that I can't see how one family, no matter how much they work and save, could possibly afford them.


Thats because the hard workers you speak o probably pay tax and national insurance too.

Each to their own though, i'd rather put money into a house instead of a lavish do.


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## Guest (Feb 4, 2011)

jetsmum said:


> I've just finished watching this and I'm going to ask the question that everybody watching it will want to know the answer to.
> How on Earth can they afford weddings like that?????
> I don't mean coz they're travellers, that's got nothing to do with it.But these are the kind of weddings only pop stars and famous footballers could afford.I can't even begin to imagine how much that castle cake cost and some of the dresses must have cost a fortune.


the castle cake - or one like it is/was on display in harrods - I think it cost £3000 or maybe £3500 cannot rightly remember!


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

jetsmum said:


> I know loads of non travellers who have worked hard and saved hard but couldn't afford anything like the scale of wedding in the programme. I really am not having a go at them,I understand that they work and save. I suppose what I'm wondering is, do the community help each other to pay for these lavish weddings. All the weddings in the series that I've seen so far have been so expensive looking that I can't see how one family, no matter how much they work and save, could possibly afford them.


The whole tribe (and they are mostly all related to each other in some way)will contribute to a wedding, same as they will to a funeral. They usually have very lavish funerals as well, though they mostly believe that the body is just an empty shell. I have always wondered about this contradiction.

My grandmother was pure Romany and she died in a mental hospital. My mother was always extremely upset that she was buried in what was known then as a pauper's grave, as she is in the hospitals own plot. Little did she realise that her sister and her grandparents were also in public graves which have now been re-used. She would have been really upset about that.

I think it is a class thing with the gypsies that they have to have the biggest wedding, the biggest funeral................it is tradition.


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## Guest (Feb 4, 2011)

newfiesmum said:


> The whole tribe (and they are mostly all related to each other in some way)will contribute to a wedding, same as they will to a funeral. They usually have very lavish funerals as well, though they mostly believe that the body is just an empty shell. I have always wondered about this contradiction.
> 
> My grandmother was pure Romany and she died in a mental hospital. My mother was always extremely upset that she was buried in what was known then as a pauper's grave, as she is in the hospitals own plot. Little did she realise that her sister and her grandparents were also in public graves which have now been re-used. She would have been really upset about that.
> 
> I think it is a class thing with the gypsies that they have to have the biggest wedding, the biggest funeral................it is tradition.


Was just going to mention the funerals - they are massive = our whole town stands still when one of the older gypsy families lose someone. In olden times they used to burn the trailers - but that now longer happens.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

DoubleTrouble said:


> Was just going to mention the funerals - they are massive = our whole town stands still when one of the older gypsy families lose someone. In olden times they used to burn the trailers - but that now longer happens.


That is why there are so few genuined Romany Vardos left, because they used to burn them along with all the deceased possessions. Researching back through their lifestyles is really quite fascinating. My lot weren't rich enough to own Vardos, they all moved about with tents. My great grandfather was born on Wimbledon Common - and no, he wasn't a Womble, before anyone asks!

I found a dirct ancestor (my great-great grandfather's grandfather) who was executed in 1766 for horsetheft - old gypsy tradition!


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## Guest (Feb 4, 2011)

I was thinking the same thing, how can they afford these lavish weddings!!


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## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

I have never been to a Gypsy wedding but have been to many Greek, Turkish and Indian weddings.

They too are lavish and have 500 upward guests.....with banquets of food, free booze and entertainment.

The father of the bride saves from the minute their daughter is born.


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

Turkish weddings  I was at one that lasted 3 days. Bride was a friend and not Turkish. I would guess everyone in the family would pay for the gypsy weddings and surely that cake as the girl helped make it she would have gotten a discount at least.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

KathrynH said:


> I was thinking the same thing, how can they afford these lavish weddings!!


They do start saving as soon as a girl is born, just like in the US as soon as a baby is born they start saving their college fund.

Sometimes they would scrimp and scrape in the old days, never knowing where the next meal was coming from, but made sure they had insurance for their funerals. Mum said that her mother couldn't keep up the insurance.

What I found really interesting about my ancestors were that they travelled all their lives, setting up tents, and they mostly lived to a ripe old age, and when they got too old to travel, they would book themselves into a workhouse. No end of them died in workhouses, but I am fairly sure they were not forced into them through poverty, just a comfortable place to die in.

Also, in the 19th century, the church used to pay them to have their children baptised as they had their own ceremonies. What they used to do was go round all the different parishes having the same child baptised! Very enterprising, and teach the church not to interfere with other cultures.


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## Guest (Feb 4, 2011)

newfiesmum said:


> They do start saving as soon as a girl is born, just like in the US as soon as a baby is born they start saving their college fund.
> 
> Sometimes they would scrimp and scrape in the old days, never knowing where the next meal was coming from, but made sure they had insurance for their funerals. Mum said that her mother couldn't keep up the insurance.
> 
> ...


I have had bad experiences of Gypsy's and travellers but it has opened my eyes watching this series, the way the girls are not allowed to drink or have sex before marriage.

They do have a very strict upbringing and they do respect there parents etc which is more than many of kids of today. xx


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

newfiesmum said:


> They do start saving as soon as a girl is born, just like in the US as soon as a baby is born they start saving their college fund.
> 
> Sometimes they would scrimp and scrape in the old days, never knowing where the next meal was coming from, but made sure they had insurance for their funerals. Mum said that her mother couldn't keep up the insurance.
> 
> ...


Is it Roma gypsies where non-gypsies are seen as polluted or dirty or did I get that wrong?


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Nicky10 said:


> Is it Roma gypsies where non-gypsies are seen as polluted or dirty or did I get that wrong?


The trouble is that most people see them all the same nowadays. You get bands of travellers who do cause trouble, but they not true gypsies. It is like everything else, the word "gypsy" has evolved to mean anyone who travels around all the time, and it came from a time when nobody really knew where they came from (still don't really) so they would be put down on census records and stuff as Egyptian. It is far more likely that they came from Romania originally, but I haven't been able to trace back before the early 18th century.

No, the true Romanies do not like the modern day travellers much, because they give them a bad name. Most Romanies actually do live in houses now, though you still get a few travelling ones. The travellers today are usually the ones who run fairgrounds and they are not Romany, though most of them live a fairly decent life.

My great grandfather was the first of his family to actually settle in a house, and he married a non-Romany. So in actual fact, my grandmother was only half Romany, but mother would not have that!

The sad thing I have found is that I have had emails from relatives who did not know they were descended from Romanies. I had a message from my great aunt's great grandaughter (that would be my grandmother's sister) who innocently asked: do you know if they were gypsies? She was only going by the names and the occupations, and had never been told. So some of the descendants nowadays, who I am related to, have kept it a dark secret. My mother, on the other hand, would tell anyone who would listen! She was very proud of her Romany heritage.

I can always tell a real Romany, though I couldn't possibly tell you why.


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

It is an interesting culture. Better than being descended from a very religious american loan shark anyway


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## nutmeg (Sep 13, 2009)

My grandfather was a romany gypsy, my nan was not.

I wasnt all that close to them due to family issues but if they ever argued my grandad would say to my nan, if it wasn't for me you would be living in a caravan. I have no idea what the meaning of that remark was but it always would stop my nan in her tracks.


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

Even if they can afford it what a waste of money lol, would rather buy a marital home and start a life secure then have a flash cake that ya poop out anyway and a dress ya wear once


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

But they had a caravan as well


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## lil muppet (Apr 4, 2008)

the queen of the gypsys died recently and she lived near here... the whole area was a no go area because everywhere was busy!! so many people arrived!!

what got me was the little girl who cried at her sisters wedding because she knew that she would spend the rest of her life cleaning!

also when the girl who worked in the cake shop said that you are only remembered or known for your wedding day! how horrible must that be that you live so long but are only known for one day! :frown:


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Nicky10 said:


> It is an interesting culture. Better than being descended from a very religious american loan shark anyway


Is that you? Do tell!



nutmeg said:


> My grandfather was a romany gypsy, my nan was not.
> 
> I wasnt all that close to them due to family issues but if they ever argued my grandad would say to my nan, if it wasn't for me you would be living in a caravan. I have no idea what the meaning of that remark was but it always would stop my nan in her tracks.


What was their name? My family are the Lee family, and there are vast numbers of them! My great grandfather had about 15 brothers and sisters and I keep hearing from their descendants. It is all very exciting.



Waterlily said:


> Even if they can afford it what a waste of money lol, would rather buy a marital home and start a life secure then have a flash cake that ya poop out anyway and a dress ya wear once


That may be what you want, and I certainly agree, but an awful lot of Romanies cannot settle in one place; it seems to be in the blood. My mother had no sooner unpacked the tea chests and she would be looking at estate agents again. Even my daughter is either moving herself or her horses all the time.


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

My delightful great-grandmother  came over here when she married my great-grandfather who was harbour master in Belfast when the Titanic left.


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## archiebaby (Feb 25, 2008)

i think tbh they are showing the irish travellers and classing them as any travellers my best friend is a traveller girl ( heart of gold and would do anything for you well me lol) she told me the traveller support people are trying to get them programme stopped as it has set them back 20 years with peoples views of them now i have never seen little traveller girls dressed up like those in the programme and i have been to a fair few travellers weddings/do's


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## jenniferx (Jan 23, 2009)

archiebaby said:


> i think tbh they are showing the irish travellers and classing them as any travellers my best friend is a traveller girl ( heart of gold and would do anything for you well me lol) she told me the traveller support people are trying to get them programme stopped as it has set them back 20 years with peoples views of them now i have never seen little traveller girls dressed up like those in the programme and i have been to a fair few travellers weddings/do's


You know I had wondered that actually- how representative it was of the wider travelling community.... or whether they were just exploiting all the worst stereotypes from the fringes of the community to turn it in to a freak show.


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## archiebaby (Feb 25, 2008)

jenniferx said:


> You know I had wondered that actually- how representative it was of the wider travelling community.... or whether they were just exploiting all the worst stereotypes from the fringes of the community to turn it in to a freak show.


it is not representative of any traveller family i know the 'grabbing' thing by the boys is ridiculous and never done in the normal travelling community the girls helping with the cleaning is always done but i have never seen a traveller mum leave the whole lot to the daughter,the mum does it as well but yes of course the daughter has to help in the home and with the little brothers and sisters and the boys are not expected to do anything within the home every traveller i know ( which is quite a lot) their homes are ***** and span,honestly, you could eat your dinner off the floor


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## Guest (Feb 4, 2011)

We do quite a bit of work for gypsys, although it is a trusted few, and they are damn good people...as with anybody, there are always a***holes that ruin it. Shelley used to work behind the bar in one of my sisters pubs a few years ago, and there was a gypsy camp a mile up the road so it was their local, and they wouldn't stand for any crap slung at the barmaids...the one guy i felt sorry for was a chav who sat at the bar one night ranting on about how he hated 'pikeys'. Guy stood next to him waiting for a pint (at the risk of getting all 'Snatch' on you) was known as a bareknuckle fighter...chav's next visit to the loo involved a 'friendly word' in his ear i do believe...

I love the fact they keep on asking the woman who makes the dresses how much she charges and she won't answer, they 'always' pay cash...shes probably telling the taxman shes charging 3k a dress and getting 10k


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

I've never understood the prejudice myself. I have had several pupils from traveller camps over the years and the first one I had people were saying Ooh you shouldn't be going up there. You be careful. What utter rubbish. They always paid cash, didn't mess you about cancelling at the last minute or not showing up.

I wandered into one once by mistake as two drives were very close together and I kept going down but was too narrow to turn round. So I ask this lady in her front graden of her mobile if there was somewhere to turn round and she opened the gate for me to turn round in her front bit.

Just because they do not choose to live like everybody else, does not make any better or worse. I don't think the gypsy wedding programme is indicative of most travellers, though. They have their values, as soon, but I don't think they all go in for that sort of thing.


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## nutmeg (Sep 13, 2009)

Newfiesmum, my family were the stone family.

My mum got chatting to a traveller girl when the first programme aired a few years ago, and when my mum asked her if she had watched the programme the girl shook her head and said the big weddings that were being shown were unheard of in her community, and that they focused on funerals which were huge.

I have seen two traveller funerals and both were very different, one was gigantic, and must have had 30 lorrys filled with flowers, the other was a horse and sort of metal that was low to the ground (i dont know what this is called) and the coffin sat on the metal, and about 20 people walked behind the coffin.

I suppose all traveller communitys are very different.


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

we dont have gypsys here so its all new for me to read all this tbh, I have only heard bad stuff about them, so this is eyeopening to see it from both sides.


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## traveller123 (Feb 5, 2011)

archiebaby said:


> it is not representative of any traveller family i know the 'grabbing' thing by the boys is ridiculous and never done in the normal travelling community the girls helping with the cleaning is always done but i have never seen a traveller mum leave the whole lot to the daughter,the mum does it as well but yes of course the daughter has to help in the home and with the little brothers and sisters and the boys are not expected to do anything within the home every traveller i know ( which is quite a lot) their homes are ***** and span,honestly, you could eat your dinner off the floor


you are right grabing i dont belive in it and most gypsy and travellers dont chanell should be ashamed of there selves for showing this rubbish most travellers i know (the ones wich a bit of sence) are horified by what they have seen this is a link to what some of us think in fact most of us Our Cheap Dirty Traveller Embarrassment


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Waterlily said:


> we dont have gypsys here so its all new for me to read all this tbh, I have only heard bad stuff about them, so this is eyeopening to see it from both sides.


Unfortunately, that is happens. We have lots permanent traveller sites near here, all their mobile homes are immaculate, a darned sight cleaner than my house! They are all hardworking, decent people, and yes, they do appear to be well off. But how they do that and get away with it is not my business. I do know that they don't have debts up to their eyeballs, like some of the people living in posh houses.

I once went to pick up a new pupil on the fairground travellers site. The mobile homes and cars there are tremendous, and as always everybody who was outside stopped to see who I was an where I was going. I asked someone for the person I was looking for and he sort of turned up his nose a bit and told me right down the end. It was two very dirty looking caravans, they obviously were not true gypsies though they did have a little fairground roundabout outside. I got the feeling they were looked down on by the other members of the community and they were the only ones, in all the years I have been teaching, who gave me a cheque. It bounced.

So you see, there is snobbery among everybody and it seems in this case they were not far wrong.

There is a village on the other side of Cambridge where lots of travellers have lived quite peacefully with the local population for many years. The only trouble came when a group of Irish travellers passed through. Now they all have a bad name.

One young man who I taught to drive (real Romany) helped me to move house and get rid of the rubbish. People were saying: Oh, don't leave him alone, will you? I asked him to move out an sideboard then went out. It was still there when I got back and he was outside. He would not come in the house whilst I was not there.

Like everyone, there is good and bad in all communities. I have never met any of these people that have these elaborate weddings, but I do know about the funerals and how shaming it is for them not to provide a lavish funeral.


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

traveller123 said:


> you are right grabing i dont belive in it and most gypsy and travellers dont chanell should be ashamed of there selves for showing this rubbish most travellers i know (the ones wich a bit of sence) are horified by what they have seen this is a link to what some of us think in fact most of us Our Cheap Dirty Traveller Embarrassment


wow thats hilarious you join as traveller and your first post is on a gypsy thread  wanting peeps to click a link that is more then likely a virus :confused1: lol welcome to pf :lol:


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

traveller123 said:


> you are right grabing i dont belive in it and most gypsy and travellers dont chanell should be ashamed of there selves for showing this rubbish most travellers i know (the ones wich a bit of sence) are horified by what they have seen this is a link to what some of us think in fact most of us Our Cheap Dirty Traveller Embarrassment


Thank you for that link. I have only ever seen one episode of the programme and although interesting and fascinating in the form of "how the hell does she get through a door in that dress" it bore no resemblance whatsoever to any travellers or Romanies that I know of.

I also like the way the author states Romanies and Travellers, clearly dividing the two groups. That is what most people do not realise. The young man I was speaking of has been battling for months for custody of his twins, who were taken into care when their mother was found to be unfit. Social services did not even bother to contact him and he only found out through friends. He can provide a good home and huge family support, but social services would rather they went into foster care. They even called him a pikey in one interview, which he was not best pleased about.

Just one point. Are you sure Romanies came from India? I know it has been thought for a long time, but has it ever been proved? I would be interested to know for certain.


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## traveller123 (Feb 5, 2011)

Waterlily said:


> wow thats hilarious you join as traveller and your first post is on a gypsy thread  wanting peeps to click a link that is more then likely a virus :confused1: lol welcome to pf :lol:


sorry it is not a virus i am a traveller if you search this you will find the same thing Our Cheap Dirty Traveller Embarrassment


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

newfiesmum said:


> Thank you for that link. I have only ever seen one episode of the programme and although interesting and fascinating in the form of "how the hell does she get through a door in that dress" it bore no resemblance whatsoever to any travellers or Romanies that I know of.
> 
> I also like the way the author states Romanies and Travellers, clearly dividing the two groups. That is what most people do not realise. The young man I was speaking of has been battling for months for custody of his twins, who were taken into care when their mother was found to be unfit. Social services did not even bother to contact him and he only found out through friends. He can provide a good home and huge family support, but social services would rather they went into foster care. They even called him a pikey in one interview, which he was not best pleased about.
> 
> Just one point. Are you sure Romanies came from India? I know it has been thought for a long time, but has it ever been proved? I would be interested to know for certain.


you clicked a link from someone who just joined and made one post :confused1::confused1: your more trusting then me lol, if it was a legit member then umm foot will be removed from my mouth once again and apologies uttered :arf:


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

traveller123 said:


> sorry it is not a virus i am a traveller if you search this you will find the same thing Our Cheap Dirty Traveller Embarrassment


  sorry


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Waterlily said:


> you clicked a link from someone who just joined and made one post :confused1::confused1: your more trusting then me lol, if it was a legit member then umm foot will be removed from my mouth once again and apologies uttered :arf:


I have a fairly good virus detector. I am not afraid to click on any link, especially if it will enlighten people to the truth of the matter.

There is no virus, Waterlily - you are quite safe to read it.


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## traveller123 (Feb 5, 2011)

Waterlily said:


> sorry


its ok its good to be suspicios


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

traveller123 said:


> its ok its good to be suspicios


yep specially online


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## traveller123 (Feb 5, 2011)

newfiesmum said:


> Thank you for that link. I have only ever seen one episode of the programme and although interesting and fascinating in the form of "how the hell does she get through a door in that dress" it bore no resemblance whatsoever to any travellers or Romanies that I know of.
> 
> I also like the way the author states Romanies and Travellers, clearly dividing the two groups. That is what most people do not realise. The young man I was speaking of has been battling for months for custody of his twins, who were taken into care when their mother was found to be unfit. Social services did not even bother to contact him and he only found out through friends. He can provide a good home and huge family support, but social services would rather they went into foster care. They even called him a pikey in one interview, which he was not best pleased about.
> 
> Just one point. Are you sure Romanies came from India? I know it has been thought for a long time, but has it ever been proved? I would be interested to know for certain.


yes gypsys did origanly come from india


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## petforum (Oct 30, 2007)

Ive watched the programmes, and I wouldnt really say the weddings are that lavish or expensive. Yes the dresses and cakes are nice and will be quite expensive, but many travellers are self employed and work hard, they dont claim benefits. The weddings on the programme are usually held in average working mens clubs, not castles or mansions.


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## Guest (Feb 5, 2011)

petforum said:


> Ive watched the programmes, and I wouldnt really say the weddings are that lavish or expensive. Yes the dresses and cakes are nice and will be quite expensive, but many travellers are self employed and work hard, they dont claim benefits. The weddings on the programme are usually held in average working mens clubs, not castles or mansions.


TV production companies only pick out what they think the audience will want to watch. By filming weddings taking place at extravagant venues they're getting their message across, however arguably a slightly biased message since they're only filming a tiny percentage of the gypsy population.


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## Guest (Feb 5, 2011)

Chillinator said:


> TV production companies only pick out what they think the audience will want to watch. By filming weddings taking place at extravagant venues they're getting their message across, however arguably a slightly biased message since they're only filming a tiny percentage of the gypsy population.


At the same time only showing weddings and communions where people buy extravagant dresses....which we have already heard in this thread not to be the norm. While the dresses in the series have been huge, the weddings themselves are held in normal churches and receptions in working mens clubs and social clubs - which arent expensive at all.

A wedding in a church is cheaper than alot of venues...

So some may be more lavish, the majority probably less so.

I heard a representative of the travelling communities on the radio last week, really not happy with the footage they have been showing.

I really cant say I know much about them...we dont get many "true" Romany travellers around; altho have heard that they are generally polite. We do get a fair few non traditional travellers, and sadly my personal experiances havent been great


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## Taylorbaby (Jan 10, 2009)

they are all near me!!! 

I actually felt really sorry for the girls, leave school at 13 to clean get married at 17/18...to clean and have kids  oh and to clean!

only 1 girl on there said that she wanted a job and got one! 

it was like the interviewer was asking them questions, but they had never thought that it could be any different, its like they just accept it?

did you see how quick they left that accident going up the pavement? I said to the partner 'oh they have no tax' he said 'no they are all 16' !!


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## traveller123 (Feb 5, 2011)

we may look to be very wealthy new cars and caravans but we dont normaly have mortgages on houses and loan mony from banks ,credit cards so we are not paying back large amounts of interest so with a lot of travellers what you see is what they have worked for if you look at buying a house for 100k how much would you have given for it buy the time you pay for it travellers will not do this most of us not all


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## archiebaby (Feb 25, 2008)

traveller123 said:


> you are right grabing i dont belive in it and most gypsy and travellers dont chanell should be ashamed of there selves for showing this rubbish most travellers i know (the ones wich a bit of sence) are horified by what they have seen this is a link to what some of us think in fact most of us Our Cheap Dirty Traveller Embarrassment


thank you for that link my good friend is quite upset about the programme even down to her son being goaded at college ( yes he is at collage) because he has a young daughter, other lads were tormenting him about the way his little girl was apparently going to be dressed when she reached the age of 5/6 this program is a set back for all the decent travellers as sadly people do believe what they see on tv


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

I dont know what to think of the show...I felt so sorry for the girl who was crying because she was loosing her sister to marriage and would have to look after the kids all alone. Made me wonder what her mother does apart from have kids!
If my daughter was dressing like a complete SL** at 5 i would slap her legs! 

Made me laugh when they showed the wedding and the groom didnt want to be seen incase it affected his scrap metal business..... more like might be chased for tax and NI :lol:

We live near loads of 'gypsy's' they dont live in trailers thay have HUGE houses and loads of land for the badly looked after horses You cant really call them travellers they are just a bunch of dirty scrubbers round here, bet they dont even know what a realy gypsy is.


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## Flossiemac (Sep 4, 2010)

What I can't understand is why many are called travellers when they live in static caravans on permanent sites or houses, surely that's not a traveller :confused1:


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## lifeizsweet (Jun 7, 2009)

That Paddy is always on the telly!!


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2011)

I am watching it now and am disgusted as just watched those blokes fighting and his little boy watching!! 

And then said to his dad "oi dad at least you won hey dad" 

Breaks my heart to see things like that and that child proud of his dad fighting like that. My personal opinion is that is a wrong upbringing.


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## lifeizsweet (Jun 7, 2009)

KathrynH said:


> I am watching it now and am disgusted as just watched those blokes fighting and his little boy watching!!
> 
> And then said to his dad "oi dad at least you won hey dad"
> 
> Breaks my heart to see things like that and that child proud of his dad fighting like that. My personal opinion is that is a wrong upbringing.


It's just different to our up bringing. A kid would be proud to see their dad succeed be it footie, boxing, rugby etc.

Fighting is part of their life in the way the shooting foxes is part of my OH's but alot of people will disagree with that too


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2011)

lifeizsweet said:


> It's just different to our up bringing. A kid would be proud to see their dad succeed be it footie, boxing, rugby etc.
> 
> Fighting is part of their life in the way the shooting foxes is part of my OH's but alot of people will disagree with that too


Yes i totally understand what you are saying hun, it just breaks my heart to see how the children are brought up. xx


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## suzy93074 (Sep 3, 2008)

KathrynH said:


> Yes i totally understand what you are saying hun, it just breaks my heart to see how the children are brought up. xx


Yeah I think its sad how the kids see so much - they are like mini adults before there time imo  I know its their way of life though.

I think they get married far too young as well.


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

I remember someone telling me their grandmother still used to play hopscotch and swinging on a rope around a lamppost when she got married far too young I think there may have been a pregnancy involved. That was only 5 generations ago. For a long time age of marriage was for girls at least as soon as they could have children. Some people argue we're doing a bad thing for children protecting them so much not letting them have jobs etc.


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## suzy93074 (Sep 3, 2008)

Nicky10 said:


> I remember someone telling me their grandmother still used to play hopscotch and swinging on a rope around a lamppost when she got married far too young I think there may have been a pregnancy involved. That was only 5 generations ago. For a long time age of marriage was for girls at least as soon as they could have children. Some people argue we're doing a bad thing for children protecting them so much not letting them have jobs etc.


I hope our attitudes towards marriage and pregnancy has changed over the last 50 years women nowadays dont have to get married to have a life imo - I dont think we should protect our kids from getting jobs - imo thats part of giving your child life skills and nuturing them to prosper for their future - but I would protect any child from seeing two grown men kick the shite out of each other kicking and punching - there is just no need and just breeds violence imo - I just think young kids should be happy and carefree and have no worries and not see that side of life so young


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## Guest (Feb 10, 2011)

A NEW television series has been hailed for portraying gypsies as being just as shallow, materialistic and celebrity-obsessed as mainstream society.



This is a traditional Romany song about home cinema systemsTravellers' rights campaigners and people who live in houses have praised Channel 4's My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding for showing that traveller culture, rather than being alien or threatening, is mostly about showing off and having more stuff than your neighbours.

Company director and former rabid gypsy-hater, Tom Logan, said: "I'd always loathed and feared travelling people as noisy, sorcerous vagabonds who'd steal your breath if they thought it could be 'weighed in' at the local scrapyard for its residual lead content.

"But I see now that they share my belief in conspicuous consumption and spending large amounts of money on flashy, pointless geegaws as a way of being impressive.

"Although I prefer to waste my cash on luxury consumer electronics and golf clubs rather than a robot wedding dress the size of a village."

Office worker and mother-of-two Nikki Hollis said: "I thought travellers lived in unsanitary wooden cars, did voodoo and let their kids fight each other with dead badgers.

"But I've now learned that little gypsy girls dress in sexually provocative clothing and get most of their aspirations from MTV, just like my own children." 

Logan added: "I suppose I'll have to find someone else to victimise now and it will most likely be homos."


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## Guest (Feb 10, 2011)

I don't live too far from the Appleby area, which hosts the annual horse fair, attracting traveller families from all over the community.

Last year during the week that the fair was one I went fly fishing on the River Eden with a few other guys I know from PAA (Penrith Anglers Association). We bumped into a few fellas from various traveller families along the river. 

After a quick chat with them they turned out to be very nice people, they were certainly a contrast to the characters these biased documentaries (the producers know what they're looking for before they even start filming, it's all pre-meditated) portray them to be.

The methods of upbringing (such as illegally taking their kids out of compulsory education) their offspring are rather disturbing however.


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

Theres good and bad in all walks of life, just because they travel doesnt mean they are bad people or are gonna rob you blind if you turn your back (although some would lol) 

I watched the last one and was really shocked that the manager of the hotel didnt know that him employee was a gypsy, even telling her not to let the gypsy's in! I was even more shocked that the manager was asian! I bed he would have a fit if someone discriminated against him because of his culture but hes quick enough discriminating against others


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## bigdaddy (Feb 5, 2011)

traveller123 said:


> we may look to be very wealthy new cars and caravans but we dont normaly have mortgages on houses and loan mony from banks ,credit cards so we are not paying back large amounts of interest so with a lot of travellers what you see is what they have worked for if you look at buying a house for 100k how much would you have given for it buy the time you pay for it travellers will not do this most of us not all


that is a very good point and i bet you are better off for doing things that way i mean not lending 5000 to buy a car then paying back 9000 tell you what theres probley a few of us that could do with doing things your way and would be better off


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## traveller123 (Feb 5, 2011)

bigdaddy said:


> that is a very good point and i bet you are better off for doing things that way i mean not lending 5000 to buy a car then paying back 9000 tell you what theres probley a few of us that could do with doing things your way and would be better off


i can under stand why people do this i know you have to do it to buy a house but cars and credit cards


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2011)

As mentioned already, its peoples 'ideas' about gypsys that are the basis for this show i think. At work we fix a lot of vehicles for gypsys...no probs at all, my sister had a pub in a village a few miles down the road...was the only one that hadn't barred all gypsys, and there was a camp about a mile up the road from there. Hell, one customer sitting there pissed made a point of ranting on about how he hated 'pikeys'...not realising he was sat next to 'one of them', he then swore at Shelley to get him another beer before staggering off to the toilet, and not on his own. It seemed 'words' took place, he came and apologised to Shelley and went away...some are diamonds...you get arseholes no matter what your breeding...


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## northnsouth (Nov 17, 2009)

Newfiesmum and traveller 123 thanks for your insight.
:thumbup:


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

jetsmum said:


> I know loads of non travellers who have worked hard and saved hard but couldn't afford anything like the scale of wedding in the programme.


Well, thats the point, non-travellers so don't have the average expenditure of so called "normal" people (use the term loosely).

Before I was paying a mortgage etc I was saving on average about £700 per month. In just 3 years, thats £25 grand I had for a deposit on a house, give or take as some months I had other things to buy.

If a father does that for 18 years, say, since when his daughter is born its roughtly £151,200!! That's a hell of a lot of money!!!

One thing I've learnt planning my own wedding is that things can look as expensive as you want, but don't have to actually cost a fortune! A lot of the girls also rent dresses, not buy them.


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## toria (Aug 9, 2010)

I actually got a little upset last night watching this...its very discriminatory to call a gypsy a gypo or tinker!
That wouldnt be tolerated by other cultures.
There is good & bad in all people,i certainly wouldnt taint one culture because of a handful of people in that particular culture.


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

See if a hotel or bar had a sign outside no filthy blacks/gays/asians allowed they would be sued or get in trouble for discrimination. Yet they're allowed to do it to travellers . Was nice to see the protest went so peacefully was a bit worried when they had the horses there as well could have gone wrong


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

poohdog said:


> Well paid?....You mean they're rip off merchants charging the earth to people that are daft enough to deal with them.


_That's not always true. Not all Gypo's have a poor reputation. I bought a 1971 Sunbeam Rapier complete with Holbay production racing engine from travellers and it was almost in showroom condition. All the paperwork was in order including a long record of service/repair bills.

They were selling the car because they needed a bigger vehicle for towing and their rapidly expanding family._


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

jon bda said:


> As mentioned already, its peoples 'ideas' about gypsys that are the basis for this show i think. At work we fix a lot of vehicles for gypsys...no probs at all, my sister had a pub in a village a few miles down the road...was the only one that hadn't barred all gypsys, and there was a camp about a mile up the road from there. Hell, one customer sitting there pissed made a point of ranting on about how he hated 'pikeys'...not realising he was sat next to 'one of them', he then swore at Shelley to get him another beer before staggering off to the toilet, and not on his own. It seemed 'words' took place, he came and apologised to Shelley and went away...some are diamonds...you get arseholes no matter what your breeding...


AMEN to that lol :lol:


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## Joules&Greyhounds (Jan 31, 2011)

jetsmum said:


> I've just finished watching this and I'm going to ask the question that everybody watching it will want to know the answer to.
> How on Earth can they afford weddings like that?????
> I don't mean coz they're travellers, that's got nothing to do with it.But these are the kind of weddings only pop stars and famous footballers could afford.I can't even begin to imagine how much that castle cake cost and some of the dresses must have cost a fortune.


I guess it is priorities. From what I understand from the show - culturally, those weddings are THE main event in those girls lives and their parent's are prepared to pay for it.

Personally, a wedding isn't on my list of priorities - I'd rather get a foot on the housing ladder (I can but dream!). But, it doesn't mean it is wrong that those people have different priorities.

I was actually, really, really impressed yesterday with what I saw - especially with the protests. Casting my minds back a few months to other protests I've seen - they put supposedly educated and well brought up, more culturally accepted people to shame.

I thought the series was fascinating - I might not agree with some of the principles of the travelling community (but then, I don't agree with some of the principles of Christianity or other cultural groups), but it was really interesting to see how and why they do some of the things they do. It also brought home, that actually - they are just people at the end of the day and that like anything, a minority tends to spoil it for a few.

You'd never, ever catch me in any of those outfits though! :lol:


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

I liked the protest. So many people it could have gone horribly wrong but he was very insistent they weren't to cause trouble and it worked I guess because he's an elder in the Roma community so they respected him. The horses running loose in the middle had me worried though


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