# Crate sleep training - I’m sleeping with him downstairs



## labradoodlefirsttimer (Apr 5, 2021)

I’m a first time puppy owner and my puppy is 8.5 weeks old. We picked him up 3 days ago and because he howled when we left him alone in his crate we decided that we’d take it in turns (me, husband and 11 year old daughter) to sleep downstairs with him while he settles in. There is so much advice about putting the crate and pup in your bedroom for the first few weeks and gradually moving the crate downstairs but as we want upstairs out of bounds fir the pup, we’ve decided to sleep downstairs for now. Does anybody have any advice on how we can gradually leave him alone and how long we should wait before we start to remove ourselves? Any advice greatly appreciated! 
Also, does leaving them to cry it out cause separation anxiety? many thanks
Juneko


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## karenmc (Feb 3, 2018)

We slept downstairs when Luna was a puppy. This enabled us to comfort her when needed. She quickly settled into sleeping in her crate and saw it as a safe place. We read that people stayed downstairs for a couple of weeks. I think we stayed for about 4 weeks. Not saying this as advice, just sharing it what worked for us. Hope your puppy settles well.


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## JoanneF (Feb 1, 2016)

labradoodlefirsttimer said:


> Also, does leaving them to cry it out cause separation anxiety?


Please don't leave him to cry it out - that is old fashioned advice that we now know does long term harm.

At this stage, he is an infant who has just been separated from mum and littermates and meeting his emotional needs is just as important as meeting his physical needs. When he is crying, it is because he is alone in the dark and anxious. By you being there for him, you won't make him clingy, you will help him develop his confidence by protecting him from the scary night time and he will grow in confidence as he learns there is nothing to fear. You are not "rewarding his crying," you are meeting a fundamental need of an infant.

Hopefully you wouldn't leave a child who was afraid of the dark to cry themselves to sleep, alone. Your puppy is the same. The dogs that stop crying don't do so because they suddenly realise everything is ok, they do it because they have given up hope. It is an extreme example but in trauma victims, it's the silent ones who are most damaged.

This article explains the science behind it.

http://www.simplybehaviour.com/letting-dog-cry-cause-permanent-damage/

It is a good idea to start helping him develop independence soon though, and Emma Judson's Flitting Game, described about ⅔ of the way down this link is a good way to start.

https://www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/post/separation-anxiety-fact-vs-fiction


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## Blaise in Surrey (Jun 10, 2014)

I was downstairs with staffie X Brecon for around two weeks (he was a rescue who came to me at about four months). Other than toilet breaks I didn’t open his crate, but just spoke soothingly to him when necessary. As I gradually removed myself I used a baby monitor, set up so that the microphone was with me and the speaker with him. This meant that, once I was back in my own bed, if he made a noise in the night (and it wasn’t a request for a toilet break) I could still speak to him from the comfort of my own bed! I’ve used this method with all my dogs and it’s always worked.


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## labradoodlefirsttimer (Apr 5, 2021)

karenmc said:


> We slept downstairs when Luna was a puppy. This enabled us to comfort her when needed. She quickly settled into sleeping in her crate and saw it as a safe place. We read that people stayed downstairs for a couple of weeks. I think we stayed for about 4 weeks. Not saying this as advice, just sharing it what worked for us. Hope your puppy settles well.


Thanks for sharing your experience, I'll def consider 4 weeks if that's what it takes. Please could you share how you managed to successfully extract yourself after 4 weeks? Was she sleeping through the night at this point? Would she settle back down by herself if you took her out for a wee?


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## labradoodlefirsttimer (Apr 5, 2021)

Blaise in Surrey said:


> I was downstairs with staffie X Brecon for around two weeks (he was a rescue who came to me at about four months). Other than toilet breaks I didn't open his crate, but just spoke soothingly to him when necessary. As I gradually removed myself I used a baby monitor, set up so that the microphone was with me and the speaker with him. This meant that, once I was back in my own bed, if he made a noise in the night (and it wasn't a request for a toilet break) I could still speak to him from the comfort of my own bed! I've used this method with all my dogs and it's always worked.


That's a great tip, thank you!


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## karenmc (Feb 3, 2018)

labradoodlefirsttimer said:


> Thanks for sharing your experience, I'll def consider 4 weeks if that's what it takes. Please could you share how you managed to successfully extract yourself after 4 weeks? Was she sleeping through the night at this point? Would she settle back down by herself if you took her out for a wee?


Luckily for us as soon as we stroked Luna she would snuggle back down to sleep rather than stand up to be let out (we would have taken her out if so). We had a puppy pad in her crate but she never went on it. She would wake around 5:30-6 and go straight out for a wee. We laid a blanket over the top of her crate so she could still see out of the bottom but so it was cosy and followed the same routine each night. We took her out for a last wee then let her walk into the crate herself. We gave her a couple of biscuits and left. She would settle herself as she ate her biscuits then go to sleep. 
We did have a period of time when she started waking and we always came downstairs so we would offer her the chance to go out then back in. Sometimes I would stay on the sofa and have what we joked 'a sleepover'. Luna is a typical Goldie who loves company and a cuddle. @tabelmabel always says I go for the gentle method!!Lol. She then gradually stopped this and slept through really well. We actually had to wake her up some mornings!! 
She is now 2 and we allow her to choose where she would like to sleep. Sprawled across our new sofas is her new bed!
We would love to see a picture of your puppy.x


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## Emlar (Sep 29, 2020)

We slept downstairs with our pup for the first week. After that we settled him off to sleep, then went upstairs to bed. Also set an alarm at regular intervals throughout the night to take him out for a wee. Slowly made these intervals longer until he was able to go all night, took us a few weeks.
I think you just have to go at your and your puppy's pace!


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