# Nasty Neighbours :(



## umber (Feb 15, 2009)

Hoping someone can offer some advice on this problem. We have a garden which backs onto the back of another garden. So techinally those people who live there are not our neighbours as they dont live next to us but live behind us.

Anyways ill get to the point. We moved here 2 years ago and its lovely except for one thing the people or should I say the kids who live behind us.

Especially during the nice weather when everyone wants to be outside. They have a huge trampoline in their garden so they jump up and can see into out garden. This is not the problem. The problem is that they are quite nasty and racist. Im not white English although I have been born and bought up here. They stand there jumping up and down shouting out rasict and rude comments and sometimes bring their trampoline right next to the fence so they are leaning over into the garden with their friends just saying really silly things and as both me and my husband look obviously muslim they even shout out rude things in that respect too  Last year we just put up with it but now my son is almost 2 and he wants to be in the garden more we just got him a lovely garden wendy house and slide etc and as we now have rabbits he loves being out in the garden playing. Just as we thought they dont play in their garden any more it started agin yesterday only this time they have noticed we have rabbits now. So they were all staring at the rabbits aswell as just looking really intimidating and saying there usual mean things.

Im worried for my son and its just not nice not being able to enjoy the privacy of your own home without worrying about rasist neighbours but I am also now worried about our rabbits perhaps they may throw stones or food which is bad for them at them 

Im not sure what to do here! I dont want to be confrontational and make things worse but at the same time I cant just live in fear of these kids.
:frown2:


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## MissD (Mar 2, 2009)

Hi Umber

I was very sad to read this - must be distressing for you.

I would try talking to the parents - is there anywhere you can accost them on neutral territory? I'm hoping they would care about what their children are saying. Do you think the parents already know/hear what the children are saying? 

Other than trying to talk to the parents I don't know what else to suggest.

Good luck


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## cherrie_b (Dec 14, 2008)

I am not sure if you are allowed to do this sort of thing, but I would record everything they say/do and either take it to the police or council and get something done about it. 

We had awful neighbours like these and we got the council involved.

Regards
Cheryl


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## red_dwarf15 (Nov 17, 2008)

that is aufull 
if it was me i would talk to the parents, and if that didnt work i would report it to the police!! its antisocial behaviour and they can do summat about it.
makes me so mad that people think they can get away with things like that


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## kellyrich (Jan 8, 2009)

Sorry to hear this Umber - its not fair at all and i can imagine quite distressing for you! Im not quite sure what you can do - unless like MissD said and speak to the parents but sometimes the parents can be just as bad. 

I hope you can find some way to resolve this but not sure what to suggest at the moment! Sorry x


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## kellyrich (Jan 8, 2009)

I was going to say report it to the police but im not quite sure if they would actually do anything or not! It would be nice to think they do care and would do something!!


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## xXedixXx (Mar 20, 2009)

I am white English/Irish but I despise anyone who is racist. There is no reason that you should have to put up with this. How old are the kids?

Also call the police, you cannot let these people carry on like that, its unfair and against the law. Maybe you could try talking with their parents, but to be honest if they're saying things like that their parents are probably racist to. Do not put up with it and I hope things work out.


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## rattiemum86 (Mar 22, 2009)

I personally would make records of times and dates and the abuse they are hurling at you and if you can even video it or record them saying these things and do it for about a month and then take all your evidence to the police and they will HAVE to do something about it! Racism is Racism and you dont have to put up with it hun xx


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## lalala (May 14, 2008)

Hi Umber,feel very sorry for we. We are at the moment waiting to go to crown court over racial abuse and treats to Kill which happen after we confronted our neighbours.When we went to the police they said that they wished we had gone sooner and that they would have put a camera in our garden to record the events as this would stand up much better in court. Dont put up with it.Asses the family and if you feel comfortable go speak to the parents but chances are if the kids are racist that it comes from the parents so dont put your self into danger.Racism is a criminal offence and your child should be allowed to play safe n the garden.The guy who has been dong it to us is also now being evicted and it cant come soon enough.Good luck hun.


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## Marcia (Mar 10, 2009)

What sort of people are the parents? The kids must have picked up those racist comments from somewhere, usually the parents. I would also go to the police, you shouldn't put up with disgusting racial comments


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## umber (Feb 15, 2009)

We did discuss going to see their parents but like some of you mentioned we dont know what they are like and perhaps it could just make it worse.

I do like the idea of making note of times and dates and even recording when they are nasty so we do have some evidence to perhaps show their parents and the police.

Although I have not heard them swearing at us its mainly comments shouted out whilst jumping up and down. Another confusing thing is... there are so many different kids... I dont think they all live there but they must be the friends of the actual kids. I would say they are about 12 some of them are older.

Again its the hanging onto our fence and saying comments. 

I think from now on we shall record them and if they ask what im doing... Ill tell them?

The thing is up to date we have never said anything to them. Usually when they start we go inside... sounds cowardly I know but I dont want to start any arguments perhaps putting the safety of my child at risk. 

So to be fair perhaps if I had said something they may have stopped by now.


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## MissD (Mar 2, 2009)

Hi Umber

This is not your fault!

I'm non-confrontational too. Around here the kids vandalise cars. If I catch them and shout at them....what happens if they _don'_t run away?

I wish you luck with a resolution. I wonder if a dummy 'security' camera facing the fence would put them off - or a proper one to record the abuse.

Good luck :thumbsup:


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## turkeylad (Mar 1, 2009)

&#304; was so sorry to read that your being persecuted in your own home and that your son is being subjected to these vile childrens comments. Firstly, try to talk to the parents on a safe basis -- if this fails keep a diary of times dates and what is said to you. After about 2 weeks of entries take the diary to the police and local council. Keep your diary going even if they say they will look into it. &#304;f anything other than verbal threats are made get photographic evidence. Good Luck! &#304; hope you are able to resolve this before the British Summer (That 1 warm day in July) so you can enjoy your garden.


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## turkeylad (Mar 1, 2009)

&#304;f you really dont think you can talk to the parents alone -- Whether your religous or not ask a local minister to go with you.


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## noushka05 (Mar 28, 2008)

thats terrible, it must really upsetting living so close to ignorant idiots like that maybe you could get a cheap home cctv to hopefully deter them


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## Vixxen (Jan 13, 2009)

racism is wrong, no ifs or buts about it and the police should treat it seriously, so personally i would invove police.


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## foxxy cleopatra (Nov 18, 2008)

horrible, i feel so sad for you  hope you get it sorted soon!!!!! GRRRR some people make me so angry. Hope you are okay...x


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## frags (Feb 5, 2009)

oh hun thats terrible!!!! theres no excuses at all for it, its down right disgusting!!!
id like to point out tho 1 thing that the parents might not know there doing this (thought id add my bit as a parent) and might be totally disgusted with there children as much as yourself.
my daughter leila is half turkish and i heard my son call her a horrid name the 'P' word and i was so disgusted i washed his mouth out with soap (cruel but so was that word) i havent heard him call her it again but what im trying to say is that no matter if there parents dont use it they pick up such vile language from other children at schools etc and if the parents are half decent they would punish the children for doing this.
if there the type that dont seem approachable then i would deffo keep times and dates and also video evidence of the abuse and go to the council/police as rascism is such a big thing that im sure something would be done about it.
good luck hun no1 should put up with it.


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## LittleMissSunshine (Aug 31, 2008)

I would definitely keep a record, and maybe go to citizens advice bureau who can give you free and impartial advice....

Personally I'd feel like pouring dog poo through their letterbox... (not advised) I wonder if the parents are aware of what the children are up to???

I hope it works out xxxxx


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## frags (Feb 5, 2009)

LittleMissSunshine said:


> I would definitely keep a record, and maybe go to citizens advice bureau who can give you free and impartial advice....
> 
> Personally I'd feel like pouring dog poo through their letterbox... (not advised) I wonder if the parents are aware of what the children are up to???
> 
> I hope it works out xxxxx


oooo dog poo, great minds think alike


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## Domoniques (Feb 7, 2009)

Hi 
only read your post but get the police to talk to parents .


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## crofty (May 2, 2008)

Oh what brats, i hate kids like that. I would speak to the parents too, if you cant resolve it with them peacefully then definetely go to the police, they will take it very seriously, you and your family should not have to put up with such disgusting behaviour especially in your own home.


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## umber (Feb 15, 2009)

I think I will start taking notes and making records of when these things happen in the future. Its only going to be when the weather gets warmer that I will be able to tell if they will be doing it every day. As last year during the summer it was a daily thing as they spent all day in their garden. Also both me and my husband feel that its really when the kids friends come over that they start acting up. 

If it does start up again I think we will say to the kids please stop or we will come and speak to your parents. If they dont then we will try and talk to their parents and if that doesnt work then we will take it to the police. 

The main issue with them is the fact that they stand on their trampline hanging onto the fence just saying silly things some times to each other but so we can hear like 'Oh isnt it sad we used to have friends but they got blown up by the taliban' :scared: I was actually horrified to hear that. One no member of my family approves of the killing of any innocent person no matter what colour/race/religion its disgusting and secondly to make a joke out of a serious matter like this where peope have lost family is disgusting. 
Other things are like... jumping up and down on the trampoline shouting out 'Paki' 'Jihad' 'help im being bombed' just really childish things like that.

They may sound childish but when you have 3 or 4 intimidting kids hanging on to your fence it really is quite scary...scary enough for me to pack my rabbits away in their hutch and take my son inside the house on a warm sunny day. :crying:

Its also a matter of privacy... I dont really want kids hanging on my fence or 
jumping to look into my garden when im trying to spend time with my family.

It may sound strange but we have actually spent the last 6 months or so trying to plan how we can put something up to block their view grow trees, trelice etc. My husband bless him decided against the trees because he said it would block the sun going into their garden....he is a wondeful man and I just wish those kids would realise we are not terrorists just because we are muslims

But Thank You to all of you for your help and support I never thought Id get so many wonderful comments and so much advice already its made me feel so much stronger like we can hopefully enjoy the summer.

Like I mentioned above we now have a plan of action in mind! :thumbup:


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## frags (Feb 5, 2009)

umber said:


> I think I will start taking notes and making records of when these things happen in the future. Its only going to be when the weather gets warmer that I will be able to tell if they will be doing it every day. As last year during the summer it was a daily thing as they spent all day in their garden. Also both me and my husband feel that its really when the kids friends come over that they start acting up.
> 
> If it does start up again I think we will say to the kids please stop or we will come and speak to your parents. If they dont then we will try and talk to their parents and if that doesnt work then we will take it to the police.
> 
> ...


good for you umber!! dont let them get away with saying such filth!!! if i was there mother id wash there mouths out, not that i think my kids would use such language!! like i said before my son called my daughter the 'paki' word and i was so horrified as a parent to hear this!!
good luck with it i hope you get it sorted!


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## catty (Feb 6, 2009)

This is a criminal offence and the police must do something if you complain, although i know in reality that doesn't always happen. Can I ask whether the family behind you are living in a privately owned house? If you are not sure or think that it is rented, you can check at the Land Registry to see who owns the house and complain to the landlord. You would need to look at the register of the property which costs three pounds At Land Register online (www.landregisteronline.gov.uk).
Also, be very wary of dealing with children on your own and especially filming them. Children nowadays know that they can make alot of trouble for adults by complaining about them and this sort of thing may be best done with the knowledge and cooperation of the police (although I know how tempting it is and it would give you the proof that you want).


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## AlexT (Jan 16, 2009)

Yeah i'd say record or find away of getting evidence of this and going straight to the police because its unacceptable behavour especially in your own back yard.


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