# Proving ownership of a cat (stolen from me)



## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

Hello,

I have a dilemma regarding my cat Boo and wondered if you were able to offer any advice or assistance.

My girlfriend left me, on the very next day she came back and took possessions and my cat. She did this whilst I was out at work. It was my cat, and was given to me by a friend of mine, not hers. I was able to find out her new address and got in communication with her. I believe she would not have let me know where she was moving to and where the cat was, and I have found out now that it was definetely premedidated decision to take my cat away.

I have been going over to see the cat, she initially said we could share it for two weeks at a time, but every time I mention this, she finds some reason not to do this, and I am finding the visits are becoming less frequent and the time I am there is getting less.

I am also worried about the welfare of my cat. Her lifestyle is chaotic, she is conducting an affair with a married man whilst his wife is sick in hospital, and is spending long bouts of time away from the cat, I have also recently found out that she has been smoking drugs (cannabis as far as I am aware). My cat was diagnosed with cardiac myopathy and is going to have a decreased lifespan and though I do not specifically think that she would mistreat the cat, I am worried about the welfare of my cat for the above factors.

I would like to solve this diplomatically, but want to know where I stand with regards to ownership. Can I just go and get Boo back, or would I need to instigate legal proceedings? Any help you could give me in this regard would be appreciated.

Saul


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## gloworm*mushroom (Mar 4, 2011)

However, is the cat registered and microchipped? If these are in your name, that will help greatly. Is the cat registered at the vet under your name?

I think by agreeing to share the cat you may have lost some ground, due to the fact you have set a precedent for shared ownership. The affairs and things you mentioned in that paragraph i would try and stay out of as her lifestyle isn;t really your business, although i understand your concerns related to the welfare of your cat.

In my opinion, and what i would personally do in this situation, is go and get the cat back. If my boyfriend took my cats (registered in my name etc) I would go and get them back in a heartbeat. I am not saying this is legally allowed or whatever, but if you have your friend who can say 'Yes I gave saul1664 my cat.' that will also help. 

How long did you girlfriend live with you and the cat? Did you get the cat before you were with her, or during?

Please be aware I am not legally trained in this area so would not want to offer binding advice.


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## BlessedbyJack (Feb 23, 2011)

Hi Saul,

Welcome to the boards,

I cannot offer advice but just wanted to say I am sorry you have been placed in this situation. I hope that this can be resolved quickly and easily for you, you sound very reasonable and fair and i hope she sees sense and returns the cat to you.

Take care,


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## HelloKittyHannah (Nov 18, 2010)

I'd go round to visit, wait for her to leave the room, pick up the cat and make a quick getaway!
After that get the cat microchipped asap (if it's not already) in your name.

If he's an outdoor cat there's nothing to stop her coming and taking him back, so I'd keep him indoors when you get him back.

Good luck with everything.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

gloworm*mushroom said:


> However, is the cat registered and microchipped? If these are in your name, that will help greatly. Is the cat registered at the vet under your name?
> 
> I think by agreeing to share the cat you may have lost some ground, due to the fact you have set a precedent for shared ownership. The affairs and things you mentioned in that paragraph i would try and stay out of as her lifestyle isn;t really your business, although i understand your concerns related to the welfare of your cat.
> 
> ...


The cat isn't microchipped and I doubt he would have been registered under my name, he is under hers at the vets as we have always gone to the vets together. I don't think there would be any registration documents as he was given straight to me.

I haven't agreed to anything yet, this is all from her side. We were together for 10 years, the cat I got from my friend when I was with her, she wasn't even keen on having him at first.


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## honeysmummy (Oct 17, 2010)

go get your baby...i would....sounds like she is doing it to spite you
even if she does kick off after...surely you cannot get into trouble...i am guessing she wouldnt put up much of a fight....i think with my heart not my head...but the gain of having your cat back would out weigh the risks for me


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## Kiwi (Nov 18, 2010)

Agree with above. Go get *your *cat back, microchipped, and safe with you x


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## GeordieBabe (Apr 7, 2009)

sadly there are no laws when it comes to cats like there is with dogs,all i can suggest is you speak to your ex and tell her your worried for the cat,tell her she's welcome to enjoy her life with drugs etc but you don't want your cat hurt by her taking drugs,try and be nice at first, if she is unreasonable just take the cat and walk out, like i said there's no law so she can't do anything  good luck hun:thumbup:


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## TatiLie (Nov 2, 2010)

That's so sad!
I can really sympathise with your cat. My parents got divorced when I was a child and I was caught in the middle of their fight, moving homes and living with strangers.
I think that maybe if you talk to her about your cat's best interest she might come to her senses and give him back. Cats have a big trouble adjusting to a new home and specially a cat at that age. If she really cares about him and wants his best, she will agree to return him to you.


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## Amin (Jul 31, 2009)

Just Go and get the cat back. I,am sure you can make some excuse to get in here place where the cat is, Then Just pick cat up and tell her to get out the way, your taking YOUR cat back.


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## gladass (Jan 6, 2011)

Agree with everyone who has posted. Get the cat back and then its your ex who will have to prove its hers so she may join the forum to ask lol and the nice members can tell her to get lost


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## XxZoexX (Sep 8, 2010)

I think the cat should find its way home somehow.. who knows how 
Is it an outdoor cat?


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## Gratch (Aug 22, 2010)

Do you have any old and recent pics of you with the cat that you can show the police if they end up getting involved?


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## Lil Miss (Dec 11, 2010)

i would agree with everyone else go get him back

but i would also add, as soon as you get him, get him microchipped, then you will have documents proving hes yours


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## koekemakranka (Aug 2, 2010)

saul1664 said:


> The cat isn't microchipped and I doubt he would have been registered under my name, he is under hers at the vets as we have always gone to the vets together. I don't think there would be any registration documents as he was given straight to me.
> 
> I haven't agreed to anything yet, this is all from her side. We were together for 10 years, the cat I got from my friend when I was with her, she wasn't even keen on having him at first.


10 years is a long time. She probably loves the cat as well. I don't think stealing him back is a good idea, especially if it seems Boo's paperwork is in her name. I am sorry, but I think the best you can do at this stage is negotiate shared custody or visitation rights and then hope she calms down a bit. Who knows? With luck, her new lover doesn't like cats and then she will ask you to take Boo. You must be very heartbroken. I am so sorry.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

koekemakranka said:


> 10 years is a long time. She probably loves the cat as well. I don't think stealing him back is a good idea, especially if it seems Boo's paperwork is in her name. I am sorry, but I think the best you can do at this stage is negotiate shared custody or visitation rights and then hope she calms down a bit. Who knows? With luck, her new lover doesn't like cats and then she will ask you to take Boo. You must be very heartbroken. I am so sorry.


The point is, there is no paperwork specifically in her name, she registered the cat at the vets under her surname, but he's not microchipped and there are no registration documents.

1) Photos - Have hundreds of photos - the cat is very distinctive

2) He's an indoor cat, doesn't even like the outdoors, he won't go outside


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## Guest (Mar 8, 2011)

I don't really know what to say for your situation.

But if this was my situation with my pets and my husband >

If me and my husband were to split up I know we would both fight for our pets. Holly my Rott. Was bought by my husband and must admit she does seem to prefer him to me But I am the one who walks her everyday and genreally cares for her, Taking her to the vets, Buys her toys and feed and goes to training classes with her. 
If a split happened I know I would want to take her but legally I don't know where I would stand. She is microchipped in my name and at the vets in my name but my husband has proof he actually bought her. Shadow and Chaos are my dogs as in they were my decision to get them same as the rest of the pets but that wouldnt stop my husband wanting them. Id hate for the pets to be split up but I think we would have to come to some arrangement with some going to him and some to me. but I doubt we would be able to do this easily as we equally love all our pets the same. If things couldn't be resolved then I think we would have to let the courts decide as its simply not fair on the pets to be caught up in our arguments. Same goes with our children.....BUT hopefully this will NEVER happen.


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## Jenny1966 (Feb 7, 2011)

saul1664 said:


> Hello,
> 
> I have a dilemma regarding my cat Boo and wondered if you were able to offer any advice or assistance.
> 
> ...


tbh I think whilst everything is still raw, which it must be purely because you told us the in and outs of what she is doing now (and this isnt a dig, I appreciate you must be hurting) you should carry on doing what you are doing with the visits and the contact with your ex in the hope that she might see sense and let you have the cat back. Unfortunately if she doesnt do this, I'm not sure you have any rights


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## Angie2011 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hi and welcome! sorry to hear of your dilemma with your Cat! i would try an offer to buy a BRAND new kitty...i would take kitty pic around and ask her what one would she like! if the split was your decision, she is not likely to take you up on the offer! and just wants to spite you, buy if it was her decision, she may take you up on the offer!!! Then when you get your Cat back......Don't go through with the offer!!! SORRY! but i would be SNEAKY!  good luck Angie


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## Kraken (Sep 23, 2010)

I would urge caution.

When breakups such as yours occur nasty things can be said as a tool to make you look bad, criminal even.
I suggest before you go into her place switch on a digital recorder - your mobile phone may have one built in - and keep it running so that everything she and you say is recorded before you remove the cat.

Presumably she does not have a key to your place. If she does, change the locks now.

Good luck.


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## Gratch (Aug 22, 2010)

If you have loads of past and present photos with just you and the cat, maybe tell the police the situation. I know people are saying there's nothing that can legally be done but if you really want the cat back trying everything is your best bet. It's good that the cats distinctive, take in some photos of the cat younger and older and tell them your ex has stolen him/her. If they can help, they will. Aslong as you have evidence she is yours - photos of you and the cat together over many years - something might be done.


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## Sushi's Mummy (Oct 13, 2010)

As she took your cat without your knowledge and you want to get it back I would simply go round to hers on one of your "visitation days" and pick the cat up and make a run for it.

I dont really think there is any other way. I think police would secretly laugh at this problem and not be as understanding as us kitty loving folk. I cant see them going round to your ex's with a kitty warrant.

Go get your Boo!!!

:thumbup:


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## Gratch (Aug 22, 2010)

Honestly I find telling OP to just take the cat a bit alarming. I would definitely try the police first if this happened to me. In all honesty I think alot of these suggestions will end badly for him. What if she calls the police after he takes off with the cat? If he goes to them as his first step he might stand a better chance.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

It was theft. She left on the 26th October and came back and took Boo on the 27th, I have documentation to prove this, I also have documentation that she intended to do this in advance, she took personal effects as well, so she has broken the law.

When I originally phoned the police, they were disinterested and told me that anything we had accumulated over the years was shared property and I was perfectly entitled to go and take what I wanted from her house (including the cat) but they did not want to get involved unless items she took were later sold on.

Obviously, I don't want to just go in there and grab the cat back or involve the police, obviously that is going to entail a criminal charge for her, but I am running out of options, she communicates on her own terms and often ignores emails and text messages.

Incidentally the cats protection league sent me this ...

*Cats are regarded as property a bit like a TV or a car might be. A Cat belongs to and is owned by any person until that person signs away their ownership of the cat. Only the owner of a cat (or someone with authority from the owner) can give up their ownership rights and unless that occurs the cat remains property of the owner. Proof of owner ship of the cats can include photos and veterinary bills in your name etc.*

And there is a precedent here ...

BBC News - MP John Hemming's wife in court over kitten theft

Obviously I would like to try and end this amicably, but this may not actually be possible.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

It was theft. She left on the 26th October and came back and took Boo on the 27th, I have documentation to prove this, I also have documentation that she intended to do this in advance, she took personal effects as well, so she has broken the law.

When I originally phoned the police, they were disinterested and told me that anything we had accumulated over the years was shared property and I was perfectly entitled to go and take what I wanted from her house (including the cat) but they did not want to get involved unless items she took were later sold on.

Obviously, I don't want to just go in there and grab the cat back or involve the police, obviously that is going to entail a criminal charge for her, but I am running out of options, she communicates on her own terms and often ignores emails and text messages.

Incidentally the cats protection league sent me this ...

*Cats are regarded as property a bit like a TV or a car might be. A Cat belongs to and is owned by any person until that person signs away their ownership of the cat. Only the owner of a cat (or someone with authority from the owner) can give up their ownership rights and unless that occurs the cat remains property of the owner. Proof of owner ship of the cats can include photos and veterinary bills in your name etc.*

And there is a precedent here ...

BBC News - MP John Hemming&#039;s wife in court over kitten theft

Obviously I would like to try and end this amicably, but this may not actually be possible.


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## gloworm*mushroom (Mar 4, 2011)

saul1664 said:


> It was theft. She left on the 26th October and came back and took Boo on the 27th, I have documentation to prove this, I also have documentation that she intended to do this in advance, she took personal effects as well, so she has broken the law.
> 
> When I originally phoned the police, they were disinterested and told me that anything we had accumulated over the years was shared property and I was perfectly entitled to go and take what I wanted from her house (including the cat) but they did not want to get involved unless items she took were later sold on.
> 
> ...


Unfortunately you have no proof that the cat is yours and yours alone. You have had the cat ten years, and so has your girlfriend. if you go to her house, and remove the cat, and she calls the police, its more like YOU will be charged than her... You have already stated she is registered at the vets in your girlfriends name, which is mentioned in the CPL quote.

I think the other posters need to see the situation from the side of both you AND your girlfriend.

The link you posted is irrelevant as she broke into someone elses house who was unrelated and took a cat from her. This is not a cat she had lived with for ten years, and I assume contributed to all the living costs of the cat.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

The thing which is in my favour I believe is that my friend gave the cat to me, not to her and this can be verified. Also she wrote to me in email saying she wasn't taking the cat, then the day after she left, she gained entry whilst I was at work and took the cat and had help from two third parties.

I am obviously not going to go over and just grab Boo, although when I made the initial call to the police, they did not think that this would contribute to any crime whatsoever.


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## gloworm*mushroom (Mar 4, 2011)

saul1664 said:


> The thing which is in my favour I believe is that my friend gave the cat to me, not to her and this can be verified. Also she wrote to me in email saying she wasn't taking the cat, then the day after she left, she gained entry whilst I was at work and took the cat and had help from two third parties.
> 
> I am obviously not going to go over and just grab Boo, although when I made the initial call to the police, they did not think that this would contribute to any crime whatsoever.


I honestly hope you can get something sorted here, I would be heartbroken if my cats were taken.

Is your ex vindictive, The only issue with your friend saying he gave it to you is does HE have proof the cat was once his? She could reasonably easily say 'my friend gave ME the cat.' If no one has any proof of purchase or registration it can be difficult. Why did you put him in the vets in her name, I cannot think of a reason for this and this might be something she has the upper hand on.

Did you guys share rent on the house your shared? Was it in both of your names and did she have a key? These factors all contribute to whether her entry was lawful etc.

*edit for clarity of pronouns!*


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## Marley boy (Sep 6, 2010)

im afraid it is going to be hard for you to say the cat was yours. 
1: you were together ten years 
2: the cat is in her name at the vets
3: the cat isn't microchipped 
4: nothing to prove your friend gave the cat to you and not your partner, i doubt your friend said to you this can be your cat but not your partners, if you were living together. 

This doesnt mean i dont feel really bad for you, this is a horrible situation. I wouldnt say go and take the cat back again, this is a cat not a pass the parcel, whats to stop her going and taking it back from you again! I think your best bet is to talk with your ex and explain how you feel tactfully, and see if she will give you back the cat permently. Maybe kissing some arse may be the way to get your cat back. :thumbup: good luck keep us updated


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

I'm afraid I agree with those on this thread who say catnapping is not the best solution, which you seem to agree with anyway. Like them, I think you need to be absolutely sure you can prove the cat was yours in the beginning. Your friend's word won't be enough, your friend, as others have said, will need to prove the cat belonged to him/her in the first place and will need concrete evidence the cat was given to you and only you. Your friend's word will not be enough. Plus as the cat protection league said, you need other documentary evidence. If all this is in your ex's name, then she has the proof and not yourself.

I really do feel for you because I would be devastated to lose any of my pets. Unfortunately, and I am not calling you a liar, but we also have only your word for it that the cat belongs to you, which is why I think advising you to steal the cat is wrong because people could be encouraging you to break your ex's heart and I don't hold with that. 

One thing is for certain, it is not my place to say or judge, so if you say the cat is yours, I believe you, but I think you should follow any legal route possible or do as others have said and kiss ass rather than make an already difficult situation worse. Whatever you choose, good luck and I hope things work out for the best for both you and your ex.


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## Paper (Dec 20, 2008)

I'd walk straight into her home, pick up the cat, and walk out... Get your friend to back you up. If it goes to court (she tries to claim you stole the cat), your friend hopefully will be able to back you up.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> I'm afraid I agree with those on this thread who say catnapping is not the best solution, which you seem to agree with anyway. Like them, I think you need to be absolutely sure you can prove the cat was yours in the beginning. Your friend's word won't be enough, your friend, as others have said, will need to prove the cat belonged to him/her in the first place and will need concrete evidence the cat was given to you and only you. Your friend's word will not be enough. Plus as the cat protection league said, you need other documentary evidence. If all this is in your ex's name, then she has the proof and not yourself.
> 
> I really do feel for you because I would be devastated to lose any of my pets. Unfortunately, and I am not calling you a liar, but we also have only your word for it that the cat belongs to you, which is why I think advising you to steal the cat is wrong because people could be encouraging you to break your ex's heart and I don't hold with that.
> 
> One thing is for certain, it is not my place to say or judge, so if you say the cat is yours, I believe you, but I think you should follow any legal route possible or do as others have said and kiss ass rather than make an already difficult situation worse. Whatever you choose, good luck and I hope things work out for the best for both you and your ex.


Try to encompass all the replies on this one. Originally the cat came from my friend Emma who I studied with at college. It was a multiple birth and she gave me Boo, this is not in dispute.

I think people need to look at it the other way around as in what claim does she have for the cat, her link has to be more tenuous than mine. It was registered in the vets name under her surname because I didn't think of anything about it at the time.

Well yes, I could be lying of course, but have stated I have documentary evidence and I am actively trying to avoid a criminal prosecution, if I was going to march in there and take him, then obviously it would have been done by now.


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## gloworm*mushroom (Mar 4, 2011)

saul1664 said:


> I think people need to look at it the other way around as in what claim does she have for the cat, her link has to be more tenuous than mine. It was registered in the vets name under her surname because I didn't think of anything about it at the time.


She has the same claim to you really, only hers is sadly backed up by vet registration and current possession of the cat. The courts may look at it in this way, why would anyone let someone else register their cat at the vet. It seems a bit of a strange thing to do, though i do believe that it is your cat from your friend.

I think what is really the best way is to talk to your ex. Ask her for your 2 weeks with Boo, and then cut off communication. I assume you have now changed your locks and your ex has no ability nor claim to be in your house. if you do that, make sure she has absolutely everything in your house which she could lay claim to that you don't need or want. Hopefully if you are fair with her she will be fair with you...


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## Paper (Dec 20, 2008)

I have to agree with Sacremist actually. Acting out of anger probably isn't the best option as I suggested. The thing you could do, however, is withhold your ex's stuff from her and propose a trade. Otherwise I would keep hold of the stuff until she takes it to court. Your counter claim should be that you kept the stuff because you wanted your cat back. If she is stupid enough she'll admit to taking the cat and the judge will hopefully honour both claims.

On third thought though, I would just go take the cat. If she didn't want it and only took it to be nasty, then she probably won't care. No offence, but she sounds like a *****


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Paper said:


> On third thought though, I would just go take the cat. If she didn't want it and only took it to be nasty, then she probably won't care. No offence, but she sounds like a *****


This is the problem, unfortunately, no-one on here really knows why she took the cat. If she has truly taken it for spite, then I would probably try and find some way to just snatch it back.

On the other hand, if she has taken the cat because she loves it and does not want to be without it, well, for you it makes the whole situation much more complex.

If the police will do nothing and your ex will not listen to reason, you could always seek advice from a solicitor. It all depends on how much you are prepared to spend.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

gloworm*mushroom said:


> She has the same claim to you really, only hers is sadly backed up by vet registration and current possession of the cat. The courts may look at it in this way, why would anyone let someone else register their cat at the vet. It seems a bit of a strange thing to do, though i do believe that it is your cat from your friend.
> 
> I think what is really the best way is to talk to your ex. Ask her for your 2 weeks with Boo, and then cut off communication. I assume you have now changed your locks and your ex has no ability nor claim to be in your house. if you do that, make sure she has absolutely everything in your house which she could lay claim to that you don't need or want. Hopefully if you are fair with her she will be fair with you...


But the fact is that she gained access to the house when she was no longer in it and stole my cat, it's not like I said she could take it with her, she never discussed it. I don't believe you can just take what you want and claim ownership of it.

With regards to the vet registration, he was registered when we were both together as it was the vet she had previous animals at with her parents and its not something you would have automatically thought at the time that she would take the cat another 5 years later, I guess he was registered in my name when we lived in London.


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## Smitherooney (Sep 15, 2010)

honeysmummy said:


> go get your baby...i would....sounds like she is doing it to spite you
> even if she does kick off after...surely you cannot get into trouble...i am guessing she wouldnt put up much of a fight....i think with my heart not my head...but the gain of having your cat back would out weigh the risks for me


Hi & welcome,
GET YOUR CAT BACK ASAP! for your sake & Boo's. :incazzato:You both need each other and she had no right to take him with her. Seems she has really changed or you have found out what she is really like but you must try for Boo's health sake. Get him home, keep him indoors BUT you MUST change the locks or she will do it again.
I don't know if the RSPCA would be able to assist? 
Hope sooooooooooo much you get Boo back. Please keep in touch. x


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## MoggyBaby (Mar 8, 2011)

Hi Saul,

Firstly, my DEEPEST sympathies at this terrbile dilemma you are in. How horrible it must be to be without your boy.

Ok, two things to offer here, having read through all the various replies.

1. You reckon Boo may have been registered in your name when you lived in London? Get on the phone to that vet & check. Vet's hold records for YEARS so the old address & the cats name should flag him up on their pooters. If they still have you on the database and he is logged under your name get them to e-mail you verifying you as the registered owner along with the age & date he first went there & also any other info that they hold - ie Distinctive markings etc. Assuming Boo was a kitten back then, this would actually be proof that YOU are his owner.

2. How were vet bills paid? Did YOU pay for them on a credit or debit card or was it your ex who made the payments? Again, if you have made most or all of the payments on the vet bills, you might be able to use these as proof that he is yours as it has been you who has paid for his well-being over the years. If this option falls on your side of the fence, then pay a visit to the bank & ask them to give you a print off of all the transactions you have made to "Joe Bloggs Vet Surgery" as this is additonal paperwork in your favour.

I hope these suggestions help you and you are successful. I know that if it was either of my homeboys in this situation, I'd fight tooth & nail to get them returned.

Good luck & keep us updated.


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## Paper (Dec 20, 2008)

^ That!



> I guess he was registered in my name when we lived in London.


Don't guess, confirm.

This is purely my opinion and I understand how emotionally draining this whole saga must be, but: Your *going to have to* accept that this isn't going to be resolved nicely. She might be psychopathic or likes the cat too, probably both. Either way she's not going to make it easy for you. Not to sound nasty, but don't let her stamp all over you like this, you deserve more respect. If I were you I would be horrendously annoyed at being bullied like this.

You're going to loose your ability to get your cat back unless you buck up your ideas, turn into Mr Nasty and get a move on. No more pussy footing. She stole your cat. She's a bitch. Don't give her respect where it isn't due.

If my ex stole my cat and used it to yoyo me, I'd drag him by his b***s through every court in Britain.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

MoggyBaby said:


> Hi Saul,
> 
> Firstly, my DEEPEST sympathies at this terrbile dilemma you are in. How horrible it must be to be without your boy.
> 
> ...


Good idea regarding the first point, the second point, unfortunately she paid for the vet bills and pays for the pet insurance, ironically I virtually paid for every other bill, though at times I am sure I have paid for his medication and the odd pet bill. Although his heart condition is serious, the vet bills are very low as there isn't actually any interventions they can do for him, so most would have been paid by cash.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

This is the second time I have rung the police. They won't take action against her as "she apparently came back into my property to take items she thought were hers", but I do not have the same right to take him back from her property, as we do not share it and I do not have individual access. She said the police would not want to get involved and would have to go through a solicitor.


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## gloworm*mushroom (Mar 4, 2011)

saul1664 said:


> This is the second time I have rung the police. They won't take action against her as "she apparently came back into my property to take items she thought were hers", but I do not have the same right to take him back from her property, as we do not share it and I do not have individual access. She said the police would not want to get involved and would have to go through a solicitor.


If she had lived there with permission, and had her own key, then yes she does have right of access until she gives her key back etc. As you don't, and have never, lived in her new place, you cannot go in there as you have never had the right to access that property on your own.

I hope this can end amicably


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

saul1664 said:


> Good idea regarding the first point, the second point, unfortunately she paid for the vet bills and pays for the pet insurance, ironically I virtually paid for every other bill, though at times I am sure I have paid for his medication and the odd pet bill. Although his heart condition is serious, the vet bills are very low as there isn't actually any interventions they can do for him, so most would have been paid by cash.


The way I see it, this is going nowhere. Go and see a solicitor, if not, give up because it sounds to me' like you are struggling to put enough evidence together.


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## Amin (Jul 31, 2009)

Why don't You - Forget The Cat for a minute, Tell Her You need to talk to her about an unrelated important matter, - Think of one. And that your sorry for the way things have worked out, Your depressed and sorry Bla Bla Bla - Don't mention the cat, Then when Your in her Pad, Do What You Gotta Do! And Leave. Boo in Hand


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> The way I see it, this is going nowhere. Go and see a solicitor, if not, give up because it sounds to me' like you are struggling to put enough evidence together.


Which is why I was trying to define evidence before going forward

I could get the following

1) Initial registration at vet when he was a kitten (for his neutering)
2) Evidence from two separate people he was given to me as a present (and was never her cat)
3) Emails from her to me stating she was not going to take the cat prior to taking it as well as emails to other parties where it was obvious that she had no intention of doing what she said to me
4) Promises to share the cat (which she now goes back on)
5) Failure to communicate through emails, phone calls, visits and text messages
6) Direct evidence of her chaotic lifestyle

Is this going to be enough to prove ownership?


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## gloworm*mushroom (Mar 4, 2011)

1&2 perhaps. Who do you mean by initial registering, you or your friend who gave you Boo.

3&4 show shared ownership. You agreeing ti share Boo suggests you did not consider him yours but 'ours'

5&6 have nothing to do with ownership of Boo

On the counter, your ex has possession, and recent vet registration and bill payments on her side. at the very least it's a balance (though I would say tipping in exs favour sorry to say)

Taking Boo from her at this point would be a very risky move if she has already mentioned legal/police action. The police have already told you it would be theft so I would not do this (not saying you are planning on it, just regarding other peoples suggestions)

Again, hope it works out. Might be a good time to use that hour free solicitor time I hear about!


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

gloworm*mushroom said:


> 1&2 perhaps. Who do you mean by initial registering, you or your friend who gave you Boo.
> 
> 3&4 show shared ownership. You agreeing ti share Boo suggests you did not consider him yours but 'ours'
> 
> ...


When I say initial registration, I mean that he would have been registered in my name when we lived together in London.

I haven't specifically agreed to shared ownership, this was from emails all from her side.

With regard to 5&6, it may be relevant, if it is vague regarding who actually legally owns the cat, then it may come down who is able to look after the cat best. If she is not there (and some of the other things come out) it may be decided that I am the best person to look after him. Solicitor on Monday I guess.


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## Amin (Jul 31, 2009)

I Think getting a solicitor involved (Could be costly) and trying to prove ownership Legally etc etc is going to be a lengthy process, At the end of the day Its The poor wee cats welfare that matters most, Don't think she,s bothered bout this, Just doin it for spite I guess. I still think your best bet is putting all your energy into getting into her house (legally) and getting Boo back.

I,am by far an expert on these matters, But If my ex done this to me I would be right round there to get the cat back. unless she had a couple of psycho Brothers just out of jail .

Hope you get the wee dude back mate. Good luck.


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## BSH (Jul 28, 2010)

I have skimmed over the many replies you have had, some good advice, some very unsound advice that could get you in trouble if you followed it!

I do appreciate this is very difficult for you and do not want to come across as critical but have a few points to add. Overall this thread could go on for many more pages and not come up with an appropriate course of action for you. In your shoes I would run the case past a solicitor.

My thoughts:
1. Your ex lived with you for 10 years, so returning the day after leaving you to collect possessions seems entirely reasonable, no one could take 10 years worth of belongings all at once surely? Taking the cat without discussing with you does not sound reasonable I admit but if she truly sees Boo as hers, then in her mind it may be.
2. From what has been said so far, almost all documentation, registration and costs relating to Boo seem to be in her name. This does not seem to help your case overall.
3. The precedent of the MPs wife stealing her husbands lovers cat is a completely different situation and does not set any precedent for your case.
4. Sharing Boo between you, like you would for child custody visits, sounds unworkable for a cat and is not in the cats interests in my opinion.
5. Your friends statement at this stage, that he gave the cat to you and not your ex, will not hold water legally, unless you have written proof of this.

A difficult situation but unlikely a unique one and I suspect most solicitors will have encountered similar cases in the past involving cats & dogs, so I advise you go and see one and get some professional advice.

Hope you can work it all out for Boos sake.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

BSH said:


> I have skimmed over the many replies you have had, some good advice, some very unsound advice that could get you in trouble if you followed it!
> 
> I do appreciate this is very difficult for you and do not want to come across as critical but have a few points to add. Overall this thread could go on for many more pages and not come up with an appropriate course of action for you. In your shoes I would run the case past a solicitor.
> 
> ...


1) No, taking possessions wouldn't seem unreasonable, she did write me an email saying she was going to take furniture and some CDs and DVDs that she bought (and ended up taking most of mine) but said she would not take the cat, and then waited until I was out at work and took the cat. Emails to third parties show that she never had any intention of not taking the cat. That to me seems pretty unreasonable, and if I hadn't found out her address, she wouldn't have let me know it and given me access.

4) Yes. I agree. At first I was going to accept the situation, he seemed fairly relaxed and happy, but I am getting more and more concerned about his welfare as she is leaving him for long periods at a time. Its like when I say why are you leaving him, she says he is absolutely fine, so when I ask her about sharing him, it's always he's not well enough to travel, it can either be one thing or the other. Plus the drug use around the flat.

So, the only solution is for one of us to have him, she won't entertain that, so guess it would be up to a court to decide, the problem being, if they decide he stays with her, I could see her denying me access at all to him.

It's a difficult decision for sure. Will update after seeing solicitor.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

This, however, is interesting (from solicitors home page)

There is a common misconception that couples who live together as if married, enjoy the same legal rights as those who are married. The term "common law husband and wife" is often used in these circumstances.

However, the reality is quite different. When such a relationship ends, whether through separation or death, the couple will legally be treated as two unrelated individuals.

This means that each person takes out of the relationship only things that they brought into it. For example, money or assets acquired during the relationship will belong to the person responsible for acquiring them, regardless of whether the intention had been to share these assets during the relationship.


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## Cloudygirl (Jan 9, 2011)

saul1664 said:


> This, however, is interesting (from solicitors home page)
> 
> There is a common misconception that couples who live together as if married, enjoy the same legal rights as those who are married. The term "common law husband and wife" is often used in these circumstances.
> 
> ...


thats not strictly true. It's actually quite a complicated area of law and you'd need proper legal advice really.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

Was on their front page, admittedly it is a bit vague, but interesting. Have emailed CAB and two solicitors and meeting with the ex on Monday, so expect to have some sort of response by the end of the week.


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## Gratch (Aug 22, 2010)

Glad you have things in motion that won't get you arrested  Really hoping for you that you get your cat back. You clearly love it to go through this and I would be doing exactly the same, though my partner knows if we ever split the cats would be coming with me. I understand how you would let her register the cat under her name at the vet. Mine are under my name but the bills are payed by my partner. If he had been the one off on the day we took them for a check up, they would be under his name.


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## Sparkles87 (Aug 30, 2010)

Hello!
I've been following this thread and just want to say I hope things work out for you. 

I know in your anger it appears as though it is simple; he is your cat and not hers, but when you actually think about it I'm sure it was likely the case that he was shared while you and your ex cohabited. I only say this because I know that when I got William it was me that seen him at a week old, paid for him, collected him to bring him home, registered him in my name at the vets, and incidentally was actually told by my partner before getting him that he was 'mine' as he wasn't sold on the idea of getting a cat. I'm sure you know what's coming next; William is most definitely now 'ours' and rightly so. Of course if I'm honest I admit that if we were to split up I would, out of hurt, instantly pull the 'he's mine' card; I'm fairly certain this would be done through both panic at the thought of losing him and a natural human response of trying to upset whoever had upset me! Basically what I'm trying to say in my usual long-winded manner is that these things aren't always as cut and dry as we'd like them to be, or even as what we believe them to be. 

It must be a very tough time for both of you after such a long relationship so I don't think listing your ex's alleged questionable lifestyle choices is going to have much effect in relation to the situation with Boo. People react differently to things, that's just how it is. She doesn't appear to have done anything illegal as it stands at the moment and he also doesn't seem to be in direct danger. Although if you actually fear he is being neglected then of course that is an entirely different matter. 

If it is possible for you and she to work it out between the two of you then that would be ideal, but obviously I know that this may not be the case. Sharing him would be unworkable, I agree. That kind of situation is unsettling enough for a child never mind a cat. Whatever you decide to do whether it be taking a legal route or not, I hope it all works out well for the three of you. 

Good luck!
Sparkles
x


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## Lulus mum (Feb 14, 2011)

Ive read all this thread and feel so sorry for you-so many questions asked of you ,so many opinions.
Glad that you are using the C.A.B-I found them very helpful-I had something similar happen-where an old ladys cat was taken,without her permission and she asked me for help-so its not really your situation but I know how desperate you must feel.I too used solicitor,C.A.B,Police,etc.
I still have all the paperwork,showing what we did 

If you want me to PM you I will-just let me know 
Even though what happened in your case isnt the same it may help to have someone to talk to who has been through similar.I ended up quite exhausted and so frustrated .It wasnt even my cat so I know you must feel so much worse
Ive thought a lot about your situation and to my mind the important thing is the welfare of the cat.I dont know whether she really loves this cat -not convinced of that after what you have said-or whether she is doing this out of spite.

Can understand the posts which advise you just to go in and take the cat -thats what I was going to advise at first,also those who advocate talking to her and trying to persuade her-if she really had the cats best interest at heart she would give the cat back 
I think to go in and take the cat while you were not there was so cruel-I know if it were me Id rather my O.H took ANYTHING apart from our pets.
Good luck with your meeting-pleas let us know how you go on.
If you want to P.M me Id be very glad to speak to you-wont be offended if you dont-you have so much on your plate at the moment
Take care 
thinking of you
from Maureen


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

saul1664 said:


> Was on their front page, admittedly it is a bit vague, but interesting. Have emailed CAB and two solicitors and meeting with the ex on Monday, so expect to have some sort of response by the end of the week.


I think that is a very wise move.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

Reply from solicitor. Not good.

An animal can be considered an item that is owned in law and therefore something that a claim could be successfully made at Court. To do so you will need to demonstrate your legal ownership and why Boo should be returned to you. You have provided me with some information which could assist you. You will need to get evidence of the gift and thus sole ownership, evidence that you cared for the animal for example, that you have paid for it throughout its life and good reasons why it should be returned to you.

If the matter is not capable of being resolved amicably and Court proceedings are taken for example for a declaration of ownership and an order that Boo be returned, the matter is likely to be heard in what is known as the Small Claims Court where the general rule on recovery of costs is that each party bears their own i.e. the winner does not usually get their costs back from the loser.

If a claim were presented and the matter was contested, legal costs (should you instruct solicitors to act for you) are likely to reach in excess of £5,000 plus VAT and expenses. My hourly rate is £203.00 plus VAT. An alternative may be to invite her to mediation. I would refer you to our website Swindon Solicitors | Wiltshire Solicitors where there is information regarding alternative dispute resolution methods. The County Court does have a mediation service that could be employed.

I would be happy to assist you should you wish me to do so. I will however need to meet with you, take two forms of identification from you, picture driving licence/passport and a recent utility bill/bank statement. If you wish to arrange an appointment please do not hesitate to contact me on my direct dial below.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

Ex girlfriend is non-committal, ignores all emails, text messages and does not broach the cat in conversation, she denied telling me that we could share the cat (not that I think this is a good option) despite the fact I have it in writing. When I saw Boo on Monday, was only able to spend less than two hours with him as she wanted to go up to the pub.


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## Taylorbaby (Jan 10, 2009)

Sorry to hear that, I dont even know what to suggust, can you take her to small claims? Or do it online?

Do you have a recepit that the breeder gave you? Could you ask her for one? Then vet bills/food etc?

What a awful situation, am raelly sorry


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## gloworm*mushroom (Mar 4, 2011)

Taylorbaby said:


> Sorry to hear that, I dont even know what to suggust, can you take her to small claims? Or do it online?
> 
> Do you have a recepit that the breeder gave you? Could you ask her for one? Then vet bills/food etc?
> 
> What a awful situation, am raelly sorry


Saul1664 has stated a friend gave him to him (so no breeder receipt) and the cat is registered under the gf's name at the vet and the bills paid under her name unfortunately.

I think the best thing is to try to convince her to give up Boo, short of weeing all over her apartment and blaming the cat...


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## Taylorbaby (Jan 10, 2009)

gloworm*mushroom said:


> Saul1664 has stated a friend gave him to him (so no breeder receipt) and the cat is registered under the gf's name at the vet and the bills paid under her name unfortunately.
> 
> I think the best thing is to try to convince her to give up Boo, short of weeing all over her apartment and blaming the cat...


oh sorry only read the last post 

oh no cant even think of anything then, unless you just take the cat? but then if its under her name she could call the police?

dont know why anyone would do this unless its to hurt you


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## BSH (Jul 28, 2010)

Taylorbaby said:


> dont know why anyone would do this unless its to hurt you


Few people seem to see the situation from the other side...which a court will consider equally.

The ex-girlfriend lived with the cat for 10 years, paid for his vet bills and probably loves the cat as much as the OP does. We are not hearing her side of the argument. She may have taken the cat because she loves it and feels it would be better off with her perhaps?

Unless some mutual agreement is made between them than a small courst case seems the only way to resolve this difficult situation. Instructing a solicitor seems unnecessary if you can represent yourself?


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

BSH said:


> Few people seem to see the situation from the other side...which a court will consider equally.
> 
> The ex-girlfriend lived with the cat for 10 years, paid for his vet bills and probably loves the cat as much as the OP does. We are not hearing her side of the argument. She may have taken the cat because she loves it and feels it would be better off with her perhaps?


My thoughts exactly. Everyone is assuming the girlfriend has done this out of spite and to hurt the OP. None of us can know that because we do not know the girlfriend nor, as you say, have we heard her side.


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## Taylorbaby (Jan 10, 2009)

BSH said:


> Few people seem to see the situation from the other side...which a court will consider equally.
> 
> The ex-girlfriend lived with the cat for 10 years, paid for his vet bills and probably loves the cat as much as the OP does. We are not hearing her side of the argument. She may have taken the cat because she loves it and feels it would be better off with her perhaps?
> 
> Unless some mutual agreement is made between them than a small courst case seems the only way to resolve this difficult situation. Instructing a solicitor seems unnecessary if you can represent yourself?





Sacremist said:


> My thoughts exactly. Everyone is assuming the girlfriend has done this out of spite and to hurt the OP. None of us can know that because we do not know the girlfriend nor, as you say, have we heard her side.


no your right thats very true,


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## Guest (Mar 15, 2011)

Have just read this thread and just wanted to add something, (sorry if already been said) but if you went and took the cat back, how can she prove it was hers? etc, she doesn't have any paper work herself to say the cat is hers? Or will the police just see the vets bills and insurance bill in her name and say that is HER proof???


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

KathrynH said:


> Have just read this thread and just wanted to add something, (sorry if already been said) but if you went and took the cat back, how can she prove it was hers? etc, she doesn't have any paper work herself to say the cat is hers? Or will the police just see the vets bills and insurance bill in her name and say that is HER proof???


Yes, unfortunately for the OP, most of the vet bills are in her name so that is her proof. If he takes the cat back from her property, it will be considered theft and so he could be prosecuted. Whilst he says he has proof that the cat originally belonged to him because it was given by a friend, he hasn't said what this proof is, as far as I'm aware, but assume it must be something more concrete than his friend's word because someone's word is not proof but hearsay. If you go back and read through the thread, you will see that all this has been discussed.


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## Guest (Mar 15, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> Yes, unfortunately for the OP, most of the vet bills are in her name so that is her proof. If he takes the cat back from her property, it will be considered theft and so he could be prosecuted. Whilst he says he has proof that the cat originally belonged to him because it was given by a friend, he hasn't said what this proof is, as far as I'm aware, but assume it must be something more concrete than his friend's word because someone's word is not proof but hearsay. If you go back and read through the thread, you will see that all this has been discussed.


ok thanks, i did quickly read it but hadn't seen anyone actually ask the OP the question?

What a horrible situation to be in, and i do feel for the OP so much. But if he cant prove it i think he may be better to move on as it is just upsetting him more seeing the cat etc.

As far as the relationship with the ex you will never be able to MOVE on when you are going to visit the cat as having to see her too.

Please think about getting yourself another cat.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

KathrynH said:


> As far as the relationship with the ex you will never be able to MOVE on when you are going to visit the cat as having to see her too.
> 
> Please think about getting yourself another cat.


My thoughts exactly. The reason I suggested the OP consult a solicitor is because I feel he is fighting a losing battle and I thought a solicitor might be able to point this out more succinctly. I feel, from what has been said, that she has just as good a case, therefore, as much as both parties may love the cat, it would be best for the OP to move on and leave the cat where it is. I personally, do not believe that this woman, who has lived with the cat for ten years, registered the cat with a vet and paid for treatment, is a woman who would take a cat out of spite. That's just my opinion, though.


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## Guest (Mar 15, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> My thoughts exactly. The reason I suggested the OP consult a solicitor is because I feel he is fighting a losing battle and I thought a solicitor might be able to point this out mire succinctly. I feel, from what has been said, that she has just as good a case, therefore, as much as both parties may love the cat, it would be best for the OP to move on and leave the cat where it is. I personally, do not believe that this woman, who has lived with the cat for ten years, registered the cat with a vet and paid for treatment, is a woman who would a cat out of spite. That's just my opinion, though.


Yes totally agree, i also feel that the OP is just hanging onto the whole CAT situation as a way to be with the Ex, maybe he still loves her etc, his original post he sounds very bitter to be honest.

I hope he can move on and find happiness


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

KathrynH said:


> Yes totally agree, i also feel that the OP is just hanging onto the whole CAT situation as a way to be with the Ex, maybe he still loves her etc, his original post he sounds very bitter to be honest.
> 
> I hope he can move on and find happiness


I'm sorry to say that is what has concerned me when others suggested he just take the cat. I also felt the initial post sounded quite bitter. I was concerned the cat was being used as a pawn in a bitter feud between exes. Speaking hypothetically, suppose the cat has always belonged to the girlfriend and the OP was the embittered ex trying to find a way of hurting his ex girlfriend and not the victim as he would have us believe. We have only his word that he is the victim and that his girlfriend is the unfit, drug abusing thief she has been painted as. People encouraging him to take the cat, could be suggesting he do something a) criminal and b) cruel. By following a legal route, the courts will hear both sides of the argument so any decisions reached will be fair and the poor cat will not be used as a weapon.


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## Guest (Mar 15, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> I'm sorry to say that is what has concerned me when others suggested he just take the cat. I also felt the initial post sounded quite bitter. I was concerned the cat was being used as a pawn in a bitter feud between exes. Speaking hypothetically, suppose the cat has always belonged to the girlfriend and the OP was the embittered ex trying to find a way of hurting his ex girlfriend and not the victim as he would have us believe. We have only his word that he is the victim and that his girlfriend is the unfit, drug abusing thief she has been painted as. People encouraging him to take the cat, could be suggesting he do something a) criminal and b) cruel. By following a legal route, the courts will hear both sides of the argument so any decisions reached will be fair and the poor cat will not be used as a weapon.


Totally agree, i personally wouldn't waste all my money on courts and solicitors and leave the cat where it is and move on with my life. 

To be honest i have no idea why they are SHARING a cat and she is giving him MAINTENANCE time with the cat!! So confusing to me.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

KathrynH said:


> Totally agree, i personally wouldn't waste all my money on courts and solicitors and leave the cat where it is and move on with my life.
> 
> To be honest i have no idea why they are SHARING a cat and she is giving him MAINTENANCE time with the cat!! So confusing to me.


No, nor would I. It's best to just move on with your life and like you said before: get another cat.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

Wow. Just get another cat, and forget the old one I have looked after for ten years.


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## Cloudygirl (Jan 9, 2011)

how much are you prepared to pay?

Pretty certain your money will be on a lost cause if you go to court. But it's up to you. It's not strictly fair but thats life. Courts won't order visitation arrangements over animals like will children.


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## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

Sorry if I've missed anything in the thread, but up to now what I haven't noticed from the OP is 'what is best for the cat' in terms of moving the cat around, sharing access, living in one home, being carted off elsewhere etc? 

In the OP's position, I would be devastated, but ultimately I would want to do what is best for my cat. Moving the cat around from pillar to post is not good for cats at all. Cats love familiar surroundings, they need to feel secure, some don't cope well with change and can become ill, a lot of them don't travel well, they love their own space and are territorial. I know you can argue your ex took the cat out of its familiar surroundings, but do you really want to expose your cat to all of that again  Surely by now your cat will be used to your ex's new place, be familiar with those surroundings and to remove him from that could be detrimental to his health and/or cause behavioural problems.

If you have serious concerns about the welfare of your cat, contact the RSPCA.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

I'm sorry but everything I've read here sounds like a woman who loves Boo and wants you out of her life. The other person's e-mails just sound like a friend advising her on legalities, but maybe I'm reading them wrong. I don't see how any of them make this woman out to be a spiteful, vindictive drug addict who is unfit to care for a cat. She's clearly continuing to take Boo to the vet and care for him. I stand by what I have said earlier. You are two people who both love the same cat, both have cared for the cat and so ethically belongs to both of you. However, you have separated. You cannot both have the cat, one of you is going to lose him. You can both prove ownership in some way, therefore, the person who has the cat, your ex, has in a way, already won. I believe you are fighting a losing battle but if you really want to settle it once and for all: take her to court, but the court will not necessarily take your side. One way or another, one of you will have to forget the cat. Sadly, in my opinion, I fear that is going to be you so, yes, personally, if I were you, I would accept the situation and get another cat. I'm sorry if what I have said has upset you, that is really not my intention, I'm merely trying to get you to face the reality of your situation.


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## gloworm*mushroom (Mar 4, 2011)

Can I ask why you have emails from your girlfriends lover to her ( I assume) They clearly are not to you as they talk about you in third person.



Her first email to you clearly shows that she considers Boo as much hers as yours, and loves him very much.


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## Amin (Jul 31, 2009)

I still say, Go and get the cat back. Its Yours, Why waste your time and money with courts etc etc. The woman is obviously taking the p**s with you here. 

Sorry if I sound a bit Rash here, and some will and have argued that the courts/solicitors is the right way, But come on, Sometimes you've just got to Grab the Bull by the horns. Live,s Tough Eh.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Amin said:


> I still say, Go and get the cat back. Its Yours, Why waste your time and money with courts etc etc. The woman is obviously taking the p**s with you here.
> 
> Sorry if I sound a bit Rash here, and some will and have argued that the courts/solicitors is the right way, But come on, Sometimes you've just got to Grab the Bull by the horns. Live,s Tough Eh.


That's easy to say when you aren't the one who will be prosecuted for theft.


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## gloworm*mushroom (Mar 4, 2011)

Amin said:


> I still say, Go and get the cat back. Its Yours, Why waste your time and money with courts etc etc. The woman is obviously taking the p**s with you here.
> 
> Sorry if I sound a bit Rash here, and some will and have argued that the courts/solicitors is the right way, But come on, Sometimes you've just got to Grab the Bull by the horns. Live,s Tough Eh.


But its NOT his. You are seeing this totally one sided. I dont know your current situation, but how would you feel if someone you had lived with for 10 years took away one of your pets, because they decided that because they 'saw him first' or 'wanted to get a cat more than you' meant that he was his.

You have no idea how the girlfriend feels about the cat. She clearly sees the cat as hers and we only have the OP's word that it was given to him and only him.

If someone came onto the forums tomorrow, and said 'my ex came into my house and took my cat, it is my cat, and I want it back, help' would you tell them also to go and get the cat back as it is theirs? That could quite easily be the OP's ex...

In the emails I see nothing that indicate she is 'taking the ****'
To be honest I am more concerned the OP has access to emails that were clearly not intended for him.


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## Sparkles87 (Aug 30, 2010)

I don't want to be reading other peoples personal emails, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I know that sounds a bit forward, but we really don't need to be given a peep into her personal affairs. I'm not sure she would be entirely happy if she knew you were posting these on the internet -I know I probably wouldn't be too enamoured by it. 

It is a difficult situation and giving us such details isn't going to change anything; we still only have what you say to go by. She doesn't seem to have done anything illegal (even the mention of 'weed' or 'green' isn't very likely to get her into bother despite it being an illegal substance - of course this is purely on the assumption that she isn't possessing large quantities or selling it to others). I get what you mean about thinking of getting another cat right now, you've had Boo for a long time so that is understandable. 

I'm not saying you should give up, but legally I don't think that you have a leg to stand on thus far, so can only see this being settled personally between you and your ex. This is just my opinion (of course) and seeing as it isn't me in the situation I obviously don't know half as much about the reality of it as you do. 

I really send you my sympathies if it doesn't work out in your favour. As I said previously, it must be a difficult time for you both, and for Boo. 

Sparkles


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## Amin (Jul 31, 2009)

gloworm*mushroom said:


> But its NOT his. You are seeing this totally one sided. I dont know your current situation, but how would you feel if someone you had lived with for 10 years took away one of your pets, because they decided that because they 'saw him first' or 'wanted to get a cat more than you' meant that he was his.
> 
> You have no idea how the girlfriend feels about the cat. She clearly sees the cat as hers and we only have the OP's word that it was given to him and only him.
> 
> ...


Point Taken there luv, But OP will know if the cat was given to him, for sure, and if that's the case then its his cat. Hope he gets it back and a Happy ending


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Amin said:


> Point Taken there luv, But OP will know if the cat was given to him, for sure, and if that's the case then its his cat. Hope he gets it back and a Happy ending


I hope the person who truly has the cat's best interests at heart is the one who gets him.


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## Amin (Jul 31, 2009)

Sacremist said:


> That's easy to say when you aren't the one who will be prosecuted for theft.


Doubt if anyone would get done for theft here. I,am only going by OP,s story, and right now I only wish for Boo, a Happy peaceful life whoever he,s with.


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## gloworm*mushroom (Mar 4, 2011)

Amin said:


> Doubt if anyone would get done for theft here. I,am only going by OP,s story, and right now I only wish for Boo, a Happy peaceful life whoever he,s with.


I believe the OP has consulted with the police and they confirmed it would be theft if the OP entered his ex's property without permission and removed the cat. The reason it is not theft that the ex took Boo from the OP is that she entered their shared property to remove things.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

OP has been told already by the police that if he takes the cat it constitutes theft because he has never lived at the address where his ex and the cat now reside. He told us as much earlier in the thread. If I was his ex, I would report him to the police if he removed anything from my home: cat or private e-mails.

You only have to read the e-mails he posted to see his ex is seeking legal advice so you can bet your bottom dollar, if he breaks the law, she'll string him up by the balls.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

I will send a post tomorrow explaining in further detail about Boo and why I don't want to give him up, but need to make a few things straight.

Can understand why it is uncomfortable reading those emails. The explanation to why I have them is simple, we had a shared email account, when she decided to have an affair, she forgot this and the emails came directly in to me which is how I found out. Obviously they are truncated, so they don't tell the full story. She knows I have them, and I told her to use a different account and to change her password. This, in the broadest sense, is not really relevant to the situation.

If this was an attempt (as has been suggested) to use the cat as a bargaining tool, why would I be bothering posting on a forum, why wouldn't I have just gone and taken Boo, but no, I have tried to find an amicable solution, the sharing is her idea, not mine, I only have the cats welfare in heart, which is why I have looked for a solution or help from someone who has been through the same experience.

And what if Boo dies, alone, as she is out for long periods of time (the vet said he could die at any time), or god forbid he ingests some drugs. What are you going to tell me then? I should have intervened? I can see how untenable my situation is, I just hope it doesn't happen to anyone else.


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## Gratch (Aug 22, 2010)

I think saying 'get another cat' is quite harsh really. Unless you view animals as objects, it's daft to think that OP should simply forget about the situation and move on. Yes I know there are two sides to it but obviously they love this pet dearly to contemplate spending thousands at a chance of getting a pet that could pass at any time back. Saul, I again wish you the best of luck, I would not back down from my animals until I exhausted every realistic and legal avenue.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

I just want you to understand that no-one is attacking you here, there is no reason for you to feel battered. I, for one, am only trying to play devil's advocate. In my opinion, simply just telling you what you want to hear will not help you. It is important for you to recognise that the situation you are in can be viewed from a perspective other than your own. You may not like this other perspective but if you are going to win then knowledge is power. Forewarned is forearmed as they say. The reality of this situation is that no-one on this forum has enough knowledge to be able to advise you appropriately. We have only what you tell us to work with and as it has been pointed out, we have only your side of the argument.

You ask how would we feel if Boo died alone. How do we know this could happen, when we have only you giving us this information? For all we know, you might leave Boo alone for long hours as well. Your ex may not be leaving him for long hours. How do we know if she is taking drugs, again we have only your word for it. I've said before, I'm not calling you a liar, I am simply saying that we have no way of knowing the truth, so to ask us how we would feel makes me think you are trying to use emotional blackmail to get us on your side. This is very manipulative of you and if you are trying to manipulate the people on this forum through emotional blackmail what else are you saying to us and your ex in order to achieve your goals.

The reality is that if you told me Boo had died alone whilst in the care of your ex, I would feel nothing, why? Not because I am heartless but because I would doubt the truth of it.

Up to now nothing you have said or shown has convinced me that you have any more right to Boo than your ex. In fact, quite the opposite, what I've seen are e-mails which show your ex lives Boo very much. 

However, if you have more to show tomorrow and what you produce is more convincing then I will hold my hands up and say fair enough. I'm just sorry that you are interpreting our perspective on this situation in a negative light as if we are attacking you personally, rather than what it actually is, which is a different point of view.


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## Guest (Mar 16, 2011)

thanks for sharing your private emails with us, but cannot be bothered to read them to be honest as i still believe that it is the CAT that is important here not a WAR between you two!!

It is a CAT not a firggin child!!!  and think you need to remember this. 

I have no doubt you love the cat, but please move on with yourself, it is clearly obvious that you are just hanging onto this excuse because she has a new fella etc and you dont like this.


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## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

KathrynH said:


> thanks for sharing your private emails with us, but cannot be bothered to read them to be honest as i still believe that it is the CAT that is important here not a WAR between you two!!
> 
> *It is a CAT not a firggin child!!!*  and think you need to remember this.
> 
> I have no doubt you love the cat, but please move on with yourself, it is clearly obvious that you are just hanging onto this excuse because she has a new fella etc and you dont like this.


As I stated in my earlier post, the cat's best interests appear to have been overlooked 

As for the cat not being a child, it's distasteful, whichever way you look at it. Bitterness and resentment shine through in this thread, and now with the airing of 'dirty laundry' in the form of personal emails. It's just not right, cat, child or even a stuffed toy.

OP - you've had advice on here, it's time to act on it. The 'he said, she said' personal emails could have been altered by you anyway, so we're not getting a balanced view. Nothing can be resolved on here. I will reiterate, if you feel 'your' cat to be in danger, contact the RSPCA. But, you need to look to yourself and ask who are you actually doing this for, you or 'your' cat??


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## Guest (Mar 16, 2011)

dougal22 said:


> As I stated in my earlier post, the cat's best interests appear to have been overlooked
> 
> As for the cat not being a child, it's distasteful, whichever way you look at it. Bitterness and resentment shine through in this thread, and now with the airing of 'dirty laundry' in the form of personal emails. It's just not right, cat, child or even a stuffed toy.
> 
> OP - you've had advice on here, it's time to act on it. The 'he said, she said' personal emails could have been altered by you anyway, so we're not getting a balanced view. Nothing can be resolved on here. I will reiterate, if you feel 'your' cat to be in danger, contact the RSPCA. But, you need to look to yourself and ask who are you actually doing this for, you or 'your' cat??


Yes i totally agree


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Gratch said:


> I think saying 'get another cat' is quite harsh really. Unless you view animals as objects, it's daft to think that OP should simply forget about the situation and move on. Yes I know there are two sides to it but obviously they love this pet dearly to contemplate spending thousands at a chance of getting a pet that could pass at any time back. Saul, I again wish you the best of luck, I would not back down from my animals until I exhausted every realistic and legal avenue.


The only reason I say to get another cat is to try and fill the void left by the loss of Boo. Having another cat on which he can focus his attention can help to ease the loss suffered because you have less time to grieve. Another cat could never replace Boo but it could bring new love and new joy.


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## Guest (Mar 16, 2011)

Gratch said:


> I think saying 'get another cat' is quite harsh really. Unless you view animals as objects, it's daft to think that OP should simply forget about the situation and move on. Yes I know there are two sides to it but obviously they love this pet dearly to contemplate spending thousands at a chance of getting a pet that could pass at any time back. Saul, I again wish you the best of luck, I would not back down from my animals until I exhausted every realistic and legal avenue.


I understand that he loved the cat and can totally sympathise with his heartbreak at losing his cat but as there is not going to be an amicable outcome i think that is the only option left to him.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

KathrynH said:


> I understand that he loved the cat and can totally sympathise with his heartbreak at losing his cat but as there is not going to be an amicable outcome i think that is the only option left to him.


Yes, my point too. There is no sense in fighting a fight if all the evidence suggests you are going to lose. It's important he moves on with his life and getting another cat to love and care for is part of moving on and could bring some comfort.


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## Lulus mum (Feb 14, 2011)

Kathryn H
Many years ago I fought on behalf of someone else to get a cat back ,which had been taken without her permission-exploring every avenue
-C.A.B ,newspapers ,local M.P,solicitors,Age Concern,Police etc ,etc etc,

It would have been so easy for me to say to her-its a cat,not a frigging child or to tell her to move on with herself,but to see the effect on this person was heartbreaking.

Despite all my efforts over many months and the evidence and support I had,we were blocked all the way .To know that you are in the right and unable to do anything is so awful.The cat was never returned -our only option left was to go to court -and there was no way she could afford that,plus the outcome wasnt guaranteed
Could I have said to her ,part way through this fight to get her cat back-I think we should stop now as your cat will be settled in her new home.Never.

I would like to see YOUR reaction if this had happened to you - you would have everything in your power to get your cat back



If as you state,Saul is 





using the cat as an excuse -why would he even bother coming on here-after all he didnt need our approval.
If he is just insanely jealous of his ex having a new fella in her life ,why would he not just go straight away and snatch the cat back,come back,change the locks etc-job done

No he tried to do it the right lawful way by going to the Police first for advice,then asking for advice on here.


I wonder how many of you reading this would have acted if you had been in his position-you would do everything in your power to get the cat back


Dougal 22
Re. your advice to Saul contact the R.S P.C.A -
dear God,you only have to read on here the many horror stories of animals being ,beaten,cruelly confined,not exercised ,never having any human interaction etc etc and the R.S.P.C.A do absolutely sod all
Do you really think they would act on Sauls behalf in this situation-(well they might if they were being filmed for a T.V programme)

Dont want to sound nasty at all-its just that having experienced something of this I know how traumatic it is.
I suppose it all boils down to whether you believe Saul or not and its clear that many of you doubt his word,
Contrary to what many of you think -I believe he has the cats best interests at heart-
Advising him to get another cat is not really on!!!Would you in his position?
No you wouldnt.

Hope somehow this can have a happy ending for everyone ESPECIALLY the cat
Maureen


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Lulus mum said:


> Kathryn H
> Many years ago I fought on behalf of someone else to get a cat back ,which had been taken without her permission-exploring every avenue
> -C.A.B ,newspapers ,local M.P,solicitors,Age Concern,Police etc ,etc etc,
> 
> ...


Yes, but what you, as many others, have failed to take into account is that we do not have the whole facts. Maybe in the situation in which you tried to help your friend, you did have the whole facts. Everything Saul has told us so far just doesn't add up, not in my opinion, and on more than one occasion, I have felt like he just wants to manipulate me into feeling sorry for him by using emotional blackmail and guilt-tripping me into submission. I don't respond well to these tactics. I stand by the fact that without knowing his ex's side, we are not in any position to assume that what he is telling us is absolute fact.

Supposing you are wrong and this cat actually does belong to his ex? What if she really loves this cat more than he does? What if he's digging for information to help him nab the cat so he can use it as a weapon against his ex to hurt her? Have you even considered this as a possibility? I'm not saying its true or untrue, just that WE DO NOT KNOW!

He has been offered a lot of very sound advice. It is now up to him to follow that advice through the proper channels with people who will be aware of ALL the facts, BOTH SIDES of the story and hopefully a satisfactory resolution will be reached.

As far as getting another cat is concerned, that is up to the individual. We are all different and not all holier than thou! I believe and I stand by my belief that getting another cat will help him to get over this.


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## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

Lulus mum said:


> Kathryn H
> Many years ago I fought on behalf of someone else to get a cat back ,which had been taken without her permission-exploring every avenue
> -C.A.B ,newspapers ,local M.P,solicitors,Age Concern,Police etc ,etc etc,
> 
> ...


Fortunately, my experiences with the RSPCA have been positive ones, but if your experience is negative, I accept your point.

I didn't advise the OP to get another cat 

We only have one side of the story on this thread and some of the things I've read aren't right re: posting of personal emails that weren't meant for the OP.

And, I firmly stand by my original point - what's in the best interests of the cat appears to be being overlooked


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## Guest (Mar 16, 2011)

Lulus mum said:


> Kathryn H
> Many years ago I fought on behalf of someone else to get a cat back ,which had been taken without her permission-exploring every avenue
> -C.A.B ,newspapers ,local M.P,solicitors,Age Concern,Police etc ,etc etc,
> 
> ...


Thanks for your opinion on this thread but believe me when i tell you that NO i would not go to court and spend all my money on a court battle, solicitors etc on a CAT!!!

I am not saying people shouldn't do it if they feel that strongly, but the OP has no evidence to say the cat is HIS so it is stacked against him unfortunately, if he had something, paperwork etc that could help him i would say yes go for it. He hasn't, he has nothing.

He is going to visit this cat for a few hours when his ex lets him visit, i have never heard of this before in my life. All this is doing is confusing everyone!!

Is his ex going to let him carry on doing this when she is settled living with a new man or even married with a new man. NO SHE ISNT!! 

So by currently visiting this cat it is just drawing out the whole breaking up process and going to make everyone a whole lot worse when SHE does say NO MORE to his weekly or monthly visits.

This is why i have said "move on" "get another cat" etc, yes it may sound flippant because i do speak my mind, some people don't like it, but thats the way i am. What i mean by this is i don't want the OP to suffer anymore because the outcome is not going to be a good one i'm afraid. Unless she has a change of heart and just gives the cat back to him, but i cant see it.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

I'm sorry I haven't posted what I was going to post. What I am about to post is fairly long, so please take the time to read it, it took over two hours to write and was very emotional. Does it make any decision over Boo clearer. No, I guess it doesn't but may enable people to see where I am coming from.


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## saul1664 (Mar 7, 2011)

*Boo, life and the real meaning of love*

I remember the conversation I had prior to getting Boo. I was working on my community placement in Camden, and was working with Emma. She was a little bit ditzy but fun to work with. She told me that her cat had given birth to 6 kittens and would I like one. I was living in a flat at the time, but it did have a garden, so I said I would talk it through with my girlfriend. She wasn't overly keen, but we eventually decided to take him, the last cat I had was a family cat, and he disappeared without trace. He was about 16 years old, not unwell, and moody enough not to be taken easily, but one day he was gone and never came back, the last cat before that was Mischa, a docile Siamese that succumbed to cancer at a relatively young age.

Sometimes, it takes you a while to get over the loss of a cat, and replacing your pet does not always work out well, but it just felt like the right time. So, I agreed to pick him up. When I met him, he was tiny and scrawny, and looked dwarfed by the huge cat basket that he now only just about fits in. Apparently the runt of the litter, bullied off mothers milk by the rest of the brood. Emma wanted to sell the other cats for £100 a piece but gave him to me. I didn't find out if she sold any more, but she lost two kittens when she left the back door open, and they ran away, scooting over her garden fence never to be seen again, a bit like my rabbit who was released into the wild by my parents when he got too big, he gave one quick look of reproach before scampering away, me being too young to know he had no real chance of surviving in the wild.

And sometimes you find a name for your pet that just fits. He had a habit of jumping sideways as a kitten, hiding behind doors, then bounding out to climb up my leg, then running off again. So Boo seemed right and the older he got, the more he grew into his name. And I don't know whether it was the fact that he wasn't nurtured by his mother, or possibly that he got left alone for periods at a time when he was a kitten, but he became very people attached, always looking to jump up onto my lap and would stay there for hours on an end, and would more than often share the bed as well, curling up where there was a divot between my legs and staying there until morning, until he woke me with several well timed paw splats to my head to tell me it was either feeding time, or that he just wanted me up, so he could sit with me in the living room.

And he rapidly grew into a big alpha male, but retaining some of the timidness and nervousness he had as a kitten. Then my girlfriend decided she didn't want to live in London anymore and went up to live in Wiltshire to be near her parents, occasionally visiting me and Boo at weekends. By now, I'd just qualified as a staff nurse and was working in the community, but it wasn't going well, so I made a life changing decision to leave my job (without having another one), to be closer to my girlfriend. I was able to stay with a friend, Boo was unable to stay with me so he stayed with my girlfriends parents, they agreed he could stay there for a short period of time, but as they did not get on with me, they would not let me see him, so began my first period of separation from Boo.

After about six months, I was able to find a private rental, and me, Boo and my girlfriend were reunited. The worry I had was that Boo wouldn't recognise me, but once he got over his change of scenery, it took him about a day, bounding back out of the bedroom straight back up onto my lap again. Such a Daddy's Boy, my girlfriend said when she came home from work, and I guess she is right, he always seemed to come over to me, to sit on top of the computer, or to sit on a pile of papers if I was working. And even when we moved into separate rooms when the relationship went wrong, 9 out of 10 times he chose to sleep with me.
And I remember when he got sick and I thought he was certain to die. Cats, for whatever reason, tend to hide illness very well, and there were no signs before. Despite being a house cat, he was always very active and liked to play. This day, when I got home, at first I thought he had picked up a cold as he was sneezing, which was odd as he had never been ill before, he had a penchant for vomiting the worlds largest furballs and occasionally got a bit grumpy if he wanted to bring one up. But his behaviour was odd, he was hiding under a chair, trying to shrink away from contact, and mewling when being picked up. He wouldn't eat and drink, and hadn't urinated, though he wanted to go. It was evident that something was wrong. Seriously wrong.

I especially remember the vets, because she was seriously blunt, which isn't actually a bad quality. His breathing had deteriorated so she put Boo on oxygen, told me that he had a blood clot near his heart, and that he had a incurable cardiac condition, apparently very common in Persian cats. She gave him an injection to take some fluid off his back legs, and to help him go to the toilet, prescribed aspirin to try and thin out the blood clot, and told me to take him home over the weekend as that was where he was going to be most comfortable. She didn't utter the words, Boo is going to die, but she meant it, if the veiled words didn't convey it, the look on her face did. Being a nurse didn't help, it's what you call the conversation of death, I've had to give it enough times. Things looked bleak.

I wasn't sure that Boo would last the day, never mind the weekend. He wouldn't eat or drink, he still wouldn't urinate. And he kept hiding himself under the bed. So I stayed in the bedroom for 72 hours, everytime he went under the bed I picked him up, stroking him and feeding him yoghurt off my finger, the only thing he would take, when drifting off to sleep, horribly waking up an hour later, looking under the bed expecting to find him dead, picking him up and undertaking the whole process again. I was 90% sure he was going to die. But he didn't, he made it through the weekend, and the vet was almost flabbergasted that I brought a very sick but alive cat to her on the Monday, again she reiterated that there was nothing I could do, he could go on atenalol (to slow his heart rate down), and stay on aspirin (to help prevent blood clots), but he could go at any time and that his life span would be significantly reduced.

But slowly, he got better, he passed his 6 month check, then his next one. He seemed, however, to get even more dependent, and was always on my lap or on my bed, and gets tired a lot, and seemed distinctly unimpressed that his food was being rationed as the vet said that might help his condition. And, as my relationship with my girlfriend deteriorated, I came home one day after being at work to find an empty flat and Boo gone.

And now I occasionally see him, for maybe two hours at a time every fortnight, and though he seems well enough, his behaviour has changed, he's a lot more moody, and he bites and scratches more than he used to, he's always liked the rough side of play and hunting, I feel there is more to it than that, it's almost as if he is questioning why I left him again.

And whilst the ex-girlfriend now chases the white picket fence ideal, where financial rewards are more important and material well-being has been confused with happiness. Real love was nurturing Boo through his sickness, though it appeared futile at the time, his life was saved through love, its the guilt about leaving him the first time and for the same thing to happen again, its why he is not just a cat, how he can't just be simply replaced by another one, its the reason why money is irrelevant, it's the reason why I find myself in tears most nights, and it's the reason when I look into those eyes, that I see him asking me to take him away, to be like it used to be. And I miss him so much, I miss him snuggling up to me, and I wish I knew the right thing to do. But I don't. And I hope I don't make the wrong one. Because if I do, those questioning eyes looking into mine will never forgive. Ever.


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