# Not sure how I'm going to react ...



## Oscar12 (Aug 26, 2012)

My family and I have been putting off getting our GSD PTS for the past year. She has severe hip dysplacia among other things. My estranged mother picked her and even though my dad realised this was a shady puppy farm type setup she was determined to leave with a puppy, but when she set up home with her new man she left Tia with us because 'she wasn't allowed dogs in her rented home'. 
Last November was the start of the worst. She had been hobbly, springy on her back legs and general unstable but had her good days and bad. One night she started yelping in pain and we soon realised she had dislocated her leg.. this was the most unpleasant experience I've ever came across with a her in all her days.
The vet prescribed Loxicom(?) and advised that Tramadol would be the next step to relieve any pain before the inevitable.
During the summer my boyfriend got a Patterjack puppy and Tia was a changed dog ! Bounding around and acting like a big baby girl again ! Still, good days and bad. I now have a Border Terrier puppy aswell who Tia hasn't taken to so much.
Tomorrow is Tia's last day with us.. the appointment has been made and I don't know what I'm going to be like. Im pretty prepared for what's going to happen but I feel extremely guilty that once Tia is gone I'm going straight to pick up the two puppies. 
When your older dog passes away, what are you like going home to the rest of the animal family ? 
I've got this feeling that I'll see the pups little face's and totally loose my composure !!


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Hello and welcome.

What you do for Tia tomorrow, you are doing out of love for her, if nothing else can be done to keep her from extreme pain.

At our vets, you can stay and hold your pet if you want, as they are PTS, or they will take them out the back if you find this too upsetting. We always stay with ours. It has always been very peaceful - we hold, the vet injects, and all you feel is your pet totally relaxing in your arms. And that is that, barring the vet checking that the heart has indeed stopped. We are then given as much time as we want to say a final goodbye, and no one expects you to pay on the day. We mostly have bunnies, who we bury at home, but we did have the cat cremated, and had to go back a week later for the ashes. Our vet also follows upo with a letter of condolence.

No one knows how they are going to react at the vets - and the vets will have seen all types of reactions. If you manage to hold on until you get home, I think you are right - it will all come out when you see the pups. That's OK. There will be an empty space that no one but Tia can fill, but the puppies will be a great comfort to you. Make sure you take some photos to remember her by.


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## Oscar12 (Aug 26, 2012)

Thank you for your lovely reply .. if anything it's when people are nice that I tend to fall apart ! 
We had a GSD before who also succumbed to HD but I was very young. I remember my dad coming home one day in his work lorry to take her away and I fell to pieces into my toasted cheese. 
I've had to make the decision before with my cat Smokey who had liver failure and there was really nothing else they could do, it was a there and then PTS, no thinking about, no going home for a few days to let her go naturally, it was the best thing for her. Unfortunatly I was a mess so couldn't stay with her when she got the injection but I did have some time for cuddles first. 
I plan on staying with Tia, she doesn't have a soft spot for our vet at all so its probably the most stressfree way for her to go. 
We've got lot's of photo's and video snippits to remember her by, plus a few holes in the wall to remember her by


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## delca1 (Oct 29, 2011)

Poor Tia, a sad day but for the best. Having two pups will be a good distraction, they won't replace Tia but will help fill the hole she leaves in your life xx


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## Oscar12 (Aug 26, 2012)

I honestly don't think there is another dog in the world like Tia lol. She is such a ditz !! 
She's always just plodded along in the world, never been an overly bad dog or destructive ... just a big softie 
In the summer we would have a fire pit in the garden for toasting marshmallows and keeping us warm in the chilly Scottish summer weather and no matter how much we tried, Tia would be chasing the embers and trying with all her might to set herself on fire. 
LOVED the garden hose, I've never seen a dog react to seeing one this way. She would jump about like crazy and whine constantly until she got a good soaking!! Also went that way when you tried to fill up buckets in the sink 
Thanks delca1


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying. You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today. Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "Good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out... then come home to be with me.


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

I will be thinking of you tomorrow. This is one of the worse things about having a pet.
Making that decision
Because we love them so much we know we have to do it.
How you will react tomorrow does not matter. Breaking down whether it be with the vet, friends or family will not matter. 
When I had to have Yazmin my cat pts in January I was in such a state from crying as I had also just had my other cat pts to sleep the previous night:cryin:
My vet was wonderful and told me I could pay when I was ready. They also sorted out all the cremation arrangements for me as well.
I am sure like my Yazmin, Tia will go to sleep very quick while in your arms.
Your puppies will help you through your bereavement by keeping you busy and wanting love and cuddles.
Also if you are having her cremated, I found that when you get them back you will feel that she is back home with you. It's also nice to find a special place to put her, along with a nice photo of her.
Hugs to you x


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## 1336252 (Sep 22, 2012)

I will be thinking of you tomorrow, I really don't know what else to say  It's such a terrible thing to have to go through.

I recently just lost my boy chichi. I had the most terrible experience with my vets. They were not sympathetic at all. I know your vets will be wonderful. 

We're always here for a chat if you want to tell us how it went and how you feel. x


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## bornunder (May 4, 2012)

Hi, so sorry to hear about Tia, I understand how hard it is to make that decision. I had to have my little Mini Dachshund Frank put to sleep 12 weeks ago tomorrow and I still cry daily for him. 

He was only 3 and I feel so robbed but he had Sarcoma and was no longer responding to treatment, he fought bravely and lasted longer than most dogs do to stay with me 6 more months. He could have gone on longer but I couldn't bear to see him in pain anymore, the tumour was putting pressure on his nerves and causing problems with his eyes and coordination. 

When he was put to sleep I stayed with him and we had it done at home. The vet and nurse were so kind and I held him till the very end after giving him a lovely last day where he got to do all his favorite things like ride in the car and roll in some long grass, eat lots of cheese and feel the sunshine on his coat. He was in too much pain for cuddles but I laid on the floor with him under the skylight for hours and stroked him whilst we waited for the vets. he still wagged his tail when I spoke to him. 

He really did just go to sleep with his eyes open. The hardest thing I remember was because he was my little shadow and followed me everywhere was when I got up to walk to the door to let the vet back in as he had waited outside for a while and Frank was laid on the living room floor where he had been put to sleep. I turned round still expecting him to be behind me for some reason. It was the first time ever he didn't follow me when I got up to cross the room and heart just broke then. It didn't feel real until that point. 

We chose a private cremation rather than ask the vets to do it because I couldn't bear the thought of my little man being kept in a cold store waiting for collection and not knowing where he was so I drove him to a crematorium myself that we chose and they gave him a wonderful little service and everything was done really respectfully and kindly. They even agreed a time to start the cremation and suggested we light a candle at home. Despite being one of those 4 hour burn candles it burnt through the night and all day the following day, it only went a few moments after we brought his ashes home.

It's the hardest thing I've ever, ever done and I've been through it with guilt blaming myself for everything going back to when he was a little puppy trying to work out what I did wrong. I've never been a negative person before but losing him triggered depression and after weeks of bleak feelings, losing over a stone because I couldn't eat and losing all interest in life I went to the doctor who perscribed me a very low dose of anti depressants and helped me with counselling. I felt silly going to the doctor for that reason when people are really sick but it was so bad and my boyfriend eventually coaxed me into it.

My partner took me to see some mini dashie puppies to try and cheer me up and I volunteered at rescue centres, I also wrote a report for the Dachshund breed council which was published to all their members to raise awareness of the signs of Sarcoma in dogs. 

Now we've welcomed a new puppy into our home and although he will never be Frank the difference in his personality has made it easy to love him for who he is rather than drawing comparisons and he's slowly helping fix my poorly heart. 

I know how hard this is going to be, please pm me if you would like to talk. xx


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## delca1 (Oct 29, 2011)

Colliebarmy said:


> I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
> I could see that you were crying. You found it hard to sleep.
> 
> I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
> ...


Beautiful, made my eyes go all leaky!


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## 2dogs (Oct 6, 2012)

sorry to hear about your dog, I have lost 3 in just 13 months, one died in her sleep, one had a stroke and had to have her pts, and the other was pts just at the beginning of sept as she got ill, I know what your going through, your doing whats best for your girl x


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## Oscar12 (Aug 26, 2012)

Thank you everyone or your messages, struggled to read them all (had to hide in the loo)  I really appreciate everyone who's shared there last moments too, it must be hard to bring it back up to comfort others.
I went to see her today, Tia stays at my dads house and recently I've taken up residence at the boyfriends, and as soon as I was in the door she tried to get over but her back legs just crumbled.... And so did I. I spent as long as I could with her sitting out the back door. She just stared at me with her big chocolate eyes as if to say I'm done. 
Tomorrow when I finish work she will have all my attention before we have to go.
All I can do is give her some hugs and her favourite human foods.. She can't go a lovely walk through the crispy leaves or run about with the puppies, I can't even take some of the pain away. 
I can only do what I can


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## 2dogs (Oct 6, 2012)

could you get your vet to come to the house to do it?


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## Oscar12 (Aug 26, 2012)

The vets is really close to the house, literally round the corner, so it means she can go to the vets through the park and give her a bit a nice farewell walk. 
I don't think we're having a single cremation or her. I did that with my cat and as much as it consoled me at the time having her with me, I don't think I grieved her actually passing away. It's horrible to think of what will happen when she's gone, I know i will be thinking about what's happening to her after we've left the vets, but I trust my vet and the nurses who work there to treat her the best they can


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## delca1 (Oct 29, 2011)

Spoil her rotten when you see her tomorrow, loads of treats and hugs 

My vet is wonderful and could not have been more lovely to me or Jaz when I took her for the last time. She had always loved going there and they made such a fuss of her (and me) before the deed was done. She was very happy as she moved on to the bridge.

How you have her cremated is a very personal thing, do what you feel is right for you, remember we all grieve in different ways.

((((hugs)))) on their way to you x


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## Oscar12 (Aug 26, 2012)

As much spoiling as she can handle... She can still be a bit of a grump  tonight while I was all tears trying to get a hug she huffed me off and plodded to the other end of the garden 
I think the tears have stopped for the night. I said to the boyfriend to read all the lovely posts.. He then found a lovely picture on a fbook page but said 'oh this might set you off again so I'll not show you'.. But then started talking about the lovely poem that Colliebarmy posted!! Burst into tears and shouted at him because I couldn't finish eating my dinner :rolleyes5:


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

The sentiment in the poem (that our 4 legged buddies may hang around after passing away) may not be so far from true

our dog Sadie had a seizure and died in Oct 2001, we had her 12 years, after our our 1st night without her the wife and i both said we had sensed her get on the bed between us, at the bottom of the bed, just as she had for so many years, just on that 1st night without her and never again.

love never dies


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. (((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

don't know what else to say.


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## 2dogs (Oct 6, 2012)

thinking of you today x


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

Tia can join the Rainbow Brigade of loved and lost furry ones today, and also join those who were not so lucky and tell how some humans love dogs* and how there are only sunny days, juicy bones and a soft bed at night for them from now on.










*Other furry buddies are available (cats, rabbits,etc)


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## Oscar12 (Aug 26, 2012)

Thanks again to everyone who's sent hugs and lovely messages 
Today I am feeling much better about the whole thing. I'm doing whats best for her in the long run, I can't imagine leaving her until she cannot walk herself, cannot get up or go outside to toilet.. even get a goodnights sleep. 
I've always expressed that when Im old and grey I want my family to do what's best by my health and needs if I cannot make certain decisions myself.. In a way this is what I'm doing for Tia.
Still quite sad today but having a philosophical one


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

If she has been poorly for a year its time to give her some comfort and ease, yes, its hard but if she could talk she would thank you


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## Oscar12 (Aug 26, 2012)

Tia went peacefully this evening at 6:16.
My brother and I took her through the park so he could play in the leaves, although she could barely stand you could tell she was happy. Just round from the vets she collapsed in a big pile of leaves and looked at us as if to 'no WAY am I going any further!!!'
We were last to be seen at the vets and were given as much time as we needed with her. We discussed, through my sobs, that she was knackered and it was finally time. It was decided to sedate her first as she hated getting her feet or legs touched, we felt this would be the least stressful way. 
So she fell asleep.. Snored like an ogre .. And plodded happily and pain free to rainbow bridge.
More than anything I feel relief that she is no longer in pain. She had a great life, outdoing the vets prognosis by 4 comfortable years... Letting her see this one last summer might not have been anyone else's choice, but she just wasn't ready to give up yet.


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## Grace_Lily (Nov 28, 2010)

Got tears streaming down my face but pleased (that doesn't feel like the right word) that Tia has passed peacefully over to rainbow bridge. You've done the one thing that is both hardest and kindest for her. Thoughts are with you x


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

My condolences to you and your family.
You made sure that her last day would be a good Day. I think that was very nice of you to be so thought full.
I hope that the happy memories of Tia will help you through and also I am sure your puppies will help you too.

R.I.P Tia and have fun at Rainbow Bridge xx


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## Oscar12 (Aug 26, 2012)

Thanks again everyone for your support, lovely messages and reading my post  The kindness of strangers and all that... It's really nice 
I also meant to put in the last post that I took her a cooked sausage and an apple because she loooooved these.. Munched them in the garden


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

So sad, but it was time. You gave her a great last day.


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## 2dogs (Oct 6, 2012)

RIP Tia 
run free xx


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

To my dearest family,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from the Bridge.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here there's no more tears of sadness.
Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said, "I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They'll be here later on."
God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry:
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now,
than I ever was before.
There are rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy
and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world,
the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody
who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night...
"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented...
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along
I made somebody smile.
God says: "If you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street
with me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind."
"And when it's time for you to go...
from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...
you're coming here to me."


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## kateh8888 (Aug 9, 2011)

RIP Tia. Run free xx


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