# struggling to cope with my cats death



## franc (Nov 7, 2012)

I waited till I was 35 to get a cat even though I wanted one for years, I found a little balck kitten and called her mimi.
Im single so it was just the 2 of us and she became everything to me.
she would be around 20 months old now but yesterday I found her unrecognisable corpse in the road.
She was with me purring just an hour or so earlier. 
She had been hit by a truck.
The depth of how much it has effected me is substantial.
I have had only 1 smallish meal since monday. Its now wednesday and I dont feel like eating.
Im really depressed.
We had such a good relationship.
Im hoping this passes as its not going to help me in life as I have no desire to do anything at the moment.
I dont feel stupid but I do feel like im weak and terribly tooled for dealing with things. 
Hopefully there a successfully attached picture of her.
Now I have to get used to being alone again.
She was barely an adult cat.
all replies welcome especially those who know what I can expect over the next weeks or months...


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## skip (Sep 25, 2011)

Im so sorry for your loss. The picture of Mimi is lovely. It takes time as with any loss to come to terms with what has happened and its different for everyone,its very early days,your pain will ease (((hugs)))


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## IloveMySpaniels (Nov 6, 2012)

I'm sorry to hear about your loss  I can't imagine how horrible that must have been for you to find. It's very understandable that your feeling so depressed. It's hard enough losing a pet when their old and you know it's time for them to go. it must be so much worse to lose a pet so suddenly and such a young age. I don't think it makes you weak. Anyone would be the same. Naturally it will take a while longer to get over something like this, but I think it will get easier in time. Try not to let it put you of doing stuff you normal do because its doing the normal day to day stuff that will help stop thinking about it and make it easier to cope with. Don't let it put you off having more pets in the future x


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

I am so, so sorry for your loss. She looked so pretty, and was so young, and should have been with you for many years yet.

Sometimes it seems that outr pets are only meant to be with us for a short time - who knows why, so I hope that somehow, your loss will lead you down a different path.

For now, it's such early days. You have lost someone very precious to you, and of course you will grieve. We understand.

Grief is different for everybody. As said previously, it can help to get up and get on with the day to day stuff, even if you don't feel like it. That helps you get through, and it doesn't mean you don't care. Just take each day at a time.

Expect to feel immense loss - expect to feel guilt - expect to feel angry - expect to wake up, then have that sudden realisation and remembering of what has happened. That is all normal.

Do come on here, to share your memories and feelings. Many of us have been through something similar. There are also pet bereavement services that can help you, if you are struggling.

When you are ready, you can share some happy memories with us. That way, your kitten cat will live on.

Some people create a memory box - collar, favourite toy, photos, memories - too hard ot do right now, but helpful if you worry about forgetting - don't worry, by the way, you won't.

Some people find ways to commemorate their pet - planting daffodils, a plant, making a donation to an animal charity ..... whatever seems right.

Another way, is to volunteer at an animal rescue, helping other cats in memory of your own - perhaps just sitting in with the lonely ones to help socialise them.

And of course, when the time is right, many people go on and get another pet. The loss of a pet is immense, but the rewards are greater. Perhaps in the not too distant future, you will able to share your home with another kitten or cat - or maybe two. They won't replace your lost one, but they would be new friends to share your life with.

Hope this helps just a tiny little bit.

Sending you hugs.


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## franc (Nov 7, 2012)

thanks for the replies..
I like that you all said she looked like a lovely cat.
She really was beautiful.
She even on occasion liked to get into bed with me under the covers and id wake up next to her as if she was a person. 
I knew she liked to go and explore a lot and she got frustrated if she spend too long without going outside and I wanted her to be a happy cat so she had her cat flap and came and went when she pleased.
I knew there was a risk but freedom was important to her and she told me how happy she was all the time. 
It wouldnt surprise me if she was rolling around in the road trying to get some dust into her fur..
I noticed she started to do that as a kitten on the concrete patio. she used to love it.


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## Dynomutt (Nov 5, 2012)

I'm sure your Mimi was very very happy and thankful for the life you have given her and the lovely friendship that you shared.
I also think that what happened was very sudden, and it's likely she knew nothing about it. 
I'm very sorry for your loss, sending love your way.


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Don't for a minute feel any guilt about letting her out - some cats are happy living inside, but others NEED to be out exploring. You did right.

I am sure that she had a really happy life with you. One day, far away, you will be reunited. For now, go forward knowing that you loved her and she loved you.

You still have more love to give - maybe not right now - you need to grieve - but don't close the door on other pets in the future.


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## Dynomutt (Nov 5, 2012)

I agree with summersky, you don't have to be alone, every pet is special in it's own way, so maybe when the time is right.
Though i don't mean to cause offense, because i know that every pet is also irreplacable.
You should be very proud of yourself for having been such a caring and loving cat owner, i wish for every owner to have such a friendship with their pets.


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss of Mimi. What a lovely little cat.
Summersky has covered quite a lot of what I want to say.
Having also lost this year I know how heart breaking this is. If you have friends and family try and talk to them and tell them how you are feeling.
Everyone is different in grief and I found it's best not to bottle it up. If you need to cry then cry. It's best to try and keep busy and eat a little something.
Mimi would not want you to get poorly because you have not eaten or slept well.
Please like others have said don't let this put you off from having another little one share your life. Mimi had a lovely life with you and she would not want you to be lonely.
Please try and keep in touch on here and let us know how you are. We are all here to help you and a lot of us on here know what you are going through.

R.I.P Mimi and run free at Rainbow Bridge xx


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

Mum I'm here at the rainbow bridge
Ill wait for you to get here
Im playing with so many more
for me you need not fear

I caught a mouse but let it go
it seemed so scared of me
the sun is warm upon my back
so i lay beneath a tree

dont cry too long no need for that
I had a lovely life
and thanks again for having me
now smile, and banish strife


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Dear Franc,

It can't take the hurt away, but I hope it helps just a little to know that we are here and we care.

Try and drink and eat a little more today - your precious Mimi will be watching over you and would want you to.

This awful pain will ease.


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## Knightofalbion (Jul 3, 2012)

Summersky said:


> Dear Franc,
> 
> It can't take the hurt away, but I hope it helps just a little to know that we are here and we care.
> 
> ...


What a fine post. So kind and thoughtful. You're a credit to the forum, dear Summersky.


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## Knightofalbion (Jul 3, 2012)

franc said:


> I waited till I was 35 to get a cat even though I wanted one for years, I found a little balck kitten and called her mimi.
> Im single so it was just the 2 of us and she became everything to me.
> she would be around 20 months old now but yesterday I found her unrecognisable corpse in the road.
> She was with me purring just an hour or so earlier.
> ...


My heart goes out to you, dear Franc.

I certainly don't think you're "weak", on the contrary I find it very touching to see, as clearly is the case, how much you loved your beautiful Mimi. And I'm sure she loved you the same in return.

It does get better, give it time.

Animals come into our lives, sometimes for a short time, sometimes for a longer time, but either way it's a blessing.
Remember her with a happy smile and a happy heart.

Animals have souls just as we do. Beloved pets survive death, just as our human loved ones do. You've not seen the last of her! 
Indeed, you may feel her presence around the flat for a time.

Try to keep your spirits up and eat properly. When you feel the time is right, get a new cat. There are so many out there in search of a happy, loving home with a good, kind person just like you...


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## franc (Nov 7, 2012)

thanks for all the replies..
theres nothing else to say..
I just need time..
It was only yesterday morning we were cuddling last but it already seems like the relationship was all a dream..
thanks all!


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

Take good care of yourself franc.

You are right - you need time, and it will all feel unreal for a while. But remember, what you had together was precious and real. Mimi will leave a massive gap, but you WILL come through, and life will get better.

come back to us if you need to talk. XX


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## jopetportraits (Feb 28, 2011)

This has made me cry as I lost my eldest cat in August so know exactly how you are feeling and am very sorry that you have lost Mimi. She was a beautiful cat. It does take time to get over the loss of your furry friend. Thinking about you.


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## Knightofalbion (Jul 3, 2012)

One crumb of comfort from all this is that it would have been instantaenous. She wouldn't have suffered.


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## MrsLen (Sep 3, 2012)

Knightofalbion said:


> What a fine post. So kind and thoughtful. You're a credit to the forum, dear Summersky.


I couldn't agree more.


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## MrsLen (Sep 3, 2012)

franc said:


> I waited till I was 35 to get a cat even though I wanted one for years, I found a little balck kitten and called her mimi.
> Im single so it was just the 2 of us and she became everything to me.
> she would be around 20 months old now but yesterday I found her unrecognisable corpse in the road.
> She was with me purring just an hour or so earlier.
> ...


I can only echo what everyone else on here has said. I'm so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Mimi. Losing a pet is not asy under any circumstances. You can expect to feel a whole range of emotions in the next few days, weeks and months and you will find that everyone on here understands how you feel. Take care.
x


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

This is where good can come out of sad and bad - our experiences help us understand and support others. Take care MrsLen, I hope things are beginnig to get easier for you too.


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## Prinkess (Feb 20, 2011)

I am so sorry for your sudden loss. She was a beautiful girl. 
The memories of the time you and Mimi shared will hopefully serve to comfort you as time goes on. It will take time, give yourself time to grieve. I am currently going through the stages myself, although we were expecting it. 
Take care of yourself and know we know how you feel.


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## Nicola76 (Nov 9, 2012)

Hi - I'm new here but I can really sympathise with how you feel. My own 17 yr old cat died on 3rd October from old age. When I got home from work, she was lying on the kitchen floor with her little back legs having just given up. Within an hour, I'd taken her to the emergency vets and she'd been out to sleep. All very sudden, traumatic and devastatingly painful. I've got no idea how I managed to sleep when I got home that night, and I've slept little since. 

Only about a week or so ago, I broke down to a colleague telling him that I just missed my cat. Thankfully as a cat lover, he sympathised. 

It does get easier, but I really miss her. The comfort I take is that she was a beautiful cat who became my best friend and who supported me regardless of whatever was happening in my life, and I hope she felt a fraction of that for me too. 

I made the decision to get a new cat recently and last weekend a new little pal came into my life, but my first cat, and the one who grew up with me will never be forgotten. The pain I felt when she died (and still do feel) was horrendous, but it was worth every tear and every sleepless night to have had her as my wee friend all those years


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## Rolacolacube (Aug 21, 2012)

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss of the beautiful Mimi. No words can help your pain. Just know you can always talk on here to people who have been there before. Thinking of you. Rest in peace dear Mimi xx


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