# My dog's a bit socially awkward



## emilyh (Jul 8, 2013)

I've posted before about my rescued shepherd mix with severe anxiety issues. We've seen great improvement in him, and I'm learning more and more about his personality.
We have no idea what his background is, but he's always been good, if not a little apathetic around other dogs. But I've been reading about body language and behavior (mostly on here!) and I'm noticing that maybe he struggles a bit more than I thought.

When we bring him to the dog park, for the most part he does his own thing. walks around, sniffs, pees, you know, dog stuff. And he'll sniff other dogs, but mostly leaves them alone after that first encounter. On walks on a lead, when he sees other dogs he seems genuinely interested at first! His ears perk, his tail wags, and he eagerly walks towards them. Then he gets weird. While his ears stay up, his tail drops between his legs, he licks his lips, and walks directly towards them. Doesn't curve, kind of slows down, but not much. he just walks up, nose to nose. I feel like he's giving off all kinds of mixed signals! 
Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I don't know. So far nothing bad has come of it yet, but I'm nervous about the one dog that he meets and just rubs the wrong way...

If this is odd, is there anything I can do to help him make friends? 
thank you!


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## goodvic2 (Nov 23, 2008)

Why is it so important for your dog to "make friends"

You have said that when he is there he does his own thing

Lots of dogs are just happy to walk with their human and that's it. 

I think people think that dogs MUST socialise when in fact they don't. Personally I would never visit a dog park as I don't trust other people.

Maybe just accept that your dog is happy being with you and doesn't need to mix with other dogs.


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## Owned By A Yellow Lab (May 16, 2012)

It sounds as though he starts to approach other dogs with confidence, and then gets nervous i.e. the lip licking.

It may be that in the past, he was bitten by another dog. Or maybe he simply hasn't been exposed much to other dogs.

Do you know anyone with a steady, calm dog, with whom you could walk once a week....? Or maybe he could have a low key 'play date' with that dog?

When on lead, dogs are often tense when encountering other dogs, because the lead stops them from sending out the natural signals they are free to use when off leash.

It may be that your boy is never a raging extrovert - and that is totally fine 

However, I appreciate that you want him to be more relaxed around other dogs. I would maybe look for a good training class where he can be around other dogs but not necessarily have to be in close contact just yet.


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## Leanne77 (Oct 18, 2011)

I have a dog that isnt that bothered about interacting with strange dogs and making friends. I always thought his body language was a bit confusing, he would give off both friendly and none friendly signals at the same time, he didnt have the confidence to interact correctly and was quite socially inept really.

Since he has his group of doggy friends that we now walk with, and we go on regular group walks with both familiar and none familiar dogs, his social skills have come on in leaps and bounds. If he is happy to meet he makes that clear and is very polite. If he isnt happy to meet he also makes that clear with far more subtler signs than he used to rather than just resorting to making alot of noise and generally being a bit OTT. 

If you can, try and walk with calmer dogs on a regular basis or join decent group walks that are organised correctly (rather than just being a free for all) rather than just going to a dog park and throwing your dog in amongst all kinds of canine characters that he may not necessarily feel comfortable with.

It will take your dog time to build on his social skills and learn which is the best way to handle certain situations but the most important thing is he does this in a more controlled manner, IMO anyway


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## emilyh (Jul 8, 2013)

goodvic2 said:


> Why is it so important for your dog to "make friends"


I guess I'm less concerned about him making friends, and more concerned of him approaching another dog incorrectly, and getting himself in trouble.

I'm totally okay with him apathetic towards other dogs! At the dog park, its great to see him just enjoy himself, playing with others or not. I'm mostly concerned with his on leash behavior.

I've been trying to find him a calm dog to hang out with, and there is one woman who lives nearby that has potential, its just a matter of running into her again to ask!

Hopefully it will get better as his confidence continues to grow


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## Leanne77 (Oct 18, 2011)

Whereabouts do you live? maybe somebody on here could help with a calm dog or group walks.


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## emilyh (Jul 8, 2013)

Leanne77 said:


> Whereabouts do you live? maybe somebody on here could help with a calm dog or group walks.


Im in the States, in Vermont. I'm working with a trainer, so maybe I'll ask her if she can bring her dog, or suggest someone. I'll also reach out to the shelter he came from.
Thanks!


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## emilyh (Jul 8, 2013)

Hoping to re-open this thread, because things seem to be getting worse  
Now, even when he sees dogs that he has met and interacted well with in the past, he is not approaching. There is a really calm dog that we walk by every few days, and they use to greet each other. now, my boy will walk WIDE around the other dog, and move as fast as possible away from the other dog. 
This morning he got growled at  it may be no big deal, but I'm definitely seeing him regress in his social skills! He approached this dog quickly, and excitedly, then quickly reverted to showing signs of anxiety, and the other dog growled, then turned and walked away. A minute later they were sniffing each other but it was pretty tense. 
I've reached out to the shelter about finding some one to walk with, but to no avail, and now even the dogs I thought he would enjoy walking with, he's scared of!

Is there anything I can do to make greeting dogs less stressful for him? Should we just avoid them?


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## smokeybear (Oct 19, 2011)

If your dog wants to avoid other dogs, let him.

I make an effort to avoid all sorts of things I do not like eg children, smokers etc 

I personally do not allow on lead greetings.

If you are concerned I would a) get your dog check out by the vet to ensure there is no underlying medical condition which could lead to these behaviours eg thyroid etc b) enlist the help of a certified behaviourist c) read Out and About with your dog by Sue Sternberg.


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## Owned By A Yellow Lab (May 16, 2012)

If your dog walks 'wide' around something, to avoid it, why not let him avoid it? Your dog sounds pretty sensible to me, he knew he needed to avoid the other dog and he did so.

What does your trainer say?

Some dogs really don't enjoy playing with other dogs. In terms of how to get your boy more relaxed around other dogs, I think you need to find the distance at which he's still relaxed, and start there. When he's relaxed, lots of praise, treats etc.

I would get the help of your trainer though, assuming he/she uses positive and kind methods?


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