# Help Needed! Cat Suddently Turned Agressive to Me- Breaking My Heart :(



## missy_dee (Jan 1, 2011)

I've read the main behaviourial post by Luisa, & I know that Its Redirected Aggression
- But the "how to solve" is not working! 
In short- I got another kitten 2 days ago. All was going well, but on the 2nd morning my partner "accidentally" let the kitten escape from the isolation room. Luckily, my resident cat was in her cat basket (locked up cage that goes to vets)- as we was swopping some things around from last nights rush of getting the kitten . 
My resident cat obviously went mental, growled, clawed out at kitten. 
We had to come to decision last night to give kitten back to owner as my resident cat is an indoor cat, & extremely territorial.
However, since she has seen the kitten, my resident cat has totally chnged. She was always a "mummys girl", i.e loved me more than my boyfriend, loved cuddles- a lapcat softie. In the year we have had her, she has hissed once- at another cat.
Now all she does is yelp very , very high pitched - very distressing as though being strangled- growls when she just hears my voice or I say her name- she hisses at me continuously i.e 10 -20 times in a row- no exageration.
Its had me in constant tears & its just me she hates, can't go near her - never mind the fact my voice triggers growls & hisses. She has additionally been in a hiding place ever since & won't come out If I am in the house.

All items have been washed, put spray on myself to take any last kitten smell away- tried her with treats, toys- I just get agression & she was honestly the most daftest & loving cat ever, to see her like this is having me in tears as I write 
The daftest thing Is ,it was my partner who was messing with the kitten when we first got him, so I shouldn't still smell. 
I am desperate for any other ideas , last resort if she hasn't improved in a week, cat pyschologist. I'm just used to several cuddles a day, now even If I call her Im greeted with growls & hisses.

Please help!!!!


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

missy_dee said:


> I've read the main behaviourial post by Luisa, & I know that Its Redirected Aggression
> - But the "how to solve" is not working!
> In short- I got another kitten 2 days ago. All was going well, but on the 2nd morning my partner "accidentally" let the kitten escape from the isolation room. Luckily, my resident cat was in her cat basket (locked up cage that goes to vets)- as we was swopping some things around from last nights rush of getting the kitten .
> My resident cat obviously went mental, growled, clawed out at kitten.
> ...


Um why did you give the kitten back so quickly? You know that reaction was normal right?

In fact all of what you have typed is NORMAL! It takes some cats a few weeks to settle down and accept their new friend ... I'm quite upset that you would do that 

2 days? ... 2 DAYS!  Seriously I think you've acted way to quickly. Wish you'd come and asked before giving the kitten back.


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## missy_dee (Jan 1, 2011)

Because my resident cat is an INDOOR cat & we live in a flat currently so she is extremely territorial, she has never been outside only hissed at a cat through a window, never mind having another cat on her home territory, so please don't state that you are angry & judge me of my decision, I DO KNOW its normal that she was upset at the kitten & takes aa few weeks to adjust, but I know my own cat & that she wasnt going to adjust/just not going to take to the kitten.
Your response has made me quite upset , that was quite rude, I am not some child who doesnt have a clue, Im an adult who wants my old cats behaviour back.


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## missy_dee (Jan 1, 2011)

Additional: I only just found the site today, Or I would have come here & asked...
I was looking for friendly help/ advice, not a "telling off" where I went wrong 
when its now too late.. the kitten has gone, my cat is agressive.. I can't turn back time, But I was hoping to come here for advice where to go from now??
That was all.


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

I didn't realise you had only joined today, so I apologise for that.

BUT! If you know your own cat why did you want to get a kitten in the first place? 

Regardless of what you say, 2 days is just not long at all, and ... well the poor kitten did nothing to deserve not even being given a proper chance.

EDIT: To add ... you only gave the kitten back last night right? So it will take time for your cat to re adjust. But it might be worth taking her to the vet as well, because until you have you can't rule out it being something medical that's making her aggressive. Hope that helps.


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## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

missy_dee said:


> I've read the main behaviourial post by Luisa, & I know that Its Redirected Aggression
> - But the "how to solve" is not working!
> In short- I got another kitten 2 days ago. All was going well, but on the 2nd morning my partner "accidentally" let the kitten escape from the isolation room. Luckily, my resident cat was in her cat basket (locked up cage that goes to vets)- as we was swopping some things around from last nights rush of getting the kitten .
> My resident cat obviously went mental, growled, clawed out at kitten.
> ...


Hey MissyDee, welcome to PF  I'm afraid I have to agree with Aurelia here, getting rid of the kitten after 2 days is pretty hasty. With my cats, all indoor cats, my first boy really made me pay for bringing in a second cat. He used to be a lap cat - my lap, but the second cat I brought home overtook me (after they'd gone through the rituals of showing who is boss) and she is now the love of his life. At first, it wasn't plain sailing, nor was it when I brought kitten number three home. You have to exercise a lot of time and patience, and 48 hours is nowhere near enough time to allow things to settle down. In fact, each time I had a new kitten, I had two weeks off work so that I could be with them 24/7. Oh, and when I had the first two kittens, Pet Forum wasn't even in my radar, I done the intro thing all by myself (with help from my other half). So, it can be done.

I'm not sure what the answer is here though, because, let's say you go back and bring the kitten home again? And then give up again when things don't go according to plan? It isn't fair to either your resident cat or the new kitten. It's your call, only you know how much time you can devote to introducing a new kitten. Rest assured though, it's never likely to be completely stress free - for you, your cat and the new kitten.

ps - if you choose to just keep your resident cat as a sole cat, then she will settle down in time. Just spend time with her, if she won't allow you near her to give her fuss, talk to her gently. She will come round eventually.


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

missy_dee said:


> Because my resident cat is an INDOOR cat & we live in a flat currently so she is extremely territorial,


living in a flat has nothing to do with anything, neither does the fact that your cat is INDOOR cat



missy_dee said:


> so please don't state that you are angry & judge me of my decision,


did you come here looking for opinions or just for people to agree with you and tell you you have to done the right thing? It's a free world, just as you're entitled to your opinion, others are entitled to theirs.



missy_dee said:


> I DO KNOW its normal that she was upset at the kitten & takes aa few weeks to adjust, but I know my own cat & that she wasnt going to adjust/just not going to take to the kitten.


you'll not like this, but I'll say it it anyway "poppycock!". I have had hundreds of foster cats come in and out through my home over the years and many different resident cats, all cats are capable of accepting other cats, the deciding factor is us humans. But I guess YOU DO KNOW this already.



missy_dee said:


> Your response has made me quite upset , that was quite rude, I am not some child who doesnt have a clue, Im an adult who wants my old cats behaviour back.


well if you're not a child you're certainly acting like one. You make impuslive decisions, and then chuck your dummy out of the pram when someone points that out to you. Hardly rational, calm & adult behaviour, now is it?



missy_dee said:


> I was looking for friendly help/ advice, not a "telling off" where I went wrong when its now too late.. the kitten has gone, my cat is agressive.. I can't turn back time, But I was hoping to come here for advice where to go from now??
> That was all.


well you're really going about getting good advice the wrong way. You're not exactly being friendly yourself. Remember, people on here are not paid to give you advice. A modicum of civility on your part wouldn't go amiss.


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## missy_dee (Jan 1, 2011)

Quote:
originally posted by TJEmissy_dee 


living in a flat has nothing to do with anything, neither does the fact that your cat is INDOOR cat- 
my reply: I beg to differ. To introduce a kitten to a new home, you must have a neutral isolcation room. I live in a flat, its either kitchen where my cat eats, the bedroom where she sleeps,. or living room where she comes for cuddles. I have no neutral isolation room, I live in a relatively small space, therefore my cats territory is smaller. The fact shes indoor does pose a difference to me. She has never met another cat in person before, & I have done my reading up- most people introducing a kitten , their resident cat sulks off outside & can get breathing space outside. My cat is privvy & limited too a few rooms. 


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tje:-

did you come here looking for opinions or just for people to agree with you and tell you you have to done the right thing? It's a free world, just as you're entitled to your opinion, others are entitled to theirs. 

No, I didnt come here looking for someone to tell me I had done something wrong, as though I can turn back the clock> I came here for advice from the future not for people to have a go at something that cannot be unchanged. everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I came here for future advice on the situation, not for a slap in the face when I am already upset.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tje:
you'll not like this, but I'll say it it anyway "poppycock!". I have had hundreds of foster cats come in and out through my home over the years and many different resident cats, all cats are capable of accepting other cats, the deciding factor is us humans. But I guess YOU DO KNOW this already. 

Another remark at me.. Your "poppycock" remark has not offended me, I was expecting that kind of remark from how you have knitpicked me at every opportunity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tje:
well if you're not a child you're certainly acting like one. You make impuslive decisions, and then chuck your dummy out of the pram when someone points that out to you. Hardly rational, calm & adult behaviour, now is it?

I was waiting for some smart alec to say that XD What a surprise it should come from you. Shock , shock horror horror.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tje
well you're really going about getting good advice the wrong way. You're not exactly being friendly yourself. Remember, people on here are not paid to give you advice. A modicum of civility on your part wouldn't go amiss.

All I can say is , dont look a gifthorse in the mouth. Look at your own words, matey. You have come on here & knitpicked at every way, & then preach me to be civil & say I am not being friendly.. but what you have just done , that is?? 
Youre more than a rude person, that is obviously sat there smug waiting for me to type away so you can come back with more smug one liners , that you are hoping more people will reply to you " Good for you, thats told her".

What is people getting paid/not anything to do with it??? Youre saying as the site is free people are allowed to criticise me where I went wrong, without leaving any HELP as stated in the thread & section.. & people like you can knitpick & insult me, whilst attempting to come across as some voice of reason You hope is going to favour you to other people..

I will go back & rename this thread " Come here to insult an emotionally upset newcomer" or "criticise but dont offer any help"

Youre right, people dont get paid & are open to opinions, so we can type away & insult as we want, & as its across the net nobody can see how upset I am , Just smart alecs like you judge me & reply with a thread like that.. 

DO me a favour & DON't reply, If you read earlier I am emotionally upset , I cant turn back time, If you want a b*tching war of knitpicking quotes, Find another forum /thread


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

Ermmmm OK.

You have had help BTW, can you see it?


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

Fellow forum members....it really is neither necessary or helpful to respond to genuine posters with such aggression or negativity.
No, we are not paid to give advice but if we choose to, can we not make it constructive rather than critical?
The OP is obviously confused and upset, and probably does not have the wealth of experience which you both have...but they have come on here to ask to share in that wisdom, not to get shot down.
If less informed pet owners cannot come on here and ask safely for helpful advice then this forum will continue to dwindle into an inactive 'pals only' chat room.
Original poster....your cat seems to be showing an extreme, but not unique reaction to the new kitten which you had brought into the enclosed space of your home. She is pushing your buttons...try not to react in a negative manner, try to engage her in play, tempt her with her favourite treats and she will come round in time.


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## hobbs2004 (Mar 12, 2010)

missy_dee said:


> Another remark at me.. Your "poppycock" remark has not offended me, I was expecting that kind of remark from how you have knitpicked me at every opportunity.


You aren't new then, are you? A repeat disgruntled former pf member? How could Tje possibly have knitpicked you at every opportunity if this is only your 4th post and Tje has only replied once in detail. Did you come here to bait and stir ****?


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

Paddypaws said:


> Tje and Aurelia....it really is neither necessary or helpful to respond to genuine posters with such aggression or negativity.
> No, we are not paid to give advice but if we choose to, can we not make it constructive rather than critical?
> The OP is obviously confused and upset, and probably does not have the wealth of experience which you both have...but they have come on here to ask to share in that wisdom, not to get shot down.
> If less informed pet owners cannot come on here and ask safely for helpful advice then this forum will continue to dwindle into an inactive 'pals only' chat room.
> Original poster....your cat seems to be showing an extreme, but not unique reaction to the new kitten which you had brought into the enclosed space of your home. She is pushing your buttons...try not to react in a negative manner, try to engage her in play, tempt her with her favourite treats and she will come round in time.


well PP, if you are so good at it, why don't you give out more practical help and information? Aurelia & myself give out tons of good information on this forum, practically on a daily basis, and I LOVE the fact that people like you jump in at every chance available to criticise the manner in which we deliver it. If you feel you can do it better sweetie... the floor is your's anytime you feel like it!!


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

hobbs2004 said:


> You aren't new then, are you? A repeat disgruntled former pf member? How could Tje possibly have knitpicked you at every opportunity if this is only your 4th post and Tje has only replied once in detail. Did you come here to bait and stir ****?


well spotted Sherlock !


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

Paddypaws said:


> Tje and Aurelia....it really is neither necessary or helpful to respond to genuine posters with such aggression or negativity.
> No, we are not paid to give advice but if we choose to, can we not make it constructive rather than critical?
> The OP is obviously confused and upset, and probably does not have the wealth of experience which you both have...but they have come on here to ask to share in that wisdom, not to get shot down.
> If less informed pet owners cannot come on here and ask safely for helpful advice then this forum will continue to dwindle into an inactive 'pals only' chat room.
> Original poster....your cat seems to be showing an extreme, but not unique reaction to the new kitten which you had brought into the enclosed space of your home. She is pushing your buttons...try not to react in a negative manner, try to engage her in play, tempt her with her favourite treats and she will come round in time.


I understand you have good intentions but please!

My first post gave advice, the only advice that could be given in the circumstances, as the kitten was given back after only 2 days, so nothing else really comes into play here as there was just no time to figure anything else out. I'm aloud to be upset ... I _am_ upset that a poor little kitten hasn't even been given a chance.

It's not like I called the OP names, or was abusive 

Anyway going by her reply to Tje's post it's clear it is a returning member or current one. I suspect it's just another attempt to cause trouble.


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## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

missy_dee said:


> Quote:
> originally posted by TJEmissy_dee
> 
> living in a flat has nothing to do with anything, neither does the fact that your cat is INDOOR cat-
> ...


That *bold* paragraph alone just begs the question 'why on earth did you bring the kitten into your home in the first place?' 

My resident cat didn't sulk off outside as you state - mine are *indoor cats* and had lots of time, love and patience invested into them with the introduction period and for the whole time since. Sometimes introducing a new kitten/cat *IS* tough. You gave in at the first hurdle; there is no getting away from that.


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

hobbs2004 said:


> You aren't new then, are you? A repeat disgruntled former pf member? How could Tje possibly have knitpicked you at every opportunity if this is only your 4th post and Tje has only replied once in detail. Did you come here to bait and stir ****?


GMTA and all that


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

dougal22 said:


> That *bold* paragraph alone just begs the question 'why on earth did you bring the kitten into your home in the first place?'
> 
> My resident cat didn't sulk off outside as you state - mine are *indoor cats* and had lots of time, love and patience invested into them with the introduction period and for the whole time since. Sometimes introducing a new kitten/cat *IS* tough. You gave in at the first hurdle; there is no getting away from that.


that's the whole point Dougal, how are any of us supposed to be able to help a poster who already knows all the answers herself (or rather, thinks she does).

It would be like us going to our GP and telling him how he should diagnose and treat us.

What's the point of going if we know all the answers before we set foot through the door?


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## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

Aurelia said:


> Anyway going by her reply to Tje's post it's clear it is a returning member or current one. I suspect it's just another attempt to cause trouble.


That thought crossed my mind too Aurelia, as by stark contrast I have just read a lovely thread started by someone who is so obviously 'a newbie'.


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## GeordieBabe (Apr 7, 2009)

Missy_Dee it is normal for cats to react like this of course you wern't to know this, you have been given some good advice about either getting kitten back,or just leave your own a lone to come round.good luck


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

GeordieBabe said:


> well said, can't believe others just give negative replies, all you had to do was check and see she was new.shame on you
> 
> Missy_Dee it is normal for cats to react like this *of course you wern't to know this*, you have been given some good advice about either getting kitten back,or just leave your own a lone to come round.good luck


 She said she did read up and knew to expect some of it. So she did know.

I'm sorry but who are you to say 'shame on you'? If anyone should feel shame it's the OP for giving up on the poor kitten ... heck even getting the poor thing in the first place when she knew how territorial her cat is!


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## Taylorbaby (Jan 10, 2009)

well bringing in a new kit is always highly stressful for all envolved and your cat is obviously very upset, esp now the kits gone after 2 days  it can take 6months to actually 'settle' so 2days is a piddle in the sea  :lol:

your girl is upset but she will get over it, just carry on as normal, treats playing etc, shes prob very confused, I know I would be lol!


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## SafariMan (Jan 1, 2011)

Dear Missy_Dee,

I am pretty sure your cat would turn to her normal state hopefully soon. I think this behavior is odd for your pet, because if she is so devoted and loving, why would she turn on you? Well, maybe the kitten freaked her out, maybe because she isn't exposed to other animals often, as you said, she is an indoor cat.

Goodluck!


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## MatildaG (Nov 8, 2010)

I think you have received some good advice here and people are just understandably frustrated by the needless stress to both cats. I for one would rather receive advice from a forum where people weren't scared to say what they believe is right, so you know that they are looking out for the welfare of your cats whether it's upsetting or not, and not just trying to be nicey nicey to the owner.

People have said why didn't you give the kitten a bit longer, which you explained is because you know your cat too well and she just wouldn't accept it - which leads everyone to wonder why you got the kitten if you knew your cat wouldn't accept it?

I think your cat needs time to re-re-adjust. She is probably confused and wary that one minute she has the house to herself, then for two days she has a new housemate, then the housemate disappeares. I'm sure she will go back to her old self when she is sure of what's going on and settles down.

Good luck and please continue to use the forum, as there is some great advice to be had.

MG x


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

MatildaG said:


> I for one would rather receive advice from a forum where people weren't scared to say what they believe is right, so you know that they are looking out for the welfare of your cats whether it's upsetting or not, and not just trying to be nicey nicey to the owner.


You and me both! And all the do-gooders, like Paddypaws above, who repeatedly moan that we have to nice and supportive to posters, irrespective to how irresponsibly those posters are acting towards their pets, really need to ask themselves where their priorities lie; with animal welfare or with making irresponsible posters feel good!



MatildaG said:


> People have said why didn't you give the kitten a bit longer, which you explained is because you know your cat too well and she just wouldn't accept it - which leads everyone to wonder why you got the kitten if you knew your cat wouldn't accept it?


Yep, and the fact that the OP seems to know all the answers already. Which begs the question, if she knows all the answers, why is she asking questions.

:


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

MatildaG said:


> I think you have received some good advice here and people are just understandably frustrated by the needless stress to both cats. I for one would rather receive advice from a forum where people weren't scared to say what they believe is right, so you know that they are looking out for the welfare of your cats whether it's upsetting or not, and not just trying to be nicey nicey to the owner.


Fully agree with the above.When I joined the forum,I had behaviour issuses with my Ragdoll kitten,the help I received was excellent.There were things said,which at the time seemed unneccessarily harsh,but ,I soon realised they were said in a positive way.I now have a much happier ,balanced(well nearly)kitten and I have made some great friends .I am so glad I stuck around and followed the advice I was given by people who care enough to help.I have also learned a lot about cats in general which has been a bonus.


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## SafariMan (Jan 1, 2011)

Um, I believe everyones talking about how everyones responding to this forum instead of actually typing in advice, so as an reminder, pleass write info/help.


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

SafariMan said:


> Um, I believe everyones talking about how everyones responding to this forum instead of actually typing in advice, so as an reminder, pleass write info/help.


Advice was given but OP decided to chuck her toys out of the pram and went on to slate everyone on the forum for not telling her what she wanted to hear.Advice doesnt always work that way.


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## dougal22 (Jun 18, 2010)

SafariMan said:


> Um, I believe everyones talking about how everyones responding to this forum instead of actually typing in advice, so as an reminder, pleass write info/help.





buffie said:


> Advice was given but OP decided to chuck her toys out of the pram and went on to slate everyone on the forum for not telling her what she wanted to hear.Advice doesnt always work that way.


As buffie said, advice WAS given, the OP chose not to take it. This is an open forum and people are entitled to voice opinions as they see fit, within PF guidelines.

Safariman - I am confused as to why you feel posters need an unnecessary reminder from you  You are not here to police the forum, self appointed or otherwise.


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

SafariMan said:


> Um, I believe everyones talking about how everyones responding to this forum instead of actually typing in advice, so as an reminder, pleass write info/help.


7 effing posts ........ *seven posts*... 7 posts.. seven.... 7 .....

and he feels justified in "reminding" us how we should post.:scared:

talk about the pot calling the kettle black, lol.:arf:

(apologies for my repeated 7s making me sound like Len Goodman from Stritcly)


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

I am getting increasingly sick of people who dont give much (if any) in the way of help CONTINUALLY lecturing people who give out help on how they should deliver that help


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

It is very difficult not to react ,justifiably,when advice is thrown back at you.The advice wont always come with a bunch of pink flowers but it will be given from the heart and will always be given for the well being of the cat ,not always what the owner may wish to hear.But advice is not always going to be what you want it to be.


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## lizward (Feb 29, 2008)

missy_dee said:


> Quote:
> 
> I will go back & rename this thread " Come here to insult an emotionally upset newcomer" or "criticise but dont offer any help"
> 
> ...


Par for the course here, I'm afraid. I am sorry this is happening to you. I think your cat will settle back down if you give her time.

Liz


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## lauren001 (Jun 30, 2008)

I think Tje does have a point, re some members who go around the the forum having "opinions" on those who have actually offered help.
Poor Safariman has borne the brunt of this frustration, as he did in fact post some help, but he should not take it personally, as it seems to be a continuing problem.

OP asks for help, help is given, OP doesn't like the help, OP retorts nastily or leaves in a strop. 
Then pile in the do-gooders who post about how nasty the forum is and how *bad* the "helpers" are for speaking against dog welfare problems, for speaking against cat welfare issues, for trying to save new "breeders" from making huge mistakes, for pointing out "obvious" poor management of any pet.

As most are adults on here, then we do not really need unhelpful comments on *how* members should post. 
Some call a spade a garden implement, some call it a spade and some call it a bl**dy shovel, whatever it is called we all understand, we are not still in school. So unless a person is truly bullying someone else then there is no need to intervene.

*Missy_Dee* - you are upset because your cat is not acting the way she normally does, if you leave her be and don't make her even more upset by making a fuss then it should all be back to normal soon, unless of course she is hurt or ill. You need to make sure of that.
I wouldn't have returned the kitten either, that is normal cat on cat behaviour and your cat is obviously really scared, with an intruder in her home. Had you left the kitten then her fear may have subsided really quickly and you may have had two lovely cats. The panic caused by yourselves when the kitten escaped probably upset her even more and the stress she felt then is probably being amplified by you "in constant tears".


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## SafariMan (Jan 1, 2011)

Tje said:


> 7 effing posts ........ *seven posts*... 7 posts.. seven.... 7 .....
> 
> and he feels justified in "reminding" us how we should post.:scared:
> 
> ...


Just to tell you I joined recently, as the "Pet Forums Newbie" sign says. Just because I am a Pets Forums Newbie should I be judged as stupid or empty headed, I have been researching about cats for days on how to care for them, giving them a balanced diet etc. You might post hundreds of posts a day if you wanted too, but some people are busy finding info and working their day jobs, or on holiday and maybe visiting a friend.


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## SafariMan (Jan 1, 2011)

Integrating Kittens with Cats

Introducing Young Kittens to Adult Cats

by Margaret Schill (not me)

galenhissfranny

Adult cat hissing at kitten. Kittens can be a threat to adult cats. This adult cat was fine with the kitten after many days.

Cats are territorial, some more than others, and in most cases, do not initially take well to "intruders" in their territory, not even to small kittens. By doing a slow integration procedure, with gradual amounts of exposure over a whole lot of days or even weeks, building up to full-time mingling, things will usually work out fine.

A kitten under 16 weeks old is a baby, physically weak, and can easily be hurt by an older cat. So, your primary concern is for protecting the kitten. Do not rush the introduction process.* Once things go badly, they often stay bad.* Your goal is to try to not have negative things happens between the new kitten and the older cat (except a bit of hissing).

There are some adult cats who take to little kittens right away, happily filling in as "mom". This is not typical, though, especially for adult cats who never had any dealings with little kittens. Most adult cats don't act like mother substitutes to kittens. That does not mean they won't come to accept a kitten living in the same home. Adult cats and kittens can and do certainly wind up getting along, as the kitten and adult cat in the picture above finally did. But it is not usually the easy, quick acceptance that some people think it will be with many adult cats, where you just plop a little kitten down with the adult cat and have everything be fine. It almost always won't be if you do that. Since starting out badly will set the tone for the relationship, and it is only kind to do all we can to reduce stress and fear in our cats, proceeding slowly with introductions is always the best thing to do.

Info Copied From: Integrating Kittens with Cats


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

SafariMan said:


> Um, I believe everyones talking about how everyones responding to this forum instead of actually typing in advice, so as an reminder, pleass write info/help.


Think you will find that is what triggered the response,Nothing was said about the condition of your head ,empty or otherwise.The comment about the number of posts was merely a reaction to you sounding like the forum police.


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

lauren001 said:


> I think Tje does have a point, re some members who go around the the forum having "opinions" on those who have actually offered help.
> 
> OP asks for help, help is given, OP doesn't like the help, OP retorts nastily or leaves in a strop.
> 
> ...


Couldn't have said it all better myself. If people feel they are so much better at giving advice, why don't they just do it. Because that is the real issue here. The monkey gallery don't give pet related advice (or very little) but the same faces pop up time and time again telling other people how they should be giving advice. It's like we have a certain little posse and all they really do is troll the forums so they can say "oooo er that wasn't very nice now, was it."

No one comes here to learn how to talk or how to type or how to converse with others. As you say Lauren, we're all adults and are all perfectly capable of deciding for ourselves what "style" suits us.

I don't like the fluffy-happy posts, but I don't just pop on the fluffy-happy threads demanding that the poeple on them have a serious meaningful conversation for once in their lives!

The do-gooders on here seriously are getting on my nerves. They continually remind the rest of us that new posters might be put of using the pet forum because people aren't pink n fluffy enough. Well I will take this opportunity to point out to the do-gooders that many good animal loving members who regularly give out animal related advice, have already, or are considering, leaving the forum purely because of the do-gooders and there contant calls to "play nice". (not me mind, I have a hyde like a rhino... and a mouth like one too).


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## SafariMan (Jan 1, 2011)

buffie said:


> Think you will find that is what triggered the response,Nothing was said about the condition of your head ,empty or otherwise.The comment about the number of posts was merely a reaction to you sounding like the forum police.


Sorry if I was sounding bossy :frown:, I didn't mean it to be harsh or controlling, I just thought everything was starting to go off track.


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

buffie said:


> Think you will find that is what triggered the response,Nothing was said about the condition of your head ,empty or otherwise.The comment about the number of posts was merely a reaction to you sounding like the forum police.


thanks Buffie me loverly  I wish people could actually read, lol. Tell meeko to get the "mobile" fired up... I have such a feeling I am gonna need his servcies tonight, hehe.

Safari Man... my point was... who are you to tell others how to post? *If you can do a better job, just do it. Don't tell people they're not doing it good enough*. And just for the record, you're not the only one with a day job, a holiday or out meeting friends etc. (Though what that has got to do with the price of cheese is beyond me).


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

SafariMan said:


> Sorry if I was sounding bossy :frown:, I didn't mean it to be harsh or controlling, I just thought everything was starting to go off track.


of course they were... but your comments don't being things back on track... they just add fuel to the flames and make things go even more off track. lol

But .... a belated........ welcome to the pet forum.

You'll get used to it after a while.

Happy New Year too :thumbup:


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## MaryA (Oct 8, 2010)

Like many other members, I seek help and information in a balanced and educational perspective. I too wish the OP's points were addressed with less castigation and arguement. Why? Because I expect like so many other threads on the forum, this one will be removed. It is such a pity as many pulled threads contain great information that never sees the light of day. For me, that loss is the worst part of these discussions.


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

Tje said:


> thanks Buffie me loverly  I wish people could actually read, lol. Tell meeko to get the "mobile" fired up... I have such a feeling I am gonna need his servcies tonight, hehe.
> .


Had a feeling that may be the case.There are a few on the General Chat site who also may need Meeko's driving skills


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## SafariMan (Jan 1, 2011)

Since the poster doesn't seem to be responding, should I move on to another thread or just continue posting.


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## canuckjill (Jun 25, 2008)

I'm going to remove a couple of posts from this and then leave it as there may be many new cat/kitten owners who need to understand that introducing a new animal to a home takes quite an adjustment for all ....Jill


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

SafariMan said:


> Since the poster doesn't seem to be responding, should I move on to another thread or just continue posting.


whatever you want to do. Just have a look around the forum and ....well... basically just jump in where you think you can help. Or of course if you want help make a new post asking your question. Or if you want to discuss a certain topic, then just make a new one (though in the appropriate sub category, like if you wanted to talk about cat food or feline kidney problems, do it the health & nutrition forum ... and if you wanted to talk about breeding, then start a topic in the breeding section. Though be prepared for topics to wander off in all directions, hehe.


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

MaryA said:


> Like many other members, I seek help and information in a balanced and educational perspective. I too wish the OP's points were addressed with less castigation and arguement. Why? Because I expect like so many other threads on the forum, this one will be removed. It is such a pity as many pulled threads contain great information that never sees the light of day. For me, that loss is the worst part of these discussions.


but Mary, in all fairness, you dont come on to the forum knowing the answers already to the questions you ask. You also dont throw your rattle out of your pram because you dont get the responses you were hoping for. Besides, its pretty obvious that the new poster OP wasnt even that new a poster anyway as she certainly new a lot about forum personalities. All I mean is these things work two ways, how we ask dictates how we get answered. How receptive we are to answers and opinions dictates how freely they are given.


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## lauren001 (Jun 30, 2008)

If I went on a car forum (I know nothing or very little about cars) and asked some advice I would listen to the advice, take the criticism as I would be there to learn and take some knowledge away with me.
If I got the wrong end of the stick about carburettors or pistons or tyres etc. I would not flounce off if someone told me I had got it wrong.

I do not really understand the posters on here who seem to take anything that is said as something to fight about.


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

lauren001 said:


> If I went on a car forum (I know nothing or very little about cars) and asked some advice I would listen to the advice, take the criticism as I would be there to learn and take some knowledge away with me.
> If I got the wrong end of the stick about carburettors or pistons or tyres etc. I would not flounce off if someone told me I had got it wrong.
> 
> I do not really understand the posters on here who seem to take anything that is said as something to fight about.


actually lol, I joined a DIY forum last night. I want to buy one of those machines to paint my walls (like an air gun that sprays the paint on to the walls and ceilings so I don't need to brush or roll) anywayyyyy it turns out the one I had in mind is about as [email protected] as one can buy. I took the criticism on the chin, and have learned a lot and will save money and time by buying a better model in the first place. But that's exactly what I wanted... opinions on the air guns... if they work, how they work, are they a waste of money or worthwhile... and that's exactly what I got back. Opinions, some from qualified painters and decorators, and some from people who are just good at DIY. I have learned a lot and am happy.


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## Shelley Cat Lover (Jan 23, 2009)

Hi, as others have stated, your cat will come round in time. It'll take patience, a calm environment and a stack of treats.

Also try some Feliway, it could help to make your cat feel calm again. Good luck x


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## koekemakranka (Aug 2, 2010)

Yes, it is heartbreaking when your cat is angry with you, especially if you are close. Just carry on as normal, treat her as normal, reassure her and she will come round. Promise.:thumbup:


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## Kiwi (Nov 18, 2010)

Shelley Cat Lover said:


> Also try some Feliway, it could help to make your cat feel calm again


I agree with the feliway - I have just been looking after a neighbours 3 cats and one of them was clearly upset and spraying after I picked him up. I was concerned that the smell of my own cat was causing offence, so the next time I went 'round, I washed by hands and sprayed feliway on them and the bottom legs of my jeans (same ones as before). I also removed my shoes as the sound seemed to scare him. It worked a treat and the cat was completely at ease - amazing stuff!


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