# My kitten is running away from me



## puddyandcolby (Mar 7, 2016)

Hi, I have 2 bsh girls. My younger kitten (8 months now ) is the most loving cat in the world. She loves sitting on my lap, always wants to sleep with me, she's absolutely fantastic. She demands attention all the time and I love her very much. The problem is that at the same time she's impossible to pick up, she's running away from us like we are strangers. If we need to go somewhere or pick her up it becomes a nightmare. She's not scared just ... quick ! What can I do to change it. Thank you very much for any replies xxx


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Hi, some kittens do hate to be picked up. It is a trust issue, they like to decide for themselves where they go, for their interaction with humans to be on their own terms. They feel safer being in control, and instinctively hate to be restrained in any way.

Kittens may become a bit more tolerant of being picked up as they become adult cats. But not always - some cats continue to hate it, all their lives. Or they may trust just one person to pick them up, but no-one else. I've always found female cats to be less tolerant of being picked up than males.

You can try to desensitise the kitten slowly and patiently to being picked up. Pick a time when she is not racing around playing, or asleep. Do not chase after her and grab her - kittens hate that! Perhaps pick a time when she is waiting to be fed and is near you. Place your hands under her belly and lift her a few inches off the floor, then immediately put her down before she has time to object. Do not repeat until the next day, then do it again, perhaps a tiny bit higher, and immediately place her back on the floor.

This is a trust building process, so you must not rush it. Also the kitten needs to sense that you are confident in what you are doing. If you are anxious she will sense it and become anxious too. Keep the training going every day, and only slowly increase the height you lift her off the floor, to no more than 18 inches maximum. Kitty needs to feel sure you are not trying to restrain her, and she needs to see she is not far from the floor.

Always be calm in the process and and never insist on lifting her if she objects, e.g. if she cries or pulls away as you put her hands under belly. You can try again next day - she may be in a more receptive mood then.

If after a week of the lifting/placing her back on the floor she is not objecting, then progress to next stage as follows: Place a few of her favourite treats on the lower perch of her cat tree, or on a table or a chair. (anywhere she is allowed to sit i.e) Then swiftly in one movement lift her off the floor and place her on the surface where you've put her treats. She will begin to associate being lifted up with a reward of treats. Cats are wonderful creatures for making associations (both good and bad ones) between different things. It is part of their survival instinct.

She may never be a cat who lets you walk round holding her in your arms, but it sounds as though she is a wonderfully affectionate and sociable cat _on her own terms. _This is the important bit. IME this is typical of many female cats, my BSH female was the same.

Leave the cat carrier out all the time so kitty becomes used to it and may even choose to sit in it or sleep in it. If it is only brought out for a vet trip etc then she is likely to panic as soon as she sees it.


----------



## puddyandcolby (Mar 7, 2016)

Oh thank you very much, will try it. She's such a loving cat, wants to be with people all the time, but she's quick and very independent when it comes to being picked up. My other bsh girl doesn't mind being picked up at all, but she's not very affectionate. They're so different ! Thank you for your post xx


----------



## Cookieandme (Dec 29, 2011)

My 4 year old BSH April, hated being picked up so much she would immediately clamber over my shoulder to get away. It's only been the last few months that she has improved. She would roll on the floor for tickles but that's it. As Chillminx says pick her up briefly occasionally, she will improve - April has .


----------

