# Goldendoodle Breeder recommendation and advice please



## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

*Hi everyone ! 
I am a complete newbie to this site and have never personally owned a dog (I have had smaller pets in my lifetime). 
*
I understand that a lot of people here have an opinion about cross breeds but please do not tackle those concerns on this thread.

I fell in love with Goldendoodles and the more I read about them the more I love them .

My youngest (age 4) has a huge fear of dogs hence I personally believe he needs to grow up with the dog we get (hence rescue is not an option).

Three questions for you lovely people please :

1-) I am really struggling to find out how I would find a reputable Goldendoodle breeder ... does anyone have advice or know of any breeders ?

2-) I have found breeders who are council registered I have their licence number but how in the world do I verify that they are genuine licence holders ? (I was expecting to go in the council website and type in their reference number and see all of their licence info...... was I expecting too much ?:/)

3-) i understand that proven heath checks of the parents is an absolute MUST ..... Have question is what is the best type of crossbreed puppy to get : 
- one where the parents are the pedigrees (golden retriever and a poodle) 
- one where one of the parents are a Goldendoodle 
- one where both parents are golden doodles ?


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> *Hi everyone !
> I am a complete newbie to this site and have never personally owned a dog (I have had smaller pets in my lifetime).
> *
> I understand that a lot of people here have an opinion about cross breeds but please do not tackle those concerns on this thread.
> ...


What is it that you have fallen in love with the goldendoodle? What are your needs in a dog?
How many goldendoodles have you met in person? 
How many has your son met? What about young goldendoodles? Has your son been around a young, bouncy golden, doodle, or poodle?


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

O2.0 said:


> What is it that you have fallen in love with the goldendoodle? What are your needs in a dog?
> How many goldendoodles have you met in person?
> How many has your son met? What about young goldendoodles? Has your son been around a young, bouncy golden, doodle, or poodle?


I have met now 3 Goldendoodles . 
why I love them ? 
- I love how happy, bouncy and cuddly they are . and the fact that they look like big teddy bears ....
-my research suggested they score 5 out 5 for their friendliness with children 
My youngest son:
- he won't go near any dogs  so I cannot say he has met any dogs properly . However he once stood near a Yorkshire terrier I think because it was very small and less intimidating for him.
Where can I find a young goldendoodle ? I am guessing they will still be on the larger side ?


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## Blitz (Feb 12, 2009)

A goldendoodle is not a breed , it is a cross between a golden retriever and a poodle and as such can be any size or coat. One thing you can be almost sure of is that they will be VERY lively and not at all suitable to be in a house with a nervous child - sorry!


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> I have met now 3 Goldendoodles .
> why I love them ?
> - I love how happy, bouncy and cuddly they are . and the fact that they look like big teddy bears ....
> -my research suggested they score 5 out 5 for their friendliness with children
> ...


Your son won't go near any dog and you're thinking about getting a large, bouncy, energetic dog living in the same house as him? 
How old is your son?


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## Blitz (Feb 12, 2009)

It is unlikely that you will fine a breeder who health tests crossbreeds. You do not want to look at licensed breeders with your local council as you only need a license if you are breeding several litters a year so not the best of breeder to start with. I think you will be struggling to find a good breeder but as I said it is not a suitable crossbreed for a nervous small child who will be completely overwhelmed and knocked over.


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## Siskin (Nov 13, 2012)

The size of a goldendoodle will depend on the size of poodle the golden retriever has been bred with to a large degree. Also there will be a difference between males and females. Unfortunately there will be no set size as it will depend which parent size the puppy takes after. Size of an 8 week old puppy won't really indicate the size it will be as an adult.


Have you spoken to any of the goldendoodle owners about the coat the dog has? Poodles are a non shedding breed which need regular visits to groomers for a trim. Golden retrievers are a double coated breed that shed heavily twice a year and moult all the time. You will have no idea what kind of coat the puppy will inherit until it's an adult. You may have a dog that has a coat very similar to a poodle or the golden retriever or a mix of both which is where the trouble lies. If the dog has a poodle type coat but is also double coated and sheds heavily then the shed hair will be trapped within the poodle coat unless carefully combed out daily. Many doodles end up getting very matted and having to be shaved by the groomers. The goldendoodles I have met tend to have to visit the groomers every six weeks. It's quite an expensive business.

Both golden retrievers and poodles have various hereditary health issues which ideally need to be tested for before being mated and producing puppies. It is very unusual to find a goldendoodle breeder who is health testing their dogs.

You say you have met several goldendoodles, have you met and poodles or golden retrievers? What did you think of them?
Don't expect all goldendoodles to be the same as it will depend on which parents nature and temperament they have inherited.


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

sorry but youve got your first point wrong
no one here is anti cross breeds, I think youll find quite a lot of us have them
what we are against is bad breeders
( even unethical back yard breeders have to be registered now, if they churn out more than 2 litters a year, so that is no indicator of a good or bad breeder)
you need to look for
a breeder that cares enough for the pups to source the very best of parents, ones that have been health tested ( not just checked actual certified health TESTS) for whatever the required tests are for each breed 
and look at the pedigrees of each to see what their parents and grandparents tested

one that looks for a 5 gen pedigree, of both dam and sire, with little or no line breeding or multiples of the same dog being used

one that is happy to show you pups with mum
one that will question you as much as you question them

one that will invite you ALL to come meet the pups, if your son is scared of puppies, then a big strong dog will be a nono and the breeder should say no and refuse

one that will take the pup back whatever happens and whatever age

YOU need to look at poodles AND at golden retrievers, being a cross they can take any characteristics or mix of characteristics from either side, and, from ancestors

a breeder that looks to breed for temperament, not pocket

look at the cost of grooming, they may or maynot shed, 
They will definitely NOT be hypoallergenic, 
a non shedding dog, especially, will need a minimum of an hour a day grooming, 
and, 
frequent professional grooming, or you'll just end up with a dog that's a matted mess
You say you've met s few goldendoodles, how many puppy's though? 
Puppies are not called land sharks for nothing, are not yet emotionally balanced, 
don't come with instinctive training.
With a four yr old, are you going to cope with being up 2 or 3 times a night to take pup out?remembering to do same every hour during day, after every meal and sleep?
walking it in rain, snow, hail, whether you want to or not
What if he barks, howls etc and wakes your child?
will he understand or be cranky towards pup?
will you understand when you're trying to settle both at 4am?
You easily dismiss a rescue, 
but, 
lots of rescues are hand ins from people who can no longer keep them, 
are in fact heartbroken at doing so, 
have put all the crap time in
and
you could very well find a young dog, 
whose had training, 
come from a family home, 
which would be perfect as a first dog 
AND
still grow up with your son


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

Siskin said:


> The size of a goldendoodle will depend on the size of poodle the golden retriever has been bred with to a large degree. Also there will be a difference between males and females. Unfortunately there will be no set size as it will depend which parent size the puppy takes after. Size of an 8 week old puppy won't really indicate the size it will be as an adult.
> 
> Have you spoken to any of the goldendoodle owners about the coat the dog has? Poodles are a non shedding breed which need regular visits to groomers for a trim. Golden retrievers are a double coated breed that shed heavily twice a year and moult all the time. You will have no idea what kind of coat the puppy will inherit until it's an adult. You may have a dog that has a coat very similar to a poodle or the golden retriever or a mix of both which is where the trouble lies. If the dog has a poodle type coat but is also double coated and sheds heavily then the shed hair will be trapped within the poodle coat unless carefully combed out daily. Many doodles end up getting very matted and having to be shaved by the groomers. The goldendoodles I have met tend to have to visit the groomers every six weeks. It's quite an expensive business.
> 
> ...


Sorry to have cross posted with you @Siskin 
You obviously type faster than I do


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## DanWalkersmum (Mar 21, 2019)

Hi Nora, I think you have your answer here, if you check out the puppy threads on this forum it might give you an idea what you would be up against with a young bouncy dog and a young child too. Not for the fainthearted! 
Even a smaller cross like mine was is a bit of a whirlwind, I couldn't imagine a large dog like the mix you're planning on getting. Too many posts here quote the puppy blues and other problems (check out the other threads). 
You will also need to factor in the grooming cost (a must with dogs with long coats like mine) not for the fainthearted at £30 upwards every month or so, vets fees, insurance etc. costs increase with the size of the dog.
We all think we will be able to cope with a puppy in theory, but the reality comes as a huge shock to the system beleive me! The mess, the noise, the cost etc etc.........


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

@Siskin @mrs phas @Blitz @O2.0

Thank you for taking the time to write such detailed comments.

While reading your comments some sounded very strong , some patronising...probably because with text things can get misunderstood as the emotion is not there.

I understand that you are all very passionate about the welfare of the dogs and families and I appreciate it ! However it may have been nice to hear something encouraging about wanting to own a dog I guess.

Emotions aside .. I have taken away some very important points from your responses. Examples: I had not read or heard anything about the complexities with the grooming . 
Nor did I realise we would be up 3-4 times a night for The puppy so I will be investigating that further ... how long does this process last ? I am not afraid of doing it but always like to know the facts .

in terms of my son and it not being a great idea to get a big bouncy dog -_even though I don't like it - _also makes sense..... 
Is it better to avoid dogs all together at his young age or are there particular breeds (or cross breeds as now I don't know how to refer to them) that you would recommend we bring in to our family ?


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

DanWalkersmum said:


> Hi Nora, I think you have your answer here, if you check out the puppy threads on this forum it might give you an idea what you would be up against with a young bouncy dog and a young child too. Not for the fainthearted!
> Even a smaller cross like mine was is a bit of a whirlwind, I couldn't imagine a large dog like the mix you're planning on getting. Too many posts here quote the puppy blues and other problems (check out the other threads).
> You will also need to factor in the grooming cost (a must with dogs with long coats like mine) not for the fainthearted at £30 upwards every month or so, vets fees, insurance etc. costs increase with the size of the dog.
> We all think we will be able to cope with a puppy in theory, but the reality comes as a huge shock to the system beleive me! The mess, the noise, the cost etc etc.........


Thank you i will start searching for posts , great advice


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

How old is your son @NoraOxfordshire ?
What do you think about doing some volunteer work at a local rescue or shelter? 
It would be a great way to learn about dogs, owning dogs, what their needs are, plus rescues can always use help. From there you can attend events involving dogs and slowly ease your son it to it.


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

He is 4 years old


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

I have to agree with others, I think it's a recipe for disaster I'm afraid. A young puppy of any breed is a real shock to the system, but all the Doodle types I've met have been excessively boisterous and I can only describe them a bit like a bull in a china shop! Your young son being so nervous is a concern as your puppy will be biting him in play which hurts for the best of us, let alone a small and nervous child. He will be knocked over, jumped on, mouthed etc etc and it's all well & good thinking you'll be on top of that, but the reality is you won't be able to stop it 24/7 and the care and responsibility of a young puppy is not to be underestimated. There is a reason the 'puppy blues' are so common! 

I think if a dog is still what you want to go ahead with what your son actually needs is a mature, temperamentally sound, and calm older dog to help ease his nerves around dogs. It would be much easier for him to adjust IMO with a well balanced, friendly and non assuming dog that is not likely to cause him to run & scream with a puppy hanging off his trousers. If you're keen to pursue a puppy still I'd look at something smaller and with a calmer temperament - some of the Toy breeds might be suitable, although can be deceivingly active & full on as well. Oh, and bear in mind rescues do get puppies in too!


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## Sairy (Nov 22, 2016)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> Is it better to avoid dogs all together at his young age or are there particular breeds (or cross breeds as now I don't know how to refer to them) that you would recommend we bring in to our family ?


You don't need to avoid dogs altogether, although I would be selective about which dogs your son interacts with so that he gets positive experiences. I completely agree that a golden doodle is a bad idea for a young child who is scared of dogs. The ones I have known are really quite big and extremely bouncy, making them not for the faint-hearted. Below are a few smaller and less manic breeds that you could consider - these would be better options to have around your son, although you will still need to do your research and use a breeder who health tests. Also bear in mind that a puppy of any breed is a lot of work, as mentioned further up.

Here are some breeds I would suggest looking at:

Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
Bichon frise
Shih tzu
Yorkshire terrier
Miniature (or toy) poodle

I hope this helps.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

I would forget about getting any dog until you’re sure your son has lost his fear of dogs tbh. Puppies can be a nightmare, frankly (even for confident kids) - manic, jumpy, bitey etc. What if he doesn’t get over it once you have the dog?

Some training schools offer courses with calm, well mannered dogs where children can do just that - watch the dogs train, groom them, even walk them, etc.

When my son was young I would have found having a dog (and especially a puppy) very restricting as they are often not allowed in a lot of the places where kids and families want to go, especially on holidays.

What with after school activities, football club, Beavers, we were barely at home.

btw I have a crossbreed


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## Jamesgoeswalkies (May 8, 2014)

Plenty of advice in regard to 'goldendoodles' above. I would think about it all very carefully. And I too would just clarify that you will not find that there is a poor opinion of crossbreeds on here (as has been said many of us own or have owned mixed breed dogs) but a poor opinion of incompatible, poorly bred designer crossbreeds which personally, i do not always believe is in the best interest of the dog itself and often leave owners with a completely different animal to the one they were expecting.

I will also just add re the goldendoodle questions you asked - the only actual 'goldendoodle' is a first generation cross between a registered Golden Retriever and a registered Poodle. F2 and F3 crosses (crossing doodles with doodles) simply make a third type of crossbreed altogether often resembling neither of the original breeds. I would always beware the F2/F3 breeders as they are selling by default and are simply in it for the money.

Now I grew up with dogs all around and all my children grew up with dogs - I think it's a wonderful combination and I don't for a moment think that your son is too young. Sairy has suggested some more appropriate breeds for novice owners with small children. To that list I would add a Miniature Schnauzer. Super little dogs with a great personality and of a size and personality that I am sure would help your son get over his slight nervousness around dogs. My friend got her Miniature Schnauzer when her daughter was just 2 years old. It's lovely now to see them together. 

Taking on a puppy is a huge commitment as I am sure you know so I would get yourself some puppy books to read through first - you asked about getting up in the night - this can last for weeks with some puppies - for days with others - you whole routine will change from the moment the puppy arrives - it's like having a new baby in the family! 

J


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

Sairy said:


> You don't need to avoid dogs altogether, although I would be selective about which dogs your son interacts with so that he gets positive experiences. I completely agree that a golden doodle is a bad idea for a young child who is scared of dogs. The ones I have known are really quite big and extremely bouncy, making them not for the faint-hearted. Below are a few smaller and less manic breeds that you could consider - these would be better options to have around your son, although you will still need to do your research and use a breeder who health tests. Also bear in mind that a puppy of any breed is a lot of work, as mentioned further up.
> 
> Here are some breeds I would suggest looking at:
> 
> ...


Thank you for your advice and the recommendations on breeds . I will start investigating


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

Jamesgoeswalkies said:


> Plenty of advice in regard to 'goldendoodles' above. I would think about it all very carefully. And I too would just clarify that you will not find that there is a poor opinion of crossbreeds on here (as has been said many of us own or have owned mixed breed dogs) but a poor opinion of incompatible, poorly bred designer crossbreeds which personally, i do not always believe is in the best interest of the dog itself and often leave owners with a completely different animal to the one they were expecting.
> 
> I will also just add re the goldendoodle questions you asked - the only actual 'goldendoodle' is a first generation cross between a registered Golden Retriever and a registered Poodle. F2 and F3 crosses (crossing doodles with doodles) simply make a third type of crossbreed altogether often resembling neither of the original breeds. I would always beware the F2/F3 breeders as they are selling by default and are simply in it for the money.
> 
> ...


Thank you for answering my question on cross breed combinations. that is very helpful and great to understand what the F1/2/3 stands for !! I will look at the schnauzer as you have recommended. 
thank you for caring


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

Jamesgoeswalkies said:


> Plenty of advice in regard to 'goldendoodles' above. I would think about it all very carefully. And I too would just clarify that you will not find that there is a poor opinion of crossbreeds on here (as has been said many of us own or have owned mixed breed dogs) but a poor opinion of incompatible, poorly bred designer crossbreeds which personally, i do not always believe is in the best interest of the dog itself and often leave owners with a completely different animal to the one they were expecting.
> 
> I will also just add re the goldendoodle questions you asked - the only actual 'goldendoodle' is a first generation cross between a registered Golden Retriever and a registered Poodle. F2 and F3 crosses (crossing doodles with doodles) simply make a third type of crossbreed altogether often resembling neither of the original breeds. I would always beware the F2/F3 breeders as they are selling by default and are simply in it for the money.
> 
> ...


After the recommendations on my thread I have searched for other threads for 'puppy blues' and I am surprised to see that this can last years ?! Perhaps as We are well trained parents of humans it won't be such a shock to our systems ? 
Thank you very much I will keep teaching my self about life with puppies..


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## Sairy (Nov 22, 2016)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> After the recommendations on my thread I have searched for other threads for 'puppy blues' and I am surprised to see that this can last years ?! Perhaps as We are well trained parents of humans it won't be such a shock to our systems ?
> Thank you very much I will keep teaching my self about life with puppies..


Puppy blues is a very real thing and pretty common, however it is unlikely to go on for years. Some people may have experienced it for this long, but for the majority of people it normally gets better after a few months.


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## Linda Weasel (Mar 5, 2014)

I would have a look at poodles. Super intelligent so easy to train as long as you go about it the right way.

They’re also not very heavy, which can count for a lot if they ‘barge’ a toddler.

I had a Ridgeback when my son was a toddler and he would chuck himself on the ground when he saw her coming, because he knew he was going to finish up there, anyway (really don’t know how my children survived to adulthood).

I know ‘puppy blues ‘ is talked about as almost a ‘given’, but I never suffered it myself, nor any of my doggie friends; if you can deal with bringing up a child you can certainly bring up a puppy without killing it.


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## Jamesgoeswalkies (May 8, 2014)

Linda Weasel said:


> I know 'puppy blues ' is talked about as almost a 'given', but I never suffered it myself, nor any of my doggie friends;


I haven't either. I think it's all a about being prepared and understanding that puppies are like babies - that they will change your routine and also (just like our kids) they do take a lot of time and understanding.

J


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## Sairy (Nov 22, 2016)

Jamesgoeswalkies said:


> I haven't either. I think it's all a about being prepared and understanding that puppies are like babies - that they will change your routine and also (just like our kids) they do take a lot of time and understanding.
> 
> J


That's no doubt part of it, but I think if you are prone to anxiety and depression (like myself) then sometimes it doesn't matter how prepared you think you are. It is useful, however, to be aware of it as it makes it so much easier to deal with. I didn't know about puppy blues until I had Holly and I couldn't understand what was going on in my head. In contrast, I was well aware of baby blues when having George and the awareness has made me able to recognise it and consequently it has been a lot easier to deal with.


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

May I suggest a well bred and socialised dachshund ? The long-haired variety are the calmst and gentlest of the three.
I have 2 mini-wires, both rehomed as adults, the most recent one adores everyone and is great with children.
The other one unfortunately is terrified of children and hides, so it's very much a case of finding one that meets your family requirements.


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## karenmc (Feb 3, 2018)

Hi, We have a Golden Retriever who is now 11 months old. She is a fantastic dog and we love her to pieces. She is very lively and wants to meet everyone (she has no idea that not everyone might want to meet her!). Also as a puppy she was a little crocodile and could get very over excited. As @Sairy said this could be sorted with consistent behaviour management and some quiet time with a chew/kong. I haven't met many Goldendoodles to comment on their size or personality, I can only tell you about Goldens. In my experience I would be a bit cautious with a nervous, young child as a bouncy, friendly dog can still appear a bit daunting especially when it is a similar height when jumping up. A friend of mine wanted her daughter to spend some time with dogs and they signed up to a 'Borrow my dog' scheme. They were paired up with a family who live near them and now visit and walk this family's dogs. A scheme like this (if there is one near you) could help your child to gain confidence around dogs while you look into your chosen breed more or other possible breeds.


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## Blitz (Feb 12, 2009)

I have miniature poodles so if you have any questions please ask. Your son is not too young to have a dog but if he is nervous and you get a puppy he is quite likely to stay nervous. They bite, they jump up, they hurt adults so will definitely hurt children. If he is scared and starts jumping around or running away and making a noise the puppy will be in seventh heaven running after him and biting at him which will not help. Only you know your child though.

As for getting up 3 or 4 times a night - I have had numerous puppies and have never got up to them. I also have a non shedding breed and rarely need to groom them but they are clipped regularly. The problem with all the poodle crosses is that they can inherit any sort of coat and can end up with hugely difficult coats to keep tangle free so do need a lot of grooming in some, not all, cases.

I do not quite understand the thought that only a first cross is a whatever doodle. There are some breeders who have managed to breed a fairly standard sort of dog by continually breeding the crosses. There are some lovely orange curly coated little doodles that I have seen around in Scotland. But you still do not have a guarantee so are far better to go either for an adult cross breed where you can see the finished product or a purebred puppy so you have a good chance of getting what you want.

When my daughter was about 4 I got her her own dog. And it was a crossbreed, a collie cross jack russell. She trained her, looked after her most of the time, watched tv with her, had her as a companion for going to the toilet, did everything together. Obviously it was me that really looked after her and trained her but she was a wonderful companion and a really good baby sitter! . My daughter had been brought up with dogs and I think I had 3 at that time so a different scenario but just to point out there is no reason why a puppy and a young child do not go together if you do it right. But a child that starts off nervous is more likely to get worse rather than better unless you are really careful in your choice of dog and management.


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

Linda Weasel said:


> I would have a look at poodles. Super intelligent so easy to train as long as you go about it the right way.
> 
> They're also not very heavy, which can count for a lot if they 'barge' a toddler.
> 
> ...


I love this thank you for the positivity and giggle Linda


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

Blitz said:


> I have miniature poodles so if you have any questions please ask. Your son is not too young to have a dog but if he is nervous and you get a puppy he is quite likely to stay nervous. They bite, they jump up, they hurt adults so will definitely hurt children. If he is scared and starts jumping around or running away and making a noise the puppy will be in seventh heaven running after him and biting at him which will not help. Only you know your child though.
> 
> As for getting up 3 or 4 times a night - I have had numerous puppies and have never got up to them. I also have a non shedding breed and rarely need to groom them but they are clipped regularly. The problem with all the poodle crosses is that they can inherit any sort of coat and can end up with hugely difficult coats to keep tangle free so do need a lot of grooming in some, not all, cases.
> 
> ...


Thank you it's comforting to read yours and your daughters experience with a puppy . That is what I really want for him to feel that a dog can be part of our family , our daily life and is not a scary animal to be afraid of ....

I will look in to adult dog cross breed options too. Great advice thank you


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

Linda Weasel said:


> I had a Ridgeback when my son was a toddler and he would chuck himself on the ground when he saw her coming, because he knew he was going to finish up there, anyway (really don't know how my children survived to adulthood).


That made me laugh. Our poor children grew up with great danes and large mutts. They learned all sorts of defensive positions including shielding their faces from tails, hugging trees to avoid being bowling pins in a bout of zoomies, standing on furniture to avoid trampled feet around excited dogs... I too wonder how my children survived. But then the dogs also provided much appreciated protection when the kids went about exploring in the woods. So it all evens out in the end.

Also bears noting that puppies have a knack for destroying prized child possessions like a favorite doll or shoes. Kids need to learn to be resilient about puppy destruction, and accidents. Helping them through this and avoiding resentment of the puppy can turn in to an invaluable life skill.


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

O2.0 said:


> Also bears noting that puppies have a knack for destroying prized child possessions like a favorite doll or shoes. Kids need to learn to be resilient about puppy destruction, and accidents. Helping them through this and avoiding resentment of the puppy can turn in to an invaluable life skill.


Yep absolutely and occasionally it happens with an adult dog too... Am still none the wiser who chewed a ninetendo figure of my son which he got for Christmas a few years back, but the dogs I had, hadn't chewed anything for years. Am guessing the smell was enticing too which ever one decided that day over the Christmas holiday period to do it!


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

Jamesgoeswalkies said:


> I haven't either. I think it's all a about being prepared and understanding that puppies are like babies - that they will change your routine and also (just like our kids) they do take a lot of time and understanding.
> 
> J


I was as prepared as prepared can be for Cash ( 2 years in waiting! ) but the 'puppy blues' still hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn't experienced it before with either of my two older dogs which were bought with much less thought & effort, go figure. I think I put alot of pressure on myself in those initial early weeks which added to my overwhelming sense of 'OMG what have I done'. Defintley getting into a routine eased some of those feelings but still took me 6 months or so to feel any real emotional attachment to him.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

However in this particular case there is a child with a known fear of dogs.


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## Teddy-dog (Nov 2, 2017)

I think you’ve had some great advice re. Golden doodles. I don’t to repeat it all but just wanted to add my experience. I’m a dog walker and have visited/walked a golden doodle since he was 4 months old and he’s just over a year now. He is one of those curly lovely looking dogs but is groomed regularly and has to be kept short or he matts. He is very sweet and loving but there is no way I’d have him around any children at the moment, never mind a nervous one. the owners have put in lots of effort (he’s their first dog) but he still jumps up (and he’s nearly as big as me when he’s on his back legs) right onto you. He will jump and push off you and I have to stand with my back to him until he’s calm before I can put his lead on. This has improved but when he’s overexcited it’s his default thing and he could easily send a child flying. He is bull in the china shop - even though I love him! I think a nervous child could be quite scared of a boisterous doodle.

I agree to look at other breeds, smaller preferably so your son won’t be intimidated by them. 

I do love sighthounds so am bias but a whippet could be a good match? They can be challenging as a far as some training goes as they are more independent minded but as long as you put the effort in they can get there. They’re generally quiet, gentle dogs when adult and like to snooze on the sofa. They can be quite lively as pups - but most breeds are! You may be able to pick up an older dog or rescue an adult?


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

One thing to take note of when looking at larger breeds is tail height
What! I hear you ask
Believe me a dogs tail across the face, when its happy and wagging it large, is like getting a whip across your face, and that's as an adult, think of your son, and how much closer his face will be, for the time being at least
Over the years I've had many breeds and cross breeds. Some deliberately chosen, some as a failed foster, my best two in regard to children were both xbreeds, 
one a boxerxmastiff, who came at 4 yrs old and would happily, we, accidentally, found out, be dressed in a shawl and bonnet and drink pretend tea and cakes with children (and she came from an awful background, a heartbreaking one)
The other came at 6 weeks, he was, unfortunately, going to be bucketed if we hadn't taken him, he was a black lab x collie, we had him before all my children and, as they each came along, he turned out to be the gentlest, calmest loveliest dog towards them and their friends

Maybe it might be an idea to visit some rescues, as adults only at first, talk to the staff, explain your thought processes and ask them if they can help to acclimatise your son around dogs
Most rescues have pups from time to time, more often than they'd like to be fair, and many have pedigree dpgs, if thats your preference.
I've had yorkies, chihuahuas, old English sheepdog, greyhound, cocker spaniel etc all from rescue
Most staff would prefer to put work in to attain a rock solid happy home, than to keep having dogs boomeranging back
I hope you do go ahead with a dog, now your eyes have been opened a little, its great for children to grow up with pets and its even been proven to be great for their immune systems and all round health
Plus its something to hug and cry with when your feeling sad and something to share good news with when your happy


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

mrs phas said:


> One thing to take note of when looking at larger breeds is tail height
> What! I hear you ask
> Believe me a dogs tail across the face, when its happy and wagging it large, is like getting a whip across your face, and that's as an adult, think of your son, and how much closer his face will be, for the time being at least
> Over the years I've had many breeds and cross breeds. Some deliberately chosen, some as a failed foster, my best two in regard to children were both xbreeds,
> ...


Lovely message and advice thank you xx


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## Burrowzig (Feb 18, 2009)

One of the dogs I used to meet in the park was a mini goldendoodle - small golden retriever mother and miniature poodle father. They're not all full sized large dogs. This one was similar in size to the owner's other dog, a cockerpoo - only slightly bigger.


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

I have been looking at rescuer centres and adoption centres since yesterday evening and in over 90% of the ads they state that the dog should not go to homes with children. Or they state that the dog need a quite home (ours certainly isn’t that )
Am I looking at the wrong places ? Pets4Homes adoption pages ... rescue centres / animal sanctuaries in our county... what am I doing wrong ?


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> I have been looking at rescuer centres and adoption centres since yesterday evening and in over 90% of the ads they state that the dog should not go to homes with children. Or they state that the dog need a quite home (ours certainly isn't that )
> Am I looking at the wrong places ? Pets4Homes adoption pages ... rescue centres / animal sanctuaries in our county... what am I doing wrong ?


You could try some breed specific rescues or Golden Oldies.


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

look at smaller rescues, they are sometimes a little more flexible, so for instance if it says school age, with your boy being 4, they may say its ok
Places like dogs trust, rspca, bluecross etc tend to be far more rigid in their outlook, which, giving the litigious world we live in, where people never want to take their own blame, you cant blame them
also expect to look for a while, not to find THE one immediately, and, maybe go further a field
put your name down at a few, saying.....
what age your looking for ( upto 1 yr for instance)
type of dog ( small, medium, large, giant) 
long or short hair, 
rehome or rescue, 
what training your happy to do ( basic, agility, obediences, KC)
if you have a breed preference ( certain breeds have a longer wait list, certain breeds are rarer than others into rescue)
look at breed specific rescue
describe your homelife ( quiet, hectic, noisy etc)
how long, approx, the dog would be left on a daily basis
indoor or garden kennel ( very few will rehome to a garden kennel, if you think about it, its transferring a dog from one kennel to another, they might as well stay in rescue)
dont discount a dog breed or crossbreed, on the basis of anecdotes, heresay or red top newspaper scandalising, all dogs have teeth, be it a chihuahua or mastiff, all dogs have the capacity to bite, its up to you as an owner to make sure its never put in that position, by training and understanding your dog and its body language
dont forget age of your child and likely age of any visiting children
how youll ensure your dog has a safe space, away from people and children if and when it chooses and where everyone understands the dog must not be disturbed, be that a crate, a part of a room, his bed, whereever

if you can do all that then staff can see the basics and match you when a particular dog comes in, being already on the waiting list can be a huge help


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## bunnygeek (Jul 24, 2018)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> I have been looking at rescuer centres and adoption centres since yesterday evening and in over 90% of the ads they state that the dog should not go to homes with children. Or they state that the dog need a quite home (ours certainly isn't that )
> Am I looking at the wrong places ? Pets4Homes adoption pages ... rescue centres / animal sanctuaries in our county... what am I doing wrong ?


Due to the extremely high demand for young families wanting dogs, the kiddy friendly dogs are usually rehomed before they are put on websites, hence why you see a lot of adverts for dogs who can only be homed with children over 21.

You will need to visit some rescue centres. All good ones, large or small, should consider you on a case by case basis although they will be cautious if your son is fearful. He'll be too young to have done anything in school about safety around dogs, that's to come! Have a read of this: https://www.learnwithdogstrust.org.uk/building-confidence/

I've not met a Goldendoodle, but we had a Golden Retriever office puppy, she's lovely but also a bit of a land shark and sends adults flying, let alone children. Definitely consider smaller breeds too!


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

bunnygeek said:


> Du. He'll be too young to have done anything in school about safety around dogs, that's to come!


what do you think teachers do all day??
teaching safety around dogs is a PARENTS responsibility, not a schools
or are you just another who thinks teachers go home at 3.30 like the kids?


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## bunnygeek (Jul 24, 2018)

mrs phas said:


> what do you think teachers do all day??
> teaching safety around dogs is a PARENTS responsibility, not a schools
> or are you just another who thinks teachers go home at 3.30 like the kids?


wow where did that come from?! The OPs little one is only 4 so hasn't started proper school yet.

If parents aren't doggy experienced and there aren't any dogs in the immediate family, schools certainly can teach dog safety, charities like Dogs Trust hold Be Dog Smart sessions in schools, my 7-year-old nephew has done one and very proudly told me what to do if a strange dog comes running up to him.


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

Seeing these images online gives me hope


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

bunnygeek said:


> charities like Dogs Trust hold Be Dog Smart sessions in schools, my 7-year-old nephew has done one and very proudly told me what to do if a strange dog comes running up to him.


so not schools per se
a charity coming in to school to do it
bit of a difference


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

bunnygeek said:


> schools certainly can teach dog safety


Schools tend to be occupied by teaching maths, English, science, etc.

It isn't their job to teach kids how to be dog savvy.

It's the responsibility of the Parents.


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## Sairy (Nov 22, 2016)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> Seeing these images online gives me hope


Not wishing to burst your bubble or anything, but please don't let images like this give you false hope. This is merely a snapshot of a baby that has been placed onto a dog, who quite likely does not particularly want a human lying on it. Cute though it might seem, this is a brief moment in time where a dog is tolerating a baby lying on it. This does not mean that a goldendoodle will be a good fit for your home. The advice you have been given is sound so please do not let images like this make you see things through rose-tinted glasses.


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> Seeing these images online gives me hope


That's just a snapshot of a moment, plus it's an adult dog. You have a hell of a long time to get to that level of control and containment with a Doodle type...or most young dogs to be fair :Hilarious


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

Sairy said:


> Not wishing to burst your bubble or anything, but please don't let images like this give you false hope. This is merely a snapshot of a baby that has been placed onto a dog, who quite likely does not particularly want a human lying on it. Cute though it might seem, this is a brief moment in time where a dog is tolerating a baby lying on it. This does not mean that a goldendoodle will be a good fit for your home. The advice you have been given is sound so please do not let images like this make you see things through rose-tinted glasses.


I was trying to lighten the mood  I am not rushing in to anything but simply admiring some cute Goldendoodles


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> Seeing these images online gives me hope


Oh dear... 
One that's a dog who does not look particularly happy about the baby in his space with no room to get away 

Two, I can post a sweet image of my daughter using our dog as a desk to do homework on, and I can right next to it post a photo of her adopting a duck and cover stance while the same dog plays because she knows from experience she'll probably get her face smacked or bowled over.

Don't be fooled by the instagram filter


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

O2.0 said:


> Oh dear...
> One that's a dog who does not look particularly happy about the baby in his space with no room to get away
> 
> Two, I can post a sweet image of my daughter using our dog as a desk to do homework on, and I can right next to it post a photo of her adopting a duck and cover stance while the same dog plays because she knows from experience she'll probably get her face smacked or bowled over.
> ...


Relax ... You have to admit they both look super cute  happy happy !


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> Relax ... You have to admit they both look super cute  happy happy !


The dog does not look happy at all. 
He's looking off camera, it looks like he's asking for help with a situation he's not at all comfortable with. It's hard to tell because of the fur, but there is definitely tenseness in his face, furrowed brow and tight lips. None of those are indicators of a happy or relaxed dog.


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

O2.0 said:


> Oh dear...
> One that's a dog who does not look particularly happy about the baby in his space with no room to get away
> 
> Two, I can post a sweet image of my daughter using our dog as a desk to do homework on, and I can right next to it post a photo of her adopting a duck and cover stance while the same dog plays because she knows from experience she'll probably get her face smacked or bowled over.
> ...


This is now my retirement plan (concludes thanks to you all here that We are not getting a dog until the boys are older hence I am drooling over other people's dogs instead  !)


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## Pricivius (Mar 16, 2018)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> Relax ... You have to admit they both look super cute  happy happy !


i disagree, I'm afraid. The baby has clearly been plonked onto the dog - neither the baby nor the dog has chosen to be in that position. It makes me a little uncomfortable, to be honest.


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> Seeing these images online gives me hope


oh, what a dangerous photograph 
ittotally appeals to the heart of people like yourself, 100% well meaning and wanting a dog, but 1000% naive too ( said with love, honestly)
i see they dont show the next one, where the dog that, seconds ago, was showing the whites of its eyes ( even as slightly as you can see in that photo) takes the babys head off

ok, exaggeration maybe, but missing the slightest cues that your dog shows, when its unhappy, *before* it reaches overload levels, is what causes red top headlines


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

O2.0 said:


> The dog does not look happy at all.
> He's looking off camera, it looks like he's asking for help with a situation he's not at all comfortable with. It's hard to tell because of the fur, but there is definitely tenseness in his face, furrowed brow and tight lips. None of those are indicators of a happy or relaxed dog.


Ok . it's all bad ...doom and gloom . Poor dog


mrs phas said:


> oh, what a dangerous photograph
> ittotally appeals to the heart of people like yourself, 100% well meaning and wanting a dog, but 1000% naive too ( said with love, honestly)
> i see they dont show the next one, where the dog that, seconds ago, was showing the whites of its eyes ( even as slightly as you can see in that photo) takes the babys head off
> 
> ok, exaggeration maybe, but missing the slightest cues that your dog shows, when its unhappy, *before* it reaches overload levels, is what causes red top headlines





Pricivius said:


> i disagree, I'm afraid. The baby has clearly been plonked onto the dog - neither the baby nor the dog has chosen to be in that position. It makes me a little uncomfortable, to be honest.


I guess it's opinion . Sorry it made you feel uncomfortable


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> I guess it's opinion . Sorry it made you feel uncomfortable


There is opinion and there is educated opinion and experience. 
What most of us are trying to explain is that the dog's body language indicates he is not at all happy with the situation. 
Part of loving dogs, not just loving the idea of a dog is making the effort to learn about dogs and how they communicate. Dogs learn our signals, it's only fair that we learn theirs.

This is a very basic primer


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## NoraOxfordshire (Oct 29, 2019)

O2.0 said:


> There is opinion and there is educated opinion and experience.
> What most of us are trying to explain is that the dog's body language indicates he is not at all happy with the situation.
> Part of loving dogs, not just loving the idea of a dog is making the effort to learn about dogs and how they communicate. Dogs learn our signals, it's only fair that we learn theirs.
> 
> This is a very basic primer


I will study this further thanks


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

NoraOxfordshire said:


> Relax ... You have to admit they both look super cute  happy happy !


I'm with @O2.0 on this, that picture isn't cute to me at all & it sends out the wrong message to inexperienced families with young children that all dogs tolerate this sort of treatment.

Dogs can't talk to us when they don't like something or are uncomfortable, their communication is much more subtle & we owe it to them as their protectors to learn that language & act upon it.


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## bunnygeek (Jul 24, 2018)

Rafa said:


> Schools tend to be occupied by teaching maths, English, science, etc.
> 
> It isn't their job to teach kids how to be dog savvy.
> 
> It's the responsibility of the Parents.


read my other post. I said schools but not teachers, plenty of charities offer this service to schools around the country. Not all parents know enough themselves to be able to teach proper doggy safety.


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## Blitz (Feb 12, 2009)

bunnygeek said:


> read my other post. I said schools but not teachers, plenty of charities offer this service to schools around the country. Not all parents know enough themselves to be able to teach proper doggy safety.


I was asked to go into a primary school and give a talk on dogs so it is not unheard of.

OP, not sure if you are still around but do not give up the idea of getting a dog while your son is only 4 if you can try him round dogs and get him over his fear first. There are a few people on here who have allowed their dogs to be part of the family and there are others who seem to think they should not be allowed to mix but if you want a family dog just look for the right breed (or adult cross) and enjoy it. I spent an hour with a nervous 4 year old when I was walking my dogs one day and noticed his fear. At the end he was walking the dogs on the lead, giving them commands and posing for photos with them. He still flinched when other dogs came near but he soon learnt that my dogs were fun to be with and would not hurt him.


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