# New kitten struggling to settle in



## ddonn (Aug 25, 2015)

Hi,

My gorgeous new kitten Dexter (about 9 weeks old) is struggling to settle. He has only been with me since Sunday so I know it may take a while longer but I'm worried about him and want to make sure I'm doing the right things for him.

He has set up camp in the kitchen, is eating well, sleeping and using the litter tray without problem but he is constantly crying and hissing every time I go near him.

I sit on the kitchen floor and wait for him to come out of his igloo bed, he has occasionally come over and has a sniff and mooch and we actually had a minutes play this morning with one of his toys but he is so nervous.

When I'm in the living room I leave the kitchen door open as well.

Is it just time he needs or can anyone suggest other ideas?


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Hi @ddonn welcome to Pet Forum 

It sounds as though your kitten has not been very well socialised by the breeder, i.e. has not had much contact with humans or been handled much, which is what kittens need before they leave their mum, if they are to develop into confident kittens. At the moment your kitten is wary of you and nervous about you getting close to him.

You will have to be his surrogate mum and socialise him yourself. Always respect his personal space, let him come to you rather than you go to him, but you can tempt him with interactive toys. The best ones are Flying Frenzy, Laser Pointers, ping pong balls to throw for him. Several hours of play a day at his age is best, split into half hour periods, or until he has had enough.

Provide safe hidey holes for him in his room so he can tuck himself away when he wants to. These can be cardboard boxes turned on their sides, with the back of the box facing the room; or an igloo bed, tucked behind the sofa etc. When he is in one of his hidey holes do not touch him or lift him out. He needs to feel his privacy is sacrosanct at such times.

Also provide high up places for him e.g. shelves, or the top of a cupboard (make sure he can get up and down safely from perhaps a cat tree placed along side.

If you have only had him a few days he is best confined to one room for now, as it will help him feel safer. Spend a lot of time in the room with him, chat to him, and as you have been doing sit on the floor. Reading out loud to him (poetry is good ) in a gentle upbeat voice, will help him get used to the sound of your voice.

If he comes towards you and is near enough, stroke him a little, but don't pick him up. He needs to trust you first before you do that, and it may take weeks to reach that stage.

Pull a piece of string slowly towards you whilst you sit on the floor and see if he will approach you. Put treats on the floor to tempt him. Be patient, progress must be at his own pace.

Leave a radio on when you go out, so he has some company.


----------



## ddonn (Aug 25, 2015)

Thank you for the advice chillminx. I will certainly give them a go. It's just a little heartbreaking to hear him cry so much and see him so nervous but I'm sure we'll be best of friends very soon


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Yes, I can imagine it is upsetting to see. It is quite likely he is crying because he's missing his mum and his siblings. With timid kittens it can be better to get two siblings together so they have each other for comfort. Would it be practical [or possible] for you to adopt one of his siblings too so he has some feline companionship?

Just a thought.


----------



## ddonn (Aug 25, 2015)

Hi @chillminx

Just thought I'd let you know how Dexter is getting on. He is doing well and seems quite happy. He is playing about a lot and now comes into the living room as well. I got him a cat house which he really likes to climb to the top of and the crying has virtually stopped. I purchased a diffuser which I think has done the trick.

Unfortunately he is still nervous around me and hisses at me when I get too close and it's not on his terms! Hopefully this will stop in the future when he gains more confidence.


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Pleased to hear he is happier  Keep doing what you're doing, let him set the pace and he will relax and trust you in time.


----------



## ddonn (Aug 25, 2015)

Right so @chillminx seeing that you gave such good advice about my kitten - who is now a dream and has accepted me, can I ask another question?
He has started following me upstairs and has done so tonight as I'm going to bed. I'm unsure whether he is ready to stay with me all night. He has been happily staying in the kitchen at night so I don't know whether to disrupt his routine. I would have to keep him in the room as he's still not safe to given free run of the house. Should I leave him downstairs?

Thanks again


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Hi @ddonn, I'm very pleased to hear your kitten has made great progress, and is now much more confident with you! That is good news! 

If you feel kitty is not yet safe or confident to be given free run of the house then I would keep settling him downstairs at night for the moment. If he is shut in your bedroom with your overnight, you are going to need litter trays, water and food for him in the bedroom, and not everyone likes that idea. Also it's possible kitty could become restless in the night, and with the door shut he may start scratching to get out and disturb you.

I think if you leave him at bedtime with a tasty supper of wet food to eat just as you go off to bed, he will be happy with that.


----------



## ddonn (Aug 25, 2015)

Thank You!


----------

