# does my cat like me?



## alanad98 (Sep 23, 2008)

my male cat mr jinks is 1 years old at the end of sept and was neutured in april. at first when he was a kitten he would always show me affection and would always come to me on the sofa etc. after a few months he began showin more attention to my boyfriend as in goin to him when he calls and cuddling up to him. its really getting me down as everytime i enter the room i give him fuss an he walks away an goes straight to my boyfriend!!! is it because i give off a female smell or something? i really dont no wot to do and the best of it is i was the one who wanted him in the first place not my boyfriend!!! all i want to do is give him a love lol 
please help


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## Guest (Sep 24, 2008)

That is the thing with cats! You can't always guarantee how affectionate they will be or become as they grow. 

People do seem to have this image that all cats are extremely affectionate and love to sit on your lap all the time and accept cuddles whenever. Personally... I have met 1 cat like that out of the MANY I have known.

Cats are very independent. Most of the time cuddles and affection is on their terms, not yours. Unlike a dog, who is willing to have attention and cuddles pretty much 24/7!

Some cats are affectionate at first, then as they grow they get less cuddly or some are the opposite. I do personally find the males to be more cuddly and likely to be a lap cat.

I do also find with some cats that they choose a specific person who they give all their attention to and allow them to give it back. 

I also feel it can depend on the breed. I have Ragdolls, they are affectionate little creatures, such big softies! but are generally cuddly towards the whole house hold... not just one particular person.

Each cat is an individual... they are not like dogs who are in a way quite predictable with affection, attention and cuddles.

I wouldn't take it to heart. It's just the way it goes with cats sometimes. I highly doubt it's because he doesn't like you! you would soon know it if he didn't lol, let's just put it that way.

Cats, they are great animals to have... convenient etc, but can break your heart when they don't share the love


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## Biawhiska (Mar 28, 2008)

Prehaps ignoring him may help. Pretend you're not interested and he may come to you for love. Most of mine see me as the tin opener only and all end up sitting on my boyfriend!


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## potatoes (Sep 11, 2008)

alanad98 said:


> my male cat mr jinks is 1 years old at the end of sept and was neutured in april. at first when he was a kitten he would always show me affection and would always come to me on the sofa etc. after a few months he began showin more attention to my boyfriend as in goin to him when he calls and cuddling up to him. its really getting me down as everytime i enter the room i give him fuss an he walks away an goes straight to my boyfriend!!! is it because i give off a female smell or something? i really dont no wot to do and the best of it is i was the one who wanted him in the first place not my boyfriend!!! all i want to do is give him a love lol
> please help


Male bonding lol... Learn the offside rule?  I seriously don't know...you could try wearing some of your boyfriends clothes? Does he feed your cat? That may be it...try bribery and giving him stuff he likes. Don't know about the "female smell" as I read cats are attracted to female hormones...or the opposite...can't remember. I think cats make their own decisions...get a female cat so you can compare the two?


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## silly gilly (Apr 7, 2008)

I bet your boyfriend doesnt fuss him, in my limited knowledge of cats they always seem to go for people who ignore them, perhaps you could completely ignore him and see what he does.


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## suzy93074 (Sep 3, 2008)

Hi, My cat (called Jinksy!) has always come to me for cuddles and love and my OH for playing - my OH moans that he always comes to me more than him - he seems to think that when we picked him up (8wks old) because I had him with me in back of car he kind of bonded with me more - Plus i'm the one who feeds him! that has a lot to do with it. Also i did find that once neutered he became even more affectionate, just keep persevering! givin him lots of love and attention he will soon come round


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## mattyh (Apr 15, 2008)

Cats are a funny breed, they'll only ever do things they want.

I'm Lotties clear favourite, whereas Leo loves us both equally. Lottie will rarely sit on either of our laps, but will sit in my arms  Leo will sit on either of us, but only when he feels like it!


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## SeaThreePeeO (Sep 15, 2008)

Simple, get rid of the boyfriend  *Joking*

That's cats I'm afraid. I pestered my DH for a cat for ages and when he finally gave in there was me with visions of this loving affectionate ball of fluff that would sit on my lap purring while I stroked him foir hours.

In fact it is quite the opposite. During the times he is not trying to detach my limbs from the rest of my body he only tollerates me. The only time he will show anything that would slightly pass as affection is when he is hungry. But I love him all the same.

He's fine with the children and pretends my husband doesn't exsist.

I guess the only thing you can do is keep trying with him and accept that you may not be his favourite person.


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## twinkles (Aug 8, 2008)

Dee has does this a little bit - since being spayed on Friday see seems to be loving Mark more than me whereas before I was always her favourite. Not sure how it will pan out, I am just trying not to push it with her, taking the slightly ignoring her route and seeing how it goes. Might all change again once she has healed and also with a kitten on the way to us. Do think it might be partly because I was the nasty one who took her to the vet etc etc.

x


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## Guest (Sep 25, 2008)

I have 2 moggies exactly the same!!! One is a boy and he would always run away from me if I tried to get him in from outside...so I stopped calling him to come in and ignored him if he saw me outside! He now sits by the door crying if I don't let him in quick enough!!!

The other one is our female moggie but she has only been like it with me since I took her to the vets a couple of weeks ago when she was really unwell. I am guessing it's going to take her a while to get over that one!!!

Just persevere and don't get stressed over it as I'm sure that cats can sense that sort of thing!

Louise
X


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## KitCats (Sep 5, 2008)

I had a similar problem with an old cat called Bailey. She was lovely and bought for me as a present. She always did prefer my partner though, to the point that when he moved out she went with him. 
Some cats do prefer a particular sex, Bailey loved me when we first got her and did till we got her speyed, I often wonder if she blamed me somehow LOL! Cats are the most independent of creatures I know, I'm sure Mr Jinx does love you, he may just prefer male company to female. Try giving him some extra bits of chicken etc and treats. I often find with my cats when they want my hubby more than me that treats work best - you can't beat the 'can opener/cupboard lover' approach!!


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## missyme (May 28, 2008)

my female cat is 3 and she will only ever cuddle me when i am in bed and only for about 10 mins strictly on her terms if my o/h comes to bed at the same time she wont even come in the room , even though he is the 1 who dishes out the treats she just ignores him unless he is giving her a treat.


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## PussyCatNan (Jun 24, 2008)

Ignore her and pretend you've an allergy to her ....cats love people who are allergic to them I had 2 friends visit a couple of weeks ago, 1 who was allergic, the other wasnt...Taz took a real liking to the allergic 1 and wouldn't leave her alone  btw it doesn't matter, i feed taz, clean his litter tray etc etc he still chooses my sons bed to sleep on altho he does choose him as a scratch post too so thats fine


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## Janee (May 4, 2008)

PussyCatNan said:


> Ignore her and pretend you've an allergy to her ....cats love people who are allergic to them I had 2 friends visit a couple of weeks ago, 1 who was allergic, the other wasnt...Taz took a real liking to the allergic 1 and wouldn't leave her alone  btw it doesn't matter, i feed taz, clean his litter tray etc etc he still chooses my sons bed to sleep on altho he does choose him as a scratch post too so thats fine


Apparently people who are not keenon cats don't try to make eye contact with them - they look away and past the cat.

Cats find direct eye contact confrontational.



> Humans love eye contact - it is friendly. For a cat, prolonged eye contact is an assertive, or even threatening, signal. The classic case is when several people are in a room for a social occasion and the host's cat walks in. It unerringly goes towards the person who doesn't like cats. Is it simply being perverse? The answer is in eye contact. Cat lovers will be watching the cat, hoping it goes to greet them. Those who don't particularly like cats will ignore it, hoping it will leave them alone. For the cat, the eye contact made by the cat lovers is somewhat threatening. It avoids them. The people who don't particularly like cats are not making eye contact - to the cat, they are signalling that they pose no threat. They are being polite in cat terms, so it goes to socialise with them.


Full article can be read here:

CAT COMMUNICATION


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## sskmick (Feb 4, 2008)

I have two moggies brothers who are complete opposites.

Sweep demands attention from me and will still jump up and climb on me (he thinks I'm a cat tree - bless). This morning I was combing my hair and he climbed straight up my legs, back and laid across my shoulders. He's a heavy cat at almost 6 months and claws like daggers yes its painful, but love hurts. 

Sooty will prefer to bound away from me, occasionally he will choose to sit on my lap but it isn't often.

Sue


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## Kaztee (Sep 29, 2008)

Cats are individuals and will often form attachments to certain people but you can help the situation by encouraging him to bond with you. You are making him feel slightly uncomfortable by always going to him and fussing him you have to back off more, it's so much better if they make the first move towards you, probably why he's more relaxed with your other half.

Try tempting rewards, little pieces of ham work well, when he's near you and making gentle encouraging sounds, he's got to start associating you with something good and not negative. With patience and love I'm sure your cat will start to respond more positively towards you, wishing you the very best of luck.


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