# Please help - 10 month old cat driving us crazy



## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

We've had our cat, Phoebe, since she was a few weeks old. She has always been very vocal but we thought/hoped she would grow out of it. Lately, it's been getting so much worse.

She will meow 3-4 times in the night, waking us up (she sleeps downstairs with the run of the lounge and kitchen. I've tried her sleeping in the bedroom but she just plays all night, knocking things over etc) She will sit at the bottom of the stairs and meow constantly for about 10-15 minutes during the night, 3-4 times.

During the day, if she isn't in the room with you, she meows to come in. We let her in, she meows to go back into a different room (we keep the doors shut to the room we are in). 

She also bites. She'll come to you for fuss, you fuss her, then she suddenly bites or scratches you. She was ok with me, but she started her first season on the 4th and since then she is just as bad, if not worse, with me.

She does not go outside which we know is probably half the problem - but she is a VERY nervous cat (just shutting the door scares her, sudden movements etc) 

Please help. We love her to bits but we are getting to the stage of thinking of re-homing her, which is not what we want.


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## koekemakranka (Aug 2, 2010)

Is she spayed? If not, get her done asap.


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

Since she isn't spayed yet it's just as well she doesn't go out - she would get pregnant. Please spay her ASAP as a first step and see how she settles down.


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

Back in the old days - we had a cat like this - supposedly 1/2 main coon (not on your life was she) - but a vicious little minx. We didn't get her spayed until a year - and she calmed down amazingly afterwards.


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## Cookieandme (Dec 29, 2011)

I had lived on my own for a long time before I got my cat, doors were always shut (keeps the heat in) but now there isn't a closed door in my house. I have door stops in the lounge and my bedroom so I can have it mostly closed but enough room for kitties to come and go. I did install a catflap but it has never been used.

How many weeks was a few weeks old ? could the biting be because she was socialised by her mother and no definitely don't let her out until she has been spayed.


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

It's also worth pointing out that spaying not only prevents pregnancy and may well calm her down, it greatly reduces her risk of breast cancer in the future and more or less eliminates the risk of pyometra. The fewer times a cat calls the lower her risk of breast cancer.


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

I think I have only met one single cat in my whole life that I would say I actively disliked.
She was an indoor only girl and looking back I am now sure that all her irritating behaviour was down to the fact that the poor thing was left unspayed.
Get her neutered before you think anymore about rehoming her.


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

Well she is getting spayed on Wednesday but we are not hopeful that the constant noise will stop. She wakes us up 2-3 times a night with loud meowing. She will scrape at doors until she is let in to where she wants to go - even in wardrobes. 

Surely spaying is not going to stop this behaviour??


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

When she's calling (season, heat) she will be extra noisy and extra demanding and spaying will deal with that. She's also more than old enough for spaying for the other reasons I outlined - I have never left my own cats until 10 months, have had them done at 5 months or so.

You also say:



> she started her first season on the 4th and since then she is just as bad (re biting), if not worse, with me.


It will help. It might not turn her into what you wish she was, but it will calm her down.


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## cats galore (Jul 17, 2012)

spaying makes a hell of a difference - same as neutering a tom. i cannot understand anyone not having their cat spayed/neutered as it makes them far quieter and a lot more loving.


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## chloe1975 (Mar 17, 2013)

Spaying her will more than likely help calm her down.

Is she left on her own a lot? If she is you might consider getting another cat for company. I won't sell a kitten to a new home unless I can be sure that either they are not going to be left alone for long periods or that they have another cat for company.

Also re shutting doors. Is there a particular reason you keep all the doors shut? We leave all our doors open inside with doorstops so cats and kittens are free to go where they like. Cats don't like being confined to one room especially if they can hear people in another. At night you might want to consider making sure the light is on as some cats don't seem to like the dark (I have several like this) and also when left on their own to put a radio or tv on in with them.


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## Misi (Jul 13, 2009)

All of my cats have hated closed doors. Tarka used to go round and open them all where he could, including cupboards. His theme song was "Don't fence me in". Simba occasionally pees outside the spare bedroom or the studio if the doors are shut .

Spaying and being a bit more relaxed with the doors should make loads of difference.


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

I can never shut myself into a room, any room, without at least one of the cats scratching at the door and yammering away. They simply want to be where I am, or at least have the _possibility_ to be where I am in case they would wish to.....

I think it is a combination of her feeling lonely and being in heat. Un-neutered cats seem to be more vocal, even outside the mating season. But when the girls are in heat, unneutered cats, both males and females, will drive you absolutly potty....

There may also be a behavioural issue if she was taken from her mother any younger than 12 weeks. She may still need the reassurance she would have had from her mother, and not been socialized enough to become a self-assured, independent cat. If she came to you at a very young age, she looks upon you as a surrogate mother, and will crave your attention.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

My male likes going out at night and my female will happily stay down in the living room with the door shut on a night. They are both spayed/neutered.


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## AlfonzPig (Mar 30, 2013)

If your cat is only 10 months old and young when you got her it may be a likely possibility that she cries at night when you are sleeping because she is alone, our cat is the absolute worst when we close her out of the bedroom, but is we leave our door open, she calms right down.

Not to be a negative Nelly here but re-homing your cat just puts your problem on someone else. My cat ambush attacks everyone but my boyfriend, but we just work around the problem by making sure we let her know that her actions are not allowed.

If you leave your bedroom door open and ignore her crying, she should eventually realize that her people are sleeping and she can't have their attention, does she have lots of toys? I found putting a stuffed animal somewhere for my cat made her feel a little more comfortable, she could rub against it and play as well as curl up to it to feel comfortable sleeping. I also leave a piece of my clothing that I wore that day somewhere for her to sleep on, it comforts cats to be by their people sometimes and your smell will become something she likes and she wont attack as much ( at least it slowed my cat up a bit)


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## drobinson96 (Apr 3, 2013)

The answer probably is to spay her! 
Additionally do not let her out at all  
Good luck, hope you and kitty is well


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

This is what it says on the FAB website:

"In the past it has been suggested that all female cats should be allowed to have one litter of kittens. However, this is totally unnecessary and of no benefit whatsoever to the cat. It is therefore preferable to have a female spayed before she reaches sexual maturity. Once sexual maturity is reached, the cat will begin to come into season or 'call'. Cycles of sexual activity typically occur every three weeks, and *when a cat is 'calling', as its name implies, this can be a very noisy affair! *"

So, yes, spaying can help calm down a female cat. I would have had her spayed months ago.


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

We are now two weeks post-spay and her behaviour has not changed one bit. She is biting us all the time. You can't stroke her for more than a minute before she turns around and bites.

So now what?


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

it'll take longer than that for the behaviour to change, give it a good 6-8 weeks. The hormones will still be there.


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

When you interact with her, observe her carefully.
You will probably be able to see when she has had enough.
The position of the ears will change, and her eyes and the expression on her face, too.

When her face or posture starts changing, don't wait for her to lash out, but stop caressing her. It is her way of saying she has had enough. Once she understands you respect her signals, she may become more friendly.

The reduction in hormones over the coming weeks will help calming her down, too, hopefully. This is the problem when spaying a cat that has reached sexual maturity, she was full of hormones and it takes time for them to get out of her system.


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

She was spayed exactly one month ago on March 27th. Her behaviour has just got worse! Last night, she bit so hard it drew blood in a number of places and just a few minutes ago she has done the same. I am not talking nipping,this is full on biting. 

Please help us. We love her to bits but cannot carry on like this.


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

You said you had her from a few weeks old - so that implies to me she was perhaps taken away from her mum far too early - mum usually teaches the kittens what's acceptable and what's not! Spaying won't calm her down overnight - it will calm her down but she will still have the hormones in her system at this point - so you need to give her another two or 3 months before you see a big difference.

In the meantime just observe her behaviour and when you see "that look" walk away!

Sorry can't remember whether you have tried some Feliway diffusers - if you haven't then well worth a go.


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

She was 9 weeks old when we had her! Hardly young.


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

9 weeks * is * young, have you tried zylkene, you can get off the internet or from your vets,
I used it on a cat that was a pain when a new cat came on the scene,it calmed her down a lot,she was growling and fling at him through the glass door everytime he appeared,it worked wonders


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

The problem is that kittens learn not to be too fierce in playfighting from their mother and litter mates, and most of this is learned in the period between 8 and 16 weeks. So if you take a cat away from their litter before 12 weeks, they have missed out on weeks of training on social interaction and chances are they have not learned the difference between playing and fighting, and will use their claws and teeth full on in every encounter.

I have one girl that was found motherless at a camp site at 6 weeks, and she is by far the fiercest of my brood. If we want her to get off the table or if we want to sit on the chair she is sitting or sleeping on, she will turn on us. She is improving, but sometimes she still forgets herself, so we are still educating her on proper behaviour. We have learned how to stay out of reach of her claws, and we gently but firmly tell AND show her we are not impressed and we do not accept her attacks.


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## Thursdays child (Apr 28, 2013)

Hi,
As well as spaying, which is a great idea, you should think a bit about how your cat is training you. When she feels lonely at night, she has trained you to give her attention by her calling out. It might be hard for a while to ignore her but responding to her at night just rewards the very behaviour that you don't want. Give her a bit more time to grow up and learn the house rules before you give up on her.


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## catcoonz (Aug 4, 2012)

This will sound crazy but when the cat goes to bite you, say no firmly then distract with a toy, if you keep repeating this it will work, ive done this with a rescue cat and he is very calm and placid now.

Not sure where abouts you are but if you need any help let me know.


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## Ang2 (Jun 15, 2012)

I do think the OP's need to start looking for a new home where someone is willing to accept this cat without finding her behaviour irritating. Some of mine would scratch at doors to get in the same room as me, which is why all my doors are left open. Some are also quite vocal and some don't like being petted except on their terms. All cats have their own personality and you cant predict what that will be when acquiring a kitten.

So MonkeyB, where abouts are you and is your cat a moggy or a specific breed?


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

I would not think about rehoming just yet, but you do need to invest some serious time in educating the little one in proper behaviour, the way a mother cat would do. 
You have been given some good advice by several breeders, but you need to be consistent in discouraging unwanted behaviour and offering an alternative.


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Monkeybum, it sounds as though your cat is very on edge and agitated much of the time, and this is why she suddenly turns on you and bites. Some of this may be due to hormones, and as others have said, you need to allow her several months for hormone levels to fall, and see if this results in a calmer kitty.

Meanwhile I would, without delay, put her on a course of Zylkene, as someone else suggested. It is great stuff for calming agitated cats. Not a drug but a supplement, available online from pet pharmacies, or from your vet. The capsules are opened and the powder mixed with food. Cats find it palatable.

The other thing is kitty needs safe outlets where she can express her pent up tension. Keep to hand all the time one of these wonderful toys called a "Kickeroo". Most cats love them!

Kong Kickeroo Pattern 1: Amazon.co.uk: Pet Supplies

As you go to stroke kitty have the Kickeroo ready, and if she turns to bite immediately give her the Kickeroo. You can even play with her by keeping hold of the end of the Kickeroo and having a *gentle* "tug of war" with her whilst she bites and kicks it. Keep all your play with her gentle, as you are teaching her this is the right way to behave.

Provide her with several safe climbing opportunities, such as tall cat trees (ensure they are stable and do not wobble if she throws herself at them), and maybe also some shelving put on the walls such as these ideas:

Yahoo! Image Search Results for shelving cats

The shelves give her different heights to sit, which cats love.

At her young age she still needs a lot of entertainment, so set aside some time every single evening for energetic interactive play with her. 
(energetic for your cat i.e.) Use fishing rod toys such as Da Bird, or wands with feathers on, or a laser pen. Get her really running around.

As several others have said, do not shut internal doors in the daytime. Most cats hate being shut away from their human companions. So, get some doorstops so you can push your doors to, leaving just enough room for your cat to get through. For conserving heat this is almost as good as having the door shut. In any case Spring is here now, so no more need (we hope) for conserving heat until the end of summer.

At bedtime you need to develop a routine with her. Once she gets used to it she will be fine. Have some play with her about an hour before bedtime, then at bedtime give her a nice tasty bowl of wet food for her supper. Then shut her into one large room downstairs, with her litter tray, water and bedding. Either the sitting room or the kitchen (if your kitchen is a fair size). If you want you can put a classical radio station on very quietly, as cats do find gentle classical music soothing. Do *not* have the TV on. Dim the lights, and sit quietly in a chair ignoring your kitty. Soon she will start settling down for a sleep. When she is asleep you can tiptoe out of the room, turning off the lights as you go, and shutting the door behind you. Then shut yourself into your bedroom.

If she does miaow it is doubtful it will disturb you through 2 doors, but in any case I promise you she will give up after a few nights, as long as you keep strictly to the routine. After about a week of training you will be able to just give her supper and then shut her in the room leaving her to settle her for the night, without you needing to sit with her until she is asleep.

The other thing to have a look at is her diet. What are you feeding her? Some cats and kittens can be irritable, bad tempered or quick to bite, if on the wrong diet. Do not feed her dry food as it is full of carbs and causes sharp fluctuations in blood sugar which can affect a cats behaviour adversely.

Feed her a wet food diet, high in meat protein. Avoid the supermarket foods as they are full of grains, fillers and additives.

[email protected] sell Hilife Natures Essentials, which is high in meat protein without any cereals. Cats do not need cereals, & cannot digest them.

Or have a look online at sites such as The Happy Kitty Company (thehappykittycompany.co.uk) or Zooplus (Pet Supplies, Pet Food, Dog Food, Cat Food and Pet Accessories at Zooplus) who sell good quality high meat protein, grain free wet foods at better prices than supermarket foods, if you buy in bulk. Zooplus even has free shipping if your order is more than £19.

Also ensure she is getting enough to eat. At her age she is growing fast and needs a lot of nourishment. I'd feed her 4 times a day, and give her as much as she will eat until she is fully grown (at 2.5 to 3 yrs). Most cats regulate their own intake and do not get overweight on the right kind of food.

Finally, you say that you think she would be better if she could go out. At 10 months, now she is spayed, and assuming she is microchipped and vaccinated she is about the age where she could go out, providing of course you live in a safe area. If not, then how about cat proofing your garden with fences that she can't climb over? There is a sticky on the boards, giving info about this. Or at least you could build her a cat run off the house, so she can get some fresh air and watch the birds.

I seriously recommend using these suggestions, so as to socialise kitty better, as a companion, whether you ultimately decide to re-home her.. The fact is you would not easily be able to re-home her with her present behaviour, as you would need to be upfront with any prospective new owner as to what the problems are, and this may be off-putting for them.

Good luck, please let us know how you get on?


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

Thursdays child - we have never given into her in the night. She cries 2-3 times a time. We ignore her.

Catcoonz - we don't get any warning. She just bites.

Ang2 - I'm sorry but would you not find being bitten for no reason irritating??

I am laughing at the idea of her giving up crying after a few nights. 8 months on and nothing has changed. she goes to bed fine, its when she wakes up in the night she cries.


It;s her first birthday today


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Did you not read my detailed reply yet? 

To reiterate -- if she is shut in a room over night with her litter tray, bedding, water, toys, and you are shut away in your bedroom sleeping then you are not going to hear her if she cries, and she will eventually realise you are not going to come and let her out until you are ready.

The system has worked with every cat I know of it has been tried with *consistently* so I can't see why it wouldn't work with your cat.

If you already made up your mind nothing will work, then I am afraid all the behavioural management advice in the world is not going to help.


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

chillminx yes, thank you for you reply. I really appreciate it.

She is left in the lounge/kitchen (there is no door between the two) with her litter tray etc. She has been left that way since we had her back in July. We hear her. Every time. There is a door at the bottom of the stairs and she sits there and cries. There is no other plaec to shut her in other than the bathroom which would be cruel.


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

Have you tried giving her a teddy or an item of your clothing to cuddle up to?


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

No, she has started playing with a teddy recently. Will try her with that tonight. Thanks! She has hundreds of toys but doesn't play with them.


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

Also try leaving a radio on on a talking channel (like radio 4).


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

Thought I'd show you a picture of her.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

that's the kinda look you'll get interrupting a girl from licking!
My male cat goes out at night as he uses the cat flap so he's free to come back in for shelter if need be. Only very recently as we've started to get lighter mornings at the weekends when I sleep in I might hear him, usually I get up at 5 on a weekday so he doesn't have to wait too long, but I usually just ignore him and he soon stops.


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

Oh I meant to add regarding letting her out. We have been trying for about 2 weeks now but she is not interested. We will open the back door, she'll have a sniff at the air and occasionally steps outside but soon runs back in scared.


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

monkeybum said:


> Oh I meant to add regarding letting her out. We have been trying for about 2 weeks now but she is not interested. We will open the back door, she'll have a sniff at the air and occasionally steps outside but soon runs back in scared.


She sounds very sensible! ANd she is a very pretty tortie tabby!


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

On a warm day leave it open and she'll get more confident that way. Thats what I did with my two


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

We really do appreciate everyones replies, we're just very frustrated that nothing seems to be working. She had a teddy with her last night but she meowed just as normal. I'd happily have her in my room if she would sleep, but she gets into drawers and opens the wardrobe door etc meaning she'll wake me up just the same!


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## moggiemum (Mar 28, 2013)

its
a phase and dont worry it will pass , my boy used to sleep all day and 
try to keep me up all night, now he s more in tune with me and i
keep him happy and involved until bedtime,good luck


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## monkeybum (Mar 15, 2013)

moggiemum said:


> its
> a phase and dont worry it will pass , my boy used to sleep all day and
> try to keep me up all night, now he s more in tune with me and i
> keep him happy and involved until bedtime,good luck


Hmm a phase that has so far lasted almost her entire life?


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

She is still a kitten really - once she reaches proper adult hood she may grow out of it - however, you are dealing with a habit here and it's not going to stop over night. DO everything you have been suggested, teddy, T-shirt with your smell on, radio etc and what others have suggested and wear ear plugs. Eventually, EVENTUALLY as she grows she will stop. 

One last suggestion is to get her a friend to play with!

EDIT: I haven't read the whole thread - but do you feed her very last thing at night after an exhausting play session? That should help as well.


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## Satori (Apr 7, 2013)

monkeybum said:


> We really do appreciate everyones replies, we're just very frustrated that nothing seems to be working. She had a teddy with her last night but she meowed just as normal. I'd happily have her in my room if she would sleep, but she gets into drawers and opens the wardrobe door etc meaning she'll wake me up just the same!


Sorry if I have missed this earlier in the thread but I can tell you that blackout curtains made a big difference for us. All three kittens now sleep through the night but when we used to allow light into the room they would pounce on us at 4am. Yes, I know they can see quite well in the dark but they seem to have formed an association that lights-out means bed-time.


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## anjo19 (Nov 17, 2012)

I'm sorry that you are struggling so much. I'm not experienced with cats so can't offer much advice except that once we got Bella spayed and changed her food she became much more content. She usually sleeps at the bottom of our bed and will sleep through the night. We found the key (very hard to do at first) was ignore her if she tried to get our attention. Pulling the duvet over my head at times was the only way! The Flying Frenzy is also brilliant. She loves pre-bed playtime. 

She used to bite too; luckily only nips not proper biting. It would be if you tried to move her or if she'd had enough stroking. She used to roll on the floor and show her belly - I'd always been told that if they show you their belly its a sign of trust and you can gently stroke it. How wrong that was. She would bite. I was nervous about touching her which I think rubbed off on her. OH has had cats before and had to train me to stand my ground too. If she bit us we used to give her a very firm NO and not withdraw our hands (I failed at this as I'd always flinch but OH was always firm and didn't wimp out). We would then pick her up and put her on the floor away from us and ignore her for a while. 

She does from time to time need to know who is boss but a NO or a single hand clap lets her know who boss is. I'm also pleased to say that she has just rolled on the floor and showed me her belly......she now lets me touch it! I have learnt to respect that she doesn't really like it so it's just a single stroke but it's progress.


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

MonkeyB -- wow, what a gorgeous looking kitty!:001_wub: I love her!
She is a tortie and they are known for having loads of personality as well as a strong will. . This is not to say she is untrainable but just that (as you have discovered) you need to persevere more than you would have to with some cats

Satori makes a good point about blackout-lined curtains. My cats have always woken early if they can see the morning light coming in to the room. When I changed to curtains with blackout lining the room stayed dark, and the cats stayed asleep until I got up in the morning. Worth a try....

I do think if she could go out in the daytime she would use up lots more energy and settle better at night. As Wiz said, if you leave your back door open when it's warm your cat will gradually become brave and curious enough to investigate the outdoors.

One other thought is that *a hungry cat is a wakeful cat*, and it could be hunger causing her to wake you so early. Could you try leaving her a meal of her favourite wet food in an auto-feeder, timed to open at around 3.30 am? The chances are she will eat the food and then snooze until you get up. I found this resolved the problem completely with one cat I had who cried every morning at 4 am. (Leaving out dry food is not the answer though).

I am sure something that's been suggested will help let us have feedback and we can continue trying to help you.


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