# Someone elses cat is making himself at home in my flat



## dazed&confused (Dec 1, 2008)

Hi

I moved to a new flat three months ago.

Soon after I moved in I noticed a very friendly tabby cat who would often be sitting near the front security gate.

I love cats and petted him a couple of times. Since then he has got more and more bold and is now spending quite a lot of time in my flat. I let him in and feed him when I get home from work, or when he meeows outside my front door.

The owner lives a couple of doors down. I know he's looked after and well fed because he doesn't always eat food that I put down for him. But he doesn't have a cat flap and it looks like the owner isn't always there to let him in and out.

I'm now getting quite worried because he's staying overnight and is wanting to come in every evening. I think the owners might be worried about him, wondering where he is.

What should I do? I guess I shouldn't let him in any more but it seems so cruel when the weather is really bad like it is now.


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## Janee (May 4, 2008)

If it was my cat I certainly would be really worried if my cat did not come home at night even if he turned up OK during the next day.

You obviously are pretty sure that you have identified the owner - why not either knock on the door and explain or if you feel a bit nervous about that write a really friendly note explaining and pop it through the letterbox.

You want to be really careful that you don't come across suggesting 'bad owner'. Personally I think what you have written here is great - just a tweak or two.

You want to do what is best for the cat and the owner probably wants to do that too. If the owner is away a lot they might be grateful that cat has found a secure and happy place to be.

The problem is that cats can just decide to move owners....not your fault but by letting in and feeding there is encouragement.....

So might be best to come to an arrangemetn with owner - I'll shut up now I am repeating myself


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## pinkbutterflys (Nov 18, 2008)

id speak to the owner, if you dont mind having him there then there shouldnt be a problem...


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## big cat (Nov 6, 2008)

Let him in and stay as he wishes. Cats are smart enough to know where the grass is greener. If the owner is out, does not have a catflap, they might choose to shut him in. That will probably cause problems for the cat. 

If people let their cats go out, as is often the case, then the cat is free to do as he wants. Animals do not understand "ownership". If they meet someone whose home and company they prefer, then that's it. 

Someone else's cat used to come sit in my garden for hours on end. I did not feed the cat(he seemed healthy) but he seemed happy to be in MY garden. To the cat it is just a piece of land, and he was happy enough to be away from "his" owner's garden.

Also he was a very shy cat, if he had been friendly, I would have let him in.


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## MADCAT (Nov 21, 2008)

I would speak to the owner as well, i use to have a cat that did this at my old house, i spoke to the owner and she was fine she said the cat went round to lots of peoples houses, i use to take her back home after i had given her a fuss.
I would def speak to them though as they will most probably be worried about her i would be. xx


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## dazed&confused (Dec 1, 2008)

Some good advice there. I'll raise the subject (in a sensative way) with the owner to see how they feel about it.

Many Thanks


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## Soupie (Sep 2, 2008)

Having to bite my tongue here but why did you "adopt" a cat who you know has an owner who feeds it and cares for it etc etc? why encourage it and feed it etc? cats are opportunists and will always take a free meal or people waiting on them hand and foot ......

I think you ought to confess to the owner pretty sharpish what you have been doing - they may not be very happy so be prepared for that too. I would be furious if someone else had been feeding my cat and keeping it in overnight when they knew who owned it! Not to mention I would have been going frantic wondering where my cat was. 

I hope they can see you meant no harm and that this can be resolved.


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## big cat (Nov 6, 2008)

Soupie said:


> Having to bite my tongue here but why did you "adopt" a cat who you know has an owner who feeds it and cares for it etc etc? why encourage it and feed it etc? cats are opportunists and will always take a free meal or people waiting on them hand and foot ......
> 
> I think you ought to *confess *to the owner pretty sharpish what you have been doing - they may not be very happy so be prepared for that too. I would be furious if someone else had been feeding my cat and keeping it in overnight when they knew who owned it! Not to mention I would have been going frantic wondering where my cat was.
> 
> I hope they can see you meant no harm and that this can be resolved.


Confess? The cat has not been sold to a pirate, the cat has been fed and given a place to stay. The cat is an outdoor cat and it's better that people are sympathetic, caring and kind. An outdoor cat can't be accounted for each minute of the day. Outdoor cats and "ownership" don't go together. If you had a dog and you left him to truant around the neighbourhood, someone would end up feeding or allowing him in if he appeared to want that. It's human nature to nurture animals in many cases. People put food out for birds, badgers, foxes, squirrels and other animals. It's really not a mystery why it's so appealing to feed or spend time with any cat or dog that happens to come to you. Also, if you show a cat affection, and the cat likes you, he will often jump through an open window and make himself at home. I have had cats do this, so really, unless people can "train" a cat to never ever visit another human's house, then this highly prized idea of ownership of an outdoor cat is not going to happen.

Cats also leave home to find a more suitable home if there have been changes in the old home such as a new pet, annoying children, lack of stimulus. If I had an outdoor cat I would not mind people feeding the cat or giving him some attention. If the cat was happy to be in their home, then what is there to complain about?


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## Janee (May 4, 2008)

Big Cat: There is a difference between feeding a wild animal (birds/squirrels etc etc) or even a semi feral cat and feeding a cat that is obviously owned and looked after.

The OP must have pangs of conscience that s/he is encouraging the cat to stay by feeding and letting it in and has asked advice. The sensible thing to do is discuss with the owner.

You can't care very much about your outdoor cats if you actively don't give a d+++n where they are spending their time and why the cat doesn't come when called or spends long periods away from home. Most owners would want to know and care.

On another cat forum there is this thread but from the owner's viewpoint:

the Cat Chat Feline Forum: Someone trying to take my cat.

You have to scroll to the bottom and read up.


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## big cat (Nov 6, 2008)

Janee said:


> Big Cat: There is a difference between feeding a wild animal (birds/squirrels etc etc) or even a semi feral cat and feeding a cat that is obviously owned and looked after.


What is this difference?



> The OP must have pangs of conscience that s/he is encouraging the cat to stay by feeding and letting it in and has asked advice. The sensible thing to do is discuss with the owner.


That may be so, he/she has not said so. There is no need for guilt or shame in my opinion. You cannot "own" any animal who is free to travel the neighbourhood.



> You can't care very much about your outdoor cats if you actively don't give a d+++n where they are spending their time and why the cat doesn't come when called or spends long periods away from home. Most owners would want to know and care.


Personal insults are not necessary. Your idea of "care" is not the same as mine. You also have no idea of what cats I have or don't have. As for me not giving a damn, I think you're mistaking me being logical about the situation. As for "most owners" would want to know and care- Wanting to know has nothing to do with how much you ever do know about where your cat is going or what your cat is doing.


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## big cat (Nov 6, 2008)

Janee said:


> Big Cat: There is a difference between feeding a wild animal (birds/squirrels etc etc) or even a semi feral cat and feeding a cat that is obviously owned and looked after.
> 
> The OP must have pangs of conscience that s/he is encouraging the cat to stay by feeding and letting it in and has asked advice. The sensible thing to do is discuss with the owner.
> 
> ...


I am sure every owner has different opinions on the matter, or are different opinions not allowed? Is it assumed that the opinion of one owner is then the accepted opinion of every cat owner in the world?


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## big cat (Nov 6, 2008)

Just for interest sake, here is another view on this matter. I don't think we need to argue about matters but when someone uses strong terms such as "confess", I think it's exaggerating the issue.

This whole matter is about ownership. As dog owners you have to keep your dog in your own property.

It's different with cats because the accepted view is that cats should be outdoor animals. However you can't control your cat the way you control a dog. You can train cats, I believe, but to a certain degree. I am open to other viewpoints on this.

I would say that it's more an issue that people feel threatened and worried. Rightly so, but unless your cat is an indoor cat, there are dangers out there. Traffic, disease, fights, predators as well as kindly people who also love cats or enjoy their company. It's these same people who _will_ bother to pick up a cat who has been run over. This might be your cat it happens to.

People also feel jealous or hurt that their pet or property is being loved and fed by other people. There may be fears and concerns that their cat is being fed too much or the wrong food. The same cat is probably also eating maggot-ridden roadkill or digging through people's waste.

This article is titled- "When it's outside, your cat is someone else's stray"
When it's outside, your cat is someone else's stray | Oakland Tribune | Find Articles at BNET
*
I have neighbors who know my cat belongs to me, yet they keep feeding her wet food which my vet has advised me is bad for her teeth.

I keep getting her collars with her name and my info, but I suspect they keep taking them off of her.

When I ask them not to feed her, they say "We feed all the strays and she is called Charcoal now, because you don't take care of her."

Dear Frustrated: It's pretty obvious that you at least have to keep her out of your neighbor's yard. As long as she's on their property, your cat is technically trespassing.

It sounds like they're saying that as long you let your cat come into their yard, they'll let her eat food they put out for the local strays.

There was a situation in an East Bay city some years ago where a man got tired of neighbor cats coming into his yard and defecating in his garden. So he got a live trap, baited it with cat food and took all the cats he caught down to the local animal shelter and said they were strays he caught in his yard. *


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## big cat (Nov 6, 2008)

quote:
*aw, i'm sorry about your cat, I should have three cats, my two "rescue" cats have left home, and they now live in the house opposite (long story, but while i was away at my parents house, my 2 cats must of got the hump!! and when i returned, they were living happily over the road!!! my boy cat always comes to say hello, my girl cat runs like hell when she see's me.. don't know why!!) I tried bringing them back home and keeping them in and feeding all kinds of treats, but they behaved like yours, constantly crying to go out etc, in the end i let them, they know where i live if they want to come back, and their new owners love them to bits.. what can you do?? it is upsetting though especially cos i choose those 2cats as they had been in the rescue center for so long and nobody had even looked at them cos they each have a deformity.. now they are spoiled for choice for homes!!! good luck hun, xx* Someone is feeding my cat and now he does not want to come home? - Yahoo! Answers


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## Siamese Kelly (Jan 6, 2008)

Janee said:


> Big Cat: There is a difference between feeding a wild animal (birds/squirrels etc etc) or even a semi feral cat and feeding a cat that is obviously owned and looked after.
> 
> The OP must have pangs of conscience that s/he is encouraging the cat to stay by feeding and letting it in and has asked advice. The sensible thing to do is discuss with the owner.
> 
> ...


What a load of rubbish Janee,people who let their cats free roam it could be said or debated can't care very much about them or can't have given it much thought maybe,most owners who have free roaming cats should i think be glad if their cat is visiting someone elses home,that it is someone such as bigcat and not some random idiot who would hurt this cat imoAm sorry but as has been said if you are slave to a free roaming cat and the worst that happens is he has warm shelter for the day,some cuddles and food etc then those slaves should be thanking their lucky stars that said cats are not being brought home splattered in a box,or at a vets draining their funds whilst fighting for it's life or poxing someone elses cat up and so and so on,so to put what you have given your info is to me a very one way view and lame view


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## Janee (May 4, 2008)

Siamese Kelly said:


> What a load of rubbish Janee,people who let their cats free roam it could be said or debated can't care very much about them or can't have given it much thought maybe,most owners who have free roaming cats should i think be glad if their cat is visiting someone elses home,that it is someone such as bigcat and not some random idiot who would hurt this cat imoAm sorry but as has been said if you are slave to a free roaming cat and the worst that happens is he has warm shelter for the day,some cuddles and food etc then those slaves should be thanking their lucky stars that said cats are not being brought home splattered in a box,or at a vets draining their funds whilst fighting for it's life or poxing someone elses cat up and so and so on,so to put what you have given your info is to me a very one way view and lame view


And, as always, you put the other view of indoor only, which in my opinion is totally unbalanced. :smile5:

I advocate outdoor-indoor cats because I live in an appropriate environment for it to be feasible to do. I do not lambast or insult those that advocate indoor only - in some circumstances it is the only way to keep a cat.

I have argued that most indoor/outdoor cat owners would care about their cat. It can be argued that in the UK the vast majority of cats are indoor/outdoor and live long and healthy lives without being victims of anything.


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## Siamese Kelly (Jan 6, 2008)

Janee said:


> And, as always, you put the other view of indoor only, which in my opinion is totally unbalanced. :smile5:


Yes of course i do,and i do have my views from experience and lessons learn't from both indoor and outdoor cats Janee,so no sorry but i know my opinions are different to others at times but not unbalanced at allThink it was a pretty la unbalanced, one sided view to put in your post what i quoted


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## Janee (May 4, 2008)

Siamese Kelly said:


> Yes of course i do,and i do have my views from experience and lessons learn't from both indoor and outdoor cats Janee,so no sorry but i know my opinions are different to others at times but not unbalanced at allThink it was a pretty la unbalanced, one sided view to put in your post what i quoted


So basically what you are saying is that ALL owners of cats who let them outside do not care about their cats and are 'bad' owners? Is that right Siamese Kelly???


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## big cat (Nov 6, 2008)

Two people I know have lost two outdoor cats _each _to road accidents. They weren't old cats either. Road safety and cats simply don't go together. Two weeks ago we were out on the roads and the car ahead only narrowly missed running over a black cat. The cat was very lucky because at the moment he escaped being run over, there was no oncoming traffic. If a car had been coming, he would have been finished. Where I live there are new dead animals on the roads almost daily. Hedgehogs, foxes, cats and badgers. There have been dead deer as well.


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## Siamese Kelly (Jan 6, 2008)

Janee said:


> So basically what you are saying is that ALL owners of cats who let them outside do not care about their cats and are 'bad' owners? Is that right Siamese Kelly???


Not at all Janee,have you actually read my posts in answering your post or have you just randomly started typing,please try to refrain from putting words in my posts that do not exist... i am more than capable of posting what i mean and standing by them,so no Janee that is not right


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## Siamese Kelly (Jan 6, 2008)

big cat said:


> Two people I know have lost two outdoor cats _each _to road accidents. They weren't old cats either. Road safety and cats simply don't go together. Two weeks ago we were out on the roads and the car ahead only narrowly missed running over a black cat. The cat was very lucky because at the moment he escaped being run over, there was no oncoming traffic. If a car had been coming, he would have been finished. Where I live there are new dead animals on the roads almost daily. Hedgehogs, foxes, cats and badgers. There have been dead deer as well.


A few of my reasons for advocating indoor cats BC


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## big cat (Nov 6, 2008)

Siamese Kelly said:


> A few of my reasons for advocating indoor cats BC


I don't think people mean to harm their cats by leaving them to roam freely. However I think it's such an ingrained idea that cats can _never _ be trained or be happy indoors, that it's difficult to discuss this matter. One of the people I know who lost two of her cats is unwilling to get another cat because she does not want to go through the whole misery of losing pets again. She is adamant that cats need to go out and explore.

Cats are hunters and they do diminish the bird population. Someone in a shop told me they don't like cats because they kill "everything". Well they don't kill everything but I realised that this person seemed certain that all cats are horrible killers. This leads to people disliking and then maybe harming cats?

It's not cheap to have pets, and that is exactly why it's odd to me that the pet is allowed to roam free. Nothing that is "free" can also be owned(like the way we own a dog or an object) I think. If I had outdoor cats being fed by someone else I would probably talk to them and we could actually work out a rota for the feeds; someone do morning and the other evening. It does not need to become so nasty and tense because I think it's wonderful if your pet is being looked after by not just yourself but by others.

I prefer cats being indoor cats, especially with this weather. I also don't want them contracting diseases or getting into fights.


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## dazed&confused (Dec 1, 2008)

To be honest I didnt even know that there were indoor cats so to speak or at the very least I didnt think they were commonplace.

All the cats Ive had have been indoor/outdoor cats. I think itd be a bit weird for them to be cooped up indoors all the time, arent cats supposed to roam around and wotnot. Although if you live in high rise apartment I guess its not practical. But if I lived in a high-rise or anywhere else not suitable for a cat I just wouldnt get a cat. Maybe some cats like being indoors.

Back to my OP. The cat hasnt been around for the last few days. I often see the owner so when I next see her Ill have a chat. I cant say I feel any guilt nor should I.

I wasnt trying to steal the cat. I was saving him from being in the cold and rain with no shelter.

The last two cats my parents have had, including the current one have been adoptees. They both lived on our street and found they got a better deal my parents house. Both the owners were fine about it, in fact the current cats old owner was quite pleased because he was aware that he was spending a lot of time away and was planning on living abroad during winter time. Both of them still visited the old owners and other houses in the street.


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## crystal (Nov 6, 2008)

I have the same thing ,cat comes in my house as the owners are out 14 hours a day and leave the cat out. They dont mind him coming into me for food, but unfortunately the cat now regards my house as home.The owner knocked on my door sunday and said have you seen my cat yes i said hes in my garden and gave it to him. I didnt want an argument but i would like to have said what do you expect if you leave him for all those hours he will find a new home.


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## kateds (Jul 4, 2010)

I have the situation where someone else is feeding my much loved ginger cat and allowing him to stay in their home. Yesterday, I had not seen him for 2 days and was very concerned but knew he went to the house so after walking the local roads calling, I went to the house. The woman there had also encouraged my other cat in a couple of years ago, but my son had spoken to her about that. (She denied knowing anything about this.) She appeared to find it amusing and said that he had been there half an hour earlier, that he came and went. I asked her not to encourage him by feeding him. She said she had to have her doors open and that she couldn't stop him from coming in. She had had a cat that died but now has a ginger cat of her own. I asked her again not to encourage him, she asked what was she to do to discourage him, kick him? I told her not to be ridiculous and to just stop feeding him and put him out if he wanders in. She told me to go away and worry about something else! ! ! and shut the door! At which point I rang the bell at quick 15 sec intervals until she opened it again. She just kept on telling me to go away - talking over me all the time - I was calmly trying to ask her how she would feel if it was her cat that went missing for 2 days and she found that someone else was feeding it and making him at home in their house. She told me to leave her alone, that her husband had had a stroke! (What this had to do with it I don't know) Obviously just not able to admit that she was in the wrong and was trying on the 'I'm so hard done by act'. I have to admit I did say "oh and you think you are the only one who has problems, what has that got to do with this?" And again she shut the door and I left, absolutely livid. The woman was wearing a smug grin and just would not listen. Such a futile conversation and she was absolutely unbending in her view. Even had the cheek to say he was always starving and was outside her house catching pigeons - well, not only is he fed but he is also a cat and very much a ginger cat at that, catchable creatures beware!

Feel a bit better now I written it out and he also came home late last night, was it by chance or did she shut him out, who knows? But I'm still livid and don't want to let him out anymore. I tried to find the thread which is mentioned in the attached post, but couldn't. I have searched the internet but have not come up with any posts about real advice. I would seriously serve a legal document on this woman if I needed to and could. It's either that or give her a slap but I'm not a naturally violent person. But seriously, how dare she?!! Any comments please?



Janee said:


> Big Cat: There is a difference between feeding a wild animal (birds/squirrels etc etc) or even a semi feral cat and feeding a cat that is obviously owned and looked after.
> 
> The OP must have pangs of conscience that s/he is encouraging the cat to stay by feeding and letting it in and has asked advice. The sensible thing to do is discuss with the owner.
> 
> ...


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

I would write a letter to the woman formally asking her not to feed your cat as he has a medical condition. Get a tag for his collar such as this diabetes one ( my cat HAS got diabetes so wears one )
Cat Tags
In the letter tell her in no uncertain terms that if she continues to feed the cat, knowing that he has a medical condition, you will report her to the RSPCA who WILL deem this to be animal cruelty. Oh, and you will sue her for the vet fees.
She might not look so smug then.


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## charleecat (Nov 26, 2009)

If Charlee isn't eating her food, I'm concerned. I assume she's either sick or someone else is feeding her when she wanders around. 

Whilst it's kind of you to give this cat some attention, it's best not to feed him/her as it's not fair to the owner.


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## NelsonsStaff (Jun 24, 2010)

A few months back we had a cat wander into our kitchen, one we had never seen before but which was owned as he wore a collar and tag and was evidently well loved (Desmond he was called) we called the number on his tag and the owner informed us he was at work and the cat did have a habit of getting out, apolgised for any inconvence and asked us if we could look after him for a couple hours until he got home from work. We gave him a little food and some water just to keep him going and after he was picked up we haven't seen him again. 

The moral of the story, cats pick their own homes we can't make that choice for them so even if you don't feed and water them, if they have decided they like your home and can get food somewhere else then the cat has adopted himself a comfortable place to sleep as well as a place for regular meals.


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## dazed&confused (Dec 1, 2008)

Wow. Seems like so long since I posted this thread!

So what happened? Well.. I tried to encourage the cat not stay at my flat. Basically I just didnt let him in which was heartbreaking but I knew I needed break the habit. A couple of times I did let him in because the weather was really bad and he was meowing at the door but I didnt feed him.

Then one night when Id let him in and it was getting late I knocked on his owners door. The owner was out but her boyfriend answered the door. I explained the situation and said that I loved cats and I loved having him around but I was getting worried because he was spending so much time in my flat and I didnt want him to get too attached. I said that perhaps they should get a catflap. He said the flat was rented and they didnt want to upset the landlord  reading between the lines I think they probably had a ban on pets as part of their tenancy agreement or hadnt asked the landlord for permission and they didnt want to get rumbled. He didnt seem that bothered, he said that he was a very social cat and spent a lot of time in other peoples houses around the neighbourhood. This reassured me somewhat but I asked if he wanted to come over and pick him up. So he came over to my flat and on the way he introduced himself to me and told me the cats name was Stanley. Anyway as soon as Stanley saw his owner in my flat you could see the look of astonishment and guilt on little Stanleys face. It was so funny! So off they went together and I was left feeling a lot less guilty and a lot more reassured.

I continued to let him in occasionally but I never fed him and soon after that I moved out the flat. On a couple of occasions I saw neighbours call him by name so obviously he was a very social cat and spent a lot of time in other peoples houses.


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