# My lovely dog died



## Lulems (Oct 21, 2019)

Hi I’m new. My beautiful girl Zaylee was put to sleep on Wednesday aged 11 and 4 months. She had mammory cancer and they believed it had spread to her lungs but no tests were done they just looked at her angry red lump and listened to her breathing, at the end we couldn’t take her for walks and she was constantly struggling to breathe. She was on steroids and painkillers but they didn’t help her breathing. I feel so guilty , wish I had brought her home with us and let her die at home. She went head on my lap with my husband fussing her.
Would they of put her to sleep if they didn’t need to?
2 days later I had an early miscarriage, my 3rd in 4 years. She was always there and was just a comfort I miss her so much. My son and husband are in bits too. We got her ashes back today.

I desperately want to get a puppy as I feel so empty without her.
RIP good girl mummy loves you xx


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## pinklizzy (Dec 19, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss, both of your beloved dog and your baby, I can't imagine how hard that must be.
If you think it would help maybe you could talk it through with your vet although it does sound like they felt the difficulty breathing was as a result of the spread of the tumour to the lungs? (this could be confirmed via an x-ray but often if there is already a concern over the ability to breathe, the sedation/anaesthesia required to take the x-ray can be a risk in itself)
I'm sure she knew how much she was loved and went to sleep having you both with her. Be gentle with yourself


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm afraid it does sound as though the cancer had spread to her lungs.

I had an elderly bitch develop mammary cancer, but she had no difficulty at all with her breathing.

Given what you describe, I believe you absolutely did the right thing to give her a dignified and peaceful end. She would have had little quality of life and it would have become worse for her.


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## Lulems (Oct 21, 2019)

Thanks for your kind words, the loss of Zaylee is worse than the miscarriage, she was a real part of my life the bean was a hope of a life if that makes sense


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## Lulems (Oct 21, 2019)

pinklizzy said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss, both of your beloved dog and your baby, I can't imagine how hard that must be.
> If you think it would help maybe you could talk it through with your vet although it does sound like they felt the difficulty breathing was as a result of the spread of the tumour to the lungs? (this could be confirmed via an x-ray but often if there is already a concern over the ability to breathe, the sedation/anaesthesia required to take the x-ray can be a risk in itself)
> I'm sure she knew how much she was loved and went to sleep having you both with her. Be gentle with yourself


Thanks for your kind words, when the lump first appeared we talked about having it removed but the vet was concerned about her surviving the anaesthetic and the size of the tumour, she said it was the most aggressive type and would require a specialist, so we decided on palliative care. She just went from ok to really sick so fast within about 10 days.


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

My old dog died just before Christmas. She had surgery for mammary cancer when she was 13 and had another lump appear last year. 2 weeks before she died she started breathing fast and the vet was going to investigate, but the night before her Xray she became very distressed with her breathing and we had to take her to the OOH vet where she was pts. At that point she was unresponsive and exhausted. Like you I've wondered if we should have done more but in my heart I felt she'd had enough.
It's part of the grieving process to have these doubts ,but you made the brave decision to spare her further suffering.
If you want a puppy make sure you're not getting it as a replacement.We got another dog 5 months after Tango died ,partly because our other dog seemed tobe lost without her company. The new dog is completely different although the same breed and has brought Reena back into enjoying her walks with him and playing. 
It's not something I would rush in to.


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## Lulems (Oct 21, 2019)

SusieRainbow said:


> My old dog died just before Christmas. She had surgery for mammary cancer when she was 13 and had another lump appear last year. 2 weeks before she died she started breathing fast and the vet was going to investigate, but the night before her Xray she became very distressed with her breathing and we had to take her to the OOH vet where she was pts. At that point she was unresponsive and exhausted. Like you I've wondered if we should have done more but in my heart I felt she'd had enough.
> It's part of the grieving process to have these doubts ,but you made the brave decision to spare her further suffering.
> If you want a puppy make sure you're not getting it as a replacement.We got another dog 5 months after Tango died ,partly because our other dog seemed tobe lost without her company. The new dog is completely different although the same breed and has brought Reena back into enjoying her walks with him and playing.
> It's not something I would rush in to.


I'm sorry for your loss, it's hard isn't it? We got Zaylee as a rescue at 4 so we had 7 wonderful years with her. In my heart I know she was very sick I just miss her


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Lulems said:


> I'm sorry for your loss, it's hard isn't it? We got Zaylee as a rescue at 4 so we had 7 wonderful years with her. In my heart I know she was very sick I just miss her


We had Tango 6 years, she was a rescue age 9 when we got her. The sweetest natured, funniest and happiest little dog ever ,and our first one.She had afew health problems but kept bouncing back.
Do you have any pictures of Zaylee to share with us ?


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## Lulems (Oct 21, 2019)

My girl and one of her tumour


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Lulems said:


> My girl and one of her tumour


Oh,bless her ,that does look sore ! did it come up quickly ?
She looks a real sweetheart.


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## Lulems (Oct 21, 2019)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh,bless her ,that does look sore ! did it come up quickly ?
> She looks a real sweetheart.


It was quite small to start with, and didn't change for about a month we were thinking it was benign as didn't really change. But then it changed quickly becoming very red the vet said it was the the most aggressive kind of mammory cancer. Inflammatory mammory cancer, she didn't do a biopsy. She gave Zaylee a month on 28 September 
It was painful for her she struggled to lie comfortably with it towards the end.
She was lovely and real love machine


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## Bugsys grandma (Aug 3, 2018)

I am so terribly sorry, what an awful time you've had. 
I'm sure the vets would not have put her to sleep if there had realistically been anything they could do for her. 
You and your husband were with her, you absolutely without a doubt did the right thing. Your feelings at the moment are perfectly normal and to be expected. 
All of us who have had to have a dog put to sleep, have had feelings of guilt and worry that we could've or should've done more, but these feelings are all just a natural part of the grieving process. 
Please don't rush into getting a puppy, give yourself at least a little time to grieve for Zaylee. 
When you are ready for another dog, make sure As @SusieRainbow says, that you are not just looking for a replacement for Zaylee, because she can never be replaced. 
As sad and awful as you feel right now, it will get better with time. 
Wishing you all the best.


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## Lulems (Oct 21, 2019)

Thank you all your words have really helped. Zaylee is irreplaceable to all of us we will not get another pet until we all feel ready it will be a family decision.
Again your words have really comforted me


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Lulems said:


> Thank you all your words have really helped. Zaylee is irreplaceable to all of us we will not get another pet until we all feel ready it will be a family decision.
> Again your words have really comforted me


That's good to know. Please come back and chat if you need to.xx


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

I am so sorry about your beautiful girl. We lost our girl four years ago, they are our best friends through so much. Zaylee left this world surrounded by love and those she loved which is all she would have wanted. Remember those precious years you had together. Take care.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

So very sorry for your double loss - very sad 

Give yourself time to grieve before making any decisions.


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

So very sorry for your loss.

No other dog will be her, but if you have the home and the love to give your girl will be happy if it went to another poor doggy that desperately needs a home.

When my rescue Cheeky passed away I was heartbroken, so were the children and we took Scrip, we healed his physical and mental wounds, he healed our grieving hearts.


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