# Younger (larger) boy bullying older girl



## lukeyd (Jan 23, 2011)

Hi

I've searched through the forums, and can't find much advice from previous - so here goes my first post!

Bella is a 4 year old birman, very little (just over 3kg) but she's always been that way - healthy appetite (most of the time!). Moriarty is our 10 month old norwegian forest cat...and he's a giant already! Because of his age he's still extremely playful, including a lot of playfights. We initially tried to ignore him and train this playfighting out of him, but i admit we've become a bit lax with that recently....

Moriarty is now much bigger than Bella, and has taken to - in my opinion - bullying her. it's all playfighting as far as he's concerned, but she hisses, growls and tries to bite him to make him stop, but he couldnt are less and carries on. He's recently taken to wrestling her whenever she's sitting in her favourite spot, and then when she leaves (as she always does after minimal resistance) he just takes her place. i really wish she'd stand up for herself properly, but she accepts defeat and slinks off.

it's not a big worry at the moment, but it's just going to get worse as she has stopped growing and he's probably going to double in size over the next 2 years or so. she is still fine with us (still sits on laps etc) but walks off as soon as he enters the room. before he was around she was a very playful cat, but that side of her is disappearing fast!

if she grumbles at him without him having done anything besides being near her, we comfort her. it's what happens when we're not in the house that worries me.

apologies for length, but any advice? or am i just over-worrying? FYI they are both neutered.


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## Dally Banjo (Oct 22, 2009)

Oh dear  you have all my sympathy we have the same problem at the min but our tantrum thrower was best mates with our new addition untill a few weeks back  they are both Maine Coons but Louie is alot larger than Tango at the mo although he is catching up 

We have a Feliway plug in but with the windows open it does'nt seem to be haveing any affect anymore  Louie is on Zylkene which can take up to 6 weeks to work so ...................... he also has a Beaphar calming collar on now so we live in hope & Rescue Remedy in the water bowls & a dab just under his ear opening where the fur is a little thinner.

Hope you get some more ideas as we could do with some


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## lukeyd (Jan 23, 2011)

hmm - i'm not sure if feliway would solve the problem, neither of them are agitated. he just wants to play-fight and is quite rough, and she doesn't want to play-fight. the solution is either he stops play-fighting, or she hits back stronger - would feliway actually solve this?

i'll look up the other treatments you mentioned tho - thanks for the reply!


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## Dally Banjo (Oct 22, 2009)

We have the Feliway for one of our older cats who likes to play rough with our oldest who is 17 & realy cant be botherd anymore, it works for him but not the one we are haveing trouble with  

Have you got plenty of toys, activity/scratching posts? hopefully he will calm down a bit with age or she will give him a real telling off. Simba our eldest is very small he weighs just over 3kg & is still capable of putting 7kg of Louie in his place


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## Chez87 (Aug 11, 2010)

Gosh, this is like reading my own story! But my female is 10, not 4, but the male is 10 months old.

It's horrible as I don't want to put the female through stress, but I think it's just something we have to wait for the boys to grow out of unfortunately. They are still kittens really, albeit large one (my boy is close to 5kg....) Although IF you do find a solution, PLEASE share it with me!


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## lukeyd (Jan 23, 2011)

thanks for all the advice - we're going to try a feliway diffuser for our bedroom as they woke us up four times last night by him jumping on her, and we both need our sleep!

it's a good point about the toys tho - we do have a few but don't use them as much as he would obviously like as he sticks his head in the particular cupboard they are stored in as soon as i open it to get anything else out.

i suppose we'll do what we can, but as you say our best bet is him growing out of it! also, our landlord has just said that we can get a catflap so they can then go outside when they want to as opposed to when we're at home to let them out.

*clicks on to amazon to buy new batteries for the laser pointer*


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## Chez87 (Aug 11, 2010)

lukeyd said:


> thanks for all the advice - we're going to try a feliway diffuser for our bedroom as they woke us up four times last night by him jumping on her, and we both need our sleep!
> 
> it's a good point about the toys tho - we do have a few but don't use them as much as he would obviously like as he sticks his head in the particular cupboard they are stored in as soon as i open it to get anything else out.
> 
> ...


Oh my gosh...are you me?! everything you write sounds like me, to the boy sticking his head in the toy cupboard constantly, and the needing of new batteries for my laser pointer! :lol:


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