# Absolutely devastated (sorry long)



## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

A few of you may know that I have rescued 2 feral kittens from a farm who would otherwise not have survived. I have got Wilbur, a 12 year old ragdoll too.

The introductions have not been going too well and he has got a territorial issue with the neighbours cat.

So I got a cat behaviourist in to help me. She was very honest and I thank her for that but she did tell me that taking in the feral kittens was a bad, bad move  

I always knew that Wilbur might never like the kittens but it he could also have liked them. He does like other cats (although not the neighbour's one).

She did say that not all hope is lost as he slept with us upstairs on the bed last night when I had to keep him in for the night. He normally does not come upstairs anymore as the kittens are up there in the big spare bedroom. This shows that he might come round if I follow her instructions.

I will have her full report in about 10 days time but she has given me some instructions already. First I have to start the scent introduction again, meaning rubbing a soft cloth around the kitten's cheeks and then rubbing the same cloth around Wilbur's cheeks. On top of this I have to rub the cloth around the walls in cats height and on the sofas (this I have not done before). Furthermore I have to get carpet tiles and put them downstairs where Wilbur is and upstairs in the kitten's room and swap them around. 

Hopefully this will work well and we can then move on to the next steps. Before Wilbur had reacted fine to the scent swapping so fingers crossed.

If this does not work out I will have to 'rehome' the kittens. As you will know it is nearly impossible to rehome feral kittens. An option, which the cat behaviourist welcomed, would to take the kittens up to our barn. My oh is a bike breaker and we have got a very rural barn. He is up there every day. She said with them being feral they would be happy up there and even I could see them every day as it is just a 10 minute drive from home. But I would still feel as if I am letting them down and it is not the same as having them at home.

I am actually crying my eyes out while writing this and could do with some cheering up. Yes, I knew from the start that it might not work out but if I had not saved them they would not have survived.

If I was allowed to drink I would buy a big bottle of vodka right now :crying:


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## MCWillow (Aug 26, 2011)

OK.

So two kittens would now be dead if it werent for you. Thats amazing that you saved two little lives.

If Wilbur just cant accept them in his home, they are still going to live happy lives in your barn.

They have guaranteed shelter and food, and its thanks to you.

Don't beat yourself up on what you _can't _do - congratulate yourself on what you have done already.

*hugs* xxx


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2012)

I don't understand. 

Can you not attach an enclosure to one of your outer doors, a good sized one, so that they live in that, if need be? You can set them up with an insulated house, as warm as indoors, Set up your house so that both sets of cats have access to house, and either split the time or split the house access for them. I don't understand why you have made a big mistake, rescuing 2 feral kittens. I have tamed a completely wild adult male, who literally shred my arms, chest, (through clothes), and face, when I 1st cornered him. What is she saying is your big mistake? He ended up sleeping on my bed, about 18 hours a day, and was a typically loving cat, tho with no one else. 

I currently have a feral female here, about a year old, and she's with my 2 black boys and is now prepared to wait for her food, instead of rushing to hide at the first sight of me. They can be desexed, given shots, and released, but if you would like to keep them, why not? It is a hard life, even if desexed. in barns.

She has learnt that my old terrier is lovely to rub against, and she sleeps WITH my big old dog. She still suspects I want to do strange, sick things to her, , but she sees the boys purring and rubbing and being carried and she's coming around.


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

I think the problem is that the original cat (12 year old ragdoll) is having a very hard time with these youngsters, very unwilling to accept them etc and basically is very unhappy, despite lots of hard work.


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## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

spid said:


> I think the problem is that the original cat (12 year old ragdoll) is having a very hard time with these youngsters, very unwilling to accept them etc and basically is very unhappy, despite lots of hard work.


Exactly!

If I would build the kittens an enclosure in the garden they would still be invading his territory so this is not an option. My main responsibility lies with Wilbur as he was here first. It would not be fair on him to force the kittens into his life.

My oh spends 6 hours or more at the barn each day. The barn is 150 feet long, has electricity, running water and even a separate room which could be set up for the kittens. Two of his friends have got their businesses (logger and furniture restoration) up their too. They would most probably have more human company up there during the day than at home.

I am actually trying to persuade myself that they would be fine up there


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## Treaclesmum (Sep 26, 2011)

I'm sure they would be fine at the barn. I think feral cats cope much better with the outdoors than tamer cats, even from an early age. My Charcoal was almost feral when we got her and she preferred the outdoors to the indoors. 

In a rural barn they will be free to run about, and be able to stop any mice from chewing at the electricity wires!! 

They will also be able to grow more tame at their own slow pace, as they will have human company whenever they want it. 

How old are they now?


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## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

They are coming up to 5.5 months now.

We have an appointment for next Thursday to have them neutered no matter if they stay here or go up the barn.

They will be able to eat all the mice and will most probably have loads of fun but I don't know what my oh will say if they ever use one of the motorbike seats as scratch pad


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## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

Here are some pictures of the barn (sorry about the mess  )


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## MCWillow (Aug 26, 2011)

Looks like feral kitty heaven to me :yesnod:

OH wont know if its rats that scatched his seats - so just let him know it could be so much worse if kitties werent there to keep the rats in check.....


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

From what I have learned about "boys and toys" bikes are looked after better than most other family members.,so I would think the kittens will be perfectly happy,being part of that family.You tried ,it wasnt to be,but they are still alive and have a shot at life where they are being cared for,something they may not have had without your help.


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

MCWillow said:


> Looks like feral kitty heaven to me :yesnod:
> 
> OH wont know if its rats that scatched his seats - so just let him know it could be so much worse if kitties werent there to keep the rats in check.....


_Absolute_ kitty heaven in fact!

Growing up we had several family cats that were actually far happier hanging out with my Dad out in his workshop or greenhouse, rather than being cooped up in the house getting bothered by us kids.
I don't see why they would scratch the bik seats either...not when they have dozens of natural scratching posts in trees and bushes etc


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Nightkitten -- please don't reproach yourself hun, you did a good deed rescuing the kittens, and I know you have absolutely tried your utmost to integrate them with Wilbur.

It seems Wilbur is just not willing to adapt, and the whole situation must have become stressful for everyone in the household by now, I imagine. 

The idea of the kittens living in the barn seems the perfect solution to me! Your OH will be there to keep an eye on them, feed them etc, and as long as they continue to be handled by humans you will be able to keep up their flea & worming treatments as normal.


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## koekemakranka (Aug 2, 2010)

Being a barn cat isn't a bad life at all. At least they will get food and shelter, which they wouldn't get from a life in the street. You did the right thing. Remember you also have to consider the needs of your resident cat.


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## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

Thanks everyone for your replies, I feel much better now.

Well, we have given ourselves 6 weeks to try out the tips and tricks the cat behaviourist has given us. If we feel it is going nowhere then they will have to be barn cats.


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## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

Update:

Today we let the kittens explore the downstairs while Wilbur was outside (it is warm so he hardly ever comes in). He came in 5 minutes ago and obviously smelled the kitten's scent. We got 1 shout, then cuddled and praised him and he has now settled on his bed 

I have got the feeling we are getting there (fingers crossed)


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## auspiciousmind (Sep 2, 2012)

nightkitten said:


> Update:
> 
> Today we let the kittens explore the downstairs while Wilbur was outside (it is warm so he hardly ever comes in). He came in 5 minutes ago and obviously smelled the kitten's scent. We got 1 shout, then cuddled and praised him and he has now settled on his bed
> 
> I have got the feeling we are getting there (fingers crossed)


Ooh well done.. I have everything crossed for you!! Will need to get some tips from you because as soon as Romeo has had his 2nd jab we'll need to start the introductions with a very territorial stroppy tortie (avatar)!

Good luck !!:thumbup:


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## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

auspiciousmind said:


> Ooh well done.. I have everything crossed for you!! Will need to get some tips from you because as soon as Romeo has had his 2nd jab we'll need to start the introductions with a very territorial stroppy tortie (avatar)!
> 
> Good luck !!:thumbup:


Prepare yourself for lots of hard, hard work 

Ask me whenever you have a question. Although this is my first introduction I feel like I'm an expert on this topic through reading, cat behaviourist and experience :mad2:


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## Janet lefton (Jul 10, 2012)

Ive rescued many cats and you have to seriously look at the situation as saving lives and finding a solution that works for everyone rather than trying to push two new lives onto your existing cat. The barn would be an acceptable compromise, it warm, sheltered and they will have human contact and you will continue caring for them.

Good Luck and well done for rescuing two feral cats.


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## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

We have been making progress. It is slow but at least I can see changes.

We have found out that Wilbur has arthritis in his back legs and lower back. So he has been in pain for a while without us noticing (yes, I could kick myself for this!  ). So yesterday I took him to the vet again and he was put on Metacam for now. At the moment he is on the highest dose but the vet instructed to reduce the dose on a weekly basis until we get to the dose where he still is comfortable.

Wilbur being in pain surely did not help the situation at all. I too spoke to my cat behaviourist yesterday and she confirmed that a cat in pain will very rarely accept other cats. She too said she did not notice that he was in pain when she visited us 6 weeks ago and met Wilbur. He was hiding this very well.

Nevertheless he has been on Metacam since yesterday evening and hey....SURPRISE!
The kittens were locked in their room upstairs for the night and Wilbur went upstairs all by himself!!! He normally only ventures upstairs during the night to sleep with me on the bed. But I was downstairs just now. I wondered where he went as I could not find him and found him upstairs sniffing around. No shouting, no hissing, nothing. He didn't notice me so I sneaked back down. He was up there for about 10 minutes, came down and I praised and cuddled him loads. Now he settled on his bed and is fast asleep.

So hopefully this is a good sign and Wilbur will get used to the kittens.

But most importantly I am so glad that I finally found out that poor Wilbur was in pain and am happy that he is feeling much better on the Metacam.


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

I hope it goes the way you want it to - but it is great you have such a good back up plan with the barn. Lucky kittens.

And it is great that Wilbur is more comfortable too.
That sort of thing just creeps up on us.


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## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

This is Wilbur a few minutes ago. Although Karm is out of sight on the photo she is just to the left around 2m away from Wilbur.

No tail flicking, no shouting or hissing. He was just lying there watching her and then she wandered off.


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## GemCheri (Aug 18, 2009)

Hopefully Wilbur will come round. I rescued a feral kitten 9 years ago , my resident cat Romeo hated him and moved out , he would only eat on the door step and i was devastated but persistance paid off. They love each other now ........... sometimes a little too much!!! 

Rico (ginger feral) and Romeo (black)


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## nightkitten (Jun 15, 2012)

Thanks GemCheri, your story gives me hope.

Since Wilbur is feeling better he is much calmer around the kittens.


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## wicket (Aug 22, 2012)

What a wonderful thing to do rescuing the kittens. My only advice would be to be very patient - once it took me six months to integrate a rescue with my two resident old girls - it was a long hard slog and at one point I thought I was going to have to return him to Celia Hammond but we got there in the end and he now often shares a lap with the same old girl who in the beginning hated the sight of him. Good luck and well done


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## koekemakranka (Aug 2, 2010)

You did your best. You also have to think of your older boy, who, as you say, was there first. The life of a barn cat is not a bad life at all: food, shelter, human company, rats and mice...who could ask for more? Just make sure they are all neutered and spayed beforehand. I myself "keep" 4 feral cats at the office block next door. They are feral and wouldn't be happy indoors and, frankly, my resident cats are my priority. They have shelter from the elements food twice daily and are really looking magificently healthy. I can honestly say they have a happy and fulfilled life, enough though they are feral.
Edited to add: Oops I see this is an update on an older post....


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