# I hit my dog.....



## TammieT (Aug 25, 2016)

Hello I'm a new member here but am a regular reader. First things first I'd like to say that I'm a terrible human being for what happened today so those of you who want to judge me can go ahead but I need help either way. 

I have a near 2 year old Doberman called Stanley. He is a wonderful dog. Today we were enjoying the sunshine in my garden. I was having a rather bad day and I was kind of hot and bothered (it's been very warm here lately). I was laying on my grass and Stanley was having a crazy moment running around the garden in circles. He suddenly decided he was going to zoom over me but he managed to stand on my eye in the process. God only knows how. His claw went into my eyeball with some force and it was incredibly painful! 

I jumped up and was holding my eye, and started yelling expletives. This obviously excited him so he started jumping up at me, I then smacked him around 4 to 5 times. They were not light smacks, they were what I'd describe as a wallop. I then sat back down on the grass to get myself together again for a minute and he came back up to me and I shoved him away from me with my foot (not a kick, a shove). 

I think I was taking the pain I was feeling in that moment out on him and to be honest I felt like I wanted to wring his neck. If he hadn't have come up to me I definitely wouldn't have reacted like that. 

I'm worried I've ruined my relationship with him now  and I feel so awful for reacting in that way. I lost control. 

He seems very weiry of me now even though I've apologised to him, gave him extra treats. Like last night I told him to go to his bed as it was bedtime and he scurried off with his tail between his legs. Normally he comes up to me and I say goodnight to him and give him a treat. 

I had to go to a+e with my eye. I have a bright red eyeball. I literally look like the devil. The nurse told me it could have caused some serious damage.

I just feel so awful. I have never hit a dog or any animal before and I don't agree with it ever.


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## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

You haven't ruined your relationship so I wouldn't worry about that. People react out of character when in pain and I doubt there are many people out there that haven't given their dog a wack on the bum out of frustration at some point in their life. But then my dogs are weird and like some rough pats so they'd probably find it rewarding!

Juno my GSD jumped up and got me in the nose hard once, it was agony and hurt for weeks (may have broken it for all I know) and frankly if I wasn't in such agony I may have lashed out irrationally!!


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## Blitz (Feb 12, 2009)

You just behaved normally. And your dog should not behave like that and should have more respect for your space so I am sure no one will blame you. I am sure most people in real life lash out at their dogs occasionally.


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## komondor_owner (Jan 19, 2016)

deleted


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Don't be too hard on yourself , you're human and were in pain ! Plenty of time to rebuild the trust , in the mean-time train some impulse control.
My little dachshund ( nearly 13 ) gets very excitable when we're gellting ready for walks, she jumps up at me and mouths my legs. On one occasion she caught just behind my knee with a tooth , entirely accidentally, but it bled and hurt like hell! I shouted and scared her but we're fine again now , she hasn't done it since.


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

A lot of people (and animals) tend to lash out when they are in pain, and you must have been in agony. You obviously have a good relationship with your dog normally, and that will come back when things have calmed down. He is probably upset because he knew you were upset & in pain.

He may also be unnerved by your bright red eyeball, so don't be surprised if he is a bit wary until it has gone back to normal. I had a burst blood vessel a while back, my eye went bright red & Bonnie was really odd around me until it had gone back to normal.


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## LoopyL (Jun 16, 2015)

I once (25 years ago) walloped my Goldie because she chased a moorland sheep in full view of half the village despite her recalling pretty much straight away.
I was terrified someone would report her to the farmer & they'd want her pts if I didn't 'do something' about it (altho she didn't do more than chase) but I still feel ashamed about hitting her :Shamefullyembarrased (she never chased a sheep again)

You lashed out in pain & shock and altho regrettable I think many would have done the same. Hopefully Stanley will have learned to be more careful with you now & your eye will heal swiftly. 

Some animals do by instinct react aggressively to cries of pain so expect that is why he jumped up at you & suggest you both have several doses of Rescue Remedy to calm you after the shock. He may be wary of you for a couple of days but will be ok again soon now all is calm again + a few treats won't hurt


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Dogs can be incredibly forgiving animals. If it's not normal practice/routine for him, he'll be more puzzled by the experience of you pushing him away.


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## Katalyst (Aug 11, 2015)

When Logan was a puppy I clouted him out of blind panic when he tried to attack one of my mums cats. 
Many months later, I caught him swallowing ropes of carpet fabric that had been scratched up by the cats (again at my parents place). He refused to drop it and just started trying to grab more mouthfuls. Again, out of panic, I gave him a clout. It wasn't hard at all but considering that I never venue raise my voice to him usually, it was a huge shock. It also had the desired effect and I didn't end up having to take him to the vets to have knots of carpet removed from his innards. 
He also go a wallop from my usually incredibly placid partner some weeks ago for managing to stick a claw straight in his bare balls (partner was asleep. He lashed out in shock and pain. And frankly, Logan knows better than to prat around when someone is asleep. 

Do I feel horrific about these incidents? Damn right I do.
Did it have any sort of affect on our bond?
Not a jot. 

I think there is a big difference between. Lashing out in a moment of panic or pain and just beating a dog with a new paper for barking/jumping/existing.


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## Sarah1983 (Nov 2, 2011)

I remember my hubby belting our last dog once. Rupe had jumped at him, snapped his neck back really painfully and hubby just lashed out. Had he EVER hit the dog like that generally I'd have left but a trip to A&E was necessary (for hubby, not dog) and honestly, I can't say I wouldn't have lashed out under the circumstances.

Rupert was very wary of him for a while afterwards but he did come round, it didn't completely ruin their relationship


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## catz4m8z (Aug 27, 2008)

Look at it this way, would you blame your dog if he lashed out at you because he was in pain?? (Ive had teeth on me before when I grabbed a dog and didnt realiese it had a sore ear. I def dont blame the dog and Im sure your dog isnt going to blame you!).

I'll also hold my hand up to the 'panic wallop'!:Shy When the boys were fighting badly a couple of times I gave in to panic and frustration and tried to wallop them apart, also I actually hit Adam so hard as a puppy he hit the wall (he was chewing a live wire at the time and I just wanted to get him away...misjudged both my strength and his size!). Thankfully dogs really dont know how to hold a grudge!


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## MiffyMoo (Sep 15, 2015)

My dogs whipped me off my feet, a few months ago, and as I was going down I elbowed Dex. I felt terrible, as he shrunk away from me for the rest of the day, but he got over it after a couple of days.

You clearly don't make a habit of it, so your dog will get over it, and I suspect your feelings of guilt will last a lot longer than his hurt feelings


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## Aahlly (Sep 12, 2014)

Oh lord these things happen! Sounds incredibly painful and you were lucky that no more damage was done to your eye as I imagine Stanley is a big lad. I've smacked mine on the butt a couple of mines, it's just a knee jerk reaction when you're overwhelmed. Ghost picked up a shard of glass in his mouth when we were out walking and my first reaction was to smack him as I was terrified he'd cut his mouth open! He dropped it instantly in shock (I'm very, very rarely cross with them). I felt bad afterwards but it's made no difference to our relationship in the long run and Stanley will get over this too.


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## Nonnie (Apr 15, 2009)

Well, im going to go against the grain.

One wallop in anger/frustration i can understand in the heat of the moment. But to hit repeatedly? Then shove? Sounds like poor anger management and impulse issues.

And yes, i do think it can ruin a relationship. It can certainly ruin trust and take a long time to rebuild.

One of my previous dogs ripped my hand open, down to the bone. It hurt. A lot. I didnt beat him up, which is basically what you did to your dog. I screamed at him, and then i got my shit under control.


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

Nonnie said:


> Well, im going to go against the grain.
> 
> One wallop in anger/frustration i can understand in the heat of the moment. But to hit repeatedly? Then shove? Sounds like poor anger management and impulse issues.
> 
> ...


Totally agree. This is why I didn't reply. But glad you did Nonnie.

This seems to be what all the people who have replied are missing. Their examples are all one hit out of impulse, a natural reaction to pain. A continued beating is not that.

I've never been hurt that badly by a dog. But have been wacked in the face by horses a few times, damn that hurts :Inpain

Muttly has caught me a few times and I have just shouted "Ow, that's enough!!!" I know that is enough for him to know he's hurt me and stop.
My OH however, (incident the other day) was playing with Muttly and he caught him by accident. He started shouting at him really nasty, then tried to kick him ffs, luckily Muttly is a very agile lil lad and dodged his foot.
I don't forgive my OH for these incidences, but Muttly did about 5 mins later.


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2016)

I'm with you @Nonnie 
When my son was a toddler, he jumped up in to the shirt I was bending down to put on him and managed to smash his head in to my face breaking my nose.
I saw stars, it hurt like hell, but I did not respond by beating the crap out of my child, and I'm not sure anyone on here would be defending my actions had I done that.

But, FWIW, my BS-o-meter is going off so I'll just leave it at that


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## Britt (May 18, 2014)

I don't have a dog, I have a cat named Pooh. I never hit him but I yelled at him a few times and threw a towel at him a few times since he lives with me and believe me I felt terribly guilty each time. These things happen, he will forgive you xx


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Nonnie said:


> Well, im going to go against the grain.
> 
> One wallop in anger/frustration i can understand in the heat of the moment. But to hit repeatedly?.


Thank you.


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

Don't worry he be fine, dogs are a very forgiving. Dillon had a few good smacks from me when he was a teenager jumping and playing bitting on walks and it really hurt and badly bruising my arm and I've lashed out at him, he's never held a grudge.


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

Yes, have to agree with @Nonnie. One smack out of panic/pain/ whatever, I can understand. But to continually hit your dog hard as you describe for around '4-5 times' is a bit OTT. Have you damaged your relationship? Doubtful if your dog is otherwise confident and exuberant enough to brush it off, but could have been different with a sensitive type.


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## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Assuming, for a second, that the OP isn't BS'ing us and is genuine, only time will tell whether or not you have damaged the relationship with your dog. 

But my nostrils detect a distinctly Shrek-y kind of smell.


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## catz4m8z (Aug 27, 2008)

Hmm, good [point about repeatedly hitting. Although if Im honest I really couldnt say how I would react if I had a big dog leaping around me that had already potentially put my eye out!
I have enough trouble managing midget sized dogs!LOL


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

catz4m8z said:


> Hmm, good [point about repeatedly hitting. Although if Im honest I really couldnt say how I would react if I had a big dog leaping around me that had already potentially put my eye out!
> I have enough trouble managing midget sized dogs!LOL


I have no problem with them saying they dog hit more than once, to be honest I've done the same not that I'm proud of it, Having a large dog jumping all over me thinking it was a big game but hurting me like hell, as I said I lashed out more than once to just to calm him down, it was the only thing that worked.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

If you were in that much pain with your eye I'm surprised you had the strength to hit your dog 4 or 5 times, I jabbed myself in the eye in the garden the other day (put my head down on a pruned tree branch and the sharp end got me just below the eye leaving a lovely bruise) the pain made me feel physically sick, so I had both hands over my eye sobbing as I made my way fast indoors to grab a cold compress, even if my rottie who was out in the garden with me at the time had been jumping at me I would not have had the ability or inclination to stop and wallop her 4 or 5 times as I just wanted to get indoors to my OH and the cold compress. I can understand you pushing the dog away with your foot but not 4 or 5 wallops. Anyway its done now, the dog will no doubt forgive you over time although with a thread title like this one I smell BS too.


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## Canarie (Sep 4, 2013)

I can fully understand one hit,due to instant reaction of pain.
More than that seems to be getting your anger out of your system and putting that anger on your dog.

Canarie


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## cbcdesign (Jul 3, 2014)

I don't believe in lashing out physically when my dog accidently hurts me but they have received a mouthful of expletives now and then.

I suggest you put it behind you, train your dog to be more careful around people and put it down to experience.


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## TammieT (Aug 25, 2016)

Thank you for those who took the time to reply. I agree with you all, even the ones saying I was in the wrong. 

Won't be returning here though as this has made me feel slightly worse about it. 

Thanks


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## MiffyMoo (Sep 15, 2015)

TammieT said:


> Thank you for those who took the time to reply. I agree with you all, even the ones saying I was in the wrong.
> 
> Won't be returning here though as this has made me feel slightly worse about it.
> 
> Thanks


To be fair, you should feel bad about it, enough to ensure that you don't do it again. But your dog will get over it, and life will go on


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## komondor_owner (Jan 19, 2016)

deleted


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

komondor_owner said:


> Don't stress about it  There are some pretty nasty people about. The best feature on this forum is "ignore user".


I think beating a dog repeatedly is nastier than anything anyone here has said.


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

Nonnie said:


> Well, im going to go against the grain.
> 
> One wallop in anger/frustration i can understand in the heat of the moment. But to hit repeatedly? Then shove? Sounds like poor anger management and impulse issues.
> 
> And yes, i do think it can ruin a relationship. It can certainly ruin trust and take a long time to rebuild.


Basically this ^


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## TammieT (Aug 25, 2016)

I said I wasn't returning but I wanted to say this. 

The reason why I hit him more than once is because he kept coming back to me every time I did and no amount of shouting or saying go away or leave was going to stop that and I just wanted him to get away from me to be totally honest. I was trying to move indoors but I could barely see, the pain was awful and I had this big dog jumping into me (he is not small and him jumping into you especially when excited/scared is enough to nearly knock you off your feet), licking me, nibbling me and as I was holding my eye with my left hand I hit him with my right hand, it was mainly on his side/rump. I'm not sure how hard I hit him but at no point did he let out a yelp or make any indication that I had seriously injured him. 

And sorry about not wording my ''thread title'' correctly. I thought they were supposed to be straight to the point, obviously not. Thanks once again though.


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## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

komondor_owner said:


> Don't stress about it  There are some pretty nasty people about. The best feature on this forum is "ignore user".


Yeah, what horrible people pointing out that it's not nice to repeatedly "wallop" your dog.


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

I still don't think it was the dogs fault and he didn't deserve a beating. It probably isn't a great idea to lay down on the floor near a large dog having a crazy moment.


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

A few weeks ago, I was in the park with the dogs. They were off the lead. Rosie bobbles around next to me or just behind, but Rudi loves to run in a circle, always coming back to me at the end of the circle, when she always gets praised.

For some reason, on this particular day, she ran in her circle and then straight back to me, but she didn't stop. She ran straight into my knee and it was mind blowingly painful. Having 15 kilograms of muscle and bone, shifting at around twenty miles an hour and using your knee as a means of stopping in full flow just isn't funny.

Apparently, it hadn't hurt her big head at all, because she carried on running and, when I turned round, she was coming back towards me at the same speed and looking very much as though she was going to do it again.

I held my hand out and said "Go Down", which usually stops her in her tracks, but she ignored me.

I felt awful, but out of fear, I leaned forward when she came in range and smacked her on the chest. She stopped immediately and sat down, but I felt wretched, as she looked so hurt and confused.

Once the pain had subsided in my knee, I put her on her training line and we practised her running her circle, then coming back to me and stopping when she's told, for which she got a treat and praise.

I wouldn't blame anyone for giving a dog one smack out of pain or fear, but clouting the dog half a dozen times, then giving it a hefty shove with your foot just isn't on IMO.


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## Doggiedelight (Jan 27, 2015)

The fact you feel guilty shows you know what you did was wrong. What I would do is now rebuild the bond with your pooch, build the trust back. Also perhaps teach him a 'calm' command. You will be fine, and so will pooch. Just learn from it 

I wouldnt let your post and the replies put you off the forum. One thing I have learnt over the years is people won't sugar coat shit for you. However the grown ups and the ones worth talking to will keep whats on one thread, in that thread and not take the mood or difference of opinion with them into another thread. We all disagree at times.

Life isnt fairy dust. But leave disagreements as you close the door of each thread and smile as you open the door on a new thread 

Hope you stay around.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

TammieT said:


> I jumped up and was holding my eye, and started yelling expletives. This obviously excited him so *he started jumping up at me, I then smacked him around 4 to 5 times. They were not light smacks, they were what I'd describe as a wallop.*


* I lost control. *

Your first post is a bit different to this one.



TammieT said:


> I said I wasn't returning but I wanted to say this.
> 
> The reason why I hit him more than once is because he kept coming back to me every time I did and no amount of shouting or saying go away or leave was going to stop that and I just wanted him to get away from me to be totally honest. I was trying to move indoors but I could barely see, the pain was awful and I had this big dog jumping into me (he is not small and him jumping into you especially when excited/scared is enough to nearly knock you off your feet), licking me, nibbling me and as I was holding my eye with my left hand I hit him with my right hand, it was mainly on his side/rump. I'm not sure how hard I hit him but at no point did he let out a yelp or make any indication that I had seriously injured him.
> 
> And sorry about not wording my ''thread title'' correctly. I thought they were supposed to be straight to the point, obviously not. Thanks once again though.


Its not that you didn't word the title correctly, more that particularly during school holidays we gets lots of trolls who pick intentionally contentious thread titles knowing it will get a response. For a first post it made many of us suspicious that you were not a genuine poster looking for help.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

komondor_owner said:


> Don't stress about it  There are some pretty nasty people about. The best feature on this forum is "ignore user".


Not very adult though. I don't like what you say so I just won't read it. Not that you can see this unless someone quotes me as I'm pretty sure you have me on ignore.


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2016)

Well this thread has certainly been an education for me...

So basically if you're in pain it's okay to lash out? Hrm... I though the mark of a mature adult is to be able to maintain self control even when upset.

Are people really saying that it's okay to hit someone because they accidentally hurt you? So if I'm in line at the grocery store and someone accidentally hits the back of my ankles with their shopping cart (which BTW really hurts) I can turn around and start punching them? 
How many times has a toddler jumped in a dad's lap and shoved knees *there* which we know how painful that is, and you're really saying it's okay for the man to react by beating the shit out of the kid? 
A string of expletives, sure, I get that. Hell, I've done that! But physically hitting, repeatedly? Really? Wow.... I just don't even know what to say to that. 

And the comments that it's okay because dogs are forgiving?! So it's okay to beat dogs because they won't hold it against you? What the hell kind of warped logic is that?

I'm actually quite gobsmacked at some of the responses on this thread. Abusive mindset at its finest. Blame the victim (the dog made me angry), excuse the behavior (I was angry/hurt/upset), and brush it off because they'll forgive you anyway. 
Quite sickening really


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## TammieT (Aug 25, 2016)

So are you all basically saying I shouldn't own a dog? or I should get rid of him or what? 

I didn't lay down near a large dog having a crazy moment, I was already laying there. I also didn't set out to hit him I didn't stand in my garden for 5 minutes repeatedly beating him. It must have been over in a matter of 20 seconds. I can understand what you're all saying though and I take it on board.


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> I'm pretty sure you have me on ignore.


Yeah, I think I'm in the same boat as you RPH.


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2016)

komondor_owner said:


> Don't stress about it  There are some pretty nasty people about. The best feature on this forum is "ignore user".


Why do you insist on frequenting a forum where you find so many of the members to be nasty people?


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2016)

TammieT said:


> So are you all basically saying I shouldn't own a dog? or I should get rid of him or what?
> 
> I didn't lay down near a large dog having a crazy moment, I was already laying there. I also didn't set out to hit him I didn't stand in my garden for 5 minutes repeatedly beating him. It must have been over in a matter of 20 seconds. I can understand what you're all saying though and I take it on board.


1) learn to duck and cover when your large dog is having zoomies. We have lived with 4 large and XL dogs at a time, you learn to get out of the way and/or have a cue to the dogs to chill out.
2) if you have issue with being violent when you're hurt, address the stress or whatever it is that's causing you to lash out, because it is NOT okay to respond to a mistake with violence.


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## TammieT (Aug 25, 2016)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> * I lost control. *
> 
> Your first post is a bit different to this one.
> 
> Its not that you didn't word the title correctly, more that particularly during school holidays we gets lots of trolls who pick intentionally contentious thread titles knowing it will get a response. For a first post it made many of us suspicious that you were not a genuine poster looking for help.


I thought I would go into more detail as I felt some of the people here were maybe not understanding the full story.



ouesi said:


> Well this thread has certainly been an education for me...
> 
> So basically if you're in pain it's okay to lash out? Hrm... I though the mark of a mature adult is to be able to maintain self control even when upset.
> 
> ...


This is why it has really upset me as I am not an abusive person or angry normally, I really am not. I don't know what happened or why I was that person yesterday. If I had seen someone doing what I did I would be totally gobsmacked.

I do not think it's ok to lash out in that way.


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

_'I wish people would realise that animals are completely dependent on us, helpless, like children, a trust put upon us' _James Herriot. 1916-1995.


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> * I lost control. *
> 
> Your first post is a bit different to this one.
> 
> Its not that you didn't word the title correctly, more that particularly during school holidays we gets lots of trolls who pick intentionally contentious thread titles knowing it will get a response. For a first post it made many of us suspicious that you were not a genuine poster looking for help.


First post also inferred the OP wasn't in the best of moods...'having a bad day...hot and bothered'.

So yes I also inferred the reaction was OTT, and was not frustration purely due to the incident, but more than that. Definitely not a pure knee jerk reaction.

Am agreeing with you RPH we do get a lot of trolls, and we also cannot second guess or presume.

We are all dog lovers here, and most here bring up our dogs with a hell of a lot of praise and reinforcement and yes we can see knee jerk reactions, but what was originally written and is still written may horrify some.


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

Canarie said:


> I can fully understand one hit,due to instant reaction of pain.
> More than that seems to be getting your anger out of your system and putting that anger on your dog.
> 
> Canarie





Gemmaa said:


> Yeah, what horrible people pointing out that it's not nice to repeatedly "wallop" your dog.


Believe me unless you are in the situation, you don't know how you would react it's so easy to to condem someone without seeing and really understanding what happened. I never thought I'd hit Dillon but when he was in a red zone there was nothing else I could do. All the training he knew went out of the window you could stay anything and as far as he was conserned I was talking in a forgeign language I just could get though to him.

TammieT, I hope you'll stick around, there are a lots of lovely people on here who are willing to help you and at times you may be able to help them. There are few who drive me crazy so I put them on ignore but only for a while.


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## Biffo (Mar 14, 2016)

Look OP ,
You know yourself you lashed out, and you feel bad about it. Have a think about what happened. Nothing said now will change it, but you can make sure it never happens again.

This forum is full of advice, lots of different people and opinions. And that's why you came here, so please, just take a few minutes and look around the place. I don't post much, but I can tell you the posters giving you harsh advice, well they give fair advice. You can do a search on their names, when they post stuff I always have a look because they have photos of their dogs, who look really happy and fit. 

Just have a think.


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2016)

Happy Paws said:


> Believe me unless you are in the situation, you don't know how you would react


Well, I have been in that situation, and I do know how I would react, and no it's still not okay to beat your dog. That I even have to type that sentence out on a forum of supposed dog lovers is pretty sad in itself.

I've spent my life around large dogs and horses. I've trained with a lot of people in both the dog world and the horse world. Some of them very old school in their ways who have no issue with heavy handed handling. Not a one of them would agree that it's ever okay to lose it with your dog (or horse). 
We humans are supposed to be the ones with the bigger brains, the more evolved ones. It's NEVER okay to lose your shit with an animal and physically lash out at them. Never. No excuse.


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## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

Happy Paws said:


> Believe me unless you are in the situation, you don't know how you would react it's so easy to to condem someone without seeing and really understanding what happened..


One of my dogs headbutted me so hard he split my lip open, I was in too much pain to think about hitting him - nor did I have any desire to do so.
I didn't hit the dog who bit my hand when it redirected onto me
I didn't boot a friends cat up the arse when she tripped me up on the stairs - or when she runs through the door everytime I'm about to walk in 
I didn't attack the horse who stood on my foot, broke my toe and would not move off my foot

I know how I react, and it's not with violence.


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

No one is saying it is 'ok' to lose it. Just acknowledging that we are human beings who sometimes make mistakes and get things wrong. The OP has already acknowledged this was unacceptable behaviour.

@ouesi I am sorry to hear that you too have had a dog stand on your eye - I hope you made a full recovery?


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2016)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> If you were in that much pain with your eye I'm surprised you had the strength to hit your dog 4 or 5 times,





Gemmaa said:


> One of my dogs headbutted me so hard he split my lip open, I was in too much pain to think about hitting him


Yup...
Part of what's making my BS-o-meter go off on this thread. 
If nothing else this thread has certainly caused a stirr... :Shifty


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

Happy Paws said:


> Believe me unless you are in the situation, you don't know how you would react it's so easy to to condem someone without seeing and really understanding what happened. I never thought I'd hit Dillon but when he was in a red zone there was nothing else I could do. All the training he knew went out of the window you could stay anything and as far as he was conserned I was talking in a forgeign language I just could get though to him.
> 
> TammieT, I hope you'll stick around, there are a lots of lovely people on here who are willing to help you and at times you may be able to help them. There are few who drive me crazy so I put them on ignore but only for a while.


I have been in that situation. When Rudi was coming at me like a train, I had to stop her. I really felt she would break my knee or leg if she ran into me again. I put out my hand and connected with her chest. It wasn't a clout or a thump and it wasn't done out of anger and was quickly followed with a positive, happy game for her.

Similarly, when my horse stood on my hand and broke three of my fingers. At no point did I feel the need to inflict pain on him by way of retribution.

I have to ask, if the OP was "feeling hot and bothered", why the heck was she lying out in the sun?


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## Doggiedelight (Jan 27, 2015)

ouesi said:


> Well this thread has certainly been an education for me...
> 
> So basically if you're in pain it's okay to lash out? Hrm... I though the mark of a mature adult is to be able to maintain self control even when upset.
> 
> ...


Well none of that is what im saying.
I don't think If im honest anyone is saying that. No one is perfect. As much as we all like to think we are. I agree lashing out isnt justifable, especially not more than once. The person isn't trying to justify it though!! She knows she was wrong.
Yes "the mark of a mature adult is to maintain self control even when upset" HOWEVER I have never kept control a 100% of the time, Ive shouted and screamed! I even once threw a remote control during an argument with my husband. My only regret then was my poor aim!! I must not be a mature adult then? Perhaps im ready for the nuthouse... actually I probably am so dont answer that 
I cant imagine for 1 second YOU have kept 100% control of your emotions in your life. That wouldnt make you a mature adult, it would make you a bloody robot!!

I dont think anyone is blaming the dog either. What most are saying is that the person was in pain and wrongly lashed out. They know that. They feel guilty.

Its how they move on and dont let it happen again thats important!!


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

But what's to stop it happening again?

I felt terrible even having to stop Rudi using my hand in the park that day. I had no choice, as she had boiled over, become slightly hysterical and was not listening to my voice at all. Having said that, I should have realised she was reaching that pitch and put her back on the lead sooner.

I have never hit a dog in anger, let alone five or six times, and I've been bitten, scratched, sent flying and trodden on.


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Doggiedelight said:


> Well none of that is what im saying.
> I don't think If im honest anyone is saying that. No one is perfect. As much as we all like to think we are. I agree lashing out isnt justifable, especially not more than once. The person isn't trying to justify it though!! She knows she was wrong.
> Yes "the mark of a mature adult is to maintain self control even when upset" HOWEVER I have never kept control a 100% of the time, Ive shouted and screamed! I even once threw a remote control during an argument with my husband. I must not be a mature adult then? Perhaps im ready for the nuthouse... actually I probably am so dont answer that
> I cant imagine for 1 second YOU have kept 100% control of your emotions in your life. That wouldnt make you a mature adult, it would make you a bloody robot!!
> ...


Although your quote I guess is so tongue in cheek about being in the nuthouse...after working working with a select few with mental health problems, who you have been in psychiatric units, I actually find it quite offensive...and funnily enough its not as often as you think they are as violent and aggressive.


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2016)

Oh for Pete's sake I already said I've let out a string of expletives at times and no, I'm not perfect. 
What is boggling my mind is that people are excusing being physically violent with a sentient creature if you're hurt.
BTW, my comments are directed at those excusing the OP's behavior. Not the OP who clearly knows what they did is very wrong and feels terribly about it. The people saying "oh no worries" are the ones I'm talking to.

I gave two very good examples. Child kneeing a man in the privates, and my own child head-butting me in the face. Is anyone really saying it would be "understandable" to react to a child accidentally hurting you by walloping them over and over? Good gawd I hope not!

So why should it be any different for a dog? If we humans can manage to not beat our children when they accidentally knee us in the nuts, or bite a boob while breastfeeding, I don't think it's too tall an order to expect us humans to be able to not beat our dogs when they accidentally hurt us.


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Sweety said:


> But what's to stop it happening again?
> 
> I felt terrible even having to stop Rudi using my hand in the park that day. I had no choice, as she had boiled over, become slightly hysterical and was not listening to my voice at all. Having said that, I should have realised she was reaching that pitch and put her back on the lead sooner.
> 
> I have never hit a dog in anger, let alone five or six times, and I've been bitten, scratched, sent flying and trodden on.


Isn't the words 'sent flying and trodden on' just an everyday occurrence with a staffy. They have no spatial awareness!

I swear I get bruised daily, but no I don't lash out, my hubby doesn't lash out with the flying leap to the genitals which happens at least twice weekly.


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## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

I knew this thread would blow up as soon as I saw it. I don't think it is fair to compare what happened to beating a child or attacking someone after causing an accident.

Trigger stacking can apply to people equally as it can to dogs, and the right culmination of factors coming together can result in someone acting out of character. The OP clearly recognises this and feels guilty and presumably doesn't make a habit of beating her dog. That doesn't make it right of course. I'm certainly not going to sit here and chastise someone that recognises that they made a mistake. Now people that inflict pain on their dogs via tools or techniques daily in the name of 'training' - that is a different kettle of fish


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

Sweety said:


> But what's to stop it happening again?
> 
> I felt terrible even having to stop Rudi using my hand in the park that day. I had no choice, as she had boiled over, become slightly hysterical and was not listening to my voice at all. Having said that, I should have realised she was reaching that pitch and put her back on the lead sooner.
> 
> I have never hit a dog in anger, let alone five or six times, and I've been bitten, scratched, sent flying and trodden on.


Eye injuries are a little different to this - I have had all these experiences and also had some very painful jabs from a cows horn. None of these things made me feel like lashing out. But when I had an eye injury, I would have hit anything or anyone in the vicinity. I think the OPs remorse combined with the unlikelihood of a similar injury recurring, make it unlikely this will happen again.


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## jamat (Jun 3, 2015)

I can understand when in considerable pain you can lash out...when i was 18 a friend of mine accidentally hit me in the face with a pool stick shattering my two front teeth.

As i stood there doubled over in pain he came over to me. In pain i thumped him in the chest hard and pushed him away.....

But i didn't beat him up....part of me knew it was an accident the other part just wanted him to stay away from me.

Alfie as a puppy was sat on my chest when he saw a cat in the garden, he ran up my body to get to the window and his claw got caught in my mouth ripping it badly enough to have a few stitches.....i admit i smacked his rear and put him in his pen.....again i didn't repeatedly hit him.


I feel sorry for the OP this has shaken their resolve in their ability to control their anger...all i can say is LET IT BE THE FIRST AND LAST TIME...its difficult to know how you will react in a given situation but now you are aware of the fact please please learn from it....and get back on track with your wonderful dog .....


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## Westie Mum (Feb 5, 2015)

Gemmaa said:


> One of my dogs headbutted me so hard he split my lip open, I was in too much pain to think about hitting him - nor did I have any desire to do so.


When Oscar run underneath me and I fell over smashing my head off a tall mirror and ended up with a bruised head and a broken toe, the last thing on my mind was smacking anyone!

And I 100% know if I was to ever "wallop" Oscar he would never forgive me! I accidentally trod on his foot a while back and he never came near me for days (which is a life time for a boy who has to be touching me 24/7).

It's the same as raising children, they will hurt you, break you and cause you so much pain at times .... But is it still OK to hit them ? No, I don't think it is. I've managed 23 years of not smacking my son, not once!

Edited to add: immediately after the broken toe incident I was on the floor screaming and crying, Oscar knew something wasn't right and I honestly do believe he realised he had caused it, he sat by my side licking my face with a very worried expression so I was trying to reassure him everything was OK aswell as trying to calm myself down. Not for one second was there an ounce of temper!

And believe me - I have a temper when it comes to my OH lol (joking, kinda .... Maybe :Shamefullyembarrased )


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Doggiedelight said:


> Well none of that is what im saying.
> I don't think If im honest anyone is saying that. No one is perfect. As much as we all like to think we are. I agree lashing out isnt justifable, especially not more than once. The person isn't trying to justify it though!! She knows she was wrong.
> Yes "the mark of a mature adult is to maintain self control even when upset" HOWEVER I have never kept control a 100% of the time, Ive shouted and screamed! I even once threw a remote control during an argument with my husband. My only regret then was my poor aim!! I must not be a mature adult then? Perhaps im ready for the nuthouse... actually I probably am so dont answer that
> I cant imagine for 1 second YOU have kept 100% control of your emotions in your life. That wouldnt make you a mature adult, it would make you a bloody robot!!
> ...


Lashing out as in a knee jerk reaction smack before brain is engaged is completely different to 4 or 5 quite hard wallops though.


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

labradrk said:


> I knew this thread would blow up as soon as I saw it. I don't think it is fair to compare what happened to beating a child or attacking someone after causing an accident.
> 
> Trigger stacking can apply to people equally as it can to dogs, and the right culmination of factors coming together can result in someone acting out of character. The OP clearly recognises this and feels guilty and presumably doesn't make a habit of beating her dog. That doesn't make it right of course. I'm certainly not going to sit here and chastise someone that recognises that they made a mistake. Now people that inflict pain on their dogs via tools or techniques daily in the name of 'training' - that is a different kettle of fish


Completely agree. I remember one time when I had fractured my wrist & it was just healing .... Archer launched himslef at me one night becuase I was trying to ignore him, it really hurt & I went to put him in his crate when he launched himslef at me again, withmy good arm I really whacked him away before he could connect with me again. Partly because I didn't want him to hurt me & artly because I was soi p*ssed off with him for doing it again.

Was I angry? Yes & in pain, did I want to punish him for it ... if I really admit it yes I did regardless of how that sounds. He went in his crate & I left him there for about an hour.

Does that make me a bad owner? No, I don't think so I just had a gutful that day & he pushed his luck. I am not perfect, it's not something I would recommend & nor is it logical if we are looking at 'punishment' in a true sense but I am human & I make mistakes .... he was fine ... I'll bet he never thought aiout it ever again.


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## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

I'm trying to think back to the numerous moments clumsy Milly has caused me blinding pain by not watching where she's going, or using me as a springboard. All I can accurately remember is the pain and the thought flashing through my head that, this time, she's actually broken something, so I admire those who have the ability to think so clearly in those instances as to know exactly how you react/ed to those situations - and, no, I'm not being sarcastic or "funny", or having a go. I'm being genuine. 

Trying to go back into that fog, I think I react by screaming like a banshee and hurling a few choice expletives in her general direction, but lashing out with hands/feet? I think I'm too focussed on the pain to do more than flap my arm weakly in the General direction of anything coming towards me...

One recent incident, which I can recall with more clarity, was a few weeks ago, when lying on the settee, Milly smacked me in the eye. I can't even remember the moments before it, or why she did it - I think she was aiming for my chest, or my hand (which, with the way I lie, was probably close to my face) I pushed her off the settee, away from me, but think I just lay there, nursing my eye, and hoping she hadn't blinded me while the pain subsided. I know I had neither the inclination, or the strength to then go and beat her.

OP, I admire your courage for posting this, and to then come back, but some of us here have rescue dogs who had been beaten -- deliberately beaten - by previous owners. My lurcher is one of them, so reacting to her the way you acted towards your dog, in my mind, would make me no better than the barstools who were found beating her up. Think about that for a second.

Whether or not you should own dogs is not for me to say. If this totally was out of character, and your dog forgives you, then maybe, with time, you and your dog will be fine and able to work on rebuilding the trust. But while you're working on his self control (i.e., not using you as a springboard), perhaps work on your own, work on your own, too.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

I've had bones in my foot broken by my horse standing on it and also broke my thumb when he spooked and bashed into me trapping my thumb, of course I shouted and swore and asked him nicely to get off but I never thought to set about him or punish him. Why would I? he didn't do it on purpose any more than the OP's dog stood on her eye on purpose.


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## TammieT (Aug 25, 2016)

Sweety said:


> I have been in that situation. When Rudi was coming at me like a train, I had to stop her. I really felt she would break my knee or leg if she ran into me again. I put out my hand and connected with her chest. It wasn't a clout or a thump and it wasn't done out of anger and was quickly followed with a positive, happy game for her.
> 
> Similarly, when my horse stood on my hand and broke three of my fingers. At no point did I feel the need to inflict pain on him by way of retribution.
> 
> I have to ask, if the OP was "feeling hot and bothered", why the heck was she lying out in the sun?


I was laying in a shady part of my garden if you really must know, not that it even matters?



ouesi said:


> Oh for Pete's sake I already said I've let out a string of expletives at times and no, I'm not perfect.
> What is boggling my mind is that people are excusing being physically violent with a sentient creature if you're hurt.
> BTW, my comments are directed at those excusing the OP's behavior. Not the OP who clearly knows what they did is very wrong and feels terribly about it. The people saying "oh no worries" are the ones I'm talking to.
> 
> ...


I googled this just now about lashing out at your children in a moment of anger and there were surprisingly a lot of results, mostly on netmums of women who have and have felt incredibly guilty after.



rottiepointerhouse said:


> I've had bones in my foot broken by my horse standing on it and also broke my thumb when he spooked and bashed into me trapping my thumb, of course I shouted and swore and asked him nicely to get off but I never thought to set about him or punish him. Why would I? he didn't do it on purpose any more than the OP's dog stood on her eye on purpose.


I think we've all gathered that only a very small number of people here have lashed out in a moment of anger.


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

I have recently been thinking about this a slightly different way. 

If someone were attacked by a dog, would they be wrong to hurt the dog in an attempt to stop the attack?


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

TammieT said:


> I was laying in a shady part of my garden if you really must know, not that it even matters?
> 
> I googled this just now about lashing out at your children in a moment of anger and there were surprisingly a lot of results, mostly on netmums of women who have and have felt incredibly guilty after.
> 
> I think we've all gathered that only a very small number of people here have lashed out in a moment of anger.


I must have got confused when you said in your OP, "Today, we were enjoying the sunshine together in the garden".

A tad difficult to enjoy the sunshine lying in the shade.


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## Doggiedelight (Jan 27, 2015)

lullabydream said:


> Although your quote I guess is so tongue in cheek about being in the nuthouse...after working working with a select few with mental health problems, who you have been in psychiatric units, I actually find it quite offensive...and funnily enough its not as often as you think they are as violent and aggressive.


I work part time for Adult Mental Health in the North sector of the area of where I live. I have a lovely bond with a lot of the people I work with. I dont find comments like that offensive. I AM genuinely sorry if you did.
You cant say ANYTHING these days without SOMEONE finding it offensive though-That much is true! :/
My apology to you as I said above is genuine.


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## Doggiedelight (Jan 27, 2015)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> Lashing out as in a knee jerk reaction smack before brain is engaged is completely different to 4 or 5 quite hard wallops though.


I completely agree.


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

KatieandOliver said:


> I have recently been thinking about this a slightly different way.
> 
> If someone were attacked by a dog, would they be wrong to hurt the dog in an attempt to stop the attack?


Depending on the breed you maybe fighting for your life...that is a totally different scenario.

But, I know my OH has broken ups dogfight, not ours but someone else's. He got hurts in the process, and no he didn't decided to kick or hit both dogs for the pain they caused them after he had managed to tear them apart with owners stood watching!

This was clearly a dog zooming around the garden used the OP as a springboard and the result was eye injury.


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## TammieT (Aug 25, 2016)

Sweety said:


> I must have got confused when you said in your OP, "Today, we were enjoying the sunshine together in the garden".
> 
> A tad difficult to enjoy the sunshine lying in the shade.


I don't know what you are getting at ?but to be fair have you never enjoyed a warm day whilst sat under a parasole or in the shade or am I alone in that.


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## Doggiedelight (Jan 27, 2015)

Sweety said:


> I must have got confused when you said in your OP, "Today, we were enjoying the sunshine together in the garden".
> 
> A tad difficult to enjoy the sunshine lying in the shade.


I disgree. Sorry. My husband always enjoys being in the garden on sunny days. He sits in a shady area on the garden and plays with the kids and dogs and relaxs. If he was to describe his day. Im sure it would include something along the lines of 'Enjoy the sunny weekend' etc.... doesnt describe his exact sitting position.


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

Sweety said:


> *I have been in that situation. When Rudi was coming at me like a train, I had to stop her. I really felt she would break my knee or leg if she ran into me again. I put out my hand and connected with her chest. It wasn't a clout or a thump and it wasn't done out of anger and was quickly followed with a positive, happy game for her.*
> 
> Similarly, when my horse stood on my hand and broke three of my fingers. At no point did I feel the need to inflict pain on him by way of retribution.
> 
> I have to ask, if the OP was "feeling hot and bothered", why the heck was she lying out in the sun?


Yes, if Dillon had been running at me i would have most likely been able to stop him, but at the end of a normal lengh lead having him jumping up and standing up on two legs playing bitting you very hard what else would you have done, a quick couple of smacks on his side slowed him down long enough to calm him down and we could carry on with our walk.


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## shirleystarr (Mar 22, 2009)

The OP lashed out at her dog while she was in pain he kept coming towards her so she smacked him 4 or 5 times Now she knows this was wrong I have rescue dogs that have been abused but I don't think this is a case of abuse at all I just think its a pain re action most wont agree with me but that's my thoughts on is I hope the OP can still build a bond with her dog and all will be well


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Doggiedelight said:


> I work part time for Adult Mental Health in the North sector of the area of where I live. I have a lovely bond with a lot of the people I work with. I dont find comments like that offensive. I AM genuinely sorry if you did.
> You cant say ANYTHING these days without SOMEONE finding it offensive though-That much is true! :/
> My apology to you as I said above is genuine.


Thank you, you might not find the comments offensive but the people who I work with now, find the stigma of actually being in a psychiatric unit awful. They find it hard to comprehend that they actually reached that level to either be sectioned or agree to go in voluntarily. They worry how new people in their lives will judge them, what if it happens again.

So I am pleased you like working with your service users, and find them nice.

Nice to know the mental health team doesn't find, nuthouse offensive.

There I was thinking mental health was maybe changing for the better...maybe not.


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## Kimmikins (Apr 9, 2016)

Deleted


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

Doggiedelight said:


> I disgree. Sorry. My husband always enjoys being in the garden on sunny days. He sits in a shady area on the garden and plays with the kids and dogs and relaxs. If he was to describe his day. Im sure it would include something along the lines of 'Enjoy the sunny weekend' etc.... doesnt describe his exact sitting position.


The OP mentioned in her first post that she was "hot and bothered" as a mitigating factor in what happened with her dog.

My question was quite reasonable. If you're hot and bothered, would you then go and lie on the garden on a hot day?


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

Kimmikins said:


> In another thread, I forget which, @ouesi discussed the difference between understanding why something happened and allowing it/implying it's ok because of the circumstances. I think it was somebody's dog had snapped at them when they approached them on their bed?
> I think I view it like that; I can understand why it happened, but it doesn't make it ok. But you, OP, know this. That's why you were seeking our...understanding? Our thoughts?
> 
> When Sara and Fidget were fighting, really fighting, and we were on constant management...one evening we came home to find that he'd chewed a black ink pen on the sofa. I totally lost it. I shouted at him. I threw him in the garden (not literally!) and shut him out there. I told him I hated him, that I wished we hadn't agreed to foster him, that I wanted him gone. So many hateful things because it had all, at that point, got too much. I was in too deep and I couldn't cope that night.* I never hit him though*. I thought I wanted to, but my god...to ever hit Fidgey would destroy him. So while I can understand the mentality, you and I know it's not ok. And now you just have to make sure it never happens again.


But if we are looking at what affects a dog & is more 'cruel' it doesn't have to be physical punishment that is the worst thing you can do to your dog. For some dogs it might be ignoring them, shouting at them, etc. As I said I whacked Archer (my young GSD when he launched himself at me for the second time) but tbh he wasn't that bothered.

The worst thing I ever did to him which I will never do again was showing my disappointment, sounds minor but for him he was very affected by that. It was when we were tracking & he didn't indcate an article correctly, it had been an ongoing training issue which I thought we had sorted but then happened again......I literally let go of his trackingline, said 'Oh FFS' & walked off .... he was so upset, tried offering behaviours, ran over to another article & did a great indication but I ignored him & walked towards my bouse .... that was the wost thing I have ever done to him & no physical correction at all


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## TammieT (Aug 25, 2016)

Sweety said:


> The OP mentioned in her first post that she was "hot and bothered" as a mitigating factor in what happened with her dog.
> 
> My question was quite reasonable. If you're hot and bothered, would you then go and lie on the garden on a hot day?


It was hotter inside my house than it was outside in the shade. My front room is a sun trap. I wasn't having a very good day, it was stuffy and hot inside. I decided to go and try to chill out in the shade in my garden with a cold drink.


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## LoopyL (Jun 16, 2015)

The OP already feels terrible for hitting her dog and knows she shouldn't have so I think it would be more constructive to offer advice to help
her rebuild Stanley's trust.


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## shirleystarr (Mar 22, 2009)

LoopyL said:


> The OP already feels terrible for hitting her dog and knows she shouldn't have so I think it would be more constructive to offer advice to help
> her rebuild Stanley's trust.


I agree and I think to build the trust maybe the OP could when her eye is better take the dog to a special place spend a day just walking maybe somewhere nice and give the dog lots of cuddles well that's what I would do


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## Doggiedelight (Jan 27, 2015)

lullabydream said:


> Thank you, you might not find the comments offensive but the people who I work with now, find the stigma of actually being in a psychiatric unit awful. They find it hard to comprehend that they actually reached that level to either be sectioned or agree to go in voluntarily. They worry how new people in their lives will judge them, what if it happens again.
> 
> So I am pleased you like working with your service users, and find them nice.
> 
> ...


Totally off topic here but the powers that be can never decide if we are supposed to call the people we work with 'patients' or 'service users' or 'clients'. We seem to get a new email every few month with new instruction!


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## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

An awful lot of people in this thread seem to have been ballroom dancing with their horse.


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## Doggiedelight (Jan 27, 2015)

Sweety said:


> The OP mentioned in her first post that she was "hot and bothered" as a mitigating factor in what happened with her dog.
> 
> My question was quite reasonable. If you're hot and bothered, would you then go and lie on the garden on a hot day?


Probably hot & bothered by being in the garden. Even being in the shade. Yesterdat made me hot & bothered even with the fan on me, it was horribly humid!


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

I'd say the OP is lucky her dog is so forgiving of her mistakes. Some of us have dogs that would not tolerate being smacked very well!



Happy Paws said:


> Believe me unless you are in the situation, you don't know how you would react it's so easy to to condem someone without seeing and really understanding what happened. I never thought I'd hit Dillon but when he was in a red zone there was nothing else I could do. All the training he knew went out of the window you could stay anything and as far as he was conserned I was talking in a forgeign language I just could get though to him.
> 
> TammieT, I hope you'll stick around, there are a lots of lovely people on here who are willing to help you and at times you may be able to help them. There are few who drive me crazy so I put them on ignore but only for a while.


What's a 'red zone'? Do you mean aggressive behavior?


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

As MrsZee has just pointed out my hypocrisy regarding this thread:Shamefullyembarrased I feel I am now obliged, by conscience, to make a confession.
During rhe summer of 2015 I hit a dog several times in the face. Hard! 
But the circumstances were exceptionally different from the one the OP describes.
In self defence I hit the effin' animal so hard it lost two of its teeth. This course of action was decided upon because after the thing attacked Oscar, severely injuring him, it then turned its attentions on me. This attack resulted in me suffering numerous puncture wounds to my hand, three dislocated fingers and a torn rotator cuff. 

Please note; I have never raised a hand in anger or aggression towards any other animal prior to the above incident.:Sorry


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

Dogloverlou said:


> I'd say the OP is lucky her dog is so forgiving of her mistakes. Some of us have dogs that would not tolerate being smacked very well!
> 
> *What's a 'red zone'? Do you mean aggressive behavior?*


No, maybe I should have bright pink, he was just been totally crazy and not listening to what was been said.
When he was like that at home it was easy to walk away and leave him in another room until he calmed down. You can't do that when you are out in the street walking on a lead with a 46 kg dog jumping around like a Jumping Jack and playing bitting your arm, and it was a few quick smacks not a beating.

1. I was frighten of him pushing me into the road.
2. I was worried that he might knock someone over as they tried to walk past us.
3. It Bl**dy hurt.


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## ForestWomble (May 2, 2013)

I hope your eye recovers quickly OP. 
Please stick around and you will see that it is a lovely place to be.


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Zaros said:


> As MrsZee has just pointed out my hypocrisy regarding this thread:Shamefullyembarrased I feel I am now obliged, by conscience, to make a confession.
> During rhe summer of 2015 I hit a dog several times in the face. Hard!
> But the circumstances were exceptionally different from the one the OP describes.
> In self defence I hit the effin' animal so hard it lost two of its teeth. This course of action was decided upon because after the thing attacked Oscar, severely injuring him, it then turned its attentions on me. This attack resulted in me suffering numerous puncture wounds to my hand, three dislocated fingers and a torn rotator cuff.
> ...


As I have already stated a dog attacking a human with a complete will to cause harm, and depending on breed. You may be fighting for your life, its a total different scenario. I am guessing it wasn't a 2kg chi you were wrestling off Oscar!


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## stuaz (Sep 22, 2012)

You realise you did something wrong with hitting your dog repeatedly so I think best thing is probably just to move on. 

We are not talking about abuse here, and your dog will probably have forgotten about it and so should you.


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

lullabydream said:


> As I have already stated a dog attacking a human with a complete will to cause harm, and depending on breed. You may be fighting for your life, its a total different scenario.* I am guessing it wasn't a 2kg chi you were wrestling off Oscar*!


It would have been a bit embarrassing if that was true.:Shamefullyembarrased

For both of us :Facepalm

The scallywag that attacked us was an American Akita.

I'm told it barkth with a lithp now


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## Acidic Angel (May 8, 2012)

I would like to just point out that what I am about to post may not agree with everyone here, and I can accept that. Ignore me or whatever if you must, if you feel you need to then do that.

From what I can gather of this thread the following happened:
1. OP was enjoying a warm day, but laying in the shade as it was cooler outside- My flat gets like this and sometimes I go and stand outside my front door because it's cooler than my flat.
2. Dog started going crazy and happened to jump across the OP, causing a very painful sounding and potentially blinding injury.
3. OP stood up, effing and blinding at their dog for the accident, the dog then decided to repeatedly jump up at the OP. I assume the dog thought they were playing.
4. In an attempt to get the dog away while they got inside to nurse their injured eye, the OP smacked their dog away while it was jumping up. As the dog was, as mentioned, repeatedly jumping up this needed repeating before the dog would listen. I can only imagine how it would have ended up if the OP had just tried walking away from an already excited and big dog that was jumping up... Having been on that end before, it probably would have ended with the OP face first to the ground- Possibly causing more injury. Though when it happened to me I wasn't already injured.

Now, I can't judge how hard the smacks given were. The OP says they were "wallops", but everyone's "wallop" is different. My "wallop" is anything hard enough to send the subject flying heavily backwards, which would also be accompanied by a yelp of pain which the OP has stated the dog did not give. Since the dog came back repeatedly I would also assume the hits did not hurt.
Another thing I would like to point out is that everyone deals with pain differently. I nearly passed out having my ears pierced(and yet I want tattoo's, go figure..) but I have friends who have had multiple *very* sensitive areas pierced and not even flinched. All I'm saying is what would send me to the verge of passing out, could be absolutely nothing more than an annoyance for someone else.

Am I saying that I condone beating a dog for the smallest thing? No. 
Am I saying that the OP reacted in anger and pain? Yes.
Should the OP have maybe had a bit more control over their actions? Yes, probably. But I'm not going to say it's completely unacceptable in a moment of blind panic and pain to react in a way different to what you normally would.

Then again, I also agree with smacking children when they misbehave. Not hard enough to leave a mark, and not across the face, etc.. A smack on the bum, gentle enough that it doesn't leave a mark but hard enough that it lets the child know they've done wrong. Sometimes talking to children doesn't work to get their attention and tell them they've done wrong. Maybe this is because I was brought up this way, by all sides of the family. I don't know, most likely really. Did it damage me mentally to be smacked for misbehaving? Nope. What damaged me mentally was the bullying I went through in school, but that's a different subject.


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

You're lucky that it appears your dog is quite confident because as previously mentioned a wallop that was '4-5 times' could have certainly ruined a relationship for a more sensitive dog.

This is why dogs are so much better than people.. people can hurt them and usually they always forgive..


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## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

There is absolutely NO point whatsoever people saying "well my dog broke every bone in my body and I never thought to do this/lash out/do that, I smiled and got over it". Every person is different, no two sets of circumstances are the same. To profess to understand a circumstance that you did not bear witness to, from the perspective of someone else that could be going through anything, is impossible. Now if the OP had said that smacking her dog was a regular occurrence then I'd agree help needs to be sought somewhere, but clearly they don't make a habit of it. It was a mistake. The comparisons to child abuse are just ridiculous and totally irrelevant.


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## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

Acidic Angel said:


> I would like to just point out that what I am about to post may not agree with everyone here, and I can accept that. Ignore me or whatever if you must, if you feel you need to then do that.
> 
> From what I can gather of this thread the following happened:
> 1. OP was enjoying a warm day, but laying in the shade as it was cooler outside- My flat gets like this and sometimes I go and stand outside my front door because it's cooler than my flat.
> ...


If we still had rep I'd totally rep you for this......well said!


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## Biffo (Mar 14, 2016)

OP

I hope you're still here and are going to stick around?


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## Biffo (Mar 14, 2016)

I don't smack my dogs when they misbehave and I don't agree with smacking people when they misbehave either.


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## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

diefenbaker said:


> An awful lot of people in this thread seem to have been ballroom dancing with their horse.


Shame they've got two left feet


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## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

Biffo said:


> I don't smack my dogs when they misbehave and I don't agree with smacking people when they misbehave either.


Who said they smack their dog as a matter of course when they 'misbehave', whatever that means? oh yeah, no one.....


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## MrRustyRead (Mar 14, 2011)

Jax likes being smacked/patted on the bum.... ha, i have a very odd dog ha


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## Acidic Angel (May 8, 2012)

Biffo said:


> I don't smack my dogs when they misbehave and I don't agree with smacking people when they misbehave either.


I didn't see anyone say they agree with smacking a dog that misbehaves in general? I certainly didn't, I even stated I disagree with it.
As for smacking children, that is very dependant on the subject at hand really for me. As an example, when I was younger I repeatedly bit my mum because I thought it was funny. She tried telling me no, that hurts but I didn't listen. So she smacked my bum, I stopped biting her. I only know this because she and my dad told me of course but I would react the same way if being bitten by my child to be honest.

I'm not saying "smack a child for screaming" or "smack a child for dropping something", those are extreme. I'm saying I think it's OK to smack a child if they are showing the potential to hurt themselves or others and not listening to words.


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## Biffo (Mar 14, 2016)

Labradrk my apologies, I was writing as I was thinking and was unclear. I cross posted initially and my second post was responding to



Acidic Angel said:


> Then again, I also agree with smacking children when they misbehave. Not hard enough to leave a mark, and not across the face, etc.. A smack on the bum, gentle enough that it doesn't leave a mark but hard enough that it lets the child know they've done wrong. Sometimes talking to children doesn't work to get their attention and tell them they've done wrong.


I was smacked as a child a lot. It was said as a point of pride that I was smacked until her hand hurt. I don't like smacking as a way of teaching, I don't use it. I don't think other people should on animals or people.

My posts to the OP have been supportive, and constructive. I hate smacking.

I am not suggesting anyone said they routinely uses smacking to discipline their dog. I was responding to the comment about children, and saying I wouldn't use smacking to teach dogs or children.


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## elmthesofties (Aug 8, 2011)

I'm not on this section much but hey-ho, just another thing to add.
Fight or flight is a thing. When you're lying down and relaxing, your response to pain is going to be very different to when you're awake. I've elbowed and shoved my animals away multiple times when they've come up to me when I was asleep, even though they never hurt me. As soon as I've woken up enough to understand the situation, I feel terrible about it. (they always get invited back up for cuddles, which they're usually pretty happy to receive)

If OP was zoned out, suddenly in great pain, and the thing that inflicted great pain was still jumping up repeatedly, you can barely see, etc, I could understand why your instinct would be to hit until the pain causer went away. When you're not fully aware of what's going on and you're panicking, it's maybe not a good representation of you.


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## Acidic Angel (May 8, 2012)

Biffo said:


> I was smacked as a child a lot. It was said as a point of pride that I was smacked until her hand hurt. I don't like smacking as a way of teaching, I don't use it. I don't think other people should on animals or people.
> 
> My posts to the OP have been supportive, and constructive. I hate smacking.
> 
> I am not suggesting anyone said they routinely uses smacking to discipline their dog. I was responding to the comment about children, and saying I wouldn't use smacking to teach dogs or children.


I can understand how you would feel like that, given that you were smacked the way you were. From what you've said it sounds like you were smacked for every little wrong thing, which is probably the difference between how you and I were raised. I was smacked, yes. But my mother never "boasted" about smacking me and she never smacked me for things I listened to. She only resorted to it if I wasn't listening to her and was in danger of injuring myself or others. Another time was when I climbed up on the sofa and refused to get down, had she not smacked my bum and got me down I could have fallen and broken something. I know of some parents that would say "I'd rather my child break a bone and learn from that than smack their bottom" which is a backwards way of thinking IMO.

But anyway, I'm rambling again. As I said, I can understand why you feel that way  Where would the world be without varying opinions though eh?


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## Biffo (Mar 14, 2016)

Sorry Acidic Angel, my version of smacking sounds very different to yours, I didn't mean to insult you.

Back to the thread...

Reacting instinctively in pain and fear happens, move forward and don't beat your self up.

Laying into them until your hand hurts because you are angry, you need help.


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## Jackien4 (May 16, 2015)

I would just forget it now, he probably hurt you more then you hurt him. Just be aware that something like that doesn't happen in the future. To come on here and tell everyone shows that you are a caring person and love your dog, and he has probably forgot all about it. Hope your eye is ok now .


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## Acidic Angel (May 8, 2012)

Biffo said:


> Sorry Acidic Angel, my version of smacking sounds very different to yours, I didn't mean to insult you.
> 
> Back to the thread...
> 
> ...


I wasn't insulted at all  But yes, we have derailed a little bit lol.


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## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Not quite finished reading all the replies yet, and I could be mistaken in thinking that people are referring to my 2nd post on this thread, but at no point did I say, or imply that the OP abuses her dog.

I agree that we all react differently in all manner of different scenarios, and I did say that with time and work, so long as the OP is truly sorry and finds alternative methods of dealing with pain/anger, there's no reason she and her dog can't put this behind them and move on.


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## Ceiling Kitty (Mar 7, 2010)

I remember one, single occasion when I was a child, misbehaving and winding my mother up so much that she grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me hard. There was no physical harm done and it didn't screw me up. My parents were/are both awesome and I am fortunate enough to have been raised in a loving home that was the furthest thing from abusive you can imagine.

My mother was sobbing as she shook me. It was a violent act, but a singular occasion and it was visceral. Whether she had something else going on that day or I was just being extra extra bad I don't know, but it wasn't the norm for her and she snapped.

My point is, we all have situations that make us behave 'abnormally' and 'abnormal' is different for everyone. Maybe 'out of character ' is a better description than abnormal. If you are normally someone who would never use violence, I would forgive you one time in an extreme situation. If you often fly off the handle in a violent manner, I'd say you need help - and if you do so without remorse or reflection then I'd say you need help and you're an *******.

Extreme fear or pain are suitable explanations for that 'one-time-out-of-character' thing. But I agree that it isn't acceptable to lash out physically every time you panic, are hurt or angry. If that's happening regularly, you need some help.

I tend to wiggle my feet when I have a smear test. Not sure why, always have done. I hope every time I don't kick the nurse! I haven't yet (although I can see some do look worried and I always warn them that I'm going to wiggle my feet). If I was to accidentally jerk my foot and kick them, even if not hard, I would be mortified and it would be completely unacceptable. I wouldn't chalk it up to the procedure being uncomfortable in order to justify my knee-jerk (literally!) reaction, nor would I apportion any blame on the nurse, benign or otherwise. That would be my crappy self-control and it would be indefensible.

With regards to this situation, the OP sustained an eye injury that sounds bloody nasty and potentially extremely serious. While everyone is different and I've no intention of speaking for others, I personally would be more panicky had I been hammered in the eye than, say, injured my arm. Because you can't see your eye, and they are delicate and precious... I'd probably have visions of my cornea being perforated and my aqueous humour running down my face and while I wouldn't chase my dog and hit him, if he jumped up me at that point I'd likely give him a firm shove and a shout while I stumbled for the house. The firm shove may even be a lot rougher than I would normally limit myself to and would be comfortable with.

I cut the OP some slack here for their reaction, but I must agree with some of the others that - in my view based on my own ethics - more than one strike in such a situation is unjustified. An exception would be if the dog was repeatedly jumping up as you were trying to walk away and you were just trying desperately to get the dog down. In that case it becomes a training issue to work in in future.

Sure, we can pick apart the scenario and ask if the OP was wise to lie down in the garden with a bouncy dog but we all do things that, in hindsight, are stupid. On Friday I leant on an old stool that I had been told was rickety. I just forgot. I went straight through the bugger and now have a bruise on my thigh and a bump on my head as a reminder.

I've never hit an animal for any reason, but I have been known to crack my knuckles into a wall or table when bristling with frustration sometimes. And I cannot guarantee 100% that I would never lash out at human or animal in extremis in the future.

For what it's worth, I got pelted in the eye by a small wooden croquet ball when I was a young teenager. My cousin hit it with a bat and I saw it flying towards my eye like a cartoon. It hurt, it went murky - next thing I knew I was on the floor next to my parents' bed sobbing. My baffled mother had followed me up from the living room when I'd run through from the garden screaming. For some unknown reason, after being hit with the ball I'd run indoors, past my mum, up the stairs and curled up behind the bed in my parents room. No idea why and don't remember getting there - TBH, if I'd punched someone en route I probably wouldn't have remembered and certainly would not have been fully accountable for my actions in that state. It was really weird.

So I know everyone deals with pain differently, but I know such a thing has happened to me and so could again, and may happen to others as well.

OP hope you stick around. Things won't get sugar-coated here and that's okay - sugar-coating isn't always helpful in the long run anyway.


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2016)

CuddleMonster said:


> @ouesi I am sorry to hear that you too have had a dog stand on your eye - I hope you made a full recovery?


Aw... Thank you for your heartfelt and genuine concern.



TammieT said:


> I googled this just now about lashing out at your children in a moment of anger and there were surprisingly a lot of results, mostly on netmums of women who have and have felt incredibly guilty after.


That something happens, and happens relatively frequently does not indicate anything other than these incidents do happen frequently.

It's sad. Parents are not supported, they're frazzled, they're sleep deprived, they don't have enough help, they're stressed. Still doesn't make it okay for children to bear the brunt of parental lack of self-control. 
It's not about blaming parents, but about trying to right the kinds of situations that lead to parents losing it on their kids.

Some parents lash out and permanently damage their children. 
Shaken baby syndrome is one result. 
And yes, it happens a lot.

Ironic really that this thread should show pup on the heels of the thread where the poor child was killed by a dog. 
Ironic because more children are killed by their parents and caretakers than any other cause of death. 
Yet on the other thread there is post after post about what to do about dangerous dogs, what's the problem, how can we solve it... A "problem" that isn't even a problem in light of the number of children killed by adults losing their cool.

Don't misunderstand, I am in no way likening the OP to a parent who kills their child.

However, I do find it sad that we don't seem to care that much about human temperament, human stressors that lead to aberrant behavior, and what needs to be done to support each other and educate parents on how to deal with their emotions. So many "what should we do?" questions when a dog bites a child, but parents injure their children at an alarming rate, and not only does no one know about it, no one seems worried that we should be trying to do something about it.

Again, @TammieT this is not directed at you personally in any way, I'm simply commenting on what you found in your google search.

And yes, parents do feel incredibly guilty should be supported here too. Because the guilt does not help either, but instead just adds to the trigger stacking if you will. Basically we all need support and encouragement to better our coping skills, and the education to be able to do so.

When I say it's not okay to lose your shit and lash out, that's not a condemnation of the person who did it. It's simply a statement that if that is happening, something needs to change. 
Aren't we ALL are a work in progress and should be striving to do better tomorrow than we did today?



Acidic Angel said:


> Then again, I also agree with smacking children when they misbehave.


I don't. And I can't wait for the day that we come to realize that a parent smacking a child is no more acceptable than it was years ago for a husband to smack a wife (as used to be the norm too). 
So I guess it's fair to say humanity itself is a work in progress and should be striving to do better


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## lemmsy (May 12, 2008)

I'm afraid to say OP, that I agree with those who do not understand why you responded with four or five hits?

I've been headbutted, accidentally smacked around the face with toys and walloped by toddlers/young kids and never have reacted by hitting even once. I might squeal in pain or call out 'seriously *kid's name' but lash out physically, nope.

Likewise, I have had dogs accidentally miss their toys (that I'm holding) and get my hand instead. Did I hit them? Hell no. In fact, whenever possible I try to hide the pain and show no reaction at all if pos, (screaming inside your head works well I find ) so that I don't make their owner feel ridiculously bad. They will see the dog miss as it happens anyway, so will likely feel bad for that as it is. We'll work on it if it's a recurring issue, impulse control exercises, more suitable toy etc, but me making a song and dance about it is hardly helpful. That's what you get when you spend time or work with dogs. The occasional trip up or collision with fast moving- zooming dog and slow reacting human. No biggie.


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Acidic Angel said:


> I can understand how you would feel like that, given that you were smacked the way you were. From what you've said it sounds like you were smacked for every little wrong thing, which is probably the difference between how you and I were raised. I was smacked, yes. But my mother never "boasted" about smacking me and she never smacked me for things I listened to. She only resorted to it if I wasn't listening to her and was in danger of injuring myself or others. Another time was when I climbed up on the sofa and refused to get down, had she not smacked my bum and got me down I could have fallen and broken something. I know of some parents that would say "I'd rather my child break a bone and learn from that than smack their bottom" which is a backwards way of thinking IMO.
> 
> But anyway, I'm rambling again. As I said, I can understand why you feel that way  Where would the world be without varying opinions though eh?


Am with Ouesi, I don't believe in smacking.

I don't understand your justification for your parents smacking either..

Biting, climbing on things because children see no sense of danger and not listening is what children do.

No one would expect a child to hurt themselves to teach themselves a lesson, that would be few and far between if they did.

Using smacking to prevent harm to others or themselves well what sort of warped logic is that?

Depending on age and stages of development you will be waiting a long time to be truly listened to and understood.

My full-time job is working with children with Autism. Many of them would be horrified if I treated them any different to those who do not carry the label. However if I told their parents to smack them if they did something that could harm themselves or others, they would turn up daily black and blue. Their are more kinder, sensible methods to deal with unwanted behaviour, that children understand than smacking in my opinion.

You may never have bit your mum again, but I bet others would!

The smack will be remembered, but what it was for is often forgotten.


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## komondor_owner (Jan 19, 2016)

deleted


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## Blaise in Surrey (Jun 10, 2014)

ouesi said:


> I'm with you @Nonnie
> When my son was a toddler, he jumped up in to the shirt I was bending down to put on him and managed to smash his head in to my face breaking my nose.
> I saw stars, it hurt like hell, but I did not respond by beating the crap out of my child, and I'm not sure anyone on here would be defending my actions had I done that.
> 
> But, FWIW, my BS-o-meter is going off so I'll just leave it at that


My god-daughter did exactly the same to me when she was about three. She's now thirty-two and I've just reminded her of it - she was mortified! (Oh, and I didn't hit her...)


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## ROBERT HARKNESS (Jul 27, 2016)

Ok so you wolloped your dog 5 or 6 times and you came on here feeling bad about doing it you cant turn back the clock on what has happened you can only move forward and yes ofcourse it was wrong but if it happens again. Then you have a problem with your anger which will only get worse. No one is perfect so i thought until i was reading through this it did make have a chuckle i never new there was so many perfect people out there but i suppose you learn somthing new everyday. But keep your chin up


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## jamat (Jun 3, 2015)

Acidic Angel said:


> I can understand how you would feel like that, given that you were smacked the way you were. From what you've said it sounds like you were smacked for every little wrong thing, which is probably the difference between how you and I were raised. I was smacked, yes. But my mother never "boasted" about smacking me and she never smacked me for things I listened to. She only resorted to it if I wasn't listening to her and was in danger of injuring myself or others. Another time was when I climbed up on the sofa and refused to get down, had she not smacked my bum and got me down I could have fallen and broken something. I know of some parents that would say "I'd rather my child break a bone and learn from that than smack their bottom" which is a backwards way of thinking IMO.
> 
> But anyway, I'm rambling again. As I said, I can understand why you feel that way  Where would the world be without varying opinions though eh?


I was never smacked as a child and don't brleive in it ....my parents fostered for years and the number of physically abused children that came to us was unbelievable.

One child had had his arm broken in two places because he was hungry and crying while his mother and boyfriend were drinking and watching a film.

I can understand giving a child a smack on the bum if they were doing something that might hurt them but repeated slapping is not on.

Same with dogs shoving it away is one thing .....I've done that when Alfie has jumped up on my lap and stood on the crown jewels but id never smack him for it....though i do threaten him with the rescue centre now and then


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## jamat (Jun 3, 2015)

ROBERT HARKNESS said:


> Ok so you wolloped your dog 5 or 6 times and you came on here feeling bad about doing it you cant turn back the clock on what has happened you can only move forward and yes ofcourse it was wrong but if it happens again. Then you have a problem with your anger which will only get worse. No one is perfect so i thought until i was reading through this it did make have a chuckle i never new there was so many perfect people out there but i suppose you learn somthing new everyday. But keep your chin up


Why arent you perfect too....its a great club to be in....and if you can get into the...I'm always right club to.....you can be seen as a god.....


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## ROBERT HARKNESS (Jul 27, 2016)

jamat said:


> Why arent you perfect too....its a great club to be in....and if you can get into the...I'm always right club to.....you can be seen as a god.....


Yes to me im perfect but maybe not everyones taste im afraid


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

ROBERT HARKNESS said:


> Ok so you wolloped your dog 5 or 6 times and you came on here feeling bad about doing it you cant turn back the clock on what has happened you can only move forward and yes ofcourse it was wrong but if it happens again. Then you have a problem with your anger which will only get worse. No one is perfect so i thought until i was reading through this it did make have a chuckle* i never new there was so many perfect people out there but i suppose you learn somthing new everyday.* But keep your chin up


I surprised as well, just wish I could be as perfect and never do anything wrong.


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## Doggiedelight (Jan 27, 2015)

ROBERT HARKNESS said:


> Yes to me im perfect but maybe not everyones taste im afraid


You aren't perfect. No one is. Sorry to burst your perfect bubble.


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## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

ROBERT HARKNESS said:


> Ok so you wolloped your dog 5 or 6 times and you came on here feeling bad about doing it you cant turn back the clock on what has happened you can only move forward and yes ofcourse it was wrong but if it happens again. Then you have a problem with your anger which will only get worse. No one is perfect so i thought until i was reading through this it did make have a chuckle i never new there was so many perfect people out there but i suppose you learn somthing new everyday. But keep your chin up





Happy Paws said:


> I surprised as well, just wish I could be as perfect and never do anything wrong.


I don't think I'm perfect, I just don't hit things.


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Happy Paws said:


> I surprised as well, just wish I could be as perfect and never do anything wrong.


_MrsZee has often asked me the following frustrating question; 'Can't you ever do anything right?'_

_I've never answered her because I'm worried it might be the wrong answer.:Nailbiting_


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

ROBERT HARKNESS said:


> Ok so you wolloped your dog 5 or 6 times and you came on here feeling bad about doing it you cant turn back the clock on what has happened you can only move forward and yes ofcourse it was wrong but if it happens again. Then you have a problem with your anger which will only get worse. No one is perfect so i thought until i was reading through this it did make have a chuckle i never new there was so many perfect people out there but i suppose you learn somthing new everyday. But keep your chin up


Oh did you read someone saying they were perfect or even thought they were perfect? I must have missed that post. Perhaps some of us just have different ways of dealing with pain, mine isn't to lash out particularly at an animal that probably has no idea it has even done anything wrong. I very much doubt the OP's dog understands that it stood on her eye so I also doubt he understood why he got walloped for it.


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

Gemmaa said:


> I don't think I'm perfect,


But the way you talk and the way some others talk, you would think you were.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Happy Paws said:


> But the way you talk and the way some others talk, you would think you were.


Can you please show us where you think @Gemmaa or anyone else on this thread has said they are perfect. Please could you also explain why you think saying you wouldn't wallop your dog 4 or 5 times for inflicting an accidental injury means you think you are perfect?


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## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

Happy Paws said:


> But the way you talk and the way some others talk, you would think you were.


A friend recently had his face grabbed hard, by his girlfriend because she felt he was ignoring her while he stroked his cat.
I think we can all agree that was very wrong of her?

I'm struggling to understand why people think it's okay to do worse than that to an animal.

I'm sorry that I take issue with aggressive behaviour.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Gemmaa said:


> A friend recently had his face grabbed hard, by his girlfriend because she felt he was ignoring her while he stroked his cat.
> I think we can all agree that was very wrong of her?
> 
> I'm struggling to understand why people think it's okay to do worse than that to an animal.
> ...


Please don't be sorry, be proud


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

Why do threads like this always descend into bitchy kind of remarks? What has being 'perfect' got to do with anything? Because some of us have responded that we don't find it acceptable that's then seen as us acting 'perfect'? I think the attitudes of some who are so dismissive of smacking is actually quite telling....


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Dogloverlou said:


> Why do threads like this always descend into bitchy kind of remarks? What has being 'perfect' got to do with anything? Because some of us have responded that we don't find it acceptable that's then seen as us acting 'perfect'? I think the attitudes of some who are so dismissive of smacking is actually quite telling....


So do I


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

Dogloverlou said:


> Why do threads like this always descend into bitchy kind of remarks? What has being 'perfect' got to do with anything? Because some of us have responded that we don't find it acceptable that's then seen as us acting 'perfect'? I think the attitudes of some who are so dismissive of smacking is actually quite telling....


I think some people are feeling a bit guilty and defensive


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## catz4m8z (Aug 27, 2008)

I must of missed the bit where someone said it was ok to hit dogs (TBH I havent read the whole thread!). I thought the OP got a nasty painful injury from their dog, which frankly gives me the heebie jeebies coz...eyes *shudder*, and then overreacted and felt horribly guilty afterwards. I dont think it means they are now going to beat their dog on a regular basis, if anything it will probably make them more aware of how to react better in the future.
Also I havent read anyone else saying they enjoy a good dog beating, just that its something that has happened to many of us (along with the massive guilt trip afterwards).
Personally I worry more about those people who seem to just smack their dogs routinely. Recently I saw a lovely little Staffie who escaped from a garden and the owner took forever to get her back, probably due to the fact she just shouted at her and smacked her when she finally came.

slightly OT but anybody have one of those dogs who enjoys a good wallop?? Alfie loves a few good wallops, it makes him go all silly and playful! Likewise I used to have a cat that enjoyed being smacked. (*mutters* weirdo kinky masochist pets confusing the issue.....:Wacky:Shifty).


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## Acidic Angel (May 8, 2012)

lullabydream said:


> Am with Ouesi, I don't believe in smacking.
> 
> I don't understand your justification for your parents smacking either..
> 
> ...


I personally have encountered quite a few people who have said "If they hurt themselves it's their fault and they'll learn from it." being honest. In fact, a lot of parents I have spoken too(not on here!) would rather follow that rule than give their child a quick smack on the bum to save further injury.
I'd much rather give my child a quick smack(smack is a harsh word, it's more of a sharp tap) on the bum to tell them they've been naughty than leave them to break a leg or crack their head open falling off something...

As mentioned below, I'm not advocating beating children black & blue and I never was. Neither were my brothers or my sister. My mums step sisters on the other hand never had a finger put on them because they were "too perfect" and it was wrong, yet my mum regularly got a beating by her step dad because she wasn't "perfect". My mums step-sisters grew up thinking they were entitled to everything and if anyone dared say a wrong word to them they cried "Daddy!" and he came running. They still think like that now and they are 40 and 44 years old. My mum grew up "knowing her place" and learnt to stand up for herself, she has such thick skin(metaphorically speaking) that she brushes off anything people say to her. Of course I'm not saying all kids who are treated like angels will be like my mums step sisters, I'm just saying this is how that situation turned out and I have known it to end like this other times as well.



jamat said:


> I was never smacked as a child and don't brleive in it ....my parents fostered for years and the number of physically abused children that came to us was unbelievable.
> 
> One child had had his arm broken in two places because he was hungry and crying while his mother and boyfriend were drinking and watching a film.
> 
> ...


This is what I mean though, I'm not saying everyone should be beating their children black & blue. You have literally just given understanding to the situation I personally was talking about.


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## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

Dogloverlou said:


> Why do threads like this always descend into bitchy kind of remarks? What has being 'perfect' got to do with anything? Because some of us have responded that we don't find it acceptable that's then seen as us acting 'perfect'? I think the attitudes of some who are so dismissive of smacking is actually quite telling....


This is going around and around in circles....

No one said smacking a dog was acceptable?

My hat goes off to anyone that has never lost their temper at any point in their life or behaved out of character and done something they regret. I suspect in the real world such people are very rare, however forums tend to make people into keyboard warriors while polishing their pretend halo's. Or, perhaps they are truly lucky enough to have never experienced a situation that has pushed them over the edge, which indeed would make it very difficult to emphasise with someone that has. That doesn't make it RIGHT, but it does happen, it's real life, and I'm sure the OP or anyone else does not make a habit of smacking their dog.

I don't see any posts congratulating the OP on the way she behaved. But the numerous posts stating their dog did ________ (insert dreadful injury) and they didn't do that (insert consequence of dreadful injury) are just irrelevant as _no two circumstances are the same._


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

labradrk said:


> This is going around and around in circles....
> 
> No one said smacking a dog was acceptable?
> 
> ...


There is a few passive aggressive posts in response to those of us who have disagreed though.

I also stated on the first page, one out of character smack in the heat of the moment I can understand, but it was the continued 'hard' hits that I found excessive.


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## Acidic Angel (May 8, 2012)

Dogloverlou said:


> There is a few passive aggressive posts in response to those of us who have disagreed though.
> 
> I also stated on the first page, one out of character smack in the heat of the moment I can understand, but it was the continued 'hard' hits that I found excessive.


I think this, again, boils down to the situation at hand. From what I gather, the dog was repeatedly jumping up meaning the OP was repeatedly smacking the dog down because the dog wasn't listening to verbal commands. That in itself is a training issue that needs working on I'll admit. The strength of the hits though can be pretty individual. As you have said they were 'hard' hits, but what is hard for this person? As I said in my first reply, my "wallop"(how the OP described them) would send the subject flying heavily backwards accompanied by a cry of pain because it would hurt. I've never, ever walloped someone but I know how it would turn out if I did because I recognise my own strength. So I know it would hurt a lot.

I have broken someone's nose before, but that was completely unintentional- I was asleep and I punched them. I woke up to them shouting a string of expletives at me. I also used to harm myself in my sleep by scratching my arms, stomach, legs and sides. That has stopped thankfully.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

labradrk said:


> This is going around and around in circles....
> 
> No one said smacking a dog was acceptable?
> 
> ...


Again who is polishing a "pretend halo"? Why does not agreeing with 4-5 wallops in response to an accidental injury suddenly make us keyboard warriors with pretend halo's anymore than the OP and the people who have emphasised with her are dog beaters who enjoy bashing animals with pretend baseball bats? Of course no two circumstances are the same but that applies to virtually everything in life, every dog on dog attack, every dog bite to humans, every accidental injury - no two set of circumstances are the same but we all still comment or have an opinion on them.


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## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

Dogloverlou said:


> There is a few passive aggressive posts in response to those of us who have disagreed though.
> 
> I also stated on the first page, one out of character smack in the heat of the moment I can understand, but it was the continued 'hard' hits that I found excessive.


But you were not there to witness it? neither the event nor how 'hard' they hit the dog? all we know is the account the OP has given, all the posts going off on a tangent about condoning beatings, child abuse and other unrelated nonsense detract from the thread.

Again no one said it was right, clearly the OP knows that which is why they made this thread. But no one can predict how they will react under every physical or mental circumstance and I think that is what some of us emphasise with, rather than than the typical forum guns blazing outraged "but I would NEVER do such a thing, my dog broke my leg and I chuckled and put the kettle on". If everyone had the same response to everything then we would be robots not human.....it's not a justification of poor behaviour, but what is telling to me is people who recognise they made a mistake.


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## catz4m8z (Aug 27, 2008)

Acidic Angel said:


> my "wallop"(how the OP described them) would send the subject flying heavily backwards accompanied by a cry of pain because it would hurt. I've never, ever walloped someone but I know how it would turn out if I did because I recognise my own strength. So I know it would hurt a lot.


See now my wallops are more likely to break my hand then do any real damage, Im pathetically weedy!
Although it wouldnt be hard to damage one of my dogs by walloping them....Chihuahuas are surprisingly aerodynamic!unch:Wideyed:Woot

(I jest!)


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## Ownedbymany (Nov 16, 2014)

I've thought really carefully about whether to post this or not. 

For the record I have never hit an animal nor do I think it's acceptable to do so. 

We are in a really good position of being able to control our behaviour through our thoughts, social expectations, moral and ethical values, beliefs, willpower etc etc we are not robots. 

Personally I have been injured many many times on various parts of my body. Some broken bones, some deep cuts, some requiring hospital treatment and some not. Lots that have caused a huge amount of pain. The majority probably caused by other people or animals. 

Never have I physically reacted to the cause of the pain whether that be a living being or inanimate object. Not even when an afghan hound jumped up and bit my face when I was a kid. 

I've only ever had one eye injury and that was my fault as I accidently splashed a chemical into it. I was quite hysterical, although I did manage to keep flushing it out during my hysterics until I got to hospital. 

The whole drama between me splashing the chemical and me getting to hospital took about 20 minutes but I assure you I thought it had been hours. Just maybe the OP didn't hit her dog 4-5 hard wallops? Maybe in reality it was just once combined with pushing the dog away (not that that excuses it but I'm sure the OP wasn't counting or noting the pressure used!)

I don't know about everyone else but I am a little squeamish about my eyes, I never thought I would react the way I did when I got chemical in one of them and that didn't even hurt really it was just a low tolerable burning sensation. 

So despite never having lashed out before I can't say I would react the same way if I suddenly got a pain in my eye out of the blue. Especially if the cause of the pain kept coming back over and over. I don't think I would rationally think "oh it was the dog. I will just get myself inside the house in a calm manner and assess the damage" I'm more likely going to react in some other manner because I didn't know what had happened. 

Yes this incident was avoidable and I reckon the OP has learned their lesson and will avoid lying or sitting near the dog when s/he is playing to avoid this happening again. This could be anyone who keeps animals as part of our families. 

I have parrots, parrot beaks are pretty lethal so they don't get to come anywhere near my eyes. I've had some pretty painful bites in other places so don't take chances. One of them changed briefly last year and launched full on flighted attacks on my face and kept coming back for more when I got out his way. I've had him 6 years so it was completely unexpected. We managed the attacks by my behaviour towards him and trying to figure out what had changed with him. That first unexpected attack he could quite easily have bitten my eye and I'm sure my reaction would have been different, I would possibly have swatted him away with my hand and done so again if he came back for more. I don't know for sure of course. 

Of course it's still not right to hit an animal but despite our better qualities I think there is still an instinct of self preservation in us and none of us are infallible.


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

Acidic Angel said:


> I personally have encountered quite a few people who have said "If they hurt themselves it's their fault and they'll learn from it." being honest. In fact, a lot of parents I have spoken too(not on here!) would rather follow that rule than give their child a quick smack on the bum to save further injury.
> I'd much rather give my child a quick smack(smack is a harsh word, it's more of a sharp tap) on the bum to tell them they've been naughty than leave them to break a leg or crack their head open falling off something...
> 
> As mentioned below, I'm not advocating beating children black & blue and I never was. Neither were my brothers or my sister. My mums step sisters on the other hand never had a finger put on them because they were "too perfect" and it was wrong, yet my mum regularly got a beating by her step dad because she wasn't "perfect". My mums step-sisters grew up thinking they were entitled to everything and if anyone dared say a wrong word to them they cried "Daddy!" and he came running. They still think like that now and they are 40 and 44 years old. My mum grew up "knowing her place" and learnt to stand up for herself, she has such thick skin(metaphorically speaking) that she brushes off anything people say to her. Of course I'm not saying all kids who are treated like angels will be like my mums step sisters, I'm just saying this is how that situation turned out and I have known it to end like this other times as well.
> ...


Is there not another option other than letting children hurt themselves or smacking them, with regards to teaching that something is dangerous?


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## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

The original poster said:
"_I then smacked him around 4 to 5 times. They were not light smacks, they were what I'd describe as a wallop"_

"_He seems very weiry of me now even though I've apologised to him, gave him extra treats. Like last night I told him to go to his bed as it was bedtime and he scurried off with his tail between his legs. Normally he comes up to me and I say goodnight to him and give him a treat"
_
Some of the first few replies said that their reaction to the dog was normal....even though the dog is now scared of the owner.
I personally don't think that's a normal reaction, and if that makes me a halo polishing, keyboard warrior, so be it!


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Acidic Angel said:


> I personally have encountered quite a few people who have said "If they hurt themselves it's their fault and they'll learn from it." being honest. In fact, a lot of parents I have spoken too(not on here!) would rather follow that rule than give their child a quick smack on the bum to save further injury.
> I'd much rather give my child a quick smack(smack is a harsh word, it's more of a sharp tap) on the bum to tell them they've been naughty than leave them to break a leg or crack their head open falling off something...
> 
> As mentioned below, I'm not advocating beating children black & blue and I never was. Neither were my brothers or my sister. My mums step sisters on the other hand never had a finger put on them because they were "too perfect" and it was wrong, yet my mum regularly got a beating by her step dad because she wasn't "perfect". My mums step-sisters grew up thinking they were entitled to everything and if anyone dared say a wrong word to them they cried "Daddy!" and he came running. They still think like that now and they are 40 and 44 years old. My mum grew up "knowing her place" and learnt to stand up for herself, she has such thick skin(metaphorically speaking) that she brushes off anything people say to her. Of course I'm not saying all kids who are treated like angels will be like my mums step sisters, I'm just saying this is how that situation turned out and I have known it to end like this other times as well.
> ...


I maybe should have quoted your original post, but didn't your mum remove you from danger..ie the sofa, and technically the smack was for not listening.

Surprisingly the circles I work with, parents may have what many would describe as difficult children. When we discuss with parents a common theme is, smacking does not work.

Yes many of these children's have wonderful labels, but the end of the day all children are not angels, all parents have to manage behaviour, regardless of a child's label. Since a child will grow, and they have to fit in to society and many do successfully. They have to learn wrong from right, and although you think smacking is a far better way to stop an accident happening, am sure most parents would dive in first and prevent an accident, a smack would be the last thing from their mind.

I thought a parent should be a role model, a tap, smack how ever you call it is so easily practised by the young mind. Whether it hurts or not, and many people do not know their strength, especially children. Its not even a new thing children can copy influential people in their lives, psychologists live and breathe it dating why back to the 1960s.


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## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

Gemmaa said:


> The original poster said:
> "_I then smacked him around 4 to 5 times. They were not light smacks, they were what I'd describe as a wallop"_
> 
> "_He seems very weiry of me now even though I've apologised to him, gave him extra treats. Like last night I told him to go to his bed as it was bedtime and he scurried off with his tail between his legs. Normally he comes up to me and I say goodnight to him and give him a treat"
> ...


What is a 'normal' reaction?

A 'normal' reaction for you in a moment of extreme stress/pain/whatever is not a 'normal' reaction for someone else. In fact you could argue depending on the circumstance that there is no 'normal' at all if you react on instinct. A 'normal' reaction implies that someone reacts that way as a matter of course? when the OP stated that they have never hit a dog before. So does that make it a normal reaction or an abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation?


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## ROBERT HARKNESS (Jul 27, 2016)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> Oh did you read someone saying they were perfect or even thought they were perfect? I must have missed that post. Perhaps some of us just have different ways of dealing with pain, mine isn't to lash out particularly at an animal that probably has no idea it has even done anything wrong. I very much doubt the OP's dog understands that it stood on her eye so I also doubt he understood why he got walloped for it.


DId i say anywhere in my post that i thought it was right for the op to have done what they did NO. i dont agree with hitting animals but it happened and does happen. Can yous not come on here and give your criticism and end it with soming good which would help the op to build there trust again with there dog there are alot of yous on here with a wellth of knowledge which would be very helpfull instead of making the situation worse


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

I quoted this post of yours asking where anyone had said they were or thought they were perfect.



ROBERT HARKNESS said:


> Ok so you wolloped your dog 5 or 6 times and you came on here feeling bad about doing it you cant turn back the clock on what has happened you can only move forward and yes ofcourse it was wrong but if it happens again. Then you have a problem with your anger which will only get worse.* No one is perfect so i thought until i was reading through this it did make have a chuckle i never new there was so many perfect people out there* but i suppose you learn somthing new everyday. But keep your chin up


I did not say that you thought what the OP did was right I simply asked you where anyone had said they were perfect.



ROBERT HARKNESS said:


> DId i say anywhere in my post that i thought it was right for the op to have done what they did NO. i dont agree with hitting animals but it happened and does happen. Can yous not come on here and give your criticism and end it with soming good which would help the op to build there trust again with there dog there are alot of yous on here with a wellth of knowledge which would be very helpfull instead of making the situation worse


Plenty of us on here do share our knowledge and experience freely but that doesn't mean we are not allowed to disagree. Feel free to give your advice on how the OP should rebuild the relationship with her dog.


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## ROBERT HARKNESS (Jul 27, 2016)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> I quoted this post of yours asking where anyone had said they were or thought they were perfect.
> 
> I did not say that you thought what the OP did was right I simply asked you where anyone had said they were perfect.
> 
> Plenty of us on here do share our knowledge and experience freely but that doesn't mean we are not allowed to disagree. Feel free to give your advice on how the OP should rebuild the relationship with her dog.


I would if i knew but i dont. I not trying to be nasty in anything i say. I also joined the forum to gain help. Which i have got


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## applecrumlin (Mar 8, 2015)

The OP twice states that the incident happened today. 
They say they need help, but don't specify what help they want.
They say the dog scurried off with his tail between his legs last night.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

applecrumlin said:


> The OP twice states that the incident happened today.
> They say they need help, but don't specify what help they want.
> They say the dog scurried off with his tail between his legs last night.


No the thread was posted yesterday morning.

ETA Sorry I see what you mean now, whenever it was posted it flips between the incident being on that day or the day before.


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

applecrumlin said:


> The OP twice states that the incident happened today.
> They say they need help, but don't specify what help they want.
> They say the dog scurried off with his tail between his legs last night.


quite right.... how interesting. Maybe they just meant to type yesterday?


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> No the thread was posted yesterday morning.


True. And where's the OP now?

In all probability, quietly reading from the shadows and sniggering at everyone else doing the mucking out:Watching


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2016)

KatieandOliver said:


> Is there not another option other than letting children hurt themselves or smacking them, with regards to teaching that something is dangerous?


Yes  Management, just like you do with puppies. You don't hit the puppy for chewing the wires, you keep the puppy away from the wires until he is able to comprehend and comply with "leave it". 
That's the short answer at least  It's probably not a good idea for this thread to veer off too much further on a parenting tangent...

I was reading an excellent FB post this morning, it was a share of a share and I can't find it again, sadly. Basically it was a compulsion trainer thanking positive trainers. Though this trainer still uses compulsion, he was expressing his gratitude to positive trainers who choose not to use compulsion, because by making that choice, they basically force themselves to figure out how to make it work. That knowledge that they gain is then passed on to people like him who in turn is able to use less and less compulsion. I'm not explaining it very well, but it was a wonderful post from someone who is open to learning from others and always improving.

Like Suzanne Clothier's wonderful quote: "We become better trainers by refusing to swallow uncritically what is tossed to us as truth, by developing our powers of empathy and observation, and by searching for better ways to teach and educate the dogs we love."

It is because I am far from perfect that I am open to learning from others and trying to constantly better and improve my interactions with my dogs and our relationship as a whole. As a child I remember watching those who lashed out in anger and those who didn't and made a very conscious decision that I would emulate the latter. And I'm not just talking about watching humans and how they react, but animals too. Dams who show the most amazing restraint and patience with their pups, mares dealing with obnoxious foals... Animals actually set a very good example too. 
Granted, I suppose it also depends on what example you choose to notice and emulate...

The way I see it, with the amazing patience and forgiveness our dogs show us, the very least I can do is work on myself enough that I can return that patience and understanding to them.


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2016)

Zaros said:


> True. And where's the OP now?
> 
> In all probability, quietly reading from the shadows and sniggering at everyone else doing the mucking out:Watching


I've had my suspicions from the get go.
If I had to guess, I'd say that the OP is not a newbie at all but a dual account from someone who's agenda about dogs needing a good telling off is well suited to this conversation.

And I can say that because that poster has me on ignore 

If I'm wrong, it's still interesting to me what certain posters choose to defend. As someone else said, pretty telling and sadly, not surprising....


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

ouesi said:


> Yes  Management, just like you do with puppies. You don't hit the puppy for chewing the wires, you keep the puppy away from the wires until he is able to comprehend and comply with "leave it".
> That's the short answer at least  It's probably not a good idea for this thread to veer off too much further on a parenting tangent...
> 
> I was reading an excellent FB post this morning, it was a share of a share and I can't find it again, sadly. Basically it was a compulsion trainer thanking positive trainers. Though this trainer still uses compulsion, he was expressing his gratitude to positive trainers who choose not to use compulsion, because by making that choice, they basically force themselves to figure out how to make it work. That knowledge that they gain is then passed on to people like him who in turn is able to use less and less compulsion. I'm not explaining it very well, but it was a wonderful post from someone who is open to learning from others and always improving.
> ...


Reminds me of my dog Max, who was an extrememly obnoxious (and large, being an only child) puppy. He would swing from her ears, leap on top of her and be an all round pain in the arse. Sadly, he was an only because his mother killed his two sisters; he was certainly the biggest. In hindsight, I think she was actually too young to have a litter


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

ouesi said:


> I've had my suspicions from the get go.
> If I had to guess, I'd say that the OP is not a newbie at all but a dual account from someone who's agenda about dogs needing a good telling off is well suited to this conversation.
> 
> *And I can say that because that poster has me on ignore*
> ...


I'll quote your post. Then the suspect will have no other option but to read it:Smug

:Singing


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

ouesi said:


> I've had my suspicions from the get go.
> If I had to guess, I'd say that the OP is not a newbie at all but a dual account from someone who's agenda about dogs needing a good telling off is well suited to this conversation.
> 
> And I can say that because that poster has me on ignore
> ...


 Who has you on ignore???! pray tell....ompus

do people really go to the extent of creating extra accounts for this sort of thing?


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## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

KatieandOliver said:


> do people really go to the extent of creating extra accounts for this sort of thing?


Yes. What's more... if you take the OPs initial post in this thread and start at the end taking every other letter working backwards it reads "Here's to my sweet Satan".


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

KatieandOliver said:


> Who has you on ignore???! pray tell....ompus
> 
> do people really go to the extent of creating extra accounts for this sort of thing?


Oh yes. Had a few over the years. Some of them have been so transparent, I've been embarrassed for them.


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2016)

KatieandOliver said:


> Who has you on ignore???! pray tell....ompus
> 
> do people really go to the extent of creating extra accounts for this sort of thing?


Oh I imagine I'm on many ignore lists 

And yes, people create dual accounts, and also banned members create alternate accounts. Always fun times on forums....


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

KatieandOliver said:


> do people really go to the extent of creating extra accounts?


You wouldn't believe the half of it.

I have an extra account because I was sick to the back teeth of discovering I had used up all my 5 attempts to sign in when I had never been attempting to sign in, in the first place.
PFs are aware of this and can remove the account if they so wish. It has never been used to hound, harass or terrorise anyone.

I use this account for those purposes:Smug


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## Aahlly (Sep 12, 2014)

I feel like the thread has veered away from the point which was the OP asking how she could repair the relationship she damaged when she smacked her dog out of shock. It was never asked if hitting the dog was the right thing to do, of course it's not right and the OP knows that. If he/she thought it was alright they would never have made a thread about it. 

As has been said before everyone is a unique individual and everyone reacts to circumstances in different ways. I had a very nasty fall from a pony several years ago, landed with my foot twisted all the way round (confirmed by witnesses who only stood with mouths hanging open), I then proceeded to get back on the pony, finish the schooling session and then walk around on the broken knee for a further two days before I decided I had better get that odd crunching sound looked at. But I know there are other people (like my darling OH ) who are pretty much in tears over a paper cut. This is not really a situation that can be compared with personal experience because it's so subjective. I mean, the OP's injury was bad enough to warrant medical attention and I imagine a claw to the eye and then a large dog leaping up was all quite overwhelming. 

There was a thread here not all that long ago about a woman walking her dog in the blistering heat in the middle of London. The dog collapsed and died and the woman simply unclipped the leash and went to walk away from the poor thing, was stopped by passersby who were shocked and outraged and called the police. There were a lot of people on here defending the woman who walked away from the body of her deceased dog and I'm afraid that's not something I could comprehend at the time, it seemed plain wicked. But then a lot of members explained their own feelings and how different people react to shocking circumstances in different ways and many members said that they indeed felt they would have to walk away too, and I kinda ended up getting it. I feel like this situation holds some parallels in that it's an example of how we deal with situations is always varied and it should be appreciated that everyone is different. 

Yes it's absolutely not ideal that the OP lashed out, not at all. But what's done is done, and circling around with the bitchy comments isn't really adding anything to the discussion at this point. No-one at any time came here condoning hitting their dog. OP knows they made a mistake.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

KatieandOliver said:


> Who has you on ignore???! pray tell....ompus
> 
> *do people really go to the extent of creating extra accounts for this sort of thing?*


There have been some who have created whole fake lives on here

They inevitably get rumbled sooner or later


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

simplysardonic said:


> There have been some who have created whole fake lives on here
> 
> They inevitably get rumbled sooner or later


But why??? What is wrong with their own life?


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## cbcdesign (Jul 3, 2014)

People react in different ways I guess. Many years ago now, around 15 years ago in fact when I first got Kerry (Avatar and no longer with us) she pawed my face when I was lying down and her claw caught my eye and scratched the Cornea. As you can imagine it hurt like hell, requiring a hospital visit and treatment which lasted several days but I didn't tell her off or swear at her. I was in too much pain to care immediately after she did this to be honest but bless her, she knew she had hurt me and she never put her paw anywhere near my face again. She looked so guilty when I came home from the Bristol Eye Hospital with this big pad over my left eye!


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

KatieandOliver said:


> But why??? What is wrong with their own life?


I don't know, I guess some are dissatisfied with how their life is going so create a fantasy world as a form of 'escape', others enjoy the attention, others still just like trying to play pathetic mind games with people.

All very odd really.


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> Can you please show us where you think @Gemmaa or anyone else on this thread has said they are perfect. Please could you also explain why you think saying you wouldn't wallop your dog 4 or 5 times for inflicting an accidental injury means you think you are perfect?


I never said I was proud of hitting my dog it was something that just happened in the heat of the moment.
AND I NEVER SAID I PERFECT because I know I'm not. But the attitude and tone of some memebers on here makes you feel that they are think they are better than others. WELL they are not.



labradrk said:


> This is going around and around in circles....
> 
> No one said smacking a dog was acceptable?
> 
> My hat goes off to anyone that has never lost their temper at any point in their life or behaved out of character and done something they regret. I suspect in the real world such people are very rare, however forums tend to make people into keyboard warriors while polishing their pretend halo's. Or, perhaps they are truly lucky enough to have never experienced a situation that has pushed them over the edge, which indeed would make it very difficult to emphasise with someone that has. That doesn't make it RIGHT, but it does happen, it's real life, and I'm sure the OP or anyone else does not make a habit of smacking their dog.


I agree we shouldn't hit our pets and normally I wouldn't and never have since, but at the time I saw no other way out of the situation I was in. As for Dillon after he just carried on trotting along the road as if nothing had happened but he did keep all 4 paws on the ground.


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## TammieT (Aug 25, 2016)

I haven't returned because what's the point? Literally every post here apart from a handful are basically just telling me that I was wrong to hit my dog and are rather bitchy, I haven't been rude to anyone here so I don't see why I deserve that or why I should even bother explaining myself to you.

I think I've established by now that it was wrong to hit my dog and no one apart from a handful like I've said has given me any advice. I don't know how many more times I have to say that it was a one off, never happened before, I don't make a habit of it etc etc. This thread is not getting me anywhere or adding anything positive to my life.

I came here for some support because I have read this forum for near on 2 years since owning my dog and I thought this was a place where people don't sugar coat what they're saying but are atleast fair with their responses. Like I said a handful of people have been very helpful and I appreciate it. Others seem to just want to have some sort of Internet argument or enjoy being rude to people online to brighten up their crappy lives. I have not once been rude to anyone on here.

I wish I had the time to spend my whole days on a forum arguing with people.

Will be logging out now and 100% not returning.

Thanks


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

TammieT said:


> I haven't returned because what's the point? Literally every post here apart from a handful are basically just telling me that I was wrong to hit my dog and are rather bitchy, I haven't been rude to anyone here so I don't see why I deserve that or why I should even bother explaining myself to you.
> 
> I think I've established by now that it was wrong to hit my dog and no one apart from a handful like I've said has given me any advice. I don't know how many more times I have to say that it was a one off, never happened before, I don't make a habit of it etc etc. This thread is not getting me anywhere or adding anything positive to my life.
> 
> ...


Please stay you really are welcome on here, and we would hate you to leave just because we are having a fight which we do, do from time to time. 

I really wouldn't take it to heart, we often get the bit between our teeth over one thing or another it's gets heated, but that life on forums. We all get over it and life carries on.


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## ROBERT HARKNESS (Jul 27, 2016)

TammieT said:


> I haven't returned because what's the point? Literally every post here apart from a handful are basically just telling me that I was wrong to hit my dog and are rather bitchy, I haven't been rude to anyone here so I don't see why I deserve that or why I should even bother explaining myself to you.
> 
> I think I've established by now that it was wrong to hit my dog and no one apart from a handful like I've said has given me any advice. I don't know how many more times I have to say that it was a one off, never happened before, I don't make a habit of it etc etc. This thread is not getting me anywhere or adding anything positive to my life.
> 
> ...


I too had some of the same a while ago on a thread and got annoyed and was going to leave but decided to stay yes some of the posts are harsh But ive only been on a while and have realized most of them have been around dogs there whole lives and have seen the good the bad and the really bad things that happen to dogs and harsh or not there posts all are helpfull in there own way but its intierly up too youself. If it not your thread it'll be someone elses. Just learn when you post a thread put a few extra layers of skin on and dont take it to heart


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## TammieT (Aug 25, 2016)

ROBERT HARKNESS said:


> I too had some of the same a while ago on a thread and got annoyed and was going to leave but decided to stay yes some of the posts are harsh But ive only been on a while and have realized most of them have been around dogs there whole lives and have seen the good the bad and the really bad things that happen to dogs and harsh or not there posts all are helpfull in there own way but its intierly up too youself. If it not your thread it'll be someone elses. Just learn when you post a thread put a few extra layers of skin on and dont take it to heart


I don't think one should have to put on a few extra layers of skin to post something on a petforum and just saying to someone "don't take it to heart" doesn't mean anything because people inevitably will, who's to say what someone should and shouldn't find upsetting or what they take to heart?

I get it that most of you are animals lovers (I am too) and I can understand people being upset at the thought of a dog being hit BUT I've been kind of shocked by the immaturity on here that has come from people who are probably double my age.


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

TammieT said:


> I don't think one should have to put on a few extra layers of skin to post something on a petforum and just saying to someone "don't take it to heart" doesn't mean anything because people inevitably will, who's to say what someone should and shouldn't find upsetting or what they take to heart?
> 
> I get it that most of you are animals lovers (I am too) and I can understand people being upset at the thought of a dog being hit BUT I've been kind of shocked by the immaturity on here that has come from people who are probably double my age.


Don't take it to heart. Instead, let's concentrate on the most important thing - how is your relationship with your dog now and how is your eye? I hope both are improving.


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## komondor_owner (Jan 19, 2016)

deleted


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

komondor_owner said:


> I'd encourage you to look through the thread. There's probably only 3 or 4 users you need to click ignore on. Hopefully your eye is on the mend and relationship with your dog is on the mend
> *IMHO a lot of people who claim they are animal lovers don't have the feintest idea about animals.*


Isn't that a bit of a sweeping generalisation?

I'm quite happy for people like you to carry on believe I haven't the 'feintest rolleyes idea about animals' because I don't think it's 'normal' to repeatedly smack a defenceless animal around.


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2016)

simplysardonic said:


> Isn't that a bit of a sweeping generalisation?
> 
> I'm quite happy for people like you to carry on believe I haven't the 'feintest rolleyes idea about animals' because I don't think it's 'normal' to repeatedly smack a defenceless animal around.


Yup... sometimes it's who disagrees with you that helps you realize you're doing the right thing


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

I am really confused by this thread.... those who say hitting a dog is wrong and they would not hit their dog are bad, mean people who don't love animals? Do I have that right?


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

komondor_owner said:


> I'd encourage you to look through the thread. There's probably only 3 or 4 users you need to click ignore on. Hopefully your eye is on the mend and relationship with your dog is on the mend
> *IMHO a lot of people who claim they are animal lovers don't have the feintest idea about animals*.


:Hilarious:Hilarious whereas you are of course an expert. I look forward to reading more posts from you in the training and behaviour section and the health and nutrition section too. Can't say as I've seen you contribute much advice so far.


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

KatieandOliver said:


> I am really confused by this thread.... those who say hitting a dog is wrong and they would not hit their dog are bad, mean people who don't love animals? Do I have that right?


Or don't have a clue about animals, however that is supposed to relate to the thread.....


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## diefenbaker (Jan 15, 2011)

KatieandOliver said:


> I am really confused by this thread.... those who say hitting a dog is wrong and they would not hit their dog are bad, mean people who don't love animals? Do I have that right?


I wouldn't bother trying to make any sense of it. Put it down to a blip in the Matrix.


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## Jezavix (Jun 25, 2013)

I don't think it's ever ok to hit a dog, or any other animal, but I can't guarantee I never would if pushed far enough.
However evolved and self controlled we like to think we are, humans are still animals and during times of extreme pain and fear rational thought can go out the window and we turn to base instincts. We can work on our self control to help minimise the risk of things like this happening, but we can't guarantee we will never loose control.

Some of you may have been bitten or attacked and not reacted by lashing out, and it's great you could control yourself, but just as with dogs and other animals humans will have different thresholds and different reactions to different situations. Unless we've been pushed past our threshold we don't know how we're going to react. In the best case we'll never need to find out, but if something like this happens it should serve as a warning. Use this experience to learn and grow.
The fact you lashed out more than once should be taken seriously, it shows a lack of self control which is something you need to work on and the fact your dog kept repeatedly jumping up and not listening shows you should also put in some extra training for your dog.

Now that you know you can react violently in such situations, use that knowledge to work on yourself.

I'm sure as long as you take this experience on board and do your best to prevent it from happening again your relationship with your dog will be just fine.
I'd suggest lots of love, snuggles, play time and some positive reward based training to help build up trust and confidence.


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

komondor_owner said:


> I'd encourage you to look through the thread. There's probably only 3 or 4 users you need to click ignore on. Hopefully your eye is on the mend and relationship with your dog is on the mend
> IMHO a lot of people who claim they are animal lovers don't have the feintest idea about animals.


I agree, at the moment I've put few on ignore that I can't be a***d with at the moment.


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