# Desperate to get back in the saddle



## kaz25 (Aug 9, 2011)

I'm desperate to get back in the saddle - I love the feeling of cantering along a field!!! But...I've developed a fear  I haven't been riding since I was about 11 (apart from a few times when I was about 15 and helping out at polo stables) and I think I stopped because I have a fear of anything bigger than me! :thumbdown:

We were at the Royal Highland Show a couple of weeks ago and went into the stables. The horses were lovely and OH mentioned going riding as he used to ride when he was younger too and said he really enjoyed it. I'd love to, as we are struggling to find a hobby to do together, but I just don't know how to get over this fear? I'm fine when I'm on a horse - it's the standing next to it and it towering over me (I'm only 5'2 so it's not hard!) that scares me


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## RachJeremy (Sep 14, 2012)

Well, i'm 5ft and 1/2 an inch... So a bit shorter than you. I don't tend to find horses scary to stand with or handle on the ground. However i think that comes with experience. I've had to handle a 17.2hh ID X who threw his weight around, all you need to really remind yourself is to not allow the horse to take over your space. If a horse intrudes my space and i haven't asked it to, then it will get told off by a sharp noise, stomp of my foot, or if all else fails they will get a smack.
Have you had horses sort of walk over you in the past? Not literally, but sort of not respect your space? And is that possibly why you have this fear?
If so, i would recommend talking to a local riding school, or contacting a friend who has a horse maybe, and tell them in all honesty what you are scared of. Most places will be happy to help, even if it means you need to volunteer at a riding school to just get some handling in. My mum is kind of the same as you, however it's only when the horse is 'big' to her that she doesn't like it, or if it's aggressive. My mum is the same height as you and was fine with my 14hh New Forest i had when i was little, but terrified of my 12.2hh mare as she was aggressive. My mum has only met my current horse once, and he's a dope on a rope, wouldn't hurt a fly, but because he is 15.3hh, my mum is nervous of him. However, she's only just met him the once, and doesn't have much to do with horses other than with him, so she knows a way to address it would be to handle my horse more and overcome it and realize it's not just big horses that are nasty or rude or anything. 

If you lived close to me i'd let you come and play around with my boy as he's a brilliant confidence giver. But i would really recommend trying to push yourself to handle some horses on the ground. Rather than just jumping straight back in the saddle, as then you're not addressing your fear on the ground. And the trouble is, if you get nervous on the ground, you could easily make the horse nervous too when you get on it. So IMO it's essential that if you want to ride horses, you need to be comfortable on the ground with them, as the groundwork is just as important as the riding. 

Hope that helps.


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## RachJeremy (Sep 14, 2012)

Adding in. You've got to come across confident. 

Bear this in mind. Horses are herd animals and will follow a strong leader. If you are confident in yourself and not necessarily dominant... I can't think of anything to describe it. But you need to come across like an equal if not the herd leader to the horse. 

If you watch horses in a herd, you will notice there will be the one horse if not two, normally it's only the one, who is pushed out. Because it lacks the dominant and confident behavior to sort of stand up for itself within the pecking order. Therefore, that horse doesn't get social attention others might and may get aggressive behavior from other horses if it tries to eat somewhere or drink when it's not allowed. It seems cruel, but that is natural for horses in the wild, and even domesticated horses do this in a field with companions. 
You have got to try NOT to be that horse. If that makes any sense? lol


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