# Rehomed my dog and devastated



## Bambina (10 mo ago)

Hi.. I didn’t lose my sweet little Pomeranian ,Fox, through death, but I made the very difficult decision to rehome him. I had only had him for one month, and he was a foster-to- rescue situation that I got from a rescue group. But in that month he was the cutest sweetest most loving affectionate dog I had ever known. He followed me everywhere, slept near me every night, gave me kisses, and would lie on my chest. He adored me and I adored him. However, I wavered so much about whether to keep him, but only because I have many rescue cats, a mentally handicapped sister who is kidney transplant recipient that I take care of and a full time job which doesn't pay all that much, so I started getting anxious about how I could physically and financially keep up. I thought that adding another responsibility would be too overwhelming. So the rescue group found a wonderful home for him, and last Friday the adopter drove 2 hours to pick him up. Since then, I have been beating myself up for giving him away. I’ve cried every day and am missing him terribly. The new owner has been nice enough to send pics and videos, and Fox is clearly loved and spoiled and adjusting well, but I am falling apart. The regret and profound grief of giving him up is killing me although I know nothing can be done now other than to accept that I made this decision. I knew I would be sad to let him go, but I didn’t realize how intense the pain would be. Had I known then what I know now, I would never have done it. I am prone to depression, so this is sending me into the deep end. I am starting therapy again to try to come to grips with this. It’s only been 8 days I know since he was adopted, but I’m so scared as the grief is getting worse, not better. I wish with all my heart I had never given him up, but of course his new owner is in love with him, so there is no possibility of getting him back. Yesterday I actually deleted the new owners contact info because I thought that perhaps I need to make a clean break if it, as the pics and videos give me temporary relief, knowing he is well loved and cared for, but then I spiral back into depression knowing that he will never be mine again. I am desperate for any suggestions on how to pull myself out of this horrible grief and regret.


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

It is difficult, but, do keep reminding yourself why you rehomed him.

It does sound as though you have a lot on your plate and, if you also had real concerns about how you would manage financially if large Vet bills should need to be paid, your instincts were right.

His new owners will love him just as you did, so you really did what was best for Fox.


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## xelaris (11 mo ago)

You've made a conscious decision and apparently you had the time to decide...then your Fox is happy somewhere and the new owner seems cooperative and doesn't mind sharing some videos and pictures with you. 
If you truly loved your Fox you should be happy - love should be unconditional...it's not about possession - Fox is happy and prospering and let's face it - your financial position was a key point and you've done the best for Fox.
Why not asking the new owner if you could go in his/her place and spend an afternoon with Fox? Make a new friend too...

I gave away for free a young male cat years ago - my older female cat couldn't stand him and had to find a solution...like yourself, I regretted my decision and tried to having him back the day after - but I guess, it was easier to adjust because I didn't spent much time with him.

I believe the worst loss of all is when our pets die - my Baba died only a month ago and still trying to come into term and adjust to not having her around - sometimes I think I would never be happy without her. Incredibly losing her felt much worst than losing my parents - in the latter case probably the pain is shared with other members of the family; but Baba was the only pet I ever had and we were together for nearly 20 years.


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

xelaris said:


> Why not asking the new owner if you could go in his/her place and spend an afternoon with Fox? Make a new friend too...


Can I just say, this would not be a good idea at all.

For this little dog, settling into his new home, being confronted with someone from his past will not make him happy, it will likely confuse and unsettle him.

He's been rehomed, apparently to people who love and care for him, it would not be fair to them or the dog.


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## 1507601 (Jun 26, 2020)

I'm sorry you're going through this. You've done an amazing thing for Fox, keep remembering that. He's going to have a lovely life and that's in part thanks to you. 
it does sound like fostering isn't really for you (you could try dog walking for the Cinnamon Trust? Do you think that might be something that could help?). But maybe in the future, you will find yourself able to care for a dog, and can get a pomeranian of your own, but at a time when you're not constantly worrying about the practicalities and the next vet bill etc. 

I had a similar situation with a dog I fostered back in December, though not as bad. I took on a 'difficult' dog through a charity from his owners who didn't want him in kennels, only a foster home, and nobody else was willing to help him, he'd been waiting for months and months. He came here and the only insurmountable problem was that he hated our cats. Like you, if circumstances were different I'd have kept him. He was an absolute delight. I had to let him go to a local kennels until a new foster home could be found for him and felt so terrible. The charity also essentially cut off contact with me so I didn't hear about him again for months. I cried, and dreamed about him often, and we still talk about him. I did find that it helped to unfollow the charity's FB page, where he would likely come up again, and even now I'm in contact with someone who works for them I only very rarely ask how he's doing and if he's found a forever home (he has not yet). I think not keeping in contact with the new owners at this stage is probably a good idea.


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## foxo (Jun 6, 2021)

Bambina said:


> Hi.. I didn't lose my sweet little Pomeranian ,Fox, through death, but I made the very difficult decision to rehome him. I had only had him for one month, and he was a foster-to- rescue situation that I got from a rescue group. But in that month he was the cutest sweetest most loving affectionate dog I had ever known. He followed me everywhere, slept near me every night, gave me kisses, and would lie on my chest. He adored me and I adored him. However, I wavered so much about whether to keep him, but only because I have many rescue cats, a mentally handicapped sister who is kidney transplant recipient that I take care of and a full time job which doesn't pay all that much, so I started getting anxious about how I could physically and financially keep up. I thought that adding another responsibility would be too overwhelming. So the rescue group found a wonderful home for him, and last Friday the adopter drove 2 hours to pick him up. Since then, I have been beating myself up for giving him away. I've cried every day and am missing him terribly. The new owner has been nice enough to send pics and videos, and Fox is clearly loved and spoiled and adjusting well, but I am falling apart. The regret and profound grief of giving him up is killing me although I know nothing can be done now other than to accept that I made this decision. I knew I would be sad to let him go, but I didn't realize how intense the pain would be. Had I known then what I know now, I would never have done it. I am prone to depression, so this is sending me into the deep end. I am starting therapy again to try to come to grips with this. It's only been 8 days I know since he was adopted, but I'm so scared as the grief is getting worse, not better. I wish with all my heart I had never given him up, but of course his new owner is in love with him, so there is no possibility of getting him back. Yesterday I actually deleted the new owners contact info because I thought that perhaps I need to make a clean break if it, as the pics and videos give me temporary relief, knowing he is well loved and cared for, but then I spiral back into depression knowing that he will never be mine again. I am desperate for any suggestions on how to pull myself out of this horrible grief and regret.


I think you put FOX first and realised your circumstances, would make it difficult to cope You are brave unselfish and i am sure you will come to realise this in the future. Take care of yourself


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## MrPurrrfect (8 mo ago)

I'm sorry to hear you're so distressed. As others have said though, it's for the best so you should try to remember that. When you look back with emotions aside, you'll definitely feel better.


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