# Kitten won't play with me



## Maruru (Jul 4, 2020)

About a month ago, I got an around 6 - 8 month old kitty (she was an outdoor cat so the person I got her from doesn't know her exact age).

At first she was very timid and didn't play much, but these days she's full of energy (especially at night). I wanted to establish a sort of routine and play with her on set times, but she doesn't want to play with me.

I bought a bunch of different toys (feathers, mice, ropes on sticks, you call it). I even tried things as simple as shoelaces, but the moment she sees me holding the toy, she seems to lose interest in it. She prefers to play by herself. I got a lot of toys for her to play with when I'm not at home (tunnels, balls, stuffed mice, even those interactive tunnels with a ball inside, which she absolutely adores) and she has no problems playing with those. She likes playing with balls, so I tried playing with those, but if she sees I'm the one holding it or throwing it, she won't play.

The only toy I can play with her with is a laser, but even that seems to be a hit or miss. Sometimes she likes it, sometimes she doesn't.

Has anyone had a cat like this? Or does anyone have any advice on how to get her to play? Everything I read states that cats love a set routine for play and food, but if she'll only play when she wants to, I can't provide her that. It's also a bit annoying when she ony wants to play at 1 and 5 in the morning and she does it with her loudest toys..

Anyway, any advice?


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## Beautiful Storm (Feb 26, 2020)

I think there is a bit of an art to playing with a cat, it is unfortunately not as simple as waving a toy in front of them. First you need to find out what type of toy the cat likes, our two 9 month old kittens prefer feathers on a fishing line to anything else, and I believe lots of other people have had success with da bird style toys. 

Next does she like the toy pulled along the floor like a mouse, or swishing through the air like a bird. One of our cats only goes for the toy if it’s on the ground, the other is happy to jump for her ‘prey’.

Our cats go crazy if we move the feathers frantically around the floor, but they ignore them if they are not moved fast enough. They also get really excited if I swing the feathers under the sofa, or behind a cushion, so they are just out of sight.


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## Maruru (Jul 4, 2020)

Beautiful Storm said:


> I think there is a bit of an art to playing with a cat, it is unfortunately not as simple as waving a toy in front of them. First you need to find out what type of toy the cat likes, our two 9 month old kittens prefer feathers on a fishing line to anything else, and I believe lots of other people have had success with da bird style toys.
> 
> Next does she like the toy pulled along the floor like a mouse, or swishing through the air like a bird. One of our cats only goes for the toy if it's on the ground, the other is happy to jump for her 'prey'.
> 
> Our cats go crazy if we move the feathers frantically around the floor, but they ignore them if they are not moved fast enough. They also get really excited if I swing the feathers under the sofa, or behind a cushion, so they are just out of sight.


I bought pretty much all the different kinds of toys our pet store had to offer.

As for the different styles of play, if I try to move it around a lot or swish it around in the air, she seems to get scared of it, but if I move it around more slowly or hide it behind my bed or some other object, she seems disinterested. In fact, she likes playing even with the fishing rod style toys by herself. She'd play with it if I leave it on the ground, but if my hand if anywhere near the stick, she doesn't like it.


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## Beautiful Storm (Feb 26, 2020)

Generally I don’t think there is that much variety in pet shops when it comes to cat toys. Our two definitely prefer the wands I got from amazon to the several I got from the pet stores. The ones they like are telescopic, have fishing line (the cats just bit right through the elastic) and have interchangeable toys on the ends. We have several different types of toys to go on the end, including stuffed mice and caterpillars but our cats love the feather attachments, and that’s what they go mad for. I would recommend you take a look at the da bird style wands as I know lots of people have success with these.

I used to struggle to get our cats interested in playing with me, yet they would play with my husband. Turns out I just wasn’t swishing the toy around fast enough. However what works for my cats might not work for yours

I do know how frustrating it is when you can’t get your cats to play with you though. We have a couple of bengals who are supposed to be high energy and playful, I just didn’t know what I was doing wrong when they just wasn’t interested in playing with me, until I had a eureka moment. Hopefully you will have one too soon.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Since this cat has lived outdoors, away from humans, for most of her formative life so far I would guess she is human shy. She doesn't know how to play with a human yet. I think she may need more time to get used to you, a month is a very short time.

Instead of trying to engage her in play, sit quietly somewhere not threatening when she does play and watch her in an unobtrusive way. Let her get used to you being there. Talk to her in a quiet voice now and then so she gets used to your voice.


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## Maruru (Jul 4, 2020)

lorilu said:


> Since this cat has lived outdoors, away from humans, for most of her formative life so far I would guess she is human shy. She doesn't know how to play with a human yet. I think she may need more time to get used to you, a month is a very short time.
> 
> Instead of trying to engage her in play, sit quietly somewhere not threatening when she does play and watch her in an unobtrusive way. Let her get used to you being there. Talk to her in a quiet voice now and then so she gets used to your voice.


Yeah, I figured something like this could be the case. How do I know when she's ready for me to start playing with her though? Since she doesn't seem all that scared of me now, just when I try to play with her.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Maruru said:


> Yeah, I figured something like this could be the case. How do I know when she's ready for me to start playing with her though? Since she doesn't seem all that scared of me now, just when I try to play with her.


She'll let you know when she is ready to welcome you to her catly Games. By sitting and observing her while respecting her boundaries you will get better and better at reading her body language and knowing her Own Self.

Playing for kittens is learning, they are honing survival skills instinctively. She's past the go go go go after anything kitten stage now though and entering an age where she feels more caution and thought in her Games. In nature, as the saying goes, she'd be hunting for herself now, no longer just for fun and experience. In my opinion she just needs time to learn to trust before she can feel comfortable letting her guard down enough to play with you.


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## Maruru (Jul 4, 2020)

*Hello! Just wanted to post a quick update!*

She is now happily playing with me I stayed back when she was playing and kept talking to her. I also slowly "re-introduced" the toys to her. When she played with them and felt comfortable with me around while she did so, I took a step further and held the toy while she was playing with it. Now, about a week later, she comes meowing for me to play with her! It's a big change and it helps me keep her tired at night so we can both sleep *Thank you to everyone that helped me solve the problem*❤


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Oh well done!


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