# New Kitten



## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

Hi all,
I'm new here, first of all. second, i need some advice: my family and I recently (4-5 days ago), adopted an 8 week old kitten. he's friendly when you hold him,play with him and pet him, he eats, and uses his litter box, but whenever we put him down, he runs and hides. i know we should leave him be, but my dad is threatening to return the cat if he won't warm up to us. we kept him in a small room at the back of the house for the first two days, and then we let him in the living room, but because all he wants to do is hide, we had to confine him again. also, when he was let out into the living room, he never went to the litter box by himself. we have to take him to it. we had a cat years ago, and he was fine, but we don't know what to do with this one. can anyone help please? i really don't want my dad to return it.


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## Kat1703 (Nov 22, 2011)

Hi - One of the kittens we got a few weeks ago was exactly the same (it's very common) - I posted about my experience here:

http://www.petforums.co.uk/cat-chat/210604-feeling-helpless.html#post1061676568


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

thank you!


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## Kat1703 (Nov 22, 2011)

No problem! I was worried as well, particularly as Basil (the other kitty) settled in immediately. They're just like people, all individuals  Some need a little more time to come out of their shell in their own time but it's so rewarding when they do - you know then that they really trust you! 

Remember your kitten is very young as well - everything is new and strange!


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

I defininately know that. it's my dad who doesn't seem to get that. because this one hides so much, he's convinced he's a "bad" cat, and claims he can't like it now. it makes me really upset. i told him what i've found out from other sites, but he just doesn't seem to care. i'd hate to have our cat be brought back to the lady we got him from, but if it's safer for the cat to not be around my dad, then i can deal, no matter how upset i will be. i just wish this didn't have to be an option at all...


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

4-5 days isn't long and 8 weeks is a little on the young side to leave his mother and really you have bought in a kitten at the worst time of year.  The kitten is just a baby, he has been taken away from his mum and siblings and everything he knows into a strange place with strange smells and probably a lot of coming and goings with visitors etc because it's Christmas - no wonder the kit wants to hide. It is not unusual at all - I know you can see this from the kitten's side but so should your dad - tell him to put himself in the kitten's paws!

All you can do is continue to spend some time with him and play with him, talking to him quietly. You all need to build up his trust. It's not a bad idea to confine him to a room or two at this stage for a week or so but you should all go in and spend time in that room with him; use some wand type toys to play with him; find a soft brush and try to start brushing him *very gently *- particularly around the head and whiskers - he may enjoy that and keep talking to him softly all the time. He will come around but your dad needs to put some effort into building some trust with the kitten - he is only a baby. If you put some time and effort in I am sure even in the next week you will see a big difference.

Good luck, keep us updated.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

thank you  i'm going to do just that, and i'm going to talk to my dad later today. i forgot to mention something in my first post; the kitten was dewormed when we got him, and we were told to give him his second dose of deworming medication in two weeks. is it possible that this is contributing to his hiding? that he's still not feeling so good?


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

I wouldn't have thought so really - unless you noticed he has had diarhoeaa or been sick? All this little kit needs is a bit of time and TLC. He really just needs to find his paws; just tell your dad to give him a chance. He (the kitten not your dad!) should go for his first vaccinations at 9 weeks and then his second shot around 12 weeks so you can ask the vet to give him a once over then just to ensure he is in good health.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

the second day we had him we brought him to the vet for his once over. they said he was fine, but they were a little worried about his pot belly. but we have to give the cat his second dose of deworming in a few days anyway, and he's got a vet appointment on jan, 12. so they can tell us then if he's better or not. and no diarreha. he's going potty normally. today, my dad seems much kinder to the cat, so maybe he's realizing he wasn't being fair. also, we are noticing the more time we spend with him in his little room, the more he's not hiding from us, and playing with us. so hopefully soon he can go out in the rest of the house. right now we are letting him bond with my mom in her room (its connected to kittys room), so he can easily get to his food and water.


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

That's good to hear. Have you a photo of him you could post? We always like to see photos of the furries!


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

Poor kitty.....
8 weeks is too young to be away from his mother and siblings, really.

Just imagine how you felt the first day you were dropped at kindergarten:
lots of very big, very strange people, and your mother nowhere in sight. And these new scare strangers were expecting you to DO things, they didn't understand you instinctively, like you mother does......
that is how your kitten feels...

Spending lots of time with him in his small room is a very good idea.
Also leave clothes smelling of all of you in that room, so he will get used to your scent.

Hiding is a natural instinct for a cat. The fact that cats will show themselves to us and even be touched by us is a sign of extreme, ultimate trust. Such trust takes time and patience.

He is a tiny kitten, lost without his mother, and you are HUGE humans. He still needs to be reassured that he can trust you.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

yep i have a photo


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

so heres an update: kitten is still confined to his little room and my moms room (they are connected). he's not ready for the other rooms yet still, but if we hold him and walk around the house, he's fine. he isn't really hiding in his little room as much. he walks around my moms room but still runs if my dad comes in. he does hide in her room, but in only really two spots. we are still trying to get him to come to us, but he doesn't really want to yet unless we have food or his toys. he loves to play; with our hands, toys, shoelaces. i'm noticing he can't jump onto high places yet, like my moms bed. but if we put him there, he can get down ok. hopefully he will be able to jump up on his own eventually.


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

That sounds better but I wouldn't encourage to play with your hands as when he gets older and swipes it could hurt bigtime!! All he needs is a bit of time and confidence and it sounds like you are doing really well here with him; your encouragement will pay dividends. Try to persuade your dad to give the him some treats or talk quietly to him - just so he can get used to him.

Keep up the good work.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

hey all, so here's the update on the kitten. well, it seemed like he was doing ok, but we still can't get him to not hide. i don't care about that, and neither does my sister or mom, but my dad, well...it really, really bothers him. i have no idea why. so the cat i think is scared of my dad, which makes my dad not like the cat even more. it got bad tonight, that my dad made the poor kitty shake with fear. we tried to get my dad to relax about this, we told him it takes time, but he says he doesn't want to hear it anymore. he's even threatening to harm this cat, and my sister in return is threatening to hurt my dad if he hurts this cat. i told him either get over this and accept it, or we gotta return this cat. cause honestly, i would rather bring him back, no matter how sad i'am about it, then let my father hurt it and traumatize it. i don't understand why he can't accept it, but this anger towards things like this isn't new for us. i wish this update were happier but i had to be honest. if anyone has any advice for me at all, feel free to tell me.


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## Kat1703 (Nov 22, 2011)

I cannot believe that your dad is being so insensitive and cruel to this poor little kitten. A kitten which should not have been taken from their mother at such a young age and is unsurprisingly scared. I know this is not your fault and your dad's behaviour is beyond your control so please don't think my anger is directed at you! The fact that he's made him shake with fear is awful and I'm now seriously worried about the kitten's wellbeing - these early weeks are critical in a kitten's relationship development with humans and if traumatised early on can have permanent effects.

I am usually against returning cats/kittens to homes, but in this case (and only going by the facts you've outlined here - there may be more to it), I don't think he's in a safe environment.

Perhaps it would be better for the kitten to be returned to his mother so he can develop essential skills that she would pass down and he can be in an environment where he can be socialised properly by the shelter/breeder.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

i fully agree with you. he couldn't go back to his mother as he was taken from behind a liquor shop before we adopted him, so he would end up being returned to the lady we got him from. but yes, i agree with you. my dad is calmed a bit, we have been discussing this with him tonight, how either he's gotta get past this or we return the cat if he can't. but my mother wants to keep this cat; it was her x-mas gift cause she really wanted one and we thought this would be good for her. i'm unsure now what will happen but like i said, my mother wants this cat, as do i and my sister, and i made it clear to my dad that either he tries to just accept this, or it would be better to return it. but i fear for this cat. hopefully this will all pass. i'm pleased to say though that the cat is relaxing away from my dad right now, but unfortunately the cat is frightened of my dad, which i don't blame him for. i will keep you updated


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## Kat1703 (Nov 22, 2011)

Lhall said:


> i fully agree with you. he couldn't go back to his mother as he was taken from behind a liquor shop before we adopted him, so he would end up being returned to the lady we got him from. but yes, i agree with you. my dad is calmed a bit, we have been discussing this with him tonight, how either he's gotta get past this or we return the cat if he can't. but my mother wants to keep this cat; it was her x-mas gift cause she really wanted one and we thought this would be good for her. i'm unsure now what will happen but like i said, my mother wants this cat, as do i and my sister, and i made it clear to my dad that either he tries to just accept this, or it would be better to return it. but i fear for this cat. hopefully this will all pass. i'm pleased to say though that the cat is relaxing away from my dad right now, but unfortunately the cat is frightened of my dad, which i don't blame him for. i will keep you updated


Well I really hope you can all work it out together  I can see that you, your mum and your sister care about this kitten a great deal and want to keep him. Just always remember that the kitten's needs and safety come first. Your kitten is likely to be scared of your dad for a while and he's going to have to put in the effort if he wants this to change. Keep us updated


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

thank you  i hope so too. and i will definitely keep you all updated


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

Yes, agree with other posters' comments. Cats are very sensitive and this kitten will pick up on your dad's aggression and act accordingly. Your dad is going to have to put in some serious "play" time with this kitten if he wants to have any sort of relationship with him. And this will be the same for any other animal that would come into your home - trust has to be earned. The kitten is very fortunate to have you, your mum and sister around to protect him but if your dad is not willing to put any time or effort in in building any relationship with this baby then much as I hate to say it, it may be safer all around to return the kitten.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

hey all,
here's an update. nothing really new to discuss. I'm still unsure if we are returning it, but when we talked to my dad last night about the cat i once again told him what the options are and he said he won't return it, since my mom wants it. but i still feel he's being very indecisive about it. he hasn't been mean towards the cat lately thank god, and he has tried to interact with it, but the cat is so scared it just sits there, with its ears back. it won't even play when my dad is in the room, so that doesn't help. and all my dad does is complain about the cat, and its to the point where i just get up and leave the room cause i'm so sick of hearing it. i tried helping but no one listens to me so basically if he doesn't make any decision and keeps this up well, i'm not listening to the complaining anymore. 
**NEW Update: so after writing this and posting it, i had to come back and edit it to include this: i walked into the living room and happily saw that my sister, and dad are playing with the cat, and he's actually responding a little more than before. this is definite progress because as i stated before, he would stop playing when my dad would be in the room.


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## Lunaowen (Jan 8, 2012)

We had our new kitten just over a week ago. She hid at beginning and I used to get her out occasionally if I could. She soon changed though by us picking her up and stroking her and playing with toys we have ones on a stick that we can move around which she loved. Now she follows us around and comes for cuddles or to sleep by us during day or till we go to bed as in the kitchen of a night. She is particularly affectionate and not all kittens like that but yours will definately warm to you all with time, if he is ok when you are holding him etc then that is good. I was given a good tip with the litter tray and that was as soon as you get her home for first time place her in it and let her venture out so she knows how to find it, we have not had one accident yet which I am extremely shocked at. Try palcing him in there and letting him do own thing. Hope this helps and your Dad changes his mind and your kitten settles soon.


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## Lunaowen (Jan 8, 2012)

Our kitten was my christmas gift to from my Husband after pestering for ages. Obviously we all love the kitten especially the kids who hate it when I tease saying She's my Kitten. Bet your Mum was pleased like me and glad to hear things are improving


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## kelassa (Sep 13, 2011)

Hiya, I just read through the posts. I hope it all goes well with your new kitten. I know people have said it already, but please remember your new kitty is just a baby. It will also pick up on any negativity from your dad. Any damage done now will be harder to undo later on. My husband wouldn't go near our kitten when we first got her, when she cried at night I went to her for cuddles...kitten definitely comes to me more now.

All the best


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

thanks for the replies everyone. our kitten (who's name is now silver), is doing well. nothing really new has happened, but he came out to explore the house on his own yesterday so that was wonderful. he doesn't like being pet when he's doing his own thing though, and he's afraid of loud noises and sudden movements. but he loves playing; i constantly hear the jingle of his collar. as for the issue with my dad, despite his complaints over the cat hiding constantly, he's been trying to be nicer to the cat, which is good. but Silver still cowers in fear when my dad enters the room. we think something happened that involved a man before we got him and now he's afraid of guys. i think it makes sense. but unless another guy comes to our house to visit and he pets the cat, we can't be sure.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

hey all! wanted to give you an update on Silver.
He's doing very well! everything here is pretty much calmer. he still fears my dad, and goes into scared mode when he's home and does love hiding but i'm pleased to say my dad has been better about this now, and the cat has come out on his own during the day. currently he's sitting on the floor of my living room  getting him to explore on his own and feeling free to wander the house is something we wanted and i'm so glad he's done it. only thing i want now is for him to roam at night but because my mom doesn't keep her bed room door open, even though we tell her to (she has brain damage so she can't remember things we say), so he can get to his food and litter box, so he has to sleep with her. but its fine, he seems to be ok with that


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## Kat1703 (Nov 22, 2011)

Lhall said:


> hey all! wanted to give you an update on Silver.
> He's doing very well! everything here is pretty much calmer. he still fears my dad, and goes into scared mode when he's home and does love hiding but i'm pleased to say my dad has been better about this now, and the cat has come out on his own during the day. currently he's sitting on the floor of my living room  getting him to explore on his own and feeling free to wander the house is something we wanted and i'm so glad he's done it. only thing i want now is for him to roam at night but because my mom doesn't keep her bed room door open, even though we tell her to (she has brain damage so she can't remember things we say), so he can get to his food and litter box, so he has to sleep with her. but its fine, he seems to be ok with that


So glad things are looking up  Silver will become more and more confident, you never know, one day she may even jump onto your dad's lap!


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

hey all,
back again with another update. unfortunately last night there was a set back  the cat from what my sister is telling me is just as scared as ever of my dad. (I'm not home, i'm at school. so she's keeping me posted). apparently Silver clawed my dad cause he wanted to get down and it made my dad angry. luckily the cat is totally fine with my mom and sister, but i'm so worried that this is just going to further damage my dad and Silver's relationship. my sister is trying to talk to my dad, get him to just relax. but jeez. this is rediculous; my dad wants the cat to like him, but he's just not doing a good job at proving this. and I thought things were better, since they were for like...a few weeks but obviously not..to be honest this situation makes me really sad. and no, talking to my dad, is useless. he doesn't listen to us, and just doesn't wanna take it to heart what we say. I wish i could be home to protect this cat, and luckily my sister can be there sometimes since she goes to college close to home. but i'm giving up on the cat ever liking my dad. i hate to say it, but i'm so tired of all of his crap..


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

Sadly this will probably be the same with any animal your dad gets - they won't "automatically" like him - he has to put time and effort in. It does sound like perhaps Silver was treated badly by a man before and hence his nervousness around your dad - which is why he needs to be more understanding. But I guess you absolutely know all this already!

If you are really concerned for Silver it may perhaps be an idea to start looking around for a new home for him - perhaps a quiet female only home or perhaps with a retired couple who may be willing to put some time in with him. It would be a shame for you and your sister and mum but if you are uncertain as to your dad's intentions then it may be safer for Silver in the long run.

You and your sister are doing your best but sadly it may not be enough, by the sounds of it, for your dad. 

Do keep us updated.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

I agree. i think he was abused by a man. we've discussed this with my dad, so he knows what we think. I keep saying that he either just relaxes over this, or the cat is given away or back to the lady we got him from. i've said it multiple times, and each time my dad has said "no we are keeping him. mom wants him". i think that fact alone is what is keeping him from telling me to start looking for homes. i feel though the longer we have him, the harder it will be to find him a better home because he likes the rest of us and stuff...but i've given up talking to my dad about it. it's not that I don't care about this cat, believe me, i do alot. i just have given up on making my dad understand; we just can't talk to him. I'm tired of the fighting and angry comments/yelling about this. its so much drama over something so little.
oh and I will absolutely keep you all updated. I really appreciate all the posts i've gotten; so thank you everyone


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

I think we can all appreciate you care very much about Silver and it is very frustrating for you that your dad can't understand. All you can hope is that if your dad will stop trying to MAKE the kitten like him - the kitten may come around to him eventually once he realises a man won't hurt him.

Let's just hope things improve.


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## thedeans (Apr 8, 2009)

cats are a little like the SAS anyway - well mine are - they sneak around entering rooms stealthily hiding under furniture and then WHAM they dive on you - its what some do - mine in the past have even managed to keep the bells on their collars still - so for some cats hiding IS the norm

As for clawing all cats will let you know when they've had enough of being held or fussed anyway but my Luna will scratch out when picked up UNLESS its my daughter doing it and Wispa vice versa - its nothing personal

Some cats just tend to live alongside humans and never really interact (some are just too posh) whilst others demand lots of attention - I'm lucky that mine are more like the first as I work so can't be with them 24/7 anyway - they are all individual

Hope things resolve for you and you can reach some kind of happy medium


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## gav5 (Jan 26, 2012)

Just give him time. Don't forget he's just a kitten. When I first brought my kitten nilly home, she was very wary of the surrounding and would jump away and hide whenever she sense some movements approaching towards her. Right now, after months, she no longer develop that feeling of insecurity and has grown affectionate towards everyone in the house.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

hello everyone! sorry its been a while. haven't had anything new to say. but here's an update:
i'm at school still, so i get my updates from my dad. the cat still hides from him usually, but today he actually jumped onto the couch and sat by my dad! first time ever! i'm pleased that he did this. however, i don't think it'll last only cause one minute the cat is fine, then next minute, he freaks out for no reason and runs off and hides again. and yes, unfortuantely my dad told me he sometimes gets pissed at the cat still, but i can't do anything about that; i'm just glad silver isn't being seriously hurt from him, thats all. but nonetheless i wanted to share this with you all  other than hiding from my dad still, mostly, he's doing fine; he's getting so big! he follows my mom around and sleeps with her which is great. he's been exploring alot too. so he's overall doing well. well, thats all  lets hope this is a step into him approaching my father more


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## Treaclesmum (Sep 26, 2011)

I'm glad things are improving! Silver looks so adorable! My Dad found Treacle a bit of a handful when he was tiny especially as it was just him on his own, and he would always climb onto the furniture (i.e. my Dad's hi-fi!) but now Treacle is such a lovely, relaxed, gentle cat and so friendly with us and with Jumpy. I hope Silver will turn out the same


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

thank you! I also hope Silver turns out that way


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

Welcome back and good to have an update. Hopefully, as you say, it may be the start of better things between the cat and your dad. You can but hope. At least your mum has a lovely companion!


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

so, i'm home for my spring break, and Silver is doing well  yes, he still hides, but he actually doesn't do it as much now. when we first got him he hid nearly all day but now he hangs out with us most of the day (well with me and my mom at least lol). he's a happy little kitty  i'll probably put a new pic up in a few days or so; he's getting so big! and this might be my last post for a while unless i have anything new to say. so thank you all for the help/advice you've given me! i've greatly appreciated it


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

Do post a piccie. Would love to see how he is looking


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

ok, i posted a new pic


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

Which section?


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## Cats cats cats (Feb 4, 2011)

Hi  with the greatest of respect to you , i think you should rehome this poor kitten . Your dad has threatened to hurt him !!!  Even if he has not yet , for someone to even say that they will , to me, is shocking ! 

i'm sorry , i just genuinely fear for the little ones future well being


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

sorry, i had a hard time posting one. i attached it to this post.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

and valeriewhiteside: I understand and i agree as well; i was all set to re-home him in the beginning, i was that worried. and believe me, I love my cat, as does my mom and sister. we protect him. but I assure you, he's doing absolutely fine. i admit, my dad has a short temper, as i've said before. he's impatient, and does get frusturated at times with the cat. but, he won't hurt it, even if he threatens to. and i know, threatening to do it is not good either; my dad doesn't hate the cat, he hates that it likes hiding. and he hasn't been as angry anymore with him, and i think its cause he hides alot less now. but i promise you, Silver is a happy little kitty. he's playful, friendly, healthy. but I appreciate the concern, i really do


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## Cats cats cats (Feb 4, 2011)

Hi  I'm so glad to hear that  And i'm very pleased you're not offended by what i said . silver is absolutely gorgeous by the way !!!! :001_tt1: :001_tt1: :001_tt1: :001_tt1: :001_tt1:


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

He is gorgeous - such a beautiful colour too.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

Thank you both


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## porps (Jun 23, 2011)

aaaaw he's lovely 

When i first got Rumble he hid a lot for the first week, but he's grown into the most fearless cats i've ever known... perfectly normal dont worry


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

Hi all.
Its been awhile, but I thought it was a good time for an update on Silver. there isn't too much new actually. He's doing good. feisty little kitty  hides less now too. however, he still runs from my dad a bit. my dad just pets him, and tries to play with him, but silver just tries to get away still. he likes me, my sister and my mom though; he'll play with us, and be sweet to us. I'll be honest; I wish my cat would like my dad more. in fact he did be friendly to my dad, when my mom wasn't here for a while; he had to be because my dad was the only food giver. but i wish he wouldn't be scared of my dad still really. its been nearly 6 months. and I'm pretty sure its nothing my dad is/isn't doing, cause he is nice to the cat. he just gets frusturated that silver isn't too friendly to him back. so, if anyone has any suggestions feel free to tell me  otherwise, alls good here.


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## Rebeccaxxx (Jul 20, 2011)

my grandpa used to hide treats in his pockets to get cats to like him, could be worth a try?


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## ChinaBlue (Feb 3, 2008)

Patience should win in the end. If your dad keeps feeding him and occasionally playing with Silver he will eventually come around. It could be he just had a traumatic experience with a man before you actually got him.
Would love to see an updated photo of him now?


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## RabbitMonster (Mar 20, 2012)

Just wanted to share my story, might help it put things in perspective for your dad.

When I got Molly, she was semi-feral, and not very healthy (although we were lucky there were no worms!). We had her from October through til January, and then we had to go away for a month. Between Oct-Jan, Molly was the most aloof cat I've ever seen, she rarely wanted a cuddle, she would enjoy a play but only on her terms, and there was no way she'd stay in a room with us unless she was asleep.

So we went away for a month and came back, and my goodness what a difference that month made! :scared: As soon as we got her back in the house she wanted cuddles galore! Every morning she'd be waking me up at 8am for her breakfast, she would demand morning cuddles and would yowl until she got them! Her morning cuddles even made me miss _the only bus to uni_ regularly!  When I got back from uni she'd race to the door to say hello, and then me and her would sit on the stairs and have a good old cuddle while she purred away like a tractor.

She went from a cat that wasn't interested in hoomans to a cat that loved her cuddles, would sleep on my lap all day, would come to me for my neck and shoulder massages (she's convinced I'm the only one that can do this to her liking!), and all of that took 4 months and a month over the other side of the world!

So my point really is that some cats just take forever to come round, but when they do, watch out! They'll be all over you like a rash and it's just wonderful! I know you've said it's 6 months now, but think about it this way. If you were tiny and a big, scary old man did something horrible to you, it's gonna take a heck of a lot more than 6 months to stop being scared, cus you're having to go against instinct.


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## Lhall (Dec 27, 2011)

thanks for all the replies  I think with time, he'll realize my dad will not hurt him, and I do agree, I think something traumatic happened with a man before we got him. when he first came here, he was so freaked out. but its really amazing how much he's let his personality shine since then. I'll post an updated photo of him.


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