# It wa FATE



## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

My gorgeous darling Bismarck was taken suddenly today by Feline Aortic Thrombo Embolism (FATE).

He was 9 years 8 months 26 days old.

One moment he was fine, the next his back legs had given out and he was howling with pain.

We raced him down to the vet, who took one look at him, gave him a massive painkilling injection and told us to take him to the specialist vetinary clinic in our town.

Turns out he had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy which is what caused the embolism.

The final diagnosis was that they would be able to reduce his pain level by no more than 50% even with the strongest drugs they had and even with all treatments could only give him about a 50% chance of surviving the night, so we made the painful and difficult decision to let him go peacefully to the Rainbow Bridge. 

He died in my arms looking into my eyes and I miss him so much already.

I'm outside digging his grave, but not sure I can actually bury him tonight.

He was the most loving and loved cat who brought such joy to my life.

RIP my darling. I'll see you at the bridge.


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

I'm so sorry 
RIP Bismarck  Be free from pain over the Rainbow Bridge


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## Lulus mum (Feb 14, 2011)

So so sad to read your post.
Losing any pet is traumatic but losing one very suddenly and unexpectedly is worse I think.
(we lost our dog Lulu 2 yrs ago with no warning at all)

Im glad that you were able to hold him while he slipped away and that your eyes were the last things he saw and I hope that gives you a tiny bit of comfort.

Lulu died just before midnight ,so we couldnt bury her straight away-like you said I didnt want to anyway ,so we let her sleep her last night in her bed .

Sending you a big hug and hoping that you get as much support on here as I did-it helped so much.

Sleep well Bismarck,no more pain at Rainbow Bridge.
Maureen


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## dogandbone (Apr 21, 2010)

My thoughts are with you, I'm so sorry for your loss.
It's small comfort I know, but as Lulu's mum says, at least you were with Bismarck as he went on his final journey. That would have meant the world to him.


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

Thank you all for your kind words.

The grave is dug and all prepared but I just can't bring my self to lower him in, so I'm lying on the bed with him and thinking I'll do it in the morning.

My other 2 cats are outside the bedroom but I don't know if I should let them in?

The vet said that as well as the aortic embolism he also had taken additional clots in his lungs and now the poor wee thing is having a post-mortem nose bleed so I guess the vet was right.

I can't put him in the ground when he's like that so...... Tomorrow morning it is.

I'm so grateful I found this site where I can ramble on without fear. Thank you.


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## jonb (Nov 15, 2012)

RIP Bismarck
run free at the bridge


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## Knightofalbion (Jul 3, 2012)

Bisme said:


> He died in my arms looking into my eyes...


So sorry to hear about your beloved Bismarck.

After all those years of faithful love and companionship, to die 'in your arms looking into your eyes', it's hard to imagine that there could be a more loving, tender and, dare I say, beautiful way to end his (earthly) life...


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## Flamingoes (Dec 8, 2012)

I'm so, sorry for your loss 

Sleep well sweetheart


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## Cromford (Nov 12, 2012)

You will find many sympathetic people in here who understand how you feel. 

We buried Scrabble too. Do it when you are ready. Maybe keep a wee clipping as a memento? I have a few curls of my pal hidden in my office desk just for me. He used to keep me company in the office so it seems somehow appropriate.

Bisme will be waiting for you at the bridge.


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

So sorry for your loss......
Remember that he felt your arms around him till the very last, he went to the bridge enveloped in your loving care.

By all means let your other cats say goodbye to him, it will make it easier for them when they have seen him. At least they will understand what happened, he will not just have 'disappeared'....


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## Jansheff (Jan 31, 2011)

I'm so sorry, it is a terrible shock when they are taken suddenly.


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## Ang2 (Jun 15, 2012)

Heartbreaking to read this. RIP little one x


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

Knightofalbion said:


> So sorry to hear about your beloved Bismarck.
> 
> After all those years of faithful love and companionship, to die 'in your arms looking into your eyes', it's hard to imagine that there could be a more loving, tender and, dare I say, beautiful way to end his (earthly) life...


Thank you. You're right. It was very loving and tender and I'm so glad I got the chance to hold him one last time and be with him at the end.


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

Jiskefet said:


> So sorry for your loss......
> Remember that he felt your arms around him till the very last, he went to the bridge enveloped in your loving care.
> 
> By all means let your other cats say goodbye to him, it will make it easier for them when they have seen him. At least they will understand what happened, he will not just have 'disappeared'....


Thank you. He was so very much loved and is desperately missed.

The other cats came into the bedroom last night and curled up with me and Bismarck. I'm glad they got their chance to say goodbye as well.

I hope he is enjoying all his new friends at the rainbow bridge.


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## Grace_Lily (Nov 28, 2010)

So sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a pet suddenly and unexpectedly is utterly devastating and so traumatic. Give yourself time to move through the stages of grief, you may also have lots of 'what-if' questions running through your mind which is totally normal. 

Run free at the bridge little one x


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

Grace_Lily said:


> So sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a pet suddenly and unexpectedly is utterly devastating and so traumatic. Give yourself time to move through the stages of grief, you may also have lots of 'what-if' questions running through your mind which is totally normal.
> 
> Run free at the bridge little one x


Thank you Grace_Lily. Yes it is traumatic and I think I've cycled through the various stages of grief a number of times in the last 24 hours and I'm sure I'll continue to do so.

Most of my what if questions are now relating to Bismarck's sister (they are litter mates) so I'm getting her heart checked out on Thursday in case she also has asymptomatic heart disease. Fingers crossed.


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## Missyx (Dec 2, 2011)

((( Im so, so sorry for your loss ((( 

Run free over the Bridge Bismark xx


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

I am so sorry Bisme. The very same thing happened to us last January 21st.
Harley our British short hair cat was 3 years old and we had no warning either until his back legs went.
We were so devastated I couldn't work for a week. Luckily we had good friends and family and of course this pet forum.
It is a cruel disease and a silent killer.
It will take time to come to terms with your loss of your little one.
You might become Angry in the next day or so which is only natural. 
On this forum we are all Animal lovers and understand what you are going through so we are here to help and listen to you what ever time or Day.
You asked about letting your other cats see him. I would definitely let them say good bye to him. They will understand and will help them with their bereavement too.

R.I.P Bismarck and run free at the Rainbow Bridge xx


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

Thank you Missyx.



Thank you Jill3. I'll be thinking of you on your anniversary. It's such a horrible disease. I have to go back to work tomorrow. Not sure how I'll cope with that. I did end up letting my other 2 cats in to see him last night and we all curled upon the bed together. Both are getting excessive amounts of hugs and petting today but seem to be doing fine so I think I did the right thing to let them see him.


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

Day 2 without him. I'm on my way back to work and feel sick to my stomach. I feel so guilty for leaving him.


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## mmo02old1 (Dec 27, 2012)

No matter what happens, all want to live with a smile.


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

Thank you mmo. Hopefully Bismarck is smiling with all his new friends at the bridge.


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

I found out today from the people who were the pet parents of Bismarck's father that their cat died of the same thing.

Is it wrong of me to be angry at them for not telling me that Bismarck might have inherited a heart disease? They visited with us 8 months ago and while they said the Bismarck's father had died a few years previously, they didn't say how. (I should have asked :head smack: ) If they had told me, I could have had him checked and put on medication.

I'm trying to be rational but part of me is so angry right now.


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## gbean2871 (Jan 17, 2013)

I am so sorry to hear this. Losing a pet is one of the most painful things you can experience and what makes it harder is that other people (who don't have pets) just don't understand how you feel.

I lost my two 19 year old cats during the last 18 months and the first few days/weeks were so dark and miserable, I didn't know how I would cope.

It does get easier as time goes by but you'll never forget your friend. I still have a wee bubble when I see video footage or photos.

We rescued a long haired tortoiseshell kitten in June last year and she has helped us to fill the void. It was the best for us.

Big hugs to you xx


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

Bisme said:


> I found out today from the people who were the pet parents of Bismarck's father that their cat died of the same thing.
> 
> Is it wrong of me to be angry at them for not telling me that Bismarck might have inherited a heart disease? They visited with us 8 months ago and while they said the Bismarck's father had died a few years previously, they didn't say how. (I should have asked :head smack: ) If they had told me, I could have had him checked and put on medication.
> 
> I'm trying to be rational but part of me is so angry right now.


I think it is only natural for you to be Angry. I think I mentioned this in my last post. I know how you feel. you feel cheated and that it just wasn't fair for him to die so young. I had exactly the same feelings. 
This disease can be inherited and if this is so then they should not breed.
I too would be up set about this.
I adopted Harley at 11 months old and so didn't know any of his history. This has taught me a lesson.
All cats now I have will have to be checked out along with the Breeder.
I could never go through this again.
people say to you time is a great healer well to me it is still painful and the only thing that has got me through this is our latest little British Boy called Archie.
Try not to beat yourself up about the ifs and buts having read a lot about this disease there is medication but it is not curable and what happened to our Boys sadly the medication I don't think would have helped.

Here's a pictures of my Boy. 
I am sure Harley will look after Bismarck for you until you meet again xx


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## Cinbad (Jan 13, 2013)

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of Bismark. I lost my kitty 2 days ago after 17 wonderful years. Yes it hurts and I miss him so much. I won't say you'll get over it because it takes a long time. I still think of my other fur babies I've lost over the years and have lot's of pictures. I can't bring myself to look at pictures right now. I keep wishing I could feel him snuggling beside me in bed or hear him chirping. Then I think maybe he went over Rainbow's Bridge and is happy and not sick anymore and someday I'll see him and my other furbabies someday. I've been grieving for a while because I knew it was coming and I struggled with whether to bury him or have him cremated. I chose cremation and will get his ashes. 
Hugs and much sympathy for you.


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## Colliebarmy (Sep 27, 2012)

Our old girl (well, 12 years old) died in my arms having a seizure, it took her 30 minutes to finally be at rest, you never forget them

http://www.petforums.co.uk/rainbow-bridge/264453-forever-sadie-day.html


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## koekemakranka (Aug 2, 2010)

So sorry for your loss. RIP sweet one.


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

gbean2871 said:


> I am so sorry to hear this. Losing a pet is one of the most painful things you can experience and what makes it harder is that other people (who don't have pets) just don't understand how you feel.
> 
> I lost my two 19 year old cats during the last 18 months and the first few days/weeks were so dark and miserable, I didn't know how I would cope.
> 
> ...


Thank you gbean.

I'm so sorry for your losses also. It' very hard to loss our best friends.

I had a few wee cries last week with no doubt more to come today.


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

jill3 said:


> I think it is only natural for you to be Angry. I think I mentioned this in my last post. I know how you feel. you feel cheated and that it just wasn't fair for him to die so young. I had exactly the same feelings.
> This disease can be inherited and if this is so then they should not breed.
> I too would be up set about this.
> I adopted Harley at 11 months old and so didn't know any of his history. This has taught me a lesson.
> ...


Thank you Jill. Your words help a lot.

We had Harriet checked last week and her heart is fine so that was a huge relief, but I'll be getting her checked every year from now on - hang the expense.

Thinking of you today.

It's now exactly one week since I buried Bismarck. Yesterday was hard. I kept remembering what I was doing each hour of that awful Sunday a week ago. I spent a lot of time by Bismarck's grave blubbing and I'm doing the same right now.

It's such a hollow feeling, but having Harriet to take care of helps to keep me sane.

Big hugs to you for your losses.


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

Cinbad said:


> I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of Bismark. I lost my kitty 2 days ago after 17 wonderful years. Yes it hurts and I miss him so much. I won't say you'll get over it because it takes a long time. I still think of my other fur babies I've lost over the years and have lot's of pictures. I can't bring myself to look at pictures right now. I keep wishing I could feel him snuggling beside me in bed or hear him chirping. Then I think maybe he went over Rainbow's Bridge and is happy and not sick anymore and someday I'll see him and my other furbabies someday. I've been grieving for a while because I knew it was coming and I struggled with whether to bury him or have him cremated. I chose cremation and will get his ashes.
> Hugs and much sympathy for you.


Thank you Cinbad. I spent a few hours yesterday looking at all my photos of Bismarck and found for it helped me a lot. Each photo brought back a lovely memory and helped me smile. It was painful but worth it to me.

I know what you mean about feeling him snuggling in bed. Bismarck gave the best smooches and sometimes in that half awake state in the dark hours I have a second where I think he's there. Then the tears start again . But for just that second ........

Hugs to you for your loss.


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

Colliebarmy said:


> Our old girl (well, 12 years old) died in my arms having a seizure, it took her 30 minutes to finally be at rest, you never forget them
> 
> http://www.petforums.co.uk/rainbow-bridge/264453-forever-sadie-day.html


I'm sorry about Sadie. How awful.

You're right - you never forget.


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## Bisme (Jan 13, 2013)

koekemakranka said:


> So sorry for your loss. RIP sweet one.


Thank you koekemakranka.


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

I am glad that Harriet's Heart is OK.
Must have been such a relief for you.
I would like another British sometime in the future but I will be very careful where I get him from. 

It's nice to look back at photos and Videos but I know if we could have one wish I know what we both would wish for.

Hugs xx


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