# Home needed for adult female (Norfolk but will deliver anywhere)



## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Hi there. I am sadly looking for a new, top-quality home for one of my five cats. For the past two months one of my gang has become very depressed, which has manifested itself in various ways, including weeing outside the box, becoming extremely clingy to me and picking fights with the other cats (one in particular). Her urinalysis and blood work were both clear, and we cannot identify any physical health problem. I've been working with a behaviourist to make changes to the cats' environment and routine but nothing seems to be having any effect. The behaviourist suggests that the cat is simply fed up of competing for resources, whether that's space or my time etc. The cat in question is female, 5 years old, and I've had her since she was 10 months old, so it is a very sad and difficult parting. However, with five cats in a two-bedroom flat it seems that what I'm offering and what I'm providing is just not making her happy anymore. I am still open to suggestions on how to improve relationships in my home but, with all due respect to your expertise, I think the behaviourists and I have covered everything. We've tried Feliway, Zylkene, Rescue Remedy, changing food/litter, rearranging furnitures etc, scheduled play sessions, rotating toys, new toys, reintroductions... the list goes on.

The cat, whose name is Soda, is black and white. She's on the right-hand side in this picture: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?...167790.1073741830.161028272789&type=3&theater. The other two cats are her kittens (she was pregnant when I took her in). I think she would love to be rehomed with her female kitten, the one on the left, but I know times are very, very tough for animals and finding a home for two may not be possible. I have considered rehoming the cat that Soda is fighting with but, as he is disabled, it is much harder to find a home.

Soda gets on well with some cats and obviously not with others. I suspect space has a lot to do with this: a three-bedroom house with one or two other cats is obviously very different to a flat with four others. She adores people and is very loyal, sociable and affectionate. She snores as loudly as she purrs and she's extremely bouncy and playful (Da Bird is a particular favourite!). She's always lived indoors but I think she'd enjoy the option to go outside if it were there. This is not a requisite, as she's always seemed content to be inside.

She is spayed, microchipped and up to date with her vaccinations. I'm really hoping for someone who might even be willing to keep in touch with me every once in a while, just to say hello and let me know that she's doing well. This is a very sad, unwelcome situation and I'm utterly devastated that it's having to come to this. I've volunteered with several rescues for many years and never, ever thought I'd be in the position to have to rehome one of my family.

She doesn't need a rescue space: she is welcome to stay here as long as it takes to find her a lovely home, but she is making it very clear that I, and this house, do not make her happy.

We live in Norfolk but I would deliver as far as Malaysia for the right home. All that matters is that she goes somewhere loving, kind and where she will be viewed as a member of the family, rather than a pet, because she's the warm heart at the centre of everything.

Please do contact me if you have any questions, or if you have any recommendations I may not have heard for making her life here more bearable. Thank you.


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## Paddypaws

I am sorry I cannot offer this lovely cat a home, but I just wanted to offer some support at this difficult time for you.
It really does sound as if you have exhausted every option and I think you are very bravely making the right decision.
I really hope that you manage to find the perfect new home for your little one soon and will watch this thread for updates.


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## Shadow And Lightning

i would love to offer a home but i don't think a house with 10 other cats would be appropriate especially as fifi loves to terrorise female cats 

i do hope you find somewhere soon
could you not put her in a room by herself? or away from the disabled cat you mentioned?


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## Paddypaws

OP....you should pop a message on purrsinourhearts too....it is a very 'rescue friendly' forum.


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Thanks for the tip, Paddypaws. I'll wander over there this afternoon.

Shadow, I can isolate her because I have a spare room (I can't put the disabled one in there because he would be very distressed being shut away, whereas Soda (especially if I put her in with her female kitten) would tolerate it, albeit she wouldn't be happy). Of course it's not really a long-term solution. I don't see myself being able to afford a bigger place any time soon. Or ever, really, come to think of it, so I can't really do it on the proviso of "maybe this time next year I'll have a house so there'll be more room". Fortunately right now the two are on opposite sites of the flat and, in his defense, the disabled cat only ever retaliates or defends himself, he never starts a fight. He's deaf (with poor sight and some suspected brain damage too - he's a rescue cat who had a very, very nasty start in life) so he tends to follow me around a lot, as it's the only way he knows where I am. Now that Soda is starting to follow me around a lot too, it's all becoming competitive. I give them as much individual time as I can but sadly I work a 70-hour week (which I can't reduce, because I need the money in order to look after the cats... it's a catch 22 situation), so they're probably all a little short. Until last year I lived with someone and with two of us splitting our love across five (not to mention the fact I wasn't paying for a flat and five animals alone at that point, so I didn't have such crazy working hours) everything was much easier. Right now the poor girl must feel so neglected, but whenever I'm not working I'm sitting on the sofa, or playing, with the furbabies, so I'm really doing the best I can do.


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## Paddypaws

BHB, it really DOES sound as if you are doing as much as you possibly can.
i think you need to launch a bit of a campaign.....get several good shots of Soda (and her kitten ) and write a blog with lots of detail about personality, quirks, food likes etc.
Keep posting on here as well as Purrs and I would not even rule out Bumtree personally as long as you are happy to screen potentials closely.
Can you 'share' on Facebook with friends, colleagues etc? Advertise in local vet offices and pet shops?


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Gumtree scares the life out of me, to be honest. I know there are good people out there, but the whole idea worries me something sick. I'm one of the people who have written to Gumtree asking them to remove their live animal section, and it'd be so awful to have to go back on my principles in that way. 

I've spoken to my friends, family, colleagues and neighbours but so far hit a wall. Social networking is a smashing idea although, as it stands, I am the one person in the developed world who doesn't have accounts for Facebook or any other such sites. I'll have to look into it later.

Photo-wise, I have thousands. I'll put some more on here in case anyone watching is considering taking on another cat. They may include her daughter, because they really do spend most of their time sitting together.


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

And some more, because if nothing else we all like looking at cat pictures! Sorry if some of them are poor quality; my cameras have ranged over the years...


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

More again... 

I usually post at CatChat and I wish they had this easy posting facility!


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

I haven't tried my vets or local pet shops (or shop singular, I think the case may be!) but that will be my next step. Thank you for your suggestions.


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## catcoonz

Do try the vets and also pets4homes have an adoption page, aslong as you screen potential owners carefully and even if they already have cats ask for vet details then you can phone the surgery, im sure you will be fine.

Hopefully you will find a nice home where the owner will keep you updated with photo's.


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## Paddypaws

I know Bumtree is ill thought of....and the rescue I visit has also joined the campaign to stop advertisement of animals.
BUT....it does get you out to a wider audience and TBH I think a lot of the dodgy shoppers will scan quickly past an ad such as yours, looking for the 'rare long haired Bengals' priced at £25.
I myself have two adored ex-Gumtree cats and I have found many a cat for friends/family on there over the years so it is not all bad.


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## Marycat

Ahh so sad but be proud you are doing the right and selfless thing. It takes courage and a good heart to know that your cat would be happier elsewhere. You have tried everything, you can't do more than your best. I would happily take her but my cats would not be impressed. There will be a good home out there for her.


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Am I doing the right thing?

God, I really don't know. The upset one normally gets on so well with four of the other cats. Would I be better off trying to rehome the deaf one, who gets on very well with only three of them? 

I can't get my head around the fact that I'm not going to see one of babies everyday. How do I know who should go?

What if I rehome the deaf cat and Soda is still unhappy?

I'm so very sad. I don't know what to do.


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Does anyone have any advice?


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## Jonescat

Really feel for you but don't have enough experience to suggest much. Did you discuss one leaving with the behaviourist - who knows the dynamic better than we do? Could you ring and ask their opinion? 

I think one of our members had a similar situation (ish) and had to rehome for the sake of the miserable cat. When she got to her new home, it took a good while for her to settle in but now she looks really happy. The member did take a lot of time to find the right home though, which I think is probably the key.

Try and draw up a list of what you want for her and then "advertise" for the person. Several people on here work with rescues and could maybe help you word it the right way. If she is so miserable she has "given up the struggle" then I thing you have to do it - she will be vulnerable to opportunistic infection (e.g. UTIs etc) and likely to feel quite poorly if it continues.

Hugs though, it sounds horrible.


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Hi Jonescat

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I've emailed the behavourist tonight to ask her opinion, although she may not answer without my paying another consultation fee, which I just cannot afford right now. I'm going to post on Purrs in our Hearts right now but I realise just how rare and valuable good homes are right now. I'm trying to keep my cat out of a rescue so that they'll have space to take in truly desperate cases, but I don't want the fact that I'm a private advertiser to put people off.


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## Schez

I've just read your post and I'm heartbroken for you.  if I was in a position to help you I would... She's beautiful.
Me and my family have just passed a home check with cats protection (subject to the instalment of a cat flap...) but they have no cats at present that would suit our young family.
If I was closer and knew if Soda could cope in a family home I would offer a home in a heartbeat.

I just hope you find a loving home for her soon as I can feel the parting/the not knowing what to do is a huge pressure for you.

With luck and best wishes


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## BeauNoir

I'll be honest, I am looking at this from a dog viewpoint, what soda is doing is resource guarding against your deaf cat, the resource is attention from you. If you rehome the deaf cat (who as you say is the most clingy to you currently), the likelihood is she will then have got her way and will continue to guard you by attacking the other cats that want your attention too. Obviously I am not an expert in cat behaviour but that is just how the situation sounds to me.

There are certain cats that need one on one attention, the majority of cats I had growing up were cats that could be in a house with another, but couldn't deal with the other cat going near 'their' person. As there were never more than 3 cats and 4 people, it was okay, plenty of 1 on 1 time for each cat, as you say, you are 1 person and 5 cats, not so much 1 on 1 time for each of them.

Soda may be happier in a home where she is not having to compete with other cats for attention. My friend used to describe it as some cats are lions and like to live in a pack and some cats are tigers and go it alone. Maybe Soda is a tiger?

I am sorry I can't help by offering a home, I have a tiger of my own. :glare:


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## Paddypaws

What I will say, based on my own cat family, is that deaf cats can be rather difficult in a group situation. Millie just does not hear the verbal 'leave me alone' signals from my other young female Mitzy and there is often trouble between the two as a result.
TBH, Millie pushes her luck with all of the others, but the males seem less upset by her antics whereas Mitzy takes it more to heart.


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## newfiesmum

Brokenheartedbumpkin said:


> Does anyone have any advice?


I am just trying to get my head around this, but I am wondering why, after four years, she has suddenly changed. Are you quite sure that there is nothing that has happened to cause this? Anything at all, even a smell she doesn't like? Animals are strange creatures and like the earlier poster, I am a dog person, but I do know that one of my dogs, for no apparent reason, suddenly refused to go into the field where I used to walk him. No doubt he had his reasons, and perhaps your cat has them too.



Brokenheartedbumpkin said:


> Hi Jonescat
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to reply. I've emailed the behavourist tonight to ask her opinion, although she may not answer without my paying another consultation fee, which I just cannot afford right now. I'm going to post on Purrs in our Hearts right now but I realise just how rare and valuable good homes are right now. I'm trying to keep my cat out of a rescue so that they'll have space to take in truly desperate cases, but I don't want the fact that I'm a private advertiser to put people off.


I hate to say it if you have already spent a lot of money with this "behaviourist", but if she won't reply to an email without a fee, she is really not an animal lover and therefore not very good.

You could try Kelly-Joy on this forum from Animal Lifeline. She doesn't run a rescue but is very involved with rehoming cats and has a forum especially set up for that purpose. If you look at the member list, you will find her.

I wish you luck.


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## OrientalSlave

I feel for you - I rehomed one of my cats earlier this year as she was a bully, and in a house with just me there wasn't enough attention for her. She is flourishing in her new home, and gaily persecuting the local bunnies.

Don't rule out Gumtree or Preloved, but do screen whoever is wanting her carefully. The advice I had on my kittens was that people who have had the breed before and have lost cats are usually the best owners, so whilst she isn't a pedigree (so far as I know) people who have lost a cat would probably be a good choice for a new owner.

With my cat I had the support of a breed rescue to help rehome her, though she went straight from me to her new owner. I knew she really needed an outside home so I drove past his house one day, then I visited, and whilst the house is very scruffy and he has awful taste in art the location was ideal for her. When he visited he turned out to be a top-class cat magnet, as did his partner - she doesn't live with him but I was glad she came along. I had no hesitation letting her go, she has emailed me a few times since and it's clearly working so well - she is so happy with his undivided attention, and now she is going out the local wildlife keep her busy. I had turned down a home with a lovely woman previously as she lived near a busy road in Edinburgh and my cat was used to going out in an enclosed garden which she couldn't provide. This woman has since rehomed a cat from a friend and it's going swimmingly.

So, from my experiences, my advice would be to think about what sort of home would suit your cat, advertise as widely as you can both online and in local shops etc., and don't be afraid to turn down a home if it doesn't seem right. The first time I spoke to Steve on the phone it really felt bad, but when I met him in person it was fine. I've had the same experience with the home for one of my kittens - the initial text was brusque to say the least, but they are a lovely family in a great location with two very well behaved daughters.

BTW try to get everyone in the household to visit, and ask about other pets.


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## OrientalSlave

newfiesmum said:


> I am just trying to get my head around this, but I am wondering why, after four years, she has suddenly changed.
> <snip>QUOTE]
> 
> According to a well-known behaviourist cats reach social maturity at anything from 2 to 4 years old, and it could simply be that is what has happened with one or more of the cats in the household.


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## CaninoAnimalRescue

Hi,
Would you like me to.put her on our website for you? Or would Northampton be a bit too far? Best wishes x


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Sorry for the delay in replying, everyone. I've been on holiday. In my absence there were only two urine accidents, so I feel like that's a bit of an improvement. 

I'm going to go back and read everyone's messages now but I didn't want you all thinking I'd disappeared. I really appreciate you all taking the time to write.


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## Cheryl89

OrientalSlave said:


> I feel for you - I rehomed one of my cats earlier this year as she was a bully, and in a house with just me there wasn't enough attention for her. She is flourishing in her new home, and gaily persecuting the local bunnies.
> 
> Don't rule out Gumtree or Preloved, but do screen whoever is wanting her carefully. The advice I had on my kittens was that people who have had the breed before and have lost cats are usually the best owners, so whilst she isn't a pedigree (so far as I know) people who have lost a cat would probably be a good choice for a new owner.
> BTW try to get everyone in the household to visit, and ask about other pets.


I completely agree with this!!! If it wasn't for preloved I wouldn't of found my bestest friend Bugsy - Defo don't rule it out but do rule out the strange ones and do visits etc


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Paddypaws said:


> What I will say, based on my own cat family, is that deaf cats can be rather difficult in a group situation. Millie just does not hear the verbal 'leave me alone' signals from my other young female Mitzy and there is often trouble between the two as a result.
> TBH, Millie pushes her luck with all of the others, but the males seem less upset by her antics whereas Mitzy takes it more to heart.


This is so true. My deaf cat is not at all aggressive - the only threat from him is drowning in his excess slobber - but he is very affectionate and sometimes the others interpret his persistent licking as an irritation. A kick in the head usually puts him off through (a kick from the recipient cat, I hasten to add, not from me!).


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

CaninoAnimalRescue said:


> Hi,
> Would you like me to.put her on our website for you? Or would Northampton be a bit too far? Best wishes x


Northampton isn't too far, so that would be very helpful, thank you. If the poster who lived in Somerset were still interested I'd even drive to Somerset for her. I really mean it when I say home is of the utmost importance and logistics are almost irrelevant. If there's a good home, I'll get to it somehow.


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

newfiesmum said:


> I am just trying to get my head around this, but I am wondering why, after four years, she has suddenly changed. Are you quite sure that there is nothing that has happened to cause this? Anything at all, even a smell she doesn't like? Animals are strange creatures and like the earlier poster, I am a dog person, but I do know that one of my dogs, for no apparent reason, suddenly refused to go into the field where I used to walk him. No doubt he had his reasons, and perhaps your cat has them too.
> 
> I hate to say it if you have already spent a lot of money with this "behaviourist", but if she won't reply to an email without a fee, she is really not an animal lover and therefore not very good.


I didn't hear anything from the behaviourist at all. I hadn't spent that much, only £130, and she seemed nice and good at what she does, but I haven't even had a reply to say "I can't answer any questions without payment". I've double checked the email address and I definitely got it right. 

I can't say with 100% certainty that nothing has happened but I've been through all the things I can think of and can't find any changes. I haven't bought any new products (e.g. cleaning products, homeware, clothes etc) and nothing has changed in terms of my home set up. There are no new cats in the neighbourhood that I've seen (mine are all indoor but they can see out of the windows) and there's nothing unusual happening with the dog in the flat below. I've tried deliberately changing certain things to see if that makes a difference, such as tray location, feeding station location, litter type etc, but none of these seem to have made an impact. I don't doubt for a second that Soda has her reasons, it's just so hard for me to establish what that reason is. 

I currently work a lot from home but in the next couple of weeks I'll be doing the bulk of my hours outside of the house. I'm worried this might exacerbate the problem, especially if it's an attention-seeking one.


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

BeauNoir said:


> There are certain cats that need one on one attention, the majority of cats I had growing up were cats that could be in a house with another, but couldn't deal with the other cat going near 'their' person. As there were never more than 3 cats and 4 people, it was okay, plenty of 1 on 1 time for each cat, as you say, you are 1 person and 5 cats, not so much 1 on 1 time for each of them.
> 
> Soda may be happier in a home where she is not having to compete with other cats for attention. My friend used to describe it as some cats are lions and like to live in a pack and some cats are tigers and go it alone. Maybe Soda is a tiger?


There's a lot of truth to this. There's enough of me to keep up with the basic care of the animals - food, water, litter, play, cuddles - but none of them gets the attention I wish I had the capacity to give. It was manageable with the two of us but sometimes it does feel overwhelming now. Not that I ever struggle to care for them, but I struggle with the knowledge that they're not getting the "best" of me.


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## stateofflux

Hi,

I live in a two-bedroom flat in Norwich and I'm looking to adopt a cat. Are you still looking for a home for Soda? Since I work 9-5 I'd feel bad about just leaving a cat home alone so I'd be interested in her daughter too. Are they indoor cats at the moment?

I'm in my first home so I've never owned my own cat before but my mum has two (including one rescue who's had a few issues) so I've got experience of taking care of them and plenty of time at the evenings and weekends for play and cuddles.

If you are still looking for a home for her, maybe you could drop me a private message or something and we could discuss the details?


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## stateofflux

EDIT: Double-post, sorry! Thought it hadn't gone through at all!


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

I wasn't able to send a private message but left a visitor message on your page for you.


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## Lilylass

BeauNoir said:


> There are certain cats that need one on one attention, the majority of cats I had growing up were cats that could be in a house with another, but couldn't deal with the other cat going near 'their' person. As there were never more than 3 cats and 4 people, it was okay, plenty of 1 on 1 time for each cat, as you say, you are 1 person and 5 cats, not so much 1 on 1 time for each of them.


That's the same problem I had with Mia - there was just one of me & 3 of them vying for my attention

It did work initially - and they all had their own special time (Maisie is when we're out & about together, Mia in the evenings in the lounge and Archie at bedtime) but Mia got to the point where she didn't want Archie anywhere near me - the only change that I can put it down to, was the moving in of 2 new cats next door (she HATES other cats) which made her stress levels go through the roof

Best of luck, hope you find a lovely new home for her and you have my utmost sympathies, it's a horrible, horrible thing to have to go through xx


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

I'm just bumping this thread again. The poor little thing is distraught and now that I'm doing 12-hour days out of the house (and 4 hours at home when I get here) I haven't the physical or mental strength to go on much longer. She's peeing on my bed daily and I'm too tired to clean it during the week so we're all sleeping on urine until the weekend, when I'm able to change the sheets on Saturday and it starts up again on Sunday. It's not nice and it's not pleasant and the poor thing deserves more, as do the others. I love my animals to pieces but I'm losing the will to live here.


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## Lilylass

Just a wee bump up again for you, I feel your pain so much having been through something similar with Mia very recently (and I was very lucky to find someone I've known for most of my life to take her)...... 

Have you had any luck yet? 

How's she doing?


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Thanks, Lilylass. No improvement yet and no signs of a home on the horizon either. My poor girl.


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## Emma32

Oh I really feel for you 
I'd take her in a heartbeat but I have my boyfriends dogs here now who don't like other animals staying in the house for more than a day.
I'll keep my ears open for you, I really hope you can find a lovely home.


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## VioletIndigoSky

Hi Brokenheartedbumpkin,

Have you managed to find Soda and her daughter a new home yet?

We would be willing to offer a new home, but let me tell you a bit more about our situation, just so you can decide if we would be right for them both...

We live in Carmarthenshire, West Wales. I realise this is a long distance to travel, especially as we don't have transport, but would this be too far for you to drive?

We have a small cottage with an acre of wooded gardens, surrounded by fields of cattle, and backing onto a disused wooded quarry. The road is approx a 5 minute walk away down a private track, so the cats are safe in the garden and can explore a vast amount of territory safely. Our house:










Part of the garden (about 1/4):









We already have 9 cats, but what I am proposing is: would you allow Soda and her daughter to become outdoor cats, especially as she has a problem with her toileting?

6 of our cats are indoors-only, 3 by choice and 3 have never been let out as we used to live on a busy main road, so they don't have any 'outdoor-skills'. Here they are:

Mrs Kat, 16 year old tortie & white, was a stray who turned up in our garden 10 years ago and never left.
Safi, 6 year old black & white Siamese x, rescued as a 6 week old poorly kitten suffering from severe cat flu and pneumonia. We nursed and hand-reared her back to health.
Amelia, 4 year old tortie, adopted from a local rescue centre.
Olivia, 2 year old blue mackeral tabby & white Bengal x.
Lilith, 2 year old seal-point Traditional Siamese.
Florence, 2 year old spotted torbie Serengeti.










Our 3 outdoor cats live in a 10'x6' Bransby Bunny insulated cattery (it's very warm and cosy). They have access to the whole garden and also venture into the fields at the front and right side of our cottage. They have never wandered near to the road, so there must be enough space for them. Again, here they are:

Sheba, classic tabby of unknown age.
Pip, who is Sheba's son, 6 year old black who's starting to go grey. We rehomed them both in March and their story was that Sheba wandered into her previous owner's farmyard 6 years ago, with 3 kittens in tow. She led them through pouring rain into their hay barn, which they called their home until their owners needed to sell-up to retire. Which is when they come to live with us. Sheba was feral and so were her kittens, but her and Pip are the most affectionate, cuddly cats you could ever wish for - although still frightened of strangers.
Fluffy (no photo yet), 4 year old black longhaired (looks Norwegian Forest), we rehomed her 2 months ago, as she was attacking her owner's toddler, and she has slotted in perfectly with everyone.










...and here's the cattery:









We also have 5 dogs (all cat-friendly), 2 mini Shetland ponies, rabbits, guinea pigs and aviary birds.

The outdoor cats spend their days hunting rats and mice, climbing trees, sunbathing (when available!), and snoozing in their bed. When we're in the garden tending to the animals, it's cuddle time for them - Sheba in particular drapes herself over my shoulders. On cold/windy/rainy days they spend most of their time snuggled up in the cattery.

We did have a problem with a huge ginger tom coming into the garden in the Summer and beating up Sheba and Pip, but they eventually saw him off and we haven't seen him for about 3 months.

Overall, my cats are all extremely friendly, gentle and non-aggressive. They don't fight with each other at all.

Do you think Soda and her daughter would fit in?

One small problem is that's I've crushed my knee, so am very immobile at the moment. I should be out of my brace at my next hospital appointment - 19th November. So if you think we could be the right home, could you possibly keep Soda and her daughter until after then for us please? Or do they need to be rehomed urgently?

Many thanks, and I hope we can be of some help.

All the best,

Samantha & family.


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## Jansheff

I'm not rehoming a cat, but can I come and live there please!!???


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## VioletIndigoSky

Gets cold, wet and muddy in the winter here, as we're 150m above sea-level. When it snows we're basically stuck until it thaws out! That said, the cats seem to love it  Sheba, Pip and Fluffy love their daily wanders, playtime and snuggles in their cosy cattery. When it snows, Sheba and Pip are usually running around at lightening speed with cheery grins on their faces, or having a good roll! Just like little kiddies 

The cows in our access field do tend to churn up the track, so walking to the road to get the bus is a bit of a nightmare (we don't have a car). We have had to get the farmer out with his tractor a few times too, to pull out some silly delivery van who went a bit too far into the field and got stuck fast! 

So, whilst it is a lovely place, very pretty and very private, being so rural can have it's downsides regarding access.


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## Jonescat

Bless your heart VioletIndigoSky. I hope Brokenheartedbumpkin sees your post. It may be possible to arrange a transport run via the forum if BHP can't make the drive.

Fingers crossed.


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## VioletIndigoSky

Thank you  Obviously, we're hoping they already have found a lovely home, but we're here should they need it.

Also, I have to say I'm a massive fan of black and black and white cats - they have such great personalities and should never be overlooked for more 'prettily'-coloured cats.

Samantha


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Hi Samantha

Thanks for your messages - I've only just seen them so I'm sorry for the delay.

It's with a heavy heart that I have to say thank you for the offer, but it's not really suitable. Your home looks idyllic, and for a lot of cats it'd quite simply be a haven! But Soda, who (un)fortunately is still with me, is definitely a "pet", if you know what I mean? I don't think she would take to outdoor life at all. As it stands, she's never even been outside. I'm sure she would like the freedom to go out, if it were available, but at her very core she is a "people cat" and highly sociable. I think she'd be unhappy being around so many cats and too few people, especially if she were confined to outside. It's a shame, because I am still looking for a home and at my first my heart soared when I saw there was an offer on here, but I just don't think it'd be in her best interests, and it would certainly not be in Pixel's best interests (who is as timid as they come!). Pixel, the daughter, doesn't even necessarily have to go, it's just that it's a possibility if the new home were more interested in having two, to keep each other company. 

I know Soda has a toileting issue but I, 100%, hand on heart, firmly believe that it's circumstantial. I've not had a problem with her for the other five and a half years of her life (she turned six this week) and I genuinely think that she would not have a problem if she were removed from the stress of this house. She's a poppet in every way: likes to sit with you, doesn't claw furniture, very friendly, and I think what she really needs is a house with fewer animals and, preferably, more people. I'm really gutted that I have to say that, because you seem so kind and your home is amazing (and I'd have had no problem driving to Wales). It's just the set up isn't quite right. But thank you so much anyway, and to everyone else out there, I'm obviously still looking. :sad:


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## VioletIndigoSky

Hi,

Thank you so much for your reply.

Don't worry, I understand that you need to find the perfect home for Soda and Pixel.

My Sheba and Pip who are 100% outdoor cats are both very much well-loved pets. They don't come inside as they hunt day and night. That's how they have always lived and to coop them up would be unfair. Although they do have a feral background, they are fully domesticated now and receive plenty of attention from us - strokes, hugs/cuddles, chatting etc. They have a lovely cattery to call their home and are greeted in the morning, in the evening and whilst we attend to the outdoor pets (rabbits, guinea pigs, birds and ponies). So they see us throughout the day, every day. They have so much fuss, have the best food and care, and follow us everywhere. For example, since we adopted them in March, Sheba, who is very accident prone, has torn her tummy open twice, broken her leg and had an abscess on her paw, all which meant trips to the vets. Fortunately Pip has never been ill yet. So whilst they are essentially outdoor cats, they are proper spoilt pets too.

I really do hope you find the perfect home for Soda, with or without her daughter. If everything does fail and you can't cope anymore, before you make any decision to pts (and I understand it may be the last thing you could ever think of doing), as a last resort, please remember they have an offer of a home here.

All the best,

Samantha


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## rose

Brokenheartedbumpkin said:


> Hi Samantha
> 
> Thanks for your messages - I've only just seen them so I'm sorry for the delay.
> 
> It's with a heavy heart that I have to say thank you for the offer, but it's not really suitable. Your home looks idyllic, and for a lot of cats it'd quite simply be a haven! But Soda, who (un)fortunately is still with me, is definitely a "pet", if you know what I mean? I don't think she would take to outdoor life at all. As it stands, she's never even been outside. I'm sure she would like the freedom to go out, if it were available, but at her very core she is a "people cat" and highly sociable. I think she'd be unhappy being around so many cats and too few people, especially if she were confined to outside. It's a shame, because I am still looking for a home and at my first my heart soared when I saw there was an offer on here, but I just don't think it'd be in her best interests, and it would certainly not be in Pixel's best interests (who is as timid as they come!). Pixel, the daughter, doesn't even necessarily have to go, it's just that it's a possibility if the new home were more interested in having two, to keep each other company.
> 
> I know Soda has a toileting issue but I, 100%, hand on heart, firmly believe that it's circumstantial. I've not had a problem with her for the other five and a half years of her life (she turned six this week) and I genuinely think that she would not have a problem if she were removed from the stress of this house. She's a poppet in every way: likes to sit with you, doesn't claw furniture, very friendly, and I think what she really needs is a house with fewer animals and, preferably, more people. I'm really gutted that I have to say that, because you seem so kind and your home is amazing (and I'd have had no problem driving to Wales). It's just the set up isn't quite right. But thank you so much anyway, and to everyone else out there, I'm obviously still looking. :sad:


I am sorry to read this, I realise that it's none of my business but I don't think you are going to be inundated with offers of homes for your cats, I would imagine this home is about as perfect as you are going to get. No home is going to be as good as the one they have always known, but they are not being allowed to stay there and I can't see many other options. I would have a rethink before there are no more avenues for these poor girl (s)


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

On the contrary, Rose, I think plenty of homes would be as good as the one's she's always known. I don't hold myself up to be the exemplary pet owner, and cats can be very adaptable. However, you can't in all seriousness be saying the only chance of happiness this girl has got is to go with to go to a home which, lovely as it is, for this particular cat would be worse than her current situation? I'm not sure why Samantha brought up euthanasia or why you're saying "no more avenues", because I have never, would never, ever, EVER be taking that route for anything less than a terminal health issue. Soda is "allowed" to stay here. Soda could stay here forever! The problem is that she is not very happy. She's not happy because there are too many cats and only me to fuss over her. Samantha's home is lovely but it's just not right for this particular animal. Months and months this girl has been waiting for a good home and we'll wait months and months more, if need be. I really appreciate Samantha's kind offer, and for taking the time to provide so much detail so I can think it over properly, but it's just not the right environment. One of the reasons I've kept Soda out of a rescue is because I don't think she'd handle the pen environment very well and spacious though Samantha's cattery is, it's still a pen. It'd be an amazing space for the right kind of cat, like the semi ferals, but for a lap cat it's just not fair. I don't doubt, Samantha, that you look after your pets very, very well - I'm not doubting that at all - but you say yourself your two outdoor ones follow you everywhere. Soda would be the exact same way: and she'd be very distressed at having the front door closed on her: that's why it's not the right home.

I'm sorry if this message comes across a little pissy but I feel like I'm basically being told that my cat is either going to live in a pen or die. And if nothing else, both of which can be avoided by her staying right here, which she is more than welcome to do until somewhere appropriate turns up (and it will, someday). I don't know if you read back through the thread, Rose, but there was a message from someone looking for a cat that I contacted but unfortunately she never got back to me. So I'm not being unnecessarily picky, I'm just doing the best I can for the girl with all the knowledge of her personality that I have. This is a deeply, deeply frustrating problem and yes, I do have days when I feel like I've lost the will to live, but that's ME. MY will to live. Not Soda's. The cat is, always was and always will be perfectly safe and secure here, even if she doesn't like it much.


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## rose

Sorry, from the way the thread read it seemed you were looking for a home for a cat with toileting issues, which is always going to be difficult. It's bad enough if a cat you own has problems but not many people are likely to take on one with problems. There are thousands of cats that need rehoming, you have had an offer to home yours I just said I thought you ought to think about it as I don't think you will get many more offers. I was actually thinking of the cat, how much longer can you keep her if she is soiling in the house?


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

I can keep her forever. I don't care so much about the logistics of her problem, but the fact is she shouldn't be in a home where she is stressed. It's the stress that's behind this, nothing more, nothing less. If she didn't live in a flat with four other cats I could pretty much guarantee, hand on heart, that it wouldn't be a problem. And in the extremely unlikely event that it was, I'd take her back in a heartbeat so that I could get her into a more appropriate setting. I'm not trying to "offload" a problem cat for my sake; I'm trying to put a stressed cat into a happier home for her own.


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## rose

I wish you well in your search


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## VioletIndigoSky

I didn't mean to stir up any ill feeling. I apologise for this. I just know that however much people care for their pets, when they start soiling many do euthanise. I'm not saying that is definitely what you would do, but just in case, I only wanted you to know that if you ever do come to the end of your tether, then she would still have an offer of a home. 

Now you have said that you are willing to wait until the perfect home comes forward for her and that you are OK with the logistics of cleaning up after her, I have no doubt that you will continue to care for her until she can find a home where she'll be happier. Also, that you are willing to take her back if her potential new owner can't cope is great. She's a very lucky girl to have you x

Take care and all the very best in finding the lovely Soda a new home.

Love to Soda,

Samantha


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## Brokenheartedbumpkin

Just bumping this post in case any newcomers haven't seen it. Samantha, if things continue as they are I may need to contact you about your place, if it's still available? I stand by everything I said before and don't necessarily think that it's the best home for her, but if you'd be willing to look after her (and I'll pay) until we can find her a proper home, that might be something. She's on a few rescue waiting lists but knowing how long she'll be on the list is like knowing the length of a piece of string.


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## Lilylass

So sorry Soda's still looking for the right home 

(((hugs))) it's not easy xx


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