# Please apease my guilt - post puppy regret?



## vickij (Jan 29, 2008)

Am feeling guilty as hell - have had my puppy for just under 24 hours and although I love him already, I have already thought more than once or twice, "WHAT HAVE I DONE"!!

Toilet training tough.

Won't be crated without crying and moaning.

And the worst of all he really doesn't like the children - he loves my hubby and I but every time the children go near him he shys away.

He is being such a good dog...and yet if the breeder called me up right now and told me she would have him back I would drive there and drop him off.

Want to cry.


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## Leah84 (Jun 22, 2009)

stick in there, it will get better in time and there`s no way a puppy will be toilet trained in such a short time. i can take anything from a few days to months (trust me mine is 7 months and due to my oh tellign her off she`s still not trained)

keep her in the crate and ignore her if he cries, if you let him out or make a fuss of him he`ll think you`re rewarding his behaviour

oh and try feeding his food out of your hand and the kids do the same, that should get him used to you


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

It's very early days, he's going to take a good while to settle in, please don't give up there are plenty of other people on here who are in or have been in the same boat
V xx


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## JSR (Jan 2, 2009)

Everyone goes through this, every single time I add a new dog to the pack I have days of 'OMG what have I done'. Then a week on and I've forgotten I've got a new dog and it's all fun and happy again.

Think about this. If your kids were approached face on by some strange gargling monster who is all hands (and not gentle hands) and noise wouldn't they back off? This is how your puppy see's your children, you and your hubby know how gentle to be with a puppy children do not know, they need to be taught how to approach and handle the pup. 


Were your children ready toilet trained as babies?

Did your babies fall asleep instantly in their cots and not bleat or cry?

Believe me if you can bring up kids then a puppy is a walk in the park. Bloody hell I'd rather have 100 puppies than one baby in my house. 

Stop panicking, forget about the bad stuff and just enjoy your puppy.


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## sketch (Sep 19, 2009)

My first 24 hours, Dalton bit me, chased the cat, tore the bottom of my jeans, bit me again, pee on the floor, whilst i was cleaning that he did a poop, growled at me, then fell asleep.
He is nearly 16 months old now, and still alive whoop whoop.
Keep at it, it does get better honestly
xx


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

vickij said:


> Am feeling guilty as hell - have had my puppy for just under 24 hours and although I love him already, I have already thought more than once or twice, "WHAT HAVE I DONE"!!
> 
> Toilet training tough.
> 
> ...


*Ok don't panic its so soon since you got your new baby trust me when i say, things will only get better.You say he won't be crated,i say, yes he will honestly.Some might not agree with me but i know my way works for me and i know it WILL work for you.You have children yeah? ok when they were newborn did you run to them everytime they cried? i'm guessing perhaps at 1st.lol but then kids learn if they cry you come running.The same with baby's of the four legged kind.I got 2 pups almost 2 years ago,Kai was my 1st and he cried the 1st night but all i did was called down to him " Kai enough",after that i ignored him.same thing the next night but he was fine.And yes he was in a crate which i've never used for a dog or puppy before in my life.Ignore the puppy and you will find he will settle down just fine.*


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## xxwelshcrazyxx (Jul 3, 2009)

Aww it is still early days and you are bound to feel like that at some point, but he is still a little baby and everything is new to him, I have a Chihuahua who used to cower now and again, it is because the movements are too quick for him and he is a little bit timid, he will get used to it. You have to give it time. It is like having a new born baby or a toddler. Everything will come together dont worry. If your children sit on the floor and let the puppy come to them and approach the puppy very slowly, dont forget everyone is a giant compared to the puppy, he have to look up at everything and everyone so is have to be scarey for him too.


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## Polimba (Nov 23, 2009)

Oh I know that feeling soooo well  I'd never had a dog, my H is the dog person, we'd had our puppy 2 days and he had to go away for three weeks. I was crying hysterically to friends, my husband, my MIL, it was really awful and if someone had knocked at my door and wanted him I would happily have passed him over! My husband actually rang the breeder to ask if we could take him back, he was that distressed by my crying. It was made worse by my mum having an accident and I needed to spend a lot of time with my elderly father, so my time was really short and I was very tired and emotional.

BUT....it's four weeks on and it's so much easier and I love him to bits. Things do start to fall into place. At first it's all new and unsettling, then you gradually get into a routine and he will start listening to you, if you are patient and consistent with training.

I used to hate people coming to the house and cooing and 'aww he's so sweet'. I'd be thinking no he's a little ****, you try having him for a few hours lol MY turning point was a puppy party of the vet's when I realised it was actually quite normal to feel like that (as we all rocked in our chairs :crying.

Honestly it does get much easier in no time at all. I was where you are four weeks ago, now I'm loving our puppy and he's a joy to be around...well most of the time :wink:


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## Plabebob (Nov 30, 2009)

sketch said:


> My first 24 hours, Dalton bit me, chased the cat, tore the bottom of my jeans, bit me again, pee on the floor, whilst i was cleaning that he did a poop, growled at me, then fell asleep.
> He is nearly 16 months old now, and still alive whoop whoop.
> Keep at it, it does get better honestly
> xx


Lol, sounds like a great first day!


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## sarybeagle (Nov 4, 2009)

JSR said:


> Everyone goes through this, every single time I add a new dog to the pack I have days of 'OMG what have I done'. Then a week on and I've forgotten I've got a new dog and it's all fun and happy again.
> 
> Think about this. If your kids were approached face on by some strange gargling monster who is all hands (and not gentle hands) and noise wouldn't they back off? This is how your puppy see's your children, you and your hubby know how gentle to be with a puppy children do not know, they need to be taught how to approach and handle the pup.
> 
> ...


Totally agree with this post. I think everyone has a omg what have I dont to our lives moments when you first bring puppy home. I remember ringing my friend in tears as I needed to pop out for loo roll and puppy howling when I walked out the room-I blame the broken sleep for losing the plot lol.

Now I cant imagine life without her in it.  yes we are still toilet training but after great advice from the training forum we have had no accidents for a few days and if we do its our fault for not getting to her quick enough as she goes by the patio door.

My beagle and my son (11) are now inseperable when he gets in from school and im sure your kids and your puppy will grow up the same.

Also Bellas first 3 nights I had her in the kitchen crated and she would whine and cry when we left her after letting her out in the middle of the night but then I moved her crate to our living room and she hasnt cried since.  I think she just felt out on her own even though in room next door.

Also (again) she bite all the time and I was beginning to go gre with nerves thinking we had ruined a lovely pup but she is almost 100% bite free now. It just takes a lot of perseverance (sp) and continuatity.

Im sure you will be posting in a few weeks and this will all be a distant memory xxx


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## sketch (Sep 19, 2009)

Plabebob said:


> Lol, sounds like a great first day!


He was a right little demon, snarl and come towards you, i was like "what the hell i have brought", i regretted it for a while, but didnt know what to do.
I thought it was all normal, and ride the storm haha, he stopped mouthing at 4-5 months, but i still have the battle scars to prove it
xx


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## PoisonGirl (Oct 24, 2008)

You need to make a routine.

Your puppy WILL need to pee Immediately after a sleep, and after Any sort of exitement (playing, family member coming in etc) and about 15 min after eating or drinking.
When puppy is awake pop the lead on and go into the garden every 20 mins to half an hour- going out too many times and puppy not doing a wee is Far better than an accident. Don't forget to give Heaps of praise for toileting outside.

NEVER open the crate while puppy is noisy- it Will create a bad haibit - UNLESS you want to teach puppy to ask to wee- in which case as soon as puppy makes a noise, pop lead on, go into garden, PRAISE for weeing then back into crate.
The INSTANT puppy is quiet calmly open crate.

Feed puppy in the crate to create positive feeiling towards the crate. Make sure there is a tasty treat in ther when puppy goes in so that something good happens for being in there.


Get your kids to sit on the floor quietly (might be hard!) and let puppy wander around. If you feel confident enough to, let the kids have a few bits of dried food (anything tooo tasty smelling could make puppy grab). Discourage the children from making sudden movements or loud noises around puppy.


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## dagny0823 (Oct 20, 2009)

sketch said:


> My first 24 hours, Dalton bit me, chased the cat, tore the bottom of my jeans, bit me again, pee on the floor, whilst i was cleaning that he did a poop, growled at me, then fell asleep.
> He is nearly 16 months old now, and still alive whoop whoop.
> Keep at it, it does get better honestly
> xx


OMG that made me laugh so hard. Not mocking your misery but it's like a comedy sketch. It's why puppies are so cute---otherwise we'd kill them right away


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## alaun (Jul 21, 2009)

Puppies are hard work. They are just like having children, except you can't explain or ask why are they doing that? Read as much as you can that will help with training and reading your dogs signals - it will help you to communicate with each other.
It will take a long time for things to settle down, and I'm afraid the week before Xmas isn't the best time to get a new pup. Try to keep things as calm as possible and get into a routine as soon as you can. Your pup has just been taken from the litter and mum etc so it will be nervous and sad for a short while. Use a crate where it can feel safe and have a sanctuary that is away from your children - they must not be allowed in! 
It can be very stressful having a canine delinquent in the house and I think we have all felt like this at some point. Good luck and remember it won't always be like this, with lots of effort from all the family, you will end up with a lovely furry family member.


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## SEVEN_PETS (Aug 11, 2009)

Routine, routine, routine. It is the best thing to drill into a puppy (not literally ). Toilet training can take months or they can get it straight away. Be consistent and after a week, you will really see progress. 

Are the children loud around him or make any sudden movements? After a wek or so of being with the children, he'll get more confident.


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## sarybeagle (Nov 4, 2009)

Again totally agree with PP re routines. I found getting up an hour before everyone else I could walk her, feed her and fit in some training before the chaos in the morning would sweep her away lol. Then she would settle for a sleep just as we are all leaving and be sleeping until I get in from work at 12 ready for fun in the afternoon. 

She now sits on the sofa by the window from 330 waiting for my son to come home lol. And also Feeding her at set times I could more or less set my watch by when she would need a wee/poo and this lessoned the accidents we had. xx


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

vickij said:


> Am feeling guilty as hell - have had my puppy for just under 24 hours and although I love him already, I have already thought more than once or twice, "WHAT HAVE I DONE"!!
> 
> Toilet training tough.
> 
> ...


If i had a penny for every time i said "oh my god what have i done" i would be a very rich lady and ive done it 3 times so that says in its self that it does get better, i have never known anything as hard work as puppies and i have had 2 children and they dont come near to the hard work of a puppy. all i can say is hold on there keep coming on here when you want a rant or a moan we will all listen to you and before long you will be coming on with how wonderfull your puppy is, believe me.

What i will say is put boundaries in place and stick to them and never do once that you will not want to do for ever and ever and dont let your puppy do once and get away with that you wont want him to do for ever and ever either. Good luck you will get there stay in touch. XX


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## sketch (Sep 19, 2009)

dagny0823 said:


> OMG that made me laugh so hard. Not mocking your misery but it's like a comedy sketch. It's why puppies are so cute---otherwise we'd kill them right away


I laugh now too, my whole life is like a comedy sketch im afraid, i have all my firends in stitches, and i dont even try, i just have a mad life haha.
Dalton was the worst puppy i have had, but grown into such a well mannered handsome lad, not much of the evil streak left now thankfully.
But atleast it gives the OP hope haha
xx


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## momentofmadness (Jul 19, 2008)

Please sit tight and try and get him a routine.. Give it a couple of weeks and you will be fed up of telling him and the kids to stop causing havoc.. I take it he wasn't in a family before you got him... I was lucky I have 2 small boys and cats and my pups were used to everything before they left me.. 
He is probably very frightened at the minute missing his mummy...


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## lisa.asil (Dec 2, 2009)

vickij said:


> Am feeling guilty as hell - have had my puppy for just under 24 hours and although I love him already, I have already thought more than once or twice, "WHAT HAVE I DONE"!!
> 
> Toilet training tough.
> 
> ...


Don't feel guilty! It's totally natural to feel like that. Puppies are mega hard work and it is totally overwhelming to start off with (i know, I got my puppy just over 3 weeks ago). Also, don't be too hard on yourself or expect too much so soon. It will take a lot of hard work and commitment but when things start to go to plan, it's sooooo worth it!

I'd recommend feeding your pup in the crate the for a few meals so that he associates the crate with good things and also sitting by the crate while he's in it for ten minutes or so before leaving him for a few minutes.

Please don't give up x


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

vickij said:


> Am feeling guilty as hell - have had my puppy for just under 24 hours and although I love him already, I have already thought more than once or twice, "WHAT HAVE I DONE"!!
> 
> Toilet training tough.
> 
> ...


Perhaps you should consider both of your options a little more? Either have some understanding of your pup or give it away to someone who does. Your pup is facing new people, new places, new rules, new smells, and all this on his own without familiar friends or comforts. He's feeling vulnerable and the thing he needs most is to feel safe.


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## Guest (Dec 21, 2009)

You are probably just experiencing the "puppy blues" a bit like "baby blues", i'm sure when the puppy settles and starts getting in the swing of toilet training and gets used to his new surroundings then you will grow to love him, it just takes time. All the best xxx


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## RachyBobs (Oct 18, 2009)

Stick at it, it will all the worth it in the end!!

As for the children, are they young? Maybe hes worried by them as children can be quite boisturus and forward going, being a small puppy of his age hes maybe a bit warey and scared of them. Not all puppies are forward going. xx

-Good Luck


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## dagny0823 (Oct 20, 2009)

sketch said:


> I laugh now too, my whole life is like a comedy sketch im afraid, i have all my firends in stitches, and i dont even try, i just have a mad life haha.


Ha ha, I know that feeling.



sketch said:


> Dalton was the worst puppy i have had, but grown into such a well mannered handsome lad, not much of the evil streak left now thankfully.
> But atleast it gives the OP hope haha
> xx


Exactly. This refresher is helping me too. It's been a few years since I had to house break a puppy--my 9 yo came housebroken already--and it looks like we're getting a new pup in February, so this is useful. My bf has never had a puppy either, so this reinforces things for him that I'm telling him.


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## sketch (Sep 19, 2009)

dagny0823 said:


> Ha ha, I know that feeling.
> 
> Exactly. This refresher is helping me too. It's been a few years since I had to house break a puppy--my 9 yo came housebroken already--and it looks like we're getting a new pup in February, so this is useful. My bf has never had a puppy either, so this reinforces things for him that I'm telling him.


I have 3 puppies, and im still alive so try not to worry, it ok, you will be fine.
Dalton was the worst, real bad attitude, willfull, pig headed and wouldnt do anything unless it was worth it.
Kane wasnt to bad at all, pretty nice pup, very excutable.
Libby is nervous but did mouth almost as much as Dalton, but not as savage, and she didnt hurt as much haha
xx


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## katiefranke (Oct 6, 2008)

Most puppies do tend to be little beasts when you first get them - even if you have had puppies before you think "I am sure it wasn't as bad as this!" lol!!

Maggie was a little biter - that was the worst thing! The second day we had her she jumped at me, bit me on the end of the nose, made me cry in pain cos it caught me right on the end in my nostril, chased my kittens, nipped all round the backs of my legs every time I moved, ripped my jogging bottoms by the 4th day, howled through the first couple of nights...the list goes on!! 

At this point, having had about 30 mins sleep in 3 days I was literally at the OMG what have I done!!! stage...

Then I thought, "get a grip", this is a baby, she doesn't know this is wrong, she isn't evil or doing it to upset me, she needs to know the boundaries, the house rules so to speak! And I started to calm down!

It gets better, honest  take a deep breath, decide what you want to do, i.e. get her to like the crate, and have a read on the best way to do it, or post on here for advice, then set about calmly teaching it.

The best thing I had was a baby pen that I cornered off part of the room with that I put maggie in (our current pup) when she (or I!) needed a time out. This gave me time to think and to stop her being naughty - and for me to be able to calm down if I was getting too worked up about it all! This was a life saver, and it wasn't long before she calmed right down and started to fit into our routine...now she is my lovely baby and very well behaved.


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## Leah84 (Jun 22, 2009)

lol everytime i get an animal i have serious doubts. before i get it i`m all like ' arghhh maybe this is the worst idea i ever had' then after i`m like 'stupid i should never have got this animal' but normally it works out great. i`m getting a beagle next year and i bet i do exactly the same lol


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## Plabebob (Nov 30, 2009)

Argh you're making me nervous! I just want to make a good home for the pup, hope it's ok! At least I'm home for ages with boyf & 2 brothers to help!


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## mitch4 (Oct 31, 2009)

Sketch your puppy tale made me laugh. dalton sounds great

Even having had many dogs as pups, you still get those Grrrrrrrrr OMG Days and think, no never again adult dogs for me all the way now hee hee  and we are expecting possibly 7 little pups from molly in a house hold of 5 dogs, yes we are mad, but really the OMG Days are so rare and normally when I am stressed about something else. The wonderful days are there 99.99999% of the time and we all have days that we dont want to be around anyone, Iv divorced my hubby several times now, lol lol in my mind that is  but those are the rotten days, many days Id love to renew my vowes :001_tt1: 

So stick with it and you will fall head long in love with this puppy, how you are feeling isnt bad, just you are shell shocked at the chaos a puppy can bring with it but it also brings a whole heap of love

Good Luck :001_tt1:


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## sketch (Sep 19, 2009)

mitch4 said:


> Sketch your puppy tale made me laugh. dalton sounds great
> 
> Even having had many dogs as pups, you still get those Grrrrrrrrr OMG Days and think, no never again adult dogs for me all the way now hee hee  and we are expecting possibly 7 little pups from molly in a house hold of 5 dogs, yes we are mad, but really the OMG Days are so rare and normally when I am stressed about something else. The wonderful days are there 99.99999% of the time and we all have days that we dont want to be around anyone, Iv divorced my hubby several times now, lol lol in my mind that is  but those are the rotten days, many days Id love to renew my vowes :001_tt1:
> 
> ...


I swear its the truth Dalton was the demon from hell, i was like OMG what have i brought, the first 24 hours, i was in a state of shock.
Since i have many more tales, again true but not as viscious haha
xx


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## mitch4 (Oct 31, 2009)

Our Jasper was a nightmare puppy, bounced everywhere he never walked ran and bounced, hated his head being stroked, fought to not have his collar on, pounced on you at every opportunity, never hardly slept, manic beyond beleif. Chewed everything in site including hands feet and a window sill, chair 2 sofas a tv cabinet and computer table. Urchin did all this damage in 3 hrs when he escaped the baby gate, clip of handle not clicked down and door must have sprung open . 
I returned to see him happily waiting to greet me all full of love :001_tt1: in a sea of scratched and chewed CD's and furniture bits, I just was in so much shock, I didnt say a word just got down to clearing it all up :crying: He is now the sweetes dog you could ever own and all who meet him want to take him home, he was a pain until about 5 months old and he started to really calm down 
So there is hope


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## sketch (Sep 19, 2009)

I am lucky none of mine are chewers haha, but they did everything else.
oh the joys...But one look from puppy eyes and you just cant help but love them
xx


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## happysaz133 (Jun 5, 2008)

It's very natural to feel this way, I'm sure all of us dog owners have done at some point!


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## Debi (Feb 1, 2009)

when we got millie she cried for 3 nights in her crate (we were expecting the neighbours to complain) then she was fine. she was very quick to toilet train but couldn't last overnight until she was about 6 months old (had to get up at 2am). she was a chewer though and even managed to pull up some of the flooring!!! max was completely different, couldn't get to grips with not peeing and pooing everywhere inside but he could last overnight!! he has chewed the door frames and some of the wall but the floor is safe. with both of them we went through the OMG i can't cope stage but i wouldn't do without either of them now.


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## alysonandhedley (Oct 29, 2009)

Hedley isnt 4 months yet, but its getting easier already. We have a crate and he was never much bother in that, the first couple of nights we did hear a bit of whinging, at first we had the crate in the kitchen, but when it was put in the lounge, he settled better. Getting the food right was the big thing for us, once we found something that suited him the toilet training has been easier. He does still have an accident in the house, but its usually when were not watching him because we are preoccupied (we have 4 children). The kids on the whole love him but have moments when they are fed up of him chasing the bottom of their jeans or picking up their toys or chasing them if they run in the house. Our youngest is 14 months our oldest 7. But I didnt get the pup for them I got him for me and he has fitted the bill perfectly. :001_tt1: It is definitely easier than having another baby, and I believe Im qualified to say that with 4 in the house. They progress much quicker than babies, I cant believe the amount of progress we have made in our first few weeks. 

You'll be fine


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## wooliewoo (May 27, 2008)

Oh bless ya......been there done that springs to mind especially at some stupid hour in the middle of night!!!! As everyone has said it does get better.

With the children you didnt mention the age. Kids do make alot of high pitch noises and very excitable which could be daunting for a young pup. Get them to sit quietly on floor (no noise or sudden movements)and let pup go to them , wont be long and pup will soon realise these little folk are the ones who have all the nice "treats" and cant resist giving them to pup

Remember what time you put in now will be rewarded later when you have a great family pet


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## thedeans (Apr 8, 2009)

as so many have already said - we have all been through this at some time
Having a new addition in your home takes time to get used to - you don't know his routine and vice-versa
Its also I found very easy to beat yourself up thinking "I'm not good enough" believe me you are and he/she will love you whatever you do - its unconditional
Your pup will mess, bark, chew, bite etc its what they do - with time, patience and some training before you know it you will have a smashing dog in your home
After reading this I suddenly realised that mine haven't messed in the house during the day for quite some time they are 18mths old - so it doesn't last forever but it doesn't stop over night either


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## Elmo the Bear (Oct 3, 2008)

vickij said:


> and although I love him already, I have already thought more than once or twice, "WHAT HAVE I DONE"!!


Everytime Elmo drops his handbag in an enclosed space I think the same... and he's been here two years hmy:

Tiredness and frustration will make you feel that way but it will pass.... just buy some really good air freshener now, it'll save you the trouble later


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## RockRomantic (Apr 29, 2009)

i feel the same at the moment about my puppy, but like people saidit's tiredness and frustration, give it time and it'll be worth it!


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## LostGirl (Jan 16, 2009)

I think everyone does i know we did with Zeb and then when we got Bear it was like OMG!

But we were the same with kids and they are still here 4 and 5yrs later


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## Plabebob (Nov 30, 2009)

Daynna said:


> I think everyone does i know we did with Zeb and then when we got Bear it was like OMG!
> *
> But we were the same with kids and they are still here 4 and 5yrs later*


Why how charitable of you!


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## LostGirl (Jan 16, 2009)

Plabebob said:


> Why how charitable of you!


Why i know! , wouldnt swap them for all the tea in china either


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## gemcml (Aug 15, 2011)

I am feeling this BIG time!!! :-( 

I have just bought a puppy to join our family home. He is 9 weeks old. We have only had him for 4 days, I have had my ups and downs since bringing him home and have often thought "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE!?" but a part of me has said it's ok it will get better. But today I have reached the extent of "oh my god what have i done!?" to the point of considering rehoming him :-(
I feel so guilty and so emotional!

First off, I am really struggling with paper training him. I keep catching him weeing all over the place and have of course lost count of how many times i have had to pick him up in the middle of doing a wee and put him on the paper. It feels like a hundred times a day!
Yesterday i was so happy and relieved when he did a poo on the paper. I gave him a treat and lots of praise and soon after he went back on the paper to do a wee. I was SOOOOO happy and gave him loads of praise and a treat again and thought "YES! Things are getting better" ... Then before going to bed i noticed that he had done a poo on a play mat of my daughters. Needless to say it was disappointing but i thought well it is a mat so he probably has just confused it for a pee pad so just cleaned it up and thought maybe it is still progress.

But then first thing this morning i noticed he had weed on my bed!!! (I didn't tell him off! amazingly since i only washed the covers yesterday!) Then after that i stepped in poo on my way to the bathroom  (still amazingly again i didn't tell him off!) and have just tried to be more vigilant with his peeing and pooing and keep picking him up and putting him on the paper and still he continues to do it anywhere but the paper!!! 

He had a long sleep earlier and i knew when he woke up he would obviously do a wee, so i kept him in the kitchen and wouldn't let him out until he did a wee on the paper. If he did it then he's reward would have been lots of praise and he's freedom to come out the room and roam around the house. Unfortunately, after guarding the door for 20 minutes, having him trying to escape and having to keep picking him up and putting him on the paper he eventually couldn't hold it no more and squatted down right in front of me and did a wee on the floor! I picked him up put him on the paper but it was too late AGAIN! I then left him locked in the room taking away he's reward of freedom.
I have no idea if i did the right thing!? But he didn't seem bothered by being locked away anyway. He just went and laid down. About 20 minutes later i opened the door, didn't show him any acknowledgment when i went in. 

5 minutes later he came out and went and did a wee on my sons bedroom floor :cursing:

I feel terrible for thinking about rehoming him! Then i had a friend come over earlier and see the puppy and said to me "omg what have you done?" (not knowing this was already my exact thoughts!) Now I feel 10 times worse to have someone else say it to me! :-( 
I'm really struggling to find the time and patience with trying to potty train a puppy and take care of 3 children as well!
So far other than the trouble I've had with potty training he has been pretty good. The only other problem I have had with him is biting as puppies do. But i discovered if when he bites i suddenly make a loud noise like a yelp he will stop, so will get my two elder kids to do the same. However, my youngest is under 2 so i can hardly tell her to do this!!!!!!!! I have tried putting a hand sanitizer on her hands so he won't like the taste. But this hasn't helped.

The good news is that when he has been left in the house unattended he hasn't suffered with anxiety problems and destroyed our home!  He just goes and lays down until we return which is great! - if it stays that way! 

It has only been 4 days and is just the start! Already i honestly have no idea if i can handle this and have no idea what to do :crying:


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## portiaa (Dec 10, 2010)

Gemcml- I'm sorry you feel like this, if you start a new thread mentioning your problems (e.g nipping, toilet training) I'm sure lots of people will be able to help!


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2011)

gemcml said:


> I am feeling this BIG time!!! :-(
> 
> I have just bought a puppy to join our family home. He is 9 weeks old. We have only had him for 4 days, I have had my ups and downs since bringing him home and have often thought "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE!?" but a part of me has said it's ok it will get better. But today I have reached the extent of "oh my god what have i done!?" to the point of considering rehoming him :-(
> I feel so guilty and so emotional!
> ...


know we have all been there, but my gosh its worth it in the end... i had 3 weeks of no sleep with the latest puppy and toilet training well lets just say that took about 3 months all in all... but now i have a dog i can leave and know everything will be fine when i get home, the love they show me as an owner... makes me forget those first few weeks of hell........ believe me stick to it... it wont take long and i couldnt be without my two boys now xx


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## LolaBoo (May 31, 2011)

Ive never regretted getting lola 

But omg it was hard work, somedays id be so knackered by end of day id just cry

Me and OH were constantly arguing

BUT.....it is all worth it in end lola is 15 weeks now and those first 5/6 weeks we had her and all the hard work seem a blur now

You will get thro all this stick with it i remember times of sitting nxt to a wee mat for ages untill she would go watching her constantly waiting to see if she would squat for a wee or poo

You will eventally know her signs of when she wants to go 

It just takes time to adjust for both her and you 

it will deffo all be worth it in end 

Good luck 

And there is always someone about to offer advise


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## Werehorse (Jul 14, 2010)

Toilet training takes months and months, not days! Bite inhibition also takes time. Keep working on them and it'll be fine - give up, and it won't.

I would reccommend training the puppy to go outside from the very start, take them outside every 20-30 minutes, and after they wake up, after they have played, a bit after they have eaten (basically all the time) and praise loads when they get it right. Also DON'T pick them up to take them to where they should go, interrupt the wee/poo then make them follow you outside to finish off -that way they learn how to get there. If you pick them up they don';t really learn anything expect that they get picked up when they wee and put somewhere else.

What you have taken on isn't easy. I had post-puppy depression when we got Oscar. But it does get better, not in days or weeks though - months!


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## WeimyLady (Jan 3, 2010)

gemcml said:


> I am feeling this BIG time!!! :-(
> 
> I have just bought a puppy to join our family home. He is 9 weeks old. We have only had him for 4 days, I have had my ups and downs since bringing him home and have often thought "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE!?" but a part of me has said it's ok it will get better. But today I have reached the extent of "oh my god what have i done!?" to the point of considering rehoming him :-(
> I feel so guilty and so emotional!
> ...


If it makes you feel any better, I've had various dogs over the years. When I got my Weimaraner bitch puppy a couple of years ago, I spent the first night I bought her home being sick (literally) wondering what I had done. She was barking, whining, never sleeping, pooing runny slop everywhere and weeing every few minutes. For the first few weeks I was genuinely considering taking her back to the breeder and having my easy life back. I felt HORRIBLE for feeling that way, but I could not help it. She had thrown my relatively peaceful life into utter chaos and as the change was literally overnight, I seriously struggled at first. When you get a new puppy you do not really have a chance beforehand to adjust, which is perhaps why it hits you hard.

Anyway, I'm not going to pretend puppyhood was particularly rosy because it was not. But now, as naughty as she is, she is a lovely dog and I would not part with her for anything.

It might take weeks, it might take months, but one day your feelings now will be a distant memory. I can look back at those awful days and laugh now.

Give your pup a chance at least. You WILL regret any rash decisions, that I assure you!


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## gemcml (Aug 15, 2011)

Thank you for your support!

I felt awful at the time and thought if people knew what i was thinking they would judge me. It makes me feel better to know that it is natural to feel these things. 

I think I was just feeling very overwhelmed at the time and once i wrote it all down and had a bit of a rant i started to feel much more positive again  

He is really hard work but I do love him to bits. I know in time he will become an amazing family dog. As much as i did think for a while about rehoming him i would forever hate the thought of him being an amazing family dog for another family! lol  so i obviously know he is capable. Question is am I? But I will try my best and try not to get so frustrated in future!


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## Maiisiku (Feb 20, 2009)

When I got Yuri it was hard to start with but I got there at 4 months he was finally going though the night. However I struggled with Aya, her previous owner never bothered. Sometimes she howls at 1am to be let out. It's not often but it does happen and it makes me grumpy the next day and she is 9 months now. I've had her for 4 months. She has come a long way and it can be a tough road but I wouldn't be with out my pack.


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## LexiLou2 (Mar 15, 2011)

Just a couple of things, while you are trying to toilet train him you may find it easier to restrict where he is allowed to go, when we first got Lexi she was only allowed in the kitchen and dining room as it had solid floor, eventually 6 weeks later she was allowed in the living room when I could trust her a bit more. As a tiny pup they will want to wee probably every half hour, so it is constant.
Have you thought about crate training, I was so against it when I got Lexi but it was a god send and both mine love their crates now.
Also with the nipping try, I didn't go with the squeal method. If you squeak a squeaky toy it sounds similar to a human squeal so I was told they can get confused.
I just used to give her a toy to chew instead or if she got really bad, she used to get time out.
It is worth it all in the end.


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## Werehorse (Jul 14, 2010)

I found just standing up and walking away as soon as I felt teeth worked on Oscar to stop the nipping. No squeal, no fuss, just not engaging with the behaviour at all. And also puppy time outs when it was all getting a bit constant - it gets worse when they are tired so popping them in their crate for a sleep is good idea when they get all bitey.


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## 5rivers79 (Mar 28, 2011)

gemcml said:


> I am feeling this BIG time!!! :-(
> 
> I have just bought a puppy to join our family home. He is 9 weeks old. We have only had him for 4 days, I have had my ups and downs since bringing him home and have often thought "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE!?" but a part of me has said it's ok it will get better. But today I have reached the extent of "oh my god what have i done!?" to the point of considering rehoming him :-(
> I feel so guilty and so emotional!
> ...


Would be interesting to know if any guys on here feel the same way when getting a pup or is it just the ladies??

I never felt this way one bit when i got Sammy..infact it was a joy to train him..and yes he did wee inside and even the occassional poop..twice on his first night with us lol

Anyway pups arent born toilet trained so wont know what the fuss is about..babies arent toilet trained either so we put a nappy on them.

Its a little different with pups..they figure out what you want from them pretty quick. Dont train him to poo and wee in the kitchen..its inside the house so he'l wonder why he is not allowed to wee and poo anywhere else in the house.

Take him to your garden every 30 mins while he is awake during the day...and straight after a nap, meal and playtime. Put a little lead on him and stand with him till he does his business. When you do go into the garden with him make sure you dont play with him till his pooped or wee'd then praise/treat/play.

Take him out once before bed time and then once or twice during the night. Maybe even wake him up then take him outside wait till he poops or wee's and then bring him back in and back to bed.

Sammy got the hang of it and only wee'd inside when i made the mistake of taking too long to take him outside. Honestly its not difficult and weeing and pooing is never a reason to think omg what have i done...


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## Meowwoof (Jul 27, 2011)

Sorry im a girl and i to felt the same. First 24 hours were like "omg i have a dog, now what" then that turned into "Omg its pissing on my carpets, damn, wish i had spent more time thinking about this" with a bit of "Stop tourmenting my cats! They were here first! Sorry cats, i still love you" Now - two weeks in, i love her to bits, cant wait to start taking her for walks, toilet training is getting there, ive got tonnes of useful info off this forum AND the cats are happy  

The way i see it is like this, you have a puppy, like a baby, it needs loving and teaching. Roll with the punches. Carpets can be cleaned, Cats will get over it  x


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## lucyandsandy (Apr 7, 2011)

Totally agree with everyone else, I think we have all gone through the OMG what have I done phase! By day three I was thinking I could call the breeder and give her back but it was tirdness talking! It was like having a new baby and hard work!!
After week two I think I was wondering what I was moaning about, now at 7 months she sleeps well and is housetrained which I think are the two main things that get too people.
It will get easier, but only if you perservere with whatever training you have decided to do


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## lucyandsandy (Apr 7, 2011)

Oh and sorry I am a ladeeey but I can tell you my husband wasn't as phased as I was but it wasn't seen as his responsibilty to train Sandy so he was impartial!


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## scarter (Apr 26, 2009)

vickij said:


> Am feeling guilty as hell - have had my puppy for just under 24 hours and although I love him already, I have already thought more than once or twice, "WHAT HAVE I DONE"!!
> 
> Toilet training tough.
> 
> ...


I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one!

Our first little Beagle ADORED other dogs - she liked nothing more than to play fight, chase - it felt cruel that she didn't have a playmate at home. So, when she was a year old we got another puppy - they were only 10 months apart so playmates for life.

Well, madam didn't WANT another puppy in the house (We've since realised that all that play fighting and chasing was madam learning to KILL other dogs - she doesn't like sharing her people with them at all!). And the new baby was the noisiest, most demanding, attention craving little critter you could imagine. He screamed when he didn't get what he wanted and if you ignored him he'd just scream louder - he'd keep it up for ever. Now, a Beagle has a unique voice box that makes noises louder and more piercing than any other dog!

It broke my heart for nearly a year. I couldn't love him as I felt I should - and it wasn't his fault - he was adorable.

But things settled now I adore them both equally (and they love each other). I wouldn't change things for the world.

In retrospect I'd say that whilst I think puppies LOOK cute, I'm not a puppy person. I much prefer it when the dogs have matured. If I were to get another dog it would be a puppy but this time around I'd be prepared for not enjoying it in the early months as you feel you should. I think it's the guilt that makes it so bad. It will work out fine I'm sure!

Mine are still little terrors tho' (but I can at least 'contain' the chaos now!!):


_Our boy Biggles taking a playful chunk out of big sister Beanie's lug!_​
Just look forward to the good times - they aren't far away! LOL


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## Helbo (Sep 15, 2010)

I don't think you have to be a woman to feel like this

I panicked a little after getting Charlie - worried whether I could handle raising a pup. But if you're a caring person then I think it's natural to worry a bit.

Maybe women get more 'down' with toilet training because they're usually the ones who have to clean up 95% of the accidents and do all the laundry related to it  or maybe this was just my experience 

Helen Kennedy is fundraising for Beagle Welfare


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## abbiechi (Jul 2, 2011)

Writing down Phoebe's toileting really helped me, I wrote down when she had a drink (that I saw anyway), when she ate and when she went to the toilet. I had real problems toilet training Phoebe at first but I can honestly say she's 95% there now. She's only had 1 accident in the past 2 weeks 

It might be worth trying this and figuring out a routine for yourself and her, you just need to remember to keep it up, it took me 9 days before I started to see any sort of pattern. I stopped completely after 3 weeks.

I can understand your frustration to an extent but regardless of what Phoebe could ever do I'd never regret having her in my life. A puppy is extremely rewarding so stick at it


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## gemcml (Aug 15, 2011)

It makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only one. I'm sure some men probably do feel this way too but not as much as women. 

I'm working hard now on getting into a routine of taking him out to go toilet outside and scrapping the paper training altogether! I know I have my work cut out, especially with a toddler under 2 still recovering from chicken pox! But I'm sure in the end it will be totally worth it.

As it goes for training otherwise he has been a pleasure. Today is day 5 and he has already mastered he's name, come, sit, paw, he's getting there with the no biting and we're now working on the wait. He is doing amazingly well so I know it isn't he's fault the paper training didn't go well but mine for sending him mixed messages!!


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## Guinevere13 (Mar 31, 2008)

Glad you are feeling better about it all now.

My mam used to breed dogs so we were brought up with puppies and their delightful ways so it didn't seem that bad to me but it was still a pain. Once you learn their body language then it gets easier. Mind you I wasn't particularly happy with it in my own house! Crating didn't work for us but I am sure it does for others so whatever you feel is best. The best thing is to be consistent.

Hope your toddler is feeling better too x


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## AlexArt (Apr 25, 2010)

I think I must be nuts! - I rescued 4 five week old puppies 13yrs ago - they were lab x rottie, I have just the one left now, but as others have said it was routine routine routine!! Within 2 weeks they were pretty good at going out to pee and poop - it was only the occasional accident, but at the end of the day it is only poop/pee and not as if it is nuclear waste!, it's easy to clean up you just have a mop and bucket at the ready all the time!! 
They were restricted in the kitchen though on hard floor and not allowed round the house until they were much older, I never paper trained as that only teaches a dog that it is OK to pee/poop indoors and confuses the hell out of them!! These I didn't crate train but I have done with subsequent puppies and found them to be great - I have 8 dogs at the mo, the youngest is 8 months old the oldest is 14 and to be honest it is the other end of their lives that is more trying than the puppy stages - it's when they loose the plot and go wherever they happen to be that is the fun bit!!! - but that is what happens when you have animals!!!! So stick with it, putting up with all the pee and poop is worth it in the end - honestly!! - and you'll have a very rewarding family member at the end of the day!!
Here's one of mine as a mishevious pup who pooped for britain, he is now 2, his name is Ted and he has a brain the size of a peanut!!!








Here he is grown up:


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## YoshiLea (Aug 11, 2011)

Ugh the puppy blues. Been there in the past. We had a puppy last year and made every single mistake in the book and she now lives with a family friend because I spiralled into a deep depression. She was harder than both my colicky babies put together and for 4 months she pooed, wee'd everywhere, bit everyone, would never stop jumping. I made the biggest mistake first of all by getting a puppy against my husband's wishes. Second biggest mistake was taking in a puppy 1. without research, 2. which was badly bred and 3. with little money at the time to get everything she would need. And third biggest mistake was expecting it to be easy and straight forward. My mum wouldn't visit because I couldn't control her and my Husband pretended to be ok with it but never tried to bond with her. My house became a soiled playground for a puppy I didn't understand and couldn't control. When she went to live with a friend the relief was absolutely incredible but I cried every night for 6 months. I felt so terribly bad. The worse kind of person. I missed her terribly and the house felt empty and we only had her for 4 months. I told my husband I wanted to try again but I wanted to research every single thing. Every single breed. I wanted to do it properly and I wanted it to be a family decision. My husband said no up until the time we found Yoshi a year later. We all fell inlove and had researched the breeds he was crossed with until we were blue in the face. We studied everything about puppies up until they are older and we bought stuff well in advance of having him. When we met him it was an instant bond for everyone and he loved us. So we had him and at 4 months old he is such a different experience. He is already toilet trained, he's well mannered, he loves everyone and it makes his puppy moments so much more enjoyable. We have never had an accident upstairs and the reason why I think this time is different for us, other than the fact we know what we are dealing with and all have bonded, is that we crate trained from day 1, we have a babygate stopping him from having free roam of the whole house and we are all working at it like a team.

Sorry to ramble but I just want you who are suffering to know that when you get a puppy, you never know what you are getting yourself into fully, but it's essential you have the knowledge and patience in preparation first hand and that you are completely human at the end of the day. Admitting a mistake is perfectly ok, because it can be changed, if you have the dedication and want to make it right, you can. Start researching everything now and start trying ways to deal with it. If crates aren't your thing, then fine, but I swear crating Yoshi has been the biggest help to us and I would never raise a puppy without one now. Big hugs and keep strong. They really are SO worth it in the end. My girl from last year is a perfectly well trained dog now and I still miss her terribly.


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## 5rivers79 (Mar 28, 2011)

Come on ladies, if you can raise a baby to a full grown person then raising a pup is a breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.


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## Werehorse (Jul 14, 2010)

5rivers79 said:


> Come on ladies, if you can raise a baby to a full grown person then raising a pup is a breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.


Condescending and chauvenistic. What a treat.


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## YoshiLea (Aug 11, 2011)

5rivers79 said:


> Come on ladies, if you can raise a baby to a full grown person then raising a pup is a breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.


It's incredibly similar. I think the most common thing between the two is the lack of time for yourself. That feeling when you just sit down and put your feet up and the baby starts crying/dog starts peeing on the rug. It's that constant eyes in the back of your head feeling that I think is so tiring.


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## gemcml (Aug 15, 2011)

YoshiLea you hit the nail on the head - it is the lack of time to yourself that gets to you emotionally. Especially on top of having three kids. Both my eldest two kids are out with their auntie at the moment ...and both my little girl and Jazz (The puppy) are having a nap together at the moment :smilewinkgrin: Giving me some much needed peace 

I know somebody said earlier that its only wee and poo and is easy to clean up. I have laminate flooring throughout the home so the cleaning up isn't really the issue. Its easy enough to do but I felt overwhelmed that i felt like i was following Jazz around all day CONSTANTLY mopping up wee!!

I never ever expected having a puppy to be a walk in the park and it was never a last minute decision to get a puppy. I have known i wanted a puppy to join our home since May and have been researching different breeds and looking for a puppy ever since. I have spent months on gumtree and other sites and there was probably an opportunity EVERY day to get a dog - but as i said i wanted a dog that i knew would fit in well with our home. I didn't want to take the risk of getting a dog and risking him/her not fitting in then having to go through the heart wrenching risk of rehoming! 

After a lot of research i narrowed it down to a lab, goldie or lab or goldendoodle due to their reputation for being brilliant with children and an all round family dog. I then spent months looking for one of these breeds before finally finding Jazz! He is a miniature labradoodle.
I live in London and don't drive but I traveled all the way from London to Kent by train just to get him. I was really excited but nervous the night prior to getting him that this was finally happening. Then when waking up on the day i was suppose to collect him it was only then that the doubts began to surface! 
All the fears went racing through my head..."omg am i doing the right thing?"... "Can I really handle a puppy??" ..."what am i doing?" I almost never went to get him, but i knew if i didn't i would forever have regretted NOT getting him. Of course i fell in love with him the moment i met him.

I guess one thing I can say, as much as I believe finding and getting Jazz was fate and it was just meant to be! But in another respect the timing couldn't have been worse - now on our third week of the 6 weeks holidays and having pretty much spent the first 3 weeks stuck at home with all three kids taking turns to having chicken pox  ...As if that wasn't stressful enough i then brought Jazz into the equation whilst my youngest still hadn't recovered fully and was still quite clingy with me! 
Ok so i admit my timing probably wasn't the best. But is their really ever a PERFECT time???

As it goes for the weeing and pooing. Today is the first day of taking Jazz outside to do his business and so far today not a single wee or poo in the house  He seems to be picking the method up already so with a lot of perseverance and consistency from me hopefully we'll get there soon enough!... But so far so good for only day one! :smilewinkgrin:


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## Guinevere13 (Mar 31, 2008)

They are very bright little things and try to please so I am sure it won't be long before he does it outside all the time - oh and welcome to the labradoodle club!


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## gemcml (Aug 15, 2011)

I just want to say a MASSIVE thanks again to everyone for their understanding and advice! 

Quick update: Today was day 3 of 'scrapping paper training and doing his business outside', and it has to be said Jazz has been an absolute dream! I am sooooooo proud of him!  In those 3 days we have only had one accident in the house which was my fault as i took too long to get out! 

Yesterday he actually started crying by the door so i took him out and he went straight out and did his business 

Now looking back on my first post i feel a right t**! lol. Funny how stress gets to you. But i am now happy to admit that where we were going wrong was all down to ME and my stupid mistakes! As it goes for Jazz he is just the best!!!! I love him to bits and couldn't be more proud of him! :smilewinkgrin:

Hopefully this post will also give a lot of people hope if they do find themselves going through the 'post puppy blues' too


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