# Chosing a companion cat for unneutered male (need advice)



## Tangerine (May 10, 2013)

Hi, first of all, because it's my first post in this forum.  I'll say I'm sorry in advance for the extra long post you are about to experience.

I have a 1,5 year old unneutered male cat, and i would like to get a second cat for him to play. I would like advice on what do you think would be the best option for his new friend. I'm asking wether to adopt a female or a male (spayed or neutered, of course), a bit younger than him or the younger the better? I really don't know.

First of all, my sweet Nicolas... what not to say about him! We rescued him when he was around one. We relocated to Shanghai last year, it was summer, and there were typhoons going on... Despite never having had a cat, and knowing zero about them, we took him in, as he would not survive outside. He had a broken leg that had healed wrong, and was very thin.

Since day one, he has been perfect. He never has sprayed, never does anything wrong. He still doesn't like to be held, but, he sleeps with us, and wants us to always be around. He comes running to greet us at the door when we come back from work! He's utterly sweet and playful. That's why we didn't see the necessity of neutering him. Maybe we were wrong.

I forgot to say he's strictly an indoor cat. While cooking dinner we open the flat's door so he can gossip on the next door neighbours of our floor. Which he loves. He always asks for that. But never roams far from our door.

I could tell he's friendly to other cats. Once at the vet there was another cat, a feisty one, by the way, and he tried to approach her, all bent down, in a submissive way, I'd say. He needs another cat, he's always looking at his reflection thinking there's another one. Also once, I came across a cute cat, petted him (or her), and later on I let Nicolas smell my hand. He started meowing like calling for the other cat.

We have to leave him home alone for around 9-10 hours a day, since we both work full time. We would consider to get someone to go check on him once a day, but, since we live in China, it hasn't been easy to find.

I would appreciate any kind of comment/suggestion/experience that you would like to share.
Thank you in advance!


----------



## sharon_gurney (Jan 27, 2010)

hello and welcome

firstly I would say get him neutered it can be quite frustrating for an entire male not to have access to girly company. Once he has been done it wouldn't matter if you got a male or female for company for him.

I would do this sooner rather than later as 10 hours alone all day is a long time it would be like living in solitary confinement. 

very pretty boy by the way


----------



## spotty cats (Jul 24, 2012)

Get him neutered and wait 8 weeks for his hormones to fully settle before bringing another cat in.

As said once neutered the gender doesn't matter.


----------



## Tangerine (May 10, 2013)

Hi, thanks for the welcome and for your replies.

The thing is, we'd rather not neuter him. We've read plenty on the subject, and we know its pros and cons. We've also read about few cats that became depressed after the neutering.

We know about the health risks he could have being unneutered. But truth being told, he will always be a total indoor cat, we plan on taking him with us in future relocations,... so no risk of unwanted breeding.

So, after all that, we prefer not to neuter him.

The question is if it's possible to get a second cat..and him/her being adopted would mean choosing a fixed one...without Nicolas starting spraying or developing unwanted behaviours.

Thanks!


----------



## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm struggling to find cons for neutering a male cat, other than the very, very small risk that any operation involves. I've never heard of them becoming depressed as a consequence of neutering.

Would you like to let us see the information your found about the cons?


----------



## spotty cats (Jul 24, 2012)

Spraying and other behaviours usually happen with entire cats, regardless of being alone or not. It's just their hormones, they can also smell other cats not far away that set off behaviours.

He may well harass any new cat you bring in, lots of entire boys will attempt to mate anything, play too rough etc. And you won't know if your boy is one of them until it's too late. 

Not really fair to keep a boy sexually ready with no release  He'll be awfully frustrated.

There is a reason breeders keep males in a stud houses and also make sure they have enough work.


----------



## HoneyFern (Aug 27, 2009)

I work in rescue and therefore every male cat I encounter is neutered ASAP and I can't say any of them have ever been depressed because of it.

It will be hard to introduce another cat whilst he is entire and frankly it wouldn't be fair. 

When get another cat they usually advise going younger and the opposite sex but i wouldn't recommend a kitten as you are out so long during the day - they need lots of attention and can get into trouble easily.


----------



## koekemakranka (Aug 2, 2010)

Tangerine said:


> Hi, thanks for the welcome and for your replies.
> 
> The thing is, we'd rather not neuter him. We've read plenty on the subject, and we know its pros and cons. We've also read about few cats that became depressed after the neutering.
> 
> ...


Single males can start spraying also. I have never experienced post-op "depression" in a neutered cat. In contrast, I find neutered males very affectionate and loving. A sexually frustrated enitire male is an unpleasant, smelly beast. The pros of neutering FAR outweigh any cons. Get him neutered.


----------



## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

I echo what the others have said....please PLEASE get him neutered and without delay. I have 5 neutered males in my house right now and none of them are in the least depressed....on the contrary they are happy contented and NOT sexually frustrated.
Your lovely boy will start to smell very strongly if left un-castrated and he will have an insane urge to escape to get to female cats. He WILL get out, and wander a long way....he may never come home.


----------



## Jesthar (May 16, 2011)

Hi Tangerine,

Unfortunately with an un-neutered male you can't have a companion for him at all. Aside from mating, they would be solitary in the wild, and that behaviour persists in housecats (unless they are neutered).

If you get a male, then I assume you wouldn't neuter him either, and that would guarantee constant fighting. However loving he is to you, he won't tolerate another male on 'his' turf. So a male is not an option.

If you got a female, then he'd contantly be trying to mate her. You haven't said whether or not you would spay a female cat, but if you don't want to do that, then either you would have to keep the cats separate or have a constant stream of pregnancies and kittens, which would wear the female out very, very quickly and carries a lot of health risks. If you had a spayed female, then he would still be sexually frustrated and try to mate her, and that can lead to aggression - my female cat has just had two trips to the vet and spent five weeks in a cone collar healing after an un-neutered male bit her viciously trying to have his way with her anyway. So a female is also not an option.

Therefore, your only solution is to neuter or keep him solitary. I know neither is the answer you want, sorry, but unfortunately it is the truth.

~Jes


----------



## carly87 (Feb 11, 2011)

The other thing that needs to be considered is the neutered cat themselves. Everyone's already told you why you can't have a boy, even a neutered one, but as for a girl? Well. I have four of the most loving, placid girls you could ever hope to meet when it comes to human contact. I recently bought in a stud and had him in the house to settle him in. Every single one of my girls didn't like him on sight. Now, 5 weeks on, do you know who it is who still hates him so much that she can't be in the same room with him without howling, and literally trying to kill him? Tia,... The one solitary girl in the house who's neutered. The others dislike him, but rub along reasonably well anyway, but the only one who should, by normal standards, get along well as she doesn't have the angst hormones any more, is the one who wouldn't stop until she'd disemboweled him, and she's one of the most placid, gentle breeds of cat it's possible to get. And no, I'm not exaggerating. Do you really want that in your home?


----------



## Tangerine (May 10, 2013)

Hi all, and thanks for your replies.

Seeing how wrong we apparently were, we have made an appointment for tomorrow to have him fully checked, blood tested and neutered at one of Shanghai's best veterinary clinics, we want no risks for him.

I'll let you know how it goes and about his future new friend. That, after reading your opinions, think will be another sweet natured fixed boy.

Thank you for your help. We have been discussing so much about the neutering subject, and we would have never been totally satisfied with whatever we decided. But given your unanimous answer to the subject... 90% of the doubt is dissipated. That's how stubborn we are haha.

Thank you again!


----------



## spotty cats (Jul 24, 2012)

Wonderful you've had a change of heart. Curious though, in all your research you didn't come across these things before?

Hope your boys op goes well and he recovers quickly.


----------



## Jansheff (Jan 31, 2011)

Just wanted to say that I have two neutered Burmese - they are both now 8 years old and are the most UNdepressed cats ever. In fact there are times it would help to be able to take their batteries out to get some peace and quiet!!

And my big neutered Raffy is a great happy softy! 

And they all get on great.


----------



## oliviarussian (Sep 2, 2010)

Glad to hear you have changed your mind and are getting him neutered, I think you will find you have made the best decision for your boy and you can then concentrate on finding him a buddy to play with! 

Keep us updated won't you cos I would love to hear how things pan out!


----------



## carly87 (Feb 11, 2011)

Oh, well done you! If your boy is a placid softy already, just you wait until he's neutered. They get even more lovely after that! Leave him for about 6 weeks before you bring in another cat though, as it takes all that time for the hormones to totally leave his system.

It's posts like this that make me stick around on this forum. I'm so, so pleased we've helped convince you to make a change that will so much better the life of your lad! Well done again!


----------



## Tangerine (May 10, 2013)

Hi all! Thanks for your concern.

The surgery was done today. I thought he only had one testicle, or two very small ones, but the vet said that the second one had probably not dropped and should be inside his abdomen. A bit more complicated than the normal procedure.

There I was about to abort mission, when she told us that due to different temperature between his organs and the testicle, it could transform into cancer. So I didn't need any more signs. 

Luckily the operation went well and now little Nicolas is hiding, sleeping, and refusing water or food. The vet said that could happen, so we are not too worried. We will monitor him full time the next days.

I'm very glad we did it. And i can't thank you all enough, you were the last opinion we needed to decide for it. So thank you.

In reply to you, spotty cats, most of the research we didn't see how it applied to us. Or didn't want to see. Most of the pros refer to cats with behavioural issues, outdoor cats, or cats that had other unfixed cats as companions (remember we were and still are planning to adopt a fixed cat).
Also, we live in a city where expats come and go, and sadly it's frequent for them to get cats and release them when they move out of the country. The situation is overwhelming, gardens are filled with cats, and the problem gets bigger if the animals are unfixed. Thats the main reason for animal NGOs here to defend cat neutering, they don't tend to focus on the cats sexual frustration, like many of you explained here, or the almost impossibility to get him a friend. 

Enough for today! Thank you again, and will keep you informed when he gets better.


----------



## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

Well done for listening to sound advice and making the right decision for your beautiful boy.
You can see I have a weakness for the white ones!


----------



## ljs85 (Jun 2, 2012)

So glad you got him neutered 

As for what gender the companion cat should be, well I've got a neutered boy and a spayed female and they get on like a house on fire! They are always playing and grooming each other and sometimes like to sleep together (or on top of each other!).

Once they are neutered I don't think it matters what gender they are, just take time with the introductions.


----------



## Tangerine (May 10, 2013)

In case anyone wonders, he's ok!

I took yesterday off work, he didn't show interest in food or water for more than 24 hours, until i force-fed him 4 or 5 bites of his favourite treat. He didn't move from my bed all day long.

I was starting to get worried, until i removed his cone for some minutes, and gave him some wet food and water, and voila! He was alright! Moved from bed, did a tour around the house and when he started to get comfy to lick the wound again, i put the cone back. He looked at me, then laid on the floor like that was the only thing he could do. The brat!

Now we have organized shifts to leave him alone as little as possible.

Tomorrow he will go to the vet again, since she told us she had given him a smaller painkiller dose in order to prevent him from moving as much as he would normally, because he's very strong. And grumpy, her words, not mine :smilewinkgrin:

If everything keeps going like this, he'll be discharged this sunday! Happiness!


----------



## Tangerine (May 10, 2013)

Paddypaws all of your cats are beautiful, but, yes, the white ones specially. The odd-eyed one is breathtaking.

Now if i had to choose, I'd go for a tabby. Funny enough, when I was really young and had to make a wish, I always asked for a white cat and a white pony. All of a sudden, without any planning, the white cat comes to me. I'll have to move to a bigger house, i see the pony coming. Oh yeah!


----------



## moggiemum (Mar 28, 2013)

get well soon handsome boy


----------



## sharon_gurney (Jan 27, 2010)

Im really pleased for you, so many times people come on here for advice and just do the absolute opposite.

This is a great site for help and advice so keep popping back even if its not cat related.


----------

