# I really can't deal with this crippling pain.



## thewildthings (Jun 7, 2014)

My best friend- my only friend really- is gone. He is never coming back. I keep expecting him to walk through the door, stick his out from underneath the duvet, come bounding in from the garden on to my lap covering me with muddy paw prints. 

I have nobody to talk to. My parents don't really understand and expect me to move on. 

I keep having bad daydreams of him lying on the side of the road trying to call out for me but me not coming to help. Seeing his lifeless little body lying in the garden after the police officer placed him there. 

He helped me get over my depression...pulled me out of my dark place. And he's gone and I can feel myself slipping back. 

I really don't know how much longer I can take this pain.


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

I am so sorry you have lost your friend, cat or dog? it really is like losing a member of your family, and others dont always understand, how much they mean to us,
Please just try to think of the happy times you had with him, not easy i know, but it might help you, i think we often feel guilty because we were not there to help, 
Hopefully your pet didnt suffer and it was instant, i am assuming it was a road accident,
In time the pain WILL ease, and perhaps one day in the future you might think of finding a new friend, and i KNOW just now you are saying you will never have another, i have done the same


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## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

thewildthings said:


> My best friend- my only friend really- is gone. He is never coming back. I keep expecting him to walk through the door, stick his out from underneath the duvet, come bounding in from the garden on to my lap covering me with muddy paw prints.
> 
> I have nobody to talk to. My parents don't really understand and expect me to move on.
> 
> ...


I am so sorry you are going through this pain. I know exactly what you are feeling because I have lost 4 dogs in my life and one of them only last Sunday so I know how hard it is.

We are never prepared or can realise how much the loss of a beloved dog and friend can hit us or the pain we will experience until it happens, and when it does the pain can be all consuming.

I am so sorry to that you lost your dog in such a sudden and shocking way. Even when they are old and have medical problems its hard, to lose a beloved friend in the way you have done must be even more unbearable. They can and do get us through hardships and problems in life and are often there for us when we feel no one else is, or when no one else can give us the comfort that only they can. They do become a big part of our lives and that is why it is so hard to let them go, and why we feel the pain of the loss and company so deeply.

You cant instantly just move on, no one can, first you have to go through the grieving process and that takes time, and we also have to adjust to life without them. I know the suddenness and how it happened has left you in shock and the pain of losing him you feel at the moment you feel you will never be able to get through, but in time it will get easier I promise you.

I know you find the nightmares unbearable and the thought of seeing his lifeless body in the garden something that is hard to get out of your mind.
Try to think though, that although it was a terrible shock for you and you are in pain, he is now at peace and free from any pain and suffering, he cant hurt anymore and he wont be frightened.

Also remember he had a wonderful life with you and knew how much he was loved and in turn loved you, he was there through the hard times, and he wouldn't want you to be sad or go back into the dark place he helped save you from. So try to hold the thought, that you need to be strong in his memory, and everything you both shared and meant to each other.

There is a section on here called Rainbow bridge where you can write a memorial to him, I did that for my Daisy and I found it helped, to pay tribute to her.

If you feel you would like to speak to someone in person, who understands and can help you through it, then The blue cross do a bereavement service that is entirely free, and its something that may help you. The details are on the link below.

Blue Cross - Pet Bereavement Support Service

Many members have suffered the loss of our beloved dogs and friends and we understand what you are going through, so please don't feel alone, or feel like you have to go through it alone, and no one understands.


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## sylvette2849 (Aug 26, 2012)

I lost my girl, Daisy in a terrible accident and blamed myself for years. She was the sweetest cat you could ever wish for and she did not deserve to die like that. With time I came to understand that she would not want her mum-mum to be so sad and cry for her all the time. So, now when I think of her I try to remember that. I think of how I can take the quality she was best known for, her sweetness, and try to live my life through acts of kindness and sweetness. I know she would approve!
So during this time, think of one of his *best* qualities, and try to live each day using this quality....make him proud and happy! I hope you will heal your big heart and find peace again.


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## Ragdollsfriend (Feb 13, 2014)

So sorry to hear about your loss. I believe these we truly love never die, they live forever in our heart. 
I lost my silver tabby girl Tornado last December, after 15 years of friendship. Just so horrible.

Be gentle to yourself and I hope your heart will heal with time and pain will be replaced by heart-warming memories.

Hugs x


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## LPC (Jul 22, 2012)

thewildthings, I am truly sorry to read about the recent passing of your beloved pet (I assume a dog?). The suggestion of Sled Dog Hotel above is excellent, about contacting the Blue Cross for support and advice. Or if you feel in need of personal discussion via e-mail, you are welcome to contact me via PM or the contact page of my site. I do so hope that you are feeling better. Do not suffer alone in silence.


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

I'm sorry you're going through this, but I do know how bad it can be.

We lost our Darling old Staffy lady at the end of January and I still struggle greatly with the loss of her.

What you're feeling is normal. You must give yourself time to grieve and don't be pushed by anyone else into 'moving on' before you're ready.

Your boy is always with you in spirit and in time to come, you will be able to remember him without the pain. Trust me, you will.

I have been keeping and losing dogs for thirty five years and I've been devastated with the loss of each one, but things do get better with time, I promise you that.

Hang on in there, it won't always feel like it does now.


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