# Cat rehoming help



## The Twins (Oct 11, 2009)

Am in a dilemma. I have been battling this for three years now and it's steadily getting worse. I love them dearly and want to do the best for them. My cats are really not happy at the moment - mainly due to being around two small kids I suspect and I can't let them outside here as the roads are too dangerous and they have no road sense due to being house cats for 6 years. I'm beginning to think (as sad as it makes me) that we should try and find them a new home somewhere where they can have a quieter less stressed life with access to a lovely big garden somewhere more in the countryside. I do not want to send them to a rehoming place as being in a cattery environment would be horrific for them. I really don't know what to do. Any suggestions or ideas would be brilliant... I Am gutted to even think about it but I know they're not happy.


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

Do you have a garden which you could cat proof or put a pen in? Its a difficult situation if they have no means of getting away from what upsets them.


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## The Twins (Oct 11, 2009)

No 


Charity said:


> Do you have a garden which you could cat proof or put a pen in? Its a difficult situation if they have no means of getting away from what upsets them.


No the garden is tiny and the main play area for the kids. The cats hAve full free access of our three storey house. A huge cat tree. Lots of hidey holes. And the kids are out a lot (three days a week they're on childcare). I've done pretty much all I can think of. They need a lovely big garden or to be homed in a care home with lots of warm laps to cuddle up on. They're ok with the kids and I keep the kids quiet around them as much as I can but its just not fair on them. I also suspect my son may have developed an allergy to them as constantly sneezes around them. Again Id try and work round this if the cats were happy but they're just not.


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## carly87 (Feb 11, 2011)

The garden can still be the main play area for the kids if it's cat proofed. Just means the cats can go out there too if they want.


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

What behaviour are they showing which makes you think they aren't happy? It sounds as if you have lots of space for them to run around or get away if you have three floors. I wonder if its more of a frustration at not being able to go outside rather than the children. One of my was very unhappy after being an indoor cat for nearly two years but is so much better now she can go outside after we catproofed our garden.


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## Jansheff (Jan 31, 2011)

I don't understand why you consider kids and cats completely incompatible. Lots of us have both on here. My kids are at uni now, but we have had cats since before they were born and they loved each other. It's part of children's learning to nurture and respect animals and our cats have always loved the attention from them when adults didn't have time to give it.


















  








Doing homework




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Jansheff


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May 18, 2011


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## The Twins (Oct 11, 2009)

"I don't understand why you consider kids and cats completely incompatible. Lots of us have both on here. My kids are at uni now, but we have had cats since before they were born and they loved each other. It's part of children's learning to nurture and respect animals"

Where have I ever said that they are incompatible? And my children, although young, are taught exactly that - to be kind and respectful to the cats (and my mothers dog). Please don't be so judgemental. I have tried for 3 years to combat this issue and having a toddler and a young baby is proving stressful for my cats. I do not need unhelpful comments like yours.

As for the garden issue - I am not prepared to compromise my childrens outside playtime - the cats have free roam of the house as it is and the garden (a tiny courtyard of concrete) is the kids only area that they don't have to share with the cats. I have ALWAYS made my cats a priority in terms of happiness and it is very clear to me that they are now stressed and unhappy. I know them well enough to know the signs but for those who are questioning me - they over groom, they hide a lot and don't want as much interaction with me and my husband in the evenings when the kids are asleep, they're off their food... etc. And yes ive had them checked by the vets several times. We have also tried plug ins and zyklene.

And in the interest of clarity - I have on occasion left the back door open to see if they want to go out - and neither of them have ventured outside. I don't blame them - its a depressing concrete yard with nothing exciting to see and we're surrounded by other neigbours cats and busy traffic noise.

If anyone has helpful advice about where to look to rehome them myself - please comment. I have NOT taken this lightly so please refrain negative bashing.


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## Jansheff (Jan 31, 2011)

Sorry, I don't see anyone, including myself being negative or judgemental. I never suggested your children were not being taught to be kind and respectful. And the observation about kids and cats being incompatible seems to be upheld by your comments about the back garden - it's the kids' play area so the cats aren't allowed there. 

I wish you and your cats well and hope they find a lovely new home.


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

I actually WAS trying to be helpful and see if there were ways round you having to reach the difficult decision to rehome your cats but it sounds as if you feel this is the only option. If so, then I suggest you put a thread on the Rescue and Adoption section saying what area you live in, with photos, and contact your local rescues like Cats Protection.


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## vivien (Jul 20, 2009)

No one said for you to compromise your little ones playtime. It was suggested that you maybe could cat proof your garden. I only have a tiny garden but it is cat proofed. There are several ways of doing it we did it ourselves but there is a sticky at the top of the page about cat proofing.  Here are a couple of pictures of mine and I do bling mine up with wind chimes sun catchers and solar lights.


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## vivien (Jul 20, 2009)

Sorry on of them has come out upside down   I hope this has helped a little. My boys get stressed when they are kept in when I go out but once they go out they are thoroughly chilled  x


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## Ang2 (Jun 15, 2012)

Youre not prepared to compromise your kid's playtime? What exactly does that mean?


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

What a sad thread,I'm sorry to say this but from what I am reading no matter how you dress this up,your cats seem have become an inconvenience to you.
Perhaps it is best that you find them another home where they will be included in the family,although at 6 years old this wont be easy and will most likely stress them even more.


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## Jesthar (May 16, 2011)

buffie said:


> What a sad thread,I'm sorry to say this but from what I am reading no matter how you dress this up,your cats seem have become an inconvenience to you.
> Perhaps it is best that you find them another home where they will be included in the family,although at 6 years old this wont be easy and will most likely stress them even more.


Exactly how is that helpful, buffie? I usually have the greatest respect for the things you post, but some things are better thought than said, hon  Three years is a long time to persevere with upset cats - I was very, very tempted to rehome Lori many a time over the last two years, it would have been so much easier...

Twins, if they don't want to go out when you open the back door, I can't think it's the lack of outside access that is bothering them, especially if they have always been content as house cats. Which is as well if you don't want them in your kids play space anyway - I'm sot sure why you think the cats would compromise this, but it's your call. 

I wonder, though - are the cats picking up on YOUR stress? I know mine do. If you are constantly worried about how they will interact with your children, and how your children are going to interact with the cats, they are going to pick up on that. My best friend has two very lively children aged 2 and 4, and her cats are both 9 years old. Hers are allowed out, but still spend a lot of time in the house in places out of the way from the kids, but when it comes to interaction they have always seemed to know that children are human kittens and allowances must be made for them.

Likewise, my eldest cat, Charlie-girl, was rehomed to me at the age of five from a family with three VERY boisterous children (nothing to do with them, though, new landlord annouced on the verge of moving in he'd changed his mind and pets weren't allowed and it was too late to do anything else), and she would let them do ANYTHING with her, which means she's a very tolerant lass who is dream to handle for vet trips, pills etc. She's the black girl in my avatar photo.  She also used to spend a lot of time curled up in out of the way places when with the family, but was always a lap cat for me whenever I visited, which was why she ended up coming to me 

The hardest thing for me to learn, I think, was not to hover or try and impose my wishes on her, particularly when she was really not getting on with Lori, as it only makes things worse trying to push them together. Rather, I've had to keep her on Zylkene long term (I just managed to reduce the dose, too  ) and let her sort things out in her own time. Letting go of that kind of worry is hard, and hurts, but it really has worked - I've even caught them rubbing noses sometimes when they think I'm not looking, and they even played together for a while last night (Charlie started it, too!).


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## The Twins (Oct 11, 2009)

Replies like yours Buffie, are exactly why I stopped coming on here a few years ago. Judgmental crap like yours is not what I need. Thanks.

And thanks for the helpful info Jesthar - I think, knowing my cats as well as I do, that they just do not like being around two small shouty grabby hectic kids.

Anyway - I'm out, I don't need the judgemental crap. None of you know me and I would never judge like the majority of you lot have. Luckily I have supportive friends who are going to help out with this one now. Hopefully you wont scare others off who seek advise. Idiots.


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## Polly G (Apr 30, 2013)

Sorry that you feel the need to be so rude to Buffie - for what its worth, I agree with her. Good luck with rehoming your cats.


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## The Twins (Oct 11, 2009)

She was equally rude but if you want to be hypocritical that's up to you. Neither her or you replies have been helpful at all so jog on.


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

Polly G said:


> Sorry that you feel the need to be so rude to Buffie - for what its worth, I agree with her. Good luck with rehoming your cats.


Thank you


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## Ang2 (Jun 15, 2012)

Sorry, but I didn't think Buffie was out of order either! Still waiting for an explanation of what "not prepared to compromise your kid's playtime" means. I don't understand how cats can compromise kid's play time.


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

I will close this thread if it descends any further into personal arguments. Differing opinions are no cause for insult.


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