# Newly adopted senior cat - advice/reassurance required!



## jcliney (May 10, 2020)

Hi guys, first time poster here hoping you can offer me some advice. I brought home a gorgeous 9 year old British shorthair on Friday. She has spent her life living on a rural farm with several other cats and one lady, but had tended to keep herself to herself and not socialise so much. The lady who owned her previously hoped that coming to a home where it was just me and her would be beneficial to her.

It has only been two days, but I just wanted to check that I shouldn't be worrying. I've set her up in her own little bedroom with a bed, her carrier, food, water, litter tray, scratching post, toys etc. She's only eaten a tiny bit of tuna and used the litter tray once since arriving, and is hiding underneath the back of the bed with the widest eyes I've ever seen on a cat! I realise trying to force her to interact or leave her hiding place isn't wise, so I've been spending time going in and sitting on the bed just reading or gently talking to her to get her more used to me. I've also plugged in a Feliway diffuser which I'm hoping will help calm her down in time.

How long before I should start worrying about the lack of food/water, considering it's been over 48 hours now? And have you any advice for how best I can make her feel safer and eventually coax her out, and how long this process may take?

Thanks in advance,
James


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## Pepperpots (Apr 3, 2016)

Don’t worry yet, just give her time and keep doing what you are doing. Cooked chicken in broth is good to tempt them.


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## ChaosCat (Dec 7, 2017)

What you are doing is perfect, just keep it up and let her make the first move. 
It might take some time, depending on how much interaction with humans she is used to.


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Hi James and welcome  

The time she is most likely to eat at present is at night when the house is quiet. Leave her plenty of tasty food overnight placed near her hiding place. 

Do you know what the previous owner fed her? It is best to feed her the same thing for now, until she has settled in. Then you can gradually introduce new foods if you want to. 

I love BSH cats - I used to have two myself.


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## jcliney (May 10, 2020)

Hi guys, thanks for all your responses. Sure enough Saffie started eating after a few days and is now eating and drinking normally - I followed your advice and managed to find the same food she had been used to, so thank you! 

Unfortunately she's still hiding under the bed the majority of the time; she comes out in the evening to sit on top of it but only if I'm not around. I'm spending a few hours a day (in spells) in the room with her, sitting working or quietly talking, but we don't seem to be making much progress. After two weeks am I being impatient? I can't imagine she's too happy spending so much time under a bed, but am beginning to fear this could take months rather than weeks..!


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## Mrs Funkin (Mar 12, 2018)

Hello and welcome  

We adopted a senior in March 2018 - and even now he does new things each week! When he came to us he was very bitey, for want of a better word. Now he rarely does the sudden head twitch (the precursor to the bite!), he’s amazing now with contact compared to how he was. 

He came to us very confident (my avatar is of him the day after he came home, when he went exploring and found the piano!) but very much unloved and husband still says that he doesn’t think Oscar was ever taught how to be a cat. We have to give him four medications each morning and he lets us, I dread to think how he’d have been with that even 18 months ago! 

I totally think patience is key. And love. Nine years is a long time to have been somewhere and then suddenly not. Very glad to read she’s eating well too. Cupboard Love is a popular thing here  

Let us know how you get on. Oh and a photo or three, as well!


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## jcliney (May 10, 2020)

Thanks Mrs Funkin 

I've been very lucky with Saffie in that whilst often terrified she doesn't seem aggressive, although I've made sure not to test that theory too much yet...! I have a couple of questions that I wonder if you'd be able to help with?

Firstly re food and cupboard love, I'm filling her bowl once a day and leaving her to freefeed as she still isn't taking much. Will this work, or should I be following some advice I've seen online and only leaving food out when I'm in the room to reinforce the positive association?

Also, I bought a few cat toys which she's so far shown absolutely no interest in - even when I'm out the room and she's clearly been exploring. Are senior cats just less into play, or is she likely to just be waiting until she's more confident? Was considering heading out today in search of some more toys (and maybe a cat tree to encourage an alternative to under the bed?), but as a first time cat owner wondered if this would be a waste of time for an older lady!

I promise a few photos as soon as she's brave enough to come out for an extended period... don't hold your breath!

Cheers


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

2 weeks is no time at all. She's had her entire life overturned and has no idea what's happened to her. Let her adjust at her own pace. It can often take months. I would start transitioning her to a better diet now. Bring in a nice good quality smelly wet cat food meal three times a day and set it down for her. Eventually you can throw away the kibble. 

Continue to sit in the room with her talking softly but don't try to engage her directly, unless she approaches you. Even then, resist the urge to reach for her. She has no reason to trust you yet. You must show her she can. x


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## Mrs Funkin (Mar 12, 2018)

I agree with @lorilu that two weeks is barely any time...I find myself constantly envious at photos of newly adopted cats straight away cuddling their owners which are posted by the rescue Oscar came from. However, he does surprise us most days - and today's surprise was that he actually laid down on Human Daddy in bed this morning. It was very cool  Only taken 26 months, haha! So really, two weeks is nothing 

The play thing, well Oscar isn't that bothered that's for sure. There are certain things that he does like (like catnip mice but only if they have extra long tails and the Skinny Mouse he got from Psygon at Christmas in his Secret Santa parcel)...but not much else really. He is a ground/bush dweller, definitely not into being high up, so we've never got Oscar a cat tree. However, many cats still love to play and at nine years old, she's not very old at all. Try a few different things and see what her "thing" is! Some like the wand toys, some like mice etc., for chasing, some like stinky things...trial and error I think.

Feeding, well, here it's wet food all the way. Sadly, despite my best efforts, he won't leave the junk food behind...I ended up giving away all the decent stuff I bought when he wouldn't eat it. There's food out much of the time, we started the overnight feeding in the Autumn last year as he was diagnosed with several medical problems (heart, liver, BP) and seemed to want to snack through the night.

I hope Saffie starts to come out of her shell more very soon. Let us know how you go with her


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## jcliney (May 10, 2020)

Hello again everyone. I'm afraid after 2 months we don't have much improvement here with Saffie. She eats and drinks normally, and seems to explore the house when I'm asleep; I've even heard her come up onto my bed a couple of times whilst I'm asleep but as soon as I flinch she's back out to her room again!

Unfortunately, beyond that, nothing much has changed. She spends most of the time in her bed or behind the curtains in her bedroom, and will run straight back there if I'm present. I occasionally try to stroke her but she backs away and sometimes meows (not happily), so I've tried to limit this as I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I have spent hours a day at times in the room with her, quietly working on my laptop or reading. I've also given her plenty of space when I'm out at work. I give her treat (wet chicken food) every night and speak softly to her, and have tried play with just about every toy I can find - including trying some homemade ones! - none of which she's interested in, even when left alone with them overnight.

I have no intention of letting her go, but am at my wits end as to what more I can do to help the poor girl feel less frightened and enjoy her life a bit more. I've had no visitors for 2 months and tried everything I have been recommended to do and more... yet here we are!

Any advice, or reassurance of other kitties that took a while to come out of their shell, would be greatly appreciated. As far as I know she's not been abused but simply undersocialised.

Cheers


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## tyg'smum (Aug 14, 2018)

If she's been The Cat That Walked By Herself for nine years, I think you've done wonders in two months!

You say that she's got onto your bed a few times: I think that it's the "flinching" that startles her - perhaps it makes her think she's done something wrong. If you can lie still when she comes up, she'll be more confident - let her keep coming onto it. After a while you can try talking to her gently as she settles down to sleep. She wants to be friends, but by the sound of it she doesn't quite know how.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

It's all right. 2 months is a very short time. Sounds like you are showing her you can be trusted to let her call the shots, and that is the best thing you can do..

Remember that she is probably grieving her losses along with getting adjusted and learning to trust.. Grieving takes as long as it takes.

Do you talk to her a lot?

As for toys, I wouldn't try to engage in play just yet with the exception of possibly, as you sit there with your lap top, drag a string along, sort of let it pull away from her. You might drag it under a rug or paper or something, let her watch it disappear. See what she does.

it sounds to me likely that she never learned to play much.


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## jcliney (May 10, 2020)

Hello again Lorilu! Thanks for your reply. That's a very good point that I hadn't really considered; she wasn't particularly bonded with her previous owner, apparently, but she was with her brothers and sisters there so she is probably really missing them  

I talk to her a fair amount; I'll say hello sometimes as I'm going past, and have a little chat with her when I'm in her room, as well as telling her when I'm leaving and coming home again. I don't think she's been around any males before (one previous fairly solitary female owner) so am trying to do my softest voice possible! 

Good advice re play/string, I'll give that a go in the coming days. Thanks again.


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## jcliney (May 10, 2020)

tyg'smum said:


> If she's been The Cat That Walked By Herself for nine years, I think you've done wonders in two months!
> 
> You say that she's got onto your bed a few times: I think that it's the "flinching" that startles her - perhaps it makes her think she's done something wrong. If you can lie still when she comes up, she'll be more confident - let her keep coming onto it. After a while you can try talking to her gently as she settles down to sleep. She wants to be friends, but by the sound of it she doesn't quite know how.


Thanks for your reply! Unfortunately every time I've noticed her coming up onto my bed I've been asleep, so the flinching has been involuntary as I've been woken up haha. This only happened a couple of times a few weeks ago, and hasn't since, so the last flinch must have been a big one eh!


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

jcliney said:


> Thanks for your reply! Unfortunately every time I've noticed her coming up onto my bed I've been asleep, so the flinching has been involuntary as I've been woken up haha. This only happened a couple of times a few weeks ago, and hasn't since, so the last flinch must have been a big one eh!


When I rescued my Jennie (now an Angel) it took her many months to join me and the other cats on the bed. The first time she did, she had curled herself down at the corner at the foot, and I inadvertently kicked her off. I felt TERRIBLE...as she had already shown signs that whereever she was before she was dumped (pregnant, she was raising a litter on her own when I trapped her), she was 'punished' if she was caught on furniture. (by flinching and jumping down if she saw me looking at her)

She came back though after a while, and gradually found her own spot on the bed. And the furniture! 

It's early days for Saffie. She's lived a lonely kind of life. She'll eventually find out what love is, the joy of having her own personal slave, thanks to you. It just might take her a while. I think it took Jennie a good year to lose that flinch. Not the same situation, but still...it takes as long as it takes is what I am saying.

Thanks for coming back and letting us know how things are going.

It does sound like things are going well, though and you are doing wonderfully.


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## jcliney (May 10, 2020)

Hello again everyone!

6 month update and further requests for advice coming your way...

Saffie has come on leaps and bounds since we last spoke; she now walks around the house whenever she fancies, often spending time following my feet and sitting nearby as I watch TV etc. She also has an adorable habit of rolling onto her side and showing me her back (but only ever in the hallway!) which I've been told is a sign of trust/contentment. I'm delighted to see she's feeling comfortable and settled in. However...

One of my main motivations for getting a cat was for affection, and she still won't let me touch her. I understand cats can take time to settle in, and need things to be on their terms, but after 6 months it seems faintly ridiculous! She will let me stroke her if she's in her bed and can't really escape, and she has occasionally let me give her a quick stroke whilst she lays on the bed without running off, but she's still largely uncomfortable with it. I've tried to limit it for this reason, but it's beginning to feel like it's never going to change.

She's not food motivated particularly - she's turned her nose up at every single treat I've tried with her, and whilst she loved her wet food treat at night, I've had to stop this as it was giving her diarrhoea/vomiting which has cleared up since. I've tried a few different brands - even organic! - and they've had the same reaction with her. It's a real shame as I imagine this was the highlight of her day, so any suggestions for alternatives are welcome! (She was on Purina Senior chicken before, and won't eat anything beef/lamb based I've tried).

As I say, I'm delighted to see how much more comfortable she is and don't regret taking her for a minute. We have little chats and she makes me smile every day, but I'm desperate for any advice that could help her be comfortable with direct physical contact. She doesn't jump, cry, or immediately run away, so I don't think she has a history of abuse. It seems to be more mild irritation/annoyance!

Thanks in advance


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

@jcliney --- thank you for the update. 

I should think probably the reason Saffie is not keen on being stroked or touched is that she never became accustomed to it as a kitten, in her previous home..

From what you said earlier this year, she was apparently always a rather aloof cat. Perhaps the other cats she lived with were more demanding of the owner's attention, so Saffie got used to being in the background and maybe this situation reinforced her natural aloofness.

i adopted a senior female cat some years ago (she was aged 14) and although she was sweet and sociable and liked being with me all the time, she did not like being touched, or stroked. It took a year for her to allow me to stroke her down her back and down her tail, but she rationed me to only one stroke at a time, and would swipe at me if I tried more. I learnt to be satisfied with one stroke and then she would purr loudly as though pleased I had understood the rules 

With Saffie being years younger than my aloof cat, there is more of a chance she might come round eventually and let you stroke her. But I think for that to happen you may need to convey to her by your body language that you don't mind if it happens or if it doesn't. I find cats are very good at sensing what we want from them, but if your needs don't match what Saffie wants from you, then she is going to resist you. It really has to be up to Saffie, cats being very keen to be in control of what happens to them.

The roll she does in front of you is called "a social roll" and is to convey that she trusts you. However it does not mean she wants to be stroked. 

Does she play with you at all, e.g. wand toys or fishing rod toys? Play does help with bonding.

For easy-to-digest treats I suggest the Thrive Pure Protein Freeze dried treats - they come in various flavours including fish and chicken and are very popular with cats. They are sold by Pets at Home and others, or online from Zooplus (who also sell the Cosma freeze dried treats which are slightly cheaper) The treats can be broken into pieces to make them go further.

https://www.petsathome.com/shop/en/pets/cat/cat-treats?currentPage=1&pageSize=24&orderBy=1&Brand="Thrive"

p.s. it would be lovely to see a photo of Saffie if you have one to share with us?


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## jcliney (May 10, 2020)

Hi guys, 

I promised you an update and, quite a few months later than I’d initially hoped, I’m delighted to report we’ve got there! 

Around November Saffie decided to start coming out for her little rolls and by January she was entirely comfortable with petting. Her last owner told me she wasn’t affectionate or sociable, but I can’t believe it’s the same cat, because she spends most of her time cuddled with me on the sofa now and follows me just about everywhere. I also no longer need an alarm clock - 8am sharp every morning she will wander through to wake me up..!

Thank you for all your advice and reassurance - the promised pictures for you as a small token of my thanks!


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

How wonderful! Well done! Thanks for coming back!


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## tyg'smum (Aug 14, 2018)

Someone has their furry little paws well under the table! So pleased she's settled in.


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## Kirstd78 (Jan 12, 2021)

What a wonderful story, we adopted 2 rescue kitties before Xmas, a typically confident kitten but his mumma was petrified, and didn't come out from behind the sofa for about a month, she wouldn't eat in daylight and hissed if we got anywhere near her! Now 2 months later she's fairly Confident wandering round, will come when called for food and will accept a stroke on her terms, its so rewarding and seeing her come out of her shell is lovely, sounds like you've done a great job with saffie, she's gorgeous BTW


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