# Furbaby?



## Guest (Jul 17, 2016)

Spin off from a comment in a thread in dog chat. Just for a bit of fun. 

Does the term furbaby make you cringe? 
Don’t care either way?
You use it and it accurately describes how you feel about your pets?

I’m in the cringe category


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## Kimmikins (Apr 9, 2016)

I'm in the "meh" camp. It doesn't make me cringe but I don't use it myself regularly. If I ever do it's only in type and never verbally!


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## Fleur (Jul 19, 2008)

Weirdly in "real life" it makes me cringe.
But on the forum it doesn't bother me and I have used it myself on occasion. 

Even though I have used it I am firmly in the dogs are puppies and humans are babies camp.


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## Brrosa (Mar 21, 2016)

We need a poll  
I would also mostly only use in type. Definitely doesn't make me cringe


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## Guest (Jul 17, 2016)

I cringe. Even though I call Kenzie 'baby' as a term of endearment, 'furbaby' or worse, 'furchild' is a total no-go for me. I think it's because it implies that she is MY baby which she isn't. She's a dog.


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## westie~ma (Mar 16, 2009)

Fleur said:


> Weirdly in "real life" it makes me cringe.
> But on the forum it doesn't bother me and I have used it myself on occasion.
> 
> Even though I have used it I am firmly in the dogs are puppies and humans are babies camp.


This ^^^ goes for me too. Doesn't bother me here but in RL it did make me cringe.

The closest I've come to calling Mont a furbaby is saying he's "my third child".


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

Cringe. Cringe. Cringe.

I do make jokes to my mum and sister about their "hairy grandchild" and "hairy niece" but it's only to make them cringe too


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## smokeybear (Oct 19, 2011)

I think it is fine as long of course as those who consider themselves "pet parents" refer to their own human offspring as "skinbabies" 

To me it is like people who speak in baby language, not attractive in a supposed adult.

"Oh I wuv my ickle wickle puppy wuppy" insert vomit emoticon.


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

I find it slightly cringeworthy but feel people should be free to call pets what they like without criticism or ridicule. I call my 2 'baby' when I'm talking to them as a term of endearment.


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## Guest (Jul 17, 2016)

Nettles said:


> Cringe. Cringe. Cringe.
> 
> I do make jokes to my mum and sister about their "hairy grandchild" and "hairy niece" but it's only to make them cringe too


Ah see here's why I'm a hypocrite - I sometimes refer to myself as mum, and my mum gets referred to as 'gran' by herself, me and her partner, and her partner is 'Uncle [Name]'. This I have no problem with!


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

Furbaby makes me cringe. I just don't get it.

I've heard the term used too often by those who seem to believe that if your dog is your 'Baby', then it doesn't need to be walked, trained, etc.

"Oh, this dog is my Baby. I carry him everywhere and he has loads of outfits". He never goes a walk, but that's not what you do with a Baby, is it?


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## 3dogs2cats (Aug 15, 2012)

While it is certainly not a term I would ever use I can`t say I am to fussed about hearing/reading it. I can`t bear the word cute being used to describe dogs, not bothered about it for other animals but for some reason cute and dogs together puts my teeth on edge!


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

I consider it a term of endearment and doesn't mean people actually believe their dog or cat is the equivalent of a human baby. At the end of the day it's just a word and like any word it's meaning is relative to each individual's perception of that word. If you find it cringeworthy maybe that is because you attribute meaning to it that another person using it doesn't. After all, it's a made up word and even words that appear in dictionaries can carry different connotations for different people, that is why there are so many disagreements on forums because we all interpret the written word in different ways.

I also feel it is a bit crass to ridicule people for the language they choose to use. My pets are referred to using lots of different names: Muckflea, Trumpstix, Trumpers, Hairy Arses, Mr Pantaloons, to name a few. It's neither childish or warped, it's just what people do. It doesn't make someone superior just because they choose not to have pet names or because they don't say my icky puppy.


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## Acidic Angel (May 8, 2012)

Me and my OH are weird with this.

We refer to ourselves as "mummy" and "daddy" for Sox and Tiger, but we don't "mean" it? I don't know how to explain it. Like for example, my OH will come home from work and the cats will meow at him so he says "Aww did you miss daddy?" and fusses them. If I hear him coming up the stairs I say "Daddies home!".
Other times my OH will say "Has mummy got you some new treats?" when I come home with something for them.

However, we never use the term "furbaby" or "furchild" for them, despite both of us calling them "baby" sometimes. Example I'll cuddle Sox and say "Aww are you my baby?" and he'll "prrp!" at me and mew softly.
Again we never "mean" it... It's really hard to explain, it really is.. I can't even explain it to myself. I can understand and tolerate what we do, but I can't tolerate "furbaby" or "furchild"... That doesn't mean I'll tell people to stop using it though, that's there choice. It just isn't something I do? Maybe tolerate is the wrong word to use in this situation, I'm tired lol.

We own reptiles as well, people on facebook groups regularly call them "scalebabies"- And I'm sat here like "...No.".


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

It really doesn't bother me, what people call their pets is totally up to them and none of my business.


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## Guest (Jul 17, 2016)

smokeybear said:


> "Oh I wuv my ickle wickle puppy wuppy" insert vomit emoticon.


:Vomit:Vomit:Vomit
Here ya go. 


Can't stand it either. 
But I don't have 'cute' dogs who elicit that kind of response.


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## Guest (Jul 17, 2016)

SusieRainbow said:


> people should be free to call pets what they like without criticism or ridicule.





Sacremist said:


> I also feel it is a bit crass to ridicule people for the language they choose to use.


There is no ridicule involved. If people call their pet a furbaby it makes me inwardly cringe, but outwardly I don't say or do anything. 
People are entitled to call their pets whatever they want to call them, but I'm equally entitled to cringe (or not) at terms like furbaby.

Same way I suppose others cringe with all sorts of things I do as a dog owner, like wipe eye boogers with my bare hands, carry treats in my mouth to spit at the dog, and all the other wonderful and wacky things pet owners do.


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

McKenzie said:


> Ah see here's why I'm a hypocrite - I sometimes refer to myself as mum, and my mum gets referred to as 'gran' by herself, me and her partner, and her partner is 'Uncle [Name]'. This I have no problem with!


I've mentioned this before on here and it went down like a lead balloon.. I don't refer to myself as "mum" (which OBVIOUSLY means I don't love my dog ) and I do sometimes correct people who use it when they're talking to Phoebe. Mostly because she looks at them like a muppet :Wacky with her head cocked to one side as she has no idea who/what "mum" is. To her, I'm "Annette" 
It doesn't bother me what other people refer to themselves as though, it's just not a word I chose to use


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

ouesi said:


> There is no ridicule involved. If people call their pet a furbaby it makes me inwardly cringe, but outwardly I don't say or do anything.
> People are entitled to call their pets whatever they want to call them, but I'm equally entitled to cringe (or not) at terms like furbaby.
> 
> Same way I suppose others cringe with all sorts of things I do as a dog owner, like wipe eye boogers with my bare hands, carry treats in my mouth to spit at the dog, and all the other wonderful and wacky things pet owners do.


It's fine to cringe, after all it's an emotional response that you cannot always control. I cringe when I sense people feel superior to others.


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> I consider it a term of endearment and doesn't mean people actually believe their dog or cat is the equivalent of a human baby. At the end of the day it's just a word and like any word it's meaning is relative to each individual's perception of that word. If you find it cringeworthy maybe that is because you attribute meaning to it that another person using it doesn't. After all, it's a made up word and even words that appear in dictionaries can carry different connotations for different people, that is why there are so many disagreements on forums because we all interpret the written word in different ways.
> 
> I also feel it is a bit crass to ridicule people for the language they choose to use. My pets are referred to using lots of different names: Muckflea, Trumpstix, Trumpers, Hairy Arses, Mr Pantaloons, to name a few. It's neither childish or warped, it's just what people do. It doesn't make someone superior just because they choose not to have pet names or because they don't say my icky puppy.


I don't think anyone is being crass and ridiculing people who use the term. It's just a matter of opinion which is what the OP asked for.
I cringe at the word "furbaby" and I choose not to use it. I also cringe at the word "chillax" and choose not to use that either. It's got nothing to do with my perceptions of the word or what meaning I attribute to it.. I just have an opinion, and that is that it makes me cringe


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## Guest (Jul 17, 2016)

Nettles said:


> I also cringe at the word "chillax" and choose not to use that either.


Ha ha! I use chillax all the time! (I have teenagers  )


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

ouesi said:


> Ha ha! I use chillax all the time! (I have teenagers  )


I think chillax might even be more cringeworthy to me than furbaby  Or "totes" is another one :Wtf I can feel the heeby jeebies just typing it lol.
I use the word "dude" a lot which seems to make lots of people cringe


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## Guest (Jul 17, 2016)

Nettles said:


> I think chillax might even be more cringeworthy to me than furbaby  Or "totes" is another one :Wtf I can feel the heeby jeebies just typing it lol.
> I use the word "dude" a lot which seems to make lots of people cringe


Dude is a staple! How can you not use dude?! 
Totes is totally a context word to me. If you're trying to be cool and use it, major fail, but if you use it jokingly it's fine 

Love language!


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Nettles said:


> I don't think anyone is being crass and ridiculing people who use the term. It's just a matter of opinion which is what the OP asked for.
> I cringe at the word "furbaby" and I choose not to use it. I also cringe at the word "chillax" and choose not to use that either. It's got nothing to do with my perceptions of the word or what meaning I attribute to it.. I just have an opinion, and that is that it makes me cringe


So what is it about those words that makes you cringe? Words like 'dude' make me cringe and I hate the fact the definition of the word 'mean' used to be 'miserly' but now it has the American definition of being 'nasty', but my reason for that is because it is an Americanism that is invading British English. I chose the word 'invading' carefully because that is what it feels like to me as if these American words are invading and corrupting British English.

When it comes to language, I'm a bit of a purist and I want British English to remain British. I'm fighting a losing battle, of course, but I'll never stop disliking it.


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## westie~ma (Mar 16, 2009)

Nettles said:


> I've mentioned this before on here and it went down like a lead balloon.. I don't refer to myself as "mum" (which OBVIOUSLY means I don't love my dog ) and I do sometimes correct people who use it when they're talking to Phoebe. Mostly because she looks at them like a muppet :Wacky with her head cocked to one side as she has no idea who/what "mum" is. To her, I'm "Annette"
> It doesn't bother me what other people refer to themselves as though, it's just not a word I chose to use


I do refer to myself as "Mam" to Mont, "See, Mam always comes back" after leaving him. Heck its in my name for here. My husband is Dad "Is Dad home?" "Where's Dad?" but that's cos we have children and is more habit really, seems odd to use my husband's name when I talk to the dog ... which I do a lot.


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

ouesi said:


> Dude is a staple! How can you not use dude?!
> Totes is totally a context word to me. If you're trying to be cool and use it, major fail, but if you use it jokingly it's fine
> 
> Love language!


I started using dude jokingly.. I would say 'sup dude? and hey homeslice! to my teenage nephew coz I'm soooo not cool enough to use words like that 
Dude has just kind of stuck now..


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

I use dude like Chandler on Friends 
If someone does something I object to, I say “dude!!”
Like just now Bates decided to jump up on the sofa next to me ungracefully smacking my laptop and digging his elbow in to my leg, 
me: “Dude! Chillax will ya?!”


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> So what is it about those words that makes you cringe? Words like 'dude' make me cringe and I hate the fact the definition of the word 'mean' used to be 'miserly' but now it has the American definition of being 'nasty', but my reason for that is because it is an Americanism that is invading British English. I chose the word 'invading' carefully because that is what it feels like to me as if these American words are invading and corrupting British English.
> 
> When it comes to language, I'm a bit of a purist and I want British English to remain British. I'm fighting a losing battle, of course, but I'll never stop disliking it.


I've no idea why they make me cringe, they just do. Probably because they're cool and I'm not cool enough to use them 
I also have a weird issue with the British pronunciation of "schedule" to the point it makes me feel physically sick.
I'm just a freak


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

westie~ma said:


> I do refer to myself as "Mam" to Mont, "See, Mam always comes back" after leaving him. Heck its in my name for here. My husband is Dad "Is Dad home?" "Where's Dad?" but that's cos we have children and is more habit really, seems odd to use my husband's name when I talk to the dog ... which I do a lot.


I talk to Phoebe all day long. Sometimes I even answer on her behalf


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

ouesi said:


> I use dude like Chandler on Friends
> If someone does something I object to, I say "dude!!"
> Like just now Bates decided to jump up on the sofa next to me ungracefully smacking my laptop and digging his elbow in to my leg,
> me: "Dude! Chillax will ya?!"


Oh yep, dude is multifunctional. "Dude! Seriously?" is a common one when Phoebe is being a tit.

If I'm trying to be super cool though, I'll use 'sup dude while I drop one shoulder and make a "westside" with my fingers :Hilarious


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Nettles said:


> I've no idea why they make me cringe, they just do. Probably because they're cool and I'm not cool enough to use them
> I also have a weird issue with the British pronunciation of "schedule" to the point it makes me feel physically sick.
> I'm just a freak


You sound like my sister. She had freaky ideas when it came to language. She hated words like 'lad' and British phrases like 'nitty gritty'. We once got into an argument over the words Conch Shell. She insisted I should refer to it only as a shell. I understand your dislike of the British pronunciation of schedule. Not that it bothers me but many American pronunciations grate on my nerves too, but coming from Americans it is somehow acceptable, but in a British accent it definitely makes me cringe.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Sacremist said:


> So what is it about those words that makes you cringe? Words like 'dude' make me cringe and I hate the fact the definition of the word 'mean' used to be 'miserly' but now it has the American definition of being 'nasty', but my reason for that is because it is an Americanism that is invading British English. I chose the word 'invading' carefully because that is what it feels like to me as if these American words are invading and corrupting British English.
> 
> When it comes to language, I'm a bit of a purist and I want British English to remain British. I'm fighting a losing battle, of course, but I'll never stop disliking it.





Sacremist said:


> I cringe when I sense people feel superior to others.


So do you make yourself cringe? 

I jest, in case you can't tell  
I meant for this to be a fun/relaxed thread. 
I'm a total grammar nazi myself, so I get it - the being a purist part.


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> You sound like my sister. She had freaky ideas when it came to language. She hated words like 'lad' and British phrases like 'nitty gritty'. We once got into an argument over the words Conch Shell. She insisted I should refer to it only as a shell. I understand your dislike of the British pronunciation of schedule. Not that it bothers me but many American pronunciations grate on my nerves too, but coming from Americans it is somehow acceptable, but in a British accent it definitely makes me cringe.


I've never heard of a conch shell :Shy Accent plays a huge part for me. I'm in NI so a word like "lad" in a Northern Irish accent sounds awful :Shifty yet used with an English accent, it's quite a nice word.
Language is fascinating


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

From time to time I do make myself cringe, but that's because I'm very aware of my limitations and flaws and question myself constantly. I cannot say that I have no regrets; I have lots of regrets. I'm far from perfect, I can't change the past. I can only try and do better in the future. I learn every day.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

smokeybear said:


> I think it is fine as long of course as those who consider themselves "pet parents" refer to their own human offspring as "skinbabies"


I have actually seen this used somewhere online before  'Skinchild' I think it was. Quite discomfiting.

Furbaby does make me cringe, I am quite daft with my dogs though and talk to them and coo over them a fair bit. At the end of the day though I am their owner not their mother.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

As for Americanisms, they don't bother me as such but some things sound silly in a British accent - I keep hearing young people (God, that makes me sound old) say 'awesome', not in the original sense but usually referring to something totally mundane, and I just want to tell them to STFU :Muted Actually not all of them are young and that makes it so much worse. Like one of those 'cool teachers'.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

picaresque said:


> At the end of the day though I am their owner not their mother.


Are you assuming that people who use the term furbaby think they are their pet's mother? If so, I question that assumption. I call my pets Trumpers that doesn't mean I think they are bundles of gas. My dog is referred to as Muckflea, I don't believe she is a real flea. This last sentence in your post is the attitude I was challenging earlier. If you cringe because you believe the people using the term think their pet is their child, then maybe the problem lies not with the term furbaby or with the people who use it, but with your interpretation of its meaning, I know lots of people who use the term furbaby and not one of them has ever given me the impression they believe their pet is a child.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

ouesi said:


> I meant for this to be a fun/relaxed thread..


Well you asked which category people are in and I'm discussing those categories.


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> Are you assuming that people who use the term furbaby think they are their pet's mother? If so, I question that assumption. I call my pets Trumpers that doesn't mean I think they are bundles of gas. My dog is referred to as Muckflea, I don't believe she is a real flea. This last sentence in your post is the attitude I was challenging earlier. If you cringe because you believe the people using the term think their pet is their child, then maybe the problem lies not with the term furbaby or with the people who use it, but with your interpretation of its meaning, I know lots of people who use the term furbaby and not one of them has ever given me the impression they believe their pet is s child.


Why does the problem lie anywhere? There is no problem. You are making assumptions yet accusing others of making assumptions about the meaning of the word furbaby. Chillax  It's all just a bit of fun


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Sacremist said:


> *Are you assuming that people who use the term furbaby think they are their pet's mother?* If so, I question that assumption. I call my pets Trumpers that doesn't mean I think they are bundles of gas. My dog is referred to as Muckflea, I don't believe she is a real flea. This last sentence in your post is the attitude I was challenging earlier. If you cringe because you believe the people using the term think their pet is their child, then maybe the problem lies not with the term furbaby or with the people who use it, but with your interpretation of its meaning, I know lots of people who use the term furbaby and not one of them has ever given me the impression they believe their pet is a child.


Not necessarily. TBF you're making rather a lot of assumptions yourself.


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## spotty cats (Jul 24, 2012)

Furbaby isn't a term I use, but it doesn't bother me. I've only seen it online, never heard anyone IRL use the term.

I am not mum to my cats either, but I am Granny to all kittens while they are here :Shy


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Sacremist said:


> Are you assuming that people who use the term furbaby think they are their pet's mother? If so, I question that assumption. I call my pets Trumpers that doesn't mean I think they are bundles of gas. My dog is referred to as Muckflea, I don't believe she is a real flea. This last sentence in your post is the attitude I was challenging earlier. If you cringe because you believe the people using the term think their pet is their child, then maybe the problem lies not with the term furbaby or with the people who use it, but with your interpretation of its meaning, I know lots of people who use the term furbaby and not one of them has ever given me the impression they believe their pet is a child.


But that's just it - language is totally wrapped up in who we are. We deduce meaning from our prior experiences, so how I interpret a word is different to how you interpret a word, because we have lived completely different lives. And everyone's interpretations are valid, because it's how each of us perceieve the world. Some people cringe at furbaby (or 'schedule', or my most cringeworthy word, 'moist') and some people don't. It doesn't mean that anyone is right or wrong, it just means that they're human.


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

McKenzie said:


> But that's just it - language is totally wrapped up in who we are. We deduce meaning from our prior experiences, so how I interpret a word is different to how you interpret a word, because we have lived completely different lives. And everyone's interpretations are valid, because it's how each of us perceieve the world. Some people cringe at furbaby (or 'schedule', or my most cringeworthy word, 'moist') and some people don't. It doesn't mean that anyone is right or wrong, it just means that they're human.


Can't believe I forgot about "moist" :Wtf


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Nettles said:


> Can't believe I forgot about "moist" :Wtf


I know, right? :Vomit


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## Matrod (Dec 22, 2014)

Furbabies totes makes me cringe too  although I am mummy to the cats & my mum is their granny . 

The thing that really makes me cringe is people calling each other 'babes', ughhh :Stop


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## Brrosa (Mar 21, 2016)

I've only seen furbabies used on a pet forum and never heard it spoken. If someone used furchild that would make me cringe.


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

Don't say I like the term very much, not that it bothers me on here.

I do called Dillon, Mommy's Little Baby when we are on our own.


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## smokeybear (Oct 19, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> I consider it a term of endearment and doesn't mean people actually believe their dog or cat is the equivalent of a human baby. At the end of the day it's just a word and like any word it's meaning is relative to each individual's perception of that word. If you find it cringeworthy maybe that is because you attribute meaning to it that another person using it doesn't. After all, it's a made up word and even words that appear in dictionaries can carry different connotations for different people, that is why there are so many disagreements on forums because we all interpret the written word in different ways.
> 
> I also feel it is a bit crass to ridicule people for the language they choose to use. My pets are referred to using lots of different names: Muckflea, Trumpstix, Trumpers, Hairy Arses, Mr Pantaloons, to name a few. It's neither childish or warped, it's just what people do. It doesn't make someone superior just because they choose not to have pet names or because they don't say my icky puppy.


Oh dear

Do get over yourself love.

I believe the majority of us are not under the impression that there are a lot of seriously deluded people out there who truly believe that their pets are the fruit of their loins.

that would really be cringeworthy.

Also individuals are not being ridiculed.

Do not be so crass.

It is the term and language that is being used.

Subtle but important difference.

In your opinion such language is not childish, in the opinion of others it is.

We are all entitled to our opinions.

I am not sure why you have introduced the idea that because some of us feel a particular term or way of speaking is cringeworthy it therefore makes us feel superior?

Er no.


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## Dimwit (Nov 10, 2011)

Nettles said:


> I don't think anyone is being crass and ridiculing people who use the term. It's just a matter of opinion which is what the OP asked for.
> I cringe at the word "furbaby" and I choose not to use it.* I also cringe at the word "chillax"* and choose not to use that either. It's got nothing to do with my perceptions of the word or what meaning I attribute to it.. I just have an opinion, and that is that it makes me cringe


Oh, don't get me started on the horror that is "chillax" (one word that is guaranteed to send my blood pressure soaring )
I am also in the cringe camp for furbaby. Mind you, I don't tend to go in for cutesy nicknames either (he is generally known as dimwit or g*tdog). I also don't refer to myself as "mum" but my sister refers to him as her dog-nephew and my parents call him their grandpuppy


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

It upsets and offends me, I would also be asking for my money back from the IVF clinic if Molly was to be my child. She's a dog. An awesome one but she's my dog!

It isn't a word according to the OED I don't think?

I'm the Mrs Human and she knows my other half is nicknamed 'Ticker'. My parents just call her Molly or in my dad's case 'my favourite furry friend'


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## Fleur (Jul 19, 2008)

I have one friend who refers to her dog as baby calls herself and her partner mum and dad.
Another friend who is adamant that her dog is called by name or the dog and her and her partner are the dogs owners not her parent.
Both love and care for the dogs - neither one is better or worse.
Both treat their dogs as dogs and accept that they do revolting doggie stuff like jumping in stagnant pools, eating and rolling in sh1t etc.

Weirdly at my house my Hubby who is adamant he is not "dad" to the dogs refers to me as mum 

Yes words make me cringe internally, some words I choose not to use myself if I can help it.
Our families favourite phrase - obviously used ironically  - is "totes lime green jello"


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

I don't really care what people call them, people probably would be horrified at the horrible names I call my lot, it's mostly insults as I don't like mawkishness.

The fleabags don't seem to mind 

The only things that make me cringe a little are when people use 'Full time mummy' as their occupation on Facebook (sorry, being a parent, while admittedly challenging, is a lifestyle choice, not a form of employment), or have things like 'Proudmummy' or 'Kayden&Chlamydiasmummy' inserted into their name.



smokeybear said:


> *I think it is fine as long of course as those who consider themselves "pet parents" refer to their own human offspring as "skinbabies"*
> 
> To me it is like people who speak in baby language, not attractive in a supposed adult.
> 
> "Oh I wuv my ickle wickle puppy wuppy" insert vomit emoticon.


I've been known to do just that, refer to the sprogs as my 'fleshbabies' & 'furbabies' in passing convo, more because I find the looks of horror on many peoples' faces amusing than my actual sentiments, but I'm a sarcastic bastard.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Couldn't care less what people call their pets tbh.

One person who used the term on the forum the other day was corrected by someone else, which I think was rude and unnecessary and a little "superior".

I use all sorts of silly language all the time.

OH is Scrunchy Lumps, DS (6' plus 19 yo) is Mummy's Little Angel, Jack is Squiddly McDiddly - to name a few! 

Referring to Jack as his "hairy brother" is a good way of tormenting my DS, especially when I get their names mixed up too! 

It's all light hearted nonsense! 

So long as the animal is treated right, it's not an issue for me.


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## TallulahCat (Dec 31, 2015)

I don't like the word "furbaby," and therefore I don't use it myself. You can if you like though. 

I consider my cat to be my friend and I nickname him "Buddy," but will also call him "Baby," as a term of endearment. If he's been less endearing I also have more offensive names for him too.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

I call my dogs all sorts of silly names too, I also find myself speaking to them as if they were naughty toddlers. What can I say?


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

At no point did anyone say that people shouldn't use the term furbabies, just that it makes some people cringe.

People can call their pets whatever they like - I don't know why some people are defensive about terms they use.


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## Jamesgoeswalkies (May 8, 2014)

I associate the term Furbaby with a Furby so whenever i hear the term, I tend to think fluffy toy rather than hairy offspring 










Though maybe some dogs do look like a Furby ...I don't know.......

J


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

Sacremist said:


> So what is it about those words that makes you cringe? Words like 'dude' make me cringe and I hate the fact the definition of the word 'mean' used to be 'miserly' but now it has the American definition of being 'nasty', but my reason for that is because it is an Americanism that is invading British English. I chose the word 'invading' carefully because that is what it feels like to me as if these American words are invading and corrupting British English.
> 
> When it comes to language,* I'm a bit of a purist and I want British English to remain British. * I'm fighting a losing battle, of course, but I'll never stop disliking it.


I just want to point something out as a long-term studier of the English Language at all its levels. To want the British English to remain British goes against the very creation of English itself, it is not and has never been a pure language right from its conception.

A great deal of the Language we use in everyday life has been 'kidnapped' if you will from several other languages, we have very few original 'British' (or Celtic if you prefer) words in the English language but we do have several with their origins in French, Norse, Japanese, Spanish, Greek, Chinese etc. And that's just the words! 

The Language will change. It's part of what makes English great


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

@ouesi

I don't say furbaby but I do talk to Bear in a funny voice sometimes because it makes him woo at me


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

I'm another who tends to use 'furbaby' in writing, but not in real life. (And like JGW it also reminds me of 'Furby') To me, it's an affectionate pet name, and it's a friendly way of asking after someone's pets - I think it sounds nicer than 'how are the cats and dogs?' if you can't remember their names (or it would take too long to list them all!) It's no different to using any other nickname for my dog (e.g. Cuddle Monster).

I plead guilty to referring to my mother as the dog's 'grandma', but only because the look on her face when she hears me do it is so funny 

However I refer to my dog, she is not a substitute child. But I do have friends who are unable to have kids and who regard their dogs and cats as substitute children, and I don't have a problem with it. If it helps them, that's wonderful, though it wouldn't work for me.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Jamesgoeswalkies said:


> I associate the term Furbaby with a Furby so whenever i hear the term, I tend to think fluffy toy rather than hairy offspring
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Those things are creepy looking.

*shudders*


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

ouesi said:


> There is no ridicule involved. If people call their pet a furbaby it makes me inwardly cringe, but outwardly I don't say or do anything.
> People are entitled to call their pets whatever they want to call them, but I'm equally entitled to cringe (or not) at terms like furbaby.
> 
> Same way I suppose others cringe with all sorts of things I do as a dog owner, like wipe eye boogers with my bare hands, carry treats in my mouth to spit at the dog, and all the other wonderful and wacky things pet owners do.


Just saying , a poster was obviously quite offended recently when she was criticised for calling her dog a fur baby. 
Re the eye boogers my OH wipes them off the dogs with his fingers and _tries to give them to me ! _


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

Io and Bigby are my furbabies :Smug :Smug :Smug Bear is my furdevil child :Arghh


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

ouesi said:


> Spin off from a comment in a thread in dog chat. Just for a bit of fun.
> 
> Does the term furbaby make you cringe?
> Don't care either way?
> ...


It doesn't bother me really when others use it about their own, but I would never use it to refer to my animals. Muttly isn't my 'furbaby' no.

But I do refer to myself as 'Mum'

I do some pretty gross things that makes OH cringe. Yesterday I put my finger in his cow hoof to mush up the frozen yoghurt a bit after he had licked it, then licked it off my finger


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## Fleur (Jul 19, 2008)

@ouesi eye boogers are removed by hand here too - nails are best for removing the crusty ones


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

SusieRainbow said:


> Just saying , a poster was obviously quite offended recently when she was criticised for calling her dog a fur baby.


I must have missed that thread and now I'm curious... or just shamelessly nosy


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## Blaise in Surrey (Jun 10, 2014)

Cringe cringe cringe!


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

Fleur said:


> @ouesi eye boogers are removed by hand here too - nails are best for removing the crusty ones


Of course, wouldn't really think of doing it any other way


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

You people with eye boogers :Wtf:Vomit:Wtf:Vomit

I use a piece of tissue because I will have a pack of tissues on me 99.9% of the time!


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

Fleur said:


> @ouesi eye boogers are removed by hand here too - nails are best for removing the crusty ones


Same


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## ForestWomble (May 2, 2013)

I don't use the word, but am not bothered by others using it. For as long as the animal is treated right I couldn't care less what people call their pets.

Bungo gets called all sorts of things, but 'baby' or 'furbaby' are two words I never use. 

My parents refer to me as Mum to Bungo, but I never refer myself as such to him.

One thing that does make me cringe and I use it as little as possible is 'owner', I never refer to myself as Bungos owner, it doesn't feel right to me.


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

Animallover26 said:


> I don't use the word, but am not bothered by others using it. For as long as the animal is treated right I couldn't care less what people call their pets.
> 
> Bungo gets called all sorts of things, but 'baby' or 'furbaby' are two words I never use.
> 
> ...


I know what you mean AL. I don't view them as property like 'owner' suggests. I think 'guardian' is better.
I was quite shocked and sad to learn that Bailiffs attending a Horse Stud Business would treat the actual horses as 'assets' and they were included as part of the inventory to sell


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

ouesi said:


> There is no ridicule involved. If people call their pet a furbaby it makes me inwardly cringe, but outwardly I don't say or do anything.
> People are entitled to call their pets whatever they want to call them, but I'm equally entitled to cringe (or not) at terms like furbaby.
> 
> Same way I suppose others cringe with all sorts of things I do as a dog owner, like wipe eye boogers with my bare hands, *carry treats in my mouth to spit at the dog, *and all the other wonderful and wacky things pet owners do.


 You spit treats at your dog? Don't the treats go all mushy in your mouth and you end up with tripe breath or something 



McKenzie said:


> But that's just it - language is totally wrapped up in who we are. We deduce meaning from our prior experiences, so how I interpret a word is different to how you interpret a word, because we have lived completely different lives. And everyone's interpretations are valid, because it's how each of us perceieve the world. Some people cringe at furbaby (or 'schedule', or my most cringeworthy word, 'moist') and some people don't. It doesn't mean that anyone is right or wrong, it just means that they're human.


Another one who cringes and toe curls at 'moist', to the point I almost stopped watching Masterchef because they are always banging on about the meat being 'moist' :Yuck:Yuck

As for Furbaby I don't use the term myself and do shudder a little when I hear/see it used but it doesn't bother me too much. I call Indie my "baby" all the time but I also call her a great hulk, an old bag and the beast - none of which should be taken literally.


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## ForestWomble (May 2, 2013)

Muttly said:


> I know what you mean AL. I don't view them as property like 'owner' suggests. I think 'guardian' is better.
> I was quite shocked and sad to learn that Bailiffs attending a Horse Stud Business would treat the actual horses as 'assets' and they were included as part of the inventory to sell


Guardian, yes I like that term, I hate the term owner as, as you said, it makes them sound like property, but I struggled to think of a different word, from now on I shall say I'm his guardian  (The best I could come up with was I was his human)


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

Animallover26 said:


> Guardian, yes I like that term, I hate the term owner as, as you said, it makes them sound like property, but I struggled to think of a different word, from now on I shall say I'm his guardian  (The best I could come up with was I was his human)


I use that too when talking about what he's thinking sometimes "Muttly says he loves his humans" 

I once dared to refer to OH as 'Dad' when talking to Muttly, oops! didn't go down well :Hilarious


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## quagga (Jun 11, 2014)

I don't say furbaby myself, I tend to say 'the dogs' or refer to them by name but TBH I couldn't care less if other people do!

I sometimes call Casper 'baby puppy' and 'puppy dog' cos he's still very puppy like and goes all wiggly when I speak to him in a high pitched voice, but I use the same voice when he's acting like an idiot to say things like 'who's being a little sh**?'


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

People can call their pets whatever they like. It's not for me to judge what's either acceptable or unacceptable to me. It's whatever affectionate term is appropriate to that pet owner and endears them to their pet.

Despite the fact that he's fully grown, I still refer to Oscar as 'Pup' and I couldn't really give a toss what anybody else thinks because it's none of their Nosey Parker interfering business.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

I agree that owner can sound a bit, I don't know, impersonal when most of us consider our dogs as family (I certainly do, they make me happy unlike my deeply dysfunctional human family) but in reality that is what I am. Guardian is a perfectly good alternative I suppose. I'm trying to remember the term PETA use instead of owner, something laughable imo but that's PETA for you...


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

picaresque said:


> Not necessarily. TBF you're making rather a lot of assumptions yourself.


Did you read your last line? I'm not making assumptions, you actually stated it.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

McKenzie said:


> But that's just it - language is totally wrapped up in who we are. We deduce meaning from our prior experiences, so how I interpret a word is different to how you interpret a word, because we have lived completely different lives. And everyone's interpretations are valid, because it's how each of us perceieve the world. Some people cringe at furbaby (or 'schedule', or my most cringeworthy word, 'moist') and some people don't. It doesn't mean that anyone is right or wrong, it just means that they're human.


That's exactly what I said earlier, you are preaching to the converted. However, I don't think this thread is fun as has been suggested. It feels more like a sly, underhand mockery on those who use that language. I'm sure those of you who say it makes you cringe are having fun, but at whose expense? I notice so far not many who use that term have come on to say they do but I'm still working through the rest of the thread so maybe they will. If they don't, why do you think that will be?


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

smokeybear said:


> Oh dear
> 
> Do get over yourself love.
> 
> ...


Well LOVE, you certainly come across like you do!


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

That last line was in relation to me and my dogs and what I said directly before said contentious comment.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Pappychi said:


> I just want to point something out as a long-term studier of the English Language at all its levels. To want the British English to remain British goes against the very creation of English itself, it is not and has never been a pure language right from its conception.
> 
> A great deal of the Language we use in everyday life has been 'kidnapped' if you will from several other languages, we have very few original 'British' (or Celtic if you prefer) words in the English language but we do have several with their origins in French, Norse, Japanese, Spanish, Greek, Chinese etc. And that's just the words!
> 
> The Language will change. It's part of what makes English great


I am aware of this, also as a long time student of the English language, I know language is forever evolving but I don't have to like every change. I still accept I can do nothing about it. Just as I do not like certain words, I accept not everyone likes the word furbaby, but people rarely dislike something without reason and rather than simply assume, as I have been wrongly accused, I have actually asked. I'm still waiting for someone to offer their reasons.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

SusieRainbow said:


> Just saying , a poster was obviously quite offended recently when she was criticised for calling her dog a fur baby.


I totally missed that, this thread was precipitated by a comment on a thread in dog chat where I mentioned the term makes me cringe. I was wondering if it was a dog owner thing or if other pet owners also cringe at the term.

And for the record when I say it makes me cringe, I mean in the same way the term moist makes others cringe, there is no judgement or criticism, it's just the effect the word has on you. 
It's about the word, not about the people who use the word.



rottiepointerhouse said:


> You spit treats at your dog? Don't the treats go all mushy in your mouth and you end up with tripe breath or something


Nah, only cheese gets spit at the dogs. Also a lazy way to not have to cut up the string cheese before using it as training treats


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Look, sometimes I see things said on PF that bother or upset me but usually I just have to let it go. Although if I see one more mention of someone who reckons they're 'a bit OCD' because they keep their CDs in alphabetical order or something... presumably they aren't aware of how that condition can ruin lives. I have seen it in my family. A bit more serious and far reaching than the use of term fur babies though.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Well, when they arrive, I will be referring to the goats at work as my 'goatchildren' after misreading a post by @Pappychi on another thread :Hilarious


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

simplysardonic said:


> Well, when they arrive, I will be referring to the goats at work as my 'goatchildren' after misreading a post by @Pappychi on another thread :Hilarious


I just saw that and it cracked me up!


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

Don't tell me I've accidentally spawned a new saying again :Jawdrop

I did it once when I was in high school and apparently kids STILL say it well over ten years on :Facepalm


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

picaresque said:


> Look, sometimes I see things said on PF that bother or upset me but usually I just have to let it go. Although if I see one more mention of someone who reckons they're 'a bit OCD' because they keep their CDs in alphabetical order or something... presumably they aren't aware of how that condition can ruin lives. I have seen it in my family. A bit more serious and far reaching than the use of term fur babies though.


I agree, 'OCD' has become quite a trendy phrase and I've been guilty of using it as such. For example , I'm the sort of housewife Kim and Aggie would love to help and joke about my OCD being well controlled. But I agree it's a serious and limiting condition and should be recognised as such.
Now, back on topic ......


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Pappychi said:


> Don't tell me I've accidentally spawned a new saying again :Jawdrop
> 
> I did it once when I was in high school and apparently kids STILL say it well over ten years on :Facepalm


Now you have to tell us what that was


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

simplysardonic said:


> Well, when they arrive, I will be referring to the goats at work as my 'goatchildren' after misreading a post by @Pappychi on another thread :Hilarious


Surely that would be 'kids'?


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## Jonescat (Feb 5, 2012)

I don't use furbaby and don't like it as a word. I like the word cat, I am fond of cats, and I am not particularly fond of babies.Mind you, it would be a good score in Scrabble.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Sacremist said:


> I am aware of this, also as a long time student of the English language, I know language is forever evolving but I don't have to like every change. I still accept I can do nothing about it. Just as I do not like certain words, I accept not everyone likes the word furbaby, but people rarely dislike something without reason and rather than simply assume, as I have been wrongly accused, I have actually asked.* I'm still waiting for someone to offer their reasons.*


Mine is because of child loss. I don't feel I have to explain the rest! It's not really a descriptive.

Not all my friends who have endured miscarriage or failed IVF feel that way so it's very individual but for me, no I don't like it. I'm more offended by the inappropriate use of the word 'like' than fur baby!


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Animallover26 said:


> Guardian, yes I like that term, I hate the term owner as, as you said, it makes them sound like property, but I struggled to think of a different word, from now on I shall say I'm his guardian  (The best I could come up with was I was his human)


How about using the word 'friend'? My pets are my friends.


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

Just to clarify.. just because I see my dogs as my 'furbabies' doesn't mean I actually see them as my children  I'm not some deluded case.. I know full well they're dogs ompus ompus :Smuggrin


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

picaresque said:


> Now you have to tell us what that was


I was talking to my best friend about something or other and she asked a question to which I replied - 'I'd rather eat my own liver'.

Someone overheard it and it spread like wildfire. Other friend now teaches at our high school and a kid said it in her class two weeks ago :Hilarious:Inpain


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

I sometimes joke that Gelert is the man in my life. He's not _actually _my boyfriend.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Pappychi said:


> I was talking to my best friend about something or other and she asked a question to which I replied - 'I'd rather eat my own liver'.
> 
> Someone overheard it and it spread like wildfire. Other friend now teaches at our high school and a kid said it in her class two weeks ago :Hilarious:Inpain


Must be nice in a way to have your mark on the world


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Sacremist said:


> I accept not everyone likes the word furbaby, but people rarely dislike something without reason and rather than simply assume, as I have been wrongly accused, I have actually asked. I'm still waiting for someone to offer their reasons.


Why do people dislike the term moist? 
Moist doesn't affect me either way, but furbaby makes me cringe - go figure.

I don't really feel the need to overanalyze it. 
I suspect it probably has to do with the fact that I don't like humanizing dogs anyway as I feel it's disrespectful to their nature as dogs.
And no, that doesn't mean I think people who use the term overly humanize their dogs - some probably do, some don't.

And just to add to the complexity, I'm guilty of humanizing my dogs in some contexts, like I have no issue with putting clothes on them, and some people on here think I shouldn't own dogs if I'm going to put a pink tutu on the great dane for fun and because the contrast between the giant dog and the pink tutu cracks me up. So yeah... Not everything has to make sense, or have nefarious purposes


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## ForestWomble (May 2, 2013)

Sacremist said:


> How about using the word 'friend'? My pets are my friends.


True, he is my best friend after all


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

ouesi said:


> Why do people dislike the term moist?
> Moist doesn't affect me either way, but furbaby makes me cringe - go figure.
> 
> I don't really feel the need to overanalyze it.
> ...


Oh my, I *need* a picture of that. PLEASE !


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

picaresque said:


> That last line was in relation to me and my dogs and what I said directly before said contentious comment.


Yes, you did but it also revealed how you interpret the word furbaby, simply because you made a connection between your behaviour, words etc., and treating them like children. Even though you said you don't see them as children, it begs the question: do you think some people do and do you think those people refer to their pets sad furbabies?


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

picaresque said:


> I sometimes joke that Gelert is the man in my life. He's not _actually _my boyfriend.


Well, _please _let him down gently , he could be very hurt !


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

SusieRainbow said:


> Well, _please _let him down gently , he could be very hurt !


Haha, bless him  Nah, he only has eyes for his Gracie. After four years he still flirts with her sometimes. She's having none of it of course... her mother would be devastated if she got involved with a mongrel.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh my, I *need* a picture that. PLEASE !


I'll have to dig through a very unorganized photo bucket account or search on here, I posted them somewhere I'm sure


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Sacremist said:


> Yes, you did but it also revealed how you interpret the word furbaby, simply because you made a connection between your behaviour, words etc., and treating them like children. Even though you said you don't see them as children, it begs the question: do you think some people do and do you think those people refer to their pets sad furbabies?


Oh for Christ's sake.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

ouesi said:


> I totally missed that, this thread was precipitated by a comment on a thread in dog chat where I mentioned the term makes me cringe. I was wondering if it was a dog owner thing or if other pet owners also cringe at the term.
> 
> And for the record when I say it makes me cringe, I mean in the same way the term moist makes others cringe, there is no judgement or criticism, it's just the effect the word has on you.
> It's about the word, not about the people who use the word.
> ...


Okay, fair enough, maybe it is just coincidence that this thread has been started at the same time as someone on another thread being criticised for their choice of language. In which case maybe there was no sinister underlying intention.


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

picaresque said:


> I sometimes joke that Gelert is the man in my life. He's not _actually _my boyfriend.


If it only it was that easy to find a compatible partner! :Hilarious

My mother is on the edge of a nervous breakdown because I am 24 without a boyfriend and no one on the horizon. All my friends have boyfriends, fiances, and husbands so she thinks I'm going to end up on the shelf along with the other 'soups' nobody wants :Shy


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> Mine is because of child loss. I don't feel I have to explain the rest! It's not really a descriptive.
> 
> Not all my friends who have endured miscarriage or failed IVF feel that way so it's very individual but for me, no I don't like it. I'm more offended by the inappropriate use of the word 'like' than fur baby!


I don't have children either but the word furbaby doesn't bother me in the least. I'm a lot further down the path of childlessness than you, though, so rarely feel the need to share it.


----------



## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Sacremist said:


> That's exactly what I said earlier, you are preaching to the converted. However, I don't think this thread is fun as has been suggested. It feels more like a sly, underhand mockery on those who use that language. I'm sure those of you who say it makes you cringe are having fun, but at whose expense? I notice so far not many who use that term have come on to say they do but I'm still working through the rest of the thread so maybe they will. If they don't, why do you think that will be?


How on earth is it sly/underhand mockery to talk about words that make us cringe? You say those of us who say it makes us cringe are having fun - I don't understand how having a shudder or toe curling moment is having fun, quite the opposite - as with the word "moist" I don't mind writing it but I hate hearing other people say it - no mockery and no fun just makes me shudder in a totally involuntary way.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Pappychi said:


> If it only it was that easy to find a compatible partner! :Hilarious
> 
> My mother is on the edge of a nervous breakdown because I am 24 without a boyfriend and no one on the horizon. All my friends have boyfriends, fiances, and husbands so she thinks I'm going to end up on the shelf along with the other 'soups' nobody wants :Shy


Give me a dog anyday


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> How on earth is it sly/underhand mockery to talk about words that make us cringe? You say those of us who say it makes us cringe are having fun - I don't understand how having a shudder or toe curling moment is having fun, quite the opposite - as with the word "moist" I don't mind writing it but I hate hearing other people say it - no mockery and no fun just makes me shudder in a totally involuntary way.


Someone was criticised on another thread for using the term and this thread appeared soon after. Quesi says she hadn't seen the other thread and this thread is here through pure coincidence. It's a rather unfortunate coincidence, but if she says it is then I accept her word.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

So what is it with schedule?

The pronunciation?

I say 'sked-yool' rather than 'shed-yool'

I had to bring that up as we've got QI running in the background & Stephen Fry pronounced 'tissue' as 'tiss-yoo', whereas I say 'tish-yoo'.

The English language is so entertaining- I have a friend, he's a bit of a brain & he's got an English degree but had never heard anyone say the word 'archipelago' before.

He was reading me an article one day & pronounced it 'Archie-pell-ARR- go', with an emphasis on the 'ARR', almost like a pirate would say it!


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Sacremist said:


> Okay, fair enough, maybe it is just coincidence that this thread has been started at the same time as someone on another thread being criticised for their choice of language. In which case maybe there was no sinister underlying intention.


Oh for Pete's sake.... 
Here is the exact post that made me think to ask on this thread:
http://www.petforums.co.uk/threads/...icle-some-won’t.430321/page-2#post-1064595438
Happy?
I have no idea what you are talking about with someone being criticized for using the term furbaby. This is a busy forum, I don't keep up with every single post made on here. If that happened, it was indeed a coincidence that it coincided with this thread. You'll have to take my word for that.



Sacremist said:


> I don't have children either but the word furbaby doesn't bother me in the least. I'm a lot further down the path of childlessness than you, though, so rarely feel the need to share it.


Wow... I don't even know what to say to this comment. You accuse people are being underhanded and mocking? Yet you go and write something as lacking in empathy as this?

Well... so much for a fun thread


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

I hate to be a rubber necker but would somebody point me to said thread, I'm curious about what exactly was said

ETA - cross posted with ouesi


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Sacremist said:


> Someone was criticised on another thread for using the term and this thread appeared soon after. Quesi says she hadn't seen the other thread and this thread is here through pure coincidence. It's a rather unfortunate coincidence, but if she says it is then I accept her word.


Ouesi with an O, not Q. 
Though this thread is making me queasy... 
Thank you for accepting me at my word.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

picaresque said:


> I hate to be a rubber necker but would somebody point me to said thread, I'm curious about what exactly was said


I couldn't tell you, have no idea. Even did a search on dog forums for the term "furbaby" recently and didn't find any mention except in the link I posted where no one ever said they were upset or offended.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

ouesi said:


> Oh for Pete's sake....
> Here is the exact post that made me think to ask on this thread:
> http://www.petforums.co.uk/threads/some-will-really-like-this-article-some-won't.430321/page-2#post-1064595438
> Happy?
> ...


Why is it lacking in empathy? Far from it, ive just pointed out I'm in the same position. I'm just older and more resigned to it. I find it easier these days not to talk about it.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

ouesi said:


> Ouesi with an O, not Q.
> Though this thread is making me queasy...
> Thank you for accepting me at my word.


Sorry bad eyesight!


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

ouesi said:


> Wow... I don't even know what to say to this comment. You accuse people are being underhanded and mocking? Yet you go and write something as lacking in empathy as this?


Quite.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Sacremist said:


> Why is it lacking in empathy? Far from it, ive just pointed out I'm in the same position. I'm just older and more resigned to it. I find it easier these days not to talk about it.


The "so rarely feel the need to share it" part could be interpreted as meaning that you think the person you quoted shares too much which would of course be extremely insensitive and lacking in empathy. I'm childless too but by choice so obviously my feelings are not the same as others but I totally support anyone who needs/wants to share their feelings on the subject.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Sacremist said:


> Why is it lacking in empathy? Far from it, ive just pointed out I'm in the same position. I'm just older and more resigned to it. I find it easier these days not to talk about it.


I'm not going to speak for Molly, but I'm pretty sure you don't get to say when she will or will not feel the need to share about her childlessness. 
The whole comment came across as dismissive.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

ouesi said:


> I couldn't tell you, have no idea. Even did a search on dog forums for the term "furbaby" recently and didn't find any mention except in the link I posted where no one ever said they were upset or offended.


Does anyone know what thread @Sacremist is talking about where someone was criticized for using the term furbaby?


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

It doesn't do anything for me. However, when I hear someone use a term of endearment like that it just makes me feel all warm and content that that pet is loved that much. Seriously, I don't get why people are so 'offended' or whatever by anyone calling their pet as such. It doesn't harm anyone, so what?

The only time I felt a little embarrassed about was when an old forum friend referred to her ( and other people's pets ) as their 'kids'. So she would comment on a pic or something and say 'your kids are adorable', and referred to her own dogs as her sons/daughters.


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

I have to agree with @rottiepointerhouse although I come from a slightly different angle.

My background is from a travelling Showmen culture where women tend to marry and have children young, at 24 I am at the age where I should be married and thinking of having children but I am not. They won't say it to my face but I have heard some of the older generation whisper between themselves -

'Does no one want her?'
'There must be something wrong for no boys to be interested in her'
'She'll be alone all her life. You watch'.

To them, I lack the two key components that make me a woman. I don't have an identity because I am unmarried and without children.

I rarely talk about it because my ex was such an ass. I often wonder was he right, do I have no personality? Am I boring? Dull? Unattractive?

However, I have to say dismissive comments about people's childlessness whether through choice or circumstance should really be kept to oneself. It is a sensitive subject and if it helps for people to sit and talk about it whether online or face to face I believe they should be allowed to do so in a non-judgemental environment.


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

ouesi said:


> Does anyone know what thread @Sacremist is talking about where someone was criticized for using the term furbaby?


The only one I know of recently, which wasn't a criticism, was the post from a new member about her smelly pups, and I think it was @Sweety who randomly said they're not furbabies in reply to the OP.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Dogloverlou said:


> The only one I know of recently, which wasn't a criticism, was the post from a new member about her smelly pups, and I think it was @Sweety who randomly said they're not furbabies in reply to the OP.


Thank you, off to look


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

Nettles said:


> I think chillax might even be more cringeworthy to me than furbaby  Or "totes" is another one :Wtf I can feel the heeby jeebies just typing it lol.
> I use the word "dude" a lot which seems to make lots of people cringe


Ha! me and my sister and my old friends back in Bristol all use "dude" makes OH cringe. Aren't 'totes' those really warm socks?


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

picaresque said:


> Look, sometimes I see things said on PF that bother or upset me but usually I just have to let it go. Although if I see one more mention of someone who reckons they're 'a bit OCD' because they keep their CDs in alphabetical order or something... presumably they aren't aware of how that condition can ruin lives. I have seen it in my family. A bit more serious and far reaching than the use of term fur babies though.


Oh god yes! Or those who say 'I'm so depressed today' without really thinking of the suffering that people with true depression feel day in and day out!


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Dogloverlou said:


> The only one I know of recently, which wasn't a criticism, was the post from a new member about her smelly pups, and I think it was @Sweety who randomly said they're not furbabies in reply to the OP.


Okay, just read the thread - 5 pages deep in to dog chat, so hardly recent. 
Unless it has been edited, I don't see the problem? The poster said "what's wrong with calling them fur babies?" and 3 people replied there was nothing wrong with it and that was that. No evidence that the poster was criticized or hurt or offended?

Anyway....
I meant for this to be a lighthearted thread and it has taken some strange turns. 
Hopefully it will get back to the levity of goatchildren (that was really funny) but I'm not going to force it either way


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Dogloverlou said:


> Oh god yes! Or those who say 'I'm so depressed today' without really thinking of the suffering that people with true depression feel day in and day out!


It's really grating, the casual use of OCD in particular because it's often used in a jokey manner and with a total lack of understanding of the realities of the condition and the different ways it can manifest itself. And it can ruin lives, I am actually living it right now (it's a close family member although I have traits too which I fear will develop as that's usually how it goes). So it can be hard to sit on my hands. However I try to be aware that I might be flippant and insensitive without realising it about other things that don't affect me.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Pappychi said:


> I have to agree with @rottiepointerhouse although I come from a slightly different angle.
> 
> My background is from a travelling Showmen culture where women tend to marry and have children young, at 24 I am at the age where I should be married and thinking of having children but I am not. They won't say it to my face but I have heard some of the older generation whisper between themselves -
> 
> ...


Did you read Jennifer Aniston's article in the Huffington Post recently?
It was a well written piece on how women are judged. Let me see if I can find it


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

ouesi said:


> Hopefully it will get back to the levity of goatchildren (that was really funny) but I'm not going to force it either way


:Bawling:Bawling:Bawling:Bawling:Bawling:Bawling

@simplysardonic

I blame you for this! :Mooning


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

ouesi said:


> Did you read Jennifer Aniston's article in the Huffington Post recently?
> It was a well written piece on how women are judged. Let me see if I can find it


No I haven't but I did write a piece about it whilst doing my Masters 

In my culture, I've seen women marry men they don't love (by their own admittance!) after a few months because it's the 'done thing' :Banghead


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

@Pappychi 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/for-the-record_us_57855586e4b03fc3ee4e626f


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

@Pappychi, you're five years younger than me and from the sound of it, single or otherwise you really have your shit together which I have yet to manage. I hope this doesn't come across as trite but don't let annoying relatives get you down.


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## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Haven't read all the replies yet, (or, as my tablet interpreted my typing: herepkies :Wideyed  ), for fear of losing my trail of thought, but once I've posted this, I'll go back and read through what I've missed (warning, this might get deep).

I don't consider my pets as my "furbabies", but I do call them baby, on occasion as an endearment. I also, occasionally, refer to myself as Mum - not because I believe they are my children, but because, to me, it sounds infinitely more intimate than "owner", which objectifies them. "Human", especially used in the context of "Their Human", implies that I am owned by them, which is also impersonal and objectifies myself.

So Mum-baby implies, to me, that there exists an emotional bond between me and my dogs. Nothing more, nothing less. I worry about them as minors in my family when I am gone for more than just a work day. I accept the responsibility of providing for their care needs like a parent does a child.But I treat them as the dogs they are. They are minors in my family - not objects, but not responsible for me or my care needs either, which to me, is implied by the term "slave" or "Their Human".

Perhaps a more appropriate, politically correct term would be to refer to myself as their "care giver" or carer, but that, to me, is cringe-worthy too, because I'm a professional carer, and my relationship with my dogs is more than a professional one.

Furbaby is not a term I personally use. Furchild is even worse. I can't remember hearing it in RL, so I don't know how I would respond. Maybe it would depend on the day and my emotional status, but on here, it's not something that is going to bother me.

Atm, there is a lot going on personally, and it's left me emotionally draines, so I'm not sure anything would really filter through anyway.


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## steveshanks (Feb 19, 2015)

As far as i care you can call your dog anything you want including moist  but please please stop saying barth or plarsterer it is bath and plasterer ......adding the R to the pronunciation was a trend or affliction a few centuries ago and its time it stopped. Us north of Hadrian's wall had the sense not to join in these silly trends 
PS just kiddin


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

ouesi said:


> Okay, just read the thread - 5 pages deep in to dog chat, so hardly recent.
> Unless it has been edited, I don't see the problem? The poster said "what's wrong with calling them fur babies?" and 3 people replied there was nothing wrong with it and that was that. No evidence that the poster was criticized or hurt or offended?
> 
> Anyway....
> ...


But there was equally no need to pick up on that. It had nothing to do with the thread topic in question. So it was a bit uncalled for IMO.

If I started a thread and used terms such as 'my babies are feeling hot today' or whatever, I'm pretty sure no one would comment on my wording 

Just reading back through the thread quickly, I notice that quite a few say it makes them cringe because 'my dog is not a child' or similar. And I always find that tends to be the opinion of those who cringe at people who use such endearments - that they're all slightly nuts and genuinely believe they have forgot they own dogs? :Hilarious


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

I think when I get home I am going to dress both dogs up in nappies and buy them a dummy each :Nailbiting










:Smuggrin :Smuggrin :Smuggrin :Smuggrin 

Though in all seriousness.. people can call their dogs whatever they want as its none of anyone elses business  if only people heard half the names I could Bigby at times


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## Biffo (Mar 14, 2016)

Not bothered by furbaby, however, "sangwich" no. No. No. IT IS SANDWICH. DDDDD. Clearly nothing to do with dogs, but it really bothers me when a family member does this. I get a weird tick blinky thing with one if my eyes, years of built up and suppressed frustration focused in on this one word now!


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

ouesi said:


> @Pappychi
> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/for-the-record_us_57855586e4b03fc3ee4e626f


Oh I love it! So well written. Thank you for that. If I had Facebook I'd share it. I think this hyper-awareness of the definition of 'feminine' is magnified within a microculture, nearly everyone knows everyone else so critical views on womanhood and their perceptions tend to 'leak' more easily between the generations.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

picaresque said:


> It's really grating, the casual use of OCD in particular because it's often used in a jokey manner and with a total lack of understanding of the realities of the condition and the different ways it can manifest itself. And it can ruin lives, I am actually living it right now (it's a close family member although I have traits too which I fear will develop as that's usually how it goes). So it can be hard to sit on my hands. However I try to be aware that I might be flippant and insensitive without realising it about other things that don't affect me.


Guilty 
In my defense though, it's usually directed at me - as in I'm the one being jokingly called OCD (and maybe not so jokingly). 
I am obsessively organized and my work space is always tidy so co-workers jokingly call me OCD so I have in turn started calling my tendencies that instead of my preferred term - control freak  
Thank you for the reminder.


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

picaresque said:


> @Pappychi, you're five years younger than me and from the sound of it, single or otherwise you really have your shit together which I have yet to manage. I hope this doesn't come across as trite but don't let annoying relatives get you down.


Thank you. Not at all 

Although I confess the only shit I have regularly together is the cat shit I clean out of the litter trays :Angelic

I like to think of life as one big learning curve, my grandma was 94 when she passed away and once said 'I still dunno what the f*ck I'm doing' :Hilarious

We have this 'Disney' perfect life drilled into us and I don't think there is any fun in that


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

picaresque said:


> It's really grating, the casual use of OCD in particular because it's often used in a jokey manner and with a total lack of understanding of the realities of the condition and the different ways it can manifest itself. And it can ruin lives, I am actually living it right now (it's a close family member although I have traits too which I fear will develop as that's usually how it goes). So it can be hard to sit on my hands. However I try to be aware that I might be flippant and insensitive without realising it about other things that don't affect me.


My mum has OCD which was severe in the past ( but she has made HUGE improvements the past few years. Yay! ), so I have known nothing else since I was around 12 years old or so. When your own mum can't hug her children even though she desperately wants to, you just have to bite your tongue and roll your eyes at those who laugh about their 'OCD' and simply wanting everything in order etc.... So yes, I'm the same, and I try my best not to use such serious conditions in a jokey fashion or so dismissively.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Dogloverlou said:


> And I always find that tends to be the opinion of those who cringe at people who use such endearments


Just to clarify, for me, I don't cringe at the *people*, I cringe at the *term*. 
Now, the people who let their dog lick them all over the mouth and baby talk the dog as the dog's doing a tonsil inspection, yeah, that does make me cringe. Mainly because I know that dog has probably been licking his anus and now that tongue is all over that person's mouth. Gack!!


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

Hanwombat said:


> I think when I get home I am going to dress both dogs up in nappies and buy them a dummy each :Nailbiting
> 
> :Smuggrin :Smuggrin :Smuggrin :Smuggrin
> 
> Though in all seriousness.. people can call their dogs whatever they want as its none of anyone elses business  if only people heard half the names I could Bigby at times


And buy them one of those doggy pushchairs!


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

picaresque said:


> I hate to be a rubber necker but would somebody point me to said thread, I'm curious about what exactly was said
> 
> ETA - cross posted with ouesi


There was another one ...


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

I have very mild OCD but my OCD is to do with cleaning.. not because I'm afraid of germs etc but I like things to look nice.

At home, I literally use a massive kitchen roll everyday because I am constantly cleaning the workshop, sink and outside I am always cleaning the window sills.. even if I know its clean, I'll clean it again and if my OH cleans it, then I have to redo it... the rest of the house could be a complete mess but as long as the sink, worktops and windows sills are clean then I'm happy... though I also have to make sure everything is straight as well.

I hate it when it rains as my windows sills get dirty so have to clean them even more !! :Shifty :Arghh:Arghh


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

Dogloverlou said:


> And buy them one of those doggy pushchairs!


OMGGGGG *searches Google* !! :Brb


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## catz4m8z (Aug 27, 2008)

Not sure Ive ever thought wether furbabies bothers me. I dont think Ive used it but I do baby talk the dogs at times (they love it!LOL).
Also Ive never met a word I didnt like including moist, furbabies, chillax and cringe! Im quite fond of saying schmooze at the mo. Im horrible addicted to rhyming phrases too like hunky dory, okey dokey or heeby jeeby and often confuse people by saying stuff like 'whats the plan, Stan?' or 'got a prob, Bob?':Shy:Hilarious

I do know I make 'sensible' dog owners cringe and beat their heads on the wall when I refer to Alfie and Hannah as Chiweenies though. Im sure to them its a ridiculous crossbreed affectation but to me its implying that my dog is crossed with a sausage....a sausage, people!! How is that not awesome?:Woot
TBH Im a word slut....I luv 'em all. Proper, slang, foreign and domestic.


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

ouesi said:


> Guilty
> In my defense though, it's usually directed at me - as in I'm the one being jokingly called OCD (and maybe not so jokingly).
> I am obsessively organized and my work space is always tidy so co-workers jokingly call me OCD so I have in turn started calling my tendencies that instead of my preferred term - control freak
> Thank you for the reminder.


This is me too ^^^
Sorry about this, I didn't realise I was causing offence.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Dogloverlou said:


> My mum has OCD which was severe in the past ( but she has made HUGE improvements the past few years. Yay! ), so I have known nothing else since I was around 12 years old or so. When your own mum can't hug her children even though she desperately wants to, you just have to bite your tongue and roll your eyes at those who laugh about their 'OCD' and simply wanting everything in order etc.... So yes, I'm the same, and I try my best not to use such serious conditions in a jokey fashion or so dismissively.


I'm glad your mum has made progress, sounds like it was pretty horrible for you at times.
My mother is a hoarder and unfortunately there is little help and little hope. The local MH services specifically 'don't do hoarders' and anyway unfortunately it is very hard to treat. It's a living hell for us both atm. Thank god for my dogs, fur babies or no as they keep me going (and apologies for the derail)


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

SusieRainbow said:


> There was another one ...


Do tell...


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Dogloverlou said:


> And buy them one of those doggy pushchairs!


Like this?
http://www.petforums.co.uk/threads/tangos-outing.430059/


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## Dogloverlou (Dec 8, 2013)

picaresque said:


> I'm glad your mum has made progress, sounds like it was pretty horrible for you at times.
> My mother is a hoarder and unfortunately there is little help and little hope. The local MH services specifically 'don't do hoarders' and anyway unfortunately it is very hard to treat. It's a living hell for us both atm. Thank god for my dogs, fur babies or no as they keep me going (and apologies for the derail)


I'm sorry to hear that  I don't know much about hoarding but can't imagine there is no help available. That doesn't sound right at all! It's tough living with someone with OCD that's for sure. Sadly, whilst I was living at home, Missy & Ty also were effected in the sense my mum didn't like them touching her so they soon learnt my mum was to be ignored. She's made up for it now though as she lavishes attention on them!  Feel free to message me anytime if you just want to vent/talk to x



SusieRainbow said:


> Like this?
> http://www.petforums.co.uk/threads/tangos-outing.430059/


Yes! Not sure they'd come in larger sizes for @Hanwombat's two though.


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

Dogloverlou said:


> I'm sorry to hear that  I don't know much about hoarding but can't imagine there is no help available. That doesn't sound right at all! It's tough living with someone with OCD that's for sure. Sadly, whilst I was living at home, Missy & Ty also were effected in the sense my mum didn't like them touching her so they soon learnt my mum was to be ignored. She's made up for it now though as she lavishes attention on them!  Feel free to message me anytime if you just want to vent/talk to x
> 
> Yes! Not sure they'd come in larger sizes for @Hanwombat's two though.


I'd make them fit :Smug


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## Lexiedhb (Jun 9, 2011)

I dont call Dexter a furbaby, because well, hes not a baby.......... oddly i am "mum" tho, and ha then has "daddy, and Daddy Phil" like something from a split family household. He also does have a "voice" ....... which is of course a voice I put on (more for comedy value than anything) which I'm sure some hate - tough


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Cheers @Dogloverlou x
I'm feeling a bit of oversharer's regret right now lol


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

picaresque said:


> Quite.


Now who is lacking empathy or do you pick and choose?


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Deleted, see below!


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> The "so rarely feel the need to share it" part could be interpreted as meaning that you think the person you quoted shares too much which would of course be extremely insensitive and lacking in empathy. I'm childless too but by choice so obviously my feelings are not the same as others but I totally support anyone who needs/wants to share their feelings on the subject.


I'm sorry if it came out that way, I'll try and be more careful with my words in future. What I meant to say is that I find it easier not to discuss it, usually. I do share from time to time but it's mostly with close friends and family.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

LinznMilly said:


> Haven't read all the replies yet, (or, as my tablet interpreted my typing: herepkies :Wideyed  ), for fear of losing my trail of thought, but once I've posted this, I'll go back and read through what I've missed (warning, this might get deep).
> 
> I don't consider my pets as my "furbabies", but I do call them baby, on occasion as an endearment. I also, occasionally, refer to myself as Mum - not because I believe they are my children, but because, to me, it sounds infinitely more intimate than "owner", which objectifies them. "Human", especially used in the context of "Their Human", implies that I am owned by them, which is also impersonal and objectifies myself.
> 
> ...


What a wonderful explanation.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

ouesi said:


> I'm not going to speak for Molly, but I'm pretty sure you don't get to say when she will or will not feel the need to share about her childlessness.
> The whole comment came across as dismissive.


I never tried to tell her when she could or could not share, I was talking about me and how I very rarely share. That's my choice just as sharing is Molly Smiths, I just did not want to get into a deep discussion about my own situation with strangers on an open forum, so I closed the discussion down before it started and revealed the bit I was prepared to discuss.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Sacremist said:


> Why is it lacking in empathy? Far from it, ive just pointed out I'm in the same position. I'm just older and more resigned to it. I find it easier these days not to talk about it.


Ah okay so I missed this - at work and only have a few minutes.

I'll stand by what I said, that it's utterly impossible to know how much further we are along a path or if we're older than each other since I have never shared my age on here 

For me I find that talking about it, educating others, running the Walk in Our Shoes website, working on a book and running a support group is about helping others and being a good way to cope with the loss but it doesn't define me as anyone who knows me might observe. I think Molly is my biggest definition. We all manage in different ways. You and I may share childlessness but I would think we have come to that place in different ways. Certainly in a support group of 300 women we are all very different and there might be some minor similarities but a lot of variations and no two women share the same background to childlessness. Like I said, 50 ways not to be a mother! And I would think a million ways on how to live beyond that. One reason I do talk about it is that I am proud to have gone through my journey and survived IVF.

Anyway, look it's just a bloody word! I don't like it but if someone called Molly my fur baby I'm not going to sock them in the chops or cry! Just a gentle reminder she's a dog is all they'd get. There are far more things to be annoyed about. Brexit and Boris Johnson and why the thermostat on my oven keeps overheating and Bridge is crashing my Mac.

But good on you for finding a way that works for you.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

ouesi said:


> Just to clarify, for me, I don't cringe at the *people*, I cringe at the *term*.
> Now, the people who let their dog lick them all over the mouth and baby talk the dog as the dog's doing a tonsil inspection, yeah, that does make me cringe. Mainly because I know that dog has probably been licking his anus and now that tongue is all over that person's mouth. Gack!!


Now this I agree with, I hate my dog licking any part of my face or hands. It does make me cringe. If she does manage to luck my hand, I have to wash them immediately.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> Ah okay so I missed this - at work and only have a few minutes.
> 
> I'll stand by what I said, that it's utterly impossible to know how much further we are along a path or if we're older than each other since I have never shared my age on here
> 
> ...


Fair enough, I don't know how old you are, I just get the impression from your posts that I am older. You are right, no two people are the same and we each reach this position from different places: IVF was never an option for me, a full hysterectomy made it impossible. I've already revealed too much and I'm truly sorry if my clumsy wording upset you, but for me I would rather bury it now.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Sacremist said:


> Fair enough, I don't know how old you are, I just get the impression from your posts that I am older. You are right, no two people are the same and we each reach this position from different places: IVF was never an option for me, a full hysterectomy made it impossible. I've already revealed too much and I'm truly sorry if my clumsy wording upset you, but for me I would rather bury it now.


You didn't upset me at all and I hope that you haven't been upset too, it's very hard to find the right words and I'm glad we were able to clarify what we both meant on such a difficult subject.

And thanks to other forum members for your consideration too


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> You didn't upset me at all and I hope that you haven't been upset too, it's very hard to find the right words and I'm glad we were able to clarify what we both meant on such a difficult subject.
> 
> And thanks to other forum members for your consideration too


Thank you, I just really wanted to let you know that you are not alone on this forum that someone else on here has some understanding of your situation.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

ouesi said:


> @Pappychi
> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/for-the-record_us_57855586e4b03fc3ee4e626f


Great article.

As someone who was horrifically psychologically & sometimes physically bullied at school (it was an all girls school as well!), mostly about my appearance but also because for the first few years I was tiny & mousy & an easy target, I hate to see body shaming in any form, from anyone, be they men, other women or the faceless media.

On a side note, I do enjoy reading the Daily Mail online, mainly for the comments section which is full of nutters, & I remember Jennifer A being relentlessly stalked as it came up frequently on the Sidebar of Shame, & all I could think was that why isn't this classed as stalking & coming under stalking laws?

It's disturbing & creepy.


----------



## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

simplysardonic said:


> Great article.
> 
> As someone who was horrifically psychologically & sometimes physically bullied at school (it was an all girls school as well!), mostly about my appearance but also because for the first few years I was tiny & mousy & an easy target, I hate to see body shaming in any form, from anyone, be they men, other women or the faceless media.
> 
> ...


Talking of body shaming did you see the model in the US who posted a photograph of an older lady who had just got out of the shower, it was a selfie I think with her holding her hand up to her mouth whilst laughing saying something like "If I can't un see this then neither should you" with the lady in the background pretty much naked. It was in a fitness first gym I believe. It struck me how cruel some women are to each other, she will be older one day and no longer have her perfect tight body. I read at the weekend she was sacked from her job and has been banned by fitness first and may be prosecuted under privacy laws. Its so sad that we don't seem to care about the person, just the look


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> Talking of body shaming did you see the model in the US who posted a photograph of an older lady who had just got out of the shower, it was a selfie I think with her holding her hand up to her mouth whilst laughing saying something like "If I can't un see this then neither should you" with the lady in the background pretty much naked. It was in a fitness first gym I believe. It struck me how cruel some women are to each other, she will be older one day and no longer have her perfect tight body. I read at the weekend she was sacked from her job and has been banned by fitness first and may be prosecuted under privacy laws. Its so sad that we don't seem to care about the person, just the look


What the f**k is wrong with people


----------



## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> Talking of body shaming did you see the model in the US who posted a photograph of an older lady who had just got out of the shower, it was a selfie I think with her holding her hand up to her mouth whilst laughing saying something like "If I can't un see this then neither should you" with the lady in the background pretty much naked. It was in a fitness first gym I believe. It struck me how cruel some women are to each other, she will be older one day and no longer have her perfect tight body. I read at the weekend she was sacked from her job and has been banned by fitness first and may be prosecuted under privacy laws. Its so sad that we don't seem to care about the person, just the look


I saw this! Disgusting human being and just because she got a massive backlash on intagram she later said it was a mistake.. or she posted it by mistake or some rubbish!


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Muttly said:


> What the f**k is wrong with people


I don't belong to a gym anymore but if I did I would be absolutely livid if someone was taking photos with their phone and posting them online. Is nothing private anymore?


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> I don't belong to a gym anymore but if I did I would be absolutely livid if someone was taking photos with their phone and posting them online. Is nothing private anymore?


Apparently if the woman went to the police, the other woman could get a short jail term.. I'd certainly go to the police.. stupid disrespectful girl !


----------



## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Sacremist said:


> Now this I agree with, I hate my dog licking any part of my face or hands. It does make me cringe. If she does manage to luck my hand, I have to wash them immediately.


Sorry to be giggling here, but do you not see the irony?

You have absolutely no trouble understanding how people can find dog spit cringeworthy but finding a word cringeworthy leads to all sorts of assumptions and speculations about people's character?

Would you find it odd if I accused you of feeling superior to me because I don't wash my hands after my dogs lick them? 
I'm not saying you do feel superior, I'm asking if you would find it an odd question.

Would you find it odd if I questioned your motives for mentioning dog spit knowing full well I have a breed of dog known for drooling?
Again, I'm not saying you knew this or that it motivated your comment, but this is the sort of thing you speculated on with the term furbaby.

Clearly you can understand finding something cringeworthy, just as long as it fits in to your own personal paradigm I guess?


----------



## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

ouesi said:


> Clearly you can understand finding something cringeworthy, just as long as it fits in to* your own personal paradigm I guess?*


OMG you used that word "paradigm". Its been bugging the life out of me all weekend because I'm reading a book (Whole -rethinking the science of nutrition by Colin Campbell who did the China Study) and he uses that word so much and I can't pronounce it. I find it really hard to read a word I can't pronounce and keep getting held up trying to say in right in my head. How do you pronounce it please?


----------



## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> Talking of body shaming did you see the model in the US who posted a photograph of an older lady who had just got out of the shower, it was a selfie I think with her holding her hand up to her mouth whilst laughing saying something like "If I can't un see this then neither should you" with the lady in the background pretty much naked. It was in a fitness first gym I believe. It struck me how cruel some women are to each other, she will be older one day and no longer have her perfect tight body. I read at the weekend she was sacked from her job and has been banned by fitness first and may be prosecuted under privacy laws. Its so sad that we don't seem to care about the person, just the look


OMG I missed that!
How warped is that?! Wow... I don't even know what to say....

I almost feel more sorry for the woman who posted the picture than the woman who's picture was taken. The latter has nothing to be ashamed of, the former has much to be ashamed of, and will probably have a very troubling time when her body changes with life and age.


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## Siskin (Nov 13, 2012)

I would pronounce it as para-dime


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> OMG you used that word "paradigm". Its been bugging the life out of me all weekend because I'm reading a book (Whole -rethinking the science of nutrition by Colin Campbell who did the China Study) and he uses that word so much and I can't pronounce it. I find it really hard to read a word I can't pronounce and keep getting held up trying to say in right in my head. How do you pronounce it please?


LOL!
I pronounce it pair - ah - dime 
Not sure if there British pronunciation is different?

But speaking of pronunciation, was watching a BBC documentary on ice ages and the British pronunciation of glacier really grates on me, and normally I don't mind different pronunciations of words!


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

Siskin said:


> I would pronounce it as para-dime





ouesi said:


> LOL!
> I pronounce it pair - ah - dime
> Not sure if there British pronunciation is different?
> 
> But speaking of pronunciation, was watching a BBC documentary on ice ages and the British pronunciation of glacier really grates on me, and normally I don't mind different pronunciations of words!


:Hilarious:Hilarious I'm well off then as I've been saying para-did-gem.


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## rottiepointerhouse (Feb 9, 2014)

ouesi said:


> OMG I missed that!
> How warped is that?! Wow... I don't even know what to say....
> 
> I almost feel more sorry for the woman who posted the picture than the woman who's picture was taken. The latter has nothing to be ashamed of, the former has much to be ashamed of, and will probably have a very troubling time when her body changes with life and age.


I can't find the original article now - but this one shows a bit of it - the photo of the lady just out of the shower was through the door next to the yellow wet floor sign but they've cut it out in that photo

http://mashable.com/2016/07/16/model-snapchat-nude-woman-gym/#7GdK93x9isqK

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-dani-mathers-photo-playboy-20160716-snap-story.html

ETA just found this

*Playboy model Dani Mathers has said sorry after making fun of a naked woman at her gym.*

She posted the photo on Snapchat, which showed her laughing at an unsuspecting woman in the showers.

The caption said: "If I can't unsee this then you can't either."

But she was then hit with a wave of criticism, with people accusing her of body shaming. She's now apologised and deleted the image.

This is the picture that sparked it off...









Unsurprisingly, people weren't that impressed, especially from a woman who's famous for her body. She was crowned Playmate of the Year in 2015.


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

ouesi said:


> LOL!
> I pronounce it pair - ah - dime
> Not sure if there British pronunciation is different?
> 
> But speaking of pronunciation, was watching a BBC documentary on ice ages and the British pronunciation of glacier really grates on me, and normally I don't mind different pronunciations of words!


I can see how it does. We pronounce it very differently. The way USA pronounces 'Aluminium' bugs me a little, although you spell it differently too!


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## Acidic Angel (May 8, 2012)

Dimwit said:


> Mind you, I don't tend to go in for cutesy nicknames either (he is generally known as dimwit or g*tdog).


Have to agree, ours don't tend to get "cutesy" nicknames either. 
They each have a "personal" nickname: Tiger's is Tig. Sox's is Spox - As in "Spock-S"... I'll leave soon, don't worry xD

After that, they get all manner of names! Though I tend to only use the following names when they've made me mad in some way... *glances at Tiger after he ripped a carrier bag of rubbish open last night!*

Not because I hate them of course, because I have a swearing problem xD I have censored them for the forum though as I'm not sure what the rules are on swearing- There's probably a rule in the T&C that I've forgotten or missed so I'll not risk it!
Sod, Barstool, Furry barstool, *insert slang beginning with D for male anatomy*, Oi!, Bloody fudging furry barstool, etc.. While calling them these sorts of names I tend to also question why I own cats and who thought it would be a good idea, though I usually don't mean it(I have been there twice with Tig before though).


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

ouesi said:


> Sorry to be giggling here, but do you not see the irony?
> 
> You have absolutely no trouble understanding how people can find dog spit cringeworthy but finding a word cringeworthy leads to all sorts of assumptions and speculations about people's character?
> 
> ...


No, sorry, I fail to see the irony because I fail to see the connection between the two. Firstly, as someone on here has pointed out already, several people have in their posts made a connection to the word Furbaby and the assumption that that person perceives their pet as a child, so I'm not making assumptions, people have indicated this themselves and this is what leads me to feel that some people think they are superior because they do not view their pet as a child. My argument is that someone who uses that term does not do so purely because they see their pet as a child. It is merely a term of endearment.

I don't feel superior to anyone who allows their dogs to lick their hands or face but, yes, I do find it cringeworthy and I can also give a reason why I find it cringeworthy, something many people don't seem able to do insofar as the word furbaby is concerned, except for their Freudian slips. My reasons are that my dog licks her ar$e and eats $h!t at every given opportunty and I don't want her licking me knowing she does that. That's not me being superior that is me having an aversion to bactera.

I also have absolutely no idea what breed of dogs you have and even if I did, I probably would not know they are prone to drooling because I admit to not knowing all there is to know about every breed.

So, finally, no, it has nothing to do with fitting my own personal paradigm, but everything to do with the two having no connection whatsoever.


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

Muttly said:


> I can see how it does. We pronounce it very differently. The way USA pronounces 'Aluminium' bugs me a little, although you spell it differently too!


Oh god yes! Do you remember that Car Insurance company maybe that advertised 'American customer service'? I LOATHED the way they said that word, it set my teeth on edge from the moment it came on to the moment it buggered off :Hilarious


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

The biggest word I have a problem with is my real life name. It's always pronounced wrongly by my parents despite them writing it on my birth certificate with appropriate accents and almost everyone misses out a second e because it's similar to the vaguely more common form.. 

I've to work out how to say especially in FB land that someone has spelt my name wrong without sounds like a diva. Advice please PF!


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

MollySmith said:


> The biggest word I have a problem with is my real life name. It's always pronounced wrongly by my parents despite them writing it on my birth certificate with appropriate accents and almost everyone misses out a second e because it's similar to the vaguely more common form..
> 
> I've to work out how to say especially in FB land that someone has spelt my name wrong without sounds like a diva. Advice please PF!


My real life name is Paris.

Do you have any idea how many write that with a Y?! Parys? :Banghead:Banghead:Banghead


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Hanwombat said:


> I saw this! Disgusting human being and just because she got a massive backlash on intagram she later said it was a mistake.. or she posted it by mistake or some rubbish!


I bet she did, backtracking coward!

Sad world we live in where people feel the need to sneakily take photos of other people they feel are inferior to them & then subject them to public ridicule


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> I can't find the original article now - but this one shows a bit of it - the photo of the lady just out of the shower was through the door next to the yellow wet floor sign but they've cut it out in that photo
> 
> http://mashable.com/2016/07/16/model-snapchat-nude-woman-gym/#7GdK93x9isqK
> 
> ...


I saw part of her apology - apparently she meant to send it to a friend privately not post it on public snapchat. Whatever. That doesn't make any of it less disgusting.

Sometimes the person's true nature is what can't be unseen... Hers came out loud and clear didn't it?


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> The biggest word I have a problem with is my real life name. It's always pronounced wrongly by my parents despite them writing it on my birth certificate with appropriate accents and almost everyone misses out a second e because it's similar to the vaguely more common form..
> 
> I've to work out how to say especially in FB land that someone has spelt my name wrong without sounds like a diva. Advice please PF!


I don't know your real life name!


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## Siskin (Nov 13, 2012)

How do you say glacier @ouesi? I would say glay-see-er not glass-see-er


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> I can't find the original article now - but this one shows a bit of it - the photo of the lady just out of the shower was through the door next to the yellow wet floor sign but they've cut it out in that photo
> 
> http://mashable.com/2016/07/16/model-snapchat-nude-woman-gym/#7GdK93x9isqK
> 
> ...


Karma can be a b!tch, lets hope she pays for it as she ages.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

ouesi said:


> I saw part of her apology - apparently she meant to send it to a friend privately not post it on public snapchat. Whatever. That doesn't make any of it less disgusting.
> 
> Sometimes the person's true nature is what can't be unseen... Hers came out loud and clear didn't it?


In turn someone, somewhere will mock her when she's old & not perfect, especially if she tries to hang onto her youthfulness, that always ends up being somewhat pitiful.

She, & me, & everyone else, will grow old & die.

Death is the great equaliser, can't remember who said that.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Siskin said:


> How do you say glacier @ouesi? I would say glay-see-er not glass-see-er


Glay-shur two syllables.

This guy was saying glah see ur almost sounded like 4 syllables at times.

Speaking of documentary narrations, have you seen/heard Benedict Cumberbatch saying penguins? Hilarious!
Skip to about 3:20 in:


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## smokeybear (Oct 19, 2011)

Sacremist said:


> Well LOVE, you certainly come across like you do!


Game, set and match I think. ROFLMAO


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## Siskin (Nov 13, 2012)

ouesi said:


> Glay-shur two syllables.
> 
> This guy was saying glah see ur almost sounded like 4 syllables at times.
> 
> ...


I had heard about that but hadn't seen the clip. Brilliant.


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

Dogloverlou said:


> But there was equally no need to pick up on that. It had nothing to do with the thread topic in question. So it was a bit uncalled for IMO.
> 
> If I started a thread and used terms such as 'my babies are feeling hot today' or whatever, I'm pretty sure no one would comment on my wording
> 
> Just reading back through the thread quickly, I notice that quite a few say it makes them cringe because 'my dog is not a child' or similar. And I always find that tends to be the opinion of those who cringe at people who use such endearments - that they're all slightly nuts and genuinely believe they have forgot they own dogs? :Hilarious


I'll tell you why I said that on the thread about the two pups who, according to their owner, smelled so badly, it was pungent from the other side of the room.

The pups clearly had something amiss. Could have been something as simple as their food not agreeing with them, but on the other hand, it could have been infection or other condition, which required treatment by the Vet.

Did she take them to the Vet? No, she posts here, baths them, then complains that they "stink" again, saying "my poor furbabies" as though she were powerless to do anything about it. She didn't seem to get, although I said it a couple of times, that pups shouldn't smell, so I pointed out that they are not furbabies, but puppies who may well have needed to see a Vet.


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## smokeybear (Oct 19, 2011)

People can be "very economical" with the truth when it suits them and post THEIR truth, as THEY see it not THE truth as seen by the detached observer.


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

My absolute pet-hate, ultimate cringe word is 'staycation'. For decades, we Brits have been having HOLIDAYS. You either had a HOLIDAY in this country or a HOLIDAY abroad. Now it's "Are you having a holiday or a staycation?" Argh!!! Which is really stupid, because if you are going to say 'staycation' you should say 'vacation' instead of holiday.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

CuddleMonster said:


> My absolute pet-hate, ultimate cringe word is 'staycation'. For decades, we Brits have been having HOLIDAYS. You either had a HOLIDAY in this country or a HOLIDAY abroad. Now it's "Are you having a holiday or a staycation?" Argh!!! Which is really stupid, because if you are going to say 'staycation' you should say 'vacation' instead of holiday.


I've never heard of a "staycation" (and apparently neither has my spellcheck). What is it?
I don't say holiday as far as going somewhere, holiday means not having to work, not that you're going somewhere. 
Vacation means you're going somewhere. 
Huh... but now that I think about it, we call it summer vacation and we don't necessarily go anywhere. 
IDK! Just someone tell me what a staycation is?


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

Staycation is a holiday you spend in your home country, instead of abroad.


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## smokeybear (Oct 19, 2011)

Holiday at home


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

CuddleMonster said:


> Staycation is a holiday you spend in your home country, instead of abroad.


So, can it involve any traveling? 
Like when we go to the beach, rent a condo, board the dogs, but stay in the same state, is that a staycation? 
Or is it what I'm doing now, I don't have to go to work today and I'm home but not working, am I on a staycation right now?


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## Lexiedhb (Jun 9, 2011)

ouesi said:


> So, can it involve any traveling?
> Like when we go to the beach, rent a condo, board the dogs, but stay in the same state, is that a staycation?
> Or is it what I'm doing now, I don't have to go to work today and I'm home but not working, am I on a staycation right now?


I always thought it just meant you stayed in your own home, but didn't go to work. So yeah you can do day trips etc, but no hotels involved


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## catz4m8z (Aug 27, 2008)

ouesi said:


> So, can it involve any traveling?
> Like when we go to the beach, rent a condo, board the dogs, but stay in the same state, is that a staycation?
> Or is it what I'm doing now, I don't have to go to work today and I'm home but not working, am I on a staycation right now?


I think its were you have official time off work and spend it in your pajamas rather then doing something productive then going on holiday!

Staycation is cute...but then I have no problem with made up words. Told everybody yesterday I had a huge ham sammich for bruncher (yes, I decided to invent the breakfast/lunch/dinner meal for lazy people!LOL). 
I think furbabies is def more of a written thing then a verbal one, I really cant think of a single time when Ive heard it spoken aloud.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Lexiedhb said:


> I always thought it just meant you stayed in your own home, but didn't go to work. So yeah you can do day trips etc, but no hotels involved


Weird... 
It's no vacation in my own home, always some chore that needs to be done. 
At least in a hotel someone else is making my bed LOL!


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

Possibly the word I hate the most & that currently seems to be everywhere is 'selfie'.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

catz4m8z said:


> I really cant think of a single time when Ive heard it spoken aloud.


Oh I hear it a lot! 
I'm pretty mellow about it unless someone calls my dogs my furbabies, as in "oh, they're you're furbabies aren't they?" No... they're my dogs. 
Had a receptionist at the vet refer to them as such, it didn't sit well with me. But she's new, and I know the office pretty well, she'll stop soon enough


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

simplysardonic said:


> Possibly the word I hate the most & that currently seems to be everywhere is 'selfie'.


You know why they call it selfie right?
'Cause _narcissistic_ is too hard to spell


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

I'm totally lost on this thread now..

So...if the word furbaby makes you cringe then you must give a valid and acceptable reason for why it makes you cringe.. if you can't give a valid reason, then it's assumed you must think people who use it can't tell the difference between a child and a dog? 

However, if words like moist, chillax, dude and totes make you cringe then that's ok, you aren't under any obligation to explain why...? 

Back to the lightheartedness of the thread..

I really can't pronounce the word aluminium. I can break it down and say it really slowly
"Al-you-min-yum"
but quickly it's
"al-you-min-you-mum"
or if I don't think about it at all first it comes out as
"al-yum-yim-yum-mum" :Bag:Banghead


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## steveshanks (Feb 19, 2015)

Pappychi said:


> Oh god yes! Do you remember that Car Insurance company maybe that advertised 'American customer service'? I LOATHED the way they said that word, it set my teeth on edge from the moment it came on to the moment it buggered off


 for years after watching a film with Danny Devito in where they kept going on about Aluminum I thought it was another material LOL then i met an American aircraft rep you kept saying it and i clicked ;o).

We don't have Staycations in the North East we go to Worgate instead......try saying it in a Geordie accent


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

"Hun".

I really appreciated it when a girl on the checkout in Sainsbury said, "see you later Hun".

Or, "Love you Hun".

No you don't love me ........... you don't know me.


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## steveshanks (Feb 19, 2015)

Just to get all nerdy here, did you know you will rarely come across any Aluminium (British spelling) as it is very weak and brittle, what you are using is an Aluminium Alloy......Steve, Ex Aircraft fitter.


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## catz4m8z (Aug 27, 2008)

Nettles said:


> I really can't pronounce the word aluminium. I can break it down and say it really slowly
> "Al-you-min-yum"
> but quickly it's
> "al-you-min-you-mum"
> ...


I pronounce it
"me-tal""

much easier!


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Sacremist said:


> Now who is lacking empathy or do you pick and choose?


I've been away from the thread and I can see it's moved on but what? What do you mean by this? Have you massively misunderstood me?

You are like a dog with a bone.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Sweety said:


> "Hun".
> 
> I really appreciated it when a girl on the checkout in Sainsbury said, "see you later Hun".
> 
> ...


Ew "love you" to someone you don't know? Weird...
Hun doesn't bother me, but I'd have trouble with fake "I love you's" 
I can do white lies as much as the next person, but I really don't think I would be able to say "I love you" to someone who I didn't feel that emotion towards...


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Hun as in honey always makes me think of, well, Huns.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Hun
Babes
Sweetie
Inappropriate use of the word 'like'
Y'know
Obviously (when it's not)
All text speak
Excessive punctuation as in 'My pig died!!!!!!!!'
Lol
Dunno
Corel Draw
Publisher (as in Microsoft)
Font (when it should be typeface and vice versa)
Sorry (when it's not really meant at all)
And swearing in sentences when it's not needed. I had a boss who used the F word in most sentences and I find it very offensive.

*takes a deep breath


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

MollySmith said:


> Hun
> Babes
> Sweetie
> Inappropriate use of the word 'like'
> ...


Hahahaha, random, but understandable!


----------



## smokeybear (Oct 19, 2011)

MollySmith said:


> Hun
> Babes
> Sweetie
> Inappropriate use of the word 'like'
> ...


People who use "breath" when they mean "breathe"


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

MollySmith said:


> Hun
> Babes
> Sweetie
> Inappropriate use of the word 'like'
> ...


Oh dear, y'know, I think I've probably annoyed you a lot, like, being on this forum. Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Couldn't resist that  )


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

CuddleMonster said:


> Oh dear, y'know, I think I've probably annoyed you a lot, like, being on this forum. Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Couldn't resist that  )


Lol, y'know it's okay, babes  !!!!!!!


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

For the pedants among you, the OED defines staycation as "a holiday spent in one's home country rather than abroad, or one spent at home and involving day trips to local attractions." I can ALMOST see the point of a special word to describe the second kind of 'holiday', but whenever I've seen it, it's always been used to describe the first kind. So what on earth is wrong with holiday? As in, I'm going on holiday to Cornwall? After all, Brits don't say they are vacationing in Canada, they say they are going on holiday to Canada!


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

CuddleMonster said:


> For the pedants among you, the OED defines staycation as "a holiday spent in one's home country rather than abroad, or one spent at home and involving day trips to local attractions." I can ALMOST see the point of a special word to describe the second kind of 'holiday', but whenever I've seen it, it's always been used to describe the first kind. So what on earth is wrong with holiday? As in, I'm going on holiday to Cornwall? After all, Brits don't say they are vacationing in Canada, they say they are going on holiday to Canada!


In that case I have not enjoyed a holiday since we adopted Molly. We have 'staycation'ed'? That's an _awful_ word.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

CuddleMonster said:


> Staycation is a holiday you spend in your home country, instead of abroad.


In my mind, a holiday is going away be it in your own country or away.

A staycation is a holiday from work, but not going away anywhere.

OH and I are having a staycation this week. He has the week off work and we will have the odd day out, but come back home to sleep the same day 

Time off work could be called holiday or leave, regardless of what you do with it.

Vacation is an Americanism ......


----------



## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

'Holiday at home'. Pleeeeeeease! THAT WORD is so horrible :Inpain :Grumpy epressed :Arghh


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## KittenKong (Oct 30, 2015)

Furbaby- I don't find that cringe worthy at all. It's a nice way to describe your, ahem, fur baby.

I used to call Bella our " furry cat". Well, we all know most cats have fur
but was my pet name for her.

Tabatha is, "Gorgeous cat". Bella was gorgeous too but I couldn't continue the "furry cat" tag with her.


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

Anyone over the age of 14 using Cray Cray, Amazeballs or Awesomesauce :Yuck Or when non Italian people say pasta dishes with an Italian accent because they think it makes them "cultured" :Grumpy
Spuh-gat-tay Bol-ah-neysha


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

People being interviewed who start every answer with 'So'. 'So, what you have to understand is...' 'So, what we are trying to achieve here...' 'So, the reason we started this project...'


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## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

Like it or loath it, it seems its good enough for the Oxford Dictionary as its been added as a recognised noun.

*fur baby, n.*: a person's dog, cat, or other furry pet animal


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

People who make statements with a rising inflection, as if they're guessing or questioning what they're saying. So commonplace and so annoying !


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Nettles said:


> Anyone over the age of 14 using Cray Cray, Amazeballs or Awesomesauce :Yuck Or when non Italian people say pasta dishes with an Italian accent because they think it makes them "cultured" :Grumpy
> Spuh-gat-tay Bol-ah-neysha


Guilty! Awesomesauce and cool beans are go to expressions for me!
I also say pasta the way it's supposed to be said, but I'm part Italian so it's legit 



CuddleMonster said:


> People being interviewed who start every answer with 'So'. 'So, what you have to understand is...' 'So, what we are trying to achieve here...' 'So, the reason we started this project...'


Guilty! And then I hear myself and cringe!


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

CuddleMonster said:


> People being interviewed who start every answer with 'So'. 'So, what you have to understand is...' 'So, what we are trying to achieve here...' 'So, the reason we started this project...'


Yep.

It used to be "well, basically", now it's "so".

Interviewer - "are you enjoying playing this role"? Respondent - "So ..............".


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

ouesi said:


> Guilty! Awesomesauce and cool beans are go to expressions for me!
> I also say pasta the way it's supposed to be said, but I'm part Italian so it's legit
> 
> Guilty! And then I hear myself and cringe!


Haven't heard cool beans before.. I think I'll enjoy is as much as awesomesauce 
It's acceptable if you're part Italian. It's even acceptable if you can speak Italian.. but to hear someone speak in an English accent and then suddenly pronounce Tagliatelle with an Italian accent is just :Stop for me.
It's as ridiculous as me ordering a Chinese take away with a fake Chinese accent :Shifty


----------



## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

CuddleMonster said:


> People being interviewed who start every answer with 'So'. 'So, what you have to understand is...' 'So, what we are trying to achieve here...' 'So, the reason we started this project...'


I've started doing this  I make myself cringe! "So, I went out for a walk"


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

I'm just glad everyone seems to have stopped saying 'simples'.


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

picaresque said:


> I'm just glad everyone seems to have stopped saying 'simples'.


I don't use it, but I love simples!


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

Nettles said:


> I don't use it, but I love simples!
> View attachment 277627


I liked the origins premise, that the meerkats were correcting people who were accidentally going to the wrong website, comparethemeerkat.com instead of compare the market, but it's so far removed from that now hardly anyone can remember why there are meerkats in the first place.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Those sodding meerkats. And you know, they grew on me in the end. But simples makes me irrationally annoyed.


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## Catharinem (Dec 17, 2014)

Nettles said:


> I'm totally lost on this thread now..
> 
> So...if the word furbaby makes you cringe then you must give a valid and acceptable reason for why it makes you cringe.. if you can't give a valid reason, then it's assumed you must think people who use it can't tell the difference between a child and a dog?
> 
> ...


Al-you-min-ee-um.


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## Jackien4 (May 16, 2015)

Can't stand it when people say " no your alright" and " that's cracks me up"


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

Catharinem said:


> Al-you-min-ee-um.


Am I saying it wrong? I say al-uh-min-ee-um


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

'Smash it' meaning 'to do well/succeed' really annoys me. Seen a lot on XFactor, BGT etc. Last time I heard it was on one of those programmes about child beauty pageants, some awful pushy parent barking at her tiny, subdued daughter.


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## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

Catharinem said:


> Al-you-min-ee-um.


Oh crap.. even when I say it slow it's wrong :Hilarious I really don't think we pronounce the "ee" over here.. I think it's al-ah-min-yum.. I'm going with @catz4m8z suggestion and just saying "met-al" from now on :Happy


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

smokeybear said:


> Game, set and match I think. ROFLMAO


Just using your language or didn't you get that?


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

ouesi said:


> Oh I hear it a lot!
> I'm pretty mellow about it unless someone calls my dogs my furbabies, as in "oh, they're you're furbabies aren't they?" No... they're my dogs.
> Had a receptionist at the vet refer to them as such, it didn't sit well with me. But she's new, and I know the office pretty well, she'll stop soon enough


Most of the people I know who use it are American. They are part of a closed chat group on yahoo.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

picaresque said:


> I've been away from the thread and I can see it's moved on but what? What do you mean by this? Have you massively misunderstood me?
> 
> You are like a dog with a bone.


 Grrrrr!


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

I used to be a cool beans. I think I have started to say awesome @ouesi !

I do have another word from my uncle who is new to forums but thankfully not on PF. His work is 'sh*tpickers', a phrase he has coined for those who lurk around forums waiting to pick up on the slightest mistake by selected users and then bathe themselves in the manure of a small but pointless victory as nobody cares apart from them.

Make what you will of it!


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

'Rock'.

As in 'she was rocking a fluorescent yellow boob tube & lurex hotpants'

Or

'They rocked up at my house'


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## steveshanks (Feb 19, 2015)

Just say Alloy, nothing is pure Aluminium anyway


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## steveshanks (Feb 19, 2015)

Are we doing rude words? I love F*%!wit and Numpty


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## Katalyst (Aug 11, 2015)

ouesi said:


> Spin off from a comment in a thread in dog chat. Just for a bit of fun.
> 
> Does the term furbaby make you cringe?
> Don't care either way?
> ...


CRINGE!

I don't know why I hate it so much. I think it's because I associate the term with people who own morbidly obese and surfing pugs etc. Which is generalising horribly but you get me.
I just find it a bit odd. Don't get me wrong, Logan is far more than a dog to me. But I'm well aware that he isn't a baby. 
Saying that, I tend to refer to him as my furry son. Which is equally ridiculous.


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

What happened to this thread !!?    


















:Smug


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## Catharinem (Dec 17, 2014)

steveshanks said:


> Are we doing rude words? I love F*%!wit and Numpty


Is numpty rude? I use it all the time, as in " you great numpty". I always thought it meant " thick, but in loveable way".


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Slightly off piste, but when someone starts a sentence with "Oh, I love X to bits, but ......", usually followed by a complete character assassination!


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## steveshanks (Feb 19, 2015)

I think your right Catherinem


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## Lexiedhb (Jun 9, 2011)

Catharinem said:


> Is numpty rude? I use it all the time, as in " you great numpty". I always thought it meant " thick, but in loveable way".


tis pretty rude I guess, when it defines as

'a stupid or ineffectual person.'


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## Guest (Jul 19, 2016)

MollySmith said:


> I used to be a cool beans. I think I have started to say awesome @ouesi !
> 
> I do have another word from my uncle who is new to forums but thankfully not on PF. His work is 'sh*tpickers', a phrase he has coined for those who lurk around forums waiting to pick up on the slightest mistake by selected users and then bathe themselves in the manure of a small but pointless victory as nobody cares apart from them.
> 
> Make what you will of it!


Oh I'm so stealing 'shitpicker'!
New favorite description


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

ouesi said:


> Oh I'm so stealing 'shitpicker'!
> New favorite description


Glad to be of assistance


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## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

ouesi said:


> Oh I'm so stealing 'shitpicker'!
> New favorite description


I use that term when I go and do the horses


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## Guest (Jul 19, 2016)

Jackien4 said:


> Can't stand it when people say " no your alright" and " that's cracks me up"


You must find me very annoying, I use "cracks me up" all the time!!! 
Not apologizing for that one, I love that phrase, it's so perfectly descriptive of what it feels like to have that smile/giggle break through


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## Jackien4 (May 16, 2015)

ouesi said:


> You must find me very annoying, I use "cracks me up" all the time!!!
> Not apologizing for that one, I love that phrase, it's so perfectly descriptive of what it feels like to have that smile/giggle break through


I don't mind you saying it ha ha


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## kittih (Jan 19, 2014)

I am neutral in the fur baby category. I don't use it myself but don't care whether or not others do.

My pet hate is the word gobsmacked. It is such an ugly expression. And I really cringe if I hear it said by anyone in a professional context on the TV, be they presenters or guests.


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## Guest (Jul 19, 2016)

Sacremist said:


> Most of the people I know who use it are American. They are part of a closed chat group on yahoo.


IME it seems to be more common with cat owners than dog owners. 
I seem to hear cats referred to as furbabies more than I hear dogs referred to as such.


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## Brrosa (Mar 21, 2016)

ouesi said:


> IME it seems to be more common with cat owners than dog owners.
> I seem to hear cats referred to as furbabies more than I hear dogs referred to as such.


I agree that when I have seen it used it is on CatChat rather then DogChat. Also it seems to be more people referring to the OP's cats rather the the OP of the thread using it.


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## FeelTheBern (Jan 13, 2016)

I hate the term 'furbaby'. What happens if you have a sphynx cat? Is that a 'skinbaby'? I also hate it when people refer to their pet as their child, and call themselves the parents. I cannot stand it. I am 'owner' and nothing else.


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## Jesthar (May 16, 2011)

rottiepointerhouse said:


> :Hilarious:Hilarious I'm well off then as I've been saying para-did-gem.


The UK English pronunciation tends more to 'para-dime' - working in the software industry you hear it a lot! I tend to deliberately say it as 'para-dig-um' in a famliy sitution, though - we've always loved playing with language, and have whole host of workds we deliberately mispronouce 

Furbaby/furkids - not words I'd use myself, but they're only a mild cringe factor. I do refer to myself as 'mummy' when talking to the cats, and on occasion 'come on, kits' has morphed into 'come on, kids' but not many times. 

If you want to press my mispronunciation Beserk Button, simply pronouce the word nuclear as 'new-killer' instead of 'new-clear' - how hard can it be? :Rage It's spelt out for you in the word itself and everything! :Banghead unch enguin


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

CuddleMonster said:


> Staycation is a holiday you spend in your home country, instead of abroad.


This doesn't make sense, why are we picking up only half of American words for things. Either use it all properly or don't bother. (not directed at you CuddleMonster)

UK call Vacation, holiday, so why are we now using 'Staycation'?

In schools we seem to have mixed up terms now. When I was at school it was:
Playschool - up too age 4.
Primary School 4-11
Secondary School 11-16 with a 'leavers party' at the end of your school life.

Now it's:
Nursery - up to age 4 (don't even know if that's UK or USA)
Primary school (UK)
then 'High School' (USA), and now they all have 'proms' and copy America with the ball gowns and Limos etc...

It's mixed up.

Is pants for trousers going to reach here soon, because that's going to really confuse me :Hilarious, what will I call pants?


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## Guest (Jul 20, 2016)

Muttly said:


> what will I call pants?


Undies, panties, for women, boxers, briefs, for men, or underwear is universal


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

ouesi said:


> Undies, panties, for women, boxers, briefs, for men, or underwear is universal


We call them - lower decker knacker jackers.

Bras are known as upper decker flopper stoppers.


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## Jesthar (May 16, 2011)

Pappychi said:


> Bras are known as upper decker flopper stoppers.


Or Sheepdogs (rounds 'em up and points 'em in the right direction  )


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## Guest (Jul 20, 2016)

Jesthar said:


> Or Sheepdogs (rounds 'em up and points 'em in the right direction  )


That's hilarious!


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

Jesthar said:


> Or Sheepdogs (rounds 'em up and points 'em in the right direction  )


Occasionally referred to as the workhorse :Hilarious


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

My Ex's Mum used to call Bra's 'Over the shoulder-boulder holders" (said in a Bristolian accent) :Hilarious


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

http://sefwi.org.uk/news/106/2016brasketcomp

Brasket - awesome word!


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## Canine K9 (Feb 22, 2013)

Trousers are pants around here  Always called them pants and British "Pants" are underwear 
Furbaby doesn't bother me, I don't use it but don't really care if others do!

I hate the word alright being spelt as "alrite" though !


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## FeelTheBern (Jan 13, 2016)

MollySmith said:


> View attachment 277827
> 
> 
> http://sefwi.org.uk/news/106/2016brasketcomp
> ...


What an incredible use for old underwear!


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

ouesi said:


> IME it seems to be more common with cat owners than dog owners.
> I seem to hear cats referred to as furbabies more than I hear dogs referred to as such.


Yes, I think this is true, The people I refer to are cat people,


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Muttly said:


> This doesn't make sense, why are we picking up only half of American words for things. Either use it all properly or don't bother. (not directed at you CuddleMonster)
> 
> UK call Vacation, holiday, so why are we now using 'Staycation'?
> 
> ...


Trousers have been known as pants in the north for as long as I can remember. Watching TV tonight someone used pants in its slang meaning for bad.


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## Guest (Jul 21, 2016)

When I first moved to the UK I joined a music group and had to see a lady to get a uniform. She gave me a top, and then I asked if I should wear black pants with it. She looked at me oddly and hesitated before confirming.

It was only several hours later that I suddenly twigged!

Mind you, my kiwi mannerisms and accent was a source of great hilarity for a lot of people during those two years!


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

Sacremist said:


> Trousers have been known as pants in the north for as long as I can remember. Watching TV tonight someone used pants in its slang meaning for bad.


Really? Didn't know that. Yup pants is a common word in the West for crap :Smug


----------



## ForestWomble (May 2, 2013)

Muttly said:


> This doesn't make sense, why are we picking up only half of American words for things. Either use it all properly or don't bother. (not directed at you CuddleMonster)
> 
> UK call Vacation, holiday, so why are we now using 'Staycation'?
> 
> ...


Oh goodness, please No! No I couldn't bare it, my poor brain will be getting so confused, it's bad enough watching a US programme or reading a US book, I have to pause and work it out in my head Pants = Trousers.



Pappychi said:


> We call them - lower decker knacker jackers.
> 
> Bras are known as upper decker flopper stoppers.


:Hilarious:Hilarious:Hilarious:Hilarious


----------



## Sh N (Dec 2, 2015)

I'm neutral on Furbaby- but I do frequently (and now I'm embarrassed by it) refer to myself as Maya's Mamma. I guess my maternal instinct towards her justifies it or something, but she's always been my little one, and she plays the part well. 

Sometimes I have to remind myself that if she is human, she would almost be my age. 

Talking about amazing words for bras, one of the colloquial words for a brassiere in Swedish literally translates to "boob holder".


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Muttly said:


> Really? Didn't know that. Yup pants is a common word in the West for crap :Smug


Panties or briefs in northern England are called knickers.


----------



## Fleur (Jul 19, 2008)

Boys wear Pants girls wear Knickers 
Pants is also a word for something that is awful. 
Trousers are simply trousers  
(Southern England)


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

Sacremist said:


> So what is it about those words that makes you cringe? Words like 'dude' make me cringe and I hate the fact the definition of the word 'mean' used to be 'miserly' but now it has the American definition of being 'nasty', but my reason for that is because it is an Americanism that is invading British English. I chose the word 'invading' carefully because that is what it feels like to me as if these American words are invading and corrupting British English.
> 
> When it comes to language, I'm a bit of a purist and I want British English to remain British. I'm fighting a losing battle, of course, but I'll never stop disliking it.


I really think the Americans should stop saying they speak English, they are ruining our language, they should say they speak American and leave ours alone.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2016)

Happy Paws said:


> I really think the Americans should stop saying they speak English, they are ruining our language, they should say they speak American and leave ours alone.


Ruining - says who? Language is always evolving, even in England. People don't speak like Shakespeare still. Even within England people speak completely differently in different areas.

Here in NZ we speak a combination of UK English, American English and 'Kiwi' English - am I allowed to say I speak English?


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## Dimwit (Nov 10, 2011)

McKenzie said:


> Here in NZ we speak a combination of UK English, American English and 'Kiwi' English - *am I allowed to say I speak English*?


Not if you mangle your vowels like most kiwis !


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2016)

Dimwit said:


> Not if you mangle your vowels like most kiwis !


:Hilarious :Hilarious :Hilarious

When I first returned from the UK it was so obvious to me! I still had a kiwi accent but I think it softened a bit in the UK, and it confused people when I got back. But I probably still mangle them. Sorry!  But I maintain the Aussie accent is worse!


----------



## Mr Gizmo (Jul 1, 2009)

McKenzie said:


> Ruining - says who? *Language is always evolving*, even in England. People don't speak like Shakespeare still. Even within England people speak completely differently in different areas.
> 
> Here in NZ we speak a combination of UK English, American English and 'Kiwi' English - am I allowed to say I speak English?


It depends on what is considered evolving.
Personally I think a lot of modern words are a taking a step backwards.


----------



## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

I say Pants for trousers.. and people look at my oddly.. but I lived up north for a lot of my life to still say it now in Cambridgeshire


----------



## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

McKenzie said:


> Ruining - says who? Language is always evolving, even in England. People don't speak like Shakespeare still. Even within England people speak completely differently in different areas.
> 
> Here in NZ we speak a combination of UK English, American English and 'Kiwi' English - am I allowed to say I speak English?


No, apparently you speak Englamerikiwi! Only joking! Snigger.


----------



## Nettles (Mar 24, 2011)

Maybe we should change it so only people in England can use English then  Sure I'll start using my own language of clicks and whistles in case I don't pronounce things to other people's standards ffs


----------



## Brrosa (Mar 21, 2016)

Nettles said:


> Maybe we should change it so only people in England can use English then  Sure I'll start using my own language of clicks and whistles in case I don't pronounce things to other people's standards ffs


Probably only one small area of England


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## Muttly (Oct 1, 2014)

Well, I think people round here will tell you that I don't speak English, I speak Bristolian :Smug Each county has a language of it's own really hasn't it?

I actually quite like hearing in Blockbuster films the Americans saying "I speak English" it's nice


----------



## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

I've been asked what country I'm from, as I couldn't have been born here because I say words properly and pronounce my t's :Hilarious


----------



## Siskin (Nov 13, 2012)

When we came back from living in Berlin, the kids had spent all their time with a bunch or RAF and army children and had a sort of nowheresville accent. We then moved up to Yorkshire and they were teased because they talked posh (anything other then Yorkshire is posh). When we moved back down south to gloucestershire, there were teased for speaking broad Yorkie. When my daughter moved to London she was accused of talking like a farmer..... Ahrrrrrr the answer lies in the soil (put on your braosdest West Country accent)


----------



## Guest (Jul 22, 2016)

Happy Paws said:


> I really think the Americans should stop saying they speak English, they are ruining our language, they should say they speak American and leave ours alone.


I shall take this as full license to point out and correct any grammar and usage mistakes you make in the future 

IME native speakers of any language are the worst offenders. No one speaks the language worse than a native speaker. Second language learners at least respect the rules and don't make stuff up as they go along.


----------



## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)




----------



## Catharinem (Dec 17, 2014)

ouesi said:


> I shall take this as full license to point out and correct any grammar and usage mistakes you make in the future
> 
> IME native speakers of any language are the worst offenders. No one speaks the language worse than a native speaker. Second language learners at least respect the rules and don't make stuff up as they go along.


It's because the natives know the shortcuts and can get away with it without losing the ability to be understood. Non native speakers do everything correctly for fear of making the wrong shortcut. Rather like a beginner cook baking a cake from a book, carefully weighing each ingredient, a more experienced one can be lazy with " about" measures of 1/2 block butter, " that much flour", this much sugar and a bit for luck", and 3 eggs instead of 2 " because they're small". Oh, and using self raising flour plus an extra teaspoon of baking powder, because really, who has time to " cream" the butter and sugar properly, or sift the flour?


----------



## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

I have to politely disagree because I think language evolves. Our shortcuts today are tomorrow's corpus. I am fascinated by linguistics (Rising Ground by Philip Marsden is my current favourite book on the language of places and place names in the South West of Britain).

My employer is one of several academic University publishers involved with the British National Corpus and the Spoken English Corpus. They are two of many studies on change languages and colloquialisms.


----------



## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

Not text speak or plain lazy grammar like the threads that start _Help me plse.....!!!!!!!! _and other crimes I've mentioned! I mean local language.

We used to say muddy ground is clarty. It's not a word as such but a phrase that might be recognised by other Geordies (a language so rich in warmth and dialect).


----------



## Guest (Jul 22, 2016)

Catharinem said:


> It's because the natives know the shortcuts and can get away with it without losing the ability to be understood. Non native speakers do everything correctly for fear of making the wrong shortcut. Rather like a beginner cook baking a cake from a book, carefully weighing each ingredient, a more experienced one can be lazy with " about" measures of 1/2 block butter, " that much flour", this much sugar and a bit for luck", and 3 eggs instead of 2 " because they're small". Oh, and using self raising flour plus an extra teaspoon of baking powder, because really, who has time to " cream" the butter and sugar properly, or sift the flour?


It's because of many reasons. 
Non native speakers can be fluent (you're speaking to one right now), and quite capable of short cuts themselves. But, (making a gross generalization here), because they studied the language as a second language, the are more aware of the structures and patterns of the language, as well as the usage rules so are more likely to use it correctly, as opposed to native speakers who rely more on what 'sounds right', which is not always correct.


----------



## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

ouesi said:


> It's because of many reasons.
> Non native speakers can be fluent (you're speaking to one right now), and quite capable of short cuts themselves. But, (making a gross generalization here), because they studied the language as a second language, the are more aware of the structures and patterns of the language, as well as the usage rules so are more likely to use it correctly, as opposed to native speakers who rely more on what 'sounds right', which is not always correct.


I'd agree with that - I've become much more 'language conscious' since I started teaching English to refugees...I've also learned the 'rules' behind some of my English usage which I wouldn't have known otherwise.


----------



## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Native speakers of a language who don't follow the correct rules and structures of a language are not necessarily being lazy, they speak the language they learn from birth, which is usually a regional dialect. Their patterns of speech may differ from what is recognised as the standard for their country, in Britain that standard is set by the Middlesex dialect, but that doesn't make other dialects wrong just different. 

In schools children are encouraged to recognise the difference between the standard British dialect and the dialect for their region, so they can switch register as and when appropriate. Standard British English is seen as more formal and so should be used in formal situations with regional dialects preserved for informal situations. 

Non-native speakers would only be taught Standard British English. They would learn regional dialect words by living in a particular region.

When I've looked at the etymology of words and the pronunciation of them (accent) I've discovered the regional pronunciation here in the north of England is often more akin to the original pronunciation from centuries ago. I was first struck by this at Uni after listening to a recording of old English being spoken. I was surprised to hear words pronounced in the same way that today is considered a broad northern accent, so is that lazy? I don't think it is, I think it is simply language evolving in different ways in different regions.

Pre 20th century people didn't have much contact with people from other regions due to poor transport and the fact that media didn't give people the vast global communication they have today. People lived in smaller communities, they were more insular, so accent and dialect differences were more pronounced. 

Global transport and communication has levelled out some of those differences, but not them all. In my teens and twenties, I recall the older generation speaking with a much broader accent than do many people of today's younger generation. I don't usually use a lot of broad northern dialect, but I understand it when it's spoken. I have a CD called 'Lanky Spocken Ere'. It's a comedy CD in which old Lancashire dialect words are said followed by a BBC newsreader's interpretation. Many young people today in this region do not understand the northern dialect. Everyone of my generation from around here understands every word.


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## Siskin (Nov 13, 2012)

I lived up in the Yorkshire dales for a few years when my children were young and accents were easily absorbed especially as a defence mechanism at school. They literally went from their previous accents and way of speaking to a Yorkshire accent ŵithin a week.
Someone told me that each Dale had its own accent and even to my untutored ear I could here differences between the Dales. 
When we moved back down south five years later, we moved to a village in Gloucestershire and my son, then aged 11, started chatting to an elderly lady who used to live in the Dales. I met her a few days later and she told me that she had met my son and said 'I know where you used to live in the Dales'. I thought my son had told her the village name, but no. She recognised his accent and was able to place it to the Dale we had lived in even though it hadn't been his accent from birth, he had thoroughly absorbed it from the native children in the village.


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## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

It's probably worth clarifying what dialect is. The Corpus whom I mentioned and the British Library define dialect as "a specific variety of English that differs from other varieties." It also breaks it down to lexis (which is the vocabulary), grammar (structure) and phonology (pronunciation or accent). So my relatives (and me when I'm in the area and easily influenced!) use words like 'gan' (go), mysel, yoursel, hissel. They aren't poor _grammar_ or _language_ but examples of a *dialect* speaker.

I think that we're in danger of confusing grammar with lexis and phonology.


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