# Question for Breeders - how often do you say no?



## popoki (Dec 28, 2010)

OH and I have recently been discussing breeding pedigree cats. 

It's certainly not something we'd even consider for a good few years yet, closer to semi retirement - if at all! 

However, OH made the point - how often would you say no to prospective owners. He said he'd probably say no to most people if they didn't come up to standard and admits we'd probably end up keeping all the kittens! :lol:

So I just wondered how often do you say no to owners and at what stage?

We've only dealt with two breeders and in both cases had long phone conversations before we went to meet them and then spent about 2 hours each time talking to them and meeting their cats. We'd have been devastated if either of them didn't think we were suitable owners! And I imagine it's even harder once the potential owner has met the kittens!

Reading the stories about how tough it can be for some to get a rescue cat - I just wondered how pedigree breeders compared.

Feel free to move this post into Cat Chat if you think it's more suited there!


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## gskinner123 (Mar 10, 2010)

I'll have to apologise up front as think this'll be a long reply  It's hard to say why I personally find I "can't help at the moment, sorry" some people who enquire, without giving an explanation why I do that, i.e. without making it sound like I'm too judgmental/overly fussy.

I've bred cats for such a long time, it's mostly gut instinct now and I just hope that my instinct is right *most* of the time. 99% of the time things never get to the stage where I need say 'no'. That'd be because... I get a one line email which says 'have you got any kittens?'; 'how much are your kittens?'; 'I'm looking for a kitten, here's my mobile number, ring me'.

A few folk who do initially sound fine who come to meet us and the cats, I've ended up either saying no to or, more usually, taking the coward's way out and making an excuse so we don't have an uncomfortable confrontation  Off the top of my head, thinking about more recent occasions, that's been a family who turned up with three lovely kids but who were totally out of control (trust me, it was bedlam and I felt quite fortunate we didn't have an injured kitten before I managed to get them out of the house). Or people who only let on when they come to visit that they're away from home working very long hours/away on business.. or one half of the couple is obviously more concerned about the fact that they've bought a new leather settee.

I suppose I could have shortened this by saying that I get enough really lovely, genuine enquiries from people who then visit and are equally as lovely in person and sort of 'fit' the type of home I want for my kittens... that I find I don't have to say no very often because those people don't usually make a visit - I've already said sorry, can't help


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## angel a (Mar 2, 2011)

I learnt very quickly with my first litter of kittens that listening to my instinct was so important in finding the right homes for my kittens. You get talking to people on the phone who in the beginning sound quite promising, but as you continue the conversation they start to tell you things about themselves or their lives that dont lend themselves to being cat owners. I also get so many emails, a typical one being "how much do you want for that kitten" that will not even be answered. 

Having got past scrutiny on the telephone, a lovely gent turned up to look at the kittens and although he knew the price before he arrived, he started to query how much they were and tried to haggle with me. I told him I wasnt a second hand car dealer and maybe he should go elsewhere and showed him the door. That is the only time I have had to do that, thank goodness. 

I have had photos back of nearly all the kittens I have bred (one even has his own youtube) and when you see them healthy and happy, and giving so much love and enjoyment to their owners it makes all the hard work worthwhile


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## havoc (Dec 8, 2008)

I've only ever said a direct 'no' once in my life. It was someone who just wouldn't phone before they visited and had only communicated by email. It's something I normally never let happen but they knew someone who got their cat from me ...... First and last time anyone has ever got has far as the house to be told no. I too screen on the phone and rarely tell anyone directly they can't have a kitten on an initial call. I stay very vague about available kittens at the start or, if I'm not getting the right vibes straight away I might suggest something like they 'research the breed' and then come back to me if they're really sure it's what they want. One or two have actually done so over the years and turned out to be lovely.


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## Cerridwen (Jul 26, 2008)

Not very often and when I do it's at an early stage. Usually at the "e-mail/phone stage". Most people who are interested in my cats are regular people, not strange or weird at all. Perfectly normal people who just want a pet.


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## popoki (Dec 28, 2010)

Thanks everyone, very interesting reading so far!


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

I've not said no to anyone yet who has got to the visit stage. It's usually in email enquiries and I don't tend to say no outright but put them off by giving loads of info about having them neutered etc. It's usually the ones that start by saying 'how much are your kittens' but to be honest I've not had many like that.
I have email and photo updates from my babies and have one as a friend on FB too - he has his own page


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## dom85 (Apr 5, 2011)

I'm not a breeder but a very good friend of mine is and we've often had the conversation about how she does it and that I just dont think I could do and would end up keeping them all and she said that she never considers them as hers, she's just looking after them until they go their homes.

I supposed it depends how big a breeder you are but as she only has a couple of litters a year she always has homes for her kittens and avoids the confrontation with the 'waiting list' excuse as most of the people that are unsuitable are people who just want a kitten NOW and haven't really put a lot of thought into owning a cat. I think people who care about the animals that they want and have really considered the breed then they will wait.


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## loz83 (Mar 28, 2011)

my cats just had a litter (moggies) and i have a small waiting list 

dint want to have to advertise but if i did i would be as stringent as the breeders on who took my kittens home with them


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## havoc (Dec 8, 2008)

> tried to haggle with me


That would illicit an instant refusal from me too.



> I get a one line email which says 'have you got any kittens?'; 'how much are your kittens?'


You actually get the punctuation with those? I'm rarely lucky enough to get a literary genius who bothers with a question mark. Your one line enquiries are definitely a cut above mine


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## Blondie (Feb 27, 2011)

I dont breed cats, I breed dogs, lol!

But, yeah, we turn down more people than enough when we have a litter, lol!

The most common reason is people who email and cant even spell the breed name right :and people who ring and cant pronounce it correctly.: Its a big no-no for me and really annoys me people cant even get the name right


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## gskinner123 (Mar 10, 2010)

havoc said:


> You actually get the punctuation with those? I'm rarely lucky enough to get a literary genius who bothers with a question mark. Your one line enquiries are definitely a cut above mine


oh no very littel or no punctuation.they usually look a bit more like ur kittens r lovely have u got any 4 sale at hte moment

I sound like a snob, don't I?  But it's a hard fact that anyone who sends a one-liner, especially in text speak, never responds favourably to a polite reply asking for a little more information about them, etc. I know that because I used to try. A long time ago.


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## havoc (Dec 8, 2008)

You and me both. I no longer give a moble number because I cannot cope with textspeak. I can't cope with people texting about kittens at all so it's landline only now. I also noticed that people are far more likely to phone a mobile number at all hours of the day and night whereas they generally still stick to more sociable hours when phoning a landline.


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## Cooniemum (Jun 16, 2010)

I think I am quite lucky that the majority of our enquiries are genuine and I get a good feel for people. I hate it when people email and say 'how much are your kittens?' as their first question.

I respond to every single enquiry out of politeness but if I am not happy with someone then I just say we have no availability or that I will add them to my waiting list.

My babies are far too precious for me to let them go to a home where I am not 100% convinced they will be happy.


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## missye87 (Apr 4, 2011)

Cooniemum said:


> I think I am quite lucky that the majority of our enquiries are genuine and I get a good feel for people. I hate it when people email and say 'how much are your kittens?' as their first question.
> 
> I respond to every single enquiry out of politeness but if I am not happy with someone then I just say we have no availability or that I will add them to my waiting list.
> 
> My babies are far too precious for me to let them go to a home where I am not 100% convinced they will be happy.


I think the main word to be picked up on is 'babies', at the end of the day, if your attitude is that they are your own babies, then you would look out for them like they are your own. I would compare it to letting a teenage daughter go on a date with a boy for the first time lol!

If I ever were to become a breeder, I would make sure the little furbabies are going somewhere that is going to be their forever home. However, sadly, there are some people that have the attitude that they can make a quick couple of quid off the kittens sales, I'm more inclined to believe these are the less responsible people who breed their girls "because it's fun" or "because it would be interesting to see". Compare that to the breeders who refer to their kittens many times as 'babies', who DO do it for fun, as a hobby, but are properly read up on the subject, know what to expect, and realise that there is a lot of hard work involved. As Havoc has previously pointed out to me, as a serious breeder you rarely cover the costs of breeding so it's hardly for financial gain.


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## gskinner123 (Mar 10, 2010)

Missy, you've made me feel guilty now  I don't refer to mine as 'my babies' though, oddly, the only person I do say 'the babies' to is my OH. I think that's perhaps because when I'm talking to prospective owners I want to sound a bit professional (though that's the wrong word I can't think of a substitute) and not like a mad old cat lady. Though in no way am I saying that that would make you such as I do use the term in private.

I also hate Americanisms, sorry  Such as furbabies, furkids or even 'the kids'.

In summary, I'm probably quite old fashioned and more of the mad old cat lady than I care to let onto the rest of the world about


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## Taylorbaby (Jan 10, 2009)

gskinner123 said:


> oh no very littel or no punctuation.they usually look a bit more like ur kittens r lovely have u got any 4 sale at hte moment
> 
> I sound like a snob, don't I?  But it's a hard fact that anyone who sends a one-liner, especially in text speak, never responds favourably to a polite reply asking for a little more information about them, etc. I know that because I used to try. A long time ago.


Oh I Hate text talk!! Its ruining the queens english haha! :nono: :001_smile: :001_smile: (I really cant stand it though - nor understand it!!)



Cooniemum said:


> I think I am quite lucky that the majority of our enquiries are genuine and I get a good feel for people. I hate it when people email and say 'how much are your kittens?' as their first question.
> 
> I respond to every single enquiry out of politeness but if I am not happy with someone then I just say we have no availability or that I will add them to my waiting list.
> 
> My babies are far too precious for me to let them go to a home where I am not 100% convinced they will be happy.


Same here! And I do say that they are my babies, and the cats are my kids (sorry skinner is kids american?! :tongue_smilie: )

Normally they dont get passed a email or phone-call, but have said no to 3 people when they got here, long stories, one was quite sad as it was only due to one person, but they didnt care  :nono:

I did have a phone call and when I asked what breed they were after she said 'Oh I dunno, I dont care, whatever'  'does it come with a pedigree and all that crap?' : 'erm...bye!' :nono:


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## missye87 (Apr 4, 2011)

gskinner123 said:


> Missy, you've made me feel guilty now  I don't refer to mine as 'my babies' though, oddly, the only person I do say 'the babies' to is my OH. I think that's perhaps because when I'm talking to prospective owners I want to sound a bit professional (though that's the wrong word I can't think of a substitute) and not like a mad old cat lady. Though in no way am I saying that that would make you such as I do use the term in private.
> 
> I also hate Americanisms, sorry  Such as furbabies, furkids or even 'the kids'.
> 
> In summary, I'm probably quite old fashioned and more of the mad old cat lady than I care to let onto the rest of the world about


What I forgot to say was that I was using it as an example, not really a general "if you say furbabies you are great, if you don't you are a terrible breeder" type thing. I was pointing more to the type of attitude rather than what we each call our cats and kittens 
I call Sooty my baby, and the love of my life, because quite simply he is  I've had him since I was 9, so have grown up with him and we just have that special bond, you know?


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## angel a (Mar 2, 2011)

Of course they are my babies, from the moment they are born to the moment they leave for their new homes, they are my life. I sleep with them by my side, I cook all their food for them, make sure they are litter trained, playing with them and have spent hours with some trying to teach them to use a scratching post! I have also hand reared quite a few now, which entails feeding every 2 or 3 hours day and night which is so emotionally and physically draining.

But Im glad its not just me then that doesnt refer to my kittens as "my babies" in public. I also dont want to be thought of as "the mad old cat woman"....however I was crushed inside when my 21 year old daughter said she would rather be a mad old cat woman like me than marry any of the emotionally retarded boys she has met since she has been at university!! (I have by the way been happily married for 24 years!)


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## Taylorbaby (Jan 10, 2009)

angel a said:


> Of course they are my babies, from the moment they are born to the moment they leave for their new homes, they are my life. I sleep with them by my side, I cook all their food for them, make sure they are litter trained, playing with them and have spent hours with some trying to teach them to use a scratching post! I have also hand reared quite a few now, which entails feeding every 2 or 3 hours day and night which is so emotionally and physically draining.
> 
> But Im glad its not just me then that doesnt refer to my kittens as "my babies" in public. I also dont want to be thought of as "the mad old cat woman"....however I was crushed inside when my 21 year old daughter said she would rather be a mad old cat woman like me than marry any of the emotionally retarded boys she has met since she has been at university!! (I have by the way been happily married for 24 years!)


nothing wrong with a mad cat women! :001_smile: 
esp when your walking down the road with one on a harness and 2 not on one talking to them and everyone looks :tongue_smilie:

who else am I gonna talk to?!


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## raggs (Aug 3, 2008)

as breeders of Ragdolls we have never said no to any prospective new owners of our kittens but thats not to say i wouldnt, believe me i would have no hesitation in refusing to let a family or person have one of our kittens if i thought there was any reasoni gind its best to askasmuch as possible grom them on the initial phone call then once there come to view then ask anything you wish to know. As with all good breeders, a lot of time, love and affection goes into producing the best kittens we can and therefore we want the best homes possible for them........best wishes........Chris


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## BSH (Jul 28, 2010)

Interesting thread. I will never be a breeder but if I were, I would probably end up keeping every kitten I bred as I think I would find letting them go to live with someone else, whom I trusted enough, would be nigh on impossible for me (I have "issues" with trusting others I guess ).

When I initially made enquiries about getting some kittens and sent out emails to breeders I think I must have bored some to death with my 4 page epic on my life, my previous cats since the age of 6, my inner turmoil now I was bereft living without any cats at home, my general pleading and begging to be allowed to have one of their kittens... I must have come across as a complete fruit loop! :lol: A single sentence enquiry regarding "kitten availability" would immediately get a "sorry no" reply and a swift transfer to the Recycle Bin!

gskinner...I also cringe when I hear the term "furbabies" (no offence to those who do use the term, it's a free world and all). Although I am a self-confessed mad cat man and proud of it


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## gskinner123 (Mar 10, 2010)

BSH said:


> Interesting thread. I will never be a breeder but if I were, I would probably end up keeping every kitten I bred as I think I would find letting them go to live with someone else, whom I trusted enough, would be nigh on impossible for me (I have "issues" with trusting others I guess ).
> 
> When I initially made enquiries about getting some kittens and sent out emails to breeders I think I must have bored some to death with my 4 page epic on my life, my previous cats since the age of 6, my inner turmoil now I was bereft living without any cats at home, my general pleading and begging to be allowed to have one of their kittens... I must have come across as a complete fruit loop! :lol: A single sentence enquiry regarding "kitten availability" would immediately get a "sorry no" reply and a swift transfer to the Recycle Bin!
> 
> gskinner...I also cringe when I hear the term "furbabies" (no offence to those who do use the term, it's a free world and all). Although I am a self-confessed mad cat man and proud of it


Ah no, see, that's just the sort of email breeders love to receive. Not that I'm suggesting anyone need beg and plead  But it's so nice to receive that sort of initial enquiry.

I think I may have the horrors of the term furbaby as a result of post natal trauma  The woman in next bed to me, who'd delivered a tiny, perfect looking, blonde baby girl, peered into my also newborn daughter's cot and said in a loud voice, OMG, your baby looks like a chimp :cryin:


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## Marley boy (Sep 6, 2010)

gskinner123 said:


> Ah no, see, that's just the sort of email breeders love to receive. Not that I'm suggesting anyone need beg and plead  But it's so nice to receive that sort of initial enquiry.
> 
> I think I may have the horrors of the term furbaby as a result of post natal trauma  The woman in next bed to me, who'd delivered a tiny, perfect looking, blonde baby girl, peered into my also newborn daughter's cot and said in a loud voice, OMG, your baby looks like a chimp :cryin:


omg that awful i would have slapped her


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## gskinner123 (Mar 10, 2010)

Marley boy said:


> omg that awful i would have slapped her


I can laugh now but what made it worse was when I told hubby during visiting and he said well... she kinda does look like a monkey. Floods of tears, all over again. Thing is though, she did  All 10lbs of her, jaundiced and with a mass of thick black hair (all over her forehead too!) and scrunched up face. Fortunately, she's quite a looker now at 27 and no longer has a hairy forehead 

The bloody woman walked out of the maternity ward in a pair of skin tight size 10 jeans too which deserves a double slap


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## BSH (Jul 28, 2010)

Oh how rude 

I do have to keep my mouth zipped at work though, some babies are just plain ugly immediately after birth and I just can not lie and say they look cute when they clearly do not! But as my old mum would have said, "If you don't have anything good to say , shut the hell up"!

Anyway, we deviate, back to breeders comments


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

gskinner123 said:


> Ah no, see, that's just the sort of email breeders love to receive. Not that I'm suggesting anyone need beg and plead  But it's so nice to receive that sort of initial enquiry.
> 
> I think I may have the horrors of the term furbaby as a result of post natal trauma  The woman in next bed to me, who'd delivered a tiny, perfect looking, blonde baby girl, peered into my also newborn daughter's cot and said in a loud voice, OMG, your baby looks like a chimp :cryin:


:lol: when my sister was born she still had the black downy hair all over her arms and legs (can't remember its proper name) and I said to my mum. 'she looks like a monkey.'


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## BSH (Jul 28, 2010)

lymorelynn said:


> :lol: when my sister was born she still had the black downy hair all over her arms and legs (can't remember its proper name)


It is called lanugo hair. People with Anorexia nervosa also develop this in advanced illness (just for your general info in case it comes up in a pub quiz or mastermind )


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## missye87 (Apr 4, 2011)

Taylorbaby said:


> nothing wrong with a mad cat women! :001_smile:
> esp when your walking down the road with one on a harness and 2 not on one talking to them and everyone looks :tongue_smilie:
> 
> who else am I gonna talk to?!


Eek does that make me a mad cat lady? Sooty goes to the vets on a leash rather than having a boxing match over the carrier which I inevitably always lose! The kids love it though and always ask to pet him. He howls as if I'm about to kill him but "conveniently" he stops when he gets attention, hmph!


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## missye87 (Apr 4, 2011)

So we went from breeders saying no to prospective homes, to mad cat ladies to chimps


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## Taylorbaby (Jan 10, 2009)

BSH said:


> When I initially made enquiries about getting some kittens and sent out emails to breeders I think I must have bored some to death with my 4 page epic on my life, my previous cats since the age of 6, my inner turmoil now I was bereft living without any cats at home, my general pleading and begging to be allowed to have one of their kittens... I must have come across as a complete fruit loop! :lol: A single sentence enquiry regarding "kitten availability" would immediately get a "sorry no" reply and a swift transfer to the Recycle Bin!


Trust me if its a good breeder, we Love getting those emails, I end up knowing all about the people having kittens from me, from their kids, to their first husbands, to their jobs to their problems! And years on we still text at least a few times a month! :001_smile:

Got some lovely get well cards from everyone when I went into hosiptal, I wasnt expecting that! 



missye87 said:


> Eek does that make me a mad cat lady? Sooty goes to the vets on a leash rather than having a boxing match over the carrier which I inevitably always lose! The kids love it though and always ask to pet him. He howls as if I'm about to kill him but "conveniently" he stops when he gets attention, hmph!


lol if your twitching throwing them at people like the simpsons women...your only half way there! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :blink:


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## Sparkles87 (Aug 30, 2010)

gskinner123 said:


> I think I may have the horrors of the term furbaby as a result of post natal trauma  The woman in next bed to me, who'd delivered a tiny, perfect looking, blonde baby girl, peered into my also newborn daughter's cot and said in a loud voice, OMG, your baby looks like a chimp :cryin:


This honestly made me cry with laughter for some reason. Thank you and sorry all at the same time gskinner :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## juzzyjuz (Mar 28, 2011)

Hmmm what does it say that it also made me burst out laughing too. Soo glad im sat here by myself lol so im not getting any strange looks off anyone lol


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## popoki (Dec 28, 2010)

Thanks for all the replies, love the way the thread took a turn too! :lol:

BSH - you sound like my OH!


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## BSH (Jul 28, 2010)

popoki said:


> BSH - you sound like my OH!


Then he must be an outstanding chap :tongue_smilie:


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## Dozymoo (Feb 26, 2009)

I was a hairy baby when I was born. Really jaundiced skin, black eyes and black hair all over my head, back and arms.

My mum was convinced that I wasn't her baby for a few hours. She was the only Caucasian on her ward so she thought there might have been a mix up!  

I turned blonde after a few months. My baby photos really confuse people


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