# New Rescue Dog Doesn't Like Me



## Spikings (Jan 1, 2013)

This is going to be a long post, sorry for the text!

Back in October my parents got themselves a rescue dog called Bill, an approximately eight year-old deerhound-lurcher cross. My parents have had plenty of dogs before including a rescue, so we all knew to be careful initially and give Bill some space, as according to his previous owners he had suffered abuse for around five years.

It's been a rocky past couple of months, as Bill has tendencies to growl and grumble for various reasons. We don't go near him to fuss him if he's settled down on the floor and if he's standing up he's sometimes ok, but other times he turns away and growls, so we promptly leave him alone.

He gets particularly bad at night. He'll often leave the living room growling and sleep in the dining room for some alone time, but sometimes wakes himself up barking from night-terrors, so he comes back in for comfort. If he's in the same room as us, he can immediately jump up and growl, bark or bare his teeth, even when we're all sitting away from him and doing nothing.

It's a good time to point out I'm often away from home and at university, so I only come back home once every six weeks, and not for long. To put it short, Bill doesn't particularly like me in the slightest. I tried to fuss him at first, but after some growling I backed off and no longer go near him, unless I have food. He'll come up to me if I have food, he'll respond to my commands and automatically give me his paw for a treat, but I still can't touch him. Once he's got his treat, he'll shy away. He also doesn't like my open hands, so I think he's been slapped around in his early life.

He's fine with me when he's outside and loves to play, but I still don't touch him unless he's very much distracted, and I often try to talk to him to get him used to my voice, with friendly tones. I've been home for three weeks now, and since it's Christmas we've had relatives come and go, all of which he doesn't mind and even quite likes my brother, who comes home even less often than I do. I'm a 20-year old woman, so we thought it was unusual that he finds it hard to trust me over full-grown men, as our last rescue dog found the latter pretty scary.

Does anyone have any advice on how to gain Bill's trust? I respect his space now and I know what I can and can't do, but I want him to be able to trust me like anyone else who comes through the door. We've tried calming tablets and droplets, as well as plug-in pheromone scents, but has had little to no effect on him. I'll be going back to university on Saturday, so I won't be able to try any long-term tactics until easter, but any help would be taken on board for when I come back home later on in the year.

Thanks for reading, if you have any questions feel free to ask!


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## Spikings (Jan 1, 2013)

Just a quick bump as the post took a couple of days to get moderated, hope that's ok.


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## Old Shep (Oct 17, 2010)

sorry this sounds quite complicated. He sounds really anxious around you and AFAIK you seem to be doing all the right things.

Do you give him his meals? that may help.


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## Owned By A Yellow Lab (May 16, 2012)

Must be a bit upsetting for you? 

If it's any consolation, it's still early days for Bill, as it can take a long time for a rescue to really truly settle in.

It may be that he was abused by a woman, and that you have the same hair colour or you're the same height or that in some way Bill associates you with her -none of which is your fault of course!

Have you contacted the rescue for advice? They really should be your first port of call and they may even have a trainer or behaviourist who can work with you and your family a bit to help Bill to feel safer.

I think you're doing all the right things and it's very, very frustrating when you can't show a dog any affection - you're right to give him space but I know it can be hard 

I think the advice above about taking over the feeding is a good one.

Who walks Bill?

Are there any toys or games he likes?

I really would urge you to contact the rescue.


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## Spikings (Jan 1, 2013)

In the past week and a half I give him all his meals, and I'm the only one now who gives him any food at all. This will change by tomorrow when I go back to uni, but even though I won't have the chance to work on this actively over the next few months, any advice given will really help out.

We're wondering whether someone who looked like me or had a similar voice to me used to abuse him, but even then I need to find a way to gain his trust - it's very difficult.

*Edit for Owned By A Yellow Lab:*
It's very fustrating, but now I know where I am with Bill and my limitations it's easier, but by no means the most desirable situation.
The rescue we got him from was more of a go-between for when we were interested in having him, but we're still in contact with the previous couple that owned him for three years who treated him well. They know of this situation with me and Bill, but haven't provided any useful insight on what could be causing this, and kindly send their regards.
My mum usually plays with him outside, but a lot of the time I come to join in to bond with him. He's fine with me there and loves playing catch, but as soon as we're back in the house it's a different story. He always looks to me for food now and does as he's told for it, but it's almost like he does it only for the food, and doesn't stretch any further for affection, if you know what I mean.


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## ClaireandDaisy (Jul 4, 2010)

If you are only there for vacations, then does it matter? I`d be happy for my dogs to ignore visitors - which is what you are to him.


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## Owned By A Yellow Lab (May 16, 2012)

Spikings said:


> In the past week and a half I give him all his meals, and I'm the only one now who gives him any food at all. This will change by tomorrow when I go back to uni, but even though I won't have the chance to work on this actively over the next few months, any advice given will really help out.
> 
> We're wondering whether someone who looked like me or had a similar voice to me used to abuse him, but even then I need to find a way to gain his trust - it's very difficult.
> 
> ...


Why did that couple rehome him, out of interest?

Sounds like he's far better outside and feels more relaxed so I think I'd spend as much time as I could interacting with him there, does he get walked?


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## Spikings (Jan 1, 2013)

ClaireandDaisy: University allows me tp be back home for four months a year, it's not like it's just a few days here and there. My parents aren't particularly happy with his behaviour around me either, we know he's a rescue who's been through a lot, but he'll probably be happier for the remainder of his life if he can learn to trust family memebers, as well as strangers a little more, which we're happy to work on.

Owned By A Yellow Lab: They had to rehome him because their daughter was having a baby, and the daughter didn't feel comfortable with Bill around children. We can understand this now, as he doesn't like to be fussed a lot unless he specifically asks for it, and so around children who wouldn't know this, he could have been a bit risky.
Yes, he's much better outside and more relaxed for sure, we guess he was more abused inside. He gets walked three times a day, one short one in the morning, a long walk in the afternoon and a walk around on the park opposite us in the evening.

Thanks for help btw guys, will keep in mind to interact with him more outside. My parents don't want to consult a behaviourist, so that's not going to be an option.


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## tanglewood3 (Nov 13, 2012)

_but I still don't touch him unless he's very much distracted_,

I wouldn't try to touch him if he's distracted as he really won't trust you then and will stay on his guard when you're around.

It's always difficult if we feel our dogs don't like us. We hear stories about people seeing the dogs through the bars of their kennel and there was an instant bond between them, but real life's not like that.

Just continue to ignore him, but maybe throw a nice treat towards him (not too close at first) when you go by without looking at him or saying anything. Let him make any advances. It's hard, but you can't force it and it's probably because something happened in the past and you can't change that. hopefully he will come round in time, but don't take it personally


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## Owned By A Yellow Lab (May 16, 2012)

Sounds like poor Bill has had quite a bit of upheaval in his life, not to mention possibly being abused 

When I rehomed Dex, he was pretty aloof - he did not like being made a fuss of and simply could not tolerate more than about a minute's worth of affection.

Now, over two years later, and he's like a different dog - spends most of his time on his back, legs akimbo, waiting for a tummy rub!

So I think it can take a long time for a rescue to really settle and relax. I would suggest you simply keep interacting with Bill outside as much as possible, and maybe do some of the walks with him?

You may hopefully find that very gradually, he'll trust you more and more and be more responsive to affection. You're doing the right thing by giving him space and not forcing the issue


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## missnaomi (Jun 4, 2010)

We've had several foster dogs a bit like this. We put a house line on them so they can be moved if they try and get something that isn't allowed, or to guide them out to the toilet and otherwise we ignore them and give them time. Eventually, they come to us.

Feeding meals from our hands, doing activities like walks together etc all help, and you don't get to spend much time doing this shared stuff with you being away, but really - my (inexpert) advice would be, don't take it personally, don't try and make things happen, be around, do your usual stuff and let Bill do his. You can't develop trust by making him uncomfortable so don't try and touch him. Just let him get used to you being around without doing anything he doesn't like.


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## dukey101 (Jun 27, 2012)

Just had to say owned by a yellow lab your dex is stunning! What a lovely dog and picture of him! Xx


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Sorry you are having problems, but well done for wanting to contribute to this dog's happiness.

Are you sure he is always growling? I have a lurcher and he actually groans alot. The first time he did it I thought he *was* growling, but realised that it is definitely a groan. He does it alot and usually it's a sign of contentment in him. He is also not the kind of dog that will put his head in your hands for head rubs, etc. unless he wants to play. Although I think he is sure I would never hurt him, he can be aloof too.

That being said, if you are sure it's a growl, then he is telling you that he is feeling uncomfortable and wants his space. Carry on how you are, encouraging him with treats and letting him know that you are no threat to him. It can take a long time for dogs to settle when they have been rehomed, so please persevere. So long as you don't pressurise him he should not have cause to overreact to you, but will slowly accept you. These dogs do benefit from having a space of their own to go to where they will be ignored.

My dog also has very vivid dreams and runs, chases, speaks, barks in his sleep! A couple of times he has jumped up and barked at nothing. Maybe your dog is dreaming (or having nightmares!).

Good luck!


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## Spikings (Jan 1, 2013)

Thank you for all the advice guys, I really appreciate it.  Whenever I have food, he's happy to go near me so long as I don't touch him, so I'll keep doing that to gain his trust. I'll definitely take him on more walks when I go back home at the end of March.
As far as other behaviour with food and house training is concerned, Bill's perfect. He hasn't had any accidents inside the house for as long as we've had him, and if we find him sniffing at food we just warn him and he moves on, without being scared or afraid. So that part is never a problem, even if I have to warn him.
I won't push contact anymore and will let him come to me. We have had confusing moments in the past where he'll go to my parents giving strong signals for fuss and nudging hands, then as soon as he's fussed he growls. Those situations are getting more and more rare now thankfully.

Lurcherlad: Yep, he's definitely growling. In the early days he used to growl very loudly and bare his teeth. Once we remove our hands he goes away from us, wanting to be in another room. Sometimes it comes out as a snarl, even when we're nowhere near him, I think he gets a bit paranoid when in a room with people and he can't see us all, which we understand.
But yes, we definitely give him space if he's uncomfortable, I think only my Dad can stay around Bill after growling, in which case Bill still moves away after a minute or so.
I know this will be difficult since me always being away will make him regard me as a visitor, but he'll probably mellow slowly but surely when I'm not there anyways. Thanks again people!


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