# New Ragdoll Kittens Won't let me pet or pick up - help!



## Lukeh1986 (Oct 22, 2015)

I brought home two beautiful pedigree ragdoll cats 5 days ago, a boy and a girl,and I'm worried they don't want to have anything to do wthi me except play or be fed. They are 14 weeks old. I have their documentation etc and I know they are legit from a proper breeder. I visited them a few times and held them before taking them home and they always seemed relaxed and fine with being held.

When I try to pick them up or even remotely go near them, they back away and hide under their cat tree. They are eating, playing and using their litter tray fine, but won't let me barely pet them and certainly not pick them up. It's weird because at the breeders they were very relaxed and would let me hold and stroke them with no fuss. I've tried coaxing them and have the girl VERY reluctantly eating out of my hand, but they just will not be handled I researched the breed and chose this one because of their docile and affectionate characteristics and I'm worried that things won't change.

I've read a lot of conflicting advice - Should I try and pick them up every day when they are sleepy to get them used to it (even though they'd wriggle away immediately!), or should I keep to their routine and wait for them to come to me? I'm trying to be patient but it feels like I'm not making any progress and if anything they are getting even more distant! 

On a separate note, the girl is very quiet and sweet, but the boy is SO loud when he cries! I know it's normal for a week or two after a move, but does anyone have any advice? I don't want to upset my neighbours! I have been playing gentle cat music a lot which seems to be reducing the duration and frequency of his crying "fits" but when he gets going it honestly is agony not to mention heartbreaking!

Thanks in advance for the advice, I'm a complete novice and just want to do the right thing while they're still young!


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

Let them settle in their own time. Sit in a room with them but don't try to pick them up. Talk to them, read aloud so they get used to the sound of your voice. use toys like feather wands or fishing rod types to entice them to play. They will get used to you soon and be ready to be picked up and fussed before too long I'm sure


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## Lukeh1986 (Oct 22, 2015)

It's been a week now and still no change. The boy has mostly stopped crying and they both play beautifully. One or two "accidents" on some pillows in their room but otherwise fine. They still won't let me touch them though and I've spent as much time as humanly possible! I've tried treats, lying on the floor, ignoring them, but as soon as I remotely go to touch them they back away.

I'm a bit worried because I have to take them to the vets in a couple of weeks and I don't want to have to forcibly pick them up if they're not ready. I can't try putting them in my lap because I can't pick them up to do that! Any recommendations?


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Have you got interactive toys you can play with them at arms length? Play is an excellent way of bonding with kittens and building trust. The Flying Frenzy fishing rod toy is one of the best, it has some great attachments, such as feathers or little mice.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Flying-Fren...&qid=1445769278&sr=1-1&keywords=flying+frenzy

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ratatouille...qid=1445769278&sr=1-13&keywords=flying+frenzy

Start off gently pulling the toy along the floor in case they are frightened of it, and once they show interest get them jumping after it. 

Also, sit on the floor and pull a piece of string very slowly towards you. Put treats on the floor a short distance from you. Don't attempt to touch the kitties, leave it up to them to approach you. They need to build up their confidence. If they do come right up to you just give them a stroke, don't pick them up.

Leave the cat carriers out, with some soft bedding in so they can get used to them, and maybe even sleep in them. Then you will have less trouble getting them in when the time comes for the vet trip, and hopefully by then they will have reached the stage where they trust you more.

Progress may be gradual but I am sure you will get there, and if you stay relaxed about it, and don't worry, your kittens will sense that and be less fearful.


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## moggie14 (Sep 11, 2013)

I must admit it does sound a bit strange as they were so relaxed at the breeders so obviously had been handled.
When they are both really shattered after a long play session and crash out, do they let you approach and touch them then?


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

Strange for Ragdoll kittens,i used to breed Ragdolls and within a few days they were very relaxed in their new homes,
I found that they soon forgot everything else when I got a lazer pen or wand,they just loved chasing it then would actually come and sit in front of me wanting me to play, you could try that
I hope they settle soon, it could also be that there are 2 of them, so they play with each other because they know each other
Good luck, I'm sure they will be fine eventually


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## Lukeh1986 (Oct 22, 2015)

I know it's weird right? They were very chilled and let me hold them at the breeders - the second night I picked the boy up and he let me pet him in my lap for 5 mins, but not since then. 

I play with them loads with a laser pen and wand etc and they LOVE it. I don't get the feeling like they're unhappy, like I said they'll play with me and come near me they just won't let me pet them or pick them up. I could wait until they are sleeping and scoop them up, but I don't want to break their trust by doing that?

Today when the girl was eating I stroked her back with the handle of the wand, and she seemed to be ok with that. Maybe if I do that every time they eat and gradually try to swap the wand with my hand they'll get used to being touched?

I got the girl eating a treat from my hand a few times, but I don't want to give them more than 1 or 2 treats a day as they've just been on royal canin dry food and I think dreamies have given them funny tummies a bit.

I'm desperate to pet them you have no idea how cute they are it's killing me!! I'm trying to be patient but arrgh  I got them to be cuddly cats and so far no cuddles for me despite them literally being two fluffy balls of cuteness!


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## moggie14 (Sep 11, 2013)

I like the wand trick. I didn't mean to pick them up, just wondered if whilst sleepy you could touch them?


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## Lukeh1986 (Oct 22, 2015)

moggie14 said:


> I like the wand trick. I didn't mean to pick them up, just wondered if whilst sleepy you could touch them?


Yeah I've tried waiting until they're napping or chilling out and I can get maybe one stroke in before they'll run off. It's not like they're terrified - it feels more like they just don't like it :/


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

I know not everyone likes cats to share the bedroom, but I find that even shy kitties will often snuggle up next to a sleeping human.


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

Just a thought, did they have children in the breeders house, wondering if the children handled them a bit roughly, and its made them nervous


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

Paddypaws said:


> I know not everyone likes cats to share the bedroom, but I find that even shy kitties will often snuggle up next to a sleeping human.


Have you thought of this, do they sleep in another room?


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## Lukeh1986 (Oct 22, 2015)

The breeder had about 4 adult cats and up to a dozen kittens at one point. I suspect although they were well looked after, they were not picked up and cuddled much and mainly used to playing with their litter mates. I would LOVE to have them sleep in my room, but at the moment they are still in the safe room. I REALLY value my sleep and I don't feel I can trust them not to wake me every night. Also one of them (not sure which) has weed where they shouldn't a few times, and I definitely can't have that in my bedroom so I'd rather not introduce them to this room until they're more settled.

On that note, at what point should I give them access to other rooms? The boy seems ready to explore, but I don't feel I should give them the run of the house until they are at least ok with being petted surely?


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## Squeaks (Oct 16, 2014)

Lukeh1986 said:


> On that note, at what point should I give them access to other rooms? The boy seems ready to explore, but I don't feel I should give them the run of the house until they are at least ok with being petted surely?


Not sure I understand the logic to this? If they're ready to explore then I'd let them. Ours had the run of the house pretty much after the first week. We opened up a room at a time each day, purely to make sure they weren't overwhelmed and always knew where the litter boxes were. With regards to the latter, how many litter boxes do you have? Some cats don't like to pee and poop in the same tray, and some are fastidious about using a tray that is even slightly used. We have two litter boxes for two cats, one on the ground floor and one on the first floor, so they are never too far away from a tray.

I'm afraid I don't have much to add to the petting issue, but it does seem strange they're so reluctant to be fussed. In my limited experience though these things can't be rushed, and cats like to make their own mind up about when and how they want to be fussed. For example Dino loves to curl up in a lap and loves his fusses, but it has to be on his initiation and you cannot pick him up for a fuss as he just scrabbles to be put down. But petting him on the floor or when he curls up in your lap is absolutely fine. Dexter on the other hand rarely comes into a lap for a fuss but will lie on my chest in bed and doesn't mind being picked up, and even rides around on our shoulders if he's in the right mood.

It might be time to try a new tactic, that is to not initiate contact at all unless they instigate it. I know it must be hard to have these cute little bundles of fluff and not be able to fuss them, but you know how cats usually suss out the one person in the room who is afraid of/doesn't like cats, and then decide to put all their efforts into fussing them? Perhaps that's what you need to try - not to ignore them in any way, continue talking to them and playing with them etc. Just don't push the contact as it may be they're sensing your desperation and interpreting that as tense/too forward for their liking?


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## moggie14 (Sep 11, 2013)

Squeaks said:


> Not sure I understand the logic to this?


I'm guessing that if the kittens won't allow touching or picking up it might be hard if they have free access to more rooms and OP needs to move them?
I agree one room at a time and gradually x


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## Jonescat (Feb 5, 2012)

Lukeh1986 said:


> The breeder had about 4 adult cats and up to a dozen kittens at one point. I suspect although they were well looked after, they were not picked up and cuddled much and mainly used to playing with their litter mates.


It's a mean question I know, but are you sure the kittens you held at the breeders are the kittens you have now? Regardless of that, it sounds like it is best to treat them as if they were strays http://messybeast.com/feralkit.htm, and start over.


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

If there were so many kittens ,about 12 you said then they probably didn't get a lot of one to one time ,they would probably be running around with each other
I think possibly give them the run of downstairs and let them go upstairs after a while,
Do you have more than one litter tray, that they can easily get to if in a rush, like one in each room, as if there is one in the kitchen and they are in another room they might not get there in time,kittens forget when playing about toilet and then have to rush and might not make it, at least until they are a bit older,and when they go upstairs one on the landing or in bathroom too
The kittens wont neccessarily keep you awake if in your room ,they usually get used to sleeping when you do
It might be worth trying, to get them closer to you they love snuggling,
When you have kittens or young animals you have to be prepared for disturbance sometimes like babies, ,they *are* babies,they will grow out of it


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## CandyBear (Aug 9, 2016)

Hi is there any chance your could give me an update of how this worked out for you with your kittens? I'm in exactly the same situation with my two 14 week old British Blue Kittens. We have had them a week now and although they are happy to play with me they run as soon as i get close and won't let me stroke or pick them up. My situation isn't helped by the fact that the little boy has conjuntivitus so i'm having to catch him every morning and evening to administer eye drops and that my 2 daughters aged 4 and 2 are a bit full on with them!

I'm really worried they'll never cuddle up to us etc. Thanks


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## Pappychi (Aug 12, 2015)

@CandyBear considering this poster hasn't logged on since October 27th 2015 you're probably better off going into Cat Chat and starting a new thread.


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

I agree, but i think 2 young excitable children might be a bit frightening for them, i would make your children sit quietly and see if the kittens are any more relaxed,
Also they are in new surroundings so understandable if a bit nervous


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