# Possible to get cats used to two homes?



## Bodmass

We're getting a brother & sister pair between myself & the girlfriend, who doesn't live with me. They get on well, being each others preferred playmate within the litter.

I don't live with GF, but naturally we spend time at each others places, additionally her mother has cancer and will no doubt soon be back on the chemo & needing my GF to visit for a few days every other week.

This has got us thinking how practical it may be to get each kitten used to the others property. I have to admit a lack of confidence that this is actually doable (GF thinks it's worth a go), so wondered if anyone else has tried anything like this? Heard of any one trying this?

We're thinking of maybe spending a few days in each property for a week or two before they're separated & then taking one to the other property as a visitor for weekends so that if the need arises for my GF to go off & care for her mum I could take in her cat for a few days.

I suspect this going to be too much for them or is going to prevent them settling in either place, but would appreciate your views.


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## muffin789

Probably not that comparable, but I took both my girls to stay with my parents over Christmas. We were there for about a week, and given both of mine are indoors only, they had the chance to look at the back garden but not visit 

I was completely surprised at how well they coped with being in a strange house, particularly my Pudds who's a very one-person cat! In fact, I'd say it did them both a lot of good!!! They had the fun of tearing up and down stairs (we live in a flat) and getting under the feet of non-cat-people!

I would say that as long as the cats get on well, I think you will be surprised at how adaptable they can be to their surroundings. I honestly thought I was going to struggle to get Pudds used to a completely strange house but she loved every second of it. If possible let them spend as much time as possible together, regardless of whose house they are at - it will make moving them around when needed that much easier.

Hope it all works out!!!


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## ForeverHome

My Misha was used to two homes, mine and my mum's, and went easily form one to the other no problem for holidays etc. Seems the memory of a home stays a very long time so it's immediately familiar when they come back a year later or more.

Have never done this with 2 cats but I do like your approach, my suggestion would have been to make sure they stay at each other's houses on a regular basis to keep their relationship going, but you've got that one planned. Will be very interested to see how it works for you and the cats.

But I do think a cat having a second home is a very good idea for holidays in preference to boarding, if you know someone who has no cats of their own and can take yours short term. I would always try to plan for this. It was our plan for Bobby until Molly came along and messed everything up


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## chillminx

Moving cats between 2 homes on a regular basis is not a problem at all. I have done it myself in the past, years ago. 

But what I feel might not work so well is to separate the 2 cats so they are no longer living together all the time. The exception might be if you only ever separate them for a couple of days at most, and then I would expect it to work OK. 

Adult cats can become very possessive and protective of their own territory even when the visiting cat is a sibling they have grown up with. Each cat would in effect be an 'only' cat in their own home, and 'only' cats are often even more territorial than cats sharing a home.

If you are planning to have the cats living separately all week and only putting them together at weekends, then I would be concerned this was not enough time together to maintain a close bond between them, and without a close bond you could not be certain they would continue to get on together.


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## Bodmass

Thanks!

So it could be worth a try at least 

Maybe I've just been put off by all these posts with people having behavioural problems with their cats,such as getting them to settle in properly.

Must admit, before internet message boards, my old cats were just dumped together when the resident female was a year old & the male 6wks, they just had one litter tray etc and they just got on with life without obvious problems. I wouldn't do that again having read more, but I just didn't know I was doing anything 'wrong' (by todays internet info standards). Basically most cats just get on with their situation don't they? They _are_ pretty adaptable on the whole.

I must remember, the problems are with a minority of cats


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## wicket

Worth a try, but surely the most sensible thing would be for both cats to live with you and have their second home at your girlfriends? Then they would be using to living together all the time so no problems in that aspect and your girlfriend can enjoy them when they come to stay without the added worry at a time when she sounds like she has a lot to deal with.

ps your name has taken me right back to my maths lessons lol


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## OrientalSlave

wicket said:


> <snip>
> ps your name has taken me right back to my maths lessons lol


Thought that was BEDMAS - Brackets, Exponentiation, Division, Multiplication, Addition, Subtraction.


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## chillminx

Bodmass said:


> Basically most cats just get on with their situation don't they? They _are_ pretty adaptable on the whole.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, I agree cats are pretty adaptable, but they are instinctively a very territorial species who are very protective of their resources. Inevitably they will suffer from stress if their territory is invaded by another cat. I see it as our responsibility as pet owners to minimise potential stress for them in their daily lives.
> 
> It is true cats will put up with a lot from their human owners for the sake of regular meals and a warm place to sleep. When I was growing up many people shut their cats out of the house at night in all weathers, and the cats put up with it. Fortunately most people are more enlightened and compassionate these days and realise no cat wants to be outdoors all night in the freezing cold or pouring rain. This is just one example of how we humans have become more sensitive and intuitive to our cats needs in the past 30 years.
> 
> I agree with Wicket - surely the better plan would be for the 2 cats to live together at one address during the week and then both cats to move to the other address (your GF's) at weekends. This way they will have each other's company all the time whilst you are both out at work.
> 
> The other thing to bear in mind is that if these 2 kittens do have a close bond they are going to miss each other if you separate them for days a time. If you keep putting them through continued periods of separation week after week it could be stressful for them. I only have to see how much my 8 mth old kittens missed each other when they were apart for half a day (e.g. when they were both spayed at separate times); how the kitty left at home went
> searching the house for her sister, crying plaintively, and refused to eat until the missing one returned home.
Click to expand...


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## wicket

OrientalSlave said:


> Thought that was BEDMAS - Brackets, Exponentiation, Division, Multiplication, Addition, Subtraction.


It was Bodmas for us -we couldnt have been clever enough to understand (or even say) exponentiation, so we were brackets of division, multiplication addition subtraction - Bodmas - my son been taught the same over 35 years later


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## Bodmass

I was known as Bod at 12 when we were first introduced to Bodmas in Maths. Everyone immediately started calling me that!


I think I've been clear in the OP about my doubts that this was do-able, for the reasons the posters above have mentioned & that was why I asked in the first place.

I don't believe we'll be going down the option that involves me not having a cat Mon-Fri, frankly why bother in the first place if I only wanted the cat for 2 or 3 days? I think I'd rather go without.

The issue is which is better for the cat at the girlfriends (& us), occasional semi-abandonment or an attempt to make hers a 2 house cat? 

I think I may make an attempt at house sharing, but clearly if either cat starts displaying stress behaviour that lasts more than a few days I'm perfectly prepared to call the whole experiment off.

That's all it is at this time, an experiment, not a lifestyle I'm insisting on come hell or high water!

(I must admit it's the repeated separation that is the area I'm most concerned with)


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## ForeverHome

My computer is doing my head in, wrote a reply and internet crashed, thanks then!

It will be interesting, please keep us updated! Have you thought of keeping a diary of how it develops?


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## Bodmass

So the kittens are as thick as thieves, one never so much as leaves the room without the other. Cute, but problematic for what I want to do.

They've spent a week together at mine whilst I was off work to help them settle & now we've all decamped to the girlfriends house. Thinking of first separating them later in the week.

What I would like to know is once we try separating & reuniting them, what should I be looking out for as signs that separation is stressing them more than is fair? I'll be checking that they still eat OK & don't crap in my slippers but are they any other signals I should be looking out for?


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## wicket

Hi, do you mind me asking how old they are ? There is no easy was to say this but if they are inseparable already you are really going to stress them out by separating them, especially so soon after leaving mum.


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## chillminx

It would be such a shame to separate the two of them when they are so bonded with each other and such great playmates and pals.  They will both miss each other a great deal. Please, I beg you to reconsider. 

I have two 9 mth old kittens, sisters/littermates who are the same as yours. They do everything together, play, wash each other, follow each other around, cuddle up together. 

The only time they have ever been apart is when each of them went on separate days to the vet for their spay ops, and were gone most of the day. 

Having seen how both of them behaved without the other one, (searching, anxious, refusing to eat) I wouldn't dream of separating them again by choice ever. It would be so unkind. 

Such closeness in cats is a wonderful thing to see, and should be treasured and respected. In all the years I have had cat companions I have never had 2 cats so close to each other as these two. Yours sound the same.


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## Snuggles2012

Please don't separate these kittens. They will be happier together and are company for one another. It's not something you should do just because it suits your living arrangements, you are responsible for them and you need to make choices which put their welfare first. 

Sorry if that sounds a bit strong but it breaks my heart to think you are planning on doing this


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## Kotanushka

Whatever you do, just do not forget to spay them in time. Some girls go on heat at 4 months old. And the boys can surprise us as well. 
The fact that they are brother and sister would not stop them, but possible offspring would not be very healthy.


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## Bodmass

It's a month later so I thought I'd report back.

We kept them both at mine for a week (they were 8 weeks at first) & then to the girlfriends for four nights before they were separated for one night. They were together then for another three before being split for two nights (increasing weekly). A month down the line and they have just had their first six night separation. Next week they'll be together for five nights at a neighbours as we take a little holiday.

I've got no problems to report with the experiment so far (I say this as someone who has had two cats previously from six weeks to twenty years old, not a beginner).

The Male, Aelfric, with the girlfriend has been a bit clingy (has been keen to be handled since day 1), but not unusually so. My female, Koshka, is a bit stand-offish (not keen on being handled from day 1), but not unusually so. Both are moving to a more middle of the road attitude now though.

They're still thick as thieves when together, but the sister (as an example) will come home from the others, eat, defecate, sleep for hours (they really do tire each other out), and then carry on as a normal playful, affectionate & happy kitten. When her brother has been around & leaves she genuinely seems unconcerned and her behaviour is unchanged from what it was before he turned up.

If anyone has any behaviours they think I should be looking out for I would genuinely like to hear it.

My opinion having tried this: Cats aren't all the same. Because people tend to come to forums with their cat difficulties (& many of you have had experience with rescue cats, which may be the ones who had a tougher start) I think it's easy to forget the majority that don't have problems with various unconventional lifestyles.

This has been done with care for the cats wellbeing and would have been stopped if I detected problems, but in all honesty they have adapted amazingly well, better than I could have hoped.

Many cats no doubt do get stressed by separation, but the majority are adaptable (esp when _very_ young). Now I'm with the opinion of my vet - I should be more concerned about them failing to get on when reintroduced than with the actual separation - at least when it's done carefully.

Bod & Koshka

PS. I am aware that the five nights together whilst we holiday may impact on their behaviour, may even set us back somewhat, so they will be closely monitored when split again. fingers crossed!

PPS Am I now safe to come here asking for behavioural advice without being 'flamed'? :001_unsure:


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## ForeverHome

Thanks for the update, glad to hear it's going so well. If you remember I was supportive of this idea and interested to know how it went, so no shooting down in flames from this direction. For what it's worth I agree and some cats (not all) can be perfectly happy with a normality that others might find strange, if handled well. Congratulations


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## Bodmass

Indeed FH!

Your reassurance was one of the reasons I decided to go along with this mad scheme my girlfriend wanted to try.

Many thanks!

:thumbup::thumbup:


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## chillminx

Hi Bodmass, thank you for coming back to update us, much appreciated

I'm pleased to hear the plan to keep the 2 cats partly separated from each other is working well so far - that must be a relief for you and your GF. 

As you quite rightly say, it is a matter of 'horses for courses' in these matters - some cats will adapt well to this kind of situation and others won't. It is very much a question of individual temperament, and how closely bonded the two cats are (the latter point may be relevant if the cats have had a lot upheaval in their lives and their relationship with each other has been the one constant thing for them).

Like your vet my concerns were mainly as to how the cats would respond to each other when re-introduced after a period of several days apart, but I guess as long as they are never kept apart for more than a few days at a time, it should be fine. :thumbup1:

I do hope your comment about "flaming" was said tongue-in-cheek! :lol: 
I'm sure you realised there was no intent on my part (or anyone else's as far as I can see) to make inflammatory remarks to you. From my POV I was merely trying to be helpful offering advice based on my many years of experience with my own cats (15 cats in all, over the years). But naturally anyone is free to disregard my advice, I never bear grudges. :lol:

I hope things continue to go well with your kitties


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## Bodmass

chillminx said:


> I do hope your comment about "flaming" was said tongue-in-cheek! :lol:


The smiley face was deliberate


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## Bodmass

Hi again folks,

Back here reading up on issues surrounding introducing an 8 week old male kitten to my female, thought I'd report back again as there seem so little experience of my little experiment!

Well, they're now 9 months old and I have to say it's all gone remarkably well! Sometimes they're apart for a week, sometimes a couple of days. Sometimes they're together overnight, sometimes for a few days.

My female is a house cat, girlfriends male is becoming an outdoor cat. This means that when visiting at my girlfriends he's getting kept indoors. I suspect if there is to be any stress in the relationship this will be the cause rather than their unconventional living situation (well, other than the fact a newcomer is going to get involved - just hoping the GFs male isn't territorial about my place!)

They're no longer as close as they once were, but that's natural. As it is, all I can say is that I really have nothing to report and I think I can call the experiment a success :thumbup:


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## chillminx

Hi Bodmass, thank you for coming back to update us. 

Very pleased to hear the experiment has worked out OK for all concerned.:thumbsup: Just goes to show how adaptable (some) cats can be! Well done!


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## ForeverHome

I'll second Chilminx's comment, I did think it was possible if handled right, so well done you. I've lways thought it's a good idea for cats to have a 'second home' but the way you're doing it with the two of them is just lovely and heartwarming. Thanks for the update.


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