# Will my rescue cat ever trust me?



## Tracie3D (Oct 8, 2013)

I have recently adopted a very nervous rescue cat, Willow. 

Despite her timid nature, she is a very inquisitive and playful cat. However whenever I walk into her room, she becomes very frightened and runs to her hiding place. She won't let anyone come near her, let alone touch her. This worries me as, if she ever needed to go to the vet, we wouldn't be able to pick her up, and I think she'd find the whole experience very traumatic. Apart from this, she is a very well behaved cat. She doesn't scratch the furniture, she always uses her litter box, and she eats well. She just seems very afraid and threatened!

I have been taking the time to play with her every day with a 'fishing rod' toy. During this time, she is like a completely different cat! But, after play is over, she goes back into hiding.

I'd like to be able to have a nice, loving relationship with her, where she is more trusting of me. What can I do to increase her confidence and gain her trust?


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

The secret is to let her be and she will come to you in her own good time. She has obviously not had the human contact and she doesn't know that you are on the other end of the fishing rod! I rescued a cat a year ago who had not had any human contact. She was quite wild at first and would attack if I stroked her, but after about three months of just talking to her "hello Betsy" when I put her food down, she started coming to me. She sleeps on my bed which helps no end as she knows I am there. It has taken a whole year for her to venture near the dogs, but that is another story.

Time and patience is what is needed. Make sure she sees you put her food down, so she knows who feeds her.


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## AtticusRavel (Sep 8, 2013)

Willow is very lucky to have you, and I'm sure the relationship will get stronger and stronger. Playing is the best to get your kitty more confident with herself, and with you. Can I suggest you use some "words cue" to introduce yourself before playtime, and use the same tone of voice whenever you try to approach her other times than playtime. Get her used to your voice and to identify you with good things such as play and food. I would try to give her some treats after playing. Maybe at first put them in the floor, and gradually present the food in your hand. Has she be able to sniff you? 

When Atticus was hiding at first, I stayed in the room sometimes, lying in the floor talking calmly. He use to hide under one arm chair, I used to look at him without direct eye contact, so he'd new I was not a threat, and then extend my hand down the chair so he could sniff. I saw he was calm and let me caress his cheeks, gradually he was more confident and walked out. Every situation is different. Of course don't extend your hand if you think she is in an aggressive state. Go on with toys and food treats


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Excellent advice from the previous two posters. Time is the most important thing, and gentleness. Talk to her a lot in a soft voice, and sing to her too. She will learn to trust you gradually and will approach you for affection. Keep nice little treats handy to give her occasionally - pate, dreamies, little bits of chicken. When she associates you with the good things in life, she will relax with you.

You say that you haven't had her long, so try to look at it from her perspective:

1) She is shy and anxious and has spent at least some of her life as a stray, fending for herself and avoiding danger from dogs, traffic and people - she is bound to be wary.

2) She may have been actually abused - kids may have chased, thrown stones at her etc - she has no reason to trust people

3) Having been put into the (terrifying) environment of a rescue, she will have been subjected to noises and sights totally alien to her. SHe may have been spayed, and woken up in pain and disorientated, in a place where lots of different people come and go.

4) Now she is with you. This is her first opportunity to find consistency in and calm in her little life. She is bound to be wary. Just love her and give her time.


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## Tracie3D (Oct 8, 2013)

Thank you for the responses and the useful advice!

She will sometimes sniff, and even lick, my hands, but other times she will recoil in horror! I guess she just needs times to get used to me!

She seems to like it when I talk to her, so I'll keep that up. The poor thing hasn't actually 'meowed' yet, but when I talk to her for a few minutes she'll make a funny gurgly noise, which I'll take as a sign that she's trying to respond!

She seems to be making small progress every day. Today she ate her breakfast while I was in the room with her - she'd previously only eaten when she could be sure she was alone. I'll keep giving her time and patience, and hopefully she'll become happier and more confident in her new home.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Tracie3D said:


> Thank you for the responses and the useful advice!
> 
> She will sometimes sniff, and even lick, my hands, but other times she will recoil in horror! I guess she just needs times to get used to me!
> 
> ...


Some cats never miaow. My Bonnie used open her mouth but nothing would come out, but if you got really, really close there was a little whisper there!


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## ClareThor (Jan 14, 2013)

Hello

I had the same situation 10 months ago now, and Pickle still has a wobble now and again, but the road was frustrating at times and also very very rewarding.

We bought a feliway, for the room where she sleeps and we set about giving her a routine.
I must say she loves her back room now and spends most her time there, but that is where she feels safe.
She has a chair that's hers, set feeding times and a toy corner in the front room. Only this week, she jumped up for some attention on the sofa and thats 10 months after we got her.
It breaks my heart to think what horrible things must had happened to her, as she sometimes still cowers and thinks you are going to hit her.
We did contemplate taking her back as we didn't think our house was the right environment for such a scared adult cat, but she is very happy now in her little world and even even though she is odd and neurotic at times, we both adore her.
Life wouldn't be the same without our little oddball and thats what makes her special to us.

Dont give up but also be prepared for the long haul.

and everyone needs rescuing at some point in their lives


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## koekemakranka (Aug 2, 2010)

Tracie3D said:


> I have *recently *adopted a very nervous rescue cat, Willow.


The operative word. It can take time, just be patient and keep doing what you are doing: loving her and creating a safe home for her.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> Some cats never miaow. My Bonnie used open her mouth but nothing would come out, but if you got really, really close there was a little whisper there!


One of our cats never mewed, and you could only tell she waspurring because of the vibration!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Tracie3D said:


> Thank you for the responses and the useful advice!
> 
> She will sometimes sniff, and even lick, my hands, but other times she will recoil in horror! I guess she just needs times to get used to me!
> 
> ...


These small steps add up surprisingly quickly. You'll get there - well done so far. :wink:


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

Wobbel never meows, he squeaks like a bird 

I think you are doing extremely well with Willow.
She is adjusting well, but, she is doing so at her own pace, like cats do.
And you are allowing her all the time she needs, like a slave should.

So I'd say you and Willow have come to a perfect arrangement, and she is going to be a very happy cat. She is probably very happy right now, even though she is still wary, as she is sure to appreciate the physical and mental space you give her to adjust.


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## Jesthar (May 16, 2011)

Tracie3D said:


> She will sometimes sniff, and even lick, my hands, but other times she will recoil in horror! I guess she just needs times to get used to me!


Try and make sure you always approach/reach out to her slowly and quietly - no sudden movements or jerks. Even cats who are very used to handling can react badly if approached too suddenly - I currently have a couple of small scratches from a friends cat when I reached to get her out of her pen at a show at too high a speed for her comfort. Slowed down my approach and had no more problems at all. 

Reading to her is also a very good idea


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## witchyone (Dec 16, 2011)

My Holly was like that. took her in at about 4 months old, never had human interaction until then. Time and patience and hey presto a loving affectionate little cat. She has quite a vocabulary now and shouts at me when she wants something. She loves to sit on me when i'm reading and demand attention. Takes me ages to read a book these days


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## Tracie3D (Oct 8, 2013)

Thank you for all the advice! I see her confidence increasing every day. 

Any advice on how I can get her to tolerate being touched. Even though I think she's beginning to trust me, every time I go to give her a stroke she flinches and swipes with her paw. I dread to think what's made her feel like this. I'm not sure if she's ever been stroked!

Will she become more tolerant of touching as she relaxes, or is she just one of those cats that doesn't like it?


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

It is natural for cats to rub their heads and bodies against each other to mix scents, which signifies they belong to the sam social group. So in human terms it would be a sign of friendship.

When she trusts you enough to come and rub against you, you can carefully try to touch her in return, but don't actively try to approach her. Let her approach you, leave the initiative with her. That way you show her you respect her and do not try to dominate her.


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## muffin789 (Jan 28, 2013)

Firstly, a huge :thumbup: for taking on your rescue girl - not enough people do, but the rewards (as you're finding as hr confidence grows) are huge!!! Everyone's already given tons of excellent advice, so please forgive me if I repeat anything - but this is only based on experiences I've had, so just goes to show it works I guess!!! 

I've always had rescues, with my first two coming from a local shelter; both had pretty traumatic starts and it was a huge learning curve for me as a cat novice to help them settle.

It sounds as if you're doing all the right things, and I think it really is just going to take some time for her to properly settle; you say you've only recently taken her on - how long's she been with you?? And can we have piccies, please?! They're compulsory around here   hehe

One thing I found REALLY helped my nervous rescues was sitting on the floor and reading to them in a quiet, calm voice for an hour or so at a time. Don't make eye contact, and don't try to stroke - let her come to you on her terms and learn that she can also move away from you on her own terms too without being grabbed (she might have had problems with that in the past). This is a tip I thought was bonkers to start with, but on the three occasions I've used it, it's only taken a matter of a week or so to show huge results!!

Don't be too hard on yourself! From what you've said I really don't think you're doing anything wrong; like all animals who've learned responses to particular behaviours, it can take a while for them them to modify those responses when they find themselves faced with different behaviours. If you haven't got a feliway or pet remedy diffuser, it might be an idea to give one a try, just to give her a bit of reassurance and a calming influence - helped a lot with my two current girls when I introduced them to each other, just to get them over the hiccup of the change in circumstances.

Really hope your girl starts to get over her fears soon, and don't forget those photos!!!!!  xxx


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## wicket (Aug 22, 2012)

Tracie3D said:


> Thank you for all the advice! I see her confidence increasing every day.
> 
> Any advice on how I can get her to tolerate being touched. Even though I think she's beginning to trust me, every time I go to give her a stroke she flinches and swipes with her paw. I dread to think what's made her feel like this. I'm not sure if she's ever been stroked!
> 
> Will she become more tolerant of touching as she relaxes, or is she just one of those cats that doesn't like it?


Years ago my first two cats were six months old and semi ferals as they were born to a feral mum. I didnt actually see then for the first six months, they only came out from behind the sofa after I had gone to be. As others have said patience is th key - if Willow doesnt like being touched personally I wouldnt even try for the next few months. My two eventually became lap cats, but it took a long while and I let them come to me. Good luck be patient and well done for giving Willow such a lovely home


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## Emma32 (Jun 21, 2009)

When we took in my boy Charlie he had been found as a stray. However we discovered that his previous owners had abused him by hitting him and the like. So naturally he wouldn't let any of us touch him for a very long time after we got him home.
It just takes time and patience. Wait for her to come to you, then maybe give it a try again.


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## apricot (Sep 25, 2012)

My feral kittens were trapped at 4 weeks old to be socialised in a foster home. They've never been afraid of me but disappear as soon as anyone else comes and have other feral characteristics which must be inherited. I hadn't expected this as I've had ex-ferals before, who were not rescued until 12 weeks old yet were much more friendly cats.
Rescue cats and dogs come with baggage from their past and their parents' past and all have their own personality too. They may turn into cuddley darlings or may not, however patient you are.


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

( psst.....you can cheat a little.....when doing the sitting on the floor thing, spray some Feliway or Felifriend on your legs and arms....see if that entices her to rub up against you. )


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