# Help/advice required from an experienced re-homer



## Alisonfoy (Mar 20, 2013)

Hello everyone - I am hoping for some advice on a cat I rehomed 3 months ago. Please..

At the start of August, I offered to rehome three of my DH's friend's cats, as he was ill and could not cope with them.

Two of the rehomings have gone really well and the cats are happily settled in. The 3rd however, is causing me concern. The cat in question is a beautiful black-tipped BSH neutered boy. He had a lovely, soppy, laid back personality. After asking around, a lady contacted me having seen me talk about him a local website. She came round, looked at him and seemed so lovely and genuine that I agreed to let him take him, subject to my doing a home visit. This seemed ok - she had one cat already, which she'd rehomed from a local rescue centre the year before, and her flat had a garden, which was a very important factor in my decision to let her have him, as I did not want him to be an indoor cat. It was also agreed that she would make a contribution of £50-60 to a cat welfare trust that had helped rehome one of the other two cats. 

Foolishly, I went with my gut instinct and did not ask her to sign an adoption agreement confirming our agreement. Even more stupidly, I gave her his pedigree and chip info (so she could get him re-chipped).

Roll forward to last week, when I finally managed to get back to see how he was settling in. 
1. The agreed contribution for the cat has never materialised. She gave several excuses, including that there was something on the trust's website she didn't like, to the fact that she had apparently made two calls to the one of the trustees that were not returned.
2. The cat's collar had been removed, even though his chip has not been updated. Then I learned that after a few forays into the garden on a harness I'd loaned her (which he greatly disliked) he no longer goes out at all. Again there were various excuses, but the presence of a garden was one of the main reasons I allowed him to go and live there. He spends all day sitting at the window looking at the activity (birds etc) in the garden. It's heartbreaking.
3. He has not been taken to the vets to have his injections as agreed.
4. He doesn't get on that well with the existing cat, mainly I suspect, because despite my being careful to explain exactly how to introduce new cats to each other, she 'didn't have the time' to do it properly in the first place (it is also very clear that she believes she is always right&#8230
5. He had lost a lot of his 'bounce' and is no longer the affectionate, interactive cat he used to be.

Having made such an effort to find him the right environment to live in, I am really upset to find out this woman's gone back on her word. He has not ended up with the home he deserves. The new family is adamant that they would not sell him, but it very evident that the woman who looks after him values him only for the status of having a high-value cat (for which she has failed to make the agreed donation and as such, has never actually paid for).

Whilst his new environment is adequate, this woman has not kept the promises she made concerning his care. I may be guilty of inexperience when rehoming him, but her behaviour is absolutely shameless. She has failed to respond to either of the (very nicely worded) emails I have send regarding the donation she agreed to make.

Legally, can anyone with experience tell me what the position is, and whether I can require him to be returned to me? 

Thank you for anyone who can help...


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## Cookieandme (Dec 29, 2011)

The thread title asks for an experienced rehomer - I am not. However my opinion is that I very much doubt you can do anything about the situation you have found yourself in.


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## Alisonfoy (Mar 20, 2013)

That is my concern, although it is the cat's situation, rather than mine, I feel sad about. At least I managed to avoid three cats being advertised for free on Gumtree (which was why I got involved in the first place), but I think it's the last time I step in and try to help.


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## Sherylina (Sep 17, 2012)

I'm sorry, there is nothing you can do. I'm not going to have a go and tell you what you should and should not have done as I think you all ready know this but let this be a lesson for any future re-homings you do.

Even with a home check it is still so difficult to tell sometimes so the paperwork still needs to be in place to offer the cat some form of protection.

Do you know where they live? Could you go round and have a serious word? Maybe take the cat back without taking no for an answer?


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## Staysee (Oct 19, 2009)

First of all....keeping a cat inside isnt a crime, it does not harm a cat aslong as they have the stimulation they need.

If its truly a BSH as you say, then they are more then right too keep it in....but if its a DSH then its still fine too be kept in, but pedigrees are more likely to be stolen....unless its a very pretty moggy of course!


You have nothing you can do legally that I can see, as there was no contract and it was a home to home rehoming process, not a rescue too home or breeder too home, think you should now just let the new owner be.


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## Alisonfoy (Mar 20, 2013)

The person who took him went back on her word on so many counts. He loved going outside and it had been agreed that he would have *supervised* access to their garden. It was on that basis I agreed she could have him.

It was also agreed that she would make a modest donation commensurate with the adoption fee she would otherwise have paid at an animal shelter to a cat welfare trust. That didn't happen because she'd 'forgotten her cheque book' when she came to collect him.

From the tone of some of people's responses, I feel there's a sentiment I'm somehow in the wrong, but all I tried to do was find a much loved cat another home, rather than see him advertised for free on Gumtree. If I could have added him to my own household, I would have willingly done so. All the shelters I tried were full. After this woman said she wanted him, I looked after him for a further four weeks because she was going on holiday... I tried my utmost to do my best by him, and _that_ is why I am upset.


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## Staysee (Oct 19, 2009)

No ones having a go, honestly 

Just be glad that he has a safe and happy home with someone who must care for him and that he didnt end up on gumtree.

She hasnt donated? Thats on her conciounce[sp] not yours, she was the one who agreed too and hasnt so that her fault, not yours.

The indoor/outdoor thing, she may yet let him out in the future, but with the cat now being hers she can do what she wishes, so long as the cat is cared for and gets all the stimulation it needs then thats surely the best thing?

Dont feel you've let the cat down either, im sure he is happy enough and you should be too, you insured he and his other feline friends got good homes, which they did and not in the hands of some people out there.

If you cant leave it then post her a letter or email....whatever, put something through her letter box just reminding her of the promises that were made and you feel like she's let you down, nothing nasty cos you wouldnt want her turning on the cat in anyway....then leave the ball in her court. If she wont let him out then it is her call at the end of the day, she wanted the cat so was obviously prepared too agree with you on somethings just too get him....i agree though the donation is a bit off.


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## Alisonfoy (Mar 20, 2013)

Thank you Staysee, you've made me feel a bit better. 

I had known all three of the cats since they were kittens, which is why I feel so very upset and let down. I was able to rehome a gorgeous BSH with my parents (she's extremely happy and has blossomed there) and another via a specialist Siamese rescue trust (where apparently she's found a good home too), so it is just this little one I feel I've failed  

I'd tried really hard to make sure he went to people who loved him, but it now seems the woman who took him is only interested in having a high-value, strikingly pretty puss which other people envy. Her first email to me after he'd gone there told me the other cat was picking on him (small surprise as she simply let the two of them meet the moment she got him home) and then she said her son had lost interest in him. It's been on my mind ever since. He hasn't had the injections he needs, isn't insured, hasn't had his chip altered and doesn't even wear a collar..

However, you're right to point out that it is on this woman's conscience that she has chosen not to go back on her word re the donation. I was beating myself up about it, but felt it would be really mean to withhold the cat when she told me she'd forgotten her chequebook when collecting him with her boy. 

I think writing her a letter is a good idea - and might help me put the experience behind me. Thank heavens I'm not a breeder, the stress of finding kittens suitable homes would be a nightmare.


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