# My cat hates me?



## Minny-Moo (Jul 12, 2010)

Hi all,

You might have seen in my earlier post that we have trouble with Minny scratching. 
Sadly, this isn't the only issue I have with her.

When we first got Minny as a kitten 5 years ago she was adorable. The first night she slept on me all night in bed, and I remember thinking how wonderful it was. As Minny was my first pet and I always wanted to have a cat that would dote on me, and vice versa.

It's hard for me to pinpoint where this went wrong, as now our relationship is the complete opposite.

My husband seems to be her favourite. She jumps up at him and meows like crazy when he comes home from work. When I come home from work, she doesn't even acknowledge that I walk in the flat. 

If my husband is home she is generally in the same room as us, but if I'm home alone and Minny is sleeping or relaxing, you can guarantee that when I go in the room and sit there or do something she walks out. (And we only have 3 rooms as we are in a studio flat). 

If I walk past her sometimes when she is in a mood she swipes me.

Very occasionally she will jump up on my lap, but that will last all of 5 seconds. 1 minute I stroke her and she is purring away, the next she bites me because she has had enough.

It has always got me down abit, as I feel like she doesn't like me, but just recently it is really starting to upset me.

Does anyone have any similar experiences? If so what can I do?

I long to have a good relationship with her, and despite this I do love her dearly and wouldn't be without her. I just wish she was more affectionate towards me.


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

I am sure with a bit of patient this can be resolved.
Do you feed her or does your Husband?
I would start by only you to feed her. I would buy her some treats and each day i would give her a treat.
Also i would try and talk in a soft voice to her and i would play with her, maybe get some cat nip.
Hope this helps you.


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## Minny-Moo (Jul 12, 2010)

jill3 said:


> I am sure with a bit of patient this can be resolved.
> Do you feed her or does your Husband?
> I would start by only you to feed her. I would buy her some treats and each day i would give her a treat.
> Also i would try and talk in a soft voice to her and i would play with her, maybe get some cat nip.
> Hope this helps you.


Thanks for your post Jill.

We both feed her, but I will feed her from now on and see if that makes a difference. I guess I don't really treat her much, so I will start to do that, and build more quality time with just her and I playing a few times a day.

Thanks for the advice!


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## Paddy Paws (Jul 11, 2010)

You could try using Felifriend. It contains feline appeasing pheremone and is designed to put on your hands to help with tolerance to handling by an individual.


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## Minny-Moo (Jul 12, 2010)

Paddy Paws said:


> You could try using Felifriend. It contains feline appeasing pheremone and is designed to put on your hands to help with tolerance to handling by an individual.


Oh that sounds like a great idea! I have never heard of it. Is it made by the same people that do Feliway do you know? I will have a look.

Thanks! :thumbup:


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## jamjar919 (Jul 4, 2010)

try the eBook in my signiture, it really helped me sort out these problems


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## Paddy Paws (Jul 11, 2010)

Minny-Moo said:


> Oh that sounds like a great idea! I have never heard of it. Is it made by the same people that do Feliway do you know? I will have a look.
> 
> Thanks! :thumbup:


Yes it is made by Ceva Animal Health the same people that make Feliway


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## Minny-Moo (Jul 12, 2010)

Paddy Paws said:


> Yes it is made by Ceva Animal Health the same people that make Feliway


Thanks Paddy! Will look into it!


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

There's lots of good advice on here that will help you out & I'm sue things will change. 
Sometimes though you just have to accept that some animals prefer certain people.
One of my cats LOVES my OH despite it being me who feeds her, etc. I had her for a couple of years before he moved in & whilst she does like me it's no where near what she obviously feels for him, she wouldn't leave him alone when he first moved in. I was so jealous!! 
Lucikly though I have my other cat, Basil & my dog on my side so don't feel quite so bitter!!! :thumbup:


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## Wendy1969 (Jun 4, 2010)

Minny-Moo - I have PM'd you with a few ideas. Hope it helps x


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## Tje (Jan 16, 2010)

you might not like to hear this.... but, I think it's worth saying, so at the risk of upsetting you, I will say it anyway. I hope you take it in the sense it is meant.

From your original post on this thread, and on the sctraching the furntiure thread... I sense a certain amount of (not sure of the exact words here, so take these in their widest possible meanings) mild animosity and frustration from you towards your cat. And you possibly also feel a degree of rejection from her.

I'm not saying your feelings are not understandable, to a degree...

But, I am saying... many cats sense these things. And act accordingly.

How many times do we read on here of the cat that is never pleased with any visitors, is quite aloof towards them all, till the one person with cat-allergies or a fear of cats pays us a visit, and old grumpy ginger Gordon is suddenly all over that particular visitor like a rash, something he never does to visitors who coo and awwww over him.

I could go on and give you 20 examples of cats being contrary, like in the example above...

but all I really want to say is... if your feelings of frustration/rejection are seeping out in whatever subtle way, your cat will be sensing them (picking them up) and that is probably exaserbating the situation. One cat sensing these feelings could be all over you like a rash, the next cats sensing these sorts of feelings would just remain aloof.

Don't ever underestimate how perceptive some cats can be.

And I am not blaming... but to break this circle you will have to change how you feel and react towards her. It's pretty pointless for you and your cat to get into a "why did this all start" type of thing... that's like debating "what came first, the chicken or the egg".


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## Minny-Moo (Jul 12, 2010)

Tje said:


> you might not like to hear this.... but, I think it's worth saying, so at the risk of upsetting you, I will say it anyway. I hope you take it in the sense it is meant.
> 
> From your original post on this thread, and on the sctraching the furntiure thread... I sense a certain amount of (not sure of the exact words here, so take these in their widest possible meanings) mild animosity and frustration from you towards your cat. And you possibly also feel a degree of rejection from her.
> 
> ...


Thanks for your post. I agree with everything you said, and you haven't upset me 

Since I posted my first post, whether only being a few days ago, I have noticed a difference between me and Minny.

The last 3 evenings she has sat on my lap for about 20-30 mins! Which is REALLY Rare!!
I have been able to brush her, and talk to her and make a little fuss of her. Then she has jumped down of her own accord - not biting me first. And in return I have given her a treat. As well as playing with her in the day and talking to her more and acknowledging her alot more.
So I guess you are right, it is my attitude towards her which has changed and with this I have noticed changes. :thumbup:

I will have to continue being like this and hopefully we can form a bond at long last.


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

Am so glad that relations have improved! :thumbup:


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## Minny-Moo (Jul 12, 2010)

Cleo38 said:


> Am so glad that relations have improved! :thumbup:


Thanks Cleo - its just a little but its a big step! I will have to keep you all posted on our (hopefully) progress


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## Wendy1969 (Jun 4, 2010)

Excellent news!


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## Minny-Moo (Jul 12, 2010)

Wendy1969 said:


> Excellent news!


I have just this minute called her, and she actually came from the bedroom to the lounge to see me! Maybe things are looking up! :thumbup:

I need to keep plodding on with this, but hopefully she can sense that I am enjoying her company more and that I really do want to bond with her.


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## Cuddlecat (Jul 8, 2010)

One of my cats, sadly no longer with us, loved my hubby to be. When Cuddles came crashing through the cat flap he would miaow until he could see h2b, and if we sat on the sofa together, Cuddles would sit there staring at him until he relented and gave him some attention! So they can get a little jealous sometimes. It sounds as though things are improving though! x


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