# At my wits end with needy dog



## chichi1 (Nov 8, 2014)

I don't know what to do I love this little guy but I can't even go to the bathroom without him crying , scratching the door winning . I can't even sleep , he won't stop crying until he's laying on my head curled up,! I'm seriously confused as to what to do. Ive had him only two weeks , we've given in and let him sleep in the bedroom, not good enough has to be lying on my face or head until he's stopped winning which to be honest I can't sleep with !, I can't even have a bath or shower in peace. I take him to work with me , he stays in the staff room , doesn't do all this then just accepts facts and then goes ion his pillow oh but at home he's got to be physically on me to be happy. I've never had a dog so needy , all my dogs have been happy with lying on the floor with a bone , or sitting next to me on the sofa or sitting next to me on the floor at the sofa having a pet or cuddle , not this guy , it's " I'm gonna cry till I can physically sit on you and lick your face. I got a crate , hoping he'd be ok at night feeling more secure nope, crate in bedroom nope, crate in the living room , no crate , nope , got to be physically on me to seem content. He cries and cries and barks and barks constantly, I can't sleep , I'm worried even just going to the shops , my other dogs would just go in their crate or chill on the sofa and be like fine go the shops then, I just can't win with this dog. I've never had one so needy , it's like he doesn't even enjoy going for walks or exploring the garden because I'm not physically touching or right next to him, I'm getting worried about his mental health.


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## hazel pritchard (Jun 28, 2009)

Hi how old is your dog? do you know of his background? 1 of my rescue dogs was like this for almost a year , but it does get easier , 
What breed is your dog?


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## chichi1 (Nov 8, 2014)

Hi he's a chuiahah, 5 years old, lived with a family for all his life , then they wanted to rehome him they asked for £200 which I quite happily gave, I felt sorry for him. The dad was going to work on an oil rig 4 months on and off. As far as I know mr. Chow slept down stairs not in anyone's bedroom, I've given up with crating , he seems to be ok with he cat so shouldn't be any issues there I hope. I'm just at my wits end with him, he won't eat , I've tried his old food and his new food. He will go a whole day without anything then will finally eat in the morning after , we put him on biscuits as told were better than pedigree tins , he won't eat either now , it's like he's starving himself when he does eat the biscuits it's like half the amount in his dish. I've had his anal glands done he's been wormed so he's ok down there , all he wants to do is sit with me on the sofa . We got him a toy and he was nasty with it , and then when he does run around and "play" he turns demonic , like if u touch him when he's running he snaps ! I'm scared of him then I feel sorry for him ,


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## LaceWing (Mar 18, 2014)

Something is wrong, which is probably why the first family got rid of him. This doesn&#8217;t sound like a training issue. Your vet may or may not be versed in dog mental problems. Call and ask. Don&#8217;t bring him in unless they actually have a plan. It could be thyroid or other health issue. If it is caused by a physical problem they will have to run tests.


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## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

chichi1 said:


> I don't know what to do I love this little guy but I can't even go to the bathroom without him crying , scratching the door winning . I can't even sleep , he won't stop crying until he's laying on my head curled up,! I'm seriously confused as to what to do. Ive had him only two weeks , we've given in and let him sleep in the bedroom, not good enough has to be lying on my face or head until he's stopped winning which to be honest I can't sleep with !, I can't even have a bath or shower in peace. I take him to work with me , he stays in the staff room , doesn't do all this then just accepts facts and then goes ion his pillow oh but at home he's got to be physically on me to be happy. I've never had a dog so needy , all my dogs have been happy with lying on the floor with a bone , or sitting next to me on the sofa or sitting next to me on the floor at the sofa having a pet or cuddle , not this guy , it's " I'm gonna cry till I can physically sit on you and lick your face. I got a crate , hoping he'd be ok at night feeling more secure nope, crate in bedroom nope, crate in the living room , no crate , nope , got to be physically on me to seem content. He cries and cries and barks and barks constantly, I can't sleep , I'm worried even just going to the shops , my other dogs would just go in their crate or chill on the sofa and be like fine go the shops then, I just can't win with this dog. I've never had one so needy , it's like he doesn't even enjoy going for walks or exploring the garden because I'm not physically touching or right next to him, I'm getting worried about his mental health.


If he is a rescue they can come with baggage and quirks sometimes two weeks isn't long it can take weeks and longer still for a dog to become settled and secure.

The fact that he will settle when you are at work in the staff room is encouraging and a bit of a contradiction too, usually if they have separation anxiety or get anxious at being left you would usually expect him to be the same then.

As he seems to want to be glued to you all the rest of the time, might be worth trying some old trick that can help puppies and dogs settle on their own.

Adaptil plug in dog appeasing pheromones can help in a lot of cases, they are half the price on line to pets at home and vets usually. How they can work and with what problems are on the link below.

Adaptil helps dogs and puppys learn settle travel and in kennels

I get mine from here but you may find them cheaper still.
Adaptil Plug-In Diffuser | Help Calm Your Dog | Vet-Medic.com

Other old tricks for puppies to get them to settle in their own space, and when you go out is, leaving an old tshirt or jumper you have worn in their beds so they have your smell as reassurance and comfort. Also with puppies as they sleep touching in the litter for warmth and security putting a large soft toy in their bed or a couple of small ones can help. That probably wont cost nothing or very little and maybe worth a go.

Maybe try to wean him off and have the bed/his pillow or blanket on the end of the bed with the above things to see if he will settle. Maybe you can then even have the crate door open by the side of the bed with the things in it after, progressing to shutting it later. At least if you can get a good nights sleep its a start and you can maybe work on further training to make him more self sufficient after from there.

It maybe something he has been used too, especially if he is a rescue. Sometimes chis unfortuanately can be treated like toys or babies and not like dogs, not saying he has but it may be possible. It may be something he is used too, and is continuing to do so just because he can still. Unfortunately the more he gets rewarded the more he will do it. Maybe try the things, and then you can work on the problem more from there if it works once you can get him unglued from you.


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## dorrit (Sep 13, 2011)

Remy is my velcro dog.. My son found him in a field I had two dogs so at first Remy went to stay with my sons friends...He howled everytime the lady left the room..
So he went to my son's house and the story sounds much like the OP's...

My son arrived with dog and said mum help...that was 8 years ago..

Yes he was very clingy in the beginning.. I filmed what he did when I went out looked for places he liked to hide and put one of my old tshirts there so that he didnt feel so abandoned and with time he got more and more sure of his place and relaxed..

It would be worthwhile making sure there are no health issues with your new dog but really it will take time and two weeks is nothing,, Remy is right beside my chair in his 'office bed' and when I leave the room he will be two paces behind me...


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## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

chichi1 said:


> Hi he's a chuiahah, 5 years old, lived with a family for all his life , then they wanted to rehome him they asked for £200 which I quite happily gave, I felt sorry for him. The dad was going to work on an oil rig 4 months on and off. As far as I know mr. Chow slept down stairs not in anyone's bedroom, I've given up with crating , he seems to be ok with he cat so shouldn't be any issues there I hope. I'm just at my wits end with him, he won't eat , I've tried his old food and his new food. He will go a whole day without anything then will finally eat in the morning after , we put him on biscuits as told were better than pedigree tins , he won't eat either now , it's like he's starving himself when he does eat the biscuits it's like half the amount in his dish. I've had his anal glands done he's been wormed so he's ok down there , all he wants to do is sit with me on the sofa . We got him a toy and he was nasty with it , and then when he does run around and "play" he turns demonic , like if u touch him when he's running he snaps ! I'm scared of him then I feel sorry for him ,


Now Ive read this, I would be a bit more concerned that there may be a medical issue aswell, although it might not be all the issue, it could be a part.
Admitted it has been known for dogs to not eat when they have been rehomed or put in rehoming centres through kennel stress, so that could be a factor. It could though be signs that he is unwell. They fact that when he is running and is touched he snaps could be a bit of a concern too. Dogs in discomfort or pain can sometimes be clingey, they can also become snappy and more reactive too. There are a few structural and conformation issues in chihuahaus that can cause pain discomfort and odd behaviour, one of them is a neck issue.
Not saying it is medical or there is anything wrong because you cant especially over a forum all you can do at most is make suggestions a lot of the time.


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## chichi1 (Nov 8, 2014)

I should probably have put that he eats treats and anything I drop by accident ( even crumbs ) very well like a Hoover . He's odd . Like I've been building a flat pack for and hour now , and he's curled up on the sofa , he tried to come in and sit on me ( in the middle of everything) and I told him out! He sulked out sat on the sofa , and that was that he's just curled up on the sofa now, come bed time if I shut that living room door it's yap yap yap cry cry cry . We did give in with the letting him sleep in the bedroom , we took his bed in , took the pen in nope wasn't good enough coz he was behind a barrier I guess . So my partner had a good idea we put his lead on and tied it to my dressing table. So his bed was right near me but he couldn't jump on but can still get to his bed and water etc. Now that worked even though he was still restricted , I don't understand why he's happy with that and not a crate! but am I really going to have to have a lead tied up in my room forever ? Im just accepting that he doesn't like crates . think him being alone and in a crate which he's never been in is two bad things in one hit ? Or am I wrong? He seems to like the sofa . I don't think he would harm the cat they don't pay any interest in eachother at all. The original reason I got a pen was becuase I shut him behind a door when I went out for an hour and I came back and he had scrathed so much at the floor that he made his paws bleed . In work if he sees me he crys a little bit but I'm out of the staff room for like 4 hours and everyone says he just curls up on his pillow and ignores them unless they are eating. I just really don't know what to do. It's more the bed time issue that's getting to me. My partner doesn't have much patience and I'm getting it in the ear constantly. My inlaws have. 1 year old chi and he's so much better behaved. He doesn't do all this crying and squeaking , not once and hey had him from 6 months . It's like my 5 year old is a 5 week old puppy ,even if I'm on the sofa eating he's looking at me trying to desperately get on the sofa , crying barking even after thirty minutes of me blocking him he just doesn't give up . He doesn't just go and do dog things .it's not even like he's a dog he has the personality of 6 month needy baby .


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

I'm not surprised he is behaving in this way.

He was with his previous owner for 5 years and has suddenly ended up in a new home full of strangers and new regimes.

You can't just put a dog in a crate and expect it to be happy, he needs to be slowly introduced to it so that he wants to go in and sees it as a den, rather than a prison.

Same with being left alone. He probably thinks he is going to be abandoned.

Five weeks really is not very long for a dog to settle into a new home/life.

There is a sticky on Crate Training and also on Separation Anxiety. I think he needs to be taught how to be happy in a crate and alone occasionally, but this will take time.

Perseverance, kindness and patience are the watch words here.


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## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

chichi1 said:


> I should probably have put that he eats treats and anything I drop by accident ( even crumbs ) very well like a Hoover . He's odd . Like I've been building a flat pack for and hour now , and he's curled up on the sofa , he tried to come in and sit on me ( in the middle of everything) and I told him out! He sulked out sat on the sofa , and that was that he's just curled up on the sofa now, come bed time if I shut that living room door it's yap yap yap cry cry cry . We did give in with the letting him sleep in the bedroom , we took his bed in , took the pen in nope wasn't good enough coz he was behind a barrier I guess . So my partner had a good idea we put his lead on and tied it to my dressing table. So his bed was right near me but he couldn't jump on but can still get to his bed and water etc. Now that worked even though he was still restricted , I don't understand why he's happy with that and not a crate! but am I really going to have to have a lead tied up in my room forever ? Im just accepting that he doesn't like crates . think him being alone and in a crate which he's never been in is two bad things in one hit ? Or am I wrong? He seems to like the sofa . I don't think he would harm the cat they don't pay any interest in eachother at all. The original reason I got a pen was becuase I shut him behind a door when I went out for an hour and I came back and he had scrathed so much at the floor that he made his paws bleed . In work if he sees me he crys a little bit but I'm out of the staff room for like 4 hours and everyone says he just curls up on his pillow and ignores them unless they are eating. I just really don't know what to do. It's more the bed time issue that's getting to me. My partner doesn't have much patience and I'm getting it in the ear constantly. My inlaws have. 1 year old chi and he's so much better behaved. He doesn't do all this crying and squeaking , not once and hey had him from 6 months . It's like my 5 year old is a 5 week old puppy ,even if I'm on the sofa eating he's looking at me trying to desperately get on the sofa , crying barking even after thirty minutes of me blocking him he just doesn't give up . He doesn't just go and do dog things .it's not even like he's a dog he has the personality of 6 month needy baby .


If he has never seen or been in a crate then a lot of them will stress and get anxious when they are shut. You do need to introduce and train them to accept it and relax in there first.

May be he has been indulged and allowed to do as he liked, I have seen chis treated like babies or toys and allowed to do as they like and be a right pain. Ive also seen ones that have been trained and given boundaries and they are fantastic dogs.

Maybe the tact would be tough love then. Making him work for what he wants and anything you give him, start doing some basic commands. It worked when you told him out when you were trying to work and he sat on you, maybe teaching him some more things, like off the bed and sofa, and only being allowed up when invited would help. Your not sleeping anyway, you could try putting him back in his bed repeatedly pairing it with the command bed.


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## chichi1 (Nov 8, 2014)

I have been doing this I've taught him paw and lie down . But he just keeps going in and on to come for cuddles on the sofa , do I just keep saying off then sit then allow him ? Is that tough love ? At night time should I just continue with our trick with his bed then for now ? I just don't know what to do anymore :/ I know I need to train him to accept the crate and being alone so I can't just shut him in the living room then at night can I because that's not introducing it slowly ? :/ argh I'm so confused .


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## chichi1 (Nov 8, 2014)

What should I do at night time then because if he's not used to being in a pen or crate hen putting him in it at bed is kind of throwing him in it with out getting used to to so do u think I should just continue with my trick of him being in the bedroom but attached to his lead so he can't jump on my bed at will but can walk around to his bed and water dish ? As he doesn't winge with that but he does in the room being in the crate ? Thanks for your advice


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## LaceWing (Mar 18, 2014)

If tethering him to the bed is working for you, great. It is possible that the previous owner carried him around with her/him all day, possibly using him as a pacifier. Continue to be a big meanie and I think he will adapt.


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## mom3dog (Oct 25, 2014)

Hello. I was very interested in your post, and the replies. I too have a overly clingy dog; she is a foster (have had here 9 months now). Here reaction to stress is severe scratching and chewing on herself. It breaks my heart to see her do this, and it is stressing me out so bad. She was so bad when the rescue brought her in, she had open bloody spots, and nearly bald. Vet instantly said she was very allergic to everything and put on meds. I also tried every cream out there. Now having observed her so long, I see it is not allergies, it is anxiety, and maybe habit. I believe she was treated very bad because she "yips" like she is scared when you pick her up. Also, she screams this awful noise when I return home( even after only 20 minutes). I am home most of the time, and very loving to her. I have never had a foster that didn't blossom after a few months.


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## LaceWing (Mar 18, 2014)

Mom3dog, has she had a chiropractic adjustment? I sometimes take my fosters to the chiropractic vet (try to fit it in with shots or something). If she is out of cinque she will be less flexible and may even be in pain. You can also put a couple sprigs of lavender on her bed. Lavender lessens anxiety. I&#8217;ve also found a brisk walk in the morning helps. I typically do 25 minutes with the Bostons. On a long line.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

An alternative to a crate could be a play pen. The dog is confined to an area, but is not shut in. I would prefer that to keeping a lead on and being tied to something TBH.


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## bogdog (Jan 1, 2014)

Is his problem boredom? You don't mention any exercise - physical or mental. Do you take him out for walks? Do you know what he likes to do - such as chase a toy or fetch things? Do you do any training? Simple things like a reliable sit....

Can you ask your vet to get his medical records from his previous vets?


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## silvi (Jul 31, 2014)

Hi chichi1,

You have received some good advice already, but one thing I will add is that Chihuahuas seem to love body heat. Even if they are sitting or laying next to you, (rather than on you ), you will find them snuggling up tightly beside you. It could be they are cold or need comfort, or simply like to be close to something.

I think you said that he will sometimes sit on the sofa on his own. Does he curl up tightly into the corner, or with his back pressed against the back of the sofa?

That's what Sophie does. And if that is not possible, she will get her blanket and curl it up around her. It's like a security thing.

In fact, the best thing I found with Sophie was giving her her own soft blanket to snuggle up in. It sometimes goes from room to room with her, especially in the colder weather.

But like everyone else has said, give it time. Poor little lad is probably very confused and uncertain right now.

He might have a medical problem, but, unless you think it could be serious, I would be inclined to see if he will eventually settle first, as taking him along to be poked and prodded at the vets when he's feeling so insecure won't boost his confidence.
Others may disagree with me on that though....

Good luck and I hope he feels much more secure soon.


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## Ang2 (Jun 15, 2012)

TBH, I found this a very upsetting read! Poor little guy, and it sounds as though you find him to be a nuisance. I have ten animals, both cats and dogs, all rescues, with their own little idiosyncrasies and insecurities. There is never a moment when one of them isn't on my knee (sometimes three or four of them at once).

When you make the decision to take on a rescue, you do so with the knowledge that they have likely not had the best of lives, and often come with baggage. Animals are sensitive little creatures with feelings. In my experience, I have found that constant reassurance pays off. I would never shoo any of mine away.


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## bogdog (Jan 1, 2014)

The way I read the OP's posts is - cry for help! Lacking in knowledge perhaps - that is why she has posted. I don't believe that the OP sees her dog as a nuisance. But perhaps feels that the dog's behaviour is not what it could/should be for a happy life for dog and owner.

Hopefully we can help change that.


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Can I suggest a Thunder Shirt ? I recently rehomed a 4 yr old Mini Dachshund , the sweetest little girl but oh , so needy ! She was only happy when cuddled right up next to me , and desperate to lick me ( i now know that's an anxiety response )Luckily she was crate trained and sleeps very happily in a soft crate in the bedroom with lots of bedding.
The Thunder Shirt does seem to make her calmer and more independent - she'll stay where she is when I go to another room now and can be left wiyth my other dog happily for a couple of hours.
Patience and perseverance is definitely the key , Adaptil as already suggested , helps, And Zylkene , a natural calming remedy ( apparently contains similar substances to their mother's milk. Believe me I've tried them all ! My first dog was rescued and very anxious , it took about 6 months for her to feel really at home.
Good luck , it will get better !


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## Jobeth (May 23, 2010)

My Yorkshire terrier often curls up by by head or even on me when I'm on my side at night. I can't say it bothers me though. She is also allowed on the sofa whenever she likes. Going against the grain, I personally think that the more you try and stop him being near you the more he is going to try. My Yorkie can be left at home with no problems. If I tried to keep her her away from me whilst I was home she would end up distressed as that is what she is used to. I'd work on it through leaving him with a kong/treats in a room and leaving him for a very short time until he feels more confident. When I first left her I used a snuggle puppy (warm with a 'heart beat') and you can use something similar with a ticking clock etc.


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## Dogdaddanggleberry (Feb 1, 2020)

You've trained your dog to bark and be needy by going to it when it barks and letting it sleep on you when it demands it.

You should start breaking this habit. Put dog in another room with a seperation but so the dog can still see you. When it barks ignore, do not even look. When dog is silent go say hello and reward, you can train the 'quiet' command from this too which will help in future steps. Repeat. Repeat with dogs bed near dog, when dog goes to bed reward heavily but calmly. Repeat. Progress to dog in seperate room. Repeat lots. If the dog isn't getting it, go back a step to a simpler iteration and repeat.

You have trained the dog to bark. You have trained the dog to have the best food that you drop and you have trained the dog to whine so she can sleep in your bed. You now need to train a different set of behaviours.


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## JoanneF (Feb 1, 2016)

I imagine the situation has resolved over the 5 years since it was last updated ...


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## Torin. (May 18, 2014)

@Dogdaddanggleberry this thread is over 5yrs old - I think they're past needing advice


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## JoanneF (Feb 1, 2016)

Crossposted @Torin. Reported.


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## Torin. (May 18, 2014)

JoanneF said:


> Crossposted @Torin. Reported.


I did too haha


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