# Missing Lulu



## Lulus mum (Feb 14, 2011)

Our lovely collie cross ,Lulu,died suddenly on Jan 28th
.She was 14 and we had had her since she was a puppy-when she came to us she looked like a little teddy bear.
She came from the rescue I volunteered at ,along with Buster,who we called her brother even though they werent related at all.
We were Busters third home,he had obviously not been treated well in the others and was very nervous.,but so loving.
He relied on Lulu so much and would howl and cry if she ever went out without him.
Just after bringing home Buster and Lulu 
,along came Dougal and Rigsby ,12 week old kittens.After a manic few weeks the 4 of them bonded into a little family and would sit at the window together ,looking out at the world.



Lulu died lying on the couch next to me with her head on my knee.
We couldnt believe shed gone and still cant
We wrapped her in her blanket and she slept that last night in her bed in our room as she always did. The next morning after tossing and turning all night I looked at her bed and for a minute forgot what had happened.
I moved the blanket and she felt warm.I was glad as I didnt want her to feel cold
The next day we carried her downstairs and I sat with her and told her how much we loved her and that we were sorry for any times we had let her down.
We buried her in the garden near the kitchen window,where the sun shine most.
My husband made a little cross for her and I hung some blue angel lights on it .Ive just been outside to switch them on as I do every night and now I cant see this keyboard for tears.
I hear her little bark and her footsteps coming up the stairs.The other night I had a dream,it was so real ..I was stroking her and when I opened my eyes I could still feel her fur,I felt so happy then I realised it was a dream.
She only ever had 1 toy that she loved-a red boxing glove which ,after she had been spayed she would carry round in her mouth-we called it "the baby" for obvious reasons.
I wanted to put it with her but I couldnt find it-(she used to hide it all over the place,especially under my pillow on the bed.)and I felt Id let her down.
Then I found it the other day and its here with me by the keyboard.
Buster sadly has dementia.
He doesnt realise she has gone,which in a way is a good thing as he couldnt have coped with that,but its so sad as we used to say Wheres your Lulu,if ever shed gone out without him and he would go to the window with a toy in his mouth and wait for her and leap about when she came back in.
So thats all about my Lulu
We miss you so much and hope that one day we will be able to hug you again,
love you loads,from your mum and dad,Buster and your brothers Rigsby,Dougal and little Ollie(our cats)


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## Guest (Feb 17, 2011)

I couldn't help crying then *massive hugs*

Em
xx


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## Angie2011 (Feb 2, 2011)

So sorry Hun! your poor Lulu, she must have been really loved by your family for you to share such a touching story of your beloved baby! maybe she did come back that night just to tell you that she is alright, and to thank you for all you had done for her. once again Hun! so sorry  Angie xx


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## IlovemyBichon (Dec 7, 2010)

I'm so sorry about your Lulu. You gave her a happy life though, and I'm sure she loved you lots.


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## jenniferx (Jan 23, 2009)

How awful.  It brings back so many memories of losing my two- both died at home whilst I was with them. I don't know if you feel the same because every experience is different but there is something about a natural death that is so raw and primal. I have found it very difficult. 

When Boo died I had such a strong sense of his presence still around me. To the extent that I could literally touch out my hand and he'd be there, he wasn't of course but it felt that way. I also had some profound dreams, one in particular when he was there with his mother who had died years previously. I never really dream of the dogs so it was very memorable. I also had dreams of them when I was very ill at the end of last year. Never the dogs that are living- always the ones that have passed on. I find it comforting. 

It's sad for Buster but maybe his mental condition is a blessing in disguise. I'll never forget the pain that coursed through me when we got Boo's ashes home, they came in this lovely decorative bag, his brother who he had been inseparable from since birth sat beside the bag and started gently pawing at it. I doubt he knew the contents but the significance of it just broke my heart. Especially as the turnaround from death to ashes at home was just 48hours


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## Lulus mum (Feb 14, 2011)

Thanks Jennifer,Were not having a good day ,today.as I was up at 1.30.am with Buster who wouldnt settle.Id only gone to bed at 1a.m-I was replying to a post on here from a girl who wanted advice-as her 2 young kittens wouldnt go out!!!!!!!They are very young and scared,but the girls mother wants them out of the house during the night-felt very angry as my 3 cats were all tucked up in different parts of the house

Anyway Buster has been really bad today,hes on Activait from the vet-for the past 10 days, and I was hoping to see some improvement however slight 
I really thought he would go before Lulu and cant face the possibility that will lose him soon-especially if we had to have him P.T.S-only had 1 experience with that and it was terrible due to the vets attitude,
Despite all this pain,I dont regret having Buster and Lulu for a second-they ,and my other 2 previous dogs have brought us such joy
Take care,speak to you soon perhaps
from Maureen


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

very sorry for your loss..hope Buster is feeling better and will stay around for long time yet...


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## homerdogy (Feb 19, 2011)

I am sorry to hear about your loss! 
It sure is hard! Pets are family its takes along time to get over them.
You have to hang on to all special memories you had with Lulu!
I lost my hubby due to Cancer a year and at least I have his dog ! 
He helps me get through things.


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## Lulus mum (Feb 14, 2011)

Feel so sad-its 6weeks since our collie cross Lulu died.She was 14 and we had had her since she was 3 mths old,along with our other dog ,Buster.I cant believe that she isnt here with us.

Tonight our other dog Buster was barking and I came downstairs and gave him a hug and looked for where Lulu was to give her one.
Suddenly I FELT SO BAD,as I knew she wasnt there,even though every a.m .and pm. and in between I go and talk to her in the garden,by the back door where she is buried and I put the lights on,in the shape of angels ,so she isnt in the dark.

We have 3 cats,2 are aged 14,1 of these we had to take to the vet yesterday 
Our other dog,Buster aged 14 has dementia .which can be very distressing to deal with and I dont know what the future holds

Tonight when I felt so upset and cried and cried-(my O.H was out-I stopped before I knew he would be back )-all I wanted was a cuddle when I told him I was upset,but he couldnt offer that 
(He told me the other week that I should stop going on forums like this one as they only made me sad-even though Ive told him so many times that they help me so much-and I feel I can sometimes help other people who are a similar situation)

At the moment Im dreading going downstairs-as he wont even notice that Ive been crying-and he wont say anything to make me-and him-feel better-hes like that with everything in life and its very hard to live with 24/7

If anyone feels like they share any of this and wants to P.M me I would love to hear from you-at the moment I feel so alone

Sorry this sounds like a really sad and depressing post -Im trying so hard at the moment to be positive,but its really a struggle 

Love to all who have supported me and hugs to anyone who is going through a bad time
From Maureen


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## jenniferx (Jan 23, 2009)

So sorry Maureen. I don't know what to say really, the only time I have seen my OH cry was when I lost my girl so I cannot relate in that way but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. 
You know I have no recollection of the immediate time following the loss of my dogs. It was such hell that my mind has blocked it out- that's probably not very healthy but it's how I have deal with it. Every now and again I get a flashback from the deaths themselves and it knocks me for six. You're still in such early days, you're bound to be feeling so raw. 

Even if you're other half doesn't understand just know that there are others that do. 
Hugs.


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