# My baby kitten died. :c I'm heartbroken.



## wanderingwildone (Sep 2, 2012)

My baby kitten died. :c I'm heartbroken.?
So a stray cat had kittens in my parents' garage. They stayed there for a month or two, all very feral, including the mom. I tamed the mom, the only kitten that seemed okay with me was this beautiful little one that looked like a brown-striped white tiger. Beautiful. He'd bat at my hand, cuddle into his mom making this precious little, 'brrrrt, mew' sound and was just an angel. I'd decided never to get cats again 'cause I know in 14 years they die. But he just won me over so completely. Well, my family got evicted and Sam and I took the kittens in. The mom is with my uncle, she started attacking them. They were all so perfect, but stripey had my heart. I named him Kyren, a name I'd planned to name my child if I ever had one. He and his siblings cuddled all day for the first few days, I noticed he was sleepier but I was so busy helping my family move and then me and my husband moved too with the kittens. All of the kittens were still too shy to be pet. Well a couple days ago I opened the closet to peek at them, little Kyren came out and rubbed against me with his little tail curled at the tip, making that sweet sound again. He seemed fine. Fast forward a day and he was glossy-eyed, listless. I pet him but he didn't seem to want to be touched, that was normal, none of them ever did. But I just felt something in my gut, I was worried. I picked him up and held him to me, and he just started purring like a little motorboat. Snuggled into me, so relaxed and content. I decided to wait 'till morning and then I'd take him the vet. I slept with him on my chest, swaddled up like a little baby, all night. Next day he seemed... restless. Hobbled around the room. Whined a little. But whenever I touched him he just purred and purred. We took him to the vet right away, he had worms and the vet gave him Revolution to make him better. I promised him if he was good the shot would make him feel better... it didn't. He became weaker. My husband said he was just resting, I didn't know what to think. I watched him closely, wiped him clean with a damp rag and baby shampoo. Fed him water with a syringe. But he was shaky, dizzy, weakening. We're broke, we'd spend 100 on him already. I had to believe he was fine, and everyone kept reassuring me he was. At some point I set him down to contact a vet, when he crawled to the corner and put his nose in it, his breath coming in quick little gasps. That horrible feeling in my gut again. I picked up my baby, he starting purring (of course) and took him onto the bed with me, planning to sleep with him on my chest so I could monitor him until morning. Then he... started doing these weird, spasming gasps, and I realized he was dying. I told my husband, he said he was just sighing. But I knew. Still purring between gasps, sweet Kyren stopped breathing. He trembled, breathless, his heartbeat gone, still snuggled into me, for a split second he was balanced between life and death, and I was saying 'he's dying, he's dying, Sam, he's dying' and then he was gone. Went limp. My sweet little perfect, adorable, energetic, playful and cuddly baby kitty died purring. I haven't stopped crying since, and it's been 3 days. I miss him so much, his little warm body on me, I remember washing his teeny paws clean, no idea he was dying right then, purring like his mommy was cleaning him. He was the sweetest cat I've ever met, an absolute angel, he died purring in my arms. I am so broken up. This is why I didn't want a kitty, but I never imagined he was dying. I am devastated, heartbroken, depressed and miss him so poignantly. I can't even go into the room he died in (our bedroom) and have been sleeping huddled in a corner in the living room. There's a gaping hole where he used to be. It's so empty without his little wandering form. Sam buried him, I covered his grave in stones and bought flowers and sprinkled petals on it but... why? If only I'd known he was dying, I thought he was getting sleepy.... i could've saved him. my little babyyyy :c someone help me, i feel so agonizingly sad and empty and lonely. i can't stop cryingggg this is easily the saddest i have ever been


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## catcoonz (Aug 4, 2012)

i am so very sorry to read your very sad loss of your kitten. it is heartbreaking but i dont htink there was anything you could have done. sadly nature is cruel. ive had this at a very young age and although i spent a fortune on vets he still passed away. anything could have been the problem from fleas, dehydration, any unknown genetic faults.
all you can do is remember the precious time you spent with your kitten and remember your kitten loved you, being a feral if you hadnt given your kitten love then nobody would have. it does get easier in time but for the next few weeks you will keep wondering if it was your fault as you tried your best. sadly against all odds it wasnt meant to be, ive tried many times and failed and being a breeder i know i do everything i can but always seem to blame myself.
rip little baby. xx


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## auspiciousmind (Sep 2, 2012)

That was really hard to read.. I'm sorry for your loss it was obviously devastating for you.. The kitten seemed to have formed a bond with you though and he didn't die alone he died in your arms something that wouldn't of happened if you hadn't of saved him.

Big hugs xxx


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## lizward (Feb 29, 2008)

I am sorry. Kittens can go from apparently perfect health to death within hours at this age. Just yesterday morning one of my little ones - tiny, but otherwise seemingly very well, was running around and eating well. Yesterday evening I came in and found him dead. I have no idea what happened. I can only tell you that it DOES happen at this age and it can happen until they are at least three months old. There may very well have been nothing you could have done that would have saved him.

Liz


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

Very heartbreaking just reading this.
So I can well understand how you are feeling. 
You did everything you could to save this little one. Sometimes nature can be cruel. You were there for him and he didn't die alone in the wild but in your arms with love and peace.
You are a very caring Lady and maybe that's why you were picked to take care of this little one.

Please don't let this put you off having another kitty in the future. You have a lot of love and care to give. A rescue kitty would love to share that with you in the future when you are ready xx

R.I.P Baby Kitten and may you run free at Rainbow Bridge xx


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

You obviously formed a strong, close bond with little Kyren. You loved him when no one else did - and he obviously drew huge comfort from you, which he showed with his purring - even when he got so weak. You took him to the vet, even when you could ill afford to do so -and you were there for him, right to the very end.

So that little kitten knew love right to the end - you could not have done more.

This is something that can happen, but I am so sorry it happened to you - but lucky, lucky Kyren, who didn't die alone somewhere, unloved and forgotten. 

So perhaps this was just meant to be. Perhaps, in time, this will start you on a new road. Life is strange like that, and we never know what is around the corner.

Now, you have to look after yourself. It's normal to feel sad and to grieve. but go forward, in Kyren's memory. Don't rush out and get another kitten, but perhaps think what else you could do in his memory - draw a picture - write a poem - print and frame a photo - put some coins in a collection tin - donate a few tins of cat food to a local cat shelter - or perhaps even volunteer at a local cat shelter? 

By sharing here what happened, you will keep Kyren's memory alive, so you have already begun on that road - I doubt anyone who has read what happened will forget it in a hurry. 

Sleep easy in your bed tonight, in the knowledge that you did all you could, and more, in the circumstances that you found yourself. Kyren cam to you for a reason. The reason just isn't clear right now, but it will become so.


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## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Oh hun.  What a tragic story.

I hardly ever visit this part of the forum because my heart would break for all the pets running at the Bridge, and for all their heartbroken hoomans, but I couldn't just ignore your post.

I remember feeling the way you do now, when our budgie, Tony died. I was devastated. I was 17 at the time, and he'd a chest infection 6 months before he died. He was cured, but 6 months later he fell ill again. I insisted that he was sick and should have gone with my instinct and taken him to the vet, but my family insisted (like yours did) that Tony was fine. I knew in my heart of hearts he wasn't, and when he just stood there, with my hand sheltering him as though from a draught, I knew he needed help. My mum took him to the vets two days too late - by that time, they only gave him an hour to live and I broke my heart, right there, in the street.

Guilt is part of the grieving process and I blamed myself for Tony's death just as you're blaming yourself for Kyren's - "If only I/We . . . " never gets said so much as it does when we're grieving. Please, _please _find comfort from the fact that you were with him to the bitter end - I wasn't given the chance with Tony . You took him in when he needed a home and you did your best for him when he got sick. Death is always tragic for those left behind, but always more so when it's a youngster that passes. Kyren knew he was loved so very much by you. He died content in the arms of someone who loved him. That's as much as us can hope for when our time comes.

Run free at the Bridge sweet Kyren. Condolences and hugs for your hooman mummy left behind.
((((((((hugs)))))))))


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## monkeymummy32 (May 22, 2012)

I'm so very sorry for your loss, that was so moving to read. 
Guilt is a stage of grieving, and is perfectly normal. You did what you thought was best and took him to the vets - that's more than what some people would do. No matter what we do to try and save our beloved pets, it's in our nature to find something to be guilty about, "could I have done more" etc etc. This will pass in time, the tears will very gradually become less frequent and less intense and eventually you'll be able to look back and smile at the good times you shared with him. Be strong xx


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## girlyhouse (Apr 16, 2010)

Im so so sorry , i really am.The little one was going to need you , thats why he "shone " out to you. poor sweetheart and poor you , hugs xxx


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## Sampuppy (Oct 22, 2008)

So sorry to hear about your beautiful kitten - he was in the best place until the end - with someone who loved him as much as he loved them. Run free Kyren.


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## rose (Apr 29, 2009)

Very sad story, strange the OP typed a whole story about the loss of a kitten but never came back to check any posts. I would have thought reading the posts would have brought comfort.:confused1:


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