# My dog is suddenly scared of my husband



## Talisafletcher (May 31, 2013)

Hi all, 

Looking for a little advice. 
We've had our dog Jenny for about 3 months, we rescued her from a breeder that didn't treat her very well. She was REALLY timid when we got her and has slowly become less timid as time has passed. She is trained off the lead really well, and really well behaved. 
She doesn't respond to instruction, but she's quite lazy so has already lay down by the time you ask her anyway. She comes to you when you call her name outside but won't in the house. 

About three weeks ago, my husband walked her at dusk, she hid herself under a bench in the park randomly and when my husband went to get her, tripped and stamped loudly. She spooked and ran away, she managed to find her way home (thankfully) but since then she has been terrified of him. 

He has tried bringing her out and ends up pulling her as she won't walk along side him and she hides under the kitchen table as soon as he comes home. 

She has become quite playful with me and pretty much ignores our son, it's just him that Jenny has a problem with.

This is really starting to concern us as we love her dearly but don't want her to fright every day. That doesn't seem a very fair way for her to live. 

Any help would be truly appreciated


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## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

Talisafletcher said:


> Hi all,
> 
> Looking for a little advice.
> We've had our dog Jenny for about 3 months, we rescued her from a breeder that didn't treat her very well. She was REALLY timid when we got her and has slowly become less timid as time has passed. She is trained off the lead really well, and really well behaved.
> ...


If she has had a bad past and was not likely treated very well, and is very timid in general although improving, the incident sounds like its caused a set back as far as OH is concerned.
Often rescue dogs or dogs with pasts can sometimes for some reason seem more wary of men. Wether it be that they have bad associations with men in their past who may have made them afraid or ill treated them, or its the fact that men seem to be quicker and more purposeful in their movements and have deeper louder voices sometimes but its not an altogether uncommon thing with rescue or previously ill treated dogs for one reason or another.

How was she with your OH before the incident did she seem more wary of him and less relaxed then maybe with you or your son even then.

It Could possibly be as she hid under the bench something had already spooked he even something your OH wasnt aware of, and then your husband tripping and falling took her right over the edge and she really couldnt cope.

The trouble with dogs especially ones that are nervous in general is sometimes when they experience something bad they can then set up an association with the circumstances it happened in. The association could be with dusk, it could be with the park and what initially spooked her or your husband or a mix. Dogs do learn by association and that goes equally with good things as well as bad. Obviously though the main association seems to be with your husband.

He needs to stop trying to take her out and deffinately stop pulling her to try to make her walk. The fact too she hides when he comes home, doing this will only exacerbate her fears and make her worse and even more afraid of him.

Best thing in this situation is to usually take all the heat and pressure off the dog. He will need to totally ignore her, no interacting, no talking to her, deffinately no eye contact and even look at her. With the pressure taken off and not being forced into something she is afraid of, in time you should see her start to become curious again and venture out. If she hides under the table he ignores her and doesnt acknowledge shes even there. What he can do when he walks past the table though is drop high value treats as he passes nothing else, cheese, chicken, hotdogs, sausages. You may find that she wont take them initially as a fearful dog often wont, but in time once you see she does even if its when he has gone into another room its a sign shes getting curious and even though it doesnt seem much it is the beginnings of making a good association with him again.

It may be an idea too when he is in and maybe sitting watching TV to give her a den in the living room at the end furthest away from him, that way she has a bolt hole still but its in the same room at least, and she can sit and feel safe and weigh everything up. He still needs to ignore her. If she does start to become curious and venture out, you can ask him to gently and slowly throw high value treats in her direction so they land near her but apart from this still dont initate any contact. If she takes them and starts to be braver about him, over time, ask him to still throw them and ignore her, but not throw them quite as far away from him and still near her and see if she will take them. Often then over time not hurrying it and only at her pace, he can decrease the distance slightly a bit at a time, but still must not initiate any contact other then this. Little by little if it works like it usually does she should start getting closer and closer, unti lshe will take one dropped by the chair, then ask him to speak to her in a soft voice, an gradually try to build up to see if she will take a treat offered. Then he can maybe see if she will accept a gentle stroke in her own time, then he can look at her and finally make eye contact.

What may build her confidence as far as you are concerned, is doing some training with her and use lots of praise and treats when she does things. See if you can get her to play more too interacting with her with a favourite toy or ball, that again should help build her confidence. Is it possible that you can walk her instead or if you do already only you walk her at the moment.
It might be safer to keep her on lead for awhile too, in case she gets spooked and runs again at least for the time being.

Hope this might help, its a pretty standard way of going about the problem you have at the moment and usually with time and patience and working at the dogs speed often does work.

If you cant see it working or are not confident enough, then the other option would be to get in a one to one behaviourist and let her/him, might be better a her in your dogs case, assess her and the situation then they can give you a tailor made behaviour modification programme, it will also be on the spot support and they will monitor her progress and work with you. CAPBT - COAPE Association of Pet Behaviourists and Trainers should find one in your area, have a chat to a few if more then one and try to find one who has experience with these sorts of situations.


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## Talisafletcher (May 31, 2013)

She she was fine with him before the incident. He always doted on her more than I do. 
Also, she won't run away if he sits on the sofa she's lay on. She won't fall asleep like she would normally though. 
It's not like she's petrified of him, just like she can't relax when he is about. 

Thanks for your help


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## Talisafletcher (May 31, 2013)

Sled dog hotel said:


> If she has had a bad past and was not likely treated very well, and is very timid in general although improving, the incident sounds like its caused a set back as far as OH is concerned.
> Often rescue dogs or dogs with pasts can sometimes for some reason seem more wary of men. Wether it be that they have bad associations with men in their past who may have made them afraid or ill treated them, or its the fact that men seem to be quicker and more purposeful in their movements and have deeper louder voices sometimes but its not an altogether uncommon thing with rescue or previously ill treated dogs for one reason or another.
> 
> How was she with your OH before the incident did she seem more wary of him and less relaxed then maybe with you or your son even then.
> ...


She she was fine with him before the incident. He always doted on her more than I do. 
Also, she won't run away if he sits on the sofa she's lay on. She won't fall asleep like she would normally though. 
It's not like she's petrified of him, just like she can't relax when he is about.

How long would you say this process is likely to take? Not to rush it, just so I can try and gage progress

Thanks for your help


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## ClaireandDaisy (Jul 4, 2010)

Talisafletcher said:


> She she was fine with him before the incident. He always doted on her more than I do.
> Also, she won't run away if he sits on the sofa she's lay on. She won't fall asleep like she would normally though.
> It's not like she's petrified of him, just like she can't relax when he is about.
> 
> ...


I would give it... as long as it takes. Let the dog set the pace. The best thing he can do is ignore her. This takes all the pressure off her, and she will begin to try to initiate contact herself.


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## Owned By A Yellow Lab (May 16, 2012)

It can take a long time for a rescue to really settle in. Three months is still early days. I'd say it took a whole year for my Lab to really relax and start being comfortable with receiving affection etc.

Give your girl plenty of space, don't force the issue with her and your husband.


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## Talisafletcher (May 31, 2013)

Thanks for the advice. Really grateful


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

Talisafletcher said:


> She she was fine with him before the incident. He always doted on her more than I do.
> Also, she won't run away if he sits on the sofa she's lay on. She won't fall asleep like she would normally though.
> It's not like she's petrified of him, just like she can't relax when he is about.
> 
> Thanks for your help


I think she's just had an awful shock when this person she has grown to trust has apparently attacked her! I know she wasn't hurt, but that isn't how her poor little abused mind sees it - suddenly she can't be sure of him any more.

I agree with others who say that he shouldn't take her out. It would be better just to work hard at building up that trust again, and it will take as long as it takes, I'm afraid.

I have found personally that letting the aimal come to you, rather than approaching the animal works best - and food is a great incentive! (I recommend pate - just a little - smells good and lots of yummy flavour . . . ):001_tt2:

Best of luck.


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