# Nervous cat making life a misery - Please help



## Guest (Mar 9, 2009)

Ffffffffffffff


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## Number 1 (Jan 21, 2009)

Try feliway for a start.


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## Biawhiska (Mar 28, 2008)

Ever thought she might sense you don't like her? Poor thing, got no one you know who would have her and love her?


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## Saikou (Apr 2, 2008)

Sorry if this seems harsh, but there's loads in your post about your feelings yet you don't seem to have considered your cats feelings. She is not behaving like this to spite you and make your life a misery. I should imagine that she doesn't feel that great at the moment.

If you look at it from her point of view, initially when she wanted to go out, you stopped her, she has no idea why. Then you decide you want her to go out, again she doesn't understand why you have just changed your mind, but now she feels safer inside, so is being forced to go out into a strange environment. Then she moves from the place she did feel safe, and was put into a strange place with people around she didn't know very well, then she moved again to somewhere strange. Her whole world must be upside down. Cats like people are all different, some can cope with lots of change others can't. I think you need to be patient with her, her confidence in you and her surroundings is at rock bottom, and you need to build that back up. You could try a feliway plug in, that can help with anxiety, although it doesn't work in all instances.

Other than that I would start trying to gain her trust again, but it would probably be a very slow process and will have to be taken gradually. If she is hiding up stairs under the bed clothes, sit up there with her, without touching her or looking at her, just be in the same room listening to music or watching TV. After a while try tempting her out with treats, something she really enjoys, thrives or ham or bits of cheese, but again don't try to touch her or look at her, just put them under the covers gradually moving them further and further out. If you can coax her out whilst you are in the room, try putting treats near to you, but pretending that she is not there. You could go from there and try playing with a rod toy with her like a Da Bird - no cat can resist those. Again, not trying to touch her or look at her. Slowly you should re gain her confidence.

If she comes down stairs whilst you are around, try just dropping a treat beside you, no interaction. When she is ready for interaction she will let you know. If you can get her confidence inside then you can slowly build up her confidence to go outside, although personally I would never shut her out there as its just not safe. If she is happier venturing out with the door open, then let her come and go as she pleases.

It will take time, but you can get your relationship back on an even keel, she has probably just been knocked for six with all the changes and needs loads of time to adjust.


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## Guest (Mar 9, 2009)

We do love her and have tried everything to help but you are right that she may sense things are not great. I always thought I had been too soft and pampering and that is why she has ended up like this but think she just can't cope with change. Thanks for your input and I will be sure to follow the advice from the other posts to make things better.


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## Guest (Mar 9, 2009)

Thanks very much for your feedback - its not harsh, probably what I needed to hear. I have been at the end of my tether and this hasn't helped. Please rest assured that she is very well looked after and we don't make her go outside or mix with people if they visit. I welcome your suggestions and will try anything to resolve the issues we are having.


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## Biawhiska (Mar 28, 2008)

GEORGIE WILKS said:


> We do love her and have tried everything to help but you are right that she may sense things are not great. I always thought I had been too soft and pampering and that is why she has ended up like this but think she just can't cope with change. Thanks for your input and I will be sure to follow the advice from the other posts to make things better.


GREAT NEWS. I am glad you are going to "work" with her. It must be tough but I think with time and patience the rewards for you and your cat will be really great, I wish you lots of look. :thumbsup:


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

when i was a wee wee girl i rescued a kitten from our chicken run - she was about 7/8 weeks and very very nervous. She grew up (did go outside - but we lived in the country) but was still very nervous. If visitors turned up she disapppeared until they left - she rarely wanted picking up (would scrabble to get down), sat next to you not on you, and only purred for me. She took a lot of careful handling as a kitten to socialise her -like what has been suggested above. She never grew out of her nervousness but we worked around her and she had a goodlife - lived until 17. Keep trying and don't give up - just give her lots of love and patience, she may never be that _*perfect*_ cat, but love her for who she is and not what you want her to be.

this is her at 15 on her favourite chair

EDIT - what happened to the first post?????? did i write this all for nothing


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## Biawhiska (Mar 28, 2008)

Yes, I wondered where that went?!?!?!?!?! : :confused1:


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## Biawhiska (Mar 28, 2008)

spid said:


> when i was a wee wee girl i rescued a kitten from our chicken run - she was about 7/8 weeks and very very nervous. She grew up (did go outside - but we lived in the country) but was still very nervous. If visitors turned up she disapppeared until they left - she rarely wanted picking up (would scrabble to get down), sat next to you not on you, and only purred for me. She took a lot of careful handling as a kitten to socialise her -like what has been suggested above. She never grew out of her nervousness but we worked around her and she had a goodlife - lived until 17. Keep trying and don't give up - just give her lots of love and patience, she may never be that _*perfect*_ cat, but love her for who she is and not what you want her to be.
> 
> Weldone with her, she was lovely, bless her!
> 
> ...


Weldone with her, she was lovely, bless her!


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## Guest (Mar 9, 2009)

Thank you for the feedback - I was in the process of editing the response as I wanted to make it clear that I am asking for help so I can make the cats life better. I feel so sorry for her living as she does as the cats I had at home were nothing like this and I needed support and realise my orig message sounded like I am a spolit brat! the cat must have read my mind as she walked on the keyboard and deleted thr message as I had it highlighted - sign from above I think


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

Biawhiska said:


> Weldone with her, she was lovely, bless her!


Thanks - she is why I have a tortie obsession


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## Biawhiska (Mar 28, 2008)

GEORGIE WILKS said:


> Thank you for the feedback - I was in the process of editing the response as I wanted to make it clear that I am asking for help so I can make the cats life better. I feel so sorry for her living as she does as the cats I had at home were nothing like this and I needed support and realise my orig message sounded like I am a spolit brat! the cat must have read my mind as she walked on the keyboard and deleted thr message as I had it highlighted - sign from above I think


You didn't sound a spoiled bratt. Sometimes it is hard to understand the tone on a message board.


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## Biawhiska (Mar 28, 2008)

spid said:


> Thanks - she is why I have a torite obsession


......


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## Tabbytails (Jan 28, 2009)

good luck hun, the advice given on here makes perfect sense to me, Im sure if you follow it and take your time she will gradually come round, keep us posted xx


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