# Strugling to cope



## Tinks magic (Jan 4, 2009)

Right I am sitting here in tears.

Again I have been up since 4am with Tink who woke us up crying and scraping at the door she is now just over 6 months old .

We have tried water pistols getting up and feeding her and settling her back down but I am at the end of my tether. We are waiting for another kitten at teh moment but other half is like what if they both do it?

I really don think I can cope anyone got any brain waves.


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## purplepawstore (Jun 2, 2009)

I know exactly how you feel, Cassie was like this when she was young, every night/morning she would wake up and start meowing at the bedroom door at 3/4am! Everyone just told us to ignore her and she would stop. But the meowing would often be constant for 2-3 hours, by which time it was time for us to get up anyway!

This is probably not going to be good news for you, but she only really stopped it when we moved house. We decided to not to let her in our bedroom at all from the start, and from the day we moved she never did it anymore.

Hopfully getting the new kitten will be a bit of a distraction for her and having some company at night may stop her from wanting so much attention from you. Maybe get a Feiliway plug-in diffuser too, this can help with stress and will be good for helping Tink feel at ease when you get the new kitten.

I hope she stops soon and you can start catching up on sleep!


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## kittykat (Nov 2, 2007)

When are you getting your new kitten? I'm afraid theres not much else you can do in the meantime unless she is confined to another room.

When you get the new kitten I would start by not letting him in the bedroom at all and once they have got used to each other they will probably prefer to play with each other at night.

Good Luck


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

It's a bit like sleep training kids - hard at first but they do eventualy crack. 

Firstly find the room furthest away from your room and make that her room. Put her in it when you go to bed and say goodnight and then shove the ear plugfs in - NO MATTER WHAT do not get up and see to her, you are only reinforcing the behaviour. Try to only let her out when she is quiet and on your terms - talk to her once you are up but don't get into the habit of always letting her out first, try to make it different every time so she doesn't expect anything. She may cry all night for the first 3 or 4 nights she may not. But you need to be cruel to be kind. Develop it into a routine and stick to it. Within a week or two she will have adjusted to her new situation. It's hard but you have to be tough or this will carry on forever. If you feel the habit is too hard to break (cos you are knackered now) put her in a cattery for a couple of nights and then start the new routine. This will give her a break from home and you a couple of nights sleep. Hopefully when the new one comes you will have the routine sorted and the new one will accept it straight away and they will entertain themselves and not keep you awake at night.

Oh, and if you don't have a room to put her in get a large dog cage (big enoughfor bed, litter tray and food and water) and use that - cover it with a blanket to make it dark and cosy and put it at the opposite end of the house from you. 

Remember BE TOUGH and STICK TO YOUR GUNS - it can and will get better if you are consistant.


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## Antw23uk (Jun 9, 2009)

As above really and she should grow out of it. Personally i think you are CRAZY getting another kitten whilst she is like this. You will just have TWO kittens waking you up at all hours of the night instead of one!


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## Tinks magic (Jan 4, 2009)

Well the kitten I am getting is at least 4 m onths away as not been born yet so dont really think I am bring crazy.

I am asking for help to solve the problem. 

And I was emotional this morning due to lack of sleep. She is going to the breeders for 3 nights to settle her then bring her back into the new routine.


Thanks for all the positive advice.


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## shortbackandsides (Aug 28, 2008)

Hi,can i ask why you are so against her coming in your room? we have all bedroom doors open at noght and sometimes up to 8 cats in the house and none of them bother us at allthey will occasionally sleep on the bottom of the beds,but more often not.


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## tinamary (Aug 17, 2008)

We have 4 cats and they all are allowed in the bedroom. I don't understand either why your little kitten is locked out of the bedroom. I would feel awful if i knew they were crying at the door to get to me for company.

Mine don't sleep with us all the time but now and again we will wake up with one close by but they very rarely bother us. Sonic will only tap our face if the biscuits run out in the night.


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## Milly22 (Sep 15, 2008)

Antw23uk said:


> As above really and she should grow out of it. Personally i think you are CRAZY getting another kitten whilst she is like this. You will just have TWO kittens waking you up at all hours of the night instead of one!


Easy Tiger!  Another cat may help the problem.

When I had cats pre-children, they were allowed free run of the house, this meant running along the bed sideways (playing) biting our toes, scratching on the carpet to get out at all hours, which was fine as I could lie in.

After having one child who did not sleep, I refuse to let a cat sleep in our room, we have only just managed to get the child sleeping through the night so no way would I put up with a cat waking me now.

They are quite happy mostly anywhere as long as they have warmth, food and water.

Hope you get it sorted.


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## Antw23uk (Jun 9, 2009)

Tinks magic said:


> Well the kitten I am getting is at least 4 m onths away as not been born yet so dont really think I am bring crazy.
> 
> I am asking for help to solve the problem.
> 
> ...


For a start you didnt say it would be months before you got your other kitten so i assumed! Either way you will still have two young cats racing round playing with each other at ridiculous times of the day and night. This depends of course on if your existing cat actually wants feline company!

I understand how emotional it can be. We took a foster kitten on who was 8 weeks old and he just wouldnt be left alone and the constant crying to get in the room or just to be cuddled started to get unbearably emotional.

Who suggested going back to the breeders? Wouldnt this be terribly stressful to the kitten moving it back and forth?


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

I have two cats and neither are allowed in the bedroom - I sleep really lightly and every move would wake me - also my hubby is slightly allergic and having the cats on the bed at night would set him off. It really is personal choice and once Tinks understands that she isn't coming in she will settle. Each to their own - I couldn't and wouldn't have my cats or my children in the same bed as me and also don't understand those who do. But that's my choice and TM's choice and it needs respecting. 

TM, I also have a kitten coming and it isn't even concieved yet! Exciting isn't it? - if you start as you mean to go on with the little one when it comes there will be very few probs. Mine cried for about 5 mins and then accepted the situation. Good idea about the breeders too - hopefully it will be long enough to start breaking the habit and she will be wonderful soon.


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## suzy93074 (Sep 3, 2008)

Hi

I have never let my cat in the bedroom either....mainly because my OH cannot stand all the fur......it is personal preference.

When I got my cat he was 8wks old and he was exactly the same! used to cry to at the door until someone got up with him! I did this for a couple of weeks but realised I had to get tough so we had to leave him to cry....it broke my heart at first but eventually he got the message that it wasnt working anymore and stopped, it does take a while...hang in there it will get betterxx


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## Milly22 (Sep 15, 2008)

> TM, I also have a kitten coming and it isn't even concieved yet! Exciting isn't it? - if you start as you mean to go on with the little one when it comes there will be very few probs. Mine cried for about 5 mins and then accepted the situation. Good idea about the breeders too - hopefully it will be long enough to start breaking the habit and she will be wonderful soon.


I am in talks over getting another too. Its all very exciting!! Although slighty confusing at the same time. So many too choose from.


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

mellowma said:


> So many too choose from.


Decide on the lines you want and get as good a quality girl as you can (as close to show quality as poss) and stick top your desicion. There are always more kittens to be had.


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## kittykat (Nov 2, 2007)

Im glad you will be getting a few good nights sleep, it can do wonders! Just be consistant in keeping her out and she will soon get the message


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## Tinks magic (Jan 4, 2009)

Thanks all for the replys.

She is mot allowed in the bedroom for one reason only that at about 4 am she attacks feet. Untill then she sleeps lovely with us so I thought the best thing to do would be consistant and shut her out completley instead of locking her out half way through the night.

She is not stressed at going to the breeders as they are good friends and we stay over their frequently and she comes with us.

But we now have a new solution to trial till new kitty comes home our breeder hasa quenn who is two young to be mated and I am keeping her till new kitten is ready to come home.

SO thank you all for your help and I will update in a few days time!


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## Biawhiska (Mar 28, 2008)

you are borrowing a cat. i think that's rather cruel on the poor cat, what if the breeder's cat starts calling, she'll keep u up then.

can't you shut her in one room downstairs?


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## Amy-manycats (Jun 15, 2009)

Sorry to hear you are struggling.

I hope it works out for you, Be persistant although it is hard, I gave in to my cat and he is now a very stroppy kevin type charachter that rules the roost 

( We are working on it though  )

Getting them both into a strict routine when they come back (as has been mentioned). I think it might be best if neither cat is allowed into the room at any time of day that should help stop any confustion.

All in all just try not to let the cats rule you. You are the human, you decide if they can go in/out have dinner/ need to go to the vets/ be brushed. Hopefully if you can get the balance readressed you will both have a better relationship.


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## Number 1 (Jan 21, 2009)

Both of mine attack feet, the solution is to have your feet clearly sticking out the bottom of the duvet rather than underneath.


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## Tinks magic (Jan 4, 2009)

What ever I do here I am not going to please everyone.

I am not trying to be cruel (breeders cat is on the pill) as she kept calling from four months.

I am trying to do the best thing all round this is a very emotional subject and most people have been very helpfull.

I cant lock her downstairs no as I live in a apartment. I can here her from all rooms last night the girls were playing tinky scratched at the door at about 5.30 then went back to sleep untill 6.

So a minor sucsess.

I am sorry if anyone thinks I am cruel I am trying to do what is best and least painfull for my cat.


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## spid (Nov 4, 2008)

Don't worry TM - we know you are doing your best and your circumstances. Ignore what you don't like and take on board what you do. Glad yo had a better nights sleep.:thumbsup:


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## Amy-manycats (Jun 15, 2009)

Its great you ignored her early this morning! 1 small victory :thumbsup:

They will soon be mounting up.


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## hayleyb (Feb 10, 2009)

Tinks magic said:


> Right I am sitting here in tears.
> 
> Again I have been up since 4am with Tink who woke us up crying and scraping at the door she is now just over 6 months old .
> 
> ...


i really really no wat your goin through. this was me 2 days ago and has been me for the past 6 months. sheldon is now 11 months old i got him when he was 5 months and coz i was takin him from a cat household i let him in my room at night so was wasnt scared. he would have me up at 3 4 5 6 until i would get up. he then started scratchin the bed and clickin the curtains. so when i got up to tell him off hed run away then come back.

ive tried numorous sprays which work for a few days then he jst starts again.

however on monday nite after a terrible nite on sunday i was prepared to put him in another room all nite. i bought some new spray so thought id see how that worked. any everytime he jumped up id put him on the floor (previous i would stroke him and make a fuss) eventually he did get the message.

an example jst last nite he was jumpin on the bed at 4 in the morn and i kept puttin him on the floor everytime he nudged for a stroke so after 4 attempts he jumped up lay down and went to sleep with me.

i think your makin the mistake of gettin up, now im not hes gettin the hint.
a friends cat used to bang a door everytime he wanted attention and she used to get up all nite to shut him up then one nite she just stopped in bed and he didnt do it again.

pm me if you want to chat bout it alot more,
and your oh is sayin exactly wat mine is, which is why i only have one lol


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## Izzie999 (Nov 27, 2008)

Hi,

We have had this problem for months, since moving here to be precise.Basically because the apartment is open plan and so very different to what they were used to in the UK.

Like Hayley I was getting up everytime to spray or some them out. BIG MISTAKE that is exactly the reaction they want. I just ignored them,didn't even tell them to be quiet, it has worked wonders. I have had a full nights sleep every night since doing this. OH is alot less tetchy too which has made it a much more harmonious existance for everyone!

Izzie


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## Tinks magic (Jan 4, 2009)

Major sucsess people we had opne scratch this mornng for 2 seconds then nothing.

Her and hr friend re loving! God Ifeel better for some sleep


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## kittykat (Nov 2, 2007)

Tinks magic said:


> Major sucsess people we had opne scratch this mornng for 2 seconds then nothing.
> 
> Her and hr friend re loving! God Ifeel better for some sleep


Thats great news, things seem to be improving over the past few days! It wont be long before she is ignoring you completely! haha ...

A good nights sleep can do wonders


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## Amy-manycats (Jun 15, 2009)

Great to hear, hope you are starting to feel less stressed now


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## hayleyb (Feb 10, 2009)

thank goodness. and it didnt even take very much. fingers crossed shell love your new kitty too and then youll never hear a peep from her at all.


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