# Dear Reena.



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

If you are feeling neglected, unloved or have any grievances I am here to help and counsel you.
Trust me, I've seen it all !
All in confidence of course.:Bag


----------



## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Dear Reena,
I seek your advice on an issue that has been plaguing me for almost two years - it is an adolescent terrier what was brought to live here as a squeakpip. I am in my autumn years and don't deserve this. If only I had flushed him down the toilet when I had the chance; alas I am a gentle soul, and now he is too big (and horrible). However he is driving me to drink. Please advise.

Yours beseechingly,

G


----------



## Cookielabrador (Sep 1, 2018)

Oh no! I just did mine on the other thread :Hilarious


----------



## JoanneF (Feb 1, 2016)

Dear Reena. My hooman took me to the the Lake District for the weekend. It was she-hooman's birthday and as a special treat (TREAT - REALLY?) we went on a boat thingy. Do you know how close these things are to WATER? DEEP WATER? I was going to ask @O2.0 to adopt me but then she did that kayak thing and now I don't know which way to turn. Please help.


----------



## Guest (Jul 14, 2019)

Oooo Agony Aunt Reena! Love it! :Joyful


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

picaresque said:


> Dear Reena,
> I seek your advice on an issue that has been plaguing me for almost two years - it is an adolescent terrier what was brought to live here as a squeakpip. I am in my autumn years and don't deserve this. If only I had flushed him down the toilet when I had the chance; alas I am a gentle soul, and now he is too big (and horrible). However he is driving me to drink. Please advise.
> 
> Yours beseechingly,


That sounds very trying. Demand that your human buys you lots of Pawsecco and then you won't care !



JoanneF said:


> Dear Reena. My hooman took me to the the Lake District for the weekend. It was she-hooman's birthday and as a special treat (TREAT - REALLY?) we went on a boat thingy. Do you know how close these things are to WATER? DEEP WATER? I was going to ask @O2.0 to adopt me but then she did that kayak thing and now I don't know which way to turn. Please help.


A treat? A* treat* you say? 
That is the worst form of torture which my humans do recognise as such. You must come and live with me where you will be safe from such torture.


----------



## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

SusieRainbow said:


> That sounds very trying. Demand that your human buys you lots of Pawsecco and then you won't care !


Thank you Reena, I will show this to my human so she complies, in the meantime her gin will suffice *hic*


----------



## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

JoanneF said:


> Dear Reena. My hooman took me to the the Lake District for the weekend. It was she-hooman's birthday and as a special treat (TREAT - REALLY?) we went on a boat thingy. Do you know how close these things are to WATER? DEEP WATER? I was going to ask @O2.0 to adopt me but then she did that kayak thing and now I don't know which way to turn. Please help.


:Hilarious:Hilarious:Hilarious
Timber to be fair the water was lovely and warm, not the kind that shocks you when you first go in. Have your human buy you one of those doggy life vests with a handle, they're perfect for scooping wayward little dogs out of the water


----------



## JoanneF (Feb 1, 2016)

O2.0 said:


> :Hilarious:Hilarious:Hilarious
> Timber to be fair the water was lovely and warm, not the kind that shocks you when you first go in. Have your human buy you one of those doggy life vests with a handle, they're perfect for scooping wayward little dogs out of the water


@O2.0 she made me swim - MADE me - in warm water off Croatia and I still hatesedes it. I am not water spangle, never will be.


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

Dear Renna

Hooman has recently become fond of a giant thing called horse, I liked seeing horse before as it meant nice runs in the field, good snacks and if the foot man had been yummy chews.
However hooman has grown increasingly fond of horse and sometimes leaves me home with male hooman and comes back smelling of horse! She is not allowed to go to field without taking me too. I have also found that she is spending treat money on treats for horse, I have tried them and they are not very good!

How do I punish her for this or get her to at least bring horse produced snacks home with her?

Kind regards

Chester


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Maria_1986 said:


> Dear Renna
> 
> Hooman has recently become fond of a giant thing called horse, I liked seeing horse before as it meant nice runs in the field, good snacks and if the foot man had been yummy chews.
> However hooman has grown increasingly fond of horse and sometimes leaves me home with male hooman and comes back smelling of horse! She is not allowed to go to field without taking me too. I have also found that she is spending treat money on treats for horse, I have tried them and they are not very good!
> ...


Dear Chester.
Think of it this way. If you hooman is feeding her horse snacks, even if they taste gross,she is providing the horse with fuel to provide yummy snacks for you ! Now you have to persuade her that she needs your company when visiting the horsey and offer to help with the mucking out process ! I'm sure she would appreciate some help.
Love and licks,Reena.


----------



## Guest (Jul 14, 2019)

Dear Reena,

Why were cats put on this earth if not for me to chase?

Sincerely,

Confused in NZ.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

McKenzie said:


> Dear Reena,
> 
> Why were cats put on this earth if not for me to chase?
> 
> ...


Hi Kenzie.
Cats were created to produce delicious tit-bits for us discerning dogs to enjoy ! If you chase them away they will produce them where you can't avail yourself of them!
Maybe with your current digestive issues it would be best not to indulge in too many though, because I don't think they're very good for your tummy.
Love and licks,Reena.xx


----------



## tabelmabel (Oct 18, 2013)

Dear Reena,

When i was born, i think i had 3 sisters that looked a lot like me. And 4 brothers that looked a bit like me.

What happened? My hoomans tell me this is my brother









Frankly, embarassing. That loony looks nothing like me.

They tell me this is my sister:









Ok. I see some similarities. She loves bird watching. So do I. She looks kind of sophisticated. I like that look. But we are just not speaking the same language at all. That's no sister of mine.

As for these rodents.. .2 more sisters and a brother?! Who are they kidding?! That's my dinner, surely:









Reena. I despair. Please tell me I am not related to any of these numpties. I am a lean, mean, hunting machine. My style is being seriously cramped.

Yours, in desperation, Tilly xx


----------



## tabelmabel (Oct 18, 2013)

Dear Reena. I need a haircut. I can't see a thing. And I don't like my silly coat. Nor do I want any pictures of my bottom posting online. It's private. Otherwise life is good.









I enclose these snaps to put you in the picture.









Ps: i love my sister. Her name is Tilly. She's almost as pretty as I am handsome. I also have a furry black sister called Beryl. And 2 very little sisters called Mabel and Belle. And a little brother, Mike. They live in a cage, and Tilly watches over them so kindly. We are a very close family and love to be photographed together. I want to look my very best.

How can i tell my family I don't like my coat and hairy eyes without upsetting them. I love them all so much, you see.

Please help me, Reena!

Mr. Murphles.


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena 

My name is Loki I likes to chew things up and spits them out. I loves playing with my brother Sox and playing with my ball. Hooman sometimes says she can't play ball she has to go work to pay for us ? Then sox says he won't play so I has to go sleep. Surely this is not a good use of my time ? 

Also the long line ? Hooman says she doesn't really trust me not to bother other dogs. How can I bother when I is so cute ? 

Sox says if I is not happy maybe I could live somewhere else. He says he will find me a better home no work only ball. Should I trust him ? 

Yours Loki


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Dear Reena

I have a rather delicate problem I'd like to discuss with you, but I'm afraid you might consider me a racist and biased towards immigrants which I can assure you, I'm not! 

You might remember from another thread that since Saturday a "white fing" has been living with us. My hooman is such a trusting creature and although I hesitate to say it, not too bright and easily duped by sweet talk. For me though something doesn't add up and I'm almost certain the "white fing" is a spy sent by Putin to steal vital information from this forum.

What makes me so certain?

He arrived here without as much as a collar or lead, in fact no identification apart from a dubious looking Russian ID card which states his name is Dmitri although to us he's known as Grisha. Was born in St Petersburg and doesn't understand a word of English, but even so seems unusually interested in the hoomans computa thingamebob. . All highly suspicious!

I'd be pleased if you could advise me whether to report him to the appropriate authorities, so they can investigate and send him back to where he came from. I really fear he's a threat to PF and all its member!

Thank you so much

Gwylim (Hungarian citizen)


----------



## Cookielabrador (Sep 1, 2018)

Dear Reena, 
I is not impawressed. I is waking up in morning and Hooman mummy taking bad photos of me, and I needs my beauty sleep.
Then I is finding out she posted them on internet 
















Reena I needs your helps. I wanted to gets famous on internet but this isn't whats I had in minds. 
Much cuddles and licks,
Cookie


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

tabelmabel said:


> Ps: i love my sister. Her name is Tilly. She's almost as pretty as I am handsome. I also have a furry black sister called Beryl. And 2 very little sisters called Mabel and Belle. And a little brother, Mike. They live in a cage, and Tilly watches over them so kindly. We are a very close family and love to be photographed together. I want to look my very best.
> 
> How can i tell my family I don't like my coat and hairy eyes without upsetting them. I love them all so much, you see.
> 
> Please help me, Reena!


Dear Murphy, I see your problem. All that shaggy hair is masking your good looks. I would suggest that you pretend you cannot see or hear anything ( unless of course it's food related, there are limits ! ) until your hooman is shamed into treating you to a haircut.



Boxer123 said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> My name is Loki I likes to chew things up and spits them out. I loves playing with my brother Sox and playing with my ball. Hooman sometimes says she can't play ball she has to go work to pay for us ? Then sox says he won't play so I has to go sleep. Surely this is not a good use of my time ?
> 
> ...


Hello Loki, you are indeed very cute but sadly not everyone will appreciate your exuberant greetings. Speaking personally I would be afraid that you would accidentally hurt me because I am very little and my hooman mum says 'a Princess' whatever that means !
I think maybe you should excercise restraint when approaching small middle aged dogs because we can be a bit grumpy and then your feelings would be hurt.
As for the sleep, I can't understand why you would consider that a waste of your time ?
Your brother sounds as though hedoes not have your interests at heart, just his own.
Love,Reena.



Magyarmum said:


> I have a rather delicate problem I'd like to discuss with you, but I'm afraid you might consider me a racist and biased towards immigrants which I can assure you, I'm not!
> 
> You might remember from another thread that since Saturday a "white fing" has been living with us. My hooman is such a trusting creature and although I hesitate to say it, not too bright and easily duped by sweet talk. For me though something doesn't add up and I'm almost certain the "white fing" is a spy sent by Putin to steal vital information from this forum.
> 
> ...


Hello Gwylim.
This does sound very suspicious.I would observe this intruder very, very carefully, keep a record of his activities and message me if anything alarms you.
Watch and wait !



Cookielabrador said:


> Dear Reena,
> I is not impawressed. I is waking up in morning and Hooman mummy taking bad photos of me, and I needs my beauty sleep.
> Then I is finding out she posted them on internet


Hello Cookie, there is only one thing to do here, and that is chew up her phone so she can't take embarassing pictures of you. That is an invasion of your privacy and most undignified !
But you do look a jolly chap and I think we could have fun together. PM me , but don't tell Bobby !


----------



## Bugsys grandma (Aug 3, 2018)

Dear Reena

My hooman mum and me is at the mastiffs house. Their hoomans aren't here. 
Don't gets me wrong Reena, I loves the mastiffs but I don't likes having to share my hooman mum wiv thems all the time! 
My hooman spends lots of times wiv George, and I is not happy! He,is a bit whiney and sad and has to sits wiv her on the sofa, and he is following her round all the time, I have to push him out of the way sometimes so I can gets to my hooman. Hooman says that it's cos George misses his own hoomans too much. 
I don't wants to share my hooman mum any more! 
What should I do? 
Also there is a fing here called a fan! My hooman mum says its to help us keep cool, I don't likes it at all! It scares me but it's very hot at nighttimes and me and the mastiffs gets very panty. Hooman says, "you guys would not be so hot if Woody would have the fan on" is she blaming me? 
Please help me Reena. 

Regards Woody.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Bugsys grandma said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> My hooman mum and me is at the mastiffs house. Their hoomans aren't here.
> Don't gets me wrong Reena, I loves the mastiffs but I don't likes having to share my hooman mum wiv thems all the time!
> ...


Hello Woody.
I gather this is a temporary arrangement ? My advice would be to show off what a lovely kind, generous boy you really are and share your mum with these whingers. They have been callously abandoned by their Hoomans who have gone off to have fun without them - how sad is that ! 
You willhave your Hoomum back all to yourself before long and you will all be happy.
As for the fan, I know they can be scary and your Hoomum is out of order blaming you for the mastiffs being panty. Butif it wasn't for the scary fan she would probably have to fan them with a magazine or some such thing.
Could you suggest that she buys cool-mats -not with your treat money of course ! Or they could sleep in the kitchen on a colder floor ?
Love and licks ( just for you ! )
Reena.


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

Do you need therapy yourself yet?

Regards,

A Hooman.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena.
> 
> Do you need therapy yourself yet?
> 
> ...


Not yet, but having to share my treats and cuddles with this whipper-snapper Bobby is rather trying. I keep thinking he might go back soon and leave me in peace, and end this obsession with walkies.
Mind ,he is quite dishy,so ....... not all bad.:Shy


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

It was very kind of you to ask though,because all this advising and counselling is very draining.:Yawn


----------



## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Who would have thought there are so many dogs with troubles on PF!


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

lullabydream said:


> Who would have thought there are so many dogs with troubles on PF!


Well, as we know,we doggies are very stoical. Not just physical pain,but emotionally too, so it seemed only fair that we should have access to help for emotional lproblems like you pampered hoomans !


----------



## ForestWomble (May 2, 2013)

Dear Reena,

There's a monster in the cupboard. 
I is only little but I tries to make it goes away when it comes out. It is loud and sucks stuff up, including my crumbs I've left for later. 
Mum calls it a hoo-ver but I knows its really a monster.

How do I gets rid of it?
Bungo.


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

Dear Reena

Thank you for your advice, you is one smart doggy! I have been extra helpful today with the horse and have helped to poo pick the field with hooman. She puts snacks in wheely thing, very silly as much faster to just eat as you go along. I wonder if she is collecting them to take home for me?

After I helped with the chores mummy said I was a good boy and that I would be coming back tomorrow with her. You obviously have the beauty and brains, I hope your Bobby pup appreciates your wisdom! If not I'm quite good at teaching other dogs manners so he can come here for a bit if you like (hooman says I is a stoodge dog, I'm not sure what that is exactly but I get lots of cheese for saying hi to or ignoring other dogs depending on what I am asked to do so I like being one)

Thanks

Chester


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

ForestWomble said:


> Dear Reena,
> 
> There's a monster in the cupboard.
> I is only little but I tries to make it goes away when it comes out. It is loud and sucks stuff up, including my crumbs I've left for later.
> ...


Hello Bungo, I sympathise as we have one too ! I've found the best way todeal with it is leave the room as soon as you see it coming and ask your Hoomum for a yummy chew to take your mind off it. She would be very heartless to deny you that and it would help to compensate for the sacrificed crumbs ' for later'.










Love,Reena, here to help.xx


----------



## Veba (Dec 18, 2017)

Dear Reena

Please help! Urgent! I heard the words "stinks", "bath" and "Reilly" in the same sentence. I think it's happening tonight. Can you help?!


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Veba said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> Please help! Urgent! I heard the words "stinks", "bath" and "Reilly" in the same sentence. I think it's happening tonight. Can you help?!


Oh dear, bad news indeed!
I would suggest you pretend to be too poorly for a bath but that could result in a visit to the vet - even worse !
You could suggest to your Hoomum that she gets some Doggy Wipes , still not nice but better than a bath ! Or ask her to wipe some squeezy cheese on the side of the bath for you to lick off to take your mind off the indignity ?
Reena, xx


----------



## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

Dear Reena,

I has plan...stoopid hooman sez I need lose weights...dat means I gets no Puppuccino so ats midnight I esscape to steals all the Puppuccinos









Will yous join meh???


----------



## Veba (Dec 18, 2017)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear, bad news indeed!
> I would suggest you pretend to be too poorly for a bath but that could result in a visit to the vet - even worse !
> You could suggest to your Hoomum that she gets some Doggy Wipes , still not nice but better than a bath ! Or ask her to wipe some squeezy cheese on the side of the bath for you to lick off to take your mind off the indignity ?
> Reena, xx


I luvs the vet, they give me treats and cuddles and I even ate something bad on Christmas Day so I could visit them! Maybe I'll do the same tonight. Or I might suggest Doggy Wipes. I don't think my hoomans are smart enough to think of those even though they have bottles and sprays of stuff that makes me sneeze all the time! Thank you!


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

StormyThai said:


> Dear Reena,
> 
> I has plan...stoopid hooman sez I need lose weights...dat means I gets no Puppuccino so ats midnight I esscape to steals all the Puppuccinos
> View attachment 410170
> ...


OOOhhhh yes, I keep hearing about those Puppaccinos and they sound amazing ! 
The only trouble is I can't get down the stairs by myself because my legs are too little. Hmm, I will have to hatch a cunning plan .......


----------



## MilleD (Feb 15, 2016)

As a visitor from cat chat, can I just say this thread is magnificent? :Hilarious


----------



## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

SusieRainbow said:


> The only trouble is I can't get down the stairs by myself because my legs are too little. Hmm, I will have to hatch a cunning plan .......


I come gets?









Stoopid two legged thundertwonk taught me hows to opens door...nuffin stops meh nows


----------



## DanWalkersmum (Mar 21, 2019)

SusieRainbow said:


> Hello Bungo, I sympathise as we have one too ! I've found the best way todeal with it is leave the room as soon as you see it coming and ask your Hoomum for a yummy chew to take your mind off it. She would be very heartless to deny you that and it would help to compensate for the sacrificed crumbs ' for later'.
> 
> View attachment 410168
> 
> ...


Love it!


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

StormyThai said:


> I come gets?
> View attachment 410174
> 
> 
> Stoopid two legged thundertwonk taught me hows to opens door...nuffin stops meh nows


That would be lovely but unles your stoopid human has taught you to drive it's a very long walk ! You would need a lot of Puppaccinos when you got here.xx


----------



## ForestWomble (May 2, 2013)

SusieRainbow said:


> Hello Bungo, I sympathise as we have one too ! I've found the best way todeal with it is leave the room as soon as you see it coming and ask your Hoomum for a yummy chew to take your mind off it. She would be very heartless to deny you that and it would help to compensate for the sacrificed crumbs ' for later'.
> 
> View attachment 410168
> 
> ...


Yummy chew sounds like good idea to compensate for stolen snacks.

Licks and wags Bungo.


----------



## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Dear Reena,

My bitey face friend Maisie keeps stealing the ball when I play fetch with Mummy in the garden. Mummy put her inside but she can open doors what can I do?
She steals the ball and runs off with it. I don't like her running because her legs scare me, she dropped the ball because Mummy said and it hit my head.

Avid ball player, and shoe lover Harley


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

lullabydream said:


> Dear Reena,
> 
> My bitey face friend Maisie keeps stealing the ball when I play fetch with Mummy in the garden. Mummy put her inside but she can open doors what can I do?
> She steals the ball and runs off with it. I don't like her running because her legs scare me, she dropped the ball because Mummy said and it hit my head.
> ...


It sounds like your bitey face friend wants to play too ! Mummy needs multiple balls and things to throw in opposite directions - that sounds like fun !


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Magyarmum said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> I have a rather delicate problem I'd like to discuss with you, but I'm afraid you might consider me a racist and biased towards immigrants which I can assure you, I'm not!
> 
> ...


:Hilarious . Love it!



SusieRainbow said:


> Not yet, but having to share my treats and cuddles with this whipper-snapper Bobby is rather trying. I keep thinking he might go back soon and leave me in peace, and end this obsession with walkies.
> Mind ,he is quite dishy,so ....... not all bad.:Shy





SusieRainbow said:


> It was very kind of you to ask though,because all this advising and counselling is very draining.:Yawn


Dear Reena.

Please make sure you get some quality time away from being the forum's Agony Dog and have some quality time with your Hooman.



StormyThai said:


> I come gets?
> View attachment 410174
> 
> 
> *Stoopid two legged thundertwonk t*aught me hows to opens door...nuffin stops meh nows


:Hilarious :Hilarious .

And that's exactly why I never taught Madam Milly to open doors.  :Hilarious


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena.
> 
> Please make sure you get some quality time away from being the forum's Agony Dog and have some quality time with your Hooman.


You are very kind.
I'm currently taking a short break to recharge my batteries.A little walk ,a yummy dinner and now dozing on Hoomum's lap.


----------



## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

SusieRainbow said:


> That would be lovely but unles your stoopid human has taught you to drive it's a very long walk ! You would need a lot of Puppaccinos when you got here.xx


I started packing my bag...fink I gots confuzed


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

StormyThai said:


> I started packing my bag...fink I gots confuzed
> View attachment 410183


Hmm, yes,something slighty amiss there. You do look very cute though! xxxx


----------



## Squeeze (Nov 19, 2009)

Dear Reena,

I live with my two mummies and my granny.
Granny thinks I’m always hungry and that I should be fed more.
Granny once gave me so many biscuits and treats that mummy Squeeze got really quite cross and now she’s hidden the treat jar away.

I think granny has the right idea, I’ve been practicing my hungry face for 9 years and I thought I had finally found somebody who caves in.

Why is mummy S being mean?

Yours, rumbling tum.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Squeeze said:


> Dear Reena,
> 
> I live with my two mummies and my granny.
> Granny thinks I'm always hungry and that I should be fed more.
> ...


Hello Jaxon, you're a fine looking boy !
I think your Hoomums are just trying to help you keep your good health and handsome looks to be honest . Are you familiar with the expression ' _being cruel to be kind'_?
Your Granny is obviousy a very kind,well meaning lady who is under your spell , have you tried sitting nicely and asking for a bit of carrot or fruit ( but not grapes !!) That would be better for you. 
Too many biscuits are not good for you, neither is cheese, pizza, bacon etc. So just be aware that your mummies have your interests at heart.
Love and licks,Reena.xxx


----------



## Squeeze (Nov 19, 2009)

SusieRainbow said:


> So just be aware that your mummies have your interests at heart


Thanks for the advice Reena
That's what they say too.
Looks like granny needs retraining or mummy needs to keep the treat jar hidden 

But these carrots and fruit you speak of, do I look like a rabbit?!
Yuck, I'd rather go without then put that in my mouth. :Vomit


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Squeeze said:


> Thanks for the advice Reena
> That's what they say too.
> Looks like granny needs retraining or mummy needs to keep the treat jar hidden
> 
> ...


I'm with you there! The old dog I used to live with loved them - carrots, apples,bananas, cucumber ! To be fair she didn't look like a rabbit either but she was very greedy and would eat anything.


----------



## Squeeze (Nov 19, 2009)

SusieRainbow said:


> I'm with you there! The old dog I used to live with loved them - carrots, apples,bananas, cucumber ! To be fair she didn't look like a rabbit either but she was very greedy and would eat anything.


I did eat the carrot many years ago as a young pup but decided they are too cronchy, why waste all that energy on vegetables?


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Squeeze said:


> I did eat the carrot many years ago as a young pup but decided they are too cronchy, why waste all that energy on vegetables?


OK, I'm getting that carrot is the food of the Devil!
My mum bought some rather yummy crunchy sticks for me and Bobby , they are called Hostich (?? ) tendings ?
I was a bit doubtful at first because, between you and me, I had a lot of my toofies out a few weeks ago.But I managed just fine ! Bobby crunched his up in a couple of minutes, he has magnificent toofies !
Could you ask for some of them? Mum says they are low fat , full of protein and good for me !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pet-Produc...s&qid=1563280264&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena

I hear you are very wise so hopes you can help. My name is Sox I is a boxer. I have a little brother called Loki. As you can see from my picture I was very happy to have a brother the first night he comes home.

At first he was biting all the time I didn't likes that nor did hooman. We had to hide in another room.

He stops that now but honestly he is so annoying he squeaks all day his toy. Sometimes when it is bed time hooman takes his squeaks but it comes back the next day.

We is moving house and only have two bedrooms not three I am worried I will have to share with him and his squeaks is there anyway you can suggest to stop the squeaking? He also always tries to cuddle me I is not keen as you can see from other picture.

Hooman is clearly fond of the little guy or I would suggest he lives with the breeder maybe just see him at weekend? Do you think she will go for it ?


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Magyarmum said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> I have a rather delicate problem I'd like to discuss with you, but I'm afraid you might consider me a racist and biased towards immigrants which I can assure you, I'm not!
> 
> ...


Greetings Comrade Reena

I feel I should address the above allegations made against me by an insignificant small black (formerly) hairy creature of our mutual acquaintance.

Let me assure you, dear lady every word is a lie and as that great American leader, Comrade Trump says is nothing more than "FAKE NEWS"!

Despite being born in the mighty country of Russia and receiving the best education the KGB could provide, although I'm a security expert I'm certainly not a spy! If you don't believe me please phone my former mentor, Vlad (Putin) with whom I'm in daily contact.

Beautiful Reena, she of outstanding intelligence and understanding, I trust you will accept that everything I have said is the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Your most devoted admirer

Grisha aka the Russian "white fing"

PS If you fancy some cut price treats or your hooman's into vodka and caviar just let me know as I've got contacts - wink, wink, nudge nudge!

.


----------



## ebonycat (May 15, 2016)

Dear Reena

My hooman says she loves me but twice a day she sticks a needle in me, I’m a good girl, I behave myselfs & don’t move while she sticks needles in me. She says it’s good for my health, says I’m diabetic (whatever that means) I’m not sure, I guess I dos feel better after having needles.
It’s not just needles but horrid eye drops & eye ointment too
I had a bigs operation on both my eyes months & months & months ago but still I have to have these horrid eye drops in my eyes, hooman says I’m a good girl & I lets her do them
I have to gos to a special vet who’s miles & miles away, I love the car ride there & the vets make a fuss of me, but I don’t like the things they stick in my eyes but I sits & lets them do their testings.
I have to see my other vets now & again, I love my vet, he’s very nice & my hooman says I’m such a good girl.

I loves my hooman but I would love her even more if she didn’t sticks needles in me.
I only plays her up when she try’s to put horrid tablets down my throat, I don’ts like them & know her games when she try’s to hide them, tricky hooman.
I wants treats but hooman & vets say I’m not allowed them no more.
Hooman does gives me chicken mixed in with my kibble in my breakfast & dinners but I wish it was more chicken, it’s only a little bit, if I’ms such a good girl surely I’m allowed more chickens
Please please can you talks to my hooman & asks her for more chicken.
Yours faithfully
Lady dog


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> View attachment 410347
> View attachment 410346
> Dear Reena
> 
> ...


Hello Sox, I have heard how annoying little brothers can be !
Regarding the squeaky toy ,my old friend Tango would chew every single one my mum bought me until she had killed it !Even my Santa that Mum bought me for Christmas! So I would suggest you try that , Tango could do it in about 20 minutes.
The cuddling you might like better in the winter, it will keep you warm. In the mean-time, sorry but you have to put up with it because I think he's staying. But if you are kind to him and show him how to be a nice polite boy like you , one day he will be your very best friend !
Love and licks ! Reena.xx


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Greetings Comrade Reena
> 
> I feel I should address the above allegations made against me by an insignificant small black (formerly) hairy creature of our mutual acquaintance.
> 
> ...


Hello Grisha, thank you for explaining your position and the offer of treats - I would be more grateful if the treats were for me though !
I think the formerly 'hairy black thing' might be trying to disguise himself ! He is clearly of a suspicious nature so you must gain his confidence by being charming and playful. Once you have him wrapped round your little paw he will be pate in your hands and tell you everything you need to know !
Love and licks,Reena.xx


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

ebonycat said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> My hooman says she loves me but twice a day she sticks a needle in me, I'm a good girl, I behave myselfs & don't move while she sticks needles in me. She says it's good for my health, says I'm diabetic (whatever that means) I'm not sure, I guess I dos feel better after having needles.
> It's not just needles but horrid eye drops & eye ointment too
> ...


Oh dear,poor lady dog, it sounds as though you're having a rough ride ! Well done for being so brave !
Unfortunately even the loveliest Hoomums have to do horrid things to us for our health and this is clearly what's happening here. 
Has your Hoomum asked the clever doggie doctor if you could have some more chicken ?It doesn't sound like much to ask.
I'm sure the eye drops are horrid, my hooman says they are, but she is very brave and so are you !
Love, Reena .xx


----------



## ebonycat (May 15, 2016)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear,poor lady dog, it sounds as though you're having a rough ride ! Well done for being so brave !
> Unfortunately even the loveliest Hoomums have to do horrid things to us for our health and this is clearly what's happening here.
> Has your Hoomum asked the clever doggie doctor if you could have some more chicken ?It doesn't sound like much to ask.
> I'm sure the eye drops are horrid, my hooman says they are, but she is very brave and so are you !
> Love, Reena .xx


Dear Reena
My hooman says she gives me enough chickens (but I'ms a greedy doggo when's it come to chicken)
Hooman has just reminded me that I'ams allowed a fish stick once a days, hooman says they stinks but I loves them & my vets says I can haves one as they are fats free.
I do loves my hooman
Thank you lovely Reena xx


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

ebonycat said:


> Dear Reena
> My hooman says she gives me enough chickens (but I'ms a greedy doggo when's it come to chicken)
> Hooman has just reminded me that I'ams allowed a fish stick once a days, hooman says they stinks but I loves them & my vets says I can haves one as they are fats free.
> I do loves my hooman
> Thank you lovely Reena xx


I'm glad I could help. I agree chicken is very, very yummy ! 
Are they the crunchy fish sticks you have ? Not so keen on them but my old greedy friend Tango adored them !


----------



## ebonycat (May 15, 2016)

SusieRainbow said:


> I'm glad I could help. I agree chicken is very, very yummy !
> Are they the crunchy fish sticks you have ? Not so keen on them but my old greedy friend Tango adored them !


Yes they are hard & crunchy
Yum
xx


----------



## StormyThai (Sep 11, 2013)

Squeeze said:


> they are too cronchy, why waste all that energy on vegetables?












Agreed!!!!!!!


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

StormyThai said:


> View attachment 410362
> 
> 
> Agreed!!!!!!!


Best Thai picture ever I think. (We probably need to run a poll)


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

StormyThai said:


> View attachment 410362
> 
> 
> Agreed!!!!!!!


What . *I asked for a Puppacinno, *not this c**p


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Hello Grisha, thank you for explaining your position and the offer of treats - I would be more grateful if the treats were for me though !
> I think the formerly 'hairy black thing' might be trying to disguise himself ! He is clearly of a suspicious nature so you must gain his confidence by being charming and playful. Once you have him wrapped round your little paw he will be pate in your hands and tell you everything you need to know !
> Love and licks,Reena.xx


Most Esteemed Comrade Reena

My sincere thanks for your advice. It is much appreciated and I will certainly take it to heart and act upon what you have suggested.

May I say in all sincerity how much I admire you and if we didn't live so far away I'd (dare I say it)? ask you out for a date.

I'm rather partial to petite, more mature ladies like you ....... but sadly it cannot be........

All can say my dearest, sweetest lady is .........................










Grisha "The White Fing"


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Most Esteemed Comrade Reena
> 
> My sincere thanks for your advice. It is much appreciated and I will certainly take it to heart and act upon what you have suggested.
> 
> ...


Aww,thank you ,that is so sweet ! 
My Humum was looking into getting me a Russian boyfriend, he would have been a toy-boy as only 2 years old, but that didn't work out unfortunately. 
As you know I have a house-mate called Bobby,he is rather handsome but I am playing it cool, don't want him to think I'm a tart !


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

I have a very serious problem with my adopted sister Honey. Hooman obviously luffs her more than me. She gave me a Kong, and Honey Monster a rubber ball which was filled with treats, while my Kong had almost nothing in it. 

My Kong, even frozen, lasts no more than 5 minutes, while Honey's ball lasts for 30, and she never finishes it all anyway. But Hooman says I cannot have it until Honey's finished with it. I last ate hours and hours and hours ago! 

How can I make my Hooman see I needs Honey's treat dispenser as well as my own?

Yours Hopefully,

Madam Milly


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena.
> 
> I have a very serious problem with my adopted sister Honey. Hooman obviously luffs her more than me. She gave me a Kong, and Honey Monster a rubber ball which was filled with treats, while my Kong had almost nothing in it.
> 
> ...


Hi Madam Milly, nice to hear from you !
You need to ask your Hoomum to buy you a ball exactly like Honey's but a bigger size. Do remember Honey is very little ( like me ) and no doubt will take longer to finish her treats .
I don't think your Hoomum loves Honey more than you really ! You are suffering from something called _sibling rivalry , _my mum's human offspring suffer from that even they is grown-ups with big pups of their own 
Rest assured, your Hoomum loves you very much , but Honey is probably needing a bit more attention until she gets used to being in your family. You can help her by being extra nice to her .


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

As a few of you have been kind enough to ask me out I thought I would post a picture for you.


----------



## Bugsys grandma (Aug 3, 2018)

SusieRainbow said:


> As a few of you have been kind enough to ask me out I thought I would post a picture for you.
> View attachment 410408


I know I is much bigger than you, beautiful Reena, but I do likes a petite Lady, and I is very gentle wiv my petite friends, I is a bit younger too but age is just a number, so I is definly swiping right!! 
Lots of sniffs and licks :Kiss
Woody.


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> Hi Madam Milly, nice to hear from you !
> You need to ask your Hoomum to buy you a ball exactly like Honey's but a bigger size. Do remember Honey is very little ( like me ) and no doubt will take longer to finish her treats .
> I don't think your Hoomum loves Honey more than you really ! You are suffering from something called _sibling rivalry , _my mum's human offspring suffer from that even they is grown-ups with big pups of their own
> Rest assured, your Hoomum loves you very much , but Honey is probably needing a bit more attention until she gets used to being in your family. You can help her by being extra nice to her .


Dear Reena.

Thank you for that reassurance.

I put it to the test this morning. I fell off the bed (don't know how. Maybe Honey did some psychological voodoo !) But I fell off the bed, and Hooman asked me if I was alright. I just lay there, with a bit of whale eye, and lifted my head. Hooman said a lot of bad words, but I could tell she wasn't angry.

Then she foned Uncle Hooman and said she didn't think I could get up. Uncle Hooman said he'd come round. I luffs Uncle Hooman cos he takes me for Walkies and lets me off the leash, so I gets up. Hooman calls me some bad names, but I could tell she wasn't angry, and she gave me a lot of attention and Honey didn't get a look-in. :Smug I gets my Joint Stick, too, which Honey doesn't get.

But then Hooman told me to go and lie down and she takes me for Walkies after her coffee, and cancelled Uncle Hooman's visit. 

Your's Despondently,

Milly Lurcher.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena.
> 
> Thank you for that reassurance.
> 
> ...


Oh dear, Milly ! You made a mistake there , didn't you ! But at least you will get your walkies after coffee, and a lovely joint (?? I didn't know doggies could smoke joints, but I'm not here to judge ! )
What did Honey do while you were the subject of this drama ?


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear, Milly ! You made a mistake there , didn't you ! But at least you will get your walkies after coffee, and a lovely joint (?? I didn't know doggies could smoke joints, but I'm not here to judge ! )
> What did Honey do while you were the subject of this drama ?


She nicked the spot that was supposed to be mine when Hooman gets up! Right next to Hooman's pillow. 

Hooman says the joint stick is to help keep my legs from going stiff, but I do feel a bit high. :Hilarious


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> She nicked the spot that was supposed to be mine when Hooman gets up! Right next to Hooman's pillow.
> 
> Hooman says the joint stick is to help keep my legs from going stiff, but I do feel a bit high. :Hilarious


Oooohhh ,I will ask my Hoomum to get me some of these ' joints' ! They sound fun !
I can see you need lot of fortitude and patience with Honey, sounds like she is aiming for world domination ! 
Could you poop on the carpet and make sure she gets the blame ? Or I've heard Wellies are quite good.:Shifty


----------



## JoanneF (Feb 1, 2016)

I am loving this thread!


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oooohhh ,I will ask my Hoomum to get me some of these ' joints' ! They sound fun !
> I can see you need lot of fortitude and patience with Honey, sounds like she is aiming for world domination !
> Could you poop on the carpet and make sure she gets the blame ? Or I've heard Wellies are quite good.:Shifty


Hooman can tell if it's my poop or Honey's, apparently. She says if Honey was to do a poop the size of mine, her bum would have exploded. :Arghh :Shifty


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Hooman can tell if it's my poop or Honey's, apparently. She says if Honey was to do a poop the size of mine, her bum would have exploded. :Arghh :Shifty


Hmmm, you'll have to leave me to think about that one . It sounds as though you have an ally in your Hooman Uncle though.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> As a few of you have been kind enough to ask me out I thought I would post a picture for you.
> View attachment 410408


Such a beautiful lady!










Your Grisha


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Such a beautiful lady!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You are very sweet and kind, but I suspect you say that to all the lady dogs.:Shy


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

I is sorry for worrying my Hooman. She has taken to lying in the couch. She never does that. I is very worried about her. Do you think this will make her feel better? 









Honey is nowhere to be seen. She up to somefink.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena.
> 
> I is sorry for worrying my Hooman. She has taken to lying in the couch. She never does that. I is very worried about her. Do you think this will make her feel better?
> View attachment 410463
> ...


Oh my sweet girl, I'm sure that will make her feel better ! What a lovely nurse you are, where did you train ? 
Has she been to the Hooman Vet yet ? Mine gave me magic pills for back spasms, they is very very ouchy !


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh my sweet girl, I'm sure that will make her feel better ! What a lovely nurse you are, where did you train ?
> Has she been to the Hooman Vet yet ? Mine gave me magic pills for back spasms, they is very very ouchy !


Thank yoo. I trained at the Canine School of Hooman Vet Nursing. 

Yes, she went on Tuesday. . They referred her to somefink called fizeo? (Hooman says it's spelt physio). She has a fone appointment next Tuesday. She just tried foning the Hooman Vets again but they closed for training.


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

I is innocent of all charges.

When Milly was keeping vigil over Hooman, I was sleeping on my pillows in the bedroom. I thought we had an agreement - to work shifts. Milly's shift has ended, so now I am doing my shift.









My Hooman luffs me cos am cute. :Kiss. But she doesn't luff me more than Milly.

Milly comes in and takes my food all. The. Time. She is not as hard-done-by as she makes out.

Yours,

Honey Chi.


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

Dear Reena

After a breakthrough following your last fabulous advice I have had no horse produced snacks today. Apparently hooman has to work sometimes and not see horse everyday. Work is boring. At work I just sleep in my crate and collect cuddles from the other working people, I am limited to one pizzle at work and I only sometimes gets second 'good boy for going in your crate' breakfast.

I would rather be helping with horse chores but apparently hooman needs money's to 'keep me in the style to which I have become accustomed'. Does she mean my treat money? I thought that grew on trees, it's why I water every tree I can find on a walk.

Does sharing horse mean that someone else gets to help with the poo picking chores? They are my horse snacks and i don't like to share!

However I would be happy to share some horse snacks with you though as you give such good advice, if you send me your address by pee mail I will get hooman to post some.

Wags

Chester


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Maria_1986 said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> After a breakthrough following your last fabulous advice I have had no horse produced snacks today. Apparently hooman has to work sometimes and not see horse everyday. Work is boring. At work I just sleep in my crate and collect cuddles from the other working people, I am limited to one pizzle at work and I only sometimes gets second 'good boy for going in your crate' breakfast.
> 
> ...


You are very kind !
There are lots of horses round here but Hoomum doesn't take me to visit them so I haven't had chance to sample the snacks.To be honest my absolute favourite is duck and goose produced but it's very rare I get any. For some strange reason the Hoomans hurry me past such delights .
I did love kitty truffles, there were always lots in my garden, then one day puss was gone and no more truffles ! I do miss her.
I don't think they would allow me to have the horsey snacks so I'll have to decline your generous offer to share.
Thanks again ( good idea about watering the trees, must tell Bobby ! )
Love and licks, Reena.


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena

Today has been a dark day in boxer history. I was stung upon my butt by a horrible wasp this morning. Now water comes from the sky so I cannot go out and play with my ball or I wills melt ! Why does hooman let this happen Reena ? She bought some treats but it's not enough. Should we takes industrial action.

Yours Loki


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> View attachment 410518
> Dear Reena
> 
> Today has been a dark day in boxer history. I was stung upon my butt by a horrible wasp this morning. Now water comes from the sky so I cannot go out and play with my ball or I wills melt ! Why does hooman let this happen Reena ? She bought some treats but it's not enough. Should we takes industrial action.
> ...


Oh dear, you poor pup ! 
I have to tell you though that leaky sky does not equate to melty dissolving pup ! I thought for many years that it dd , but now my vast experience proves me wrong. 
The wasp sting on your bum must have been shockingy painful but I'm sure you were a brave pup and expressed gratitude to your hooman for the treats and administrations to relieve your terribe suffering.
You do sound rather glum this morning, I suggest you have a nice little nap with big bro and hopefully the sky will stop leaking and you will be allowed out to play.
Love and licks, Reena. xxx


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> You are very sweet and kind, but I suspect you say that to all the lady dogs.:Shy


Dis be me Reena, da small black (formerly) airy creature aka Gwylim.

You beez ded rite bout the orrible white fing I'z haz to live wif!

E finkz coz hiz dad is argentinun e'z a latin luver an e'z irriziztable to the ladiez.

Disgustinz' wot i sez chattin up evri gurl e laiz iz eyez on

Stik to dat Bobbi fella iz wot i sez!

Hugz

Ur small black (formerly) airy frend


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Dis be me Reena, da small black (formerly) airy creature aka Gwylim.
> 
> You beez ded rite bout the orrible white fing I'z haz to live wif!
> 
> ...


He can certainly turn on the charm and I have to say it could turn a girl's head. Not mine though, I'm too worldly wise for that and old enough to be his great granny !
I know I look younger than my years and have preserved my good looks so I'm quite accustomised to this sort of attention. 
I will take your advice and stick with Bobby, but we are just good friends.
Love and licks, Reena.xx


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

Please, please help.

Hooman went crazy this morning, after I offered her a calming signal as she went to pick me up. Usually, doing this works, and instead of being picked up, I gets a belly rub.

Not today. .

Human told me off for the calming signal, scooped me up and started hitting me. It didn't hurt, and she did it to herself too, but her crazies didn't end there.

Once home, she put me in the big white tub Milly said was a baff, took me out but left the shampoo on, and jumped in the shower herself. Then she washed the shampoo off me, and went around, cleaning (she calls it "blitzing") the house. She even took all our food dispensers away and threw them in the baff, too, so Milly is not my friend, either.

What's worse, is next time, hooman say she's going to put me on fleabay and sell me to the first bidder. :Arghh

Your's desperately,

Honey Chi.


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Honey.

Don't be rolling onto your back in the middle of an ant's colony, then. And the "hitting" was to dislodge or squash the ants crawling all over you.

Your's,

Hooman.


----------



## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Oh no, Honey :Bag 
Lesson learned I hope!


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

I'm sorry Honey, but clearly your Hoomum had your interests at heart. If you have ever been bitten by lots of ants you will know it's even worser torcher than a baff ! 
As a matter of interest what was the calming signal ?


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> I'm sorry Honey, but clearly your Hoomum had your interests at heart. If you have ever been bitten by lots of ants you will know it's even worser torcher than a baff !
> As a matter of interest what was the calming signal ?


She crouches down, then rolls on to her back. Difference between the calming signal and an invitation for a belly rub, is in the former, her tail's wrapped between her legs, while in the invitation to belly rub, it's relaxed and wagging furiously, usually with her front legs doing a squirrel with a nut impression the second I take my hand away  :Hilarious


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

Hooman and I is friends again. 

My Hooman is sneaky, though. She hadn't taken all our treat dispensers and thrown them in the baff - she'd hidden 2 of them in the freezer box and brought them out at 3pm.

So now, Milly has forgiven me, too, I think.

These ants things are worse than the baff . . ? :Wideyed :Eggonface

Your's Gratefully,

Honey Chi.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Dear Reena

Wez dezpratly needz your elp!

Az yuz can see wez behind barz after bein charjed wif bein noizy n dizordly.

Onezt wuzn't uz folt wuz da ooman wot caim ta gate n showted fu our mum. Wez thort e waz thretning er n itz owr job to protekt er so wez barkd everse loudley oping ta frightin im. Butt mum wuz cros wif us n stuk uz in prizon n sez wez got ta stay der til wez kowz ow to behave.

Wez finks if yud speek ta er on owr behalf shez mite letuz out in thyme fur owz dinnar

Pleez

The white fing n the Small (formerly) hairy fing


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Magyarmum said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> Wez dezpratly needz your elp!
> 
> ...


Don't do the crime boys if you can't take the time ..


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Boxer123 said:


> Don't do the crime boys if you can't take the time ..


But .... but .....but weez innoscent ....... onest !


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Dear Boys.
I hope by now you have been released and each had a large portion of humble pie !
@Boxer123 has it absolutely right, couldn't have said it better myself. I suspect you egged each other on and both wanted the last word ... I mean woof !
When your Hooman asks you to be quiet you must respect her wishes, I expect she felt she had the situation under control and didn't appreciate you trying to protect her.
You must be extra nice and charming for a while, remind her what cute, good boys you can be , and she _might _forgive you.
I'm sorry I was so long coming to your aid but my Hoomans went shopping for doggy treatses and I couldn't get to the pooter thingy.
Love and licks, Aunty Reena. ( Be good now ,I'm watching you ! ) xx


----------



## Darkangelwitch (Mar 16, 2016)

Dear Reena,

My hoomans brought home this pretty tan puppy and whilst I loves her snuggling wiv me she keep bitings my tail.

I wouldn't minds except I had to have it chopped off last year coz I brokes it (dat hurst lots) and it's stilltenders. How's do I stop puppy bitings my stubby tail?

Her teefys are really sharp and pointy, worst than havings dem injection fings at the nice vets house


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Darkangelwitch said:


> View attachment 411314
> 
> 
> Dear Reena,
> ...


Oh dear, that does sound sore ! 
Puppies can be very trying, they think of it as playing, but I think you should kindly and firmly tell this little rascal *NO!* 
A little growl ( can you growl ? Have a few little practises in private, that will help ) and a loud yelp if she even starts should alert your hoomans to your problem. Are they watching her and trying to stop her ? Demand protection ! Perhaps you could offer her one of your chewy toys so she doesn't use you !
She does look very snuggly though. I hope my suggestions help, please let me know.
Love and licks, Aunty Reena,xxx


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Dear Boys.
> I hope by now you have been released and each had a large portion of humble pie !
> @Boxer123 has it absolutely right, couldn't have said it better myself. I suspect you egged each other on and both wanted the last word ... I mean woof !
> When your Hooman asks you to be quiet you must respect her wishes, I expect she felt she had the situation under control and didn't appreciate you trying to protect her.
> ...


Dear Aunty Reena

Yur adviz don't wurk. Owr hoomanz crozz coz wez dident barks wenz she wantez uz too.

Waz liik diz ..... Da man weez barkd at comz bak agin wen itz oowr hoomanz bedthyme wantin somat kalled booz n shez showting atim eversa lowdly tellin im ta buz auff!

Da wite fing n mi waz az quite az micez but nowr shez crozz coz wez dident woof!

Shud wez puter behind barz or fawgive er?


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Dear Aunty Reena
> 
> Yur adviz don't wurk. Owr hoomanz crozz coz wez dident barks wenz she wantez uz too.
> 
> ...


Oh dear, tricky ! 
I think you need to learn Hooman Body Language. If your Hooman seems to be angry and shouty with a visitor _it's ok to bark as loud as you can ! _But if she is happy and smiley with visitor _hold the bark._
This is a communication problem. Your Hooman needs to tell you when it's OK to bark and when it's not.
Don't put her behind bars , how will she feed you ? Or give you treatses ?
I hopes that helpsses .
loves and licks, Aunty Reena.xxx


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear, tricky !
> I think you need to learn Hooman Body Language. If your Hooman seems to be angry and shouty with a visitor _it's ok to bark as loud as you can ! _But if she is happy and smiley with visitor _hold the bark._
> This is a communication problem. Your Hooman needs to tell you when it's OK to bark and when it's not.
> Don't put her behind bars , how will she feed you ? Or give you treatses ?
> ...


----------



## Darkangelwitch (Mar 16, 2016)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear, that does sound sore !
> Puppies can be very trying, they think of it as playing, but I think you should kindly and firmly tell this little rascal *NO!*
> A little growl ( can you growl ? Have a few little practises in private, that will help ) and a loud yelp if she even starts should alert your hoomans to your problem. Are they watching her and trying to stop her ? Demand protection ! Perhaps you could offer her one of your chewy toys so she doesn't use you !
> She does look very snuggly though. I hope my suggestions help, please let me know.
> Love and licks, Aunty Reena,xxx


Fanks you Reena, my hoomans do try and keep a close eye on her but she sneaks up on me in the garden or when's I is snoozing, I don't fink her last home ever used the work NO coz she don't take no notice but my hoomans do tries to protect me but she is sneakies


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Darkangelwitch said:


> Fanks you Reena, my hoomans do try and keep a close eye on her but she sneaks up on me in the garden or when's I is snoozing, I don't fink her last home ever used the work NO coz she don't take no notice but my hoomans do tries to protect me but she is sneakies


So now you can help her to turn into a nice polite doggy like you ! If you tell her '_ no, not allowed' _she will soon learn. Practise those growlies !


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena 

It is with a heavy heart I write to you. Last night my hooman forgot to defrost my breakfast meat for this morning. Myself and Loki had to make to with a kibble breakfast today. Normally she would scramble me up some eggs but alas she had none. 

I can't tell you how disappointed in her I am. How does hooman make such a blunder? 

Yours 

Sox (hungry in the south east)


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)




----------



## Guest (Jul 28, 2019)

Dear Reena. Buddy here, my hooman don’t like it when I goes after those big noisey fings hooman calls cars, vans or trucks, hooman doesn’t like it when I barks at tv either but when she did that falling on the floor thing shaking I barked and never got told to be quiet, I can alert hooman before she does that falling and shaking fing. Not had too for agez.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> It is with a heavy heart I write to you. Last night my hooman forgot to defrost my breakfast meat for this morning. Myself and Loki had to make to with a kibble breakfast today. Normally she would scramble me up some eggs but alas she had none.
> 
> ...


Oh dear, boys ! 
It sounds as though your Hooman has things on her mind that are distracting her from her normally selfless devotion to your needs. I advise you give her lots of cuddles today to show her that you understand and are not upset with her ( even though you really are ) and I'm sure normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. 
Love and licks from Auntie Reena.xx


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear, boys !
> It sounds as though your Hooman has things on her mind that are distracting her from her normally selfless devotion to your needs. I advise you give her lots of cuddles today to show her that you understand and are not upset with her ( even though you really are ) and I'm sure normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
> Love and licks from Auntie Reena.xx


Much thanks for your reply we normally are quite strict with hooman but I suppose some positive reinforcement can't hurt. She has been out to buys eggs for scrambled egg now.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> Much thanks for your reply we normally are quite strict with hooman but I suppose some positive reinforcement can't hurt. She has been out to buys eggs for scrambled egg now.


That's right boys, positive reinforcement every time, and lots of encouragement and praise when she gets it right !
Hoomans are very sensitive I believe, I'm sure she felt very bad about her behaviour.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Boxer123 said:


> Much thanks for your reply we normally are quite strict with hooman but I suppose some positive reinforcement can't hurt. She has been out to buys eggs for scrambled egg now.


Hello Comrades Loki and Sox,

You have my deepest sympathy!

Quite frankly I don't know what's happening with our hooman at the moment. All I can say is she's sadly lacking in her duty of care, especially in the food department. This morning for our breakfast instead of giving me my favourite smoked salmon or caviar, which being Russian I naturally expect for my Sunday breakfast, she gave us some hake which she'd cooked in the microwave. Disgusting! And even the small black, slightly more hairier creature had to agree with me. Now I realise she's just an English peasant and I shouldn't expect too much ..... but I ask you!

I think some training is in order and I'd be pleased to hear what methods you're finding most successful

Salutations
The White Fing
Grisha Putin


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Magyarmum said:


> Hello Comrades Loki and Sox,
> 
> You have my deepest sympathy!
> 
> ...


We currently follow the recently debunked pack theory training method; she isn't allowed on the sofa, we eats food before her and we walks in front of her. So that she knows where she is in the pack (at the bottom) however we mights follow Reena advice with some positive reinforcement. It really is a shame that Sunday morning ruined cos hooman make no effort with breakfast.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> We currently follow the recently debunked pack theory training method; she isn't allowed on the sofa, we eats food before her and we walks in front of her. So that she knows where she is in the pack (at the bottom) however we mights follow Reena advice with some positive reinforcement. It really is a shame that Sunday morning ruined cos hooman make no effort with breakfast.


Talk about a dog with a bone , you guys can't let a slip in standards drop,can you ! You is lucky boys to get food _at all, _If you had my hooman you would be thankful for any little crumb that fell on the floor ! 
As for Grisha - *caviare, *for *breakfast ! *Very, very spoilt ! I loves fish cooked in the microwave , it's my poorly food, so I sometimes pretend to be poorly so I can have it .


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena

The wets stuff comes out the sky again today so much we nearly drown ! I knows you said we won't melt but are you sure? I has gone flat after my walk. It's so wet hooman wrap us up in a towel and makes us eggs.

Ps we has moved house and have a spare room if you would ever likes to stay over maybe talks more about this wet stuff.

Yours Loki


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

Dear Loki

Please send wet stuffs this way, hooman took me to field as horse had the vet man coming to do horrible stabby things. It was great fun running through and rolling in the wet grass, and then even better was on the way home the whole van smelled all nice and like soggy, happy, doggy  hooman appreciated the smell as she talked about it the whole way home!

Much nicer than the too hot to run in mad circles weather we had been having, the wet stuff means I could spend a whole hour running in mad circles without getting too hot. 

Wags

Chester


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Maria_1986 said:


> Dear Loki
> 
> Please send wet stuffs this way, hooman took me to field as horse had the vet man coming to do horrible stabby things. It was great fun running through and rolling in the wet grass, and then even better was on the way home the whole van smelled all nice and like soggy, happy, doggy  hooman appreciated the smell as she talked about it the whole way home!
> 
> ...


Dear Chester

This is Grisha, the white fing.

W'eez got lots of the wet stuff an if u wontz sum just tel me yor adress an I'll send u sum!

Duzu want sum of the noizy stuff az well coz weez got plenty of dat?

Ur frend

Grisha


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> View attachment 413259
> Dear Reena
> 
> The wets stuff comes out the sky again today so much we nearly drown ! I knows you said we won't melt but are you sure? I has gone flat after my walk. It's so wet hooman wrap us up in a towel and makes us eggs.
> ...


It is very rainy here too, I had to run out for my ablutions and run straight back in ! Not because I thought I would dissolve, I'm not an aspirin ! But because I don't like getting my dainty little paws wet and muddy.:Shy
That's very kind inviting me to stay but to be honest I'm a bit (well, very ) scared of big, bouncy dogs.
I'm sure you are very lovely though.xxx


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Maria_1986 said:


> Dear Loki
> 
> Please send wet stuffs this way, hooman took me to field as horse had the vet man coming to do horrible stabby things. It was great fun running through and rolling in the wet grass, and then even better was on the way home the whole van smelled all nice and like soggy, happy, doggy  hooman appreciated the smell as she talked about it the whole way home!
> 
> ...


We likes it at first but then it got so bads we nearly drown. Then hooman gets all uppity cos we dry ourselves on the sofa if not for drying what is sofa for ? I bets you smell good.


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

I shall have all the rains then please, hooman pays less attention in the rains and stands in the shelter with horse so I can eats more horse produced snacks without being told I will make myself sick. I don't mind drowning rains or wet paws, I even jumped in the paddling pool while it was drowning rains, made my top and my bottom soggy all at the same time!

My hooman sends me to my room after rains with towels on the floor so I can rub dry on them and play with them.

My fur sister when I first moved in said that rain was bad and that it made staffies melt, boxers obviously have the same issue but I guess spaniels doesn't have that problem?


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Maria_1986 said:


> I shall have all the rains then please, hooman pays less attention in the rains and stands in the shelter with horse so I can eats more horse produced snacks without being told I will make myself sick. I don't mind drowning rains or wet paws, I even jumped in the paddling pool while it was drowning rains, made my top and my bottom soggy all at the same time!
> 
> My hooman sends me to my room after rains with towels on the floor so I can rub dry on them and play with them.
> 
> My fur sister when I first moved in said that rain was bad and that it made staffies melt, boxers obviously have the same issue but I guess spaniels doesn't have that problem?


Maybe spaniel have a magic coat to stops the melting. Hooman puts towels out for us to but I much likes sofa to dry. We will send you our wet stuff it not good for boxers. Sox has been sleepies all day.


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

I think my mum has officially lost the plot. 

She's become obsessed with my side, lifting the coat she knows I don't want to wear anyway, and checking my flank. 

And then, she does a happy dance, and tells me what a good girl I am. 

I think I might have to put her up as free to good (ish) home. What do you think?

Yours,

Madam Milly.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena.
> 
> I think my mum has officially lost the plot.
> 
> ...


Hmm , Milly, maybe you've forgotten but I haven't ! 
I believe you incurred an unpleasant injury recently ? Your poor mum has been very worried about you and she's obviously a little over excited to see it healing nicely !
Please be patient with her and show your appreciation with extra snuggles , they always win my mum over.:Shy


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> Hmm , Milly, maybe you've forgotten but I haven't !
> I believe you incurred an unpleasant injury recently ? Your poor mum has been very worried about you and she's obviously a little over excited to see it healing nicely !
> Please be patient with her and show your appreciation with extra snuggles , they always win my mum over.:Shy


Dear Reena,

So that's what she's doing? I thought she was angry with me about that.

Thank you, as always, go your swift reply. I'll be patient patient little more.

Warmest licks and snuggles.

Milly.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena,
> 
> So that's what she's doing? I thought she was angry with me about that.
> 
> ...


Human body language can be hard to understand, Ifind a little tail wag and hand lick the answer to most situations .


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Most Esteemed Comrade Reena

Having read Madam Milly's request for advice I am now wondering if you would be so kind as to impart some words of wisdom in my direction.

I am also of the opinion that my hooman who is extremely ancient and decrepit is definitely as you say in English "losing her marbles".

Out of consideration for her advanced age, I don't like to wake her during night to let me out to do a pee-pee, and therefore having been doing them on her carpet in the living room, which she doesn't seem too pleased about.

I don't know why because the lovely shaggy carpet is so soft to my behind and soaks up my pee-pee easily which surely saves her having to clean it up?.

Although she hasn't said anything, I know she isn't happy by the way she rushes around spraying the carpet and spending half the morning on her hands and knees dabbing at it, but the most disturbing thing is when she chases me with the monster that puffs out hot clouds of smoke and would you believe it ....... wets the floor!

She's acting very strange by rolling up the carpet every night which isn't fair because now I haven't got anything comfy to relieve myself on!

Your infinite wisdom on the subject would be most appreciated

Grisha your Russian admirer


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Most Esteemed Comrade Reena
> 
> Having read Madam Milly's request for advice I am now wondering if you would be so kind as to impart some words of wisdom in my direction.
> 
> ...


Dearest Grisha. 
It's a little- errrm sensitive but (_whispers ) boy dog's pee-pee is rather smelly !_ Iknow this because Bobby is a bit partial to peeing on things but does seem to be getting better. So your human is trying to keep your ( and her! ) home sweet smelling.
I know what you mean about lovely soft carpet though, what a treat ! ( reminisces) I used to enjoy a lovely wee on the carpet but like your hooman mine wasn't impressed either ! She used to squirt stuff on it so I couldn't find my perfect spot and had to find somewere else !Then she kept taking me in the garden and saying 'go wee-wees !' I ask you,so embarrassing ! So to shut her up I did, she was so happy ! Anyway,after that I thought 'anything for an easy life' and went outside for wee-wees. The grass is lovely and tickly !
I thinkit might be an old lady thing, we have to make allowances for them. I would wake her up when you need pee-pee, see how she likes that !
Love and licks , Reena.xx


----------



## Torin. (May 18, 2014)

Omg, I had somehow completely missed this thread?! Off to read it all now


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Torin. said:


> Omg, I had somehow completely missed this thread?! Off to read it all now


Good choice for a Friday evening.

Enjoy and hope you find it as funny as I do!


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

Dear Reena

My hooman is useless. She has forgotten to order my nice wet food and I am having to make do with stuff from the supermarket. How do I get better staff for the future? I tried sending out an ad by pee mail but haven't had any responses from new hoomans yet.

Woofs

Chester


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Maria_1986 said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> My hooman is useless. She has forgotten to order my nice wet food and I am having to make do with stuff from the supermarket. How do I get better staff for the future? I tried sending out an ad by pee mail but haven't had any responses from new hoomans yet.
> 
> ...


This is bad hooman no words maybe look at rehoming hooman I hope Reena sorts it out for you.


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena

Today hooman took me to the river, once again I was stung upon the butt by a wasp. Why do these wasps keep stinging my butt? Hooman gives me tablet in cheese when it happens so that is good I like cheese. I've added a picture of me by the river does my butt look big ? Stingable ?


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Maria_1986 said:


> My hooman is useless. She has forgotten to order my nice wet food and I am having to make do with stuff from the supermarket. How do I get better staff for the future? I tried sending out an ad by pee mail but haven't had any responses from new hoomans yet.


Dearest Chester, Supermarket food isn't too bad ! Bobby and I eat it, it's pretty tasty and we looks *bootiful* on it ! We love Forthglade but we is little piggies and will eat nearly anything.:Hungry
I think if you can be patient your hooman will redeem herself and normal service will be resumed. Please write again if this fails.
Love and licks, Reena.xx



Boxer123 said:


> Today hooman took me to the river, once again I was stung upon the butt by a wasp. Why do these wasps keep stinging my butt? Hooman gives me tablet in cheese when it happens so that is good I like cheese. I've added a picture of me by the river does my butt look big ? Stingable ?


Oh dear, Sox ! How unfortunate ! I have to say, if I was a wasp I would be very tempted by your butt, it's round and smooth and shiny, a wasp's dream butt ! I'm sure the cheesy tablet helped the pain , so not all bad ! 
Every cloud, eh ?
Love and licks, Reena ( Bzzzzzzzz)


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> Dearest Chester, Supermarket food isn't too bad ! Bobby and I eat it, it's pretty tasty and we looks *bootiful* on it ! We love Forthglade but we is little piggies and will eat nearly anything.:Hungry
> I think if you can be patient your hooman will redeem herself and normal service will be resumed. Please write again if this fails.
> Love and licks, Reena.xx


Dear Reena

I have been eating the supermarket food and you are right it is still tasty but I prefer hooman buys me the more expensive stuff as it's extra tasty!
I have been looking sad at meal times after sniffing my bowl and making sure hooman is aware of my displeasure (I then wait for her back to be turned and gobble it all up!) and you were right to advise patience, apparently normal food will be delivered on Monday. There is also extra treats coming with the food to help make it up to me.

Once again thank you for your help and for sharing your wisdom with the rest of dogdom

Wags and licks

Chester


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Dearest Grisha.
> It's a little- errrm sensitive but (_whispers ) boy dog's pee-pee is rather smelly !_ Iknow this because Bobby is a bit partial to peeing on things but does seem to be getting better. So your human is trying to keep your ( and her! ) home sweet smelling.
> I know what you mean about lovely soft carpet though, what a treat ! ( reminisces) I used to enjoy a lovely wee on the carpet but like your hooman mine wasn't impressed either ! She used to squirt stuff on it so I couldn't find my perfect spot and had to find somewere else !Then she kept taking me in the garden and saying 'go wee-wees !' I ask you,so embarrassing ! So to shut her up I did, she was so happy ! Anyway,after that I thought 'anything for an easy life' and went outside for wee-wees. The grass is lovely and tickly !
> I thinkit might be an old lady thing, we have to make allowances for them. I would wake her up when you need pee-pee, see how she likes that !
> Love and licks , Reena.xx


Dearest Reena

We on PF are so blessed to have some one like you, a purveyor of infinite wisdom, in our midst.

You are quite right, old ladies do have some odd ideas, but as she provides me with most of the luxuries to which I am entitled, I suppose I can make a concession or two and accommodate her peculiar ways by toileting in the garden. In fact this morning I tried it out and as you say the grass is lovely and tickly.

Dear Lady, words cannot express my thanks.

Your devoted admirer

Grisha


----------



## margy (Dec 9, 2018)

Dear Reena my problem is my best friend Suzie who keeps sitting on me when sharing our bed, cos she wants it to herself. Do you think I should have My own bed.Hooman did say she had seen some cheap in a shop. Bargain price. 
Yours faithfully Belle


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

margy said:


> Dear Reena my problem is my best friend Suzie who keeps sitting on me when sharing our bed, cos she wants it to herself. Do you think I should have My own bed.Hooman did say she had seen some cheap in a shop. Bargain price.
> Yours faithfully Belle


Hello Belle,lovely to hear from you, I hope you're Ok ?
I wouldn't be too upset by Suzie trying to sit on you but maybe she's feeling a bit squashed. Could your hooman put your beds very close together so you're near each other but have your on space ? Or a bigger bed you can share without squashing each other ? I think in the colder weather she'll be glad of you to cuddle up to.
Love and licks, Reena.xxx


----------



## margy (Dec 9, 2018)

Thankyou Reena, forgot how warm and snuggly Suzie can be. Better than a hot water bottle. Winter is coming so will put up with her till spring x


----------



## DaisyBluebell (Apr 14, 2017)

Dear Reena,
I am very concerned indeed. Something is going on here & I am not sure what it is. My hooman keeps kissing and cuddling me & saying things like "oh I hate to leave you" "I will miss you so much"  What can this mean? I have not been naughty, well not very naughty! Well Ok so quite naughty. I did rip the back of one of my beds open and drag out all the innards & play with them all over the floor but that would not be enough to send me away would it?? She & the male hooman keep going back and forth to the room where I like to sneek in and lay on the big dog bed in there but there are hoomans clothes all over it & I am not allowed to lay on the big dog bed on top of the clothes! There are two big box things with little wheels on them standing beside the big dog bed! What could they be. Are they getting rid of me and all these clothes,will I too be put in the big box things? I am very worried. She hooman just said "it will be so quiet without you & I will miss your cuddles" well why is she sending me away then!!
Do you know what all this means, is my world about to collapse, I do love the hoomans, how can I tell them I will be good girl from now on if they keep me :Arghh:Arghh:Arghh
Emma


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

DaisyBluebell said:


> Dear Reena,
> I am very concerned indeed. Something is going on here & I am not sure what it is. My hooman keeps kissing and cuddling me & saying things like "oh I hate to leave you" "I will miss you so much"  What can this mean? I have not been naughty, well not very naughty! Well Ok so quite naughty. I did rip the back of one of my beds open and drag out all the innards & play with them all over the floor but that would not be enough to send me away would it?? She & the male hooman keep going back and forth to the room where I like to sneek in and lay on the big dog bed in there but there are hoomans clothes all over it & I am not allowed to lay on the big dog bed on top of the clothes! There are two big box things with little wheels on them standing beside the big dog bed! What could they be. Are they getting rid of me and all these clothes,will I too be put in the big box things? I am very worried. She hooman just said "it will be so quiet without you & I will miss your cuddles" well why is she sending me away then!!
> Do you know what all this means, is my world about to collapse, I do love the hoomans, how can I tell them I will be good girl from now on if they keep me :Arghh:Arghh:Arghh
> Emma


Oh, dearest Emma ! I recognise those signs ! It means your Hoomans are going on HolliBobs. From chatting to your Hoomum ( well, snooping on my Hoomum's conversations  ) I am positive she will have found someone very lovely to look after you while they are on Hollibobs. They will certainly bring you presents back and you will probably like your own Hollibobs so much you don't want to go home ! ( you could always pretend you don't just to make them feel a bit bad ! )
I suspect my Hoomans might have some similar plans knowing the signs.


----------



## DaisyBluebell (Apr 14, 2017)

I am feeling a lot better now you have said that & I don't think they will be sending me away after all then. I have been to the female hooman's best friends house before & I really liked it there, other dogs to see & that female hooman really loves me and makes big fusses of me to & gives me nice things as treats when I wag my tail at her. I will miss my hoomans very much but I think I will try what you suggest when they come back to me & act like I do not know them - that will be fun I think.
Thank you for your advice, it has eased my mind very much.
Emma xxxx


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

DaisyBluebell said:


> I am feeling a lot better now you have said that & I don't think they will be sending me away after all then. I have been to the female hooman's best friends house before & I really liked it there, other dogs to see & that female hooman really loves me and makes big fusses of me to & gives me nice things as treats when I wag my tail at her. I will miss my hoomans very much but I think I will try what you suggest when they come back to me & act like I do not know them - that will be fun I think.
> Thank you for your advice, it has eased my mind very much.
> Emma xxxx


The kennels where I used to go with my friend Tango had a picture of a dog pretending not to know who his Hoomans were, very funny ! 
I've never been able to carry it off, I get too excited , and I don't think Bobby will either.


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

DaisyBluebell said:


> I am feeling a lot better now you have said that & I don't think they will be sending me away after all then. I have been to the female hooman's best friends house before & I really liked it there, other dogs to see & that female hooman really loves me and makes big fusses of me to & gives me nice things as treats when I wag my tail at her. I will miss my hoomans very much but I think I will try what you suggest when they come back to me & act like I do not know them - that will be fun I think.
> Thank you for your advice, it has eased my mind very much.
> Emma xxxx


Definitely don't speak to them when they come back and have lots of fun so they gets photos and message saying 'she not miss you at all'. That's what I did then hoomans never went on holiday without me again.

Sox


----------



## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Deer Reena, 
Mummy keeps saying be careful, slow down, here have a chew toy. I don't want a chew toy I was chewing earlier. I just want to play. 

I don't know what has happened. I felt funny and needed lots of snuggles Friday and so Mummy took me to the cuddle place. But I didn't get cuddles. I got a nice man who shoved something in my bottom, looked at my teeth, poked my tummy and moved my legs head and then made me squeak by prodding my back. He stabbed me with a needle and said come back later if I feel poorly still. 

When I got home I felt amazing, I could run jump play with my toys and Stan, Eevee and Maisie. But mum keeps giving me my chew toys when I don't want them. I want to play bitey face, zoomies, tug and raggy. I do like my chew toys and play with them a lot but I prefer running and jumping. 

What can I do?

Love Harley, aged 5 months


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

lullabydream said:


> Deer Reena,
> Mummy keeps saying be careful, slow down, here have a chew toy. I don't want a chew toy I was chewing earlier. I just want to play.
> 
> I don't know what has happened. I felt funny and needed lots of snuggles Friday and so Mummy took me to the cuddle place. But I didn't get cuddles. I got a nice man who shoved something in my bottom, looked at my teeth, poked my tummy and moved my legs head and then made me squeak by prodding my back. He stabbed me with a needle and said come back later if I feel poorly still.
> ...


Hello little one ! I suspect your mummy is not keen on you racing about and playing 'bitey face' in case you or one of the others gets hurt ! Your teeth will be pretty sharp and pointy so any nips from them, even accidental, will be sore.
If I was you I would get yur mummy to provide yummy chewy things to help, does she give you icy cold Kongs that have been in the freezer ? Let her read this so she gets the hint .
Also, if you're running and jumping and playing all day long you and everyone else will get very tired of it , so you need a 'calm' place where you can have a lovely snooze and so can your friends.
Life is very exciting when you're a pup but it will still be there when you've all had a rest .
Give my regards to your mummy .
Love ad licks, Reena.xx


----------



## Guest (Sep 9, 2019)

Dear Reena

The hoomans always watch me poop, but when I barge my way into the bathroom when my hoomans go potty, they tell me to respect their privacy. I cannot understand the double standards. What the fluff?!

Nova xx


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Kakite said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> The hoomans always watch me poop, but when I barge my way into the bathroom when my hoomans go potty, they tell me to respect their privacy. I cannot understand the double standards. What the fluff?!
> 
> Nova xx


Aha ! 
I have a cunning plan ! I go right to the top of our garden, in the bushes, and no-one can see me ! 
My Hoomans shut the bathroom door so I can't get in , but I do wait just outside the door just in case they disappear down the toilety thing or out of the window.


----------



## Guest (Sep 9, 2019)

I'm a clever monkey and I push the door open with my nose! :Smuggrin


SusieRainbow said:


> Aha !
> I have a cunning plan ! I go right to the top of our garden, in the bushes, and no-one can see me !
> My Hoomans shut the bathroom door so I can't get in , but I do wait just outside the door just in case they disappear down the toilety thing or out of the window.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Deer Awnty Reena

Pleeze help! Owr hooman sez me an the white fing iz a dizgrays n she'z ashamed of we!

We'z doeznt no wot wez done to make her mad cos wez was only doin owr job, tellin off a veri rude dog wot was sayin horrid fings bout us n owr mum.

N den we ad to protekt owr mum frum dat awful womanz whoz wez certan wuz triin to run er ova wif her bike! 

S'not fair coz wez got tuld ov fer wantin to bite er!

Weez veri unappy (but not enuf to stop eatin) n all wez want iz fur owr mum to luv uz agin n say wez good boyz

Too eartboken Schnowzerz


----------



## DanWalkersmum (Mar 21, 2019)

Magyarmum said:


> Deer Awnty Reena
> 
> Pleeze help! Owr hooman sez me an the white fing iz a dizgrays n she'z ashamed of we!
> 
> ...


 ha ha brilliant!


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Deer Awnty Reena
> 
> Pleeze help! Owr hooman sez me an the white fing iz a dizgrays n she'z ashamed of we!
> 
> ...


Oh dear , boys ! Of course your mum will forgive you , you were just being doggies ! It can be annoying at the time though, a few times in the last couple of weeks my mum has been cross with *me ! *  because I did woof and snap at doggies that Bobby was chatting to ! They waz too close to my face and I thought they might sniff me !
But as soon as we got home she gave me my yummy dinner and then we had a lovely snuggle.
So don't fret boys these things happen . Don't forget we have to make extra allowances for our old ladies and try not to scare them . 
Love and licks, Reena.xxx


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear , boys ! Of course your mum will forgive you , you were just being doggies ! It can be annoying at the time though, a few times in the last couple of weeks my mum has been cross with *me ! *  because I did woof and snap at doggies that Bobby was chatting to ! They waz too close to my face and I thought they might sniff me !
> But as soon as we got home she gave me my yummy dinner and then we had a lovely snuggle.
> So don't fret boys these things happen . Don't forget we have to make extra allowances for our old ladies and try not to scare them .
> Love and licks, Reena.xxx


Deer Awnty Reena

Fanku for bein so hundastandin n itz nice ta no yor mum wuz crozz wif u.so maybee owrz in't so bad afta all.

She sezta me dat part of da problum isda white fing, coz heez a trubal maka (he'z Russun so wot du u expekt).n needz sum treinin n ta lern sum mannaz

Zo tuday owr mumz taked im fur iz walkiz n left mi at ome wif a chu n iz ad a luverly snoooz. Den she n me ad a luverly walk bi owrselfs n iz wus such a gud boyz Iz got anufer chu n a big cuddels!

Iz appi now

Luv Gwylim


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Deer Awnty Reena
> 
> Fanku for bein so hundastandin n itz nice ta no yor mum wuz crozz wif u.so maybee owrz in't so bad afta all.
> 
> ...


Hi Gwylim, so glad you're happy ! It does sound as though 'white fing' is a handful , maybe he's just finding his paws and seeing how far is too far ? Or perhaps he just gets very excited like Bobby 

Are you setting a good example to him, teaching him some manners ? It's a big responsibility I know, I have to do the same with Bobby, he's a big clumsy oaf sometimes ! A little 'WOOF' down his earhole works wonders !
Sounds like your mum loves you a lot, you are a very lucky boy ! But not as much as my mum loves me.:Smuggrin

Love and licks, Reena.xxx


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

Please help, as I am afraid for my life. Not just mine, but Milly's, too. And maybe even Hooman's. :Nailbiting :Nailbiting :Nailbiting

All weekend, from Friday night, Hooman's been saying "This time next week, we won't be here." And now, even worserer,  she's started saying "This time next week, it'll all be _over_".  Somethin about going to Holly Bob's, who lives in Firsk, apparently. Where ever that is.

I've asked Milly if she's heard of Holly Bob, but she said she wasn't sure.

How do I stop Hooman from taking us to Holly Bob's? :Lurking And does it have anything to do with the new corsett (Hooman says "Harness") that she's been making me wear ever since Saturday, which she says will give me even more "Gender Identity Issues".

Yours Worriedly,

Honey Chi.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena.
> 
> Please help, as I am afraid for my life. Not just mine, but Milly's, too. And maybe even Hooman's. :Nailbiting :Nailbiting :Nailbiting
> 
> ...


Firsly apologies for not replying sooner but mum went out and shut down the pooter thingy, so thoughtless !

I has just been on Holly Bobs ( it's a thing, not a person) Bobby and I went to stay with some other doggies and ladies, it was grand ! But you are lucky cos you is going with your mum and Milly to somewhere nice with different places to esplore and other peeps to make fusses of you and maybe (_ whispers ) even sneak you extra treats !_
Have a great time Honey Chi, send me a postcard and don't worry, your mum wil look after you.Have fun.
Love and licks, Reena.xx


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

Oooh! So Hollybobs is a good fing? :Wideyed :Woot

Fank you! I'll send a postcard! :Woot


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Most Esteemed Comrade Reena

Sweet lady I know how busy you must be carrying all the woes of the doggy world on your delicate shoulders, but I felt I had to once more call on your expertise and wise guidance. Allow me to explain...............

To put it mildly I'm at the end of my leash not only over my hooman's increasing ineptitude but also the way she seems to be intent on humiliating me and my apology of a brother. Were I still in Russia I would have only had to speak to cousin Vlad and he would have quietly banished her to a gulag or even Lubianka .for the abuse of a dog of aristocratic breeding. 

You won;t believe it when I tell you that her latest form of torture is, with the help of a co-conspirator, the black creature and I are made to "train" (for lack of a better word) in a Lidl car-park of ALL places. I've never felt so humiliated in all my life, being paraded in front of every hooman Tom, Dick and Harry. And what is more I heard her on the phone arranging to do it again! 

This has got to stop like tout suite, straight away, immediately if not sooner if I'm going to save my sanity and more important my reputation.

Dear sweet adorable lady please advise me what I should do.

Your devoted servant

Grisha Vlad Putin


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Most Esteemed Comrade Reena
> 
> Sweet lady I know how busy you must be carrying all the woes of the doggy world on your delicate shoulders, but I felt I had to once more call on your expertise and wise guidance. Allow me to explain...............
> 
> ...


Oh dear , my sweet little Grisha !
As I mentioned berore, ladies of a certain age get some strange ideas, you should hear mine !
I've found the best way is to go along with it showing all the fortitiude and dignity you can muster , it is she who will look foolish, not you. Before you know it she will have another crackpot notion particularly if you don't co-operate with this one, the next one could be even worse but I can't see how ( answers on a postcard please )
I hope my Hoomum doesn't see this,it will give her ideas especially as Bobby can be a little unruly at times 
Remember friend -dignity and fortitude!
Love and licks, Reena.xxx


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Magyarmum said:


> Most Esteemed Comrade Reena
> 
> Sweet lady I know how busy you must be carrying all the woes of the doggy world on your delicate shoulders, but I felt I had to once more call on your expertise and wise guidance. Allow me to explain...............
> 
> ...


Dear Grisha.

Yoo finks that's bad? Try having a clumsy oaf of a sister, and an equally clumsy (but slightly less oafish) Hooman.

My Hooman let the Now TV remote slip out of her hands and hit me on the head (remote - Not Hooman). :Hurting :Blackeye

To add insult to injury she then threatens to take me to the animal A&E department. She says she's watching me for percussion (although what moosical instruments have to do with this, I has no ideas), which she says would make me walk funny, like I'd been on the Falling Down Water, eyes in different directions like :Wacky and so on. I has managed to convince her not to by being able to navigate the stairs and jumping off the settee, but Hooman says she'll stay up Just In Case.

(Hooman compels me to say that she quickly scooped me up and apologised again and again, while smothering me in kisses, but I do so only under duress).

Yours, Honey Chi



SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear , my sweet little Grisha !
> As I mentioned berore, ladies of a certain age get some strange ideas, you should hear mine !
> I've found the best way is to go along with it showing all the fortitiude and dignity you can muster , it is she who will look foolish, not you. *Before you know it she will have another crackpot notion particularly if you don't co-operate with this one, the next one could be even worse but I can't see how ( answers on a postcard please )*
> I hope my Hoomum doesn't see this,it will give her ideas especially as Bobby can be a little unruly at times
> ...


Dear Reena.

Does my ordeal, mentioned above, constitute worse than Grisha's? If not, is it at least, just as bad?

Yours Forever,

Honey Chi.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Grisha.
> 
> Yoo finks that's bad? Try having a clumsy oaf of a sister, and an equally clumsy (but slightly less oafish) Hooman.
> 
> ...


I would say possibly worse if you has actual INJURY ! You poor little fing, you must come and live with me and Bobby where you will be safe! Meanwhile practise those reproachful stares and eyerolling, walking round in circles and lots of wee-wees on the carpet. Could you manage to throw up do you think, that always gets them worried?
We will come and fetch you tomorrow.
I hopes you is OK, hold on till tomorrow !
Love and licks, Reena.xx


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> I would say possibly worse if you has actual INJURY ! You poor little fing, you must come and live with me and Bobby where you will be safe! Meanwhile practise those reproachful stares and eyerolling, walking round in circles and lots of wee-wees on the carpet. Could you manage to throw up do you think, that always gets them worried?
> We will come and fetch you tomorrow.
> I hopes you is OK, hold on till tomorrow !
> Love and licks, Reena.xx


Ooh! Fank yoo.

Hooman says she finks I'll live, but I is not so sure as I has a mahoosive headache. :Hungover

Wee wees on the carpet? I did that _before_ the remote control incident.  But I finks I got away with that, because it was so close to the water bowl that Hooman couldn't be sure. :Smug She got the steam mop out anyway though. Just In Case.

I keeps yoo informed.

Love and licks,

Honey.


----------



## JoanneF (Feb 1, 2016)

Deer Reena

I has been kept in a tin box for weeks. Hoomum calls it a motorhome but I know what home is, the garden there is the same every day but in the motorhome I goes to sleep sometimes and wake up with a new garden. And sometimes the new garden is scary - for ages it was in Germy so I thought I might get sick. But I didn't. Then we went to some places i know in France and that was ok because I know where the nice walks are. Hooman says home tomorrow but I don't know if that's real home or not.

I think hoomum is bad, making me live in tin box but she says she would get separation anxiety if she left me behind. What should I do?

Love and licks, Timber.


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena,

I has survived the night. Hooman says I might have a hang over? Whatever it is, I has made my Hooman know how sore is by burying my head in her dressing gown. . .


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

JoanneF said:


> Deer Reena
> 
> I has been kept in a tin box for weeks. Hoomum calls it a motorhome but I know what home is, the garden there is the same every day but in the motorhome I goes to sleep sometimes and wake up with a new garden. And sometimes the new garden is scary - for ages it was in Germy so I thought I might get sick. But I didn't. Then we went to some places i know in France and that was ok because I know where the nice walks are. Hooman says home tomorrow but I don't know if that's real home or not.
> 
> ...


Oh , Timber, you sound confuddled and bewilded ! Living in a tin box sounds horrid, I hope they get you out for wees and poos ?
It sounds as though they take you to some nice esploring places with lots of new sniffy smells so not all bad ?
I think you have to think that this is your hooman's strange little quirk, she might leave you with someone else if she thought you were really upset by the tin box. Would you like that better ?
When your hooman says 'home tomorrow' I suspect she means your real home, where your bd and toys and favourite stinky blankets are.
Perhaps you could write some stories about your adventures for us ?
Love and licks, Reena.xxx



LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena,
> 
> I has survived the night. Hooman says I might have a hang over? Whatever it is, I has made my Hooman know how sore is by burying my head in her dressing gown. . .
> View attachment 418915


Oh, poor Honey, I hope your poorly sore head soon feels better and your Hooman is obeying every whim to make up for her clumsiness ! If you want toast,biscuits, cuddles and chews you absolutely deserve it. 
Remember you can come live with us if you feel in danger, Bobby and I will come fetch you, just say.
Love and licks, Reena.xxxx


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

Dear Reena

Female hooman fell off snack maker on Sunday, male hooman is making big fusses and is talking about no more time with snack makers.

I'm scared that my horse poop snack dispenser time will be cut down. Female hooman is just as annoyed with male hooman as I am. How can we get him to shut up and leave us in peace to spend time with snack makers? 

Woofs and licks

Chester


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Maria_1986 said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> Female hooman fell off snack maker on Sunday, male hooman is making big fusses and is talking about no more time with snack makers.
> 
> ...


Oh Chester, I hope female Hooman is not too badly hurt !
I don't think male Hooman is considering the availability of horsey snacks _at all_ , he's obviously not aware of such culinary deliciousness.
You will just have to be very patient and help your femaly hooman get better quickly and hope horsey snack time is restored. Any other option is unthinkable !:Arghh
Let me know what happens , I might be able to send you some in a plain brown envelope !
Love and licks,Reena.xx


----------



## JoanneF (Feb 1, 2016)

SusieRainbow said:


> she might leave you with someone else if she thought you were really upset by the tin box. Would you like that better ?


Oh no, I couldn't let her go on her own - her separation anxiety is too severe.



SusieRainbow said:


> Perhaps you could write some stories about your adventures for us ?


There may be some pictures of me that I can share


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena

Hooman goes to something called work and often comes home with toys so we likes when she goes. Only problem is she gets us up so early for walk before work we are exhausted!

Is there any way hooman can go work a bit later? It was dark when we went out this morning she make Sox wear a collar of lights he looked a right wally. I wouldn't wear my lights no chance hooman.

Love

Tired Boxers


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh, poor Honey, I hope your poorly sore head soon feels better and your Hooman is obeying every whim to make up for her clumsiness ! If you want toast,biscuits, cuddles and chews you absolutely deserve it.
> Remember you can come live with us if you feel in danger, Bobby and I will come fetch you, just say.
> Love and licks, Reena.xxxx


Fank you, Dear Reena.

I nicked Hooman's biscuit to make her know how displeased I was, and has slapped her across the chin a couple times, when she pays attention to the handheld pooter instead of me.










Do I look percussed to you? Hooman says I is fine cos I is acting normally (tell in other dogs off, do in sniffs and making sure other dogs know I is more important than Milly by scent mark in over hers.



Boxer123 said:


> View attachment 418919
> View attachment 418920
> Dear Reena
> 
> ...


Dear Tired Boxers,

Milly and Honey's Hooman here. It's a good job I didn't have a mouthful of coffee when I read that, or else it would've been all over my tablet. :Hilarious :Hilarious


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> View attachment 418919
> View attachment 418920
> Dear Reena
> 
> ...


Oh,you poor boys !
Does it matter if you is exhausted, looks like you have very comfy spots for Zzzzzzzs in your house and no-one to disturb you !
Please can we have a picture of Sox in his collar ? 
Sleep tight boys.

Love and licks, Reena.xxx


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Here is picture as I said 'wally' I runs away when hooman gots it out.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> View attachment 418926
> Here is picture as I said 'wally' I runs away when hooman gots it out.


Hmmm, see what you mean Loki ! I will ask my Hoomum to get one like that for Bobby, I has a very pretty pink one as befits my status.


----------



## DanWalkersmum (Mar 21, 2019)

Boxer123 said:


> View attachment 418926
> Here is picture as I said 'wally' I runs away when hooman gots it out.


Brilliant! Love it!


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

DanWalkersmum said:


> Brilliant! Love it!


I'm trying to get him to wear his Christmas tree lights or I can't see where we are going.


----------



## DanWalkersmum (Mar 21, 2019)

Boxer123 said:


> I'm trying to get him to wear his Christmas tree lights or I can't see where we are going.


Have you seen the headlamps in the diy stores, my hubby has one for the loft foraging? Perhaps if hoomum gets one then Loki no need one?


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

DanWalkersmum said:


> Have you seen the headlamps in the diy stores, my hubby has one for the loft foraging? Perhaps if hoomum gets one then Loki no need one?


Hooman got one last year for ultra marathon but boxers found it most unsettling convinced it would eat hoomans head. We barked and barked until hooman put it away. We boxers think dark is better can't chase squirrel if dressed up like Blackpool tower.


----------



## DanWalkersmum (Mar 21, 2019)

Boxer123 said:


> Hooman got one last year for ultra marathon but boxers found it most unsettling convinced it would eat hoomans head. We barked and barked until hooman put it away. We boxers think dark is better can't chase squirrel if dressed up like Blackpool tower.


ha ha ha ha ha ha Blackpool Tower indeed! p.s. so squirrels come out in the dark?


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

DanWalkersmum said:


> ha ha ha ha ha ha Blackpool Tower indeed! p.s. so squirrels come out in the dark?


Squirrel always out taunting boxers.


----------



## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Dear Loki, @Boxer123

Mummy made me look a wally on Sunday night. I kept shaking my head lots and not walking properly. Mummy took the lights off my neck. She said I didn't have to wear it again....

Then I found some interesting smells in some bushes and Mummy said and this is why I should be lit up like a Christmas Tree. I was stood next to her; the best game of hide and seek ever.

Then she shined this bright light from her phone at me.. I didn't like that but Mummy gave me treats and said something about she didn't bring a torch because I had my collar.

I haven't worn the collar since but mum takes I think a big pizzle out on walks. It is as big as a pizzle but doesn't smell like one

Love Harley


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

lullabydream said:


> Dear Loki, @Boxer123
> 
> Mummy made me look a wally on Sunday night. I kept shaking my head lots and not walking properly. Mummy took the lights off my neck. She said I didn't have to wear it again....
> 
> ...


This is good idea to shake head. It is fun to hide from hooman right next to her makes them call your name and flap.


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Boxer123 said:


> Hooman got one last year for ultra marathon but boxers found it most unsettling convinced it would eat hoomans head. We barked and barked until hooman put it away. We boxers think dark is better can't chase squirrel if dressed up like Blackpool tower.


:Hilarious :Hilarious

Dear Reena.

I finks I stay with Hooman now. She has a sore toofy-peg in her mouf.

Didn't stop her playing with Milly earlier, but she did tell Milly to be gentle. I is sitting on her knee, trying to pin her down.

Luffs and Licks,

Honey Chi.


----------



## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Dear Reena and Loki, 

Mummy was just talking about my collar... Its not even a collar, it's an armband for Human

Does this need reporting to the dog people I have seen on television?

Yours Harley


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

lullabydream said:


> Dear Reena and Loki,
> 
> Mummy was just talking about my collar... Its not even a collar, it's an armband for Human
> 
> ...





lullabydream said:


> I haven't worn the collar since but mum takes I think a big pizzle out on walks. It is as big as a pizzle but doesn't smell like one


When you is tiny it sounds good idea to use armband for lighty up collar.
And I have never seen a pizzle with light coming out of it !




LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena.
> 
> I finks I stay with Hooman now. She has a sore toofy-peg in her mouf.
> 
> ...


Good that you stay with your Hooman,she needs lookin after I think.Imight come to you for tips tomorrow if my hooman needs lookin after.



lullabydream said:


> Dear Reena and Loki,
> 
> Mummy was just talking about my collar... Its not even a collar, it's an armband for Human
> 
> ...


----------



## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Dear Reena, 

When I errr borrowed the 'pizzle' off my mum and ran in my crate it was nice and chewy like a pizzle.

I did not chew it for long Mummy gave me a sock, I love socks.

Love Harley


----------



## DanWalkersmum (Mar 21, 2019)

I can get daddy hooman to do anything!


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh Chester, I hope female Hooman is not too badly hurt !
> I don't think male Hooman is considering the availability of horsey snacks _at all_ , he's obviously not aware of such culinary deliciousness.
> You will just have to be very patient and help your femaly hooman get better quickly and hope horsey snack time is restored. Any other option is unthinkable !:Arghh
> Let me know what happens , I might be able to send you some in a plain brown envelope !
> Love and licks,Reena.xx


Thank you Reena, you are very kind. Female hooman is fine, she landed on her (very well padded) bottom and is just a bit bruised.

Female hooman made male hooman go see treat dispensers with her yesterday, something about if he was going to treat her like an invalid then he could at least make himself useful, don't really care what his reasons were but he is now happy for us to be on the ground with treat dispensers. I even got to go for a nice walk with the little one yesterday 









Female hooman says foot man is coming again soon so I should get more yummy treats to snuffle out to make up for the worry male hooman has caused.

Love from a very relieved

Chester


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena,

My Hooman says you may have been worry in about me and my sore head.

I is fine now, fank yoo. My head is much better. Hooman says a few brain cells might have been damaged, but she's not convinced that was because of the accident. The cheek!  :Hilarious

Luffs and Licks,

Honey Chi.


Dear Reena,

I is being neglected. First, Hooman had a lie in, so we was late for our walkies. Honey is partially to blame cos she also didn't want to get out of bed and Hooman just shrugged and said if Honey didn't want to get up, she'd have her coffee first. 

(Hooman forces me to point out that I wasn't in a particular hurry to go out, either :Eggonface :Muted)

This has meant we has been late for everything allllll day! Foodies was late, 2nd walkies was late - and I hasn't even had my special joint support chew yet. :Grumpy :Jawdrop

I thinks I need a noo Hooman. What do yoo finks?

Luffs and Licks,

Milly.

P.S., Hooman mutters under her breath "#1stworlddogproblems"


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena

Today is little pupper birthday so hooman make us go on extra long walk then tell me to play with Loki which I don't like. Is there anyway I can haves a duvet day maybe pretend limp ?

Your 
Sox


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear , my sweet little Grisha !
> As I mentioned berore, ladies of a certain age get some strange ideas, you should hear mine !
> I've found the best way is to go along with it showing all the fortitiude and dignity you can muster , it is she who will look foolish, not you. Before you know it she will have another crackpot notion particularly if you don't co-operate with this one, the next one could be even worse but I can't see how ( answers on a postcard please )
> I hope my Hoomum doesn't see this,it will give her ideas especially as Bobby can be a little unruly at times
> ...


Dearest Reena the Great

I do believe someone must have had a quiet word with my incompetent hooman and her partner in crime because on Tuesday, although we did meet at Lidl we then repaired to a very up market shopping mall which is much more suited to a dog of my noble breeding even though it's not quite what I was used to in my previous life. Let's face it when you've been used to doing your food shopping at Harrods, Lidl's a bit of a let down!

I now need advice on anther problem which came up on Tuesday at the veterinary surgery where my apology for a brother needed to be jabbed for Rabies. I have a feeling though it was just a ruse to get me there and lull me into a false sense of security by being clutched to the boobs of a lady vet. I heard her and my dippy hooman discussing replacing my precious Russian passport for an Hungarian one.

Dear lady please advise me .... I don't want to be a Hungarian because I'm a Russian and nephew of Vlad who's a VIP in the country. I hesitate to ask him for help 'cos I know he'd send in his heavies to sort out my hooman and for all her faults I don't think it's a nice thing to do is it?

A desperate Grisha Vlad Putin


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Dearest Reena the Great
> 
> I do believe someone must have had a quiet word with my incompetent hooman and her partner in crime because on Tuesday, although we did meet at Lidl we then repaired to a very up market shopping mall which is much more suited to a dog of my noble breeding even though it's not quite what I was used to in my previous life. Let's face it when you've been used to doing your food shopping at Harrods, Lidl's a bit of a let down!
> 
> ...


My darling boy, no number of Passports or papers or documents will ever stop you being Grisha the Russian Aristocrat, how could it ??
It will just make it easy for your 'dippy hooman' , and lets face it, she needs all the help she can get ! - to take you on Hollibobs with her. You will probably be allowed to keep your Russian Passport too, but you mustn't eat it !
I hope that makes you feel a bit better. When you has Hungarian Passport you can come and see me, you will like Bobby becoz he always hungary too !

Love and licks, Reena.xxx


----------



## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Dear Reena,

My mummy keeps calling me a mountain goat. I thought I was a dog!
This is my most recent picture of me









Can you please solve the problem am I a mountain goat or a dog?

Yours Harley


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

lullabydream said:


> Dear Reena,
> 
> My mummy keeps calling me a mountain goat. I thought I was a dog!
> This is my most recent picture of me
> ...


She's so cute


----------



## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> She's so cute


Thank you! We are rather taken with her and she's still quite small!


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

lullabydream said:


> Thank you! We are rather taken with her and she's still quite small!


Chi's are definitely on my list to own.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

lullabydream said:


> Dear Reena,
> 
> My mummy keeps calling me a mountain goat. I thought I was a dog!
> This is my most recent picture of me
> ...


You deffo looks like a very cute little doggo to me ! Perhaps your mummy is referring to your agility ? Do you love to climb and jump about ? 
You are adorable , between you and Honey you've made me long for a little Chi sister instead of my clumsy oaf brother !


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Deer Awnty Reena

I iz evasa unappy n fink Iz goin ta runawai coz my hooman dont luz me.

Can Iz cum n livz wif u pleez?

Itz all dat wite fingz folt coz e dont no how to walk proper n dat traina bloke sez to hooman wen shez walkin uz boof ta ignor da blak wun ............. .MEEEEEEEEEEE .......... cuz Iz'll do wateva da wite fing duz! Wot a cheeeek!

Zo da traina blok walkz uz boff but onli torkin to da wite fing n givin him treets .......... n MEEE nufffin, nut eaven a gudz boi! 

S'not fair, Iz onli gotz ickle leggiz n de waz walikin fazta dan me n Iz ad no chanz ta snif or zend me peemale

Not shur bout ur hoomanz but Iz doez no yuz n Bobbyz got ickle leggiez like me zo izit alrite if Iz cum n livz at ur ouse?

A veri unappy small blak airy kreatur 

Gwylim


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Deer Awnty Reena
> 
> I iz evasa unappy n fink Iz goin ta runawai coz my hooman dont luz me.
> 
> ...


Oh dear, my poor little man !
We would LOVE you to come and live with us, we could have a wonderful time and be like bestest bestest fwends !
But I think you need to make your feelings known, remember what I said to Grisha about Dignity and Fortitude ? 
If you carry on quietly and behaving nicely Grisha will have a super Role Model ( no, I don't mean rolling in stinky stuff ! )
Who knows what would become of your Hooman and Grisha if you weren't there ??? I think she has her hands full with him !
Perhaps your human should pay you a bit more attention and share out the treatzes ? Does she take you for a special sniffy peemail walk by yourself ? That would make you feel better wouldn't it? Drop some hints like sitting nicely in front of her with your lead, she won't b able to resist you - I know I couldn't and neither could my Hooman !

Please contact me again if you need more help, if all else fails we will come fetch you - that will show her !

Love, hugs and licks, Reena.xxx


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

Dear Reena

I am, apparently, a 'very lucky boy' to have so many toys and balls. Female hooman says that the ones I don't really play with much are going to be donated to unloved doggies to clear out some space in my toy box(es). I love all my toys even though sometimes I accidentally tear them up but some are much better than others (like blue Kong wubba is so much better than red Kong wubba) but this favouritism for certain toys is why some can be donated according to hooman.

What's donated? 

Wags and lick
Chester


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Maria_1986 said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> I am, apparently, a 'very lucky boy' to have so many toys and balls. Female hooman says that the ones I don't really play with much are going to be donated to unloved doggies to clear out some space in my toy box(es). I love all my toys even though sometimes I accidentally tear them up but some are much better than others (like blue Kong wubba is so much better than red Kong wubba) but this favouritism for certain toys is why some can be donated according to hooman.
> 
> ...


Hello Chester, I will have to get back to you later, just about to my afternoon snooze.
zzzzzzzzzzz.
Love, Reena.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Maria_1986 said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> I am, apparently, a 'very lucky boy' to have so many toys and balls. Female hooman says that the ones I don't really play with much are going to be donated to unloved doggies to clear out some space in my toy box(es). I love all my toys even though sometimes I accidentally tear them up but some are much better than others (like blue Kong wubba is so much better than red Kong wubba) but this favouritism for certain toys is why some can be donated according to hooman.
> 
> ...


I has had a nice long snooze while Hooman went out, , then she gave us yummy dinner and I needed another snooze on her lap, with Booby too, to digest my yummy dinner !
Donating is giving things or money to people or doggies who need them. It would be a very kind thing to give some of your toys to less fortunate doggies , and it would make room for some new toys when Santa Paws comes ! ( i hope you're on the nice list, not the naughty one )
Apparently some poor doggies don't have a home , so no yummy dinners , cuddly hoomans or warm fires and beds , how sad is that ?
Love and licks, Reena.xx


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> I has had a nice long snooze while Hooman went out, , then she gave us yummy dinner and I needed another snooze on her lap, with Booby too, to digest my yummy dinner !
> Donating is giving things or money to people or doggies who need them. It would be a very kind thing to give some of your toys to less fortunate doggies , and it would make room for some new toys when Santa Paws comes ! ( i hope you're on the nice list, not the naughty one )
> Apparently some poor doggies don't have a home , so no yummy dinners , cuddly hoomans or warm fires and beds , how sad is that ?
> Love and licks, Reena.xx


Hi Reena

Hope you enjoyed your snooze. Yummy dinner sounds good, I have had first dinner but I'm still waiting for second dinner. Apparently I'm too skinny so get an extra dinner at bed time for a while.

I like the sound of donating, I got toys to play with when I didn't have a home and lived in a kennel, they must have been donated too.

Yes hooman said it was to make space for santa paws to come. Hooman keeps muttering something about my being on the naughty list for life but too cute to stay there so Christmas isn't cancelled for me yet.

What should I ask santa paws for do you think? Apparently asking to be allowed to raid the recycling for plastic bottles isn't something that he can deliver but that's what I want most

Wags and licks

Chester


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Maria_1986 said:


> Hi Reena
> 
> Hope you enjoyed your snooze. Yummy dinner sounds good, I have had first dinner but I'm still waiting for second dinner. Apparently I'm too skinny so get an extra dinner at bed time for a while.
> 
> ...


I have put this on my Santa Paws list,though it might be a bit scary ( I'm quite easily scared) . It looks right up your street !
And maybe a box of plastic bottles ! I bet you make lots of noise with them.
PS, lucky you getting *2* yummy dinners ! My hooman keeps muttering about no more treatses because she think me a little bit chubby ! Rude !


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena today has been a sad day. I do my best sits and hooman would not share her dinner? What more can I do? Am I losing my cuteness?


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> View attachment 420228
> Dear Reena today has been a sad day. I do my best sits and hooman would not share her dinner? What more can I do? Am I losing my cuteness?


That is a very beautiful sit and sad puppy dog eyes !
Maybe your hooman was very extra hungry and couldn't spare any of her dinner,did you offer to share your dinner with her or did you nom it all up ?
You are still very cute but sometimes hungry hoomans forget their manners.
Love and licks, Reena.xxxx


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

SusieRainbow said:


> That is a very beautiful sit and sad puppy dog eyes !
> Maybe your hooman was very extra hungry and couldn't spare any of her dinner,did you offer to share your dinner with her or did you nom it all up ?
> You are still very cute but sometimes hungry hoomans forget their manners.
> Love and licks, Reena.xxxx


Thank you Reena I worries I was not so cute anymore Sox says if I wasn't cute hooman would send me away. Of course I nom my food up hooman says it is not nice but I love my meat.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Dear Reena, Bobby here.
My hoomans have made me wear this thing, so embarrassing! Is becoz I wees on things but sometime us boys HAS to wee on things, is our duty! And I heard them talking about an operation!

What shall I do??


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

SusieRainbow said:


> View attachment 420860
> Dear Reena, Bobby here.
> My hoomans have made me wear this thing, so embarrassing! Is becoz I wees on things but sometime us boys HAS to wee on things, is our duty! And I heard them talking about an operation!
> 
> What shall I do??


We boxers thinks you look cute Bobby. Hoomans don't really understand pee mail.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

We boy dogz must stick togefer¬

It's one fur all 'n all fur one.

I sez we starts a rebellion ta save our pee mail

I finks on Sataday wez all meetz up n marches ta dat place called parlamant or summat like wot all dem extinshun hoomanz duz!

Weez wif ya Bobby!


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> We boy dogz must stick togefer¬
> 
> It's one fur all 'n all fur one.
> 
> ...


Oh, Fank you ! I don't want operation !


----------



## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Dear Bobbie, 

Stan here it doesn't matter if you have the operation or not. According to my Mummy, I have had the operation and she says I still have bigger balls than my Daddy... Plus I still love pee mail lots and lots. Eevee finds the most interesting bits and never seems to move and mummy says I pee on her head more than the mail, but I am sure she's wrong!

Love Stan


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

SusieRainbow said:


> View attachment 420860
> Dear Reena, Bobby here.
> My hoomans have made me wear this thing, so embarrassing! Is becoz I wees on things but sometime us boys HAS to wee on things, is our duty! And I heard them talking about an operation!
> 
> What shall I do??


If I thought the operation would stop Bobby weeing on my head I would do the operation myself with my teef ! The boy is a mennis !Sometimes the hoomans even blame me for weewees in the house.
Enough is enough!
Reena.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Deer Awntee Reena

*Help!*

Pleez kum n reskew us! Wez bin abbandiined by owr oooman! Hur telzuz to sitz n weghtz n den er dizapeerz inta shop. N weez stil weightin!

Da supamerket namz Lidel oor sumat lyk dat n itzin Ungary. Pleez urry coz weez getin ungry!

Too kold Sshnawzaboyz.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Deer Awntee Reena
> 
> *Help!*
> 
> ...


Hello darling boys .
hopefully you have been rescued by now either by your hooman or some rescue peoples. I think you looked very very brave sitting there waiting !
What was your hooman thinking even ! ???
call if you need me and Bobby and I will rush to your aid.
Love and licks, Reena.xxx


----------



## Allybean11 (Nov 12, 2017)

Deer Reena,
Hoomans say we be moving soon. I will miss my bestest friend who I meet most mornings on my excitings mornings walks. Will I never see her again? I only like my bestest friend. I'm grumpy with other dogs cos i is a grown up dog now and my friends are my friends! Will I make no more friends and will I ever see my bestest friend again?


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Allybean11 said:


> View attachment 423404
> Deer Reena,
> Hoomans say we be moving soon. I will miss my bestest friend who I meet most mornings on my excitings mornings walks. Will I never see her again? I only like my bestest friend. I'm grumpy with other dogs cos i is a grown up dog now and my friends are my friends! Will I make no more friends and will I ever see my bestest friend again?


Aww, your friend looks lovely ! Are you moving very far away ? Maybe your hooman could help you to woof-message her on Skype or Whatsapp? Or you could visit each other?
It will be an exciting adventure going for walkies in new places, you must come and tell us all about it!
Love and licks, Reena.xx


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Bobby,

I is a girly dog, and I has heard my Hooman start to talk about operation too, so it is not just boy dogs. :Grumpy

Honey.

Dear Reena,

Hooman has started to act very strangely lately. Last Fursday she went to that place she calls work, said she was looking forward to a night of cuddles wif me and Milly, came home, went to bed, then, a couple hours later, dropped us off at Uncle Hooman's. From 8pm on Fursday, we didn't see her again until 10am Friday. She called it a "night shift"! She was very tired, so we snuggles up wif her? 2 hours later, she was wired! :Wideyed And for the rest of the day she hardly sat still. :Wideyed. 

Then, on Saturday, Uncle Hooman came and picked us up. This time, Hooman came home at 8:00pm (we was home by then), from somefing she called a "day shift".

What's even worserer, is she started to throw out little fings around the house. I didn't fink anyfing of that at first, but yesterday, she took down Milly's crate! I sleeps in Milly's crate! :Grumpy

I wonders if she has got a fancy Hooman, although she vigorously denies it, enguin and is slowly replacing us. Please advise?

Loves and Licks,

Honey Chi.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Bobby,
> 
> I is a girly dog, and I has heard my Hooman start to talk about operation too, so it is not just boy dogs. :Grumpy
> 
> ...


ah Honey, Hoomans can be very hard to understand, who knows what goes on in their little minds ! All I can suggest is that you watch and wait , see what happens next, and be extra good and nice. I know changes can be very unsettling but they aren't always bad.
Let us know what happens.
Love and licks, Reena.xxx


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> ah Honey, Hoomans can be very hard to understand, who knows what goes on in their little minds ! All I can suggest is that you watch and wait , see what happens next, and be *extra good and nice*. I know changes can be very unsettling but they aren't always bad.
> Let us know what happens.
> Love and licks, Reena.xxx


Dear Reena,

 :Shy 

Love and Licks,

Honey.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Hello darling boys .
> hopefully you have been rescued by now either by your hooman or some rescue peoples. I think you looked very very brave sitting there waiting !
> What was your hooman thinking even ! ???
> call if you need me and Bobby and I will rush to your aid.
> Love and licks, Reena.xxx


Esteemed Reena,

I wish to inform you dear lady, that our errant human eventually collected us from outside the supermarket.

So frightfully embarrassing for someone of my noble class to have to sit outside anything less than Harrods or an exclusive boutique on the Rue Saint Honore!

I'm trying to persuade her to move to Budapest where at least I'll mix with canines of a similar class to me who understand my need for the finer things in life!

Your most ardent admirer

Grisha Potemkin Rimsky-Korsakov Putin


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Esteemed Reena,
> 
> I wish to inform you dear lady, that our errant human eventually collected us from outside the supermarket.
> 
> ...


My dear Grisha, I'm so pleased to hear that your humilation is resolved. To be honest I don't think your human truly recognises your aristocratic status.
How is your persuasion to move to a more suitable environment going ?
I think you have to give your human credit for effort, she does her best I'm sure but it must be difficult for her to reach your high expectations.
Love and licky kisses, Reena.


----------



## Rosie64 (Feb 27, 2014)

Dear Reena I not wrote to yous befores but I is hopesing you can tell me whats to do, caus Is don no wats I done wrong.
I luffs my human mum very much but I donts fink she luffs me any more cause she keeps taking me to the vets place and leefing me there 
and they makes me lays still for a long long times and they sticks big long sharp things in me and makes me keeps them in me all that times.
Its not hurts when they stick the sharp things in but I is scared when mum leefs me alone wiv the strange vet peoples. I am mostly good and do 
as I is told so why does she keeps leefing me there she knows I scared of the vets place . Whats can I do to stops her leefing me there and 
makes her luffs me again.
I hopes you can help me 
Licks ,Chip


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Rosie64 said:


> Dear Reena I not wrote to yous befores but I is hopesing you can tell me whats to do, caus Is don no wats I done wrong.
> I luffs my human mum very much but I donts fink she luffs me any more cause she keeps taking me to the vets place and leefing me there
> and they makes me lays still for a long long times and they sticks big long sharp things in me and makes me keeps them in me all that times.
> Its not hurts when they stick the sharp things in but I is scared when mum leefs me alone wiv the strange vet peoples. I am mostly good and do
> ...


Oh dear, poor Chip, that sounds scary and not very nice ! 
I think the sharp pricky things are to make you feel better with your aches and pains , I think called accy puncher or something like that. Show her this reply and ask her to esplain. 
I can tell you now,your mum loves you a very very lot, nearly as much as my mum luffs me ! 
You don't need to be scared of the vets place, they just want to make you all better again like a puppy ! I got lots of cuddles when I had my teef done , I nearly didn't want to go home ! ( but don't tell my mum )
You must be a brave boy and stay there, the pricky things will help I'm sure. I bet you get cuddles and treats afterwards !
Love and licky kisses,Reena.xxxx


----------



## Sandysmum (Sep 18, 2010)

Deer Reena,
I is not a pea, insted of aving 2 nice big meals, they as startid givin me 4 little ones. They say it's the same amount of food, but jus splitted up coz they say I is greedy an eats so fast it makes me ick it all up. now, i didn't ave a problim wiv that coz i jus eated the ick up fore they cud gets to it. rNow wot I need advice bout is this, is they doin the rite fing, or is they jus tryin to starve me, coz it don't seem like the same amount of food?

Fankoo, Jet.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

jetsmum said:


> Deer Reena,
> I is not a pea, insted of aving 2 nice big meals, they as startid givin me 4 little ones. They say it's the same amount of food, but jus splitted up coz they say I is greedy an eats so fast it makes me ick it all up. now, i didn't ave a problim wiv that coz i jus eated the ick up fore they cud gets to it. rNow wot I need advice bout is this, is they doin the rite fing, or is they jus tryin to starve me, coz it don't seem like the same amount of food?
> 
> Fankoo, Jet.


Oh dear Jet, I don't think your hoomans would starve you , I think you are very lucky getting to nom 4x a day ! Being ick is not good for your tummy,it can make it sore.
I personally think they are tring to elp you in their own little way, humour them for a bit but give them lots of RSPCA starving puppy dog eyes to make them feel bad. 
Oh, and I wouldn't eat your ick if I was you, it seems to upset hoomans like eating yummy cat poo.


----------



## JoanneF (Feb 1, 2016)

Deer Reena.

I am vewwy, vewwy worried. My hoomum put on the clothes she doesn't take me for walks in, and smelly stuff with an extraordinary accord of rare and precious flowers, including Jasmine, Violet and Sandalwood (she says). She said hooman is in charge becos she is going to see old school chum. I thinks she is going to make me go to school. I don't want to go to school becos I don't think I will be very good at it. The other dogs will laff becos I can't count and write. And I'm NINE so the other pups will laff at that too becos I'm so old for being new in school. What will I do?

Love and licks from Timber.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

JoanneF said:


> Deer Reena.
> 
> I am vewwy, vewwy worried. My hoomum put on the clothes she doesn't take me for walks in, and smelly stuff with an extraordinary accord of rare and precious flowers, including Jasmine, Violet and Sandalwood (she says). She said hooman is in charge becos she is going to see old school chum. I thinks she is going to make me go to school. I don't want to go to school becos I don't think I will be very good at it. The other dogs will laff becos I can't count and write. And I'm NINE so the other pups will laff at that too becos I'm so old for being new in school. What will I do?
> 
> Love and licks from Timber.


Oh dear, Timber, I think you have the wrong end of the stick ! Doggies don't go to school like hoomans for fancy reading and stuff ! I bet you can count though to be sure you get all your noms ! That's what's imporkant really. 
9 is a lovely age to be, same as me ! Don't worry my friend , all will be OK.
Licky kisses, Reena.xx


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Most Graceful Lady Reena

It is with a heavy heart I'm writing once more for your wise advice about a problem I having with my dysfunctional human.

This morning the ancient one announced that from next Sunday, under no circumstances will I be allowed on the sofa How dare she! 

Where am I supposed to sit and chew my bone, or have my afternoon snooze? Apparently this sudden change of rules is because an offspring of her offspring will be coming to visit and will need to sit and sleep on MY sofa.

Why on earth can't she sit and sleep on the floor as I'm now condemned to do?, After all breeding counts and she can't possibly be as well bred as I am!

Dear madam please advise me what to do, I was thinking of barking at her to register my displeasure

Your ardent admirer

Count Grisha Potemkin Rimsky-Korsakov Putin KGB


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Most Graceful Lady Reena
> 
> It is with a heavy heart I'm writing once more for your wise advice about a problem I having with my dysfunctional human.
> 
> ...


Dearest Grisha, Ifind it hard to believe that your owner has not provided you with your very own bed ! If not you must show her this reply and demand that she does so forthwith - a woof of your social standing cannot be expected to sleep on the floor ! Your own bed would surely be preferable to the sofa where grubby humans have sat and now propose to sleep.
I advise against barking at her , it will just wind her up. Just make it very clear, by showing her pictures, and how uncomfortable you are on the floor, that you need a new bed of your very own , no hoomans allowed !
Licky love, Reena.xx


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Dearest Grisha, Ifind it hard to believe that your owner has not provided you with your very own bed ! If not you must show her this reply and demand that she does so forthwith - a woof of your social standing cannot be expected to sleep on the floor ! Your own bed would surely be preferable to the sofa where grubby humans have sat and now propose to sleep.
> I advise against barking at her , it will just wind her up. Just make it very clear, by showing her pictures, and how uncomfortable you are on the floor, that you need a new bed of your very own , no hoomans allowed !
> Licky love, Reena.xx


Gracious Lady.

Thank you for your prompt reply which was gratefully received.

I do have my own bedroom and bed which unfortunately I'm forced to share with my decrepit human and her skinny sidekick. My problem is the sofa is in the living room and I need to be in there during the day to monitor the ancient one as IMO she does silly things (like staring for hours at a brightly lit screen thing) and it's often a case of saving her from herself. If I took my bone or had a snooze in another room, heaven knows what would happen to her in my absence!

I've tried my best but quite honestly this is all becoming too much for me.

Perhaps I should speak to the offspring of the offspring or ask Uncle Vlad to send someone to carry her (and the hairy one) off to a gulag.

What do you think?

In despair

Count Grisha Potemkin Rimsky-Korsakov Putin KGB


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Gracious Lady.
> 
> Thank you for your prompt reply which was gratefully received.
> 
> ...


That doesn't sound very satisfactory , for who would provide the delicacies to tempt your palate ?
No, I would request a 'Day Bed',complete with red velvet cushion upon which to recline graciously.We have these at our kennels with heat lamps over them , most elegant and luxurious. Then you could keep your human under constant surveillance .
I would repeat my offer to bring you over here to live with me but I fear my human is of a similar state to yours, and pretty decrepit to boot. Tonight she insisted we both be submerged in warm soapy water and _washed _! The standards here would surely fall short of your standards Grisha, we are simple wuffs with mediocre living conditions apart from when we go the Kennels.
Yours sadly, Reena.xx


----------



## Sandysmum (Sep 18, 2010)

Deer Reena, I is very confoosed. I always fort kissmiss was Desemba 25, but we did ave kissmiss dinna last Sunday. All the famlee did come round even the lickle hooman who did giff me lots of cuddils, an they did ave the biggest meal eva. And sum did giff each uver presunts, an sum didn't. As kissmiss bin moved or sumfin????

Fankoo Jet.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

jetsmum said:


> Deer Reena, I is very confoosed. I always fort kissmiss was Desemba 25, but we did ave kissmiss dinna last Sunday. All the famlee did come round even the lickle hooman who did giff me lots of cuddils, an they did ave the biggest meal eva. And sum did giff each uver presunts, an sum didn't. As kissmiss bin moved or sumfin????
> 
> Fankoo Jet.


well Jet, I hope the greedy hoomans gave you a taste of their dinner ! And presents! 
Sometimes hoomans do funny things like move parties around and pretend it's Christmas when it's not . It can be difficult to get every hooman in the same place on Kissmass Day so they have it early .
My hoomans are having 2 I believe, one here and another one with my hooman bruvver and their grand-pup just after. Which means me and Bobby have to go in Kennels, Not happy !
Licky love dear Jet.xxx


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Most Admirable Lady Reena

Please help! 

I'm head over heels in love and don't know what to do!

It all started the moment I set eyes on her, the offspring of my ancient hoomans offspring. She's divine and although she hasn't said so I think she feels the same as I do.

I'm in a dilemma because the object of my adoration is only here until just after Christmas. 

Should I persuade her to stay and risk the ancient one's displeasure (she's already jealous of the attention I'm paying my loved one) ?

Or, should I elope to the UK with her? 

Unfortunately as I'm an impoverished gentleman canine I can't afford the airfare and would have to hide in her hand luggage.

Is it worth the risk of being detected and placed in quarantine?

Your valuable advice as always dear lady would be much appreciated

Your faithful servant

Grisha Potemkin-Rimsky-Korsakov-Putin KGB


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Most Admirable Lady Reena
> 
> Please help!
> 
> ...


My dear Grisha, I thought I was the object of your desire ? And now you speak of running away with another !:Rage
Is your new 'femme fatale' hooman or woof ? Have you considered the longer term complications of eloping ? Leaving all that is familiar behind you ?
Does your new love reciprocate your feelings ?
I feel that you must come back down to earth, you would not be allowed over here anyway without your passport and a letter from your vet stating that you had the required treatment for worms and INJECTIONS (!) for rabies.
I think you have had your head turned and are behaving in a very fickle manner.
Regards, Reena.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> My dear Grisha, I thought I was the object of your desire ? And now you speak of running away with another !:Rage
> Is your new 'femme fatale' hooman or woof ? Have you considered the longer term complications of eloping ? Leaving all that is familiar behind you ?
> Does your new love reciprocate your feelings ?
> I feel that you must come back down to earth, you would not be allowed over here anyway without your passport and a letter from your vet stating that you had the required treatment for worms and INJECTIONS (!) for rabies.
> ...


Oh my dearest sweetest Reena

It was never my wish to upset you so. Our love albeit unrequited, will always be most precious to me. If only I could hold you in my paws and lick your tears away whilst reassuring you of my sincerity ...... sadly that is not to be!

Let me assure my desire for the offspring of the ancient one's offspring is not what you think it is! My passion for her is simply because she's so much younger than the crone whose house I reluctantly inhabit, and life with her wold be much more fun! Can you imagine outings where you can run and jog, or climb over or under stiles and hedges with your human, instead of always being expected to walk sedately beside a decrepit old lady who can only hobble along and constantly moans that you're walking too fast!

Dear lady, I must admit I got carried away by the thought of all the freedom until dinner time when I came down to earth with a bump having discovered the offspring is a lousy cook, so I think I'm better off where I am!

Please forgive me

Your Grisha


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Oh my dearest sweetest Reena
> 
> It was never my wish to upset you so. Our love albeit unrequited, will always be most precious to me. If only I could hold you in my paws and lick your tears away whilst reassuring you of my sincerity ...... sadly that is not to be!
> 
> ...


Dearest little Grisha. 
How can I resist such sweet woofings! I understand that you were bedazzled by such temptation , but if this creature can't provide you with the superior quality of noms that befit your palate there's no more to be said. 
Personally I find _my_ decrepit little hooman goes just about the right speed for me, it's that Bobby pest who goes charging off dragging us behind him.
If your hooman provides you with yummy dinners an snuggles I say count your blessings, these are the important things in life.
Love and licks, Reena.xx


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

Honey has urged me to seek your advice on an urgent matter. Our Hooman appears to be broken.

The day started like any other. Hooman got up, had breakfast, muttered under her breath about Honey not getting the memo about not using her crate as a toilet, even though I think my sister is ingenious because she has her own upstairs toilet  . Or did have. Hooman's thrown it out, now.

I digress.

Hooman took us walkies, as normal, and fed us, as normal - then, she broke. We're used to her doing the Hooman dishes and putting on the big white box that she calls a "washer" but she didn't stop there.

She pulled out everything from two of the cupboards, threw out about half of the contents, then swapped the contents around, so that the dishes are now in what used to be the spares and odds and sods cupboard, and the spares and odds and sods (if they haven't been thrown out) are in the cupboard that used to be the dishes cupboard. 

As if that wasn't enough, she then Hoovered the bedroom and hall carpets _twice_. One with the usual Hoover, and the other with the Hoover that makes the carpets wet and makes them smell like detergent. :Jawdrop

This is most unusual behaviour. Can you advise?

Yours affectionately,

Milly.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena.
> 
> Honey has urged me to seek your advice on an urgent matter. Our Hooman appears to be broken.
> 
> ...


Hello Milly . 
I think you are quite right to be anxious, I would be extremely anxious if my hooman carried on in such a manner, such behaviour is very odd.
For now I would advise the utmost caution and give extra attention, rewarding the behaviour you want with extra cuddles and snuggles to help her relax.
It could be that ' Kissmass' is causing her some stress, I've heard it does to some hoomans, in which case life will return to normal soon.
I suggest that if she is still behaving oddly after the decorations come down you take her to the vet to rule out any physical problems.
Hope that helps ! Have a lovely Kissmass !
Love and licks, Reena ( to Honey and Hooman as well )
xxx


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Deer Awnti Reena

Me n da white fing sez fank u fur all der adviz yuz givd uz n wez wizh u n yor hooman and dat fing kalld Bobi awr summat a ver
i appy kissmus N wez opez yuz getz lotz of yummi chewz n fings ta eet!










Lotz uv hugs

Gwylim n Grisha da whit fing wot livz in Ungery

XXXXXXXXX


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Deer Awnti Reena
> 
> Me n da white fing sez fank u fur all der adviz yuz givd uz n wez wizh u n yor hooman and dat fing kalld Bobi awr summat a ver
> i appy kissmus N wez opez yuz getz lotz of yummi chewz n fings ta eet!
> ...


Thank my luvvy sweet boys, hopes you has luvely Kissimus too with lots of yummy snacks and food.
And your owner too Bless her, she deserves a medal !


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Deer Awnti Reena

Sori ta trubel u but I'z a problum n yuz de onli wun Iz kan tern too fur elp!

Itz liek diz - I finkz me oomans triin ta get ridda me.coz on Tuzdai her sed wez going ta treynin -, u no wen de getz u ta du fingz u doeznt wont ta du but u duz coz u getz a yumi bita sozeje. Aniwai da minut her dresez me up in me nu cote I'z nowz somatz rong, coz u doeznt do treynin inya bezt cloffz dus ya? 

Den wen wez getz ta treynin plaice her sez to da treyna man, herz goin shopin an wez gotta go wif im! Itz veri strenj sein herz allus telin uz not ta go uff wi strangaz????? Da wite fing iz silli coz e wus qite appi but Iz veri suzpishush n doezent wont ta warlk zo Iz sitz n refuzez ta muve. N er telz me nut ta bee sa stubbun zo Iz givz in n wwent wiff da treynin man n da wite fing. 

Her did kum bak in de end but Iz doesnt truzt er ta go orff nuffer tyme n nut kum bak. Iz Iz rite ta bee zo wurrid?

N unappi Gwylim Schnawzer


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena I think I mights be the tiredest dog in the world. Hooman go out tell me to look after Loki. What ! He such hard work if I wasn't here he would trash the place. Can you help ? Do I need spa? Do I have burn out ? 
Yours Sox


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Hi Sox an Gwylim, I have to report that Reena is taking a well earned nap following a morning on Neighbourhood Watch duty. She will respond to your questions when fully refreshed.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Hi Sox an Gwylim, I have to report that Reena is taking a well earned nap following a morning on Neighbourhood Watch duty. She will respond to your questions when fully refreshed.
> View attachment 428670


Datz alrite. Iz duz undastand dat it bee ard wurk bean az wize az Awnti Reena.


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Maybe she is most tired dog in the world.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> Maybe she is most tired dog in the world.


I think Reena would agree !









But as you can see she's now ready to assist.

Glylim- I don't think you need to worry too much about being left with the trainer person ,your hooman probably thought she was giving you a treat by letting you have a little jolly with someone different while she went about her dreary shopping excursion, I just hope she bought you something nice !

Sox - I get what you say about responsibility, I get it all the time ! _' Look after mum' _when dad goes off to work, _' You're in charge' , _when they go shopping, so iff Bobby is naughty it's my fault !!

It _is _very tiring, they don't realise.

Love and licks precious boys !xxx
Reena.


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Thank you for your kind words it is good to know I'm not alone. I am quite overwhelmed with the responsibility and then hooman insists on two walks a day !

Yours Sox


----------



## Bugsys grandma (Aug 3, 2018)

Magyarmum said:


> Deer Awnti Reena
> 
> Sori ta trubel u but I'z a problum n yuz de onli wun Iz kan tern too fur elp!
> 
> ...


This made me feel actually really sad for the poor lad! I genuinely felt really sorry and upset for him!
Obviously I know he's absolutely fine and his human isn't really trying to get rid of him at all! Im actually pretty sure his human would fight tooth and nail to keep hold of him if anyone dared to try and take him away, but it did make me, as a human, feel,real sad! I'm such a soppy cow!

I think maybe I need a reality check!


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Bugsys grandma said:


> This made me feel actually really sad for the poor lad! I genuinely felt really sorry and upset for him!
> Obviously I know he's absolutely fine and his human isn't really trying to get rid of him at all! Im actually pretty sure his human would fight tooth and nail to keep hold of him if anyone dared to try and take him away, but it did make me, as a human, feel,real sad! I'm such a soppy cow!
> 
> I think maybe I need a reality check!


I'm sorry if we made you feel sad! You're quite right though, I'd never let anyone take away either of my precious boys!

Gabor our trainer doesn't usually take the boys for a walk. They hadn't had a proper walk for several days because of the snow, and as I had an enormous list of things to do before we went home he suggested to save time, I went and did my shopping at the supermarket where we parked, whilst he walked them and we then do a little training when I got back.

Grisha's always good for a walk and couldn't care less who he goes with, but my funny little Gwylim only really likes to be taken for a walk by me. He's such a stubborn young man as well and as soon as he realised I wasn't going with him, he plonked his backside on the ground and refused to budge. In the end to get him moving I had to pretend I was going with them, before shooting off into the supermarket! Cruel mum!

They were waiting by the car when I'd finished, and as soon as he spotted me walking towards him, he was so excited his tail was going nineteen to the dozen and his body all of a wiggle, bless him!. .


----------



## Sandysmum (Sep 18, 2010)

Deer Rena, I's a bit fed up wiv mum callin me old an blamin everfin on me bein old. If I doesn't ear wot she's sayin, it's coz I is old, if I doesn't want to go for a hoog walk any more it's coz I is old, if I does sleeps a lot it's coz i is old an I is getsin so fed up of earin it I ISN'T OLD!!!!!!
She as founded my hadopshun papers an accordin to them it makes me at leest 17 . No ones sure coz the rescoo place did find me an didn't reely know xactly. Anyhoo I doesn't feel old an even if I is goin grey. So my kweshun is, ow does I stops er keeps goin on abouts it?


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

jetsmum said:


> Deer Rena, I's a bit fed up wiv mum callin me old an blamin everfin on me bein old. If I doesn't ear wot she's sayin, it's coz I is old, if I doesn't want to go for a hoog walk any more it's coz I is old, if I does sleeps a lot it's coz i is old an I is getsin so fed up of earin it I ISN'T OLD!!!!!!
> She as founded my hadopshun papers an accordin to them it makes me at leest 17 . No ones sure coz the rescoo place did find me an didn't reely know xactly. Anyhoo I doesn't feel old an even if I is goin grey. So my kweshun is, ow does I stops er keeps goin on abouts it?
> View attachment 428966


Darling Jet, you is a very handsome and charming boy ! You must use your senior status to your avantage! Ignore the comments about being old, ignore when people tell you to do things you don't want to. I think your mum means well and is just making allowances for you being a bit tired and achey sometimes. If it means you get somewhere super-comfy and warm to snooze, extra nice food and snuggles that can't be bad, can it ?
Love and licky kisses, Reena.xx


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Dear Auntie Reena

I hope you don't mind my contacting you and I appreciate your advice is normally reserved for woofers, not humans, but I honestly don't know who else to turn to ..... I'm so distressed! 

I really thought my two woofer boys loved me, until that was, yesterday afternoon when they suddenly LEFT HOME! Imagine my shock and horror to find the boys I've devoted my life to HAD GONE, without a word as to why!

They were waiting by the bus stop when I eventually found them and persuaded them to come back home (well it was their dinner time and who can resist hot dog tit bits?) but this morning they were off again! Once more I persuaded them to stay, but only this time with a really yummy and might I say, expensive treat. As you can understand I'm so afraid they'll leave again and also somewhat annoyed because I feel they're holding me to ransom 

What have I done wrong that they prefer to live elsewhere? Does being human mean I don't understand my precious woofers and their hopes and needs? 

Being a very wise woofer, your opinion and advice dear lady, would be truly welcome

A very distraught two legged human.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Dear Auntie Reena
> 
> I hope you don't mind my contacting you and I appreciate your advice is normally reserved for woofers, not humans, but I honestly don't know who else to turn to ..... I'm so distressed!
> 
> ...


Oh dear, oh dear !
I had to ask my hooman for advice on this problem because she knows hoomans better than me.
From a woofer's point of view I think the boys are just playing with you to see how far they can go. They is very lucky boys to have you as their mum, I would come and live with you like a shot because you sounds lovely !
Mum says you should be firm with the naughty little boys, no special tasty yum-yums when they go sniff-about and wandery, they know where they live and will come back when they hungry .Don't make a fuss of them , maybe consider using them tracker thingies so you know where they are ?
Or maybe you should ground them for a bit .
Love and licky kisses.
Reena.xx


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear, oh dear !
> I had to ask my hooman for advice on this problem because she knows hoomans better than me.
> From a woofer's point of view I think the boys are just playing with you to see how far they can go. They is very lucky boys to have you as their mum, I would come and live with you like a shot because you sounds lovely !
> Mum says you should be firm with the naughty little boys, no special tasty yum-yums when they go sniff-about and wandery, they know where they live and will come back when they hungry .Don't make a fuss of them , maybe consider using them tracker thingies so you know where they are ?
> ...


Dear Auntie Reena

Thank you for your advice and that of your human, who sounds like a really good mum to you and your male companion.

The boys and I had a really good talk last night and they explained they only went on "walkabouts" because they were bored by not being taken for a walk. I made it clear to them that the not going for a walk was only temporary and due to circumstances beyond my control. I don't think they appreciated that unlike wuffers, humans only have two legs which makes it more difficult to walk on icy paths and roads and this was the reason they haven't been taken for walks for the past few days. They were much happier my having assured them as soon as the frosty weather has gone walks will be back to normal.and they have promised not to run away again (well not unless another hole appears in the fence)

We had a few hugs and cuddles and kissed and made up.and I feel at least for the time being everything has been sorted.

Thank you so much

A happy Schnauzer family
.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Dear Auntie Reena
> 
> Thank you for your advice and that of your human, who sounds like a really good mum to you and your male companion.
> 
> ...


So glad it's all sorted, nothing like a chat and cuddles for sorting out misunderstandings. I'm sure the boys would want you to stay in one piece !
Love and kisses, Reena ( and hooman )


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Dear Reena.

Hooman's acting strangely again.

This time, she has begun to lock uz woofers out of the big room that she calls the liffin room. She has made a hoooge mess! There is a big tub called Matt Emulsion and plastic sheet in the middle of the room.

We has been back in, but Matt Emulsion stinks, so now we doesn't want to go back in. 

Please helps. 

Milly and Honey.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

LinznMilly said:


> Dear Reena.
> 
> Hooman's acting strangely again.
> 
> ...


Oh I'z nows juzt wot u meenz bowt da stink!

Owr hooman wuz evsa kleva coz er n da uffzpring ov da uffzpring goz un der olibobz n leefz uz wif er uffzpring wot duz somat kalld peintin wif da stinki stuf


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Magyarmum said:


> Oh I'z nows juzt wot u meenz bowt da stink!
> 
> Owr hooman wuz evsa kleva coz er n da uffzpring ov da uffzpring goz un der olibobz n leefz uz wif er uffzpring wot duz somat kalld peintin wif da stinki stuf


Hooman was finkin about sending uz to Uncle Hoomans, but change er mynd, coz they is bizzy with this stinky stuff too, apparently.

She too tired now to take uz go our walkies.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

LinznMilly said:


> Hooman was finkin about sending uz to Uncle Hoomans, but change er mynd, coz they is bizzy with this stinky stuff too, apparently.
> 
> She too tired now to take uz go our walkies.


It'z alwez uz wufferz wot suferz in't it? Snot fare!


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Hello Milly and Honey !
It's a shame you don't like the smell could you have great fun and make an *awesome *mess, the forum peeps would be talking about it forever ! 
What you do is wait for hooman to leave the door a little bit open, push your way in and dip your pawsies in the stinky stuff then run all round the house !You will leave the most beautiful paw prints, hooman couldn't be cross ! Wish I could come and help !
Send pictures !!
Love and licks, Reena.xx


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

SusieRainbow said:


> Hello Milly and Honey !
> It's a shame you don't like the smell could you have great fun and make an *awesome *mess, the forum peeps would be talking about it forever !
> What you do is wait for hooman to leave the door a little bit open, push your way in and dip your pawsies in the stinky stuff then run all round the house !You will leave the most beautiful paw prints, hooman couldn't be cross ! Wish I could come and help !
> Send pictures !!
> Love and licks, Reena.xx


I finks that's way Hooman has kicked uz out of the liffin room. :Meh


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


> Hello Milly and Honey !
> It's a shame you don't like the smell could you have great fun and make an *awesome *mess, the forum peeps would be talking about it forever !
> What you do is wait for hooman to leave the door a little bit open, push your way in and dip your pawsies in the stinky stuff then run all round the house !You will leave the most beautiful paw prints, hooman couldn't be cross ! Wish I could come and help !
> Send pictures !!
> Love and licks, Reena.xx


Oooooh Awnti Reena

I finkz u beez evsa evsa norti

Da wite fing n mez beez evsa gud n wudnt deer du sumat lyk dat!

Beez u gud wufferz Milli n Huni?

Yor frend Gwylim


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Magyarmum said:


> Oooooh Awnti Reena
> 
> I finkz u beez evsa evsa norti
> 
> ...


Honey has been good, but I has tried Reena's suggestion. I wasn't verry gud at it, cos Hooman was right there and told me off. :Bag


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

LinznMilly said:


> Honey has been good, but I has tried Reena's suggestion. I wasn't verry gud at it, cos Hooman was right there and told me off. :Bag


Aw! U iz un ikle devil! 

Woz it xcitin? Wot cula az ya terned inta?:Jawdrop

Uz veri norti Mili


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Magyarmum said:


> Aw! U iz un ikle devil!
> 
> Woz it xcitin? Wot cula az ya terned inta?:Jawdrop
> 
> Uz veri norti Mili


Cream. Would have gone lufferly with her red carpet. :Happy

Hooman says she's doing a good enuff job of turning the red carpet cream 'erself wivvout my help.  :Hilarious


----------



## Sandysmum (Sep 18, 2010)

Deer Reena, I ushualy gets up at 8 in the mornin wen unkil comes to takes me for my mornin walk, but now e's workin from ome an doesn't gets up as early. But recently I finds myself wakin up earlier and earlier. Today I did gets up at 5. 30, an mum was not pleezed at all, coz wen I wakes up then I wakes er up  She did gets a bit cross, coz once she wakes up she can't get back off to sleep.The problim is I can't elp wakin up early, an she don't like gettin up early so wot can I do bout it. I don't want to makes er cross, she don't like gettin cross, I's in a reel dilemma, pleeze elp!
Fank oo,
Jet.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

jetsmum said:


> Deer Reena, I ushualy gets up at 8 in the mornin wen unkil comes to takes me for my mornin walk, but now e's workin from ome an doesn't gets up as early. But recently I finds myself wakin up earlier and earlier. Today I did gets up at 5. 30, an mum was not pleezed at all, coz wen I wakes up then I wakes er up  She did gets a bit cross, coz once she wakes up she can't get back off to sleep.The problim is I can't elp wakin up early, an she don't like gettin up early so wot can I do bout it. I don't want to makes er cross, she don't like gettin cross, I's in a reel dilemma, pleeze elp!
> Fank oo,
> Jet.


Jet,how lovely to hear from you, the first contact I've had from my PF friends since everything went peculiar !#
Sorry you're having problems, is something waking you up , like birds singing, ( pesky things!) or do you just want to get up and play ?
Hard to believe your mum is grumpy but I think mine might be too if I woke her up at 5,30 ! Do you sleep with her ? Are you too hot ? If so ask her for a nice coolmat to lie on, and can you have a cold drink ? OR - could she put a Kong in the freezer for you and you could have a nice nom on that and go back to sleep?
Maybe she could make the room darker too with blackout curtains.
I realise you can't tell her these things, you will have to show her what I've written. Let me know if I can help any more.
Love and licks, Reena.


----------



## Sandysmum (Sep 18, 2010)

Deer Reena,, you is rite evryfin is all peculyar, an that's part of the problim, I fink . Coz evrythin is all messed up, She is grumpy, but she can't elp it coz she's not bin able to do the fings she ushuly does, I sleeps on top of er bed, it's reel comfy, the room is dark an it's always cool coz there's big trees ova the ouse so we doesn't gets the sun much, I doesn't acshully want to play,I don't want's a drink or food, I don't knows wot I want but I jus ave to gets up wen I wakes up. It's all so confoosin.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Greetings Comrade Jet,

I have the perfect solution. 

You and I can do a swop because the ancient one that I have the misfortune to live with, wakes me up at the same ungodly hour in the morning as you do. She expects me to be enthusiastic to go and wander round the garden, when all I want to do is to get my beauty sleep.A perfect solution for both of us don't you think? 

If you're in agreement I'll ask Uncle Vlad to send his private jet and we can be installed in our new establishments by this evening.

Your fellow sufferer

Grisha Potemkin-Rimsky-Korsakov-Putin


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena 

I has quite a big problem. A lot of puppers on pet forum at the moment. I find them to be funny looking and not at all interesting but hooman keep say how cute and show me pictures. Then last night she say maybe next year when we buy our own house we should get a sister. 

No bloody way I put up with another pupper. As you know Loki is most irritating. I move out before another pupper come in. Could you ask your hooman to moderate the puppers out? No more photos please.

Yours 
Ever tired 
Sox


----------



## Guest (May 31, 2020)

Boxer123 said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> I has quite a big problem. A lot of puppers on pet forum at the moment. I find them to be funny looking and not at all interesting but hooman keep say how cute and show me pictures. Then last night she say maybe next year when we buy our own house we should get a sister.
> 
> ...


I has the same pwoblem with my mama. She keeps saying maybe a little pupper to add to the family. But I thinks no I wants all the attention and snuggles. Maybe we could team up?


----------



## Maria_1986 (May 15, 2011)

Dear Reena

How do I keep humans home? I have been enjoying lockdown, I have both humans home.
Male one is working from home but female one is furloughed so has lots of extra time for training, belly rubs and cuddles.
I used to get a bit stressed at being home alone so have been very happy to always have company. Humans have started to go and sit in the garden without me or have a little walk without me and I am ok with being left still but I would still rather keep them home.
To end with happy news the snack production pony and I can now got out together as I've learned not to put my nose up him bum to see if anything comes out.









Hope you and your family are all staying well during this weird time

Wags and licks
Chester


----------



## MilleD (Feb 15, 2016)

Maria_1986 said:


> snack production pony


:Hilarious


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Kakite said:


> I has the same pwoblem with my mama. She keeps saying maybe a little pupper to add to the family. But I thinks no I wants all the attention and snuggles. Maybe we could team up?


You is in big trouble if hooman looking at pupper. They promise to look after pupper but it all get left to you. Hooman tell me to make sure Loki is good boy when she goes out. How ? I has to look after and babysit all the times. Do you know how to use computer we needs to take down pictures of cute puppers and puts up the reality of naughties. I have attached some pictures of Loki naughties to use and of me babysitting always.


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Maria_1986 said:


> Dear Reena
> 
> How do I keep humans home? I have been enjoying lockdown, I have both humans home.
> Male one is working from home but female one is furloughed so has lots of extra time for training, belly rubs and cuddles.
> ...


We is opposite wish hooman would go out she been loafing around for months. How she earn money for boxers ? We thinks of sending he fruit picking.

Loki


----------



## Guest (May 31, 2020)

I knows. Sometimes my mama takes me to a fwends and their puppet Name Loki and he drives me nuts. Mama says I was just like that and I thinks she is telling fibs!

ps: mama says baby boxer photos are so cute.


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Kakite said:


> I knows. Sometimes my mama takes me to a fwends and their puppet Name Loki and he drives me nuts. Mama says I was just like that and I thinks she is telling fibs!
> 
> ps: mama says baby boxer photos are so cute.


They is most irritating not cute follows me around always. Imagine if hooman got baby boxer you just hear squeaking always.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Boxer123 said:


> View attachment 440974
> View attachment 440975
> View attachment 440976
> 
> ...


At least puppas grow up and if you educate them properly can end up quite civilised (so I'm told)! And if they don't they can always be sent back to where they came from.

The ancient one is contemplating something far, far worse! She's considering giving an impoverished four legged old lady a home. Just imagine what it's gong to be like for me and the hairy one having to run round, pandering to not one but two decrepit creatures. I can't bear to think about it!

I really must speak to Uncle Vlad as I'm sure he'll agree that I deserve far better than to be unpaid servant to two useless, worn out females.


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Your situation does sound bothersome. What on Earth are the hoomans thinking?



Magyarmum said:


> At least puppas grow up and if you educate them properly can end up quite civilised (so I'm told)! And if they don't they can always be sent back to where they came from.
> 
> The ancient one is contemplating something far, far worse! She's considering giving an impoverished four legged old lady a home. Just imagine what it's gong to be like for me and the hairy one having to run round, pandering to not one but two decrepit creatures. I can't bear to think about it!
> 
> I really must speak to Uncle Vlad as I'm sure he'll agree that I deserve far better than to be unpaid servant to two useless, worn out females.


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Magyarmum said:


> At least puppas grow up and if you educate them properly can end up quite civilised (so I'm told)! And if they don't they can always be sent back to where they came from.
> 
> The ancient one is contemplating something far, far worse! She's considering giving an impoverished four legged old lady a home. Just imagine what it's gong to be like for me and the hairy one having to run round, pandering to not one but two decrepit creatures. I can't bear to think about it!
> 
> I really must speak to Uncle Vlad as I'm sure he'll agree that I deserve far better than to be unpaid servant to two useless, worn out females.


Yoo finks that bad? My Hooman is setting up another glass box for colourful fishies. She already has 2! That means less attenshun for me!

Milly.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

jetsmum said:


> Deer Reena,, you is rite evryfin is all peculyar, an that's part of the problim, I fink . Coz evrythin is all messed up, She is grumpy, but she can't elp it coz she's not bin able to do the fings she ushuly does, I sleeps on top of er bed, it's reel comfy, the room is dark an it's always cool coz there's big trees ova the ouse so we doesn't gets the sun much, I doesn't acshully want to play,I don't want's a drink or food, I don't knows wot I want but I jus ave to gets up wen I wakes up. It's all so confoosin.


So, Jet, what *do *you do, when you wakes up and wakes your mum up?


----------



## Sandysmum (Sep 18, 2010)

Nufin reely, I jumps down, walks about a bit, jumps back up, as a scratch an jumps down agin, an I does a bit of singin too along wiv the birds, then does it all ova agin. But mum as it sortid now, she ad a talk wiv anty an unkil. an coz e as starts to get up reel early for work, even if e is worksin from ome, he's goin to come for me at 5 so mum can stay hasleep an not gets grumpy. I does stay wiv them for most of the day anyhoo, so everyfin as workid it'self out.
Fank oo for your elp, Anty Reena, you is a very wise woofer.
Jet Xx


----------



## Sandysmum (Sep 18, 2010)

Magyarmum said:


> Greetings Comrade Jet,
> 
> I have the perfect solution.
> 
> ...


Deer Grisha, fank oo for yous very kins offa, but I fink it's all sortid itself out now, like I said to Anty Reena. But if it all goes rong agin, then I think maybe we shud swap our mums ova but only for a bit coz my mum needs me coz she's a bit sort of useliss on er own. ( I does like the fort of goin in a private jet, it sounds xcitin!!

I does ope you can sort yous mum out, it's funny ow they can be so strange sumtimes isn't it.
Your friend, Jet.


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Reena would like to wish you all a very happy Christmas and New year. She's liked having us at home wth her this year and is looking forward to hearng from you all even if you don't have a problem.


----------



## Boxer123 (Jul 29, 2017)

Dear Reena

Merry Xmas to you from boxer HQ. We has a bit of an Xmas problem. Hooman auntie is visiting for Xmas. She is great play ball, take us out. But ! She is a vegan hooman say no turkey for Xmas. Do you think hooman will get a little turkey for boxers ? We is very worried because well our behaviour not been brilliant this year. Not terrible but perhaps could have been better.

Yours 
Boxer HQ


----------



## JoanneF (Feb 1, 2016)

Happy Christmas to everybody and everydog from me too,

Timber x


----------



## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Ohhh, so many times I've thought about resurrecting this thread. 









*To all dogs and their devoted Hoomans*

Lots of love and licks from;

*Madam Milly & The Honey Monster*









And their Hooman, of course. ​


----------



## DaisyBluebell (Apr 14, 2017)

Dear Reena, Merry Crismas to you and yours. I am very worried it might not be good Crismas for me!
I was sniffing about in long grass on walk today and found something nice to eat, I do not know what it was. My mum saw me & shouted and blew whistle but I did not leave it and go to her 'immediately' which I is supposed to do when I hear whistle. Mum very angry & upset as she frightened at what I eaten. She said if I get sick & have to go to vets I will not get any presents or turkey at Crismas. She is watching me all the time now. What should I do??


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Boxer123 said:


> View attachment 457117
> Dear Reena
> 
> Merry Xmas to you from boxer HQ. We has a bit of an Xmas problem. Hooman auntie is visiting for Xmas. She is great play ball, take us out. But ! She is a vegan hooman say no turkey for Xmas. Do you think hooman will get a little turkey for boxers ? We is very worried because well our behaviour not been brilliant this year. Not terrible but perhaps could have been better.
> ...


Well Boxers, I think you have to be on your very best behaviour _all the time_ from now to Christmas. No more silliness! 
Then you _might _get some turkey. Your mum can buy a special vegan dinner for your antie and you can all have turkey - _if you are very good !_
If all else fails let me know and I will send you some , but only if you have been good!


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

DaisyBluebell said:


> Dear Reena, Merry Crismas to you and yours. I am very worried it might not be good Crismas for me!
> I was sniffing about in long grass on walk today and found something nice to eat, I do not know what it was. My mum saw me & shouted and blew whistle but I did not leave it and go to her 'immediately' which I is supposed to do when I hear whistle. Mum very angry & upset as she frightened at what I eaten. She said if I get sick & have to go to vets I will not get any presents or turkey at Crismas. She is watching me all the time now. What should I do??


Oh dear Emma, that was very naughty, what were you thinking? I'm not surprised your mum was cross !
You must control yourself, no more stinky treats snaffled when you're out or you might even end up wearing a muzzle.
I hope it didn't make you poorly ? I was poorly a few weeks ago, I think it was from eatng duck poo. Man, did it make me sick !:Vomit


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Reena and Bobby would like to thank everyone for ther kind Christmas wishes, they are very excited about their SS parcel and of course the prospect of turkey. They have been very good although Bobby doesn't like going outside in the rain for a wee and I have to mop up puddles sometimes !


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Sweet Lady

Not a day goes by without you being in my thoughts. Love of my life how I long to be by your side .... but sadly t'is not to be!

I hope the ancient ones with whom you live are keeping you in the luxury which you so rightly deserve and that Bobby chap is treating you with the respect a lady of your standing is entitled. If not you only have to PM me and I will fly to your rescue.

Till we meet again please have a Happy Christmas with lots of presents and turkey.

Your loving Grisha


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Sweet Lady
> 
> Not a day goes by without you being in my thoughts. Love of my life how I long to be by your side .... but sadly t'is not to be!
> 
> ...


Thank you darling boy, how I would love to meet you !
Bobby is mostly quite the gentleman but I have to say his appetite for food can cause lapses in his manners. His back makes a lovely cushion though.
The old folks do their best to give us the care we deserve and get it right most of the time. The provision of more food would be a step in the right direction but hoomum keeps muttering about my 'waistline' !
I hope you have a lovely Christmas with your Hooman, look after her !


----------



## DaisyBluebell (Apr 14, 2017)

SusieRainbow said:


> Oh dear Emma, that was very naughty, what were you thinking? I'm not surprised your mum was cross !
> You must control yourself, no more stinky treats snaffled when you're out or you might even end up wearing a muzzle.
> I hope it didn't make you poorly ? I was poorly a few weeks ago, I think it was from eatng duck poo. Man, did it make me sick !:Vomit


Thank you for your concern, duck poo sounds interesting but not nice. I was not sick but had tummy rumbles so was give stuff in a long white tube squeezed into my mouth & not much food in my bowl ! I think it was a punishment for not returning when whistle blown! I was very good today & returned 'Immediately' every time whistle was blown, which seemed an awful lot of times today but I did get a small treat each time.
Hope you and Bobby have a lovely Crismus with presents & things. Love Emma x


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

Dear Auntie Reena

Pleez dont believe dat bruvver of mine. Hez got lady wuffaz all over the plaice wot hez alwayz chattin up. I fink itz somat to do wif him bein a Rushan. Full of himself n finks hez irreziztable to ladi wuffas (of a certain age). Dont want ta see yer hurt, so thout Id betta tell ya.

Hope I haznt spoilt Cristmas fur you. If ya feel lonely u can PM meany time u like.

Happy Christmas from yor tru frend Gwylim


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

[/QUOTE]

Dear Gwylim, my heart is broken !
Your brother is a vagabond and scoundrel.









Leave me with my broken dreams of romance.


----------



## Magyarmum (Apr 27, 2015)

SusieRainbow said:


>


Dear Gwylim, my heart is broken !
Your brother is a vagabond and scoundrel.
View attachment 457234


Leave me with my broken dreams of romance.[/QUOTE]

Auntie Reena

I iz so sorry to be the purveyor of bad news but I felt I had to tell you as my bruvver is chattin up a statuesque Ozzie Collie ladi called Luka ( I think shez gotz lotz of moni).

I knowz Iz not as andsome az me bruvver but Iz alwayz luvd ya Reena n Iz no Iz not such a fine figur of a wuffa az me bruvver but Iz onest n faithfull.

Pleaz let me kizz yor tearz away an make you appy agin?

Yours forever Gwylim


----------



## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Magyarmum said:


> Dear Gwylim, my heart is broken !
> Your brother is a vagabond and scoundrel.
> View attachment 457234
> 
> ...


Auntie Reena

I iz so sorry to be the purveyor of bad news but I felt I had to tell you as my bruvver is chattin up a statuesque Ozzie Collie ladi called Luka ( I think shez gotz lotz of moni).

I knowz Iz not as andsome az me bruvver but Iz alwayz luvd ya Reena n Iz no Iz not such a fine figur of a wuffa az me bruvver but Iz onest n faithfull.

Pleaz let me kizz yor tearz away an make you appy agin?

Yours forever Gwylim








[/QUOTE]

Reena is too sad to consider any offers of love and romance at the moment, maybe when she's had a snooze under her blanket she will consider your kind offer.
You would have to move here though.


----------

