# Neighbour interfering & feeding cat



## pinkfrost (Sep 6, 2014)

I'm posting this in the cat Health AND Behaviour forums as I wasn't sure which one it best suited. 

I have had my male cat Ralph for about six months, I inherited him by default after my neighbour abandoned him. All was going well and I had him on a mostly raw food diet, then my neighbour started feeding him. We live very close to each other and Ralph has to walk past her ranchslider door to get to my flat. It seems that she has been feeding him when I'm at work in the day. 

I know this because she once gave him some cheese in front of me, and I asked her not to. I told her he was on a healthy diet, and I gave her a few special cat biscuits she could give to him occasionally in the hope she would stop feeding him junk. 

But recently Ralph has become really picky and refuses a lot of what he used to eat, or only eating a small amount of it before walking away. His appetite is still fine, what will often happen is he will turn his nose up at something then run down and start scratching furiously on my neighbour's ranchslider. 

So I told her more assertively not to feed Ralph and that he was getting enough food from me and I wanted him to eat healthy. I asked her outright what she'd been feeding him and she said just some of the biscuits, which I didn't believe as he stopped eating them ages ago. This woman has her own internet cooking show and the way she shows affection is by feeding people (and cats it seems). 

But now it is become so difficult to get him to be interested in anything I offer him. I will put down a plate of something, then when that doesn't work try something else, and so on. This process can take 3-4 hours sometimes, as he is walking away in between times. 

His favourite food was raw chicken necks, but I've had to stop feeding that because several times now he has wolfed the whole thing down then made a loud choking noise, before regurgitating it in one piece. 

I used to also give him offal, mince, chicken giblets and a little bit of fish. Then when he started getting fussier I'd smear processed cat food over the top and he'd eat the whole thing. 

Now he will only eat a little bit of mince or chicken giblets if very fresh. Even processed food (Whiskas etc) he's refusing quite often. I've now also tried canned fish, baby food, cat milk, and portions of my own cooked meals - largely without success. 

Where do I go from here? I can't afford the vet and his appetite seems fine. 

Desperate for any suggestions...thanks


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## Tails and Trails (Jan 9, 2014)

is the neighbour that feeds him the same neighbour that abandoned him?


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## pinkfrost (Sep 6, 2014)

No, she moved into the flat where the guy had lived (who abandoned Ralph)


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## Tails and Trails (Jan 9, 2014)

tricky then, your cat keeps wandering over to its old home.

why is your neighbour feeding her, did she give you a reason?


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## pinkfrost (Sep 6, 2014)

She seems very fond of Ralph plus I know she loves cooking and sharing her food (has her own internet cooking show). When I'm at work Ralph is hanging around nearby and walking past her door.

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it but these factors combined with the fact that Ralph runs down and starts scratching vigorously on her door when he doesn't like the food I put down makes me convinced she's feeding him.


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## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

If you've tried reasoning with her then there is not a lot you can do with a free roaming cat. Besides making sure your garden is cat proof and your cat cannot get out.


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## Blaise in Surrey (Jun 10, 2014)

One thing I might try as a last resort is to tell her that your cat is having digestive problems and so the vet says he has to be on a very controlled diet: if she carries on feeding him you will have to come to her for the vet bills.

However...... sorry to ask this but, if you can't afford a vet, what are you doing with an animal? I appreciate that you didn't choose this situation but it might be better to rehome him so that you never have the heartbreaking decision about what to do if he seriously needs some treatment.


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## pinkfrost (Sep 6, 2014)

As much as I had wanted a pet before I never got one as knew I couldn't really afford one. I went through a lot of really bad stuff when I was younger and now I suffer from a lot of anxiety and am only working part time.

Before my last neighbour got evicted he asked me to look after Ralph and his other cat for a week or so, so I obliged. After about six weeks, when it was obvious he wasn't going to come for the cats I managed to find a good home for the other cat Minnie, although it was very upsetting to part with her by that stage. She now has a wonderful life in the countryside and sounds very happy. 

I have no other family so it is just me and Ralph, and I have tried hard to keep him in excellent health so he won't need the vet that often. I will try and attach a before and after pic from when I first got him, and a more recent one. He had some scratches on his nose which he'd had for a long time, but I applied salt water twice a day for several weeks and they are now hardly visible. 

In an emergency or if he becomes very sick then of course I would take him to the vet, but I would rather keep him well and healthy through diet etc as much as possible. I hope that doesn't make me sound irresponsible or neglectful. Thanks for your help.


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## wileys mum (Oct 27, 2013)

Cats are menices for attaching themselves to other ppl , ive never fed another persons animal but i have found cats in my house since my old cat passed away (my cat was very similar looking to yours aswell ) but they just come in as there nosy buggers and yours already lived there before , i found one on my bed once , all you can do is like another poster said , say he has to have a special diet , ask her if shes been feeding him because you have had to take him to the vet due to stomach issues, say hes been diaognosed with allergys and you have to be very carefull now what you feed him


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

BlaiseinHampshire said:


> *One thing I might try as a last resort is to tell her that your cat is having digestive problems and so the vet says he has to be on a very controlled diet: if she carries on feeding him you will have to come to her for the vet bills.*
> 
> However...... sorry to ask this but, if you can't afford a vet, what are you doing with an animal? I appreciate that you didn't choose this situation but it might be better to rehome him so that you never have the heartbreaking decision about what to do if he seriously needs some treatment.
> 
> .


This is a good idea, though she may be skeptical since you've been at her to stop already. However you can point out that his health was fine until she started feeding him stuff that is not on his special diet.

I would be greatly annoyed by this person.

Otherwise, just keep him inside.

I don't like to hear "I can't afford the vet". I understand you rescued him and I saw your post about how, but "I can't afford the vet" is always a cop out. Put money aside "for the vet". Sooner or later, everyone with pets needs the vet. "Can't afford" is a poor excuse, and there is nothing more devastating that not being able to help an ill cat. Put that money aside now and do not touch it, add to it every week, so you have a nice padding when he needs it.


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## Ragdollsfriend (Feb 13, 2014)

Hi Pinkfrost, you posted a similar question in the Health section and I replied to you there with the following:

Sorry to hear about this whole situation. How about having another chat with your neighbour to explain your kitty needs to be on a strict diet as otherwise he gets sick and vomits a lot afterwards. Just play the "health issues" card. 

I've heard that others buy a supplement called FortiFlora to add to the food and encourage fussy eaters to eat what's offered on a plate. Apparently it's very palatable and cats find this supplement highly appealing.

On the second thought, if your neighbour is such a good cook, perhaps you can discuss the basics of cat nutrition with her and encourage her to prepare some cat gourmet food just for your little guy  Who knows she may like the idea and use it as a spin off to her existing business :wink: You may even get some commission from the new venture. Seriously why not?


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

I would admit I would not be able to afford anything major for my cats for the vet, like a broken leg, but I could at least deal with minor things and just go without another thing like a game or a dvd or something, that's the way I see it.


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## Soozi (Jun 28, 2013)

I agree you should tell the woman that your cat has special needs with his diet but I'm not sure that will stop her! I'm sorry you are in this situation but please be careful what you tempt your cat with Baby food could contain onion which is toxic to cats so are many other processed/canned and human foods it could actually make matters worse. I would be fuming at this woman but I don't know what to suggest except to maybe keep your cat indoors for a while. X


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## Muze (Nov 30, 2011)

Surely, it would be safer to keep him contained if he needs a restricted diet, he could pick up anything


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Hi pinkfrost, Ralph is a very handsome cat, it is lovely you took him in, and I understand you have become attached to him, bless him. However as he used to live only next door it really makes things awkward, as to him the house is still his territory and that's why he keeps returning there.

The fact his original owner has moved away and there is someone new living in the house makes little difference to Ralph. To make matters worse the new occupier is actually encouraging him indoors and is feeding him!  I am afraid this is why Ralph has become picky about what you feed him, your neighbour is no doubt indulging him with dry food and like many cats, if they are given a choice, they choose nasty dry food in preference to nice healthy food. The problem is he is spoiling his appetite all the time with the dry food so when he comes home to you he is not hungry enough for his meals. 

Tbh I can't see that telling your neighbour not to feed Ralph because he has medical issues is going to work. Short of keeping the cat indoors all the time, or erecting cat proof fencing so he can't get out of the garden (probably impractical for you because of the cost) you are left with a couple of options. 

i.e. either rehome Ralph to somewhere well out of the area, so he can't make his way back to his old home, or if you really want to keep him, accept that your neighbour is likely to continue offering him food and with that in mind give her some food that you don't mind Ralph eating (not dry food). e.g. some quality wet food (not Whiskas etc). 

It may be less stressful for you and for Ralph, in the long run, if you decide to accept it might be impossible to break his attachment to his old home, and to therefore consider sharing his company with your neighbour. 

Not saying that you should just give up and let her have him, far from it, but e,g. when you are out at work perhaps she could have him then, and it be agreed between you she can feed him one meal. Then when you get home if Ralph is not around I would knock on your neighbour's door and ask her to give you your cat. 

I know my solution is not perfect, but it may be the best you can do in the in light of Ralph's territorial attachment which believe me would be hard to break in view of the circumstances. I believe it will work, as it has been a successful arrangement for friends of mine who were in similar circumstances to yours, and their cat was happy with the arrangement


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