# Is my Cat fighting my new kitten? Or are they playing!



## Louise.hare

Hi folks, this is my first proper post on here and I'm looking for some advice/reassurance! 

The background is... I have a 7 year old Bengal boy called Bailey, a real sweetie, spoiled rotten, as they all are!! 3 and a half weeks ago I picked up my new baby... a 12 week old Ragdoll boy who we have named Mylo (he's now almost 16 weeks). He is the most lovable kitten ever, he is just wonderful!!

So anyway I wanted to find out what you all thought about when I should intervene when they are playing!!  I kept Mylo totally isolated from Bailey for the first week then they met through the carrier (Bailey didnt speak to me for a whole week, grumpy boy, and infact still wont really let me pick him up or cuddle him... and he used to love his cuddles! :frown, then we put up a baby gate so they could see each other and once the hissing/growling stopped I removed the gate and now we're into week 4 and Im letting them spend time with each other about 2/3 times a day for about 15mins to half an hour at a time with each other. 

There is never any hissing or growling whatsoever between the two of them now, but Bailey basically chases Mylo around, stalks him, pounces on him and it all looks so rough!! Bailey sort of pins Mylo down and bites him (hard in my opinion! Fur sometimes flies!), normally on the neck or tummy area and kicks at him with his back legs (as they do!) and then he runs away, then Mylo plucks up the courage and chases Bailey and then Bailey pins Mylo down again and bites him, lets him go, stalks him.... and it goes on and on like this for the whole time theyre together (unless there is food involved!). I tend to end the "meeting" with food or when they are distracted. 

I think Bailey is being a bully and telling him whos boss, and Mylo is definitely timid of Bailey, but maybe wrongly Ive been trying to distract them mid fight as Im petrified in case Bailey hurts Mylo! So I just wanted your advice on what you think I should do. 

1. Should I just let them get on with it and not intervene? 
2. Is this completely normal and will it settle down over time?
3. Will Bailey ever stop huffing with me? 

Over the past week Ive noticed Mylo getting more and more confident and hes started to stick up for himself, but he doesnt get a minutes peace to investigate and play with his toys without a big cat stalking and leaping at him! It's hard to tell the difference between playing and fighting and my fear is that I'm mistaking playing for fighting, and vice versa! I dont get the feeling that Bailey is being aggressive, he is being very dominant though in my opinion! 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! 

Thanks!! 
Louise


----------



## jill3

I think he could be playing but also showing his dominance towards the kitten.
Last October i introduced a 2.5 year old + 16 year old to a 14 week old kitten.
The 2.5 year old plays with her all the while but sometimes he gets rough, then i stop him.
What you could do is to play with both of them together. I.E. with some string or one of the dangle things on a rod. Making insure the older one doesn't get jelous. That way he might not get the huff with you for too long.
We always take the old one to bed with us so she doesn't get too jelous and it works. Also it's great for us on these freezing nights:thumbup:
I would give them treats together.
It is early days and i am sure they will be fine.
I only use to intervene if i heard a squeak from kitten, then i new the playing had got a bit rough. How ever she always went back for more
My 2.5 year old sometimes looks lie he's nibbling the back of her neck but all my cats have done this. It is a pecking order thing and as long as there are know squeaks and it doesnt go on for too long i let them sort it out.

I am sure there will be more people on here that will be able to give you more advice.


----------



## koekemakranka

It is best to let them sort it out amongst themselves to establish the hierachy. It is rare that a fight like that would result in serious injuries. Cats like knowing who's boss and the subordinate cat doesn't mind being subordinate. Once they have sorted one another out, the fighting will decrease and peace will reign.:thumbup:


----------



## Taylorbaby

well you have 2 cats at the OPP end of the scale, as bengal do overwhlem cast who are more laidback, all my bengals dominated abd some bullied the ragdolls yes i had to spilt them up and couldnt leave them alone together unless i supervised. id supervise visits as he is still very small and watch out for your boy, his alot older and this is 'his house' bengals are the best of time time like newbies, esp older bengals.

ragdolls are a breed that is by nature norta fighter, so i would personally stop them 'playing' he doesnt like to much like playing, more that his the bengals new play thing, your bengal hopefully will forgive you soon, give them both alot of attention and treats etc, feed them seperate. good luck!!


----------



## thatspicegirl

It's always hard to tell when they're just playing or fighting sometimes, especially when you're all protective like me and get worried!

We have 2 cats, and Casper is a 2 year old male and Kitten is a 7 month old or so kitten (I know, we're real original with the name on that one!)... the 2 of them fight quite a bit, and it's always hard to tell when it's just playing and when it's real. Casper screams a lot during their fighting because Kitten is usually pinning him down and biting at him... It's pretty unnerving when he starts screaming at the top of his lungs like that! I tend to separate them when they get like that, or shout "HEY!!!" to make them stop, because I don't want anyone getting hurt.


----------



## DCW

I came on the forum today to search for exactly this problem. My two cats do this too and I now only tend to separate them when the youngest starts to cry out in pain. I'd like some advice too so thanks for posting the question!


----------



## MaryA

Louise.hare said:


> then Mylo plucks up the courage and chases Bailey and then Bailey pins Mylo down again and bites him, lets him go, stalks him.... and it goes on and on like this for the whole time theyre together


As they are taking it in turns, I suggest it's play. On YouTube there are videos of cats playing and of cats fighting. The difference in posture and the noises they make is obvious. My hubby worried that ours were fighting until I showed him the videos, now he leaves them to it.


----------



## kittycatkim

with my cat i can tell the difference to play fighting to real fighting but he is such a mummys boy and a softy anyone could. have a look for signs that he is being more gentle then he would in a normal fight even a tiny bit! my cats play fight all the time and the eldest is soo much more gentle then the kitten,she has given him a few scratch marks but i think she is learning  i wasnt sure at first if she was actualy fighting but as that was the first couple of days of having her and he he hasnt had any marks since im guessing it was just a woops i didnt know how sharp those was! its really very sweet watching her follow his about learning what to do <3. but back to my point sorry...before i moved out here he used to play with my cousins make cat and fur would fly all over the place! but no hissing or growling ect and niether got hurt at all so i really wouldnt worry about it yet untill they start hissing ect or getting injuries or becoming scared around one another? i do wonder does your eldest cat use a litter tray? does he keep his poo uncovered all of a sudden? that would be a clear sign he is trying to show who is boss! but even so cats will have little fights to show who is boss untill its been made clear. to make my cat more accepting of the newbie i do things like give him his food before she gets hers,give him the strokes first,brush first ect....


----------



## ClaireLily

My 3 all have their moments, my youngest is a right whinge and cries all the time, when she's hungry, when she wants you to think she's being bullied (then soon as your backs turned she slaps one of the others round the chops).

Sometimes the playing sounds like one is being murdered but they can always get away, I gave up separating them cause soon as I did, the one who was being bullied started chasing the apparent bully 

I say let them sort it out within reason, keep an eye on them but try to let them get on with it


----------



## kittycatkim

ClaireLily said:


> My 3 all have their moments, my youngest is a right whinge and cries all the time, when she's hungry, when she wants you to think she's being bullied (then soon as your backs turned she slaps one of the others round the chops).


gotta love cats aint ya the cheeky little blighters  there will be small (maybe very tiny) tell tale signs that they are playing just keep an eye and see how it goes


----------



## jomary-austin

Your older cat is definitely showing his dominance but he is also playfighting by the sounds of it as he is running away and they are taking turns. 

Unless Mylo squeaks or gets hurt, when you should intervene immediately, I don't think there is anything to worry about. As Mylo grows he will gain confidence and the playfighting will be less one sided. Just check Mylo over to make sure he isn't getting injured, a few wee scratches is nothing to worry about but obviosuly if there are any wounds then you need to think again.

It can look really rough I know, especially when one cat is so much bigger but if Mylo is sometimes jumping on Bayley then I think he feels confident enough that there is no real threat.

You'd know if they really meant it, they would be yowling and spitting and hissing and really going for it and blood would be shed. Bailey knows Mylos just little, he's just throwing his weight about and they are most likely both having quite a good time together.

Do they interact in any other way? Do they groom or sit near each other?


----------



## Louise.hare

Wow thanks everyone for your advice! Really appreciate it! Since I posted the original thread things are definitely lots better! Bailey still and always will be the boss, about 3 times a day he pins Mylo down biting the back of his neck and he will not let him go so I always intervene! Mylo can sometimes wriggle away from him (so I'm still nervous about leaving them alone, which I have only done for about an hour at a time). 

The difference now is that Mylo has grown a little and is a lot more confident. He likes to jump on Bailey when he's asleep, and Bailey's reaction is to give him a quick bite and a paw round the head and then he licks him over and over, and begins to give him a good old groom, sometimes for about 10 minutes at a time, biting normally follows straight after from the pair of them, but it always seems more playful than aggressive! :thumbup:

Neither are scared of the other, but Mylo has developed quite an attitude and pounces on Bailey constantly, and Bailey actually doesn't seem that bothered at all by it and tends to walk away rather than pounce on Mylo, although they have their moments when Bailey has just had enough, and actually I do feel sorry for him as he just wantes peace and quiet! 

Can anyone recommend when I should leave them alone for longer periods? I got Mylo to keep Bailey company as they are both indoor cats, however Mylo is locked in his room when I am at work and I feel so bad for keeping them seperated but also scared in case Bailey hurts him. However, I've had him 5 weeks now and there has been no serious fighting at all so hopefully they would be ok!


----------



## jomary-austin

By the sounds of things I am pretty sure you can leave them together now, if they were going to hurt each other you really would know it. It is very rare for cats to really hurt each other unless its tomcats fighting over a ladycat. If they have issues with each other ( and they will at some point) they will sort them out with a quite spat and run off.

Leave them alone together and I'm pretty sure they will sleep all day anyway!


----------



## Taylorbaby

glad things are going better, and yes I would keep them seperated when your out!


----------



## honeysmummy

Hi, do you think the younger your existing cat is...its easier to bring another kitten in. I have posted this question on cat chat and got some helpful replies but would love to hear more....our kitten honey will be 6 months when we possibly get a playmate for her...want her to be ok and not
feel threatened

thanks


----------



## Louise.hare

Hi honeysmummy! 

Well in my opinion I do think that the younger the existing cat the better. Kittens are so boisterous as you will know, and at 6 months, another kitten would be a playmate! The older the cat the more chance the kitten would be an annoyance rather than a companion! 2 kittens will also keep each other entertained and if you work all day they will have company and a partner in crime to get up to all sorts of mischief!!  Initially the new kitten would probably feel threatened but that's where correct introductions come in. Kittens are usually really bold and confident little creatures and as they grow they get a lot more sure of themselves!

I honestly believe though that if you have the right personalities of cats and you introduce them correctly you can have any age/gender/breed introductions and they should in time be absolutely fine! :thumbup: (introductions are SO important, never ever just throw them in a room together and expect them to get along, had I done that my story would be very different!) 

I was so worried with my 2 with Bailey being 7 years old, and with Bengal and Ragdoll personalities being so different but I can honestly say they are establishing a firm friendship. Initially Mylo was definitely threatened by Bailey but now he pounces on him and has no fear whatsoever! They sleep cuddled up next to each other every night on my bed, and throughout the day when I'm out. They would rather be together than with me at times!!! They have their moments when they annoy each other, but it has done the world of good for Bailey (who used to be the laziest bengal on the planet!!), he is so much more active, has lost loads of weight as he's much more active, they play fight loads as well and chase each other around, and I would say as well, that although there is a lot more activity in the house with crazy kitties running around, Bailey is actually a lot calmer and more content in himself, he's not crying for his food all the time like he used to, I really believe he was bored on his own. 

Good luck! Let me know how you get on with your kittites


----------



## honeysmummy

louise.hare...thank you so much for your reply..you have made me feel alot better about adding to our brood...there is a lady who i have spoken to today..who cats and kittens bloodline have been in their family for 20 plus yrs...one of her cats is having kittens in a months time...she has promised to call me when they arrive and we will go from there.....we love Honey soooo much just want her to have company and be happy

thanks again for your reply

ps...honey will be 9 mths old then...do you still consider that to be young enought to be accepting to a new addition x


----------



## Louise.hare

9 months will be absolutely fine also!! just make sure you introduce them properly as Honey will have established herself in your house and then along comes another little bundle to disrupt her routine!  there's so much info on here for introductions but what we did was we kept Mylo in a seperate room for an entire week without any contact with bailey. He needed to trust me before we showed him the big scary cat! We swapped their bedding so the scents transferred throughout that time, and then we spent another week of introductions through a carrier, then laterly through a baby gate type thing, then eventually when there was no growling or hissing we let them have really short meetings of about 10 mins and just increased the frequency. We were super cautious because bailey is a bit of a stress head and he ignored me for an entire week!! He bullied Mylo initially but they soon sort out the pecking order!! How exciting for you getting another kitten, they're just the best!! Are you getting a boy or girl? Good luck, hope it all goes well, would love to hear how you get on! x


----------



## honeysmummy

hi...thanks again for your reply louise...you have been a star :thumbup:

We are thinking of another girl...but will wait to see what the stork brings:lol::lol:

I will be in contact when we get closer to the time and fill you in on whats happened.

So glad everything is starting to work out for your brood...i love their names 

kelly x


----------



## Gratch

Edit - nevermind!


----------



## Taylorbaby

honeysmummy said:


> Hi, do you think the younger your existing cat is...its easier to bring another kitten in. I have posted this question on cat chat and got some helpful replies but would love to hear more....our kitten honey will be 6 months when we possibly get a playmate for her...want her to be ok and not
> feel threatened
> 
> thanks


yes the younger the better!!"


----------



## Kiwi

honeysmummy said:


> hi...thanks again for your reply louise...you have been a star :thumbup:
> 
> We are thinking of another girl...but will wait to see what the stork brings:lol::lol:
> 
> kelly x


I don't know if it's true but when we were thinking about getting a playmate for Sweetie (we decided against in her case), we were told by the rescue centre that a male kitten would be a better match because females are highly territorial about their homes, whereas males naturally seek a wider territory. Anyone know if that's true?


----------



## Louise.hare

I have heard that also! I've heard that females can be much more territorial than neutered males. I love my boys, they are so laid back. When I did my research into whether I should get a male or female kitten with my existing boy, no one, not even google  had a definitive answer, everyone had different opinions. What I did find was that most people thought that integrating a new kitten with an existing male is somewhat easier than with a female. My opinion is that boys are more chilled out and relaxed. I think though a lot of it comes down to personality over gender.


----------



## Kiwi

Interesting. I'd love to know what others think about the male/female debate for a playmate for a female. Bump


----------



## honeysmummy

hi louise.hare....taylorbaby...and kiwi just posted a new thread on cat chat.."a new brother for Honey"

Would love your feedback

thanks


----------

