# I can't cope with my dog anymore. Please help.



## florie (Jul 17, 2011)

Three months ago I found a stray dog in my local woods and brought him home. He's a little neutered terrier cross (prob staff in him) and the vet reckoned he's about 1 year old. I knew when I bought him home that he would need training but for the first month he was so well behaved, never really doing anything to suggest that he needed much training. But lately he has literally been driving me insane. I can hardly walk him anymore as he is so aggressive to other dogs, barking in their faces, pinning them down and growling at them. He goes insane if he's on the lead, lunging at me, my other dog and causing himself harm if I don't let him off (biting at himself, almost strangling himself with his harness). I always walk wherever I know I won't bump into other dogs but there is always a risk. He has excellent recall normally but when he sees a dog in the distance he will literally run at them and ignore my calls. It's like he wants to have a fight, almost saying to the other dog 'come and have a go if you think you're hard enough?...' 

He's a soppy dog with humans, the total opposite to his behavior on a walk. He just can't cope with being left at home alone. He throws himself at the door, jumps on the kitchen table and literally will destroy anything I accidentally leave out, if I don't leave stuff out he will destroy the doors and walls. I have had him in a crate until the other week, but he destroyed the crate, got his head trapped in the wire bars. He gets up on the table if I leave anything there, no matter how many times I discipline him he still does it. I have another dog, a Chocolate Labrador who is so well behaved. It's affecting her as well because he is jealous and possessive of me. I took him home because it was the right thing to do and I've done as much as I can for him but he is destroying my life. I know it sounds over the top but I can't have friends and their dogs over anymore as he is so aggressive. I don't know whether to keep him, keep giving him second chances or think about other options. I'm not giving up, that's not me, but I have to put myself first as he is taking over my life. My heart aches at the thought of putting him into the rescue 'system'. Thanks so much for reading.


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## SleepyBones (Apr 17, 2011)

Taking account of everything you've said & described in your post I think the best thing you can do is put him in a rescue, a dog of that capacity is also a serious welfare risk to other dogs. 

You've done your bit & now the best for you & your long term Lab companion need to get back the life you once had. Maybe Battersea if your near them. If you cant get him in a rescue....well


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## Pupcakes (Jun 20, 2011)

First of all well done for being so kind and generous when taking in this dog and being patient with him  

I'm not very experienced when it comes to dogs, but I didn't just want to read and run. Maybe you could take him to the vets if he "suddenly changed" and turned aggressive. 

Perhaps you could also get a decent behaviourist in, but not someone who uses the dominance theory to train dogs, all hinder, no help 

Sorry I couldn't be of more help, but I am positive more experienced members will chip in and give you some good advice.

Please keep us posted 

xxx


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## 912142 (Mar 28, 2011)

I'm wondering if this is the reason you found him - maybe his previous owner couldn't cope with him.

You could either do as the last post suggested or speak to a behavioural expert to see if it would be worth some indepth training. If not I don't fancy his chances.


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## Jobeth (May 23, 2010)

If you do decide to give him up the Dog's Trust don't put a healthy dog down.


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## Irish Setter Gal (Mar 17, 2011)

It sounds as if his issues are beyond your expertise at this moment in time.

If you are insured ask your vet for a behavioural referral, failing that then a rescue may be the best option for all concerned. You've done your best so far so it's not as if you haven't tried.

If you keep him then I suggest you get a better quality crate - dogs can't get themselves stuck in the bars of the quality ones - they don't bend, sadly you only get what you pay for.


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## SleepyBones (Apr 17, 2011)

Something I forgot - I don't think your Lab should be left alone with him when your out, seprate them at all costs.


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## Irish Setter Gal (Mar 17, 2011)

What the man above has said - *seconded*


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## grandad (Apr 14, 2011)

I think deep down in your "BIG" heart you know the answer to this one


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## florie (Jul 17, 2011)

grandad said:


> I think deep down in your "BIG" heart you know the answer to this one


"big"? why the quotation marks? what are you trying to imply?


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## hazel pritchard (Jun 28, 2009)

please please if hes not safe around other dogs outside when on walks etc ,dont let him off lead , my dog has been set on twice by off lead dogs and its taken so long for him to have confidence around other dogs, in fact he has not got full confidence and i feel its changed him so much


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## Bullymastiff (May 6, 2010)

I agree you should NEVER leave him with your other dog unattended. 
and he should be muzzled when out if he is that aggressive.
I dont think you'll be 'giving up' you took him in and have tried but sometimes it just dosnt work out, not your fault. 
Hes driving you mad, and your poor dog is being affected too, you need to put yourself and your own dog first now. 
It must be heartbreaking i know but you have done your best now maybe time to hand over to someone else


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## tripod (Feb 14, 2010)

Hi florie, welcome to PF. Sorry that you are having trouble with your dog.

Just dropping off this dog with a rescue is not really acceptable IMO, especially now that you are aware of issues with the dog. 

Has the dog been medically evaluated in relation to these issues? Has the dog been behaviourally evaluated?

The most important things here for you and the dog is medical and behaviour evals carried by professionals qualifed to do so. 

It may be an idea to talk to local rescues, which are likely to be overflowing, and ask what their criteria include for taking dogs from members of the public. You may be able to work with their behaviour staff or evaluators to find a solution for you and the dog.

But full disclosure has got to be in there - I am not suggesting that you would do it any other way however.

This dog should not be off leash as the potential to do harm is too great. If he is likely to injure himself on sight of other dogs it is advisable to find a secure area in which the dog can be exercised without him seeing other dogs - as you are probably aware this is difficult to guarantee on public land.
If this is not possible its best to find alternative ways of exercising him at home. This is a management strategy and not necessarily long term.

Your dog is showing a range of anxiety related issues including reactivity, aggression, social conflict, separation related issues, resource guarding and as such will need much work and professional intervention and support.


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## leashedForLife (Nov 1, 2009)

i know that this has been a real eye-opener & a shock, as most people have not dealt with serious behavior issues. 
but please do not write the dog off as unsalvageable - dogs with worse histories have improved with B-mod, 
& there can be physical causes for aggression, as well.

U don't mention if he is intact or neutered - that is the very first thing i'd suggest, if he's intact. 
a 5-way thyroid panel would also be a good precaution - sent to the Michigan State Univ veterinary-lab, 
to be read - they have the world's largest breed-specific database of thyroid values for comparison.

if his test comes back as 'borderline low', i would ask my vet about a short-course of thyroid supplement; 
2 to 3-weeks should tell the tale, if his behavior improves [less irritability, less reactive], that's a good sign.

i very much agree with Tripod - 


tripod said:


> The most important things [are] medical & behaviour evals, carried by professionals qualifed to do so.
> 
> ...talk to local rescues, ...ask what their criteria include for taking dogs from members of the public.
> You may be able to work with their behaviour staff or evaluators to find a solution for you and the dog.
> ...


psychoactive medications might be helpful; a veterinary behaviorist [a vet board-certified in behavior] 
could evaluate him, & may prescribe an SSRI or an anti-anxiety drug, which is not a cure, but will greatly ease 
B-Mod by reducing the intensity of his behavior, & putting him in a state where he can learn new behavior.

even without a prescription, *calmatives* can be very helpful - 
Pet Forums Community - View Single Post - dog body-language - and why it matters so much...

i'd choose a minimum of 3 - one oral, one tactile, & one olfactory. 
EX, Rescue-Remedy liquid, T-touch body-wrap with a 4-inch Ace-bandage, & DAP pump-spray.

a front-clip H-harness will make controlling him much easier, but of course, other dogs need to be protected, 
& the H-harness with a chest-ring & the leash clipped there, greatly reduces his leverage & makes control easy. 
there is no need for brute force or enormous upper-body exertion; controlling him from the chest is minimal force.

he needs to be *under threshold* so that he does not continue to practice unwanted behavior: 
the more he repeats any behavior, the deeper that rut is worn. Practice makes permanent.

a habituated headcollar [a Halti or, even better, a Gentle-Leader] will take approximately 7-days to be 
introduced with treats so that he puts it on HIS OWN FACE, then associated with good things until he sees it, 
& is immediately happy, anticipating a walk, training with treats, & so on; up until then, he has worn it FIRST 
for meals only [2 or 3 days, twice daily]; then for meals AND walks, but with the leash on the H-harness; 
then for training games indoors... after a week or so, when he sees it with delight, NOW - the leash goes on 
the chin-strap for the first time. A short, briskly-moving 5-minute walk with the leash on the headcollar is plenty, 
for that first use; bear in mind that HEAVY hardware & wide, hefty leashes are not needed, either, with a 
headcollar; the extra weight is not only un-needed but makes the dog fuss: the weight hangs on his nose, 
& the dog will try to thumb-off the noseband.

this is a similar conditioning-process with a box-muzzle - 
‪Conditioning Your Dog to a Muzzle‬‏ - YouTube

the book _'Click to Calm'_ is an excellent DIY-manual, if there are no local *credentialed* behaviorists. 
i'd try the local library [via interlibrary loan, if they have no copy on the local shelves].

COAPE, APBC or a CAAB are all reputable sources for a behaviorist. 
a veterinary-behaviorist is the top of the profession; most CAABs have a vet-partner to write prescriptions.


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## piano11raju (Jul 16, 2011)

florie said:


> Three months ago I found a stray dog in my local woods and brought him home. He's a little neutered terrier cross (prob staff in him) and the vet reckoned he's about 1 year old. I knew when I bought him home that he would need training but for the first month he was so well behaved, never really doing anything to suggest that he needed much training. But lately he has literally been driving me insane. I can hardly walk him anymore as he is so aggressive to other dogs, barking in their faces, pinning them down and growling at them. He goes insane if he's on the lead, lunging at me, my other dog and causing himself harm if I don't let him off (biting at himself, almost strangling himself with his harness). I always walk wherever I know I won't bump into other dogs but there is always a risk. He has excellent recall normally but when he sees a dog in the distance he will literally run at them and ignore my calls. It's like he wants to have a fight, almost saying to the other dog 'come and have a go if you think you're hard enough?...'
> 
> He's a soppy dog with humans, the total opposite to his behavior on a walk. He just can't cope with being left at home alone. He throws himself at the door, jumps on the kitchen table and literally will destroy anything I accidentally leave out, if I don't leave stuff out he will destroy the doors and walls. I have had him in a crate until the other week, but he destroyed the crate, got his head trapped in the wire bars. He gets up on the table if I leave anything there, no matter how many times I discipline him he still does it. I have another dog, a Chocolate Labrador who is so well behaved. It's affecting her as well because he is jealous and possessive of me. I took him home because it was the right thing to do and I've done as much as I can for him but he is destroying my life. I know it sounds over the top but I can't have friends and their dogs over anymore as he is so aggressive. I don't know whether to keep him, keep giving him second chances or think about other options. I'm not giving up, that's not me, but I have to put myself first as he is taking over my life. My heart aches at the thought of putting him into the rescue 'system'. Thanks so much for reading.


You will need an animal behaviorist. That is the only option left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

I do sympathise, and I have to agree that you need a qualified behaviourist. I just wanted to add, make sure you get someone who really is qualified. Have a look on the APBC website or the APDT website. These people are highly qualified. You do not want any Dog Listeners, franchise companies like Bark Busters, or anything else of that nature. Nor do you want anyone who tells you he is being dominant and you have to be his pack leader.

This little dog has had a rough time and he is now getting his confidence back. I can understand why you might want to give up and get your life back, and your first dog really must be priority, and I would not try to influence your decision.

I just want to make sure you know that anyone is allowed to call themselves a trainer or behaviourist, with no experience and no knowledge and no qualifications.

Let us know how you get on, please.


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## SleepyBones (Apr 17, 2011)

If you want to contemplate employing a behaviourist I suggest you first make sure how much its all going to cost you & you will probably be talking serious money going out for quite a long time to come with this dog. Some of them come round the first time only to assess the situation & offer you a course of some kind that would be very unlikley to cost less than £100 before you start anything. With a dog like that, IF anything could be done that you could actually apply, it might go on for a couple of years with regular vists from a behaviourist, so before considering employing someone check your budget, the case below the behaviourst sounded very cheap, lol, read it for yourself, this is no isolated case!

Note - There are NO refunds from these people if it does not work! these are hard bitten buisness people, never forget that.

Pet owners experience of a Battersea recomended behaviourist.

_We got him as a rescue from Battersea some 4 years ago when he was about 18months old. He was considered borderline as unsuitable for re-homing. He had been raised in a home with domestic violence and appeared to not have seen very much of outside life... even birds were completely new to him!! He spent the first 3 months with us peeing if you so much as made eye contact with him. I have owned labs all my life and thought with time and patience I could help him to overcome his early set backs. Walking him was a complete nightmare. We live in Xxxxxxx and every time he saw anything to chase he would vanish. The park is full of rabbits, hare, deer, squirrels, pheasant, partridge etc etc. We resorted to just walking him on a lead as we lost him so many times but as I have a lower back problem this was not a solution we could work with.

The follow up visit from Battersea was amusing. The inspector couldn't believe how dreadful he was when she came to see us six months after we had rehomed him and I am not lying when I say he had improved dramatically by that time. By then he only wee'd if people he didn't know went to stroke him but the walking was still completely disastrous.

At this point we enlisted the help of a Battersea recommended behavourist. We did one to one sessions with her weekly at a cost of £30 per session. He was amazingly good at touching the lid of a coffee jar with his nose in the confines of our kitchen or a small enclosed kitchen but even she despaired when we tried to walk him outside our garden. After 6 months she told us that she was moving to Southampton.... we asked her to recommend somebody else for us to continue our training with and her response was "sometimes you just have to accept that you have got what you have got"!!!_I]*(NIce of her to be so honest once she had taken nearly £1000 from us for training....)*[/I]

,


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## Blondie (Feb 27, 2011)

I would also ask about diet - what are you feeding him?? A healthy diet cahnge can work wonders regarding behaviour problems.

I would putting this dog on a raw diet ASAP for a start!

Also, what happened in the first month to change his behaviour?? Was he ill? Did you have him vaccinated? If so, perhaps he had already been vax and tyou've doubled up and he has brain damage as a result. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it does happen, I dont mean to make it sound nasty on you.

Canine Vaccination

After all this, I do think his behaviour sounds extreme, and you cant save them all.....................


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## lucylastic (Apr 9, 2011)

Florie, think long and hard about whether you are going to keep this dog before you do anything. As has already been said, the road to recovery will be long and expensive with no guarantee of success. And along the way your relationship with your first dog may suffer. I admire what you have done but owning a dog needs to be a pleasure and it doesn't sound as though you are getting much of that just now.
If you decide to keep it, you must be sure in your mind that you are prepared for a lifetime of commitment.
I have a dog who has been very difficult to put it mildly and I know that I could not have coped with another and neither could my dog. 
In your situation I would either ask a rescue centre to take him or if they could/would not I would have him PTS. Sorry if that offends anyone. I am the first to say they all deserve the best chance, but knowing that I could not keep him, I would not want him passed on in and out of rescue centres, which is the fate awaiting many of these dogs. 
Sad though it is, we can't save them all.
There has been lots of good advice given about how to help his problems, but first decide whether you have the time/money/commitment/desire needed. This issue is not just about this dog. It is also about you, your other dog, your family, and other dogs you meet. I wish you luck with whichever road you choose.


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## Burrowzig (Feb 18, 2009)

florie said:


> Three months ago I found a stray dog in my local woods and brought him home. He's a little *neutered* terrier cross (prob staff in him) and the vet reckoned he's about 1 year old. I knew when I bought him home that he would need training but for the first month he was so well behaved, never really doing anything to suggest that he needed much training. But lately he has literally been driving me insane. I can hardly walk him anymore as he is so aggressive to other dogs, barking in their faces, pinning them down and growling at them. He goes insane if he's on the lead, lunging at me, my other dog and causing himself harm if I don't let him off (biting at himself, almost strangling himself with his harness). I always walk wherever I know I won't bump into other dogs but there is always a risk. He has excellent recall normally but when he sees a dog in the distance he will literally run at them and ignore my calls. It's like he wants to have a fight, almost saying to the other dog 'come and have a go if you think you're hard enough?...'
> 
> He's a soppy dog with humans, the total opposite to his behavior on a walk. He just can't cope with being left at home alone. He throws himself at the door, jumps on the kitchen table and literally will destroy anything I accidentally leave out, if I don't leave stuff out he will destroy the doors and walls. I have had him in a crate until the other week, but he destroyed the crate, got his head trapped in the wire bars. He gets up on the table if I leave anything there, no matter how many times I discipline him he still does it. I have another dog, a Chocolate Labrador who is so well behaved. It's affecting her as well because he is jealous and possessive of me. I took him home because it was the right thing to do and I've done as much as I can for him but he is destroying my life. I know it sounds over the top but I can't have friends and their dogs over anymore as he is so aggressive. I don't know whether to keep him, keep giving him second chances or think about other options. I'm not giving up, that's not me, but I have to put myself first as he is taking over my life. My heart aches at the thought of putting him into the rescue 'system'. Thanks so much for reading.


LFL, it does say he's neutered - rather young maybe if he's only around a year old.

OP - Was he checked for the previous owner's microchip? They could be looking for him if he ran off rather than was dumped. Did you post him up on DogLost when he was found? Did you report him to the dog warden when you found him (a legal duty)?

Clearly big issues that I'm in no position to offere advice for.


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## Irish Setter Gal (Mar 17, 2011)

florie said:


> "big"? why the quotation marks? what are you trying to imply?


You may be over reacting a little if you can take offence at a pat on the back for having a big enough heart to get this far. I am convinced he meant nothing by that comment other than what he said. 
Tough times for you at the moment, but try not to lash out.


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