# Think we may have to rehome our border terrier :-(



## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

We have 2 border terriers, Fudge the male is 2 in August, he is a beautiful boy, and is soft as a brush. We also have Holly who is 2 in October. 

Our circumstances have changed, my husbands job is longer hours, I have 3 children and I am finding looking after 2 much harder, and I struggle to walk the 2 of them on my own I am only little, hehe. My husband has to work away a few nights a week now so it is all on me to take care of them both.

I feel terrible and am worried sick that Holly is going to hate me for taking Fudge away from her Silly of me to think that maybe but I can't help it, I feel terrible. I feel so sad and sick to the stomach when I think of him going, but my husband and I agree Holly is the smallest of the 2, and she would be easier to keep as a house dog. Fudge is abit bigger and stronger, hehe. He is used to being around children, and is fab with other animals, I have a cat and he is fine with her.

He is toilet trained, eats well and is a lovely little boy. He is a pedigree border terrier but my husband didn't get papers for him, which is a shame but still does not stop him being a gorgeous little boy.

I am feeling so upset by this but I know it will be kinder to him as I just cannot give him the time and attention he needs on my own with 3 little ones to look after aswell. I know I will have Holly but only having 1 would be alot easier, I hope anyway and I can still manage to walk her. I would hate to see them both go.

Am I a bad person?


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## Guest (Jun 6, 2010)

wonderfull dogs wish i lived nearer to you:thumbup:


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

I feel terrible, he is a wonderful dog and we will all be so so sad to see him go:-((((((

I just really want him to go to a good home.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

i dont mean to be funny im just saying my opinion if you can keep one then you should be able to keep 2 really its just about training them properly on the lead and then you could walk them on your own no problem......... is the fact that you cant walk the 2 of them together the only reason for rehoming????


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

No it isn't the only reason, with hubby working away I just find it hard juggling the 3 children and the dogs. Fudge is a slightly bigger dog and the children seem to get him rather excited, Holly tends to not get involved in it and just sits and watches, although Fudge isn't a lively dog as in wild or anythin he gets too excited with the kids and tends to bark, when hubby is around I have extra help to calm the kids down, maybe I should rehome them, haha. It is just hard work having the 2 right now.

I don't want to be flamed for this, I feel awful as it is.


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## Matrix/Logan (May 7, 2009)

That is such a shame. I would certainly think very hard about rehoming one of them as you may make more problems for yourself as your little female may miss him to the point where she becomes more demanding on your attention and time, she may need you to take over her 'entertainment' instead of your little male?? Therefore becoming more work for you and your family, also she could suffer from seperation issues with no companion at home when you have to leave her?

Sorry to sound negative but just pointing out some of the reasons people get another dog and some of the problems single dogs have! 

Are you sure you couldn't maybe pair up with a friend who may not have a dog but who would perhaps love to go for a walk every day with you and yours? Or maybe enrol the children in hide and seek treat games with the dogs to help tire them out so they are less in need of a long walk so you could do a shorter route maybe??

Hope all goes well with whatever you decide. X


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> No it isn't the only reason, with hubby working away I just find it hard juggling the 3 children and the dogs. Fudge is a slightly bigger dog and the children seem to get him rather excited, Holly tends to not get involved in it and just sits and watches, although Fudge isn't a lively dog as in wild or anythin he gets too excited with the kids and tends to bark, when hubby is around I have extra help to calm the kids down, maybe I should rehome them, haha. It is just hard work having the 2 right now.
> 
> I don't want to be flamed for this, I feel awful as it is.


im not having ago at you dont take it that way......

maybe try set up a strict routine for the 2 of them........

im just trying to paint a picture in my head thats all so i can offer advice


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

Why are you thinking of rehoming so quickly?? Why don't you see if you can get a dog walker for some days?? Dogs are for keeps even when things aren't going smoothly
Why do you think it will be 'kinder' for the dogs if you got rid of one? I can't see it myself


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

I think its up to the OP we cant say anything as we arn't in the situation. we dont have 3 children and 2 dogs to deal with. Every person is different and I think its responsible to realise your limits. Sadly their circumstances have changed.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

yes but its also her responsibility to keep the dog for they life time i do understand things change but rehoming should be first prota-call in my view and im sure many others would agree try other options first before giving up all hope.... and as pointed out by someone if she does rehome the boy then the girl might and very well could become more demanding and miss him


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

But wasn't there a saying 'A dog is for life .....' ?????


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## brackensmom (Jun 15, 2009)

Matrix/Logan said:


> That is such a shame. I would certainly think very hard about rehoming one of them as you may make more problems for yourself as your little female may miss him to the point where she becomes more demanding on your attention and time, she may need you to take over her 'entertainment' instead of your little male?? Therefore becoming more work for you and your family, also she could suffer from seperation issues with no companion at home when you have to leave her?
> 
> Sorry to sound negative but just pointing out some of the reasons people get another dog and some of the problems single dogs have!
> 
> ...


Well said, i know this is a very hard decision but just want to agree with all that Matrix/logan has said, i also have 2 dogs, and i know if either of them got seperated now it would be harder work going back to 1 dog.
Hope you can sort things out which ever decision you are going with. Thinking of you.


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

I agree a dog is for life, But i am not in this posters situation in the fact i dont have 3 kids to look after. Yeah the other dog may miss him, but like anything else she would cope in time. I hope they can sort things out but if not then they'll have to do what they feel is best


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> We have 2 border terriers, Fudge the male is 2 in August, he is a beautiful boy, and is soft as a brush. We also have Holly who is 2 in October.
> 
> Our circumstances have changed, my husbands job is longer hours, I have 3 children and I am finding looking after 2 much harder, and I struggle to walk the 2 of them on my own I am only little, hehe. My husband has to work away a few nights a week now so it is all on me to take care of them both.
> 
> ...


We adopted charlie our cocker though similar circumstances to yours, he came from a very devoted owner, she has 2 small children only her husband walked out on them so she had to take up full time work, so he was left alone longer than he had ever been used to, they, her and her husband used to take it in turns to walk him so someone was there for the youngsters, it was very hard for her to give charlie the exercise he needed when she was on her own, so decided he had to be rehomed, the best for him he is 5 and she had,had him from 9 weeks she was devastated and did say "ive failed him,havnt i? but as i said we only fail our animals when we dont do the best for them. She has another dog he is now 13 a staffie she rescued with 3 legs bless him so is much,much easier to manage and since charlie left he has been fine it has had no effect on him at all. So whatever you decide i do hope you make the right decision we can only make our decisions on how things are now and if you feel its unmanagable then you have to do what you have to do, so good luck with it all and i hope it all works out for the best.


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

Yes but lets not kid ourselves that it really what best for the OP *NOT *the dogs. Sorry but all this 'i feel awful but I'm doing what's best for them' isn't true
I am *constantly *amazed by so called pet lovers who so quickly get rid of their animals


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

it is what's best for them or him in this case, the op could keep him with Holly but they may not get as much attention/walks as before, we dont know how their routine is now and what it will be like later do we? It really gets me all this negative stuff.


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## alaun (Jul 21, 2009)

I hope you don't mind me posting this link Jem, but it explains in greater detail what you have been going through.

When I read your first post on here I did feel it was a cop out. I'm a 'small' mum of 3 children and 4 large/giant breeds who's husband works nights - so I did feel that it was a poor excuse for rehoming.

Having reread this thread it becomes clear that you have been having more problems for quite a while. It may give people a different view point.

http://www.petforums.co.uk/dog-chat/92231-no-sure-what-do-re-my-dogs.html

Hope things work out for you


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

What gets me is all this *rehoming *stuff!!!


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## katie200 (May 11, 2009)

i kinda know how you feel because a friend of mine had 2dog and 4 cats 2 kids and she just left he husband and she was going to rehome 2 cat and 1 dog because thing became really hard for her but first she went to see her vet who helped her find a dog waker that wasnt two much and she looked into like a home away frome home dog center so twice a weak they was not at home to try and see if she could cope because she didnt want to give them up im not saying she finding it easy but she give it a month befor makeing up her mind because she worrie about pineing maby you should talk to your vet if not maby you should rehome him just make sure you find the right people good luck


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

Cleo38 said:


> What gets me is all this *rehoming *stuff!!!


sometimes its unavoidable though, I have dogs and would never rehome ...... but how can i look into the future? their maybe a time i might have to so I dont judge people. I really hope i never have to though because i love them so much


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

I would do ANYTHING rather than rehome my dog or cats that's why I'm amazed at why a dogwalker hasn't beeon considered. I just can't undersatnd how you could plit up 2 dogs just becuase you can't give them enough attention????


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## Natik (Mar 9, 2008)

I think this situation can be easily sorted by trying to get a dog walker in for instance and there are ways to work on the excitment and the barking as well....

What have u tried so far jem?


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## Miss.PuddyCat (Jul 13, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> I would do ANYTHING rather than rehome my dog or cats that's why I'm amazed at why a dogwalker hasn't beeon considered. I just can't undersatnd how you could plit up 2 dogs just becuase you can't give them enough attention????


The op may not want someone she doesnt know to come into her house to walk her dogs, I know I wouldnt.


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

I would do anything too within reason. we dont know the situation properly the 2 dogs may not be close (not all are) so they may not mind being split up. I just feel for the OP i wouldn't like to be in her situation.


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

Reading through previous posts ..., what happened to the shitzu the OP also had?


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## Matrix/Logan (May 7, 2009)

alaun said:


> I hope you don't mind me posting this link Jem, but it explains in greater detail what you have been going through.
> 
> When I read your first post on here I did feel it was a cop out. I'm a 'small' mum of 3 children and 4 large/giant breeds who's husband works nights - so I did feel that it was a poor excuse for rehoming.
> 
> ...


Okay a little bit more explained, but i still think the bitch may miss him and become more demanding. What about using his terrier instincts in your yard? Maybe hiding food treats around (the children would enjoy doing this i am sure) then letting him loose to 'find them', fill a sandpit with shredded paper and hide treats in it, boxes with treats hidden, toilet roll holders! Believe me when you mentally challenge them they tire very quickly and are therfore less 'hpyer' and this way everyone is getting involved and helping you?!

Failing that hun, if you really do need to rehome him, have you tried contacting the breed rescue to see if they can help?

I hope it all goes well and it must be really tough for you. XXX


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

I don't know but isn't that irrelevant to this thread?


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

Matrix/Logan said:


> Okay a little bit more explained, but i still think the bitch may miss him and become more demanding. What about using his terrier instincts in your yard? Maybe hiding food treats around (the children would enjoy doing this i am sure) then letting him loose to 'find them', fill a sandpit with shredded paper and hide treats in it, boxes with treats hidden, toilet roll holders! Believe me when you mentally challenge them they tire very quickly and are therfore less 'hpyer' and this way everyone is getting involved and helping you?!
> 
> Failing that hun, if you really do need to rehome him, have you tried contacting the breed rescue to see if they can help?
> 
> I hope it all goes well and it must be really tough for you. XXX


this is brilliant advice. If you do decide to re home could you not get a friend to take Fudge? that way you could still see him and maybe Holly could too


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

DKDREAM said:


> I don't know but isn't that irrelevant to this thread?


I just wondered if that dog was rehomed for its own good as well?


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

we dont know the situation so cant comment


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

No ..... funny though ....


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> Yes but lets not kid ourselves that it really what best for the OP *NOT *the dogs. Sorry but all this 'i feel awful but I'm doing what's best for them' isn't true
> I am *constantly *amazed by so called pet lovers who so quickly get rid of their animals


It was certainly best for charlie, it wasnt fair for him to have everything taken away from him his time with humans and his time walking, well running around he's a cocker so his needs was the same as my dogs are so he's now back to his long walks/runs in the fields and woods and is very happy we have just come back fron a week in the peak district and they have all had a ball, we are still intouch with his previous owner in fact she is coming to see him tommorrow so its turned out very well.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Thank you for your replies.

Can I just say I love my pets, we all do and never ever would we just 'rehome' for the sake of things. My DH and I separated at the end of last year, we got back together and are working hard at our marriage, so yes circumstances do change and I wont justify myself to anyone, but I will say that I love my pets and would never do this if I didn't think it was for the best. 

My husband has to work away now for his job, that isn't easy for me at all and juggling everything else.

As I said I really don't want to go into too much detail but I had a misscarrage recently and have suffered quite abit of ill health, so as you can see I have had a heck of alot on my plate.

I am a good person and do not deserve to be flamed for this. Our dogs are well behaved and very well looked after, they want for nothing and are no ill treated, it is all just due to personal circumstances that we are 'considering' this. 

Yes Fudge is abit of a barker and we have tried MANY things to combat this, including a trainer, so barking in the house when the children excite him, which is often done with having 3 lively children

I would like to say that Nessa our shitzu went to live with my mum when my husband and I separated for 3 months, she took good care of her for me until I was on my feet, well that was the plan, but now they won't part with eachother, and my mum is on her own so I said Nessa can stay there and we see her alot, almost every other day

This is just something we are considering due to my husband working away alot now and my ill health. I have to think of my own limits and what I am able to do right now, I really do not deserve to be treated like a bad person!!I have just had a very difficult 9 months recently, and alot of bad luck. :frown:


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

Sorry but you are still rehoming your dog for your sake, please don't pretend its for your dogs


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

I agree with you Jem, you should not be flamed, Good luck in whatever you decide to do, I know you love your animals very much.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Cleo as I said I am finding things difficult, so of course some of it is for my sake!!!!! I am not denying that, circumstances change though and at the moment I am struggling alot, so in turn the dogs do suffer by not getting their long walks and as much attention, so some of it I think is for their sakes!


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you for your replies.
> 
> Can I just say I love my pets, we all do and never ever would we just 'rehome' for the sake of things. My DH and I separated at the end of last year, we got back together and are working hard at our marriage, so yes circumstances do change and I wont justify myself to anyone, but I will say that I love my pets and would never do this if I didn't think it was for the best.
> 
> ...


You are not a bad person at all and although ive adopted charlie i do remember due to very different circumstances to you had to rehome a dog, in fact he was due to be p.t.s but luckily someone did come forward and was brave enough to take him on, so for all we went through 7 months of hell we was devastated to even admit he had to go, so for all the people who say they would never all i can say is "never say never" and i do understand it does seem harsh for people that can manage their dogs or who have never been in the unfortunate position to have to go through rehoming, it is devastating.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Thank you DK Dream, that means alot, I appreciate your supportive reply.

I kept rabbits, dogs and hamsters for many years when I lived at home with my parents, so of course none of this is easy for me, I would never think of giving my pets up just like that, I have just had a tough time over the last 9-12 months in my relationship. It certainly isn't an easy decision.


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

Welll good luck then I hope you'll be very happy with your decision in rehoming ANOTHER pet....


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

haeveymolly said:


> You are not a bad person at all and although ive adopted charlie i do remember due to very different circumstances to you had to rehome a dog, in fact he was due to be p.t.s but luckily someone did come forward and was brave enough to take him on, so for all we went through 7 months of hell we was devastated to even admit he had to go, so for all the people who say they would never all i can say is "never say never" and i do understand it does seem harsh for people that can manage their dogs or who have never been in the unfortunate position to have to go through rehoming, it is devastating.


I couldnt agree more like i said id never re home any of my dogs, but i cant say hat as i dont know what will happen in the future,


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you DK Dream, that means alot, I appreciate your supportive reply.
> 
> I kept rabbits, dogs and hamsters for many years when I lived at home with my parents, so of course none of this is easy for me, I would never think of giving my pets up just like that, I have just had a tough time over the last 9-12 months in my relationship. It certainly isn't an easy decision.


i can understand that, could your mum not look after Fudge for you for a while, so you give yourself a break?


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Thank you HM. It is far from easy, and no people should not judge, I can't believe some of the people on this site, how they upset people without thinking about how they may feel.

My husband and I had a tough year and we have struggled with our dogs, I admit that, but circumstances change and I have suffered too because of it. Now we are back together and working hard at our marriage, things are abit more stressful as his job sends him away so much now


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## alaun (Jul 21, 2009)

Sometimes you have to be realistic, if things aren't going well and you aren't coping then you do have to look at alternatives. For both the dog's and owner's sake. 

I would like to think that I will never be in a situation where i have to rehome, but I cannot guarantee that will never happen. God only knows what lays around the corner. 

I do agree that rehoming dogs without trying alternatives is not good enough, but I think it is obvious that Jem has tried and is having a very difficult time at the moment.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

I did think about that but she has her hands ful with Nessa and her grandson who she looks after for my sister when she is working, so I don't feel I can ask really. She was a star looking after Nessa for me when I moved out and got my own place sorted, when it came to me going back and trying to work things out with my husband she asked if she could keep Nessa


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

DKDREAM said:


> I couldnt agree more like i said id never re home any of my dogs, but i cant say hat as i dont know what will happen in the future,


I can understand you saying you would never rehome your dogs i have 3 lovely well behaved, managable dogs so i would say the same of course i wouldnt rehome my dogs, but having been there i do know that if things are different then it does sometimes come to that.


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> I did think about that but she has her hands ful with Nessa and her grandson who she looks after for my sister when she is working, so I don't feel I can ask really. She was a star looking after Nessa for me when I moved out and got my own place sorted, when it came to me going back and trying to work things out with my husband she asked if she could keep Nessa


ah bless her she sounds a lovely women. I can fully understand you getting upset, it cant be easy. Do you not have any close friends who would look after him for a while? so it would be one less stress?


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> What gets me is all this *rehoming *stuff!!!





Cleo38 said:


> Sorry but you are still rehoming your dog for your sake, please don't pretend its for your dogs


I hope hard times never fall on you as it would be a very hard fall of your high horse

Sometimes pets need rehoming it happens.... The BIGGER owner is the one that admits its too much and rehomes the pet resonsibly into a better enviroment where ALL its needs can be met.... Surely the worse situation is where a pet is suffering and the owner buries there head in the sand

If Jem cant put her hand on her heart and say she is giving her dogs all they need/deserve and decides to rehome them to a better circumstance THEN GOOD ON HER.... I hope all turns out well and please keep us updated


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> Cleo as I said I am finding things difficult, so of course some of it is for my sake!!!!! I am not denying that, circumstances change though and at the moment I am struggling alot, so in turn the dogs do suffer by not getting their long walks and as much attention, so some of it I think is for their sakes!


ok thats fair enough then you should maybe think about rehoming them both if you arent going to be able to give them a good walk.... if its not fair for them both then why is it fair for the on to suffer by not getting walked enough....

i also willing to bet that the two dog on a short walk off lead would defo run and cover much more distance playing together than one dog on a short walk

i dont mean to flame you its just my opinion


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

haeveymolly said:


> I can understand you saying you would never rehome your dogs i have 3 lovely well behaved, managable dogs so i would say the same of course i wouldnt rehome my dogs, but having been there i do know that if things are different then it does sometimes come to that.


I fully agree with you. I feel sorry for anyone who has to go through it.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Thank you Alaun.

That is exactly right, we re being realistic. I have had a tough 9-12 months here at home with my husband, we are back together now and working well at our marriage and our children are happy. We have been together 11 yrs, so we are very commited to our family, we just had something that happened last year that chucked a spanner in the works (mother in laws should be banned, lol), but that is overcome now I am happy to say 

As I said since coming back I had an unexpected pregnancy which resulted in a misscarrage, which has left me with a few problems since the operation. Now with hubby working away, his job is very important to him and i knew in time it would possibly send him away from home now and again, just not this frequent so it is difficult for us all. I am by no means saying it is just for the dogs sake!!


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Cleo38 said:


> Sorry but you are still rehoming your dog for your sake, please don't pretend its for your dogs


If you dont like this thread, I suggest you stay off it. There is no need to be the way you are being. You are not in this situation, you do not know what the OP has been through. In fact you dont know the OP at all. Dont judge people when you have very little to go by. Please stay off here unless you are going to give real information and not just flame. Its not fair and its not right.

OP, if you feel that the dogs are suffering due to less walks and not enough attention and you are suffering cause you are struggling and under alot of pressure then you need to do the right thing for everyones sake. I know its heart breaking, but its your decision and you need to do the right thing.

Good luck in whatever you decide.


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

HarryHamster2 said:


> If you dont like this thread, I suggest you stay off it. There is no need to be the way you are being. You are not in this situation, you do not know what the OP has been through. In fact you dont know the OP at all. Dont judge people when you have very little to go by. Please stay off here unless you are going to give real information and not just flame. Its not fair and its not right.
> 
> OP, if you feel that the dogs are suffering due to less walks and not enough attention and you are suffering cause you are struggling and under alot of pressure then you need to do the right thing for everyones sake. I know its heart breaking, but its your decision and you need to do the right thing.
> 
> Good luck in whatever you decide.


er ... this is a forum where people post their opinions whether they agree or not. The fact that so many people on here rehome (get rid) of their pets upsets me alot (strange that being a PET forum)


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

ClaireLouise said:


> I hope hard times never fall on you as it would be a very hard fall of your high horse
> 
> Sometimes pets need rehoming it happens.... The BIGGER owner is the one that admits its too much and rehomes the pet resonsibly into a better enviroment where ALL its needs can be met.... Surely the worse situation is where a pet is suffering and the owner buries there head in the sand
> 
> If Jem cant put her hand on her heart and say she is giving her dogs all they need/deserve and decides to rehome them to a better circumstance THEN GOOD ON HER.... I hope all turns out well and please keep us updated


Thank you so much for your reply, it means alot to me. This is by no means an easy decision and I don't think I deserve the c**p I am getting from some of the people on here to be honest, I am a good person and as much as I am saying it would be easier for ME, I am also saying it would be kinder to him.

It is something we are just considering at this moment in time, I told hubby I was struggling with the 2 dogs and he agreed that it is too much for me since the operation and him now having to work away a few nights a week. Fudge is not a naughty dog but yes out of the 2 he is the little tinker and the barker so takes some telling at times, but he is well trained other than that, he is a pleasure to have about the place and I love him dearly. We are just in talks at the moment, but it didn't stop me feeling very worried and upset about it all, I wish I never posted now though


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Cleo38 said:


> er ... this is a forum where people post their opinions whether they agree or not. The fact that so many people on here rehome (get rid) of their pets upsets me alot (strange that being a PET forum)


Cleo I can understand it would upset you, it would upset me if I read someone was just getting rid of their pets willy nilly, like those who buy pets at christmas then leave them at the side of the bloody road int he new year because they don't want them. I am sorry but I am not one of those people and I don't think I deserve to be spoken to the way you have spoken to me, so if you can't say anything constructive I would rather you didn't say anything at all. I have been through enough recently thank you very much.


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you so much for your reply, it means alot to me. This is by no means an easy decision and I don't think I deserve the c**p I am getting from some of the people on here to be honest, I am a good person and as much as I am saying it would be easier for ME, I am also saying it would be kinder to him.
> 
> It is something we are just considering at this moment in time, I told hubby I was struggling with the 2 dogs and he agreed that it is too much for me since the operation and him now having to work away a few nights a week. Fudge is not a naughty dog but yes out of the 2 he is the little tinker and the barker so takes some telling at times, but he is well trained other than that, he is a pleasure to have about the place and I love him dearly. We are just in talks at the moment, but it didn't stop me feeling very worried and upset about it all, I wish I never posted now though


remember you could PM the nice people on this thread if you need a chat. It must be awful coping with the cr*p on here too.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

HarryHamster2 said:


> If you dont like this thread, I suggest you stay off it. There is no need to be the way you are being. You are not in this situation, you do not know what the OP has been through. In fact you dont know the OP at all. Dont judge people when you have very little to go by. Please stay off here unless you are going to give real information and not just flame. Its not fair and its not right.
> 
> OP, if you feel that the dogs are suffering due to less walks and not enough attention and you are suffering cause you are struggling and under alot of pressure then you need to do the right thing for everyones sake. I know its heart breaking, but its your decision and you need to do the right thing.
> 
> Good luck in whatever you decide.


Thank you very much for your reply, it means alot.

I am not the kind of person who just rehomes her pets when she loses interest, that is why Cleo's comments are hurtful, that isn't my situation at all. Thisis heartbreaking to all concerned. I am just wondering if it may be fairer to the dogs and easier on myself. Maybe that is selfish of me, but given my personal circumstances, maybe not


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

Jem29 said:


> Cleo I can understand it would upset you, it would upset me if I read someone was just getting rid of their pets willy nilly, like those who buy pets at christmas then leave them at the side of the bloody road int he new year because they don't want them. I am sorry but I am not one of those people and I don't think I deserve to be spoken to the way you have spoken to me, so if you can't say anything constructive I would rather you didn't say anything at all. I have been through enough recently thank you very much.


I have am sorry but I do have strong opionons on this & am fed up of reading time & time again on here of people getting rid of their animals. I'm sorry if my opinion upsets you but what did you really expect; everyone saying 'oh poor you' & not voicing an opinion to sday that rehoming your dog is wrong?


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> er ... this is a forum where people post their opinions whether they agree or not. The fact that so many people on here rehome (get rid) of their pets upsets me alot (strange that being a PET forum)


Can I just say rehoming is not just a matter of GETTING RID. I hope your circumstances never change beyond your control...... same as I said before it would be a hard fall of your high horse..... Things change in life sometimes and people have no control over them.... the better person admits this and does whats best for there pets


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Cleo38 said:


> er ... this is a forum where people post their opinions whether they agree or not. The fact that so many people on here rehome (get rid) of their pets upsets me alot (strange that being a PET forum)


Your replys are not necessary and as someone has said its in the rules about flaming. What you are told to do is, if you dont like what is written dont post. Unless its a post where opinions have been asked for. The OP asked for advice, not opinions!


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Cleo38 said:


> I have am sorry but I do have strong opionons on this & am fed up of reading time & time again on here of people getting rid of their animals. I'm sorry if my opinion upsets you but what did you really expect; everyone saying 'oh poor you' & not voicing an opinion to sday that rehoming your dog is wrong?


No Cleo I am not after tea and sympathy, I just wanted abit of support I guess. It is far from easy even considering this.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> er ... this is a forum where people post their opinions whether they agree or not. The fact that so many people on here rehome (get rid) of their pets upsets me alot (strange that being a PET forum)


Ime sure it does upset you, but what should upset us is the dog owners that get a dog for whatever reason some good, some bad then find out they cant meet their needs and DO just that DONT meet their needs, thats been unfair, unfair is not putting our own feelings aside and doing whats best for the dogs. In my book a happy owner= a happy dog.


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## rocco33 (Dec 27, 2009)

Sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in. I hope you manage to work it out one way or another, and am not going to judge you, but this part of your post did make me think.



> so barking in the house when the children excite him, which is often done with having 3 lively children


I don't know how old your children are, but it is never too young for children to learn how they should treat dogs. If they are winding him up then really they shouldn't be, so you could turn this to a positive situation for both the children and the dogs by teaching them how to behave around them.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

ClaireLouise said:


> Can I just say rehoming is not just a matter of GETTING RID. I hope your circumstances never change beyond your control...... same as I said before it would be a hard fall of your high horse..... Things change in life sometimes and people have no control over them.... the better person admits this and does whats best for there pets


Well said ClaireLouise, that is so true. I am not one of those people who would 'get rid', I am a very dedicated pet owner, and have been since I was very young, so do no judge me.


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

ClaireLouise said:


> Can I just say rehoming is not just a matter of GETTING RID. I hope your circumstances never change beyond your control...... same as I said before it would be a hard fall of your high horse..... Things change in life sometimes and people have no control over them.... the better person admits this and does whats best for there pets


I completely agree it takes a lot of guts to be honest with yourself and re home an animal for its own good. Not that i have ever done it thankfully but thinking about it it must be hard, sadly its unavoidable sometimes I feel this poster needs support not crap.


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

HarryHamster2 said:


> Your replys are not necessary and as someone has said its in the rules about flaming. What you are told to do is, if you dont like what is written dont post. Unless its a post where opinions have been asked for. The OP asked for advice, not opinions!


If you read the post she didn't ask for advice ... she asked 'am I a bad person?' ....no, I haven't answered that as my reply might offend

Getting rid ... rehoming - same old thing really


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Cleo38 said:


> I have am sorry but I do have strong opionons on this & am fed up of reading time & time again on here of people getting rid of their animals. I'm sorry if my opinion upsets you but what did you really expect; everyone saying 'oh poor you' & not voicing an opinion to sday that rehoming your dog is wrong?


But its not for you to say that someone cant rehome an animal!!! You have no right telling people what they can and cannot do in their own lives.


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

Cleo38 said:


> If you read the post she didn't ask for advice ... she asked 'am I a bad person?' ....no, I haven't answered that as my reply might offend
> 
> Getting rid ... rehoming - same old thing really


to you maybe but to others its not, to me getting rid is when you give the animal away to anyone who wants it with no thought what so ever.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> I have am sorry but I do have strong opionons on this & am fed up of reading time & time again on here of people getting rid of their animals. I'm sorry if my opinion upsets you but what did you really expect; everyone saying 'oh poor you' & not voicing an opinion to sday that rehoming your dog is wrong?


I take it you have never had to rehome a dog if ime right then just think yourself very lucky, because if you knew how it felt then you would never be speaking to anyone like you have to jem you would have a lot moe compassion. If you have had to rehome a dog in the past then you should know better.


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## SpringerHusky (Nov 6, 2008)

Cleo38 said:


> If you read the post she didn't ask for advice ... she asked 'am I a bad person?' ....no, I haven't answered that as my reply might offend
> 
> Getting rid ... rehoming - same old thing really


I'm sorry it is NOT the same thing! I have to Rehome my kitten because my of my dog's prey instinct I would never get rid of him like a piece of rubbish. God forbid you ever are put in a circumstance where you are forced to make a decision.

Good luck finding the lad a home, sometimes things are hard but i'm sure he'll find a home quickly, borer's are lovely dogs.


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

I don't think it matters to the poor dog what the term is ...., he's still losing his home with his family & friend


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

ok thats fair enough then you should maybe think about rehoming them both if you arent going to be able to give them a good walk.... if its not fair for them both then why is it fair for the on to suffer by not getting walked enough....

i also willing to bet that the two dog on a short walk off lead would defo run and cover much more distance playing together than one dog on a short walk

i dont mean to flame you its just my opinion


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> If you read the post she didn't ask for advice ... she asked 'am I a bad person?' ....no, I haven't answered that as my reply might offend
> 
> Getting rid ... rehoming - same old thing really


I think you are out of order to be honest.... Someone that ADMITS they arent giving there pet what they need, ADMITS things are getting to much before it reaches crisis point and it reaching out for help and support, considering whats best for there pet does NOT make them a bad person at all.

I think the bad person would be someone who kept a pet and couldnt cope and the pet suffered as a result.

I have not rehomed dog but ive had to consider it before. Its one of the hardest things I have been though... I was lucky to get some help to allow me to keep my dog but if I hadnt I would have to have rehomed her which would have broken my heart..... Its not as cut and dry as you make out


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## Matrix/Logan (May 7, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you so much for your reply, it means alot to me. This is by no means an easy decision and I don't think I deserve the c**p I am getting from some of the people on here to be honest, I am a good person and as much as I am saying it would be easier for ME, I am also saying it would be kinder to him.
> 
> It is something we are just considering at this moment in time, I told hubby I was struggling with the 2 dogs and he agreed that it is too much for me since the operation and him now having to work away a few nights a week. Fudge is not a naughty dog but yes out of the 2 he is the little tinker and the barker so takes some telling at times, but he is well trained other than that, he is a pleasure to have about the place and I love him dearly. We are just in talks at the moment, but it didn't stop me feeling very worried and upset about it all, I wish I never posted now though


Please don't feel you shouldn't have posted, i think sometimes it helps to hear from people on here (the nice ones) as it helps you to analyse your situation! I think you are very brave considering all options for your lad and being open to advice like this. I hope i havn't upset you, just trying to help you to maybe avoid this route? I think it is something all of your family need to sit down and discuss between you. Only you can decide what is best all round for this little chaps situation. I too suffered the same as you have been through regarding the miscarriage 10 years ago and luckily i had both mums and dads around to help with my 2 toddlers at the time and my OH was around. Just remember though that you will only be out of action for a short time and i would hate you to regret any decision made during this bad time. Give it a bit of time and a big family discussion and i hope all goes well for you i really do. X X


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

Cleo38 said:


> I don't think it matters to the poor dog what the term is ...., he's still losing his home with his family & friend


dogs soon adapt, I know Ziggy did when I took him on, he is so happy with us, He still see's his previous owner too


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

rocco33 said:


> Sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in. I hope you manage to work it out one way or another, and am not going to judge you, but this part of your post did make me think.
> 
> I don't know how old your children are, but it is never too young for children to learn how they should treat dogs. If they are winding him up then really they shouldn't be, so you could turn this to a positive situation for both the children and the dogs by teaching them how to behave around them.


Thanks Rocco.

THey are not treating them badly, my daughter just gets very hypo around the dogs after school, they never treat them badly of course not.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Cleo38 said:


> If you read the post she didn't ask for advice ... she asked 'am I a bad person?' ....no, I haven't answered that as my reply might offend
> 
> To that Cleo all I am going to say is seriously go and take a run and jump!! You have NO right to judge me, and after all the crap I have been through in recent months losing my child I am tough as old boots, and I certainly am not going to let someone like you get to me!!!


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## Insane (Apr 19, 2008)

Sorry to hear you are thinking about rehoming your border terrier. I have a male and female border and pups on the way so I really feel for you. Male BT's do seem to be quite different from the females, from my experience the females are far more independant whereas the males require more attention.

Maybe the breeder you got him from will take him back or help you rehome him, it least he is good with children this always helps.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Matrix/Logan said:


> Please don't feel you shouldn't have posted, i think sometimes it helps to hear from people on here (the nice ones) as it helps you to analyse your situation! I think you are very brave considering all options for your lad and being open to advice like this. I hope i havn't upset you, just trying to help you to maybe avoid this route? I think it is something all of your family need to sit down and discuss between you. Only you can decide what is best all round for this little chaps situation. I too suffered the same as you have been through regarding the miscarriage 10 years ago and luckily i had both mums and dads around to help with my 2 toddlers at the time and my OH was around. Just remember though that you will only be out of action for a short time and i would hate you to regret any decision made during this bad time. Give it a bit of time and a big family discussion and i hope all goes well for you i really do. X X


Thank you very much, we are just in talks at the moment as to what to do about my situation. I don't have much support emotionally at the moment to be honest.


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Cleo38 said:


> I don't think it matters to the poor dog what the term is ...., he's still losing his home with his family & friend


You need to leave it alone now. Honestly if you dont like it then dont post!


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

You post about rehoming on a PET forum do you REALLY just want to pick out the responses that agree with you & tell you you're doing the 'right' thing??? Why post if that's the case??? :


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> You post about rehoming on a PET forum do you REALLY just want to pick out the responses that agree with you & tell you you're doing the 'right' thing??? Why post if that's the case??? :


YES it is a pet forum and what is your point? rehoming is not cruel its often the kindest thing!


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Cleo38 said:


> You post about rehoming on a PET forum do you REALLY just want to pick out the responses that agree with you & tell you you're doing the 'right' thing??? Why post if that's the case??? :


 Get off now!


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

advice to Jem, use the ignore button on Cleo, this person clearly has no respect of peoples feelings.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

DKDREAM said:


> dogs soon adapt, I know Ziggy did when I took him on, he is so happy with us, He still see's his previous owner too


Thats just like charlie (cocker) in a matter of a week he was as settled as if he had always been here and his previous owner visits and we go on walks together so its worked out really well, when you think charlie had been with his owner from being 9 weeks for 5 years and was can i say very much loved and spoilt and within a week he was so happy his needs were met and he had 2 spaniel friends as well. I have to say i do think its more traumatic for the owners as the dogs or should i say more traumatic for longer for the owners.


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

HarryHamster2 said:


> Get off now!


Are you in charge or something???


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## rocco33 (Dec 27, 2009)

> THey are not treating them badly, my daughter just gets very hypo around the dogs after school, they never treat them badly of course not.


Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that they were treating him 'badly', simply that they are old enough (if they are at school especially) to learn how they should behave around dogs and that their behaviour has an effect on the dogs and if this could be achieved, it would have benefits all round, such that you many not feel the need to rehome him.


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> Are you in charge or something???


No they arent they are just astonished at how rude you are I think


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

ClaireLouise said:


> No they arent they are just astonished at how rude you are I think


Rude? What because I think getting rid of pets is an awful thing to do?? :


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

haeveymolly said:


> Thats just like charlie (cocker) in a matter of a week he was as settled as if he had always been here and his previous owner visits and we go on walks together so its worked out really well, when you think charlie had been with his owner from being 9 weeks for 5 years and was can i say very much loved and spoilt and within a week he was so happy his needs were met and he had 2 spaniel friends as well. I have to say i do think its more traumatic for the owners as the dogs or should i say more traumatic for longer for the owners.


Ziggys owner had him from birth till 10 month, hes been here 11 month now, loves his half brother Pip to bits, is such a happy little soul. I will always do my best for Ziggy i was delighted that his breeder chose us as a suitable home. She always comments how good condition he is in and how happy he is. Hes our Special baby.


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

ClaireLouise said:


> No they arent they are just astonished at how rude you are I think


Yes I am, I have reported you for being rude when it has been uncalled for and deducted rep points.....never done that before! I have told you that if you dont like it then just stop but you have just gotten worse in your replys!


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> Rude? What because I think getting rid of pets is an awful thing to do?? :


you arebeing rude, rehoming is not just getting rid .... and its not awful its the best/kindest thing to do in some cases. I think you have been rude because you are being judgemental when you have no understanding of what this person is going thought and HAS already been through


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

HarryHamster2 said:


> Yes I am, I have reported you for being rude when it has been uncalled for and deducted rep points.....never done that before! I have told you that if you dont like it then just stop but you have just gotten worse in your replys!


Deducted rep point!!! I'm gutted 
I fail to see how my replies have gotten worse.... I just haven't backed down more like... I have not been rude to anyone. I have voiced my opinion. I didn't realise I HAD to obey you!!


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Insane said:


> Sorry to hear you are thinking about rehoming your border terrier. I have a male and female border and pups on the way so I really feel for you. Male BT's do seem to be quite different from the females, from my experience the females are far more independant whereas the males require more attention.
> 
> Maybe the breeder you got him from will take him back or help you rehome him, it least he is good with children this always helps.


Thank you, my best friend has just said if we are seriously considering it (she knows how ill ive been and how hard im findind it with the kids let alone the 2 dogs) then she will take him. She has pets and adores them, as I do mine, she knows how hard this is for me and she was looking for a dog so is very excited to have Fudge if I will let her. We are thinking about it for now.


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you, my best friend has just said if we are seriously considering it (she knows how ill ive been and how hard im findind it with the kids let alone the 2 dogs) then she will take him. She has pets and adores them, as I do mine, she knows how hard this is for me and she was looking for a dog so is very excited to have Fudge if I will let her. We are thinking about it for now.


Thats great news, at least you will know where he is, it will be easier to cope with.


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

DKDREAM said:


> Ziggys owner had him from birth till 10 month, hes been here 11 month now, loves his half brother Pip to bits, is such a happy little soul. I will always do my best for Ziggy i was delighted that his breeder chose us as a suitable home. She always comments how good condition he is in and how happy he is. Hes our Special baby.


They do adapt! Missy is a very happy dog, loves Alfie to pieces!!! Loves Chazz even more!! Heehee, Missy is my special baby!


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

HarryHamster2 said:


> They do adapt! Missy is a very happy dog, loves Alfie to pieces!!! Loves Chazz even more!! Heehee, Missy is my special baby!


Missy is a beautiful Doggie.


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you, my best friend has just said if we are seriously considering it (she knows how ill ive been and how hard im findind it with the kids let alone the 2 dogs) then she will take him. She has pets and adores them, as I do mine, she knows how hard this is for me and she was looking for a dog so is very excited to have Fudge if I will let her. We are thinking about it for now.


Oh thats great news! Then you can keep in touch and see him often still! :thumbup:


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Jem have you contacted a breed specific forum.... When I had problems with my dog and was considering rehoming I contacted a breed specific one and they were fantastic and NOT JUDGEMENTAL. They maybe able to arrange foster care for some respite for you


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## Matrix/Logan (May 7, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> You post about rehoming on a PET forum do you REALLY just want to pick out the responses that agree with you & tell you you're doing the 'right' thing??? Why post if that's the case??? :


URMMM!!! Lets think.... why post??

To get helpfull supportive advice from other pet lovers maybe?

To be reassured she is making a heartbreaking decision with her beloved pet dogs best interests at heart... maybe?

To get some emotional support as her life seems c**p at the moment? ... maybe?

And yet you are quick to be judge and jury to this poor person who sounds like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders this evening!! I sure hope you NEVER need support on here my dear as i can#t see many peopple offering it to you!


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

DKDREAM said:


> Missy is a beautiful Doggie.


Heehee! Ty hun. Rep points to you!


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Matrix/Logan said:


> URMMM!!! Lets think.... why post??
> 
> To get helpfull supportive advice from other pet lovers maybe?
> 
> ...


Great post I agree


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Cleo38 said:


> Rude? What because I think getting rid of pets is an awful thing to do?? :


Yes Cleo you have been very rude and personal.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

third time lucky someone might hear me lol

ok thats fair enough then you should maybe think about rehoming them both if you arent going to be able to give them a good walk.... if its not fair for them both then why is it fair for the on to suffer by not getting walked enough....

i also willing to bet that the two dog on a short walk off lead would defo run and cover much more distance playing together than one dog on a short walk

i dont mean to flame you its just my opinion


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

If you love your dogs like you claim you do, you do not need to rehome them. Yes you do have to put some work into teaching your children to treat the dogs in a way they don't bounce around barking all the time, but this is something you should do anyway, for your childrens sake. Imagine if you dont teach them and they act the same way if they ever come across a dangerous dog (without realising obviously)! 

Walking them is a problem yes? Then why not transport them to a nice open feild to run around in instead? Don't drive, and can't handle them on a lead? Ok, have you thought about using one of these? (this one is only on £20 atm ) ...

PHILLIPS CHILD CARRIER BIKE SEATS FOR 1 OR 2 on eBay (end time 11-Jun-10 20:32:44 BST)

See, there is no reason for rehoming them now  You love them ... make it happen!


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you, my best friend has just said if we are seriously considering it (she knows how ill ive been and how hard im findind it with the kids let alone the 2 dogs) then she will take him. She has pets and adores them, as I do mine, she knows how hard this is for me and she was looking for a dog so is very excited to have Fudge if I will let her. We are thinking about it for now.


Oh that sounds great, just hope things work out ime sure he'l be fine.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

ClaireLouise said:


> Jem have you contacted a breed specific forum.... When I had problems with my dog and was considering rehoming I contacted a breed specific one and they were fantastic and NOT JUDGEMENTAL. They maybe able to arrange foster care for some respite for you


Thank you, I will be as I have been emailed a link.


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## Matrix/Logan (May 7, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you, my best friend has just said if we are seriously considering it (she knows how ill ive been and how hard im findind it with the kids let alone the 2 dogs) then she will take him. She has pets and adores them, as I do mine, she knows how hard this is for me and she was looking for a dog so is very excited to have Fudge if I will let her. We are thinking about it for now.


Would this friend foster him maybe and you have him back at a later date when she gets her own dog? That might be worth considering? :thumbup:

Great news though that you have this friend as an option. X


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Cleo38 said:


> Deducted rep point!!! I'm gutted
> I fail to see how my replies have gotten worse.... I just haven't backed down more like... I have not been rude to anyone. I have voiced my opinion. I didn't realise I HAD to obey you!!


You dont have to obey me.......you obey the rules of the forum! Noone asked for your rude opinions. Trust me, backing downa dn walking away sometimes is the best and more grown up thing to do! Rather than keep going and making things worse for yourself.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

haeveymolly said:


> Oh that sounds great, just hope things work out ime sure he'l be fine.


Thank you, if we go ahead with it i will see my friend most days anyway and we would walk them together. It would feel very strange though seeing him with someone else, so for now we are just giving it serious thought.


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

crazybones said:


> third time lucky someone might hear me lol
> 
> ok thats fair enough then you should maybe think about rehoming them both if you arent going to be able to give them a good walk.... if its not fair for them both then why is it fair for the on to suffer by not getting walked enough....
> 
> ...


I understand what your saying but the dogs may not be good off lead so it may not be an option. Fudge might require more walks then then Holly maybe?


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Aurelia said:


> If you love your dogs like you claim you do, you do not need to rehome them. Yes you do have to put some work into teaching your children to treat the dogs in a way they don't bounce around barking all the time, but this is something you should do anyway, for your childrens sake. Imagine if you dont teach them and they act the same way if they ever come across a dangerous dog (without realising obviously)!
> 
> Walking them is a problem yes? Then why not transport them to a nice open feild to run around in instead? Don't drive, and can't handle them on a lead? Ok, have you thought about using one of these? (this one is only on £20 atm ) ...
> 
> ...


Think someone may have needed to have read the whole post.........The OP isnt well! So biking it around may not be an option at all!


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Aurelia said:


> If you love your dogs like you claim you do, you do not need to rehome them. Yes you do have to put some work into teaching your children to treat the dogs in a way they don't bounce around barking all the time, but this is something you should do anyway, for your childrens sake. Imagine if you dont teach them and they act the same way if they ever come across a dangerous dog (without realising obviously)!
> 
> Walking them is a problem yes? Then why not transport them to a nice open feild to run around in instead? Don't drive, and can't handle them on a lead? Ok, have you thought about using one of these? (this one is only on £20 atm ) ...
> 
> ...


Thank you very much, we are exploring all of our options.

My children do no mistreat the dogs at all, my daughter is only 4 and she just gets very excitable around them

I do find having the 2 dogs around the house with the 3 children hard going, it is different when I have another pair of hands around the place, it seems so much easier, but now coping with looking after the 3 kids, tea, bath and bedtime on my own all abit much, especially with my ill health at present.


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## Matrix/Logan (May 7, 2009)

crazybones said:


> third time lucky someone might hear me lol
> 
> ok thats fair enough then you should maybe think about rehoming them both if you arent going to be able to give them a good walk.... if its not fair for them both then why is it fair for the on to suffer by not getting walked enough....
> 
> ...


I hear you crazybones and i do agree with you, as the owner of 3 dogs i think they tire each other out brilliantly which saves me a bit of work on a busy day!! 
But i think this OP is adament that the boy is harder work and maybe they don't play and get on very well so therefore the OP isn't getting the benefits we maybe think she should be from owning the 2 dogs? Not sure but i am sure a decision will be made that is best for all the family.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

DKDREAM said:


> I understand what your saying but the dogs may not be good off lead so it may not be an option. Fudge might require more walks then then Holly maybe?


well then train them off lead and they are both terriers so i would imagine they both love their exercise......

i do understand things can get hard but this is something that could be worked out if the OP can just find some strength to train them and the children just that little bit and her life would be a bit easier that way..... surely anyone would rather retrain than rehome then if thats not working the consider rehoming


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Matrix/Logan said:


> I hear you crazybones and i do agree with you, as the owner of 3 dogs i think they tire each other out brilliantly which saves me a bit of work on a busy day!!
> But i think this OP is adament that the boy is harder work and maybe they don't play and get on very well so therefore the OP isn't getting the benefits we maybe think she should be from owning the 2 dogs? Not sure but i am sure a decision will be made that is best for all the family.


I do find it hard walking the 2 dogs, borders are pretty tough to train, adn they have had puppy training. The trainer told us they are quite hard to train, they are not naughty at all but walking I find hard as they pull so much, but they are good for my husband.

I do admit I find having 2 dogs hard around the house now they are bigger, they are good but they are hard work with the 3 children and me being on my own 4 nights of the week.


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## alaun (Jul 21, 2009)

Just another thought Jem, but they are both 2 years old. I always find up to this age the hardest - they begin to settle down and get in to a routine as they mature. If you find that you can hang in there or get some help from your friend you might find that things get easier.


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

crazybones said:


> well then train them off lead and they are both terriers so i would imagine they both love their exercise......
> 
> i do understand things can get hard but this is something that could be worked out if the OP can just find some strength to train them and the children just that little bit and her life would be a bit easier that way..... surely anyone would rather retrain than rehome then if thats not working the consider rehoming


terriers can be hard to train off lead, Its easier said then done in my opinion.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

crazybones said:


> well then train them off lead and they are both terriers so i would imagine they both love their exercise......
> 
> i do understand things can get hard but this is something that could be worked out if the OP can just find some strength to train them and the children just that little bit and her life would be a bit easier that way..... surely anyone would rather retrain than rehome then if thats not working the consider rehoming


If i had more time to do the training of the dogs then I would, but being unwell myself at present and having 3 young children to look after on my own 4 days of the week it just isn't possible at the moment


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

alaun said:


> Just another though Jem, but they are both 2 years old. I always find up to this age the hardest - they begin to settle down and get in to a routine as they mature. If you find that you can hang in there or get some help from your friend you might find that things get easier.


I agree, it might be a good idea to ask your friend to foster him for you. Then if it gets better for you and he does seem to calm down then you can take him back.


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

HarryHamster2 said:


> Think someone may have needed to have read the whole post.........The OP isnt well! So biking it around may not be an option at all!


I specifically picked one that you can push 

The OP didn't mention illness in her original post though did she? That came later, as did an operation and then loss of a child. Sometimes life really does deal a pants hand to folk, to have all that going on must be awful.

Which is why I am trying to help give OP a solution so she doesn't have to give one of her beloved doggies away


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## Natik (Mar 9, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> I do find it hard walking the 2 dogs, borders are pretty tough to train, adn they have had puppy training. The trainer told us they are quite hard to train, they are not naughty at all but walking I find hard as they pull so much, but they are good for my husband.
> 
> I do admit I find having 2 dogs hard around the house now they are bigger, they are good but they are hard work with the 3 children and me being on my own 4 nights of the week.


if they pull have u tried using a halti? It would make walking them so much easier for u....

And the excitment is down to ur daughter as far i understand it corretly? 
Surely its something u could work with ur daughter with so she learns how to behave around dogs?


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> If i had more time to do the training of the dogs then I would, but being unwell myself at present and having 3 young children to look after on my own 4 days of the week it just isn't possible at the moment


I think your friend taking him would be the best all round i think you need time to get yourself well and ime sure the stress at the moment is maybe hindering your recovery. I wish you all the very best.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Thank you Aurelia, I do appreciate your replies.

I have had a lot of bad luck recently, and not only that i have had stomach ulcers and helicobacter, someone up there really is laughing at me aren't they


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

DKDREAM said:


> terriers can be hard to train off lead, Its easier said then done in my opinion.


thats fair enough but so can any other dog and why are they hard to train.... because they have a high prey drive and an independent streak???

well so do alot of other breeds i mean the AKK are related to the Husky for crying out loud and i dont think you can get much higher prey drive than a husky........ i know the situation she is in is tough hence why im trying to help her



Jem29 said:


> If i had more time to do the training of the dogs then I would, but being unwell myself at present and having 3 young children to look after on my own 4 days of the week it just isn't possible at the moment


ok that fair enough maybe you could get in a trainer to sort it out as i think it was JSR who sorted out her dogs prey drive so that he was reliable off lead i know you may not have alot of time but maybe you could get the kids involved in their training kids love to work with animals and dogs should respond well as they will have a high pitch voice (as long as it is all under control and calm then why not)


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Natik said:


> if they pull have u tried using a halti? It would make walking them so much easier for u....
> 
> And the excitment is down to ur daughter as far i understand it corretly?
> Surely its something u could work with ur daughter with so she learns how to behave around dogs?


Yes she is an excitable little madam but I must be honest that i find having 2 dogs around the house with the 3 children hard going. I know I should have thought about that before we got the dogs, but I guess things were easier then for me personally.


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## sue&harvey (Mar 10, 2010)

I haven't read the entire thread, so appologies if I have missed the point.
Just a thought on the walking issue. My little lad was really hard to walk...pulling lunging sideways ect. He also hasn't proved the easiest dog to train either. We invested in the Mekuti Harness and it has been a god send. It's a bit of a art to get used to it but if he's a puller it may make it easier for you. 

I hope you find the best soloution for all of you and the dogs. Great that you have a friend willing to help if needed. 
All the best


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Aurelia said:


> I specifically picked one that you can push
> 
> The OP didn't mention illness in her original post though did she? That came later, as did an operation and then loss of a child. Sometimes life really does deal a pants hand to folk, to have all that going on must be awful.
> 
> Which is why I am trying to help give OP a solution so she doesn't have to give one of her beloved doggies away


Sorry, saw the bike thing and thought Hmmm! heehee!


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you Aurelia, I do appreciate your replies.
> 
> I have had a lot of bad luck recently, and not only that i have had stomach ulcers and helicobacter, someone up there really is laughing at me aren't they


Well stress is the last thing you need with ulcers


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## Natik (Mar 9, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> Yes she is an excitable little madam but I must be honest that i find having 2 dogs around the house with the 3 children hard going. I know I should have thought about that before we got the dogs, but I guess things were easier then for me personally.


what do u mean with hard going? Im a bit slow lol

The problems i read from the thread are pulling and excitment, both which can be easily sorted without really much hassle....


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

haeveymolly said:


> Well stress is the last thing you need with ulcers


I know, they are bladdy painful aswell, lol! I have just had a whole load of triple therapy (antibiotics that could kill a city off), so things have been pretty tough recently for me, and now with hubby working away I am even more stressed. Arghh!!!!


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

Natik said:


> what do u mean with hard going? Im a bit slow lol
> 
> The problems i read from the thread are pulling and excitment, both which can be easily sorted without really much hassle....


i have been trying to get this across


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Natik said:


> what do u mean with hard going? Im a bit slow lol
> 
> The problems i read from the thread are pulling and excitment, both which can be easily sorted without really much hassle....


I just find it hard as in having the 2 dogs around the house, they get very excited with the kids, run around alot etc.... I dont find it easy having them indoors when I am on my own, lol!


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you Aurelia, I do appreciate your replies.
> 
> I have had a lot of bad luck recently, and not only that i have had stomach ulcers and helicobacter, someone up there really is laughing at me aren't they


Nah, sometimes you just get dealt a bad hand. I bet you have other richness in your life that maybe makes the crap seem worth it? Your kids for instance? 

I'm disabled myself, and spent almost 24/7 in one chair in one room. But I do what I need to do to work instead of claiming benifits, and my pets don't suffer. My hubby takes Bella for her walks, and when I can get out I go along on my mobility scooter.

One thing I have learnt is no matter what, don't give up. That is harder than working to make what you want happen. If you give up it makes you a weaker person.

Like I said before if you really do love your dogs, you can make keeping them happen.

Can you list all the honest reasons why you want to rehome? I'm sure all of the reasons are solvable. It may also give you something to focus on instead of feeling sorry for yourself and your crappy situation ... bonus all round, for you, your kids, your doggies and of course your hubby who will love seeing you as a stronger woman for not giving up.

There are lots of folks on here, and I would bet that there is a solution for you .. you just have to ask by laying ALL of your reasons on the table 

Jo xxx


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

I just mean that they don't seem to just sit and relax, they always seem to be on the go around the house, maybe that is due to the kids running about alot. They just have never seemed like content 'house' dogs if you see what i mean.


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## Natik (Mar 9, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> I just find it hard as in having the 2 dogs around the house, they get very excited with the kids, run around alot etc.... I dont find it easy having them indoors when I am on my own, lol!


but the excitment is down to ur daughters behaviour which can be changed ... or not :confused1:


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Natik said:


> but the excitment is down to ur daughters behaviour which can be changed ... or not :confused1:


It can....... but stopping a 4 year old being excitable would be damn hard lol


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Aurelia said:


> Nah, sometimes you just get dealt a bad hand. I bet you have other richness in your life that maybe makes the crap seem worth it? Your kids for instant?
> 
> I'm disabled myself, and spent almost 24/7 in one chair in one room. But I do what I need to do to work instead of claiming benifits, and my pets don't suffer. My hubby takes Bella for her walks, and when I can get out I go along on my mobility scooter.
> 
> ...


Thank you, you are a strong person and very supportive, thank you

If you see my reply above, I just find it hard having the dogs around the house with the 3 children, they don't ever seem to be calm and relaxed, even with the children at school. My hubbys dad says that is because of their breed, he has one and he said he is always on the go and excited, lol!


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

get your kids involved with the training and you will probs fine their attitude will change towards the dog and will help you stimulate them mentally


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Even when my kids are in school the dogs never seem to be chilled out house dogs if you see what i mean. They destroyed my dining room one afternoon, they took half the wallpaper off the wall, lol!


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

ClaireLouise said:


> It can....... but stopping a 4 year old being excitable would be damn hard lol


Kids have to be kids also dont they and ime sure if the kids getting excited and lets face it kids at that age should get excited if they wernt then this would stress jem as well, i do thing she is in a no win situation at the moment.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> Even when my kids are in school the dogs never seem to be chilled out house dogs if you see what i mean. They destroyed my dining room one afternoon, they took half the wallpaper off the wall, lol!


well they are bored simple...... get their brains working and you will find they will chill out more simple


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

haeveymolly said:


> Kids have to be kids also dont they and ime sure if the kids getting excited and lets face it kids at that age should get excited if they wernt then this would stress jem as well, i do thing she is in a no win situation at the moment.


I totaly agree


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## Natik (Mar 9, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> Even when my kids are in school the dogs never seem to be chilled out house dogs if you see what i mean. They destroyed my dining room one afternoon, they took half the wallpaper off the wall, lol!


its sounds like u dont want ur dogs and maybe rehoming would be the best option BUT for both of them .....


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

Natik said:


> its sounds like u dont want ur dogs and maybe rehoming would be the best option BUT for both of them .....


Thank you i have been getting at this all night


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Natik said:


> its sounds like u dont want ur dogs and maybe rehoming would be the best option BUT for both of them .....


That I don't want them??? no that isn't the case at all, I just have recently found it all very hard work. How does that come across as me not wanting them?? I love them dearly and this is breaking my heart.

I am not going to bother posting anymore.


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

crazybones said:


> well they are bored simple...... get their brains working and you will find they will chill out more simple


Both the dogs and your children 

Seriously, this is a workable situation. There is no reason I have heard (read) you give so far that isn't! 

Do you love your dogs and want to keep them if folk here help you solve any 'issues' with them?

Or do you simply want to rehome one because you don't love them enough to put the effort in?

A couple of harsh questions I know, but that is what it comes down to  Again, I do understand you have a lot of crap to deal with, but it will give you something else to focus on ... this is a good thing for you!


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Natik said:


> its sounds like u dont want ur dogs and maybe rehoming would be the best option BUT for both of them .....


Why both of them when she has clearly stated that the boy is more of a handful than the girl, which DOESNT play with the boy, which mean she wont miss a play buddy cause she doesnt play with him? She has also already stated that walking one will be better and easier for her healthwise as well as easier to cope with. Its not that she doesnt want her dogs, she is unwell, still having treatment, has 3 kids running around the house and lets face it, they are kids and have a right to run around the house being kids, has no hubby home to help, trying to get her relationship sorted with him after their split, has tried training with them but hasnt worked, anything I have missed? To be perfectly honest, if I had all this I dont think I would be able to cope!


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## Natik (Mar 9, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> That I don't want them??? no that isn't the case at all, I just have recently found it all very hard work. How does that come across as me not wanting them?? I love them dearly and this is breaking my heart.
> 
> I am not going to bother posting anymore.


i am sorry if u feel my post came across harsh and im not judging or anything but u came up with possibly any reason out there why u need to rehome and ur not even taking any advice on board regarding walking the dogs or occupying them or trying to work with ur kids in teaching them to behave around dogs.

I know 3 year olds who know that making a dog excitable can result in the dog biting, its a responsiblity of the parent to teach their children to behave appriopriate around dogs if they raise kids and dogs at the same time to prevent any accidents to happen.

U just say they are excitable around the kids and that basicly the end of it ....


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## Blitz (Feb 12, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> Sorry but you are still rehoming your dog for your sake, please don't pretend its for your dogs


I cant be bothered to read all this thread, but you come over a very self centred and selfish and bigoted person Cleo 38 with no idea of the real world. I hope you dont fall flat on your face at some time and have to come on here pleading for help.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

HarryHamster2 said:


> Why both of them when she has clearly stated that the boy is more of a handful than the girl, which DOESNT play with the boy, which mean she wont miss a play buddy cause she doesnt play with him? She has also already stated that walking one will be better and easier for her healthwise as well as easier to cope with. Its not that she doesnt want her dogs, she is unwell, still having treatment, has 3 kids running around the house and lets face it, they are kids and have a right to run around the house being kids, has no hubby home to help, trying to get her relationship sorted with him after their split, has tried training with them but hasnt worked, anything I have missed? To be perfectly honest, if I had all this I dont think I would be able to cope!


I am struggling alot at the moment to be honest, having counselling to sort out my head after losing my baby and to deal with my worries over my ill health. No it isn't easy at all


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## dexter (Nov 29, 2008)

Cleo38 said:


> If you read the post she didn't ask for advice ... she asked 'am I a bad person?' ....no, I haven't answered that as my reply might offend
> 
> Getting rid ... rehoming - same old thing really


never judge a book by its cover IMO................


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Blitz said:


> I cant be bothered to read all this thread, but you come over a very self centred and selfish and bigoted person Cleo 38 with no idea of the real world. I hope you dont fall flat on your face at some time and have to come on here pleading for help.


I agree!


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Training dogs and "kids" take a lot of time, energy and commitment and i do think for someone with no personal, health and emotional problems its hard, i do think the stress of taking the 2 steps forward and the 6 back which we all do when training dogs would be too stressfull at the moment and i do think as some of the health issues are stress related a doctor would advice jem to have no more stress, and ime so glad for this reason some of the stress for her has finally gone on here.


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

Jem29 said:


> I am struggling alot at the moment to be honest, having counselling to sort out my head after losing my baby and to deal with my worries over my ill health. No it isn't easy at all


Seriously, please read my last post. You need something else to focus on!

Why not make it focusing on keeping your dogs being the only option?

Wouldn't you be happier and have one less thing to worry about if you can keep them both and have them fit in with your family better?


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## rocco33 (Dec 27, 2009)

> Both the dogs and your children
> 
> Seriously, this is a workable situation. There is no reason I have heard (read) you give so far that isn't!
> 
> ...


Great post (and your previous one) but I can't give you anymore rep yet 

I couldn't agree more, from what you describe, there seems to be nothing unusual and it is just down to putting the effort in, both with the children and with the dogs.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

haeveymolly said:


> Training dogs and "kids" take a lot of time, energy and commitment and i do think for someone with no personal, health and emotional problems its hard, i do think the stress of taking the 2 steps forward and the 6 back which we all do when training dogs would be too stressfull at the moment and i do think as some of the health issues are stress related a doctor would advice jem to have no more stress, and ime so glad for this reason some of the stress for her has finally gone on here.


thats fair enough but then rehome them both so there is no stress of the dogs/dog that way she can just concentrate on her health and kids

not that i agree with it but i would most certainly never give up on my dogs unless there were a reason like it had bit a kid bad


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Honestly, why is it such a taboo when someone admits they cant cope! Its the bigger person who admits they cant cope, not the one that struggles on until they have pushed themselves to the max and have a complete break down! No wonder there are so many people who have a mental illness these days when there are so many people who still think admitting they cant cope is wrong!


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## Matrix/Logan (May 7, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> I just mean that they don't seem to just sit and relax, they always seem to be on the go around the house, maybe that is due to the kids running about alot. They just have never seemed like content 'house' dogs if you see what i mean.


Only one answer to that babe............. they are terriers!!

They were designed to cover miles, built for staminer, built for watchig, chasing, working....


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

haeveymolly said:


> Training dogs and "kids" take a lot of time, energy and commitment and i do think for someone with no personal, health and emotional problems its hard, i do think the stress of taking the 2 steps forward and the 6 back which we all do when training dogs would be too stressfull at the moment and i do think as some of the health issues are stress related a doctor would advice jem to have no more stress, and ime so glad for this reason some of the stress for her has finally gone on here.


Thank you for your help. xx


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

crazybones said:


> thats fair enough but then rehome them both so there is no stress of the dogs/dog that way she can just concentrate on her health and kids
> 
> not that i agree with it but i would most certainly never give up on my dogs unless there were a reason like it had bit a kid bad


I can see what you are saying but do you mean you dont agree with particular circumstance or rehoming in general because rehoming is well it was for us not something that taken lightly or is easy to do. Ime certain is not eay for jem too, i really do feel for her in her current situation, we owe it to our dogs to be happy and give them the best we can.


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

HarryHamster2 said:


> Honestly, why is it such a taboo when someone admits they cant cope! Its the bigger person who admits they cant cope, not the one that struggles on until they have pushed themselves to the max and have a complete break down! No wonder there are so many people who have a mental illness these days when there are so many people who still think admitting they cant cope is wrong!


I have to agree god forbid if i ever had to re home i wouldn't post on here.... its not worth the heart ache. People just want support and comfort in the difficult time not more agro.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

haeveymolly said:


> I can see what you are saying but do you mean you dont agree with particular circumstance oe rehoming in general because rehoming is well it was for us not something that taken lightly or is easy to do.


just this situation as it can be sorted


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

Matrix/Logan said:


> Only one answer to that babe............. they are terriers!!
> 
> They were designed to cover miles, built for staminer, built for watchig, chasing, working....


come on that their terriers [email protected] isnt an proper reason is it.........

sorry i just dont agree with that their terrier so they do this and they do that


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

haeveymolly said:


> Training dogs and "kids" take a lot of time, energy and commitment and i do think for someone with no personal, health and emotional problems its hard, i do think the stress of taking the 2 steps forward and the 6 back which we all do when training dogs would be too stressfull at the moment and i do think as some of the health issues are stress related a doctor would advice jem to have no more stress, and ime so glad for this reason some of the stress for her has finally gone on here.


I have dealt with all of the problems Jem is going through + a lot more permanent ones. The only thing different is that I haven't been blessed with kids. But if I were it would never be an excuse to re home any of my pets, unless in extreme circumstances, I don't read anything like that in Jem's posts so far.

Having pets enriches a childs life I believe, it teaches them to be responsible, to love and to know that people/animals can be dependant on you. Not to mention all the fun of having pets as a kid 

If I didn't have my hubby here to walk my girl, then I would HAVE to do it myself. I would find a way, even if it meant picking up extra work hours to pay for a walker.

As for stress ... well isn't it a scientific fact that those who fuss a pet de-stress quicker? 2x doggies means 2x quicker stress relief.

The only thing the OP needs to do really is find a balance. I'm sure there are plenty of people here who can help her do that. Everything else I have read is just excuses IMHO.

No offence intended, just my opinion.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

HarryHamster2 said:


> Honestly, why is it such a taboo when someone admits they cant cope! Its the bigger person who admits they cant cope, not the one that struggles on until they have pushed themselves to the max and have a complete break down! No wonder there are so many people who have a mental illness these days when there are so many people who still think admitting they cant cope is wrong!


If this was Facebook I would give it a thumbs up!


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

crazybones said:


> just this situation as it can be sorted


thats your opinion, I dont see how anyone can say that sat on a forum, Ziggy is a barker and not very good with some kids (dosent bite but yaps) he dosent like kids running making noise. I am fortunate never to have kids in that respect. I think it depends on the dog, Holly may cope alot better then Fudge with the kids.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

crazybones said:


> just this situation as it can be sorted


Its been said that these dogs arnt the easiest to train and i think for a healthy person with lots of time to devote to it that it would be hard i dont think in jems situation it can be.


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## Natik (Mar 9, 2008)

HarryHamster2 said:


> Honestly, why is it such a taboo when someone admits they cant cope! Its the bigger person who admits they cant cope, not the one that struggles on until they have pushed themselves to the max and have a complete break down! No wonder there are so many people who have a mental illness these days when there are so many people who still think admitting they cant cope is wrong!


u totally got it all wrong... noone said one negative word about admitting to not being able to cope, instead people are concerned and try to come up with ideas and solutions, as its a situation which can be changed and the dog doesnt necessarily has to be rehomed.


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

crazybones said:


> just this situation as it can be sorted


How can it be sorted when you are ill and struggling with an excitable dog?? This isnt just about not training the dogs or kids. Its about having the energy, right frame of mind and being WELL to do these things! Having to keep the 3 kids in check or even 1 in my case when you are not well is hard enough!


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

DKDREAM said:


> thats your opinion, I dont see how anyone can say that sat on a forum, Ziggy is a barker and not very good with some kids (dosent bite but yaps) he dosent like kids running making noise. I am fortunate never to have kids in that respect. I think it depends on the dog, Holly may cope alot better then Fudge with the kids.


well then you teach the kids to be considerate around the dog simple


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

crazybones said:


> well then you teach the kids to be considerate around the dog simple


I have done, but Ziggy still displays the behaviour its simple he just dosent like some kids. Like us people dont like everyone.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

HarryHamster2 said:


> How can it be sorted when you are ill and struggling with an excitable dog?? This isnt just about not training the dogs or kids. Its about having the energy, right frame of mind and being WELL to do these things! Having to keep the 3 kids in check or even 1 in my case when you are not well is hard enough!


well im not being funny but if anyone has kids and dogs then the lids and dogs should be train properly so that they can live together happily and safely

they are so excitable because their brains need to be worked as well as their legs simple


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

The one thing I am having trouble with the most here ...

Jem is obviously suffering with a lot of emotional problems at the moment, if she loves her dogs as much as she says, surely rehoming even one of them will just add to those problems. As she will miss it like crazy and feel incredibly guilty for a long time for re homing.

That is worse for her than working to keep them, and I will say it again ... give her something else to focus on which she obviously so desperately needs.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

DKDREAM said:


> I have done, but Ziggy still displays the behaviour its simple he just dosent like some kids. Like us people dont like everyone.


that goo you have trained him but the OP hasn't said that the dog doesnt like kids all she said was that the dog was excitable by the kids which takes 2 to tango simple


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## Natik (Mar 9, 2008)

HarryHamster2 said:


> How can it be sorted when you are ill and struggling with an excitable dog?? This isnt just about not training the dogs or kids. Its about having the energy, right frame of mind and being WELL to do these things! Having to keep the 3 kids in check or even 1 in my case when you are not well is hard enough!


she clearly said in previous posts both dogs pull, both dogs get excited so why want to rehome only the one?

If the kids are not going to learn to behave around the dog the situation is going to be the same if not worse, as if one dog is gone the other one might find itself in a suation having to entertain itself with the kids and might just get as excited as the other one.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Aurelia said:


> I have dealt with all of the problems Jem is going through + a lot more permanent ones. The only thing different is that I haven't been blessed with kids. But if I were it would never be an excuse to re home any of my pets, unless in extreme circumstances, I don't read anything like that in Jem's posts so far.
> 
> Having pets enriches a childs life I believe, it teaches them to be responsible, to love and to know that people/animals can be dependant on you. Not to mention all the fun of having pets as a kid
> 
> ...


I think a calm dog would de-stress but not an excitable one with children around playing being noisy like children are, i dont want to offend or upset you but the reason you cant understand is that of "children" and only someone that has or has had children 24/7 knows just the stress and hard work they bring with them it does believe me put a whole new slant on the situation.


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Aurelia said:


> I have dealt with all of the problems Jem is going through + a lot more permanent ones. The only thing different is that I haven't been blessed with kids. But if I were it would never be an excuse to re home any of my pets, unless in extreme circumstances, I don't read anything like that in Jem's posts so far.
> 
> Having pets enriches a childs life I believe, it teaches them to be responsible, to love and to know that people/animals can be dependant on you. Not to mention all the fun of having pets as a kid
> 
> ...


Thats my point!!! How can you sit there, with no kids, and not understanding what its like to have 3 youngsters as well as dogs going through this???? You dont!!!! You cant comment that you went through the same experiences when actually no you didnt, because you didnt have littluns wanting you 24/7! I am sorry for being blunt, but you have no idea what it is like!


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## DKDREAM (Sep 15, 2008)

crazybones said:


> that goo you have trained him but the OP hasn't said that the dog doesnt like kids all she said was that the dog was excitable by the kids which takes 2 to tango simple


I know it takes 2 but it depends on the kids, we dont know how old they are, if they have any learning difficulties etc, I am only saying that because Ziggy yaps at a lad down the street who has special needs because he dosent like his voice. makes him go hyper. their is many things that can trigger it. Thats all o im saying.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

haeveymolly said:


> I think a calm dog would de-stress but not an excitable one with children around playing being noisy like children are, i dont want to offend or upset you but the reason you cant understand is that of "children" and only someone that has or has had children 24/7 knows just the stress and hard work they bring with them it does believe me put a whole new slant on the situation.


no sorry thats just an excuse for some people fair enough if the OP went away and tried some of the sugguestion and it didnt work but she isn't even taking on board what people are trying to say to her


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

crazybones said:


> well then you teach the kids to be considerate around the dog simple


My children are well behaved, I have good children and they are good around the pets. It is just children get excitable and of course this makes the dogs excited, this does not mean that they are misstreating the dogs and nor does it mean that be teaching the children that everything will suddenly work out. As I hve said I have alot of issues myself and I am struggling with everything right now, none of this is an excuse at all nor is it me saying i don't want my dogs????


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

crazybones said:


> no sorry thats just an excuse for some people fair enough if the OP went away and tried some of the sugguestion and it didnt work but she isn't even taking on board what people are trying to say to her


Thats because she has tried a trainer if you read hun. It didnt work. She has also taken them puppy classes and still having trouble. She has tried, but not been able to sort the situation.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

crazybones said:


> no sorry thats just an excuse for some people fair enough if the OP went away and tried some of the sugguestion and it didnt work but she isn't even taking on board what people are trying to say to her


I never said I hadn't taken peoples suggestions on board, I said my husband and I are in talks at the moment and I posted here to get support.

I am not making excuses and nor do i want to rehome my dog, I love them both very much, I am just finding my circumstances very difficult which in turn affects them.


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## Natik (Mar 9, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> My children are well behaved, I have good children and they are good around the pets. It is just children get excitable and of course this makes the dogs excited, this does not mean that they are misstreating the dogs and nor does it mean that be teaching the children that everything will suddenly work out. As I hve said I have alot of issues myself and I am struggling with everything right now, none of this is an excuse at all nor is it me saying i don't want my dogs????


could u cope with one excited dog with ur ill health?


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> My children are well behaved, I have good children and they are good around the pets. It is just children get excitable and of course this makes the dogs excited, this does not mean that they are misstreating the dogs and nor does it mean that be teaching the children that everything will suddenly work out. As I hve said I have alot of issues myself and I am struggling with everything right now, none of this is an excuse at all nor is it me saying i don't want my dogs????


look stop taking things so personally you say your kids are well behaved around the dog but yet you cant handle them both......

i didnt once say ur kids were miss treating them and im sorry if i came across that was but your kids just need to be show how to stay calmer around them like i said before get them involved in the train of the dogs


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

HarryHamster2 said:


> Thats because she has tried a trainer if you read hun. It didnt work. She has also taken them puppy classes and still having trouble. She has tried, but not been able to sort the situation.


Thank you. I have tried, I would never just give up!


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

haeveymolly said:


> I think a calm dog would de-stress but not an excitable one with children around playing being noisy like children are, i dont want to offend or upset you but the reason you cant understand is that of "children" and only someone that has or has had children 24/7 knows just the stress and hard work they bring with them it does believe me put a whole new slant on the situation.


You wrote this so much nicer than me! Thats what I meant on mine! Sorry mine was alot harsher!


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

crazybones said:


> look stop taking things so personally you say your kids are well behaved around the dog but yet you cant handle them both......
> 
> i didnt once say ur kids were miss treating them and im sorry if i came across that was but your kids just need to be show how to stay calmer around them like i said before get them involved in the train of the dogs


Thank you for your reply. Of course I would try to involve them with the training abit more.


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Natik said:


> could u cope with one excited dog with ur ill health?


Holly is very different, she never barks and is better around the house/children.


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

HarryHamster2 said:


> Thats because she has tried a trainer if you read hun. It didnt work. She has also taken them puppy classes and still having trouble. She has tried, but not been able to sort the situation.


i think she meant that they took them to puppy classes when they were puppies also a dog training shouldn't stop there

also just because one trainer didnt work then why not try another one or at least try some ideas off here


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## Aurelia (Apr 29, 2010)

Where did I say that I hadn't experienced what it's like to have young kids and animals around? Don't be silly, do you think I'd be stupid enough to make such statements without knowing what I'm talking about? Of course you don't, because you don't know me 

Just because I don't have kids, does not mean I don't know thank you!

No offence taken but I really ... really hate it when people use the "but you have never had kids so what do you know" card.

Now, this is about Jem right? 

I fear that those of you who are patting on the back with understanding will actually only make things worse for Jem, if she really loves her dogs. The separation from a much loved pet (have you ever loved a pet and lost one? remember how gut wrenching that feels?) will only make her emotional problems worse, surely?


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## Natik (Mar 9, 2008)

Jem29 said:


> Holly is very different, she never barks and is better around the house/children.


but u are aware that might change when the other one is gone? She will not have the doggie company and will depend even more on u and the kids for attention....


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

I think the bottom line is that jem's life had been turned upside down over time since getting the dogs things have changed so much that something now has to be done and i think the only way out of this is for 1 or both of the dogs to be rehomed, and jem to concentrate on getting herself well and looking after her children ime sure the love she has for her dogs she will find them a good home where all the stresses sre removed from their lives as ime sure the dogs are also sensing the difficult times and maybe are reacting to the stresses they are living amongst, i really think if jem does rehome she will be doing the right thing for everyone all round.


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Jem29 said:


> Fudge is a slightly bigger dog and the children seem to get him rather excited, Holly tends to not get involved in it and just sits and watches





Natik said:


> could u cope with one excited dog with ur ill health?


She never said they were both excitable! There is my proof!


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## crazybones (Jan 1, 2009)

Jem29 said:


> Thank you for your reply. Of course I would try to involve them with the training abit more.


Jem could you please just find the strength to try a few ideas out for a few weeks to see if it get any better please i think you might find it helpful to take your mind somewhere else......


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## Jem29 (Dec 28, 2008)

Aurelia said:


> Where did I say that I hadn't experienced what it's like to have young kids and animals around? Don't be silly, do you think I'd be stupid enough to make such statements without knowing what I'm talking about? Of course you don't, because you don't know me
> 
> Just because I don't have kids, does not mean I don't know thank you!
> 
> ...


Quite possible, who knows and I am willing to take everyones comments on board to avoid this.


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## tashi (Dec 5, 2007)

closing as this needs looking at, will be moderated tomorrow and reopened if the op so requires


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