# Rehomed my best friend



## Hubba7 (Dec 28, 2016)

On the 23rd of December I was forced to rehomed my best friend. My dogs name was Nova, she was a staffy cross and totally changed my life. My girlfriend gave birth to our first child and that's when things started to go downhill.

Nova was almost 2 and we had her since she was 12 weeks old. I suffer from social anxiety and find it very difficult to go outside and interact with people, my dog changed my life by helping me get outdoors and be around people more. 

When my girlfriend came home from the hospital she was unable to cope with the dog and we fought about it for almost 4months. I often said I would find somewhere to live and keep the dog but with my anxiety disorder would be unable to cope. I was forced to give Nova back to the SSPCA and it has broke my heart.

I feel I have let my dog down and should have fought harder to keep her, I'm left with feelings of guilt because my dog needed me and I turned my back on her. Should I have kept fighting? I'm left feeling like I can't continue this life without the dog that gave me so much.


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## Justineblant1234 (Oct 2, 2016)

Hubba7 said:


> On the 23rd of December I was forced to rehomed my best friend. My dogs name was Nova, she was a staffy cross and totally changed my life. My girlfriend gave birth to our first child and that's when things started to go downhill.
> 
> Nova was almost 2 and we had her since she was 12 weeks old. I suffer from social anxiety and find it very difficult to go outside and interact with people, my dog changed my life by helping me get outdoors and be around people more.
> 
> ...


My opinion is when you get an animal they are for life and part of your family i have two dogs and nothing on this planet will make me get rid of them if things change in a family unit you adapt and make changes with the animal init thats how it works when you get a pet . Me as a person i couldn't cope if my dogs wasn't with me its to easy now to give up on a dog, i rescue unwanted dogs from spain visit www.paws-on-heart.co.uk it just breaks my heart how people can just give up so easily like you said dogs do change peoples lives i hope it all works out


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## Picklelily (Jan 2, 2013)

I'm so sorry your girlfriend made you feel like this, leading to you making such a difficult decision and that you are now suffering so badly.
Is there any chance you could sit down and work things out with your girlfriend? Sort out an outside run and kennel perhaps? An indoor crate and you walking the dog for longer? If you could sit and rationally talk with your girlfriend then it might help, perhaps an outsider could help mediate? 

Reading between the lines I think you could do with some outside support and counselling, possibly also some relationship counselling.

Whilst I do think a dog is for life sometimes circumstances are beyond our control or we cannot see a way out other than giving in. I hope that you can work things out and then get your dog home.

To anyone else coming and being pushed into giving up a pet, so needing advice why not ask for help in dog chat before making the decision. Alternatively get a force free trainer or behaviourist to help you sort the issues with your pet, this could help you stop problems that may be affecting your relationship.


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## elmthesofties (Aug 8, 2011)

This is probably going to be an unpopular opinion, but when you get an animal, you have to do your best to do the best thing for them. If that means rehoming, it means rehoming. It is better to swallow your pride and try and find a new home for your pet than it is to sacrifice the welfare of the animal. Yes, rehoming is a last resort, but if you've exhausted the alternatives, it can sometimes be for the best.

If there is any possibility that you can sort things out, do you know what it was that your girlfriend couldn't cope with? Was it the walking, expenses, she didn't feel comfortable with Nova being around the baby, etc?

I have to say, I'm very concerned by your last sentence.


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## Picklelily (Jan 2, 2013)

elmthesofties said:


> This is probably going to be an unpopular opinion, but when you get an animal, you have to do your best to do the best thing for them. If that means rehoming, it means rehoming. It is better to swallow your pride and try and find a new home for your pet than it is to sacrifice the welfare of the animal. Yes, rehoming is a last resort, but if you've exhausted the alternatives, it can sometimes be for the best.
> 
> If there is any possibility that you can sort things out, do you know what it was that your girlfriend couldn't cope with? Was it the walking, expenses, she didn't feel comfortable with Nova being around the baby, etc?
> 
> I have to say, I'm very concerned by your last sentence.


Not unpopular with me I agree sometimes the best thing for all is to rehome. My suggestions are purely in the spirit of trying to help as the original poster clearly wants a different resolution.

I will repeat again original poster I think you need some professional counselling to help you in this situation.


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## elmthesofties (Aug 8, 2011)

Picklelily said:


> Not unpopular with me I agree sometimes the best thing for all is to rehome. My suggestions are purely in the spirit of trying to help as the original poster clearly wants a different resolution.
> 
> I will repeat again original poster I think you need some professional counselling to help you in this situation.


I apologise if it sounded like a dig at you, it definitely wasn't! If there is a way for OP to figure something out to keep Nova, then it would be amazing for her to stay in her home, but your advice was excellent and I didn't have anything to add to it, other than that rehoming isn't inherently a bad thing. I was mentioning that as it sounds as though maybe it's too late to think of alternatives if she's already been surrendered. If that is the case, the best thing is to try and move forward, which may well require professional help.


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## Picklelily (Jan 2, 2013)

elmthesofties said:


> I apologise if it sounded like a dig at you, it definitely wasn't! If there is a way for OP to figure something out to keep Nova, then it would be amazing for her to stay in her home, but your advice was excellent and I didn't have anything to add to it, other than that rehoming isn't inherently a bad thing. I was mentioning that as it sounds as though maybe it's too late to think of alternatives if she's already been surrendered. If that is the case, the best thing is to try and move forward, which may well require professional help.


Thanks, I honestly didn't think you were getting at me  I just thought you made the excellent point about sometimes it's OK to rehome. I meant to make that point myself but failed to do so. After all, I wouldn't have my lovely Pickle if her previous family hadn't been brave enough to say "we can't cope." Nice people do adopt dogs.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Hubba7 said:


> she was unable to cope with the dog


 Agree that if she now has a newborn baby to care for, gf might well expect her partner (@Hubba7) to take main responsibility for the dog; otherwise split dog/baby duties 50/50. TBH, if Hubba7 is prepared to look after baby while mum takes the dog for a walk, I think it would be a nice break for her from the bottles and nappies. I know which I would prefer!! Or does Hubba7 work very long hours and unable to help too much with either?
I had to look after my son and two dogs (virtually) single-handed and it is not easy. But it did not occur to me to rehome either dog; and my son grew up with them and loved them for years.


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## ForestWomble (May 2, 2013)

@Picklelily and @elmthesofties have both given excellent advice which I can't really add to.

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you have had to give up your dog and that I hope you can work through this difficult time. 
If I had to loose my dog, I'd be more then heartbroken, so I have an idea how you feel, please get some support to help you through this.


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## FFH (Oct 3, 2016)

I am so sorry you had to give up your dog. 

Sometimes circumstances make difficult decisions necessary, and you have done your best for her. Now its time for you to look after yourself, your partner and concentrate on bringing up your new child, who I am sure you will teach all about being kind to animals.

All the best.


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