# How to stop cats waking you up



## Kimsey (Apr 6, 2014)

As you know I have adopted 2 cats about 2 months ago. We locked them out of the bedroom at first and this just didn't work they were keeping us up all night and destroying the door and carpet. My husband stupidly let them sleep with us and now I am lucky to get a couple of hours sleep a night with the fighting, scratching and pouncing on us. This does not bother hubby as he sleeps through it. I did start locking them downstairs but they are crying and damaging the door and wood floor all night. I am at the stage now that I can't cope any longer with the lack of sleep and my health is now suffering. I told hubby this morning if he is having them in the bedroom I am going in the spare room and he told me not to be stupid and ignore them (now I know where I am in the pecking order). I thought they wanted attention but If I get up with them they are not hungry and go and lie down. When I got them from the previous owner she said they were extremely loving and friendly but they are not, they ignore us completely during the day. I am starting to believe these problems are why she gave them away. Any advice would be very much appreciated as I am considering moving out and letting them get on with it.


----------



## Forester (Dec 2, 2012)

Have you tried a really active play session shortly before bedtime? 

I try to give mine a really active play session of around an hour's duration, - da bird, ball chasing, energetic " attack " games etc before a substantial supper just before bed. He's often so glad to go to bed that he goes before we do . This ensures sleep for all concerned for a good few hours.

He does often wake me , asking for breakfast around 5 am,5.30am and I usually get up then to feed him but that's only because he tends to vomit if he doesn't have breakfast at that time. I have just ordered an automatic feeder which I plan to programme to give him an early breakfast and me more, much needed, beauty sleep. 

Do you think that either of these ideas would work for you?. I know you have said that they are not hungry but they may wake you early once hunger creeps in.


----------



## oggers86 (Nov 14, 2011)

Forester said:


> Have you tried a really active play session shortly before bedtime?
> 
> I try to give mine a really active play session of around an hour's duration, - da bird, ball chasing, energetic " attack " games etc before a substantial supper just before bed. He's often so glad to go to bed that he goes before we do . This ensures sleep for all concerned for a good few hours.
> 
> ...


This is pretty much what I do. The later my kitten goes to bed the later he sleeps but he gets up when my husband gets up at 6am and that is time for the crazy running around shouting, jumping on me, attacking me etc. Not much fun when I am on lates!!

I give him plenty of toys to play with, balls, door hanging toys, kickers but sometimes he ignores them. I am now getting desperate so I have just got the catit speed circuit so he can play with that.

You could try a food puzzle to keep them occupied. I have the trixie activity one which I put dry food or thrive in but you could try bits of fresh chicken maybe if you are trying to avoid dry. I have also ordered the poker food puzzle for him when I am on earlies. It has compartments which I am hoping to put some wet food in to give him his breakfast that way.

I hope you find a solution, I am terrible if I don't get my sleep, I am going to be a gibbering mess when we have a baby!


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Kimsey said:


> Any advice would be very much appreciated as I am considering moving out and letting them get on with it.


Goodness me, are things that bad? Hopefully you are just joking about considering moving out! 

With cats it is always best to establish the rules of the house as soon as possible after you bring them into your home. So for example, 
at bedtime my cats are always shut into the sitting room with their litter tray, beds and their supper, and that is where they stay until morning. We humans then go off to bed and close our bedroom doors. So there are two closed doors between us and the cats, and it would be hard for us to hear them if they did cry or scratch.

If the cats know you mean business when you shut them in downstairs and you ignore any scratching etc they will soon get the idea it is bedtime and will stop protesting. But you have to persevere and not give in.

As for their lack of affection, it is only 2 mths since they came to live with you and early days. They need lots more time to learn to trust you enough to open up to you and be affectionate. They are evidently cats who do not hand out their affections lightly, so it will have far more depth of meaning to it when they do eventually show affection to you.

Do you play with them? Interactive play is one of the best ways to build a bond with your cats. Toys such as Flying Frenzy, Da Bird, Laser Lights, ping pong balls etc, are all excellent for this.  As a previous poster said, if you also play with them before bedtime,, and tire them out, it will help them to settle for the night. Give them a meaty meal of wet food for their supper, so they "eat, groom, and sleep" as per the nature of carnivores. No dry food left down, as it will keep them wakeful and nibbling all night.


----------



## Aeth (Mar 31, 2014)

Oh honey, you must be so exhausted.  You know, if you need to sleep in the spare room just for a night then you just go right ahead and do that... anyone who's been that tired knows that you can't think straight and make reasoned decisions until you've at least had the chance to catch up a bit. 

I also subscribe to the playtime then meal at bedtime routine. I always feed River right before I brush my teeth, she leaves me alone till I fall asleep and usually curls up on the foot of the bed at 3 or 4. She was a bit of a pain for a start but starting that routine did help for me. She usually wakes me up about 7 for breakfast, and can be a bit insistent, but you can't complain at that really. 

Making sure there's enough toys elsewhere in the house and none in the bedroom may also help.


----------



## Britt (May 18, 2014)

I have the same issue with Pooh. He doesn't want to play at bedtime (I tried everything ....). He wakes me up every night between 2 and 4 am. It's rally hard for me to go back to sleep after I feed him (not sure he is meowing and biting me in the arm because he's hungry. Maybe he's just bored). I tried to close the bedroom door but he kept crying and kept me awake. The lack of sleep makes me sleepy and grumpy during the day


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Britt said:


> I have the same issue with Pooh. He doesn't want to play at bedtime (I tried everything ....). He wakes me up every night between 2 and 4 am. It's rally hard for me to go back to sleep after I feed him (not sure he is meowing and biting me in the arm because he's hungry. Maybe he's just bored). I tried to close the bedroom door but he kept crying and kept me awake. The lack of sleep makes me sleepy and grumpy during the day


Play doesn't have to be right before bedtime. My one year old kittens like to play during the evening, but by the middle of the evening they are in a "mooching mood" where they like to wander around the house in a desultory fashion, not doing anything in particular. But the exercise/play earlier in the evening tires them sufficiently to enable them to settle easily at bedtime and sleep right through until 8 am.

If you shut your cat out of the bedroom on to the landing he is bound to cry and scratch at your door. He will know you are just the other side and that if he protests long enough you will give in and open the door. You must have 2 closed doors between you and him for it to work.

Waking you up so early could mean he is hungry. Have you tried filling an auto feeder with wet food and setting it to open around 2 am? 
The autofeeder avoids the need for you to wake up fully and get up to feed him, and you can then ignore him if he starts trying to wake you at silly o'clock.


----------



## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

Mine are shut down in the living room at night with the door closed. They have access to outside via cat flap in the cellar, food and water etc. They're at a good distance away I can't really hear them, but I don't think they bother about being separated from me for a night.


----------



## Aeth (Mar 31, 2014)

One more thing I'd mention is that cats do like a routine, so if you can decide on a routine and stick to it then you might have more success.


----------



## Kimsey (Apr 6, 2014)

Thanks for the replies. I have about a half hour play session with them before bed, that's all they will do before stubbornly lying down. I also give a small amount of wet food after play time but most of the time they do not eat it and it's still there in the morning. If they get me up super early they will never ask for food even if I go to their dishes. The biggest problem I have is hubby is besotted by them, I am trying so hard the get them into a routine of shutting them downstairs but he is so soft and will not leave them down there if I go to bed first. The cats seem to crave attention during the night and will purr very loudly when I take them back downstairs but they have avoided us all day And when I try to sit quietly next to one of them, not even touching them they will walk straight away. I ink a lot of it is I have never adopted older cats before, I have always had them from kittens and managed to somewhat train them during the night to either be quiet outside the bedroom or sleep all night on our bed. It might be the fact I'm not getting younger lol x


----------



## Aeth (Mar 31, 2014)

What kind of a routine do you have with the feeding? If they're grazing on dry food all the time it's maybe not establishing a predictable rhythm of when they're active and inactive - play, eat, sleep, you know? Maybe it would help to adjust your feeding schedule.


----------



## Kimsey (Apr 6, 2014)

Aeth said:


> What kind of a routine do you have with the feeding? If they're grazing on dry food all the time it's maybe not establishing a predictable rhythm of when they're active and inactive - play, eat, sleep, you know? Maybe it would help to adjust your feeding schedule.


I did fed them twice a day in the morning and at tea time but thought this might have been the problem so changed a couple of weeks ago to 3 smaller portions, morning, tea and bed time. All meals are wet food, I did leave a bowl of dry food for them to graze on but now only give less than a handful between them while we are at work but some days they don't even eat that.


----------



## Aeth (Mar 31, 2014)

Hmm, that same pattern did make a difference with River so I hoped it would be advice you could use. Sorry that didn't make a difference for you


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Kimsey, I have found when I adopted older cats that you do have to be more prepared to compromise in what you expect of them. 

I adopted a couple of senior cats (ages of 14 and 15) at separate times in the past, and found in both their cases it was impossible to train them to accept staying indoors all night. When I kept the (neutered) male in at night he sprayed everywhere and when I kept the female in at night she cried and became agitated. Neither cat ever went beyond my garden and my next door neighbour's garden, and there is no traffic here at night so I felt they were fairly safe being free to use the catflap at night.

As your two are older cats maybe they have a history of sleeping all day and being active at night:- perhaps their previous human guardian was a night owl! So I agree it could be harder to change their behaviour. 

However, as someone else has already mentioned, cats respond best to a consistent routine. So if you and your OH are not 'singing from the same hymn sheet' in terms of agreeing their bedtime routine, then it will be disruptive for the cats as basically there is no actual routine being provided for them to learn. 

It does look as though your options are: 

(a) talk to your OH and try and reach an understanding together with regards to a bedtime routine that suits ALL of you (not just the cats) or 

(b) take yourself off to the spare room to sleep and let OH have the cats with him in the bedroom all night if he wants.

It depends how reasonable your OH is prepared to be, how much he is willing to compromise to accommodate your needs. If he is not usually a selfish fellow perhaps it need pointing out to him that your own needs (e.g. for a decent night's sleep in your own bed) are getting pushed aside.

I don't recall you mentioning your cats' ages but if they are still young enough to play, that is going to be the way you build a bond with them. Because when they play they focus on that and forget to be self-conscious or anxious. 

One of my one year old cats went through a phase where she became a bit standoffish. She was eating well and racing around the house, so it was not apparently a health issue. I could only conclude it was a lack of self-confidence issue (the reason why, I did not fathom). 

Initially I responded to her by respecting her wish not to be touched, but found after a few weeks of this she was becoming even more shy. So I went for the opposite approach and began paying her a lot more attention - in the form of her favourite kinds of play. This worked so well that soon her self- confidence came back and she began allowing me to stroke her and pick her up again. 

So sometimes there is no one right way to solve these problems and it is worth trying different approaches to see what might work.

I wish you well in resolving the bedtime routine issue, as for me there is nothing worse than being starved of sleep. 

Incidentally as your OH is besotted with the cats, he sounds like an ideal candidate to volunteer at one of your local Cat Rescue Shelters. If he was helping to care for other cats in a Shelter it might perhaps lessen the intensity of his focus on the cats at home, which might in turn help resolve 
the differences of opinion between you.


----------



## Kimsey (Apr 6, 2014)

Chillminx thank you for all your advice. I think I must have hit an nerve with hubby yesterday and he could obviously see how tired I was. He said are you feeling ok as you never ever lie on the settee during the day but I was so tired. So I went to bed last night as normal woke up at 3am looked to see why I wasn't being woke up and the cats were not there. He had locked them downstairs. I had 5 hours of sleep that was absolute bliss. My husband is a wonderful man and would always do anything to please me and never ever upset me but my 2 girlies have got him well and truly where they want him lol. 

My 2 have just turned one this month and they are standoffish, but friendly when they want to be. It's like having toddlers again we give them both the same amount of attention but if you stroke one before the other, the other one goes off in the huff. I think a lot of it is I am very impatient and I want them to trust and love us straight away but it will obviously take a long time. Its one step forward and two back at the minute but I have no doubt with a lot of love and attention they will get there x


----------



## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

Kimsey said:


> So I went to bed last night as normal woke up at 3am looked to see why I wasn't being woke up and the cats were not there. He had locked them downstairs.


that's what I do with mine otherwise they're knocking about the bedroom all night. :thumbup1:


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Kimsey, very pleased to hear your OH seems to have got the message that you need your sleep at night and has shut the cats downstairs. I hope this continues. 

Please stress to him how important it is to keep to a routine with cats, so they learn what is expected of them. I am sure you can put your case well and as he is such a kind & loving partner he will be only too pleased to do whatever makes you happy. 

I thought you were speaking of older adult cats, not cats of 1 year old who are barely past kittenhood. At that age their socialisation has not been completed and they are still learning how to relate to humans. They are not usually lap sitters at that age, nor do they always like being picked up or stroked a lot, though there will always be exceptions of course, 

My 2 young ones are 1 yr old and I still think of them very much as kittens, as they are super playful and crazy! They please themselves as to when they are friendly to us. Some days they are very affectionate, other days they are not interested, as they are too busy doing their own thing, racing around the house, or sitting for hours outside on the enclosed veranda at the back of my house watching the birds and squirrels in the garden, or catching insects.  

Soon I will be allowing mine out in the garden, & then I expect they will be even more absorbed in doing their own thing, and paying scant attention to us humans no doubt. This is completely normal with young cats. 

Once my youngsters have found their place in the world and are not so overawed by new sights, new scents, new sounds, and new experiences, I am sure they will start being affectionate to us. I see no reason why these 2 will be any different to all my previous cats over the years. It is the way kittens become cats, and one has to let them develop at their own pace. 

I wish you lots of quiet nights of good sleep from now on anyway!


----------



## ForeverHome (Jan 14, 2014)

Kimsey said:


> The cats seem to crave attention during the night and will purr very loudly when I take them back downstairs but they have avoided us all day And when I try to sit quietly next to one of them, not even touching them they will walk straight away. I ink a lot of it is I have never adopted older cats before,


That sounds very much like cats who are very affectionate but want to give their love to you on their own terms and in their own time. What you describe rings bells with my Molly. Early on she would sometimes lie on the bed once I was settled. Now, she doesn't come on the bed at all but if there's someone staying she might sit next to them when they are settled and sleepy. Then she started sitting next to me but if I touched her she'd be gone. To stroke her, I have to ask and she condescends to allow me, or she has to demand from me - it's still, a year on, completely on her terms.

Kittens need lots of handling and socialising. Adult cats are their own cat, and even though they have come to your home, you are the intruders in their lives (is it only me who feels this way?) so it all has to be handled very differently. Molly may be a bit extreme, but hopefully illustrates the difference between a kitten and adult cat. A kitten you would handle; an adult you let them come to you. The fact they are coming to you when you're in bed and purring happily suggests that's all it is - they want you to back off and let them call the shots.


----------



## Kimsey (Apr 6, 2014)

chillminx said:


> Kimsey, very pleased to hear your OH seems to have got the message that you need your sleep at night and has shut the cats downstairs. I hope this continues.
> 
> Please stress to him how important it is to keep to a routine with cats, so they learn what is expected of them. I am sure you can put your case well and as he is such a kind & loving partner he will be only too pleased to do whatever makes you happy.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for your kind words. Night two locked downstairs and no crying that I heard or damage. I hope it lasts. I would love to get my 2 back outside as the previous owner did but they are ragdoll x and we live on a busy road at the front but a quiet lane at the back and my head says not to let them out, knowing my luck they will go straight the front. I will be looking into cat proofing the garden in the future when money is a bit better, even if they are just out on a harness x


----------



## ForeverHome (Jan 14, 2014)

Kimsey said:


> Thank you so much for your kind words. Night two locked downstairs and no crying that I heard or damage. I hope it lasts. I would love to get my 2 back outside as the previous owner did but they are ragdoll x and we live on a busy road at the front but a quiet lane at the back and my head says not to let them out, knowing my luck they will go straight the front. I will be looking into cat proofing the garden in the future when money is a bit better, even if they are just out on a harness x


I don't know if it's a Ragdoll thing but Bobby is certainly loyal to one person, it took him a little while to become 'my' cat and he won't go to anyone else, not even my mum who looks after them often.


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Awww, I love Ragdolls, my sister has one! :001_wub: No, I wouldn't let yours out to roam - like you I would also be worried they would go out the front and get on the road. I believe that Raggies don't have great road sense!  Just not worth the risk. 

It will be lovely if you can cat-proof your garden at some stage:thumbup1: I bet they'll have a whale of a time then! 

Would love to see some pics of your two!


----------



## Kimsey (Apr 6, 2014)

Will try and get some pics up. They are so different to raggies I even asked the vet if they were just normal long hairs but she said they are x ragdolls. Don't know how she can tell though x


----------



## Britt (May 18, 2014)

chillminx said:


> Waking you up so early could mean he is hungry. Have you tried filling an auto feeder with wet food and setting it to open around 2 am?
> The autofeeder avoids the need for you to wake up fully and get up to feed him, and you can then ignore him if he starts trying to wake you at silly o'clock.


I gave Pooh some chicken around 9pm yesterday, went to bed at 10 and he didn't wake me up until 4:30pm. That wasn't that bad 
I'm gonna buy an auto feeder because as soon as I get up he walks to his bowl which means that he's probably hungry.


----------

