# What to do - Unhappy cat



## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

​All was going well with Tommy and Stitch. Stitch was tolerating him and would sniff him and be happy eating in the same room.

Lately things seem to be worse than when Tommy was adopted in December.Stitch didnt come in last night, he has appeared this morning but wont come in the house. The last couple of weeks he would come in but would growl and grumble the whole time, eat and disappear again.

We have tried keeping him in but he gets so distressed, hisses and swipes at you and can get out the cat flap even if its locked. Even if Tommy is shut away he still wont stay in the house.

We have pet remedy diffusers on 24/7 (makes no difference). He wont eat any calming treats or his food if it has xylzene or nutracalm in it, doesnt matter what I hide it in he wont eat it. I cant even hold him still to do a spot on.

He seems to have gotten worse since Tommy was allowed in the garden, but I cant understand why. Tommy just ignores him, Stitch however hisses every time he even sees Tommy. I couldnt part with either of them but Stitch is so grumpy and stressed that it's not fair on him.

We are trying to sort out a separate area for Stitch but cant get a cat flap fitted in the wall for a while, I also worry that even with his own room he'd only go in there at night to sleep and our lovely boy would become an outdoor cat who has nothing to do with us . Is there anything we can do? 3months we have have Tommy now


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## Ceiling Kitty (Mar 7, 2010)

It sounds like Stitch was really bowled over by the presence of a strange in his house and isn't finding it any easier as time goes on. 

I doubt you're going to make them friends, so your aim really is to allow them a chance to lead completely separate lives under the same roof. It sounds like this is already what you're working towards. 

Are they fed separate rooms? How many litter trays do they have?


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

When Stitch comes in he immediately heads to the kitchen so I feed him in there. Tommy gets fed in the dining room which is next to the kitchen but they are never together when they get fed - meal times are impossible here!

He was then going upstairs to sleep in my sons room, however he would growl and hiss the whole way up stairs. Tommy is generally in the lounge, the cat tree and his bed and a large litter tray is in there so that is his room I suppose, plus I can shut him in and keep him separate if need be. There is another tray in the bathroom & 1 in the hall. Stitch uses none of them, he hasnt used a tray in years but I have them there anyway. He has just come in the back door to have his breakfast, as soon as he is finished he is back outside again. He swiped me this morning when I stroked him I have just sat outside in the front garden with him and he has enjoyed a bit of a fuss but he is jumpy. Tommy wanted to be friends but he has been hissed and swiped at so many times he keeps out his way. If Stitch could just ignore Tommy I'd be happy with that. Tommy is desperate to go outside but I dont want him upsetting or annoying Stitch so he is being kept in for a bit.


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## QOTN (Jan 3, 2014)

Could Stitch be feeling poorly for some reason but blaming Tommy? Some cats do that if they have issues with another cat in their household.


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

QOTN said:


> Could Stitch be feeling poorly for some reason but blaming Tommy? Some cats do that if they have issues with another cat in their household.


 my OH said that after I'd posted. I have checked him over as best I can and cant see or feel anything obvious but perhaps a vet visit might be worthwhile


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## QOTN (Jan 3, 2014)

claire8234 said:


> my OH said that after I'd posted. I have checked him over as best I can and cant see or feel anything obvious but perhaps a vet visit might be worthwhile


At least it might rule out one possibility. Alternatively if something is wrong, far better to get him treated sooner rather than later.


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

If Tommy has been in the garden then Stitch will be able to smell him out there which would explain why he is worse maybe. 
I wish I had advice on how to help, but I don't  I just really hope it will settle down.


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

@claire8234 - I am so sorry to hear of this latest development hun, just when things seemed to be settling down. I agree with QOTN it is worth ruling out a possible health issue, as I remember before when Stitch was unwell he became tetchy and intolerant.

If there is no health issue then I agree with Ceiling Kitty, I would work as you are towards enabling the two cats to live separate lives under the same roof, with their own separate areas.

I understand the logistics of having separate areas is not always easy (I speak from experience! ) but I think what would also help at present is if Stitch and Tommy could have separate time in the garden on a rota/time-share basis.

Yes, it is true that Stitch will be able to smell Tommy's scent in the garden, but cats can and do accept the scents of other cats in their territory, cats passing through as it were, and as long as they don't actually come face to face with an intruder in their garden they seem OK. This is certainly true in the case of two of my cats who hate each other and have to be kept apart, so they have separate areas of the house and separate garden time.

For the moment you may need to continue keeping Tommy indoors and in his own part of the house, in order to persuade Stitch to come back inside. 
Then when he has calmed down you could start letting Tommy have some garden time whilst Stitch is safely shut indoors asleep. Once you have an additional cat flap it will help, particularly if only one cat's chip is scanned into each cat flap, so they both have their own way into the house.

As the weather has turned milder maybe you could continue sitting outside a bit with Stitch each day to give him some company, to reassure him.


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

​Stitch comes in for food and goes straight back out again so at the minute its impossible to keep Stitch inside at all, he doesnt even sleep anywhere inside now so having outside time on a rota basis is going to be really hard.

Perhaps keeping Tommy on his harness and lead might help? OH has tried locking the cat flap to keep Stitch in but it really upsets him and he hisses and lashes out. He wont settle anywhere in the house.

I think I might feed Tommy in the lounge and keep him in for a bit to see if that makes a difference. We are going away in August for 10 days and my mum is coming in twice a day to feed the cats, I worry about what will happen when we are away


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

This may/probably will go against many others thoughts but personally I would find a new home for Tommy.
Stitch has shown his dislike of sharing territory for a long time now and I think it is unfair to force him into avoiding his home because of Tommy's presence.
From personal experience I would not recommend going down the "separate living arrangements" route,I did and it was hell and probably very unfair/selfish of me to keep both when they so obviously didn't like each other.
Some cats will just never accept another in "their space"


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## Ceiling Kitty (Mar 7, 2010)

buffie said:


> This may/probably will go against many others thoughts but personally I would find a new home for Tommy.
> Stitch has shown his dislike of sharing territory for a long time now and I think it is unfair to force him into avoiding his home because of Tommy's presence.
> From personal experience I would not recommend going down the "separate living arrangements" route,I did and it was hell and probably very unfair/selfish of me to keep both when they so obviously didn't like each other.
> Some cats will just never accept another in "their space"


I think rehoming is a perfectly reasonable option.


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

Rehoming Tommy is a reasonable option but I just don't think I could do it, the thought of never seeing him again is heartbreaking, plus I don't think my kids would ever forgive me. 

I didn't think Stitch would be this bad, if I had any idea he'd react like this I wouldn't have rehomed Tommy.


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## Ceiling Kitty (Mar 7, 2010)

claire8234 said:


> Rehoming Tommy is a reasonable option but I just don't think I could do it, the thought of never seeing him again is heartbreaking, plus I don't think my kids would ever forgive me.
> 
> I didn't think Stitch would be this bad, if I had any idea he'd react like this I wouldn't have rehomed Tommy.


It pays to have a plan B though. It must be equally heartbreaking to see Stitch how he is. You don't have to rush into anything but I do think, from what you've been saying, you should consider it xxx


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

Yes I agree, a plan B is worth having. This is horrible x


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## Lilylass (Sep 13, 2012)

chillminx said:


> Yes, it is true that Stitch will be able to smell Tommy's scent in the garden, but cats can and do accept the scents of other cats in their territory, cats passing through as it were, and as long as they don't actually come face to face with an intruder in their garden they seem OK. This is certainly true in the case of two of my cats who hate each other and have to be kept apart, so they have separate areas of the house and separate garden time.


@claire8234 so sorry things haven't settled down - Stitch sounds very like Archie was when him & Mia were fighting all the time - he'd literally go out 1st thing & I'd only see him again at bedtime, he was very unhappy 

I've quoted the bit from @chillminx post as this can def work - it's not a bundle of laughs or easy, don't get me wrong - but my 2 are now both happier & less stressed than they've been for years. It's hard - esp at the start - and, yes, I often feel that one or the other (or the dog) is missing out on 'me' time - but it was the only option for us and, touch wood, they all seem happy

Both cats have 'their room' where they are when the other is out - they happily share every other area of the house and garden without any issues - they obviously smell each other / hear each other but that seems to be fine now that they both feel secure & know the other can't 'get them'

Is it ideal -no ..... there are days when it's a PITA, esp if time is short or something's on and one or the other doesn't get their usual out time - in the summer it's awful not just being able to leave the doors open on a nice day .... but it's better than them fighting / hurting each other and being stressed[/user]


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

Oh Claire....once again, I can only offer sympathy.
I know how special Stitch is to you, and also how Tommy has stolen your heart with his affectionate ways and I really REALLY hope there will be a swift and substantial improvement in relations which allows you to keep both in a harmonious household.


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

Paddypaws said:


> Oh Claire....once again, I can only offer sympathy.
> I know how special Stitch is to you, and also how Tommy has stolen your heart with his affectionate ways and I really REALLY hope there will be a swift and substantial improvement in relations which allows you to keep both in a harmonious household.


 I really hope so PP. Stitch came in about 8pm last night and went upstairs, grumbled a bit but nothing serious. I put his food on the landing & a tray in the bathroom and he stayed happily in my sons room until about 8am when I let him out for a wee (he refuses to use a tray).

He seems happier being able to go upstairs so for now we are keeping Tommy in the lounge & not letting him upstairs which doesn't bother him at all, he is happy in the lounge. Once Tommy has come in from the garden I'll keep him in for a bit so at least Stitch is outside on his own - if that makes sense.

Will try to sneak some nutracalm into him. I have the spot on calming but not sure he'll keep still enough.

Should be a nice day today so I'll go and sit outside with Stitch.

I think Tommy going in the garden has unnerved him a bit, so I really hope that he settles down again x


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Glad to hear Stitch has spent the night safely indoors. 

Have you tried the Beaphar Calming Treats instead of the spot-on for him? I bought them for my cat who has stress issues, and he loves them but unfortunately he can't have more than the occasional one as any more upset his tummy (he has food sensitivities). So I have gone back to using the Calming spot-on for him, which is always effective. 

With the Calming spot-on I warm it first by putting the 'capsule' next to my skin for half an hour. Then I wait until he is eating and sneak up on him (mean!) and quickly squirt it on the back of his head. He still gets upset with me, but nowadays he forgives me more quickly.  And it is only once a week.


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## Lilylass (Sep 13, 2012)

chillminx said:


> Glad to hear Stitch has spent the night safely indoors.
> 
> Have you tried the Beaphar Calming Treats instead of the spot-on for him? I bought them for my cat who has stress issues, and he loves them but unfortunately he can't have more than the occasional one as any more upset his tummy (he has food sensitivities). So I have gone back to using the Calming spot-on for him, which is always effective.
> 
> With the Calming spot-on I warm it first by putting the 'capsule' next to my skin for half an hour. Then I wait until he is eating and sneak up on him (mean!) and quickly squirt it on the back of his head. He still gets upset with me, but nowadays he forgives me more quickly.  And it is only once a week.


Ahhhhh don't remind me - Mia needs her dose of the calming spot on today! I cut the top off the pippette & sook it up into a medication syringe (like a metacam one) and then sqoosh it on when I get a chance! She does get a bit miffed & won't come near me for a while but it def works!

The treats were hit / miss here - Mia (who I bought them for) won't touch them & Archie (also stressy but thankfully not aggressive with it like she is) will sometimes eat them but most often not
@claire8234 I have about 1/2 bag left that I can send if you want to try them for Stitch?


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

I've got the calming treats but he looks at my like I am trying to poison him!

He has just had a tin of applaws with nutracalm in (this is going to get expensive!) and he ate the whole lot. 

I've got a spot on on him by feeding him Whiskas dentabites. He has been purring and rubbing round me and not a single grumble which is nice. I've been outside all day & Stitch has popped back every now & then for a fuss.

Tommy is fast asleep in bed & has been outside today so he can stay in now. 

I don't mind Stitch being out all day, he has always been an outdoor cat, spending hours outdoors. However, its different when he stays out because he wants to, not because he is unhappy or stressed out. 

I might order some royal canin calm. Stitch still has a tiny portion of dry at night (the only way we got him to eat when he was ill was feed him dry & he still likes a little bit).

OH thinks something may have spooked him outside or he's had a punch up with another cat, he seems a lot calmer today & less jumpy. 

I am hoping that the nutracalm and spot on helps. 

X


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

One of my cats was bullied by a newcomer and we had to keep her separate from the others. All my cats are indoor kitties but they have an enclosed cat run too. Lucy had access to the kitchen and conservatory during the day and our bedroom at night. The other cats had the rest of the house. When we built the cat run, we built it in two sections, so Lucy had her own separate outdoor space. It worked very successfully for ten years till her death in 2012. It can be done, you just have to figure out how it can work for you. 

It may take Stitch a while to come to the realisation that upstairs is his space and Tommy isn't going to come into it. I know it took Lucy a while to realise this, but once she did, she became a very happy cat again.


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

Have you tried giving him a pill using Pill Pockets? Not all cats will be fooled by them but some of mine are. They've been a godsend.


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## moggie14 (Sep 11, 2013)

Sorry to read your problems hun. Fingers crossed the treatments today will help Stitch. RC calm is a great idea xx


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

the RC calm food does seem to be very palatable and is a good choice if you are already feeding him a small amount of dry anyway.
@Lilylass should have info on the cheapest place to buy it


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## Lilylass (Sep 13, 2012)

Paddypaws said:


> the RC calm food does seem to be very palatable and is a good choice if you are already feeding him a small amount of dry anyway.
> @Lilylass should have info on the cheapest place to buy it


Once you know it helps, the 4kg bags - Zoofast! (they're usually only couple £s more than the 2kg ones!)

Sadly 2kg is the smallest bag which is a PITA if you want to just try it - generally a hunt around the UK suppliers will find it for about £20

Fetch have it for £16.49 if they deliver to your area (they don't realise Scotland exists so no idea of their delivery t&cs etc)

Again, offer is there if you want a little to see if he'll eat it (recently opened a 4kg bag so have plenty)


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

I don't like giving him dry but it was my last resort to get him eating and it worked! I put down a tiny bit at night and it stops him waking me up at 4am when he decides he is hungry. 

I would love to try a small amount of RC calm please if you don't mind. 

I don't know if its a coincidence or if all my efforts to drug him have paid off but he is a different cat this evening  he came in at 7.30pm - unheard of and hasn't tried to get out again. We haven't had desperate miaowing or bashing the cat flap. 

I placed his bowls on the landing and he seemed so much happier up there. Usually he grumbles the whole time he eats but this evening he hasn't. He had half a nutracalm this morning and then other half this evening. I think it has helped.

The pet remedy is on upstairs and my little boy has made him a bed in his room bless him. He has chucked everything off his chest of drawers and put a couple of blankets on it! Stitch seems to like it & is lying there purring. I haven't heard him purr in ages 

I hope this isn't a one off, he has sat on my lap and rubbed round me and its just lovely. Fingers crossed x


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## moggie14 (Sep 11, 2013)

Aw that sounds great, I hope it continues xx


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## Lilylass (Sep 13, 2012)

claire8234 said:


> I don't like giving him dry but it was my last resort to get him eating and it worked! I put down a tiny bit at night and it stops him waking me up at 4am when he decides he is hungry.
> 
> I would love to try a small amount of RC calm please if you don't mind.
> 
> ...


Wow that's great news!

If you pm your address I'll send some on Monday

Mia has 10g am & pm & that's usually enough to keep her mood stable - she had a 'blip' a few weeks ago so has the calming spot on just now & zyklene as well (I have started to wean her back off that though & touch wood shes fine) - but she managed over a year with just the rc calm


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

That's great news Claire!  Looking forward to more updates of his progress, bless him!


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

Lilylass said:


> Wow that's great news!
> 
> If you pm your address I'll send some on Monday
> 
> Mia has 10g am & pm & that's usually enough to keep her mood stable - she had a 'blip' a few weeks ago so has the calming spot on just now & zyklene as well (I have started to wean her back off that though & touch wood shes fine) - but she managed over a year with just the rc calm


He wouldn't touch the food with zylkene in but he was fine with the nutracalm split into am and pm doses, mixed in his wet food - its expensive though but worth it if he is happy.


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

Sounds like the nutracalm is suiting him....where do you buy that?
edit....I think I asked you this before and the answer was that your vet supplied it! I cannot find it for sale at any of the online stores


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

PP - is this the same thing?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pet-Calming...UTF8&qid=1459671595&sr=1-1&keywords=nutracalm

EDIT:

Or this:

http://www.vetuk.co.uk/dog-behaviou...vbs-liquid-nutricalm-supplement-120ml-p-10811


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## Paddypaws (May 4, 2010)

chillminx said:


> PP - is this the same thing?
> 
> http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pet-Calming...UTF8&qid=1459671595&sr=1-1&keywords=nutracalm


No, similar but not the same....and in tablet form rather than capsules. I have emailed nutracalm and asked for a sample!


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## moggie14 (Sep 11, 2013)

http://nutracalm.co.uk/
Looks like they don't sell online - when you click on 'find your local stockist' it says you can only purchase from a vet


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

moggie14 said:


> http://nutracalm.co.uk/
> Looks like they don't sell online - when you click on 'find your local stockist' it says you can only purchase from a vet


 yes its a vet only medicine and as yet you cant buy it online with a prescription. Hopefully in the future it will be available online. Its a pain as I have to drive 20mins to the vets to get it! Its quite expensive but he wont touch food with zylkene in and it seems to have made a big difference already so I'm happy to stick with it. It comes in a capsule so you can open it and mix with food


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## Sacrechat (Feb 27, 2011)

One of my boys just eats the capsule whole. He thinks he's getting a treat.


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## claire8234 (Mar 8, 2013)

I have a purry boy! Sorry the picture is so bad I am sat in the dark, not daring to move - he is on my lap :-o

He has 1/2 a nutracalm with his bowl of wet in the morning plus a bit of RC calm dry and then rest of his nutracalm in wet food in the evening with another small portion of RC calm. If he is hungry in between he has plain wet food.

He is spending much more time in the garden, sunning himself on the wall or on top of the shed like he used to. He can pass by Tommy outside now and ignore him although he is still quite grumbly indoors and I always feed him away from Tommy.

He generally has his evening meal upstairs.

He is coming in a lot earlier, especially if its raining and with a bit of gentle persuasion he will come and settle upstairs.

Some mornings he sleeps in my sons room until 7am-8am and then goes out for a wee, sometimes its 5am if he is desperate!! (still wont use the tray).

I am hoping we have turned a corner now, he much less jumpy and nervy and comes up for a fuss. I'm glad I've had my tea as I refuse to move now


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Claire, this is such good news!

I 'm so pleased to hear Stitch is happier again. Sounds like the Nutracalm is really helping. 

I hope things continue to go well.


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## Lilylass (Sep 13, 2012)

Yay!  Fingers crossed that the corner's been turned


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## Lilylass (Sep 13, 2012)

Meant to say in case you do buy a bag of the RC calm

Mia has a tiny bit each day so a 4kg bag does her several months - I keep it in the bag in an airtight box (lock & lock type thing) & tip a bit into a smaller airtight box - it stays nice & fresh as I'm not opening the bag/box everyday & letting air in all the time x


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## Lilylass (Sep 13, 2012)

@claire8234 in case you're still using the RC Calm and haven't bought any more yet - as @Paddypaws noticed yesterday, it's a good price on Zoofast again http://www.zoofast.co.uk/advanced_s...anin+calm+cat&x=0&y=0&search_in_description=1 (sadly I don't need any just now!)


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