# My poor baby Lola



## polly63 (Sep 21, 2013)

I am distraught, devastated. My 3 and a half month old puppy was out with my OH and his 7 year old son yesterday when she was run over and killed. My OH was playing with her in a large fenced area popular with lots of dogs. They were playing with Lola for a short time off the lead - training and so on. My OH said Lola was playing with them one minute and then just hared off into the distance. She ran a long way and he ran after her calling her all the time but she just kept going all the way to the entrance and into the road where she was killed immediately.

I am full of so many emotions and I cant stop crying. I am so sad and cant believe I will never see my baby again. My children are devastated too. My OH is blaming himself. Although she was with us only a short time I feel I cant bear the loss and pain. What a waste of a young life. I am crying all the time and I know it is bad for the children. How do you find the strength to go on when such a thing happens? xx


----------



## MyBeanie (Sep 5, 2008)

Oh I'm so sorry to hear of your baby Lola, what a tragic accident.

It's so hard to accept there are things in life we have no control over. 

I felt like you last week after my cat Mittens was put to sleep, I was constantly in tears and was worried about my children seeing me upset all the time, but please try not to worry about them, it won't harm them and it's perfectly normal for you to be so devastated. Kids are very resilient and accepting.

This is still so raw for you all and all these emotions are normal. My Mittens was only still very young, which in someways makes it harder to accept.

I'm sorry I'm not great with words but I just want you to know we are here for you anytime.

Vicky xxxx


----------



## rose (Apr 29, 2009)

How dreadful for you all, so sorry. The problem is a puppy is like a young child no fear of danger and acts on impulse. They have no idea of danger. Hopefully she didn't suffer, the driver couldn't have seen such a small pup. 
Please don't feel guilty, it was an accident, unfortunately happens to cats every day. Hope you feel better soon RIP lovely Lola xxx


----------



## rose (Apr 29, 2009)

Hi
I have just read your earlier post about her maybe being blind, what a lot of heartache you have had x


----------



## jonb (Nov 15, 2012)

so sorry for you loss
what an awful accident


----------



## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

My heart goes out to you and your family on the loss of your lovely puppy Lola.
What a terrible accident.
It was no ones fault. It was an accident.
Crying is only normal and although you only had her a short time it is amazing how quick they become one of the family.
It is only natural to be devastated.
Take good care of each other and help each other through this sad time.

R.I.P Lola and run free at Rainbow Bridge xx


----------



## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

I am so sorry, that is very sad. Unfortunately, things happen to our pets which we can't always control and its very hard, especially when they are so young. The pain will get better but it does take time. Bless you Lola.


----------



## Yourgifts Ourgifts (Apr 12, 2009)

So sorry and sad to hear about Lola..it is so sad when one leaves us and no words seem to be able to help...Bless you and your family at this time and sending over big hugs from my lot...


----------



## Quinzell (Mar 14, 2011)

I am so sorry. So tragic


----------



## polly63 (Sep 21, 2013)

Thank you all so much for your comments. It is a long time since I have lost a pet (over 30 years) and I had forgotten just how traumatic it is. I feel truly bereft but reading your kind words has brought me some comfort - you all know how I am feeling. However, you probably haven't all felt the guilt I have - I feel like I have let her down. If she had been taken home by another family she may still be alive. If I had been there when she ran I keep thinking she would have come back to me as I was her main walker and carer. If only she was on the lead all the time - my OH thought it was safe and would be good to teach her recall - how ironic. He is gutted and blames himself. My 13 year old daughter is distraught, she has been having a terrible time in school and the puppy has been a real comfort to her. My 7 year old still thinks she will come back. 

In only 10 weeks she has taken over our lives. I can hardly go in the kitchen where she slept. I keep looking at the empty space. Her paw prints are still on the kitchen floor as I can't clean them off. Whenever I open a kitchen cupboard I picture her sitting at my feet keen to see if there is anything in there for her. I know every pet is wonderful but she was truly special to us. Her life was always in the balance. The terrible thing is that she might not have lived long anyway as it was suspected she had hydrocephalus. On Monday the opthalmologist told us she wasnt blind and there was only slight swelling of her optic nerve in one eye. We were overjoyed and were beginning to think that she might be okay, we looked to the future with her. It feels like she has been stolen from us, that is the only way I can put it. 

I am so sorry for everybody else who has been through this, is going through it and will have to at some point. As a novice in the death of a loved animal I don't know how you cope.

Thanks again for you kind words

xx


----------



## Cromford (Nov 12, 2012)

polly63 said:


> Thank you all so much for your comments. It is a long time since I have lost a pet (over 30 years) and I had forgotten just how traumatic it is. I feel truly bereft but reading your kind words has brought me some comfort - you all know how I am feeling. However, you probably haven't all felt the guilt I have - I feel like I have let her down. If she had been taken home by another family she may still be alive. If I had been there when she ran I keep thinking she would have come back to me as I was her main walker and carer. If only she was on the lead all the time - my OH thought it was safe and would be good to teach her recall - how ironic. He is gutted and blames himself. My 13 year old daughter is distraught, she has been having a terrible time in school and the puppy has been a real comfort to her. My 7 year old still thinks she will come back.
> 
> In only 10 weeks she has taken over our lives. I can hardly go in the kitchen where she slept. I keep looking at the empty space. Her paw prints are still on the kitchen floor as I can't clean them off. Whenever I open a kitchen cupboard I picture her sitting at my feet keen to see if there is anything in there for her. I know every pet is wonderful but she was truly special to us. Her life was always in the balance. The terrible thing is that she might not have lived long anyway as it was suspected she had hydrocephalus. On Monday the opthalmologist told us she wasnt blind and there was only slight swelling of her optic nerve in one eye. We were overjoyed and were beginning to think that she might be okay, we looked to the future with her. It feels like she has been stolen from us, that is the only way I can put it.
> 
> ...


Hi Polly,

So sorry to hear about poor Lola. They don't need long to make themselves one of the family, do they?

One thing I would say is that feelings of guilt are as commonplace as they are unwarranted. My mate Scrabble was put to sleep to avoid the pain and distress of age related organ failure, I have never felt guiltier over anything in my life. It doesn't matter how we lose them, the guilt is a natural reaction.

In your (and your OH's ) case I would say that your emotions simply show how much you had grown to care for Lola in such a short time. She obviously had a great life with you that was tragically and prematurely cut short by an accident. 
I hope the pain you are feeling eases soon.

Lola will be waiting at the bridge. Run free...


----------



## JonandSarah (Sep 20, 2013)

Hi,
Im so sorry to hear of your loss and in such tragic circumstances. Its all so raw for you right now and I can imagine the pain is terrible and so many thoughts and emotions going through your heads.
All you can do is try to grieve together as a family. In time, whenever you feel ready, and this could be today or it could be next week or next month, you can put together some sort of shrine or remembrance area, with photos, favourite toys, ashes (if you have them) etc. Lean on each other and cry with each other and remember her together.
We (my girlfriend and I) lost our beautiful cat Snowy exactly 7 weeks ago today and I can tell you it does get easier with time, and the guilt and questions do lessen over time, but you only have this guilt and feelings because you loved her so much, and when people love a pet it means that that pet has a happy home and a happy life. Lola can be thankful for that and you can be proud in the knowledge that she lived a happy life because of you.
We had only had Snowy officially for about 2 weeks but he had unofficially been ours for around 6 months (we adopted him gradually over time from a neighbour who wasnt treating him very well). He was only about 18 months old, and he was run over outside our house whilst we were on holiday so we felt huge amounts of guilt. It is amazing how quick they become an integral part of your lives and how empty the house feels and we too feel like Snowys future was stolen from us, we had saved him from living in squalid conditions and being locked in and locked out from his home - and we had become a little family and we had so many good times ahead.
I have found it really helps to read the comments on here and share your experiences and thoughts and grief. I felt that I couldnt express the extent of my grief to colleagues at work, or even friends or family, but on here I can write down my thoughts and feelings and people understand - so Im glad you came on here and hope you find it helpful. It will make you feel sad at times but theres nowt wrong with tears
Do things in your own time. If you dont want to tidy her stuff away just yet, then dont. Its up to you, do it when you want to. We still have Snowys food mat down where it used to be. One day well store it away. We like to think that he is still here with us in spirit. We light a candle for him everynight. We want to remember him because he meant so much to us, we dont want to try and forget about him and tidy everything away, but thats just our way of doing things.
Take each day as it comes.
So sorry again to read of your loss.
RIP Lola


----------



## sids mum (Jan 21, 2013)

2 weeks ago today my 8 month old puppy sid also got run over he died in my arms as I was there. Worst day of my life.
My kids age 13 11 5 are all devestated too.
It gets a tiny bit easier everyday I am so sorry for your loss. We all blamed ourselves too but us humans can only do so much to protect our furry friends.
We have already put our name down for another puppy. Not to replace our sid thats not possible but to try any give my kids hope. They miss him so very much.
I hope you will come to terms as a family with what has happened to you all it will take time and I dont think it will ever go but I think it will get easier.
Maybe our puppies are up there together causing trouble.
Kind thoughts to you all xxxxx


----------



## sids mum (Jan 21, 2013)

I forgot sid had parvo and almost died we got him through that so I know how you feel. I was his main carer and he never responded to me calling him he just ran off. He was actually on his way back across the road to me when he got hit so you talked about guilt my word I am so with you there. I dream of it every night and everyday. I cant bare to go to the park where he ran or to the road he got hit and everyday I go outside to where we hurried him and have a chat.
You are not alone in this.
All the best xxxxx


----------



## reannabow (Oct 30, 2013)

So sorry about Lola - My thoughts are with you.

Our 3 month old puppy had to be put to sleep on Monday as she got critically ill.

I am so devastated it is really harrowing - I share your years and pain.

Lola was blessed to have so much love from you and your family - thinking of you all xxxx


----------



## jmk (Nov 7, 2013)

So Sorry For you loss I do feel for you and your family But you or your OH trying to take the blame or think your to blame that is normal ...But I Dont wanna sound hard here hope im not but I would never let my dog of a lead unless I knew he would return when called to come back the recall training is a must for all dogs. Once again I am very sorry for your loss..


----------



## polly63 (Sep 21, 2013)

JonandSarah said:


> Hi,
> Im so sorry to hear of your loss and in such tragic circumstances. Its all so raw for you right now and I can imagine the pain is terrible and so many thoughts and emotions going through your heads.
> All you can do is try to grieve together as a family. In time, whenever you feel ready, and this could be today or it could be next week or next month, you can put together some sort of shrine or remembrance area, with photos, favourite toys, ashes (if you have them) etc. Lean on each other and cry with each other and remember her together.
> We (my girlfriend and I) lost our beautiful cat Snowy exactly 7 weeks ago today and I can tell you it does get easier with time, and the guilt and questions do lessen over time, but you only have this guilt and feelings because you loved her so much, and when people love a pet it means that that pet has a happy home and a happy life. Lola can be thankful for that and you can be proud in the knowledge that she lived a happy life because of you.
> ...


Thanks so much for your reply and care. I am so sorry to hear about Snowy and I think it is lovely to keep her things out to remember her - I would have loved to have left Lola's things out but my daughter couldnt bear it and wanted me to put them away. She hasn't asked yet where her things are - I guess we are all different in getting through grief. I have a box with all her things in on my wardrobe. I have put her little collar and some tufts of hair taken from her in a little heartshaped box which I keep by my bed. Doing this has given me so much comfort, I feel like she is still with me. 
Take care of yourselves and remember that you made Snowy's life so much better and happier - be happy for the time you had with Snowy, that is what I'm trying to do with Lola x


----------



## polly63 (Sep 21, 2013)

sids mum said:


> I forgot sid had parvo and almost died we got him through that so I know how you feel. I was his main carer and he never responded to me calling him he just ran off. He was actually on his way back across the road to me when he got hit so you talked about guilt my word I am so with you there. I dream of it every night and everyday. I cant bare to go to the park where he ran or to the road he got hit and everyday I go outside to where we hurried him and have a chat.
> You are not alone in this.
> All the best xxxxx


Thank you for such a caring reply. I am so sorry to hear about Sid - what a terrible experience for you. I am exactly the same as you in that I cannot bear to walk anywhere near our twice daily route to the park. In such a small amount of time our animals become an intricate and solid part of our lives. Please don't feel guilty about what happened, you don't deserve that punishment on top of what you have already been through
Take care and I'm thinking of you xxx


----------



## polly63 (Sep 21, 2013)

reannabow said:


> So sorry about Lola - My thoughts are with you.
> 
> Our 3 month old puppy had to be put to sleep on Monday as she got critically ill.
> 
> ...


Thank you for such a caring reply - I am so sorry for your loss - how awful for you to go through this. Ironically, this is how I though I would lose Lola - it was believed very early on that she had hydrocephalus although the Vet backed away from this diagnosis a little when he saw how well and happy she was. However, the vet originally rang me and told me not to expect her to live beyond 4 or 5 months. It is as if her life was always in the balance.
There is I think something so sad and devastating about such a young animal dying - it just doesn't seem right or fair - to me it feels like she was stolen from us. All you can do is focus on your love for your puppy and how much you gave each other. 
Take care, there are so many people, myself included, who know just how you feel and we are all thinking of you. Your puppy is at peace now and running free... just like Lola xxx


----------



## polly63 (Sep 21, 2013)

jmk said:


> So Sorry For you loss I do feel for you and your family But you or your OH trying to take the blame or think your to blame that is normal ...But I Dont wanna sound hard here hope im not but I would never let my dog of a lead unless I knew he would return when called to come back the recall training is a must for all dogs. Once again I am very sorry for your loss..


Don't worry it is something I think of all day long and it is my greatest regret that the day didn't pan out differently so that I was there. She may still be alive today but who knows...


----------

