# Feeling guilty over the death of my dog.



## Chewy75 (Aug 28, 2017)

hi all, I lost my cavalier king Charles bailey on Thursday. He was 11 yrs and 6 months. He had been on medication for a year for his heart murmur and had been doing great. We went to his last check up and she said we won't need to see him for another 6 months. Since that appointment he just seemed to go down hill. We went on holiday for a week, he was left with family so he was with people who he loved. When we got back we noticed he was swelling around his stomach. He was still eating , drinking and going the toilet fine, but we booked him in for the vets so they could look at him. They took his bloods , and upped his tablets but did nothing for the bloating. 2 days later he was a little bit bigger still going the toilet fine but off his food. That night he died in his sleep. I feel so guilty that I was asleep when he died and he was on his own. Also that the vets should of done more for him and we should of done more. I'm really struggling atm and can't get past these feelings of guilt and that I have let him down. I miss him so much. Any advice from people who have been through this. Thanks


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## Jackie C (Feb 16, 2016)

Awww, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Bailey. xx You are obviously heart-broken, and I must say a tear or two came to my eyes when I read your story. It's very common to feel guilty after losing our furry family members, but try not to, you did the best you could for him. 
Yes, he was alone, but as far as he was concerned, he just went to sleep like normal, but this time he didn't wake up. He wasn't frightened, he wasn't suffering after a long illness, he wasn't at the horrible vets, he was at home, relaxing, doing what he did every night. He wouldn't have any concept or understanding that it was his last night. He went to sleep knowing he was loved. It sounds like it was just very sudden and there was nothing that could have been done. xxx 
RIP Bailey. xx


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## Chewy75 (Aug 28, 2017)

Jackie C said:


> Awww, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Bailey. xx You are obviously heart-broken, and I must say a tear or two came to my eyes when I read your story. It's very common to feel guilty after losing our furry family members, but try not to, you did the best you could for him.
> Yes, he was alone, but as far as he was concerned, he just went to sleep like normal, but this time he didn't wake up. He wasn't frightened, he wasn't suffering after a long illness, he wasn't at the horrible vets, he was at home, relaxing, doing what he did every night. He wouldn't have any concept or understanding that it was his last night. He went to sleep knowing he was loved. It sounds like it was just very sudden and there was nothing that could have been done. xxx
> RIP Bailey. xx


Thanks so much for the reply, just very hard to accept he's gone People who don't have pets don't understand the pain so it's good to hear from people who understand. Thanks for your lovely words.


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## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

I'm so sorry you've lost your precious friend. Having lost a dog in 2015, I know how you feel. I agree with @Jackie C, he may have gone to sleep as usual and not even woken up in a home where he felt secure and loved, things much better than perhaps being at the vets. Sometimes the battle is too hard to win as I know well. The problem for us is that we feel so responsible for these little souls and its hard to cope with when we lose them and we feel all sorts of emotions. You certainly didn't let him down, you were doing everything possible for his comfort. Its always difficult the first few days and weeks when everything is raw and I can only say that it gets better with time. I've put a thread on today with a guide to bereavement for cat owners but its very much the same for dogs if you would like to read it. Sweet dreams Bailey xx


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## Polly G (Apr 30, 2013)

So sorry that you have lost Bailey - it is clear how much you love him and he will stay in your heart forever. Take care xx


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## Chewy75 (Aug 28, 2017)

Charity said:


> I'm so sorry you've lost your precious friend. Having lost a dog in 2015, I know how you feel. I agree with @Jackie C, he may have gone to sleep as usual and not even woken up in a home where he felt secure and loved, things much better than perhaps being at the vets. Sometimes the battle is too hard to win as I know well. The problem for us is that we feel so responsible for these little souls and its hard to cope with when we lose them and we feel all sorts of emotions. You certainly didn't let him down, you were doing everything possible for his comfort. Its always difficult the first few days and weeks when everything is raw and I can only say that it gets better with time. I've put a thread on today with a guide to bereavement for cat owners but its very much the same for dogs if you would like to read it. Sweet dreams Bailey xx


Thanks for that I will have a read now as everything helps.


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## Chewy75 (Aug 28, 2017)

Polly G said:


> So sorry that you have lost Bailey - it is clear how much you love him and he will stay in your heart forever. Take care xx


Thanks it's hard but I will get there.


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## Caroline Bell (Mar 14, 2017)

hi aaah im so sorry for your loss of bailey and a very sad story to read.please dont blame yourself as you had taken him the vets and you couldnt do anymore.it must of been a shock for this to happen to your dog.i can sympathise how you all must be feeling.im under the heading heartbroken and devastated.when we lost our beautiful jake it was such a shock.it has been very hard living without him but weve had to learn to live without him.we all still miss jake but time helps you to carry on.my sister lost her eight year old cavalier a year ago.she was on holiday and two days before she got home she got a phone call from her dog minder.the dog minder had taken her cavalier and other dogs for a walk and it was a hot day.when they got back charlie rested in his basket.when she checked on him he had passed away.my sister was devastated.it was such a shock.she took in her sons two cavaliers and we havent got another dog.she didnt want to find out how he had passed.thinking of you and your family at this difficult time but you will have so many happy memories. take one day at a time and support off others is good .take care xxx


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## Chewy75 (Aug 28, 2017)

Caroline Bell said:


> hi aaah im so sorry for your loss of bailey and a very sad story to read.please dont blame yourself as you had taken him the vets and you couldnt do anymore.it must of been a shock for this to happen to your dog.i can sympathise how you all must be feeling.im under the heading heartbroken and devastated.when we lost our beautiful jake it was such a shock.it has been very hard living without him but weve had to learn to live without him.we all still miss jake but time helps you to carry on.my sister lost her eight year old cavalier a year ago.she was on holiday and two days before she got home she got a phone call from her dog minder.the dog minder had taken her cavalier and other dogs for a walk and it was a hot day.when they got back charlie rested in his basket.when she checked on him he had passed away.my sister was devastated.it was such a shock.she took in her sons two cavaliers and we havent got another dog.she didnt want to find out how he had passed.thinking of you and your family at this difficult time but you will have so many happy memories. take one day at a time and support off others is good .take care xxx


Thank you for that, I think we're all still in shock at this time. I'm sure we will get there with time .


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## ForestWomble (May 2, 2013)

So sorry to hear of your loss. 

Feeling guilty is a normal part of grieving, time will help you heal.


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## Chewy75 (Aug 28, 2017)

Animallover26 said:


> So sorry to hear of your loss.
> 
> Feeling guilty is a normal part of grieving, time will help you heal.


Thank you.


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## NicoleH38 (Sep 16, 2017)

Hi, im so sorry for your loss i know how hard it is to lose a fur baby and the guilt you feel is honestly just so terrible i have sleepless nights and just little times during the day when it creeps up on me. i lost lily a month ago she was diagnosed with anemia not sure of the exact cause of how she died though which is even more heartbreaking. You have to try and remember all the happy times you had and all the good things you done for your fur baby and you done everything that you could of done and that how hard it is shes at peace now


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## Chewy75 (Aug 28, 2017)

Aww so sorry for your loss. It's so hard and I'm still getting upset now. But at least they had a good home and people that loved them dearly xx


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## Floss123 (Sep 16, 2017)

I know the pain I lost one of my boys July. So sudden I still miss him so much. I still have his brother. I cannot get over how quickly he left me. He did not take his goodnight treat very strange. I said you are going to the vet tomorrow (he had been off his food fior a couple of days., Monday I looked at him. He did not look well. I never thought going through the vets door that I would not come to take him home. They phoned me and said they had done blood test etc and he had kidney failure. I begged her to do something. I just wanted him home. She said she could pump him with drugs and fluids but he would be back in 3 days. I had to go,and hold his paw and say goodbye. My heart is broke. He left me exactly 2months before his 14th birthday. His brother is still with and is 14 tomorrow. I have found I am so paranoid about him. I have taken to the vet 3 times just for reassurance he won't leave me as quick.
My only hope is there is a rainbow bridge and my baby boy is waiting for me. I love him so much, I miss him so much.
He was the baby out of the two, such a character he had so many funny ways about him. His brother is my big boy very serious, very very loyal to me still as gorgeous as when they were puppies. They were from the same litter but personalitys were so different. I wish there were signs, the vet said some dogs are very good at covering up pain and illness.


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## Rott lover (Jan 2, 2015)

Chewy75 said:


> hi all, I lost my cavalier king Charles bailey on Thursday. He was 11 yrs and 6 months. He had been on medication for a year for his heart murmur and had been doing great. We went to his last check up and she said we won't need to see him for another 6 months. Since that appointment he just seemed to go down hill. We went on holiday for a week, he was left with family so he was with people who he loved. When we got back we noticed he was swelling around his stomach. He was still eating , drinking and going the toilet fine, but we booked him in for the vets so they could look at him. They took his bloods , and upped his tablets but did nothing for the bloating. 2 days later he was a little bit bigger still going the toilet fine but off his food. That night he died in his sleep. I feel so guilty that I was asleep when he died and he was on his own. Also that the vets should of done more for him and we should of done more. I'm really struggling atm and can't get past these feelings of guilt and that I have let him down. I miss him so much. Any advice from people who have been through this. Thanks


I dont normally come in this area as it hurts too much.I was going to check out poems and your post caught my eye and something told me to look.
I know exactly how you feel as i went through pretty much the same thing but Oliver had been sick for a short while.It is very hard to deal with the guilt and everyone handles it different.I can tell you things will slowly get better.You have to fight through the guilt and know you did the right thing.I felt so bad that i kept promising that i would make it better and things were looking up and everyone thought he would be ok but then he died in his sleep in the middle of the night.I felt robbed.I felt broken to the core ,completely shattered.It took a long time for the sadness to fade a bit.once it does you will see that you did right.You will still have spots of guilt as i do even to this day but they do fade.Just remember the good and try to laugh at it it will help.I know it is hard but at least try.I have a lot of poems in poetry at the top of the page.A lot of people have said it has helped so maybe take a look at them and read them through.I hope things get better soon and i am sincerely sorry for your loss.


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## Chewy75 (Aug 28, 2017)

Rott lover said:


> I dont normally come in this area as it hurts too much.I was going to check out poems and your post caught my eye and something told me to look.
> I know exactly how you feel as i went through pretty much the same thing but Oliver had been sick for a short while.It is very hard to deal with the guilt and everyone handles it different.I can tell you things will slowly get better.You have to fight through the guilt and know you did the right thing.I felt so bad that i kept promising that i would make it better and things were looking up and everyone thought he would be ok but then he died in his sleep in the middle of the night.I felt robbed.I felt broken to the core ,completely shattered.It took a long time for the sadness to fade a bit.once it does you will see that you did right.You will still have spots of guilt as i do even to this day but they do fade.Just remember the good and try to laugh at it it will help.I know it is hard but at least try.I have a lot of poems in poetry at the top of the page.A lot of people have said it has helped so maybe take a look at them and read them through.I hope things get better soon and i am sincerely sorry for your loss.


Thanks for that , and I'm sorry for your loss. It is getting easier but still have really down days.x


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## Rott lover (Jan 2, 2015)

Chewy75 said:


> Thanks for that , and I'm sorry for your loss. It is getting easier but still have really down days.x


that will happen for some time to come but dont let it discourage you.I still have my moments and it has been several years.accept the down days for what they are and enjoy the rest.


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## Floss123 (Sep 16, 2017)

Chewy75 said:


> Aww so sorry for your loss. It's so hard and I'm still getting upset now. But at least they had a good home and people that loved them dearly xx


Thank you so much for your reply. I feel so,lost without my boy. I am so use to walking two dogs. His brother has changed so much he is lonely without him. We still go to the same places but it is not the same. I never thought I would love these boys the way I do,
I cannot get over looking into my boys eyes and feeling so helpless. I wanted so much for him to come home. People keep saying you will get another. I think of all the good times and the naughty times but I have to say goodbye to my big boy some day. I am dreading that I can never get another dog it hurts to much to say goodbye. I pray there is a Rainbow Bridge so I can have my boys back when my times comes.


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