# My cat has moved in with my neighbor. What do I do?



## RoseV (Jan 31, 2013)

Hello, everyone.

I have a beautiful male tabby named Misha. He just turned two years old & he is a definite 'lap cat'.

He is extremely sociable, he loves people and other cats, he will roll over for a tummy rub for a complete stranger. He is lovely, but perhaps his overt friendliness is a problem now.

For a week now he has been staying with a woman a few doors down from me. She has a cat & I think she has been openly feeding them both. I haven't seen Misha in a while now, he is an indoor-outdoor cat, and he is usually *very* vocal about when he wants to be let in my house.

He is quite punctual for a cat & he meows at my window to be let in the house every few hours like clockwork.. but now, nothing. Not a peep. He seems to be happy over there now.

My neighbor brought him round to my house yesterday and he stayed in a few hours, but he didn't touch his food which is extremely unlike him because he *loves* the food I buy him.

I don't really know what to do. I can't ask for him back and just keep him in, Ii don't think it's fair to change an outdoor cat to an indoor cat, he just wouldn't be happy.

This wouldn't bother me as much if I wasn't ill. I'm terminally ill and Misha is basically my only company right now. Normally he sleeps on my chest and refuses to sleep anywhere else, he always sleeps in bed with me and I find it comforting just having something living around the house, does that make sense? It's nice to have a purring sweetheart by my side when I am feeling lonely, pained, like giving up.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to make him unhappy, but I miss him a lot. What would you do in my situation? 

Any advice or thoughts are very, very much appreciated.


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## Iheartcats (Aug 25, 2011)

Oh boy!!! I have the exact same problem with a pain the arse neighbour! I can totally relate.

First thing is to go round there and basically explain to her what you have told us that you are terminally ill and he's your only bit of company for you. I'm sure that is enough for her to stop feeding your cat.

Its very confusing for cats to be fed in two places. Our problem has been going on for months and months but what our vet has suggested is keeping the cat in for at least 10 days to 2 weeks to break the cycle of going to the other house for food. Hopefully that would work for you!

You have a right to have your cat back. He's your property. If she cannot comply then she is committing theft!


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## RoseV (Jan 31, 2013)

Thanks, Iheartcats. Sorry you're going through the same thing!

When I manage to see him next I will do the 2 weeks thing you mentioned. I'm having a really bad day today & can't actually walk down to her house right now, but hopefully if I shake some treats tonight he might come home, otherwise I will see if my aunt can go talk to her. 

Worth a try, I suppose.


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## Emmeow (Mar 1, 2012)

You definitely need to talk to the neighbour so they stop letting him in and feeding him. I'm sure they will understand 

Sorry that you're having a tough time, and good luck sorting things out with the neighbour xx


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Rose, so sorry to hear of your problem. It is such a selfish and thoughtless trick for anyone to start feeding a cat they know belongs to a neighbour. What can possibly be the justification for it, if the cat appears well fed and in good condition I would be very angry indeed if I found out any of my neighbours were feeding my cats, and I would be banging on their door 
morning, noon or night, any time I thought they might have my cat with them. 

But I do understand as you are not well, you do not have the strength or inclination to get into arguments with this person. The thing is if she is allowed to get away with it, as she is at present, her behaviour won't stop, and your cat will cease coming home to you. 

Personally, I think it might be better if your aunt were to go and talk to the neighbour, as hopefully your aunt would feel able to put your case with forthrightness. Your aunt will need to be very firm with this person, make it clear she will take no nonsense from her, and under no circumstances should this neighbour ever allow your cat in her house, or feed him again. 

Incidentally do you have a catflap, so your cat can come and go when he pleases in the daytime? He may be happier with that arrangement (once the neighbour stops taking him in I mean).


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## Kah (Jul 20, 2012)

The fact that your neighbour came 'round is a good sign. I agree, when you feel able - talk to her and explain the situation. Most people I think only feed other cats if they think they are a stray or starving and will happily stop - it just takes a polite chat. (As I write this, I am aware of people on the forum with difficult neighbours so I know this isn't always the case!) My cat does go to neighbours houses (I know where and don't mind) but they don't feed him so he always comes back.
I really hope this situation is resolved and you have your cat with you again soon. You clearly won't be making him unhappy as you already have a great relationship. Personally, I wouldn't mention things like 'theft'. I would keep it very friendly. In the first instance at least.
Kxxx


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## RoseV (Jan 31, 2013)

Thanks, Emmeow! 

Chilliminx, thank you. He has a really beautiful, glossy coat thanks to being so well looked after. I kind of worry in case she is feeding him rubbish food, purely for his sake! Unfortunately I don't have a catflap, and I'm in a rented house so I wouldn't be able to get one installed. I will get my aunt to go round and talk to her though! 

Kah, thanks. When I spoke to the neighbor she seemed very friendly, and I think Misha had just wandered into her house with her cat because he is so super friendly & sweet. I don't think she would want to particularly steal him from me or anything, but she made no effort to shut the door on him or put him outside at all at any point.

I called to talk to my Mum about this & she said that maybe he just wanted the company of another cat (totally understandable given his nature!) and that I should just 'let him go', but I don't think she realizes how lonely I am & how happy he makes me...


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

Apparently your neighbour has simply persisted in allowing your cat in and feeding him after returning him to you. This makes me wonder if she just wanred rid of him for that moment, maybe she was going away for a weekend. 
She knows full well he is yours, so she is in fact stealing your cat. 
I would not wait for him to come home of his own accord, but send someone over to demandhim back. And this person should make it clear to the neighbour that allowing him in and feeding him equals theft, and that if she persists, the police will be informed, as you, personally, are on no condition to take any action. So you will be forced to send someone to represent you.


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## RoseV (Jan 31, 2013)

Jiskefet, she had told me that he was in her house & that he had made himself at home... she said she didn't want to disturb him, he said he was such a friendly giant, a big softie. I had to ask her if she would bring him over, she didn't prompt it & she was about to leave without doing so! 

I will ask my aunt tomorrow to do that for me. I'm sure that if she explains how I am ill and missing the company she will give me him back. He is very spoiled, I'm not sure why he favors her house apart from the other cat being there.


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## Laurac (Oct 1, 2011)

I don't think he is favouring her house. She probably likes him being there so doesn't let him back out. Until she stops feeding him and starts shooing him out as soon as he appears then this won't get resolved and the cycle won't get broken. Someone needs to get tough on your behalf. I hope it all gets sorted soon.


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## popoki (Dec 28, 2010)

Perhaps your aunt could ask the neighbour to come round so you can talk to her yourself? Or put something in writing if you find it easier, explaining your situation?

Our neighbours would let our old cat in to their house and they didn't have a cat flap so once he was in, he was usually round there for the night. I know they were feeding him too as they've since admitted it. Makes me so mad as they knew he was well looked after by us, but it didn't stop them (despite us regularly asking them not to let him in)

I don't know why people do this when they know the cat has a loving home. I hope your neighbour will feel very differently when she knows your situation.

Good luck and keep us posted.


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

Perhaps another cat may encourage him to stick around?


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## merlin12 (Jun 24, 2011)

Why people do this is beyond me. Please get someone to go for him and lock him in before she registers him in her name and you cant claim him. Let us know how it goes. Really sorry about your health.


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## ClaireandDaisy (Jul 4, 2010)

My neighbour had this problem She went round and told the woman to stop feeding her cat.


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

I wonder if he really favours her house. I think she is deliberately enticing him and maybe even keeping him in, and she has every intention of stealing him from you. So I think you should send someone who will be stern with her and convince her that what she is doing is theft, and she may be prosecuted if she persists. 

Maybe she would like to adopt him if you can no longer care for him, and you will formally sign him over to her when YOU see fit to do so, on the express condition she shalll leave well alone as long as he is your cat, instead of getting herself into trouble by stealing him.


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## Midnight13 (Jun 20, 2012)

Does she know you're terminally ill? That's disgusting behaviour on her part if she does. She must have at least noticed you're ill, if not the severity. Really that's quite abhorrent.

I would be very tempted to keep him in, I know you don't want to though and if it upsets him it'll upset you.... I would be tempted though, I know how it is to go through ill periods and the long hours are so much shorter with your cat there. 

Why on earth she would do this to you is beyond me. Thoughtless person. I really think your aunt/yourself/a letter needs to make it very clear that he is your company and you're very unwell.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

Cats are strange creatures and know a thing or two. When my husband died our 12 year old cat who we had had all her life packed her furry suitcases and moved next door but one. I was not impressed, but she would keep going back there and I think it was because she had an older man there.

I think it very possible that your cat knows how ill you are and is making herself a new home for the future. I don't mean that to sound harsh, but it is the sort of thing a cat would do. You should make sure someone talks to this woman and tells her what is what and that you need the cat while you can.

It is very upsetting when someone decides to feed your cat and lure her away, I know from experience.


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## Kah (Jul 20, 2012)

Sorry - and I may get shot down in flames for this - but I think it's unfair to assume this neighbour is trying to steal the cat. I also think that once the situation is explained this can be easily sorted. People sometimes just don't think.

Also, remember, I eventually let Gatsby in as he was a little kitten out all hours in the rain. ( I know that is not the case here) If someone had knocked on my door, explained how much they loved the cat etc I would have been very apologetic and stopped immediately. Of course, I would have done the same if they had come round in a more confrontational way but I still feel a pleasant chat is the best solution.

I realise that people on this forum have have had some bad experiences with neighbours but this is not always the case. 
Kx


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

The lady only gave the cat back because Rose explicitly told ther to do so, so, until that instance, she kept him at her home while she KNEW he had a perfectly good home. And she intended to keep him in HER house while going out, herself. That is bl**dy deliberate, if you ask me.



> I had to ask her if she would bring him over, she didn't prompt it & she was about to leave without doing so!


He still doesn't come home, so she is taking him in and feeding him _again_, after she was told to give him back to the rightful owner.

So she IS trying to entice him to stay with her, and judging by the length of time he is staying away, she is deliberately keeping him indoors, again, like she tried to do when Rose demanded him back.

Some peole see no harm in allowing/enticing someone else's cat to make himself at home with them, and the only way to make them understand they are doing wrong is by pointing out to them that enticing him to stay with them is, in fact, theft, as, legally, a cat is property.

People who consider they 'are doing the cat a favour' by luring him away from his own home, when they know he has a perfectly good home, are either fooling themselves (or lying through their teeth in an attempt to fool you with their 'good intentions') or incredibly stupid.


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## Iheartcats (Aug 25, 2011)

Jiskefet said:


> The lady only gave the cat back because Rose explicitly told ther to do so, so, until that instance, she kept him at her home while she KNEW he had a perfectly good home. And she intended to keep him in HER house while going out, herself. That is bl**dy deliberate, if you ask me.
> 
> He still doesn't come home, so she is taking him in and feeding him _again_, after she was told to give him back to the rightful owner.
> 
> ...


THIS ^^^^^^ is exactly what the woman down are road is doing!!  When my husband went down to tell her yet again not to let our cat in her home and to shoo her out if she does her little girl piped up and said she was under their dining table asleep on a chair! The woman wasn't going to tell hubby that!! My hubby just marched on in scooped Fluffy up in his arms and marched back home to OUR house with her.

I so feel the OP frustrations. Its maddening but bizarrely common! My best friend had it too with the people across her street.


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## petergettins (Sep 23, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear this is is happening and obviously sorry to hear abou your terminal illness. Yes definitely ask someone such as your aunt to go and tell the neighbour how distressing this is for you and to stop letting your cat in and if it were to continue then there would be possible legal action, ie attempted theft. Even without that anyone with any sense of decency wouldn't dream of taking away your company in the time you need them most, that for me if the neighbour knows about it is outrageous.
As a couple of posts have alluded to already your cat may well be making a new home for himself, it's quite common even when they are very well looked after, but I hope you do manage to break the cycle and he stops going round there.
Pete


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

The problem is that some people want a cat, or more cats than they can afford, and try to have the benefit of their company without the hassle of vet visits and bills by 'rehoming' the neighbours' cats. The moment they are sick or soiling the place you can - no, you MUST - have them back, even if they haven't come home for ages.

It is quite OK to have someone else's cat in your house, as long as the owner knows and agrees, and the cat is sent back to his own home whenever the owner wants.

My parents used to run a 'day care facility' for the neighbour's 2 cats. She worked full time, and lived in an apartment block. So the cats would either be indoors or outdoors from the moment she left till her return.

So she and my parents arranged for the cats to be let outside when she went to work, and my dad took them up home with him when he went down to get the paper. My dad would let them in and out of his apartment till it was time for the owner to come home from work, and they would walk down one flight of stairs and be let into their own house.

It was ideal. My parents loved cats, and would have loved to have their own, but could no longer cope with taking them to the vet, and I lived too far away to do so, especially in an emergency. So they stumbled on the cat-sharing option when the neighbour was looking for someone to look after her cats when she went away for a weekend, and she was ever so happy to know they were being looked after during the daytime and during her holidays.


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## Kah (Jul 20, 2012)

My reply was to the post where the original poster had stated that the neighbour was friendly and took the cat back 'round, not the later one where she stated she had to ask for the cat back. I still feel polite talking is better than accusations - which was clearly the case in the previous post with people 'cat sitting' during the day. If talking doesn't work obviously things become different - I'm just trying to say that this is not necessarily malicious.
Kx


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

Well, you don't take other people's cats in without their consent, and you don't KEEP taking them in after the owner has demanded her cat back.
There has been friendly talk, and Rose has told her she wants her cat back, and it is still happening. Apparently the neighbour doesn't take her seriously. 

That is where friendly conversation ends, as far as I am concerned.


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## nicolaa123 (Mar 30, 2012)

I had a very similar thing with a healthy cat..started to claim my house. She lived across a busy road near me and would come in the house. She was eating the hedgehog food from the garden..she was healthy in herself a very good hunter.

I called her owners who came over several times to collect her, but she always came back..jumped through any open window..in the end we both decided rather than her risk the busy road she could "lodge" with me but she was his cat and he could come to my house anytime and we always tried to get her to stay at his. Problem was they had another cat and even tho they were related she did not want to stay there..

I did not look after her long as I got a cat and she went, I often see her now roaming the street, but I also know she has "surrogate homes" it's hard as even when I tried to stop her and at the beginning did not feed her, she kept coming. I only fed her with her owners permission..

Maybe try and work with this lady..but what he never did was keep her in long enough to break the cycle in my opinion..


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

You are quite right there, you do need to keep a cat in for at least 2 weeks, and maybe as long as 6 to 8 weeks, to break the cycle.
If I were you, Rose, I'd get him home straight away and not let him out for a month at least. The weather is horrid, anyway, this time of year, so once he is safe in your house, he will not be too unhappy he cannot go out. It would be far more of a problem if you sussendly had to keep him indoors in summer.

And who knows, he might not even long to go out at all, once he is used to being indoor. A lot of previously outdoor cats settle quite happily as indoor cats, once they get used to it.


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## GemCheri (Aug 18, 2009)

Im so sorry this is happening to you. Iv just been going through a 2 year battle to get my cat back , I would go round looking for Romeo and my neighbour would answer the door and happily announce he was sleeping on her bed then ' do you want me to go get him for you?' . 
She constantly said she couldn't possibly chase him away and even had the cheek to hand me some tesco's value cat pouches and tell me ' he loves this food it's his favourite! ' 
Long story short she handed him into CPL saying he was a stray and he had a sore eye - we got him back (he's microchipped) , kept him in for two weeks and he now stays in most of the day only wanting out in the morning and evening for about an hour ........... although he has been peeing everywhere except the 5 litter trays provided. It's worth it to have my baby back. I hope your neighbour is better than mine and listens to your aunt , good luck  xx


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## RoseV (Jan 31, 2013)

*Hello, everyone! I have an update!*

First of all; thank you SO much to everyone who has responded to this. I couldn't have mustered up the energy to do this if it wasn't for you all. 

I went out this morning and actually found him outside of her house, I'm not sure if he had just been let out or something, but I picked him up, took him inside my house, and gave him his favorite treats and a cuddle.

He is very happily sleeping beside me now, drooling on my leg.

I am going to start keeping him inside as advised, he has lots and lots of toys and affection so I hope he doesn't get bored being inside.

Again - thank you so much, everyone.


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## lymorelynn (Oct 4, 2008)

I'm so pleased by this outcome and hope your cat settles as an indoor boy with you  I can understand how upset you must have been over the mean-spiritedness of your neighbour who must know how much your cat means to you


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## merlin12 (Jun 24, 2011)

Great news, now you just have to be firm and not let him out, especially as your neighbour has no regard for other people´s property.


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## GemCheri (Aug 18, 2009)

Aww so glad he's cuddled up with you now. Romeo has been a predominantly Outdoorsy cat for 10 years and he did yowl and cry to get out sometimes all night long but I stuck to my guns until someone accidentally let him past as they were coming in the back door........ But he came back after half an hour I was over the moon and so happy now to have our eldest boy back. Trust me it's worth the heart ache of them desperately wanting free xx


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## IndysMamma (Jan 15, 2009)

I'm glad you got him back ok 

just so you know - outdoor cats can become *very* happy indoor only cats - 3 of my 4 were ex stray/feral and are very content indoors - they don't wander out an open door so have no great desire to leave... in fact it's the one that was raised indoor only that likes to come out on walks lol

a bit of extra love and playtime replaces the mental stimulation they had outside and especially if you're only doing it for a few weeks until he forgets the neighbour it definately won't do him any harm and it means that bit extra company and mental stimulation/enjoyment for *you* too - something that cannot be underestimated when so poorly.

I hope he remains very happy being your snuggle puss and learns to stay away from over friendly neighbours


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

YAY....
That is great news.
So glad he is back home safely.


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## jenny armour (Feb 28, 2010)

this woman has got to make it plain to your cat that he isnt wanted in her house. isnt there also a way you could keep him in for a while?


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## Laurac (Oct 1, 2011)

So pleased you have got him safely under wraps. While you know he cannot get out, maybe write a letter to this woman, explaining what your cat means to you and appealing to her better nature not to let the cat in her house.


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

So glad you have got him back. Enjoy your cuddles with him!! There is nothing nicer:001_wub:


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Rose, I am delighted you got your cat back! Well done! I hope he will give you loads of comfort, and help you cope with the demands and challenges your health is making upon you. 

Sending many good thoughts your way.


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

RoseV said:


> I'm terminally ill and Misha is basically my only company right now. Normally he sleeps on my chest and refuses to sleep anywhere else, he always sleeps in bed with me and I find it comforting just having something living around the house, does that make sense? It's nice to have a purring sweetheart by my side when I am feeling lonely, pained, like giving up.


I think that, now that you got him safe inside your own home, it might be a good idea for you to write a letter to your neighbour, telling her what you told us. You don't need to change a word of the above, just copy and paste...

Tell her that you are keeping him indoors for now to break the cycle of him going over to her, and ask her to return him home at once if he ever turns up at her doorstep again.

Stress the fact that you are glad to know there is someone else who loves him as much as you do, and it would be a comforting thought for you if she were willing to adopt him _*if and when your health no longer permits you to take proper care of him*_, and that you are happy and willing to officially sign him over to her _*whenever that situation may arise*_.

But right now, you desperately need the love and comfort he is giving you, and you want him home where he belongs, *with you*, untill the day YOU decide you can no longer take care of him the way he deserves, and it would be better for _*him*_ to move in with someone who can.

That way, you have secured his future if, at some point in time, you may no longer be able to care for him, you can rest assured he will not become a stray, and she will know _*not*_ to coax him in _*till you give the go ahead*_....


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## merlin12 (Jun 24, 2011)

Jiskefet said:


> I think that, now that you got him safe inside your own home, it might be a good idea for you to write a letter to your neighbour, telling her what you told us. You don't need to change a word of the above, just copy and paste...
> 
> Tell her that you are keeping him indoors for now to break the cycle of him going over to her, and ask her to return him home at once if he ever turns up at her doorstep again.
> 
> ...


But we really don´t know what kind of a person she is and what kind of a cat owner. I don´t like the way she acted so I woudn´t feel comfortable making her the heir to the cat. My letteer to her would be solely on how much the cat means to him and also begging her not to encourage him into her home.


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## Jiskefet (May 15, 2011)

Apparently she looks after them well enough, to the point of not letting them out while she isn't home. And she dotes on them, obviously....
And though I would agree with you under ordinary circumstances, if Rose is that ill, and may run the risk of being unable to look after Misha in the future, it would be nice to be sure someone else will.....

So unless one of her relatives has already promised they will take him, she might want to make sure he will be looked after.....


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## mp484 (May 12, 2015)

Reading this and the responses has been bothersome, especially police intervention which defines why maybe feeding strays is a bad idea because it may actually have a home and you don't know it and add to that people are obsessed with calling the police for something such as this. I had a problem with a former neighbor in the past letting their cat roam, no collar with ID whatsoever and not know if the poor cat has a home. I ran into this issue several years ago with what I thought was a homeless cat just wanting a meal, abandoned friendly and just wanting a human companion. I began letting the cat stay with me because I was afraid to take it to a shelter fearing she would be put down and figured it was meant that the cat found me and I was willing to take the plunge and take her in even though I had said after my last cat I would never have another pet due to the depression of losing them. She was in and out and came in at nights due to the cold weather. Over a month later, my neighbors big boyfriend came over and demanded the cat come back and had a big intimidating attitude about it. Needless to say it was a mistake for him, I pretty much laid it down to him that 1: I didn't know that the cat HAD A OWNER 2: That he and his girlfriend needed to be more responsible with the cat and get an ID tag/chip for her and 3: That if he EVER stepped foot in my yard again the police would be contacted and I would have him charged with trespassing and animal neglect. I then grabbed the bag of cat food I had and slung it at him and gave him a few choice words (hey, you want to be a jerk to me when I didn't know it had a home, I am more than happy to be one back). Needless to say the cat was kept inside after that. They moved later to be married and the girlfriend later apologized for how he acted before they left and thanked me. To this day, I still have issues when a cat wonders up being friendly and telling it no. A new neighbors cat comes to visit now when I sit outside but she is OK with it, though I see it out in the cold or in storms on occasion when she is out of town and it saddens me. But reading these responses on here makes me just want to ignore all animals because you never know when it will be dealing with people such as the posters above. It's hard to say no to a friendly cat/dog.


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## Pear (Dec 8, 2014)

I also read this post and all the responses and agree it is worrisome.
I am very glad that Moth Cat lives indoors.


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## Soozi (Jun 28, 2013)

I am not directly replying to RoseV's dilemma as she seems to have got the message through to her neighbour, I hope it is now nipped in the bud and there is no animosity between them. I don't think it's very fair to accuse anyone who allows a cat into their garden or even in their home of stealing without knowing for a *fact* that they are deliberately trying to entice the cat in order to keep it, often people just do not know where the cat has come from or whether or not it is lost or strayed or even abandoned and don't want to be unkind or uncaring. I have a friend in the UK who also seems to have taken on someone else's cat who just hangs out with his cats and goes in and out of their house day or night, my friend does not feed him although occassionaly the cat will nibble at the food which is never much as his two cats are greedy boys and never leave much after breakfast or dinner. I suggested he put a paper collar on the cat which he first said he would do then said No! "The cat is the owner's responsibilty if they are that bothered about where he is they should put a collar on him themselves" fair comment as he feels sure the owners live several doors away! He also will not lock the cat flap as his cats are happy with their lifestyle as it is, being free spirit garden cats (not roamers) one is 15yrs the other 13yrs. If it were my cat disappearing off every day to a neighbour I would go and get it everyday. simple as. Cats are cats and this sort of situation is very hard to control and shouldn't but often does get out of hand XXX


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## blade100 (Aug 24, 2009)

This threads 2 yrs old.


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## Soozi (Jun 28, 2013)

blade100 said:


> This threads 2 yrs old.


I bet someone has picked it out of the "Similar Threads" section! Doh! Thanks Blade!XXX


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## Erenya (Jul 22, 2014)

return of the zombie thread


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