# Bringing in a kitten



## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

Hello - Long time reader, first time poster. :thumbup:

I have a male cat , basic house cat, no special breed as far as I'm aware, but he does play fetch like a dog ?. , about 5 years old. I am currently looking at getting a new kitten to bring in hopefully as a play mate for him (Bengal half cross). Jess (current cat) is a house cat due to previous area was all about dogs out on the streets. 

Due to me on the verge of being disabled due to arthritis and other issues relating to joints I am unable to be constantly "hands on, rubbing his belly" all the time , so I see a new playmate as a good option.

But my worry is that he seems to be a dominant character. He doesn't always take to people coming in the flat. Also when playing he can just snap and take to biting and scratching. I am unsure if these are aggressive natured or just playing rough. 

I have read on how to introduce a new cat into the house etc and am fully ready for that. I am a little worried that Jess may get a little to playfull with the new kitten. Is this just me being a worried parent (yes my cat is my kid, I am a lonely 25yr old bloke, get your laughs in) or is this an issue to stop me getting a play mate in for Jess ?. 

Jess has had his bits " sorted " (they almost drag on the floor bless him).

I just would really appreciate the opinions on fellow cat lovers an the situation. While I love the idea of a new cat and a friend for Jess, I don't want to get a new member is he/she will suffer for it.


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

Also. I've read the guides about introductions but would like opinion here.

With the whole keep new addition in a room at a time to let both learn the sents, would I need to throughly clean each room first of current cats smell and hair ?. My Jess gets everywhere and he sheds like heck.


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## Philski (May 28, 2010)

Answer to your first post: there's no 'yes' or 'no' answer, unfortunately. It depends on how the two individuals interact with each other; however, from your description of Jess, I would proceed with caution. That's not really of much help, though! Perhaps, if you decide to go ahead, it might be wise to have a Plan B and have someone who would be prepared to take in the kitten if it doesn't go well?

And to your second post, no, I don't think there's any need to clean any rooms in preparation. Keeping things as normal will help Jess to remain as settled as possible, allow the kitten to acclimatise to his new home's scents, and his new scents will gradually mingle in to allow Jess to slowly get used to a new presence.

I'm a firm believer that the best way to make these introductions is to take it slooowly, but that's only because it is what has worked for me. There are plenty of others here who have made successful introductions quite quickly.


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

Thanks for the reply and info.

While I do think that Jess can be an aggressive character at times, it is just that - at times. I feel that despite his mixed nature , he could really benefit from having a playmate and someone to be King over  .
I can go days of having all the love a owner would ever want. He will tell me when he wants it and I think the "snapping" is him saying "if you wana play, you have to do it this way". 

He grabs my hand in his teeth (never pierced the skin) and attempts to both kick away and bring my arm to him. Top paws grab and bottom set kick. 
At first (and a little still) I feel he is trying to hump me. Never gets that far but still....I feel like a victim for it :lol:

Wildlife videos of lions, tigers etc show it to. Just rough housing of sorts. Yeah at times he has given me a good scratch but a simple saying of NO and me walking away solves it. Maybe as I am a single guy I do baby him and he has grown to be pampered and have his way.

Am I wrong in thinking this ?. 

On the note of introduction. I am more than prepared for it to take a long time. While I want both to get on, I will not let or make each suffer for my wants and needs. 
In the extreme need. If I do get the Bengal cross and Jess shouts out NO ! I am sure I can find plenty that would like to take the little boy of me.

Did have the chance for a boy or girl but they all went a bit fast and only a little boy left.


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

Looks like I am getting the Male Bengal cross now. 

But would still like more opinions and advice about bringing in a new cat. Once thing that was a mixed opinion across a few introduction guides. 
While I am supposed to put the new kitten in isolation rotating between each room, do I allow any contact with Jess my big cat ?. 
Even if its supervised and short or do I just make them learn each others smell first between the doors ?.


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

For what its worth, thanks for the post Phil. While many have looked but not helped I got my new kitten in the hope of my own thoughts working.

So far so good, both are OK with each other. Just a little more time and I think I will be OK to leave both out in the flat to roam. 

Due to no help and not really needing this thread anymore. Mods please feel free to archive/delete.


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## celicababe1986 (Jun 22, 2009)

hey good luck with the new kitty and with Jess, would love to see some pictures of them!

whilst you may get many readers, they may not have the advice to offer therefore have nothing to add, thus not wanting to give you bad advice! but please stick around we are a friendly bunch and would love to know how you get along.

also I know its a bit late, but the only advice I could offer anyway would be to get a feliway diffuser if things get tense between them, it will calm them down and they are very effective. (google them if not sure) but otherwise sounds like your doing a fab job!:thumbup:

look forward to hearing more about your cats


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## merothe (Jun 4, 2010)

Yes pics needed 

On the playing with your hand getting a little rough - I think that is normal. If he isnt breaking the skin then it means he is def holdng back and being careful not to hurt you. You shouldnt encourage it but it doesnt sound like a problem. And spoiling generally is certainly not a problem - all the guys i know with cats are the biggest softies by far 

Also perhaps a little late now but while you make a safe space for the newbie maybe think about a place for jess that he can escape from the kitten. While the new one is small i imagine Jess could just climb high to escape. It means if he gets grumpy he can just walk away.

Good luck i hope they are best friends soon :thumbup:


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

Thanks for the posts. While my last post can be read as I was angry due to no posts, it was more meant in the sense of " no information thus no real point of keeping". Used to other forums removing posts if they have no information or use, sorry. 

Yes got the 2 cats now. Jess and Link. Both are getting along fairly good. Link has my bedroom at night, if I am out or when they start to scrap. Make sure both have attention, not choosing a favorite. 
-
Link coming from a big family of cats (litter of 6 kittens plus mum and her sister) he was already friendly towards cats of all sizes. 
Jess however was unfortunately taken from him mother to early (before I got him) and is just not used to other cats. Best way to put it is that Jess is more human than cat, he cant talk cat nor understand what Link is. Maybe my fault for not socializing Jess when he was young but my flat at the time was in a bad area and had no option to let him roam. 

So most of the time when contact occurs its Link chasing Jess the cat thats double/ near three time his size around. Now and then Jess would bat Link with his paw (no claws) or grab his scruff in his mouth, get Link grounded and bat. I let the odd bat go but will stop the more aggressive actions. 

Still more progress to be made but my main fears about Jess' aggressive nature where unfounded. 
Can get pictures sorted but not both together for now.


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## merothe (Jun 4, 2010)

Aww sounds like things are going well. They will need to figure each other out and set some boundaries. Mine still have a little hiss/sulk from time to time if one gets too much (and they are litter mates). Tbh kittens can be a pain from time to time whether you are a cat or a human!

I wouldnt worry about jess not being socialised - sounds like he is doing fine  am sure Link can teach him a little bit about being a cat :lol:


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## Philski (May 28, 2010)

Sounds like all is going well, glad to hear it! If they are both playfighting together, then that's a great sign that they are going to get along. Don't worry too much if it all seems a bit boisterous, playfights can sometimes appear to be quite rough... as mentioned in another thread, if it's a proper fight, you'll definitely know about it!!


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## Allana (Jul 7, 2010)

Sounds like everything is going in the right direction, still waiting on those pics! 

Maybe a little furry friend is exactly what Jess needed :thumbup:


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

Thanks again for the support. Nice bunch that you are, wish I joined sooner now.

Anyway Pictures are below. Cant get one of them together as they're still adjusting to each other and I'm not forcing them. 

Jess' big black and white boy and Link my little Bengal Cross.

One thing though, Now Link is starting to try to get milk from Jess' man boobs.


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

bump for info on the man boob milking.


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

cant really help as to why your kitten is wanting to suckle on Jess but if he doesnt stop Link you should try to discourage him.He could make Jess sore if he suckles a lot.My ragdoll kitten(now 6mths)suckles on bare skin on humans it isnt uncommon but can become a problem if it is making sore spots on the skin.


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

Been stopping it when I see it but I can imagine its happening in other rooms.
I can only hope that they will both grow out of it.

While Link goes for the suckling, Jess seems to just let it happen. On occasion Jess will put a stop to it but more often he will lay and take it. I just hope this is Jess' way of letting Link get close and nothing too wrong.


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## Philski (May 28, 2010)

Don't worry about it, it sounds like a behavioural hangover from kittenhood and I'm sure it will stop. Anyway, if it does become a problem, I'm sure Jess will find a way to put an end to it.

I think it's a sign that Link is bonding well with Jess, treating him as a mother substitute - and Jess letting it happen shows that he is also bonding well. Happy days!


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## Spook (Aug 10, 2010)

tera said:


> Thanks again for the support. Nice bunch that you are, wish I joined sooner now.
> 
> Anyway Pictures are below. Cant get one of them together as they're still adjusting to each other and I'm not forcing them.
> 
> ...


I love the pictures!

I think he'll grow out of the suckling phase, one of mine did the same when she was young.


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

Yet another question. At what point does play fighting / brotherly love turn into proper aggressive fighting ?. 

I now have Link jumping at Jess' face, Jess grabbing Link by the throat then biting his belly. Then Link resorts to his only defense of using his lower legs to kick Jess' head. Link meaws to give a sign of to much but only a short one. 

Hard to tell the intention of both due to varying speed and "execution" of the behavior. Sometimes I want to let it carry on, seeing it as play fighting. But at times I have had to stop it as I just seems to aggressive with harm in mind. 

What does a dad do when this happens ?. I am torn on what action to take as this could just be play fighting.


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## catzz (Apr 8, 2010)

It sounds like play fighting to me. I could be wrong here but I think I read something somewhere that in cat fights proper its the back half of the cat that gets attacked rather than the face area. My two are mother and daughter. The kitten is 5 months. They play fight all the time and its all about face and neck biting and swiping and a bit of back leg kicking. I believe that the fur protects them quite a lot anyway. Watch them though - quite often what starts off with what I think is them biting each other to pieces actually ends up with them wrestling around licking each other! I'm told I would know if it was a real cat fight.. - hissing, growling and fur flying etc etc


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## Philski (May 28, 2010)

Let them. It might seem rough at times but a real cat fight is *VERY NOISY* with blood and fur and poo and stuff.

Any nature programme on big cats will have footage of cubs bonding like this - and sometimes trying it on with dad, and getting a roar or a swipe in return. They are learning the boundaries of what is fun and what is aggressive...


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## ebonymagic (Jun 18, 2010)

I can offer absolutely no advice at all, but I would just like to say that all my cats and my dog get on well and I never did the separate room thing at all. Mind you my boys were about 18 months when I got my baby girls at 8 weeks old. 

My boys always had high places where they could hide from the girls, then I moved, my boys and girls spent a week apart and when they came together in my new house they bonded really quickly, to the point where Greebo allows Magic (one girl) to suck his foot:eek6: and will wash her like he's her mum. My other boy Crookshanks will play with both girls and I usually have a large pile of furry objects on my bed at night.

Even my dog will tolerate the girls sitting next to him, although he does draw the line when claws are produced.

I think the biggest reason all my furries get on so well is because we were in neutral territory and also nobody was stressed anymore.

My girlie kitten play fight all the time, with claws and back feet scrabbling, they do break apart when one or the other squeaks, or I will slide one across the floor out of the way (I have a tiled floor) so they have a mini break.


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

Thanks for the posts again all.

It's just me being an over protective dad then. Hopefully they will get past this and chasing each other everywhere and we can all be a happy family and I can sleep once again.


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## catzz (Apr 8, 2010)

yeah, the chasing around, don't you just love that at three in the morning? They sound like they're wearing hobnailed boots!


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## tera (Jul 31, 2010)

Yeah I love it so. I still have Link sleeping in my room at night and he has to cuddle up to me. So I have a night of tossing and turning only to have to constantly watch out for Link. Then at 6am ish Jess knocks at the door wanting food and a good run around with Link. 

I can only imagine that this is near what its like for couples that have real kids. Need a girlfriend to help with the cats I think (human love would be nice to) but daddy needs his beauty sleep.


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