# Would you return an adopted dog?



## rantntave (Jun 4, 2013)

My ex-wife and kids recently adopted a 6 month old cross puppy. The previous lady keeper lives in a flat and claims the dog had already grown larger than she expected and that she chould no longer keep him. Within a week however she has been back in contact wanting the dog returned. 

He is a lovely young dog with a good temprament The kids have already grown an attachment and a sizeable investment in time and money has already been made. I feel he probably is too large to be kept in a small space.

What would you do?


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

rantntave said:


> My ex-wife and kids recently adopted a 6 month old cross puppy. The previous lady keeper lives in a flat and claims the dog had already grown larger than she expected and that she chould no longer keep him. Within a week however she has been back in contact wanting the dog returned.
> 
> He is a lovely young dog with a good temprament The kids have already grown an attachment and a sizeable investment in time and money has already been made. I feel he probably is too large to be kept in a small space.
> 
> What would you do?


I would tell it is too late to change her mind again and that it is grossly unfair on the dog. If she loved him, she would not have given him up so easily before; she could have worked something out. I have two giant dogs in a small house and although they are quieter than your average pooch, I can't see a problem. I wonder where she got the dog from in the first place.

Certainly do not give him back, she will changing her mind again in a couple of weeks.


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## Grace_Lily (Nov 28, 2010)

Don't think you can make a blanket decision - it would have to depend on circumstances etc. 

If someone was giving up a dog simply because it had grown to a size they didn't expect I'd probably be less inclined to return it.


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## rantntave (Jun 4, 2013)

Grace_Lily said:


> Don't think you can make a blanket decision - it would have to depend on circumstances etc.
> 
> If someone was giving up a dog simply because it had grown to a size they didn't expect I'd probably be less inclined to return it.


Sorry, I think the size thing was more the lady worrying for the dogs welfare rather than her disappointment at not having a lap dog. Also, I believe her circumstances may be difficult.


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## Quinzell (Mar 14, 2011)

From the information that you have given, no, I don't think you should return it especially as size was a factor. The lady clearly didn't do her research before getting the dog. 

If she has had it since it was a puppy then she has had around 3 - 4 months to make up her mind about it. If size was the only factor, then I struggle to believe that she could have got that attached to it.

I'm sure she is probably missing the dog and therefore will be wanting it back for the wrong reasons.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

rantntave said:


> Sorry, I think the size thing was more the lady worrying for the dogs welfare rather than her disappointment at not having a lap dog. Also, I believe her circumstances may be difficult.


Were they not difficult when she took the dog on? Are they less difficult now she wants him back? Sorry, I have little sympathy with people like this. Ok, she made a mistake and found the dog a good home, but to then want him back is just selfish in my opinion.

Poor thing won't know whether he's coming or going.


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## Supasilvfoxy (Apr 6, 2013)

I'd be tempted to keep it and probably would. 

However I would explain to the lady in question, that you feel the puppy has already been upset enough having had two homes in six months and you think it's unfair to subject it to any more stress by changing it's home yet again. Also you think the puppy is going to be quite big when it is full grown and will need a lot more space than a flat and it has also grown quite lively, excitable and noisy now. Anything that will convince her that you are worried about her as well as the dog. 

Good luck!


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## rantntave (Jun 4, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> I would tell it is too late to change her mind again and that it is grossly unfair on the dog. If she loved him, she would not have given him up so easily before; she could have worked something out. I have two giant dogs in a small house and although they are quieter than your average pooch, I can't see a problem. I wonder where she got the dog from in the first place.
> 
> Certainly do not give him back, she will changing her mind again in a couple of weeks.


These were my initial thoughts.


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## Grace_Lily (Nov 28, 2010)

rantntave said:


> Sorry, I think the size thing was more the lady worrying for the dogs welfare rather than her disappointment at not having a lap dog. Also, I believe her circumstances may be difficult.


Ok - thanks for clarifying 

What's your gut feeling? Personally I don't think size of accommodation is too much of an issue as long as you're willing to put in the time & effort with exercise outside the home. It is a difficult situation, but if she feels she couldn't do best for the dogs welfare at the time how has that changed in a week?


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## rantntave (Jun 4, 2013)

LouiseH said:


> From the information that you have given, no, I don't think you should return it especially as size was a factor. The lady clearly didn't do her research before getting the dog.
> 
> If she has had it since it was a puppy then she has had around 3 - 4 months to make up her mind about it. If size was the only factor, then I struggle to believe that she could have got that attached to it.
> 
> I'm sure she is probably missing the dog and therefore will be wanting it back for the wrong reasons.


I agree in part. I think the lady may have given the puppy up for the right reasons, but is now asking for it back for the wrong reasons, i.e she is missing it and that's not a good enough reason to uproot the dog again


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## rantntave (Jun 4, 2013)

Grace_Lily said:


> Ok - thanks for clarifying
> 
> What's your gut feeling? Personally I don't think size of accommodation is too much of an issue as long as you're willing to put in the time & effort with exercise outside the home. It is a difficult situation, but if she feels she couldn't do best for the dogs welfare at the time how has that changed in a week?


I don't think they should return him. I am no expert but he is already quite a powerful young dog who looks like he will require a lot of time outside. He will get that and a loving environment at his new home


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## Wiz201 (Jun 13, 2012)

rantntave said:


> Sorry, I think the size thing was more the lady worrying for the dogs welfare rather than her disappointment at not having a lap dog. Also, I believe her circumstances may be difficult.


If they're difficult circumstances, I'd be less inclined to give the dog back.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

I'd keep him, for a number of reasons:

1) Giving him back tells your kids that animals are disposable, and you can treat them the same way that you would any object - ie lend it out, give it away, swap it for another - on a whim.

2) What if she changes her mind again? You may or may not agree to take him back, but either way, it's really mucking the poor dog about!

3) Is she really missing him? If she truly cared, she wouldn't be wanting to put him through all of this distress.

4) Perhaps she is thinking she should have sold him. There may be an advert going up in the newsagent's window if you hand him back.

5) You all love him! Why should your family, especially where there are children involved, be upset because of one selfish, thoughtless woman?

6) She has no right to use you as a free dog-sitting service - which is what she will be doing if you give him back.

I would say that I was sorry if she was upset, but the dog is settled, and the children adore him and you aren't prepared to upset dog or kids because she's changed her mind. She should learn that she can't just do things like this. She probably got him on a whim, and then parted with him on a whim. What if she has him PTS on a whim?

Keep him. He's yours.


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## kirksandallchins (Nov 3, 2007)

Did you get your dog through a rescue? If so, she will have signed him over to them and has no further rights to him. The same applies if he was given away or sold. If you did not get a receipt for him, keep a copy of the adverts or texts between the both of you.

If you want to keep the dog, tell her ASAP.


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## rantntave (Jun 4, 2013)

Just a couple more points to clarify

The previous keeper has an 11yo boy who is pining after the dog (Sunny). Apparently the boys school contacted the lady asking is she could get the dog back as it was starting to effect his homework! WTF! My kids had only had Sunny for a few days before they were asked to return him.

The adoption was via a private introduction through a mutual friend. I don't think an official transfer has taken place (yet)


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

rantntave said:


> Just a couple more points to clarify
> 
> The previous keeper has an 11yo boy who is pining after the dog (Sunny). Apparently the boys school contacted the lady asking is she could get the dog back as it was starting to effect his homework! WTF! My kids had only had Sunny for a few days before they were asked to return him.
> 
> The adoption was via a private introduction through a mutual friend. I don't think an official transfer has taken place (yet)


I find it extremely unlikely that a school would get involved like that, I really do. I also think that if the child was that attached to the dog, they would have thought of this before. I never heard such rubbish in all my life.

Do you live close? You could offer to let the child visit, which will clarify whether a) there is a child at all and b) whether he really is pining.

Do you know the school? Phone them up and ask them.

I personally do not believe a word of it.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

LouiseH said:


> From the information that you have given, no, I don't think you should return it especially as size was a factor. The lady clearly didn't do her research before getting the dog.
> 
> If she has had it since it was a puppy then she has had around 3 - 4 months to make up her mind about it. If size was the only factor, then I struggle to believe that she could have got that attached to it.
> 
> I'm sure she is probably missing the dog and therefore will be wanting it back for the wrong reasons.


True...it will end up on Gumtree if it's really unlucky.


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## Supasilvfoxy (Apr 6, 2013)

@Newfiesmum: Ditto that!

You'd only had the dog a week, far too short a time to be seriously affecting a child's schoolwork - accept for the the initial parting of course, that would have upset him. Anyway, she didn't take her childs feelings into account when she gave the dog to you in the first place. I think she's doing a bit of emotional blackmail myself.

I would stick to my guns if I were you, unless you signed something like a contract, then it would get legal I'm afraid.


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## rantntave (Jun 4, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> I find it extremely unlikely that a school would get involved like that, I really do. I also think that if the child was that attached to the dog, they would have thought of this before. I never heard such rubbish in all my life.
> 
> Do you live close? You could offer to let the child visit, which will clarify whether a) there is a child at all and b) whether he really is pining.
> 
> ...


I agree, in that I find it hard to believe the school would be in contact after so short a period of time and that it would actually get involved in the first place.

Also, they must have thought about the emotional impact before deciding to offer Sunny for adoption in the first place.

The lady definitely has a child, they both visited to make sure Sunny would have a good home prior to the adoption. We have already offered visits.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

I know someone who gave away a cat she had found to the vet's wife, knowing it would get a good home there and that it would never be happy living with her dogs. Then she wanted it back, said the kids missed it (they'd only had it five minutes) but turned out she discovered it was a Persian and could be worth a few bob.

As Fox Mulder always says - Trust No One


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## rantntave (Jun 4, 2013)

newfiesmum said:


> I know someone who gave away a cat she had found to the vet's wife, knowing it would get a good home there and that it would never be happy living with her dogs. Then she wanted it back, said the kids missed it (they'd only had it five minutes) but turned out she discovered it was a Persian and could be worth a few bob.
> 
> As Fox Mulder always says - Trust No One


Sunny is a lovely dog but he is neither Lassie nor Greyfriars Bobbie


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

rantntave said:


> Sunny is a lovely dog but he is neither Lassie nor Greyfriars Bobbie


I would keep him - whatever her reasons are for wanting him back, she gave him away and it's her lookout.

If she puts pressure on, present her with a list of expenses you have incurred - food, toys etc, and also find out what the average kenneling fee is around your way,and charge her that. The kennel our dogs go to charged £15/night for a large dog, plus an extra @ £2.00/day per walk and more if they had an off-lead play time. In addition, dry food was included in the price, but any treats etc came out as extra (unless you include these under your previous 'bill' for expenses). They also charge more if the dog has a 'room' rather than a kennel (a damn sight more - nearly double) and extra for things like the TV on. favourite radio programmes etc (btw my dogs got bog standard nice clean kennel, two fifteen minute walks/day and just the kennel food - I haven't got that sort of coin!). That might be pushing it, but she has to realise that she can't just chop and change when people's feelings are involved, let alone those of the dog, which won't know if it's coming or going!

Stick to your guns. I don't know how awkward she's likely to get, and it's unfortunate to fall out with someone I assume was a friend, but this is YOUR FAMILY'S DOG. Your children have made an emotional investment. (What about their homework?) I assume it wasn't "you can have the dog but if my son misses it too much, I'll have to have it back", or "if it doesn't settle, please bring it back and don't just pass it on"

From what you have told us it was a "can't cope with him, he's much bigger than I thought he would get, thank you for taking him" - and frankly - he isn't going to get any smaller, is he? I know you didn't pay anything for him, but you will have paid out - he is legally yours - remind her of that fact.


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## rantntave (Jun 4, 2013)

News just in .........

There is a happy ending. The lady and her son visited and after seeing the dog happy in his new how have decided to do the right thing and let him stay. So all's well that ends well.

Funny thing though, she handed over the vets registration and vac records etc last night which i guess kind of makes it official now. Not sure why this didn't happen last week. It's possible she may have been hedging her bets which I think is pretty poor form.


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

rantntave said:


> News just in .........
> 
> There is a happy ending. The lady and her son visited and after seeing the dog happy in his new how have decided to do the right thing and let him stay. So all's well that ends well.
> 
> Funny thing though, she handed over the vets registration and vac records etc last night which i guess kind of makes it official now. Not sure why this didn't happen last week. It's possible she may have been hedging her bets which I think is pretty poor form.


I agree, but at least it seems she does have the dog's best interests at heart after all. I am sure your children will have a great friendship with this lucky dog and do come back and let us know how things are going.

A photo would be nice as well. We just love a happy ending!


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

rantntave said:


> News just in .........
> 
> There is a happy ending. The lady and her son visited and after seeing the dog happy in his new how have decided to do the right thing and let him stay. So all's well that ends well.
> 
> Funny thing though, she handed over the vets registration and vac records etc last night which i guess kind of makes it official now. Not sure why this didn't happen last week. It's possible she may have been hedging her bets which I think is pretty poor form.


Hooray! Hostilities narrowly averted.


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## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

rantntave said:


> News just in .........
> 
> There is a happy ending. The lady and her son visited and after seeing the dog happy in his new how have decided to do the right thing and let him stay. So all's well that ends well.
> 
> Funny thing though, she handed over the vets registration and vac records etc last night which i guess kind of makes it official now. Not sure why this didn't happen last week. It's possible she may have been hedging her bets which I think is pretty poor form.


If she's anything like me, she wouldn't have been able to find them! (I've discovered the teapot in the freezer before now . . . )


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## Renata (Mar 18, 2013)

rantntave said:


> My ex-wife and kids recently adopted a 6 month old cross puppy. The previous lady keeper lives in a flat and claims the dog had already grown larger than she expected and that she chould no longer keep him. Within a week however she has been back in contact wanting the dog returned.
> 
> He is a lovely young dog with a good temprament The kids have already grown an attachment and a sizeable investment in time and money has already been made. I feel he probably is too large to be kept in a small space.
> 
> What would you do?


Dog is not a furniture to be moved around. Keep it. Your kids would be heartbroken if you gave the dog back.
***Just read, there is a happy ending.***


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