# Grief after rehoming my Bunny - please help xx



## AnimaLover89 (Jun 26, 2012)

Hi everyone, i haven't used this account for several years and my username is a little out of date as sadly I lost both my Cockers some time ago now...

Anyway, i couldn't bring myself to adopt another Dog, so i got a House Rabbit instead...he is like a small Dog, he free roams the House and has such a funny amazing character, he is so confident and not your typical Bunny .. which makes the next sentence all the harder to type …

On Tuesday 30th March 2021 i have to take Ted my Bunny to a Rescue centre to be bonded and rehomed with another Bunny companion... myself and my Husband are heartbroken beyond belief.. i haven't eaten for 2 days i just feel sick with guilt and sadness ... 

A little history... so Ted has ongoing medical issues that require around the clock monitoring and nursing during flare ups (Gut Stasis) he has been to the vets several times over the last 3 years, for various issues relating to his breeding (hes a Mini Lop), but the stasis is more recent. I fought for 24 hours on no sleep to bring him through it last time, and now hes showing signs of going into stasis again because our Neighbours Dog barked by the fence when he was enjoying some time in the garden. He has been checked over twice by different vets who cant find anything obviously wrong physically. I suffer severe anxiety and my Husband works away all week, which means the care falls on me solely... I have been struggling to cope now with the anxiety his illnesses and care brings, plus the guilt of why he is always unwell despite me thinking i have done everything right.... the best diet, free roaming, etc. This decision has taken me 6 months to make, but his recent bout of stasis was the cherry on the cake. 

Please don't think I am passing on my 'problems' or medical costs because that is not the case. After speaking to the Rescue, she feels he is lonely and depressed hence the ongoing tummy troubles and needs a friend. Unfortunatly I cannot financially commit to another Bunny nor do i have the space... the medical issues cause me such anxiety and i feel my life is ruled by them, i constantly check his poop, check if hes acting any different...a slight change in behaviour makes me have an anxiety attack and its making me unwell. 

I have come to the decision that rehoming Ted to the Rescue, to be bonded and have his health investigated more thoroughly is the best thing i can do for him mainly, but also for me ... 

I am just looking for some support really folks, because i carry so much guilt and have to keep Ted over the weekend until a place is available for him which is so so hard - i cant even bring myself to look at him or his things without crying. I'm 31 years old and cried like a baby on my mums shoulder last night... my Husband isn't helping matters, as he is totally against the idea as ' he loves ted'...obviously i do too! but we cant keep doing this, it is having a massive effect on my mental health, and it surely isnt fair on Ted to live alone all day when i am at work and to be constantly ill??? My Husband has really fallen out with me and resents me so much for this...

Please help me xx :Sorry


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## Guest (Mar 25, 2021)

Honestly, you must not feel guilty. I have been there with this - a sick pet who you are desperately trying to save but nothing is working. You have done so well and there's only so much someone can take. Remember you need to look after your own health before you take care of anyone else. I know your husband may not like it, but he has to come up with solutions not get stroppy. It's not a solution to dump it all on you. The stress can be intolerable and the anxiety can stop you thinking clearly. You did the right thing to post here to get some support. From what you have said, I think you've been magnificent. You must absolutely not give yourself a hard time when you have done the absolute best you can.


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## Tiggers (May 27, 2014)

You have absolutely done the right thing so have no need to reproach yourself in any way. Ted will be rehomed along with the new friend when the time is right and hopefully lead a long and happy life. Have you thought of phoning your GP to explore the possibility of help/ counselling for yourself? Anxiety is a cruel affliction, but can be managed with help.


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## AnimaLover89 (Jun 26, 2012)

Douglas' Dad said:


> Honestly, you must not feel guilty. I have been there with this - a sick pet who you are desperately trying to save but nothing is working. You have done so well and there's only so much someone can take. Remember you need to look after your own health before you take care of anyone else. I know your husband may not like it, but he has to come up with solutions not get stroppy. It's not a solution to dump it all on you. The stress can be intolerable and the anxiety can stop you thinking clearly. You did the right thing to post here to get some support. From what you have said, I think you've been magnificent. You must absolutely not give yourself a hard time when you have done the absolute best you can.


Thank you so much for your kind words, Unfortunatly I am carrying so much sadness and guilt and i havent even rehomed him yet. My Husband is home tonight and i am dreading it, i know this weekend is going to be filled with grief and tears - i am dreading it.... I think if Teddy (Rabbit) was just your average Bunny it would be a little easier, but he has so many quirks and is so confident - he makes our House a Home and the House will feel so strange without him.


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## AnimaLover89 (Jun 26, 2012)

Tiggers said:


> You have absolutely done the right thing so have no need to reproach yourself in any way. Ted will be rehomed along with the new friend when the time is right and hopefully lead a long and happy life. Have you thought of phoning your GP to explore the possibility of help/ counselling for yourself? Anxiety is a cruel affliction, but can be managed with help.


I was on anxiety pills for a short while but saw no improvement and had some awful side effects, I haven't tried counselling as yet... the anxiety stems from family medical issues (cancer etc) as i was always fine before.... i feel so sad and guilty about Ted and it hasnt even happened yet, thank you for your kind words though.. i feel sick to my stomach with all this.. i feel like i have a knot constantly in my tummy... i just feel like im abandoning him when he needs me the most, but i just dont see another option.


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## Tiggers (May 27, 2014)

Bless you, you need support. I'm passing through cancer treatment with my hubby at the moment, but all is well with him so far. I'm always on and off here if you need any help or support.


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## AnimaLover89 (Jun 26, 2012)

Tiggers said:


> Bless you, you need support. I'm passing through cancer treatment with my hubby at the moment, but all is well with him so far. I'm always on and off here if you need any help or support.


So the Rescue has been in touch and they have space for Ted tomorrow, so its looking like my boy is leaving me sooner than originally thought. Im honestly numb, I'm struggling with this so much. Im just so torn about what to do. My Husband has been kind to be fair but we haven't discussed anything face to face, there is such an elephant in the room.... thank you for your kindness. Xx


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## Guest (Mar 26, 2021)

Oh I know what it is to have a pet make the house feel like a home. It’s a really hard situation because you want Ted to get better too and you need to recover yourself. Can you come to an arrangement with the rescue that they place him in foster care? Just temporarily so that if things change on the home front you can have Ted back. I would tell the rescue that you are giving him up reluctantly and if circumstances change you’d love to keep him. Just so they know to keep options open if possible. You have done the best you can. I really feel for you.


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## AnimaLover89 (Jun 26, 2012)

Douglas' Dad said:


> Oh I know what it is to have a pet make the house feel like a home. It's a really hard situation because you want Ted to get better too and you need to recover yourself. Can you come to an arrangement with the rescue that they place him in foster care? Just temporarily so that if things change on the home front you can have Ted back. I would tell the rescue that you are giving him up reluctantly and if circumstances change you'd love to keep him. Just so they know to keep options open if possible. You have done the best you can. I really feel for you.


I may suggest that to her, I'm going to see how it goes tomorrow. Its heartbreaking, its like I'm grieving for a pet that hasn't passed away... there's so much responsibility with rehoming a pet too isnt there, like have I made the right choice , have I picked the best home for him? ... my head is a mess and my heart is shattered... the rescue is called Love Paws based near Nottingham UK.


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## Corneal (Oct 30, 2018)

i recomend keeping a blanie he likes/d, one of his teddies, or some fur, when i loose a pet i have some of their fur set in resin from a lady on ebay

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Handmade...e=STRK:MEBIDX:IT&_trksid=p2057872.m2749.l2648


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## Tiggers (May 27, 2014)

The rabbit isn't deceased Corneal, he's being rehomed which is totally different.


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## Guest (Mar 26, 2021)

There is a lot to consider when re-homing I agree. Be totally up front with the rescue - I am 100% sure they have come across similar situations in the past and may have found some form of compromise. You will need to be prepared for them to say that once Ted is re-homed, there's no going back, but if you don't ask, you don't get. Pets are very strange. It's like they are closer to you than your own family at times.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Sounds to me like you've made the brave loving correct decision for Ted. This is what's going to best for him. I'm so sorry this is happening but you can hold your head high knowing you put him first. xxx


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