# Single parents 'must look for work' when children start school



## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

One announcement from chancellor George Osborne that seems to have been quietly reported (almost whispered) is the change to benefits for lone parents. Mr Osborne said the government expects lone parents to look for work when their youngest child goes to school.

Currently lone parents who are claiming income support benefit do not have to start looking for employment until their youngest child reaches the age of ten.

The former Labour government had caused controversy when it announced plans to reduce this age limit to seven, but under the changes announced yesterday, lone parents who are not actively looking for work once their youngest child is in school will see their payments stopped.

Most children start school at around five years of age and in some cases can be as young as four when they enter primary education.


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## ClaireLily (Jul 8, 2008)

I too expect lone parents to look for work when their youngest child starts school. It's called supporting your children and is something I thought every parent felt quite strongly about.

My mum's a single parent and worked part time as far back as I can remember, she went full time when my youngest sibling went to school, I thought this was normal?!


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## Leah84 (Jun 22, 2009)

that`s all great in writing but how realistic is it for many people??? there`s not a lot of jobs willing to hire people just during school hours and what about school holidays?? i can`t see many employers allowing people to take every holiday off. 

i realise in most cases people will have family to help out with childcare so it can be done BUT in my case (assuming i was a single parent) i live away from all my family and friends and only have 1 person down here who could look after my daughter and even then she has a life of her own so could only do it on the odd occasion. i know a lot of people in a similar situation too, it`s just not viable to suggest bringing in a stranger to look after the child as it`s too costly and not only that but there`s also so many cases of abuse these days


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## MissShelley (May 9, 2010)

gorgeous said:


> One announcement from chancellor George Osborne that seems to have been quietly reported (almost whispered) is the change to benefits for lone parents. Mr Osborne said the government expects lone parents to look for work when their youngest child goes to school.
> 
> Currently lone parents who are claiming income support benefit do not have to start looking for employment until their youngest child reaches the age of ten.
> 
> ...


From next September children in our area will be starting school at 3! I know this because I work in a Pre-School and we were sent memos from Shropshire CC, going to have a huge impact on our little setting  Not to mention lumping children in to a situation they arent ready for 

As for making single parents parents look for work? Whats wrong with that? nothing stopping them working part time, and there's lots of childcare options out there, which they will get help with if they claim tax credits.

Time the government clamped down on the scroungers, I see lots of single parents who claim in my job, they can afford fancy clothes, nice hairdos, they can afford to go out at the weekend ( some I know can even afford drugs on their benefits! ) They can't afford to pay their childcare fees though! Hmmm funny that. Nope it's about time they stopped the scroungers, single parents & couples


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## billyboysmammy (Sep 12, 2009)

nothing wrong but i would like to know how i'm supposed to study too. I'll go out and get a job and probably end up having to have my children semi-supported by the state forever more, or i can continue studying and make a real career to support my family.

oh well, i cant change it, so i'll have to live with it! [email protected]


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## snoopydo (Jan 19, 2010)

lots of young girls have babie's these days ''Just to get a Council and more benefits'' I know that comment will upset people but I know in some cases it's True....They'll have a Bloody shock when they have to look for a Shock/Horror a JOB and actually WORK and pay Rent/council Tax like the rest of us.:scaredoor souls ..............


But actually being realistic of the way things are at the min....Have the Government actually said WHERE These Jobs that will have to be got can be Found????????


There MORE Children starting school than available Jobs out there :confused1:


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## cutekiaro1 (Dec 15, 2009)

I think parents should be made to look for work, it not fair on the rest of us that have to pay our own way. I couldnt have a child now even if I wanted to without leaving my job and going on benefits which is not something I would ever do.

Why should the rest of us work when (SOME) not all people have kids for the sake of getting extra money. (I have no problem with people who have worked and then had children etc) but I do have a problem wih the people who do it deliberatly so they can sit about all day and get paid for it.

The problem is there are very few jobs around for parents who do want to go back to work and support their families which is something that needs to be sorted out if this is going to work, they need to set up some kind of 'getting back into work' scheme with jobs at the end of it for these people but hay is that going to happen............probably not so around we go again


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## snoopydo (Jan 19, 2010)

The Government on 1 hand go on about The Umemployment Crisis THEN Say this.. I do agree with this latest propsal BUT WHERE are all of the EXTRA JOBS Coming from ??????? 

They Seem to come up with these idea's but don't think of the much bigger picture.


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## CarolineH (Aug 4, 2009)

How many employers will be prepared to give 12 weeks holiday a year plus inset days etc as well as sudden time off because the child is ill? :


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## kazschow (Oct 23, 2008)

Mr Osborne is saying they should LOOK for work, what's the betting this is yet another way to poggle statistics, those looking will no doubt be eligable for some other new benefit.. call me scynical, buy how many times has this happened before


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

MissShelley said:


> From next September children in our area will be starting school at 3! I know this because I work in a Pre-School and we were sent memos from Shropshire CC, going to have a huge impact on our little setting  Not to mention lumping children in to a situation they arent ready for
> 
> As for making single parents parents look for work? Whats wrong with that? nothing stopping them working part time, and there's lots of childcare options out there, which they will get help with if they claim tax credits.
> 
> Time the government clamped down on the scroungers, I see lots of single parents who claim in my job, they can afford fancy clothes, nice hairdos, they can afford to go out at the weekend ( some I know can even afford drugs on their benefits! ) They can't afford to pay their childcare fees though! Hmmm funny that. Nope it's about time they stopped the scroungers, single parents & couples


OMG thats totally shocking !!!!! My lad went at 4 and a couple of months and he was nowhere near ready !!!! I know they have been whispering about this "extended schooling" business since i was Chair at out local pre school. I think its an awful idea, stealing their childhood  Makes me so angry  My daughter is 4 at Christmas so will go next September and she will just about be ready, i would hate her to have missed out on this last year at home with me, she goes to Pre school a bit but we also spend alot of time in the park and chatting about stuff and generally learning as we go, today we went to Wood Green Animal Shelter (i took the child i mind aswell because they love it) 
I cant believe they want to institutionalise our babies  They should be going LATER like other countries NOT earlier  OMG i could rant all day about this    This will cost MORE money when Mums who chose to stay at home are quite capable of having their kids AT HOME !!!!!

I feel for single parents too as school hours do not make getting a decent job very easy and the price of decent childcare is expensive and hard to find just in the school holidays. You are looking at minimum of £50 a DAY during holidays if you have 2 kids and thats just to send them to a sports club so not that same as a childminder which would cost around £70 a day !!!!


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

CarolineH said:


> How many employers will be prepared to give 12 weeks holiday a year plus inset days etc as well as sudden time off because the child is ill? :


Exactly, its not as easy as it sounds for a single parent to just go and get a job that would support their family financially AND make all the allowances needed for a parent bringing up young children 

People are LOSING jobs at the moment  It's not like there are loads of jobs earning £25k a year doing just school hours


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## ebonymagic (Jun 18, 2010)

How do I as a single parent, with 2 kids, living in North Norfolk, find myself a job that is between the hours of 9:30 and 14:30. I have very few qualifications, the jobs that are about are in supermarkets but they don't do school hours.

Everybody is either closing down or relocating round here, I also have mental health problems which makes it very difficult to be in situations under stress. 

I do have family, but they have problems of their own, I suppose I could rely on my 13 year old son to babysit his brother, but then I'd have Social services on my doorstep.

I could ask my ex mother in law if she would look after my boys but she is under no obligation to look after my youngest as he is no relation to her.

If the government came up with some sort of training program to help me re integrate in to the real world and cope with my mental health that would be brilliant, but I can't see it happening.


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## Starlite (Sep 9, 2009)

its good in theory,but as said before what about school holidays etc? Jobs arent _that _flexible

Also, very few mums will even get backto work as they would have to take a job which covered their rent, CT etc and very few minimum wage jobs will


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

Its gonna be hard enough to find a job in the first place for a single parent!
If i was a single parent i have no one to help with childcare and would have to rely on afterschool clubs etc and would need every holiday off due to lack of childcare ALSO employters take into consideration the length of time u have been out of work!
For example my OH has had a few probs with his van and without a van he has no business so he contacted an agency for temp work for a couple of weeks and they said they only take people on their books if they have been employed in the last 6months! Self employment does not count. So to them he is basically unepmloyable
I have had 2 years off work having my 2 boys so just imagine how hard it would be for me to find work now?


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

Excuse the spelling mistakes im full of cold and my eyes are streaming :lol:


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## caninemad (Oct 4, 2010)

RAINYBOW said:


> OMG thats totally shocking !!!!! My lad went at 4 and a couple of months and he was nowhere near ready !!!! I know they have been whispering about this "extended schooling" business since i was Chair at out local pre school. I think its an awful idea, stealing their childhood  Makes me so angry  My daughter is 4 at Christmas so will go next September and she will just about be ready, i would hate her to have missed out on this last year at home with me, she goes to Pre school a bit but we also spend alot of time in the park and chatting about stuff and generally learning as we go, today we went to Wood Green Animal Shelter (i took the child i mind aswell because they love it)
> I cant believe they want to institutionalise our babies  They should be going LATER like other countries NOT earlier  OMG i could rant all day about this    This will cost MORE money when Mums who chose to stay at home are quite capable of having their kids AT HOME !!!!!
> 
> I feel for single parents too as school hours do not make getting a decent job very easy and the price of decent childcare is expensive and hard to find just in the school holidays. You are looking at minimum of £50 a DAY during holidays if you have 2 kids and thats just to send them to a sports club so not that same as a childminder which would cost around £70 a day !!!!


My children went to preschool, (on site of the school they now attend) 1/2 days 5 days a week from the age of three. If anything, i think this has helped them. They already have friendships and know the teachers. When they then moved on to reception class, they were eased into school life they were not expected to sit at a table all day to learn, they are taught through play.

As for the new single parent must work laws, i can see both sides, i was raised in a single parent household, where i watched my mum struggle to find work and had to leave me a lot with family members.

It is diffiult a job which will allow parents the holiday time.
Although i am not a single parent, i do work partime only because i can not get a job that will let me be flexible enough. I had to take a day off last week as one of my kids was poorly, i was deducted a days pay as I do not recieve sick pay. This one days wages was sorely needed.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

I can see that it could be difficult working and looking after children, i do think and this is by no means every mother that if there was no money coming in to stay at home then working, a job would be looked at very differently, i stayed at home with my children even when they went to school, i had no intention of working until they were old/able enough to come home from school without me been at home. The difference was we didnt get paid for being a stay at home mum in them days.


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## Mese (Jun 5, 2008)

My Daughter has two kids and has always held down a job to support them :thumbup:

The one she has now is not the best job going (she works in a truck stop cafe) , she's on minimum wage , but its good honest work and she likes the people she works with and the customers are always friendly 
The government help her with child-care , and the school have a Breakfast club where kids can go if their parents need to get to work , again for a small fee
She makes sure the kids have nice clothes , and at least once a week she treats them to a day out , sometimes , if money is really tight , its nothing more than a walk to their local beach & a picnic (10 minutes away) , it doesnt matter the kids love it ... she doesnt have the latest clothes, only gets her hair done when she comes home and see's her best friend who is a hairdresser & has to save for luxuries (she just recently managed to save enough for a second hand laptop , which she is over the moon about , lol) 

It makes me furious that some people are sitting on their backsides expecting the government to hand them everything on a plate , I'll bet if you looked in their homes you'd see x-boxes , wide screen tv's the latest ipods and other electronics , all bought from dole money 

In a longwinded way im saying im pleased that the scroungers will now have to get off their a***** and do for their kids what my Daughters been doing for hers all their lives


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## Mum2Alfie (Jan 4, 2010)

Leah84 said:


> that`s all great in writing but how realistic is it for many people??? there`s not a lot of jobs willing to hire people just during school hours and what about school holidays?? i can`t see many employers allowing people to take every holiday off.
> 
> i realise in most cases people will have family to help out with childcare so it can be done BUT in my case (assuming i was a single parent) i live away from all my family and friends and only have 1 person down here who could look after my daughter and even then she has a life of her own so could only do it on the odd occasion. i know a lot of people in a similar situation too, it`s just not viable to suggest bringing in a stranger to look after the child as it`s too costly and not only that but there`s also so many cases of abuse these days


Thats ok, as long as you are trying to look for work.....not your fault if they are discriminate against parents. I agree that lone parents should look for work as soon as their youngest is at school. They arent asking for them to go full time and I do believe that they will be bringing something in later to make companys support this and to give parents the time off they need during school holidays.


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## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

How about this then just as a suggestion, and as I said just a suggestion and more of a thought - and one not been thought out totally so not meant to offend or otherwise, please note!


How about instead of working if not possible but volunteering work. ie in their kids school - they could be helping with the reading, extra maths help, dinner ladies etc.


Volunteering in hospitals, Care Homes etc.....

Thoughts?


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## ClaireandDaisy (Jul 4, 2010)

I worked when my children were little - but because it had to be during school hours and in termtime, you`re a bit limited, tbh. I did cleaning and cafe work, but neither would have been enough to pay for child care so I could continue through school holidays. 
So while I think it is a good idea, it needs to go alongside affordable child care in school holidays etc/


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2010)

Well this is hardly gonna achieve what they are hoping is it?
I mean seriously!
Look at the flaws!
The only people who will be affected are the genuine ones who want to return to work anyway! They will likely be pushed into a dead end job with no prosects of bettering themselves!

And as for the spongers! WELL we all know what will happen there! The monenst little johnny is ready for school" hey presto they'll drop another!

Never realized a political party could be so bloody naive!
And to think I have been conservative all my life!
Guess this muppet just woke me up to how bloody stupid they are!!! Pity someone dont wake him!

DT


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

caninemad said:


> My children went to preschool, (on site of the school they now attend) 1/2 days 5 days a week from the age of three. If anything, i think this has helped them. They already have friendships and know the teachers. When they then moved on to reception class, they were eased into school life they were not expected to sit at a table all day to learn, they are taught through play.
> 
> As for the new single parent must work laws, i can see both sides, i was raised in a single parent household, where i watched my mum struggle to find work and had to leave me a lot with family members.
> 
> ...


Like i said my daughter attends pre school but its optional and nothing like the institution that school is  If kids went into a more pre school type environment at 4/5 and then a "Reception" based environment at 6 like they do in other countries that fair far better than we do in terms of education figures i don't think they would miss out at all. Where are the classrooms going to come from to accomodate this extra year considering they just slashed the spending on school buildings :scared:

Having said that why the hell if we are so hard up as a country is the Government paying for 15 hours of free childcare for all 3 yr olds (and 2 yr olds in some areas) while their Mums are at home *not *working or studying ??? They can get all the socialisation they need from local Toddler groups with Mum taking them. To me its just a luxury the country cant afford at the moment and they have just increased the hours


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## doggylicious (Oct 13, 2010)

With the price of childcare I can sometimes see why some peeps stay off work.Not ideal I know. However if we decide to have children we must do our best.I always did stuff from home ,things I could sell etc. There is always something you know more about than someone else.Use your skills to earn whilst looking after your kids.

Jaxx


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

doggylicious said:


> With the price of childcare I can sometimes see why some peeps stay off work.Not ideal I know. However if we decide to have children we must do our best.I always did stuff from home ,things I could sell etc. There is always something you know more about than someone else.Use your skills to earn whilst looking after your kids.
> 
> Jaxx


Thats why i do the Childminding but i understand thats not for everyone  I can work part time, be at home for my kids and no childcare costs of my own, once my youngest goes to school the pay will be pretty good considering the benefits aswell


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## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

I think we need to bare in mind that single parents are different to the parents that have a partner whom are the main bread winner.

My money for instance is pocket money - as arrogant as that might sound - my husband brings home the bacon!


If however my husband was to leave me and I ahd to fend for myself I would need to earn a lot more than currently to pay for everything. 

I like taking my children to school, collecting them and enjoying listening to their day at school (when they can remember what they did). I like being flexible enough during school holidays and when they are ill etc.

All of these things need to be taken into account.

However for those that do rely on benefits I dont see why they cant pay a little bit back by volunteering at schools, hospitals etc....


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

gorgeous said:


> I think we need to bare in mind that single parents are different to the parents that have a partner whom are the main bread winner.
> 
> My money for instance is pocket money - as arrogant as that might sound - my husband brings home the bacon!
> 
> ...


If they are not working or studying i cant see why they couldn't :thumbup:

I also fail to see why our local authorities are slowly but surely privatising stuff at great expense when we have criminals languishing in prison that could do alot of the community work :confused1:


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2010)

CarolineH said:


> How many employers will be prepared to give 12 weeks holiday a year plus inset days etc as well as sudden time off because the child is ill? :


Not many I can tell you. Employers are waiting for the Budget Cut's before they can hire anyone now.

But as someone said previously, where are these so called 'jobs' anyway? My twin brother been looking for a job since 2007, and the amount of rejection letters he has had since then.


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## CarolineH (Aug 4, 2009)

haeveymolly said:


> i stayed at home with my children even when they went to school, i had no intention of working until they were old/able enough to come home from school without me been at home. The difference was we didnt get paid for being a stay at home mum in them days.


Me too. I considered it to be my 'job'. I am glad I did as well, especially with my youngest! (Who has grown up to be human despite the odds!  ) But at one time, people did not have children unless one of them could afford to give up work. They didn't both want a car, several holidays a year, huge TV and all the latest mod cons and gadgets. People used to make do. Mind you, when I was a child it was a huge shame to be a 'latch key kid' who came home to an empty house! Times have certainly changed and now look at how society has become, with whole estates being terrorised by feral kids and youths etc! I know, I sound like I am 80 don't I? I am 48 actually!


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2010)

CarolineH said:


> Times have certainly changed and now look at how society has become, with whole estates being terrorised by feral kids and youths etc!


:lol: I love that description!


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## Happy Paws2 (Sep 13, 2008)

I never thought I'd agree with Tory, I must be going down with something.


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## kayz (Jan 18, 2009)

I am a single mum of 2 kids and I work. My eldest is 3 and a half and goes to school every morning. My best friend has them 2/3 mornings while I work and their dad has them 1 day.

I know not everyone has friends that can help out but by law employers have to give you flexible hours.

I would love to not work but I want to show my boys that having a job to support yourself and your children is a good thing to do.

Saying that though I am not sure how it will work as there are already lots of people looking for jobs.


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

We do it here when the youngest turns seven ya have to work 15 hours min thats fair enough there not babies they can go to day care.


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

CarolineH said:


> Me too. I considered it to be my 'job'. I am glad I did as well, especially with my youngest! (Who has grown up to be human despite the odds!  ) But at one time, people did not have children unless one of them could afford to give up work. They didn't both want a car, several holidays a year, huge TV and all the latest mod cons and gadgets. People used to make do. Mind you, when I was a child it was a huge shame to be a 'latch key kid' who came home to an empty house! Times have certainly changed and now look at how society has become, with whole estates being terrorised by feral kids and youths etc! I know, I sound like I am 80 don't I? I am 48 actually!


I agree with what your saying. Me and my Oh agreed that i was going to me a stay at home mom why he works years before the kids came along! I to think of it as my 'job' to be there for them whenever they need me! Imo if a lone parent or both parents want to work the kids should be under supervision at all times, i hate to see kids home alone or left to walk the streets  
I think i have a full time job as a stay at home mom its bloody hard work to look after kids 247 without a break now and then.


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## LostGirl (Jan 16, 2009)

the ones i know will just pop out another child! 

oh ex did he son went to school, within 2 months of him starting she had a few one night stands got pregnant, that child has just started so just counting down the months till shes pregnant again


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

DoubleTrouble said:


> Well this is hardly gonna achieve what they are hoping is it?
> I mean seriously!
> Look at the flaws!
> The only people who will be affected are the genuine ones who want to return to work anyway! They will likely be pushed into a dead end job with no prosects of bettering themselves!
> ...


If its done like here then you just report ya activity agreement and state that ya looked for a job, they do not cut you off the pension if you cant find one it isnt as bad as it sounds, we were all worried here till it settled, and voluntary work and education does count for 15 hours as well.


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## kayz (Jan 18, 2009)

Daynna said:


> the ones i know will just pop out another child!
> 
> oh ex did he son went to school, within 2 months of him starting she had a few one night stands got pregnant, that child has just started so just counting down the months till shes pregnant again


Someone I know has 7 kids. She seemed to have one just as the youngest was about to start school. Her eldest is 22 and the youngest is 6 months.

I will admit to wanting at least 1 more child but not 7!!!! :scared::scared:


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

kayz said:


> Someone I know has 7 kids. She seemed to have one just as the youngest was about to start school. Her eldest is 22 and the youngest is 6 months.
> 
> I will admit to wanting at least 1 more child but not 7!!!! :scared::scared:


I know someone who IS in a 2 bed council flat, when we first knew of her she had 3 girls 2 different dads (i think! One was def from a different dad as she was mixed race) then she was with another guy and she had twin girls! so that was 7 in a two bed flat! THEN she wanted a boy so she could get a house..... It ended up being another girl .... still wanted a boy! She now has 7 girls in a 2 bed flat including her and her partner :scared: 
We lived in the same size flat and we were bursting at the seames!


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2010)

Waterlily said:


> If its done like here then you just report ya activity agreement and state that ya looked for a job, they do not cut you off the pension if you cant find one it isnt as bad as it sounds, we were all worried here till it settled, and voluntary work and education does count for 15 hours as well.


Don't think our leader is as canny as yours WL

What I visualize happening here is them that are work shy dropping sprogs from the moment they reach maturity (if they wait that long) until the reach the menopause! Will likely cost the country twice as much in the long run!
lol
DT


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## billyboysmammy (Sep 12, 2009)

WL i think that was the original plan from labour, drop the age to 7 and work a minimum (or look for work or be studying or volunteering) for a minimum number of hours per week.

I have absoloute support for that idea.

What worrys me is the condems and their rushed policies which put real people at real risk.


Contrary to popular belief employers do NOT have to give you flexible hours. Thats when your employed with them for a certain period of time and they only have to consider it. If there is a good reason not to offer flexitime (e.g. your a doctors receptionist) then they dont have to.


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## Waterlily (Apr 18, 2010)

billyboysmammy said:


> WL i think that was the original plan from labour, drop the age to 7 and work a minimum (or look for work or be studying or volunteering) for a minimum number of hours per week.
> 
> I have absoloute support for that idea.
> 
> ...


yeah over here though the employee has more rights at work then the employer (which I am against) Plus we have work contracts and the boss has to abide by it or they can be sued for unfair dismissal etc, It was liberal here that bought it in not labor too I guess your country just is fumbling with it a bit, cos its the best thing all round here, theres no more mums popping out bubs for money then normal just a bunch of em lying about what jobs they looked for lmao but thats for anyone to do not just the bludgers, I think you are all worrying because of the unknown tbh, it was exactly the same here.


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## Maiisiku (Feb 20, 2009)

If I was a single mum I wouldn't be able to look for work at all.. my little girl isn't 3 yet and there is no way I could hold down a job. All my close family are too ill (and old) to look after a child and my mother couldn't care less and has severe mental health issues so is not exactly 'care' material. I go to college, my little girl goes to nursery a few days a week. But when she gets her funded hours they will cover the time I am in college. The same as when I start university, they will cover the time I'm in university. I would never sit at home on my bum and send her to nursery! I think if you are getting funded nursery you should either be in college or out volenteering. (I'm not a single mum btw but if I was I still wouldn't sit on my bum!)


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## 0nyxx (Aug 9, 2008)

I went back to work twice after my 1st then again after my 2nd child, both developed serious health problems & spent a lot of time in hospital & missing school, my contract wasnt renewed due to time I needed off!

I then worked part time in the same school as my kids & carried on doing further qualifications, could only work so many hours as I was classed as a carer I often had to take mine or both of my kids home through their problems which meant time off again.

After years of this I finally got them into a good routine & started teaching I.T again came off benefits for all of 3 months! then my mum became very ill & needed full time care, managed to juggle mum the kids & their problems for a while, then my stepdad also became very ill & was wheel chair bound within a matter of weeks.

So I had to let my job go to care for my parents who both need full time care, as well as still caring for my kids who are now much older but still have serious health problems.

Lets see how he deals with those willing to work but cant because theyre full time carers! it would cost social services a hell of a lot more than I get on income support to care for the 4 people I look after 24/7

I dont drink smoke or go out or on holidays & cant afford fancy clothes & hair do's etc, would love to know how those who can manage to do it!


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

0nyxx said:


> I went back to work twice after my 1st then again after my 2nd child, both developed serious health problems & spent a lot of time in hospital & missing school, my contract wasnt renewed due to time I needed off!
> 
> I then worked part time in the same school as my kids & carried on doing further qualifications, could only work so many hours as I was classed as a carer I often had to take mine or both of my kids home through their problems which meant time off again.
> 
> ...


This is exactly the sort of thing that i dont believe the new measures will recognise :frown: Genuine Carers like yourself do a fantastic job for this country and save it alot of money, i hope you dont get hit by these new measures xx


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## billyboysmammy (Sep 12, 2009)

Do you know what i think would make a HUGE difference to the money spent on single parents?

Child support!


Get a bloody working system in place to make the fooking absent parents pay!


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

It's a real catch 22 situation this. There are some really genuine and deserving single parents, who are doing their very best to support their children, and to whom benefits are a godsend to enable them to live. Then there are also the "professional" scroungers who have no intention of working and who use having kids as an excuse to get money without working.

I think the former deserve all the help the state can give them, whilst the latter ought to be stopped from claiming benefits somehow. However, I'd bet my bottom dollar that whatever rules are brought in, it will be the genuine cases who suffer, whilst the scroungers will just find other ways to claim and not work.


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## Acacia86 (Dec 30, 2008)

I am a single mother to a 4 year old daughter and i work. I work out of the house Monday afternoons, Tuesday most of the day, Friday afternoon and part of the morning and afternoon on Saturdays. I have Wednesday's and Thursday's off (and obviously Sundays!), but i do Thursdays evenings.

My daughter started school last month but for the first few weeks it was mornings one week, afternoons the next etc etc it was a bloody nightmare!!!

She is fulltime after this half term which will work out much better! 

Why would people have to take the whole of the summer holidays off?? I will be taking as much as i can but i also use a pre-school that has an after school club for my daughters school. So they collect her and i then pick her up from there when i finish. 

Yes its more money but its the only do-able thing, unless i gave up work......which will never happen!!!

My daughter was well ready for school, in fact she was ready for full time school but the school does mornings/afternoons and not full time until after October half term. She had been to nursery and is just generally very grown up.....too grown up  I also started school at 4 (turned 4 August 20th and started that September) and i'm alright :lol:

I had my daughter at 19 years old and immediately got lumped into the ''teen mum'' category. Which yes i was a teen but i worked until my due date, in a steady 5 year relationship, had our own place already, her Dad worked full time and supported us, and i worked not long after i had her.

I know a LOT of teen mums will scrounge etc but SOME don't.


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## NicoleW (Aug 28, 2010)

When I had my daughter, I stayed at home until she was 12 months old and then decided I should go and look for a job. I was working for a further 12 months and it broke my heart to miss out on her growing up so much that I packed it all in and decided to stay at home until she was in school full time. I then had my second daughter, and instead of waiting another 5 years I chose to become a registered childminder, not only to set a good example to my children about earning money and doing something with my life but because I love children. I love spending my time at home , out and about with kids and watching them grow up. I think ANY parent, lone or not, woman or man set a bad example to children if they have no viable reason for staying at home and not working. 

I can't see of any reason (medical exempt and such) that lone parents shouldn't LOOK for work when their child is in full time school.


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

I think its a good idea, people should work or study towards a career imo

as for childcare during school holiday, I have to cover it with well place annual leave and paid private nursery, I have no choice.... Most employers are flexible when it comes to children.


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## Acacia86 (Dec 30, 2008)

It is possible to study while working. I study during my evenings/days off when my daughter is at school etc when the time comes to go into the college for a few classes then exams they do evening classes and some afternoon ones. 

You can do most courses for most things full or part time including evenings etc

From personal experience, its seriously bloody hard (it was during some bits anyway!) but its do-able. I would have no reason/excuse to stay at home and claim off our state.


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

DD is 7..... I am looking for work for hours each day, applying everyday to various jobs....

THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Acacia86 said:


> It is possible to study while working. I study during my evenings/days off when my daughter is at school etc when the time comes to go into the college for a few classes then exams they do evening classes and some afternoon ones.
> 
> You can do most courses for most things full or part time including evenings etc
> 
> From personal experience, its seriously bloody hard (it was during some bits anyway!) but its do-able. I would have no reason/excuse to stay at home and claim off our state.


I agree, I work full time have two children 4 years old and under AND study.... its hard but it all gets done :thumbup:


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

ClaireLouise said:


> I agree, I work full time have two children 4 years old and under AND study.... its hard but it all gets done :thumbup:


which is great if you have a job, I didn't get into uni and I can't seem to get a job either... So Im not sure what Im meant to do!


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## NicoleW (Aug 28, 2010)

I did distance learning


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Tink82 said:


> which is great if you have a job, I didn't get into uni and I can't seem to get a job either... So Im not sure what Im meant to do!


I havent got every job ive applied for. Ive only had 4 jobs in my working life( 1 of which I hated but stayed at it as I didnt have anything else) and never left employment without another job to walk into so I have been lucky. I do know jobs are hard to get but they are out there.


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

NicoleW said:


> I did distance learning


Ive done some Distance Learning, I really enjoyed it :thumbup::thumbup: keeps me busy


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## nfp20 (Jun 29, 2010)

snoopydo said:


> lots of young girls have babie's these days ''Just to get a Council and more benefits'' I know that comment will upset people but I know in some cases it's True....They'll have a Bloody shock when they have to look for a Shock/Horror a JOB and actually WORK and pay Rent/council Tax like the rest of us.:scaredoor souls ..............
> 
> But actually being realistic of the way things are at the min....Have the Government actually said WHERE These Jobs that will have to be got can be Found????????
> 
> There MORE Children starting school than available Jobs out there :confused1:


what a dreadful cliche... I do sometimes wonder if it might be better for people to walk in the shoes of those youngsters and see how true those assumptions are. There may well be the odd one but they are I am sure like so many of the assumptions made about people on benefits few and far between.

Personally I think our society is losing out having so many latch key kids, children need proper parenting to become proper independant adults. There are far too many adult children living at home with their parents totally unprepared for life because their parents have spent far too much of their time making up for the guilt of their children having to spend time at childminders, school, after school clubs. Society cannot and should not be responsible for the day to day raising of our children they should be responsible for their education but NOT be acting as parent and guardian because they are failing miserably.

If all the parents currently at home taking care of children suddenly need part time work where are all these jobs going to come from?? The halving of fulltime jobs, YOUR jobs and if everyone has to have a share of the jobs out there what happens when employers realise that they don't have to pay pt workers as much, they don't have to pay so much in benefits and they don't have to provide so much with regard to contracts (for an example under redundancy terms, maternity, illness, holidays, pensions). In addition in a job market where we are in recession those jobs just aren't out there for in experience and unqualified people... they should be moved into education and then into the workplace as a relevantly qualified and up to date employee.

Even being a normal parent whose been out of the workplace more than five minutes its not easy to get a job.


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

ClaireLouise said:


> I havent got every job ive applied for. Ive only had 4 jobs in my working life( 1 of which I hated but stayed at it as I didnt have anything else) and never left employment without another job to walk into so I have been lucky. I do know jobs are hard to get but they are out there.


I'd love to know where..


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Tink82 said:


> I'd love to know where..


It depends what you prepared to do!
I know in our local paper their are always jobs for leaflet delivery, betterware ect

Home care assistant, no experience needed

Cleaners

Telesale

and these are always in week in week out


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2010)

Tink82 said:


> DD is 7..... I am looking for work for hours each day, applying everyday to various jobs....
> 
> THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!


Maybe those that THINK they know best need to look at REDUCING the retirement age rather the increasing it!


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## NicoleW (Aug 28, 2010)

My Grandad is almost 70 and is still working


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

ClaireLouise said:


> It depends what you prepared to do!
> I know in our local paper their are always jobs for leaflet delivery, betterware ect
> 
> Home care assistant, no experience needed
> ...


And do you know how many people actually apply for these? I applied to Boots for xmas work, I did my app within two days of the ad going up, the next day I had a mail saying thanks, you have the skills but we are not even considering you as we have had so many apps already...

There are two uni's round here, all the students jump on the xmas jobs. There was a job on the job centre site, I called and it had been filled within hours of being put on

Im spending hours each day looking and applying


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

DoubleTrouble said:


> Maybe those that THINK they know best need to look at REDUCING the retirement age rather the increasing it!


I take DD to school in the morning, come home, search for and apply for jobs all day, then go get her. When she goes bed, I'll spend another hour or two at it again.. even OH sits and looks.. it's madness


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## nfp20 (Jun 29, 2010)

its worth applying to places even if they don't have a job available and you could try the temping agencies who will look for work on your behalf these days anything goes its not easy.


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Tink82 said:


> And do you know how many people actually apply for these? I applied to Boots for xmas work, I did my app within two days of the ad going up, the next day I had a mail saying thanks, you have the skills but we are not even considering you as we have had so many apps already...
> 
> There are two uni's round here, all the students jump on the xmas jobs. There was a job on the job centre site, I called and it had been filled within hours of being put on
> 
> Im spending hours each day looking and applying


I appreciate its not easy but I dont believe there isnt one job out there at all! Ive twice change my job during the recession as has my OH. I know its not easy but there is work out there, keep applying, dont lose sight.


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

nfp20 said:


> its worth applying to places even if they don't have a job available and you could try the temping agencies who will look for work on your behalf these days anything goes its not easy.


it's so dis-heartening.. OH has been told he will be redundent come Feb..

The problem round here is that there are so many people being laid off but not enough jobs for them to walk into.. it's either min wage cleaning, comission only leaflet distribution of jobs that require skills/experience I just don't have!


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## fire-siamesekitty (Jun 8, 2010)

I cant see how part time work is going to pay the rent, plus the bills...food...dont think the government have thought this one through


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

fire-siamesekitty said:


> I cant see how part time work is going to pay the rent, plus the bills...food...dont think the government have thought this one through


There are also no part-time jobs 

I'll just do something illegal.. seems to work well for others!!


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## fire-siamesekitty (Jun 8, 2010)

Tink82 said:


> There are also no part-time jobs
> 
> I'll just do something illegal.. seems to work well for others!!


Nothing new :thumbup: When you have found that illegal job make sure you count me in


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2010)

fire-siamesekitty said:


> I cant see how part time work is going to pay the rent, plus the bills...food...dont think the government have thought this one through


Don't think they have thought any of it through!
The whole bl**dy agenda is full of flaws!
And I have ALWAYS been a conservative supporter!


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## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

Our Leaders do not live in the real world - they live in the world of silver spoons and plums!

I believe we need REAL people to run our Country - people who have been there, seen it, worn the t shirt so to speak.


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2010)

gorgeous said:


> Our Leaders do not live in the real world - they live in the world of silver spoons and plums!
> 
> I believe we need REAL people to run our Country - people who have been there, seen it, worn the t shirt so to speak.


sounds very much like ME & Mrs D! 
xxxx


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## gorgeous (Jan 14, 2009)

DoubleTrouble said:


> sounds very much like ME & Mrs D!
> xxxx


I said REAL not wino PF addicts lol


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## CarolineH (Aug 4, 2009)

Add into the mix all the sick people (the genuinely sick too!) who are now being told to look for work! I have ME (aka cfs), a debilitating, energy draining, multi-systemic neurolical disorder (as classified by the World Health Organisation, the Department of Health and the government) and I have heard of at least three ME sufferers being told to look for work by the DWP in the last week after their right to ESA was taken away from them!

It stinks. The filthy rich bankers got this country into a mess and now the poor, disadvantaged and sick are being punished for it. Go after the genuine shirkers by all means but not everybody should be tarred with the same brush!


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## nfp20 (Jun 29, 2010)

Tink82 said:


> it's so dis-heartening.. OH has been told he will be redundent come Feb..
> 
> The problem round here is that there are so many people being laid off but not enough jobs for them to walk into.. it's either min wage cleaning, comission only leaflet distribution of jobs that require skills/experience I just don't have!


My dad was told friday last week that his company had no work and they were all laid off as of that moment. He's mids 60's worked for the same company as a carpenter for the last 45 years and as he's subcontracted thats it no handshake or even an extra weeks money nothing. He's in shock at the moment and as the only bread winner (my mum had strokes and had to give up her pt job at the dentists) so is my mum, they are both very frightened about the future.

Local council cuts in spending have had a knock on effect with all their contracts being cancelled until the new budgets are issued in April with no guarantee there will be work then either  They won't be entitled to any benefits either except for their national insurance being paid so at the moment we are all doing our best to give him what work we have available and to sort out private work through setting up a website for him but its not easy at all and I worry about them and I know that there are lots of people like them too all struggling whilst our government is slashing everything in sight whilst supporting bankers who are upping their prices and giving out big bonuses again.

Anyone on benefits are such easy targets and deeming them all con artists is an appauling way to treat people... I'm thinking about going into politics its an easy job lined pockets and totally out of contact with the rest of us who are doing their bit where possible.

I looked at areas where there are no local employers and wondered what the government is doing to help regenerate those areas and the answer at the moment is NOTHING

He went to the job centre for the first time and was totally appauld by the lack of help they were offering and the way that they treated him. Wrote him off despite all his experience because of his age.


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## skyblue (Sep 15, 2010)

Leah84 said:


> that`s all great in writing but how realistic is it for many people??? there`s not a lot of jobs willing to hire people just during school hours and what about school holidays?? i can`t see many employers allowing people to take every holiday off. i realise in most cases people will have family to help out with childcare so it can be done BUT in my case (assuming i was a single parent) i live away from all my family and friends and only have 1 person down here who could look after my daughter and even then she has a life of her own so could only do it on the odd occasion. i know a lot of people in a similar situation too, it`s just not viable to suggest bringing in a stranger to look after the child as it`s too costly and not only that but there`s also so many cases of abuse these days


this is about the effort.....these days so many are very happy to raise they're kids off the backs of other peoples hard work.....if they're genuinely looking for a job fair play..if not then its tough


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2010)

skyblue said:


> this is about the effort.....these days so many are very happy to raise they're kids off the backs of other peoples hard work.....if they're genuinely looking for a job fair play..if not then its tough


But thats the problem! it's not going to be TOUGH! at least its not for them that will no doubt learn to play the system! Those that will just go on to produce child upon child upon child!

The one's that will be more affected is those that genuinely don't like the situation that they are in! Those that through no fault of their own are left to bring up a child on their own because their husbands had p*ssed off! Many of these people are dreaming and planning for the day that they can go back to work and feel 'valued - to have a future, to better themselves! if is those that will find it 'tough' having to take any job ' just because'! again the real scroungers will get away scott free!


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## ebonymagic (Jun 18, 2010)

Mese said:


> My Daughter has two kids and has always held down a job to support them :thumbup:
> 
> The one she has now is not the best job going (she works in a truck stop cafe) , she's on minimum wage , but its good honest work and she likes the people she works with and the customers are always friendly
> The government help her with child-care , and the school have a Breakfast club where kids can go if their parents need to get to work , again for a small fee
> ...


I am a single parent to 2 boys, I have not worked since my oldest was 7, I did it through choice because I wanted to look after my boys, after all they are my kids.

Does that make me a scrounger too?


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2010)

ebonymagic said:


> I am a single parent to 2 boys, I have not worked since my oldest was 7, I did it through choice because I wanted to look after my boys, after all they are my kids.
> 
> Does that make me a scrounger too?


Don't quite understand ! do you mean that you have not worked since your eldest reached seven and that you were prior to then! or that you started to work when you son reached seven!
Can't reply to your post if I can't undertand it!
DT


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2010)

Monkey Government!


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

nfp20 said:


> My dad was told friday last week that his company had no work and they were all laid off as of that moment. He's mids 60's worked for the same company as a carpenter for the last 45 years and as he's subcontracted thats it no handshake or even an extra weeks money nothing. He's in shock at the moment and as the only bread winner (my mum had strokes and had to give up her pt job at the dentists) so is my mum, they are both very frightened about the future.
> 
> .


that's awful, really sorry to hear it  I hope they manage to find support or work somehow...


skyblue said:


> this is about the effort.....these days so many are very happy to raise they're kids off the backs of other peoples hard work.....if they're genuinely looking for a job fair play..if not then its tough


I am genuinly looking every single day, it's proving almost impossible... I am starting to understand why people don't bother even trying to be quite honest..


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## 0nyxx (Aug 9, 2008)

as everyones said there arent enough jobs to go round, so theyre just gonna harras the life out of people to look for work thats not even there!


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2010)

0nyxx said:


> as everyones said there arent enough jobs to go round, so theyre just gonna harras the life out of people to look for work thats not even there!


As I keep saying! bring down the retirement age for them that want it - say anyone that has paid there insurance contributions continuiously for 40 years!

OH has been paying for 45 years now !


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## LostGirl (Jan 16, 2009)

My friends parents were told they couldnt get any help at all, her mum has terminal cancer her dad needs to be her mums career as she cant not look after her self at all because it it. They had to fight to be able to get anything even though they both had worked for 40yrs odd!


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## ebonymagic (Jun 18, 2010)

DoubleTrouble said:


> Don't quite understand ! do you mean that you have not worked since your eldest reached seven and that you were prior to then! or that you started to work when you son reached seven!
> Can't reply to your post if I can't undertand it!
> DT


I have 2 boys, one is now 13, the other is 5. I have not worked since my oldest was 7. This means I have not worked for 7 years. I also have Mental health issues. Its only now that I have the confidence to even contemplate finding a job. I was in the process of getting myself back in to the real world when I fell for my 2nd son.

If I could afford to do distance learning I would, if there were jobs that were ideal for school hours I would do them. My sons are my responsibility, why should someone else bring my children up? I made the decision to have them surely I should be the one to look after them.

I won't be having any more kids when my youngest is 7, I will be actively looking for work and also training with my Mum to groom dogs.


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Daynna said:


> My friends parents were told they couldnt get any help at all, her mum has terminal cancer her dad needs to be her mums career as she cant not look after her self at all because it it. They had to fight to be able to get anything even though they both had worked for 40yrs odd!


If someone is terminally ill and being cared for, you can get a DS1500 form from the GP and it means they person gets Disability Living Allowance at the highest rate, which is £142 I think. Its not means tested, the cant refuse to pay it.


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## Guest (Oct 21, 2010)

ebonymagic said:


> I . My sons are my responsibility, why should someone else bring my children up? I made the decision to have them surely I should be the one to look after them.
> 
> .


In the same vain why should someone else be expected to foot the bill for keeping your children! that is of course assuming that you are surviving entirely on benifits! if you are not then please forgive me for assuming!


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## momentofmadness (Jul 19, 2008)

gorgeous said:


> One announcement from chancellor George Osborne that seems to have been quietly reported (almost whispered) is the change to benefits for lone parents. Mr Osborne said the government expects lone parents to look for work when their youngest child goes to school.
> 
> Currently lone parents who are claiming income support benefit do not have to start looking for employment until their youngest child reaches the age of ten.
> 
> ...


I am a lone parent but I work.... But the prob people reach is that when you work you work every week.. and then they have loads of school holidays, it is very hard to find affordable care for your children in that time...

I am quite lucky I work nights so their dad or nan has them through the night.. and I just dont realy get sleep the next day...

But what about all those families who have both parents and cant be bothered to go to work!

And the single ones who dont even look for a job, and have everything paid for them, and they have no reason to work..

I understand some people are struggling to find work.. But some just cant be bleeding arsed!


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## fire-siamesekitty (Jun 8, 2010)

Wasnt it the governments fault for lending money in the first placeand because its getting out of control they are having to put a stop on alot of things.We are the ones who have to suffer

When it comes to voting this is why i dont bother, cuz the government only stab you in the back anyway


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

fire-siamesekitty said:


> Wasnt it the governments fault for lending money in the first placeand because its getting out of control they are having to put a stop on alot of things.We are the ones who have to suffer
> 
> When it comes to voting this is why i dont bother, cuz the government only stab you in the back anyway


To be fair though i know people who have taken out ridiculous loans that they couldn't afford even against good advice not to. That's kind of down to the individual IMO.


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## owieprone (Nov 6, 2008)

ClaireLily said:


> I too expect lone parents to look for work when their youngest child starts school. It's called supporting your children and is something I thought every parent felt quite strongly about.
> 
> My mum's a single parent and worked part time as far back as I can remember, she went full time when my youngest sibling went to school, I thought this was normal?!


same here, very few of my mates had a housemum, and those that did didn't claim benefits. though we 'middle class' so probaly not the demographic this rule is aimed at.

my mum was a p/t teacher lol so worked the same hours and holidays as we did.

i think quite alot of employers are more willing to work around housemums needs than before so it'll be easier to get a job, JUST as soon as the economy is sorted out and people are employing properly again. and this is just for those on benefits too, not those who don't claim, while still a large number it's probably not as bad as it sounds.

think how many more avon and kleeneze reps there'll be  i'm only kidding , though stuff like that would be ideal.


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## Squirrel (Oct 14, 2008)

I am a single parent, I work part time and have done since my child was 14 months. It can be difficult and yes money is tight, I am lucky as my family looks after her during holidays etc. I did not want my daughter growing up thinking you can sit around all day and still have money, and she really does appreciate even at the age of 11 that money doesn't grow on trees. I feel this is an important reason to go to work if you are able, there seems to be a whole generation that feels it is ok to do nothing with your time, this cycle needs to be broken, otherwise things will never change.


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## fire-siamesekitty (Jun 8, 2010)

RAINYBOW said:


> To be fair though i know people who have taken out ridiculous loans that they couldn't afford even against good advice not to. That's kind of down to the individual IMO.


Ive never had a loan in my entire life, they are a big rip off.House loans on the other hand, thats where banks make their money.But you still have to pay double the amount bank.

But i agree with you on that quote


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

fire-siamesekitty said:


> Ive never had a loan in my entire life, they are a big rip off.House loans on the other hand, thats where banks make their money.But you still have to pay double the amount bank.
> 
> But i agree with you on that quote


Someone i know was able to borrow 130% mortgage !!!!! (northern rock ) It meant despite having no kids her and OH could buy a 2 bed house plus kit it out with all new furniture and decorate it throughout. I have owned a house for 12 years and not been able to do that 

The house dropped in value so now its in negative equity and he OH ran off with another woman, she is stuffed really and it is inevitable she will have it repossesed, what a total waste of time and money.


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## rocco33 (Dec 27, 2009)

> My sons are my responsibility, why should someone else bring my children up? I made the decision to have them surely I should be the one to look after them.


I entirely agree with this, but that also includes paying for them too. You don't say whether or not you earn or rely entirely on benefits. As that really is the deciding factor.


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## CarolineH (Aug 4, 2009)

Nobody *HAS* to have children whilst single yet thousands are doing and then sitting back to rely on the state to feed, clothe and house them. The ones I feel sorry for are those single parents (mostly women it has to be said) who have either been 'left' by their partners or who have had to leave to escape abuse etc. They are being tarred with the same brush and that's not fair!


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## Val001 (Aug 25, 2010)

CarolineH said:


> Nobody *HAS* to have children whilst single yet thousands are doing and then sitting back to rely on the state to feed, clothe and house them. The ones I feel sorry for are those single parents (mostly women it has to be said) who have either been 'left' by their partners or who have had to leave to escape abuse etc. They are being tarred with the same brush and that's not fair!


I totally agree and the same goes for couples. You decide to have children no-one forces you to so you should budget for the cost.

I would scrap all child benefit for planned pregnancies and only reinstate if a partner leaves or is faced with unemployment. Why should the government support the children you wanted.


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## Spellweaver (Jul 17, 2009)

CarolineH said:


> Nobody *HAS* to have children whilst single yet thousands are doing and then sitting back to rely on the state to feed, clothe and house them. The ones I feel sorry for are those single parents (mostly women it has to be said) who have either been 'left' by their partners or who have had to leave to escape abuse etc. They are being tarred with the same brush and that's not fair!





Val001 said:


> I totally agree and the same goes for couples. You decide to have children no-one forces you to so you should budget for the cost.
> 
> I would scrap all child benefit for planned pregnancies and only reinstate if a partner leaves or is faced with unemployment. Why should the government support the children you wanted.


Agree with both. I limit the amount of animals I own to the amount I know I can afford to look after properly. I don't expect other taxpayers to pay me money so I can have more pets. Why then, should I expect to be funded by other taxpayers if I wanted children I couldn't afford to look after properly?

The benefit money provided by taxpayers should be for the people who genuinely need help for unplanned, unforseen events, such as serious illness or disability, widowhood, redundancy or divorce.


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## owieprone (Nov 6, 2008)

instead of child credits they should just put the money straight into child care facilities and schools, that way those with kids wouldn't have to get money individually and would probably cost LESS than the way it's run now.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Squirrel said:


> I am a single parent, I work part time and have done since my child was 14 months. It can be difficult and yes money is tight, I am lucky as my family looks after her during holidays etc. I did not want my daughter growing up thinking you can sit around all day and still have money, and she really does appreciate even at the age of 11 that money doesn't grow on trees. I feel this is an important reason to go to work if you are able, there seems to be a whole generation that feels it is ok to do nothing with your time, this cycle needs to be broken, otherwise things will never change.


Why cant more of this country think/feel this way. Hats off to you, it might be hard now but you will be able to look back and know you have what you have earned and your children will grow up respectful and with the right morals as their mum.:thumbup: good on you.


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## nfp20 (Jun 29, 2010)

ClaireLouise said:


> If someone is terminally ill and being cared for, you can get a DS1500 form from the GP and it means they person gets Disability Living Allowance at the highest rate, which is £142 I think. Its not means tested, the cant refuse to pay it.


You do need the letter from the specialist though to confirm the illness is terminal. My aunt has cancer a reoccurance after 10 years and is terminal but was told she was not entitled to anything either!! I was furious and had a complete **** fit at them its dreadful that you have to fight for things and when people are vulnerable like that its shameful.

Our system stinks!!

On the plus side my OH made a website for my dad and he has been slowly but surely getting work through it enough to tide them over although not the levels he was before. Shocking how many people need a carpenter and search the net for one for just those little jobs that need doing. Its really helped his self esteem and hopefully it will tide him over until work picks up again with his old employers.

Its worth if your not working to do a proper skill set evaluation with the amount of time you have available and what your own interests are, sometimes there is something staring you in the face that you can do where you work for yourself, costs can be very little to start up. Webeden is a very good site if you want to make yourself a little website, go on give it ago its worth it!


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## WelshOneEmma (Apr 11, 2009)

CarolineH said:


> How many employers will be prepared to give 12 weeks holiday a year plus inset days etc as well as sudden time off because the child is ill? :


Why should they do that? Other mothers seem to be able to work and sort this out. Yes it can be hard, but a lot of women seem to manage it.


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## holly1 (Aug 10, 2010)

If you work on a relief contracted job,you can pick the hours you want to work.I am contracted 14 hours a week,evenings.Then if I want any extras,i ask my boss. But 14 is enough for our family,as the other half is full time.My wages pays for the food and water bill.And insurances:thumbup:


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

CarolineH said:


> How many employers will be prepared to give 12 weeks holiday a year plus inset days etc as well as sudden time off because the child is ill? :


Schools to name but one. And 9 out of 10 schools also run holiday camps/after school clubs. There are plenty of part time jobs that can be worked around with help and support of the other parent if available.

The rest of parents in employment don't have the above luxury either, mine never, but my mum didn't work when she had me, my dad did. They scrimped and saved, we never did anything like holiday abroad when we were kids as they simply couldn't afford to. When we were both in school, my mum went back to work. She got a job in a chippy, then a shop, and during summer they would book time off. Dad would take a week, mum took a week, then a week together and that was our holiday week. The other 3 weeks we were either with mum when she wasn't working or with grandparents, or in a play-school.

We were never spoilt or bought things for the sake of it, and it is only very recently (last 10 years or so) my parent's effots have paid off and they've started to look forward to the money and life they've saved and scrimped for over the past 34 years of being together.

The G'ment should make more childcare available and for better prices, I agree. But the above reasoning doesn't wash with me, for the above reasons.


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## theevos5 (Dec 24, 2009)

when my youngest started school I got a job in a school too,to fit in with him,so when he had holidays I did too,I did this until the kids were older.Even though I was working at the school and my hubby was working minimum wage,we were told that we were on the poverty line and we would be better off on benefits!My kids were called tramp by the single parent kids as alot,not all,always had the best of everything and also they were the first in line for the free laptop computer scheme last year! I totally agree that they should have some kind of work even if its 15 hrs,but some kind of contribution to their living expenses.


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

WelshOneEmma said:


> Why should they do that? Other mothers seem to be able to work and sort this out. Yes it can be hard, but a lot of women seem to manage it.


But do those women have family to rely on over the holidays so they dont have to pay out most of their wages on childcare?


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## gillieworm (Jul 4, 2008)

As a none single, none parent, I think its a good thing.

I was brought up by a single mum who worked her ass off to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table and clothes on our back. We literally lived hand to mouth for years. And you know what my mum is my hero and inspiration. She never claimed for benefits a day in her life. Her struggle made me more determined to make something of my life and not have to rely financially on anyone else, be that a man or the state. I honestly don't think me and my sister would be the women we are today if it wasnt for my mum being an amazing woman and working for everything we had.

Now on the flipside, my ste-sister started popping out the kids from the age of 17. Her mum has been on benefits most of her life and it has totally rubbed off on both of her kids. My step-sister with the kids thinks the world owes her a home, money etc. She goes out clubbing more than anyone I know, her kids wear designer gear and her house is kitted out with all the latest gadgets. She is a lazy bum that has never worked a day in her life. But then you look at the 2 comparisons and you can see why people dont go to work if they still have everything handed to them on a plate, and get things that working people dont because they cant afford them.

I chose to do a well paid career to better myself so that I could live in the big house, drive the new car and have the nice things, I work bloody hard for what I have, but why should I be paying for the likes of people that see having children as an easy meal ticket to life? Being a single parent is not a disability, and there are much more deserving cases of people getting benefits who are simply unable to work because of serious illness or disability


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

harley bear said:


> But do those women have family to rely on over the holidays so they dont have to pay out most of their wages on childcare?


Possibly, but single parents get a contribution towards their childcare, do they not?


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## hazel pritchard (Jun 28, 2009)

My daughter was a single parent, for 4 yrs ,she went back to work when her son was 3 months old, i looked after her son while she worked, she studied at night when he was asleep, she is now married and has another child, i look after them sometimes over the holidays , the rest of the time they go to "kids clubs" which cost between £25-£30 per day per child !!!!! and that is one of the cheaper ones here, I registered as a childminder when her son was a baby so i also had other children, I think all single parents should go to work when the child goes to school , but as already been said that looks ok on paper , in the real world its not that easy with "childcare " over the shool hols, The ones that make it look bad are the ones that just keep having more and more children, i know of one who had her 1st child at 16 yrs old, and now has 5 children and has never worked !!!!!


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

Horse and Hound said:


> Possibly, but single parents get a contribution towards their childcare, do they not?


would know im not a single parent.

i know i would find it very difficult if i was because i have no support with the kids.


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## kittykat (Nov 2, 2007)

at the end of the day and like countless others have already said there just isn't the work out there, pathetic really


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## Guest (Dec 16, 2010)

All that will happen is the moment that the youngest reaches school age they will churn out another! Needs to be a bit harder then that me finks!


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## tjk (Sep 1, 2010)

think in theory its a good idea, i will be at work when youngest is in full time school an im looking forward to it..

BUT all they consider as looking for work is going down the jobcentre an printing off jobs an going on any courses they tell u to and doing that will mean your benefits stay the same 
not realy that hard is it so most will do it but never get work
and like someone else has said there will be people that will get pregnant again so i think more should be done


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## Starlite (Sep 9, 2009)

People need to remember not everyone has a friend or family member that can look after their child while they go off to work and even fewer want to stick their newborn into private nurseries for someone else to raise. I have a friend that works in a nursery in Glasgow City Centre and they take kids from 1week old 

I only work part time atm, i will work part time again once the wee one is old enough for nursery and will also (hopefully) be studying rowards a degree.

Also, the amount of jobs available are very few, so what jobs are mums who need to try and fit a job round their family going to get in all honesty??


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## Amethyst (Jun 16, 2010)

snoopydo said:


> The Government on 1 hand go on about The Umemployment Crisis THEN Say this.. I do agree with this latest propsal BUT WHERE are all of the EXTRA JOBS Coming from ???????
> 
> They Seem to come up with these idea's but don't think of the much bigger picture.


My thoughts entirely! My initial thoughts were "what work?"


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## tjk (Sep 1, 2010)

also i wanna meet these people who have plasma tvs an designer gear ! ive had my tv for about 7 years! vcr for 5years, dvd player, laptop , an my camera were gifts off family for xmas/birthday i cloth shop in primark by basic range in food my luxeries are mobile phone an sky i have to work out every penny every week an i am on a high rate of bennifits so how the heck do others afford all that stuff !


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## WelshOneEmma (Apr 11, 2009)

harley bear said:


> But do those women have family to rely on over the holidays so they dont have to pay out most of their wages on childcare?


I wouldn't know, i am not in the situation where I have children yet as i can not afford to have children. I pay 40% tax, and grew up in a town where all people wanted to do was get pregnant and go on benefits, so it particularly annoys me that my hard earned money is paying for this.

I realise that some people can not work for genuine reasons, and i am happy for my taxes to go towards this. i am sure that there are a lot of people out there who don't have family to rely on, but still work. Its just excuses.

when i choose to have children, i will ensure that i can pay for them but also that as i dont have much family up here, i have systems in place for childcare.

As for the comments about jobs, is there something wrong with restaurants / supermarkets etc? its not glamorous, but a job is a job. if you look hard enough, you find one.


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## Guest (Dec 16, 2010)

WelshOneEmma said:


> I wouldn't know, i am not in the situation where I have children yet as i can not afford to have children. I pay 40% tax, and grew up in a town where all people wanted to do was get pregnant and go on benefits, so it particularly annoys me that my hard earned money is paying for this.
> 
> I realise that some people can not work for genuine reasons, and i am happy for my taxes to go towards this. i am sure that there are a lot of people out there who don't have family to rely on, but still work. Its just excuses.
> 
> ...


Well said you! and well done too! EVERYTHING you have said here is spot on!

I'm not working as it happens, but not on benifits either! but funnily enough I have had a letter today from the IR confirming our refundi for the £100 they took from us for not filing our return on time for 2009 - and generous IR have paid us a bit of interest too! 80p:thumbup::thumbup: (haven't worked since 2008) but looking at the tax paid for that year now - over £7k I wonder where that went??? could do with a bit back now in all honesty but guess I will always be at the back of the queue when they dish out the handouts!!

There are SOME genuine cases - there always have been - but on the same note there are two many scroungers out there that think WE owe em a living!

DT


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

I cant help but think if things were like it used to be, many would be out there working, juggling a family because that was the only way they would have any money, money for stay at home mums now has changed all that.


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## piggybaker (Feb 10, 2009)

I have not read through the whole thread sorry

I was very lucky I got married had a child later another one and was in a postion for hubby to support me, was tight though,, I did go out and get a job as a dinner lady when my youngest started school, I felt it was time for me to bring in a bit of help finacally into the home, as the children got older and stable in school I started to work full time in a school, I have been very very lucky.

BUT I would not could not work in an office where it would be expected of me to give my child to someone else to look after before and after school and during holidays. I think if the goverment want parents to return to work when there youngest is in school they have to make sure that the employer understands about holidays and inset days.

Mega off topic BUT
child benift should be stopped after your second child,, it really does make me cross when (and I do know people who have done this) have child after child to get the benifit that comes with it. 

its strange isn't it, how you want to be there for your child but you have to ignore them to work.


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Starlite said:


> People need to remember not everyone has a friend or family member that can look after their child while they go off to work and even fewer want to stick their newborn into private nurseries for someone else to raise. I have a friend that works in a nursery in Glasgow City Centre and they take kids from 1week old
> 
> I only work part time atm, i will work part time again once the wee one is old enough for nursery and will also (hopefully) be studying rowards a degree.
> 
> Also, the amount of jobs available are very few, so what jobs are mums who need to try and fit a job round their family going to get in all honesty??


We dont have family or friends to watch our children while we work. We have to pay private nursery, no choice unfortunatly. It costs a fortune and we get a minimal amount of help towards it but thats life we just get on with it. Mine have been in nursery or looked after while I work since they were 6 months old. 
There are jobs that fit around families, ive had a few but they arent easy to find


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## piggybaker (Feb 10, 2009)

ClaireLouise said:


> We dont have family or friends to watch our children while we work. We have to pay private nursery, no choice unfortunatly. It costs a fortune and we get a minimal amount of help towards it but thats life we just get on with it. Mine have been in nursery or looked after while I work since they were 6 months old.
> There are jobs that fit around families, ive had a few but they arent easy to find


and its not fair is it,, if couples decide to have a family and then go back to work there should be jobs out there that will help,, like more job shares ,, and I feel nurseries are a little to expensive as well,, I do understan d it is our choice to have children but sometimes its just all a little to much.


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

piggybaker said:


> and its not fair is it,, if couples decide to have a family and then go back to work there should be jobs out there that will help,, like more job shares ,, and I feel nurseries are a little to expensive as well,, I do understan d it is our choice to have children but sometimes its just all a little to much.


A week of nursery would cost us around £340  so I dont think anyone would begrudge the £30 the governement gives us towards it lol, remind me why I go to work again


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## piggybaker (Feb 10, 2009)

ClaireLouise said:


> A week of nursery would cost us around £340  so I dont think anyone would begrudge the £30 the governement gives us towards it lol, remind me why I go to work again


wow that is a might chunk, but you want the best people to look after your nipper so at the end of the day its good. and no I defently do not begrudge the £30 thats for sure.


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## Starlite (Sep 9, 2009)

ClaireLouise said:


> We dont have family or friends to watch our children while we work. We have to pay private nursery, no choice unfortunatly. It costs a fortune and we get a minimal amount of help towards it but thats life we just get on with it. Mine have been in nursery or looked after while I work since they were 6 months old.
> There are jobs that fit around families, ive had a few but they arent easy to find


See i dont think its fair that you have to wave your child off at 6mths old, it must have been really hard.

My sister did the same as you. Oldest was at school and she put youngest in a private nursery and worked 6 mornings a week which only covered her nursery fees so she could go to college and study. She was actually better off on benefits but refused to do it.

The wee man is now at school and my sis is a qualified nursery nurse but it was incredibly hard for her.


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Starlite said:


> See i dont think its fair that you have to wave your child off at 6mths old, it must have been really hard.
> 
> My sister did the same as you. Oldest was at school and she put youngest in a private nursery and worked 6 mornings a week which only covered her nursery fees so she could go to college and study. She was actually better off on benefits but refused to do it.
> 
> The wee man is now at school and my sis is a qualified nursery nurse but it was incredibly hard for her.


I actually think I would be better off on benefits but I couldnt cope at home knowing I CAN work. Ive missed loads of my kids growing up but need must unfortunatly.


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## Guest (Dec 16, 2010)

ClaireLouise said:


> I actually think I would be better off on benefits but I couldnt cope at home knowing I CAN work. Ive missed loads of my kids growing up but need must unfortunatly.


Claire, we are talking sinle parents me thinks! many of em that drop another kid the moment that youngest reaches the age when their benifits would stop
And that in my view NEEDS to stop to give more to them that are doing it the RIGHT WAY!
love
DT
x


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Starlite said:


> See i dont think its fair that you have to wave your child off at 6mths old, it must have been really hard.
> 
> My sister did the same as you. Oldest was at school and she put youngest in a private nursery and worked 6 mornings a week which only covered her nursery fees so she could go to college and study. She was actually better off on benefits but refused to do it.
> 
> The wee man is now at school and my sis is a qualified nursery nurse but it was incredibly hard for her.


Well done her she must feel now that it was worth it, a few more thinking like that would be good.


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

DoubleTrouble said:


> Claire, we are talking sinle parents me thinks! many of em that drop another kid the moment that youngest reaches the age when their benifits would stop
> And that in my view NEEDS to stop to give more to them that are doing it the RIGHT WAY!
> love
> DT
> x


Yeah I know what you mean, I agree. :thumbup: Bloody makes me mad that people get away with churning kids out to avoid work and many do it


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## WelshOneEmma (Apr 11, 2009)

It may sound archaic, but we need to go back to a society where benefits are a last resort, and less than you get for minimum wage.

No-one should have to go back to work if they dont want to once they have kids, but they shouldn't expect the state to pick up the tab either.


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## Akitaowner (Dec 1, 2010)

With the way everything is closing down, the higher tax rates, inflated petrol prices along with gas and electric how are single mothers suppose to work. I do agree that people have to start coming off benefits to help make the country more efficient but surely we should be looking at the people who refuse to work, that are too lazy to get out of bed in the morning to get a job. The other people who claim sickness benefit when there is nothing stopping them get a job? Or what about the tax dodgers that cost this Country £25 billion? but I guess the Tories don't want to go after the richer instead they will squeeze more out of the people who they can get away with it better


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## shazalhasa (Jul 21, 2009)

You're so right, all these social scroungers and tax dodgers are bringing everything down. If these single women want kids then they should be in a position to support them themselves and not just do it because they can get more money and benefits such as a nice free flat or house with no council tax to pay and money for sitting on their lazy ar$es all day everyday  

I'm a single parent of one and have worked since leaving school at 17... long long time ago now  When I split from her dad I took on the house that we'd bought together, had to work hard to finish doing it up in between working full time and doing all the mother stuff with no help. I'm a bit confused by the figures I read earlier in this thread about childcare costs and the amounts paid towards it... I'm guessing via child tax credits ?? My child was in childcare and I was paying £18 per day and getting 70% of that back via child tax credits... how many children were being looked after for £340 and why was there only £30 given back ?? This makes no sense at all :confused1: It's been quite a while since I worked for someone else, I now work for myself and have done for over 3 years so the amounts could have changed I guess


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## sequeena (Apr 30, 2009)

shazalhasa said:


> You're so right, all these social scroungers and tax dodgers are bringing everything down. If these single women want kids then they should be in a position to support them themselves and not just do it because they can get more money and benefits such as a nice free flat or house with no council tax to pay and money for sitting on their lazy ar$es all day everyday
> 
> I'm a single parent of one and have worked since leaving school at 17... long long time ago now  When I split from her dad I took on the house that we'd bought together, had to work hard to finish doing it up in between working full time and doing all the mother stuff with no help. I'm a bit confused by the figures I read earlier in this thread about childcare costs and the amounts paid towards it... I'm guessing via child tax credits ?? My child was in childcare and I was paying £18 per day and getting 70% of that back via child tax credits... how many children were being looked after for £340 and why was there only £30 given back ?? This makes no sense at all :confused1: It's been quite a while since I worked for someone else, I now work for myself and have done for over 3 years so the amounts could have changed I guess


Do you honestly think most of the people in our town are going to willingly go back to work :lol:


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

shazalhasa said:


> You're so right, all these social scroungers and tax dodgers are bringing everything down. If these single women want kids then they should be in a position to support them themselves and not just do it because they can get more money and benefits such as a nice free flat or house with no council tax to pay and money for sitting on their lazy ar$es all day everyday
> 
> I'm a single parent of one and have worked since leaving school at 17... long long time ago now  When I split from her dad I took on the house that we'd bought together, had to work hard to finish doing it up in between working full time and doing all the mother stuff with no help. I'm a bit confused by the figures I read earlier in this thread about childcare costs and the amounts paid towards it... I'm guessing via child tax credits ?? My child was in childcare and I was paying £18 per day and getting 70% of that back via child tax credits... how many children were being looked after for £340 and why was there only £30 given back ?? This makes no sense at all :confused1: It's been quite a while since I worked for someone else, I now work for myself and have done for over 3 years so the amounts could have changed I guess


£340 is 2 children 5 days in nursery and I get £30 child tax credits for child care


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

shazalhasa said:


> You're so right, all these social scroungers and tax dodgers are bringing everything down. If these single women want kids then they should be in a position to support them themselves and not just do it because they can get more money and benefits such as a nice free flat or house with no council tax to pay and money for sitting on their lazy ar$es all day everyday
> 
> I'm a single parent of one and have worked since leaving school at 17... long long time ago now  When I split from her dad I took on the house that we'd bought together, had to work hard to finish doing it up in between working full time and doing all the mother stuff with no help. I'm a bit confused by the figures I read earlier in this thread about childcare costs and the amounts paid towards it... I'm guessing via child tax credits ?? My child was in childcare and I was paying £18 per day and getting 70% of that back via child tax credits... how many children were being looked after for £340 and why was there only £30 given back ?? This makes no sense at all :confused1: It's been quite a while since I worked for someone else, I now work for myself and have done for over 3 years so the amounts could have changed I guess


As i registered childminder i charge £3.95 per hour PER CHILD. 2 kids nearly £8.00 a day x 8 hrs a day £60 a day (ish) x 5 £300 per week but CMs are cheaper than Nurseries, you can't get a decent nursery place round here for much less than £50 a day.


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

RAINYBOW said:


> As i registered childminder i charge £3.95 per hour PER CHILD. 2 kids nearly £8.00 a day x 8 hrs a day £60 a day (ish) x 5 £300 per week but CMs are cheaper than Nurseries, you can't get a decent nursery place round here for much less than £50 a day.


The nursery I use is cheap then  I love the people at Nursery they are lovely, they love the kids and you can tell they are genuine, I dont want megs to go fulltime school in January


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## Amethyst (Jun 16, 2010)

Always going to be moot issue I guess, but to be honest, call me old fashioned but I think young children benefit from having a parent around full time until they begin school  

If that means a single parent needs help via benefit system, fair enough in my mind. I don't like anyone like to see the system abused, which it sometimes is alas.

Just my thoughts as someone who has contributed my taxes and never claimed child benefit


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## sequeena (Apr 30, 2009)

Claiming doesn't mean you're not a good parent or shouldn't have kids. Bloody David Cameron claims CB


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

Leah84 said:


> that`s all great in writing but how realistic is it for many people??? there`s not a lot of jobs willing to hire people just during school hours and what about school holidays?? i can`t see many employers allowing people to take every holiday off.
> 
> i realise in most cases people will have family to help out with childcare so it can be done BUT in my case (assuming i was a single parent) i live away from all my family and friends and only have 1 person down here who could look after my daughter and even then she has a life of her own so could only do it on the odd occasion. i know a lot of people in a similar situation too, it`s just not viable to suggest bringing in a stranger to look after the child as it`s too costly and not only that but there`s also so many cases of abuse these days


Pay for childcare as I did. As a single parent, I had no option but to go back to work full-time when my daughter was a tiny baby - she had private childcare right the way through her early childhood and then private school - and has grown into a fantastic young woman - so please don't tell me it's not possible to do


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## ClaireLouise (Oct 11, 2009)

Amethyst said:


> Always going to be moot issue I guess, but to be honest, *call me old fashioned but I think young children benefit from having a parent around full time until they begin school *
> If that means a single parent needs help via benefit system, fair enough in my mind. I don't like anyone like to see the system abused, which it sometimes is alas.
> 
> Just my thoughts as someone who has contributed my taxes and never claimed child benefit


*They may benefit from it but I could never afford to do it, even if I was single *



swarthy said:


> Pay for childcare as I did. As a single parent, I had no option but to go back to work full-time when my daughter was a tiny baby - she had private childcare right the way through her early childhood and then private school - and has grown into a fantastic young woman - so please don't tell me it's not possible to do


I have friends who are single parents and they manage to work too, its not easy and they deserve a medal but they do it.


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## shazalhasa (Jul 21, 2009)

Amethyst said:


> Always going to be moot issue I guess, but to be honest, call me old fashioned but I think young children benefit from having a parent around full time until they begin school
> 
> If that means a single parent needs help via benefit system, fair enough in my mind. I don't like anyone like to see the system abused, which it sometimes is alas.
> 
> Just my thoughts as someone who has contributed my taxes and never claimed child benefit


Don't get me wrong, it's important for children to have their parents around and doing things with them but the majority of the single unemployed parents that I know of don't do a thing with their kids other than tell them to shut up or get out and play  they don't seem to bother doing anything with them all week, then go out on the pop and pull at the weekends whilst the kid is either with grandparents or left with some teenager who's only interested in having underage unprotected sex on the settee when the kids are in bed  Oh I live in a lovely place


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## Acacia86 (Dec 30, 2008)

I HATE not being able to collect my daughter from school everyday and then spend the afternoon with her. But to me working is a way of life not a choice! 

I am setting her an example just as my Dad did to me when my own Mum died and he was left with 2 children to bring up alone with a mortgage etc

I get no 'top up' or help with child care fee's. I work part time and while my daughter is in full time school now (she is 4) her old pre-school does an after school club for her school so i pay them to collect her and keep her there until i finish work 3 days a week. 

In the school holidays i pay a lot more as she is there all the time i work. 

It is really hard but thats life!!! I would be better off on benefits, but i refuse point blank to use them!

My cousin (whom i really dislike) has a son that is in full time school and she claims benefits and won't work instead she drives aroound chatting up men in vans  

The problem is that some people see benefits as a way of life and this needs to stop. I have too much pride to allow other hard working people to pay for my daughter, myself, my home, my bills and my pets!! when i can work.

Sadly for some its ''wont work'' not can't work  and its these people that let all us other single mums down.


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## critter (Sep 14, 2010)

Hi, So where is the problem?, single parents should be made to look for work in order to help support and bring up their child, It seems that today too many make a career of being unemployed, what sort of example is that setting the next generation?, I along with the majority of my generation were brought up to*earn* not *scrounge* a living, It seems despite all the complaints that financially life is easy today for those that choose to be unemployed. wayne.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

Starlite said:


> Also, the amount of jobs available are very few, so what jobs are mums who need to try and fit a job round their family going to get in all honesty??




Sorry, but there are jobs there with the right hours, just not ones that people want to do. At the end of the day, in my opinion needs must. This post is exactly right:




WelshOneEmma said:


> I wouldn't know, i am not in the situation where I have children yet as i can not afford to have children. I pay 40% tax, and grew up in a town where all people wanted to do was get pregnant and go on benefits, so it particularly annoys me that my hard earned money is paying for this.





WelshOneEmma said:


> I realise that some people can not work for genuine reasons, and i am happy for my taxes to go towards this. i am sure that there are a lot of people out there who don't have family to rely on, but still work. Its just excuses.
> 
> when i choose to have children, i will ensure that i can pay for them but also that as i dont have much family up here, i have systems in place for childcare.
> 
> As for the comments about jobs, is there something wrong with restaurants / supermarkets etc? its not glamorous, but a job is a job. if you look hard enough, you find one.




I fail to see why I should be funding someones life at home when they just prefer to be at home, whilst working my ass off? 




piggybaker said:


> I do understand it is our choice to have children but sometimes its just all a little to much.


 
Sorry, but again I disagree. You choose to have children, all this should be taken into consideration before deciding to have one.

If I wanted I could have a kid now, but I know we are not in a position to do so, so we will be waiting a good 5 or 6 years until that time. Id love a baby now, but we cant. My OH has now got a great job for us, as hes started working in a school as a teaching assistant. Its not magic pay but we know that come the time we want children it will prove priceless. I am the main breadwinner in my household, and unless something drastic happens that will never change.

And yes, I do feel a child would benefit from having a parent at home full time, but to be honest if that parent is the only one in the house that is bringing in money then sorry but they should be at work to pay and provide for that child. I sure as hell know if I was a single mum Id be at work, I couldnt stand the thought of being on benefits alone.

I take REALY issue with this attitude that society SHOULD help us. Why, exactly? I get no help towards any of my living costs, or my petrol allowance or my house hold bills. Do I not deserve it as much as anyone else? Not according to the Gment, and all because I work.

Its too easy to get benefits these days.



Acacia86 said:


> I HATE not being able to collect my daughter from school everyday and then spend the afternoon with her. But to me working is a way of life not a choice!
> 
> I am setting her an example just as my Dad did to me when my own Mum died and he was left with 2 children to bring up alone with a mortgage etc
> 
> ...


Hats off to you my dear, and I fully agree with your last point! My friend has had 4 children. After her 3rd she was ready to go back to work (she'd been a stay at home mum up until this point as she was with the kids dad and they could afford it). However when she fell pregnant with her 4th she was with a new partner and they can't, so she's said that once he's 6 months old she'll be looking into getting a job as she hates it. She won't be much better off (about £40 a week she reckons) but she said she'll FEEL better in herself.


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## shibby (Oct 3, 2010)

snoopydo said:


> lots of young girls have babie's these days ''Just to get a Council and more benefits'' I know that comment will upset people but I know in some cases it's True....They'll have a Bloody shock when they have to look for a Shock/Horror a JOB and actually WORK and pay Rent/council Tax like the rest of us.:scaredoor souls ..............
> 
> But actually being realistic of the way things are at the min....Have the Government actually said WHERE These Jobs that will have to be got can be Found????????
> 
> There MORE Children starting school than available Jobs out there :confused1:


Not read all of the thread but I agree! Where I grew up, you're looked at like a complete alien for having a job/studying and venturing out in to the world. What makes you laugh/frustrates you even more is the fact they have kids and just shout obscenities at them all day long, hardly a vocation  Anyway, back on topic, exactly, where will these jobs be coming from? Especially the manual jobs etc. It's no fun actively seeking work and being rejected for months on end, especially when you have a family to support.


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

Horse and Hound said:


> Possibly, but single parents get a contribution towards their childcare, do they not?


 When I had my daughter, there was no such thing as funding towards childcare - my mother was too sick to help out and my dad worked full-time, so over HALF my very meagre wages went on childcare - but do you know? I would do the same in a heartbeat.

I spent 2.5 weeks in hospital including post delivery surgery, split up with my daughters father, moved 200 miles away and went out and got myself a job and my daughter a nursery place by the time she was 5 weeks old and returned to work when she was 6 weeks old.

I spent 4 years of my daughters childhood in full-time Uni while holding down three part-time jobs and a further 6 years as a part-time student doing my Masters and Teacher Training while working full-time - my daughter went from private nursey to private school - she didn't have a typical childhood - but she had a very good one much loved by all members of her immediate, and latterly through my new partner, extended family, and has grown into a fine young woman. She recently met her dad and half siblings for the first time, and it has made her realise even more why I did what I did, and the differences it has made to her life.

The point is, if you want it badly enough, then you will do it come hell or high water, sadly, for many, the motivation simply isn't there.

There are too many families stuck in a benefits trap that continues from generation to generation - I had a baby young out of wedlock - but wild horses wouldn't have dragged me down to the level of many others around me. At the end of the day, it's not about money, it's about pride in yourself and wanting to do the best for your family so that happily, they can have pride in themselves.


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## jen50 (Dec 23, 2009)

I agree totally with that. I am a mother of 3.

My husband goes to work and after the birth on my youngest last year my company agreed to let me work from home. Which is perfect for us as we do not have any family support around us and any child care I would have needed going to work would have eaten up all my earnings straight away.

It just makes me so angry  when I see some not working single mums at the school. Arms loaded with shopping bags from the local high street and that not just ones a week. 
One single mum down the school I used to speak to just had a boy to start with but when the questions from the job centre about her finding a job became to much she conveniently got herself pregnant again(funny enough from the father of her son(who of course) has his name *not* on the birth certificates so that he does not have to support them in any way) 
But she is doing alright for herself and even goes on skiing holidays. 2 bedroom house, new settee, a huge flat screen TV in the lounge and buys her clothes only in top shop.:scared: Of course all bought with credit cards. Her credit card limit is even higher than mine. HOW COME ??!!! I thought you needed a type of security (like an income) to show that you can pay of your debt in order to get a credit card
I just found it always so funny when she used to complain about the prices in the shops. And that the country is s.. etc. 
"Relax Darling" is not that you actually have to go and earn the money yourself you are spending. She wants to try and live the same life in Brasil or somewhere.

Benefits are a great thing for people who "really" need them. But some people use the fact of "having children" just as an excuse to do nothing.Another stay at home mum down the school I talked to on a sports day told me that she has 8 children. Silly me thought: "The husband must have great job to support his large family." I know it is hard sometime with 3 kids.
Would anyone like to guess what the answer was to my question what hubby 
does for a living? N O T H I N G
He used to be a car mechanic but has now got a bad back and can not work anymore. Whenever I see him being late to pick the kids up from school he is running rather nicely down the road. It does not look like that he is in any major pain that should prevent him from working.

Surley as an healthy adult you would want to support yourself and your family yourself. And who gives them the right to think that they are so special and deserve to get everything for free. If I want children than I have to think about how I am going to pay for them as well. My opinion anyway !!

RANT OVER


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

It must be hard for single parents to go out working and paying child care costs, but what annoys me or more to the point stumps me is why a mum gets benefits when she has a partner working, we never did there wasnt such things, so what they get in benefits should go to paying the child care costs for the children of single parents, that way the single parent has a better chance of working and less paid out in benefits.


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

Well, I am that single mother who is affected by this change...

I had to go the job centre, basically they move you from IS to JSA.. no massive change..

I have been looking for work for months, had interviews, had no replies of most... I had an interview for a part time job. 40 people were interviewd for that single job.. that should give some of you an idea how tough it is right now...

I'm also sick of the sweeping statements on here about single parents, using the word 'some' before your generaliation does not make it ok..

I also love hearing... 'my parter/husband and I work such long hours and WE never get any help....' oh how I would love to have a nuclear family unit, not stuck on my own, with no job, in a council house..

I think I said this a few pages back and no one seems to give a ****. Just carry on with your tarring of single mums eh


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

haeveymolly said:


> It must be hard for single parents to go out working and paying child care costs, but what annoys me or more to the point stumps me is why a mum gets benefits when she has a partner working, we never did there wasnt such things, so what they get in benefits should go to paying the child care costs for the children of single parents, that way the single parent has a better chance of working and less paid out in benefits.


The job centre worked out how much better off Id be if i could find a job.... £60

Now, guess where that extra £60 would go!? is it any wonder people don't see the point


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## shazalhasa (Jul 21, 2009)

100% totally agree with last two posts and I feel the same, it does p!$$ me right off when part of my earnings go to pay for these useless lazy people.

I'm not going to claim that I've never been on benefits, I have due to ill health but in the last 23 years have spent a total of 18 months on benefits... it was horrible, boring and soooo depressing  I'm not sure I buy the 'can't find work' excuse either, I set up working for myself when I couldn't find anything else suitable and have been doing so for the last 3 years or more, it's like Swarthy said, it's about having pride in yourself.

There are a few people around this way that make me wonder how and why... one woman with 3 kids, all different dads, never been married but "unofficially" lives with the dad of the youngest kid, in a 3 bed council house. This house has so far been kitted out with all new windows and doors and not cheap ones either, decking and canopy out the back, totally revamped kitchen/diner with all the extra's, huge flat screen tv's in both downstairs rooms and the kids all have very expensive xmas / birthday pressies each year and parties almost every weekend. I used to wonder where all the money was coming from for this constant spending cos the bloke doesn't have that good a job  it wasn't nice and it wasn't legal :scared: What kind of message is that sending out to the 3 kids :confused1:


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## WelshOneEmma (Apr 11, 2009)

Tink82 said:


> Well, I am that single mother who is affected by this change...
> 
> I had to go the job centre, basically they move you from IS to JSA.. no massive change..
> 
> ...


This is the point though, you ARE already looking for work and not sitting around on your ass expecting everyone else to pay for you. Thats the sort of people this thing is aimed at, not people like you looking for work.

With regards to people's comments on childcare costs, i think there is a major disconnect, the costs should be proportional, but they seem stupidly high. Benefits should be a last resort and be the bare minimum.


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

Tink82 said:


> I also love hearing... 'my parter/husband and I work such long hours and WE never get any help....' oh how I would love to have a nuclear family unit, not stuck on my own, with no job, in a council house..
> 
> I think I said this a few pages back and no one seems to give a ****. Just carry on with your tarring of single mums eh[/COLOR]


Have you actually bothered reading ANY of the posts - MANY are by - surprise, surprise, SINGLE MOTHERS - of which I was one until my daughter was 11. I left a violent relationship when my daughter was 3 weeks old and lived on my uppers for a number of years WORKING - often the choice was between feeding myself or paying a bill.

I had a housing association house - I used to carry a bucket and mop in my car (which cost £50) to mop out the rain - my daughter sat on plastic bags to keep her bum dry - I left it on the hill at the end of the road for it to start in winter.

My floors were concrete, my stairs wooden my TV was a black and white portable sitting on a box and my chairs were DECKCHAIRS - my washing machine started by hammering the motor every time I used it - I was the ONLY person in the whole street working (Three part-time jobs and a full-time degree) and the ONLY household with no carpets, no colour TV and no Sky, and the oldest car by a mile.......................

I wouldn't change one single thing of what I went through - it was character building of the most extroardinary nature - they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. - 4 years after that - my daughter moved from private childcare to private school and I bought MY home ON MY OWN - I worked d*mned hard to achieve what I did and was then fortunate to meet my partner who took my daughter as his own and supported all my hopes and dreams - and has continued to do so through the good times and the bad - but YEP - sorry - I know ALL about being on my own


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

Tink82 said:


> The job centre worked out how much better off Id be if i could find a job.... £60
> 
> Now, guess where that extra £60 would go!? is it any wonder people don't see the point


The job centre didn't need to work out how much better off I was working than not working - I was WORSE off - but it was about pride not money


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## jen50 (Dec 23, 2009)

swarthy said:


> but it was about pride not money


If everybody could just feel like you !!! :thumbup:


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

shazalhasa said:


> I'm not sure I buy the 'can't find work' excuse either


er, because there isn't any! people are being made redundent left right and centre.. everyone is scrambling for jobs..


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

swarthy said:


> Have you actually bothered reading ANY of the posts - MANY are by - surprise, surprise, SINGLE MOTHERS - of which I was one until my daughter was 11.


er, yeah I read them thanks.. generally bashing the single ones tha are not employed.

I worked from when my daughter was 18m old, she was in childcare every single day. Even after I split with my husband I carried on working. it is only in the las two years I have not worked as I have been in educatioon to get BETTER qualifications to get a BETTER paid job so we can lead easier and more fulfilling lives. I have motivation and drive to succeed and do well in whatever I do, but right now, there are no jobs. The few that there are, are jumped on by dozens of people

but hey, I loved sitting in the job cenre holding back tears as my ego and pride where so bashed, it is so much easier than working isn't it


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

Tink82 said:


> er, yeah I read them thanks.. generally bashing the single ones tha are not employed.
> 
> I worked from when my daughter was 18m old, she was in childcare every single day. Even after I split with my husband I carried on working. it is only in the las two years I have not worked as I have been in educatioon to get BETTER qualifications to get a BETTER paid job so we can lead easier and more fulfilling lives. I have motivation and drive to succeed and do well in whatever I do, but right now, there are no jobs. The few that there are, are jumped on by dozens of people
> 
> but hey, I loved sitting in the job cenre holding back tears as my ego and pride where so bashed, it is so much easier than working isn't it


I spent pretty much 12 years at Uni while working - I worked right through my HND, Degree, Masters AND teacher training - and I didn't set foot in a Job centre ONCE.

I DO know what it is like to sit in a job agency every single morning until they give you a contract role to get rid of you - I had NO qualifications before I went to Uni - I taught myself to use a computer, to type, to do accounting, to produce educational work and a whole host more - in over 20 years I've had permanent jobs for around 4 of those and worked from temp to temp contract - trawling every single agency in a 100 mile radius to make sure I worked.

I've worked away from home for months at a time when my daughter was older - and done 20 hours days to make sure I could eat - so YES - I know exactly what it is like to raise a child alone, be penniless, be desperate for ANY work they can give you - which over the years has ranged from basically shovelling sh*t as a kennel maid to becoming a top level manager within both private industry and the civil service.


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## shazalhasa (Jul 21, 2009)

Quote:
Originally Posted by *shazalhasa*  
_I'm not sure I buy the 'can't find work' excuse either_



Tink82 said:


> er, because there isn't any! people are being made redundent left right and centre.. everyone is scrambling for jobs..


I do get so frustrated when people just pick out the bit that suits ... this is the full quote...



shazalhasa said:


> I'm not sure I buy the 'can't find work' excuse either, I set up working for myself when I couldn't find anything else suitable and have been doing so for the last 3 years or more...


If I hadn't been able to turn a hobby into a job then I would have found something else just to make sure that I was able to put food on our plates and help set the right example for my daughter. I don't want her growing up thinking that when she leaves school all she has to do is have kids and live off the social


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## staceydawlz (Jun 8, 2009)

i see nothing wrong with single parents working i worked most of the time since leaving school at 15/16 im now 20 and most probably in what you would call in a dead end job...but a job is a job it pays the bills yes i only work 20 hours a week but a job is a job no matter what it pays if it were an option i would work more hours but there are no spare hours going at the minute...some of u know my partner was paid off his 3 year job in march which was a blow but we got through it and at the moment he has a job (part time and xmas temp) but its something!! hes applied for many jobs now with not as much as a reply but hes trying hard because if he isnt kept on at this job we will struggle even more its hard enough as it is we are yound parents but my pride is a big thing to me and also tryin to set a good example for my daughter i do buy in some cases "i cant find work as like i said my partner was off work from march till begining november but those who are just too lazy there is no need!! why should we pay for you to live?! answer that!!!
edit: my mum has often been a life saver many times dont know where i would be without her!! at the minute im struggling "nothing new there" she and my gran has found out and she has bought me a £50 shop my gran got me £20 gas ... i HATE asking for help!! and hte getting it! dont get me wrong i am so so greatfull and apreciate all the help they give me but i feel i made my bed i should lie in it iv got a daughter i should be providing etc ....my familys great i really would be lost without their love care help and advice!! so how the hell you dole scroungers can sit back and just scrounge off everyone else i dont know!! it would kill me to be on benifits all my life!


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## newfiesmum (Apr 21, 2010)

ClaireLily said:


> I too expect lone parents to look for work when their youngest child starts school. It's called supporting your children and is something I thought every parent felt quite strongly about.
> 
> My mum's a single parent and worked part time as far back as I can remember, she went full time when my youngest sibling went to school, I thought this was normal?!


No. Normal is to stay on benefits as long as possible and if the youngest starts school so they have to find work, they will just go have another one. The neighbours of someone I know are both university graduates with two children and have never done a day's work in their lives because they want their children to have mummy and daddy at home with them. We are all supposed to think they are being very noble, but I don't know if their graduate brains can work out who is paying for it. I would love to see people like this told to get off their ar*ses and earn their own living.


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## Tink82 (Mar 22, 2009)

shazalhasa said:


> Quote:
> Originally Posted by *shazalhasa*
> _I'm not sure I buy the 'can't find work' excuse either_
> 
> ...


because the rest of that puts it ino context  it made no difference to what you jus said


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## kirksandallchins (Nov 3, 2007)

People who are working normally have no option but to return to work before the baby is a year old, when Maternity Pay ends

I agree with lone parents having to look for work when their kids reach school age - but it needs to be combined with a Tax Credit/benefit system that does not give claimants extra money for every child they have. Otherwise some will keep on reproducing to avoid work.

Maybe the state should pay for no more than 2 children to avoid people being better off on benefits than at work.


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

kirksandallchins said:


> Maybe the state should pay for no more than 2 children to avoid people being better off on benefits than at work.


While I suspect my views on benefits culture, single parents and working are more than clear  - when we start thinking like that - we are at very high risk of moving to state controlled measures on family sizes - that's what the chinese do!!! and we know what happens to some of their kids when they go out to work  or if they break the rules in terms of having more children than permitted.

The state absolutely MUST provide a safety net - that I believe is without question - how do you distinguish and determine between then who would be eligible to have support for three children and who wouldn't? what would happen to the third and subsequent children? put them into care - a MUCH bigger strain on the tax-payers finances - and not necessarily going to a better life 

Some people lose their jobs throuh no fault of their own - and pride can take a hit - this can lead to depression and very real problems - the answer is to get back out to work - but the depression prevents this - catch 22 situation.

I think we would be failing as a society if we didn't do our utmost to protect the most vulnerable - i.e. the young.

Educaiton and training has to be one key to changing generations of benefits culture - people need to have a feeling of self worth and a belief that they are capable of working in a worthwhile role. Some people believe they lack the intelligence - my belief is that pretty much EVERYONE has a talent - that may not be academic - but then if everyone was academically orientated - the world would be a much less rich place.

I inherited a member of staff who was good at her job - but had no real ability to stretch herself or think outside the box in any way - BUT - my god, this lady had two talents that I could only dream about - I won't say what they were because it would be wrong if someone could identify her - but safe to say - what she lacked in academic ability - she made up for a thousand times over with her more creative skills - it's a shame really she didn't have the business skills to exploit it - or she would have been one very rich lady.

I HATED school with a vengeance - at 11 years old I was tipped for Oxbridge - but I rebelled - I hated studying and everything that went with it - and badly let both myself and my family down. 10 years on, daughter in tow, I stumbled across an area that fascinated me - where I could use my working career to do something with - business (sad I know) - but I adored every single minute of my studies and now have an interest in subjects that at school I felt were a complete waste of time. I have a real thirst for knowledge around IT and Business and waste no opportunity to learn.

EVERYONE has that - whether it's a talent they don't realise they have, or subject matter they don't yet recognise - someone somewhere needs to foster this in benefit communities and give people back their self belief and recognition of self worth.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

swarthy said:


> There are too many families stuck in a benefits trap that continues from generation to generation - I had a baby young out of wedlock - but wild horses wouldn't have dragged me down to the level of many others around me. At the end of the day, it's not about money, it's about pride in yourself and wanting to do the best for your family so that happily, they can have pride in themselves.


 
Respect to you, rep would be coming your way but it says Ive given you too much already! I was talking about it last night as it happens to my OH, as we were evaluating our lives after reading something on facebook. If I was single and had a child, Id be at work. Id feel sh** otherwise. 




Tink82 said:


> I also love hearing... 'my parter/husband and I work such long hours and WE never get any help....' oh how I would love to have a nuclear family unit, not stuck on my own, with no job, in a council house..




Youre looking for work, are you not? That and your above statement indicates to me you dont like it anymore than I do. 

And I love hearing how hard done by everyone else is, and how they cant find a job. Also this excuse about not having jobs out there REALLY doesnt wash with me. My OH was unemployed and he applied for awful jobs and ended up temping at Clinton Cards last Christmas JUST to get some money in. He hated it but he hated being on the dole more. There is work out there, there is always work out there, because not matter how bad society is doing at the moment, there are things that people NEED doing. 

A quick search on the job section of my local paper has thrown up 35 different jobs ranging from part time to full time, youre telling me theres NOTHING out there?! 

Sorry, but its the way I feel and make no apologies for it. I wouldnt be entitled to any help, and Id be working to support my family. Do I not deserve it as much as anyone else? 

Im not bashing single mums at all, in fact I admire them as I dont know Id have the strength to manage on my own with children, who I am bashing are those ones that are content to sit on their arse, and do feck all because they can. 



Tink82 said:


> The job centre worked out how much better off Id be if i could find a job.... £60
> 
> Now, guess where that extra £60 would go!? is it any wonder people don't see the point




And there is the point. Its a sad state of affairs when its better for someone to be on benefits than it is to be in a paid job. And £60 to me is a lot of money to be honest. It would pay my heating/leccy for a month.




shazalhasa said:


> This house has so far been kitted out with all new windows and doors and not cheap ones either, decking and canopy out the back, totally revamped kitchen/diner with all the extra's, huge flat screen tv's in both downstairs rooms and the kids all have very expensive xmas / birthday pressies each year and parties almost every weekend. I used to wonder where all the money was coming from for this constant spending





Dont even get me started. Ive recently had to give up my horse for financial reasons. He was getting on a bit as well and I couldnt afford to keep him the way he was so it was a mutual decision, however one of the girls at our year, fits into the category you hace mentioned shazalhasa! Her mum has 3 different kids, none of them have the same father, yet she can afford to pay for ALL 3 OF THEM to keep horses!??!

So yeah, it pees me off. Pees me off a lot. Especially when I read about some poor little old lady who was worked all her life, yet cant afford to have her heating on, due to the lack of help from the council!!!! Or those that care for someone with an illness full time, not getting enough to live with! 

The Gment should take a long, hard look at itself. They have created this welfare state, and its a sorry state of affairs when someone is better off staying off work than they are in employment. Benefits for single mums should be turned into vouchers IMHO. For childcare, school equipment and the like. That would soon weedle those that need them out from those that dont.


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## Cockerpoo lover (Oct 15, 2009)

I think the whole benefit system need a radical shake up not just the single mothers element.

I have worked in the past with the long-term unemployed from 18 years old plus and this also included single mothers and people with disabilities. The majority of them did not want to work and were happy claiming.

Most people hate the unfairness of it all. Genuine claimants we all can see need help but there are a lot of people milking the system. I also feel sorry for those widowed or who have had to leave due to domestic violence. They do need our support.

I don't think money should be given for child benefits but vouchers for food for children and clothes or baby equipment. That way you know it is going on the child. There should be large warehouses with stock of donations from companies and individuals of baby equipment etc... that those really struggling could use.

If people didn't get money/houses etc.. then this may stop a lot of them churning out kids just to milk the system.


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

i wish it was possible and even obligatory to work for own kids...

Would like to be back to work soon...but here they are not keen on part time/job sharing - and no way i can stay till 6pm ..my husband works, I never asked for anything from state...but would clap any innitiative that allows part time fro mothers...I can do 10 to 2pm and then collect the kids...I can do &-11pm... or work from home , i applied fro a joband during the final online exam my router failed!!!!

_ can only work when my kids are at school or husband is back home...in Scandinavia there lots of offers for mums like me, but not in Gib.._


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## buffington (Nov 6, 2010)

Im not a single parent but unforunatly unemployed at the moment due to a falied house sale (was moving over 100 miles away) We have no kiddies but barely receive any help from the government. as house is still on market we are willing to do any temp work until huse sold but nothing down here. What makes me szo mad is when we sign on we see thesed single parents in designer clothing posh mobile phones one time we were waiting and one girl (no older then 19) and her BF bragging about a new hi def telly they got. We struggle barely living while these scroungers get everything they need weve cut down on everything no sky my molbile is incoming only (cant pay bill) no house phone use car aS LITTLE AS POSS and we still barely live. Me thinks priorities are all wrong.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

kirksandallchins said:


> People who are working normally have no option but to return to work before the baby is a year old, when Maternity Pay ends.


At our place we get 6 weeks full pay, inclusive of SMP, 12 weeks 'adjusted' pay, exclusive of pentions and stuff, and then 21 weeks of SMP. Anything after 39 weeks is unpaid.

I'd have no alternative but to go back after the 18 weeks, I doubt the SMP would be enough for us to live off.


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## kazzy (Oct 13, 2010)

I think it is a really good idea, too many people get stuck in a rut. I should know from experience. I became a single mum and not through choice, and after working for 10 years it wasn't easy. The government at the time made it easier to stay at home and claim income support. I tried going back to work when my daughter was 2 and it was more hassle and i was worse off. I ended up staying at home for the next 5 years stuck in a rut. It wasn't until i went back to college to better my grades and qualify for a decent job that i would like to do and with better pay. It's great that they are supporting parents through tax credits. What better satisfaction that your paying your way in society. Now i have a job i love have been able to buy my house and now my daughter knows you have to do well in school to better your life. I just wish i had the opportunity at the start. At least government are saying when your child reaches school age whats wrong with that, many parents can't afford that opportunity and have to return to work by the time there child is 3 months.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

kazzy said:


> At least government are saying when your child reaches school age whats wrong with that, many parents can't afford that opportunity and have to return to work by the time there child is 3 months.


And that's my point. I won't get any help if I want to stay at home until my child is at school, I'd be back after 12 weeks, 29 at most if I can afford to live off half pay.


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

swarthy said:


> While I suspect my views on benefits culture, single parents and working are more than clear  - when we start thinking like that - we are at very high risk of moving to state controlled measures on family sizes - that's what the chinese do!!! and we know what happens to some of their kids when they go out to work  or if they break the rules in terms of having more children than permitted.
> 
> The state absolutely MUST provide a safety net - that I believe is without question - how do you distinguish and determine between then who would be eligible to have support for three children and who wouldn't? what would happen to the third and subsequent children? put them into care - a MUCH bigger strain on the tax-payers finances - and not necessarily going to a better life
> 
> ...


Fantastic post


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

swarthy said:


> The job centre didn't need to work out how much better off I was working than not working - I was WORSE off - but it was about pride not money


*And there lies the biggest problem imo,people no longer have that pride.All the time they can get handouts just for producing yet another child nothing will change.*


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

JANICE199 said:


> *And there lies the biggest problem imo,people no longer have that pride.All the time they can get handouts just for producing yet another child nothing will change.*


The all too ready handouts have taken that pride away jan ime afraid. I decided i didnt want to go back to work when i had mine and a few years before when we bought our first house we took one that we could afford on one wage as we knew i would stay at home if we ever had children, that had to be done because there was no such thing as benefits for deciding to be a stay at home mum. I know i wasnt a single parent so a little different, the genuine ones i feel for on threads/discussions in the media etc but also feel something has to be done for the nine genuine ones that use the system so not to work, dont really know the right answer.


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

haeveymolly said:


> The all too ready handouts have taken that pride away jan ime afraid. I decided i didnt want to go back to work when i had mine and a few years before when we bought our first house we took one that we could afford on one wage as we knew i would stay at home if we ever had children, that had to be done because there was no such thing as benefits for deciding to be a stay at home mum. I know i wasnt a single parent so a little different, the genuine ones i feel for on threads/discussions in the media etc but also feel something has to be done for the nine genuine ones that use the system so not to work, dont really know the right answer.


*The answer is plain and simple imo,for a start i would be telling all these young unmarried mothers that the state will not be paying for any children they have.Then i would make it a priority to get the fathers to pay for kids that are left for just mums to raise.*


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

very true....I say if not full time - then part time should be avaiable...at least 20 hours a week - that a mum could manage?

other thing is - time out then kids are sick etc...school holidays, in service- which can be covered later on - like u get time out - must give it back asap u can...my big problem is this - what if anyone is sick - it is not possible to send them to school...but cnt stay home alone...this term already i had at least one sick - for about three weeks...? what then? who is gonna keep me if I will not turnnup/ ok, I am not a single mum, but there are no flexi jobs around? ...what if i became single ? just fate? or my husband was not well?

....problem is - there are widows too...never planned to live on handouts...or loose the only breadwinner to illness...


difficult to put everybody in the same barrell...


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

I think they should go back to work when the kids are at school. But if it's to work the government would have to make more part time jobs available that are flexible enough for parents. It would help boost the economy as well because they would be getting more taxes from the single parents. Then again how many single parents would go along and say yes I applied to this place and this place, never actually bothering to, and then just get handed the money. It's far too easy to do


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

cheekyscrip said:


> difficult to put everybody in the same barrell...


This is true, but sorry, maybe I am harsh. Being a widow must be awful, but still if I was in that position I'd have to look for work to provide. If you had no children you wouldn't just quit work and live off the dole if your partner died would you? Or if your partner died and you were a stay at home wife, would you continue to stay at home or have to go out and get a job?

Regarding illnesses, would grandparents not be able to look after their children if they are ill? or friends of the family? Mine did when we were sick and my parents were at work.

And people seem to be forgetting that they are talking about WHEN THE YOUNGEST CHILD IS BACK AT SCHOOL, not straight away. I won't have the luxury of waiting this long, unless my OH can provide for us, which I very much doubt.

Once a child is at school, childcare becomes a lot less of an issue, surely? :confused1:

I think it is a great idea, but the G'ment seriously need to look at themselves to make it work. They can't just make jobs available, but what they can do is make employers give a better deal to parents as a whole with regards to flexi start/finish times, sickness days should your dependant be ill (i know our place will give you a 3 lots of dependancy leave, should a dependant, be that child, wife, parent need you to care for them) , and I don't just mean single ones either, as why should other parents be discriminated against?

G'ment should also make childcare readily available like schools for those people that need an hour or so in the morning and an hour or so in the evening as well.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

JANICE199 said:


> *The answer is plain and simple imo,for a start i would be telling all these young unmarried mothers that the state will not be paying for any children they have.Then i would make it a priority to get the fathers to pay for kids that are left for just mums to raise.*


Yep agree, what annoys me is how many "single" parents, arnt "single" parents i know many that claim all the benefits of a single parent who have a working partner they just sacrifice being together full time as that ive learnt is "allowed" i think its something like 2 or 3 nights and if found to be there any longer the benefits as a single person stops. The loops holes that they seen to be able to crawl through very easily.


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## JANICE199 (Feb 1, 2008)

haeveymolly said:


> Yep agree, what annoys me is how many "single" parents, arnt "single" parents i know many that claim all the benefits of a single parent who have a working partner they just sacrifice being together full time as that ive learnt is "allowed" i think its something like 2 or 3 nights and if found to be there any longer the benefits as a single person stops. The loops holes that they seen to be able to crawl through very easily.


*When i was childminding,the woman who's little girl i looked after claimed she was a single parent,she got all the benifits you could think of.Her hubby was actualy a long distance lorry driver.*


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Horse and Hound said:


> This is true, but sorry, maybe I am harsh. Being a widow must be awful, but still if I was in that position I'd have to look for work to provide. If you had no children you wouldn't just quit work and live off the dole if your partner died would you? Or if your partner died and you were a stay at home wife, would you continue to stay at home or have to go out and get a job?
> 
> Regarding illnesses, would grandparents not be able to look after their children if they are ill? or friends of the family? Mine did when we were sick and my parents were at work.
> 
> ...


I actually didnt go back to work when mine were young but did when they were still young enough for me to be there for them when ill etc i actually worked, juggled 5 children (2 being my own) with my husband working away he has for years so in effect as in help i was like a single parent, it sounds very daunting but it works out easier than you imagine, yes 5 children was hard work and it wasnt full time just daytimes but it can be done, it had to be done because there was no hand outs if i didnt.


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## harrysmum03 (Nov 5, 2010)

i left school at 16 with no qualifications and went straight into a job and haven't been out of work since, i have 5 children now had the eldest when i was 19 and was only out of work for 7 months when i got a job on the tube, i worked shifts, weekends, bank holidays, xmas eve at gone midnight (technically xmas day) new yrs eve, new yrs day, kids school holidays and i did that for over 7yrs until my 5th child was born and we were finacially able for me to give up work, it just wasnt financiably viable for me to work with 5 children but my husband supports us. what i have noticed tho is that most people who have kids and expect the tax payer to support them often had the same upbringing. i think the government is right to make parents work for their own kids, why should hard working people pay for them, u may not be better of but surely it'll give u some pride knowing you've not been a complete ponce and show your kids some pride too.


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## harrysmum03 (Nov 5, 2010)

would just like to point out i was a single parent for 3 yrs out of the 7 when i worked on the tube


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

harrysmum03 said:


> i left school at 16 with no qualifications and went straight into a job and haven't been out of work since, i have 5 children now had the eldest when i was 19 and was only out of work for 7 months when i got a job on the tube, i worked shifts, weekends, bank holidays, xmas eve at gone midnight (technically xmas day) new yrs eve, new yrs day, kids school holidays and i did that for over 7yrs until my 5th child was born and we were finacially able for me to give up work, it just wasnt financiably viable for me to work with 5 children but my husband supports us. what i have noticed tho is that most people who have kids and expect the tax payer to support them often had the same upbringing. i think the government is right to make parents work for their own kids, why should hard working people pay for them, u may not be better of but surely it'll give u some pride knowing you've not been a complete ponce and show your kids some pride too.


I think you are spot on when you say they often have to same upbringing, this is all they know so if nothing else people should do it to break that cycle of no work just benefits.


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## shazalhasa (Jul 21, 2009)

haeveymolly said:


> Yep agree, what annoys me is how many "single" parents, arnt "single" parents i know many that claim all the benefits of a single parent who have a working partner they just sacrifice being together full time as that ive learnt is "allowed" i think its something like 2 or 3 nights and if found to be there any longer the benefits as a single person stops. The loops holes that they seen to be able to crawl through very easily.


While I agree that someone who's partner works away during the week shouldn't be classed as a single mother, it's not fair or right to suggest that a single mother who see's her boyfriend 2 or 3 nights a week is somehow just doing it to work some kind of fiddle or loop hole. There could be many reasons or situations that prevent them from living together 

btw... a 'partner' is defined as someone that you live with as a husband or wife. A woman who's husband or 'partner' works away during the week shouldn't class herself as a single mother. This isn't the same as a woman who's boyfriend happens to stay over a couple of nights a week


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

I knew a "single mum" who's husband lived with them full time for years. No idea how they did it but it was just for benefits


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## Toneeh (Nov 25, 2010)

I've always wanted to work, ive never wanted benefits (I'm 18 and in full time education) But now that im a bit older and work will be calling soon, i realise how HARD it is to get a job. Everyone is fighting for a job and theres just no space for people with kids or full time education. When the school holidays come, how are mums/dad meant to work? Pay for a babysitter? Then all you money will be going on that. How are people meant to get a job when they say ' Oh, yeah, and if you hire me, i can't work Saturdays, Sundays, Bank Holidays, School holidays and the summer, or christmas. Sorry but i have kids' How would that look? I don't even have kids and i think this new law is stupid. i mean, most parents would want to work, just to get back to normalcy, but people wont hire you if you cant work proper times? 
Obviously, for some people this wouldn't be an issue as family would look after them(Like in our house, my Gf mum works full time and we look after her little sister on the days she works) but sometimes, there is no Family. And sometimes working barely covers the basic needs of a family, never mind childcare :/


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## Cleo38 (Jan 22, 2010)

Toneeh said:


> I've always wanted to work, ive never wanted benefits (I'm 18 and in full time education) But now that im a bit older and work will be calling soon, i realise how HARD it is to get a job. Everyone is fighting for a job and theres just no space for people with kids or full time education. When the school holidays come, how are mums/dad meant to work? Pay for a babysitter? Then all you money will be going on that. How are people meant to get a job when they say ' Oh, yeah, and if you hire me, i can't work Saturdays, Sundays, Bank Holidays, School holidays and the summer, or christmas. Sorry but i have kids' How would that look? I don't even have kids and i think this new law is stupid. i mean, most parents would want to work, just to get back to normalcy, but people wont hire you if you cant work proper times?
> They really need to think before they start changing things. Grr. My sister has five kids, and she worked part time, (She has a new born now so she isnt) But even though her kids were in school, she couldn't work full time as she needed to get them to and from school. :/


Most people who are my age who work have kids & they seem to manage, it might be a struggle but that's what happens when you have children.

Sorry but why should you paid to sit at home doing nothing? Benefits are there for people in times of need which I have nothing against but to simply stay on benefits because 'it's not worth working' is no arguement.

I realise that some times situations change & people suffer job losses, etc but I can't understand why people who are already on benefits then have another child (especially those that have large families already), if you can't afford to support your family then why keeping adding to it?


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

Cleo38 said:


> Most people who are my age who work have kids & they seem to manage, it might be a struggle but that's what happens when you have children.
> 
> Sorry but why should you paid to sit at home doing nothing? Benefits are there for people in times of need which I have nothing against but to simply stay on benefits because 'it's not worth working' is no arguement.
> 
> I realise that some times situations change & people suffer job losses, etc but I can't understand why people who are already on benefits then have another child (especially those that have large families already), if you can't afford to support your family then why keeping adding to it?


I do agree with this.

Also schools are duty bound now to offer affordable before and after school cover and holiday clubs are everywhere which families on low incomes will receive finacial help with.

Some of the children i look after have 70% of their childcare costs subsidised so although childcare is very expensive it shouldn't stop people going back to work.


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

Cleo38 said:


> Most people who are my age who work have kids & they seem to manage, it might be a struggle but that's what happens when you have children.
> 
> Sorry but why should you paid to sit at home doing nothing? Benefits are there for people in times of need which I have nothing against but to simply stay on benefits because 'it's not worth working' is no arguement.
> 
> I realise that some times situations change & people suffer job losses, etc but I can't understand why people who are already on benefits then have another child (especially those that have large families already), if you can't afford to support your family then why keeping adding to it?


Totally agree.


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## Toneeh (Nov 25, 2010)

I agree that people should work, definitely. If they can actually work, then get up and do it. But i do understand that sometimes it is very hard for them to work and the government should think of all the scenarios before making new laws/legislation. Also, Would they HAVE to get a job, or just be actively searching. Like it's job seekers? when they give you a interview and you get a job, and then you go off benefits? Well, would they need to go to the interview, and if the employer actually said, 'oh your timing isn't right..Blah blah,' would they still be allowed benefits or does it just get cut off when they haven't got a job? Do they HAVE to get one, or just look? Sorry if you can't understand me, i can't word it right.
I think, that maybe if so many people weren't cheating benefits, then maybe it would be okay, but there's so many people ruining their chances to get to work. Saying they are ill, when they are not or just having a baby to be on benefits. 
My aunt and mum both have a conditions which make them not work. My dad worked his whole life, and recently (After an accident), he needs crutches, and leg pins and stuff to even get up, so he's actually been told he's not allowed to work. My dad hates this as he hates the idea of other people paying for him. Now these i understand, as they couldn't be in a job, where as i know people who just can not be bothered to work. this is lazy and i think they should find a way to stop this at all costs. 
But yeah, i think that if single mums should be helped to get a job, but if they actually can't, they should find some way to get them off.

Sorry if i went off topic. i ramble


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## shazalhasa (Jul 21, 2009)

Nicky10 said:


> I knew a "single mum" who's husband lived with them full time for years. No idea how they did it but it was just for benefits


I also know someone who's claiming to be a single mother for benefits even though her partner of 10 years lives with her in the same way a married couple would live together. All of his money goes to her, they have 1 child together but his name isn't on the birth certificate just so that the CSA won't chase him


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

shazalhasa said:


> While I agree that someone who's partner works away during the week shouldn't be classed as a single mother, it's not fair or right to suggest that a single mother who see's her boyfriend 2 or 3 nights a week is somehow just doing it to work some kind of fiddle or loop hole. There could be many reasons or situations that prevent them from living together
> 
> btw... a 'partner' is defined as someone that you live with as a husband or wife. A woman who's husband or 'partner' works away during the week shouldn't class herself as a single mother. This isn't the same as a woman who's boyfriend happens to stay over a couple of nights a week


No i agree with you and i by no means say they all do this i wrote this as i know and know of couples that actually do this they wont live together full time because she will lose her benefits thats the choice they have made.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Nicky10 said:


> I knew a "single mum" who's husband lived with them full time for years. No idea how they did it but it was just for benefits


Yes it happens a lot and some are lucky no one actually informs the benefit office they do get away with it.


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## Toneeh (Nov 25, 2010)

I actually know someone who got caught! i laughed.


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

haeveymolly said:


> Yes it happens a lot and some are lucky no one actually informs the benefit office they do get away with it.


I used to know several people who did this. Hubbies were raking it in doing cash in hand building type jobs and OHs were claiming every benefit available to a single parent 

And then people wonder why we are in the mess we are and those that genuinely need to be on benefits will suffer as a result 

Thats what makes me mad. I believe in the welfare state and have no issue contributing towards it and i hate the thought that genuine cases will get caught up in this legislation and will suffer as a result purely because of the greedy and/or bone idle


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

Someone finally reported them I believe it was good to see


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

It always makes me wonder how many single and couples would work, juggle a family "if" there were no benefits available to them for staying at home.


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## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

I'm sure a lot would. Benefits have to be there for when they're genuinely needed of course but for people that fill in a form saying yes I applied for this and that job once a month and don't actually do anything then they shouldn't be getting them


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## Toneeh (Nov 25, 2010)

To be honest, i think a lot of young girls are part of the problem. I know i'm going to sound like im preaching or whatever, but i'm 18 and i have a LOAD of friends with kids, and none work or go college. I think if you want a family? Work for it. Luckily(Lol) I'm with a girl and if i ever wanted kids? i'd have to have a steady job and my own home and be in a committed relationship. Other wise no adoption for us. I think that you should think before you have kids if you're young because you're not the one who will be paying for it. Some people want kids, i get that, but i really think they should have a steady job before even thinking about babies. :/ Oh, and all the people i know don't have relationships with the dad, so they are single mums.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Toneeh said:


> To be honest, i think a lot of young girls are part of the problem. I know i'm going to sound like im preaching or whatever, but i'm 18 and i have a LOAD of friends with kids, and none work or go college. I think if you want a family? Work for it. Luckily(Lol) I'm with a girl and if i ever wanted kids? i'd have to have a steady job and my own home and be in a committed relationship. Other wise no adoption for us. I think that you should think before you have kids if you're young because you're not the one who will be paying for it. Some people want kids, i get that, but i really think they should have a steady job before even thinking about babies. :/ Oh, and all the people i know don't have relationships with the dad, so they are single mums.


Pleasing to hear this sadly there arnt that many around at 18 that think this way i could bet, rep for you:thumbup: and you are right having children should be something that has been thought about,discussed and afforded without the need for handouts from what i hear very often its not the lack of money that they discuss its "how much" £££££ signs that tips the scales.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

Toneeh said:


> Oh, yeah, and if you hire me, i can't work Saturdays, Sundays, Bank Holidays, School holidays and the summer, or christmas. Sorry but i have kids' How would that look? I don't even have kids and i think this new law is stupid. i mean, most parents would want to work, just to get back to normalcy, but people wont hire you if you cant work proper times?


Same way my parents, their parents, my friends parents all bloody managed it. My mum took to working in a chippy 4 nights a week so that she was working in the evenings when my dad was home from work. A few years later she worked in a pub for a few nights a week.

This is what I mean, we wouldn't be having this dispute if there was no benefit system. People wouldn't have a choice BUT to work.


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## Toneeh (Nov 25, 2010)

Exactly. I'd want to give our kids the best i can, and i know working, that i have the possibility to do this. Also, it's setting an example for whatever kids you have, that its good to work for what you get. To be honest, I'd rather have a ferret than a kid, but still, I'd want to be working with a pet, for health and stuff, never mind a kid! 
I know sometimes when you have the baby, you are in a relationship with someone who works and would provide for the family, but sometimes this doesn't last and i do think the government should at least introduce the law in slowly so that parents can adapt? I dont know how but i think the sudden change would make everything chaos. :S
But i think that some politicians should take some time and actually live how other people live, just to really get a grip on what we need as people, and if they can do it, fair enough, but if not, at least they'd have an idea what to do and such. i think it would make a good tv show. And also, if we scrap the benefits, what about disability? People who cant work need benefits now? or should we make them work? i do agree parents should work, but i dont agree benefits should be scrapped.

Edit: Also, if you work part time, you can still claim benefits. So The whole point of making them work would be useless as they would still be paid by the government. i think you have to work more than 16-18 hours a week to not get paid? anyone know the amount?


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

Toneeh said:


> Exactly. I'd want to give our kids the best i can, and i know working, that i have the possibility to do this. Also, it's setting an example for whatever kids you have, that its good to work for what you get. To be honest, i'd rather have a ferret than a kid, but still, i'd want to be working with a pet, for health and stuff, never mind a kid!
> I know sometimes when you have the baby, you are in a relationship with someone who works and would provide for the family, but sometimes this doesnt last and i do think the government should atleast introduce the law in slowly so that parents can adapt? I dont know how but i think the sudden change would make everything chaos. :S


They are introducing the law to say that once your YOUNGEST child is back in school you have to LOOK FOR A JOB! They are not expecting you to jump into a job straight off, merely to show intent, which is frankly in my opinnion not enough but thats by the by.

I am getting married next year and we would love NOTHING more than to start a family straight off but we can't afford it. I can't afford to be off work on half pay for 6 months, so I put it off. But if I was a single parent and jacked in work...that would change.

Where's the justice in that? Seriously?

Makes my blood boil.


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## Toneeh (Nov 25, 2010)

I dont think it is fair. i do think that why should one family not have children due to finance, when there's a bunch of other people always pregnant and on benefits. but i just mean that the change now might be too much. Are they going to help mothers get jobs? like...Uhm, i dont know what they are called but they are for people without qualifications, and they help them get what they need? Like NVQ's and such? And childcare? Obviously the government can't pay for childcare, although if they did, it would be so much easier to work i think. I'm on the fence with this law as i see both sides. :/

(Oh, and the baby part...i meant whatever age they are when they go school. its like3/4/5 or something, i didnt mean like a 6 month old and they work) 

Congratulations on getting married  (Y)


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Horse and Hound said:


> They are introducing the law to say that once your YOUNGEST child is back in school you have to LOOK FOR A JOB! They are not expecting you to jump into a job straight off, merely to show intent, which is frankly in my opinnion not enough but thats by the by.
> 
> I am getting married next year and we would love NOTHING more than to start a family straight off but we can't afford it. I can't afford to be off work on half pay for 6 months, so I put it off. But if I was a single parent and jacked in work...that would change.
> 
> ...


I t does mine as well, theres no justice, giving out handouts like they have for years has bred a nation of "so what are "you" going to do about it, how much money will "you" pay me because i have a child, sorry your on ya own matey, get on with it would be my response, sounds harsh but i think the country and the individualy would eventually be better off for it.

Off topic but was brought up in a previous post, disability needs reigning in as well because thats another part of the system thats abused and spoilt for the genuine ones.


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## Toneeh (Nov 25, 2010)

haeveymolly said:


> Off topic but was brought up in a previous post, disability needs reigning in as well because thats another part of the system thats abused and spoilt for the genuine ones.


I agree with the abused part, but i what about the real ones? i think that all types of benefits can be abused and i wish it could be stopped because its not fair on the people who really need it and are grateful for it, and its certainly not fair for people who work.

I'm not too good on how our system really works, but isn't it workers taxes that pay for benefits? and if it is, won't taxes go down if they make them work? This is another good reason to make them work. Will taxes go down noticeably or not at all (Sorry for asking a weird question, and if you dont get it)


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

Toneeh said:


> I dont think it is fair. i do think that why should one family not have children due to finance, when there's a bunch of other people always pregnant and on benefits. but i just mean that the change now might be too much. *Are they going to help mothers get jobs? like...Uhm, i dont know what they are called but they are for people without qualifications, and they help them get what they need? Like NVQ's and such? And childcare?* Obviously the government can't pay for childcare, although if they did, it would be so much easier to work i think. I'm on the fence with this law as i see both sides. :/
> 
> (Oh, and the baby part...i meant whatever age they are when they go school. its like3/4/5 or something, i didnt mean like a 6 month old and they work)
> 
> Congratulations on getting married  (Y)


Thanks, but again, to point out what I said in retaliation to the bit in bold. No one is saying they MUST find work, just that they have to be looking for it, which is in my point a stupid thing to do. I could fill in forms and say I'm looking for a job.

My mum didn't have any qualifications, and neither does my OH. Both have now managed to get teaching assistant jobs, which are putting them through theirs. It can be done, so I don't buy it. And why should the G'ment help them get qualifications? They get free schooling up until the age of 18, so they should make the bloody most of it like the rest of us and do something with it!!!

I can see both sides and know which one I'd land on every single time. The G'ment should make childcare more accessible, but to say that would make everyone work is rubbish. Some people don't want to because its easier not to, but unless they are self sufficient enough to take that choice, why the bloody hell should 25% of my fecking wage go to them? I need that money and I've WORKED FOR IT. 



Toneeh said:


> I'm not too good on how our system really works, but isn't it workers taxes that pay for benefits? and if it is, won't taxes go down if they make them work? This is another good reason to make them work. Will taxes go down noticeably or not at all (Sorry for asking a weird question, and if you dont get it)


I don't think taxes would go down, but instead they could be used for something decent like health care, regenerating deprived areas instead of some scrounging get that can't be arsed to look for a job so claims they have a bad back, can't get anyone to look after their kids or can't get a job.

I've no issue with people who GENUINELY need the benefits getting them as a quick and temporary solution. But thats it, it should be TEMPORARY. Not a way of frigging life.

Sorry, but it REALLY gets my goat.


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## Guest (Dec 21, 2010)

Horse and Hound said:


> Thanks, but again, to point out what I said in retaliation to the bit in bold. No one is saying they MUST find work, just that they have to be looking for it, which is in my point a stupid thing to do. I could fill in forms and say I'm looking for a job.
> 
> .


Oh yes! another fine get out clause created by the muppets that THINK they know best!
PErsonally I think that benifits should stop for any children these famiilies have above two!


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## Toneeh (Nov 25, 2010)

I asked that in another post, about whether that had to get a job or just look for it. i also know that, if i was someone with benefits, i could go to a job interview and be like 'oh i'm an alcoholic and i take drugs, so please give me a job' and just ruin the interview on purpose. So making them apply doesn't really help. 
I meant, that by giving them a chance to better their qualifications might make them want to work. i mean, i HATED high school so much, and didn't even want to go college, but i found something i love doing and it makes me want to work and be the best i can to be honest, so i thought that giving people the option to gain skills, that maybe they would like to work, like that have cooking NVQ's and things. 
i also think that college is a must (unless they have a reason not to go), and it becomes like school, where they have to go. That way, the qualifications isnt a excuse. 
I think that, if you are healthy and your kid is in school, you should work. if you dont like your job then tough, i dont like to cook but i have to, to live. 
i just think it should helped a bit more instead of leaving them to their own devices. If the government helps a bit more with them getting a job, but still saying that they have to, it would make them get jobs. i know what i mean. :L


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

Toneeh said:


> I asked that in another post, about whether that had to get a job or just look for it. i also know that, if i was someone with benefits, i could go to a job interview and be like 'oh i'm an alcoholic and i take drugs, so please give me a job' and just ruin the interview on purpose. So making them apply doesn't really help.
> I meant, that by giving them a chance to better their qualifications might make them want to work. i mean, i HATED high school so much, and didn't even want to go college, but i found something i love doing and it makes me want to work and be the best i can to be honest, so i thought that giving people the option to gain skills, that maybe they would like to work, like that have cooking NVQ's and things.
> i also think that college is a must (unless they have a reason not to go), and it becomes like school, where they have to go. That way, the qualifications isnt a excuse.
> I think that, if you are healthy and your kid is in school, you should work. if you dont like your job then tough, i dont like to cook but i have to, to live.
> i just think it should helped a bit more instead of leaving them to their own devices. If the government helps a bit more with them getting a job, but still saying that they have to, it would make them get jobs. i know what i mean. :L


I agree, but I still think that by making our country a welfare state has a lot to answer for. If people HAD to work or starve they would work.

All kids hate school, but the point is they should be focussed enough to get through it. They have made lots of subjects modular assessed now and removed some exams to make it easier for kids to focus, which I fully agree with. And some kids now get paid to go to college, although I don't agree with the discrimination that those in wealthier families don't get it. Why not? Why shouldn't they?


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

JANICE199 said:


> *The answer is plain and simple imo,for a start i would be telling all these young unmarried mothers that the state will not be paying for any children they have.Then i would make it a priority to get the fathers to pay for kids that are left for just mums to raise.*


On one hand I agree with this - on the other, I really don't think it is that straighforward.

ANYONE can end up a single parent - as my lovely late dad kindly reminded me on more than one occasion  there's no such thing as a surprise baby - you have sex - you could get pregnant.

However, within that - you typically have a number of levels

a) the families who force / support discrete termination
b) kids who have termination without their family knowing
c) Kids whose families never find out they were pregnant
d) the families who support these mothers emotionally and / or financially
e) the families who abandon these kids who get pregnant
f) the families who couldn't give a damn in the first place

I would say it's predominantly f) that end up stuck in the benefits trap (e often wants to prove everyone wrong) and probably a little of d) from less well off families who support from a distance.

I suspect the kids from f) often don't, as some believe. get pregnant for the money (although they may say they do) - but yearn for someone of their own to love and believe they can break the destructive cycle they have been born into - sadly, as we know, for most this doesn't happen, and the cycle of broken relationships, kids from multiple and absent fathers continues.

I never really witnessed single parents (other than divorce) in the area I grew up which was typically higher working / middle class - and that hadn't changed when I came home with my daughter 22 years later; I was very much an anomaly amongst the 2.4 kiddie families 

I did however witness in the time I was away, many very sad people who really felt that life had little, if nothing, to offer them - so they had a baby - I've seen it with some of my daughter's friends, and I think it is incredibly sad; in some ways I feel desperately sorry for them.

I don't know what the answer is - but I believe whatever it was, as with most things, there would be a way to play the system, because that's how they've been brought up.

Somehow, these kids need to realise that you don't need a child to feel worth-while, and that there is a big wide exciting world out there.

Many of them have no skills and no education, and never been in a situation where they have been nurtured to an extent where they start to realise their own potential.

If we didn't support these childrens' children - what would happen to them? they would end up in care - I am not convinced that would be better for anyone.

That brings us back to the education system, and how kids are nurtured, and what steps are taken to make them feel valued.

I can't speak for other areas, but years ago, there was a mix of educational levels and abilities in most comprehensive schools - as people simply went to the school of the catchment area where they lived.

Fast forward to "educational choice" and people with an interest in their kids education moved them to other schools with better results on the league tables - leading to a real "brain drain" from some schools - that's not to say there weren't people from those schools who didn't succeed, because there were - but they were very few and far between, and the odds very much against it compared to the better schools.

Ironically, my own area now want to close down all these 'drained' schools and move the kids to schools in other areas - causing complete uproar 

=========================

I wholly agree something has to be done to overhaul the benefits culture in our society - but also not convinced the abandoning the most, often genuinely vulnerable people, is the solution 



Horse and Hound said:


> I agree, but I still think that by making our country a welfare state has a lot to answer for. If people HAD to work or starve they would work.


Some would yes, but overall, I disagree, I believe many, those who genuinely don't know any better, would turn to crime.


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## Amethyst (Jun 16, 2010)

Horse and Hound said:


> I agree, but I still think that by making our country a welfare state has a lot to answer for. If people HAD to work or starve they would work.


Given the fact that there is very little work available right now, we would have a lot of starving people and children ...

I agree there are those who take advantage, BIG TIME, but personally I don't want to see us go back to Victorian times when women frequently had to go into prostitution to feed their children and we had kiddies begging (and worse) on street corners 

Not sure what the answer is, but "work or starve" isn't it. In my opinion :crying:


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## harley bear (Feb 20, 2010)

Amethyst said:


> Given the fact that there is very little work available right now, we would have a lot of starving people and children ...
> 
> I agree there are those who take advantage, BIG TIME, but personally I don't want to see us go back to Victorian times when women frequently had to go into prostitution to feed their children and we had kiddies begging (and worse) on street corners
> 
> Not sure what the answer is, but "work or starve" isn't it. In my opinion :crying:


Totally agree!

I also think that the opinions of people who think that people who dont work shouldnt get any state benefits, their opinions would soon bloody change if they lost their jobs and had families to support!


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## Akitaowner (Dec 1, 2010)

I totally agree, the tory led government picks on vulnerable people who can't or won't stick up for themselves.

With the budget cuts on all county council people who need a service are sorely losing out, people with disabilities, OAP's and people with mental health. Services which get them out of the house socialising, or providing care or meals are being cut off.

Single mums are now another example, with tough jobs market out there how are single moms suppose to find a job, when someone who has no ties or kids is going for a job? In this market single moms will lose out as they need to have certain times off as well as short notice for leave if a child is sick etc. 

This tory led government is just ran sacking all vulnerable, and less well off people, I could rant on about the stuff they are turning this country into grrrr....ok breathe.... grrr  

I agree the benefit system needs a total re-haul but least get the wasters who are too bone idle to get off their ar$e n get a job, or the people that have spent a life on benefits, they are the ones I detest not single moms who are normally struggling as it is :scared:

Ok Rant over &#9829;


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## poohdog (May 16, 2010)

Akitaowner said:


> I totally agree, the tory led government picks on vulnerable people who can't or won't stick up for themselves.
> 
> With the budget cuts on all county council people who need a service are sorely losing out, people with disabilities, OAP's and people with mental health. Services which get them out of the house socialising, or providing care or meals are being cut off.
> 
> ...


In this day and age there is no reason why single women should be shelling out kids...
It's no good slagging off the coalition when it was the other mob that insisted on handing out bribes to the idle and feckless....who were so thick that they didn't realise the money was being taken out of their own back pockets by stealth anyway.
The only stuff I don't agree with with the cuts is the continuous handing out of my money to the third world. Where it goes straight into the pockets of their corrupt politicians....you wanna help the world?....send 'em condoms.

Oh...and propping up banks that continue to think they are are the chosen ones instead of working for the general good of the country


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Toneeh said:


> I agree with the abused part, but i what about the real ones? i think that all types of benefits can be abused and i wish it could be stopped because its not fair on the people who really need it and are grateful for it, and its certainly not fair for people who work.
> 
> I'm not too good on how our system really works, but isn't it workers taxes that pay for benefits? and if it is, won't taxes go down if they make them work? This is another good reason to make them work. Will taxes go down noticeably or not at all (Sorry for asking a weird question, and if you dont get it)


Yes it is the taxes that us working people pay, but tbh you raised a good point there about taxes going down ide never thought of it that way, wouldnt that be good?


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

harley bear said:


> Totally agree!
> 
> I also think that the opinions of people who think that people who dont work shouldnt get any state benefits, their opinions would soon bloody change if they lost their jobs and had families to support!


Yes we would change our minds and want a benefit system because then we would be the genuine ones and thats the problem and thats what i support the "genuine people" not the wont work scroungers.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

Amethyst said:


> *Given the fact that there is very little work available right now*, we would have a lot of starving people and children ...
> 
> I agree there are those who take advantage, BIG TIME, but personally I don't want to see us go back to Victorian times when women frequently had to go into prostitution to feed their children and we had kiddies begging (and worse) on street corners
> 
> Not sure what the answer is, but "work or starve" isn't it. In my opinion :crying:


I've just done a job search for my area and come up with 15 jobs on the first 3 pages that ask for part time or full time workers at basic hourly rate, no quals or experience needed.

It doesn't wash with me.

The answer is simply we'll carry on paying for them.



harley bear said:


> Totally agree!
> 
> I also think that the opinions of people who think that people who dont work shouldnt get any state benefits, their opinions would soon bloody change if they lost their jobs and had families to support!


No it wouldn't/won't (and I say that as there is a very real posibility I may be made redundant). And for the record I have never said that people shouldn't get state benefits, just that the system really should be completely overhauled.

My oh lost his job and was unemployed for 3 months. In those 3 months he did voluntary work to get some experience in and moved back in with his mum. After that he took a 4 week part-time christmas job at clinton cards, then worked in a bar for 4 weeks, then managed to get a 6 month contract covering someone's maternity leave at a company. Now he's just managed to get a teaching assistant job.

If the same happened to me and I was a single mother:

1) I'd be actively HUNTING for a job, which is all the G'ment are asking for
2) I'd take anything or everything out there be that bloody catalogue delivery to horse sh** shovelling. 
3) I'd live off the savings I have first and foremost.

I didn't have an option. When I was old enough I got a job or I had no car, no house, no life. I could have sat and sponged on the dole but I didn't.

Sorry, doesn't wash with me AT ALL. Those who genuinely need the benefits IMHO won't be the ones that enjoy being in the situation, so LOOKING FOR a job won't come as anything they would object to.

What about, as a suggestion, that those claiming benefits do "voluntary" work, in places like the Samaritans, RSPCA, Mencap, Bernardos etc? Those hours can be fit round a school and if the reason people "can't" get a job is because there are none out there, this should free up some well needed funding as they are in a way being funded and "paid" via their benefit system?

That might be a much more beneficial thing to do?


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## Akitaowner (Dec 1, 2010)

poohdog said:


> In this day and age there is no reason why single women should be shelling out kids...
> It's no good slagging off the coalition when it was the other mob that insisted on handing out bribes to the idle and feckless....who were so thick that they didn't realise the money was being taken out of their own back pockets by stealth anyway.
> The only stuff I don't agree with with the cuts is the continuous handing out of my money to the third world. Where it goes straight into the pockets of their corrupt politicians....you wanna help the world?....send 'em condoms.
> 
> Oh...and propping up banks that continue to think they are are the chosen ones instead of working for the general good of the country


The other mob did a lot of good for the country, but in the tough times it seems like the tory led government love to blame. The false promises that they make. If they real wanted to the country a favour they would gain money back from the tax dodgers (25bill), they would keep the school fund going, not higher students debt so we do not have another lost generation. I can't help feel Thatcherite views are coming from the con-dems. Welcome more riots I think :scared:


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## niki87 (Nov 18, 2009)

Akitaowner said:


> I totally agree, the tory led government picks on vulnerable people who can't or won't stick up for themselves.
> 
> With the budget cuts on all county council people who need a service are sorely losing out, people with disabilities, OAP's and people with mental health. Services which get them out of the house socialising, or providing care or meals are being cut off.
> 
> ...


You are exactly right in this. There are people who are GENUINELY in need....out of circumstances they are in. My mum had cancer...then scondary cancer and has suffered major body trauma from radiation overdose...20 years ago...she is disabled and yet she is worrying her benefits are going to be cut!!

I am a single mum...a single was-teen mum....shock horror. I agree with everyone who has said how hard it is for a single mum to get a job...employers are going to take people in so many other positions/walks of life than someone who is tied down, can't travel, likely to be off with sickly children etc. I had a decent education so in my opinion the best thing for me and my little boy was to go back and finish it as it wasn't too late for me. That is what I am doing. To ensure I can get the best job possible. Saying that I do have to have help with my housing for instance.



Horse and Hound said:


> If the same happened to me and I was a single mother:
> 
> 1) I'd be actively HUNTING for a job, which is all the G'ment are asking for
> 2) I'd take anything or everything out there be that bloody catalogue delivery to horse sh** shovelling.
> ...


I don't mean to pick on this reply as actually reading it properly your points are valid. But I don't believe this contempt to single parents as a whole is justified. Yes there are people who have children to sponge from the govt and all your hard working tax payers and this makes me  But the majority of single parents would not have CHOSEN to be in this situation. Also the majority are working/learning. But the heavily media-focussed group of slackers cause many to generalise. There are plenty of parents in two parent families in which one parent doesn't work...they are not contributing to taxes etc and living off one's OH is technically the same mentality as parents living off the govt. I am not saying they should work necessarily but I hope you understand my point. It is not just single parents who have an aversion to work.

Going back to the original question...my son is going to school next year and I will still be in my final two years of education...I will struggle if my benefits are cut...but I know that many are suffering so I will continue to do my best 

Sorry for essay


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

niki87 said:


> I am a single mum...a single was-teen mum....shock horror. I agree with everyone who has said how hard it is for a single mum to get a job...employers are going to take people in so many other positions/walks of life than someone who is tied down, can't travel, likely to be off with sickly children etc. I had a decent education so in my opinion the best thing for me and my little boy was to go back and finish it as it wasn't too late for me. That is what I am doing. To ensure I can get the best job possible. Saying that I do have to have help with my housing for instance.


How many employers have you actually asked?

Every single job interview I went to, from my first role as a clerk after my daughter was born, to being a senior manager at a Blue Chip company, I was open and honest about the fact I was a single parent - and made it quite clear that my daughter ALWAYS came first. If they asked me what I would do it the child was ill (which actually is illegal) - I asked them what they did when their wife or child was ill - amazing how it shut people up.

I spent 3 years working in a man's world - the only senior manager - I had single parents working for me, so was able to emphathise with the difficulties they faced and accommodate flexible working.

I admit at my first senior management position I relied very heavily on family, and my new partner, particularly when we moved in together, as well as private school and childcare - but this was the first time I'd had to work the type of hours I did in order to survive and prove myself.

The point is, many want to work, not become senior managers, and to be quite frank I have NEVER been overlooked for someone single with no dependents, or male and married, and I was searching for a jobs at a time when there were no European Regulations on the number of working hours in a city where single parents were rare in half of it, and didn't work in the other.

When I graduated from Uni, a lot of my younger colleagues callled me a jammy swine when I got a job - I started searching in the March, applied for well in excess of 100 jobs, got three interviews and one job which started the Monday after I completed my degree. I also held down three part-time jobs throughout Uni which I also finished the week before I started my permanent job.

IF you can prove to an employer you are the right person for the job, then the there is always scope for compromise, even if that involves homeworking.


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## staceydawlz (Jun 8, 2009)

swarthy said:


> How many employers have you actually asked?
> 
> Every single job interview I went to, from my first role as a clerk after my daughter was born, to being a senior manager at a Blue Chip company, I was open and honest about the fact I was a single parent - and made it quite clear that my daughter ALWAYS came first. If they asked me what I would do it the child was ill (which actually is illegal) - I asked them what they did when their wife or child was ill - amazing how it shut people up.
> 
> ...


shock horror...but i agree with u for once:thumbup: iv never been looked over because im young with young children! why should it be a problem?! many many people have children if they went be that there wouldnt be much people out there to choose from!


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## staceydawlz (Jun 8, 2009)

Horse and Hound said:


> I agree, but I still think that by making our country a welfare state has a lot to answer for. If people HAD to work or starve they would work.
> 
> All kids hate school, but the point is they should be focussed enough to get through it. They have made lots of subjects modular assessed now and removed some exams to make it easier for kids to focus, which I fully agree with. And some kids now get paid to go to college, although I don't agree with the discrimination that those in wealthier families don't get it. Why not? Why shouldn't they?


i think it would be something we really couldnt do because in most cases people would be stealing to feed because quite simply there are not enough jobs!! yet again im not sayin there arent people out there who do nothing but scrounge but on the other side there are familys who would love to work and have/are trying hard to get a job but no success xx


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## Akitaowner (Dec 1, 2010)

staceydawlz said:


> shock horror...but i agree with u for once:thumbup: iv never been looked over because im young with young children! why should it be a problem?! many many people have children if they went be that there wouldnt be much people out there to choose from!


That is true, but employers will be employing people who have just come out of work not someone who has been unemployed for a while. This will make it hard on the single mums


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

staceydawlz said:


> shock horror...but i agree with u for once:thumbup: iv never been looked over because im young with young children! why should it be a problem?! many many people have children if they went be that there wouldnt be much people out there to choose from!


Very true.

I was going to add also to my post - you don't go into an interview and say "oh btw I am a single parent" - you go in - SHOW them you are the right person for the job, and THEN tell them.

I also, unless directly asked, never put on application forms that I was a single mother.



Akitaowner said:


> That is true, but employers will be employing people who have just come out of work not someone who has been unemployed for a while. This will make it hard on the single mums


TBH - people straight out of school often find it the hardest to find jobs, because they seldom have any work related experience, and this often goes for graduates who p*ss their three years in Uni up the wall and don't work as well.

I do agree however that if someone is unemployed - irrespective of whether they are single, married, a mother, a carer - it IS harder to get work - and this is why I've often taken anything to ensure I stayed in the market - and probably why I worked on temporary contracts for such long periods - but ultimately, I didn't care whether it was temporary or permanent, a good job or a not so good jon - all I was interested in was the fact I was working.

My daughter and her friends are struggling to get jobs when they graduate in the new year - so they've all signed up for the hospital bank and the nursing agency - and will do that until something comes along.


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## niki87 (Nov 18, 2009)

swarthy said:


> How many employers have you actually asked?
> 
> Every single job interview I went to, from my first role as a clerk after my daughter was born, to being a senior manager at a Blue Chip company, I was open and honest about the fact I was a single parent - and made it quite clear that my daughter ALWAYS came first. If they asked me what I would do it the child was ill (which actually is illegal) - I asked them what they did when their wife or child was ill - amazing how it shut people up.
> 
> ...


I think your story is amazing and if I was wearing a hat i'd be taking it off for you! I have to admit to generalising too then. I think you have done brill....though to edit what I said....it is harder.


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## Akitaowner (Dec 1, 2010)

I do agree certain people use it as an excuse like my sister in law, but then she has everything. More than I can afford to and I work 50 hours + some weeks my OH is out of work but we make do and he doesn't claim any benefits though he does qualify. 

I just think the government are making all single moms out to be the same and it all depends on a person to person situation


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## niki87 (Nov 18, 2009)

Akitaowner said:


> I just think the government are making all single moms out to be the same and it all depends on a person to person situation


 OK you have just said what I was trying to say in my essay...in one line :thumbup:

I don't agree with doing nothing...if you have a child then you HAVE to take responsibility...but as long as people are doing that then I don't think they should be penalised. But there are plenty of children in families where the parent/s are doing nothing and would actually do better in a good nursery around other kids etc.


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

niki87 said:


> I think your story is amazing and if I was wearing a hat i'd be taking it off for you! I have to admit to generalising too then. I think you have done brill....though to edit what I said....it is harder.


Thanks - I didn't write about my experience for praise or sympathy -but because, I suspect, like others I do get very frustated on this subject 

I've been turned down for more jobs than I care to remember - I know all too well that sinking feeling when a thin envelope turns up, or the weeks of waiting and hearing nothing - and the knocks it gives you confidence - I know all too well how hard it can be to keep picking yourself up - and that's one area I REALLY miss my dad - because he always knew the right thing to say  I lost my contract when he was taken into hospital for the last time, when the new government decided to scrap the funding. I couldn't talk to him and didn't dare tell my mum - thankfully, I secured a contract three weeks before he passed away, so at least he knew before he went.

I know what it's like to know almost straight off you've screwed up an interview, or how tiring and frustrating it can be when you are sending letter after letter and email after email and you start to almost indiscriminately apply for anything and everything in hope.

No-one said it was easy - it can be truly soul destroying at times - but it is very true that sometimes just getting into a job, any old job, can make the next one be just around the corner - and as I'm often told, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

===================

I also stand by my belief that the education needs to start far earlier that when the mums have got their babies - or the next generation of benefit claimants become of working age


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## Acacia86 (Dec 30, 2008)

I admit some places were not interested when i went back to work after having my daughter. But perseverence pays off :thumbup: it can be a nightmare finding work over here..... apparently!

I have a out of the house job that i NEVER thought i would do. But i took it as it worked for me hours wise, and is flexible. They knew right from the off (as did all the others) that my daughter will ALWAYS come first and the boss knows and understands. He also completely understands about my pets! I will take time off if they are ill/injured and know i will not loose out. He also adores animals. I now LOVE it :thumbup: I was dead against it (as a fair few posts on here a while back tell you) but before i took it on a researched intensively and spoke to people etc etc

So it just goes to show that when it comes to working sometimes going against your ''belief's'' not only works but turns out to be amazing! :thumbup:

To me working is absolutely necessary as a single mum. I would take any job going to provide for my daughter and myself. Regardless of if i 'wanted' that sort of job or not! As it happens it turned out great for me but i wasn't thinking like that at first!!


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## staceydawlz (Jun 8, 2009)

Akitaowner said:


> That is true, but employers will be employing people who have just come out of work not someone who has been unemployed for a while. This will make it hard on the single mums


this is where i would think ur wrong simply because like iv said my partner was paid off march and didnt get a job til this christmas and even now its only xmas temp!! and part time...and believe me hes been tryin so hard!! even applying for jobs 30 miles away xxx


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## staceydawlz (Jun 8, 2009)

swarthy said:


> Very true.
> 
> I was going to add also to my post - you don't go into an interview and say "oh btw I am a single parent" - you go in - SHOW them you are the right person for the job, and THEN tell them.
> 
> ...


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## WelshOneEmma (Apr 11, 2009)

I have been reading about these posts saying single mums won't have the right experience and qualifications etc. Not everyone doing their job started off with these. You have to be prepared to do the work and put in the hours (which may be the issue with some?) but that is never an excuse.

I don't have the correct qualifications to do my job (no degree, only a hnd) but I started off as admin (on a poor wage) and WORKED MY WAY UP. I now have 5 years experience and would be chosen over a graduate with a hnd. Last time i interviewed i went for two jobs, got offered them both (and would have been up against people with degrees) and was able to name my terms with the company I went with. If you are working at home as a single parent - can you not do home based learning to get some qualifications???

And when i did interview, i was part of my niece's childcare, and stated this in my interview and that i would need flexibility. Most employers nowadays understand this and are flexible. If you want to get out of a situation strongly enough, you will.

As for the prostitution comment, i think that should be legalised and regulated, but thats another topic!


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

niki87 said:


> OK you have just said what I was trying to say in my essay...in one line :thumbup:
> 
> I don't agree with doing nothing...if you have a child then you HAVE to take responsibility...but as long as people are doing that then I don't think they should be penalised. But there are plenty of children in families where the parent/s are doing nothing and would actually do better in a good nursery around other kids etc.


Absolutely; I know there are some that believe kids should be with a parent ALL the time - but in my own experience, and from what I've seen, providing the child is with people who treat them with love, respect and kindness, they will flourish. Structurally as a family, my daughter's couldn't have been whackier - me and my parents, then my partner and with him came a HUGE extended family who often holiday'd together when the kids were younger, including my stepson, my partners ex-wife, her other son, her partner, his kids, and mutual (and not so mutual) friends.

A nursery environment can be incredibly stimulating for a child in terms of capabilities and interaction, It can enhance vocabulary and sensory skills and teach them the art and sharing. It also often makes the time children do spend with their parents more interesting and stimulating.

It's not quite the same, but (typical as my daughter has grown up) - I now spend a fair proportion of my time working from home.

I adore it and being able to be with my dogs, and communicate a lot with others through remote meetings etc - I always mentally groan if I have to go off somewhere at 4am, but the minute I'm there, I remember the pleasure of working in an office around other people - there's only so much intelligent conversation you can have with 7 dogs and a silent TV 

A child won't suffer from spending time with a relative, a childminder, a nursery providing it is a healthy caring environment, it gives the parent an alternative view outside their family when they work, and makes for a more interesting life all round


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

WelshOneEmma said:


> I have been reading about these posts saying single mums won't have the right experience and qualifications etc. Not everyone doing their job started off with these. You have to be prepared to do the work and put in the hours (which may be the issue with some?) but that is never an excuse.
> 
> I don't have the correct qualifications to do my job (no degree, only a hnd) but I started off as admin (on a poor wage) and WORKED MY WAY UP. I now have 5 years experience and would be chosen over a graduate with a hnd. Last time i interviewed i went for two jobs, got offered them both (and would have been up against people with degrees) and was able to name my terms with the company I went with. If you are working at home as a single parent - can you not do home based learning to get some qualifications???
> 
> ...


Totally agree with this as well. When I had to end my nurse training half way through because of my eczema (and before child) - I had the clothes I stood up in and a few people skills - little else.

I did a fair bit of bluffing to get into a few roles, taught myself to use a typewriter and then computer, decided as I was good on the phone, a switchboard would be a doddle, I then secured a role as the secretary / receptionist for a brewery, and it was only then I realised if I wanted to get further I would have to get some qualifications.

I went to Uni as a mature student, did a HND, took a year out working, and then did a degree, and then really had the bug so did my Masters and Teacher training part-time. and dropped out half way through my PhD for work related reasons (I regret it now ) I also took some time to get some secretarial qualifications with my HND (just in case anyone ever asked :lol.

I do know that while my qualifications may have helped in first approach, it's my work experience that does the rest.

I also know that my HND was extremely intense compared to both the Degree and the Masters and provided a superb foundation for the years to follow - but still holds some of my most endearing memories of my time in education


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## RAINYBOW (Aug 27, 2009)

I can vouch that kids won't suffer with a childminder 

My last working day before the Christmas hols we ..... 

Went for Milkshakes and a look at the animals at the Farm shop as a Christmas Treat
Made Christmas biscuits
Did a huge group glitter snow picture together 
Had Christmas storytime and dancing to Christmas songs
Made Playdoh snowmen (we don't have enough of the real stuff unbelievably)
and watched Wallace and Gromit Christmas special 

No wonder i am knackered :lol:


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## Cazza1974 (Sep 23, 2009)

RAINYBOW said:


> I can vouch that kids won't suffer with a childminder
> 
> My last working day before the Christmas hols we .....
> 
> ...


Busy day lol. Sounds like you all had fun :thumbup:


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

RAINYBOW said:


> I can vouch that kids won't suffer with a childminder
> 
> My last working day before the Christmas hols we .....
> 
> ...


hehe - I have the highest regard for people who work with young children - my daughter adored her time at nursery and my childminder became a trusted friend - and her own children lifelong friends of my daughter 

Sounds like you had a lovely (if rather exhausting) day 

One of my web clients runs a Montessori school, your day sounds more like of theirs


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## Akitaowner (Dec 1, 2010)

staceydawlz said:


> this is where i would think ur wrong simply because like iv said my partner was paid off march and didnt get a job til this christmas and even now its only xmas temp!! and part time...and believe me hes been tryin so hard!! even applying for jobs 30 miles away xxx


I am in the same position, my OH has been out of work since June and is finding it very tough to get any sort of work. What I meant was it will be harder for single moms who have been out of work for a a while, when there is so many people who have been laid off, or the company has shut down who are now in that job market so employers normally take them on has the have a good work record.

I myself have claim benefits once when I moved area for personal reasons I had a job but had to wait 3 months for a CRB and need to live in the mean time.

I just think people who need these benefits are going to penalised for the people who know how to work the system.


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## xamtex (Dec 13, 2010)

if you cant afford to provide for a child then dont have one?
i have 3 children and have worked hard to ensure they were cared for and looked after.....why should i have to look after other peoples kids (via the tax i pay)???


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## xamtex (Dec 13, 2010)

just a thought....


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

niki87 said:


> I don't mean to pick on this reply as actually reading it properly your points are valid. But I don't believe this contempt to single parents as a whole is justified. Yes there are people who have children to sponge from the govt and all your hard working tax payers and this makes me But the majority of single parents would not have CHOSEN to be in this situation. Also the majority are working/learning. But the heavily media-focussed group of slackers cause many to generalise. There are plenty of parents in two parent families in which one parent doesn't work...they are not contributing to taxes etc and living off one's OH is technically the same mentality as parents living off the govt. I am not saying they should work necessarily but I hope you understand my point. It is not just single parents who have an aversion to work.





niki87 said:


>




I have no "comtempt" towards single parents at all. My best friend was a single mother of 3 after escaping from an abusive relationshipt that I actively helped her to do this time 3 years ago. I have nothing but admiration for her, and indeed other mothers who like yourself are doing the best they can by the children. Her youngest started school on the wednesday, she was working part time (25 hrs a week) in the local supermarket by the following monday. Now, she's currently on maternity having had her 4th but fully intends to be back at work as now she is not claiming benefits, in her own words "we need the money so we'll manage!" 

What my issue is with is people who are crying at the fact they may have to LOOK, not actually get but LOOK for a job or face benefit cuts. ANYONE can look for a job and perhaps the G'ment if the economic situation were better would insist find a job within a year or not, but no, they are asking people to LOOK.

And no, I don't agree AT ALL that people not working and living off their other halfs wage is the same at all. Whilst they may not be contributing to society their partner is and they are NOT claiming benefits. I also don't think it is technically the same mentality as living off the g'ment. Those people can afford to stay off work, those on benefits can't hence them claiming them?! 




swarthy said:


> How many employers have you actually asked?





swarthy said:


> Every single job interview I went to, from my first role as a clerk after my daughter was born, to being a senior manager at a Blue Chip company, I was open and honest about the fact I was a single parent - and made it quite clear that my daughter ALWAYS came first. If they asked me what I would do it the child was ill (which actually is illegal) - I asked them what they did when their wife or child was ill - amazing how it shut people up.
> 
> I spent 3 years working in a man's world - the only senior manager - I had single parents working for me, so was able to emphathise with the difficulties they faced and accommodate flexible working.
> 
> ...




Hats off to you, I have nothing but admiration, I seriously do. 




niki87 said:


> OK you have just said what I was trying to say in my essay...in one line





niki87 said:


> I don't agree with doing nothing...if you have a child then you HAVE to take responsibility...but as long as people are doing that then I don't think they should be penalised. But there are plenty of children in families where the parent/s are doing nothing and would actually do better in a good nursery around other kids etc.




But to me, living off the state is NOT taking responsibility? And Im not just talking single mums either, Im talking about the other prats that false claim disability benefits or the dole when they are sneakily getting cash in hand for a job.

Really, really hacks me off when I see those people scrounging preventing someone who actually DESERVES the money from getting themselves straight.

The Government has a lot to answer for and I do think that what they are trying to do now WILL sort those who WANT to work out from those who simply cannot be arsed. 



Acacia86 said:


> To me working is absolutely necessary as a single mum. I would take any job going to provide for my daughter and myself. Regardless of if i 'wanted' that sort of job or not! As it happens it turned out great for me but i wasn't thinking like that at first!!




So would I, and its that attitude that is what I admire about so many of the single mums I know. And its the opposite attitude that gets my goat in another load that I know of as well.




staceydawlz said:


> this is where i would think ur wrong simply because like iv said my partner was paid off march and didnt get a job til this christmas and even now its only xmas temp!! and part time...and believe me hes been tryin so hard!! even applying for jobs 30 miles away xxx


 
Yip, tell me about it. We went through months of hell this time last year until OH managed to get his temping at Clinton and the local over the holidays. Perserverance does pay off and now hes managed to get the job hes always wanted to do as someone took a chance on him.



swarthy said:


> I went to Uni as a mature student, did a HND, took a year out working, and then did a degree, and then really had the bug so did my Masters and Teacher training part-time. and dropped out half way through my PhD for work related reasons (I regret it now ) I also took some time to get some secretarial qualifications with my HND (just in case anyone ever asked




Wow! Ive done my degree and want to do my masters and teacher training eventually! Im happy where I am and love the fact that Im dealing with overseas customers with multi million pound contracts, but Ive always said that once Ive had children and we are comfortable enough to do so, Id like to consider Teaching. I didnt realise you could do the training part time. Thats ideal! 




RAINYBOW said:


> I can vouch that kids won't suffer with a childminder





RAINYBOW said:


> My last working day before the Christmas hols we .....
> 
> Went for Milkshakes and a look at the animals at the Farm shop as a Christmas Treat
> Made Christmas biscuits
> ...




Seeing that makes me almost wish I had been at a childmindersoh, hang on, my nanna used to do most of the above with us. I loved nothing more than on a Friday afternoon taking my glitter picture home to my dad with glitter on my handand watch him grit his teeth as I was pawing at his suit! 

He he he!


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## swarthy (Apr 24, 2010)

Horse and Hound said:


> Wow! Ive done my degree and want to do my masters and teacher training eventually! Im happy where I am and love the fact that Im dealing with overseas customers with multi million pound contracts, but Ive always said that once Ive had children and we are comfortable enough to do so, Id like to consider Teaching. I didnt realise you could do the training part time. Thats ideal!


You can, but if you want QTS it takes three years and a fair amount of teaching prac - which could be quite difficult to fit in if you are working full time - fitting it in around a family however should be much easier 

I did the FEATC which is for post 16 education - it took me two years and I was able to do my teaching prac in the evenings - when I look back now, I really don't know how I did it - I was working full-time, doing my Masters dissertation, attending college one evening a week and teaching two nights a week  (my daughter was a teenager by this stage and I was in a long term relationship) (and we got our first dog when I finished that year 

My mum has nagged me to top it up to QTS - and I could now do it in the local Uni - but TBH - not sure I would want to teach kids.

I've been working in e-learning for the last 10 years - my PhD was online accessiblity and usability for people with disabilities - but a job change and the need to find a fair few thousand a year for fees made me give up - I regret it now - but hey ho


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## Amethyst (Jun 16, 2010)

Horse and Hound said:


> I've just done a job search for my area and come up with 15 jobs on the first 3 pages that ask for part time or full time workers at basic hourly rate, no quals or experience needed.
> It doesn't wash with me.


I'd be interested in knowing what the jobs actually were?

I bet you wouldn't do them for a basic hourly rate  
If you were honest ...


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Amethyst said:


> I'd be interested in knowing what the jobs actually were?
> 
> I bet you wouldn't do them for a basic hourly rate
> If you were honest ...


But they would id benefits was stopped they would have no choice, my friends son had an apprenticeship with a buider the builder went bust he was out of work for 3 days it wasnt a job he wanted but needed the money so he looked for other jobs applied for 3 in one week he actually said there are jobs out there, but none if you are picky or are on a position of being able to claim lots of benefits. I do think when a lot of people say there are no jobs, i think some mean no jobs they want to do or no jobs that bring in as much as their benefits.


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## Amethyst (Jun 16, 2010)

I don't think it is nec about being "picky" many jobs are just not suitable for a young mum with little ones 

Take care work for example, unsocial hours on shift systems, how are they supposed to work until 9 or 10 at night? How many child minders work those hours or have kiddies sleeping over? Not all single mums have the luxury of family to baby sit in their home 

Shop work sounds good, but many if not most shops now expect staff to come in early for sales/promotions, stay late, really late sometimes etc.

To be honest, I think the benefit of having mums at home with children, outweighs any financial cost to the country. Considering the money that will be paid out in subsidies to get mums back into work when minimum wage jobs are all that is generally available ....

I can't quite work out how mums are meant to start work at say 7.30 or 8am when they have children to get to school and maybe a little one to a childminder. Despite what some choose to think, in my experience, many, if not most single mothers do NOT have the imagined lavish lifestyle of cars to run around in and not always a supportive family 

I've (in my professional work) seen them struggling in poor areas with little emotional and practical back up, that is the reality of it. Whether you want to take the stance that they "deserve it" and should "work or starve" is up to the individual ...

Maybe we should bring back the workhouse? I believe that is where unmarried mothers and their little ones used to go :scared:


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Amethyst said:


> I don't think it is nec about being "picky" many jobs are just not suitable for a young mum with little ones
> 
> Take care work for example, unsocial hours on shift systems, how are they supposed to work until 9 or 10 at night? How many child minders work those hours or have kiddies sleeping over? Not all single mums have the luxury of family to baby sit in their home
> 
> ...


I wouldnt want anyone to starve or the workhouse days again, what i want is for single parents to take responsibility for themselves and their children i by no means think its easy to work and have children but what is easy is staying at home and getting that pay check every week and thats the attraction for many many young people i spend a lot of time around young people and that the first thought for many of them how much would i get in benefits and how much would i get for working and unless they could get a well paid job benefits bring in more and in my mind that very wrong, ive heard young people say "i wouldnt get out of bed for that" thats he attitude of today.

Most schools nowadays take children from 7.30 and run after school clubs, i wouldnt have wanted my children to have a long day at school like that but ime sorry if needs must, think its the best for the children because they will be brought up NOT knowing just how easy it is to live on benefits.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

swarthy said:


> You can, but if you want QTS it takes three years and a fair amount of teaching prac - which could be quite difficult to fit in if you are working full time - fitting it in around a family however should be much easier


 
That would be the plan. Save enough up to be able to do it, in confidence and hopefully at a time when OH can support us so I can reduce hours. Its all in the future, something I am working on. 





Amethyst said:


> I'd be interested in knowing what the jobs actually were?





Amethyst said:


> I bet you wouldn't do them for a basic hourly rate
> If you were honest ...




Most of them were a mixture of sales and telesales job with basic and commission there was a fair few offering bar work, shop work, christmas temping at the local retail centre, packing at the post office, supermarket distribution centre.
If I had no money and needed a job then yes I would. And that is me being honest, I would do what I needed to get by. That's what I don't understand. I have done 4 of them for a "basic hourly rate" whilst I was at uni so that I could afford to get by, and up until this time last year I did a second job in a bar to afford to live as well. I've worked in a supermarket, shop, 2 pubs and one restuarant and also a telesales centre.




Amethyst said:


> To be honest, I think the benefit of having mums at home with children, outweighs any financial cost to the country. Considering the money that will be paid out in subsidies to get mums back into work when minimum wage jobs are all that is generally available ....





Amethyst said:


> I can't quite work out how mums are meant to start work at say 7.30 or 8am when they have children to get to school and maybe a little one to a childminder. Despite what some choose to think, in my experience, many, if not most single mothers do NOT have the imagined lavish lifestyle of cars to run around in and not always a supportive family




Maybe kids do benefit from having a mother or father at would be in our case, home with them full time, but fact of the matter is I don't expect that I should pay for that?! My parents didn't, we lived off one parents wage. I know and have aske my mum several times about this and she holds the opinion firmly that had she been on her own and no support from my dad, and she gets feck all from her parents as we never speak to them, she'd work. She'd do anything to provide for her kids.

Im sorry, but I am a firm believer if you CANNOT provide a home for that child off your own back if there is no one there to help you, you should NOT get pregnant in the first place. Do it and face the consequences. 

Everyone says to everyone on this forum not to get a dog/cat or pet unless they can provide for it financially...why are kids any different?! Oh, hang on, becasue we can get hand outs! 




Amethyst said:


> I've (in my professional work) seen them struggling in poor areas with little emotional and practical back up, that is the





Amethyst said:


> reality of it. Whether you want to take the stance that they "deserve it" and should "work or starve" is up to the individual ...
> 
> Maybe we should bring back the workhouse? I believe that is where unmarried mothers and their little ones used to go




And Ive in my personal opinion seen single mothers with 4 children with a bigger house, bigger tv, newer car and more fecking disposable money than me. 

And no, maybe not the workhouse but what about asking them for voluntary work for their benefits? Instead of asking for gment funding, some societies should be given those on benefits the chance to work for it. That way they are getting money, doing something to put something back into society, and that extra bit of funding that is freed up can do the world of good.

Ive been brought up that if I want something I earn it. Simple as. I fail to see why I should shell out for those that dont feel the same.


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## Amethyst (Jun 16, 2010)

haeveymolly said:


> Most schools nowadays take children from 7.30 and run after school clubs, i wouldnt have wanted my children to have a long day at school like that but ime sorry if needs must, think its the best for the children because they will be brought up NOT knowing just how easy it is to live on benefits.


The reality of living on benefits for the majority of people is not "easy" 

I do agree there are some who are "on the fiddle" and work the system to their benefit. The majority simply exist and that in my experience goes for the majority of single mums with young children. Just my thoughts 

In the ideal world rolleyes of course no children would be cared for by single parents, but we live in a less than ideal world alas and until people become perfect ...


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## Amethyst (Jun 16, 2010)

Horse and Hound said:


> Im sorry, but I am a firm believer if you CANNOT provide a home for that child off your own back if there is no one there to help you, you should NOT get pregnant in the first place. Do it and face the consequences.


What consequences? Work or starve?

Ultimately it will be the children who suffer. Most people would not want to see that, I certainly wouldn't ... Sure our taxes (mine and hubbies) are paying to bring up peoples little ones, but the alternative, well personally I don't want to back to the bad old days before the welfare state.


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## WelshOneEmma (Apr 11, 2009)

Amethyst said:


> The reality of living on benefits for the majority of people is not "easy"
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

Amethyst said:


> What consequences? Work or starve?
> 
> Ultimately it will be the children who suffer. Most people would not want to see that, I certainly wouldn't ... Sure our taxes (mine and hubbies) are paying to bring up peoples little ones, but the alternative, well personally I don't want to back to the bad old days before the welfare state.


To put it bluntly, yes, that's the consequences. Have to face the fact you need to provide for the child YOU brought into this world. Why the hell should anyone else? I'd do anything to feed my kids, and if that meant, shock horror, working, then yes, I'd do it.

And besides, keep harping back to this they are ASKING THEM TO LOOK, not get, LOOK for work. Even that has to be manageble for single mums who "can't get any one to babysit" during school hours, surely?



WelshOneEmma said:


> Well for starters even basics fresh food is quite cheap and you can buy things to make up meals and freeze, so that is no excuse. When my OH was out of work (for 8 months) he did odd jobs where he could get them, but i was the main breadwinner. once all bills were paid we had NO money to spare each week on ourselves. He didn't qualify for any help either. He has worked and paid taxes since he was 17, yet didnt qualify for help.
> 
> We pulled everything back, no sky, no mobiles, no alcohol (neither of us smokes) and we had the value fresh food (and if we couldn't afford free range chicken, we didnt have it). we still managed to pay all bills on time but we went without to make it.
> .


It was only 6 months for us, well 3 if you count the temping he did over christmas and odd jobs, but he was on the whole out of full time work for 6 months. He had to go back to his mums. He had no mobile, didn't go out, did nothing. And he qualified for nothing because he had £400 savings which we'd been stashing for the house move. No complaints though, he used it as he had to, but what gets my goat is had he never bothered to ever work in his life, then he'd have been able to claim something!

Those people that claim benefits as a short term, stop gap as they are looking for work, or even for the 3/4 years their child is a baby then fine. But to use it as a way of life is wrong.

You have a kid, pay for it.


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## Amethyst (Jun 16, 2010)

WelshOneEmma said:


> Amethyst said:
> 
> 
> > The reality of living on benefits for the majority of people is not "easy"
> ...


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## Amethyst (Jun 16, 2010)

Horse and Hound said:


> To put it bluntly, yes, that's the consequences. Have to face the fact you need to provide for the child YOU brought into this world.


If that's your opinion, fair enough. Personally I would not want to see little children starving because their mothers would not work. As I have said, I would not want to see a return of children begging on street corners.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

Amethyst said:


> If that's your opinion, fair enough. Personally I would not want to see little children starving because their mothers *would not work*. As I have said, I would not want to see a return of children begging on street corners.


And there's the cruix of it. WILL not, not CANNOT, WILL not. To me refusing to work to provide for your child is nothing short of neglect. Of course, I'm not a complete bitch. I'd hate to see those kids doing that in all reality but it f***ng annoys me that that is how it has to be. But they would also be taken into care I would suspect? Now that is a cause more worthy of my money if you ask me. Care for neglected children.

Can I ask yo this though? We get little old people freezing in their homes because they can't afford a gas bill. They've paid tax all their lives and what help do they get?

Diddly squat?

Infuriates me.


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

absolutely....I pay for all mine....and then it seems everybody elses...Ther must be soup for the hungry and the hostel for the homeless, that obvious,....but I would rather kids had help with university fees from state than giving money and houses to any teen who will have a kid every few years...
I know peeps who seriously moved to UK, cos there they and kids can live without working - they are just LAUGHING in your face..now u lost university funds...
IT is crazy - now my kids will never afford to study - so as is no point then to stay in education, try to get qualification, well paid job eventually...they may as well drop out and CLAIM< CLAIM...

There must be help for widows etc..unpredictable chages in life...but if someone gets pregnant should think themselves how to manage...there are creches, nannysharing etc...

There are no funds for cancer drugs...etc...yet lots of "bad back" strappy men hang around! Know some personally...:eek6:

Their kids have what I cannot afford...cos being on benefit gives them time to other ummm activities....(like smuggling big time)...my kids see it and ask what is on ?:


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Amethyst said:


> The reality of living on benefits for the majority of people is not "easy"
> 
> I do agree there are some who are "on the fiddle" and work the system to their benefit. The majority simply exist and that in my experience goes for the majority of single mums with young children. Just my thoughts
> 
> In the ideal world rolleyes of course no children would be cared for by single parents, but we live in a less than ideal world alas and until people become perfect ...


I see young single mums with the latest fashion, fancy prams designer gear on the kids and never without a *** in their mouths. You ask them why they arnt working and theres no one to look after the kids, then i wonder who looks after the kids while they are out every weekend.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

I was in town the other day admiring a pair of Uggs at £220 I've been scrimping and saving every spare £1 I have for. I'm only £50 off now so I'm hoping after christmas... :thumbup: but anyway, as I'm there looking at them this girl comes over, and picks them up.

"ooh aint they nice."

"Yeah, tell me about it" I said, "i'm only £50 off now...hopefully in january I can get them."

"Ohhh, I might come back tomorrow, I get my next lot of child benefit through.." 

I walked away at this point. Could have screamed. 

What's happening to her kids now then, if she's spending her money on fecking Ugg boots?!?!


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

Horse and Hound said:


> I was in town the other day admiring a pair of Uggs at £220 I've been scrimping and saving every spare £1 I have for. I'm only £50 off now so I'm hoping after christmas... :thumbup: but anyway, as I'm there looking at them this girl comes over, and picks them up.
> 
> "ooh aint they nice."
> 
> ...


OMG i can believe it as well how many do you see with the cheap versions, for all these that see the benefit life as a hard life dont live amongst or have to associate with them because i know of none that struggle and they freely tell you so, they are proud of the life and this sadly is what we have created.

Waht would most young working person do if their cooker,washer broke down? they would have to either wait or spend money that they would have rather not have. What would the benefit claimers do, get a crisis loan  easy life.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

haeveymolly said:


> Waht would most young working person do if their cooker,washer broke down? they would have to either wait or spend money that they would have rather not have. What would the benefit claimers do, get a crisis loan  easy life.


I'd cry if my cooker/washer broke!!!

I'd have to dip into savings, which I'd be right royally effed If I didn't have, or be seriously skint for 3 months and live off microwaved meals/washing at mums until I could afford a new one!

Or I could apply for a crisis loan I think though, from the bank of mum and dad. But again, there we have it. Something my parents have worked all their lived to do, be able to provide for their kids.


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## WelshOneEmma (Apr 11, 2009)

Horse and Hound said:


> I was in town the other day admiring a pair of Uggs at £220 I've been scrimping and saving every spare £1 I have for. I'm only £50 off now so I'm hoping after christmas... :thumbup: but anyway, as I'm there looking at them this girl comes over, and picks them up.
> 
> "ooh aint they nice."
> 
> ...


You should go with Celtic Sheepskin ones! They are made in the UK and just as good as Uggs, plus a lot cheaper (Usually £50 ish!). I love mine (i have a few pairs) and some are machine washable (tested it on my popper ones - awesome).

But yeah, i know how you feel! Stinks doesn't it.


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

WelshOneEmma said:


> You should go with Celtic Sheepskin ones! They are made in the UK and just as good as Uggs, plus a lot cheaper (Usually £50 ish!). I love mine (i have a few pairs) and some are machine washable (tested it on my popper ones - awesome).
> 
> But yeah, i know how you feel! Stinks doesn't it.


I've never heard of them? Are they available online? Might look into them.

But yeah, stinks!


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## WelshOneEmma (Apr 11, 2009)

Horse and Hound said:


> I've never heard of them? Are they available online? Might look into them.
> 
> But yeah, stinks!


Yeah - Sheepskin Footwear and Accessories from Celtic Sheepskin

i love them. they have so much choice and have also found them really helpful to deal with and very quick to despatch. they are made in the uk, using sheep from here and i believe (although not 100%) they use the bits that are not used of sheep killed for meat. i like that idea.

i prefer them to uggs as they are uk made but also a bit different to uggs. so warm - i have lived in them these last few weeks!


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

WelshOneEmma said:


> Yeah - Sheepskin Footwear and Accessories from Celtic Sheepskin
> 
> i love them. they have so much choice and have also found them really helpful to deal with and very quick to despatch. they are made in the uk, using sheep from here and i believe (although not 100%) they use the bits that are not used of sheep killed for meat. i like that idea.
> 
> i prefer them to uggs as they are uk made but also a bit different to uggs. so warm - i have lived in them these last few weeks!


I've been living in my Hunters, but they are really a work boot if you get me for horsey stuff, not really fashionable and I'd like something functional to walk to the pub in and still have warm feet!

Thanks I'll look into them!


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## WelshOneEmma (Apr 11, 2009)

Horse and Hound said:


> I've been living in my Hunters, but they are really a work boot if you get me for horsey stuff, not really fashionable and I'd like something functional to walk to the pub in and still have warm feet!
> 
> Thanks I'll look into them!


I really am living in mine at the mo, and plan to get some more in the new year, and some for the oh too.

and i meant that the boots are usually £50 cheaper than uggs (in the same style) not that they were £50 (think i caused some confusion). they start at around £90, but they are so worth it. and the staff are very helpful and easy to talk to if you have issues (i should get commission - i put loads of people on to these!)


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## poohdog (May 16, 2010)

I've seen some threads go off topic....but this one's a classic.


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## haeveymolly (Mar 7, 2009)

poohdog said:


> I've seen some threads go off topic....but this one's a classic.


:thumbup: were experts:lol::lol:


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## Horse and Hound (May 12, 2010)

poohdog said:


> I've seen some threads go off topic....but this one's a classic.


Perhaps it can go back on topic by recommending the cheaper boots to those on benefits.


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