# I can't stand my dog



## kesslet0 (Oct 16, 2013)

I know that this is going to sound horrible but I'm at my wits end. Its a long one so stay with me...

My partner decided he wanted a dog. I was undecided. He then decided he wanted a puppy. I said that this was a bad idea as we both worked full time, and the puppy would be home alone all day and it would be difficult to train him, and this wouldn't be fair on the dog. 

I came home one day after work to find a 8 week old springer spaniel puppy in the living room. I was not impressed. He said he would train him and walk him, and everything. I asked him if he had done his research on Springer Spaniels before he went and got him, and he said no he just looked cute! So here I am with this little puppy who needed obedience training, toilet training, and would grow up to be extremely excitable and high maintenance. 

The dog is now 2 and half. And the last 2 years have been hell! My partner did nothing. I was left to train him, walk him, feed him etc... And to make matters worse he completely undermined everything I did with the dog. Meaning, we agreed no dog on the sofa or in the bedroom. I'm there training him to stay off the sofa, and as soon as my back is turned my partner is inviting the dog onto the sofa, and snuggling up to him in bed! 

I am now 33 weeks pregnant and will be having a c -section in 5 weeks time. I cannot take care of this dog on my own with a new born and recovering from a c- section. My partner thinks that playing with the dog is enough. He leaves early in the morning, is out all day, then spends a few hours with him in the evening before going to bed. He sometimes works at weekends, if he's not working then these days he's either playing golf or doing something else. The dog never sees him, and this is starting to have an effect. The dog loves my partner and just wants to spend some time with him, and he is being neglected. 

I am at home with him all day and its so tiring. I have developed a condition called pelvic girdle pain which means I can't walk far. When I do get out the house I have to use crutches. So you can imagine how difficult it is for me to walk the dog. I try to stimulate him at home by playing in the garden and teaching him new tricks, but he's just not interested. He prefers to spend his day whining and barking at the window at every car or person who walks past in the hope that its my partner coming home. 

Because I can't get out to walk him, I rely on my partner to help me out. But if he comes home from work and I ask him to take the dog for a walk I just get moaned at that he's tired. So sometimes the dog won't get walked for a week at a time. We can't afford to pay someone to come and walk him with a baby on the way. And there's no one who can help me out. 

I can't take this anymore. I am so anger with my partner who went and got this dog without asking me, then refused to take on the responsibility. Now I'm pregnant I hoped he'd step up but he hasn't and I can't take care of this dog anymore. His mum and dad have always said if we start to struggle with him that they would take him on. The dog loves my partners parents, he gets to much fuss and attention when he's there. He goes on walks and runs around the field 3 times a day. (Sometimes they have him for the day if they can see I'm struggling, but they can't take him every day). I know that he would be so much happier with them. I would never rehome him to a dog shelter or someone else. But I know he'd love it at his parents and they only live down the road so my partner can visit whenever he wants. But my partner refuses to give him up. 

Am I being unreasonable???


----------



## freckles (May 8, 2008)

No you're not being unreasonable!. but you partner is, as well as being a complete ar*e... 

I would let his parents take the dog, its obvious he cant be bothered with the dog, the dog is going to suffer even more once you have had the baby, and the baby must come first... 

The dog will have a better life, and be happy.... YOU will be happy, and so will your baby...and if your partner moans then tough hes had 2 years to prove himself regarding the dog and hes let it and you down... 

good luck with the baby xxx


----------



## Pawscrossed (Jul 2, 2013)

Do you think it's better to call this thread I can't stand my partner?

It's not the dog's fault, he didn't choose to be in this situation. Wilfred is a Springer Spaniel and I'd agree that they are demanding but there are worse breeds and at 2 I would guess your dog is past the teenage years. But 2 years is a long time to hold that anger isn't it? I am sorry if this sounds out of turn but on top of this you have a baby on the way and no resolution in sight, why have you waited until now? You said your inlaws can take the dog but then you say they can't have him every day, is that age? Can they talk him round if you can't? I'm confused by that. Poor dog must be at his wits end too.


----------



## Skinnywhippet (May 23, 2013)

Unreasonable? HELL NO!!! I think you've been a saint to stick it this far. 

I wanted my pup, but there are still days when I'd dearly love to turn the clock back to before I got her. I can't imagine dealing with all the responsibility if she'd been basically dumped on me by a selfish partner. 

Your o/h needs to grow up. If he can't or won't step up, the dog needs to go to his parents. And I hope he's more mature about putting the baby first when it arrives ..


----------



## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

Personally no I don't think you are being unreasonable, due to your circumstances at the time, you told him that you didn't think it was a good idea and would be difficult, but in spite of that for 2 1/2 years you have done all the training and walking and everything else by the sounds of it, and considering it was him that wanted the dog and got him in the first place I think you have been very fair and more then done your bit.

Going through a difficult pregnancy and the level of care a new baby needs at the beginning, its not going to get easier for you if he wont take some of the responsibilities and take over some of the care and duties for your dog.
He isn't being fair to you or His dog as far as I can see.

I think you have two options, either he has to take over from you doing a good deal of the care and training and exercise, and if he doesn't and you cant cope and the dog wont be having what he needs then if the dog loves your OHs parents and spends a good deal of time there anyway from what you have said, and is used to and happy when he is with them, and they are willing or would love to have him, then rehome him with your In laws.


----------



## CavalierOwner (Feb 5, 2012)

Wow, no wonder you are angry with your OH! At the end of the day none of this is the dogs fault, it's your OHs. He shouldn't have got the dog if he wasn't going to do anything with it. I really can't believe he's making you struggle and not doing anything!

Tell him to pull his finger out and do the work, if he doesn't send him to his parents with his dog!


----------



## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

And you are having a child with this person?


----------



## MrsGiggles (Feb 12, 2013)

I think your partner needs to grow up! Tell your partner that looking after the dog would be a great way to get an idea what it's going to be like having a baby! If he can't take the responsibility of the dog then I would let his parents take him,I hope he's going to be more hands on with the baby,also I had pgp when I was having my twins so I know how painfull it is,he should be helping you out and supporting you not leaving it all up to you.

Massive hugs


----------



## 2Hounds (Jun 24, 2009)

If they can take care of the dog then seems best for the all involved. To be honest I feel sorry for you as I doubt partner will be any more helpful once you've had the baby.


----------



## Lilylass (Sep 13, 2012)

rona said:


> And you are having a child with this person?


My thoughts exactly 

If he's too tired to take a dog for a walk, where's he going to find the energy for a child


----------



## labradrk (Dec 10, 2012)

I think the title is a little misleading. I don't believe you can't stand him, otherwise you wouldn't have had him for 2 1/2 years, nor would you be on here making this thread and wanting what's best for him. So, that's a good thing. 

Your OH is a selfish tit, put bluntly. It sounds as though he wants a dog for the odd walk and rough and tumble then for you to pick up the pieces the rest of the time. AKA, he wants a dog that suits him without doing any work. I don't wish to be sexist but I know quite a few blokes that are exactly like him and it's hard to convince them to change....

Maybe give him an ultimatum? if he wants to keep the dog then HE has to be responsible for walking him twice daily, entertaining the dog after work etc etc?


----------



## SpringerHusky (Nov 6, 2008)

This is similar to how I got my springer, he too was gotten because he was cute only he was a gift for a 13 year old who lost interest after 2 weeks. He drove everyone insane and they couldn't cope by 10 months and put him for free on gumtree, I snagged him 5 minutes after the advert went up.

No, you have every right to be angry at your partner.

Honestly I think it would do You, the baby to come, the dog and everyone else better if the lad went and lived with your parent in laws. Sounds like they are better fit and the stress would not be a good idea.

Go for it, do what's best for everyone x

P.s take a rolled up newspaper and hit your partner on the head with it, tell him if he wants a dog to get a stuffed toy or a robot.


----------



## lilythepink (Jul 24, 2013)

Hi. I had pelvic girdle pain with my first baby. Its so wearing, can't sleep, can't sit down, can't get up......horrendous.

A new baby is a magical time.

There are some good rescues that specialise in spaniels.

Your partner got the dog so its his responsibility..tell him the dog has to go, let him worry where it goes.you have enough on your plate already.Maybe if he faces up to this responsibilty he will have a bit more thought for the whole situation.

I am the dog person in my house but my husband enjoys them too.ultimately my responsibilty.


----------



## sskmick (Feb 4, 2008)

rona said:


> And you are having a child with this person?


To be fair, for 2 and a half years the OP has stepped up and taken full responsibility for the dog. It is now that she can't physically walk the dog that she see's her partner in his true colours.

I can't really offer any advice as it was me who wanted my pets, and I take full responsibility for their care.

I would suggest you put your foot down and tell him straight, to get off his butt and walk the dog. Yes he may be tired but a bit of fresh air will do him good, it will blow the cobwebs off and you could have a nice hot toddy ready for when he comes home.

Good luck


----------



## springerpete (Jun 24, 2010)

For everyones sake re home the dog with the parents in law.


----------



## Flamingoes (Dec 8, 2012)

springerpete said:


> For everyones sake re home the dog with the parents in law.


I quoted lots of things because for some reason this really irked me but I'll go with the above and seethe in silence *crawls back into hole to do so*


----------



## piggybaker (Feb 10, 2009)

Just take the dogs to the inlaws don't ask just do. The health of you and your unborn child should be YOUR priority , if the dog will be loved and looked after and you still get to see it, just do it, don't tell your partner just load the dog into the car and take it!! If your partner wants it he can go and get it ... That's if he isn't to tired after work! I have had the hip displacement it's sodding uncomfortable I feel for you Hun... Be strong take the dog.


----------



## SLB (Apr 25, 2011)

Your poor dog  

How is your OH going to step up and be a Dad when he can't even help out with the dog?
I wouldn't even dream of having a child with someone who cannot even help out and look after a dog. 

There is a very good saying; you can always tell a man's heart by the way he treats his animals. 

Or something along those lines. Please don't take your frustration out on your poor dog. He didn't ask to be born, he didn't ask to be picked up by your OH and he didn't ask you to look after him. 

It's brilliant that you've done all that for him, but don't shed the hatred onto him. He is as innocent as your unborn child in all of this. 

Keep plugging on, so many dogs are given up because of a new baby. He doesn't deserve that. Please don't give up on his life because you're bringing in another. Sit down and talk to your OH. Tell him to grow up. Tell him you want him just to walk the dog for 30 minutes in the morning at least - just to help you out. Or perhaps he does that and he feeds him in the evening. Just something to help you out. 

If he can relent on one thing, that will help you, then it will help. My OH can't help out as much as he would like due to our relationship and geography so when he does come back, he'll take the dogs for a good run or he'll ask me what they're being fed and feed it to them. It's not much, but it helps.


----------



## Hanlou (Oct 29, 2012)

Credit to you for doing all that you've done for this dog for two years. 

My sister had something similar to you with her last pregnancy and it is awful so I really feel for you. 

I think everything has been said really - if your OH won't change (and it sounds as if that is unlikely tbh - a true dog lover would not have left you to it as he has done) then you have no choice in my honest opinion but to rehome the dog.

The dog deserves better and *you* most definitely deserve better! I wish you well with the baby xx


----------



## piggybaker (Feb 10, 2009)

SLB said:


> Your poor dog
> 
> How is your OH going to step up and be a Dad when he can't even help out with the dog?
> I wouldn't even dream of having a child with someone who cannot even help out and look after a dog.
> ...


 And in the mean time the ops blood pressure and hip problems will become a serious problem. When the dog is gone she doesn't have to worry anymore. If the dog is barking at cars and everything that goes past the window she may have problems, sounds like a very frustrated pup to me , 
OP let the dog go, a frustrated dog will be Avery sad frustrated dog when a baby comes along and possibly a ticking time bomb .. And please people let's be down to earth about this and not slam the OH or the OP she is venting let's give her advice not point the finger and lecture... The OH is her choice, we are not her parents. Advice she has asked for advice we should give!!!


----------



## sailor (Feb 5, 2010)

From an outsiders point of view from what little you have mentioned....

He sounds completely selfish to you, his unborn Child and the dog.
You are struggling with pregnancy and caring for the dog, not to mention the dog is going stir crazy, and his excuse is he is 'too tired' to help? 

You are not being unreasonable. Has the dog settled into his new home yet?


----------



## piggybaker (Feb 10, 2009)

SLB I'm not sure how I ended up quoting your post sorry, my answer wasnt aimed at you personally . I'm replying on my phone technology isn't my strong point LOL


----------



## Hanwombat (Sep 5, 2013)

He sounds like a complete and utter slob!! Well done for taking care of the dog because your negligent OH couldn't be bothered


----------



## Freddie and frank (Mar 26, 2012)

springerpete said:


> For everyones sake re home the dog with the parents in law.


Do this and then concentrate on yourself and your baby.


----------



## Nicky10 (Jan 11, 2010)

Rehome the dog then the oh if he's this bad with a dog what will he be like at 3am when the baby's crying


----------



## SLB (Apr 25, 2011)

piggybaker said:


> And in the mean time the ops blood pressure and hip problems will become a serious problem. When the dog is gone she doesn't have to worry anymore. If the dog is barking at cars and everything that goes past the window she may have problems, sounds like a very frustrated pup to me ,
> OP let the dog go, a frustrated dog will be Avery sad frustrated dog when a baby comes along and possibly a ticking time bomb .. And please people let's be down to earth about this and not slam the OH or the OP she is venting let's give her advice not point the finger and lecture... The OH is her choice, we are not her parents. Advice she has asked for advice we should give!!!





piggybaker said:


> SLB I'm not sure how I ended up quoting your post sorry, my answer wasnt aimed at you personally . I'm replying on my phone technology isn't my strong point LOL


:lol: I was ready for a full blown rant at you then - like where did I say any of that in my post. No worries


----------



## Charity (Apr 17, 2013)

Do your in-laws know how bad you are feeling about this, surely they can see your are struggling? If so, or if not, could you explain to them and ask them to take the dog then just do it and explain to your OH afterwards. If he doesn't like it, tell him this is serious and he hasn't been listening so you've had to take matters into your own hands as he had the opportunity to help and keep the dog. Tell him its that or the dog gets rehomed elsewhere which would be worse. You have to do something for the sake of yourself, your health and your baby.


----------



## cinnamontoast (Oct 24, 2010)

piggybaker said:


> Just take the dogs to the inlaws don't ask just do.


Exactly this: he fetched it home without warning, you can take it to the in laws without warning.


----------



## mollymo (Oct 31, 2009)

I think you have done a great job with such a selfish partner, but its time to sit down and make a decision for this dog's future.
Get your inlaws to have a quiet word in his selfish ear for the dog's sake.


----------



## shirleystarr (Mar 22, 2009)

I would just take the dog to his parents he sounds very selfish to me He does nothing with the dog which he brought home without consulting you.
If he is too tired for a dog how the heck is he going to cope with a baby crying in the middle of the night
He needs to grow up if you ask me :001_rolleyes:


----------



## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

You mention being home all day...which you obviously need to be because of your condition...but do you think this is a contributory factor...the little woman at home to do washing, cleaning, cooking etc and look after dog too. I'm sort of guessing you won't get much help with the baby when it arrives.If he has the energy to go off playing golf, he can surely just do a half share of the dog care? But I notice on reading more carefully that when you were working full-time the lazy toad left you to care for the dog. There are some people who are daft enough to buy a pet for someone without being 100% sure that they want one. A cat would be one thing...less physically demanding ...but to go out and get a boisterous pup when you are not sure that the other person is really keen on the idea...if the in-laws are happy to take him, I think it's your best option...he can still see the dog (if he really wants to, if he's not too busy doing other things).
Hope you are feeling better!


----------



## Ann Elizabeth (May 12, 2013)

As others have said rehome the dog, with OH's parents if possible, if not there are springer rescues that may be able to take him. 
He is still a young dog and will need a lot of attention and exercise for some years to come, it will become even more difficult to give him the attention he needs once your baby arrives. 
Good luck with everything and I hope you are able to resolve it in time to have your baby calmly and safely.


----------



## Guest (Oct 16, 2013)

I'm in agreement with everyone that has said take your dog down to the other half's parents, I'd be tempted to take the other half there too with his bags packed.

Hope it all works out.


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

piggybaker said:


> Just take the dogs to the inlaws don't ask just do. The health of you and your unborn child should be YOUR priority , if the dog will be loved and looked after and you still get to see it, just do it, don't tell your partner just load the dog into the car and take it!! If your partner wants it he can go and get it ... That's if he isn't to tired after work! I have had the hip displacement it's sodding uncomfortable I feel for you Hun... Be strong take the dog.


Good advice - I know you are scheduled for a C-section, but suppose baby decides to come early, and your stuck in with a hyperactive, under-exercised dippy dog, and the ambulance men can't even get in?

Take him to your in-laws. Tell your partner why. If he has any consideration at all for you and your unborn child, he will see that there is no other option unless he is prepared to step up to the mark. (And I wouldn't take his word for it - if he's prepared to drive to his parents every day for 6 months to walk and play with the dog, tell him he can have it back - not before!)


----------



## Malmum (Aug 1, 2010)

Of course you're not being unreasonable although you are being unreasonably 'put on' and with the extremely debilitating condition you have where is your partners concern for YOU? 

All that's going to happen is you'll not only have the dog to deal with but be a full time mum too, I wouldn't put too much faith in getting any help baby wise from your partner if he can't even walk the dog. For goodness sake we are not living in the dark ages where women were subservient and men walked all over them, this is 2013 and we all have equal rights. Your partner needs to mature quite a lot if he's going to be a father and you need to put your foot down and demand some help. Personally if it were me and I had parents/relatives or friends I could stay with I'd bugger off for a while and let him deal with the consequences, I bet he'd soon give this poor dog to his parents then. What a selfish, wicked attitude he has to just brush your plight aside and leave the dog to you. Honestly I'm so angry that he can't see how your condition is affecting you let alone having to walk the dog - how can a person who loves someone do that?  if you were one of my daughters I'd come round and take you well away from that situation. No doubt if he saw this thread he'd say we're all a load of dog loving loonies and brush it off because its in HIS interest to do so. You deserve better, the dog deserves better and your partner needs to be aware that there is an Animal Welfare Act for a reason and part of that act includes exercise which shouldn't be being given by you AT ALL, let alone now and after your baby is born. Goodness I thought men with that kind of attitude towards women were a thing of the past. 

You need respect and care and it seems to get that you need to take drastic action, you mustn't let yourself be a door mat any longer and to my mind you've got very little to lose by giving him an ultimatum.


----------



## Baggio (Oct 14, 2013)

OMG!! Of course you're not being unreasonable...I can't imagine that he'd be so irresponsible...just bringing the pup in without realizing that you'd have to take care of him for a decade and a half!!

It seems that he's unrelenting about letting your dog go...so you're probably just gonna have to make boundaries clear - if he's not gonna take care of the dog, you're gonna take him to the animal shelter - it's as simple as that - I know how that feels, taking care of a dog while constantly having my efforts questioned and criticized...you're already done everything you can over and beyond your responsibilities. I feel sorry for your springer spaniel...but if he's going to impose such a strain on you (and this is beyond physical, though you have my sympathies for your pelvic girdle pain, I hope you get well soon! There's the emotional strain as well), you had better let him go (as a mum, you'll need to devote all your time to your baby...there's no time for your dog!). 

Either the tasks of taking care of the dog are delegated responsibly between you, or he has to go. 

Anyway, good luck with your pregnancy!! Hope you'll have a healthy baby :biggrin:


----------



## Picklelily (Jan 2, 2013)

I think everyone has given you great advice already.

I would suggest that you write a version of you original post out and give it to your partner. Sometimes people can blunder along without realising how desperate things have become for you.

There are some people who need whacking over the head with a shovel before realisation comes to them.



Set a time frame for action, in this situation I suggest its only days. Put down the actions you want from him and what will happen if he doesn't follow that. Put it all in writing clearly. Perhaps he just thinks you are nagging (we know you aren't) and isn't really listening.



This is a time when he should be running around doing everything for you. Does he realise in those first few months he is going to have to step up massively. I remember in those early days my OH having to do much of the cooking and housework because of how tired and busy I was with the baby.



Finally book your partner in for a health test at the Doctors, tell him if he is that exhausted after work that he can't walk the dog he must be ill. Perhaps having to do this will shock him in shifting his backside into gear, then again there is just the faint chance he does have a health problem that is making him tired. I'm trying to be generous here  Plus the practice nurse can then give him the 5th degree on how difficult things are for you.




Edit: I should have added if he fails to follow your written ultimatum. rehome the dog to his parents. Make sure they know why too. As a mother of a son I would kill mine if he treated his pregnant partner this way.


----------



## Cheryl89 (Jun 24, 2013)

This spookily sounds like me.....And exactly how I ended up with a springer. 

Minus the pregnancy of course though :lol: but my OH decided on a springer, did no research and collected her... she was such a handful and he promised to walk, train and not allow her on sofa... he does EXACTLY the same thing as your OH but even though he's crap with our dog he's brilliant at everything else so I can't stay too mad at him. 

I walk Engel, bath her, feed her and since breaking her legs I carry her everywhere, entertain her all the time whilst holding down a full time demanding job, running and cleaning a four bedroom house, having to do dinner every single night and in between that managing to fit in my violin lessons, german lessons and make time for friends/family and OH.

Since having Engel it has completely turned our lives upside down, she became the "third" addition in our relationship as I was left to get up at 2am& 4am whilst she was 8 weeks old and go to work by 5.30am - Shattered wasn't even the WORD and I was so lacking in sleep and looking after myself I'd reguarly have break downs because it messed up my whole sleep pattern and work pattern.

She's now 11 months, and had a terrible accident so naturally I'm spending more time with her but if I knew what half you guys knew back in Jan 13 I wouldn't of got a springer - I'd of got a mongrel rescue but we've got Engel and I can't go back in time, and sometimes she still frustrates me so much because she's so young and full of so much energy but I don't look to my OH to help me. Engel is the most loyal loving dog and she gets me out the house when I need 30 mins to myself and I can literally take her anywhere with me (not as of late...but when she's better she visits my mum with me etc)

I either do it myself, or get my friends/family to help - afterall they are the ones who don't have to take them home everyday/everynight so always happy to help me out and don't get me wrong, the OH will do his bit - but only if I ask him to carry her down the stairs because I'm tired from working all day but it's still not without his "huff puffs!"

So no you're not unreasonable and at some point we've either gone through it ourselves or experienced little snippets of what you have 

Good luck sweets, just remember it's not doggies fault it's silly OH for not doing his research in the first place! xxxxxxx


----------



## Lexiedhb (Jun 9, 2011)

On the grounds you provide ALL care for the dog- the decision is yours. Speak to in laws- explain situation, give dog to them. BOOT partner firmly up the ASS.

Have to say it was getting a dog and seeing how little my Ex was willing to do with him that confirmed I would never be able to have kids with him......... to lazy to care for a dog to lazy to care for a kid IMO


----------



## ClaireandDaisy (Jul 4, 2010)

I think the OP needs to take charge of her own life and not expect others to do it for her. Countless women have been in the situation where they have needed to stand up and say No More. 
It`s time for that now. 
JMO.


----------



## MollySmith (May 7, 2012)

I have to agree with some posts here that it's the partner not the poor dog at fault, he was dropped into this life but goodness you're having to pay the price.

I worry that if you take the dog to the OH's parents that he'll simply go and bring it back, there's not much to stop him and does that ultimately solve the problem of your partner's ability to face up to the consequences of his actions. My husband had problems coping with Molly after an accident and whilst it's not the same situation by far, when he was better he refused to take his fair share of looking after her and I was daft enough to carry on until I dropped. We had some counselling to get us through this blip, it's with Relate and it was worth it to get over this and a big bad of grief that I seem to carry alone. 

Might Relate help or could you get some support through your GP, even if it's just to explain to your partner how painful life is for you physically.

From your post, with the baby due I get the feeling that this issue won't go away so easily as rehoming the dog but more that it lies with you and your partner. Two years is an awful long time to cope with this situation but a long time for your partner to be rewarded for his irresponsible actions. Old habits die hard and all that.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.


----------



## tiddlypup (Oct 4, 2008)

rehome to the inlaws for yours and the dogs sake,other half will get over it and as you say,the dogs not going to be far away xxx


----------



## lostbear (May 29, 2013)

ClaireandDaisy said:


> I think the OP needs to take charge of her own life and not expect others to do it for her. Countless women have been in the situation where they have needed to stand up and say No More.
> It`s time for that now.
> JMO.


I agree but it's much easier to say than do, especially when you are exhaused in late pregnancy, crippled with pain, and your emotions are running the gamut of A to Z on an hourly basis because of hormones and sheer bloody tiredness!

This poor girl must feel like just sitting down and sobbing her heart out. His parents are obviously fairly close, but there is no mention of family or friends to support her.

Bonny lass - try doing NOTHING during the day except lying in bed being kind to yourself - take the dog out if you feel you can cope, but otherwise - NOWT!

No dinner, no washing, no cleaning - the only way to let him know how much you do is not to do it, believe you me! You need to think of your own health, and the baby's - kick that lazy barsteward into touch, or you really will be very ill (and then he'd have to shift his @rse anyway.

And I can tell you now, that if you have a colicky, crying baby (and many are) you will be even more exhausted, especially if you have a section - it takes a lot out of you. Can you go home to your parents for even a few days? Or explain to your GP - possibly get some medical backing for having a rest? You sound like you need it.


----------



## Apollo2012 (Jun 10, 2013)

The dog needs to go live with your OHs parents, you cant do anything strenuous for around 6 weeks when you've had a c section especially not walk a boisterous dog, else you will probably end up back in hospital with pulled stitches. 

Does your OH understand that you cant do anything strenuous for so long after a c section?? if not you need to tell him and you need to tell him unless he starts walking the dog multiple times a day for you then it is going to his parents no discussions, don't ask him, tell him.


----------



## Gemmaa (Jul 19, 2009)

I think you should make him read this thread .


----------



## Burrowzig (Feb 18, 2009)

OP, I wouldn't rehome the dog to your OH's parents; I think you should leave the dog where it is with OH and rehome yourself to the OH's parents, or your own. He sounds like a complete waste of space where taking responsibility for his dog is concerned. Would he be any better with the baby? I wouldn't hold my breath.


----------



## Pointermum (Jul 2, 2010)

I think you knew the answer to the question before you asked it, you just needed the reassurance it's the right thing to do.

Take up the in-laws offer to take the dog, it sounds as if you have given him a chance to "step-up" which he hasn't done. If he is that adamant he wants to stay with the dog I would tell him he can and send him back to his mother as well ! 

I got a puppy when my daughter was 6 months old, MY choice and i still resented the time the dog took away from from my daughter.


----------



## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

Just tell him that you will rehome the dog "for time being"...maybe he will be happy to have him there?

Now and when the baby is born you need to rest!


----------



## Izzysmummy (Oct 12, 2011)

Am I the only one wondering why anyone would want to have a child with this guy? 2 1/2 years of not being able to take care of HIS dog or even bother to take it for a walk would be enough evidence to convince me that he's a lazy so-and-so who wouldn't be a lot of help in raising a child! 

OP I would rehome the dog to your OH's parents, if they're happy to take him on and he's happy with them it seems a good fit all round!

As for your lesser half Id suggest going to stay with parents for a while, someone who would help look after you and allow you to rest up before the baby arrives, you'll need it....from what you've said you'll not get a lot of help from him!


----------



## Picklelily (Jan 2, 2013)

lostbear said:


> I agree but it's much easier to say than do, especially when you are exhaused in late pregnancy, crippled with pain, and your emotions are running the gamut of A to Z on an hourly basis because of hormones and sheer bloody tiredness!
> 
> This poor girl must feel like just sitting down and sobbing her heart out. His parents are obviously fairly close, but there is no mention of family or friends to support her.
> 
> ...


Great post Lostbear I think she needs a little love, so everyone we all need to send some love and support her way.

I don't think there is anyone who has been in a long term relationship who can't say they haven't had moments where they need more support. No matter how great their partner is. I'm sure this lady's OH has many great qualities he is obviously just a bit dim where helping out with the dog is concerned.


----------



## Cheryl89 (Jun 24, 2013)

Picklelily said:


> Great post Lostbear I think she needs a little love, so everyone we all need to send some love and support her way.
> 
> I don't think there is anyone who has been in a long term relationship who can't say they haven't had moments where they need more support. No matter how great their partner is. I'm sure this lady's OH has many great qualities he is obviously just a bit dim where helping out with the dog is concerned.


Exactly! Here here ladies  :biggrin:

Here's some love and support for you xxxxx


----------



## shirleystarr (Mar 22, 2009)

After seeing the OP say this
He leaves early in the morning, is out all day, then spends a few hours with him in the evening before going to bed. He sometimes works at weekends, if he's not working then these days he's either playing golf or doing something else. The dog never sees him, and this is starting to have an effect. The dog loves my partner and just wants to spend some time with him, and he is being neglected. 

It does not sound to me like he has any good qualities ok I don't know him I only know what the OP stated in her post.
Sounds like he does not spend much time with her nor do anything with her at all so what is going to happen when the new baby arrives and the OP has to take it easy for at least 6 weeks heaven knows.
This poor lady has done everything for the dog for a couple of years without support from her OH or that is what it looks like to me
OP take the dog to his parents and then get some well deserved rest You will need to take care of yourself before and after the baby arrives.
You don't hate the dog or you would not have looked after him and tried to train him and with no support from the OH
seems to me he is doing what he wants to do and bugger everyone else


----------

