# my cat doesn't come home anymore



## miaumiau (Apr 21, 2019)

My cat started to behave very strange since a few weeks ago..
He is very much an outdoor boy, who likes to spend time outside but in the evening he would always come back to sleep at home.

Not so much lately and we discovered he spends a lot of time a few houses down on a neighbour's yard, that has a few stray cats.

He sleeps in the bushes there, in his front yard and very strange, when i go there to pick him up, he seems very happy to see me and he comes home with me.

The same thing happened yesterday, around noon, i went there to pick him up, he was very happy to see me and we went home.

He stayed in all afternoon and was sleeping and being very affectionate with us and then in the evening, he left and didn't come back.

I know he won't come back and i would have to go again to pick him up myself...and then again the same scenario, he would go and not come back on his own...

I don't understand why he is doing that, he doesn't want to come back on his own?

I'm very confused because whenever he is at home is is very loving towards us and happy to be around.

Also, this neighbour where he goes, she has a very messy yard, all full of rubbish and she puts food outside for her cats ( she has 4 ) and other cats including mine are coming there.
I'm not happy about this situation, my cat eats premium good quality food and he started to refuse our food because he is eating more of hers...
also not very happy that he is rolling around in those bushes and then comes home all dirty...

I spoke with my neighbour and she promised that she won't put food outside anymore..but i went there the other day and nothing changed, it was food outside and a big mess...

what should i do?
any ideas?


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

The only way I can see for you to stop your cat going back there is to cat proof your garden , cats will go where they want if left to their own devices.
https://www.petforums.co.uk/threads/cat-runs-cat-proofed-gardens.211361/


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## miaumiau (Apr 21, 2019)

that looks like a cage and honestly, i don't think my cat would like that...
I woudn't like to see him in that....like a big cage, "prison"

I was looking for a more practical solution
thanks anyway


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

miaumiau said:


> that looks like a cage and honestly, i don't think my cat would like that...
> I woudn't like to see him in that....like a big cage, "prison"
> 
> I was looking for a more practical solution
> thanks anyway


Cat proofing your garden _is_ a very practical solution. It won't feel like a "cage" unless your garden is the size of a cage!

I have cat-proofed my garden and it's the best thing I have ever done for my cats. My garden has trees for them to climb, shrubs to lie under, birds and squirrels to watch, cat-trees and summer houses to snooze in.

My system is based on Purrfect Fence, with its folding brackets ------

There are 2 other ways to stop your cat going to the neighbour's house, but these are less practical than cat proofing your garden :---

1/ keep him indoors 24/7

2/ move to a new area at least 5 miles away (to stop him finding his way back)

There are no other reliable solutions I'm afraid. Sorry.....


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

miaumiau said:


> that looks like a cage and honestly, i don't think my cat would like that...
> I woudn't like to see him in that....like a big cage, "prison"
> 
> I was looking for a more practical solution
> thanks anyway


What looks like a cage ? I don't think keeping your cat safe and contained on his own property is in any way similar to a cage 

You really don't have a lot of options as @chillminx has said if you don't want him to keep going back there you have to somehow stop him and catproofing / keeping him indoors or moving well out of the area are your only choices.


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

I agree with the others. You can't control your neighbor, only your cat. So you accept things as they are, or you keep him contained.

Why not scroll through the cat proofing thread and get some ideas, read how other people's cats have taken to them..


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## miaumiau (Apr 21, 2019)

waw, just waw!
can you guys, just stop bombarding me with your advertising??!

or, should i say maybe one person with different user names?!

I saw your fence, i personally don't think it's such a great idea, and, anyway, my husband can build that system at a fraction of your price.


What I was really hoping was a nice conversation with other cat owners that have been in my situation...

I also found a lot of interesting replies online and on other forums....


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

miaumiau said:


> waw, just waw!
> can you guys, just stop bombarding me with your advertising??!
> 
> or, should i say maybe one person with different user names?!
> ...


Did you actually look through the link that was posted ,it was put together by forum members who have for many reasons decided to keep their cats on their own property , apart from a few who have used a professional company to secure their property the rest are all DIY projects .

As for the conversation with other cat owners who have found themselves in a similar position there really is no other option to stopping your cat from wandering somewhere you would rather it didn't but if you have found some interesting replies "on line" and on other forums why don't you share them with us as it is always useful to read about other methods


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## miaumiau (Apr 21, 2019)

I'm sure people are smart enough to go on google and look for themselves...

as for other solutions, yes, i'll go there and have a long extensive chat with my neighbour, we can find a common solution, she can feed her cats somewhere else, etc

I can write her a letter and explain that i'm bothered about the situation
I can even go to the police if i find evidence she is keeping my cat
My cat is microchipped and I'm her owner - keeping a cat that is not yours can be considered a theft, not many people actually know that

and if nothing works, my husband can build that fence at a fraction of the price you are advertising....
nobody in their wright mind will pay that much for a fence

anyway, can you stop bothering me with your advertisement, and give the chance to other people to reply to my post

thank you


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

miaumiau said:


> I'm sure people are smart enough to go on google and look for themselves...
> 
> as for other solutions, yes, i'll go there and have a long extensive chat with my neighbour, we can find a common solution, she can feed her cats somewhere else, etc
> 
> ...


I give up...........you obviously have not bothered to look through the link so I will not try again to explain , good luck with stopping your cat from wandering off and even better luck trying to get the person to feed *her cats* somewhere other than on her own property .


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## miaumiau (Apr 21, 2019)

good luck to you, if you "think" that you hold "the only solution to a problem" and bother people with aggressive advertisment!

and yes, i did have a look at your link, honestly, you don't know what my husband can do and not do, he had a look at your link too, and again, you are assuming that "you are the only one" who can do this..

as for having a chat with my neighbour, yes, talking with people, you would be surprised usually works!

and she is feeding the cats outside her front door 
I'm sure she can move the things in the garden, also her cats live inside too, she can feed them there...
but again, it's no solution to my problem other then your system

I understand that, for now, please give up and maybe leave other people to answer


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## Forester (Dec 2, 2012)

miaumiau said:


> good luck to you, if you "think" that you hold "the only solution to a problem" and bother people with aggressive advertisment!
> 
> and yes, i did have a look at your link, honestly, you don't know what my husband can do and not do, he had a look at your link too, and again, you are assuming that "you are the only one" who can do this..
> 
> ...


but it's *not *@buffie's system . She's very kindly provided you with a link to a whole host of ideas which have been employed by forum members over the years.


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

miaumiau said:


> good luck to you, if you "think" that you hold "the only solution to a problem" and bother people with aggressive advertisment!
> 
> and yes, i did have a look at your link, honestly, you don't know what my husband can do and not do, he had a look at your link too, and again, you are assuming that "you are the only one" who can do this..
> 
> ...


I think you may have misunderstood.
The Cat Runs and Enclosures thread is not advertising ,but showing the solutions available both commercially and DIY. Many of the solutions in the thread are built by the members themselves, I'm sure any person with DIY skillls could make such an enclosure or fencing.
Also
it was suggested that you talk to your neighbour, so good that you've done that.
Just another question,but could be relevant, is your cat neutered ? Sorry if you've said, but he could be wandering in search of a mate as it's breeding season. How old is he by the way ?


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

Forester said:


> but it's *not *@buffie's system . She's very kindly provided you with a link to a whole host of ideas which have been employed by forum members over the years.


Thanks @Forester I have tried to reason with @miaumiau but I fear she cant read past the first few posts that have links to some excellent professional ideas .


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

LOL. Obviously the OP didn't bother to read through the cat proofing thread.

@miaumiau You told us you already spoke to the neighbor and nothing was resolved. Bottom line, as I already said, you can control your cat, and that is the only thing you have control over. The neighbor is allowed to put food out for her cats. She hasn't "stolen" your cat. If you won't keep your cat from roaming, this is what you have to deal with. The police will not care.

If you've found better advice somewhere else you are welcome to follow it, there is no need to try to start an argument here.


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## sandy-cat (Feb 24, 2018)

I've been on these forums for a while, please trust me when I say that you are not being advertised to and that the above posters are all very different people!  

I do sympathise as I allow my cat outside as well (there are strong views about allowing your cats to roam freely on these forums). But in this situation I can understand where the others are coming from. Yes the first step would be to talk to your neighbour and ask her not to put food out, but ultimately you can't stop her from doing so. So the only viable alternative does seem to be to keep your cat in or cat-proof your garden. You can do the latter in many different ways which don't look like cages and can actually be very attractive. 

Best of luck.


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## Forester (Dec 2, 2012)

buffie said:


> Thanks @Forester I have tried to reason with @miaumiau but I fear she cant read past the first few posts that have links to some excellent professional ideas .


Yes I think that she may have looked at @chillminx's ( excellent ) link thinking that she's advertising (despite it not being her product, only one she's copied.)then got it confused with your link.


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## buffie (May 31, 2010)

Forester said:


> Yes I think that she may have looked at @chillminx's ( excellent ) link thinking that she's advertising (despite it not being her product, only one she's copied.)then got it confused with your link.


You could be right there but the fact that CM's link was posted after miaumiau described something as looking like a cage it seems unlikely but I guess we will never know


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

@miaumiau

You posted on the forum asking for opinions/advice as to what to do about your cat going to the neighbour's house, and forum members tried to help you, giving perfectly good advice..

No-one here is advertising anything to you, we merely gave you links to ideas that you might want to look at or copy. If your husband is a DIY expert then he should easily be able to copy one of the systems in the thread that Buffie kindly linked for you, and then you can save *loads *of money!

You said you had already spoken to the neighbour and she had promised to make changes, but then nothing changed. If you think she'll take notice of you next time, then of course talk to her again, as soon as you can! Why wait!

Bear in mind your neighbour has the right to feed her cats anywhere she likes on her own property. She is not stealing your cat if he helps himself to food she puts outside for her cats and if she is not preventing him from returning to his home, then she is not to blame when your cat fails to return to you.


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## Anita1234 (Oct 24, 2018)

I think you posted with a different account , nobody is trying to sell you anything and you asked for advice , sorry I if you don’t like it , I would be very annoyed at a strange cat turning up to my garden and helping himself to my food, and then this person thinking I’m stealing his cat , definitely the police will have a laugh if you report your neighbour is trying to steal your cat , she could say he is nuisance , she must be very polite , I wouldn’t be if a neighbour tells me I shouldn’t feed my cats in my own property , strange the cat prefers the untidy yard and the cheap food , just hope he doesn’t end up lost because you don’t want to do anything to stop him from roaming


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