# Is a rabbit a good pet for a child?



## Wildlife fanatic (Jul 21, 2019)

My 6yr old daughter has just told me that she wants a Rabbit but, because we have a dog, I'm not sure if that's a good idea.

Should I say no or will it not make a difference that we have a dog?


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

I’d say no.

They should be kept in pairs for starters so that’s double everything.

Rabbits often don’t like being handled (at least at first) and if kids get nipped they can get fearful and not want to handle the rabbits again.

Kids also very often lose interest once the novelty wears off so unless YOU want 2 rabbits to dote on, then it’s another no from me.

Rabbits actually have quite a lot of requirements in terms of habitat, care, vaccinations, etc. in order to be happy and healthy so it’s not as easy as some people think.

They can live 7-10 years - a big commitment.


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

nope
shell get fed up and, at 6 yrs of age, it wont be hers, you, as the adult, will be responsible and paying out for everything, vaccinations, bedding, feed, stuff for fly strike, dentals, scrubbing the hutch out
and
what if it turns out to be an antisocial one ( preferably it should be a same sex pair or neutered pair please anyway) or you have to go down to feed, clean etc in deep snow, cant find a rabbit sitter? no holidays for you then
until you too get bored and resent them, and they, like 100s of other rabbits bought for children, far too young to know what responsibility entails, will end up languishing in a hutch in the garden,slowly declining into death, 
get her two same sex rats
great little creatures, that actually want to interract, and, if purchased responsibly, come already tame and handleable
and, because they only live 2-3yrs, have a short enough lifespan for her ( meaning you as the adult) wont get fed up with them

me, i wish they lived as long as chinchillas, a nice 20-25 yrs would do me


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## Wildlife fanatic (Jul 21, 2019)

What about a hamster because she is keen on that, if I say no to the rabbit,which going by the replies here, is likely to happen in the morning.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Wildlife fanatic said:


> What about a hamster because she is keen on that, if I say no to the rabbit,which going by the replies here, is likely to happen in the morning.


Hamsters are nocturnal so want to sleep when your child might want to play.

They also nip.

Honestly, sometimes kids just have to accept no 

I begged for a pony for years but the answer was always no.

I eventually bought myself a horse at 27! 

My parents were right though


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

Lurcherlad said:


> Honestly, sometimes kids just have to accept no


This. 
And be honest about the no. "No, we're not getting a rabbit because it would not be fair on the bunny to be an only pet, we could not give him/her the proper care or the right home." 
There is room to teach in these moments of temporary (very temporary) disappointment. Let the child know that it's not just their feelings/wants that matter. It's also about what is right for the pet in question. And what is fair on the current family members, including mom and the dog. 
At her age she may not like it, she may argue her points, but you still have a great teachable moment here.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2019)

At 6, any pet you purchase 'for her' will be 'for you'. A 6 year old is only really old enough to take superficial responsibility for a pet, although they can certainly help. So if you want another pet, go for it, otherwise it might just have to be one of those tough lessons that you can't always get what you want, especially when the thing your want is a living, sentient being.

Can you encourage her to take more responsibility with your dog? Trick training is great for kids


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## Wildlife fanatic (Jul 21, 2019)

I'm worried that she'll take a tantrum .


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2019)

Wildlife fanatic said:


> I'm worried that she'll take a tantrum .


Well tell her to zip her coat up and take the tantrum outside.


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

Wildlife fanatic said:


> I'm worried that she'll take a tantrum .


Wait, you would consider getting a sentient creature, possibly to that animal's detriment, to avoid a tantrum in a 6 year old? Really? 
What kind of values is that teaching your child?!


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## lullabydream (Jun 25, 2013)

Wildlife fanatic said:


> I'm worried that she'll take a tantrum .


That's just normal though isn't it to some degree..I can't have what I want throw a tantrum. Then it's fine and you move on.


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## Wildlife fanatic (Jul 21, 2019)

O2.0 said:


> Wait, you would consider getting a sentient creature, possibly to that animal's detriment, to avoid a tantrum in a 6 year old? Really?
> What kind of values is that teaching your child?!


No, I'm just saying what I expect will happen when I say no to both. Or she might accept my reasoning and take my answer as final without arguing.


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

Wildlife fanatic said:


> I'm worried that she'll take a tantrum .


6 yr olds have a tendency to do this when told no
Its a healthy learning curve for her, learning that no, means no, is an important step to becoming a balanced human being
A tantrum, whilst unpleasant at the time, won't kill her, nor you
I used to say my bottom stair step had a groove in it, my boys had been sent there so many times to....
"Work it out"
Believe me, as a mum of 4 boys, coping with tantrums at this age, is a piece of cake


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## Wildlife fanatic (Jul 21, 2019)

As I said, I'm not actually sure she'd take a tantrum, she's a good kid that only very rarely takes a tantrum. 

I was just predicting what could happen when I say no. 

Besides, she has the dog so she may be OK with me saying no to the rabbit or hamster.


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

lullabydream said:


> That's just normal though isn't it to some degree..





mrs phas said:


> 6 yr olds have a tendency to do this when told no


At 6?
My brain might be addled from dealing with teens, but I don't remember too many tantrums at 6.
At 2 and 3? Oh definitely! But by 6 they were pretty settled with stuff like "sorry, nope, not gonna happen." Now sure, they would be disappointed, try and argue their case, but out and out tantrum? Not at that age 

6 to about 11 were the golden years when they lull you in to a false sense of having this parenting thing in hand before they become hormone deranged teenagers


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

O2.0 said:


> At 6?
> My brain might be addled from dealing with teens, but I don't remember too many tantrums at 6.
> At 2 and 3? Oh definitely!


But at 6 comes the
'But muuuum!
Suzy/Kimmy/rainbow/bluebellblossom all have one
I'll be the only one without one, they won't like me, I'll be left out
Its not faiiiirrrrrrrr':Rage:Rageunch

Nothing like a 6yr old, to start turning the screw towards teenage years


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2019)

mrs phas said:


> But at 6 comes the
> 'But muuuum!
> Suzy/Kimmy/rainbow/bluebellblossom all have one


I'd be telling my kid to find some friends with better names :Smuggrin


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

McKenzie said:


> I'd be telling my kid to find some friends with better names :Smuggrin


So what's wrong with Suzy ???


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

No pet is a good pet for a child.

No child is able to care for an animal.

I'm afraid any six year old throwing a tantrum would get short shrift from me.


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## Wildlife fanatic (Jul 21, 2019)

Rafa said:


> No pet is a good pet for a child.
> 
> No child is able to care for an animal.
> 
> I'm afraid any six year old throwing a tantrum would get short shrift from me.


I just send her to her room to calm down or give her a loss of priveleges until she learns that tantrums don't work. I think that is why she is less likely to take one now than previously.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2019)

SusieRainbow said:


> So what's wrong with Suzy ???


Suzy is a lovely name :Kiss Rainbow and Bluebellblosson not so much :Hilarious Although I've encountered worse!


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

mrs phas said:


> But at 6 comes the
> 'But muuuum!
> Suzy/Kimmy/rainbow/bluebellblossom all have one
> I'll be the only one without one, they won't like me, I'll be left out
> ...


Yeah, that never worked in this house  
I'm a vegan, hippie, co-sleeping, attachment, peaceful parenting freak, but even I mastered the "no" without further guilt trips pretty early on. So well in fact that when I try to guilt trip my kids they call me on it. Damn kids learning from my example! :Facepalm


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## Wildlife fanatic (Jul 21, 2019)

I take it you are referring to these music stars that have kids with strange names lol. 

I like the name Harper, if I ever have another girl then that would be her name.


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

McKenzie said:


> Suzy is a lovely name :Kiss *Rainbow* and Bluebellblosson not so much


Hey @SusieRainbow at least half you name is okay :Hilarious:Hilarious


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## Wildlife fanatic (Jul 21, 2019)

I'm Scottish so not used to strange names lol.


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2019)

O2.0 said:


> Hey @SusieRainbow at least half you name is okay :Hilarious:Hilarious


Oh! Sorry @SusieRainbow!!! You know I love you really!

That never even clicked with me @O2.0!


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

McKenzie said:


> Oh! Sorry @SusieRainbow!!! You know I love you really!
> 
> That never even clicked with me @O2.0!


I figured  
Gave me a giggle though :Hilarious


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

Wildlife fanatic said:


> I'm Scottish so not used to strange names lol.


I'm not Scottish, Scottish names are strange to me


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## Rafa (Jun 18, 2012)

I'm not Scottish.

Scottish names are strange to me.


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

Rafa said:


> I'm not Scottish.
> 
> Scottish names are strange to me.


Dude! Get out of my head! :Hilarious:Hilarious

But seriously, have recently gotten sucked in by the Outlander series. Geillis? Laoghaire? Even Colum, isn't that what holds a structure up? Weird names!
And Murtagh! How could I forget that one!


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Wildlife fanatic said:


> I'm worried that she'll take a tantrum .


Even more reason not to cave in imo

Unless there are underlying medical and real behavioural issues with a child (autism etc) then ime most kids who have tantrums do so because they work and the adult gives in to end the battle.

At 6 she's old enough to understand why not and will learn a good lesson that tantrums are not a bargaining tool.

Seen it so many times in supermarket. Kid asks for something off shelf, mum says no (countless times), kid kicks off - mum, tired, worn down, embarrassed even, gives in "for a quiet life".

Kid gets what they want and knows next time to kick off to get what they want.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

O2.0 said:


> At 6?
> My brain might be addled from dealing with teens, but I don't remember too many tantrums at 6.
> At 2 and 3? Oh definitely! But by 6 they were pretty settled with stuff like "sorry, nope, not gonna happen." Now sure, they would be disappointed, try and argue their case, but out and out tantrum? Not at that age
> 
> 6 to about 11 were the golden years when they lull you in to a false sense of having this parenting thing in hand before they become hormone deranged teenagers


If they learn at 2-3 that "having a paddy" doesn't work then by 6 they don't try it ime

I do think having clear boundaries early on helps enormously.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

Wildlife fanatic said:


> I take it you are referring to these music stars that have kids with strange names lol.
> 
> I like the name Harper, if I ever have another girl then that would be her name.


Makes me think of Harpic! 

One name I really don't like is Irish, I think - Assumpter.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

No pet is suitable for a child, tantrum or no tantrum.

Living things are a completely inappropriate way to teach children about responsibility

This is a real bugbear of mine currently as I have a friend I went to school with, lives a few counties over, who in the last 18 months has acquired over 40 animals 'for her children', including a sulcata tortoise for her 6 year old!



Lurcherlad said:


> Makes me think of Harpic!
> 
> One name I really don't like is Irish, I think - *Assumpter*.


Always reminds me of the episode of Father Ted where they give up things for Lent


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## Wildlife fanatic (Jul 21, 2019)

Well, I told her no to both this morning. I got no tantrum but did get the "But my friends have one" and a little bit of tears but I sat her down and explained my reasoning which seemed to calm her down .


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Wildlife fanatic said:


> I'm worried that she'll take a tantrum .


Is this your main consideration?


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## Wildlife fanatic (Jul 21, 2019)

Calvine said:


> Is this your main consideration?


If you see my latest post then you will see that in fact I did end up saying no to her .


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Wildlife fanatic said:


> If you see my latest post then you will see that in fact I did end up saying no to her .


I wrote it while you were writing your most recent one, it would seem. Glad you sorted out your problem.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Lurcherlad said:


> Seen it so many times in supermarket. Kid asks for something off shelf, mum says no (countless times), kid kicks off - mum, tired, worn down, embarrassed even, gives in "for a quiet life".


 I saw recently, child had grabbed a pack of Mr Man yoghurt which mother did not intend to buy so put it back; she had to drag the child away, it actually refused to walk so she had to drag it on its knees, howling like a banshee. She eventually picked up the child and just threw it (still howling) into the trolley with all the shopping and marched away.


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## NaomiM (Sep 22, 2012)

Lurcherlad said:


> Unless there are underlying medical and real behavioural issues with a child (autism etc)


Kids with autism need boundaries as much, if not more, than neurotypical kids  My seven-year-old is autistic, and yes, he does still have both tantrums and meltdowns (two separate things incidentally) from time to time. Most recent big one was when I'd promised him a sweet if he was good having his hair cut (he has sensory issues so haircuts are a big deal). Well, he outright refused to have the haircut, then had a massive tantrum in the supermarket when I told him no sweet. I sat him on the floor by the wall, turned my back, folded my arms and waited it out (took around half an hour!) When he'd calmed down I just explained that no haircut meant no sweet, we'd try again another day but for now we had to move on. The next week we tried again for the haircut - he was still very reluctant but with lots of encouragement he eventually braved it, then got the sweet 

Agree with your post 100%, btw 

OP, well done for listening to good advice and not caving in! As a child I was desperate for a dog and nagged for one multiple times - my parents were firm because they both worked and it wouldn't have been fair on the dog to be home alone so much. As I got older I could see they were right. One day your daughter will be able to look back and see you were right too!


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## tabelmabel (Oct 18, 2013)

simplysardonic said:


> Living things are a completely inappropriate way to teach children about responsibility


I know what you're saying here i think - but only partly agree with it. We got my daughter guinea pigs for her birthday but only because i love guinea pigs so really they were for me, but we sort of pretended they were hers. Of course it was me that put all the time in, getting them nice and handlable.

We have our pigs as indoor pigs, so i am sure that has taught her responsibility and care - they arent put away in a shed and forgotton about. They are a huge part of our lives. She knows lots about how to care for guinea pigs, she knows about the correct diet, knows how to handle them, nail clipping etc.

In may this year, one of the pigs we got her for her birthday became very ill at the grand age of 7yrs. She saw first hand the amount of extra time he needed, the daily bathing, bum wash outs, weighing, monitering, syringe feeding , giving of medication and finally euthanasia. Then seeing her beloved pet passed away and burying him in the garden.

So she has experienced the full life cycle there plus seen how much time and care goes into having a pet. And then she saw the lengths i went to to source suitable companion pigs to bond with our bereaved pig and she was there to see the bonding process.

So - i do think if the adult has a genuine interest, a child can learn loads. And i do believe experiencing pet bereavement as a child is valuable.

But i would never get a pet for a child just to be the child's pet. And i dont see small animals as 'disposable children's pets'


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

tabelmabel said:


> I know what you're saying here i think - but only partly agree with it. We got my daughter guinea pigs for her birthday but only because i love guinea pigs so really they were for me, but we sort of pretended they were hers. Of course it was me that put all the time in, getting them nice and handlable.
> 
> We have our pigs as indoor pigs, so i am sure that has taught her responsibility and care - they arent put away in a shed and forgotton about. They are a huge part of our lives. She knows lots about how to care for guinea pigs, she knows about the correct diet, knows how to handle them, nail clipping etc.
> 
> ...


I agree with you on that one, I always let my children help me with the animals & my daughter had 'her' rat who lived with all my other rats but the responsibility was ultimately mine.

Plus I expect most of us on here are pretty clued up about it

Unfortunately the pet selling websites are littered with animals bought for children who have 'lost interest' & the parent can't be bothered to look after them, so there are still a lot of parents teaching a really worrying life lesson about the disposability of animals.


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

tabelmabel said:


> I know what you're saying here i think - but only partly agree with it. We got my daughter guinea pigs for her birthday but only because i love guinea pigs so really they were for me, but we sort of pretended they were hers. Of course it was me that put all the time in, getting them nice and handlable.
> 
> We have our pigs as indoor pigs, so i am sure that has taught her responsibility and care - they arent put away in a shed and forgotton about. They are a huge part of our lives. She knows lots about how to care for guinea pigs, she knows about the correct diet, knows how to handle them, nail clipping etc.
> 
> ...


I was given a hamster one Christmas, I was seven irrc - obviously animals as presents and for a child too generally aren't encouraged but I bloody loved that ham (very imaginatively named Hammy) and cared for him well, with full backup of my mum who helped with cleaning etc and made sure nothing was ever missed.
I remember when I was ten or so I really wanted a macaw for some reason - thank god my mum said no!


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

picaresque said:


> I was given a hamster one Christmas, I was seven irrc - obviously animals as presents and for a child too generally aren't encouraged but I bloody loved that ham (very imaginatively named Hammy) and cared for him well, with full backup of my mum who helped with cleaning etc and made sure nothing was ever missed.
> I remember when I was ten or so I really wanted a macaw for some reason - thank god my mum said no!


I had a hamster called Hammy as well not my first, my first was Snowball, I bet you can't guess what colour she was.

After that I started to get a bit more creative, we had a Peaseblossom, Mustardseed & BA Baracus.

Hubby's hamster is called Spike


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

simplysardonic said:


> I had a hamster called Hammy as well not my first, my first was Snowball, I bet you can't guess what colour she was.
> 
> After that I started to get a bit more creative, we had a Peaseblossom, Mustardseed & BA Baracus.
> 
> Hubby's hamster is called Spike


Having a Hammy is a right of passage for all animal obsessed kids I'd say 

Now I'm hamster broody :Beaver I have a huge soft spot for Syrians, my last girl I got ten years ago - Nessa - was such a character. Think they are often misunderstood and dismissed as bitey because people treat them as a toy for kids. They're not as low-maintenance as people think, need a lot of space to be happy too.
No chance of any rodents with a particular Jack Russellish thing in the house anyway!


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

picaresque said:


> Having a Hammy is a right of passage for all animal obsessed kids I'd say
> 
> Now I'm hamster broody :Beaver I have a huge soft spot for Syrians, my last girl I got ten years ago - Nessa - was such a character. Think they are often misunderstood and dismissed as bitey because people treat them as a toy for kids. They're not as low-maintenance as people think, need a lot of space to be happy too.
> No chance of any rodents with a particular Jack Russellish thing in the house anyway!


We'd not really had any intention of adding a hamster but a trio of ladies were dumped in a car park so we took one of them.

Here's the lady herself- those little paws make my heart just melt


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## picaresque (Jun 25, 2009)

Oh she's so cute <3 Very prettily marked. What's her name?
Poor hams though, being dumped like that.


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

picaresque said:


> Oh she's so cute <3 Very prettily marked. What's her name?
> Poor hams though, being dumped like that.


She's called Spike (hubby named her), she's a little sweetheart.

3 of my animals at the moment are car park dumpings, seems to be quite a common occurrence in Norfolk. About 3 years ago we also had 7 mice that came into work that had been dumped in Great Yarmouth, does & bucks together, it was a miracle we didn't end up with babies!


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## NaomiM (Sep 22, 2012)

As a child, I had (consecutively):

Snowflake (Syrian hamster)
Snowdrop (Syrian hamster)
Dazzle (dwarf lop rabbit)
Misty (Netherland dwarf rabbit)
Duchess (Dutch cross rabbit)
Toffee and Treacle (guinea pigs)

But looking back, knowing what I now know, none of them lived out their full life span, with the exception of the guinea pigs. None of them had enough space in their cages/hutches (though they all got a fair amount of time each day out of the cage/hutch for exercise), and none of them really got cleaned out often enough. I loved them, but I needed a lot of nagging to do the less "fun" tasks such as cleaning out.

By the time I got the guinea pigs, I was in my mid teens and a bit more responsible, and they were fantastic pets. But from my own experiences, though as I say I loved them to pieces, I still wouldn't recommend either hamsters or rabbits as pets for young children, or any pets unless the parents have the time and inclination to take full responsibility.

Now, as well as Pebbles the cat, we have three hens (Peach, Rosie and Dot). One "belongs" to each of our three kids, and we let them pick the names. But I'm the one who cleans them out daily, feeds and waters them, lets them out in the morning and locks them away at night, and checks them daily for any problems. My seven-year-old and even my three-year-old help on a fairly regular basis with feeding, cleaning out and collecting eggs. But it's their choice to do so (or not), and I never nag or force them, because _I _ultimately made the decision to get the hens, and they're _my _responsibility. My kids still get animals to love and they're learning about animal care, but they're not mature enough to make that decision or take that responsibility themselves.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

Bloomin rabbits that we had were scary, they were so big. Rescues from the meat trade..............


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## simplysardonic (Sep 1, 2009)

rona said:


> Bloomin rabbits that we had were scary, they were so big. Rescues from the meat trade..............


Out of curiosity, do farmed rabbit taste different to wild, when I ate meat we only had wildies.


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## rona (Aug 18, 2011)

simplysardonic said:


> Out of curiosity, do farmed rabbit taste different to wild, when I ate meat we only had wildies.


I don't know because I don't like rabbit meat. We always fed the wild ones to the Ferrets or dogs. The meat is very pale on a farmed rabbit, so I assume it's a different taste


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

simplysardonic said:


> Out of curiosity, do farmed rabbit taste different to wild, when I ate meat we only had wildies.


Oh yes
Farmed rabbit is pretty tasteless to be honest, soft meat that's pale and non descript, you wouldn't, unless told beforehand, know it was rabbit
Wild is as dark and rich as its fur, more chewy and really benefits from being cooked long and slow, due to the muscle strands, very entitled to the title of game


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

To be honest I'm not too comfortable with how this thread has meandered from ' _are rabbits good pets' _to ' _which rabbit has the best flavour'. _It could be very upsetting to some people, particuarly a child.
Maybe it's just me.


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## Lurcherlad (Jan 5, 2013)

NaomiM said:


> Kids with autism need boundaries as much, if not more, than neurotypical kids  My seven-year-old is autistic, and yes, he does still have both tantrums and meltdowns (two separate things incidentally) from time to time. Most recent big one was when I'd promised him a sweet if he was good having his hair cut (he has sensory issues so haircuts are a big deal). Well, he outright refused to have the haircut, then had a massive tantrum in the supermarket when I told him no sweet. I sat him on the floor by the wall, turned my back, folded my arms and waited it out (took around half an hour!) When he'd calmed down I just explained that no haircut meant no sweet, we'd try again another day but for now we had to move on. The next week we tried again for the haircut - he was still very reluctant but with lots of encouragement he eventually braved it, then got the sweet
> 
> Agree with your post 100%, btw
> 
> OP, well done for listening to good advice and not caving in! As a child I was desperate for a dog and nagged for one multiple times - my parents were firm because they both worked and it wouldn't have been fair on the dog to be home alone so much. As I got older I could see they were right. One day your daughter will be able to look back and see you were right too!


It was more that I have no experience with kids with special needs so didn't want to lump them in and be deemed inconsiderate of parents with added challenges


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## NaomiM (Sep 22, 2012)

Lurcherlad said:


> It was more that I have no experience with kids with special needs so didn't want to lump them in and be deemed inconsiderate of parents with added challenges


I know and I appreciate it 

There's two extremes - people who assume that a child's tantrum is always the result of bad parenting and judge the parent without knowing the facts, and people who go too far the other way and have zero expectations of a child with autism etc and therefore think they should be exempt from all discipline. The first of these is thankfully becoming rarer as understanding of autism, ADHD etc increases, but the second is just as harmful and unfair on the child, if not more so. My post wasn't aimed at you at all, just a general observation and attempt to challenge that second extreme for anyone who's reading and who it might be relevant to!


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## O2.0 (May 23, 2018)

At the risk of getting in to a parenting debate, it's not my style to punish or take away privileges for a tantrum. I'm of the mind that big feelings can be very overwhelming for young kids with no context or life experience to deal with those feelings and it's our job to be with them as they learn how to manage those big emotions. Too many adults walking around who were never guided through big emotions and can't manage as adults. 

When mine were very young I tried to support them through tantrums and share some peace with them. I'd hold them, try to 'coach' them through the emotion "that's angry, you're feeling angry, it's okay to be angry, it's not okay to hurt anyone because you're angry though, not even yourself, okay?" Of course as a normal human mom, I was not always in a mental state to be able to do this, but I tried as much as possible. 
*shrug* I don't know if it's the 'right' approach but it seemed to work for my two. 

The funniest tantrum was one my daughter had over food, we still tease her about it. She decided in the car, on the way home, that she wanted bread. Right then, couldn't wait less than 10 minutes to get some at home. She tried so hard to hold it together, but she was livid at me that we didn't have a pantry in the car. I tried not to laugh but it was so random it was funny. Oh she was mad though!  
And of course by the time we got home, and she had recovered from being angry about the lack of bread in the car on the way home, she was over it and wanted apple slices instead


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## NaomiM (Sep 22, 2012)

O2.0 said:


> At the risk of getting in to a parenting debate, it's not my style to punish or take away privileges for a tantrum. I'm of the mind that big feelings can be very overwhelming for young kids with no context or life experience to deal with those feelings and it's our job to be with them as they learn how to manage those big emotions. Too many adults walking around who were never guided through big emotions and can't manage as adults.
> 
> When mine were very young I tried to support them through tantrums and share some peace with them. I'd hold them, try to 'coach' them through the emotion "that's angry, you're feeling angry, it's okay to be angry, it's not okay to hurt anyone because you're angry though, not even yourself, okay?" Of course as a normal human mom, I was not always in a mental state to be able to do this, but I tried as much as possible.
> *shrug* I don't know if it's the 'right' approach but it seemed to work for my two.


I agree with you, I wouldn't punish my kids for having tantrums (though they might get punished for unacceptable behaviour that occurs during a tantrum, such as hitting, because IMO they need to learn that some things are completely unacceptable no matter how angry you are feeling). What I do do is withdraw attention until they've calmed down. Reasoning with them doesn't work when they're mid-tantrum. Once they're calm enough to listen, we discuss together what went wrong, how they feel/felt and what we can do about it.

Holding them and being with them during a tantrum may work for some kids, but it doesn't work for mine! When they're that angry, the very sight of me seems to fuel their anger! Giving them space and time to calm down works better - even for my one-year-old. But every child is different, and I'm sure there's many kids who would benefit from your approach over mine.

Taking away toys/privileges generally gets used in our house when they're refusing to do as they've been told, e.g. get dressed, brush teeth, get ready for bed etc!



> The funniest tantrum was one my daughter had over food, we still tease her about it. She decided in the car, on the way home, that she wanted bread. Right then, couldn't wait less than 10 minutes to get some at home. She tried so hard to hold it together, but she was livid at me that we didn't have a pantry in the car. I tried not to laugh but it was so random it was funny. Oh she was mad though!
> And of course by the time we got home, and she had recovered from being angry about the lack of bread in the car on the way home, she was over it and wanted apple slices instead


Been there so many times - and no doubt will be there again many times until Amazon introduces instant 10-second anything-you-want drone delivery! 

P.S. Apologies for diverting so much from the topic of the thread!


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## Corneal (Oct 30, 2018)

Doubt your gonna read this as content number 58, but no, not a good pet for children


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