# Bonnies been gone 1 month...



## jewy (Feb 25, 2010)

Hi again everyone. Thanks for the support over the last month. Its been awful, miss her so much. Even her stinky breath!
I wanted to ask everyone about their experience of loss. The people who know me most know I could never replace Bee. She was 17 when she passed and absolutely the centre of my world. I am disabled and live in a remote area so every day it has been me and the pooch home alone til my partner finishes work. In a way we were each others carers. We had our own funny little routines day in, day out.
A few people have asked me straight away am I getting another? I feel guilty even thinking about it and I am scared I would resent another dog for not being her?? How do you know when it is time? I would question my motives if I got one too soon, like I was trying to stop myself greiving? Just really mixed up at the mo.
Give all the pooches a cuddle from me. xxxxx


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## GillyR (Nov 2, 2009)

Hello xxx

I think we all feel like that, i think we know when we are ready.....one thing i know for sure, Bonnie would want her mommy to be happy, the love you have for her will never change - it will always be there.

Lots of love xxxx


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss. There are no rules on grieving. When you are ready to open your home and heart to another, you will. There are many who need loving forever homes, and when the time is right for you, you will be Chosen.

When you do, you will not be replacing Bonnie. It will be in honor of Bonnie. She gave you such love and joy, it will be natural to want to have that again in your life. No one can replace Bonnie. Your new love will be his or her own self, and you will form your own special bond with him or her.

Bonnie will be happy, when you find that special furry heart to love, again.


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## jewy (Feb 25, 2010)

Thanks for that.x
Never thought of me as being chosen, but youre right. Bonnie chose me. My sister bought her as a puppy and I took her when she was 4 months because my sis had 3 young kids. Always joked we ended up with each other by default! Think the best things in life are the ones we dont plan for. x


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## willa (Jan 16, 2010)

Sorry for your loss  
I'm going through the same atm  We lost Spice,13 yr old Labrador nearly 4 weeks ago. I'm still missing her desperately & sleep with a pic of her under my pillow.
Dad is already talking about getting a new puppy, which i personally find too upsetting to contemplate.I'm terrified of having to love a new puppy & it taking the place of Spice 

Sorry i can't really help you, just wanted to let u know i know how awful ur feeling xxxxxxx


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## jewy (Feb 25, 2010)

willa said:


> Sorry for your loss
> I'm going through the same atm  We lost Spice,13 yr old Labrador nearly 4 weeks ago. I'm still missing her desperately & sleep with a pic of her under my pillow.
> Dad is already talking about getting a new puppy, which i personally find too upsetting to contemplate.I'm terrified of having to love a new puppy & it taking the place of Spice
> 
> Sorry i can't really help you, just wanted to let u know i know how awful ur feeling xxxxxxx


So sorry to hear about Spice. Its too hard some days isnt it?
Hope you have lots of happy memories, good times and crazy little things to remember. Nothing could replace all those things you shared with Spice could it? Hope youre talking to your Dad about how you feel, he will be wanting to help not replace your girl. xxxx


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## willa (Jan 16, 2010)

jewy said:


> So sorry to hear about Spice. Its too hard some days isnt it?
> Hope you have lots of happy memories, good times and crazy little things to remember. Nothing could replace all those things you shared with Spice could it? Hope youre talking to your Dad about how you feel, he will be wanting to help not replace your girl. xxxx


We have thousands of happy memories & photographs, had her since she was 3 months old.
But i still can't erase the memories of her last night & day with us. Was an utterly awful time


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## jewy (Feb 25, 2010)

Ive been the same. Cant get the last day out of my head. But that was one day out of hundreds, even thousands we shared with them. Im sure you did the best by her all her life like my Bonnie.
Bee was very elderly, and I had imagined how the end would be over and over but nothing could have prepared me. To me that day still seems a bit unreal? xx


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## willa (Jan 16, 2010)

jewy said:


> Ive been the same. Cant get the last day out of my head. *But that was one day out of hundreds, even thousands we shared with them*. Im sure you did the best by her all her life like my Bonnie.
> Bee was very elderly, and I had imagined how the end would be over and over but nothing could have prepared me. To me that day still seems a bit unreal? xx


That's what my Parents keep telling me. As u can imagine it was unbearable having to call the emergency vet to come put Spice to sleep 

We are very lucky that we have Daisy,(Spice's Daughter). She's 8 & keeps us occupied, although she's clearly missing Spice terribly 

I'm so sorry for your loss  just awful


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## jewy (Feb 25, 2010)

You give Daisy a big cuddle when youre missing Spice. Dont think there are any rules about how we get through this. Bit by bit, day by day. 
Take care. xxxxx


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## EmzieAngel (Apr 22, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss.
We had a collie cross, Harvey, put to sleep nearly two years ago now, he was only 3 and a half, but it was due to him being aggressive. (We had tried everything possible to help him overcome his aggression and fears etc, but had bitten 4 people and we were all starting to become scared of him)

Even so, it broke my heart, I was in pieces that day. Two days later we bought a Labrador Puppy home. Bailey is nearly 2 now and will never replace Harvey, it helped my family through the grieving process as it gave us something to keep our mind focussed on, otherwise I think we would have just broken down. I still think about him every day and talking about him always brings tears to my eyes.

I also don't regret getting a puppy so soon afterwards, for us it felt like the right thing to do, yet there was a few people who said we should wait. My dad said we should wait, but since we got Bailey, my dad said that it was the right thing to do.

Every one is different and only you will know if you're ready for another dog and if you were to get one, you're not replacing Bonnie. Bonnie would want you to be happy.


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## jewy (Feb 25, 2010)

That must have been an awful decision to make about Harvey. Im so sorry. 

Do you mind me asking why you chose a lab after a collie? or was it just by chance? Thing is, if i do think about another dog being here, I have to think of a totally different breed, which is crazy because i love yorkies. I would be scared of getting another yorkie and calling it by Bonnies name by accident or something.


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## EmzieAngel (Apr 22, 2009)

Yeah, it was a very hard decision, but we know it was for the best. Well, Harvey was technically a rescue, we got him when he was 6 months old from a lady round the corner who rescued him from her son, who was abusing him 

When talking about a breed we would like, me and my mum had always said we'd wanted a Labrador, so when that time came, we decided a Labrador was the one to go for, and our vet said it was a good decision to get a Labrador because they are said to be easily trainable etc. Though, Bailey has a very short attention span lol, but he was toilet trained very quickly.

I would like a Collie again in the future though.

Aww, although Harvey and Bailey are different breeds, my mum still sometimes calls Bailey by Harvey's name, as do other members of my family.


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## jewy (Feb 25, 2010)

Think its bound to happen whatever breed i get. Its like my Nan getting through Mums, Aunts, sisters sometimes cousins names before getting to mine! Been called worse, Bonnie too (especially if she peed!)
Thanks for that, its all helping. xxxxxx


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## EmzieAngel (Apr 22, 2009)

Aww bless, I've even been called my brother's name sometimes lol.
You're welcome 
x


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## jill3 (Feb 18, 2009)

Having read all the posts and have gone through the same thing i know what you are going through.
Having lost one of our BSH creams at the age of 10 years. She suddenly died on our driveway one morning. I was so heart broken i couldn't work for days after.
A few months later we decided to adopt another cream but this time a boy.
We have had him a year now.
Like you said you don't know if you could love another as much as Bonnie.
I thought the same.
We only had Harley a couple of days and i had bonded with him. I love him to bits.
My hubby says he's the best thing that happened to us last year.
I will always love my Molly perkins and will never for get her.

You said that you love yorkies. Well you could always think about having a little boy Yorkie to cherish. They all have different characters so i don't think that you will compare.
There is probably one out there just for you.
I hope you find one. xx


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## jewy (Feb 25, 2010)

jill3 said:


> Having read all the posts and have gone through the same thing i know what you are going through.
> Having lost one of our BSH creams at the age of 10 years. She suddenly died on our driveway one morning. I was so heart broken i couldn't work for days after.
> A few months later we decided to adopt another cream but this time a boy.
> We have had him a year now.
> ...


Thanks for that. So sorry about losing Molly. That must have been a real shock. Bonnie was that elderly i expected her to go at home too, but as usual, it was her way and everyone had to fit in round her!

Its scary, too soon yet i think, will see how we go. We always have enough love to go round dont we? xxxxx


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## Housewifenumber9 (Mar 23, 2010)

Hi, I have just joined so I could leave you a message of support. I lost my dog George last May and I still miss him daily. We waited until September to get a new pup and although he fills my time I am still missing George. Pups bring happiness into our lives and they also help us to remember the happy times we had with the dogs that are no longer around. 
I wish you all the best and hope it helps to know your not alone.


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## jewy (Feb 25, 2010)

Housewifenumber9 said:


> Hi, I have just joined so I could leave you a message of support. I lost my dog George last May and I still miss him daily. We waited until September to get a new pup and although he fills my time I am still missing George. Pups bring happiness into our lives and they also help us to remember the happy times we had with the dogs that are no longer around.
> I wish you all the best and hope it helps to know your not alone.


Thanks for support. Hearing everyones experience is helping. Just going to wait and see what happens. Bonnie was such a charactor think even in time if we do take the plunge, like your George i will still miss her every day. Still sneaking her bed out from under ours and having a cuddle at mo. Early days. xx


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## kello82 (Jan 22, 2010)

im so sorry for the loss of your Bonnie.
it is so hard, they become such a constant in your life, when they are gone its just impossible to deal with.

i am right where you are too, we lost our kitty mikki almost a month ago. he got very sick in only 3 days, very unexpected. we thought he would die from old age, as he had never been ill before. he passed in daddy's arms (my dad was the center of his world, he was Mikki's idol, completely devoted follower), with us both loving on him and petting him into the next life.
the 26th will be one month, as well as his 14th birthday 

its just so hard. i miss him every day too and cry often. and just like you snuggle with bonnies bed, i like to hold daddy's t-shirt (he loved snuggling up in daddy's clothes ) that Mik slept on in my room the night before he passed. i keep it tucked under my pillow.

i wish you the best in the next few days, weeks, and months. my saving grace is to know that Mik is no longer sickly, it helps me to know that he doesnt suffer anymore 
maybe that will help you too. 

good luck & continue to honor Bonnie with the fond memories


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## ★ Chris ツ (Mar 29, 2010)

Awww so sadd :'(


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## Freyja (Jun 28, 2008)

Its not quite a week yet since we lost William and not a minute goes by with out me thinking of him and wandering if there was a sign of his bloat that I did not pick up on even though I know there wasn't any signs.

The day we lost him my friend rang who know William well her italian greyhound bitch is due to have pups next week and she kindly offered us a pup. We are to have a bitch puppy and hopefully she will be called Willow in William's memory as that was the nearest we could think of apart from Wilma and Wilomena which would get shortened to Willow. It will most likely be the end june /beggining of july when we get her.

She will never replace him she will never even fill his paw prints no dog will ever have the character that he had.

I have my whippets and the hairy idiot but an italian greyhound is on both mine and my sons wish list and there's no way in this world I could ever afford to buy one my friend knew this and made us this kind offer which is too good to turn down there is no way if I turned this pup down I would ever be able to have an iggie.


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## Stevie_K3 (Jul 19, 2010)

I'd like to add that you will know within yourself when it's time to get a new dog. But it's not a case of replacing one you lost; you grow to love new dogs in a different way from ones that have passed and a new dog will in a short space time find its own place in your heart as they develop their own routine and personality and form a bond with you. And you still have all the memories of your other dogs.


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## Nellybelly (Jul 20, 2009)

I lost my soul mate Nelson just over 14 months ago.

He was my life, he was my pride and my joy and he helped me get through the hardest times of my life. 

He wasn't even 9 when he left us, but he had some horrible disease. He had many good months after he was diagnosed, and we were at the vets weekly and often daily to do bloodwork/adjust his medication etc. ANyway, in the end my brave boy could fight no more, and his lungs started filling up with fluid. We'd been prepared for this moment for about 3 weeks, expecting it to be any day...and I had always said no matter what I will do anything I can for my boy not to suffer and to let him go with his dignity - so I held him and hugged him and spoke to him as the vet helped get some well earned rest.

It was the saddest day of my life, and the most painful thing that has ever happened to me...but I was also relieved that he wasn't suffering anymore. It is the ones left behind who feel the pain...and I found comfort through this.

But I felt numb and empty, and my life felt worthless. I was angry at this evil disease which destroyed my precious boy...but Nelson always was and always will be my little angel. And he is always in my heart, in a place that no other odg can ever fill. I lived the best moments of my life with him, we had so much fun, he taught me so much.

About 3 months after losing Nelson I realised I couldn't live without a dog in my life. I didn't know if I was ready, but I decided to rescue another puppy. In hindsight, I wasn't ready...but I don't for one minute regret having got my Bella. She is not Nelson, and she will never replace him...but that is just the way I want it, I would never want to replace Nelson. She has her own place in my heart and I adore her. 

Even today, I often cry at photos of Nelson, and I will never get over him. I sometimes wonder if I have done him wrong by getting another dog. But in his life his purpose was to make me happy...and I guess I have convinced myself that for that reason he is ok about me having another dog.

I never wanted another dog, ever. Nelson was PERFECT and I could have spent my entire life with him over 100 times. He was everything I ever wanted in a dog and so much more. My biggest fear was losing him, and when the day came...it really was as bad as I feared. But life goes on, and my misery isn't going to bring him back. I am so grateful to have Bella now to share my life with and I look forward to spending many many years with her.

So sorry for your loss


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## Tr4cy (Jul 21, 2010)

I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through. I've been through this devastation twice in my life, the first time I waited a year before I could even consider another dog as I continued to be hearbroken. I finally went to the rescue centre and fell in love with a dog that didn't resemble my old dog at all. The bond wasn't instant but I knew within days we would be life long friends which Molly and I were. That was 14 years ago, I lost her to cancer three months ago and again was left devastated. Three weeks ago I scoured all the rescue centres (remembering my heartache for a full year) and I found a new dog Ruby a tri-colour border collie, who again doesn't resemble my lost friends. I'm still bonding with Ruby, who has major hangups after being so obviously very mistreated but the love is growing between us. I am still very upset about losing Molly, but Ruby has taken the edge of this..... everyone is different though and has different ways of coping.... but my thoughts are with you x


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## lorilu (Sep 6, 2009)

Tr4cy said:


> I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through. I've been through this devastation twice in my life, the first time I waited a year before I could even consider another dog as I continued to be hearbroken. I finally went to the rescue centre and fell in love with a dog that didn't resemble my old dog at all. The bond wasn't instant but I knew within days we would be life long friends which Molly and I were. That was 14 years ago, I lost her to cancer three months ago and again was left devastated. Three weeks ago I scoured all the rescue centres (remembering my heartache for a full year) and I found a new dog Ruby a tri-colour border collie, who again doesn't resemble my lost friends. I'm still bonding with Ruby, who has major hangups after being so obviously very mistreated but the love is growing between us. I am still very upset about losing Molly, but Ruby has taken the edge of this..... everyone is different though and has different ways of coping.... but my thoughts are with you x


I'm so sorry for your losses. How wonderful you were able to find another furry soul to love. Though the ones who leave us leave big holes, our hearts are always big enough to love again, and there are always many waiting for us.


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