# Dating sites - a weird world to be in......



## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Well, my third day and it's been an experience! I've been chatting with one really nice guy who I am hoping is what he says he is. I'm making notes as we go along in case he slips up (and cos my memory is rubbish). 

There was one guy who I was getting along with well until I mentioned gay friends and he dropped me like I'm a slimy rock. 

Another who was really pushy about meeting up. I told him that and the following happened:

Him - No you're right, I'm sorry. We will take it at your pace

Me - Thank you

Him - I would still love to meet up though.



There was one who said I would have to go to his house cos he's allergic to dogs. I said it was love me, love my dog and he replied that it didn't mean we couldn't shag at his house. :Facepalm


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## Zaros (Nov 24, 2009)

Yeah well, just remember. If you should ever get disillusioned with the site you're using at present, it might be worth noting, Screwfix.com is not a dating site.

Mind you, having said that, it's where I just happened to have met MrsZee. :Wacky


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

It's good you're taking notes. Be careful and listen to your gut feeling - I had one friend who fell for a guy online who was supposed to be getting over a traumatic divorce which was the reason he didn't want her to go to his house because his wife had cheated on him with his best friend and he didn't want his new relationship to be 'tainted' by painful memories etc, etc. Once she was completely besotted with him, she found out that the reason he hadn't wanted her to go to his house was because his wife was still living in it, completely unaware that her husband was looking to replace her!!! So much for the 'painful divorce from unfaithful wife'!!!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Dear god! I shall make a note of that one. 'See house before commitment'.


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## kimthecat (Aug 11, 2009)

Be wary of the I'm separated/I'm getting a divorce ones.
Avoid my wife dosen't understand me ones.


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

Mirandashell said:


> he replied that it didn't mean we couldn't shag at his house


Lucky you @Mirandashell: who says the age of romance is dead!!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

kimthecat said:


> Be wary of the I'm separated/I'm getting a divorce ones.
> Avoid my wife dosen't understand me ones.


Yep, making sure I avoid those.


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## JenKyzer (Jun 25, 2013)

Good luck 
I have friends who have successful dating site stories... and some who have scary stories to tell about them


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Well, I'm hoping to find someone good but I'm aware there will be a fair amount of trawling first. My ex taught me what I don't want in a man so that's helpful.


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## Kimmikins (Apr 9, 2016)

One of my best friends met her husband online, so it is possible  Like others have said, trust your gut and be as picky as you want!


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## dorrit (Sep 13, 2011)

Keep us updated on the funnies..

Where have these guys been? Id rather hear them trying chat up lines than watch most of what passes for comedy on tv these days..


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

It is funny how many people take profile pics in the bathroom cos it's the only mirror in the house. So the picture is always badly lit and they are looking down at the phone to see how they look rather than at the mirror. I think lessons in taking selfies should be put on the internet!


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## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

Mirandashell said:


> Well, my third day and it's been an experience! I've been chatting with one really nice guy who I am hoping is what he says he is. I'm making notes as we go along in case he slips up (and cos my memory is rubbish).
> 
> There was one guy who I was getting along with well until I mentioned gay friends and he dropped me like I'm a slimy rock.
> 
> ...


Ive not tried dating sites, but know a lot of people who have, quite a few have finally met nice guys and in long term relationships, but you do have to be careful and keep your wits about you, and also be prepared for dissapointments.

They do also tell you on most sites to ensure you meet in a public place every time, until you know who and what your dealing with. There will be ones that are genuine but its finding them, you will also get the ones who are looking for a good time and a leg over. Some are also not what they seem and what you think they are too.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I don't mind the ones who admit up front they are after Friends With Benefits or a quickie in the car. That makes them easy to avoid! It's the sneaky ones I am on alert for.

You also get a few who can be quite aggressive about being faked on the site. One guy put on his profile 'If you are yet another FAKE or SCAMMER then F**K OFF! ' I thought 'hmm..... bad temper is always attractive. Not.'


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## KittenEevee (May 19, 2017)

I met a guy on match and he was lovely, said all the right things and I really enjoyed talking to him and was so exicted to meet, we met and I cant remember how the date went, not very good I dont think. I then got a facebook message from his fiancee telling me to leave him alone. I did not know he was engaged, anyway they broke up. Funny thing is now he is engaged to an old friend's sister and they are due to get married soon. I don't exactly know if I should mention anything because they look very happy, if he did it with that girl with me. I wonder if he is doing the same to her. They look very happy.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

That's a tough one. I would stay out of it TBH.


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## Siskin (Nov 13, 2012)

My daughter met her man on tinder, I haven't questioned her on how many she rejected before she got to him, or what attracted her to him for that matter. Anyway after 'going out' with him for about 18 months she moved in with him last summer. We've met him a few times now and he's very nice, so they are out there. 
Keep swiping, you'll find one


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## Sled dog hotel (Aug 11, 2010)

Mirandashell said:


> I don't mind the ones who admit up front they are after Friends With Benefits or a quickie in the car. That makes them easy to avoid! It's the sneaky ones I am on alert for.
> 
> You also get a few who can be quite aggressive about being faked on the site. One guy put on his profile 'If you are yet another FAKE or SCAMMER then F**K OFF! ' I thought 'hmm..... bad temper is always attractive. Not.'


Then again he could have more then his fare share of shady women they do exist too. Who make a career out of it.
Someone I know had a date, he turned up looked her up and down and then said your not my type and left total of 30 seconds if that. Another left in the middle of a meal threw the his share of the bill on the table and left.


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## PawsOnMe (Nov 1, 2012)

Best of luck with it  takes lots of sifting but there are some lovely genuine people on them. One of my best friend's met her now fiance on POF, he's a really nice guy and they're very happy. She told us similar stories to yours, we used to have a good laugh about it but some of them were a bit scary!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Sled dog hotel said:


> Then again he could have more then his fare share of shady women they do exist too. Who make a career out of it.
> Someone I know had a date, he turned up looked her up and down and then said your not my type and left total of 30 seconds if that. Another left in the middle of a meal threw the his share of the bill on the table and left.


Oh I'm not saying he's wrong. There's definitely fakes and scammers on there. It was the public display of temper that made me wonder what he was achieving.


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

Good luck with it @Mirandashell . I wouldn't do it personally as a) I would probably get all the weirdos b) the guys after a shag would creep me out too much and c) I'm not interested in dating, my mum thinks I'm strange because of this .


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Not at all! It's taken me 3 years to consider dipping my toes in the water again and I'm in no hurry.


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

Mirandashell said:


> Not at all! It's taken me 3 years to consider dipping my toes in the water again and I'm in no hurry.


Well hopefully you meet someone nice and someone that likes George too .


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Oh that's non-negotiable. If George don't like them they are not staying.


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

Mirandashell said:


> Oh that's non-negotiable. If George don't like them they are not staying.


Use him as a judge of their character as well


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

Boxerluver30 said:


> Use him as a judge of their character as well


Hmmm... my beloved dog liked my ex.
Later I realized it was because the ex was no competition!!! My dog only appeared to approve , because his top dog post was unchallenged!

Was vary of someone else, looking back - that guy was no pushover and the dog knew it would be a challenge.

But shouldn't worry - he would always come first, if anyone tried to come between my dog/ cat and me...
My OH knows better than that


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## MiffyMoo (Sep 15, 2015)

Mirandashell said:


> Oh that's non-negotiable. If George don't like them they are not staying.


One of my exes popped over, just before Christmas. He seemed to be making suggestions that he would like to try things again. I started to feel really uncomfortable, at which point Dex got stressed. So I immediately told him that he was stressing my dog out and had to leave


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Well done Dex!


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

cheekyscrip said:


> Hmmm... my beloved dog liked my ex.
> Later I realized it was because the ex was no competition!!! My dog only appeared to approve , because his top dog post was unchallenged!
> 
> Was vary of someone else, looking back - that guy was no pushover and the dog knew it would be a challenge.
> ...


If I ever did get a partner (I reckon I'll be forever alone *cue violins* but a miracle could happen!) this is what I would be like. Animals come first, if you don't like it there's the door


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## Guest (Jan 22, 2018)

Ugh... I couldn't do it.
I feel for anyone trying to find someone this way, what a minefield!

There is a part of me that is saddened at the need for these sites. Are we losing our sense of community?
Meeting people, whether to date or just be friends with should be part and parcel of belonging to a community. I know communities are far more spread out now than in the past, but are they disappearing completely? I don't mean community as in location either, I mean like community of fellow dog lovers (like here) or community of fellow runners, or even a church community. You know, group of people who share interests and care for each other? 

It makes me sad that it has become so hard to be part of a community like this... 

But then I guess it's also a good thing that these things exist for those who struggle to find communities, I suppose it is a form of community in itself?


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## kittih (Jan 19, 2014)

I met my OH on a dating site. There were a fair few unsuitable ones who got in contact before he came along that were weeded out but it seems to have worked for us - still going strong 15 years later. 

I just see it as another way to meet people. I tried the night club route, the evening classes and clubs, the friends of friends and work route but none worked out.

I am attracted to computer nerd guys who are introverts like me so meeting such people in social situations tends to be difficult  I have a number of friends who have met their OH via the internet. So it it is just another way of meeting someone now a days.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

kittih said:


> I met my OH on a dating site. There were a fair few unsuitable ones who got in contact before he came along that were weeded out but it seems to have worked for us - still going strong 15 years later.
> 
> I just see it as another way to meet people. I tried the night club route, the evening classes and clubs, the friends of friends and work route but none worked out.
> 
> I am attracted to computer nerd guys who are introverts like me so meeting such people in social situations tends to be difficult  I have a number of friends who have met their OH via the internet. So it it is just another way of meeting someone now a days.


I like nerds as well. Being one myself. And yeah, we tend not to gather in packs.


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## kittih (Jan 19, 2014)

It may be different now but when I was on match dot com alot of the nice guys were generally quite shy and or introverts. They found it easier to start chatting on line rather than face to face.

In fact one guy I met who was lovely but there seemed to be no spark with turned out to be really shy. I thought he wasn't interested in another date, I heard nothing back after the first date. No suggestion of wanting to go on another one. He continued sending occasional friendly short messages but that was it. I then met someone else, happened to mention that I was meeting up with someone and he became very upset. I can usually spot subtle but his level of interest was so subtle I hadn't realised he was waiting to get up the courage to ask me out again. Oops.

Funnily enough all of the really confident ones turned out to be arrogant twits.


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## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

ouesi said:


> Ugh... I couldn't do it.
> I feel for anyone trying to find someone this way, what a minefield!
> 
> There is a part of me that is saddened at the need for these sites. Are we losing our sense of community?
> ...


I tried using a dating site in the past, but it wasn't for me. For me, it was an attempt to fit in, to "be normal" and have an OH but it never even got off the starting block for me, and honestly, I think I'm just much more content on my own!

However, I am personally a lot more comfortable communicating behind a computer/tablet screen than I ever am face-to-face. I'm introverted and overly worried about how I come across or how things are interpreted when talking in person. Writing things down/typing on a screen gives me chance to proof-read what I've said, and to put myself in the reader's shoes, asking myself how it might come across to them or how I'd feel if someone wrote to me, what I just have? I'm the go-to letter-writer of the family, but making small talk, and getting to know people is borderline painful for me.

Having been a professional career in the past, one thing I know from the elderly is that a lot of elderly people used to go dancing when they were younger, and that's how many people met their spouses. Nowadays it's not something you hear of, so perhaps online dating has filled in a niche there.

OP, my parents both met their OHs online. Dad will be celebrating his 2nd wedding anniversary this summer, mum has been happy in her relationship for 4 or 5 years.


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## Guest (Jan 22, 2018)

LinznMilly said:


> However, I am personally a lot more comfortable communicating behind a computer/tablet screen than I ever am face-to-face. I'm introverted and overly worried about how I come across or how things are interpreted when talking in person. Writing things down/typing on a screen gives me chance to proof-read what I've said, and to put myself in the reader's shoes, asking myself how it might come across to them or how I'd feel if someone wrote to me, what I just have? I'm the go-to letter-writer of the family, but making small talk, and getting to know people is borderline painful for me.


Oh, I totally get that. I find small-talk with people I don't know not borderline painful, it is literally painful. My body language is so tight my muscles get sore, my face muscles hurt, and I usually end up with a splitting headache. I'm naturally shy and awkward and I've never really grown out of it. I do have a lot more coping skills than I did as a youngster, and a lot more social tools in my toolbox, maybe in part because I grew up in a time when retreating behind a computer screen wasn't an option? IDK...

In any case, I totally get being shy, uncomfortable, not outgoing.

However, put me in a barn full of fellow horse lovers and give us some stalls to clean or hay to stack and conversation is easy and friendships blossom effortlessly. 
Put me at a table making emergency bags for a women's shelter with 8 other volunteers and I'll effortlessly get to know every other person at that table. 
A friend of 15 years I met walking the beach marking turtle nests. We worked together one day that summer and that's it and to this day we are good friends, and meet up at least once a year. 
Another friend of over 20 years, I through work with a therapeutic riding program. She and I became good friends and even tighter as she battled breast cancer. My kids call her "aunt" and we have Christmas dinner at her table for over 15 years now.

This is how I think of meeting people - through shared interests and being connected through something outside of just meeting for the sake of meeting. FWIW, I never got the whole clubbing, bar hopping thing either - going out for no other reason than to hook up with someone. And yes, I know that makes me weird 

I'm really not criticizing dating sites, I know they can be a wonderful thing. But gosh that's a lot of pervs and weirdos to wade through! Why not just spend the time doing something you enjoy anyway and see who else shows up?

Of course just my opinion on the whole dating sites thing  At the end of the day if it works and you're happy (general you) and not being taken advantage of, rock on!


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

I guess it depends on your interests. I've got friends who work in female-dominated jobs and who spend their spare time on 'girly' hobbies, so their chances of meeting a single guy are fairly small. Whereas my farming friend who was into agri shows and sheepdog trials was practically beating the men off with a bargepole!

I've been single so long I can't remember what it was like to go on a date. The only thing I find annoying is the 'why on earth are you single' attitude I get from so many. Being permanently single may be unusual, but it shouldn't be abnormal!!!


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## SusieRainbow (Jan 21, 2013)

Can I recommend the use of the 'ignore' facility to anyone offended by posts ?


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

Mirandashell said:


> There's also an attitude amongst some people that the only ones using dating sites are freaks with no friends. This is the only place I've mentioned it because I knew quite a few people on here found their OHs on the internet. *And it's not like there's no weirdos in the real world.* They work everywhere and do all kinds of hobbies.


Oh yes. I once had a guy I knew slightly from a social group turn up on my doorstep. Asked him what he was there for and apparently it was because he'd decided we were going to get married and we needed to plan the wedding.  To clarify, our conversation to date had consisted of 'hello' and 'goodbye' as we met each other at various events.  Worryingly, he ended up married to a woman who had a reputation for doing exactly the same thing to men. Last I heard, they had two kids and I can't help wondering about that particular gene mix :Wacky


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Sounds like he met his soul mate! Not sure about the kids........


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## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

ouesi said:


> Oh, I totally get that. I find small-talk with people I don't know not borderline painful, it is literally painful. My body language is so tight my muscles get sore, my face muscles hurt, and I usually end up with a splitting headache. I'm naturally shy and awkward and I've never really grown out of it. I do have a lot more coping skills than I did as a youngster, and a lot more social tools in my toolbox, maybe in part because I grew up in a time when retreating behind a computer screen wasn't an option? IDK...
> 
> In any case, I totally get being shy, uncomfortable, not outgoing.
> 
> ...


I think there's a difference between being shy, and being an introvert.  Like you say yourself, if you're in a group of likeminded people, you get to know them effortlessly. Introverts generally don't. We're the ones who spend the entire party playing with the family pet, or standing in the corner, hoping no one notices us (and usually wondering why we're there in the first place). Likeminded group or not, social interactions actually drain us.

For me, (not sure if it is just me, or if other introverts feel this way, too) the only thing worse than meeting new people, is meeting a friend or acquaintance, because meeting someone for the first time is generally quick, and relatively painless, but friends or acquaintances want to stop and talk to me, and that's scary to me.

Literally the only people I'm actually comfortable around, is family.

That's why, as I said on the Plant Based thread, even thinking about joining the gym, is way out of my comfort zone - Other People are there, and I might see People I Know :Nailbiting. I'm hanging on to the idea of grabbing my MP3 player and maybe a paper bag :Bag . Every instinct in my body was telling me to retreat the second the receptionist asked me if I wanted a guided tour. 

Before I had a mobile (which I generally forget, and never think of checking, unless I'm expecting a phone call or text), I hated the idea of making a phone call - not answering the phone, making a phone call, in case I got the wrong number and had to do it again. :Eggonface

I had coping mechanisms for work, because I had to have then, but even then, phoning the office was an arduous task, and something to put off unless or until I had to make that call.

Even with family, coming home to a silent flat is like being enveloped in a soothing, sympathetic hug. The silence itself is comforting.

:Lurking :Lurking :Lurking


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## grumpy goby (Jan 18, 2012)

Mirandashell said:


> Dear god! I shall make a note of that one. 'See house before commitment'.


Haha I had one of these

He said he was still living at home in the spare room "for the kids" so I couldn't be seen with him anywhere near his house or home town.... she knew he was dating but it was still all smoke and daggers. (Yes... of course you are getting divorced... was I born yesterday?)

When I said I didn't want to se him again (that plus a +ten yr age discrepancy) he went psycho aggressive and bombarded my phone and email with threats and insults.

Winning at life buddy, way to convince a girl you are worth a shot


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## KittenEevee (May 19, 2017)

I know I wrote a negative post but I think I've commented elsewhere as well that I met my other half on plenty of fish. We have been together 7 years. We are engaged,live together, and own a cat together. 
So sometimes it does work out


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

Oh I hope no one got the impression from my first post that I think they are full of weirdos, I don't. Just that I think all the weirdos on them would be attracted to me (and not the good kind of weird either!). I honestly wasn't trying to put anyone off either. Just not my cup of tea is all.

@LinznMilly I get like that with social interactions having social anxiety. Some days I absolutely dread having to talk to/interact with people and it's a constant worry for me in the back of my mind how to interact, what to say etc. I am a lot better nowadays though and am willing to do meet ups for example


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## Sairy (Nov 22, 2016)

ouesi said:


> Ugh... I couldn't do it.
> I feel for anyone trying to find someone this way, what a minefield!
> 
> There is a part of me that is saddened at the need for these sites. Are we losing our sense of community?
> ...


I completely get where you're coming from and this is ideally how I would have liked to have met someone. However, having gone through uni, met lots of people and not found anyone remotely suitable (and I am a musician too so also met lots of other musicians) I decided to try dating sites. I think it's even harder when you're looking for a partner of the same sex in the real world. I found that the majority of women I was interested in ended up being straight and if I wasn't sure then I was worried about completely humiliating myself.

I did have to wade through a fair few weirdos, and yes there are people who lie about who they are, but there were also plenty of people who were like me and just hadn't managed to find anyone yet. In total I met up with 6 people from the internet, all meetings in public places. The first three were guys (this was actually in my younger days when I was still considering men). All three were nice guys, but I was just not interested. The next three were all women and I ended up having relationships with all three (not at the same time lol). The third one ended up being my soul mate


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## kittih (Jan 19, 2014)

LinznMilly said:


> I think there's a difference between being shy, and being an introvert.  Like you say yourself, if you're in a group of likeminded people, you get to know them effortlessly. Introverts generally don't. We're the ones who spend the entire party playing with the family pet, or standing in the corner, hoping no one notices us (and usually wondering why we're there in the first place). Likeminded group or not, social interactions actually drain us.
> 
> For me, (not sure if it is just me, or if other introverts feel this way, too) the only thing worse than meeting new people, is meeting a friend or acquaintance, because meeting someone for the first time is generally quick, and relatively painless, but friends or acquaintances want to stop and talk to me, and that's scary to me.
> 
> ...


Very well put.  As I have got older I have developed a few coping strategies for real world situations. I tend to put on my virtual work hat as I learnt a variety of strategies at work to deal with things. As work wasn't generally being social, we were just to busy for that I was generally OK though network events and conferences are very hard work.

Some days a short amount of stranger interaction is fine (as long as I haven't used up my emotional social energy elsewhere) but other days I have run out if juice and just have to stay in my lovely peaceful home (though having a needy cat can add to the stress sometimes).

Very close friends are also fine in pre arranged finite amounts (different friends use my energy to different degrees). Large energy using friends need a few days of solitude to recover from. 

I totally get where you are coming from 

This website explains introverts quite well...

https://introvertspring.com/what-is-an-introvert/


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## Guest (Jan 23, 2018)

LinznMilly said:


> I think there's a difference between being shy, and being an introvert.  Like you say yourself, if you're in a group of likeminded people, you get to know them effortlessly. Introverts generally don't. We're the ones who spend the entire party playing with the family pet, or standing in the corner, hoping no one notices us (and usually wondering why we're there in the first place). Likeminded group or not, social interactions actually drain us.
> 
> For me, (not sure if it is just me, or if other introverts feel this way, too) the only thing worse than meeting new people, is meeting a friend or acquaintance, because meeting someone for the first time is generally quick, and relatively painless, but friends or acquaintances want to stop and talk to me, and that's scary to me.
> 
> ...


I'm a classic introvert if all those personality tests thingies are true. I recharge with solitude and being around people takes a good bit out of me. But then I also don't like labels for a dynamic creature like your average human, so my version of being an introvert will vary day to day and of course vary from other introverts.

You've gone a step further than me. I've never joined a gym nor would I. That sounds like hell on earth to me. I hate work-out equipment and the noise/smell of a gym and of course the being inside around people thing. But I'm very excited for you and I also know how good it is for us to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone, so I'm happy for you and think that's a very positive step forward 

Again, not knocking dating websites. But for anyone who is looking for someone special or that human connection who can't see themselves using an online site, there are plenty of other valid options too.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I'm not so much introverted as lacking in energy. Like Kittih, I've only got a certain amount to do all the things I need to do so it has to be rationed. Add that to not much money and it's nigh on impossible for me to do group activites or gym or anything like that. 

Plus the fact that other people on here had found their soul mates encouraged me. But after last night I'm just going to ignore the negative, passive - aggressive stuff. Not worth wasting precious energy on.


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

I hope you didn't think I was being negative? I know some people who have met their life partners via dating sites. It's just that having also known a couple of people who were completely taken in by plausible still-marrieds, I want to make sure no one else does!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

CuddleMonster said:


> I hope you didn't think I was being negative? I know some people who have met their life partners via dating sites. It's just that having also known a couple of people who were completely taken in by plausible still-marrieds, I want to make sure no one else does!


No, not at all. I appreciated the warning. I'm being very careful with the info I give out and I'm listening to my instincts. Especially my horse-apples detector. Having been a barmaid in my youth, it's finely tuned!


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## ShibaPup (Mar 22, 2017)

Good luck! Something I've been considering, simply to meet new people but the idea of putting myself out there absolutely scares me.

Work long shifts - don't get out to socialise, chances of meeting someone are pretty slim. Working at the same place your ex does, doesn't help much either.

I tried volunteer groups, there aren't many for my area and it was all retired folk - nothing against those, they're lovely and I love hearing their life experience but not the place I'm going to find someone around my age :Hilarious


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I found a similar thing. And mostly women as well, which doesn't help when you're looking for a man.


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## Sairy (Nov 22, 2016)

Mirandashell said:


> I found a similar thing. And mostly women as well, which doesn't help when you're looking for a man.


Believe me, it doesn't usually help much it you're a woman looking for a woman either if they're all straight


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## LinznMilly (Jun 24, 2011)

Boxerluver30 said:


> @LinznMilly I get like that with social interactions having social anxiety. Some days I absolutely dread having to talk to/interact with people and it's a constant worry for me in the back of my mind how to interact, what to say etc. I am a lot better nowadays though and am willing to do meet ups for example


I've never thought I was socially anxious until I wrote that post, but perhaps I am, as well as being introverted. I get a quick stab of dread when I see someone I know, and know that they've spotted me - always an "oh, no" moment, followed by my mind going "quick - find somewhere to hide", usually followed by a (hopefully brief) conversation that is nowhere near as bad as I feared, but leading to an hour of self reflection and self analysis.

@kittih - great link!! So true. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who gets grouchy when mentally/emotionally/socially exhausted. A classic sign that my batteries are drained, is that I become passive aggressive, although I'm learning to bite my tongue and simply retreat mentally into a book or a game on my tablet.



ouesi said:


> You've gone a step further than me. I've never joined a gym nor would I. That sounds like hell on earth to me. I hate work-out equipment and the noise/smell of a gym and of course the being inside around people thing. But I'm very excited for you and I also kn


I haven't joined yet.   No money or membership cards have changed hands and if SIL pulls out, chances are, I won't be going, or if I do, I won't stick to it. And, as I said, I'll be taking refuge in the form of my MP3 player.  I'm just a total novice when it comes to exercise, I don't know what I'm doing, and don't know where to begin (although, since both of my dogs are on lead for their entire walks now, I've started incorporating mini exercises such as running on the spot while they're busy checking their peemail or leaving a reply  ) so I'm thinking structured exercises might help me get started, if nothing else.


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## Guest (Jan 23, 2018)

LinznMilly said:


> I haven't joined yet.   No money or membership cards have changed hands and if SIL pulls out, chances are, I won't be going, or if I do, I won't stick to it. And, as I said, I'll be taking refuge in the form of my MP3 player.  I'm just a total novice when it comes to exercise, I don't know what I'm doing, and don't know where to begin (although, since both of my dogs are on lead for their entire walks now, I've started incorporating mini exercises such as running on the spot while they're busy checking their peemail or leaving a reply  ) so I'm thinking structured exercises might help me get started, if nothing else.


I do think it's a good idea, for exactly those reasons. 
When I first started doing yoga, I took classes for about a year and I found it really helpful to have an instructor guide me personally. That yoga studio shut down or I would probably still go from time to time. It was small and low-key which suited me. 
Now that I know what I'm doing though, I find it much easier to just throw down the yoga mat whenever I have a few moments, which might not coincide to when there is a class available. And of course my all-time favorite place to yoga is down by the stream


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Sairy said:


> Believe me, it doesn't usually help much it you're a woman looking for a woman either if they're all straight


True!


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## Biffo (Mar 14, 2016)

A friend of mine met their partner on an internet dating site. I think it's a positive thing for sure, and at least you're doing the weeding out the weirdos from the comfort of your own house.


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## PickleRoo (Jan 2, 2018)

ouesi said:


> Ugh... I couldn't do it.
> I feel for anyone trying to find someone this way, what a minefield!
> 
> There is a part of me that is saddened at the need for these sites. Are we losing our sense of community?
> ...


I met my boyfriend outside a skinhead gig - he had come out for a ***, I was heading to another gig at the club at the end of the road.

He caught my eye and my friend noticed so decided to drop me in it and said very innocently, "Can I have your number please? It's not for me, it's for my friend" and pointed in my direction.

We swapped numbers, text for a day, arranging to meet up on the Thursday. We had a couple drinks and he offered to cook me a 3 course dinner of my choice on the Saturday. I would never have guessed the stereotypical skinhead could put together such an excellent prawn cocktail and lasagne (forget what was for pudding )! After that Saturday we were never apart, it's been nearly a year now


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Ahhh! You can meet your soulmate anywhere. Friend of mine met hers cleaning out a local canal 30 years ago.


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## PickleRoo (Jan 2, 2018)

It's luck - I was with my ex 4/5years and met him online!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I met mine at Summer School!


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## MiffyMoo (Sep 15, 2015)

Mirandashell said:


> Ahhh! You can meet your soulmate anywhere. Friend of mine met hers cleaning out a local canal 30 years ago.


My soul mate is the singer in my favourite band. We dated 23 years ago (yup, I was a groupie); it ended because of his heroin and alcohol addiction. But we still love each other and whenever he has a gig in London and I go, it's like a crazy magnet. We can never be together though; he is and always will be an addict, and I know myself well enough to know that I can't have that much temptation / mess in my life. I now no longer go to his gigs, but some of my friends still do.


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

I met my OH in the common kitchen


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## MiffyMoo (Sep 15, 2015)

cheekyscrip said:


> I met my OH in the common kitchen


As opposed to the posh kitchen?


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## cheekyscrip (Feb 8, 2010)

MiffyMoo said:


> As opposed to the posh kitchen?


:Hilarious
Definitely NOT posh!!! 
Imagine how the common kitchen used by the crowd of overseas students and some guests research staff would be!!!
With Indian, West Indian, Chinese, East Europeans, sSouth Europeans and Africans cooking together!!!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Well, still chatting to the same guy. We seem to have a lot in common. We get each other's sci-fi references without explanation. We've had discussions on favourite aliens and favourite spacefighters. We both own dogs. Our politics are similar. So.... it's going ok. He's not ready to meet yet. Which could be because he's shy like he says. Or could be he's spinning me a tale about where he lives but... we will see.

Haven't met anyone else on there though. Thinking I should maybe try a bigger site?


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

Mirandashell said:


> Well, still chatting to the same guy. We seem to have a lot in common. We get each other's sci-fi references without explanation. We've had discussions on favourite aliens and favourite spacefighters. We both own dogs. Our politics are similar. So.... it's going ok. He's not ready to meet yet. Which could be because he's shy like he says. Or could be he's spinning me a tale about where he lives but... we will see.
> 
> Haven't met anyone else on there though. Thinking I should maybe try a bigger site?


Sounds good. Personally I would carry on talking to him, he may just need a bit more time chatting before he wants to meet. Have you brought it up?


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I did gently ask him and said I wouldn't be offended if he said no and he basically said what you've said. He wants more time chatting. Which is fine by me at the moment but I felt I had to ask just to get it out of the way. Otherwise it becomes the big grey thing with a trunk sat on the coffee table.


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

It's good he's a dog owner as well, do you know what breed? (Would be great if his dog and George got along if you did decide to move things along)


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

He has a 13 year old Border Terrier named Jack. I told him about Ty and we've been discussing the fears you have with an old dog


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

Mirandashell said:


> He has a 13 year old Border Terrier named Jack. I told him about Ty and we've been discussing the fears you have with an old dog


Aww :Sorry


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I know. No matter how old they are, they always go too soon.


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## Pardis (Feb 7, 2018)

Mirandashell said:


> I did gently ask him and said I wouldn't be offended if he said no and he basically said what you've said. He wants more time chatting. Which is fine by me at the moment but I felt I had to ask just to get it out of the way. Otherwise it becomes the big grey thing with a trunk sat on the coffee table.


Chatting for a while longer definitely doesn't hurt  I met my SO on OKCupid and we chatted for over a month before we actually met. Other guys I met for dates I chatted with maybe a week and it was always uncomfortable. Doesn't mean it never works if you don't text for a while before, but I found it more comfortable after getting
to know each other first.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

He just made me laugh. Which is always good


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

Mirandashell said:


> I know. No matter how old they are, they always go too soon.


Yep, I hope Jack has more time with him. 
One of my boxers we lost far too soon to cancer at around 8 years old. He was an unhealthy boy anyway (heart problem, ear mites etc.). But it really tore us up and thinking back to the boxer I grew up with we were really lucky he lived until 12 (which is seen as a good age for a boxer, sad enough in itself). He was a very healthy example of the breed, what got him in the end was a stroke. And our collie cross too, again a healthy dog until 13 when he passed. Just makes me wish we had more time with Jay.

Anyway sorry for the depressing tangent there


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

Boxerluver30 said:


> It's good he's a dog owner as well, do you know what breed? (Would be great if his dog and George got along if you did decide to move things along)


Sounds as if it will be the dogs who do the deciding in this case - yes, I like you, so your human can carry on seeing my human!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Very true! If George don't like him it's off!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I just told him I was watching Mavis and Rita having a row and he immediately got the reference!


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## kimthecat (Aug 11, 2009)

That's good.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Just had a match with a guy who has on his profile that he is working for 'United Nation as a Special Force Candidate of the Intelligence and combat support and at the moment am away on a special mission to Damascus Syria' . Should he be telling people that? Is there such a thing? hmm.. think I'll give that one a swerve....


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

What's so special about Whatsapp? Two guys have now dropped me cos I'm not on it.


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## PickleRoo (Jan 2, 2018)

Mirandashell said:


> What's so special about Whatsapp? Two guys have now dropped me cos I'm not on it.


These are the seedy types ... Free image sending and free video calls, that's the main draw to it.


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## Pavonine (Jul 20, 2017)

Not necessarily! I use WhatsApp purely because I don’t like messaging on the dating app! That’s after we’ve spoken for a while and I want to continue having a proper conversation. Also if you video call somebody you can check they are who they say before meeting in person. I wouldn’t drop somebody because of it though.

I’ve written on my profile that I do drawings and paintings in my spare time. Got a message this morning saying he doesn’t mind if I’m not interested in him, but would I do a drawing for him. This online dating thing might turn a profit :Hilarious


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## Biffo (Mar 14, 2016)

I use WhatsApp a lot. My family and friends are on it and it's great to share photos of the family, and dogs! It's very odd to drop you just because you don't use? Would make me suspicious about them. But you do have free voice and video calls, so it might be handy to have so you can check out someone before you meet them? 

I don't think it's necessarily seedy of them to ask about it, but odd for them to drop you. I would definitely want to see someone face to face talking before I met though, just as a last check that who they say they are is true.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I see what you are saying, Pavonine, but this is pretty much straight away. I think Pickleroo might be right.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Just had my first chat with a weirdo! Feel all initiated now!


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## PickleRoo (Jan 2, 2018)

Mirandashell said:


> Just had my first chat with a weirdo! Feel all initiated now!


Do tell! ;-)


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Well, we said hello and how's your day been, etc. Then he said 'I'm going to be in ***** tomorrow, do you want to meet up?'

Me - :Bored It's a bit quick and it's quite far from me so I won't be able to.
Him - I drive
Me - I don't
Him - That's ok, I'll come round to yours for a cup of tea.
me - Ermmm.... I think I would prefer we chat first and get to know each other. 
Him - don't worry, I'm not after shagging on a first date. 
Me - :Wideyed I should hope not!
Him - Unless you want to. Text me on 07*** ****
Me - Hell no! Bye!


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## BlueJay (Sep 20, 2013)

Mirandashell said:


> Well, we said hello and how's your day been, etc. Then he said 'I'm going to be in ***** tomorrow, do you want to meet up?'
> 
> Me - :Bored It's a bit quick and it's quite far from me so I won't be able to.
> Him - I drive
> ...


:Hilarious:Hilarious:Hilarious

At least he let you know quickly!!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

True! At least I didn't waste more than a few minutes.


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

Mirandashell said:


> Well, we said hello and how's your day been, etc. Then he said 'I'm going to be in ***** tomorrow, do you want to meet up?'
> 
> Me - :Bored It's a bit quick and it's quite far from me so I won't be able to.
> Him - I drive
> ...


Oh dear :Hilarious. I really struggle to understand how the hell that works with anyone, are some people really that desperate?!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I don't know. It's all very odd to me


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## Pavonine (Jul 20, 2017)

I’m sick of it! The worst are the guys where you think “oh actually I’m really enjoying talking to this person” and then it becomes apparent they’re just after sex. I don’t really mind the ones who make it obvious at the start because I can just ignore them, but don’t go getting my hopes up!


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## 2Hounds (Jun 24, 2009)

Great that you've found someone have lot in common with, but just be careful of getting too invested in this guy before meeting. Its good to know if chemistry is actually there & because s
sometimes people put off meeting because they aren't exactly who they've made out to be. 

I made a friend via dating app, we both had dogs, clicked & spent lot of time messaging & talking on phone. He wasn't local so couldn't easily meet but was planned. I will never know truth but after few months of daily contact he blocked me, got through to him & he had reasonable excuse so even though trust shaken i gave it another go and few weeks later he just ignored me, i can see he's on WhatsApp.
Its confusing why anyone would invest so much time only to cut it dead & hurtful when think built up something meaningful to know that they don't care after all. 

From reading online its seems lot of people are bit gutless these days and opt to ignore rather than have that conversation even when in a relationship which I find weird.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I've not had one of those yet. There's only been one guy I've been chatting with for a while. I'm kind of hoping he's genuine


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

2Hounds said:


> Great that you've found someone have lot in common with, but just be careful of getting too invested in this guy before meeting. Sometimes people put off meeting because they aren't exactly who they've made out to be.


Don't worry, I'm being careful not to get invested. It's nice chatting but I won't be heart-broken if he turns out fake


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## 2Hounds (Jun 24, 2009)

Mirandashell said:


> Don't worry, I'm being careful not to get invested. It's nice chatting but I won't be heart-broken if he turns out fake


Its easy to let that barrier slip after a while, I didn't have a romantic interest in guy so thought was just nice to enjoy chatting.


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## Pavonine (Jul 20, 2017)

Don’t wanna take over your thread but just need to vent my frustration! A guy messaged me and I’ve been chatting for a bit, he seems really nice. I ask him what he does for work, turns out he has some cattle he’s going to sell. At this point I ask are they for meat or dairy - he says meat. On my profile it says I’m a vegetarian. Why would you bother?! I’m clearly not going to be ok with that!! He then twigs about the veggie thing and says he used to be vegan but it wasn’t for him. I question how you go from being vegan to actively being a part of the meat industry, and he says they’re worth twice his annual wages. I replied and said I don’t value money that much, good luck finding somebody! I do wonder why I’m bothering sometimes.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Oh dear lor! 

And I know what you mean. It says in my wish list 'No smokers'. It's the second thing on the list. I've had loads of likes from guys who 'smoke ocassionally'. Do people not read? 

And don't worry about taking over the thread. Vent away!


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## kimthecat (Aug 11, 2009)

Mirandashell said:


> What's so special about Whatsapp? Two guys have now dropped me cos I'm not on it.


 I dont know . Easy to use for messages and photos? it seems popular . It doesn't download to a PC so I assume it's only for phones and tablets ?


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## kimthecat (Aug 11, 2009)

Mirandashell said:


> Well, we said hello and how's your day been, etc. Then he said 'I'm going to be in ***** tomorrow, do you want to meet up?'
> 
> Me - :Bored It's a bit quick and it's quite far from me so I won't be able to.
> Him - I drive
> ...


 :Hilarious happy valentines day  Whatever happened to romance !


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

> I dont know . Easy to use for messages and photos? it seems popular . It doesn't download to a PC so I assume it's only for phones and tablets ?


I think so. TBH, if it's requested straight way then my immediate thought is dick pic. And I get put off.


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

Pavonine said:


> Don't wanna take over your thread but just need to vent my frustration! A guy messaged me and I've been chatting for a bit, he seems really nice. I ask him what he does for work, turns out he has some cattle he's going to sell. At this point I ask are they for meat or dairy - he says meat. On my profile it says I'm a vegetarian. Why would you bother?! I'm clearly not going to be ok with that!! He then twigs about the veggie thing and says he used to be vegan but it wasn't for him. I question how you go from being vegan to actively being a part of the meat industry, and he says they're worth twice his annual wages. I replied and said I don't value money that much, good luck finding somebody! I do wonder why I'm bothering sometimes.


Not as odd as it sounds - I know someone who is a cattle farmer who is also a vegetarian - he just doesn't like eating meat. So since not everyone who is veggie is veggie because they think it is wrong to eat meat, he may not have thought it would be an issue. Very frustrating for you though!


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## Pavonine (Jul 20, 2017)

I put on my profile that I don’t mind if you eat a bit of meat, but if you think you need it to make a proper meal then we aren’t gonna get on. Maybe I should add that I’m also not interested in people who contribute to the meat industry, I just thought it was obvious :Banghead


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## Calvine (Aug 20, 2012)

CuddleMonster said:


> I know someone who is a cattle farmer who is also a vegetarian


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-40253429

You will no doubt remember this!


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Mirandashell said:


> Well, we said hello and how's your day been, etc. Then he said 'I'm going to be in ***** tomorrow, do you want to meet up?'
> 
> Me - :Bored It's a bit quick and it's quite far from me so I won't be able to.
> Him - I drive
> ...


He contacted me again, pretending we hadn't spoken to each other already! Having CFS, I have learnt not to rely on my memory but I was about 80% sure it was him. So I asked him straight out and he flatly denied it. Ten minutes later he asked me if I was on Whatsapp. Then asked me for my phone number!

Blocked!


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## Pardis (Feb 7, 2018)

Pavonine said:


> Don't wanna take over your thread but just need to vent my frustration! A guy messaged me and I've been chatting for a bit, he seems really nice. I ask him what he does for work, turns out he has some cattle he's going to sell. At this point I ask are they for meat or dairy - he says meat. On my profile it says I'm a vegetarian. Why would you bother?! I'm clearly not going to be ok with that!! He then twigs about the veggie thing and says he used to be vegan but it wasn't for him. I question how you go from being vegan to actively being a part of the meat industry, and he says they're worth twice his annual wages. I replied and said I don't value money that much, good luck finding somebody! I do wonder why I'm bothering sometimes.


Ridiculous. Pretty sure most people don't even read the profiles and just go by the pictures. Or they read but do not retain information.

I remember I mentioned on my profile that I moved to the UK from Germany and ended up chatting with a guy for a few days who thhen started talking about Britain First and how foreigners should just go back to where they came from. Then he was all shocked when I felt offended by that. lol


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## Team_Trouble (Apr 11, 2016)

LinznMilly said:


> I've never thought I was socially anxious until I wrote that post, but perhaps I am, as well as being introverted. I get a quick stab of dread when I see someone I know, and know that they've spotted me - always an "oh, no" moment, followed by my mind going "quick - find somewhere to hide", usually followed by a (hopefully brief) conversation that is nowhere near as bad as I feared, but leading to an hour of self reflection and self analysis.
> 
> @kittih - great link!! So true. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who gets grouchy when mentally/emotionally/socially exhausted. A classic sign that my batteries are drained, is that I become passive aggressive, although I'm learning to bite my tongue and simply retreat mentally into a book or a game on my tablet.
> 
> I haven't joined yet.   No money or membership cards have changed hands and if SIL pulls out, chances are, I won't be going, or if I do, I won't stick to it. And, as I said, I'll be taking refuge in the form of my MP3 player.  I'm just a total novice when it comes to exercise, I don't know what I'm doing, and don't know where to begin (although, since both of my dogs are on lead for their entire walks now, I've started incorporating mini exercises such as running on the spot while they're busy checking their peemail or leaving a reply  ) so I'm thinking structured exercises might help me get started, if nothing else.


I'm the same in unexpected social situations, and conduct the obsessive post mortem of the incident afterwards too!


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## Guest (Feb 16, 2018)

I've been single now for 12 years, it's gotten to the point that my dad thinks I'm gay and hiding it. The most I've had is me falling completely in love with attached guys or others just wanting a friends with benefits situation and me wanting more. Now I've had to move back in with my mum and I'm not working due to illness I don't feel like I have anything to offer anyone. Why would anyone want me?. I've also got a lot of tattoos and sadly a lot of men don't like them. I tried dating sites in the past mainly okcupid but the more serious ones tend to be for professionals I find.


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## BlueJay (Sep 20, 2013)

spamvicious said:


> I've been single now for 12 years, it's gotten to the point that my dad thinks I'm gay and hiding it. The most I've had is me falling completely in love with attached guys or others just wanting a friends with benefits situation and me wanting more. Now I've had to move back in with my mum and I'm not working due to illness I don't feel like I have anything to offer anyone. Why would anyone want me?. I've also got a lot of tattoos and sadly a lot of men don't like them. I tried dating sites in the past mainly okcupid but the more serious ones tend to be for professionals I find.


I'm all tattooed up, am more macaroni cheese than human _and_ came with a heap of dogs :Hilarious
If men don't like your tattoos, you're looking at the wrong sort of men!
There's someone out there


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## CuddleMonster (Mar 9, 2016)

@spamvicious if men are put off by your health problems or your tattoos, be thankful. Better to be single for life than end up with someone who only likes you for the way you look, because we are all going to get old and wrinkly at some point! As to 'what you have to offer' you have YOURSELF. You are much more than the sum total of your illness and your tattoos!


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## Guest (Feb 16, 2018)

BlueJay said:


> I'm all tattooed up, am more macaroni cheese than human _and_ came with a heap of dogs :Hilarious
> If men don't like your tattoos, you're looking at the wrong sort of men!
> There's someone out there





CuddleMonster said:


> @spamvicious if men are put off by your health problems or your tattoos, be thankful. Better to be single for life than end up with someone who only likes you for the way you look, because we are all going to get old and wrinkly at some point! As to 'what you have to offer' you have YOURSELF. You are much more than the sum total of your illness and your tattoos!


Thank you guys for your lovely comments. I've actually decided to bite the bullet and have rejoined okcupid and sent someone a message. This thread inspired me so thanks OP. Also @BlueJay I love Macaroni Cheese lol.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I've seen a few tattooed guys on Oasis as well. Mostly biker-looking. But then I only look at fellas over 50 so if you're looking for younger they may not all be bikers.


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## kimthecat (Aug 11, 2009)

spamvicious said:


> I've been single now for 12 years, it's gotten to the point that my dad thinks I'm gay and hiding it. The most I've had is me falling completely in love with attached guys or others just wanting a friends with benefits situation and me wanting more. Now I've had to move back in with my mum and I'm not working due to illness I don't feel like I have anything to offer anyone. Why would anyone want me?. I've also got a lot of tattoos and sadly a lot of men don't like them. I tried dating sites in the past mainly okcupid but the more serious ones tend to be for professionals I find.


Don't put yourself down. Get a bit of attitude and love yourself. 
Im deaf and limited by my Rheumatoid Arthritis. and I met my OH through walking the dogs . I wasn't even looking for a relationship .


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## Guest (Feb 16, 2018)

kimthecat said:


> Don't put yourself down. Get a bit of attitude and love yourself.
> Im deaf and limited by my Rheumatoid Arthritis. and I met my OH through walking the dogs . I wasn't even looking for a relationship .


I've always been underconfident which is part of the problem. I'm hearing impaired also but luckily that hasn't been much of a factor with relationships. Sorry OP I promise not to hijack your thread any longer.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

You're fine. The thread is for all of us dating online. Or thinking of it. Or whatever. Carry on.


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## Guest (Feb 16, 2018)

Well the guy I messaged has messaged me back and he seems lovely. Geeky, tattooed and very cute. I never expected him to reply so I'm trying not to get my hopes up so soon.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

spamvicious said:


> Well the guy I messaged has messaged me back and he seems lovely. Geeky, tattooed and very cute. I never expected him to reply so I'm trying not to get my hopes up so soon.


Just be cautious about what you tell him. Keep the conversation general about your interests and what no. Although you probably already know that.


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## ShibaPup (Mar 22, 2017)

This thread gives me hope for the future - will probably consider online dating when I'm feeling ready


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## Pavonine (Jul 20, 2017)

I’m going on a date tomorrow with a guy I really like. I hope it goes well otherwise I will be really disappointed!!


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

Pavonine said:


> I'm going on a date tomorrow with a guy I really like. I hope it goes well otherwise I will be really disappointed!!


Fingers crossed it goes well


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

@Mirandashell how are things going with you? Are you still chatting to that guy?


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Yes, I am! We are getting on quite well and seem to have a fair amount in common.


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## Guest (Feb 17, 2018)

The guy I have been talking to for the last couple of days has turned out to be a n*b...a borderline racist n*b


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Oh that's a shame. But don't let it discourage you. At least you didn't waste anything but a couple of days.


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## BlueJay (Sep 20, 2013)

spamvicious said:


> The guy I have been talking to for the last couple of days has turned out to be a n*b...a borderline racist n*b


Oh cripes 
Still though... at least you found out sooner before getting invested and things coming out further down the line!


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## Guest (Feb 17, 2018)

BlueJay said:


> Oh cripes
> Still though... at least you found out sooner before getting invested and things coming out further down the line!


Yeah I'm glad because he was too perfect so I knew something had to give. Just a shame it had to be about something so important.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Yeah... that's not something you can compromise on, really.


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## Pavonine (Jul 20, 2017)

Oh that sucks  I broke up with an ex because of that, at least you weren’t fully invested in him


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## Boxerluver30 (Jun 14, 2017)

spamvicious said:


> The guy I have been talking to for the last couple of days has turned out to be a n*b...a borderline racist n*b


Sorry to hear, that sucks. At least you found out early though and didn't waste more of your breath on him. Don't give up


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Pavonine said:


> I'm going on a date tomorrow with a guy I really like. I hope it goes well otherwise I will be really disappointed!!


What happened with the date?


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## Pavonine (Jul 20, 2017)

Mirandashell said:


> What happened with the date?


It went really, really well!! Today is the first day I haven't seen him since haha. I don't wanna jinx it by saying how amazing it all is, but he is different to anybody else I have ever dated and I feel really good about it


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Oh that's so good! Don't say anything else then but I have my fingers crossed for you


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

I just tried OKCupid and I don't understand that site. It advertises as free but then you can't contact anyone unless you pay.


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Plenty of Fish has done the same! You can send messages but can't recieve replies unless you pay. What use is that?

ETA: Nope tell a lie. I found the bit where you can see replies. But it's very basic. And the constant asking to upgrade is really off-putting. It's like they are begging for your money.


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## mrs phas (Apr 6, 2014)

well 6 months in we're still going, we have breakfast dates ( no I havent slept over yet, he picks me up and takes me out) dinner dates, dog walking dates
Hes still supporting me through this horrible journey and even said I was gorgeous when i lost my hair
His daughter has said Ive been the best thing to happen to her dad, including her mum!

It really can work (PoF by the way)


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## Mirandashell (Jan 10, 2017)

Oh that's good to hear!


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