# My cat is terrified



## Gizzy123 (May 24, 2013)

My girlfriend and I recently adopted Gizzy. Gizzy is 2 and half years old and is a beautiful and healthy cat. She has lived her entire life from shelter to shelter. She was about to be put down when the association we adopted her from rescued her. When she first came home, she was very loving and intrigued about the new place. She's never been hiding under the bed or anything like that. Though, the problem I have with Gizzy is that as soon as my girlfriend leaves the house she's petrified. And when I mean, petrified I mean* petrified*.:yikes:

In the morning time, she'll be extremely loving and will want to be pet. She usually jumps on the bed, lays on me and rubs her head against mine until I wake up and start petting her. Then her behaviour will change for some reason, and she'll start being scared of me. Sometimes she's so scared of me during day time, that she won't go to her litter box if she needs to go. Here's where it gets confusing. If I leave the house - say to go grocery shopping - and come back home, her behaviour will change and she'll be loving and rubbing against my feet as soon I walk home. But then, about 30 minutes later she gets scared again.

When she's scared she usually lays in a corner, under a chair or under a table. Her paws are sort of underneath her, her head is down on the carpet and her eyes and pupils get huge. She stares at me to see what I'm going to do. She lays in a semi-fetal position. Her breathing and heart beat intensify drastically. And if I'm walking in her direction, she will meow at me. Her meow is high pitch and extremely weak, truly heartbreaking. If I reach to pet her head, she'll close her eyes (her ears go back), as if I'm going to hit her. If I shake the treat bag, she won't come. If I hand her treats, she won't eat them. To prevent her from going on the carpet , I usually pick her up around 2p.m., and set her close to her litter box and walk away ( That's the only way to make her go in her litter box in those moments). When I set her down, she immediately lays down though. She never stands on her feet as she normally would if my girlfriend was home. (We already brought her to the vet twice. There's nothing wrong with her says the vet.)

Now if my girlfriend walks home, she'll be loving again. She'll eat the treats I give her and she'll want to play or be pet. I'm the only one who gives her treat and feed her daily and I'm the only one who really plays with her daily as well. So, in theory I should be the one she shouldn't be scared of. Her behaviour is confusing and I simply don't know what to do to make her feel better. I tried setting up her bed in another room to offer her more privacy but she won't stay there. I'm not usually home during the day, but when I am, she's absolutely miserable.

At night, she jumps on the couch and lays down on my lap until she falls asleep.

I'm hoping that someone has experienced such behaviour in the past. Hopefully, someone can offer some guidance as to how to make her feel more comfortable.


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

Ignore her. Don't look at her or try to touch her. But feed her, play using one of those long fishing rod toys, and put treats down.


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## Gizzy123 (May 24, 2013)

Tried it already.
I do ignore her.
She doesn't like those toys the only thing she'll play with is a shoelace that I drag around the house and that she loves chasing.
Even if I put the treats down she won't eat them. Yet, when my girlfriend puts them down she does eat them...


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## GingerJasper (Oct 29, 2012)

Sounds like she has detachment issues it may be due to her being in shelters after shelter. I think you may need to try a behaviourist. I can't help with anything further except keep trying with her. Good luck


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

How long for?


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## Gizzy123 (May 24, 2013)

Pretty much ever since we got her.


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Hi, this sounds like a difficult and upsetting situation for all concerned, and I do sympathise. I think it is wonderful you have taken Gizzy on, and I hope it will be possible to resolve her problems. 

It sounds as though Gizzy has had a pretty miserable life living in Shelters, with no-one special to love her and make her feel she belongs somewhere. I wonder why she was passed from Shelter to Shelter? Could it mean she has been re-homed unsuccessfully in the past and returned to the Shelter more than once? If so, this will have been immensely emotionally disruptive for her.

I have often observed that some cats who spend a lot of time in Shelters develop a fawning pseudo-affectionate type of behaviour with anyone who handles them. It is as though they are saying "I am a nice friendly cat, please feed me and don't hurt me!". It is not genuine affection on the cat's part, but a survival tactic they have learnt. 

But for someone adopting a cat that immediately exhibits this pseudo-affectionate behaviour it can be confusing, as the owner assumes it is a sign the cat feels at ease and will settle well, in no time. But when the "affectionate" behaviour turns to a show of inexplicable fear, and the cat starts hiding, it is a clear indication of how unsure of herself she is, and how hard she finds it to really begin to trust humans fully. 

By the sounds of it, she is trying her best to be trusting -- she is affectionate to you when you are in bed, as you are lying down and less intimidating to her, and at other times she will sit on your lap, for the same reason. 

I'd suggest whenever you spend time with Gizzy, sit on the floor so you are more at her level, speak softly to her, read aloud (e.g. newspaper, book,) in a gentle sing-song kind of tone, as you might speak to a human baby, so Gizzy gets used to hearing your voice. At other times, put gentle relaxing music on for her to hear. (cats relax to sounds of Mozart it has been found). 

Try to avoid making any sudden movements when she is near you. 
Put Dreamies down to tempt her to come out of hiding, but don't put them near you for the time being. 

Keep tempting her with interactive toys -- da Bird, wands with feathers, a laser pen, a length of string etc. She probably needs to learn how to play, as maybe no-one ever played with her before. Give her 5 minutes a time and eventually she may feel safe enough to come and investigate. 

I would also give her a course of Zylkene, a supplement, which is good at de-stressing cats and giving them confidence. Available on line in capsules, which you open and sprinkle the powder on the food. Cats like the taste!

It is going to take time, a lot of patience and dedication I think to heal this kittycat's emotional wounds and make her feel safe, wanted and loved. I wish you every success. 

If after a few weeks of trying the above, there is no improvement in Gizzy I would go with the previous poster's suggestion of consulting an animal behaviourist. They are wonderful people who come to your home and make an assessment in situ of the cat's behaviour. Well worth the expense. Your vet will be able to recommend/refer you to someone. If you have pet insurance you can claim for this.


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## jaycee05 (Sep 24, 2012)

I feel so sad for your cat,and sorry that you are doing your best ,but not seeming to get anywhere, i think with time and patience she will learn to trust you, if she has been passed from shelter to shelter she may be very wary of trusting someone, in case it happens again, its a survival instinct probably, like a child who has been in that situation, she could be testing you in her own way,to see if you will keep her or send her back
Poor girl, i hope it works out for you all,please let us know


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## spotty cats (Jul 24, 2012)

Over here the vast majority of shelter workers are female, it could be she's not used to men being around.

two and a half years is a very long time to be in a shelter environment, hopefully in time she'll settle in.

Try a Feliway plug in, and Rescue Remedy in her water to help make her feel at ease. 

Well done on adopting her, I hope she settles soon for you.


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

I meant how long have you tried ignoring her, not how long has she behaved this way.


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## KittenKuddler (May 26, 2013)

I haven't had Isis very long but from my time around animals, both as a person who lived with dogs and someone who volunteered at a vets office, in general I'd say that it could be a mix between the detachment issues previously mentioned and a possablity of abuse by an owner in her past. As she seems to like your girlfriend and not you(assuming you're male) it was probably a male that was doing it. A vet can't really determine that based on a simple visit. I agree with GingerJasper. Take her to a behaviourist and see if they can help you any. If not you could try laying on the floor in spurts and see if she comes to you.


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## OrientalSlave (Jan 26, 2012)

The OP hasn't said where they live. In the UK reputable behaviourists want a vet referal before they will come out to see you, and with cats that is what they do - I have no idea what happens with dogs. Some of them will do a 30 minute phone consultation without a referal but I'm not sure how much use those are.

I do agree though, if the OP has persists for some time (months not days) with ignoring the cat (e.g. not attempting to touch it and not looking directly at it), being the one to feed it, and playing with 'long distance' toys then a behaviourist is probably the way to go.


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## Treaclesmum (Sep 26, 2011)

spotty cats said:


> *Over here the vast majority of shelter workers are female, it could be she's not used to men being around*.
> 
> two and a half years is a very long time to be in a shelter environment, hopefully in time she'll settle in.
> 
> ...


That's a good point - a lot of shelter workers are female, and often if there's a man there, he's the vet! Maybe she thinks you are a vet?..... I guess she was relaxed with the shelter workers but if they left her alone with the vet, it meant he would give her some nasty treatment, perhaps??


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## Cloudygirl (Jan 9, 2011)

Gizzy123 said:


> My girlfriend and I recently adopted Gizzy. Gizzy is 2 and half years old and is a beautiful and healthy cat. She has lived her entire life from shelter to shelter. She was about to be put down when the association we adopted her from rescued her. When she first came home, she was very loving and intrigued about the new place. She's never been hiding under the bed or anything like that. Though, the problem I have with Gizzy is that as soon as my girlfriend leaves the house she's petrified. And when I mean, petrified I mean* petrified*.:yikes:
> 
> In the morning time, she'll be extremely loving and will want to be pet. She usually jumps on the bed, lays on me and rubs her head against mine until I wake up and start petting her. Then her behaviour will change for some reason, and she'll start being scared of me. Sometimes she's so scared of me during day time, that she won't go to her litter box if she needs to go. Here's where it gets confusing. If I leave the house - say to go grocery shopping - and come back home, her behaviour will change and she'll be loving and rubbing against my feet as soon I walk home. But then, about 30 minutes later she gets scared again.
> 
> ...


How long have you had her? I have a 'fraidy boy now named Boo because he peeks at you from behind furniture. We had litter tray problems galore and he used to shake when I picked him up. Took 6 months before he would let me sit with him. Now he lets me kiss his belly and does rollovers but is still very wary with strangers unless amazing cat treats are on offer. He spent most of the first 6 months hiding behind the toilet.


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## Summersky (Aug 11, 2012)

I would try and get more background info on her from the rescues she has been at - how long? rehomed? behaviour in the most recent rescue?

Any attention she will have had so far will probably have been in short bursts, and a home environment is going to be so alien to her.

When someone is around longer, it isn't going to make sense to her.

I don't know much at all really, but I would try a Feliway diffuser to try and help calm her. Make sure she has cosy, safe hiding places for when she is anxious. Keep the environment as calm as possible - there are going to be many things - like the TV and the hoover - that are going to be alien to her.

Is there scope for her to have her own small room/base to retreat to when things get too much (like her enclosure at the centre)?

When she retreats to a "safe place", I would be inclined to leave her, not try and win her over.

Spend time sitting/laying on floor ignoring her, to give her chance to learn that you are not going to hurt her. 

Good luck.


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## koekemakranka (Aug 2, 2010)

How long have you had her? You mentioned "recently" adopted? It can take quite a long time before she feels completely at ease. If she spent extnded periods in a shelter cage, she may have become fearful. One of my cats is an ex-feral who spent about 6 months in a shelter cage. At first, she seemed to have "agoraphobia" and preferred to be in a separate safe room. 

The lying down behaviour could be fear-based. I would agree that "ignoring" her and not pusueing her may be the best option until she realises you are not a threat. Keep all encounters with her positive and non-threatening(cuddles, food and treats) 
Don't give up on her, she will come around as my Flea did.


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## thatsafunnylookingcat (Apr 21, 2012)

Do you know any of the history of who owned her before her 2 years in shelters? It could be that she was hurt by somebody in the past and being put back into a household situation makes her fearful of it happening again. In my experience something must have happened to her for her to learn to behave this way. It could be something such as a heavy handed child when she was a kitten. 

I agree with ignoring her. She will learn to relax in your house eventually when she feels that it is safe their. Don't push her or try to handle her when she is that scared, it will only make her more tense and frightened.


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## rose (Apr 29, 2009)

Hi
I have an ex breeding cavalier from a puppy farm in wales. They have the most appalling lives and are completely shell shocked when you get them.
They have never breen treated anything but roughly, they live half starved in squalor, with no heat light or bedding. Usually the staff that run these hell holes are male. Hence a majority of these dogs stay terrified of men for the rest of their lives. We have had Annie for nearly 5 years, she still will not take a biscuit or walk past my husband, and yet he has only ever been kind to her. I expect it is the same in your cats case, some man has ill treated her at some stage. Good luck, I hope you can befriend her.


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## Gizzy123 (May 24, 2013)

Thank you all so much for your numerous and helpful suggestions. 
I will let you all know how the situation evolves.


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

rose said:


> Hi
> 
> 
> > I have an ex breeding cavalier from a puppy farm in wales. They have the most appalling lives and are completely shell shocked when you get them.
> ...


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## Gizzy123 (May 24, 2013)

Zylkene just doesn't seem to be available in the US.


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## rose (Apr 29, 2009)

chillminx said:


> rose said:
> 
> 
> > Hi
> ...


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## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

Gizzy123 said:


> Zylkene just doesn't seem to be available in the US.


I believe this is the same thing under a different name, sold for humans, and available from amazon.com.

Amazon.com: Biotics Research - De-Stress 30 Caps: Health & Personal Care

You'd need to make sure it comes in capsules so you can open them and sprinkle the powder on the cats food. For cats weighing up to 5 kg, the dose is 75 mg a day.

The alternative would be to import Zylkene from the UK. There is bound to be a few companies e.g. on amazon.co.uk, who will ship to the USA. But of course it won't be cheap -- UK mailing costs are higher than US mailing costs.


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## Gizzy123 (May 24, 2013)

I tried to buy it from several websites, all based in the UK but none shipped to the US. 
It seems Zylkene is missing a patent in the US.
I'll give it a try. 
I read a few reviews and one or two were saying that their vet recommended those pills for their cats.


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