# My Westie has Lymphoma (Warning: unpleasant details)



## babytarragon (Dec 28, 2010)

Hi all, I'm new here. My first dog is dying, and I would really appreciate some advice from more experienced dog owners.

She's a four year old Westie, who I first thought was a cross but now I think she came from a puppy farm and was the runt of the litter and inbred. I bought her when I was 18 and didn't know about puppy farming. She's absolutely the centre of my life.

In November we noticed her anus was coming out when she pooped. We spent a month trying to get the vets to take it seriously, and it just got worse and worse and she was bleeding every day. Eventually my parents took her in for me, and the vets finally took it seriously and she went to a specialist hospital just before Christmas. At that point I fully thought she could be treated. Then they called on Christmas Eve to tell me it was Lymphoma, and while they could treat it and probably keep her alive a while, it will eventually kill her.

She started chemo straight away and since then her bum has healed and no longer bleeds. The vet thinks it's possible she could live for a another year if she has 6 months treatment, although her chances of going into a long remission are near impossible.

However since starting the steroids she seems really stressed. She's become really hungry, to the point that she obsesses over food and will growl and even bite me if I keep her away from food, eg a something I dropped. She never used to bite me, so it's really shocking. She has also become really aggressive towards my mum's dogs, and while she was always a loner she was never like this. Luckily her steroid dose is reducing and I hope her personality will start going back to normal, but right now she seems unhappy. I think it possible that because we are feeling so sad and upset, it's making her stressed.

I love her very much and desperately don't want to lose her, but I'm so unsure about whether I'm doing the right thing. My fiance's mum has offered to help us with the chemo bill, and we had savings, but I wonder if it's right to do chemo at all. Some members of my family think that since she is dying, she should be allowed to die gracefully. But she LOOKS healthy, so in that way it feels right to treat her. But she has to have blood tests and drips every week, and a hour car journey there and back, so she is miserable fore 5 hours a week!

I decided not to get another dog after her because I could never replace her feisty personality and funny voice, but I can't imagine not having a dog. I don't know what to do.

Here's a picture from the other day. Still looks as healthy as ever and still loving a cuddle. Her tongue is always like that, it's her overbite!










Thanks for reading. I'd really like to hear people's opinions on treating lymphoma and replacing dogs who died too young 

Edit to add: She's responding well to chemo so far. However, our insurance will not cover the treatment, as the limit is £3000 and that has nearly been reached. So we need a further £2000 or so for the treatment. I'm 23 and this isn't something I can really afford. I don't know what to do. I could take out a loan but I am really scared of debt, I've always had any before.


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## Guest (Jan 3, 2011)

Just caught this as I was off to bed! so apolygises forthis being short!

How very sad that you have such a young dog who had not been fortunate to experience a long and happy life! If just eems so cruel and unfair that there are so many unwanted dogs in the world and so many people that treat them so badly yet something you love so very much is about to be snatched away from you. Not wishing illness of any poor other dog, of course Im not - just pointing out how life does stink sometimes! What did we do wrong to deserve this! our hearts feel like they are about to be wrethed out!!

I know how you feel sweetheart - I lost a dog - her name was misty and she was just four and a half years old! God works in mysterious ways sometimes, All I can say is to give her as much love as you can, enjoy her whilst you have her and ensure that she never suffers pain. and that means that you have to know when to let go.

Sorry this all may not be what you want to read - but thinking of you and I do know what you are going through!

And I had another dog within 6 weeks - but it were the wrong thing! I still am grieving for my sweet Misty

xxx


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## Nellybelly (Jul 20, 2009)

DoubleTrouble said:


> Just caught this as I was off to bed! so apolygises forthis being short!
> 
> *How very sad that you have such a young dog who had not been fortunate to experience a long and happy life! If just eems so cruel and unfair that there are so many unwanted dogs in the world and so many people that treat them so badly yet something you love so very much is about to be snatched away from you. Not wishing illness of any poor other dog, of course Im not - just pointing out how life does stink sometimes! What did we do wrong to deserve this! our hearts feel like they are about to be wrethed out!!*
> I know how you feel sweetheart - I lost a dog - her name was misty and she was just four and a half years old! God works in mysterious ways sometimes, All I can say is to give her as much love as you can, enjoy her whilst you have her and ensure that she never suffers pain. and that means that you have to know when to let go.
> ...


I felt exactly like that with my dog, my soul mate, my everything; Nelson, had to be put to sleep. He was not even 9, but that seems like quite a bit compared to you and the OP.

Nelson had an autoimmune disease. We went to 6 different vets (most only gave him 1-2 monthsto live, some insisted it was cancer....) but we found one vet who was amazing, he did many tests on Nelson (but not bone marrow aspirate which was needed to definitely say it was/ wan't cancer, as this would likely kill him as he had a bleeding disorder - this was done as soon as he was pts just for our own curiousity/peace of mind...that we didn't look down the chemo route).

The similarities with your Westie are:

Until we had concluded that Nelson probably didnt have cancer, we were really not sure if we would go down the chemo route or not. Because like you have been told, it is hardly ever a cure, but just prolongs the life.

And also, Nelson was on steroids for his autoimmune disease. They made him exceptionally hungry, and he also had to wee very often (we would take him out 8 times a day or more... But for the first 10 months since diagnosis he really mainained an excellent quality of life.

I wont go into too many details, but I will say what was most important to me:

Nelson was my most special dog. he was my first dog. we just had an unbelievable connection. I couldnt imagine losing him, but I also couldnt imagine my life without a dog. 3 motnhs after I said goodbye to my angel, I got another dog. Another rescue, girl this time, called Bella. For the first 6 months I wondered if I'd made the hugest mistake of my life. But it turns out I didn't an dnow I am more grateful than anything to have her and i adore her. The hardest part was accepting nelson was gone and comparing Bella to Nelson. But eventually, I have had it reconfirmed that no dog could ever replace Nelson, and that is exactly how I want it to be. I ahve a place in my heart - a huge place - that is for him only. I will always love him and ache for him, and he has been the most beautoful chapter of my life so far.

I am now able to look at bella without thinking of Nelson, or comparing the 2. She is 100% a different dog - very lacking in the brain cell department (whereas my nelson was the smarted dog I have ever met), very silly, fun-loving and loyal. Nelson was a very wise serious boy.

so about getting another dog, when the time comes I think you should get one if you can't imagine our life without - the hardest part is being able to separate the new dog from your Wesite which you have now.

Also, we spenty the past 2 months of Nelson's life at the vet almost daily. But our vet is a very kind man, and Nelson loved him,a nd would happily go to the vet withotu this causing him any stress. This was hugely important to me. So a crucial factor in your decision about treatment should be how your girl copes at the vet and how often you need to go/will need to go in the future...

And the saddest part. To many people,Nelson was a miracle as he outlived 5 vet's predictions by almost a year. And for almost all of this he had a good quality of life. The last 3 weeks were the hardest,and we discussed euthanasia many times with my vet. The thing is, despite nelson's deteriorating condition, he still wagged his tail, loved his food and chews, enjoyed his tiny walks (they had become really small the last few weeks). It was horrible to see this disease eating away at my dog, who was so desperate to live, and stay close the people who loved him. 
I have so much admiration for my Nelson, and always will do. He fought so courageously, and bravely, never complaining, always making the most of what he _did_ have. And yet, when the day came that his poor body could fight no more (his lungs had strated filling up with fluid)...he accepted that his time had come with absolute calm, and no anger.... (I know I am anthropomorphising here). I had worried so much I wouldn't knwo when to make the decision to help Nelson go to sleep and get wome well deserved rest, but he made it very easy for me - without implying it wasn;t the saddest most difficult day of my life.

And then finally, saying goodbye. ONce again, I am very grateful to our vet who did this in the kindest most respectful loving way. I do feel Nelson left with every bit of dignity he deserved. I was with him the whole time...talking to him, stroking him. I am the last thing his eyes saw before he went to sleep. And however much it pains me and tears at my heart to ahve that memory, I am grateful to ahve had the power to take away his suffering and put it on me. I feel like I owed it to him.

wow, that didn't turn out as short as I expected.

I really wish I could give you advice on what to do, but only you know your dog and what is best for her. I am thinking of you, and so unbelievably sorry youa nd your girl are going through this!


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## babytarragon (Dec 28, 2010)

Doubletrouble: Thank you so much for your kind words. They really mean a lot. I'm sorry to hear you lost Misty so young 

NellyBelly: I really appreciate you sharing such a difficult thing. It sounds like Nelson was very lucky to have you as his owner, and that you gave him the best life you could.


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