# New kitten is lovely but wont sit with us



## craftymonster (Nov 19, 2012)

Hi there,

We have a brand new 9 week old kitten and she's lovely - very playful, quite bold and really good fun. She seems to have a great temperament.

However, she wont yet sit with us. We've had her less than a week so I know not long. When she's really sleepy you can move her onto your lap and she'll settle down and sleep quite happily there, but she's not yet coming voluntarily. She seems much more interested in playing than cuddles and although will purr when stroked, wont be interested at all unless she's pretty sleepy. She also runs away from us quite a bit.

She's really affectionate in the mornings, I guess because she hasn't seen us for 8 hours! She also follows us around at this point - but no other point in the day.

So I just wanted to see if this is pretty normal? The breeder thought she'd be a lap cat which I'm really hopeful for. I know that some cats just aren't into cuddles, but hoping that all is not lost yet! She's very young and has been with us a very short amount of time. How long does it take for kittens to get more comfortable with their surroundings?

We're clicker training her too so hopefully that will help.


----------



## rcmadd (Feb 6, 2011)

so you have had her a couple of days and expect her to be all lovey dovey....

wake up and have some patience....

she will come to you when she is ready NOT when your ready..

and we want pictures... NOW..


----------



## carly87 (Feb 11, 2011)

I find that mine go through a phase of thinking that cuddles are booooooooring and are for babies, just like our own human children do. Perhaps she's just going through that? Some kittens are just busy little people, far too busy to sit down for a cuddle, and she could be one of those too. Either way, many of them do settle as they mature. The fact she's purring when you stroke her is such a good sign, so keep persisting.


----------



## craftymonster (Nov 19, 2012)

rcmadd said:


> so you have had her a couple of days and expect her to be all lovey dovey....
> 
> wake up and have some patience....
> 
> ...


I know, I'm being a bit impatient! but really I wanted just to find out if it's pretty normal behaviour- I guessed yes, but wanted some reassurance! I've heard they calm down a lot when they're neutered as well.

No pics to hand unfortunately! but take it from me, she's gorgeous


----------



## Misi (Jul 13, 2009)

Leila was the same at he beginning. She would even come and lie on my pillow, or snuggle under my chin in bed, but voluntary get on any laps, no. Now, however, she comes really often. She particularly likes my lap when I'm sitting at the computer or in the evening when Simba's already on my lap. They usually settle down together after a tussle! I'm sure your babe will come round


----------



## chillminx (Nov 22, 2010)

You really do have to give her time. The little mite has just been taken away from her mum, her siblings and the environment she was used to all her life, and put in a strange place with new scents and sounds and new humans to get used to. It is huge change for a kitten, an enormous adjustment for her to make. 

Also she was only 8 weeks old when she left her mum, and this is too young. She should have been left with her mum until at least 10 weeks. Pedigree breeders in fact don't let their kittens go until 12 or 13 weeks. Those extra weeks give the kitten a chance for its mum to teach it social skills, and give the kitten more self confidence. As it is, you are going to have to act in loco parentis and help your kitten adjust, by being very patient and kind with her. 

No kitten comes with a guaranteed personality, as I am sure you know. They are all individuals with their own characteristics and foibles. That's what makes them so interesting. Some are lap cats, some are not. Some like being picked up, some don't. It is part of the fascination, waiting to see how a kitten will turn out as they grow up. 

If she doesn't become a lap cat I am sure she will have other traits which you will love her for You can encourage her to climb on you, by sitting on the floor and playing with wand type toys with her. Have some of her favourite treats nearby to bribe her to climb on your lap to retrieve them. Let her come to you when she's ready.

EDIT : yes, everything you describe is normal behaviour for such a young kitten.


----------



## catgeoffrey (Jun 28, 2012)

Kittens take time to learn to live you. 
Geoffrey was vey affectionate from day 1 but Ruxpin is more cautious and is still a timid kitten 3 weeks after he arrived home with us. When I came home today he couldn't get enough of me, cuddles, purrs, but now I'm boring and Geoffrey is more fun! 
Give your kitten time and she will be a loving creature I'm sure.


----------



## dharma66 (Oct 25, 2009)

To be honest, it's a great sign that after so short a time, you can lift her onto your lap and have her stay there!

Take things slowly, let her go when she wants to go, and stay when she wants to stay. She'll soon learn that your lap is the warmest place, and that she gets strokes and scratches when she's there.

Remember cat language, and try to avoid staring or trying to coax her with wide eyes and outstretched hands...quite forthright cat language. Keep your hands low and give her the slow blink (the cat equivalent to blowing kisses) when you want her to come onto your lap. It may just encourage her.


----------



## oggers86 (Nov 14, 2011)

I have had my two cats for a year, Elise was the more likely to sit with us even at the beginning, Elsa would sit next to you but never on you. 

A few weeks ago, Elsa suddenly decided that sitting on us (mainly me) was a great idea and enjoys her cuddles. I now get less Elise cuddles during the day but she is more likely to come and meow for attention at night. 

Neither cats will stay if you put them on you. 

One of my previous cats was the same, her choice for sitting on people. She was like this for 15 years and never really changed. The other cat is just a big teddy bear and will sit wherever you put him but I dont think he is a real cat  He was a scared stray in the beginning but once he was confident enough to be picked up he was instantly a cuddle bug and has to sit with people which is a pain when he comes in all soggy and smelly!

A week is no time at all in normal circumstances and every cat has its own personality and time frame in which it changes or doesnt change as is obvious from my own experience. 

I do understand how desperate you are for cuddles, I still want my cats to be more cuddly


----------



## Davejc1 (Nov 23, 2012)

Give her time. I'm newto the forum and new to cats, so I don't pretend to actually know what I'm talking about. I can however offer my (recent) experiences....
My two kittens ( that's still sounds weird!) have been here since August, I never SAW them for a week. I spat my dummy out, I've only ever had dogs. You call a dog, it comes. Couldn't get my head round why it didn't work for cats. But one thing I have learned is, although it took longer (3weeks) for me to connect with them, it felt like it was EARNED. Sounds daft trying to explain it, but the first time they came when called, first time they jumped up of their own free will, first time Picked them up and sat them down felt like a real milestone, like I'd made it to another level in them trusting me. 
My advice would be this ;Enjoy the time it takes..it'll mean more in the end.


----------

